#i am so glad stories like these exist
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I hate that I am so incredibly emotional.
On one side it is a blessing to be able to feel so deeply for a sole creation of ideas and fantasy, but at the same time it sucks because there is only so much to consume of these tales.
I love that fanfiction writers and fanartists exist because this way there will always be something to find but I can't help the craving of more cannon knowledge and events I have so often, and the sadness that comes along with knowing that there won't be any.
Finishing a story that grew so dear to my heart is always gut-wrenching again and again and I will never get used to this.
Damn you, silly soft heart. Bless you aswell in a way but mainly damn you.
#yes I finished Astarion's companion quest#and now i sit here like#well what now#i still have some stuff to do in the game but I'm already so sad that it's over soon#stuff like this always feels to me like losing a dear friend#and i feel so incredibly stupid every single timw#i am so glad stories like these exist#they bring so much joy into my life but also so much pain#but i guess this is just how love works right#i am crying while writing this lol#its been a day and i still can't comprehend#why am i like this#bg3#astarion#although this can apply to other things aswell
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I finished posting the unabashedly educational Sword Fic.
It includes a detailed (but hopefully beginner-friendly) explanation of all the steps of making a Nichirin blade from a sunny mountain like Mt. Youkou, a touch of swordsmith and metalworker folk lore (including demons), meta about what must make Kimetsu no Yaiba's swordsmithing methods different from real life methods, some character exploration for Haganezuka and his polishing method, vocabulary and additional resources in the chapter notes, and hopefully, an endearing, silly POV character to learn this all through.
#my fics#SWORDS SWORDS SWORDS#would you like a story about the years of background of this fic?#I was not very well-versed in metallurgy until recent years but my study of the Japanese language goes back to#well#longer than some of you may have been around#I always liked samurai and swords for the aesthetic but started to take more of an interest when I lived in Shimane#and on a day when I had a friend taking me around to rural sites associated with a legendary monster she was like#let's go see the sword museum while you're out here#but that museum was closed (it comes back into this story though)#so we went to a different one that no longer exists but that was my first encounter with how much work it takes to make the sword ore#fast forward years later#I am writing this blog and it becomes known as a fun place to read about Japanese culture as seen in KnY (thanks glad you enjoy)#I decide that I must tell people how hard it is to make the ore and finally visit that main museum on a trip back to Shimane#I collect material and struggle to do more research and wrap my head around it#and I write the first version of Teppi's story that focused mostly on the smelting and glazed over the forging and polishing and stuff#meanwhile I am in a job situation I have already long since wanted out of and soon I want out a lot more desperately#job searches were disheartening but then I found THE ONE I WANTED#and on that first interview when I was already like PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE#they asked if there's a Japanese cultural topic I could suddenly explain in great detail if asked#and without mentioning this blog I said I had recently written up something for fun about tatara smelting methods (and they forgot this)#fast forward again and I very happily got the job and was very nervous as I got the rundown on a very large annual nerd project#and when they announced the topics for that year I saw that tatara smelting methods in the region I knew them from was on the list#and I was like#asudyaiusdyuasdyuahduahduhsdhuPLEASE GIVE ME THAT#and i got it and when I went out there for research people were like#...why do you know all this...???????#and since I dared not mention my KnY blog I was like#...I lived in Shimane...#it seems I broke the tags because the rest of the story got cut off but hi yes you get the idea
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this torture we're going through with the anime must be divine karma for slandering Bones all this time...... they said "oh, you don't like how we adapt things? you say the manga does it better?? okay then, well now there is no more manga. it's Bones or bust, bitches."
#bungou stray dogs#they really said now either you get the story from us or you don't get it at all 😭😭😭😭💀#screaming crying throwing up shaking HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CARRY ON FOR THE NEXT WEEK LIKE EVERYTHING IS NORMAL#NOT KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK 'TWILIGHT FAREWELL' MEANS#NOT EVEN A FULL WEEK BUT FIVE DAYS CAUSE THE PV ALONE WILL END ME#seriously though how can i be okay with getting canon content for the first time in the ANIME#they already do terribly with content that ALREADY EXISTS#HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL GETTING /NEW CONTENT/ THROUGH /BONES/#i guess looking at it another way though...... i should be glad if they deliver me some fucking hope a few weeks early#like obviously i'd rather none of this have happened and have gotten to this point in the last episode in the manga first#but since it did turn out this way....... if good things happen i'll take it i can't complain at this point just GIVE ME HOPE#mexican standoff with bones now that there's (basically) no manga content left like 'so it is down to you and it is down to me'#bones at the end of the fucking bsd world: 'never thought i'd be fighting side by side with a bsd anime hater'#me: 'how about side by side with a friend?'#bones: 'aye i can do that'
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I have reluctantly come to terms with the fact that there are only 16 fics on Ao3 for Kooza, so I'm going to have to be the change that I want to see in the word.
