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eatbrick · 11 months ago

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old man's favorite.

pt. one

( not edited. )

note : i..did something and..i..i..just take me to hoe county prison at this point..

again, no hate please! i don’t appreciate it nor will i tolerate it. thank you!! ♥️♥️

summary : post-shibuya incident \\ naobito is alive in my delulu

pairing : zen’in naobito x fem!reader

warnings : physical abuse (mentioned)

—

two months passed.

zen’in naobito has shut everyone off and the only time he was seen was to redress the burnt wounds from the shibuya incident. the servants have said the wounds were healing, but the process was extremely slow. there were days when he would yell for them to get out or leave and would throw the gourds against the thin walls of the zen’in household to be left alone.

it’s understandable for him to be angry. it’s no different than the times before the shibuya incident occured. just this time, it felt different.

it felt quiet.

empty. lonely.

—

ryomen sumiko felt something weird since she visited the zen’in clan. she felt anxious to see naobito again after she was sent to america sixteen years ago. it was like every time she thought about him, her heart beats over and over. it felt wrong, but yet, felt good in a terrible way possible.

it was kept secret about her technique. too dangerous upon use and highly deadly to anyone who’s targeted of it. the two-six figures of eight cursed technique should not have ever been created to any sorcerer if they were given the opportunity to learn it. its demonic technique gives its person the skill to strip part its target into pieces and have the devil’s servants rise in the figures of eight as objects that defy as a human being but doesn’t appear as one. the demons rise above in such a eerie matter that brings chills upon the targets skin creating massive fear.

once targeted, there will only be one out of a tenth chance to get out of technique.

without much knowledge of her inheriting the cursed technique, her memory was wiped from the ability of knowing how to conjure the skill and use it.

—

now twenty, sumiko had been adamant on wanting to go back to japan. the unreasonable miss of the zen’in clan was enough to be waited for and to go back home. after learning english in america and going to school, sumiko has finally flied back.

smiling to herself, sumiko wonders how naobito is doing.

—

naobito was drunk as usual, drinking sake and not caring what goes on around the household of the zen’in clan neglecting his duties and responsibilities as the twenty-sixth head of the zen’in sorcerer family.

suddenly, he hears soft footsteps stomping and the giggling noises of a child as if running away from someone.

naobito hums in confusion and just as he slides the shoji doors, a child trips in front of him.

“ what do you think you’re doing running around, child? ” naobito observes the child. long dark-colored hair, cheeks tinted red, and crocodile tears rolling down the side of both cheeks.

“ sumiko!! sumiko, there you are! i’ve been looking all over for you! what happens if you disturb master naobito? ” a servant had found the little child. just as they know it, naobito stood before them.

the servant gasps in horror and apologies. “ m-master naobito!! i-i my sincere apologies for disturbing you! ”

bowing down, the servant whispers to the child. “ sumiko, apologize for disturbing the master at once!! ”

“ s-sorry i disturbed you. ” little sumiko’s chin was red from the fall. “ i just wanted chan-chan to chase after me. ” she confessed.

chan-chan? the servant? naobito thought. “ what’s your name, you good for nothing child? ”

“ sumiko. ” she sniffles again. “ ryomen sumiko. ”

naobito freezes. his eyes widen by the surname. so this is the child that inherited the two-six figures of eight technique?

naobito scoffs, “ i will pretend that this never happened. if you disturb me again, you will think twice about pulling that stupid stunt. am i clear? ”

“ thank you, master naobito! i apologise! ” the servant replied.

sumiko only looked down at her lap and at her scraped knees that were now bleeding, while soflty sniffling from the pain not too long ago.

“ i wasn’t talking to you. i was talking to her. ” naobito retorted.

“ s-sorry, i didn’t mean to. ” she whimpered. as she looked up at naobito, more tears began to spill, in fear to what he would do.

naobito seemed to be intrigued by the young sumiko. he rolled his eyes as the appearance of a child crying in front of him. but yet, he felt a pang in his heart seeing the child upset.

a cloth was soon thrown on top of sumiko’s head.

“ cry somewhere else. it’s hurting my eyes.”

—

“ where did she run off to now? ”

“ how dare she take one the tea cakes!? those are for master naobito! ”

“ oh no! we’re going to be thrown into the cursed pit! ”

naobito chuckles hearing the low-life servants exclaim in fear. as naobito takes another gulp of sake from his gourd one the shoji doors slid softly.

“ get out. i don’t wish to be disturbed by you low-lives. ”

“ … ”

“ what did i say? i said– ”

naobito was cut off as he turnt around, not expecting a child in front of him.

young sumiko had bandaids on her knees and one on her chin.

he chuckles. “ do you not remember what happened last time, child? i clearly– ”

“ thank you for the cloth. ” sumiko softly said. naobito’s eyes widen again. he looks down at her hands as she raises them up to him.

it was the cloth folded nicely and a plate of the tea cakes. sumiko looked away not wanting to see the look on his face.

are those the tea cakes those low-lives were talking about? naobito thought.

“ are you just going to stand there all day long until i take those? or are you going to leave? ” naobito asks.

“ th-this isn’t mine. so i’m giving it back. ”

naobito laughs loudly, “ would you be thankful if i took the cloth back? ”

sumiko looked him in the eyes. “ yes. ”

“ and i’m guessing the tea cakes you stole from the kitchen are for me too? ”

her face turns red as she was caught red-handed from stealing the masters desserts.

“ y-yes. ” she quietly said.

“ how do i know you didn’t poison them? ”

her eyes widen at the accusation. “ i di-didn’t, i swear! ” her eyes almost started to tear up.

again, naobito only laughed. “ you’re such a gullible child. but i shouldn’t be surprised since you’re only what, six? ”

sumiko looked down at the cloth and plate of tea cakes she was holding for naobito. “ i’m seven. ”

“ close enough. ” naobito said softly. “ set those down on the table and go on your way. ”

as sumiko sets the plate of desserts down, her stomach starts to grumble. her eyes widen at the sound of her stomach growling loud as much as possible even for naobito to hear.

he was amused by such a loud noise coming from the child in front of him.

“ where is that stupid child!? ”

“ her punishment is going to be worse than master naobito’s! ”

sumiko’s look of worry was shown and the fear of being found by the servants as they searched for her.

has she not eaten? he thought.

“ sumiko!! ” the servants called out.

“ you can hide here for the meantime. ” naobito says.

“ huh? ” young sumiko replied back. “ a-are you sure? ”

naobito hummed, taking another swig of the gourd. “ sit down, relax, and enjoy the moment of silence. ” he said sarcastically, even inches away sumiko could smell the sake off from his breath. he was totally starting to get drunk again.

two hours had passed. the servants had still called for her and the sun was starting to go down. sumiko was trying to fight the sleep that was bound to win. her head kept on falling down, but she fought back up. nothing could have helped, considering her stomach had growled again from the lack of food.

sumiko frowned. she didn’t want to get yelled at, nor did she want to leave also. she found it quite peaceful in the master’s room.

the door she opened had a crack to let in the golden hour shine through and hear the dung beetles sing consistently.

naobito either hicupped, burped, or yawned during the hours of silence. it was like he didn’t care or mind that she was there; or he didn’t bother of her existence.

“ if i hear another growl from your stomach, i’m going to kick you out. ”

sumiko froze and was stiff in an instant. “ s-sorry. i’ll make it stop. ”

“ and how would you do that? ”

the next thing that happened was what shocked naobito.

“ hmph!! ” sumiko whimpered. with one punch to the stomach, her eyes start to water, but she furiously wipes them away remembering that naobito didn’t like the sight of it.

her stomach growled again. her lips quiver and hated to hit her stomach again to stop making noises. with almost another contact of her fist to her stomach she was stopped.

“ don’t ever hit your stomach again. if you were hungry, all you had to do was ask. ” suddenly the table that she earlier set the plate of tea cakes were in front of her and a kettle, most likely filled with sake.

however, sumiko declined shaking her head. “ i will not eat your tea cakes. they are for you, since i brought them. ”

naobito was starting to get annoyed. were those piece of shits of a servant the cause of this?

“ tell me, how did you get those bruises? ” naobito questioned.

“ i fell down. ”

“ i won’t ask again. tell me the truth. ” he sternly said.

quietly, sumiko answers, “ madame ohk’i punished me for dropping a plate of your desserts from yesterday. ”

“ you did not answer my question. ”

sumiko’s stomach growled. she thought if her stomach growled again, she wouldn’t live to see the daylights. at the thought, her eyes water. “ after dropping your desserts, they hit me in the shins and wrists. that way i shall remember to not be clumsy to trip and drop anything. ”

“ and explain the reason your stomach has been growling. ”

“ after they hit me, i was told i wouldn’t be able to eat until i give you the plate of desserts without tripping or dropping it next time. ” sumiko sniffled.

naobito hummed in response and drinked again. without noticing until after, he pushes the table towards her again but closer. she realized that the kettle was not filled with sake, but freshly warm brewed tea.

“ eat. and i don’t mean to only take one bite, eat all of it. ”

“ i– ”

“ if i hear another lame ass excuse, i’m going to kick you out. ”

as she grabs one of the desserts off from the plate, she softly takes a bite of it. tasting the flavor, her mouth started to water. she quickly took larger bites out of the desserts. while eating, she notices a cup of tea in front of her with a hand holding it.

looking towards where the mysterious hand, it was naobito’s. he filled the cup with tea and handed it to sumiko.

“ drink before you choke and die on my watch. ”

young sumiko started to tear up again and her doe eyes stared back at him.

“ you better not cry. i will kick you out. ”

—

sumiko sighs. i wonder if i can see him again..

getting out of bed, young sumiko heads to the kitchen to grab another plate of dessert for naobito. with only one or two encounters with the older man, she seems to find some comfort being there with him.

“ you stupid boy ,” sumiko hears naobito said to someone else, “ have i not taught you enough to inherit my technique? it’s obvious that you did not learn at all. now, get the hell out, you disappointment. ”

sumiko frowned knowing she came by at the wrong time. she was beginning to leave until the doors immediately opened from the other side. even with soft footsteps, you could hear them touch the wooden floors ever so quietly.

“ what do you want, child? ” naobito announced.

she froze wondering how he knew she was on the other side. sumiko soon walked to the opening of the shoji and entered in.

“ are you wanting something from me? c’mon what is it? ” he asked sumiko. she only stood ther in front of him with the plate of desserts as before. sumiko bit her inner lip, awkward in the moment not knowing what her answer is to his question.

“ i don’t want anything. ”

“ i realize that you’ve never called me ‘master’ just like the low-lives. why’s that? ”

“ i don’t know what to call you, exactly. ” she answered.

and always, naobito hummed in response. “ call me ‘old man’ or ‘naobito’. consider it for the day you gave me my plate of desserts and today. ”

sumiko looked up at him. “ can i ask you a question? ”

“ you just did, child. ”

“ oh. uh, who was that boy you were talking to? ”

“ naoya, you ask? ”

so that’s his name. naoya.

“ who is he? ”

naobito scoffed, “ he? he’s nothing but a disappointment. a disappointment of a child, that’s mine. ”

“ he’s your son? ”

“ unfortunately. ”

young sumiko frowned, “ i don’t mean to be rude, but why do you make it seem like you hate him? ”

“ who doesn’t hate their own child? especailly one that doesn’t have the ability to inherit my techniques? maybe if he were to actually put in the effort and learn, maybe i wouldn’t see him as a failure. ”

“ but he’s your son. you..you wouldn’t actually hate your son for not doing something right, right..? ”

naobito laughed, “ hahaha!! my, my, why are you so curious all of a sudden? ”

“ i know parents are supposed to be loving and caring for their children. i’ve never seen someone so mean to their own child. ” young sumiko confessed.

naobito raised a brow and hummed. “ who are your parents, child? ”

there was a pause. “ i don’t know who my parents are or were. that is why i was brought here. ”

naobito looked over at sumiko. she was upset. he felt another sharp pang in his heart for the younger child.

why does this keep on happening every time i see her upset? naobito wondered.

“ i’m sorry i asked. ”

he hummed again. “ i’m not mad. honestly, i don’t care talking about my son. needed to steam off anyways. ”

“ old man. ” sumiko announced. just as he was going to drink from his gourd, he coughed from the nickname he offered her to call him.

“ what now, child? ” he recovered.

“ if you were born another life and had children, do you think you would have treated your children better? ” sumiko asked quietly.

“ sumiko. ” he said pausing for a short time. sumiko froze. he never actually called her by her name, except for ‘child.’

“ yes? ”

“ i don’t think that god will ever give me second chance. ”

—

“ my, my ,” naobito announces, “ you’ve grown the last time i saw you, sumiko. ”

sumiko’s breath hitched. she felt her hand tremble slightly not knowing how to react. naobitio’s skin was scorched immensely from the cursed spirit and to mention his missing arm being absent.

“ o-old man. ” sumiko says.

