#i am so far from having consistent internet connection where i am

[dogin8]

Wilbur Soot has obviously read the Callmecarson handbook on how to handle being outed as an awful individual

[smilestrawbunny]

Hey! Just a heads up, I'm sending this to multiple people, since I wanna get as many different viewpoints on this as I can. I hope this doesn't bother you. Also, this is pretty long.

So, I have a question about gamedev, but more on the marketing/presence side.

Most gamedevs I know, even hobbyist ones, keep their accounts relatively professional. Sure, they may shitpost here and there, but it's mostly in relation to their games, the gamedev sphere in general, or very general inoffensive stuff. And, most importantly, I've seldom seen my favorite gamedevs (or any of my favorite internet personalities, for that matter) comment on random videos unrelated to what type of content they usually post.

All of my social media accounts are quite unprofessional. I've also had them for a long time, so there are a few things on my digital footprint that I'd rather people not see. I also, for lack of a better way of explaining, watch and read random shit and like to leave comments on it sometimes.

I feel like, I were to become a gamedev, I wouldn't be able to do that anymore. I'd have to treat my internet presence as its own balancing act, rather than a place for me to express myself unabashedly. I know this is working under the assumption that I would get big and that people would give a damn about me, but there is always the off chance of that happening. Of a random game you make suddenly blowing up because it hit the algorithm just right. So it's better to be prepared. And even if I don't get that big boom in popularity, I still plan to at least make games consistently enough to build a community of their own. Nothing like, huge, but I really enjoy the idea of people enjoying my work and sharing that enjoyment with others. But I don't want that to cross over into my personal life!

I know that's not an impossible feat, but I feel like it kind of destroys the purpose of the internet for me. To me, it's always been a safe space where I could express myself and easily connect with people with similar viewpoints, but I am now coming to odds with this concept as I consider how I want to become a gamedev.

There's also the side note that I don't wanna rebrand. At least not completely. I don't mind cleaning up my accounts or deleting some old ones, but I've grown very attached to being "Quamai". I can't imagine myself having any other online identity, even if there are some cringy moments attached to it.

So, do you have any advice for my situation? How did you personally go about your own online image, and what do you think is the best course of action?

Thank you in advance!

Oh, I am such a funny person to come to about this- I never let being a game dev stop me from interacting with works I like, haha! Maybe that’s just because I’m a smaller creator, though. Just recently I posted death note fan art, I’m currently working up the courage to post about fandom related ocs, and I’m hosting a game jam encouraging fan works that might be considered “cringy.”

The people who like you and your work will still be there regardless. You can count on that as a fact! So why should you stop yourself from having fun?

Life is far too short to be worried about your public image to such a high degree. Like you said, these are already things that you actively do to express yourself and enjoy! So if it gives you any semblance of comfort, I’ll start doing even more “unprofessional” things to help you out there <3 /pos

[munchenc]

19.12.2024 // Imperfect Self Healing.

It turns out that it does not matter what happens. It does not matter how much I fear things one day then decide to proceed with my fears. I will always fall back into expressing my worries and deficits somewhere. A person or on the internet. It's something I've long accepted to accept even though I am innately very afraid of social media. This will happen again, I know it. I will delete everything and hide from the screens for months. But in the end, I am a person that cannot physically handle being in a high-pressurised enviroment. Eventually some of that fuse needs to be let out. I want to connect with others who gone through the same.

Lately I have been feeling absolutely no resentment or anger. I am clear-headed with no source of fire to spark my wick. It's a good thing, genuinely. It makes sense considering that I have been left to myself for a while. But even when I have been left to myself, I would usually still feel scared and resentful. More fear than anger however. With anger there's not always a source in front of you. But fear is lingering. At least for me. There are many things I derive fear from.

As the next year comes, I plan on being myself again. Now, what does this actually mean? I don't know either. It's simply me imitating a phrase I see a lot. 'I will become myself again'. I feel there is still not a depth of thought behind this saying somehow (at least thoughts that are mine). What I do know is what I plan to do. I plan to do what I want to do and not do them because I want to either (1) spite somebody or (2) because I fear something. I will learn new things and carry on with life. Anything that I will do it will no longer be because I feel a grudge or that I am scared.

I have realised as I write all of this down that it is far more difficult than I had thought to truly express what I wanted to express. No, what I said above, as I read back on it now, is not what I wanted to say. Or at least not the greater picture or even the theme of what I wanted to say. There's another core idea I wanted to focus on, but it is so hard to express. So I will try and rid myself of fears and write it down regardless.

I think one of the reasons why it is so hard to express myself sometimes because I do not know where to start. I feel as if one cause is unexplainable without the other. Let me try and talk about the overarching theme. First, I was treated badly my entire life, physical and emotional abuse alike. There also had been far too many events that caused me great neurosis. I had no real, consistent (keyword) caretaker or person to fall into for comfort. So how do I cope when there was no stability of comfort? I become defencive and fearful. But at best I was a very amateur fighter with the moral compass of an inexperience bloat rather than a sociopath. Thus for my teenage years I find I have been fuelled with rage and fear. This had no doubt even shaped my personality. I feel as if I had been a very immorally bad person for a long time (and it's true no matter how I put it). But I had became a 'bad person' because I tried to protect myself. There came a time that 'self' stopped being self-preservative and had began to become emotional and egotistical and I began to take it out on my relationships. It's a fear of abandoment, a fear of not being believed, a fear of being hurt again. I know this fear of abandoment so well. I lived my life with a gigantic piece gone (that piece being comfort and love) and out of nowhere I recieve that piece. Then I notice that piece is a bit wiggling, on the verge of falling. But I am a horrible carpenter who never was taught how to fix these pieces back together, so I react urgently and stupidly. Which causes great harm and stifle in my relationships.

As I explain all of my thoughts, I refuse to ever look at them as excuses. I acted amateurishly in which resulted in harm. I will never, never, never will ever in my life think to consider that my wrongdoings can be readily dismissed simply because I have been harmed myself. I was a equivalent to a child who did not recieve as many gifts, is hurt and deeply soured by it that they go on to snatch from other kids. The kid being an amateur in quantaties and evalutating what 'he deserves', that he ends up stealing more than he needs, and hurting more than he should. It is a foolish solution that never ends this cycle of selfishness and revenge.

What I shall try and do from now on is to continue being 'left to myself' or 'try to be myself'. I will find pleasures and joys in my interests and develop a new Personhood. I will learn to be kinder, more expressive - as if there is 'more' to my expressions. I think the best phrase here to imitate is to 'be left alone.' Not in a sense that I want nobody or that I must be isolated. I mean in terms of psychologically. It that makes sense.

[trayoftrinkets]

I think it is about time I sell my soul to Brothers Without A Tomorrow because I really do not know how else to thank them for consistently putting out such amazing works— yes, I finally caught up with Dear Zero and am currently experiencing the worst existential crisis of the year so far.

Like I want to throw myself off a cliff so bad because how can something so perfect just exist? It should be kept in a temple and worshipped because oh. my. fucking. god.

The concept? Mindblowing.

The worldbuilding? Jawdropping.

The story so far? Impeccable.

The characters? My new obsession.

The art? Should be worshipped by all of humanity for all the years to come.

I'm happy that this precious piece of media is my introduction to guideverse, a genre that I've been meaning to explore for quite sometime now but did not know from where to begin. But now that I've gotten a taste of this hidden fruit, I think I will be digging through the darkest corners of the internet to find more. But before all that, let's go back to bwat because this is a bwat appreciation post and I need to yap about them.

To say that I'm obsessed with their writing and their art would be an understatement. I will forever be grateful to the stars that allowed me to be alive at the same time as this person and I'm not even being dramatic, I really do owe them my life.

I was first introduced to their works by my best friend, who had asked me to read Taming the Tiger. And when I tell you I felt my world shift.. l mean it in the way that I finally unlocked a door that would let me experience some of the strongest feelings I've ever felt while engaging with any form of media. Like, you know I absolutely love pretty art and amazing stories, right?

So when the two blended in such a seamless way that ticked every one of my boxes, how can you expect me to not vibrate at the frequency of light and erupt into flames? I MEAN LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT THEM.

Not to mention how some of the illustrations reminded me so much of ranwan. You know it's serious when my brain connects something to ranwan. I really was fighting for my life out here. And those side stories? Oh, I was sobbing into my pillow, alright.

A few months later, after I was finally able to take in all of Taming the Tiger, I decided it was time to read Miscreants and Mayhem. It was a spur of the moment kind of decision, but oh boy did it spur me to jump off the nearest cliff because Juicy. Fucking. Citrus.

Pleek do mind the tags on this one if you haven't read it yet and/or are planning on reading.

It was a total surprise. In all sense of the word. If you've known me long enough, you know I am always on the hunt for stories with subversive tropes, morally grey black characters and, well, downright the most problematic shit you could imagine. And this manhwa managed to tick some of those boxes. I did have an issue with some stuff but in the grand scheme of things, it was all fine.

I started Smyrna and Capri quite recently (well, almost three months ago but I've been busy so I'm still stuck in the 40s). I was not expecting to like it but to my surprise, it quickly became a favourite.

Absolutely love the chibis in this one, and the little spirits. Oh, they bring me so much joy. I also like the humour and the awkwardness. Got me giggling, kicking my feet in the air. And I kinda dig the whole concept here even if I'm not that into mpreg stuff (buzzer goes wee woo wee woo, lights turn red, a voice speaks into the mic: that is incorr—), so yeah, I hope I can pick it back up and get back to reading soon!

Another work of theirs I've been eyeing to read is Blood Link. It looks tempting, I'll be starting it once I'm done with Smyrna and Capri.

Now, all that being said, some of the main reasons why I love Brothers Without A Tomorrow is not just because of the writing and the art, not just because of the multilayered stories and complex characters, but also because of how they break the established norm in BL Manhwas. Dark skinned characters and masculine bottoms? I will be at the scene of crime!