#I'm honestly stunned that there was any at all#but I am so glad for the few that exist#even if the last story was updated 2 years ago#I've got a handful of other fanfics I need to finish#but priority now is making sure there are at least 17 fics for Kooza#but also what on earth am I doing writing cirque du soleil fanfiction#there was like 4 established characters in that performance#I blame the trickster#cirque du soleil#kooza#the trickster#trickster#l'innocent#the innocent
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Finally got enough energy to talk about Furina's SQ and while I loved her and the troupe, MC and Paimon were .... Not Great. I talked about this with friends but in Paimon's case especially, the way they interact with Furina feels like people who just don't understand trauma and depression and then engage with someone suffering from both in all the wrong ways.
Talking about how much of a downgrade her house is from the opera house, making fun of how she can't cook, pushing her to act when she's set a very clear boundary and then guilt tripping her after she's stuck to her guns, shaming her for not being able to fight well (Paimon literally talks about how second hand embarrassment is overwhelming and I'm just like ?????), telling her she's "not acting like herself" when she attempts to open up and be vulnerable....it's just really rough. That and the MC asking "is something wrong" when Furina gets sad over Poission ..like bro people died and she couldn't save them and she's tearing herself apart over it. Those people are never coming back and you know it and you have the gall to ask her is something wrong??? Of COURSE there is!!
It just feels especially odd because we literally get to see all of Furina's suffering and Paimon in particular is. SO mean? Like she was more understanding with Wanderer and Ei and THEY'VE tried to kill us multiple times!! I don't get it, and honestly I'm very proud of Furina for refusing to waver. Let her rest!! She's tired and depressed and she needs time to heal; and honestly fuck Paimon for trying to make her feel bad. Furina's worked harder than she EVER will.
#as someone with depression and who's highly sensitive this story quest hurt a LOT because ive also encountered people who don't understand.#i've been told i need to get over my anxiety. i've been asked what am i so tired from since i just lay in bed.#so furina's character and how she was treated hit very very hard for me. she's isolating herself and not coping well but she is TRYING.#she's trying so hard and she equates her worth to her role. like she literally tells you that she serves no more use to anyone.#and i wanted to shake her so hard. because it's not about what she can do#she has worth simply because she exists. full stop. she is loved and she is appreciated just for being herself#her worth isn't decided by her power yk??#i hope she can rest and heal and find some good friends - after the way mc and paimon treated her i honestly don't think they should be#or if they are; they'd have to work to earn her trust cuz good LORD. they treated her so weird and so tone deaf!!#i've seen a lot of people complaining about it too so im glad im not alone.#anyway. there is something wrong with me i have cried actual tears over furina please god she needs a hug#and to be told she did a good job and she can rest now and things will get better#4.2 spoilers#genshin impact#furina
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i want desperately for you guys to know that this is how swanatello was born. he was designed and drawn in a span of approximately 30 minutes at work and made originally with the only intention being "pun." thanks @actuallynobutwhynot for getting me to make him lmao i gotta draw him and your sona together sometime.
#swanatello#and look at us now jfc#i didnt even intend for him to have any kind of a story i just sort of#made it up recently#as i did shitty doodles of him while talking about risesonas with friends#thanks also @ beanarry for making me want a donniesona in the first place#and @ sep council for bringing up risesonas and getting me to dust him off#and thanks @ bean again for getting me to post him lol i wasnt expecting anyone to??? care abt him#like to be fair its not like hes BLOWING UP or whatever but i have never gotta so much attention in my askbox before#and he has literally existed on tumblr for#like#four days#and i have gotten SO many asks and fanart and shit abt him and i am just blown away and also absolutely TICKLED#thanks gang#i am glad you like him#..... <3#i like him too#i like telling his story#and im really happy that i have kind of been tricked into just?#doing really shitty low effort doodles and being ok with that being what i post?#it is very freeing#anyway thanks <3#i will get to all the asks eventually#some of them im hanging onto#because answering them involves dropping MAD lore and sort of slingshotting the story forward and i dont wanna like#reveal everything right away ig?#so patience plz <3#i will get to everything i can eventually
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I know I would apologise, if I could, see your eyes cause when you showed me myself, you know I became, someone else
#for literally like 15+ yrs of my life i just thought this was ireedemably cheesy but im afraid im in deep rn. it's good. it's valid#is it believable at this point in the story? no. but that doesn't matter <3#am i glad they didn't use it and is what they did use better? yes. but nevertheless. have to respect it#that they were forced to film this due to *9/11* also indescribably funny. but they gave it their all i feel#bourne#jason x marie#some of us made full AMVs to the song when we were 12 but tragically deleted them from youtube because they were like 480p#did bluray even exist in 2007? honestly i dont think so. makes you think!#my stuff#my bourne stuff
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brother was talking to me about how if you almost die from an extreme-temperature-related incident then your body is just forever fucked towards that temperature and that's why i think kiryu and saejima are weak to ice. i dont know why aoki isn't like that too but ignore that statistic everything else tracks.