“ are you here to pity me? or do you wish for me to give you attention as always. ” he rudely said.

sumiko flinched by how he responded back to her. she knew the act he was putting on–but really, they both knew.

“ i flew back to come see you.. ”

naobito laughed loudly. “ how selfish of a brat you are. ”

she began to feel anger rushing within her, “ what was i supposed to do, old man! you sent me to america for fourteen years! i couldn’t bear learning english nor having american friends, it felt lonely and strange! you weren’t there!! ”

naobito had been quiet afterwards. he didn’t feel the need to utter a word towards her.

sumiko continued, “ why did you send me to america! was i that much of a nuisance? was i really that annoying to you and seeked attention because i was a child? ”

“ stop. ”

“ stop? ” she scoffed, “ who are you to tell me what to do? i’m an adult now, old man. sure, i listened to you when i was younger, but that was because i was a child, seven years ago. ”

“ sumiko, stop. ” naobito quietly said. her brow twitched and was confused a second, sensing the different tone he used. although, that wasn’t going to stop sumiko.

“ no! i flew back to see you, old man! and all you have to say for yourself is that i am a selfish brat? what about you! you’re the head of the zen’in clan, and yet, all you do is drink away neglecting your duties of the family! and to mention that you’re a terrible father! hating on your own son ever since he was born because he didn’t inherit the special curse technique, it’s obviously known that the zen’in clan disowns their own–that’s fucked up! i flew back to chat with you like old times, old man! and you care less about it! i even asked those ‘low-lives’ of a servant to ask where you were. i wanted to see you, and the first time after seven years, i see you almost dead– ”

“ if you can’t shut the hell up, i’ll make you. ”

“ then make me, old man! ”

“ my, you really are a piece of work– ” naobito was cut off as he turned around.

just as the first day they met, sumiko had tears rolling down her cheeks. again, naobito felt the sharp pang in his heart.

she sniffled just as the first day they encountered each other. “ what? you got nothing to say again? ”

“ sumiko. ”

“ what. ”

“ why did you save me. ”

—

“ you would have died, old man. and there wouldn’t be a point to see myself living if you weren’t there. ”

sumiko soon heard a shuffling sound as naobito was getting up from where he sat in the shadows. naobito was taller than her. sumiko felt the need to look elsewhere, but she couldn’t. the burnt scars all over his body and missing arm was enough for her to tear up again.

“ old ma– ”

in an instant, naobito grabs sumiko by the arm pulling her directly to him. staring with wide eyes, she stood still not knowing how to react.

“ accept this hug as my gratitude for your act of kindness to this old, cranky man. ” naobito explained.

even with all the bandages wrapped in the wounds that were deep, she could feel the warmth of his skin in contact with her face buried in his chest. sumiko’s lip quiver, “ old man.. ” she whimpered as tears spill out from her eyes.

“ it’s ‘naobito’ for you, sumiko. ” he corrected her.

—

lmaoooo i just realized i put my oc in this story … oh well

i hope you gilf lovers enjoyed ~

🫶🏼🫶🏼

#jjk naobito #naobito zenin #female!reader #naobito x reader #jjk x reader #gilf x reader

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halzore · 4 years ago

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Hanging by a Thread.

Authors Note: This is probably poorly edited/written because it’s midnight and I am sitting in the car like I have been for the last two hours.

But here is some comfort tings with my favourite clone sergeant man - Hunter

@a-lil-perspective (ma gal I hope ya recognise tha title)

Contains: Hurt, one swear word, overstim reaccs and sewing energy.

You liked sewing, the soft methodical pull of the thread through clone blacks as you darned another hole the batchers had created. It was something you learned to do make your clothes go further when you were younger and a skill you offered the bad batch after you caught crosshair pulling on a holey undershirt between missions.

Your repairs became tradition. Every mission, without fail, Hunter would be waiting outside your door with a fresh stack of worn clothes for you to work your magic. Every time you would accept with a smile, gather your needle and thread and sit in the common area and listen to the chatter of the batch.

Today, like clockwork, Hunter was outside your door. You dragged yourself out from under your covers, removing yourself from the only protection you had in that moment. Your eyes remained downcast as you took the stack of clothes. You didn’t see the confusion creeping over the bright features of Hunter as he looked upon your defeated stare.

Hunter’s gaze followed you as you pushed past him and down the hall, head pointed down. You sat in your usual posse in the common area, not wanting to grade attention to yourself.

Just get the job done. They don’t have to know yet.

The needle wasn’t going through as easily as usual. Your thread escaping the elusive eye of the needle. Tech’s usually endearing chatter, that you would listen to for hours on end, was getting on your last nerve. Your teeth were grinding, knee bouncing, the needle going in and out. Tech’s chatter was getting louder, Wrecker’s booming laugh reacting in response. It was burning your head, the feel of the thread through the fabric was no longer a comforting sensation, but a grating texture vibrating throughout your very being.

“FUCK!” The needle had pricked through your skin, yet you were unaware, focussed on the tears you had forbade from appearing pricking at your eyes.

Tech had quieted, Wrecker looked at you in disbelief. Hunter stood in the doorway of the common area, scrutinising you.

The tears had started flowing uncontrollably.

“M’sorry” you were furiously wiping away the tears, your breath hitching with every breath, profusely apologising at your outburst. The were no other sounds except for your sniffles and apologies.

You hadn’t heard Hunter move over to next to you. He lay a soft hand on your shoulder, his thumb rubbing soft circles.

“Come on, lets go find a spot.” As you stood up, he laced his fingers in with your own, leading you back toward his quarters. He closed the door behind him and switched on the light.

“Y/N, what’s happening.”

“S’Nothing” your neutral expression faltered as both of his hands rested on your shoulders.

“Come on,” his voice was soft, kind but strong. “We’re family, you can tell me anything.” A small smile was playing at his mouth.

“They are taking me away from you!” The desperation in your voice broke something in Hunter. He took you in a bone-crushing hug as you broke down around him. He stood steadfast against the barrage of emotion, whispering quiet words of encouragement as you weathered your storm.

You had calmed down a touch.

“I’m hanging on by a thread Hunter, I can’t leave you guys.”

He just hugged you tighter. His thoughts hanging in the air around you before he spoke.

“You survived without us once, you can do it again. But we’ll be there in a pinch if you need us.”

There was a confidence in his words that quelled the turmoil within you to relax into the Sergeant’s hold. Lost in the eternity of moment with a sincere promise of a not so bleak future.

#hunter x reader #the bad batch #tcw #bad batch x reader #halzore writes #clone force 99 #clone wars #clone wars imagine

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maybankiara · 4 years ago

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PHONE SWAP (DREW STARKEY)

04: CHOCOLATE

summary: Addie Mallory is just your average economics student when she meets Drew Starkey at her local Target in Atlanta. This is where the story is supposed to end – a short meeting and a picture to go – except Drew accidentally leaves with the wrong phone, and the story begins, instead.

w/c: 1.8k

a/n: real life, my dudes, it’s real life. (well, after a lil texting sequence.) writing drew is actually hard, believe it or not, and i edited this chapter right after finishing chapter 14 -- and the difference is huge. i’m really excited! as always, let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, and tell me what you thought!

read on wattpad

previous part | series masterlist

drewstarkey | 10:53am Hey! I’ll be running a little late, so meet you at quarter past noon?

addisonmallory | 11:07am That's okay, I would’ve been late, too lol

drewstarkey | 11:08am Okay cool so it’s not just me hahah

addisonmallory | 11:09am Nope, I’ve got a reputation ngl

drewstarkey | 11:11am Let’s see who’s the worse one, then 😂

addisonmallory | 11:14am It’s on 😎

◇

It takes all in Addie to keep Marianne from tagging along. If the French-Brit is anything, it’s stubborn and persistent, which Addie claims to be the worst two stereotypical traits she could’ve picked up from the two cultures – and they both know she’s right.

‘I won’t bother you,’ says Marianne, looking at Addie through her rose-tinted sunglasses. ‘I’ll just be behind you. You won’t even know I’m there!’

Addie sighs and leans sideways against the doorway. Marianne’s foot is blocking the door from closing, and this is all dragging out way beyond rational.

‘Marianne, I’m going there for literally five minutes. It’s not a big deal.’

‘He’s a famous actor.'

‘He’s not even that famous. I met him in a fucking Tesco, Marianne!’

The look she receives for that statement is scorching – but the edge in the girl’s eyebrow relaxes, and Marianne gives way to one of her quiet sighs. ‘Fine. Whatever. Go have fun.’

‘Thanks,’ says Addie; a weak attempt to keep the bitter tone at bay.

The door shuts with a bang – she waits until she hears faint footsteps disappearing into the heart of the apartment. It’s not that she doesn’t trust Marianne, but the girl usually lives in her own world and tends to disregard the common notions of what would be okay in a situation like this. Addie doesn't hold it against her. She can’t hold who Marianne is against herself.

With this now over and done with, Addie walks down two flights of stairs and exits the building. It’s a sunny day, just like it was yesterday, and she takes some pride in the fact that she’s got her contacts in, and sunglasses, and a face that doesn’t look like somebody tortured her for a week. There’s a spring to her step even if she tries to control it, and really, Addie just feels great.

Although, she still can’t believe she’s about to meet up with Drew Starkey to exchange phones because he got startled and gave her the wrong one.

She doesn’t even have the damn photo they took together.

The thought makes her laugh, and relax a little, and somehow it clicks in her head that Drew really is just a regular guy, susceptible to ridiculous shitty things happening to him just like everyone else. It calms her on her walk down to Tesco, even when it’s a few minutes after they’ve agreed on meeting up and he's still not here.

Expected, really. He did say he’d be late, after all.

When he finally walks out of the car, she doesn’t realise it’s him, at first. The car he’s driving is a silver Toyota, looking a little older than she'd expect. He parks it a couple dozen feet away from her, and the only reason she even takes note of the car is because it’s similar to the one her high school friends used to drive when they were all still back in town. Her eyes land on the dark-haired figure inside the car and recognises him only when the Atlanta sun shines its light on him, making the brown strands appear almost blonde, blonde structure framed by the sun’s gentleness.

Something in Addie flutters. It’s not butterflies, but the feeling of excitement at the prospect of an adventure, or something entirely surreal yet about to happen.

Drew’s face breaks into a smile as warm as summer itself at the sight of her. She gives a little wave, clutching his phone in her hands. It takes him a couple of seconds to cross the distance between them, and he joins her under the shade.

‘Hi,’ he says.

‘Hi.’ Addie grins back, the sheer lack of knowing what to do bringing heat to her cheeks. ‘Nice car you got there. My friend had the same one.’

He glances at the car with pride in his eyes, nodding. ‘Yeah, she’s a badass. Stuck with me through thick and thin.’

‘You got the AC?’

‘Yeah, I had it installed a few years back, when I moved here. Your friend didn’t?’

‘Nope.’ Addie shakes her head, sighing at the mere thought of the days she spent roasting in that car during midsummer roadtrips. ‘Some AC would be good right now. I walked here and honestly, I pretty much melted off. Even wearing this.’

The girl grabs a handful of the dress below her waist, the lower part of the lightest fabric she could find in her closet. It’s an ordinary summer dress meant for beaches and walks under the Mediterranean sun, light blue with flowers scattered all over it, and reaching just to her knees when still. The day is windy, so the fabric sways on the wind, pulling itself a little higher, instead.

Drew chuckles at her comment and makes one about misjudging the temperature and choosing to wear long jeans instead of shorts, and stops himself mid sentence. ‘Ah, fuck.’

Addie recognises the sigh and the eyeroll, and figures something’s up even before he runs his fingers through his hair, saying, 'I forgot something. I'll be right back.'

Before she manages to mutter ‘Okay’, he’s making a beeline for his car. She watches him take something out of the glove compartment and he’s back within seconds, holding one of the biggest Hershey’s chocolate bars Addie has ever seen, and her phone is on top of it. She lets out a small chuckle, feeling her eyebrows come closer.

Drew holds the two in front of her, scratching the back of his neck with the other hand. ‘This is a little something for the inconvenience. And – and as congratulations, you know, for getting the internship.’

‘Oh my god, you didn’t need to buy me a chocolate,’ Addie says, voice high pitched in a combination of laughter and disbelief.

‘No, I did. Just – just take it, okay?’

‘Okay, thanks.’

Addie’s fingers wrap around the chocolate and she slips her phone into her pocket, handing him his. It feels odd—this whole interaction does—and she has the stupidly childish need to stare at her feet, but she makes herself look up at him, and he does the same once he glances briefly at his phone, putting it into the back pocket of his jeans. He’s squinting a little, and she can’t tell if it’s because of the sun and the fact that he’s not wearing sunglasses, or because that way it's easier to mask the awkwardness she knows he’s also feeling.

She offers him a smile, earnest as he can, and sees his shoulders drop a little.