(pc: pinterest)

[lazylogic]

TL;DR: I’ve let my online art presence and the internet as a whole become so weighty to me that I’m constantly having a meltdown over how the internet has changed and how I present myself online, so I’m cutting myself off from being an artist on the internet, because it seems like the only healthy option for me right now.

I think I need to stop posting online entirely. As drastic and melodramatic as that sounds, I’m spending time on an internet that I hate, wishing for an internet that no longer exists. I’ve repeatedly ~taken breaks from social media to try and detox~, and it does help in the short term, but eventually I just fall back into my “existential art crisis” and become anxious, stressed, and frustrated again, hating myself and hating every choice I’ve made up to this point. I’m happy when I draw at my own pace, but I’m quickly overwhelmed by the “I’m not posting enough so people won’t like me anymore” anxiety I get.

I know I’m like, the only one who feels this way, the only one who cares this much and takes art this seriously that I’ve let it crush me so much. For some reason my art and my ability to draw is so deeply ingrained in my identity and sense of self, and it’s become so monumentally important to me that it’s worn me down this much. But I know I’m not the only artist online who feels pressure to perform every day, who compares themself to others, who feels burnt out every month, and who is constantly fighting with the evolving technology and society that seems to be consistently designed to screw us. I know many have been able to adapt, and have done it smoothly, and I commend them and am incredibly happy for them. I’m proud to have happy and well-adjusted art peers! I can’t do that. I want to put in the effort to adapt, I have to many ideas to share and stories to tell, but I’m just…spent. Every time I try, it takes up all of my very limited energy, and I’m back to hibernation mode again. I am tired. I’m too small, sensitive and self-conscious to simply keep trucking along. My fragility makes every effort so painful. I really cannot do this anymore.

Posting my art online used to be fun. I loved connecting with people over fan art, OCs, gushing with other artists about each other’s creations, and getting love and support from people who found enjoyment in it. I used to get kind asks on Tumblr just complimenting my art or encouraging me when I posted a vent piece. Tumblr especially used to be my chill place. Most of those people, along with that happy and peaceful environment, are gone now. Old Tumblr is dead, old DeviantArt is gone, I feel detached from FA more than I ever have. Everything feels scattered and divided, and people are so jaded, which I really can’t blame anyone for. No matter where I go, I don’t feel like I belong anywhere anymore, and I don’t really want to be anywhere, either. I feel like I don’t even fit in with my own demographic, no matter what I try. I can’t emphasize enough that I’m trying to post for and enjoy an internet and online community that no longer exists. It’s my own fault for living in the past. Everything is far too fleeting now, engagement is king and constant streams of new content, as well as outrage, equals that. Everyone else seems to be able to change so readily with it, and I’m still stuck figuring things out from five years ago. I can’t seem to recognize or understand anyone anymore, either. I can’t keep up, and I don’t want to try to anymore.

I think what I wanted the most for my art was for it to resonate with people. It’s always been my favorite thing to do for fun, and it always made me so happy knowing my art made someone’s day better, even if it was just Hattie being silly or cute fan art. The idea that I could make someone breathe easier because I drew something soft and comforting is incredibly meaningful to me. But my art was always a powerful emotional outlet for me, too. I know my vent art would often dip into edgy territory, especially in my teenage years, and I withdrew from drawing vent art as a whole because I became too self-aware of it and I felt too exposed. But it was real, and it came from a real place and real emotions, and that’s still important to me. I feel emotions very strongly. I wanted to say something and be understood. And I guess that’s what I still want? To be understood, like anyone else would want, I guess.

I don’t even know what I want out of posting online anymore, or why I bother to check it. Every bit of engagement I get feels more empty than rewarding, and that discrepancy keeps growing. I hate it, because I know it’s because my brain has been trained to want more. I hate that I need more and more validation that people care about me via my art, because it used to be purely mine. And I want so much for it to just be mine again. It’s really felt like I’ve been drawing for everyone else for such a long time, and I guess that’s also my own fault. I feel trapped here. I really don’t enjoy drawing anymore, and I never get the urge to like I used to, and I cannot express how much that absolutely guts me. I always say social media is what ruined it for me, but I know that my participation in social media was my own choice, so I know I actually ruined it for myself.

I have a lot of work to do. I need to just get better as a person, fix my mental health, gain any semblance of self-worth so that I’m not breaking down every week over my value as an artist being synonymous with my value as a person (before you wonder, I am working with mental health professionals regularly now). I know I complain a LOT about the internet and how it’s changed, but I need to make it very clear that I don’t meant to put the blame solely on all of that for my mental state. I recognize that I just have a lot of issues and I make things harder for myself all the time. I’m chronically living in the past and unhappy with the present, and that’s 100% a me problem. This is the only move I can think of that will allow me to actually focus on getting my shit together; removing the option of being an online artist altogether. I can’t cheat and peek at Twitter and slowly make my way back after three weeks. While I’m at it, I will probably stop posting everywhere else too (not that I was really posting much anyway). I don’t want to say I’m leaving forever but I will say that I want no more expectations, I’m not gonna be posting anymore, basically until further notice. I have to figure my shit out for real. I’m not sure if this will even work, it might just make things worse for me. But I’m just at a loss and I feel like I need to do something. I don’t know if my absence from online art posting will cause me to miraculously enjoy drawing again and a year from now I’ll have a massive backlog to show everyone, I’ll be fixed and happy…I don’t know. I just know this isn’t for me, not right now.

I feel guilty doing this, because I have people who have been following me and supporting me for well over a decade, and I think you guys deserve better than this. It’s a big part of my motivation for doing this to begin with - I’m kind of ashamed to show myself to these awesome people every day, I feel like I owe everyone more than just my gratitude, but I haven’t been able to deliver consistent art or content in years. I feel like I'm letting so many people down every day, and ultimately I feel the same about leaving. But I need to get better first. I think about everyone all the time and feel so lucky and so stupid. I know it’s dramatic, but to everyone, thank you, and I’m sorry.

For anybody going, “it’s not that deep,” I’ve heard that plenty. This post isn’t for you.

I’m not completely disappearing from the internet. If you want to get into contact with me, you can add me on Discord at RealaChao#7312. I will still accept commissions privately for now, so just reach out to me (I’ll update my commissions Carrd site if I decide to close them). I won’t necessarily be deleting my accounts, but I will be logging out of everything at least and disabling notifications, so please don’t message me on Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, or anywhere else expecting a reply. You can also email me at plutoeffoart@gmail.com. Lastly, my main focus these days has been my Neocities, so you’re welcome to check that out (though it's largely a draft right now). It’s not going to be an art site, though, at least not only art. It’s gonna be my quiet home.

I also posted this here. Genuinely, thanks for everything.

[xtrablak674]

DANIELKITTYVIOLETA: This has a filter, right? The glans can't be brown, can it?

trevor-brown-artist: Maybe you're not getting enough brown dick in your diet... #🍆

DANIELKITTYVIOLETA: Skinny, it was an anatomical question, it wasn't for you to send me to have gay sex, clown.

trevor-brown-artist: Its curious how you took the comment. No one inferred anything. You're asking a very race-based question, which if you did interact with more Black people you would understand, and furthermore understand how inappropriate your question was.

I stopped arguing with folks online years ago, I realized you're never going to ever change anyone's mind if they're really set in their ways. It was an exercise in futility, and I was so happy I had finally learned that lesson and stopped getting my blood pressure up over some bullshit argument on some thread on the interwebs.

The ridiculousness of this comment had me in a silly mood, where I decided to actually respond. Maybe this wasn't the wisest choice, and I should have stuck to my policy of non-response, but it is what it is. I stand by what I said there is no inference in my comment at all. You could be a straight jock and have a lot of men of color team mates that you have seen in various states of undress, and you would soon learn that brown skin has various colors and textures depending on where it is on the body and the lighting of the environment.

Usually genitals, nipples, knees, elbows and sometimes knuckles can be darker. Depending on the climate they live in and how much sun exposure they get. The complexion of the face can vary from the rest of the body based on the same things, and then there is the very unique coloring of hands and soles on most people of color, which is still something I don't quite completely understand.

When I first saw the comment I went to his page and reviewed the photos of his genitals which were also not consistently colored, and giggled to myself because uncircumcised penises have different types of colors and textures than circumcised penises and albeit I am queer, I am sure medical professionals know about this also this isn't some huge revelation. Most importantly his comment attempts to "other" brown skin, and positions whyte skin the default. I have no need to participate in my own othering, and I am going to push back on his overt ignorance.

Ergo his question is inappropriate, if he had more Black people in his life and if he took a moment to actually look at them closely he would notice how based on complexion and even age how different their skin is in different areas of the body, and that has nothing to do with whether you're a homosexual or not. That is being a curious human being who hasn't place himself and those who look like him at the center of the universe as far as how human bodies are supposed to look and behave.

His response is also laced with homophobia, whether he is gay or not is irrelevant to his lacking understanding of how brown bodies are or aren't and how light plays across the different areas of the body particularly in photographs. Since I am not other, I feel no responsibility to explain the genetics of brown skin and discuss light theory with someone who is so clearly lacking in his perceptions of the world around him.

The core of my response is humor, nothing else. His response was an attack, it was defensive and it was clearly homo-antagonistic. Its because of these kind of dynamics why I generally don't even as much as respond to comments on anything anymore. Its really not worth it, he's not going to see anything wrong with his question and how it reflects his personal ignorance, how it 'others' me and my body, nor will he recognize my humor, because he doesn't know me, he doesn't know my work and he obviously doesn't know my playful personality.

