#i am screeeeeech

[catinyourroom]

She is so me, I'm feeling so much like her rn, I'm going to scream and cry

[discountalien-pancake]

Somewhere in me there is a rant about how people bemoaning the use of social cues as “refusing to communicate” are just. Petulant. You complain about people relying on social cues not “using their words” but have you ever in fact informed them explicitly that you cannot pick up on social cues? Or asked them to clarify a cue?

People who use social cues had to learn how to use them and fun fact! Loads of them are neurodivergent just like you! They are communicating but in a nonverbal language and it is not them being an asshole. They do not and cannot know you don’t understand them if you don’t fucking tell them that.

Communication is a two-way street.

[bromanceandships]

[blorbocedes]

let me take you guys on a journey. one that will help you understand how annoyingly obsessive and hung up my brain can get......

so here is where our wild goose chase starts. I was going through a 2012 f1 blog's nico tag. it's actually pretty rare for early 2010s blogs to have comprehensive tagging systems so whenever I find one I try to go thru it all. and I come across this v cute nico image (cropped for posterity. payoff will be worth it promise)

here we have a picture, from 2012, and in classic 2012 fashion there is meme text on it. OP of the original pic deactivated. so I want to find the version without the meme text. pretty easy, just reverse google search right?

WRONG!

google reverse search is functionally dead and defunct and absolutely dogshit.

ok back to square one. I'm trying to sus out from whatever information I have.

the other meme watermark of f1humour.tumblr.com? deactivated.

okay 37 notes. maybe I can do something with this.

tumblr kind of breaks (?) with very old posts. so even if someone tagged it, I can't see it. ok but 14 people liked it!

of the 14 accounts only 7 actually show, including mine. so what I do is I go through 6 of those blogs, and their public archives because those accounts are all inactive for several YEARS now. and I check their blogs for April 2012.

no luck.

back to the drawing board.

the meme has a MOTORSPORT.COM watermark.

here's all the information I have: this was posted on April 24th, 2012, which means that's my upper limit on the date this could be taken. Nico got in Mercedes in 2010. So from anywhere between 2010-2012 motorsport images couldve taken this pic.

so, because I was born with excessive intelligence, I think hmmm... let me search the archives of Motorsport Images dot com. surely that is where Motorsport dot com would keep their Images.

two years of a racing driver's pictures means thousands of pictures. okay. let's start from April 2012. unfortch for keen eyed listening, April 2012 was also the Chinese Grand Prix aka Nico's first f1 win.

why is that relevant? because it means every photographer and their MOTHER took a picture of nico for his first win. over 900+ images.

while I am exhibiting extremely unemployed levels of behavior here, I don't actually have the time and brain capacity to sift through 900 images.

I go back to the original tumblr post. this time I go to the empty reblogs. there's lots!

but because there's no tags it can't help me. still I go through every one of them because you can see the blog I found the pic from @the-fastest-waffle is listed in the other reblogs even though they clearly had tags!

and I find my silver lining. from @fuckyeahf1drivers's tags

just this simple. #bahrain #lol

if this picture is from bahrain 2012 it changes everything, as in it narrows my search a shit tonne.

375 images. This means 1-15 pages and I know the exact picture I'm looking for. I feel like I'm SO close. I can't give up now. gambler mentality 💎

so I guess what. I go through all 15 goddamn pages. and I DONT FIND IT!!!!!!!!! SCREEEEEECH

now I've lost hope. if it's not from bahrain 2012 then it can be from anywhere from 2010-2012 taken by motorsport.com which is just too big a search. there isn't anything I can narrow it down with. my search is futile.

but I have one tiny little thought bugging my mind. how come motorsport images don't have the motorsport.com watermark... so I consult a fellow archivist @vegasgrandprix on the matter.

WE AS A SOCIETY NEED TO ADDRESS WHY MOTORSPORT.COM AND MOTORSPORT IMAGES.COM HAVE THE SAME FONT

finally. finally

I go on motorsport.com

which is actually kind of not super user friendly interface finding their pics if you have excessive intelligence like I do. I go into this knowing if the bahrain 2012 long shot is actually NOT when that picture is from, I'm fucked.

I filter and say a prayer.

and lo and behold.

salvation.

one person's singular tag of 'bahrain 2012 lol' led me down this spiral, where if it wasn't for that bit of information this would be lost forever because finding the version of the pic without the meme text is otherwise near impossible. google reverse search is no help, and f1 drivers simply get photographed way too much. reblogs + tags with context literally are a holy grail. this is what I imagine archaeologists feel like. so if you ever want someone 12 years after you've posted something to go down finding out, tag your posts accordingly (assuming tumblr survives the next decade)

so why did I do it? why did I spend hours of my life on this? cause it's fun. it's like a mystery and it itches at my skin. many times I'm not successful which is why the times I am feels so rewarding because it feels almost like detective work, finding and refinding something, overturning evidence. and I have a brain that just functions Like This.

and now for the fruit of my labour, if you guys still want to see. the picture I spent hours to find the original version of. sitting proudly at the time of posting at 9 notes 😌😌 here's what goes behind actually finding and archiving 2010s retired f1 drivers online. click below!