The smile he gives in return is so genuinely apologetic that Addie finds it sweet – contagious, too.

‘Look, I really am sorry about this whole thing. I know I keep apologising, but I mean it. The chocolate was the least I could’ve done.’

‘And it’s more than enough,’ she reassures him. ‘Honestly. You’re all good. It’s not like you tried to steal my phone.’ She squints at him, jokingly, and crosses her arms on her chest. ‘Unless...?’

It makes him laugh, wide and bright, and his hair moves gently as his head shakes. ‘Fuck no. I’m not skilled enough for that.’

‘Yeah, you’re driving an old Toyota that does’'t even come with an AC. Not good enough for a thief.’

Drew’s laughter persists, and Addie lets herself relax a little. She leans against the tree with the side of her body, a little tired of being on her feet for so long, one of her hands stuck in her pocket and the other holding onto the chocolate that's getting softer between her fingers and her palm.

The man in front of her glances around with an edge to it, just like he did back inside the supermarket.

‘I should get going,’ he says. ‘It’s an interview week, so…’

Addie smiles. ‘Yeah, it’s cool. Thanks for bringing my phone back.’

‘Once again, I’m really—’

‘Okay. It was nice seeing you again. I can’t hear you apologise one more time so I’m going to leave.’

She considers turning on her heel and pretending to walk away, but she only takes a single step back and gives him a cheeky grin, instead. Drew is staring at her, squinting a little, probably because she’s all in the sun now and her dress is more than a little reflective.

He raises two fingers, gives her a little salute. ‘Bye, then.’

Addie repeats the word, mimicking his gesture.

Drew grins at that and it’s the last she sees of his face, as he turns toward his car and walks away. He waves at her driving out of the parking lot, while Addie fumbles with her headphones and her phone, and she waves back.

The moment he’s out of sight, she walks back under the tree, completely leaning her back against it. The breeze is enjoyable now, something between comfortable and warm, and Addie feels her heart thumping in her chest. Her eyes flutter and a shaky breath leaves her lungs, lips curling into a smile. Her hands may not be sweaty, but she feels sweaty all around, and knows she should be getting home as fast as possible because of the chocolate she’s holding, but she just... she can’t.

It’s not like Addie Mallory to get her head spinning at the sight of a boy – far from it. In fact, she likes to think of herself as an experienced person with a level-headed, realistic perspective on life and everything that constitutes. She’s put her career and future first for years now, and this is the first time she feels like she’s taking baby steps when talking to someone new, instead of striding.

Except, be as it is, Drew Starkey isn’t just someone new. Even if Addie is used to meeting people of far more importance than her, it’s usually in her line of business, and it’s usually people she knows what to expect from. This is someone who she feels like she knows what to expect from except he breaks all those expectations with ease.

It’s far from being the same, so Addie allows herself to be okay with her heart racing, palms sweating, and just getting overall excited like a schoolgirl. This doesn’t make her any less mature or her priorities any less set in stone.

As Addie goes into her text messages, rereads the one from Harry Martin, she realises that her life definitely took a 180 the day before. She texts him back, letting him know she’s available whenever and apologising for the late reply. Her phone rests against her chest, warm and familiar.

She’s glad to have it back.

But, even if she’s having a hard time admitting it, she’s not glad that her story with Drew is over.

◇

05: TOMFOOLERY

tagging. @jjmaybanksbaby @taiter-tots @sacredto @snkkat @drewswannabegirl @yeslifeofateen @rudypnkw @stfukie @x-lulu @sacredto @drewstarkey @butgilinsky @solllaris @hyperactive2411 @chasefreakinstokes @surferkie @jroseron @k-k0129

#drew starkey #outer banks #obx #drew starkey fanfiction #drew starkey x oc #outer banks fanfiction #phone swap series

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after-everything-pjo-zine · 4 years ago

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FAQ

What would the zine be about?

This has already been posted on this blog in other words, but the zine is following the after affects of canon events as well as post-canon. For example, the effects of Tartarus, or maybe what they do after everything is over and they're away from war. There's flexibility in which events you can choose!

How often will I be expected to write? What will the schedule be for providing new material? I am willing to write but I am curious about if there is a certain schedule (twice a week, once a day, etc). Let me know!

There will be a schedule, but it will be a series of check-ins every few days, with one end deadline. This can be flexible if creators need more time. As a fandom writer myself, I understand how sometimes you just don't have the headspace and/or spoons to create, so it's pretty flexible. I'll be posting the schedule a little closer to opening applications.

What exactly is a zine? Sorry, I should know this but I forgot. Also, does this involve like a ship or something? Sorry again, I should know this.

Firstly, it's okay! No need to apologise, the questions box was there for a reason, it's okay to not know! A zine is like a mini magazine. They're popular in fandoms and often at least follow a theme or topic. Usually these involve fic and art, and this zine will hopefully pair art and writing. As for ships, we've stated this in a post on this blog, so you should be able to find that easily, the post isn't buried yet.

What is this. Saw it on my dash and went "why tf not!" Anyways I have 507 possum pictures and no will to live let's go!

This is a zine, so a mini magazine, that will follow the after effects of events in the series plus post-canon. It'll bring fic and art together in a pdf that you can keep digital or print yourself! Also, possums are babey that is so valid and a mood

Is this zine ONLY for ships/romantic pairings? Or can we portray platonic/sibling relationships too? I ask bc Nico and Hazel are my favourites and if I can I'd like to draw something with them, just as siblings obviously.

Thank you for asking, I should have clarified, but this isn't ship exclusive! The ship guidelines are there just to say which ships are in this zine, but not all content has to be ship centric! I've already got my own contribution planned and it certainly isn't a ship centric piece! We'd absolutely love to see the underworld siblings!

Will we (artists/writers) pick freely the subjects of what we'll do/will there be like, a range of things to pick from or being assigned?

It's a little complicated, but we're hoping, if the writer/artist applications balance enough, or enough artists are willimg to comtribute more than one piece, to hopefully pair fic with art! If this happens, writers will put out a synopsis of their fic, then artists will be able to claim which fic to work with! If this doesn't happen, then it's completely free reign as long as it fits the topic/guidelines of the zine. We're hoping to find a balance where all fics have art, but fic writers and artists can also choose to contribute individual pieces if they do not find a fic that matches what they want to draw. We wouldn't want it to happen where some fics had art and others were left out, so we're waiting on the interest form to figure out the numbers. But we aren't setting out solid "you must pick from x topics", just guidelines.

Any particular timeline?

There will be a timeline! This will be released a little closer to when applications open, which will be July! Hopefully the schedule will be posted within the next two weeks! The timeline isn't going to be too harsh and there's flexibility if you can't make the final deadline!

Um can I be a beta I can't write but I love editing um yeah

Of course you can! That's why we have the option to be a beta on the zine! We understand that not everybody is able to create, but would still like to contribute, and betas are always welcome! There's a chance you may beta for more than one fic!

Does the art have to be digital?

Nope! Not everybody has the money to afford a drawing tablet, you can draw on paper! We only ask that if you do, the picture you take of it is clear. Also writers, please be aware that artists do not have to have a high level of skill to apply, so please be kind to your artists if we are able to pair art with fics.

Is co-writing allowed?

It is 100% allowed and encouraged, collabs are valid af

Is it strictly pjo/hoo or is toa allowed?

Toa content is definitely allowed! Any riordanverse books are, as this zine is canon and post-canon, so you can pick any point in the timeline!

Is it alright for folks who haven't read TOA?

Of course, content can be from any point in the timeline, so no worries!

Does this include hoo characters?

It includes all riordanverse characters so yes it does!

What would the word count be?

Most likely, a very rough guideline of around 1000-5000 words, with flexibility!

#faq #after everything pjo zine #after everything mini zine #pjato #pjo zine #pjo #percy jackson zine #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #heroes of olympus #trials of apollo #solangelo #percabeth #jasiper

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stevenuniversetanzanite · 5 years ago

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The Angel Among Us (Cordelia X reader) Part 1

(This chapter has been rewritten/ edited since original post)

General Notice: I’m trying to get more works out during this time that is rough for all of us. That being said I am trying to keep it’s quality up.

This is technically a prequel to Fallen Angel (Work in progress), however it can be read as a stand alone series.

Summary:

If your reading as a stand alone: A witch heads back to Miss Robichaux's 20 years after she left in hopes of being a teacher there. The only problem is she hasn’t aged a day.

If your from Fallen Angel: The event’s leading up to Y/N joining Michael and the Cooperative.

Warnings: N/A

Parts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 , Part 4(will be added when done)

It had been years since you left Miss Robichaux's academy or spoken to your best friend from that place. How long it had been exactly was something you were unsure of. It felt like days, but it could have been decades. The school's exterior hadn't aged a day since you first stepped into that academy for extraordinary young ladies. To be fair, neither had you.

The two-story building towered over you as it did at 18. You tried to move on from those days alas your memory of the place remained in your stagnant life. You had ambitions once, now unsure of what they were. You weren't necessarily from New Orleans, but your ancestry was from Salem or at least from what the letter your mother sent you explaining your oddities.

Years on and you stood in front of the cast iron gates just as petrified as you were on your first day. You had nothing to lose except your old way of thinking. Now, there was her. You wouldn't expect someone to accept you as you are. There was no way to explain what has become of you because nothing has, you were the same person you were when you exited her life.

The chuckles of girls playing in the yard filled your ears on the fine summer's day. Break time, you thought to yourself as you tugged your cardigan closer to her frame. You used to spend all your free time in the greenhouse with your friend. Potions weren't your forte, but she loved it so acted like you did...for her. It wasn't until recently that you learned to appreciate the natural science of it.

Your friend was your main reason for your resurgence into the world of magic. Her passion to teach the next generation of witches fuelled your pilgrimage of discovery of the world. To teach the wonderous world of extraordinary beings to the youth of today. You excelled in the history of Salem witches and your passion extended across other magical beings. The two of you used to joke that after years you would be the only two to remain behind. You wished for nothing more than to be with her for all eternity. Some dreams never go as they're planned. Namely, her husband, Hank Foxx. It could have been because you spent years surrounded by women, but that man didn't sit right with you. Nor did he to your friends Mother, one of the few things you got on with that woman about.

Her mother was a vile woman, the supreme witch since she was 18. She rarely took interest in the coven unless it was for self-benefit. She was a distant mother to her daughter, shipping her off to the school at the early age of 7. Your friend sought out a mother figure elsewhere, finding it in Myrtle Snow who ended up working for the council and doing the work the supreme refused to do. Her mother, Fiona, was long since dead, four years to be exact. Her title ironically passed down to her daughter. The worlds changed since your school days. You'd heard the news from your local sources, discovering Fiona's death when news of witches was broadcasted to the world. There was no way in hell Fiona would allow that. You were tempted to go to the opening, say hello to your old friend. But what would you say? It's been years. You left her all alone for years. How were you going to forgive yourself?

With a flick of the wrist, the gates were open. Your heart pounded to the beat of your footsteps. Your breath stilled when you knocked on the door. Maybe this was a mistake, you contemplated leaving. No one was answering. It was probably for the best.

The truth was years ago you had the chance to return but you refused. The only reason you were here now was for purely selfish reasons. The balance of good and bad had shifted and in your trail to correct the scale, you wound up in a lot of trouble. You had nowhere to go. Your home was no longer your own and you were on were on the run.

You sighed, turning around, and heading down the concrete path. The iron gate closed before you could leave. Your ears register a voice a second later. You spun around to be greeted by a young woman. She was short (but compared to you most women where) with long straight brown hair.

"Good, I got your attention, I thought you were going to escape," the woman joked. You chuckled awkwardly in response. Now that you were leaving, you did not really want to be there. "You knocked on the school's door?"

"-Yeah." You didn't even imagine the possibility of it not being- of course, it wouldn't be her. She was supreme now, she had better things to do than answering the school's door. "Yeah, sorry. I'm slighting out of it, nerves and all."

"It's alright. Most girls are nervous when they first arrive."

You chuckled once again, awkwardly, "I bet."

The woman let you inside telling you she would lead you to the Headmistress to fill out all the paperwork.

"Crap, I forgot she's in a meeting right now," the young woman said. "And I have to teach a class in a minute."

"You're a teacher?" The woman was used to the question from how young she was. "What age range are you teaching?"

"Right now, Pre-teen years. They're usually the worst to deal with."

"I bet. I could sit in and watch you teach them while we wait for Cordelia. Hell, you might be able to teach me something." Zoe hadn't mentioned the Supreme's name, so she assumed you knew it from the television segment a while back.

"If it doesn't bother you."

"It's no problem at all."

The woman led you to the kitchen dining room where a bunch of restless girls were mucking about. They all stilled, taking their seats, a few still mucking about as they did so. All the girls stared at you, one asking why you were so tall. You laughed, saying "Platforms" showing your four-inch platforms that were hidden by your floor-length skirt before you stole one of the free seats moving it out of the way so the woman could teach.