The sad thing about the internet it was really a wonderful experiment in sociology, its such a shame it was a major failure in making connections between individuals. The fact that studies are showing that people are feeling more and more isolated seems to have a direct correlation to the 'success' of the internet and how pervasive its has become in all of our lives. I wish I had something wise or profound to say about it all, but I don't. I just wish folks had the ability to see the impacts of the thing they say and how they say them, because maybe they would take a moment before responding with the first things that come into their heads.

[Photo by Brown Estate]

[crazyqueengentlemen]

How Buyer A Comparatively Cheap Samsung 1080P Lcd Television

Deciding to buy TV Screen protector for your LCD, LED, or Plasma High Definition TV is a good move. Modern flat panel TVs aren't built like their picture tube ancestors. During the old style tube TVs you basically had to hit it with a sledge hammer for you to interrupt it. Now a small tap with a toy or sippie cup can cost thousands of dollars. There are quite a few different brands available on the internet. How can you make sure an individual might be buying the right one?

No TV dinners. Eating in front of the television the robs someone of their presence of mind, but takes away the pleasure of gnawing. Rather than feeling empowered, you may be found away feeling full in your stomach but empty with your spirit.

You need ensure to getting the type of installation which you deserve. It would be these are of aerial that meets your budget and you needs all at once.

Connecting to the net is made easy through an Ethernet Port or a built-in wireless LAN Adaptor. Once connected you can access smart tv or a connected device via the AllShare DLNA technology. For instance you is likely to stream videos, music and photos from my PC meant for HDTV. USB playback additionally be supported. The BD-D6500 can handle the playback of BD, BD-R, BD-RE, DVD-V, DVD-R, DVD-RW, CD, CD-R, CD-RW, WMA, MP3 and JPEG.

The tube does something else, besides robbing young children of all the activities they will be doing, it makes them fat. TV and food go in conjunction. A little recovery time and a beautiful after school snack are some things. Hours of zoning out eating junk food is quite another. An ever increasing number of our own youth are obese, or just plain off form. I place the blame for this on TV and foods. This does not in order to a child that eats right and stays hectic.

Whichever way you happen to be thinking about television and softlogic tv Shows a true virtually no escaping the reality it is it possible. Why so many individuals are indeed so fascinated from television along with the shows get been on is much beyond some people's comprehension, to be truthful. There are some things that you can indeed get from another source; matter of fact, anything and everything that you can enjoy on TV you can discover elsewhere. Several would decide to get everything may need online for many Click for info reasons.

Glare may appear far more prevalent on LCD televisions since there is a narrower viewing angle then Plasma. Also, because may well lighted from behind, in the bright room, or during the day, you will find that is much darker, and fewer visible then Plasma hdtv.

As a result, it just worked for me personally. In their basic bundle or package, the channel of my interest is included. It's where I'm really a great idea to buy a simple package like no other kinds of. Best of all, the price really affordable for me to yield. The other point that I am about to mention is no other than reception. Simply by TV's reception is unhealthy for the customer to watch, you will be presented a poor rating. Consist of words, the customer will start making frustrated and immediately call your customer support hotline. Automobile important the to have a superior quality cable tv service for your customers. Putting quality over quantity is the foremost thing to do, especially in terms of picking the appropriate bundle or package.

[deiongill]

I couldn’t find the power to focus on the conversation in front of me. My thoughts kept moving from corner to corner of my mind, creating questions that all of a sudden I needed answers to. The what-am-I-doing-all-of-this-for style existentialism started to boil over and spill into wherever my moods are kept and arranged. I got caught in the loop again, and it was dragging me out of the moment. The loop is something that I’m assuming almost all of us have become familiar with in one way or another, especially if you’re a creative person looking to share your work and yourself with the internet. It’s the mental cycle of losing your sense of meaning, just to find it again, just to lose it again, and so on in a matter of minutes or hours. Your work or art goes from being a precious gift to mankind that you’re sure will solve all war and hunger in the world, to an absolute waste of time that no one will ever give a shit about ever. Funny enough, with a few turns around the bend of your own self-talk you manage to find a way to make it make sense again and instill a sense of confidence in what you do and who you are, just for it to spin right back around the block to absolute despair in an almost hilarious fashion. How does this even happen? For me it starts with two words: Vanity Metrics. I’ll spare you the cliches that I’m sure you’ve heard enough of before to know you don’t want to hear about it again, and just give you a raw account of what I experienced and felt today. It was hardly an enjoyable process, and I don’t think I necessarily solved the issue by the end of it either. But I think I spiraled far enough down that rabbit hole to notice some things that I think are out of place in my life. 

Like I said, it started with vanity metrics. The view counts, likes, streams, followers, the good stuff. I guess I should say lack thereof, because the feeling I felt and the thought that came to mind was a dissatisfaction that it seems I’m doing everything I’m doing in a bubble or echo chamber, and have felt that way for a while. Now I know damn well I have no one to blame for that but me, seeing that I’m absolutely terrible at sharing myself and my creations on social media and have only dropped two songs in my new chapter of total artistic freedom (that’s a story for another day in the near future), but I am a human being so I felt what I felt. The feeling was pointlessness. I’ll make my case by asking this question: If everything I’m making and sharing goes unnoticed other than by the people I already know personally, why not just keep it to myself and share it with those people when I see them? Not a very fun question to toy around with in your mind obviously, as that can lead to some pretty dark places when it comes to the idea of pursuing your artistic visions and dreams. But if I’m being completely honest my mind goes there a lot, and I have to do the work each time to crawl my way out.

What came next was the simplification process. I needed my mind to stop spinning out of control, so it was necessary that I simplified what I was feeling into the most straightforward explanation I could present to myself. 

“I feel like I’m not connecting with people.” 

“I feel like I don’t know if this is ever going to go anywhere.” 

“I feel like I’m letting myself down by not being where I want to be.”

There’s a part of me that creeps in around this point that starts to shift the perspective, because it’s almost funny to hear myself say these things when I look at it from a logical point of view. How many songs have you put out again? Only 2? Okay. When was the last time you really put yourself out there consistently? Right. How do you expect to be where you want to be at the beginning of your journey? You need to think clearly Deion. I understand the feelings, given your history and all the work you’ve put in behind the curtain, but showtime is a different type of time. It’s okay to be where you’re at. It’s also okay to feel so complicated about where you’re at. It’s all okay.

That was a beautiful thing that just happened there. I just parented myself. Even while typing that I felt a fatherly presence within my being, correcting my course and nudging me in the right direction. But I need to be honest; that doesn’t solve the problem. It’s just an anxiety reliever. So what’s next? Go deeper. What’s the core problem here? What’s at the center of it all? How do I find the solution in this? I’m going to break down those three feeling sentences from above and put together a puzzle to figure this out in one move. 

“I feel like I’m not connecting with people.” 

“I feel like I don’t know if this is ever going to go anywhere.” 

“I feel like I’m letting myself down by not being where I want to be.”

Connecting with people by going where I want to be.

I don’t know if that conclusion will make as much sense to you reading this as it does to me, but I also have an entire lifetime of experience as Deion to add everything up and know that this is what I’m missing out of life right now and understand how that’s connected to my internet woes.  This is what it boils down to: I’ve grown out of my environment. I don’t feel connected to it anymore. It’s a little abstract and hard to explain from my perspective because I don’t necessarily mean my friends or the people I work with creatively. I guess it’s more about the places I go, the people I come across in passing, the circles and environments I encounter through my creativity and passions… It’s the pockets and corners of the world I connect to. It all feels stale right now. It’s very much time for me to make a change in that, and place myself in a new space where things are fresh, inspiring, and feel like a fit for the person I’ve become. To bring it full circle, I think that’s where I’ll connect more with people, I think that’s where my creativity and career will start to find its way into the world how I’ve wanted it to, and that’s where I’ll find myself in a place I want to be. I think that’s how I’ll learn to solve my vanity metric problem. When my life and what it’s connected to feels far more valuable than social and monetary numbers, I’ll start to forget about them. I’ll find my way out of the loop.

[newmaniawe]

Why does Alexa stop playing music?

There are many reasons which cause Echo and other Alexa devices to stop music in the middle and it can hurt a lot when you are in a full mood and suddenly your favorite song stops playing. Alexa has become a top assistant for doing various things like controlling the weather in the home, opening doors, turning on the TV, playing your favorite tracks on devices like Pandora, Apple Music, and Spotify and Playing your favorite Radio channels on Alexa. Alexa just operates on your single voice command. Just ask Alexa to play anything that you wish and it will immediately play without any further work. But, despite being a top-notch quality product, it can also face some errors and issues which you must need to address. Sometimes, you may face trouble with Alexa performing an action and it can communicate in a way like “I am having trouble understanding right now.” If you are also having trouble with Alexa refusing to move to the next song or cutting the music in the middle or stopping answering your commands, you don’t need to worry. We have analyzed the situation and worked on many such Alexa devices having a similar behavioral issue.

When Does Alexa Turn Off Music Because of Inactivity?

Alexa has been a smart assistant. It can turn off the music if it feels that there is no activity(listening) to be performed by anyone. It can turn off the music after 2-3 hours of consistent no activity. Alexa has smart power sensors which optimize to reduce electricity consumption and save power consumed by the Echo device. Amazon also pays streamers to stream music that the listeners enjoy through its music platform supported by Alexa.

If there is no one in the room listening to the music then there is no question to pay for the music playing in the empty room because Amazon has to pay for streamers. So, this is one of the reasons which can cause Alexa to stop playing music. Recommendation: Alexa Won’t Play Spotify

Why Does My Alexa Stop Playing After One Song?