#snap chats#i already made this post highkey but im making it again cause i didnt know this was an actual real thing ☠️#my brother learned this when he started to work for target. because apparently that's a thing they tell you frame one#'snap how did this topic even come up' i am LITERALLY so glad you asked :) the cold has almost claimed me twice#am i exaggerating Maybe but its my fucked up body temperature now listen#when i was younger i got locked out of my house for like. three hours since i was a latchkey kid#and my dad wasn't supposed to come home with my siblings (from their after school events) for Three Hours#and it had snowed outside and Was Cold Yeah and i couldn't get in cause i forgot my key like a weiner#and yeah. was really cold :) my dad was real cross with me when he found me shivering in the shed LOL#he made me hot cocoa tho so its ok. second incident's just funny No I Talk About It Evvery Other Week#and im p sure i talked bout the first incident too but yeah that time after the con when i was at my sister's#like i cannot stress how cold it was because It Was Late November and the cold still existed#and my sister's heater just. Didnt Work but yeah. i wont go into detail cause i share this story every five seconds#POINT IS i've always had a hard time with the cold- like i'm cold nearly all the time even if the room is 90 degrees#i wont be COLD cold but i'll be colder than i like#anyways can't believe i'm weak to ice this is so sad. i love winter..#aoki isn't weak to ice cause uhhhh /aoki/ didnt almost die in the cold 🥴 masato did 🥴#imagine changing your identity so well that you just remove your past elemental weakness. fucked up.#alright bye
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i literally love ao3 like where else could you find a 20k ongoing Top Gun Maverick x Ted Lasso crossover
#ted lasso#sometimes i see a story and i am like i will never ever read this but im so glad that it exists lol
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Don't know what I ate today but my nightmares be WILD tonight. I can hardly explain any of this but I am still scared of heights and falling apparently, and also hot things.
#I feel barely awake as it is#thought it'd be later in the nigjt but its only loke 12#everything is a weird mix of a nightmare and a comedy and somehow that makds perfect sense to me#but its all the more terrifying as the object upon which all the comedy is centred in the nightmare#no it's not a fesr of embarrassment its the fact tnat every inconvenient thing that could go wrong DOES go wrong#and uni students are as baffled as k sm tha I jjst fell nearly two stories#and then I wad chased by fucking THEARE kids in the middle of a cats performance#and tje children are lauginh at me arriving late to some thing because I am injured and missing joints appatently from the fall#like man#this isnt even the first fall or chase ip a strangely narrow ladder/staircase of the night#I'm having A Day#also taylor swift can fuck off why is that woman present in my nightmares#and also never let a law professor own a machine gun jet pack thing because wtf are those#and I am so glad work health and safety exists in waking life because oh boy#they would be my knights in shining armour in my dream rn
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Aleynaaa!!! I know you don't usually answer to these type of asks, but have no one to share this with saurr your my lucky victim IG🤷♀️
Saur me and my sister were eating snacks a while ago, and then her friends called. Of course she answered it and then honestly I wish she didn't cuz.. I heard sloppy sounds😭 to be exact the same sounds you would usually hear when a man is--the worst part of this is my mom entering the room(gosh it was horrible)
... see, the reason “i don’t usually answer these types of asks” is because this is my first time receiving an ask like this and i have no idea how to respond and i have more questions than answers here 😧
like wdym “friends” 🤨, are we talking about one person or more?! and was it just sloppy sounds?? like no one was talking from the other side?? and i assume your unfinished sentence would read “when a man is screwing himself” ... (?)
what’s the tea here 😭 why is that person calling your sis calling in such a state? does your sister have some secrets y’all don’t know?