As the lesson when on you noticed one of the girls was struggling with her work. You noticed how she seemed to be too shy to ask for help. The girl beside her flying head and boasting about her skills, most likely bringing the girl down (unintentionally), in the process. You stood up and quietly as to not disturb the class and moved over to the girl.

"Hi, my name's Y/N. What's yours?" You asked her quietly.

"Emily," she whispered.

"Nice to meet you, Emily. Do you need any help with your work?" She shook her head. "Can I help you with your work?" She looked at you hesitantly then up to Ms who was too busy to notice you had moved over to the girl.

"If you want."

"How about you tell me what you're learning?" You started with. She shrugged. "What's the title of your worksheet?"

"Types of Magic?"

"Yes, that's correct. Now, what are the two main types of magic?" She remained quiet. "Clue: what's above you?"

"A roof?"

You chuckled, "Technically, that is right, but I meant that-" you point to the light globe.

"Oh, a light. Light and dark!" She got excited, raising her voice from a whisper. This caught the attention of the teacher.

"Yes, that's correct. All magic users fall into one of those two. Us witches fall into the light magic, even the darkest, most evil witch still uses light magic. There are others who would also fall into this side such as angels."

"Angels exist?"

"Supposedly. I've never met one," You said. "Even though there is light and dark magic, the purpose a person uses it for can differ. You know who I mentioned a witch using her light magic for evil?" Emily nodded. "She would be using-"

You went on explaining to Emily. A few of the girls around her joined in listening to you explain the course to her. You added pointers their teacher hadn't mentioned and some you picked up from your years of living a magic-filled life. You only noticed you had stolen the attention of all the girls when the others began asking you questions. The teacher was gone from where you last saw her. You asked the girl what the teacher's name was. You had forgotten to ask earlier.

"I'm so sorry Zoe, I didn't mean to take over your class," you said when you finally spotted her. "I was only trying to help Em with her work."

"Em?" Emily repeated.

"I give all my friends and family nicknames. I didn't think-" She leapt up and gave your waist a hug before you got another word in. She repeated the word friend back to you excited by the prospect of gaining a new friend. You gathered she was new or had a hard time with people since she found the idea of you being her friend exciting. You chuckled, rustling her hair with your hand. "Okay, enough hugging. I better let you get back to class. I stole enough of your time."

"Actually, class is over," Zoe said.

"Oh~ I'm so-" You went to apologise when the woman cut you off.

"No, it's fine. It's better they understand the work then rushing ahead and then not knowing it correctly." She silently conferred that what you had said to them was correct. She would have interrupted, adding her two sense if something seemed off. The teacher found your allegory's to be helpful in explaining the content as well as refreshing.

"Zoe's right, it's better that they understand the work. One wrong preformed spell and it could be disastrous." You knew that voice anywhere. "I was informed that we had a new student, so I came down as soon as I-"

Your head perked up to look at the woman that owned your body and soul. Your eyes begged for her to recognise you, to pull you into her embrace. You smiled sweetly at her in the way only you could. She returned the gesture. Her face was warm and welcoming as ever but as she got a better look at you, you noticed the change in her expression. The shift was slight but noticeable solely because you sought it out. You pulled yourself away from Emily carefully. As soon as you were detached, you headed over to the headmistress offering your gloved hand to her.

"L/N." She accepted your offer of a handshake. Her grip was strong excuding confidence dissimilar to the woman you left behind years prior. You kept a natural level of eye contact to not seem suspicious. Giving your last name was a test. You didn't want to scare her off immediately nor face the slap she will most likely give you when she puts the pieces together. "I was actually here to offer to be a teacher if you needed one," you said. "I know you had a large incline of students recently as well as limited staff. I don't know if that has since changed. Even if you just need someone to mark homework or assessments, I don't mind. I have all the credentials I would need for a normal teaching job along with working with children's card. Everything's in my satchel." You didn't find in necessary to mention the repercussions of not being accepted. Stating your problems wasn't your way. They were yours, there was no need to share.

"We can discuss this further in my office." Cordelia gestured into the hallway. You waved bye to the girls and said goodbye to Zoe.

Before Cordelia left Zoe pulled her aside. She noticed the facial expression shift too.

"You alright Cordelia?"

"Yeah," She whispered back to her friend. "She looks like a friend, I had years back."

"She could be a relative. Sister, daughter, cousin-"

"She had no living family," Cordelia told Zoe. "The girl's too old to be a daughter." She sighed, "It's fine, it's a freaky coincidence."

"You don't need to hire her."

"It would be helpful to have some extra help around here. She seemed to be great with the younger ones and we know how much of a feat that is." They both chuckled. "I shouldn't keep her waiting."

Cordelia kept eyeing you occasionally when talking to Zoe. You gathered she was talking about you, but it wasn't your place to listen. It's not nice to eavesdrop.

You remained quiet, listening for her to talk as the two of you headed to her office. Upstairs, first room on the right, just as you remembered. "As you know, that is Zoe. We had another teacher but unfortunately, we lost her. You will occasionally see an older woman here named Myrtle; she doesn't teach the students, but she helps me with council work." You smiled knowing Myrtle was here and still a part of the council.

Cordelia opened her office allowing you to walk in first. You noticed the familiar redhead in the corner of Cordelia's office drinking. Cordelia told you to take a seat at her desk while she got the paperwork ready. You pulled out your documentation placing it on the table before drawing your attention to the older woman behind you. Myrtle was talking to Cordelia about something irrelevant to you when she stopped mid-sentence, something you had never seen her do.

Cordelia cleared her throat, earning your attention. You spun around slowly. Cordelia told you that your documentation would not be relevant since they had an unorthodox away of job selecting. The past isn't relevant to her as long as you weren't her to bring harm to her girls. You insisted she took a look to ease your mind and to make her away of your qualifications.

"Now Y/N-" She wasn't meant to say that. She quickly went to cover it up, "Sorry I mean-" She picked up your papers searching your name on them.

"No, you were right." You adjusted the wire framed glasses on your face. One of the few new things about you. "Y/N M/N L/N."

"Is Y/N a family name?" Cordelia asked. "Like how some men name their son's the same name but call them junior."

"I don't believe so," You said, acting oblivious. You already came off strong demanding a job. "I don't have much of a family."

Cordelia's eyes widened. It couldn't be?

"Can I see your ID?"

"Sure." You fish through your bag pulling out a worn-down purse that she gifted to you years ago. Cordelia went to say something but held herself back, instead looking over to Myrtle with a questioning look. The oldest woman in the room shared the same level of confusion. "I should warn you; I apparently look a lot younger than my age."

You handed over your card to Cordelia.

"Y/n, what had you want to become a teacher?"

"Well, that's a tough question. I mean, where to begin?" You laughed. "I've always had a knack for the history of the Salem coven and it transformed into a fascination with magic in general. I guess I want to put my knowledge to good use. There's no point allowing it to waste away up here and recording it down in a book never sounded as appealing as verbally communicating it." Cordelia nodded along keeping a hold of your identification. "One of my friends used to joke that we'd both be here teaching together. Things didn't go as planned."

"They never do." Cordelia said. "I hope you don't mind but I need a secondary opinion on your resume." She ushered over Myrtle and the two had a quick conversation. She didn't believe you, she had to be asking about if it was possible, Myrtle would probably suggested plastic surgery as a possibility as to your appearance or some other thing you couldn't do.

"Could she have done Tempus Infinituum or something similar? It would explain why I- we haven't heard anything from her." The two look at you sat there twiddling your thumbs.

You always assumed your ageless appearance was some genetic thing or something to do with your magic. You're still trying to figure that out and was hoping she could help you out with that, or someone here could. Obviously, that wasn't your purpose for coming back.

"Is it really you Y/N?"

You nodded. Her eyes teared up and a smile formed on her face. She shook her head not wanting to jump the gun or overstep her boundary. It had been years and she had no clue what you had been through. It would have to be hell in order for you to leave. The two of you were inseparable before you vanished.

"I can prove it. Ask me anything only I would know."

Your words were enough, the tale you told of your friend and how much of a history buff you were.

"I can do one better, give me your hand." She laid her hand out for you to grab. You didn't understand. "A lot has happened since you left, one being I got The Sight."

As soon as you heard that you grabbed her hand allowing the skin to skin contact to explain away everything it had to. It hit you a second later, you shouldn't have rushed it. There were things she didn't need to know that she may now have access too. She tore your glove from your hand allowing her fingers to slip between yours. She gasped watching your earlier twenties up until now flash through her mind.

She retracted from you, allowing herself a moment to get air in her lungs. "Y-y-you-" she stuttered. Her eyes flicked from you to her aunt. Shock covered her face. Her eyes settled on you and you expected her to say something about how this was unbelievable. "Why are your hands so cold?"

"What?" Not what you were expecting.

"You're freezing, I'm going to find you a blanket."

"You don't need to, I'm fine-" Her glare at you urged you to shut you up quickly. She used to do the same thing back in the day. "I'm serious, I'm always this cold. Why do you think I dress like this?"

You got up, following her down the corridor and up the stairs to a bedroom. You attempted to reason with her that you were fine, you were always ice cold which concerned her more. "That's not normal Y/N/N" 'Y/N/N?' You smiled upon hearing your nickname from long ago.

"You'll learn not a lot about me is-" You kidded.

"Sit down on the bed, I'm getting out the winter blankets."

"But it's summer-"

"And your freezing."

She headed into her closet only returning a few minutes later with the thickest blanket she owned. You were already dressed inappropriately for the weather, cloaked in long sleeved maxi length dress, thick woollen stockings, below the knee boots that were hidden by your dress. You also had a cardigan you removed upon entering the school grounds. Cordelia wrapped the blanket around before forcing you to lay down. You whined, using that you were wearing shoes as an excuse. She removed them, seeing how much big the sole was she asked, "How do you walk in these?"

"How do you walk in heels?"

"Touche."

The two of you started cackling. Soon you were swaddled up in a blanket, lying on what you assumed was Cordelia's bed telling stories and laughing at each other's misfortune like it was old times. You had learned the unfortunate events that led to her ex-husbands death. A witch hunter, you should have guessed.

"I missed you," Cordelia admitted. You remained quiet, wanting to say it back but not having the courage. Like the last time, you had seen her, her wedding. You, the maid of honour, left early. You knew you would have to explain it to her, but you couldn't. You didn't want to force your feelings onto her, that's why you never told her then and that's why you can't tell her you missed her now. You missed her more than she could ever believe. "I saw- I mean... I know. I know you miss me too." She moved closer to you, resting her head onto your shoulder. "I know you missed me too."

#cordelia x reader #cordelia foxx x reader #cordelia goode x reader

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commentaryvorg · 5 years ago

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Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Bonus 4.2 - UTDP (Still Mostly Kaito Edition)

This is postgame content, so people shouldn’t be reading this without having already finished the main game anyway. But just to be safe: while this is non-canon character stuff, I will sometimes be mentioning events that happened in the main story, so there will be spoilers for the main game.

Last time in the first half of my Kaito-centric Ultimate Talent Development Plan coverage, it was all about Kaito helping people! Kaito encouraged Shuichi to use his detective skills to help out his schoolmates, and Shuichi passed some of Kaito’s advice about relying on people onto Kyoko. After some incredibly stubborn persistence to even get her to open up in the first place, Kaito nudged Maki into letting Kaede play piano at her orphanage, and Maki also bonded a little with Chihiro over keeping secrets and projecting their issues onto a dead bird. Then, after a brief sports festival interlude, Kaito helped Mondo be more positive about his future, and I lengthily compared Mondo and Chihiro’s relationship to Kaito and Shuichi’s one in canon, because both had similar issues and dynamics going on.

There’s still a bunch more Kaito-related stuff to cover in this mode, so let’s start off this second half on a high note, shall we?

Ryoma (featuring Kaito’s issues)

Another of Kaito’s friendly events is with Ryoma, so you can bet I’m interested in it. Remember, Kaito’s fondness for tennis meant he looked up to Ryoma as a hero, and as a result, all of Kaito’s unreasonably high standards for heroes that usually only apply to himself also apply to Ryoma. Ryoma therefore provides a delightful look into Kaito’s hero issues that can’t really be found anywhere else in this AU, since Kaito hasn’t been dying, and nor has Shuichi been saving everyone’s lives in class trials without seeming to need Kaito’s help.

This scene also features Usami – yes, she’s also here in this mode, as is Monomi, though never at the same time. I don’t even know, just go with it.

Usami: “I just came to talk to Ryoma! I’m everyone’s teacher… so if you ever wanna talk to me about something, please feel free!”

Ryoma: “Thanks, but there’s nothing to talk about. Don’t bother with me. Go back to your students. It feels… wrong for such a cheery mascot like you to be around someone like me.”

Kaito: “Really? I think talking about stuff will help. Come on, just talk to her.”