👇👇👇

👆👆👆

[tigerlyla-of-metinna]

Emhyr Wintering With The Witchers Pt 5

Parts 1, 2, 3 and 4

The next day...

*Sounds of footsteps on stone*

Emhyr: Are we culling more monsters again, Geralt?"

Ciri: Sorry to disappoint you, father.

Emhyr: Cirilla!

Ciri: I heard from Geralt how you dealt with the harpies and the necrophages. I wish to see you in action for myself. So I will be your companion today.

Emhyr: Not disappointed, daughter. But are you sure? The mountains are dangerous-

Ciri: Stop treating me like a child! I am a witcher! I grew up here, trained here, and slain more monsters as much as you've taken human lives!

Emhyr: Cirilla-

Ciri: Ugh! Enough! We are to get rid of the basilisk roosting not far from here. The wyverns are bad enough, but a basilisk near its territory will drive away the wildlife and we will have to hunt deeper into the mountains. Let's go!

Emhyr: Lead the way, daughter.

Later...

Ciri: There! Get behind me father! This beast is more dangerous than it looks.

Emhyr: We will manage. Both of us!

Eskel: Ciri, how did the hunt go? Any difficulties dealing with the basilisk?

Ciri:...

Emhyr:...

Basilisk: SCREEEEEECH!!!!

Ciri: FATHER!!! GET OFF HIM YOU FILTHY BEAST!

Emhyr:...................

Ciri: We did quick work of that giant turkey, didn't we father?

-to be continued!

Photos provided by @eycsnow666, KM pics from my PS4 gameplay, and all photoshop edits and captions by me.

[prism-empurress]

Siffrin goes to Day Treatment chapter 2. there's a lot of projection in this to be honest LOL

Why wasn't Mirabelle here? On the bus with him? The bus was noisy, old, and the roads were riddled with potholes. Every so often there was a hideous screech and bump that nearly took Siffrin out of his seat. Josephine grimaced.

"Sorry, the roads are bad. Just…hang in there."

Siffrin covered his ears tightly, gritting his teeth, closing his eye as shut as possible.

Please be over. Please be over. Please be over.

Next time, he'd be riding with five other people. Were they going to be loud and talkative? Siffrin's stomach screamed imagining it. Hastily, they ran their fingers over and over the inside of their plaid coat. Siffrin took some slow breaths in and out, trying not to yelp when yet another bump was hit.

Siffrin watched the buildings pass by in the bus. A shop, a laundromat, a gas station…

Another bump. They anchored themself to their seat, fingers gripping the ripped leather tightly.

"We're almost there, Seth."

"Uhm. S--Siffrin." Siffrin grimaced.

"Siffrin. Sorry. Beautiful name."

Siffrin breathed a little easier, releasing his clutch on the seat.

"Thank you."

"Your accent is so pretty, too. Where are you from?"

"…a place."

"Bet you get all sorts of ladies, don't you?"

Siffrin laughed.

"Actually, uhm, I am dating someone. He's…he's a big, buff sweetie."

"Aw, that's sweet!" Josephine giggled. "How long have you two been together?"

"Almost a year." Siffrin smiled. "I want to plan something special."

Josephine nodded.

"Tell you what. I can tell you're really nervous about seeing a bunch of new faces."

Shit. Was he THAT obvious? just now, Siffrin noticed beads of sweat trailing off his forehead.

"When you get to the center, you're just gonna sit in any spot you want. There's couches, a table with four chairs, a rocking chair, there's plenty of room. And when you get seated, the lady in charge will ask you to introduce yourself."

Introduce himself. He fidgeted more with his coat. What if his voice cracked? What if everybody asks him questions?

"And you'll just say your name, and what you like to do."

"…I like woodcarving…but…I can't really…do that there."

"You can still mention it. And a few other things. What're some other things you like?"

"P-puns." He spat out. "Theatre. Acting. I know some stuff about space, too. Uhm."

Siffrin rubbed his arm, praying that nobody would question why he's wearing a turtleneck plus a coat in the warm weather. He was a little warm, but he wasn't about to take his coat off.

"See? That's perfect. You can say that, and you'll feel better after." Josephine nodded.

"What if people ask questions?"

"I'd say answer one or two. Three questions if you're up for it."

