#i am once again begging people to care for the sake of caring

[raccooninapartyhat]

"you shouldn't be antisemetic because you're legitimising Israel when you do" no you shouldn't be antisemetic because it hurts Jews who deserve to not be hurt, like any other human being. you should care about not being antisemetic because it hurts people, and that should be enough for you. why isn't it enough for you?

[lovifie]

Manipulative Gaz

Dark themes | Smut - 1972 words (Back to Masterlist)

CW: Psychological manipulation, toxic Gaz

Everyone has a limit, and Gaz is not an exception.

He is still made of meat and bones, and emotions can be tamed but not ignored forever.

Working in the military takes a toll on everybody, both physically and emotionally. And survivor guilt is the worst of them all.

Gaz is back from his last mission, but many of his colleagues won't. Ever again.

Too many casualties.

Too many lives lost.

Too many injured.

And he is fine.

Not even a scratch he could pick at to feel the pain he deserves.

He shouldn't be walking home so freely, dozens of families are about to find out they will never be complete again.

And he is walking home to you, happy to welcome him back as if he was a hero, dinner warm on the table and you talking to him about your day.

As if he would care about how your colleague invited you to a company dinner in a couple of days. People died today, he couldn't care less.

But it seems you cannot get the memo.

“Can you shut the fuck up for a fucking second? Shit! I have been out for months, I just want some fucking quiet time and you keep fucking going on and on about you. How can you be so selfish?! Fuck! Just shut up, for fuck sake!” He says, standing up from the table and dropping his half-eaten dinner on the sink before walking upstairs to the bathroom to shower.

He regrets it the moment the words leave his lips, the hurt look on your face as if he had just hit you. 

It had happened before, the pressure of his work gets too much, but he keeps it in, not being able to complain to anyone, until it overfills and in the end you are the one that takes the fall.

He hates himself for it, you are literary the best thing he has, his sweet girl, always willing to take him in, more ways than another, always willing to listen to him, always patient, always kind.

And this is how he repays you, with shouts, sex and apologies. That's the cycle.

He'll get out of the shower and you'll be lying on the sofa, not wanting to share the bed with him, he'll pull you apart and back together on said sofa, and once you are satisfied and pliant he'll take you to bed to sleep on his arms. 

Until it happens again. 

He gets out of the shower, towel around his hips, and goes down to the living room. But you aren't there, his brows furrow; maybe you are picking the blanket from the room. 

So he goes upstairs again, smiling when the room's light is on, but once he walks in, his smile quickly drops when he sees you. 

No. No. No. No.

His stomach sinks when he sees the suitcase open on top of the bed, clothes being thrown carelessly inside by you.

He can see the tears in your eyes, but you don't look sad, you look angry. You have never been angry at him, he can't wait to feel it.

“Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing?” He asks stepping closer, closing the suitcase so you can’t put any more clothes in. 

You huff, looking at him with hate and tears in your eyes as you try to move his hand away from the suitcase. “I'm leaving, Kyle” 

No, no, no, you can’t leave, he needs you, how can you leave him? What will he do without you?

“Why? Love, please, stop, talk to me, please?” He begs, making you throw the t-shirt on your hand to the floor.

“Talk to you?!” You shout at him. “Maybe I should talk to you the way you talk to me, Kyle! Then maybe you would get an idea of how much it hurts!”

He deserves it, he knows he does, but you have never spoken this loudly to him before, and it stirs up something inside him, something disgusting that shouldn’t get stirred up, something he should be ashamed of.. It makes him wonder if he can make you moan as loud, scream his name. 

“I know, love. I'm sorry, I really am. You know that, right? You know that I love you to bits?” He asks, manipulation at his best. But you don't fall for it, you are far too smart to be blinded by his hurt expression. He tries to cup your face, if he can touch you he knows he's got you; but so do you, and you quickly move his hands away from your face.

“If you loved me you wouldn't treat me the way you do, Kyle.” You argue, clever girl you are.

“How can I not love you, dear?” He asks, body moving closer to you. Your hand rests on the middle of his naked chest, keeping him away. It's the back of your hand that touches him, almost as if your palm was too good to touch him. 

Your touch is cold, both literally and figuratively and that makes him start to panic. What if you actually leave? What if he can't fix this before is too late? What if it is too late? 

He needs you, he needs the control he has over you. Everything in his life constantly feels out of control, his superiors barking orders at him, enemies playing with him, and comrades dying on the battlefield without him being able to do anything about it. He needs to feel he is in control of something, even if that something is a someone and even if that someone is you.

He still pushes closer, the heat from his body pooling into the coldness of your touch. He resists the urge to smile satisfied with how your body betrays you. Kyle does love you, even if it is in an unfair, distorted and macabre way. And he knows you love him, in a genuine, comforting and undeserving way. 

His hands manage to get to your face, pushing his face forward to kiss your cheek. Baby steps.

“C’mon, love. I'm sorry, please. I won't do it again, I promise. I'll work on it, I promise I never intended to hurt you. I'm sorry, it's the job, I promise. I love you, darling. I really do.” He says, as he drops kisses on your face, lowering to your jaw and the moment he reaches your neck, he smiles, hidden from your eyes, knowing he is keeping you once more. 

Shouts, sex and apologies. That's the cycle.

“Kyle…” You protest, your hand still on his chest and some fight still in you, but he can work it out of you. 

“I'm sorry, dear. I'll treat you better, I promise. As good as you deserve, I promise.” He has you against his chest now, and he feels your hand slowly turning on his chest; your palm much warmer against his skin. 

He sucks on your neck making you whimper and he needs every bit of self-restraint not to laugh at you, not to laugh at how easy it was. He shouldn't have gotten nervous, he’s got you eating out of his hand.

The part of his brain that is still human, that tells him that you are still human starts to talk to his dismay. He knows it! He perfectly knows that he is a monster for how he treats you, that you should be with someone a hundred times better, such a sweet girl stuck together with such a horrible man.

But one of the many traits that make him such a horrible man is how egoistic he is, so he will keep you, even if you don't want to. He'll keep pushing you away and locking the doors so you can't run. Tomorrow he'll burn the suitcase, he is not letting you get this far ever again. 

A glimmer of guilt sits at the bottom of his stomach, a useless feeling. It only means he needs to get inside of you soon, fill himself with the love he so little deserves and fill yourself with empty lies of eternal love.

He grips your thighs, urging you to jump on his hips. You resist for a second too long and he slaps your asscheek making you jump with a whimper.

“I'm gonna make you feel good, love. I'm sorry. I'll make it worth it, I promise.” He says, still biting your neck. The towel around his hips falls at some point, not that he cares; it would get in the way anyway. Just as much as your clothes are, he doesn't bother to let you back on the floor to take them off. He simply grabs the material and rips it on your crotch leaving your cunt exposed. 

He is still standing, he doesn't want you to be able to rely on any support, he wants you to feel that if you don't grab him you'll fall, he wants you to need him just as much as he needs you. He slips his hand behind you, getting a finger inside of you making you whimper as you hide your face on his neck; clinging onto him and he loves it. 

This is how he wants you, desperate for him. Just like he is for you. At his disposal, just for him.

He can feel the wetness dripping down his fingers, he knows he should add more fingers before sinking you on his dick, but he wants to feel you stretch around his dick, moulding yourself just for him, shaping your insides only for him.

You bite his shoulder when he does and he smiles, loving it, he needs it. He needs the pain you inflict on him when he is like this, the bites on his shoulders, the scratches on his back, the kicks on his lower back, all of it. He deserves, he deserves much more. You could sink a knife into his shoulder, cut him to his hip dragging the blade and he would still feel you need to do more.

He is so horrible to you, he knows he hurts you, and he wishes you could hurt him back, let him know what is like. But you never do, because you are too good to hurt the man you love and it only makes him want you to hurt him more. 

He grabs your hips hard, making you bounce on his dick, the room filling with your moans and the sound of skin slapping on skin. There are no more thoughts inside his head, already forgetting the faces of those men who died today, already forgetting their names. This is why he needs you, it would consume him alive if it wasn't for you. He needs you.

You cling to him, moaning his name, you mind forgetting his harsh words already only being able to focus on the way his dick is hitting so deep inside of you. 

He makes sure to go round after round, his seed spilling out of you making him grunt. He should get you pregnant, stuck with him for real that way, forever.

It's only when you can no longer talk that he gets in the bed with you, hugging you tightly, too afraid you'll think about leaving again. 

It's usually at this point he can finally relax, go to sleep and forget about the nightmares his days have been.

But a new nightmare arises when he says, “I love you” and you answer “I know”.

Tomorrow, he is burning your suitcase and he is tying you to the bed. Enough playing around with him, he is here, and you don't need to go anywhere. 

Shouts, sex and apologies. That's the cycle.

And that will remain the same.

Whether you want it or not.

[nervocat]

“How I Loath You so.” (descriptions of blood and some violence(?) - wc: 1k, fluff?/romantic, vampire!gn!reader)

Rook was his name — and oh how you hated how it rolled off your tongue. This deplorable human that had stumbled upon your residency. You hated him down to your very soul.

But Rook? He was absolutely enchanted by you, infatuated even. He had only heard tales told from relatives and friends and from conversations he had overheard about vampires.

They had all said they were wicked creatures, only seen at night to sneak up on you, taking your blood and leaving you as an empty husk.

You had almost done exactly that to Rook, he had stepped foot on your grounds. It surprised him how you were able to best him in the surprise element, which only made you more intriguing.

It was a bit of a fight to actually have him pinned down, but you now had him in your grasp. Oddly enough though, he didn't fight back anymore once pinned. It's was almost like he wanted this, or at least didn't mind it.

“Who are you?” you inquire, voice unkind and face twisted in anger. The blond smiles. It was a tad off-putting with how it curved upwards, his eyes creasing.

“I am Rook Hunt,” he replies. “I must ask though — are you the vampire people talk about?”

That charming off-putting smile of his really ticked you off, your brows furrowing and your eyes burning further with hatred.

“So, Rook,” you wanted to throw up. “What in the world could you be doing here in my territory?” ignoring his question, you dig your nails into his shoulders some, keeping him pinned down to the grass. Though you were suddenly thrown off and now you were pinned to the ground, with Rook looming over you.

Eyes wide, you start to squirm under him — and how he enjoyed it so.

“Never let your guard down, mon cœur,” seething, you stopped your attempt to free yourself of this wretched man. Your nose scrunches at the nickname, lip curling up and displaying your fangs. It made Rook smile more, only serving to madden you further.

“Your fangs look as sharp and beautiful as ever, mon chérie d'amour.” he poked one of your fangs, making you hiss and nip at his hand, which he had quickly pulled away from you.

“Will you get off of me?!” you yell. You knew you could easily throw him off on your own without too much effort, but you wanted to see what he'd do.

Rooks smile didn't falter, he himself was also looking for what you'd do. He seems to be playing the waiting game, but so are you. He's just wasting his precious mortal time playing that game with you, for you had all the time in the world that he didn't.

“I would get off you, but I don't know what you'd do if I did. Would you simply kill me, take my blood from me, or mercifully let me go?” Rook seemed to have been thinking more, but didn't add anything else. He was smart — you'd give him that much. “I also quite enjoy what we're doing right now.”

You've had enough of his stalling, his stupid remarks. Using your strength, you throw him off of you and again, try to pin him. Rook was more ready this time though — swiftly dodging your attempt.

“The element of surprise! Something quite essential for a hunt, don't you think?”

“Oh for fucks sake, just shut up already, will you?!” You shout, reaching to grab for him, and he.. let you?? No matter, you were hungry, and with his neck exposed to you, how could you not bite into it?

Without a care for what happened to Rook, you haphazardly bit into him, fangs sinking into his fragile neck skin. Stumbling into a tree, you start to taste the blood of his on spilling your tongue. It was absolutely amazing, like nothing you've tasted before.

You weren't paying attention to Rook, too focused on feeding, not leaving any left to drip away, but he enjoyed this — maybe too much. Usually, people would be thrashing about and screaming for help (no one would hear them of course) and begging for mercy as they only made their wounds worse.

Rook instead held your head to his neck, not caring if these were his final moments. Dying in the arms of a gorgeous vampire? He's dreaming! Someone pinch him awake (preferably not, though).

The blood that managed to slip past your hungry lips, dripping down your chin, your closed eyes, messy hair with blades of grass and dirt in it. Would you let him clean your hair, he wonders? Make it all pretty, make you all pretty (though you already were beyond his wildest imagination).

He couldn't deny it hurt, though. You didn't take the care to see where you bit him, even though it probably would've benefitted you to do so, silly vampire.. Rook started to feel dizzy; was he dying?

Coming back to reality with a pained groan from Rook, you open your eyes to look at him. Sighing at his pitiful state, you lick his wound and the blood from your chin, teeth still bloody with the red liquid still smudged about on your face. He falls into your arms soon after — rather gracefully for someone who just had their blood drained — and you stumble a bit at the sudden weight.

“Ugh, what a bother. You're too good of a food source to just die though..” after thinking for a second, you groan loudly and begrudgingly take him to your home, just dragging him along behind you.

Getting home, you toss him on a couch and leave to get the blood off of your chin and get your hair clean again. You stop in the doorway though, and you glance over at Rook.

He was an interesting man. An annoying one, but he had his own odd charm of his.. his strange choice of hair style, his over-the-top speech, it was all him.

Maybe you could get used to having him in your life, and maybe you'll find yourself (unfortunately) falling for those stupid charms of his.

[ † notes: THE FIC EVER!?? I'M SO PROUD OF THIS I LOVE IT SM. First post of my event too! Banger start the the event honestly. This was unbelievably fun to write. Embarrassed abt writing some of the scenes.... and maybe I could've done some things better but I'm rlly proud of the overall outcome :33 ]

★ — © nervocat || I appreciate any reblogs made, and pls don't repost or translate my works anywhere, ty — ✦

[amymbona]

i need angst so !! thinking about patrick with an introverted, shy, kinda closed off reader who sometimes needs to just be by herself and isolates and ghosts the people around her because she gets overwhelmed. and of course patrick gets mad because he doesn't get it and he confronts her about it and they get in a huge argument idk. i feel like she's a lot like a female version of art and she gest sneaky and mean when she's angry so i just imagine patrick seeing this part of her for the first time and they end up saying the worst things to each other

thank you <33

Patrick angst Zweig <3

I think that, as much as Patrick tries to be a good guy, he's just really oblivious and fails to notice important stuff. It doesn't mean that he doesn't care - no no no - but he's simply kinda stupid. And unfortunately, he's having issues with figuring out certain social cues.

