#i am screaming in my boots

[borathae]

them.

[fragonreal]

Why are some blogs on here so scary? It’s just a really cool person Fragon.

nothing to worry about.!

No nevermind SCARY. You. You’re really scary

[cinclidaefang]

Darkwood is not the game I would have suspected to leave a hole in me the way Hollow Knight did after completing it for the first time but damn…

What am I supposed to do with myself now that it’s over…

[an-inky-fingered-lass]

Let Me Speak: A Character Study

(A story of life, love, and hope; of sorrow, struggle, and rebuilding after loss. A story of everything a life can be, and all the ways it matters. A character study of Melinda May, and the parts of her story they didn’t tell.)

. . .

PART ONE

At the age of six years old, Melinda Qiaolian May knew two things:

One—regardless of the cheerful ribbing from her father about children and the things they would understand when they were older, she would not, at any point in her life, enjoy coffee. (This assertion stood the test of time, as it turned out, a fact Melinda maintained with righteous dignity throughout her life).

Two—she was not afraid of heights. 

There were other things she knew, of course, and things she was very much afraid of. But — there are priorities. As she grew older, Melinda liked to keep a count of all the things that didn’t scare her, and practiced leaning into the way those certainties weighed steady on her spine when shadows stretched strangely in the night. 

Continue reading on ao3.

[stormyoceans]

IT'S FINALLY TIME

[thirteenemeraldcats]

I would to know more about the untitled-Jamie-blue-screen fic, if you wanted to share anything about it : )

Hello terrifyingly talented friend! I am happy to share!!

So this fic started rolling while I was writing 'i learned to walk while he was away', - that story explores some of the 'unseen' effects of Jamie's experiences, specifically what his relationship to expressions of violence (even when positively channelled) might be after growing up with an angry man. The 'untitled-Jamie-blue-screen-day' fic (which is technically 'redacted-title-Jamie-blue-screen-day' fic, I'm a fairly changeable person and the title's redacted purely because it's still subject to possible [who knows, not me] change) is another exploration of some of the 'unseen' or more accurately 'undeveloped' parts of Jamie's psyche that canon skips over.

Specifically, the symptoms of depression he displays in 3x11 Mom City.

I'm a card carrying member of the 'Jamie has multiple missing diagnoses' bandwagon and know first hand what a horrifyingly tricky combo neurodivergence and clinical depression can be.

I use a lot of metaphors to describe/understand the complexities of mental health- when I was studying it, when I'm teaching it and yea when I'm thinking about my own brain :)

Most of the metaphors are computer based- product of the times I guess.

The untitled-title 'blue screen day' is how I unaffectionately refer to the days when that horrifyingly tricky combo decides to be extra horrifying and extra tricky and causes total system overload. The days when you forget how to be a person. That 'blue screen' blink feeling of not functioning, but then it's not momentary, it's not a blink, it doesn't go away. You're seeing with your eyes sure, but you're not really seeing and they don't really feel like your eyes. You exist in your body yes, but do you really exist? Is it actually your body?

(To use plain language; it's a brief and intense episode of severe burn-out, typically bought on by cognitive and/or sensory overload, but sometimes seemingly spontaneous [clinical!].)

So that's what I gave Jamie, a blue-screen-day (sorry buddy).

But I also gave him Roy! And a smoothie! He'll be okay.

(Essentially the story is the idea that sometimes things don't have solutions or answers or a quick and easy fix. Sometimes all you can do is be. Sometimes all you can do to help is be there.)

The fic really is gentle hours, I swear.

[britcision]

Gang I blistered 3 fingers unlacing and relacing these so first my very tiny partner and then my very juicy calves could fit in them and It Is So Worth It I Have Never Been Happier

Over the knee, white holo faux leather, WITH my most favourite sole, the Shaker???? Demonia came for my goddamn THROAT

Only criticisms? Please for the love of all that is good provide a wide calves version, I am riding the goddamn line and it shows, and also holy shit the laces are Rough

And they have to be, they’re under pressure here, but goddamn I am serious I am blistered and I’m going to do it all again

FUCK I’M A DUMBASS SHOULDA WORN MY COMPRESSION GLOVES

Everything still fucking SUCKS on this side atm, but my gran sent me money for a flight out even knowing ahead of time I wouldn’t be able to make it and told me to spend it on something that would make me happy and think of her

And it’s real hard to be depressed in thigh high white holo boots

(I. She. She’s my good Christian Granny. I don’t think I can show her. But they made me smile the easiest I have in 3 weeks and they weren’t even close to the cost of the flight so I can do many more things she will approve of that I can show her before it’s too late)

(The fucking SECOND Demonia puts out a white holo ankle boot in Shaker or Camel lemme tell you I will simply perish I cannot afford shit rn but ONE DAY.

My standard for adult success has been “can I afford Demonias” (whether or not I then do) since I was 14 years old and yeah I’m failing now but I’m failing while already owning Demonias so it’s still a win)

[lynnetendo]

bettelcore [jumps on stage] 2!! had to put this depiction of bettel separate from my babygirl drawings of him... based on ever ongoing convos about how his looks alone are a tad different from what he's really like (he is a beautiful person with a mind working in mysterious ways and also he is his own pastel gf and goth gf)

[wizard-mp4]

Mad max 2015 the video game™ is actually fun

[switchblade-serenade]

.

[blu-et]

god help me but i have purchased a graphics card

[slasherzslvt]

HEALPPP 😭😭😭

YALL Y DID I FIND OUT U CAN SEE PPLS CHATS WITH THE BOTS BRO

LIKE BRO YALL I DONT NEED ONE ELSE SEE THE DEGENERATE STUFF THAT I TALK ABOUT

[thelileggboy]

I lay here, in my bed, and I think about a very traumatic moment in my life that I think about a few times a month.

Sergei had recently graduated and she had a boyfriend. Shocking, I know, but we’re not at the scary part yet.

Said boyfriend would often leave Sergei gifts in her room. Her room is in the basement. The basement has a shared living room next to the Sergei room. I was in the living room. I am drawing something stupid for a friend and I hear what sounds like my mother walking down the basement stairs. I prepare myself to say something stupid and I make eye contact with a lanky, eighteen-year-old man child and he has the AUDACITY to say, “Boo,” and NORHING else. I was speechless.

I do not like the fact that that man child walks like my mother. Luckily, Sergei is no longer with him and it only happened once.

[chesacakeripper]

Hot goth transfem in my DMs trying to smash and I all I got is a n x i e t y

[permanentreverie]

Fuck healing my inner child I need to give my 12 yo self a gun

[valentinsylve]

Ok so I have just witnessed in glorious black and white the sight of a young Ben Gazzara clad in a loudly printed pajama top, little black shorts, a cadet service cap, and sock garters, playing a sadistic, sharp-witted, homo-coded martinet, and that entire character is my next sex outfit, mark my words.