and. about your mom entering the room. well. is everyone alive? i mean i’d be dead if it was my mother and i was in that situation. but anyway, it sure must have been traumatizing for all of you 😔 my condolences 🫂
#📬; aleyna’s mailbox#nonnie 🕊️#apologies for being so nosy but like... what the hell am i supposed to do here#but this was kinda fun 😃 i’m glad you came to share this story in my asks because it made me feel very validated 😌#like yeah someone thought of sharing such a detail of their daily life with ME 😳#imma make an exclusive tag for this and hope more people would interact with me like this 🤩#so cool omg i don’t remember the last time i felt like an existence on tumblr#` filed under ⧽ ❛ tea-time ❜ 👀#qphoria 𓍯
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watched glass onion. thank you rian johnson for ur service once again
#glass onion#I didn't LOVE it as much as knives out#but knives out is like. one of if not my favorite movie#and this came really close so#and for having janelle monae burning muskrats parodys whole life? having benoit blanc be married to hugh grant?#loved it#wanted a little itty mention of marta#I just wanna see her and her fortune!!!#but I get why there wasn't any too#i just am so glad benoit blancs stories exist and for that <3#filmes
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Okay the one thing I will say before I go to bed tonight is this:
I love Pedro with my WHOLE heart
#shazam spoilers#like??? hhhh#and like...ohhh my god#listen i have known that dc is much more willing in general to portray their queer characters as queer on the screen#between the cw shows and the hbo max shows they have proven that#but it is. SUCH a different experience to see queer characters in a superhero movie on the big screen???#genuinely i was so ecstatic at the beginning of the movie and i thought the baseball magazine was going to be all there was to it#and then he SAID THE WORDS 'i'm gay' and it was just something that existed and was important and was a small moment.#but i KEEP thinking about it. i am soso SO happy. it was small but it was so so big#and i am so glad for it. i frequently have gripes with dc but. they are willing and ready to tell more stories. it's a bumpy road#but it's not all stories based on and written by and for cishet white men yknow? and i am soso glad for that#anyway @marvel the ball is in your fucking court dc's shows are hella queer and they have a queer character on the big screen#last i checked mcu had...one vavue reference to liking men from loki? ina disney+ show? jist saying
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I don't know if this writer will ever know this, but this fic has been what has kept my soul alive for a long time. I daydream about it, and I have a music playlist for it. I actually do think about this fic when I see Rooster and Maverick now.
#I hope they don't think me not commenting is due to them or their story but my general depression about what I am in the Roosmav fandom#I am still so genuinely impressed that they managed to keep on going for almost two years now(?) seemingly by themself#that kind of sheer belief in self is so admirable and it really comes through in their writing#I am just glad that this fic exists because I can always point to it as the perfect omega!Rooster take for me#this fic is like if someone went into my brain and pulled my dreams out and materialized them in actually good writing#GOD WBDFJJLSFJDKLLK I actually could talk about this fic for daaaayyyyyssss#who would have known that a longfic about Rooster wanting Maverick to impregnate him would be one of my favorite stories of all time#but it IIIISSSSSSSS goooossshhhh the characterization for the both of them is so impeccable here#it is usually quite difficult to get me to ''like'' top!Mav (because I am jealous)#but I love that this Maverick utterly reveres Rooster so I am like ''You know what...maybe this Maverick *does* deserve Bradley's pussy''#SORRY - ROOSTER'S VAGINA IS A PRIZE FOR ME so I do personally enjoy when Maverick has to earn it
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if I've learned anything from grad school it's to check your sources, and this has proven invaluable in the dozens of instances when I've had an MBA-type try to tell me something about finances or leadership. Case in point:
Firefox serves me clickbaity articles through Pocket, which is fine because I like Firefox. But sometimes an article makes me curious. I'm pretty anal about my finances, and I wondered if this article was, as I suspected, total horseshit, or could potentially benefit me and help me get my spending under control. So let's check the article in question.
It mostly seems like common sense. "...track expenses and income for at least a month before setting a budget...How much money do I have or earn? How much do I want to save?" Basic shit like that. But then I get to this section:
This sounds fucking made up to me. And thankfully, they've provided a source to their claim that "research has repeatedly shown" that writing things down changes behavior. First mistake. What research is this?
Forbes, naturally, my #1 source for absolute dogshit fart-sniffing financial schlock. Forbes is the type of website that guy from high school who constantly posts on linkedin trawls daily for little articles like this that make him feel better about refusing to pay for a decent package for his employees' healthcare (I'm from the United States, a barbaric, conflict-ridden country in the throes of civil unrest, so obsessed with violence that its warlords prioritize weapons over universal medical coverage. I digress). Forbes constantly posts shit like this, and I constantly spend my time at leadership seminars debunking poor consultants who get paid to read these claims credulously. Look at this highlighted text. Does it make sense to you that simply writing your financial goals down would result in a 10x increase in your income? Because if it does, let me make you an offer on this sick ass bridge.