There are some situations where Alexa does not play the next song and stops performing any further activity. There are many reasons which cause your Echo device to stop playing music. - There may not be a proper internet connection causing connectivity issues. - Echo’s firmware may not be updated which is creating issues. - Check if Echo is water damaged which has created some unknown faults. You must ensure that there is a proper internet connection provided to Echo. If your device is a little far away from the router, you must bring it close enough and check whether the issue has been resolved or not. Echo (4th Gen) premium sound, smart home hub, and Alexa Buy at Amazon

7 Steps to Keep Alexa From Stopping Music Playback

- Restart Amazon Echo - Check Music Subscription - Check Echo settings - Check for Updates - Check internet connection - Check your default music provider - Turn off Alexa Loop Mode - Turn Off Explicit Filter 1. Restart Amazon Echo There may arise multiple issues in tech devices that appear to be from unknown resources. But, it is always better to restart your Amazon Echo to resolve any error. You can first remove the power cable of the Echo and cut power and shut it down for a few seconds. Then, you can restart the device and hopefully, it will resolve the problem. Now, check if Alexa is functioning properly.

2. Check Music Subscription If you are using Echo and play songs directly from Amazon Music or Amazon Prime, you must check for your subscription. If your Alexa stops playing music, it may be due to the inactive subscription of your Amazon Prime. You can check your subscription from your Amazon account. - Just log in to your Amazon account. - Click on your name appearing in the top corner. - Check for the active subscription there. - If there is an inactive subscription, you need to renew it. 3. Check Echo settings To make the Echo work smoothly, you need to set the same location on your Echo device and Amazon. If they are set in different locations, Alexa will not work properly. You can set and change your Amazon location with the following steps. 1. First of all, go to your Amazon account. 2. Choose Content and Devices and put in your login details. 3. Go to Preference. 4. Head over to Country/Region. 5. Click on Change and set your location there. 6. Now, click on update and set the location. You have to set the same location on Echo as well. Now, when both are set in the same location, Alexa will be able to perform successfully. 4. Check for Updates You must check your Alexa software from the store. It may have gone outdated which is all causing the issues. You can check for Alexa updates if there is an update available, you need to do it immediately and check after it. I hope that updating the firmware will resolve the problem. Outdated software may harm your device or catch viruses from the internet resources which ultimately damages the device. So, make sure that you keep your Alexa updated. Learn About: Alexa Blue Light Spinning 5. Check internet connection You might have gotten into trouble with a faulty internet connection. Sometimes, the devices are not performing well or even not working at all which may be due to the unstable or no internet connection. Please, check your wi-fi router and make sure that it is working properly. If the router is unable to provide you with the internet, you must wait for it to get fine or you can also restart your router to make it work.

6. Check your default music provider

If you have multiple subscriptions with different Music platforms like Spotify, Pandora, etc, you must check that the music provider is set as the same as you are connecting your Echo with. If you have made a different Music provider other than the one to which you want to connect your Echo device, you may end up playing nothing that is a technical error. To make your Amazon Prime your default music provider, follow the steps below. - Open your Alexa app and click on the Three dots in the upper right corner of the app. - Select settings and chose Music. - Now select Default Services and choose Amazon Music.

7. Turn off Alexa Loop Mode

If your Alexa is stuck at one track only, you can command Alexa to turn off loop mode. Just say, ‘Alexa loop mode off’, or ‘Alexa stop.’ You can now try playing different songs and check whether it moves automatically to another song or not. Echo Dot (3rd Gen, 2018 release) Features: Smart speaker with Alexa - Charcoal Buy at Amazon

8. Turn Off Explicit Filter

Amazon has also provided the feature to turn off the music where there is an explicit song. This may be the reason why Alexa stops playing music. You can check this option and turn off the explicit filter to play seamlessly. To turn off the explicit filter, follow the steps below. - First of all, open the Alexa app and click on Three dots. - Now, click on settings and then select Music. - Disable explicit filter here finally. If none of the above-given methods has worked for you and you are stuck at the same issue, you can try a hard reset which will surely work for you. Open the Alexa app on your device and tap on the navigation button which you can find at the bottom of the display. Tap the Echo device and gear icon on the upper corner of the app. Now, you have to scroll down and select ‘Factory Reset.’ Now, you will be registering as a new user and your data will be removed. Conclusion Alexa may stop playing music in various scenarios which can be corrected by implementing some fixes which have worked for me and for many users successfully. You can restart your Echo device which is the most basic fix and resolves the problems generally. You can also try rebooting your Alexa device or your wi-fi router. If the problem still lies, you can hard reset your device which you must try at the very end. I hope that your issue has been resolved and if you have any comments, don’t hesitate to comment below. People Also Ask How do I get Alexa to continue to play music? First of all, say Alexa "Pause", then give her the command, "Alexa resume music here" to the device you want the previous playing music to move to. Can you leave Alexa playing music all day? Alexa does not stop fully and automatically. Just the playing music gets stopped by your command or you can also set a sleep timer. Just say, "Alexa, set a sleep timer for 30 minutes." About This Blog Website

Founder of Smarthome Hut Hi, This is Hamza and founder of smarthomehut.com. I have a special interest in Alexa products and I have used multiple automated gadgets in my home and with almost every version of the Echo and Rumbas especially. Now, I write detailed information on every issue and every feature of Alexa, Echo, and other smart and automated gadgets and also review them according to my use and personal utility experience. Read the full article

[hemspblogs]

Healing at Inscape Recovery

I was once in a rehab in California where a counselor -- speaking about the tranquility of our surroundings and the friendly people within -- remarked, “If you’re not happy here, I suggest you take a good long look in the mirror because you’re not gonna find a nicer place than this.” Well, great! I was still miserable.

When deciding on a name for our program, we chose “Inscape” because it describes a person’s internality, or “inner landscape.” What we foster at Inscape Recovery is a deep exploration of that landscape aimed at inner transformation. This seems like the essential point because, while healing from addiction and emotional distress can be assisted by things like body therapies, lifestyle changes, nutrition and, yes, a serene and supportive environment, ultimately any groundbreaking change entails an internal shift in feeling and perspective.

Until this takes place, it doesn’t seem to matter where you are, what you’re doing or whom you’re surrounded by -- the same dominant feelings that drive your life, if not scrupulously addressed, will surface with a vengeance again and again.

ADDICTION IS A SYMPTOM

This is not a new concept, of course. Addiction has long been recognized, by most thoughtful people at least, as merely a symptom of deeper issues. We appear to develop addictions not because we are by nature obsessed with drugs, internet or shopping, but because such things come to seem like the easiest, best (maybe only) way to adjust an internal sense of discontentment or discomfort. At Inscape, we view all emotional healing in this same context: problems such as depression and anxiety, like addiction, are fed by patterns of being that may be temporary coping mechanisms, but which keep us stuck in the same boring states of mind. Creating an internal shift requires uprooting these patterns, little by little, diving at the truth that’s underneath them, and connecting better with who we are when our obsessions aren’t dictating our view of reality.

TAPESTRY OF HEALTHY THINGS

This is not an easy thing to do, of course. I am a former heroin addict who has been doing this work of self-overhaul for three years, and I still sometimes feel the pull of my addictive impulses like an undertow. Despite this, I’ve created a tapestry of healthy things around my addiction that makes my life enjoyable. I have a good social network, I spend a lot of time outdoors and I have a consistent spiritual practice -- something that has not only helped me feel calmer but also, based on how I’ve developed so far, gives me hope of continued progress around my emotions, thoughts and ability to navigate my life in a sensible way. I also have the privilege of a fun job that involves working with people like myself -- people with drug addictions and other seekers who arrive here because, on some level, they feel inspired to try another way. Finally, I continue to do occasional medicine work, a practice that helps me to clarify areas of uncertainty and get a reset to fundamental internal states of curiosity, intentionality and peace.

ALTERNATIVE REHAB

At our alternative rehab, we offer a rich menu of activities to help people see a horizon much broader than any single addiction, compulsion or obsession. This involves physical healing (through diet, exercise and supplementation), psychotherapy, medicine work, classes in things like yoga, horticulture, music and exploring addiction, and the presence of a thereapeutic community that includes the Inscape staff, its participants and, frequently, the surrounding community of Malinalco.

LEARN TO THRIVE

By the time participants are halfway through their program, we are accustomed to seeing an inner change where feelings of vitality, hope and inspiration replace the doldrums. Participants come to feel different -- about their own potential, about the world, about the possibilities out there for living a rich and fulfilling life. They feel the possibility of not just getting by, but thriving.

This is a change that the environment at Inscape helps foster, but which ultimately comes to grow inside the individual -- becoming something they can carry with them, regardless of where in the world they might find themselves. Afterall, wherever you go, there you are.

Source link : https://inscaperecovery.com/blog/2021/8/9/healing-at-inscape-recovery

[ibelieveinme23]

Experience: 7#

Beginning Mantra: Universe, whether today or tomorrow, a month or a year, lustrum(5yr) or a decade, my experiences will appear and occur. Let it be so, that I am manifesting experiences with genuine heart and excitement. Time is on my side. As the world is shaped to work out for me, exactly how I want it to be for me.

Scene:

I take a deep breath and upload my first video. I decided not to check my phone for the next hr or so. When I do, I am not disappointed that I haven't had any views or comments. It's all in the name and game. I lay out a plan for what my next video concepts should be and get excited when I have a layout.

For the next 2 weeks, I post a video, and the anxiety I had disoperates as I connect with the few followers I have gained. I have been posting more content and have had more people interact with my page lately.

By the end of the 2nd month, I have gained a little over 1k followers, which I am excited about. I have started posting more content and gained a relationship with my followers. I started a few series, which has gained a lot of attraction. A few of my videos have gone viral which is 50k+ in views.

As I reached the end of my 5th month, my following account has jumped to 15.8k followers. I have begun posting 2-3 times now and have really begun a small circle of follower fans that I interact with now on a day to day basis on my videos. I have gotten more comfortable posting content and have enjoyed the interactions I have had. I get a few hate comments here and there, but they roll off my back like water.