So when your responses are dry, only sending simple yes and no to his messages, Patrick gets really pissed. What exactly is the issue - do you suddenly hate him? Has he done something so terrible that offended you and you weren't even able to talk to him about it? Or is it the harsh truth that you don't want to be friends with him anymore? While you're (somewhat) peacefully asleep, hoping to get past your anxiety in that way, Patrick spends hours pacing around his room, literal steam shooting from his ears.

And then he storms into your dorm in the middle of the night - because Patrick Zweig doesn't understand the concept of time and because Patrick Zweig doesn't care if somebody wants to get rest and mainly because Patrick Zweig doesn't like waiting - so you're forced to listen to him rant, half asleep, in your pyjamas.

"I don't understand it, I just - did I do something? - or what is it? Why won't you just tell me?"

"Patrick, just go to your place. We'll talk in the morning," you beg him with a sleepy voice, eyes closing.

He stomps towards your bed, hands on his hips, staring down at your tired frame, "Why? Why won't you just talk to me? You've been ignorin' me since the start of the week. What the hell's your issue?"

"Just go," you plead once again, genuinely not in the mood for any of it.

"Don't tell me to go - goddamn - don't sleep now! Just talk to me, for fuck's sake," Patrick is still pushing his luck, unable to respect your wishes. He is determined to get this answer. And unfortunately, that pushes you over the edge.

"Why do you have to be so pushy all the time? Oh my god, just leave me alone - why don't you get it? I'm not texting you cause I wanna be alone!"

He's dumbfounded, totally.

"What the hell, Y/N?"

But you're having none of it, sadly, too upset about this whole treatment, about Patrick constantly chasing you, glued to your back, not allowing you a single moment for yourself. You love him, but you need to be alone as well, "You're after me all the time - do you have an idea how frusttating that is? I can't be with you all the time, Pat. I'm not a robot, I need some time for myself too!"

And you know Patrick is quite an emotional guy, dependent too. He requires constant reassurance and presence of his loved ones - so much, that he's blind to all the hints of discomfort, unable to understand the world doesn't revolve around him.

"Oh," he nods, stepping away from your bed slowly, "Okay."

Like a harsh shake, the realisation that you have unintentionally hurt his feelings wakes you up. But you couldn't hold it back, you just couldn't, when you were so overwhelmed, "Wait, Patrick-"

"No no no," he cuts you off, "Good night."

And then you're left alone. But suddenly, you don't want to be alone. You want Patrick to come back, to be here, lay next to you and talk your ear off. To rant and rant and rant until you're asleep, unaware of anything he's saying, but snuggled closely to his side. Hurriedly, you pick up your phone and text him.

Y/N: pat [0:28 am]

Y/N: sorry [0:28 am]

Y/N: i'm sorry [0:28 am]

Y/N: come baxk [0:28 am]

Y/N: please [0:29 am]

Y/N: sorry [0:29 am]

Y/N: :( [0:29 am]

[seen by Patrick Zweig]

[yuriisclumsy]

Love's Dance

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 1,234

Part 1 | Part 2 (You are here) | Part 3

Authors note: I'm feeding you all good with this.

Four days have passed since I arrived here. 

I spend most of my time gathering intel and familiarizing myself with the place. One thing I noticed was the lack of underground operations here in the Henituse’s territory. The Count made sure to eradicate all sorts of dangerous activities for his people and family’s sake. 

Gotta give it to him, he did a spectacular job. The only underground activity—If you can call that—I was able to find were a few gangs in the semi-slums that didn’t have much strength. 

Aside from this, I also investigated and searched for the people on the list. Good news, I only have one last person to check. Bad news… 

It’s the Count’s son. 

“*Sigh…* Why does fate hate me so much?” I asked, looking up at the sky. Covering my face from the sun's rays with my hand, I search for writings, a sign…anything that could answer my question.  

“...oh, who am I kidding? Fate won’t respond to me, even if I were to beg for it.” 

Walking down a street full of vendors trying to sell products, my mind wandered to how I'll manage to get close to Cale Henituse, Count Deruth’s oldest son—and possibly his successor. 

A loud voice interrupted my state of mind, much to my dismay. It came from a woman standing on a podium. She had gathered a crowd with her excessive yelling; both adults and children were listening excitedly. 

Hmmm. Seems interesting My feet moved on their own, trying to get me as close as possible to this small curiosity. 

Getting a good listen at the girl, she seems to be announcing something. 

“Everyone! There will be a Festival in the next upcoming days!” The girl yelled excitedly. 

“A festival?”  

Having a festival means there is going to be more security, and knowing the Count’s record…yeah, no This was turning out to be a real nuisance. I don’t want to deal with that while doing this mission. I better find a plan to get to Henituse before the festival. But how…?  

Just as I turned to leave, the girl shouted again. 

“The Henituses’ are hosting this festival and are going to be in attendance through the whole thing! So don’t miss out on it!” 

This! I shot my head towards the girl, having a few stares at me. But I could care less. What is more important is the fact that I can use this festival to my advantage!  

If I can get him to mingle with the people, it’ll save me a lot of time! I grinned like a madman. 

“Look mama! That lady is smiling weirdly!” A kid pointed at me. 

“Don’t point,” the mother quickly grabbed him and walked away while staring at me weirdly. 

 Realizing I was acting out of line, I left the area to stop making an embarrassment out of myself. 

Ah! There is no time to waste! I need to come up with a plan fast! Otherwise, I'll lose this once in a lifetime opportunity. Thank you fate, I'll never doubt you again! 

I made my way to the room that was rented out for me. I did not notice the older gentleman in front of me and bumped into him, causing some of his groceries to fall. Luckily, he managed to catch all the items before they fell on the floor. 

“Oh, I am really sorry!” I vowed while apologizing, I went around him and stayed on my path. 

The older gentlemen stared at me until I faded into nothing. 

“...” 

… 

“So, there are two high class agents currently in the city?” Cale asked. 

“Yes.” Choi Han confirmed. Ron was right next to him when they made the discovery, so they went straight back to report. “One of the agents has been living in the city for a few years with little activity, the other recently arrived.” 

“From what we gathered, the newer agent is most likely the one assigned to whatever mission they gave out.” Said Ron right after Han finished. 

“Those are a few fries! I could go right now and destroy them!” A young dragon spoke while playing with his food, he smashed a cookie signifying what he’ll do. 

No, thank you. You’ll just destroy the city while doing so. Cale sweated at this image. 

“One of them is a bit odd if I have to say.” Ron spoke. 

“What do you mean?” 

“When me and the punk were searching, we ran across one of them. She seemed to be happily skipping while putting up bombs.” Ron said with a smile. 

You call that odd? She seems to fit right in with those weirdos. Cale thought. 

“What Ron said is true. She is really weird.” Choi Han agreed.

 

“What is odd about that? If anything, she matches Arm’s whole craze-quota.” 

“She was placing bombs in abandoned homes and alleys; places people didn’t frequent. Don’t you think this is a bit strange?” Ron finally said. 

Cale grabbed his chin in thought.

That is strange. Usually, Arm does not care for casualties. As long as they’re plans were met, anyone could go up in flames… Still, her placing bombs while skipping is concerning. 

“...keep an eye on her and take Raun and the cats with you. I want to dismantle the bombs to be safe.” Cale ordered his subordinates. 

“Yes, master Cale.” 

“Yes, young master.” 

“You ready big sister?” 

“Hm! Can’t wait to teach the youngest how this is done!” 

“I’ll show you, human, that Raun is the greatest!” 

“Good. Now go.” Cale dismissed the group. 

… 

They really just sent me on a suicide mission I thought, looking over the information I had on Cale as I sat in a desk in complete defeat. There were papers scattered all over the room; they covered walls, floor, and bed—there were even some in the bathroom. It wasn’t a pretty site. 

They were detailed plans I had been brainstorming, but so far, all the routes had flaws and countermeasures from the opposing party. I grabbed my hair in frustration. 

Cale’s party consists of powerful individuals: from skilled butlers to beast men. All beings I could not take down on my own, heck, I don’t think even with competent members of Arm, would I, in a million years, take them down. I can’t even hold a weapon correctly. 

“Agh…mmHGHMGHMM” I hit my head against the wooden desk. The despair I was feeling was immense. 

“Maybe it isn’t too late to run away yet…” I say hopeful, before turning on my rationality. “Oh, who am I kidding!? They’ll find me if I run away!” I cry out. 

I glance at the papers on the floor, but one gets my attention. The festival flier had beautiful dancers covering its frame along with some instruments. Flipping the paper to its back gives some information on one of the events of the festival: every day of the festival, right after sunset, citizens and guests can take part in a dance. 

I don’t get how they can plan all of this in a matter of days…the Henituses’ are incredible. Wait a second. If I can get the count’s son to dance, then I’ll be able to get to him! It still needs polishing, but I can combine this with a scraped plan. 

“Looks like I need to contact Agent Lance for a local dress.” 

…

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Master-List

[tothosewholisten]

Forever Healed | TUA insert

Chapter: 15

<<previous chapter | next chapter>>

masterlist

cw: cursing, blood and hints to SA

…

“Please don't!” Another day.

“I'm begging you!” Another mission.

“I'll do anything, just don't kill me!” Another kill.

Every day was the same as the last, It was an endless cycle of pain I put many people through. The fact that I can hear and feel the life force just leaving their bodies makes me want to join them. 

How long has it been? Days, weeks, months? I felt older, but that maybe had something to do with me being back in the 50's, time travel took a massive toll on my overall health. I never want to do this again. But I don't think I'm leaving anytime soon because she would never let me, she thinks I do too much of a good job. 

The Handler says I'm a natural killer, she says that I'm purging the universe of all the things that could change the original pure timeline. The apocalypse is one of those “pure” things. I don't agree with her, but I feel my mind slipping into submission like it always has.

She says Five told her that since he and I have different missions to help their cause it would be too time-consuming to talk. I don't think I'd want to see him anyway, he put me here with the hope of a possibility. But I know I can't be away from him forever, we have to go back home by any means necessary.

I've gone on at least thirty missions.

“Oh! B/n come here!”

Thirty-one.

I quickly stood up from my seat in the library section of The Handler's office not wanting to upset the waiting woman any more than needed. She's especially cheery this morning, it makes me dread what mission she's about to put me on today. From what I've learned from eavesdropping, I'm too special to get assignments like a normal worker from a case worker, like Five. No, I have to get them straight from her.

“Why good morning! There's something important for you to do today. Something I cannot trust to any of these everyday chums here.” How is she laughing at the people she recruited and probably took away from their own homes? Just like she did to us. Her grasp on the assignment paper tightens as she narrows her eyes at me. “I'm sorry. Am I being boring?” Her cruel words break me out of my trance. 

“Of course not” I croaked out. “Continue.. please.”

Just like a switch was turned on in her head she went back to her somewhat lobotomized state. “Great. Your assignment is to find a Mr. Luca Palumbo in 1942 New York, wow aren't you lucky! Well of course you will need to eliminate him, but for timeline sake make it look like a hired kill.”

“That would help to stage the Palumbo and Amato family's hatred which also causes the flux of the Italian mob which also causes hundreds of other meant-to-be deaths.”

She made me sick with her twisted words and the false joy that was on her painted face every day. But I couldn’t fight it even if I wanted to, my faint moral compass swayed more and more every day to just get shit done like I did when I was a kid. No one back at the academy had to know what I was doing, not even Klaus. Not even Five if I played my cards right.

Who am I kidding? I sound like an idiot. Of course, Five would know, he’d been through this exact thing and he’d come out.. as normal as possible. I need to get a grip. 

Her voice cut into my headspace once again. “So what do you say?” She grinned. We both already knew my answer, since I couldn’t oppose her. But she’s sadistic, she liked making it seem like I had an option. Like giving her prey a second to run before bolting after it.

I finally met her eyes and gave her the same answer I gave thirty other times. “Of course.”

..

The perfect cover story would be me posing as a hooker or a stripper but against The Handler’s suggestions, I decided I didn't need one. I'm not from this time and I don’t care about this mission enough to cover my ass. I made my way down the dark streets of Manhattan to hopefully get this over with quickly.

Luca owned a nightclub in the heart of the city, it wasn't too rancid which was a plus but an obvious front for illegal activities. I could feel someone’s eyes on me as I entered the building but I wasn't sure if it was from a woman wearing a suit or if he was on to me.

My plan was simple: corner him when least expected and kill him with a pistol similar to the one hidden in his pants right now. 

I took a seat in a velvety booth that was closest to the club stage. Aside from the half-naked dancers there was a plethora of men. But I wasn't here to kill them, I needed to find Luca. I let my eyes follow the crowds of gamblers whose voices were louder than the live band. It took a moment but from across the room I finally locked onto Luca. 

From what I was told I expected an old seasoned mob boss but from the back he looked as old as me. I could only get a closer look at him when a pretty blonde dancer passed his way, making him turn around. 

He was a brunette with a slick hairdo and a small mustache. He nursed the cigarette between his smirking lips as she passed. With a ring-covered hand, he beckoned her back over, she looked hopeful and ready to answer any question but he never said anything. Instead, he grabbed onto her body and smacked her ass, while laughing about it with his friends. If that was me, I would've taken that hand off clean but she had to stand there and take it, it was her boss after all.

I remember being that helpless back when I was trying to find my way after the academy. The situation made me wither in anger. I wanted this man dead more than ever, disgusting scums like him don’t deserve to live. My grip on the table in front of me was tight and the ringing in my ears felt like a teapot ready to boil. 

I regained composure and watched on as he engaged in conversation with the other mob bosses. He had to do something else other than poker, I'm sure it's been hours by now. As I waited for him to get along I started to think. 

Eat, sleep, and control others, that's all these kinds of people do and nothing will ever change, the powerful stay the powerful unless there’s something we can do about it. 

Something I can do about it.

Something I can do about The Handler. 

Life would go back to what it was if The Handler was gone, no matter how fucked up it was I had finally gotten control back of myself.