Thankfully, Forbes also makes the mistake of citing their sources. Let's check to see where this hyperlink goes:
SidSavara. I've never heard of this site, but the About section tells me that Sid is "a technology leader who empowers teams to grow into their best selves. He is a life-long learner enjoys developing software, leading teams in delivering mission critical projects, playing guitar and watching football and basketball."
That doesn't mean anything. What are his LinkedIn credentials? With the caveat that anyone can lie on Linkedin, Mr. Savara appears to be a Software Engineer. Which is fine! I'm glad software engineers exist! But Sid's got nothing in his professional history which suggests he knows shit about finance. So I'm already pretty skeptical of his website, which is increasingly looking like a personal fart-huffing blog.
The article itself repeats the credulous claim made in the Forbes story earlier, but this time, provides no link for the 3% story. Mr. Savara is smarter than his colleages at Forbes, it's much wiser to just make shit up.
HOWEVER. I am not the first person to have followed this rabbit hole. Because at the very top of this article, there is a disclaimer.
Uh oh!
Sid's been called out before, and in the follow up to this article, he reveals the truth.
You can guess where this is going.
So to go back to the VERY beginning of this post, both Pocket/Good Housekeeping and Forbes failed to do even the most basic of research, taking the wild claim that writing down your budget may increase your income by 10x on good faith and the word of a(n admittedly honest about his shortcomings) software engineer.
Why did I spend 30 minutes to make a tumblr post about this? Mostly to show off how smart I am, but also to remind folks of just how flimsy any claim on the internet can be. Click those links, follow those sources, and when the sources stop linking, ask why.
#long post#side note- this is one of the reasons i dont cover shit i dont like in my video essays. yall havent seen me angry.
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the curve
somehow ive found myself in a position where folks come to chuck in times of strife for encouragement. lets get the big part of this conversation out of the way LOVE IS STILL REAL and that is the thing to remember. that north star remains. today there is more to talk about though
existence pushes towards love community and freedom, because CREATION is what we were built to do and creation thrives with these things as fuel. IT GETS BETTER. LOVE IS REAL. however this change comes in up and down waves. its not a straight line and should not be expected to be
some of these waves are short and small, and some of the slopes are years or decades long. there is no mincing words here, we are entering a massive downward wave. the implications are huge and it is okay to mourn that. FEEL THOSE FEELINGS. it is an important part of the ride
the most telling sign post on our slope is this: tromp won the popular vote (or likely will when the votes are done). we can talk POLITICAL STRATEGY all day about electoral college or who should court the center or the left and on and on but ultimately THIS is the real story
to me it signals a TRUE cultural shift. likely conservatives will have presidency, senate, house, and supreme court. WHAT A GIANT SLOPE. HOLD THE HECK ON because we will be riding it for a while, deep into the pit of the void. hold your buds tight, prove love at the local level
but heres the thing, MASSIVE waves have happened before. theyll happen again. mind numbing slopes into the abyss and great soaring leaps into the sky. in fact the inertia almost ALWAYS causes them to happen right after each other. hippies or punks back in the day, buckaroos now
politically we were trapped in a basically fifty fifty trot for a long time, but it was not always like this (just look at old election maps what the heck). to be honest, tromps map looks like one of those old maps right now. and DANG did COUNTER MOVEMENTS blooms from those times
in other words, THERE WILL BE A COUNTER CULTURE MOVEMENT THAT WE HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE IN OUR LIFETIMES. you are now a rebel for the resistance and the wave that will swing back towards love will awe us in ways we cannot even imagine yet.
but for now, feel those feelings, mourn, prove love, stay safe. do not let the hope i am espousing feel like a distraction from the very real, even deadly consequences of the terrible pit we are plummeting into. it is a horrible day, and FUTURE HOPE does not diminish that, BUT
get ready because that counter culture wave is coming and YOU are a part of it. if you want to shout HECK OFF DEVILS then shout it LOUD, if you want to cry then cry HARD, if you want to love then love with your WHOLE HEART. thats the start of the movement that we dont know yet
when that movement takes shape we will feel the inertia of the curve and it may make us sick from the rollercoaster turn, and that pressure will be uncomfortable and scary, but THEN buckaroo, we will soar, and ill be so dang glad to be holding on tight with you when we do
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