Of course Ryoma talking about things will help! And it’s… actually rather surprising to see Kaito doing something that amounts to trying to help Ryoma get stronger, by encouraging him to do this. Kaito is usually so hung up on Ryoma being weak in the first place that he can’t even get as far as suggesting some kind of help for him. So I can only assume that the reason he manages to do so in this instance is because Usami was the one to suggest it first, which made Kaito actually briefly see Ryoma as someone in need of support for once, because she was treating him that way, and agree with her.

Ryoma: “Hmph… is being nosy your talent or something?”

In my Kaito-isn’t-into-tennis AU, I wrote Ryoma’s POV describing Kaito as “nosy” for reasons I couldn’t quite place, but it seems I was subconsciously remembering that he does so here, even though I didn’t recall the details of this scene back then. Kind of like how Maki considers anyone worrying about her to be “gross”, “nosy” may well be Ryoma’s way to refer to people who are going out of their way to help him, as a way to try and brush off their help because he doesn’t consider himself worth it.

(In that sense, yes, being nosy practically is Kaito’s talent. Or at least it is with everyone except Ryoma.)

Kaito: “What did you say?”

Usami: “Hey! Fighting’s a no-no!”

Kaito: “We’re not gonna fight. There’s no use butting heads with him anyway. Because this guy’s a total sad sack now. He used to be an amazing athlete before.”

Being called nosy probably wouldn’t normally rile Kaito up, not when he considers it a good thing to be invested in other people’s wellbeing. But apparently something about it coming from Ryoma in particular gets to him and causes him to snap right back to his Ryoma-specific mindset of “he’s not worth helping because he’s supposed to be a hero but he’s weak”. Specifically, I think it might be because the “nosy” comment was essentially Ryoma brushing off Kaito’s attempt to offer help. That refusal to even try and get stronger is another kind of weakness – and a more meaningful kind, one that it makes more sense to be upset at someone about, because it’s a choice.

Not that that’s a thing that usually stops Kaito from trying to help someone, of course! He openly called Maki a coward for running away from her issues at first, but that didn’t change the fact that he knew she had the potential to be brave enough to face them, if he just pestered her stubbornly enough to convince her. It usually takes a lot for Kaito to conclude that someone really is beyond help and isn’t ever going to decide to change, as we saw with Kokichi in canon. But not when it’s Ryoma, apparently. Even though Usami got Kaito to temporarily see past Ryoma’s initial weakness and try to help, refusing that help even once and not wanting to change is even more weak of Ryoma, and is therefore again disgraceful for a hero and sent Kaito’s opinion of him right back to square one.

Which seems quite relevant to how Kaito was in canon, considering how much he refused any help with his own weaknesses. Particularly in trial 4, where it was very apparent that he was struggling to face the truth and should have reached out for support, and he was only making himself look even more obviously weak by not doing that.

This moment here with Ryoma, thanks to Usami letting Kaito get as far as offering help at all, is essentially illustrating to Kaito that if a hero does do the unacceptable and be weak in the first place, then refusing help for it when people can already see that he needs it only looks even weaker and even less heroic of him, and he should at least cut his losses and accept help. I would say that if only a moment like this with Ryoma had happened in canon then it might have served as a lesson of How Not To Be A Worse Hero (When You’re Already A Bad One) and taught Kaito to actually accept the support he needed. Buuuut I still very much doubt that, because Kaito here definitely seems to have fallen too far back into his general frustration of “heroes shouldn’t be weak at all!!!” to be using this as any kind of example.

Ryoma: “You knew about me?”

Kaito: “A little, yeah…”

Ryoma: “So you get it now. The Ultimate Tennis Pro… I’m not that guy anymore. That’s in the past.”

Kaito: “Yeah, I guess not… The Ryoma I knew was invincible and would go up against any opponent.”

Oh, Kaito, why am I so right about you. Throughout all of the lengthy rambles I’ve written about Kaito’s unhealthily unrealistic standards for heroes, including the fact that he also applies these standards to Ryoma, I had basically forgotten about this scene and didn’t use it to help me figure any of that stuff out. And yet here Kaito is, describing the Ryoma that he looked up to as invincible. Of course he saw him that way. Kaito’s writers have always known exactly what they’re doing and I love it.

Usami: “K-Kaito… Is everything okay!? Please calm down!”

Kaito: “My bad… I’m gonna go cool off.”

[Kaito leaves the room]

I like how Usami managed to notice, even though it wasn’t showing that much in his face based on his sprites, that Kaito was beginning to get really worked up about this. And credit to Kaito for actually acknowledging this when it’s pointed out, apologising for it (a more worthwhile apology than like 90% of the ones he ever gives) and leaving to calm down. Kaito can often react to things that upset him with a cycle of getting more and more riled up until he snaps in some way. At least in this case, he realised that he doesn’t want to end up lashing out as that doesn’t help anyone, and that the best thing for him to do is to just step away from the situation before he reaches that point. This is Kaito actually showing decent self-care! That’s rare.

…It’s probably only because Usami pointed it out to him. I said it’s ridiculous that she’s even here in this AU, but… Usami actually subtly did a lot for Kaito in this scene. Maybe he ought to talk to her. (You know, because Kaito is so good at talking to people about his issues.)

Usami: “The air feels so tense… It’s all my fault… I shouldn’t have said anything at all…”

No, Usami, you did a good. If you hadn’t been here and it’d just been Kaito and Ryoma, Kaito wouldn’t have even vaguely acknowledged the possibility of helping Ryoma and might have actually lashed out at him. This is a scene about Kaito’s issues with Ryoma, but it seems the writers included Usami in it for a reason.

The scene ends with Ryoma acknowledging that Usami cares about him, but also saying that he’s still not planning on actually talking to her and accepting her support. Damn it, Ryoma, you aren’t helping yourself either. He needs someone a lot more stubborn than Usami to really get through to him, but… yeah, there’s an issue with that, isn’t there.

There’s also a final year seasonal event that somewhat follows up on this. Ryoma heads to the gym to help Himiko set up for her Christmas magic show and finds Kaito already there.

Kaito: “Oh…”

This is Kaito’s evasive face. This particular kind of reaction rather reminds me of Kaito’s reactions to Shuichi’s presence in early chapter 5. Which is only appropriate, since this is a similar situation of him awkwardly not really wanting to talk to someone who sets off his issues, but not wanting to admit why either.

Ryoma: “Did Himiko get you to help her out, too?”

Kaito: “Well, something like that. You too?”

Ryoma: “Yeah. I may not be as fit as I was back in my glory days, but it should be enough…”

Kaito: “How pathetic… An athlete at your level should say stuff like, ‘I’ll take on any challenge!’”

Heroes like Ryoma are meant to be full throttle, larger than life, all the time, with no half measures. That’s what Kaito’s like when he’s setting an example for his sidekicks and anyone else he’s trying to inspire; Ryoma’s supposed be like that too!!

It’s not even acceptable that Ryoma is saying he’s still strong enough to get the job done and is going to do his best. Simply admitting to any kind of weakness in the first place isn’t allowed and will definitely prevent anything else he says from ever being inspiring. (Won’t it?)

Ryoma: “Hmph… Don’t bring up such an old story now. Those days are long past.”

Kaito: “I don’t care about your past!”

Kaito, you extremely care about his past. Not about the past of him being a murderer that led to all his self-loathing, because he doesn’t have to let that define him and can move on from it and do better in future. That’s a lot like Maki’s situation, and obviously Kaito doesn’t care about her past in that sense, so I can believe he also wouldn’t do so analogously with Ryoma. But here they were actually talking about Ryoma’s past before the murders, when he used to be a superstar athlete. Kaito very obviously still cares about that past, because that’s why he can’t deal with Ryoma properly. If Kaito was capable of seeing Ryoma as nothing but the person he is today, then he’d be able to help like can usually help anyone.

Kaito: “There are plenty of tennis players that look up to you. They’re trying to surpass your memory. One of them might become the next Ultimate Tennis Pro! So quit it with that mopey face you’ve got on all the time! When you see a tennis fan, can’t you just smile at him and say, ‘Tennis is pretty great, huh?’”

Kaito is kind of giving some reasonable advice here, but only on the level on which he looks up to Ryoma as his tennis hero. He’s managing to encourage Ryoma to be a little better at being that hero to people who look up to him, even if he’s not necessarily ever going to pick up a racket again. That’s something, but it’s not remotely what Ryoma really needs; it’s really more just what Kaito wanted from him.

Kaito: “That’s all… I just wanted to say that to you before we graduate.”

Apparently this really has been bothering Kaito on and off for the past three years such that he would have regretted not getting to say it in the end. But still, “you should be a better hero” is not remotely addressing the real problem here, Kaito. Three years and Kaito was still too hung up on Ryoma being a disappointment of a hero to actually be able to figure out how to help.

Ryoma: “Were you… just waiting for a chance to talk to me about tennis?”

Ryoma, perceptive as he is, does seem to have picked up that this whole speech Kaito just gave him was really more for Kaito’s own benefit. He just did it because he wanted Ryoma to become someone willing to talk to him, or at least others like him, about tennis.

Ryoma: “Well, even if I agreed to… do you really think you’re qualified to talk to me about tennis? Well… you’d probably say that something like that didn’t matter.”

Kaito: “Heh, so you do get it after all!”

Kaito has a point here, though. Someone shouldn’t have to also be a superstar with ridiculous anime tennis superpowers to be able to have a conversation about tennis with Ryoma, and if Ryoma’s trying to claim that just to avoid talking to people genuinely interested in tennis, then he’s only making excuses. (And I like how Ryoma’s perceptiveness lets him realise Kaito would say that to him before he even said it.)

Apparently Ryoma and Kaito do then end up chatting about tennis with each other as they set up the stage, which is at least some level of progress for both of them. Ryoma would probably have refused to talk about tennis if this’d been earlier on, but by now it seems he’s mellowed out enough – for reasons that have nothing to do with Kaito, of course – to be up for it if pushed. On Kaito’s end, though, this is still only him interacting with Ryoma as a fan of his and a fellow tennis enthusiast. He hasn’t stopped being incapable of properly seeing and helping with Ryoma’s real problems because of his own messed-up standards for heroes.

But even though Kaito still wasn’t able or even really willing to help him, we don’t have to worry about Ryoma in this universe. We can see this most clearly in one of Mahiru’s third year winter scenes in which she’s giving him some photos that he asked her to take as keepsakes of his time here…

Ryoma: “I won’t let it end so easily. During the three years we spent in this academy… I found something I don’t want to let go of. Something I thought I’d never find again… And your pictures… have captured their smiles so clearly. These pictures will always remind me that the time I spent here was worth every second.”

…so, Ryoma’s going to be okay. He’s found his new reason to live.

Year 2 seasonal events

Year 2’s seasonal event is the school festival in which a lot of the students are doing shows or exhibits displaying their talents. Kaito isn’t doing anything like that himself and only helped set up the stage, but then he can check out one of the shows afterwards.

- Can’t miss Kaede’s recital

Kaito’s POV wording for this option is great. It’s not just that he’s checking out Kaede’s show because eh why not – he actively doesn’t want to miss it!

Kaede: “Huh…? You came by yourself, Kaito?”

Kaito: “Yeah, my bad. Shuichi’s not here yet, but he’s on his way.”

Kaito, why are you apologising just because you didn’t bring Shuichi when she didn’t even ask you to? The fact that Kaito apparently on some level feels like this counts as doing something wrong suggests that he assumes Kaede doesn’t think much of him on his own and only ever cares about seeing him if he has Shuichi with him.

(I’d be surprised that he doesn’t know Kaede better than that, but… maybe what other people think of him is another inherent blind spot in Kaito’s intuition. I never quite thought about it in that way before, but that really does make a lot of sense and is kind of heartbreaking to think about. Oh, Kaito, you idiot.)

Kaede: “I-I didn’t mean it like that! It’s just… I’m a little surprised you came to listen to classical music.”

But of course Kaede didn’t mean her comment in the way Kaito assumed! Instead, however, it seems that she similarly assumes that Kaito doesn’t think much of her on her own and would only ever come to her recital if he was tagging along with Shuichi, rather than for his own enjoyment.

Kaito: “Hey, of course I’d come. You’re the one playing, so there’s no way I’d miss it.”

Obviously, though! Kaito respects and admires Kaede a lot, so of course he’d want to see her doing the thing she’s best at and loves so much! Classical music may not be personally Kaito’s area of interest, but that doesn’t mean he can’t appreciate Kaede’s passion for it and get excited about it anyway!

Kaito: “I know you’re gonna do great! As far as I’m concerned, you’re the best pianist out there!

Everyone is supposed to think Kaede is the best pianist out there; that’s literally the point of her being the Ultimate Pianist. So I love how Kaito doesn’t care about that, and instead he makes a point that her being so great at this is his opinion of her.