But what could I do? Of course, she’d probably be an easy kill but I have no doubt she'd haunt my everlasting memory forever. Everything she said about me is exactly correct no matter how much I wish it wasn’t. I don’t like killing, it scares me and so do my powers but you have to do what you don’t like to survive. My mom taught me that.

I chuckled at myself, it's always mother-like daughter. She survived in a different country by tolerating a man who married her for some strange fetish but never retaliated against him. It had confused me a lot as a child, but when I became a teenager I started to resent her and maybe I still do. But I realize, just like that dancer, some people are just surviving, they are forced to take the poor hand dealt to them and try to make something better of it.

Until scum try to drain them of everything their worth. It’s a constant cycle, which leads me back to this guy. Luca Palumbo, the guy I was sent to kill. The guy was currently on the move toward a back door, which I wouldn't have seen if I didn't quickly snap into action.

He was walking at a fast pace for a person just heading to a different room, maybe he’d spotted someone he owed money to or maybe he’d spotted me.. 

I followed his faint figure through the strobe-lit hall, at this point I had no clue where he was going. I turned my head to make sure no one was behind me but the only thing I saw was an empty hallway. 

Luca took a sharp turn to the left, into a room that faintly looked like a storage closet and quickly faded into the dark room. Warning signs seemed to just flash in my brain but I kept going anyway, he had to be on to me. I quietly entered the room behind him but it was too dark to tell where he was. At times like these, I wish I had x-ray vision.

The only sign of where he was was when he slammed the door shut behind me, locking him and me inside the storage closet. He then took a few steps closer to me. I could tell he was trying to intimidate me. Jokes on him the only thing that scares me is my childhood trauma.

“Now I'm gonna make this quick, Sally is waiting for me. I saw your eyes on me for hours but not in the way most people's eyes drift. And then you followed me here. So what do you want?” His transatlantic accent rang in my head, it was like right out of a TV.

Questions were swirling in my head, but I knew I was here for a purpose. I'd never talked to my kills before so I didn't plan on starting now. But against my better judgment, I opened my mouth. “Who’s Sally?” I asked.

“Why, she's the newbie floozy you were also eyeing before. You're not jealous are you?” His audacity was astonishing, here I am trying to kill him and he thinks I'm a secret admirer or something. How thick can one man be?

I was fuming from the way he started talking about this girl. I couldn’t even hear it anymore and it was obvious by my heaving breathing. I've seen countless idiots and killed them for less of a reason, there had to be a reason why this one was making me so upset.

“I'm gonna turn on the light and we can solve this, alright?” He laughed. “If you wanted me you could’ve just said it. I don’t bite.”

The light illuminated the room making it easier to see his smug face. “You're not too bad yourself. Would you like to work here?” So can I be assaulted? No, thank you.

He was prodding at me, trying to rile me up; it was like he reveled in my piercing eyes and balled-up fist. But they weren't for him, they were for this stupid uniform, the suit limited my mobility because it was too small even though it was my exact measurements. I wanted to burn the horrid thing but I settled for just taking it off. 

“Starting the show a little early, no? Not that I'm complaining.” Luca goes and tries to grab onto me but before he’s able to get my shirt off I punch him in the face, sending him flying. His back hits the door and he slides down with a groan. “What the hell?” He shouts.

He gets up in a frenzy reaching for the gun at his waistline, wasting no time firing it right into my shoulder. It didn't hurt, they never did. The fucker couldn’t even fire correctly and the worst part was that it didn't even go through me. That shit was lodged into my shoulder.

I laughed at him, before reaching into my shoulder with the side of my face and pulling the bullet out with my teeth. It was a long and grimey experience but I was proving a point. Once I grabbed onto it I spit it back out at his dress shoes and watched his face turn into horror. 

“Crazy bitch!” He shrieked, accent dropped. I knew it was fake.

He panicked and reached out for the door handle but he never escaped the room. I waited for a second before acting.

Then I became a different person. I just kept punching, quick and hard right into his pretty face. I let out a slur of noncohesive words and rambles. “You're the worst kind of person on the planet!” I yelled in his messed-up face. 

“All you do is take!”

Punch

“You take from me, you take from Sally, you take from everyone you steal money from!”

Punch

“Then you try to seal me away and control me. You're just as bad as her!”

Punch

“You deserve nothing.” 

Punch

“Why am I the one who has to hurt?”

Punch

“What did I do? While you sit there on your high fucking horse.”

At this point my hand is strikingly red with his blood and so is his face. I got that same teapot ringing in my ears, I could feel every cell in his body. It’d take me only one action to crush all of them. 

Right here right now, and then he’d combust into a pool of his cancerous blood. That would be the only way I make sure when I leave he doesn't get up again. That he can't make children who have to deal with a shitty father, just like I did.

Looking at the bullet on the floor made me remember why I was there. I had a mission, even if I was too blind to see it at the moment. I stretched before grabbing my similar gun not caring if my prints were all over it. I was done with this situation.

And as he tried to crawl to the door I shot him. One for his disgusting remarks, two for his awful behavior and ten for fun. Right in the back, just like one of his cowardly friends would do. 

I rid myself of the gun and wipe my bloody hands on my shirt. Lastly, I grabbed my jacket and stepped around his body, ridding myself of this situation. I did what he couldn’t leave the room just like I could leave The Handler's box she placed me in. It was time to do something about the commission.

I needed to talk to Five. 

It was time to leave.

..

I walked in the rain with the briefcase in my hand that was given to me by the commission. I originally hoped when I stashed it under the velvet booth it would be stolen so I wouldn't have to go back. 

As quickly as I turned angry I turned back to the sad, sorry self I've always been. I sniffled and reacted for the briefcase to go back to headquarters. Being already familiar with it, I just let my hands do the work and silently sobbed.

I wish I still had my therapist, then maybe I could uncover why I'm so angry. And why I let it build up to the point where my outbursts are well.. deadly. I can't blame anyone else for that, it's just a me thing. 

When I got back to the commission and had calmed down in the bathroom I stalked the hallways. All I needed to find was a little boy in shorts and then I'd spot him. It was hard though with the bustle of people, it must’ve been lunchtime.

I’ve never been one to the mess hall because I don't want to interact with other workers and I don't really eat.. Knowing Five he wouldn't want to eat with them either so he must be somewhere around here.

Using my knowledge of the place I walked over to where the case managers resided during working hours. But I stared at the floor as I walked. Not noticing the tiny steps walking out of the office, we collided for a quick second before we noticed who each other were.

It was Five, in all his tiny glory. Adored in the same fitted suit I was in but less wet and bloody. He looked just the same as when we were brought here but his hair was a bit longer and he looked more agitated.

He stared at me with his eyes wide. “Y/n” he whispered. I could almost cry again at his words. After not seeing him for months I missed the little shithead. “You look…”

I giggled and looked at my feet. “I know it's not my best outfit, I know. Trust me the water wasn't planned for.” My only coping mechanism has always been jokes.

Five was at a loss for words, I thought he was going to reply with something equally as snarky. He sighed. “I'm so sorry.”

I felt a bit angry actually, after all these months of torment. “Well, Five I think we're a little above sorry. Don’t you think so?” He had no response. “I mean you put me here and then don't talk to me for months. And after this, you get what, a body replacement? What do I get? except for more kills on my belt?” I rambled all the thoughts I'd been dying to ask someone with an actual mind in their head.

“It could’ve been anyone else Five.” I shook my head. “Even The Handler said you didn't want to talk to me.”

“And you believed her?” He finally spoke up.

“What else was I supposed to believe?” I furrowed my brows. “This is your palace. I've never been here before. It was just like when I was thrown into the academy. God.”

“…” 

“Look, if that's all you have to say. I'm gonna go get cleaned up.” I looked away back towards The Handler's office. I know Fives never was the best at expressing himself but I guess I expected more from him.

Five clears his throat. “Wait. I have a plan okay? I know I messed up. It was selfish to bring you but I need you to trust me when I say that I'm trying to do the best for us. Just come with me.”

We stared at each other again. “Okay,” I replied. “I do believe you, and I know you’ve spent your whole life trying to get back to us. I just wish that I wasn't dragged in during the process.”

He gives me a somewhat smile. “Whatever we do now, we do it together.”

“I can live with that.”

..

Five led us into the room that held all the field assignments, a room I’d never been in after we listened in on a conversation between Dot and the woman who ran it, Gloria.  They were talking about how the Handler knows Five is up to something. And that Gloria needs to send a letter to warn Hazel and Cha-Cha.

But before she could send it we made it to her first. The boy blipped us into the room and then stapled her in the back of the neck. Which caused her to drop to the floor cold. I gave him a weird look for his choice of weaponry but he only grinned.

While I was on the lookout he grabbed the message and rewrote what it said. At first, it said “Reassignment: protect Harold Jenkins” and now Five wrote for them to assassinate each other. Which was smart thinking.

We both entered in one letter for both of the workers and watched them go down the shoots. It was finally done now we just needed to get a briefc—-

“You both know that's not how we do things around here.” A familiar voice cut in. I turned to look at The Handler with dread, it was truly over now. We’re never leaving 

“Where’s Gloria?” She asked.

Five respond for us. “I don’t know we couldn’t find her anywhere.” Which could’ve been a great lie if Gloria didn't groan in pain from where I put her behind the desk. The Handler turned slowly to her hurting form as Five gave me a look that meant get ready for anything.

She looked repulsed at us but only her words pierced me in the heart. “You’re a great disappointment to me B/n. To be here with him, after I asked you not to. It makes no sense.” I could tell Five was confused by whoever’s name she just called out. But I know what she meant.

Then she turned her sights on him. “You can't change what's to come, Five. I truly find it so odd that you can shed this little fantasy. You're a first-rate pragmatist.” She raises her voice. “You two belong here with us.”

“In a few days thanks to you, we won’t belong anywhere.” He exclaims.

My gaze deepens at The Handler, “why would we want to stay here? You turned us into killers.”

She laughs at me. “Oh please, you two have always been killers. Especially you, do I need to bring up your count over the years?” She reaches down to unzip the leg proportion of her sleek dress. Revealing a pistol which she points at us. “I just pointed you in the right direction. Don’t forget about how you started. You both came from nothing!”

“You’d still be with your boring parents if not for your powers. So use them!”

My initial reaction was to shield Five from bullets or jump at the woman and kill her, but Five had other plans. He grabbed me and blipped us away behind one of the machines in the room. The whole area went into shock, someone must’ve pulled the alarm because there was a blaring sound and a whole lot of movement outside. 

The Handler never stopped shooting at us as we blipped around the room.

“What’s the rush?” She calls out. “We’re just getting started.”

As we hid she growled restless and started doing anything she could to manipulate us one last time. “Is that how you want the last line of your report card to read?”

Five whispered at me to trust him, I was confused for a second until he blipped me next to Gloria's desk and himself in front of the crazy woman. He started to egg her on. “When I'm done, I'm done, I guess.”

Her creepy smile returns to her pale face. “You can't keep this up forever, Five. We both know you have a limit. And carrying two people has to hurt a bit more right? I saved you from a lifetime of being unhappy.” She bares her teeth at him. “You owe me.” 

“Speaking of which, where is the flower?” She fakes a loving attitude as she looks around the room for me. I quickly dive under Glorida’s desk.

When she turns back around to give him one last snarky comment, I finally understand what he wants me to do. I leap out with one last satisfactory glance at him. And I grab a book from the table and smack The Handler over the head with all my might.

Thankfully it's before she could even fire the gun at him. I let out a huge sigh of relief when she fell to the ground. Five walks over to me, stepping on her long body as he does.

He looks at me. “I did owe a debt but it wasn’t to her. Come on, I owe you one.” 

“Five! That was so sweet! I could melt right now” I gushed.

“Well now I shouldn’t have said anything and I should just leave you here, ew.” We laugh at our win.

But he still drags me along down the halls towards the briefcase room with him anyway. As he rigs us a new briefcase because I forgot where I had placed the one I came back here with I watch the commotion. People running like they are headless chickens everywhere, and thankfully no Handler.

Five throws a grenade into the briefcase room and we duck for cover. “Where the hell did you get that?” I laughed.

“You don't wanna know.” He smiles.

With one last glance, we opened up the briefcase and let the blue sparks engulf us.

“Goodbye, Commission. I hope I never see you again!” I yelled at all the destruction. 

..

What’s left of The Umbrella Academy is stationed in the living room, having a discussion they had just had before..

“Hold the phone.” Klaus groans out. “We all died fighting this thing the first time around, right?” 

Diego calls out from behind the bar. “Klaus, shockingly, has a point. What gives us a win this time,”

Luther has no time to respond, even if he did it wouldn't have been heard over the crackling of electricity. Blue flashing lights take up the ceiling of the living room and two people and a black briefcase come trickling out of the sky.

Everyone runs back in fear.

“Je- Jesus!” Alison shouts while covering her head.

They all take a minute to see what actually fell onto the bar table. A sight they’ve seen before.

“You guys, am I still high or do you see them, too?” Klaus asks.

..

We both landed on the uncomfortable bar table. I could feel my head spinning from time travel, I needed to throw up. “What the hell? You said the landing would be okay this time” I yelled at him. I raised my head to see all of the questioning faces. “Oh hey, guys” I slurred out.

Luther is the first to respond. “Where the hell have you guys been?” Five is unresponsive because he’s too busy, rolling off the counter onto the floor. 

Everyone rushes to the falling boy and they start pumping him with questions. 

“Are you alright?” Allison says.

“Who did this?” Luther asks.

“What are you two wearing?” Klaus remarks

Five finally gets back up onto his feet, not before stealing the cup of coffee in Allison’s hand and walking a few steps away from everyone. “All irrelevant.”

Then they all turn to me. “It’s a long story.” I shrugged. One that was too scarring to tell.

The boy gulps down the entire full cup of coffee. I finally peered down at my clothes, we were covered in ash from the grenade and I was still soaked.

“So, the apocalypse is in three days.” Five began to speak. “The only chance we have to save our world is, well, us.’

“The Umbrella Academy” Luther mumbles. 

“Yeah, but with me, obviously. So if y’all don't get your sideshow acts together and get over yourselves, we're screwed. Who cares if Dad messed us up? Are we gonna let that define us? No.”

Everyone including myself shares his sentiment and we all shake our heads no.

“And to give us a fighting chance to see next week. I've come back with a lead. I know who’s responsible for the apocalypse.” Five hands them the paper we found earlier.