Why did this have to be so hard? Couldn't he just put on a facade and act it out? He just wanted to be back in his bed, away from the world.

His bed.

It was so soft, and plush, with so many blankets. It was much better than sleeping up in the trees like he was used to. But he still kept his window wide open at night to feel the breeze and smell the trees. He wasn't used to having an actual home yet.

Siffrin sighed. They wanted to be back in bed SO badly. They were NOT a morning person.

rrrrrrt….screeeeeech…. the bus came to a stop in front of a large, blue building. There was a sign hanging from the door, saying "where hope begins".

The bus door opened slowly and noisily, making Siffrin clutch his head again. Just breathe, just breathe. Now get up from your seat.

They weren't moving.

"It's okay, Siffrin." Josephine said.

"I'm sorry." He spat out. "I just…I'm-- I'm scared. I don't know what to expect."

"I'll go in with you."

"….uhm…do you…know a Mirabelle, by any chance? Super pretty, fluffy cloud hair, always wears a big ribbon?"

"Oh yes, I know her! She isn't here today, she's attending a lecture at one of the Houses."

Siffrin gnawed at his lip. What he would give to just have Mirabelle by his side.

Just get up.

He stiffly got up from his seat, put one leg in front of the other, and exited the bus with great effort. Josephine reached to take his hand, but he shook his head at her.

"Please don't touch me."

"Okay. I won't."

Entering the building with Josephine right behind them, Siffrin took in one last gasp of fresh air.

Six pairs of eyes were on him. One set belonging to the lady in charge, the other five belonging to the clients.

"There's our new guy!" The lady smiled. "Everybody, this is our newest client, Siffrin."

"HiI'mSiffrin." He choked out, waving.

Siffrin was met with a chorus of "Hi Siffrin!" in return.

"Tell us about yourself."

Siffrin was silent for a minute, scanning the room. There were all kinds of activities to do, various mental health awareness posters on the walls, and there was coffee and water to drink.

"Uhm. I like theatre."

"That's pretty cool," The lady said, "Can you act out something for us?"

Siffrin laughed nervously, adjusting his hat.

"Not right now, maybe later."

"Alright, well, everybody, I hope you'll help Siffrin adjust to how we do things here!"

He wanted to vanish. To be anywhere but here. But he promised Mirabelle he'd give this program a try.

For now, he sat at the table with various coloring pages on it. He expected to see simple cartoons, but was surprised to see intricate mandalas instead. A few other pages consisted of flowery fields, a couple were of furnished rooms…

Okay. He could color for a few hours until lunch. But he was expected to socialize as well. But with who?

[blackjackkent]

Sadly I'm going to have to wrap it up here before the final battle, but that will be tomorrow for sure! Good cliffhanger note to leave on for the night, I suppose.

Did a quick run around the Watch Citadel "camp" and talked to all of our assembled friends. Everyone only gets a quick dialogue line but I do love them all. <3

-----

Dammon: "Even I was surprised by how well the owlbear would take to the potions. Just look at it! Glorious little creature. Well, not so little anymore."

Buddy: "Screeeeeech!"

(Buddy has indeed grown and is a BIG OWLBEAR now. My baby all grown up.)

-----

Arabella: "I wouldn't be here without you. It's time I repaid the favor."

-----

Jaheira: "I am the first to speak ill of this city. But I never wished to see it burning like this."

-----

Halsin: "Onwards. There is no reason to linger here."

(So sentimental, Halsin.)

-----

Ravengard: "Have courage, my friend. Your victory is assured."

-----

Valeria: "The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can get a pint. Assuming there's an inn still standing."

(Sound of Hector's eyes rolling all the way out of his head.)

-----

Nine-Fingers: "Come on. Speeches are done - all that's left is the doing."

-----

Aylin: "We face the greatest evil our realm has known - and we do it together. on your word, the sword of Selune will fall upon our foes."

-----

Isobel: "Press on. This will all be over soon. ANd then - my gods, then I"m having something very strong indeed."

(Isobel is great actually. XD )

-----

Volo: "Heroics first, stories later. And in that spirit - after you!"

-----

Florrick: "Today we take back the city!"

-----

Yurgir: "Smells like violence all around. Smoke, blood, tears... this will be a good hunt. Hurry on and start the attack."

-----

Ulma: "We stand ready to help you, as you helped us."

-----

Rolan: "You have the full force of Ramazith's Tower, and its dashing master, at your side, my friend. Let us finish this."

-----

Zevlor: "The survivors of Elturel stand ready for your signal - Hellriders one and all."