By the end of my 7th month, I am up to 30k followers, I am so happy at how many people I am reaching and engaging with. I have gotten more comfortable interacting with people and even more so posting online.

As the end of the year creeps up, and it being my 11th month posting, my follower count has risen to 90.7k. I am so happy at how far I have come and how much of a small community I have established on this side of the internet. I have made a great following, where we have supported each other. Most of my following are the she's, they's, and gays. I am looking forward to the next progressions for the upcoming year.

Ending Mantra: Universe, I am so excited that I am experiencing this. It was literally everything I imagined and dreamed it would be. It was so fun! It always turns out better than I expect, like why am I always this lucky! Every scene, scenario, and situation works out in my favor. I just adore at how everything happened exactly how I dreamed it would. I am such a powerful manifestor. I am doing so well in life, look at me go! I love who I am becoming, what I am experiencing and who I am experiences it with. I am consistently loved, cherished, and romanced. And, I know that literally nothing can separate me from my desires because I already have them all.

Manifestation Experiences Challenge

Rules: You write a scenario/scene/experience/event that you want to manifest into your life, reality, now.

Remember: To make it fun, and that it's only as true as believe it to be.

Let's have fun and change our life!

[urbancripple]

How do you balance recognizing that all disabled ppl need support with the fact that you feel left out of disabled spaces? It feels like a lot of the disabled community/groups/etc have become primarily people (if I'm being real, white women mostly) with chronic pain/fatigue, and while I think those ppl are valid and deserve support it can be hard to be left behind in a space that used to have more people like me. Especially considering I'm not even someone who can't work, I have a relatively normal life as far as crip stuff goes, like I've got a regular job and shit I'm just very visibly disabled while doing it. It really feels like the conversation around disability has started to revolve around white women with chronic pain/invisible disability that disrupts the ability to work, which totally is not at all what I'm handling, as someone who needs to (and enjoys) working and is not white nor a woman.

Like I am very glad that those people get support and visibility etc now. I just hate being left in the dust again, first by abled society and then by what used to be my community.

Hi reader who is most likely not the OP! This is going to be a #longpost. If you don't have the time to read the whole thing before responding and instead plan on letting your eyes dance around the text looking for key phrases to misinterpret, please fuck off.

For the rest of you, welcome and enjoy.

"How do you balance recognizing that all disabled ppl need support with the fact that you feel left out of disabled spaces?"

I don't. I can't, really.

I see a lot of the same problems that you mention in your question. A _lot_ of the disabled community in online spaces consists of white, fem-presenting folks talking about ill-defined, often invisible chronic conditions and advocating for better treatment.

To echo your point: this in and of itself is not a bad thing. Folks who fit into this demographic need better representation and help. But it feels like discussion of disability (especially in online spaces) is largely focused on and driven by this demographic. And for folks outside that demographic, it can feel isolating.

I feel isolated by the current discourse around disability. I feel like I cannot connect with the _vast_ majority of people who identify as disabled online. And it's not _just_ because the average internet user is getting younger.

What it means to be disabled has drastically changed in the last decade or so.

I once attended an award show where someone, upon receiving their award, ran up a flight of stairs onto the stage and proceeded to speak about how important the award was to them as a creative, a woman, and a disabled person.

She was talking about her depression.

As a full-blown cripply-ass human being, I struggle to accept or reconcile my very public, very obvious, very unavoidable physical condition with what that person said on stage vs how they literally got on stage.

Am I being a dick? Do I need to do some self reflection? Are my feelings based on a subconscious aversion to change?

Maybe.

On the other hand, these same conferences hold panels on "disability and representation in media" and then refuse to invite (and accommodate) a single wheelchair user. Instead choosing to fill the panel with folks struggling with "invisible disabilities" and/or mental illness. Why? Because folks with very visible disabilities (especially wheelchair users) are often the most complicated and expensive to accommodate (special transportation, flight arrangements, hotels rooms, bathrooms, service animals, etc.,)

It's frankly cheaper and easier to focus on disabilities that leave you access to four limbs and five senses than it is to make sure the folks on your panel represent the as many different disabilities as possible.

Am I saying that other disabilities are invalid? NO. Absolutely not. Get your hands off that fuckin' keyboard and finish reading this before you send an angry note.

Does it make me feel isolated from a community that I used to be very much a part of? Yes.

Does it make it difficult find, much less reach out to and help other wheelchair users? Yes.

Does it make it more difficult to share my experiences as a disabled person online? Yes.

Does it make it harder to try and raise the bar for disabled people in terms of fighting for a better quality of life? Absolutely. Especially when talking about how "living an independent life" means "having a job" and "taking responsibility for your physical well being"

It is incredibly lonely being a visibly disabled person who works full time, pays their bills, cooks, cleans, volunteers, and has a healthy marriage. Because of how disability is discussed online, I don't get to see disabled people _like me_. I don't feel comfortable talking about my experiences as a disabled person online because I know I'll get shouted down and told I don't belong because I'm not actively struggling to work or pay bills or whatever.

It sucks. It hurts. And I'm sorry I don't have a better answer for you. If it makes you feel any better, you're more than welcome to talk to me directly about work or whatever. I'd be happy to be that person that you're struggling to find right now. Heaven knows we could all use a little bit of Community right now.

[desolationlesbian]

There's a dichotomy I struggle to articulate and might not actually exist, but feels like it exists, between like..."the internet of real life" and "the internet that is mostly disinterested in real life." There is a half of the internet where the default is to post under your real name and photo, and mainly about things like news, politics, your job, your family, etc. There is a different half of the internet who use pseudonyms and rarely if ever talk about any of those things, instead focusing in on hobbies and entertainment and art. Maybe "real life" is not a good word, since hobbies and entertainment are certainly things that are part of your real life, and I am sure there are a lot of blurred lines and crossover here. It just seems to me that "journalist whose internet use consists of using twitter under her byline and posting personal essays and quips" and "guy whose internet use consists of anonymously posting about building model airplanes with fellow enthusiasts on a model airplane forum, without telling those people anything else about him as a human" are using the internet in a distinctly different way that will shape very different relationships with it.

I say this because as a person whose internet use primarily consists of the latter, hearing people from the former group talk universally about the deleterious effects of social media sometimes sounds like it's coming from a space alien. Like, I saw this article in The Atlantic this morning, whose thesis appears to be that the earliest internet social spaces were for managing and deepening relationships you already had in real life, and the reason Facebook and Twitter got out of control is because they became public spaces where your posts are seen not by friends and family but thousands of strangers.

That just...isn't true! It's objectively false! It's so obviously false that I'm shocked it was published. The earliest internet social spaces were forums, IRC channels, and chatrooms, all of which had the key features of interacting pseudo-anonymously with people you have never met before in real life and almost certainly never would, and who you wouldn't realize was that person even if you did meet them on the street. In many ways connecting with strangers was the whole point of the old internet. People have been connecting online with far-afield weirdos since the internet existed. That is not the problem that plagues facebook, twitter, or instagram, or if it is it's not a new one.

If anything, the problem with sites like facebook and twitter seem to be that they want to be everything to everyone at all times forever and immediately connected to your identifiable real-life life.

All of the sites I tend to associate with relatively "healthier" internet use--forums, tumblr, discord--seem to share two key features:

No expectation of the use of any real-life identifiable characteristics

Rather than a universal town square, there is a division into smaller, focused, easier-to-moderate communities based on niche areas of interest (forums in general, sideblogs, servers) where groups of users police themselves via distributed moderation powers among them or small-community social norms

These features seem to be noticeably absent from, or at least not encouraged in the same way, from the big "internet of real life" sites. This is because the way they make money--eating your attention and selling personalized ad data--are fundamentally opposed to both those features. They don't want to be the place where people who like model airplanes go to talk about building model airplanes and then leave; they want to be your everything, and for everyone. They do not want you to be anonymous because they cannot sell your data if they do not know who you are. There are exceptions to this--Facebook as community moderated groups, Twitter doesn't force you to be identifiable--but this seems to be the general trend. The specific form of mental everything-all-the-time exhaustion and misery, impossible-to-moderate nightmares, and paranoia and alienation resulting from the commodification of ourselves as personal brands that we now associate with social media use, all seem to be downstream of this.

That is not to say that the older, unreal-life version of engaging with the internet is always healthy, and doesn't have its own problems. It does however feel sustainable, and way less exhausting, and like it has the potential for a healthy relationship with it, in a way that the big sites currently don't. Yet if you asked the big pundit-y class about How We Fix Social Media, it seems to me that they are unaware this method even exists! I think that is sad, and concerning for the future of the net.

[nat-20s]

Part 5 of Wonderful! Au. *boyband voice* banter’s back alright!

Also on AO3

~*~

Jon: Hello everyone, and welcome back to our regular format. If my husband being horribly soppy-

Martin:-hey!-

Jon: -turned you off the how, this should be a refreshing return to formula, though I can’t guarantee there won’t be further horrible soppiness-

Martin, performatively under his breath: -most people thought it was charming-

Jon: -as that tends to happen when one is recording with the love of their life. If last week’s episode is the only one that you like, too bad, I’m back in full form, and should be at least through the rest of the season.

Martin: This show doesn’t have seasons? Due to the whole lack of a narrative thing?

Jon: I was referring to spring.

Martin: Oh, right.

[A beat passes.]

Martin, flatly: Oh. Great goof hon.

Jon, smug: Thank you.

Jon, sincere: Also, before we get properly started, I did want to actually thank everyone who sent well wishes.

M artin: Yes! We got positively inundated with lovely messages, it definitely brightened both of our days. I would even say it was wonderful.

[Jon groans.]

Jon: I am..not proud of the energy we’ve created for this episode so far, and we haven’t even hit the small wonders. Speaking of, do you have a small wonder this week?

Martin: Mine’s bad action movies.