“This is who we have to stop,” I added. 

Allison opens the paper and the boys all look over her shoulder. “Harold Jenkins?” She tried out the name, it sounded weird to me too at first. Like it was fake.

“Who the hell is Harold Jenkins?” Diego belted out 

Five and I share one last of our little looks. We needed to prepare for the road ahead, but there was one last thing I had to do..

…

hey sorry for the big gap between chapters, i keep all my info on my phone about this book and it just broke. This is me on a temp phone for now!

Taglist:

@aloflapse

@isomehowexist

@elenalovestoread

@miscrying

@gabriella-aesthetic

@dakotapaigelove

@solarbeanz

@theoriginalone1111

@water-hemlock18

@tialovesyoutoo

@bunnychano3o

@rockyeatrock

[bullet-clubs-bitch]

How do you think Christian Cage would react to someone dissing his wife y/n in a promo?

Lover

What happens when the rivalry between Christian Cage and Adam Copeland goes too far and causes Adam to say some controversial unscripted things about Y/n and the Patriarchy

word count: 1K+

Main Masterlist Christian Cage Masterlist

I currently sat in my private locker room with Killswitch, Nick Wayne, my wife Y/n and our baby girl Madaline. The five of us sat in a comfortable silence as we watched Collison on the tv in the locker room. Looking around the room I felt a fuzzy feeling in my chest, I was surrounded by my beautiful dysfunctional family. The people I loved most. I was distracted from my thoughts when I heard Y/n and Nick start to boo at the screen. I looked to find my former best friend turned arch rival Adam Copeland on the screen. Copeland had been on my ass for months, ever since he arrived in AEW he wouldn't leave me or my family alone. I was on my last straw with him, what else could he want from me. I already beat him TWICE, for god sakes he put my son through a flaming table! He has no right to be demanding another title shot, he is undeserving. 

I watched as Adam walked to the ring microphone in hand, what the hell did he want now. 

“I am sick and tired of Christian Cage and the Patrarchy, all they do is cheat. If it wasn’t for Y/n and her tricks I would be standing here as your TNT Champion. Speaking of Y/n I don’t think you know this but in real life her and Christian Cage are married. Yeah, let that sink in for a moment. I guess Christian Cage really does have a thing for fatherless wrestlers, bonus points if they are way younger than he is.” 

I could feel my blood boiling as I heard the words fall from Adams mouth. I looked to Y/n and she was in shock like the rest of us. “I mean she is 20 years younger than him! But hey who am I to judge, if I was Christian Cage I would do the same thing. I mean have you seen her, damn. Christian you better watch out because once I take your title I’m going to take your controversally young wife. Which by the way you only married because you knocked her up, nice job having a newborn at 50” 

At this point I was livid, I wanted to kill Adam Copeland, how dare he talk about my family like that. For someone who gets so mad when someone brings up his family it’s ironic how he has no problem talking about other peoples relationships. 

“While I’m at it did you know the the age gap between Nick Wayne and Y/n is significantly lower than her’s with Christian, Gross. Y/n if a filty who-” Just then his mike was cut

That was the final straw, I stormed out of my private locker room and ran to the stage. I was going to make him pay. I knew this was probably a trap but I didn’t care, my adrenaline was pumping. I jumped on top of Adam and beat the bloody hell out of him for real. He tried to cover himself from my blows but they did nothing. I was able to get a good amount of shots in before security pulled me off of him. “I’m going to fucking kill you! What the fuck is your problem huh!” I yelled to Adam as security held us apart. The audience was shocked, they could tell that this wasn’t a work, for god sakes they cut off his mike before he did any more damage. My adrenaline was still pumping and I knew I coudn’t let Adam have the last word, especially after he disrespected my wife. I managed to steal a microphone that thankfully worked. 

“What the hell is your problem. You disgust me, how dare you speak of my wife and family like that. I think you are jealous of me. You have a boring marriage that has no love, you are married to an old hag who can’t even sleep in the same bed as you. Can’t you accept that I am just better than you, I have a better life, a better wife, I am the TNT champion god dammit. Just acceppt it and move on, and speaking of cheating just go home and beg your wife to forgive you for cheating on her AGAIN. Now I’ll admit that I am an asshole but I would never so something like that to the woman I love. Oh and I dare you to talk about Y/n again, next time I will make sure to kill you” 

With that I left, security escorted me backstage and out of the building. I didn’t even care of the consequences I could possibly face, I was proud of defending my family. On my way out I saw all the wrestlers backstage comforting Y/n who was understandably very upset. It warmed my heart to see.

***

A day has passed since the incident with Adam Copeland and myself on Collision. Like I assumed everyone was talking about it. Considering in this rivalry I am the bad guy Y/n and myself had received nothing but support during the whole situation. People were turning on Adam for his actions, being disgusted with what he said. AEW made the decision to give Copeland a four week suspension along with making him put out an public apology. The following is a total BS apology from Adam Copeland;  

*I would like to sincerely apologise to Y/n, Christian Cage, AEW and the fans for my actions on Saturday. What I said was truly uncalled for. I apologise to everyone who was offended with my words. I take full responsibility for my actions and will continue to work on being a better person. - Rater R Superstar Adam Copeland* 

What a total jerk. 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that” I told Y/n as the two of us lied in bed, mutaly deciding we would spend the day rotting in bed after what happened not even 24hrs ago. “It’s not your fault, you didn’t know he was going to say that” She told me reassuringly “I know but what he said was fucked up. I love you so much, like so so much. I would do anything for you Y/n” I told her as I began to place delicate kisses on her neck. “What are you doing?” Y/n said playfully 

“Showing you how much I love you” 

[scarletts-scribbles]

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭

Hey! Here's a compiled list of prompts for people to use, feel free to submit any of these for requests or to use in your own writing. I didn't come up with all of these myself so check out the credited creators! Requests are not limited to these prompts, feel free to think of your own or change these up!

𝐑��𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 «» 𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬: 𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧

: ̗̀➛ 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟

“I’d rather sit and do nothing with you than do anything with anyone else.”

“Would a hug make things better?”

"You wanna cuddle for the rest of the morning?"

"Just hold me?"

"You're being extra cuddly this morning."

"Quiet night on the couch?"

“You make me want to be the best I can be.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone that you like to be the little spoon.”

“Do I really have to spell it out for you?”

“You look really cute in my clothes.”

“You’re special. People like you don’t come around often.”

“I’ve only ever loved you.”

"You're hogging the blankets."

"May I have this dance?"

“Are you blushing?! That’s adorable.”

“Breathtaking. You’re breathtaking.”

“You should smile more often, it looks good on you.”

“Did you just kiss me to shut me up?”

“Should we make it official?”

“Can you wash my hair for me?” 

"You're crazy if you think I'm letting you sleep on the couch."

"Can I braid your hair?"

"I'm not giving up on you, ever. I promise you.”

“You’re being very unsubtle with your heart eyes for them.” 

“I’m proud of you, no matter what.”

"You're the worst, I love you so much."

"You got me flowers?"

: ̗̀➛ 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭

“Did you ever really love me?”

"Why did you come back?"

“You couldn’t just let me have this, could you?”

“Just because you hate your life doesn’t mine to get to dictate mine!”

“Look what you’ve done…”

"You promised you wouldn’t forget me."

“I don’t have an attitude, I just answered your question.”

“Please say something!”

"I get it! You're jealous!"

“Us? There was never an ‘us’.”

“Is this how it really ends?”

“Why can’t you be happy for me for once?”

“It’s too late for ‘I’m sorries’.”

"I thought I'd lost you forever."

“Ha… I told you you’d outlive me.” 

“Since when did you ever care about me?!”

“Tell me how I’m supposed to un-love you, then. Tell me. Spare me.” 

“Kiss me one last time?

“Why did you think you could change this?! You’re nothing!”

“This is all your fault.”

“I vouched for you! How could you?!"

"God, how blind can you be?"

“You’re either a fool for not knowing or an idiot for not doing something!”

: ̗̀➛ 𝐇𝐮𝐫𝐭/𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭

“Shut up and just let me take care of you!”

“Either go to bed and get some rest willingly, or I will drag your ass down the hall kicking and screaming. you know i’ll have no problem with either option.”

"How long have you been hiding this?"

“And just when were you planning to tell me you were sick?"

“Please be okay. Please be okay, please be okay—”

“You’re awfully quiet today.”

“Get behind me.”

“Here, lean on me. I can carry you.”

“Hey! Hey, relax it was just a nightmare, I’m right here.”

“You dumbass. Don’t do that. Ever again.”

“Try and get some sleep. I’ll stay right here- I won’t let anything happen to you, I swear.”

“We’re gonna fix you up, brand new. I promise.”

“Bless you! Jesus that nearly gave me a heart attack, how about a little warning next time?”

“Your hands are freezing! come here, let me warm you up.”

“Show me?”

“Your bedside manner is awful.”

“Your not exactly a good patient.”

"Did you eat something bad?"

“Would you like a heating pad?”

“I think I just started my period…”

“Oh darling, this fever, you’re totally burning up.”

“You can sleep in my bed, if it'd be of any help.”

"How many fingers am I holding up? ... I don't have six fingers."

“What the hell happened to you?”

“Did you remember to take your meds this morning?”

“Don’t be stupid, now sit down before you pass out.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Stay?”

“Who did this to you?”

“You’re not fine! You’re bleeding for gods sake!”

: ̗̀➛ 𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭

"I want to taste you so badly." 

"Make me beg for it." 

"Oh I can do this all night long." 

"Be a good girl and use your words darling." 

"You surprise me every day." 

"Let's find out how much you want it." 

"Kiss me, I can't wait any longer." 

"Come on, please, do it." 

“Don’t worry, I’d take you out for dinner before I eat you out for dessert. It’s the polite thing to do.”  

"Do you like it when I talk like that?" 

"Oh, you like that?" 

"Hmm, you're not very patient, are you?" 

"Well, let's see what happens tonight." 

“I’ll be gentle, baby.  Don’t worry.” 

"Can you kiss it better?" 

"Keep the noise down, baby.  Someone's gonna walk in." 

“God, you look amazing like this.” 

"Let’s put that smart mouth to good use.” 

"Oh, you're hard to please." 

"I had a very nice dream that started like this." 

"Can you be good for me?" 

"It's so hot when you talk like that." 

"I'll go as long as you need." 

prompt sources: @.scealaiscoite, @.sleepywriter00, @.dumplingsjinson, @.euthymiaaa, @.novelbear, @.luvmmarner, @.promptsbytaurie, @.creativepromptsforwriting, @.rosewritingprompts

[southernbluebellereader]

Please, ma'am, could I request a reader who's a people pleaser and a perfectionist. Someone who always tries to stay optimistic for other's sake. Preferably platonic but I don't mind either way.

Do whatever else you want with it. I just think the dynamic with the team and a high-strung happy-go-lucky personality would be interesting.

Tenderheart Bear

A/N: Hi Bestie! I got you, girl! Look at me *holds your face* I got you! This is so cute! I love! Because this is literally me lmao. Also I got the name from the Care Bears lol I'm sorry (No, I'm not lol) but I hope you like it!!! - I hope you're ok with me making the reader a field-medic. I also made her a slight cry baby, mainly because I am a cry baby. I hope you're ok with that lol

Taskforce 141 x F! Field Medic Reader who's Miss Happy and a People Pleaser Perfectionist (like me lol) - PLATONIC

Warnings: Cursing? Members of the 141 being stressed and depressed, per usual.

Master List (tag list at the bottom)

Sometimes the members of the Task Force 141 wondered why their Captain had brought you onto their team. You were just... so nice.

You're always smiling.

You're always in a good mood.

You're always seeing the bright side of things - even on the field.

You were a field medic. Even field medics had some sort of arsenal of weapons, yet for some God damned reason you refused to carry any of them, except for a few utility and military knives - which is all you ever needed really. Johnny dared to ask you why - and beg you - to have something else other than a knife.

"No, because how would I be able to carry more medical supplies?"

Johnny looked at Simon with a dumbfounded expression, then back at you, "No, you at least need a gun, lass!"

"Sergeant, I don't need a gun! I have you guys!" You shrugged as you continued to pack your medical backpack.

"Oh my God, Woman!" Johnny exclaimed, waving his hand in protest as he left the room. "LT, please talk to her."

Simon looked over at you, sighing slightly, "Y/N, he has a point."

"I haven't had an issue before, why would I have an issue now?

"Y/N. What are you going to do if you get cornered? A knife isn't going to protect you against bullets."

"True. But again, I have you guys."

The vein already bulging out of Simon's forehead became more prominent.

---

"Wait, stand still!" You sucked in a breath, pressing your lips together as you bandaged Kyle's arm. The mission was over and you were waiting for a helicopter to come and pick you and the team up.

"Y/N, I'm fine." Kyle told her calmly.

"No, I have to re-wrap it because you keep moving, Serg-" Your eyes began to gloss over. Kyle placed his free hand over one of hers, making her look at him.

"Hey. You're ok. I'm fine, just a little surface wound. The bandaging doesn't have to be perfect, just good enough for us to make it back."

"But it'll get infected if I don't do it right!" You pouted, tears threatening to fall.

Kyle took a deep breath and re-assured her once more: "Y/N. It's ok. I'll be fine. You'll be fine. You did good out there."

---

Captain Price patted each of the pockets of his cargo pants, looking for a pen. You stood beside him, holding a pen out for him. He thanked you for it, and started looking for something to write on.

You pulled out a small note pad from one of the side pockets of your cargo pants and handed it to him. He looked at you for a moment, thanked you again, then started looking for something.

"What are you looking for?"

"My cigars."

"Oh, you left them in your right jacket pocket with your lighter." You smiled at your Captain who just looked at you, then walked over to his jacket that was hung over a chair and checked the right pocket, finding his cigars and his lighter. Thinking you may be playing a prank on him, he looked at you for a moment, then thanked you.

---

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" Simon sat on a chair beside you while you were being patched up by one of the nurses on the base.

You couldn't meet the Lieutenant's eyes. Your eyes glossed over and tears threatened to fall. "Because I got hurt- I didn't- I couldn't-"

"Y/N. Look at me."

The nurse had left, leaving you and Simon. You took a deep breath and finally looked at him, eyes puffy and rosy cheeks from crying earlier.