-----

And to wrap things up for the night, a few of the more goofy screencaps I got of Hector cheering Jaheira's speech, bc he's so happy to have all his friends around him. <3

[amywritesthings]

For you bestie 😘

SDLFKJASKDLFJALSKDFJDSAF I AM SCREEEEEECHING, CEE!

i am a day late upon seeing this since my partner actually fixed my laptop as my valentine gift (SAY WHAT? I HAVE A WORKING KEYBOARD AND TOUCHPAD AGAIN???) so i was virtually mia yesterday, BUUUUUUT THIS WAS SO WONDERFUL TO WAKE UP TO

god look at him

i love that nasty man LSKDFJLKSDF

[lacuna-lunax]

06/12/23

Screeeeeech. How tf am I supposed to survive this winter? ANOTHER birthday ANOTHER Christmas Day after day of frost in my bones I feel old I feel ill I feel like I’m dying and I can’t won’t don’t ever stop.

Wednesday (1400):

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa White Chocolate Salted Peanut

Maltesers Reindeer Chocolate Christmas Advent Calendar

Monster Energy Ultra

Fridge Raiders Meat-Free Smoky BBQ Tasty Bites

Cherry Yoghurt

Barebells Protein Bar Caramel Cashew

Cadbury Dairy Milk Buttons Twisted Chocolate

Thursday (1400):

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Fudged Up

Maltesers Reindeer Chocolate Christmas Advent Calendar

Monster Energy Ultra Rosa

Fridge Raiders Meat-Free Smoky BBQ Tasty Bites

Peach Passionfruit Yoghurt

Barebells Crispy Nougat Protein Bar

Cadbury Caramilk Buttons Golden Caramel Chocolate

Friday (1400):

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Maltesers Reindeer Chocolate Christmas Advent Calendar

Monster Energy Ultra

Fridge Raiders Meat-Free Smoky BBQ Bites

Cherry Yoghurt

Maxi Nutrition Filled Creamy Core Chocolate Cookie & Milk Protein Bar

Cadbury Bitsa Wispa

Saturday (1400):

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa White Chocolate Cookie

Maltesers Reindeer Chocolate Christmas Advent Calendar

Monster Energy Ultra

Fridge Raiders Meat-Free Smoky BBQ Tasty Bites

Strawberry Cheesecake Yoghurt

Maxi Nutrition Filled Creamy Core Hazelnut Nougat Protein Bar

Cadbury Dairy Milk Caramel Nibbles

Sunday (1400):

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Peanut Nutter

Maltesers Reindeer Chocolate Christmas Advent Calendar

Monster Energy Zero Sugar

Fridge Raiders Meat-Free Slow Roasted Tasty Bites

Raspberry Yoghurt

Battle Bites High Protein Bar Jaffa Bake Flavour

M&M’s Crispy

Monday (1400):

Coffee

Grenade Carb Killa Chocolate Chip Salted Caramel

Maltesers Reindeer Chocolate Christmas Advent Calendar

Monster Energy Ultra Rosa

Fridge Raiders Meat-Free Slow Roasted Tasty Bites

Peach Passionfruit Yoghurt

Barebells Caramel Choco Soft Protein Bar

Cadbury Caramilk Buttons Golden Caramel Chocolate

[rillils]

Hi! That Drunk kiss wass amazing! May i humbly ask for joeandnicky ‘im sorry’ kiss? TIA

Hello my friend! Thank you so much, both for your sweet words and for sending this prompt (#6. "I'm sorry" kiss from this prompt list). Also, shoutout to my wonderful beeb @damnitfili for her major input on the idea behind this ficlet *smooches the beeb's forehead* Here, have 599 words of immortal husbands feels :3

*

If there’s one thing Joe has learned about humanity in all his long years, it’s that mankind has never truly abandoned its quest for immortality. People are so fascinated by the idea of eternity, they have filled most of their stories with it – myths, legends, books, movies, all of them built around the same, arrogant, alluring promise of walking through life with forever in your pocket, and death somebody else’s concern.

They don’t know, they can’t know, that the true measure of eternity lies in this. In watching the life bleed out of Nicky, pooling thick and crimson beneath him, and in crawling over him like the most abject of God’s creatures, waiting, waiting, powerless and spiraling into madness because of it.

“Nicolò, please...”

Eternity is watching as time stretches by endlessly; as two minutes turn into three, and three into four, and the seconds keep trickling by, drip. drip. drip., slow and dark like molasses, and still Nicky won’t wake up.

It’s not knowing if this is it, this is where they run out of luck at last; it’s wondering if tomorrow, and all the tomorrows from here into infinity will look just like this, stilted and wrong with the empty shape of Nicky cut out of them,

until–

– until Nicky is gasping for air, his whole body jolting with the shock of being alive, again, alive.

“Nicky!”

Joe is all over him in a heartbeat, tears blurring his vision as he grasps for Nicky, feels Nicky’s chest stutter with new breath under his hand.