Jon: Really? I had no idea you even liked them, let alone consider them wonderful.

Martin: Okay, so, saying I like them is a bit of a misnomer? It’s more that I like what they can do more than the movies themselves?

Jon: Elaborate?

Martin: It probably comes as a surprise to no one that I’ve tried my hand at a fair amount of mindfulness and mediation techniques. I’ve found poetry and journaling have been helpful for actually processing life events and whatnot, but when it comes to giving your brain a hard wipe and reset, nothing is half as quick and effective as a shitty shoot-em-up. Somethings about 2 hours of cartoonish, pg-13 violence held together with the absolute loosest of plots brings me to a state of mental blankness that would make a monk jealous.

Jon: How have I never witnessed you doing this? When are you sneaking off to go see Micheal Tarantino or who ever films?

M artin: That’s definitely not the right name.

Jon: Martin, dear, I don’t care. And you’re dodging the question.

Martin, fond: I’m not dodging anything. Since apparently we’re getting into it, you haven’t caught me cavorting with a movie involving more explosions than character development lately because I haven’t been. Haven’t needed it, in recent years. Turns out when you’re not crushingly lonely and working a literal nightmare of job, there’s less of a drive to try and escape your own thoughts. Shocker, I know. Still, to anyone out there that feels like their brain is on fire, go try watching a fast and furious. Any of ‘em, it doesn’t matter. Or even better, Chronicles of Riddick. I can’t remember a single goddamn detail of that movie, which makes it perfect for what I’m talking about.

Jon: I have the strong feeling that th is is a “mileage may vary” scenario.

Martin: Well, yeah, that’s this whole podcast. Plus, I imagine that movies like this would cause more stress to someone who cares about, say, world-building or rules consistency.

Jon: I wonder who you could possibly be referring to.

Martin: It’s a purely hypothetical person, love, don’t worry about it. Any small wonders?

Jon: Yes! Particularly relevant to the last week, my small wonder is stripping the sheets from your bed when it’s been too long between washes.

Martin: How very specific. M ost people would just say ‘clean sheets’.

Jon: Well, for one, I’m fairly certain that we’ve already covered clean sheets-

Martin: Shit, have we? Thank god other people keep track of this, otherwise this show would be unbearably repetitive.

Jon: Christ, yes. I typically check the website a good three times while prepping, and every about one out of those three times I find I’m trying to do an topic we did 30 episodes again. Anyway, um, it’s just nice, I think. When you’ve been too busy or sick or away for awhile, tossing the sheets in the wash makes a room instantly seem nicer. Of all the chores out there, this one, at least for me, has the highest reward to effort ratio.

Martin: Hard agree. Especially when the y have that slight funk of having been around to long, getting rid of that is such a relief. Speaking of, we need to change our sheets soon.

Jon: We can do it after the episode. Who goes first this week?

Martin: Considering last week was only me talking, I’m gonna say it’s you.

Jon: Alright, then. My first thing this week is Martin K. Blackwood.

Martin: Absolutely not!

Jon: Oh, you can do a whole episode on me, but I can’t do one little segment on my husband, whom I love very dearly?

Martin: Not while I’m sat here, no!

Jon: So you’re saying you don’t want me to tell the internet that your resolve to be kind even in the face of indescribable cruelty is one of the mot breathtaking things I’ve ever witnessed, or how I find it incredibly endearing when you get so emotional that your voice comes out as a squeak, or even that, on a more base level, you’re very physically attractive, and I could lose entire days thinking about your arms alone?

Martin, audibly blushing, voice the aforementioned squeak: Oh my god, Jon!

Jon, laughing: Then it’s probably for the best that my actual first thing is best friends.

Martin, peaking the audio levels: Oh you absolute bastard! Do you enjoy this? Do you get some sort of perverse sense of entertainment from riling me up?

Jon: Oh, don’t you start. As if you’re not as bad as I am. Maybe even worse.

Martin: That’s not…

Jon: Yes?

Martin: Okay. Maybe it’s slightly true. Really, what is romance for if not flustering your partner with compliments?

Jon, teasing: I certainly can’t think of anything.

Martin: Hush, you.

Jon: No, I don’t think I will.

Martin: Fine. I suppose you can tell our delightful audience about the power of friendship or whatever.

Jon: I would’ve assumed more enthusiasm, considering this segment is still, indirectly, about you.

Martin: In what way?

Jon: In the way that, to the shock of all, you’re my best friend.

Martin, pleased: Oh, is that what I am?

Jon, exasperated: Yes, dearest husband, I wouldn’t have married you otherwise. Though, upon reflection, I knew you were my best friend before I knew I held romantic feelings for you.

Martin: When was that?

Jon, letting out a breath that vibrates his lips: God it was...2016? I think it might’ve literally been the day after you told me about your CV.

Martin: That early? Huh. I wonder if that’s what people were picking up when they said they we were close.

Jon: What people?

Martin: I don’t know specifically, that’s just what Daisy told me.

Jon: Daisy? When the hell-?

Martin: It...was when she was interrogating me? And, because sometimes I have to be a parody of myself, pretty much my only take away from that interrogation was “people think me and Jon are close”.

Jon: Well then. It’s not like they were wrong.

Martin, smug: No, no they weren’t.

Martin, sincere: And you’re my best friend, too.

Jon: I was certainly hoping that you’re in this relationship for more than my good looks and incredible fortune, both in the monetary and luck sense.

Martin: You say that as if you aren’t good looking, which we all know is patently untrue.

Jon: You’re biased. You’d say I was good looking if I were nothing more than some primordial ooze with thoughts about its station.

Martin: I’m being completely objective. If you were primordial ooze with thoughts above its station, you’d be the cutest ooze of them all. That’s just scientific fact.

Jon: I’m starting to think we might be insufferable.

Martin: Starting to? Might be?

Jon:…

[Jon clears his throat]

Jon: What I find wonderful about the concept of best friends is, to me, they’re the closest thing real life has to soulmates. I don’t personally believe that there’s some..grand mystic force that drives people to be tied together in the manner that narrative typical soulmates are, and if there was I don’t think it would necessarily be the kind of emotional, heartfelt bond one would hope for, but I do believe that there’s individuals that get to know one another, and because of that knowledge, they chose to stick with one another. It doesn’t have to be a romantic, which is why I say best friend rather than specifically ‘spouse’, but I would argue that the basis of a strong romance like you and I have, is very much rooted in that connection. A true best friendship is an equal partnership, and there’s a sense of..matched sensibilities and understanding that can be utterly incandescent when it happens.

I also think that having one or more best friends makes living life on a day to day basis both better and just flat easier. The dark times aren’t as dark, and the bright times shine even more. I know from my own personal experience there are events that I..that I don’t know how I would’ve made it through without you. Hell, last week my..recovery period would’ve taken much longer if you hadn’t been there.

It’s an amazing thing to have someone to share things with, both triumphs and burdens. Um, also, according to Dictionary.com, the term best friends in English has been around since the 1200s. Something about that delights me, like, yes, we’ve had this casual way of referring to a Favorite Person for roughly 800 years. That makes it a hold-out from early Middle English. I dunno, it’s one of those things that make me feel overall very charmed by humanity.

Martin, audibly smiling: No, yeah, hard agree.

Jon: What’s that look for?

Martin: Nothing. Just. I love you a whole lot, you know that?

Jon, voice soft: I may have heard you say that once or twice. Per hour.

Martin: Only that often? I really need to be more diligent about that.

[There’s a bet of silence, presumably where they’re making doe eyes at each other.]

Jon: What’s your first thing?

Martin: Oh, um, right. Rats!

Jon: The expression or the animal?

Martin: Jon, have you ever once heard me say “rats” as an expression? Obviously I’m referring to the animal.

Jon: Ah. Should’ve known, considering that what, a third?, of all your segments have been on animals.

Martin: Yeah? And? You got a problem with critters? With creatures? With lil guys?

Jon, laughing: No, no, it’s very sweet. I’m just surprised you never became a vet.

Martin: Oh believe me, I wanted to. But then I learned that it was not, in fact, a job composed entirely of getting paid to play with other people’s pets.

Jon: You had that job, though, didn’t you? I thought I remembered you mentioning a month long stint at a doggie day care.

Martin, sighing dreamily: Best job I ever had. Too bad that place was shut down after it was revealed to be a money laundering front.

Jon: Good lord.

Jon: Martin did you...did you know it was a money laundering front at the time?

Martin:

Martin: Would it make you feel better if I said no?

Jon: Martin!

Martin: I figured it out like a week in, but, like, who cares? The pay was decent and the floor was super easy to clean, which is very much a plus for even a front of a doggie day care.

Jon: That’s...rather a lot. How about instead of getting into that any further, you tell me about rodents.

Martin: I would love to. But first, we have a shoutout!

Jon: Ooo, a shoutout. Does it specify who should read?

Martin: Let me check. It...does...not…..

...

Jon: Martin?

[A beat.]

Martin: Right! Sorry, um. This week’s shoutout is from Tim, to Danny. It says, “Danny! My favorite person who shares genetic material with me! I wanted to say thank you for your podcast obsession from 4 months ago, and specifically for telling me about these marrieds. They’ve gotten me through many a dull hour at the publishing house. Also, with this shoutout, I’ve officially gotten ahead on the Superior [Last Name Redacted] Brother scoreboard, so suck it. Love you lots, and looking forward to your visit next month, Tim.”

Jon: Oh.

Jon: Um. That’s very..sweet? I think? Mostly?

Martin: Yeah, I’d say so. Uh. We have to take a quick break because, uh, someone is..at our front door! Be back with you all in, from your side of things, just a moment.