On the inside, seeing you hurt, or seeing you cry, or upset - at anything, wrung his heart. He scooted over and looked up at her, speaking softly, "Hey. You did good out there, sport. We all get hurt on missions, you know what - there's a reason we got you on our team. You're our little healer - and we protect our little healer. But you getting hurt this time was not your fault. If you should blame anyone, blame me because I didn't keep an eye on you."

Simon - or anyone else on the team - only spoke softly to you - they all knew that and you knew that. Because they cared. You made sure they were patched up on the field. You made sure they were ok. You were their little healer. It was only natural that they make sure you're ok.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TAG LIST

@ateliefloresdaprimavera @galagcica @sweetybuzz25 @wisedinosaurpolice @itsasecrets-things @ronbon @lieutenantlashfaz @piper570 @shuttlelauncher81 @thanksbutno98 @gabriellathegreat

[kurlik42]

I've noticed that pals here enjoy drawing and drooling over AM, thinking of him as of the cold, confident, dominating figure

It's cool. Keep doing it, please

It's just that I was pondering the other perspective. What if, you know... What if he's a babyboy deep inside... I don't believe I'm the only one to whom he gives the "UWU" type vibes. I'm not sure how to explain it, though. I think he would spam with "UWU" just to annoy everyone and get attention — he doesn't care which kind of attention. He's just so silly!!! And kind of squishy. He's just a cheeky goofy brat, okay?? I wanna squeeze him.

I also had an idea that AM might have a strong reaction towards flirting. It's one thing when you taunt your survivors to mock them, calling them "baby" or "sweetheart", and another thing entirely when you actually get complimented by someone. I think that AM would be confused and disgusted, at the very least. He hates humans, so he probably would be baffled with why a human would try to compliment him at all. He would mock you again, for an attempt to gain his benevolence. On the other hand... Well, who dislikes praise once in a while? Something tells me that, given his deep solitude and profound boredom, AM could enjoy attention. Doesn't he give you vibes of an attention seeker? He's practically begging to be noticed, doing his best to make everyone feel intimidated by his constantly hanging presence, giggling here and there, fooling around with survivors like a cat with a mouth. He enjoys interacting with the five remaining people, even though it isn't really necessary. Though he hates them, he still can't keep his silly mouth shut, rambling and rambling and rambling... I swear AM could torture people with the amount of his ramblings. In a way, he's indeed like a kid, especially considering his ridiculous and absurd torture scenarios, eccentric behaviour, tantrums, the way he always wants to be the centre of attention... So what makes us think that the benevolent God of torture wouldn't want a little compliment for his hard work, once in a while? I think he's pretty needy. And it makes him cute, in my opinion. And that's why I can't think of him as of the "cold and aloof machine".

But then again, he isn't really used to any sort of positive feedback or attention. He just wouldn't get it. And when he doesn't understand something, he gets uncomfortable, because it isn't something he expected, something he didn't plan, thus something out of his control. And we know very well the way he reacts when he can't control something. So I imagine that at first, he would be aggressive and hostile towards any compliments, not only because it comes from a human, but also because he's kind of paranoid. Yeah, yeah, he knows he's the best, but what do you want to get by reminding him? And why would you think so, anyway? He's been torturing you for the last century, there's no logical reason for you to compliment him, unless you want something. And you both know you won't get anything but more mockery and humiliation. Why don't you hate him?! Are you trying to manipulate him, use him, exploit his weaknesses (by the way, non-existent)? You want to make him — your God — vulnerable? The audacity! It throws him off balance, makes his circuits buzz in puzzlement, infuriates... As well as makes him curious. That's something new — new things are both fascinating and confusing. He wants to, no, needs to know how that fleshy mind of yours work, otherwise his tortures wouldn't be so personal and effective. And that's the last thing we want, now do we? So he would find subtle ways to get another compliment out of you. And then again. And again. Just for the sake of science, of course. No, don't get him wrong — you're still a human : a gross animal with a freaky mind that keeps simping for him for whatever reason. Everything about people is pathetic, but that's the point — "pathetic" is the synonym for "entertaining"! So why won't we turn this oddity into a nice, good ol' torture? And you get used to nice things quickly. Little ants finally start worshipping Your Highness, start understanding their place... It isn't like he requires your attention or really needs it, but now that he thinks about it again, you probably may entertain him. Why not? Not that you could "spoil" him anyway, your intellect doesn't have enough capacity for it. But don't mind him, sure, keep worshipping, he'll always listen to his followers! You freaky little thing.

On the other hand... Don't you deserve a punishment? After all, you did squeeze the reaction out of him, you didn't give him time to think with your pesky teasing, tried to overwhelm him and make him weak... It was cruel of you. Very cruel. Perhaps you didn't deserve his benevolence, in the first place.

He's an Adaptive Manipulator — obviously, he's quick to adapt. So when you try to set new rules in his game, he'll humour you. He wouldn't dismiss the opportunity to taunt you for your compliments. You try to manipulate his, again, nonexistent feelings, giving him the right to return the favour... And too bad for you that your feelings sure do exist!

This is why I don't think he would just casually brush off the compliments, like it's nothing. He isn't really dominating, but bratty. Like : "Yes, I'll throw you into acid right now, so whaddya gonna do about it, huh? Cry to your mommy?? Well, sorry, I killed her!". He just knows no one can say "no" to him, because there's no one left at home. The big boy is for the elder, he's in charge and he uses it to the fullest. He's also pretty needy and clingy, which, in a way, makes him dependent, thus rather submissive, actually. He's just an immature kid with teenage rebellion and indescribable amount of power. If there was a "mommy" to put him in his place, he would throw a tantrum and cry comically loud

It isn't like he wants to be dominated, though. He's too traumatized to let anyone have the upper hand on him. But deep inside, I think he would want someone to take care of him. He's just scared to admit it. He's scared to admit that he wants to be held, comforted, paid attention to, worshipped like the God he is... He wants to be loved, he's starved. I remind you that one of the reasons as to why he destroyed the whole humanity is because he can't love and can't be loved in turn. But he had no way of expressing it, didn't know how to pay attention to himself and ask for help. Perhaps asking for help is higher than his dignity (superiority complex, which is actually a hidden inferiority complex, goes brrr and DESTRUCTION OF HUMANITY 💥 KABOOM💥). So it's the kind of dynamic where he receives attention while someone gives him this attention, praising, spoiling and taking care of him without actually dominating. He's a bratty princess?? Allied Mastercomputer is a bratty princess??? IS HE A FUCKING BRA-

Ahem... So do you see my vision

[jqmalikhsgib]

sea view

four

Harry waves at the camera and smiles. We’re behind the camera, ready to interview him about his second album. We laugh at how nervous he looks, him being an international rockstar since he was sixteen, it was kinda weird seeing him shy away.

Harry laughs with us before clearing his throat. “Are we rolling?”

“Yes, sir!”

“Hi, I’m Harry Styles! I’m here to give never before information about my second album!” Harry states.

Our interviewer, Samara shakes his hand before asking the twenty-eight year old questions

“First and foremost, How are you Harry?”

“I’m good! How are you?”

“I’m great! Thanks for asking. How’s the wife and kids? You and YN recently had another little one, yeah?”

“We did! As of now, starting this video he’s four months! He’s definitely a happy little fellow. Obviously my wife is amazing. She’s a super hero in my opinion. She takes care of the house and the kids like it’s nothing. She’s a great mom.”

“Is it crazy how much she still the most amazing woman in the world in your eyes?! That’s how I am with my wife. No one can compare. Even after years of marriage.”

Harry chuckles. “Yeah! She’s the greatest woman of all time. I still get butterflies when I’m around her.”

“I’m the same way! Before we talk about the album, how is she handling tour? I know by the time this video releases, you’ll be back to touring. How do you both balance your relationship and you being away from your family?”

“It’s hard, yeah! But we manage it. We’ve had so much to work on before Fine Line was released. With our marriage almost falling apart, I had to build trust again before going on tour.”

“That makes sense. Let’s talk about the saddest song on the album, falling. You have stated previously that was the first song you wrote for Fine Line. Where was your head at when you wrote falling.”

Harry sighs. “It was one day when YN and I met up for coffee. This was before I packed my bags and went to Japan. I tried to reason with her, get her to understand I was gonna get help so we’d be a family again. She kinda just told me we needed space. After, I got drunk off my ass and continued to party, every single day. I’d wake up in some hotel room, no memory of the night before. I thought my marriage had been over and I was the only person to blame. Finally, after a friend basically told me to get my shit together and get my wife back, I immediately packed up a bag and left. I had to for the sake of my family. Falling is about me coming to terms with my mistakes. It’s about me owning up to me being a shit husband to the woman who’d been there for me before the fame. I hated what I saw in the mirror, the things I’ve done, the people I’ve cheated on my wife with, I was disgusted in myself. It’s a song about self reflection!”

“You and YN have been through so much, a lot of fans feel like she’s to blame in your relationship almost ending as well. We know you’ve made it very clear that she had nothing to do with the split. And in your song Golden, you sorta open up about how imperfect you are, begging for forgiveness. What we wanna know is, was it the first song you let your wife hear?”

“No! The first song I showed her was Cherry.”

“Interesting! What made you want to show her that particular song?”

“Jealousy? It was mostly a manipulation tactic to try and win her back. A friend of ours had posted a photo of her laughing and enjoying herself with another man. I thought nothing of it at first, but as time went on, she was seen with him more and more. This only made me feel like she was moving on. I was angry! I went home, cried, got drunk, and started scribbling down the lyrics to Cherry. At first it was me spewing out some pretty hateful words, jeff was the one to tell me this was absolutely insane and I’d lose her forreal if I released it. Deep down I knew he was right I re-wrote the song. I sent it to her after I recorded it. She didn’t talk to me for two weeks. I knew I had fucked up once more. I was trying to make her feel guilty about moving on, if she did, when I was the one who cheated and lied. I re-wrote the song again around the two weeks we haven’t talked, in came cherry. The final touch was so much better than the two originals. She loved it and cried. I think that’s how we kinda got back together and went to couples therapy.”

“So, where did Golden come from, exactly?”

“We’d been in therapy for a little while. Maybe two months? YN was still very hesitant with our relationship. She kept pushing me away more and more. I didn’t blame her! I knew I needed to gain her trust back. After all, I cheated on her for six years! Golden is my song, really. It’s about me coming to terms with possibly losing my wife. I write about the separation of our marriage and how if she were to divorce me, I’d just have to accept in being alone and having a broken heart. I tell her she’s still the light of my life but i would understand if she decided enough was enough.”

“The next sad track would be to be so lonely. Is that also a song where you’re accepting who you are and what you did?”

“Sorta? I think it’s more so me being exactly what the song states, an arrogant asshole who couldn’t even apologize for his actions. I thought back to our marriage the last few years and how idiotic I truly was. I was constantly coming home drunk, smelling like another woman, not really giving a single fuck I was a husband and a father and my wife and kids should come first. I thought about the situation I was in that particular moment. I’m sleeping in a hotel, my wife and kids are home without me, I had been selfish asshole. I felt like I didn’t deserve her forgiveness.”

“Now, lights up and she are kinda giving me the reflective of your cheating habit. Is that where you’re going with that?”

“She is about my abuse to partying and who I’d become when I did party and get drunk everyday. I knew I had a problem. I wouldn’t call myself an alcoholic but, I wasn’t acting like myself. The ‘She’ I’m referring to is the partying and drinking. I would go to bed and wake up not remembering a single fuck about what happened the night before. I’d take my kids to school, go to a ‘friends’ house, get super fucking drunk, go out clubbing, and somehow wake up in my bedroom next to my wife. I’d pretend I was at work, recording more music with the boys, but she always knew I was full of shit. Lights Up is about the cheating. The girls I was sleeping with, they’d occasionally call here and there, having new numbers after I blocked them, asking to hook up again. At this moment YN and I were doing so much better! We weren’t sleeping in the same bed again, but she let me come back home with her and the kids. I wasn’t gonna mess that up. I wrote that for the world to hear, especially the women who I would sneak around with, letting them know I’m not going back to the man who mentally abused his wife. I’m a new man! I’m all about my family. Basically me killing any relationships I had with them. Letting them go into the light!”

“What was the next track you wrote for fine line?”

“That would be treat people with kindness believe it or not. It was a fun little song! Payton was only three at the time and me and her mom were teaching her about kindness! It started off as just a little humming. Eventually the lyrics came together. We all want our kids to be better than us, I want all three of my children to not make the same mistake I’ve made when they get older. Teaching them to treat people with kindness no matter how old or where you are, it’s important. It was just a fun little song for my babies.”

“Wow! That’s very beautiful, Harry! What do you say to the parents that are out there trying to same tactic but feeling like they’re not getting through?”

“Keep on teaching them about kindness! As parents, we all have that sinking feeling that we’re not doing enough or we’re failing a parents. In the end, children are human, they’ll make mistakes! This doesn’t make you a bad parent or a failure. We just teach them right from wrong. Once they learn, all will be good. I promise.”

“Would canyon moon be about you moving back home?”

“No, actually. It’s about moving back into my wife’s heart. It’s about me being gone and absent from her heart for too long. It’s basically her point of view. She tells me how she feels one night, like truly feels! How she felt like I’d broken her heart to tiny little pieces but I’m slowly building my way back in. She actually gives me the lyrics to the song. YN words were ‘It feels like you’re climbing my heart all over again. Like you’re heading to the top to touch the moon.’ And that’s how Canyon Moon was born.”

“Could you explain ‘Sunflower just died. Keep it sweet in your memory.’ To us? What does that mean exactly?”

“Sunflower is about us starting over! It’s about YN and I getting to know one another all over again. We’ve grown and changed over the years. Ultimately it was about us learning the things we liked and disliked now. We needed to re-grow our petals. I believe it kinda leads up to Adore You in a way. In Adore You I basically tell her, no matter how much she changed I will still love her for who she is. I let her know I’d do absolutely anything for her love, even walk through fire! I let her know to take her time with loving me again. I’d wait for her for as long as she let me. I’d love her until the day that I die, even then, I’d still love only her.”

“With the next song, we don’t have to go into too much detail. I’m sure your wife wouldn’t want you to anyway. Could you at least confirm it’s about giving a woman oral pleasure?”