“Joe,” Nicky croaks out, half-blind still and already reaching for him, and before he knows it, Joe is crumpling into him, sobbing as Nicky’s arms come up around him.

“I thought this time, I’d lost you for sure,” he rasps breathlessly, wetting Nicky’s cheeks with his own tears. “I thought, this is it, I’ll never– never see his eyes again, never–”

“Oh Joe, my Joe.” Cool like a balm, Nicky’s touch envelops him, cradling his face as Nicky reaches up to press a kiss to his cheekbone, then his brow. “No, vita mia, no,” he murmurs, brushing one more kiss over Joe’s nose, the corner of his eye, the softness of his beard. “I’m so sorry, so sorry I scared you, so sorry, love.”

He leans up to capture Joe’s lips, and this kiss Joe melts into, with everything he has.

Nicky’s hands are slick with his own blood, but they get warmer, warmer as he holds Joe close, palms the nape of his neck with a gentleness no creature on God’s green earth deserves – and the gentler he is, the harder Joe clutches at him. He grips Nicky’s blood-soaked shirt so tight, heart racing desperately behind his ribs, and Nicky–

Nicky’s here. Nicky’s mouth is salt and iron and honey-sweetness on the flat of Joe’s tongue, and his arms are a cradle, and oh, oh, tenderness was born with him, Joe knows– born with Nicky, for him and for him only.

When they part, Nicky rubs the pad of his thumb over Joe’s cheek, regretful. “I got blood all over you.”

Joe grasps Nicky’s hand gently, dropping a kiss on the soft inside of his wrist. “Leave it.”

Nicky clicks his tongue, but he doesn’t question it. He understands.

When they go, they’ll go together. They’ll be as they have been since the day they found each other, one flesh, one blood, one death between the two of them.

“Yusuf.”

“I know. I love you, too.”

Until then, they’ll walk side by side, and make eternity as sweet as they can.

send me a prompt + ship and I'll write a short ficlet for you!

[inexplicifics]

So now that I've calmed down enough to finish the chapter, here's the rest of my (relatively coherent) thoughts:

- "he’s a little surprised to look down at the burl of wood in his hands and discover it’s a very rough rendition of the Cat medallion" the absolute baby is preparing to propose before he even realizes he's in love with her

- "Does he want to?" YES DEAR YOU DO

- "Fuck, she’s lovely." We have progress!

- “'Want to see me run it again?'” Oh gosh that's so cute he wants to show off I'm dying

- "whirling her about until she squeaks, and pulls her close to kiss her" SCREEEEEECH

- "Oh dear sounds just about right" OH DEAR SOUNDS JUST ABOUT RIGHT INEX

*slightly evil laughter*

Your screams are delightful, my dear, and I am glad you're enjoying the story!

Darling Aiden, he appears to have left the Emotional Intelligence Braincell somewhere else...

[celestialmango]

For owl moon would he be ok with a little harpy chick or fledgling being introduced to his territory now that he has reader? Like a little night hawk or elf owl harpy baby that was rescued, how would he react?

For those species, naughty child.

🐥:peep peep? *translation: who are you?*

🦉🌕:....hoot *translation: Moon*

🐥: peep peep peep? *translation: where am I?*

🦉🌕: hoot hoot. *Translation: my territory*

🐥: (chick eyeing reader who's back is turned and doing something behind Moon) peep, peep peep peep*translation: hungry, I wanna eat that.*

🦉🌕:(turn his head backwards to see what chick wants to eat and only sees reader there, turns his head to see chick trying to approach reader to eat them, opens his wings and flaps the to blow the chick backwards screeching loudly) SHRIEK! *translation:BACK OFF!* (Proceeds to snatch up confused reader and drop reader off in Sun's nest)

☀️:(concerned because Moon looks pissed, looks down at confused reader, ☀️ knows he's the only one to ever take reader to his nest in the non-nocturnal area. So logically something must be in Moon's territory that's a danger to reader, gets concerned it may come into his territory too so noms reader while Moon flies off)

🦉🌕:(back with chick)

🐥: peep peep chirp peep peep? peep peep peep? *translation: why did you steal my food? Why are you mad?*

🦉🌕:....hoot hooooot, screeeeeech, hoot screech screech, SSCCRREEEEEEEEECCHH! (opens wing fully to intimidate) *translation: that's miiiiinne, and if you ever try that again, YOU WON'T LIKE WHAT HAPPENS!*

Basically baby harpies without parents depending on the species tend to think ever smaller being or being just about their size is food to eat and Moon is very serious about his human's safety and rather possessive of things that are 'his' , he'll only ever be willing to share with Sun and in a situation where a chick wants to eat reader, Moon will establish a pecking order.