[iwishicanbeagoodpianist]

the Wifilcon and the Winter Router

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC/Reader Summary: When Bucky learns that his neighbor has been stealing his wifi for months. Warnings: None A/N: I'm not a fanfic writer at all, this, like all my stories, are adaptations to fanfics. My original stories are not written in english, so this is also a translation. please do not repost my work

For an instant, Bucky thought that the knocking he was hearing was coming directly from his head, I mean, it wouldn't be the first time his mind played tricks on him, but he realized that the sound was actually coming, unluckily for him, from his apartment door. Oh no no no no no no no, I just got back from putting up with Sam for almost 6 full weeks, I don't need interaction with more people for now.

Bucky thought for a minute to ignore the sound, to wait for the person to give up and leave, anyway he didn't spend many days on this apartment, almost no one had seen him leave or enter the building and he had no contact with the neighbors, only with the lady on the 7th floor who once lost one of her cats, which ended up in Bucky's apartment, accidentally. Not that I found the cat in the alley and actually brought him to my apartment, it doesn't mean that I stole the cat, he was in the street by himself, I rescued him.

When the banging on the door stopped and Bucky thought he could breathe calmly again, a voice between altered and annoyed was heard all the way to the living room where he was sitting trying to overcome his third panic attack and fourth existential crisis of the day .

-"I know you're in there! I saw you coming in a few hours ago! I've been waiting for days for you to come back!"-

More out of instinct than anything else, Bucky pulled out the knife hidden in his right boot as he slowly backed away from the door. Do I really have a spy as a neighbor? Should I call Sam? Is he in danger too? Never mind now, you need an escape route Bucky, concentrate, third floor, window to the alley, 2 minutes max, the bike is parked far away, I'll have to run, but to where, rendezvous point, safe place, think....

- "for God's sake, open the door, I need you to pay for your fucking internet plan, I'm in the last season of my series and I need to know if Carolina died or not!"-

- "The internet?"- Between the andrenaline from escaping and the shock of not understanding what was happening Bucky spoke louder than an assassin, with over 60 years of experience, should have spoken. Oh, shoot.

-"Yes! Your wifi, I need it to finish watching my series"-

Whispering "wifi" to himself, Bucky tries to remember where he has heard that word before, this is what I get for never listening to Sam when he talks to me. But before he can continue his mental analysis of all the conversations with Sam about such stupid things as his favorite American Football team, the New Orleans Saints, that I remember, to how Antonio could possibly leave María on the last episode of the 6 o'clock telenovela of which Sam is a fan, his apparent "neighbor" spoke up again:

-"Jesus Christ, can you open the door? So we can resolve this like adults"-

Bucky resigned to the fact that he has given his position to the "enemy", walks to the door and opens it waiting for his death. Well at least if I die I won't have to listen to Sam again talking about Antonio and María. But on the other side of the door, there was a woman, who in her pajamas, very unthreatening but cute, was watching him as if he were a ghost but still with defiance in her eyes, in one breath she introduced herself and continued her speech about her complaint to Bucky:

-"As I was saying, I need you to pay for your internet"-

-"I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I understand what you mean"- mumbled Bucky.

- "Good Lord"- To Bucky's surprise his neighbor, pushes him and enters his home, well not so much a home home, more like the headquarters of his secret club, of which he is the president, vice president and only member, the point is that it is his place, where he can (and wants to be alone), as she lives here. This must be a dream, maybe I hit my head too hard in the last mission and I am unconscious in the hospital.

Crossing the room, Bucky's unwanted visitor looks around searching for something while whispering the words "I see you are quite minimalist, but maybe this is too much, someone urgently needs to look for some inspiration on Pinterest". She stops abruptly in front of the shelf where, in theory, a TV should go, while shouting: "EUREKA", she bends down and picks up a white device which has two antennas and like a million little blinking lights, damn, that looks like something out of a spaceship, I'm being watched by aliens? I'm being spied on by Kree?

-"This is your router, this is where the internet signal comes from, which I need you to pay for so I can finish watching my series"-.

Bucky, still in shock for the third time in less than 15 minutes, as he processes the idea that perhaps Thanos' unknowing twin is spying on him for a second invasion of earth and revenge for his brother's death. He can only nod to his now more relaxed and happy neighbor.

-"Perfect, thanks! I need to check the food I left in the oven, I'll talk to you later"- and as quickly as she came she left through the same door, leaving Bucky with more doubts than answers, peeking down the hallway, he realizes that she is the neighbor who lives next door, to his right. When Bucky comes out of his initial stupor, still not fully understanding what is going on, he decides to take his cell phone out of his pocket and call his own personal Google to solve his doubts about this century: Sam Wilson.

-"Hey Buck! What's up?"-how does he always manage to sound so happy? focus Buck.

-"What the hell is a router and why do I have one in my house?"- somehow Bucky manages to formulate, although maybe his voice cracked a little on the last words.

-"That thing's been there for at least two months and you didn't even notice it? Have you even paid the bill?"-

-"You put this in here? Without telling me????"- maybe Sam is also a Kree? Who can I trust now? It's all a trap?

Listening to Bucky's accelerated breathing, Sam tries to explain to him slowly, that in this century life without internet is not life, but obviously as Bucky does not even know how to set the alarm on his own cell phone, he was in charge of buying the router and creating the contract with the company so that, the 106 year old man could have his personal network at home. He had given it the name but he had not given it a password so that Bucky himself could set it up later. "I am an excellent friend, I mean co-worker, if I may say so"

-"Sorry man, after all that happened, we got called for a mission and I forgot to tell you, do you have your laptop over there? I'll help you set up a password, so your neighbors won't steal your internet anymore"- and with that comment everything started to make sense in Bucky's slightly screwed up but functional mind about the events with his seemingly non-spy and harmless neighbor.

Meanwhile Bucky was trying to remember his own password to unlock the laptop in front of him, also courtesy of Sam. "Bucky, when you learn about online banking and that you can pay your rent, electricity, phone and everything with a click of your computer, you will thank me". It should be noted that Bucky hasn't used that laptop once, like a good 100 year old grandpa he goes to the bank to make his deposits and pay his debts, which obviously consisted only of electricity, water, gas and phone because the man had no idea that there was a device in his house that spit out internet, apparently only his next door neighbor knew this. Buck tells Sam how he thought his router was an alien device and how he thought his neighbor was a KGB agent coming to kill him. "Relax Buck we all have undesirable neighbors that steal our internet signal sometimes", well undesirable is not the word I would use to describe her but ok.

When Sam finally explains to him how to connect his computer to the internet, Bucky can finally see the name that his wonderful co-worker, not friend, because he could never be friends with someone so stupid as to think that the name "THE WIFILCON AND THE WINTER ROUTER" was a good name.

- "my god Sam, you're such an asshole!"-

-"HEY! That's a great name!"- Sam responds with as much indignation as possible, he's the best at naming everything from dogs to wifis.

- "I can't believe you're Captain America, I can't believe we're even friends"- Bucky really can't understand his luck to have friends, well, co-workers whatever.

- "Well excuse me but we're co-workers..."-

- "Well, take this call as my formal resignation, bye"-

-"Wait a minute Buck..."- Bucky ended the call, to finish -his self-imposed- punishment of listening to Sam Wilson talk for over an hour. At least I asked him how to use the bank's website to pay for the internet. Suddenly, without warning and without explanation, the memory of his neighbor is lodged in his head, her hair in a ponytail, her reading glasses, pink shorts, her sweater from some university of which he can't even remember the name because he was watching out for other things... that she wouldn't kill me obviously, he was watching out that she wouldn't pull a knife out of her back and kill me right there. The message on his laptop indicating that he can now set a new name and password to his wifi distracts him enough to stop thinking about his sweet and cute non-spy neighbor and how she would look with her hair down and her glasses off.

Still with the sweet feeling in his chest and the desire to see her again he writes as the new name of the wifi, while laughing:

"If you want free internet, you owe me at least one free dinner"

After paying the internet debt and closing the laptop, Bucky gets up hoping to find something edible in the kitchen, while leaning over to look inside his fridge and analyzing how bad it would be to eat a fried egg with pasta and sriracha, he hears again a knock on the door, but this time it does not cause Bucky the anguish and anxiety that caused him the first time, but quite the opposite.

-"Open the door Winter Router! I prepared chicken pot pie for dinner"-.

[cosmiclatte28]

Casual Intimacy (Mark Lee x you)

a/n : it’s my soft hours I guess? I made this sweet Mark Lee imagine (well for me this is sweet. I want a boy like this... if you’re that kind of man dm me 😜)

fluff, no warning, no suggestive content but kisses, and just Mark being a wonderful man for you. 

Happy Imagining Mark Lee as your s/o! 

People often ask you how you can hold on to your “plain” relationship with your current boyfriend. You seriously do not like them bothering you about your relationship life, but you need to deal with it considering the fact that the man you are dating is the famous Mark Lee of NCT.

He is dorky in camera, and in real life too. You pray day and night to the angels to make sure Mark is not tripping on some random stone or bump a pole. Guess your prayer works, when you see Mark always smiling in front of the camera coping up and working so hard with his endless job.

You yourself work in a famous two Michelin restaurant in Seoul. You’re not going to lie, you met Mark lee on your duty. NCT was holding their debut birthday and you were appointed as the chef to cook for their meal that night. Apparently, Mark Lee was super fascinated by your dish and he requested you to come greet the team when your job in the kitchen is done. Your head cook lets you leave your station once desert is prepared and the plates coming into the washing room is clean.

That was five years ago, Mark Lee got love struck by your simple but attractive persona. His eyes couldn’t leave you as you answer their questions on the dishes and you congratulating them. They’re glad when they learn that you listened to their songs and followed their schedules, just that you don’t have much time to be like the other wonderful fans.

Mark Lee looked so intrigued on you and as you bow to them bidding goodbye, he just returned from the restroom. With his long legs trying to catch his other brothers, Mark happened to slip his number on a piece of tissue paper to your pocket and gave you a genuine smile plus a “thank you”.