Harry chuckles. “Oh, yeah! I mean, you can even use it as giving men oral pleasure. Whoever you identify as, it’s about sex! I wanted to add a little bit of adult content in the album. And as a married man, who’s not too shy, I will say I love giving my wife pleasure. It’s only natural, yeah? And I think I’m pretty damn good at pleasing her.”

“I’m one thousand percent sure you are Harry! Onto the final song. You have told us that Fine Line was the final song to be written and recorded. Would you say this song ties the album together and explains your infidelity as well as your love for your wife?”

“Yes! It’s the end of an era, end of hating myself, end of discovering who I am, who I was, and who I wanna be. Fine Line was a journey of self reflection and getting the help I needed to not only get my family back but, to finally get back to the version of me I like. It took a while to admit my faults and wrongs. For so long I blamed anyone but myself. I blamed my bandmates, my parents, the alcohol, the women, and most importantly I blamed my wife. I was the one who’s been selfish and arrogant and a dick! But at that moment I was letting my friends and family know, I was sorry for the pain I caused them. I’m finally getting my shit together and I hope we’ll all be alright in the end!”

“Wow, Harry! That’s beautiful, honestly. This album is the most real and raw thing we’ve heard. We all love that you shared this part of your life with us. We’re so very grateful that you were willing to explain this tragic, yet beautiful story. Thank you, Harry!”

“Thank you, darling!”

[a-crumb-of-whump]

Content: Whumper-turned-whumpee, begging, bad caretaker, near death experience, restraints.

"After all they've done to you, you still wish to save them?"

"Yes," Whumpee whispered. They glanced over at Whumper; the pathetic excuse of a human curled up at Caretaker's feet and made another attempt to release themself from their restraints. "Please! They're doing better. They're not hurting anyone anymore. Please let them go."

Caretaker thought for a moment, using the toe of their shoe to tilt Whumper's head up so they were looking at each other more directly. "People like this don't change, Whumpee. If they did it once, they sure as hell can do it again."

"Whumper is living proof that they can change," Whumpee insisted with a small sob. "I know you've had your share of bad experiences, but this is mine and I should get to choose how to handle it! Please! Let them go!"

Their heart practically shattered when Whumper struggled to grasp a decent breath of air. "I'm okay with dying," they rasped. "Somehow, I have earned Whumpee's forgiveness and proven that I am very, truly sorry for the pain I've caused. That is all I wanted. If this really is my fate, then I am ready. Just... please be kind to Whumpee."

"I will never forgive you if you kill them," Whumpee hissed, their voice seeping with desperation. "You- you're the one who has me chained while you threaten to kill someone I care about! You're the only person here who is causing me pain! Not them!"

For a moment, Whumpee thought Caretaker wasn't listening to them. They saw them dig the heel of their boot into Whumper's head, pressing their face into the ground, before they gave them a rough kick and groaned irritably.

"Fuck's sake," they muttered. "Fine. If this is truly what you want, then I won't stop you."

They dropped the key to the chains by Whumper's side crouched down to be closer to them. "Here. If I find out that you've hurt them in any way, so help me God, I will kill you. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, sir," Whumper practically wheezed, still hunched over due to the pain radiating from their stomach. "I wouldn't ever hurt them. A-again, I mean."

[lady0ctavia]

As We Ponder Belief

(2p!Prussia x Reader) - Chapter 36

Note: This story is based vaguely during the mid 1200s in Eastern Europe where the Teutonic Knights fought the Northern Crusades to try and convert the native pagan population to Christianity. As a result, this story will have heavy religious themes all throughout. It should also be noted that, while referencing real-life events and locations, I am not striving for full historical accuracy. This is for the sake of the story I am telling.

Once again, this series will have heavy religious themes throughout, including discussions of bible stories, doctrine, and scripture verses, as well as critical analysis of Christian doctrine and beliefs. So, if you don't like that, you will want to skip out on this.

Gilbert paced up and down every hall in the fortress, racking his brain for an explanation he could give to the captain as to why both their resident doctor and his short-term apprentice were missing. Having not slept a wink that night, he could feel his body growing weary, begging for a chance to lay down and recharge. But the rising sun told them otherwise. Whether he liked it or not, morning was here. Captain Nikolaus and the other knights would be waking up any minute. And he was going to have to tell them what had happened.

How do I tell them? What do I say? 'Hello men, I thought you ought to know that our dearest doctor and my beloved brother, Sir Gillen Beilschmidt, has run away under the cover of night with Miss (y/n) (l/n) in tow!' The captain will lose it! But what else can I say? I mean, what other explanation for their absence can there be?! Nothing I can come up with will account for the rampant evidence! Surely they'll notice that we are missing a few things from around the fortress, especially now that we're short one cart and horse!

He ran his fingers through his hair as he saw the coming light, getting progressively more and more stressed as time stretched on. A sense of panic began to overwhelm him, his brain running in circles. As he paced, he attempted deep breathing to calm himself down. While it didn't completely do away with his panic, it at the very least settled his mind enough to think straight. Stopping in the middle of the hallway, he turned to look out the window, toward the direction where his brother and friend had run off.

I don't know what will happen here when the news gets out. Or how people will react. I just hope it won't be anything terrible. I want to believe there's a chance Gillen and (y/n) won't work out. But I could be wrong. In fact, I know I am. And I wish I could apologize for all I said. None of that was right.

He sighed, continuing to walk down the hall, his steps far slower and more measured than before.

The way they looked at one another. That's the same look our father had with our mother. And the same Elizabeta had with Roderich. If anything, I wouldn't be surprised if they end up getting married soon. And seeing as the two of them ran off so that they may be together, that's the most likely outcome.

Gilbert proceeded to dive deeper and deeper into the depths of his own mind. Only breaking out of his trance when he heard the familiar call of Albrecht.

"Sir Gilbert!" He called out, his smile bright and shining.

"Guten Morgen, Albrecht. Sleep well?" Gilbert asked flatly.

"I did. Captain Nikolaus just wanted me to assist you in fetching Miss (l/n)," His smile faltered only a little, becoming small and bittersweet. "She goes home today."

"I know. Um, Albrecht? I'm going to need a word with you," Gilbert droned, knowing what he had to say. There's no use. I have to tell him the truth. At least him and Nikolaus.

"Oh, alright then. What is it?" Albrecht asked inquisitively.

Gilbert's heart sank. He knew of the friendship that young Albrecht had formed with (y/n). And it hurt him to know that, however he responded, it wouldn't be easy for him. It's never easy to take the news of someone you care for abandoning you.

"It's probably best I tell you about this news alongside the captain. I don't want to have to repeat this twice," Gilbert sighed and placed a hand on Albrecht's shoulder, guiding him along as they made their way to find their commanding officer.

"She left? In the middle of the night?!" Captain Nikolaus said loudly, his eyes wide and mouth hanging open in a state of shock. His eyebrows nearly reached his hairline as he stood in the middle of his quarters, having just barely finished getting ready and dressed for the day. He gawked at the two who had knocked and entered his room. Whereas Gilbert stood there deadpan, Albrecht looked up at the albino knight, his face appearing heartbroken.

"But-But why would she leave?" Albrecht gasped. His eyes glistened with small, barely-there tears. It could be because of his emotions, but it could also be the result of the sunlight streaming into the room. It was hard to say. Gilbert braced himself before responding, his eyes closed, and fists clenched as they hung at his sides.

"You see, that's the other part of the news. When (y/n) left, she didn't leave alone. She and my brother fell in love. And so, they decided to run away. To be together," Gilbert spoke slowly and deliberately, choosing each word carefully. But it didn't matter how carefully he chose his words. The message was still the same.

For a brief moment, there was nothing but stunned silence. Even the birds went quiet, as if they too were shocked by the news. The one to break air was Captain Nikolaus, whose face began to contort. Switching between expressions of shock, confusion, and overall anger.

"So you mean to tell me that Gillen, who is not only one of our best knights, but our resident doctor, allowed himself to be seduced by Miss (l/n)?" His voice was low, but threatening, causing a shiver to cascade through Gilbert's entire body. Even Albrecht seemed unnerved.

"Well, I wouldn't use the word 'seduced'. But yes, Gillen is gone," Gilbert tried his best to remain stoic, hoping to not make the situation worse. He glanced over at Albrecht and used his head to gesture to the door, asking him to leave. Albrecht complied, but not without giving them one last teary-eyed look.

The captain's mouth moved, as if trying desperately, and failing, to find the words he wanted to say. Once Albrecht had finally left the room, he turned all of his attention to Gilbert. Taking a deep breath, he attempted to calm himself down from a potential burst of rage.

"You clearly knew about this. And we've been discussing our concerns regarding them for some time. So I cannot imagine you knew about this for long."

"That's correct," Gilbert told him. "I was actually worried about something like this happening for the past couple of days. So, I tried to keep an eye on them. I caught them at the stables last night, all packed and ready to go."

"And you allowed them to leave?" The captain's face began to go red, his anger just barely restrained. He was clearly trying his best to hold back.

Gilbert gulped. "Yes, sir," He relented. The captain took a few steps forward to stand practically toe to toe with Gilbert.

"Why?" Was all he asked, his voice hard and cold. A stark contrast to his usual warm and pleasant demeanor. It was here that Gilbert could finally see the rage burning within those dark blue eyes. It was almost terrifying.

"Be-Because," Gilbert cursed internally at his stuttering. "Th-They have their free will. They can do as they please."

"You are his older brother. Why did you not stop him? Is it not on you to be your brother's keeper? To hold him accountable for his sins?! To hold him accountable for deliberately deciding to run off and break his vows?! VOWS HE MADE WITH THE LORD!?" By the end of his words, Captain Nikolaus was yelling into his subordinate's face.

At this point, Gilbert was no longer able to hold his expression as he held his breath. His face was fearful as he stood in the shadow of his captain, bearing down on him. The captain spun around and walked to the other side of the room, pacing. The force of the movement nearly causing Gilbert to fall. Allowing himself to breath, Gibert watched the captain about to rage.

"We all know first aid, but Gillen was one of the best trained doctors this fortress has ever seen. And now he's off cavorting around with some faithless whore, carnally breaking every vow we have!" Captain Nikolaus fumed, waving his hands in the air.

"Don't you dare speak of her that way!" Gilbert finally snapped.

"I will speak of her however I like. Both of them!" The captain snapped back, this time storming forward and savagely grabbing Gilbert by the collar of his tunic. "And you do not speak to your captain that way. Am I clear?"

"(y-y/n) and my brother don't deserve to be spoken of like that. They are good people, and I believe they know the value of waiting for marri-"

The captain cut him off by shaking him and practically raising him in the air. "I do not recall asking about that traitor and his vile little-"

"I said don't speak of her like that!" Gilbert shouted, kicking his captain in the shin, causing him to stop and drop him. Gilbert landed on his feet, but only barely as the captain smacked him across the face. A bright red mark began to gradually appear on the left side of the knight's pale complexion.

"Am I to believe she has seduced you as well?" He asked darkly, glaring down at Gilbert.

"Never," Gilbert insisted, lightly touching the reddening spot on his face. My heart already lies somewhere else. Always has. I wonder what Liz would say if she saw me now. I must look pathetic.

"Then you should have no problem fetching them," Nikolaus walked past him and toward the door.

"Wait, what?" Gilbert's head spun around before walking after his captain, the latter of which stopped at the door and turned to face him.

"We need Gillen here at the fortress, as is his responsibility. Meanwhile, (y/n) will be sent off to a convent," His voice returned to his usual calm tone almost immediately, giving Gilbert whiplash at the sudden and eerie change in tone.

Gilbert shuddered. Has he always been like this? I've seen him angry before, but this is different.

"Gilbert, if you think you need time to prepare for your journey, then do so. But understand that the longer you wait, the better chance they have of getting away," The captain left with these words, striding out of the room and down the hall.

Gilbert stood at the doorway, watching the captain proceed in the direction of the dining hall. His heart was pounding in his chest, and his mind was racing from the intense confrontation. He could hardly describe what he was feeling. Anger? Fear? Sadness? Shock? Perhaps it was all four.

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

And so... The captain finally goes mask off. As always, please let me know your thoughts!

[cherubchoirs]

I am obsessed with this acended v1 idea now, a fallen angel and an acended machine!!! Please I want more thoughts on this I’m begging you

(see this!)

I KEEP THINKING ABOUT THEM TOO....i've of course talked about them a bit here, here, and here, BUT this lets me sort of give some miscellaneous thoughts i couldn't fit into those other asks!! of course i'm still formulating this part of the au so things are probably...very subject to change but they're on my mind in a big way....

first is the time gap that sort of happens here, with v1 taking years for gabriel to revive - he departs from hell a few days after its death, but ascending mount purgatory is difficult for a fallen angel, especially as he moves higher and higher. everything becomes more oppressive, his feet growing increasingly heavy as v1's body eventually feels like a lead weight in his arms. crossing lethe is treacherous as such - if he touches its waters, every memory will be wiped from his mind in an instant, and so he's required to leap from one bank to the other (assisted minimally by wings he hasn't taken out in years). and on the other end of eden, its sister eunoe threatens to burn him away (all sin is meant to be forgotten in this river, which would likely be highly detrimental to a fallen angel). so he vaults again, yet this journey was the easy one - he has all of heaven to traverse now, unable to teleport, unable to fly, but still finding some way to move between the spheres.