So as soon as that chick is old enough to be on it's own Moon will try to chase it out of his territory which leads to the younger harpy that wanted to eat reader on first meeting being transferred to a different aviary in another harpy habitat. Harpy chicks and fledglings tend to grow up fast much like regular birds but slow down when they get to a certain age, like ready to leave the nest age.

Now if we are talking a chick that are either night parrots(diet: Grass seeds and herbs) a Kakapo(diet:Seeds, fruits, nuts, berries, and fruit of rimu tree) or a Nightingale(diet:Seeds, nuts, fruits and insects) the situation would be more like

🦉🌕:(staring down baby birb)

🐤:(is scared of big scare owl, gets distracted when they spot reader) ChHiRrrp, chirp chirp?*translation: OoOoOooo, what's that?"(without waiting for Moon to respond basically darts past him and tackles reader)

🦉🌕:(Quickly turns and is about to get aggressive only to stop seeing that the chick is basically doing the same damn thing Sun did when Sun first met reader)

🐤:(is hugging and nuzzling reader) chirp chirp chirp chirp *translation: you're my friend now.*

🦉🌕:......hoot, hoot hoot hoot *translation:......fine, you can stay.* (Proceeds to take both startled baby birb and amused reader to his nest for cuddles)

So basically adoption and when they're the age where they can leave the nest they'll still get to stay in Moon's territory without a fight.

How a harpy chick or similar to these like these tends to react to unfamiliar creatures is harmless curiosity like what's this rather than "is that food?"

Gimme a sec and I'll make a post on how baby birb Sun and Moon react to finding a lost child reader who's been lost for almost a day and the situation that follows way before they were taken to the aviary they now live in.

[amenomiko]

Thank you @amymarple for the request and Thank You so much for liking my writing 🤗🤗🤗😍😍😍❤❤❤! There's no element in your request that makes me uncomfortable so it's okay ✨✨✨. Hope you like this!

First Game - Quiz Game

Team 1 - Masamune, Ranmaru, Yukimura

Team 2 - Sasuke, Nobunaga, Mitsunari

Prize : A photo of MC

❤💖❤💖❤💖❤💖❤💖❤💖❤💖❤

Team 1 be like (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)(✿❛◡❛)ಠ_ಠ

Team 2 be like (´・ｪ・｀)😏(❁´◡`❁)

Yukimura's one and only question before it started be like "Why am I here again?"

But it was ignored.

Then drum roll.... Start!

Question 1: What is the substitute for wine in dish? To the lords and ninjas of Sengoku era, Wine is a type of alcoholic drink in foreign country.

Masamune: Hoooh substitute eh? I'd say sake? Cause it's also an alcoholic drink.

Ranmaru: But didn't you immediately k.o even after a sip? Why would you want to make anything that required alcohol, Masamune-sama?

Masamune:

Yukimura: PFFFFT- ehem.

Mitsunari: Uhm.. Uhm.. I think.. Maybe.. *Butterfly passes by 🦋🦋🦋* Oh OAO. *Distracted*

Nobunaga: That's easy. It will be MC's tears 😏.

MC: (눈‸눈)...

Sasuke: Grape (´・ｪ・｀)✨.

BING! BING! BING! "Sasuke wins! Points goes to Team 2!"

Sasuke: *Dabs*

Question 2: Margaret has 5 childrens. It's Olivia, Johnathan, Liam, Shana, and Who is the youngest.

Them:

Sasuke: Oh. Ooooh. Okay.

Yukimura: What? What?? Who is the youngest? Who?

Masamune: Hoooh.. This is tricky.

Nobunaga: I think it's Mitsunari. Because our Mitsunari is like the youngest who's mind needed to be protected 😏.

Mitsunari: Thank you, My Lord. I'm honored (❁´◡`❁).

Ranmaru: But wow. This Margaret person is a super woman. She have five kids 😲✨✨✨.

Sasuke: The people in this era is really... *sigh* must protecc!

Yukimura: Sasuke, stop talking in your weird language, I bet you already have the answer don't you?

Sasuke: Yes I do.

Yukimura: So who's the youngest?

Sasuke: Yes.

Yukimura: What-

Sasuke: Who is the youngest.

Yukimura: No, I'm asking you ಠ_ಠ.

Sasuke: Yes bro. Who is the youngest.

Yukimura: I SWEAR TO GOD SASUKE WHO IS THE YOUNGEST??

Sasuke: You don't have to swear it like that, bro. Yes. Who is the youngest.

Yukimura: *SCREEEEEECH*

Final question: If a castle is a home, then a bed is a ______.