While it’s less prominent in this AU, Hope’s Peak tends to do the rather unhealthy thing of putting people’s talents first and acting like that’s the only thing about them that matters. If Kaede is the Ultimate Pianist, then that means that her being so great at the piano is just the baseline expectation for someone with that title and not really anything special at all. But Kaito doesn’t see her as an Ultimate who’s already destined to be good at her thing – he sees her as a fully-rounded person first and foremost who just happens to have an amazing talent that deserves to be praised and admired rather than expected of her. And he does this despite spending all day every day surrounded by Ultimates and being one himself to the point that someone being talented at a particular thing should be difficult to see as anything special any more. He’s so good.

Kaito: “Be confident and knock their socks off. I’ll be watching from the seats!”

Kaede: “Hahaha, thanks. That’s so Kaito of you.”

I love Kaede using “Kaito” as an adjective, much like I’ve done many times throughout this commentary. His personality is so impactful and distinctive that sometimes there’s no better way to encapsulate it than that. And the fact that Kaede does this goes to show that she also appreciates Kaito’s outlook a lot, because she wouldn’t describe it in this way that expresses just how uniquely him it is if she didn’t.

Both Kaede and Kaito assume that the other doesn’t think much of them or see them as anything more than another close friend of Shuichi’s, but they’re so wrong! You should be better friends with each other as well, you two! You have so much in common other than just being Shuichi’s friend!

Kaito’s other two options for the festival aren’t especially noteworthy. He can talk to Ibuki before her concert and see that she’s already plenty hyped up about it without his help, or he can check out a fashion show featuring the class 1 girls and have “Junko” (really Mukuro) accuse him of being a perv when he’s genuinely just interested in the show. (Why wouldn’t he be interested? There’s nothing unnecessary in this world!)

However, Kaito’s appearances in other people’s events for this school festival are all quite noteworthy in one way or another.

One of these festival events is with Byakuya. This is not someone you’d expect Kaito to go out of his way to talk to, because he’s empatically neither someone Kaito respects for being invested in helping others, nor someone who might benefit from Kaito’s support. But apparently there is one reason Kaito is interested in him, and therefore approaches him after a speech he was giving at the festival…

Kaito: “I’ve got a question for you! The Togami Corporation funds all kinds of stuff, right? What about space exploration?”

…Which is, of course, SPACE.

Byakuya: “That is within our power. The Togami group, and myself, can move mountains. We are obligated to spread our grasp into space. A loser like you wouldn’t understand.”

Byakuya, you asshole, you are talking to the Ultimate Astronaut; if you actually cared about a Togami space program then he’d be an incredible asset to that. Evidently Byakuya does not actually care about space travel itself and is only interested in doing this as a way to make his name seem even more big and important.

Kaito: “I’m no loser! I’m Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars!”

…At one point in the main commentary I mentioned that Kaito never actually responds to being called useless (which “loser” is pretty analogous to) in this overblown way. But that was because that kind of overblown response would have sounded like an obviously-desperate defence during the times when he actually was afraid he was useless. Here in this AU, though, Kaito has no such issues going on, so all that’s happening here is his genuine overblown confidence. Being called a loser just bounced right off him; he knows he’s not.

(Also look at how Kaito would rather inform Byakuya that he’s the Luminary of the Stars, even though him being the Ultimate Astronaut is pretty relevant to this conversation. His luminary title is so much more important to him.)

Kaito: “But I see you understand how great outer space is.”

I am kind of surprised though that Kaito didn’t pick up on the fact that Byakuya doesn’t understand how great space is, at least not in any meaningful way.

Kaito: “Alright! I’ll make you my sidekick!”

…Kaito? Clearly Byakuya is not a potential sidekick, what are you doing.

Kaito then apparently spends a while following Byakuya around and pestering him about space despite his protests. Given this, I can only assume that in this instance Kaito means a somewhat different kind of sidekick, one that only applies in the context of space travel. Obviously Kaito is the foremost authority on space around here, so he wants to teach Byakuya all about space exploration and how he can make the Togami corporation the best at space. Maybe Kaito does realise that Byakuya only “understands” how great space is in the sense that he superficially recognises it’s big and important, and so Kaito wants to teach him exactly why it’s so great so that Byakuya will definitely decide to throw all of his money at it.

Kaito, cut your losses, dude. You could do so, so much better than him for a space sidekick.

On a similar but much more interesting note, Kaito can also interact with Izuru Kamukura. (Yes, he’s in this mode like it’s no big deal. Hajime is also in this mode. They’re never both seen or mentioned in the same scene, so I guess we’re just running with two alternate universes here?)

Kaito: “How about it? You wanna become my sidekick, too?”

And Kaito just casually offers this out of nowhere after they’ve done nothing but help set up the stage together.

Izuru: “It wouldn’t make sense to have a sidekick who is better than you at everything, right?”

Oh, Izuru, you don’t get it at all. Kaito absolutely can have sidekicks that are better and more capable than him. The only thing required for them to be his sidekick is that there’s something standing in the way of them reaching their full potential, something that Kaito’s support can help with.

Kaito: “Heh, Ultimate Hope? That’s nothin’! I’m Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars!”

Heh, there’s another instance of him seeing his luminary title as far more meaningful than any of these Ultimate talents, even the most Ultimate one of them all.

Izuru: “I can analyze everything about a future you would follow.”

Kaito: “Analyze? You’re just talking about predictions. My destiny’s too big to be predicted! Plus… I’ve got Shuichi and Maki Roll as my sidekicks. If we include their strengths, the possibilities are endless.”

Silly Izuru, assuming Kaito has limits, that there are things that might just be impossible for him. That’s not how Kaito works! And I love that Kaito brings his sidekicks into it, too; he believes in their potential so much! More than that, he believes that when people work together, they have unlimited potential that could never be predicted!

Izuru: “As I predicted, you are an idiot. How boring…”

Kaito: “That’s a bad habit. If you keep saying that, you’ll start to think everything’s boring. Are you okay with that?”

…See, Kaito gets it. He knew exactly what he was doing in this instance when he asked Izuru to be his sidekick. It doesn’t matter that Izuru is infinitely more talented than him – he still has weakness that he needs help with. After nothing but a brief session of helping each other with some manual labour, Kaito managed to pick up on that. His intuition is incredible.

This weakness of Izuru’s – to see everything as boring because he’s such a super-genius that he can predict every possible outcome – is, as far as I understand it, ultimately the reason he ended up contributing to the apocalypse in his canon storyline, because Junko convinced him it was the least boring thing he could do. But it didn’t necessarily have to be that way. If he’d only had the right help, he could have ended up using his talents to do far more productive things than ending the world.

If anyone could teach Izuru how to have more passion for life, to see the value and excitement in things even if he already knows everything about them, surely it would be Kaito? If anyone could let him realise that people are inherently unpredictable and he’s never going to always know everything that will happen, surely it would also be a beautifully reckless doofus like Kaito?

Plus, Izuru was supposedly implanted with every single talent imaginable, but only insofar as he’s one person. He evidently doesn’t have Kaito’s talent, because that’s all about teamwork and co-operation. Izuru is already a super-genius, but he could be so much better than he is. If Kaito could convince him that this interpersonal kind of talent is worthwhile to have as well, then he could teach him that, and Izuru would learn to value other people’s strengths no matter how predictable they are! There’s just so much Kaito could do for him.

Unfortunately, Izuru brushes Kaito off as boring again and ignores continued attempts to sidekick him, so we can only assume that Kaito eventually backed down and decided it wasn’t worth it because Izuru wasn’t willing to try and change. Which I’m only begrudgingly accepting because if Kaito did succeed in making Izuru listen to him then that’d be the beginning of a whole storyline that this side mode just doesn’t have the capacity for. Otherwise, I really do believe Izuru had the potential to change, and that Kaito would believe that too and not give up so easily.

Just… man, imagine Kaito being a part of actual Hope’s Peak canon and just casually averting the apocalypse because he saw Izuru’s weakness and did his usual Kaito thing and it worked.

At some other point during the festival, Nagito approaches Kaito and is disappointed to hear that the Ultimate Astronaut isn’t putting on any kind of show about space today.

Kaito: “Oh, are you interested in space, too?”

Nagito: “Of course I am! The vastness of space… that’s the only stage suitable for your talent, right!? There’s no mistake that you’ll be able to bring hope to the world from outer space!”

Kaito: “Hmm… something feels off.”

Nagito: “Off? What do you mean?”

Kaito: “You’re not interested in space… Or me. That’s how it feels. Like it’d be weird for you to cheer me on…”

Kaito’s intuition is so good. He barely knows Nagito, but he can sense well enough just from a few sentences that Nagito doesn’t actually care about Kaito himself or his interests at all and is only obsessed with the “hope” that he thinks Kaito represents. (Not that Nagito’s concept of it is anything close to the actual meaning of the word “hope”, but let’s not go into that again.) Kaito hasn’t seen enough of Nagito to know for sure that this is the kind of creep he is (like I imagine Nagito’s classmates are probably fully aware by now), but even without that, he can instinctively pick up on it straight away.

Kaito would probably have a lot of very interesting things to say to Nagito if he was exposed to him more and got to know his deal better, especially if it’d been in the context of an actual killing game. …But really, Kaito’s already had to do more than enough giving a piece of his mind to a selfish asshole who keeps making the killing game about himself and his own bullshit philosophy, and there’s so much more to Kaito’s character than just being stuck doing that all the time. Let’s give him a break.

Nagito: “Hmm… did I get too excited? I’m sorry if my blabbering made you uncomfortable… But it’s true that I want to cheer you on, Kaito…”

Kaito: “Well, I guess you’re not lying… My bad.”

No, Kaito, not your bad, because you were right! Just because he really isn’t lying about “wanting to cheer you on” doesn’t necessarily mean he cares about you.

This shows something neat about how Kaito treats his hunches that never really came up in the main storyline. If Kaito’s hunch about someone is negative, then he won’t act on it without further proof. Despite how much faith he puts in his intuition, he’ll give someone the benefit of the doubt if they deny whatever negative thing he suspects about them. (We saw this kind of thing very briefly in trial 2 when he picked up that Kirumi was trying to save an “everyone” who wasn’t here but then stopped pushing the subject when she denied it, even though she was lying and he probably still suspected that.) After all, it’s just a hunch. Kaito doesn’t want to form firm negative opinions of someone based only on that, because that’s not fair. That’s just being a dick to someone for what’s really no good reason, especially if it then turns out he was wrong about them and they didn’t deserve it.

Of course, Kaito is quite happy to act upon unfounded positive hunches about people, because why shouldn’t he? There’s nothing wrong with being nice to someone for no reason! Maybe it’ll turn out he was wrong about them and they didn’t really deserve his kindness, but then, still, no-one was hurt; he was just being a bit too reckless by believing in them is all. Kaito is so often recklessly kind like that – yet we can see here that he also tries not to be recklessly unkind. He’s so good.

Elsewhere in the school festival, Mikan is working as a receptionist for the haunted house exhibit. In an attempt to attract more guests, she tries inviting passers-by… one of whom happens to be Kaito. As you can imagine, this does not go down well.

After his initial freakout over the idea, which rather startles poor Mikan, Kaito tries to calm down and talk himself into it.

Kaito: “Wait, wait… I’m not scared. Everything in there is just fake, right?”

Obviously he doesn’t want to be seen as a coward, but this could also be partly because he feels bad for freaking out at Mikan when she was genuinely just trying to be a good receptionist for the exhibit and doesn’t want to disappoint her.

Mikan: “Yes… they’re all just props for the festival. So it’d make me happy if you tried it… sorta…”

Kaito: [looking ill] “Sorry… I still can’t.”

But I’m glad he realises that he’s not going to be able to handle this and backs out before actually forcing himself through the exhibit and fucking up his health a lot more. Sometimes these things just can’t be helped, and that’s okay, Kaito. Looking after yourself is more important than saving face or preventing someone from being mildly disappointed. (And don’t apologise for it, you moron.)

Since Kaito already did make himself feel a little ill just thinking about it, at least he happens to be with Mikan, so she’s able to take care of him.

What interests me the most about this scene, though, is just the fact that it’s here at all. I went over at great length in the main commentary how I’m absolutely convinced that Kaito’s phobia only existed as something that Tsumugi deliberately wrote into him so that she could weaken him when she wanted to. It didn’t make sense for Kaito to have that phobia for any other reason – it was in-universe bad writing that was justified in an out-universe sense because Tsumugi was a lazy writer.

But in this AU, Kaito is not a fictional character written by Tsumugi and nobody is trying to nerf him. There’s no in-story reason for Kaito to have the phobia in this AU – the only reason is that “he had it in canon”, but the reason he had it in canon does not apply here. Every other one of his character traits is here in this AU not only because he had them in canon, but because they’re all a part of what make him Kaito. But I think it could be argued that his phobia is not a part of what makes him Kaito – it sure as hell isn’t connected to anything else about his character at all – and therefore that it doesn’t need to be here.