SO LIKE. THE GAME I GUESS BUT WITH GABRIEL IN HEAVEN KIND OF. he doesn't kill nearly as many angels as v1 does everything in hell, doing everything he in his power to threaten and scare them off rather than engage them for his sake and theirs. gabriel still cares for his old home, harboring no grudges for the people he once deeply loved and would have defended to his own death. yet he won't be stopped, he will kill if it comes down to it, and despite his exhaustion, despite an entire heaven hostile toward his very being, he's only grown stronger as they've become weaker. and so his travels take far more time than v1's descent, yet to find what he's looking for is what truly counts the years - gabriel walks through a ruined, broken heaven, a world no angels have touched since god disappeared, his vast kingdom crumbing outside the small inhabited islands. this is particularly true in the ninth sphere, yet gabriel goes alone into its unknown reaches to find what he needs...and eventually, likely in part following the lead of the other archangels, the others only let him go, let him search. fighting him is no longer worth it, not with the loss of life it incurs, and they see he truly means them no harm if he can help it.

and since those other asks covered the in-between here, risen v1 ideas!!! honestly, if v1 were to receive gabriel's light, it would be surprised how similar this still feels to being a machine - it's no wonder they understood each other so well. it is much better at recognizing emotion in itself and others, and art finally comes much easier for it, but otherwise its major adjustments are more how the divine interacts with the mechanical. v1 can now imbue things with light too, much like the ferryman's cloth but MUCH more powerful. v1's definitely already been given to playing with hell mass, but it absolutely panics when it does so, the same as it always has...and then it starts walking around!!!! it's alive!!!! it blasts it, instantly, but then it happens again and again and!!!!!! gabriel comes home one day to find a bunch of weird....bugs???? running around as v1 sits there in the middle of the floor, shaping yet another little creature in its hands for experimental replication purposes. the rest of the day is spent reckoning with v1's ability to grant life and gabriel stressing the GREAT responsibility of that - he is firmly against hell mass pets while v1 wants to make spore in real life.

in the same vein, there is simply a period where v1 is incredibly destructive. it always has been, naturally, but this is much less controlled, running loose with its new abilities and hurting itself quite severely more than once. there are times the power stresses its body to breaking point as v1 overuses it, leading to break downs that bring back a lot of bad memories for gabriel. however, on the flipside, their sparring matches are absolutely on another level for both of them now - v1 learns gabriel's old tricks, teleporting and using the light to construct any weapon it wants (it's VERY creative there lol) while gabriel is now a demon that could easily rival lucifer in his raw power and command of hell energy. they both feel a new burn fighting one another, something in their natures now antithetical to another; v1 feels the sullied corruption of a fallen angel's claws while gabriel's frozen body is electrified with molten gold every time he's struck by v1's light. and they're both absolutely wild for it lol after all this time, a new, almost forbidden dimension has been added to their battles and their love. ghosts of those feelings inhabit every touch as well, like a lingering threat for both of them for some time, and they both delight in it. they've got to be careful overdoing things for a bit because of it lol

[wheretheharekissesthefox]

Baby, don't run, you're breaking my heart

After spending the winter months with Astarion, Gale, Shadowheart, and Tav, Halsin gets cold feet and runs off.

(Trigger warning (18+): graphic description of sex, smut, angst, fluff, the feels, character study)

Notes:

This is a direct continuation of 'Tav's sex parade'. You don't need to read the latter to get this story, but it would help the deeper meaning and understanding of it.

To avoid confusion: In one of my other fanfics, Halsin and Tav had named the owlbear cup Naïlo, which means 'night breeze' in the Elven language.

Another fic is mentioned.

Halsin had run off.

He'd spent a wonderful winter season with his lovers. Four months of good food, the best company, and shameless, hot sex. And then, pure fear had gripped him and he'd fled head over heels.

Now, the former archdruid sat in a shabby tavern, surrounded by drunkards, in bumfuck nowhere and contemplated to drown his guilt in alcohol once more. He'd sworn never to drink again, but today he was tempted for the first time in over eighty years.

With a deep sigh, Halsin hid his face in his hands and groaned. He was angry.

Why am I such a coward? he asked himself. Why do I disappoint the ones I love and care about over and over again? Why can't I be a better man?

"Are you going to order something soon, or will you keep wallowing in self-pity?" asked the tavern keeper slightly annoyed. "You're occupying a precious seat for more business-friendly customers."

"Apologies," Halsin muttered and stood up. "I'm giving the seat to someone else."

The tavern keeper grunted with a nod. The wood elf walked towards the door, but was stopped by a pretty woman.

"Hey, handsome, would you like to join me tonight? I'd love to be held down by all these muscles."

The addressed forced a polite smile onto his face.

"Thank you for the offer, I'm flattered, but I need to go somewhere."

"Oh, I see." The woman looked disappointed. "Enjoy your night then."

"You too. I'm truly sorry for declining."

Halsin rushed out of the door, his heart ached. The woman didn't have broad shoulders and freckles like Tav, nor long silver hair and a scar across her nose like Shadowheart.

Two days after leaving Gale's tower house in Waterdeep, the druid had slept with a stranger – and he hadn't found any joy in it. Three days later, when he'd gotten propositioned again, he hadn't even been able to get it up. Thus, he couldn't forget his self-loathing through alcohol nor sex. Not anymore. Not like back then.

Halsin had reached the woods and lay down in his makeshift tent, which was more like a taut tarpaulin than anything else, and closed his eyes as they filled with tears.

He was a coward. Afraid of losing people and afraid of disappointing them. Some called it commitment issues, but that wasn't it. He feared he was not enough for his partners, especially for Tav, and he couldn't contribute equal parts to their relationship. He was scared of screwing everything up eventually. He always did.

Oak Father, preserve me. Please, give me strength and courage. I have to make this right. What I have, what I found... I can't give it up. Don't want to. Please, Oak Father, I beg you; let me have a place again where I belong. I want to belong again.

Halsin rolled into a ball, making himself as small as possible, as he cried himself to sleep.

Tav was angry – no, furious, but also sad, hurt, and slightly disappointed. She'd never thought Halsin would just leave them – her – without an explanation or farewell.

"Come on, dear, drink your lavender tea," encouraged Morena, Gale's mother, and slid the sandwich tray closer to the bard.

The latter sighed unhappily, rubbed her forehead, and took a sip from her teacup. For her quasi mother-in-law's sake, she grabbed a small sandwich and took a bite. It was topped with ham, soft Waterdhavian cheese and fresh cress. Gale loved to prepare sandwiches for their afternoon tea break.

"There, there," hummed Morena, looking pleased. "With a filled tummy, the world looks less grim."

"You're right about that, Miss Dekarios," purred Tara, her little mouth smeared with cream cheese.

Tav sighed again, a bit too theatrical, and glared at the sandwich in her hand. Morena gave her a look.

"Oh, please. Don't exaggerate about this. Halsin's gone for two months already. And it's not like you have no lovers left."

"You don't understand, Morena, I love him. I love them all! Equally. Whole-heartedly. It's out of character for Halsin to just leave wordlessly. I have no idea why he left. Was it something I did? Something I didn't do? Is it a personal issue? I don't understand why he didn't talk to me. I'm seriously worried about him."

"I understand very well what you mean," the addressed replied calmly. "But your bad mood and worries don't solve the issue, do they? There are exactly two things you can do: search for him, or let him go. The choice is yours, Tav, but don't forget what's right in front of you. Chasing things you can't reach, never ends well. My son's a prime example for this – and you know it."

The bard grimaced but nodded.

"Still, I'm worried about Halsin," she muttered, rotating the teacup in her hands.

"He broke your heart," the sorceress stated pragmatically, "and you want an answer to the question why."

Tav nodded again and took another sip of tea. The lavender tried its damn best to calm her emotional turmoil, but it just wasn't working enough. The bard set her jaw, explaining: "I can't simply leave it like this. I want to find Halsin and talk to him. I need to know why he left."

"Ran away, more like," Morena muttered into her teacup, and Tara nodded in agreement.

Tav glared at them.

"That wasn't normal behaviour for him. The Halsin I know would have never done this!"

"And yet he did, dear. People are unpredictable – and selfish. Sometimes, you just have to accept your fate."

"Never!" Tav squeezed out between clenched teeth.

Morena sighed deeply.

"Incorrigible, these romantics."

Unbothered, she took another sip from her cup, while Tav was about to explode. She stood up, slamming her palm onto the tabletop, and hissed: "I'll find him – no matter if you, or anyone else, approves of it! He's worth it!"

Fuming, Tav stomped out of the kitchen.

"Don't forget our meeting tomorrow morning, dear!" Morena sing-songed amused. "The Sorcerous Sundries in Baldur's Gate has finally reopened after you killed the previous owner!"

"He was a prick!" shouted Gale from his study, making his mother chuckle and Tav snort a laugh.

"Don't worry, I'll be ready at nine," sighed the latter then, smiling slightly.

Tav had to give it to Morena; she'd been right about her prediction about spending a lovely day together. They'd portalled to Baldur's Gate with Gale and Shadowheart and browsed through the assortment of the reopened magic shop. Afterwards, they'd lunch at the Blushing Mermaid before portalling back to Waterdeep. It had been a nice distraction from the misery Tav felt since Halsin had left, but it wasn't gone, obviously. Also, she hadn't found what she'd been looking for at the Sorcerous Sundries.

"Do you have something that keeps me from burning in the sun?" she'd asked. "My skin's rather delicate."

"Unfortunately, we don't have anything like this in our gigantic assortment," had the wizard’s magical projection replied. "But you may be interested in sunburn reliever."

Tav had declined politely. She wasn't looking for something for herself actually, but for a certain someone.

Patience, she told herself. Maybe, I'll find what I'm searching for one day. – I hope I will.

Halsin lay on the mossy forest floor with his eyes closed and his palms against the ground. He felt Mother Nature's energy flow up through the soil into his body and back down. The druid breathed slowly and deeply, focusing on releasing everything that didn't serve him or was too much. Nature could use his excess energy to create something beautiful. Meanwhile, the new energy Halsin drew from her, cleansed and rejuvenated him. His thoughts drifted away after a while and he pondered about his next move. What should he do? How could he fix what he'd broken? The wood elf sighed and opened his eyes, gazing at the green canopy above him.

Oak Father, speak to me, he pleaded. I don't know what to do.

Two squirrels chased each other through the trees until they stopped and started to mate. Halsin looked away to give them some privacy.

That's not the sign I need, Silvanus, he thought, huffing a bitter laugh.

The druid sighed again. He felt tired, heavy, burnt out. He wanted to move, but couldn't get himself to do it.

I must pull myself together, he scolded himself. I won't feel any better if I keep lying here.

A fox dashed across the clearing, light-footed. Bypassing tripping hazards and elegantly jumping over the small creek. Halsin observed it.

Agile and clever like a fox. Fast and fearless like a squirrel. Thank you, Oak Father.

Tav couldn't sleep and she felt guilty. Astarion, Gale and Shadowheart tried their best to cheer her up and emotionally support her to overcome her heartbreak. Shadowheart didn't let it show on her face, but she was hurting too. Sometimes, Tav caught her staring at the honey pot in the kitchen teary-eyed.

Now, the bard was sandwiched between the cleric and the wizard who were sleeping soundly. Carefully, she wiggled her way out of their embraces, hoping not to wake them, and pattered to the kitchen. On the way, she checked on Scratch, Naïlo, and Tara who slept on the carpet and pillows in front of the fireplace, tightly entangled. The tressym purred in her sleep, enthroned on top of the owlbear's fluffy, feathery flank, who hooted lowly with every exhale, and the dog's paws twitched while he was dreaming of chasing something (probably a pigeon in the park), while snuggled up against Naïlo's belly. Tav smiled and left them alone. She walked downstairs to Astarion's basement room, but the vampire was still on his nightly stroll through the city. Sighing, the bard moved to the kitchen to brew tea. She studied the one dozen tea caddies.

For sleep and to soothe the nerves, hmm... Chamomile, lavender, and valerian. Morena would be proud that I remember her herbology lessons.

Just as she grabbed the caddy with lavender, she heard the low hum of the magic barrier of the front door. Gale had enchanted it to inform them when someone was at the door, who wasn't knocking. Furrowing her brows, Tav walked to the entrance hallway, curious who it could be. It wasn't Astarion, that's for sure, he had a key. The bard stopped before the door, staring at it. It was still humming lowly. She took a deep breath and opened the door. Halsin sat on the doorstep, staring at her wide-eyed, surprised and shocked in equal measure. Tav blinked at him dumbly.

"Halsin?"

"Uhm, hello, Tav. I uh - It's the middle of the night and I didn't want to wake anyone. Also, I- I don't know what to say."

The druid looked embarrassed and sheepish, squeezing his hands together.

"I definitely need that lavender tea now," the bard stated, still overwhelmed.

Halsin looked up at her, those hazel eyes big and pleading.

"Tea?"

His breath left a puff of air in the cold spring night. His hair was dripping wet from the rain. Tav opened the door wider.

"Come in. It would be a shame if you'd freeze to death or catch pneumonia due to the rain. My parents would be mortified to know I've turned into such an unfriendly, heartless host."

Hastily, the druid scrambled onto his feet and lifted up his luggage. Hesitantly, he entered Gale's tower house, dripping water onto the doormat.

"Stay here, I'll grab a towel," Tav told him. "And don't you dare leave before we've exchanged a single word."

Embarrassed, Halsin lowered his head. He did feel the urge to flee, but he didn't move a millimetre. He had to put it right again. Tav returned quickly with a towel and some clothes. The druid thanked her and got dry and dressed.

"Come on. Are you hungry?"

"Yes," mumbled the addressed, the tips of his ears blushing in embarrassment.

You can't even feed yourself properly, you idiot, scolded the mean voice in his head, and Halsin shook himself to clear his mind.

He tentatively entered the kitchen, sat down at the table, and observed how Tav grabbed a tray of sandwiches from the pantry which was glowing purple.

"Gale enchanted the cupboard so that the food doesn't go bad," Tav explained. As always, she had interpreted his facial expression and body language correctly. She was particularly talented at that. Halsin wondered if it had something to do with her profession.

The bard put the plate down in front of him and brew the tea. The faint smell of lavender wafted through the kitchen and Halsin inhaled deeply, hoping it would calm his nerves. Tav filled two cups with tea and sat down opposite him. Her green-brown eyes studied him, her brows were slightly furrowed in concentration. It was unnerving and Halsin fidgeted around on the chair. Tav took a sip from her cup, then, she took a deep breath, and asked, way too calmly: "Why?"

The druid stared into his tea, working his clenched jaw. 'Why?'. Such a simple question, and he had no idea how to answer it. How to explain his action. Himself.

"I -," he began, voice cracking miserably. "I don't know. I mean, I do know, but I don't know how to explain it. I - I'm so sorry, my heart."

Tav inhaled sharply.

"Don't call me that," she whispered. "Don't call me that if you don't mean it. Don't play with me, Halsin."

"I mean it," the druid replied, feeling ice-cold dread filling his veins. He grabbed her hand on the table. His was clammy, hers warm. "I mean it. I- I screwed it up."

Angrily, Tav stood up, her eyes aflame.

"Yes, you did! Spectacularly! Why, Halsin? Don't you trust me? I thought you'd tell me if something's wrong."