Masamune: Kitten meowing my name 😏✨✨✨✨

Hideyoshi in the background: *sighhhhh* 😑😑😑😑

Ranmaru: A place to sleep (✿❛◡❛)!

Nobunaga: Place for MC to be ready for my kiss 😏.

Sasuke: ......

Yukimura: A place to sleep obviously. What else it is for 😒?

Sasuke: *Grabs megaphone* VIRGINNNNNNN~~~~~

Yukimura: What?? (　☉д⊙)

Shingen among the crowd: Oh, my Yuki. And here you are, playing the game so you can win over our Goddess (っω；。).

Yukimura: *Misheard* What? You want to bring a horses on your bed??

Meanwhile Mitsunari: *Still distracted with the butterfly 😳🦋✨✨✨

Winner: Team 2. Thanks to Sasuke.

Mitsunari: I don't know what happened but yaaaay (❁´◡`❁)❤❤❤~~

Nobunaga: *Smiles at MC's photo of sleeping* Hm 😏. *Puts it inside his inner kimono*

Sasuke: *stares at photo of MC cooking in an apron* Oh mah waifu. Le mademoiselle making me a sandwich. *kiss kiss kiss*

Nobunaga: ........

Sasuke: *Cough* Excuse me (´・ｪ・｀).

Second Game - Eating Competition

Team 1 - Shingen, Kennyo

Team 2 - Yukimura, Mitsuhide

Prize: Gold Trophy of MC statue in wedding dress.

Shingen: We can do this, Kennyo 😏. Let's do our best to win our Goddess's heart~

Kennyo: Tsk. I don't see any points of winning this game over a food eating competition-

MC: Alright the food is here~ I cooked it myself ☺☺☺. The dish for this eating competition is fried rice with anchovies, edamame, tempura, and a mix of foreign country, Korea's infamous Kimchi ❤.

Kennyo: I won't lose 😒.

Shingen: ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^)...

Yukimura: Why did I team up with you again?

Mitsuhide: Now, now, don't say that. We might win, you know?

-FOOD EATING COMPETITION... START!-

Shingen: Aaaah it smells so nice. When the Goddess prepared something as divine as this, I couldn't ask for more, aaah such a sin to be eating heavenly food~~

Kennyo: Just be quiet and start eating will you ಠ_ಠ? Nevermind I will start first- *Eats* ....MMF-

Yukimura: GAH WHAT THE HECK WILD BOAR?? It's so salty!!

MC: ☺💢...... My, have I forgotten to tell you that the dishes is not what it taste like? Oh I didn't. Of course. Especially for someone like you, Yukimura.

Kennyo: The rice is salty, the edamame is sour, the tempura is sweet and the kimchi is-- what a combination..! Sh- Shingen- *turns around*

Shingen: X w X.......

Kennyo: He fainted with anchovies hanging in his mouth 😱😱😱 OI! WAKE UP!

Yukimura: *Hurls* Oh f-- hey, are you oka-

Mitsuhide: *Has mixed everything into one bowl and already ate it until halfway* Hm ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^)?

Yukimura: ʕʘ̅͜ʘ̅ʔ....

Winner: Team 2. Thanks to Mitsuhide and his sense of taste.

Mitsuhide: *Chuckles to the trophy* Ah, I can't wait for the real person to wear it. *Smiles at MC*

MC: (ㆁᴗㆁ✿)?

And Yukimura: *Holding the gold trophy with ʕʘ̅͜ʘ̅ʔ face*

Final Game - Pass the Baton

Team 1- Kenshin, Shingen, Yukimura, Ranmaru, Kennyo

Team 2 - Hideyoshi, Masamune, Mitsunari, Ieyasu, Mitsuhide

Prize: A handmade kimono by MC.

Point 1: Masamune and Shingen

Bang!

Both of them dash for the second point, clearly glaring at one another within the race.

"Heh. Handmade Kimono or not, I will make sure I claim many more from her!"

"Aren't we a greedy one, One Eyed Dragon? That will be impossible for you to do so as Team 1 will win this no matter what!" Shingen focused to his front, all more than ready to pass the baton.

Both of them manage to pass the baton!

"Go! Ieyasu / Yuki!"

Sasuke: *Gasp* The Tsunderes of History (´・д・｀)! *Takes out phone out of no where and takes picture (which is attached with orange to charge its battery)*

MC: ಠ_ಠ...

"Heh, I won't lose to you!"

"Focus on your front, future loser."

"EXCUSE ME (　☉д⊙)??"

"Excuse you 😒."

"Damn it..! Ah Kenshin-sama--"

Yukimura: *Saw something + slipped* GAH- *Fell and land like an airplane, flat on the floor* Why are you drinking during a race???

Kenshin: Hmh. I was bored, you are too slow (눈‸눈).