You earned a good pay that night and even better, Mark Lee’s number.

Well, he isn’t your bias but come on who doesn’t have Mark Lee in their bias list? Want it or not, conscious or not, Mark Lee is always in the list. So, that night when you finish showering and eating a light midnight snack, you gave the number a shot.

You thought your message will never be replied, maybe Mark will have his phone in silent and only opened up messages from his contact list. You’re lucky when your notification bleeped and from that night both of you learn more about each other.

He kept your number under your name, plain business people say, you also thought maybe he wanted to call you for another dinner party. But the chats he had been sending was far from platonic business. It involves jokes, puns, memories of living in Canada (well you graduated from University of Toronto, but cooking is your passion), and even deeper like late night talks.

The relationship got deeper when Mark Lee called you one night, asking if he can meet you in the restaurant. He said he needed a good meal to write a song he was assigned for. You found no correlation between a good meal and writing a song, but believe it or not, Mark Lee came with one  of the hottest selling song that month. Earning him a title of “King of Lyrics”

Since then, he called you again and again when he didn’t have the idea to write. You finally invited him over to your house when you got closer. Mark got to eat in your small dining table with a simple dish that was made with love and care that Mark said tasted better than any other dishes he ever had.

You laughed saying he is exaggerating, but Mark never exaggerates when he is with you.

“Be my girlfriend will you?” he one night asked after you teach him how to cook a proper egg. Despite him succeeding the challenge back in 2020, he still needs practice. He succeeded cooking eggs after knowing you for more than a year.

“Suddenly Mark? After you can make a perfect runny egg?” you giggle but nevertheless nodded your head.

His smile that night was even brighter than when he received any awards and praises. His eyes spark joys and emotions uncaptured by cameras. The world never knows how Mark’s true happy face looks like, but if his world is you, then the world knows!

For the first two year of dating, both of you are keeping it low. Dates happen in your house (your wage is enough to buy you a house). You always cook him foods, tried new dishes to him, earned a lot of complains on how the food is not “suitable for Korean tongue” which you always shrug off because he himself is a mix.

But thanks to his constant brave inputs, your dishes are perfectly blended and well known. News media and TV shows started to cast you in their weekend shows. You were offered a contract of a cooking show in a known broadcasting company.

Mark told you to go for it. He knew how happy you are about cooking, and his faith told him “if that is what was given for you, go for it.”

He was right. The internet loves you, they love your simple but tasty dishes. Your show was ranked the hottest that month, famous for helping college student eat a more delicious food.

NCT even did a special relay cam for it, each group were doing a challenge on following your recipes.

Mark was caught off guard on that live shooting day. His team consisted of him, Ten and Johnny.

And you may guess, things went wrong but in a chaotic fun way. When the three of them are together, they just speak in English and forgot all of the filters they should have.

Mark spilled his relationship when he accidentally said out loud “Of course I know how to do that, my girl has been teaching me that.” Mark boasted when Ten asked if Mark could make the egg benedict for their dish.

Johnny and Ten froze on screen, well the NCT members knew your relationship with Mark but they kept quiet. Mark realized what he has said was recorded and forever lives in the web. The comment section went wild and the fans are thrilled about the “mysterious girlfriend Mark has”.

He eventually spilled the truth on a press conference. You were there beside him when he faced the board director and when he sit in front of different mics and cameras flashes. No one knows but throughout the time, when your heart is beating faster than when you took your SAT and final tests, Mark Lee held on to your hand whenever you are answering a question directed to you.

The magazines are taking the favor of the rising topic, inviting you and Mark to take a photoshoot. When you were insecure about taking a picture with him (who has did countless shoots), he squeezed your arm when walking past you and gave a small proud smile as he went to change clothes while you start your personal shoot. No one saw that, but his quick reassuring squeeze boosted your confidence that day and the couple shoot was very nice! You could print that as your wedding pictures!

When the internet goes wild when they connect the theories and Instagram posts Mark and you both made (fans are the best in deciphering codes!), you now walk through the streets crowded by fans. All asking how is it like to date Mark, but not few also told you to screw off. One day when you both are going back to Canada for a winter break, the fans are crowding the way. You gulped when you have to walk pass them, but Mark looked so used to it. He just chuckled and landed a small hand on the back of your waist. With the manager hyung and bodyguard pushing to make way, you made it through the crowd with confident steps.

On the Christmas dinner, Mark was invited to your family dinner and vice versa. You had to attend their family lunch and to say you were nervous was an understatement.

“Mark, what if they don’t like me?” you asked on your bus ride to his house from the airport.

Mark laughed, he always laughed as his first respond, “Baby, it’s going to be okay. Trust me.”

You snorted, “You calling me baby is already suspicious, for three years we dated you “dude” me 70% of the time, “baby” was only like 10%”

He did the math, “Then what’s the remaining 20?%”

“You just call me “Bro” for the res of them.” You squeezed his cheek and planted a kiss there.

“I like it though, not too cheesy.”

He grew red. “Gosh I am having the Jaehyun syndrome. Why are my ears burning?!”

He was not 100% wrong, his parents were nice they grew fond of you especially when you helped his mother prepared lunch. Well you both arrived earlier and you decided to give a hand for the busy mom.

Mark sat next to you on dinner and when you were diving into a yummy Christmas pudding, his parents began asking you the “platonic questions asked to your partner”.

You almost chocked on your pudding when they asked “Are you seeing a future with Mark? Can you make our son happy and us too?”

You were not ready, you expected questions like where you work or where you live. They said “We can find all that answers in the internet, but not the answer to our question.”

Mark’s gentle kick from under the table by your side made you looked at him and he gave you that sincere smile only you have the privilege to see. He nodded slightly and shot his eyebrow to his parents side “Answer them… I am also curious of the answer.”

You grew red, it wasn’t the drink or anything, but his parent’s happy and relieved face when you nod your head and said “I am seeing a future with him, if I get both of your blessing.”

They love you and Mark was right. That night, you invited his family to join your dinner instead. The same question was asked from your parents to Mark and Mark was more than ready to marry you.

But your wedding bells did not chime that fast. He has his career and so do you, both of you just keep the stable relationship going on. Together facing the problems and obstacles in your relationship. Fights occur, bickering occur, threads of breaking up also happened once or twice… but both of you used that to build a stronger bond.

You always melt when Mark came home from a long day. After he showered and savored his dinner, he always ended up leaning on your shoulder in the big snuggle sofa both of you never regret buying. His head on your shoulder, his hand scribbling words to a paper and you whispering ideas to him which brought a big smile to his face.

Writing lyrics has been even easier for Mark, he blended your frustration with his, splattered some love words, and voila a masterpiece! People said his lyrics were relatable and both of you always keep it to yourself that “those happened in our life, no wonder it looked real.”

He always kissed you gently on your lips, tasting the faint cherry flavour of your lip balm. Mark’s lips tasted of medical lip balm, but you love it nonetheless.

You blinked and realized the flashing cameras in front of you. Oh right, someone from the hot magazine company is asking you a question.

‘Can you please repeat your question?” you asked politely to the lady holding out a mic.

She quickly nodded, “A lot of fans are wondering If you are still in a relationship with Mark. Mark was busy for the last months with projects and comebacks. And the interaction update from both of you are little to none. Fans suspected you were over with him, considering that Mark looked like he is the “plain” type in a relationship.”

You pressed a smile, hiding your urge to laugh out loud. Weren’t the fans always picturing Mark as their dream boyfriend? Why did they judge him as the plain boring type then?

You clear your throat and while looking through the crowds, you spot Mark Lee seated in the crowd with a mask and a hat, giving you a nod, and you turned your mic on.

“We’re still going strong; well I think love is not the type of grand gestures or explosive displays.” You started off and caught everyone’s attention.

“It’s made up of little things,” you felt your heart clench upon remembering all the small affections Mark always did to you. “It’s the little things Mark Lee did that say he is here, and he cared for me and that my life has intertwined so deeply into his that there was no need to think.” You take a pause to look at the audience.

Everyone looked impressed, but amongst them you catch one pair of gleaming proud eyes, the pair of eyes you’ve been waking up to for the last years, and the one you want to wake up to in the future years.

“It’s Mark’s casual intimacy that made us both stay strong and stronger.”

Applaud was heard through the room, you were holding your press conference because you were retreating from all the cooking shows and rumor has it you are going to marry Mark.

“Please pray for both of us, as we will be tying our bonds soon.” You leave the room after a bow and the man with mask and hat is already waiting for you outside the big crowded function hall.

His hand naturally makes its way to your waist and you never felt more sure to step into life with this man you love, Mark Lee.

“That was wonderful (y/n)~”

You smile, he did not dude you nor bro you nor baby you. “I love you Mark Lee,”

He leaned in for a peck behind the tinted black van window, “I love you most (y/n) Lee,” he winked and you rubbed your cheeks “Guess I have the Jaehyun syndrome now! Also I like it when you call me with that name.”

He quirked his eyebrow and smirked, “Don’t worry, you’ll be hearing that soon for the rest of your life.” He reached for your hand and kissed the knuckles.

“I met you thanks to your amazing handy work in cooking unforgettable dish.”

You rolled your eyes, “You were so amazed on my egg benedict Mark! How is that an unforgettable dish?”

He shrugged his shoulder, “I don’t know, something about you, cooking, and love made me this love struck and awfully amazed by simple things you did.”

the end

thanks for reading, put in comments for I’d love to interact with you on the story plot .. rant to me what you hate or like idc :D i want to talk with my readers! to thank you all for reading and spending some time here

omg i didn’t know if I made the right choice of making Mark Lee as this character, but I want it to be him.. I’ve been writing a lot of Jaehyun and Yuta fic and I guess Mark can be a refresher. Please let me know if someone else suits this better!