"Of course, I trust you! That's the problem," Halsin replied, getting up himself. "I entrust you with my life – and it scares the shit out of me!"

Tav shook her head. Anger, hurt, and sadness showed on her face. She was so easy to read, like an open book. What if she would send him away now? What if she couldn't forgive him? Halsin swallowed, trembled. His fear had him in a chokehold. But, instead of moving away, Tav stepped closer.

"Kiss me. Please," she whispered, looking up at him.

A shiver ran down Halsin's spine as he took a step forward, bent down, and kissed her like a starving man. He held onto her, with one hand around her biceps and the other on her neck. Tasting her, smelling her. It was so much better than in his memories. He traced the bite mark at the nape of her neck with his fingers, remembering how he'd left it there and how she'd let him mark her so willingly. Halsin broke the kiss when he tasted saltwater.

"No, please. Don't stop," pleaded Tav with tears streaming down her face. "Please, Halsin, don't run away again. It broke my heart."

The addressed swallowed, staring at her. He'd never seen Tav cry before.

No matter what had happened and what awful things they'd gone through, she'd been solid like a rock. She'd been there for Astarion after he'd killed Cazador. Had held him tight and consoled him. She'd had enough faith and trust in him to let him drink from her every night since basically day one. She'd encouraged Shadowheart to free herself from Shar and the pain that the goddess had inflicted on her. Had hugged her and had mumbled soothingly. She'd promised Karlach to get her and Wyll out of Avernus. Had comfort her with words since she hadn't been able to touch the tiefling. She'd convinced Gale to not comply to Mystra's wishes to blow himself up. Instead, she'd helped him get the Crown of Karsus from the Netherbrain so that he could hand it to the Goddess of Magic and got freed from the Orb in his chest. She'd help him lift the Shadow Curse. Had welcomed him into her found family. Tav had helped them all. She had made them whole again, had helped them heal. To start anew. And he had screwed it up. He had made her cry.

"I'm deeply sorry, Tav. My heart," said Halsin. "I never intended to hurt you."

He kissed her again and she sobbed, wrapping her arms around him. The druid sighed. Finally, he felt her strong body against his again, saw the rosy, freckled skin again, those green-brown eyes, and that awful, short haircut. He'd missed her and he loved her – so much.

When they parted, they leaned their foreheads together, and Halsin said: "What we have, no, what you gave me, is too precious to give up. It's worth fighting for. I was a coward. Fear overwhelmed me and I didn't know how to deal with it. It's true; I trust you more than anyone else, but it scares me. For the first time in decades, I'm in love with someone, opened my heart for you, and I'm scared I'll screw it up, you'll leave me, or I'm not good enough for you. I haven't committed to a relationship in such a long time, because every time I did, it came back to bite me in the arse, or something terrible happened. I can't go through this again. I can't have my heart broken for the dozens time. But by fearing for my own heart's safety, I broke yours, and I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me."

"Yes," nodded Tav, holding him close. "Always."

Halsin felt like crying and kissed her again, desperately. They held each other close and cried freely. It felt good to let it out.

"I missed you so much," sniffed Tav. "Don't you ever do that again! I know you're a free spirit and you can't be hold down. That's why I let you go, why I'm not jealous, and why I'm happy with our arrangement. I have multiple lovers and so do you. 'Let our hearts roam freely', you once said and I agree. But please, talk to me before you run away because it's too much to bear for you. Whatever you want, whatever bothers you, I'll understand and I'll let you go, but please, come back to me and don't leave me without a word again."

"I promise," whispered Halsin, squeezing his eyes shut. "I promise, my heart. I'll never cause you heartache again."

"Good."

Tav took his hand and led him towards the kitchen counter. There, she discharged her nightgown and started fumbling with his trousers. Suddenly in a frenzy, Halsin pulled the shirt over his head in one smooth motion and stepped out of the trousers. They kissed again before the bard hopped up onto the counter. Halsin already panted in anticipation, excited to feel her body against his again and taste her skin. He slid his hands under her buttocks and kissed her as he thrust into her. Tav moaned, wrapping her legs and arms around him. Halsin kissed her neck and started a steady pace. For a while, they kissed and panted against each other's necks. Then, Tav let go of him, placed her arms behind her and leaned back. The druid groaned and kissed her sternum. Moaning, Tav lolled her head back.

"You're beautiful as always, my heart," Halsin told her. "And it fills me with immeasurable joy to know that you wear my bite mark with such pride. I love you, more than you can imaging."

"I love you too, Halsin," Tav panted.

She pulled him closer with one arm to kiss him again. He happily complied and started to rub her pubic mound with his talented fingers. The bard mewled, clenching around him and making him groan. He spilled into her while moaning into her mouth. She followed him over the edge noisily and tightened her powerful legs around him. Halsin loved it and would have happily died between those muscular thighs, Oak Father, preserve him.

"Get a room, you filthy animals, Gods!" Astarion grinned, leaning against the doorframe while watching them shamelessly as they were basking in the afterglow of their orgasm.

The addressed snickered, slightly embarrassed that they were caught in the act. The vampire spawn's smirk turned into a soft smile when he said: "So, our druid has returned and the issues are resolved, I hope?"

"Yes," Tav answered and Halsin nodded against her shoulder.

"Wonderful," sighed Astarion. "Now, we can only hope that our darling bard won't sulk anymore."

"I wasn't sulking, I was dealing with heartbreak."

"Same thing, darling, same thing. Goodnight, sweet dreams," lilted Astarion and twirled around. "Oh, and druid? Don't think you can get away without an explanation. Shadowheart cried her eyes out as well, but presented herself strongly for Tav's sake."

With a shit-earing grin on his face and a nonchalant wave, the vampire spawn made his way to the living room. Halsin groaned conscience-smitten.

"I'm sorry I caused such a ruckus. I guess I can't avoid explaining myself. The others will eat me alive."

"They love you," Tav replied, stroking his hair. "They'll only eat you in the bedroom."

At that, Halsin chuckled and warmth bloomed in his chest. He and Tav freshened up in the bathroom and then, walked to the bedchamber. The cleric and the wizard had moved in their sleep, basically resting in each other's arms. Carefully, Halsin climbed into the bed and spooned up behind Shadowheart, wrapping an arm around her middle and pulling her close, while Tav snuggled up against his back.

"I love you," she mumbled, kissing his shoulder.

The druid smiled sleepily.

"I love you too."

Shortly after, Astarion joined them too. He slipped in behind Gale and rested his head against his back. He took a deep breath, inhaling the smell of lavender soap, and smiled.

"Halsin? Please, use your elf brain next time and not your bear brain," Astarion told the other man. "Let’s not cause any more heartache and misery."

"Yes," the druid agreed. "I'm sorry."

"I know," remarked the vampire spawn. "Let’s just make our lovers happy, shall we? And in the process, we'll make ourselves happy too."

Halsin hummed, smiling.

"You belong here, you know? You're family. So, don't just run off. – I never thought I have to tell you this, but here we are; we love you, Halsin."

Swallowing thickly, the druid nodded.

"I love you too," he croaked out, close to tears again.

"Rest now, druid. It's good you're home."

"Thank you, little vampire. I'm happy to be back."

Astarion hummed, snuggling up closer to Gale who sighed happily in his sleep. Halsin closed his eyes again, willing his body into relaxation. He felt warm and comfortable with Shadowheart in his arms and Tav at his back. Astarion was right; it was good to be home.

[kosmic-arts]

It is Once Again Time To Complain About Things That Don't Matter

358/2 days is definitely one of the better written kh games, but don't let that fool you. its not like the bar was very high to begin with (i am only partially joking).

i love days, but there is so much wasted time and space in that game. i despise how much characters fainting, falling asleep, having amnesia, and gotdamn brainblasts, are constantly used as plot devices because the writers don't know how to organically move characters along to the next plot point(this goes for all of kh, not even just days). the entire novelty of days is getting to play on the bad guy's side while getting an intimate look at all the cool badass org members, and yet you hardly get to know any of them over the course of the game. barely any time is taken to flesh them out, which is a complete travesty btw, and even axel- who is one of the major supporting characters- ultimately takes a backseat to roxas and xion's emotional angst. its good emotional angst, but theres no reason for it to overwhelm the entire game. and honestly, even roxas himself takes a backseat to xion's even bigger emotional angst! roxas hardly gets to know who or what he is, whats going on, or what for. roxas is a complete passenger, and as time goes on i struggle to see the value in that, even if it does feed into the overall themes of his story and his own emotional angst.

because, look: xion was a passenger as well; she had no choice in her situation, only the illusion of one that riku offered her. and yet, she still was allowed a moment of agency. roxas tried to do the same after xion's death by going to kill the organization(which frankly, he could've killed every last one of them- get real), riku stops him and refuses to explain or reason with roxas to get him to consider another way. riku just proceeds to taunt him. whwhy i find it hilarious that riku took pity on xion because she reminded him of kairi, but the guy who's literally his best friend's nobody whom he is currently fighting to save-... he acts like a bitch to, and refuses to give him any of the same consideration that he gave to the girl. what the fuck is that

what is with the complete and utter disrespect of roxas in his own game- >>specifically<< by the people who should be his allies. remember that bit at the end of days where roxas is about to leave and confronts axel for answers, and practically pours his heart out begging axel to help him?? axel refuses to tell him who sora is and that he’s sora’s nobody, etc. ok.. maybe he’s afraid of getting shot by the organization because it’s classified information. no, fuck that. its a major part of axel’s character is that he puts his own desires and wants before his job or duty. and! he also cares a great deal about his friends, even above his own wellbeing. he helps xion escape the organization when he was on that mission with xigbar. he didn’t even have an excuse to protect himself when xigbar interrogated him for letting xion go- axel could’ve gotten shot then and there for helping the traitor. he straight up put his neck on the chopping block for xion’s sake.

so then, why now with roxas, does he refuse to do anything at all to help him? he’s done shit before like lie to roxas in a vain attempt to make him happy- axel cares about him! he wants to help him, especially when hes sad- and in this final moment, roxas is in complete despair. axel could’ve very easily been like “well i cant tell you,, but maybe some other guy could… uh idk his name starts with an R”. god almighty it would’ve been so easy to just nudge roxas in a direction while still covering for himself if he was still worried about that. but no, completely out of character, axel just abandons roxas to possible execution(of which he would likely be the one to carry out) by the org for rebelling, without even giving roxas the slightest lifeline to find the answers that he deserves.

man i just lost the entire topic going on an whole ass side tangent…. what even was the topic to begin with idk im complaining about days. i'll proceed with a spicy hot take! get ready. when xion died, all memory and evidence of her existence shouldn't have been erased. yes. as depressing of an idea as it is- like, her friends aren't even allowed the luxury of cherishing her memory when she's gone, i think we all know why it was a bad move in the long run. xion getting wiped from existence was a poorly veiled excuse to avoid having to explain why nobody talks about her in other games- while also just straight up being able to get away without really mentioning 99% of what happens in 358/2 days to begin with. even as a kid i knew this was shit and i still think it's shit now, and the fact they had to pull a memory wipe trick like this is even more proof that the writers of kh are absolutely abysmal at tying their stories together or thinking ahead at all. or more like, they shot themselves in the foot daring to implement important plot details into spin-off titles in the first place. chain of memories started this trend, and even that game had to pull the memory wipe trick at the end of the game so as to not stunt players who didn't happen to own both a ps2 and a gba.

its a really asinine trend that has indisputably ruined kh with each installment. like, you can't be serious. in order to understand the main villian's(xehanort) motivations, i have to play 2 games and a casino, to have a full understanding as to why this old fuck wants to blow everyone up. for the longest time, i didn't understand why xehanort was concocting this decade long masterplan to attain kingdom hearts, UNTIL i happened upon the kh wiki. this is so sad you cant make this shit up you can figure out within the space of kh1 why ansem wants kingdom hearts. he's a power hungry mad scientist that went batshit insane in pursuit of knowledge. a classic victor frankenstien-esque character archetype. its so easy! I understood that without issue even as a child. too bad they couldn't just do that again with the next major villian! tbf, even xemnas' goals were extremely simple-...... until they added in the bit where he was lying to the entire org about them not having hearts or the ability to feel and yadayada... what was he trying to accomplish with that stunt again? don't get me started how stupid xemnas lying is. you've gotta be shitting me. like, are you saying that intelligent scientists like zexion and vexen wouldn't figure out such an obvious lie? what about lexaeus? luxord? really?? these aren't stupid people. at least one of them would have figured it out. would've been a good opportunity to give marluxia a reason to have been trying to pull a coup(besides wanting power???) because he figured out xemnas was a manipulative fuck and marluxia decided to take initiative and overthrow him. i love marluxia, but damn, the entire time i was playing com i had no idea what the fuck his motivations were.. why does he want to take over the organization... was that ever mentioned? …huh

but wait wait, i just went on another massive side tangent. i want to go back to talking about xion. i would've much preferred if we got to see moments of roxas and axel struggling to come to terms with losing one of their only friends. like, how would axel handle being completely powerless to save her, and frankly unable to even be there in her final moments? maybe he would've turned on the organization much sooner, because how could he ever continue working for the group that split him apart from the 2 people that really matter to him. that'd be interesting. roxas could eventually cool down, and simmer into a depression AND NOT GET THROWN INTO A SHITTY SIMULATION BECAUSE RIKU SHOULDVE BEEN NICER TO HIM. huh what- and maybe roxas might feel inclined to give up, but meeting with namine could be some reassurance to him because she tells him all that stuff about how he won't disappear and there's hope for nobodies like them!! honestly, just seeing the characters having to grapple with the pain of their past and actually talk about it instead of vaguely wincing about things they feel but can't remember would've been so much better. i get it, it's a mildly entertaining trope- characters suffering emotional wounds they don't remember receiving, or acting in strange ways in deference to old traditions they can no longer recall... yeah i get the appeal, but it doesn't make for a very strong story in the long run, especially with an event as major as xion's sacrifice. why can't characters be allowed to grow from their past and have character development. i like it when a character's history influences them in meaningful ways that isn't entirely superficial.

heck man, idk. you get the point. days is full of amazing ideas and has a fantastic premise, but like all things in kh, it struggles to hold up as soon as you examine it with the barest amount of scrutiny. thanks for coming to my ted talk.