Mitsunari: I'm honored to get the baton from you, Ieyasu-sama (❁´◡`❁)✨✨✨

Ieyasu: Just start with the running already

ヽ(`д´；)/!!!

3rd point, Kenshin and Mitsunari. Despite the slight delay, both of them running in par with one another.

"You are amazing despite having a drink just now, Kenshin-sama."

"Heh. That is nothing much. Besides, you are not bad yourself."

Meanwhile, at the 4th point...

Mitsuhide: ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^) My, hello fellow betrayer.

Ranmaru: QAQ Don't put it that way please~~

Now the baton in both of their respective hands, Ranmaru didn't hesitate to use his ninja skills for a quick stride, and that won't stop Mitsuhide either.

The final point: Hideyoshi and Kennyo.

Both: *Glares at one another*

Kennyo: To think that Nobunaga's lap dog would participate.

Hideyoshi: What did you say ୧( ಠ Д ಠ )୨?? Ah, here he comes..! Pass it here, Mitsuhide!

Mitsuhide: ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^) My, my, someone is impatient. Did you miss me, Hideyoshi?

Hideyoshi: GSHJSKAALF JUST BE QUICK WILL YOU ヽ(`д´；)/??

Mitsuhide: Okay~~

Also Mitsuhide: Ah-

*S T A B*

Everyone in the field: 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 *GASSSPPPPP*

Mitsuhide: My apologies, Hideyoshi. The running makes my legs tire witn fatigue it seems.

Current Hideyoshi's state: *Baton sticking out in his butthole* A-are you trying to kill me, Mitsuhide--- ugh- *faints*

Ranmaru: *Is stuck between helping Hideyoshi but also want to pass the baton to Kennyo* Aaaah I'm sorry, Hideyoshi-sama 😭!! Kennyo-sama!! Here!! *Pass the baton*

Kennyo: *Wince with an eye twitch to Hideyoshi* I pray for the health of your.. W-well. *Runs*

Winner: Team 1.

Kenshin: Kimono is great. But a kiss from you is better.

MC: Wha wha wha o////o..!

Shingen: Are you stealing my lines 😒? So rude~

Kennyo: Hands off your filthy hands on her, Shingen.

Ranmaru: Yaaaay Kimono by Princess (∩´∀`∩)💕!!

Yukimura: *Looking at Hideyoshi who is surrounded by the Azuchi lots* That's.. The most horrifying thing ever ʕʘ̅͜ʘ̅ʔ *shivers*

Meanwhile..

Nobunaga: Your sacrifice will be remembered and honoured, Hideyoshi.

Mitsunari: Noooo Hideyoshi-sama is not a virgin anymoreeee 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Ieyasu: Mitsunari what in the smoking duck-

Mitsunari: Huh? But MC said like that since Hideyoshi-sama is Nobunaga-sama's wife or something just now.. Huh? Ieyasu-sama, a duck can smoke 😱😱😱???

Ieyasu: Yes, just like you 😒.

Mitsuhide: May you rest in peace, my fellow right hand.

Masamune: May your butt rest well, lad. *sighs*

Hideyoshi:

Hideyoshi:

Hideyoshi: HEY S T O P!! I'M NOT DEAD YET ୧( ಠ Д ಠ )୨!!!

[larry-the-crow]

*SCREEEEEECH*

(Translation: Hello I am Larry, @goldenboy-mammon's best boy, sidekick, friend, and confidante. He is my dad. I love him. I am a crow. If you didn't figure that out from the name of this blog then you need help. Learn to read n00b HA.

Anyway, please donate shiny things it makes me happy thank you c: )

[lordgolden]

SCREEEEEEEEEECH IM GOING TO KILL I AM GOING TI DEMOLISH EVERYTHING I AM GIING TI FIND ANDREW FUCKINB DABB AND MURDER HIM I AM GOING TO BEAT THAT MAN WITHIN AN INCH IF HIS LIFE SCREEEEEECH

🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

[bakatenshii]

HAVE U SEEN THIS YUUTA COSPLAY https://twitter.com/tkk220/status/1356575896119832578?s=21

♡ I HAVE TRUST ME MY GOD I FUCKING HAVE, AND I HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING ABOUT IT SINCE. I FOLLOWED THEM ON DOUYIN BEFORE THIS AND WHEN THEY POSTED THIS I FUCKING SOBBED, STILL AM SOBBING ABOUT IT, IVE BEEN FUCKING WEEPING AND SCREEEEEECHING ABOUT IT. MY LIFE HASNT BEEN THE SAME SINCE. I AM A CHANGED WOMAN. I CAN’T FUCKING COPE, I’M UNABLE TO BREATH I JUST— OKKOTSU YUUTA