So it honestly would have been entirely plausible to me to see Kaito not have the phobia in this AU. They could have instead had a scene of Kaito excitedly going into the haunted house exhibit with absolutely no explanation as to why he’s okay with this, because why should there be an explanation for something he’s never had a problem with in this universe? It would have been a delightful subtle hint as to the reason behind his phobia in canon. I’d have loved that. Alas.

Instead, it seems the writers just decided to take the in-universe bad writing that gave Kaito his phobia originally and make it a part of the out-universe writing for Kaito in this AU. Which I guess is acceptable if we consider that Gonta is also here at all.

Gonta had by far the most obviously-fictional backstory – raised by a race of creatures from a videogame? – and so that shouldn’t be a thing in this universe where he’s not made from fake memories. However, they also can’t just briefly edit it so that in this universe his forest family really were wolves, because wolves don’t have a proper language. Apparently, if a human child is isolated from any kind of language for a prolonged amount of time at the ages Gonta would have been at, it severely fucks up their ability to grasp language at all and they become basically non-functional. This is not an issue with fictional-Gonta, because Reptites are sapient and have a language that he’d have learned instead, so his backstory is perfectly consistent with the person he is. But if some kind of sapient non-human creature is not able to be part of his backstory… Gonta’s entire character falls apart and does not make sense. So Gonta existing as the Gonta we know in any non-fantasy universe in which he wasn’t made from fake memories is bad writing.

The writers had Gonta exist in this AU anyway, of course, because obviously they didn’t want to deprive us of our lovely gentleman friend in this mode, and if that means there’s technically some bad writing here, then so be it. So I guess with Kaito as well, they used that same philosophy of keeping him exactly as he is in canon, even including the parts that make a lot less sense when he’s not made out of Flashback Lights for Tsumugi’s story. Hence Kaito’s phobia still being a thing even when it kind of actually shouldn’t be.

A few more miscellaneous scenes

Kaito’s last friendly event isn’t nearly as interesting to me as the rest of them and I’m not covering it in full, especially because it features Leon and Teruteru and I refuse to quote a single word that comes out of Teruteru’s mouth. But it’s still at least a little worth talking about. The gist of it is that Leon and Teruteru begin to discuss going after girls and are shallow and gross, but they’re vague enough about it at first that it somehow spurs Kaito to start talking about “a man’s passion” and sound like he might be agreeing with them.

Kaito: “I never said I wanted to peep! I’m talking about chasing after unknown worlds!”

But he was never agreeing with them; they were actually having two entirely different conversations at once without realising it. When Kaito said “a man’s passion”, he was talking about going to space, obviously, what the hell did they think he meant?

Kaito: “Listen up! I’ll teach you what a man’s passion really is!”

Kaito’s concept of manliness does not and never did have anything to do with gross sexualising misogyny, and if anyone thinks that is what being a man is supposed to be about, then he’s going to set them straight, dammit!

…Okay, admittedly that is probably not what Kaito’s about to do – presumably he’s just going to try and tell them how great space is, incidentally sidestepping the actual problem with how they were behaving. Danganronpa’s occasionally-shitty writing is thankfully not so shitty as to directly include Kaito in it (except for the literally four single lines in the main story in which he is still nowhere near as bad as these idiots and which are out-of-character outliers that should be ignored). However, it’s unfortunately still bad enough to not go and actually have the dudes who are shitty be called out by another guy for being like this. But if Danganronpa’s writing wasn’t Danganronpa’s writing, I really feel like this is the kind of thing Kaito would absolutely do.

While the writing isn’t letting Kaito properly acknowledge how gross those two are being, it is otherwise at least having him be very Kaito about this. Even if the other two were being legit and non-gross about it, Kaito would still rather talk about going to space than getting a girlfriend, obviously; space is way more exciting! (…Which, actually, means that this scene is some actual evidence supporting that that one line in one of his Salmon Team hangouts about crushes on girls is likely to be out of character for Kaito. And the one about reading dirty books, for that matter. Ha! Take that, clueless intern!)

Anyway, thankfully this is the last piece of Danganronpa shittiness that goes anywhere near Kaito that I am ever going to have to defend him from being seen as a part of. Let’s move onto something better.

The final year’s seasonal event is less of a specific school event; it takes place in winter close to graduation (the Japanese school year ends in March) and generally involves characters reflecting on their time here over the past three years. I’ve already covered a bunch of the ones I find interesting in conjunction with friendly events they’re connected to, but here’s a few of interest that are a bit more standalone.

Shuichi happens to come across Maki and Himiko on the morning of the winter closing ceremony. This is an unusual trio to see together in this universe and definitely has no particular out-universe reason behind it at all.

Shuichi and Maki are both feeling rather sentimental about the fact that graduation is coming up soon, but Himiko is having none of it.

Himiko: “Ugh, don’t make that face! It’s not like we’re graduating today!”

Shuichi: “H-Himiko?”

Himiko: “Besides, we can still see each other after we graduate! I’ll invite you all to my magic show! My magic can still improve. The next time I show it to you, it’ll be even more amazing! See? Why don’t you guys try to think of the future in a more fun way? Look forward to it!”

Look at her go! She’s been spending enough time with Tenko over the past three years to have reached basically the same point in her development that she reaches in canon in terms of how upbeat and optimistic she’s able to be. This is just the kind of thing that can help cheer Shuichi and Maki up when they’re feeling down, and also exactly the kind of role she’d be playing in this trio in canon as they’re trying to get by and deal with their trauma in the outside world. Since this scene rather pointedly has these three together (when they’re otherwise not seen together in any other scene in this mode), it’s got to be a deliberate nod to the canon ending, so it serves to show us that this is the kind of thing Himiko would have been doing for them there, too. In this universe she’s not been specifically inspired by trying to fill Kaito’s shoes or anything, but she’s doing this anyway simply because she’s a performer and this is what her magic is all about.

Shuichi: “Hey… Kaede played a performance at Maki’s orphanage, right? Why not have Himiko do a show at the orphanage too?”

Himiko: “A show for orphans, huh? Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

Aww, that would be adorable! Both Kaede and Himiko perform to make people smile, and those kids definitely deserve to smile. Also it’s lovely to see confirmation that Kaede really did end up going to Maki’s orphanage and it went off without a hitch.

Himiko: “I might even get an apprentice. How about it, Maki?”

Maki: “…I can’t imagine you as a master. I think you’re moving too fast.”

Nah, Maki, I think Himiko would be great at that. She ended up greater than her own master despite seeming to be the apprentice on the surface, so I think that makes her plenty qualified to be a master herself and train her own apprentices now.

(Since Himiko’s master actually exists in this universe, I am Very Invested in her reuniting with him one day. She needs to help him realise that having messed up in front of her one time doesn’t mean he’s failed her because she still looks up to him and cares about him even if she’s become greater than him, and he was being an Idiot to ever feel like she’d be better off without him because they are not just master and apprentice but also friends.)

Meanwhile, for Kaito’s final year event, one of his choices is obviously the most correct and worthwhile, but I’ll save the best for last. If he instead chooses to go for a walk on his own, Kaito bumps into Kokichi and has a predictably infuriating conversation with him, most of which I’m not going to bother covering, but there’s one part of it that I find interesting enough to talk about.

Kaito: “You haven’t changed a bit in these last 3 years…”

This seems at a glance just like a general way to express exasperation, but it is very like Kaito to focus on Kokichi not having changed. After all, Kaito’s watched his sidekicks grow and change so much and is generally invested in the idea of people changing as they meet and form friendships with others. But of course none of that happened to Kokichi over these three years, because, as ever, he refused to let himself change.

Kaito: “You’re still like this at your age? Doesn’t it make your parents cry? Do you even visit?”

Some very good questions! What is going on with regards to Kokichi’s parents? Did he live with them? Does he visit? Are they in the picture at all?

All questions that like hell we’re ever going to get the answers to, of course, and I don’t have nearly enough basis to bother speculating. But I do love that Kaito has thought about this. He’s trying to make some sense of why Kokichi is this way, but he’s also thinking about what Kokichi being this way must be doing to the people out there who actually unconditionally care about him.

(At least, Kaito is automatically assuming that Kokichi’s parents care about him, even though them being assholes could potentially begin to explain a few things. Apparently Kaito considers parents being decent to be the norm, which is another indication that his own parents being assholes is not the answer to why they’re not around.)

Kokichi: “Hey now, you don’t really ask the supreme leader of evil such normie questions. Also, if you wanna know my origin story, you’re gonna have to bet two lives for it.”

Kaito: “Idiot, everyone’s only got one life and there’s no way I’d waste mine on your story!”

Kokichi: “Aw maaan, how boring. If you’re not gonna bother learning the truth about me…”

Kokichi, of course, responds with some evasive insincere bullshit rather than actually be honest about himself for a second, and then acts like it’s Kaito’s fault for not caring enough to want to learn. It couldn’t possibly be that Kaito really does want to understand him better and Kokichi is just refusing to open up because of his trust issues, nope, not at all, nothing is ever Kokichi’s fault.

For the other obviously-not-correct option for his winter event, Kaito goes to the dining hall and comes across Hifumi, who just finished submitting some fan comics of his before the end of the year.

Hifumi: “The crunch time for them was difficult for even my golden hand… But as you can see, I overcame it and triumphed! I’ve raised the bar for fanfic yet again!”

Kaito: “In other words, you wanted to show your manliness, huh? Good for you!”

While I’m not entirely sure why he decided to bring it up now out of nowhere, Kaito’s concept of manliness is still not inherently gendered. He’s just talking about Hifumi giving it his all and wanting to show how good he is at what he does. It’s about being true to yourself!

Kaito: “Alright! Then next you can make a manga about me, Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars!”

Hifumi: “Huh? A manga about you, Mr. Momota?”

Kaito: “It’s gonna be a legendary manga! If you make it about me, it’s gonna be a global hit! Cuz it’s gonna be filled with manga-style adventure before it even gets to the space part!”

What an absolute dork. What I can only assume he means by this is that he’s going to have Hifumi manga-ify the ridiculous make-believe games he played as a kid. Obviously that’s the kind of story that everyone’s going to be able to appreciate, children and adults alike, right? And in his narration at the end of this scene, he calls this his biography, because it’s all definitely true. Oh, Kaito.

Hifumi: “Well, that aside, if I’m gonna make it… It’ll definitely be a global hit! You’ve got a good eye for talent, Mr. Momota!”

Kaito: “Of course! I’m a hero with many sidekicks!”

Kaito is citing his status as a hero with sidekicks not as part of why his story will obviously be a global hit, but as a separate thing, in terms of why he’s good at spotting talent. Because he is! His hero-and-sidekick thing is all about seeing the potential in people and bringing it out of them, and he’s so good at it!

Reflections with the sidekicks

But anyway, speaking of Kaito’s sidekicks, let’s get back to the obviously correct option for his final year event.

The stars are especially pretty tonight… What will you do?

- Take a walk with my sidekicks

Kaito’s POV is again being wonderfully Kaito – of course he’d notice that the stars are pretty. He definitely goes for walks on clear nights all the time just so that he can look up at them. Space.

(How many times do you want to bet he’s tripped over something and made a doofus of himself because he was too busy looking up at the stars to watch where he was actually going? A lot. The answer is a lot, I will accept nothing lower.)

Kaito: “You can see the stars pretty well tonight, yeah? Before long, I’ll be up there with ‘em!”

Maki: “The stars are pretty, but… is this really the only reason why you called me out this late?”

Shuichi: “He does this a lot…”

See, he does do this all the time! And what better way to enjoy the beauty of the night sky than by sharing it with his sidekicks? This isn’t even a training session; they’re just hanging out under the stars.

Shuichi: “But isn’t it kind of fun?”

Maki: “…I never said this wasn’t fun.”

And Shuichi and Maki have come to appreciate Kaito’s impromptu starlight walks too! They are friends.

Kaito: “So many things happened in the last three years after I met you guys! We did some school stuff, went to Sonia’s country during the break and solved a case!”

This is indeed another thing that happened. One of Shuichi’s friendly events is with Sonia, in which she tells him about an unsolved conspiracy causing problems among the nobles of her country that ultimately boils down to a lot of missing pets. Since that’s his area of expertise, Shuichi offers to look into it for her, and Sonia takes him up on that. This is more of him trying to help people out using his detective skills, like Kaito was encouraging him to do near the beginning!

And while Shuichi didn’t mention his friends at all during that conversation with Sonia, apparently Kaito later heard about it and invited himself and Maki along. He probably just wanted the three of them to have an adventure together, didn’t he.

Maki: “Hm, I still don’t know why I had to tag along, though.”

Kaito: “You were great at wiping out all those assassins! That’s my sidekick for you!”

Maki: “Correction. I protected us from danger and Shuichi solved the case…”

It sure sounds like they did have quite the adventure, too. Maki used her assassin skills to protect her friends! She even seems to realise this! (Kaito’s wording doeees kinda imply that, while he’s trying to gloss over it, she might have straight-up killed those enemy assassins, though. That’s a shame if so, but it was probably the only way to keep her friends safe.)

Maki: “If anything, I don’t know why you’re tagging along, Kaito.”

Shuichi: “If Kaito hadn’t invited you, Maki, then Sonia and I could have been in big trouble.”

Kaito: “Issuing orders to sidekicks is the most important job a hero has!”

Maki: “Then your job was over before we even left the country.”

Kaito was helping, you guys. His decision to bring Maki was a good call, but then he also came with them for, uh, you know, moral support! …Which probably genuinely did help them, at least a little, because Kaito is the actual best at moral support. If Maki did kill those enemy assassins, they could potentially have been the first people she’s killed since enrolling in Hope’s Peak, which might have caused a setback in her growth that Kaito would definitely have helped talk her through.

Kaito: “After graduation, when I’m in space, I’ll look for you guys from up above!”

Maki: “Huh? You’d never find us.”

Shuichi: “Ah, well, he might be able to see the approximate area…”

It’s lovely how Kaito says this even though it’s extremely unrealistic to think he could actually see them from there. He wants his sidekicks to be able to feel, even while he’s gone, that he’s watching over them from space!

(This is also a sentiment that very much applies in canon when he really is gone. He died up there in space, which means he’s still up there and watching over them from among the stars, isn’t he?)

Kaito: “And then I’ll take you guys into space one day. After all, I need my sidekicks to help me out.”

Kaito pulls this out of absolutely nowhere despite how clearly unfeasible it is. And the idea that it’s because he’d need them to help him is obviously an excuse, because that’s not what the word “sidekick” actually means to him.

Kaito just… doesn’t want to be without them for such a prolonged amount of time. He’s so positive-minded that he’d always have thought of only the good things about going to space, so his comment just a moment ago might have been the first time it’s properly occured to him that going to space does have its downsides, because he’s going to have to say goodbye to Shuichi and Maki and leave them behind for months at a time. There’ll be video chats and such, but it won’t be the same. Kaito wants to keep being with them all the time not just for their sake but for his sake, because even if he still isn’t calling them this in this AU either, they’re his best friends and he loves them to bits.

So obviously that just means that they’ve got to come to space with him too, yep, that’s definitely plausible and definitely something they’d both want, and Kaito’s not going to think about anything else.

Shuichi: “You need us to save you, Kaito?”

Maki: “Well, yeah… We’re the only ones who would do it.”

Kaito: “Hey, Shuichi, what do you mean ‘save me’!? Maki Roll, what do you mean, ‘the only ones’!? Geez, what sassy sidekicks. I gotta teach you guys some manners.”

They are the best sassy sidekicks and I love the way they’re making such affectionate jabs at him like that. He’s an idiot in some ways, but he’s their idiot and they wouldn’t have it any other way. And they really would be there for him if he actually genuinely needed help, even though they’re making it sound like a joke on the surface and Kaito is bound to be assuming that they don’t mean it as anything more than that, goddammit Kaito.

Shuichi: “…How did we end up agreeing to go into space with Kaito?”

Maki: “There’s no way it would go that smoothly. You really are all talk, Kaito.”

Kaito: “Shut it! The impossible is possible, all you gotta do is make it so! It’s already been decided!”

Bad sidekicks, stop telling Kaito it’s impossible! And, okay, technically it isn’t completely impossible for Shuichi and Maki to potentially become astronauts and go to space with Kaito if they both trained hard enough. But that’d require them to put in far more effort than they’d be willing to do just to be able to keep Kaito company in space, considering that space isn’t their passion and they have their own lives they want to lead. Of course Kaito knows this – he just doesn’t want to think about leaving them behind, and so he’s trying to use his own line to tell himself that bringing them to space with him is something he’s totally allowed to imagine happening.

Kaito: “Both of you gotta keep up your training!”

Shuichi: “I don’t know if we’ll ever end up in space, but… I’ll keep on training.”

Maki: “…If I feel like it.”

But regardless of how unrealistic the space part is, they will definitely be keeping up their training, even while Kaito’s up in space without them! Including Maki, despite that she’s acting all dismissive about it here. (She’s smiling when she says that.)

You made a promise for the future with your sidekicks…

Kaito, no, that is not what you did. They did not actually promise to come to space with you. (It’ll be okay, though! You’ll be friends with the other astronauts too, because that’s what astronauts do! And you’ll get plenty of time to see Shuichi and Maki in between missions when you’re back on Earth, and plenty of video chats from space!)

Since this scene is only available while you’re playing as Kaito, it has more of a focus on Kaito’s perspective. Of course Shuichi and Maki also each have a third year seasonal event with Kaito that I’m about to get to, and theirs focus more on their perspective, namely what Kaito’s done for them. Because that gets covered in their scenes, Kaito’s scene is free to be about what Shuichi and Maki mean to him, beyond the purely selfless sense of him being proud of how much they’ve grown – and they’re his best friends that he wants to keep hanging out with and having adventures with forever! This scene isn’t really about them as his sidekicks. They’re more to Kaito than just that, even if he still won’t actually use the word “friend”, the big doofus.

Let’s move onto Maki’s scene, then, and talk about what he’s done for her. (Both Maki and Shuichi’s scenes with Kaito are only one-on-one, so Shuichi’s not here for this.)

Kaito: “It was a lot of work taking care of you guys these past three years. You didn’t even try to talk to people in the beginning.”

Maki: “Yeah. If you hadn’t annoyed me so much with your constant pestering… I probably would have never been able to talk to Shuichi and the others so casually.”

Kaito helped her relearn how to be friends! Here is confirmation that he very much did employ copious amounts of stubborn pestering to get through to her, not that that aspect of how it happened was ever in question. Kaito is even actually more or less admitting that it was pretty hard work getting through to her – he refers to both her and Shuichi when he says that, but let’s face it, he definitely had to put in a lot more effort in Maki’s case at first.

Kaito: “You’re being pretty frank today. It seems you finally understand how great I am!”

It is unusual for Maki to be openly admitting things like this – which is also a big sign of her progress! And it’s very like Kaito to respond to her genuine expression of how much he’s done for her by being over the top about it rather than just directly, earnestly accepting it. In this instance it’s definitely not that he’s having any issues that make him not truly believe he deserves such thanks. So I guess it’s instead just due to him feeling kind of awkward when it comes to heartfelt, down-to-earth things like this, and he’s more comfortable putting on the super-awesome-hero fiction for it. (More on this in Shuichi’s scene.)

Kaito: “Or… are you sad because graduation is getting closer?”

Maki: “…Yes.”

Kaito: “…That’s a bit too frank.”

It does seem that Kaito’s also kind of awkward just thinking about generally sentimental things at all. After all, we saw in his scene that he doesn’t like thinking about the fact that he won’t be seeing his sidekicks every day any more once they graduate.

Maki: “Well, there’s no point being sentimental. It’s not like we won’t ever see each other again.”

Looks like Maki could tell that Kaito’s also feeling more sentimental than he wants to be. At least Maki is capable of being pragmatic about it even while she’s feeling sad. (Kaito would of course be capable of being as optimistic about it as he can, but for his part he doesn’t even really like to think about the sad bits in the first place if he can avoid it.)

Kaito: “Yeah… you’re right. It’ll be hard for me to see you on a daily basis after this, but… it’s not goodbye forever.”

Maki: “What do you mean, it’ll be hard?”

Kaito: “Hm? Well, because I’ll be up in space, obviously.”

Maki: “Oh, yeah… You still want to go there.”

Obviously! Keep up, Maki Roll! Don’t tell me you ever thought for a second that he wasn’t serious about going there, or that he’d change his mind one day! I’m going to instead put this reaction down her just having not quite properly thought about what that means in terms of the future of their friendship, in that he’s not going to be able to be around as much. Kind of like how Kaito himself in his scene apparently hadn’t thought about it properly until now.

Maki’s looking distant and a little sad in her last line there, and it seems like Kaito picks up on that.

Kaito: “But you’re my sidekick! If something happened to you, I’d fly back here, right away! I look out for my sidekicks! Cuz I’m a hero!”

Therefore obviously it’ll totally be possible for him to do this if Maki needed him to! Aborting a space mission on short notice in the middle of it and zooming back to Earth for personal reasons is definitely something an astronaut can do, right? This is adorably like the previous scene in which Kaito insisted they could totally come to space with him. He really does not want to think about the fact that going to space will unavoidably separate him from his sidekicks for months at a time.

While the last scene was more from Kaito’s perspective and was therefore about what he’d want – his sidekicks in space with him! – this one is reversed. This scene has been about what Kaito’s done for Maki, and her talking about that has made him focus on what she’d want. So of course he would selflessly abandon space and come right back to help her if something serious happened and she really did need him! …If only he could. His reluctance at the idea of being separated from his sidekicks is, just as you’d expect, also partly out of selflessness for their sake, in terms of him not being there to support them like the hero he’s supposed to be. Kaito can’t bear the thought of Maki needing him and him being uselessly stuck out in space, not able to help her.

(She’d be okay, though, Kaito! Maki’s got other friends too who’d be able to help her in person. And if she really did need Kaito in particular, video chats would be enough, because Kaito always helps the most with just words.)

Maki: “Huh… that again? Well… I’ll be waiting, but I won’t be expecting much…”

Maki is of course fully aware of how unfeasible these claims of Kaito’s are, but it seems, based on her wistful smile at the end, that she at least understands and appreciates how much he genuinely wants to be able to do that for her if she ever needs it. He is a hero who looks out for his sidekicks, after all, and Maki knows this, no matter how ridiculous she might think that way of wording it is.

Last but not least, Shuichi’s scene begins with him waking up early on the day of the winter closing ceremony. (This is remarkable in and of itself, considering how emphatically not a morning person Shuichi was in canon. Perhaps that was partly for mental health reasons, though, and after three years of being friends with Kaito and Kaede and working on his issues, he’s got better at waking up in the mornings.)

Thinking about only having a short time left at this academy makes you sad… And from that comes restlessness. What will you do?

- Exercise is perfect at a time like this

It’s lovely how Shuichi thinks of this entirely by himself as something that’ll improve his mood. Kaito really has taught him well!

So Shuichi heads to the school field and finds that Kaito had the same idea as him.

Kaito: “Oh, hey there bro! Are you training too?”

Shuichi: “Yeah! It’s good to sweat some things out!”

Kaito: “Right on! That’s the spirit! It’s all thanks to your training with me!”

Of course it’s all thanks to his training with Kaito! Shuichi would never have even considered doing this kind of thing to help himself if Kaito hadn’t been his friend.

Shuichi: “…You’re right. You befriended me, and encouraged me, and gave me advice… You’ve… helped me so much, Kaito…”

Kaito: “Hey, hey. What’s all that about? Don’t dampen the mood, bro.”

…But Kaito still can’t quite just earnestly accept such heartfelt gratitude. This is kind of a reverse of last scene with Maki, in which he responded to her acknowledgement of how much he’d done by being kind of flippantly over-the-top about it. This time, he started with the over-the-top “well, it’s because I’m awesome!”, but Shuichi responding with an earnest “no, you really are, thank you so much,” still managed to wrong-foot him. And again, this isn’t the canon storyline where Kaito had heaps of issues and ended up with a gaping hole in his sense of self-worth, so it’s not because he doesn’t feel like he deserves any kind of thanks at all.

It seems bizarre to be using this word for Kaito, but… he might actually be kind of modest? Sure, he’ll act over-the-top about his achievements, but it’s like he only really thinks of that as a fiction for the sake of keeping up his usual luminary image, an image that people might buy into and play along with because it’s fun and it helps encourage them, but not because they really think he’s that ridiculously amazing. If someone takes his overblown words at face value and seems to genuinely feel that they’re true, then he’ll back up and try to brush it off, because nah, he’s all right, but there’s no way he could really be quite that awesome. (You are that awesome, Kaito. At least when it comes to supporting your sidekicks.)

Shuichi: “Ah, sorry… I was just thinking about what we’ve built over the years…”

Friendship! You built the best adorablest friendship, is what you did. (Also what are you doing apologising for this, Shuichi; there is absolutely nothing wrong in telling Kaito how amazing he’s been even if he’s too much of an awkward dork to properly accept it.)

Shuichi: “If I ever find myself in trouble, I can look back at my time with you for inspiration, Kaito.”

Just like he’s also able to do in canon even though Kaito’s not there any more!

Kaito: “That’s true, but… Graduation won’t be the end for us!”

But thankfully, in this universe, Kaito is always going to be there. (Just maybe sometimes only over video chats, from space.) He doesn’t ever want their friendship to end!

Kaito: “Listen up! Even if things get tough in the future…”

Shuichi: “Don’t bear it all by yourself, right?”

Kaito: “Oh… well if you get it, then it’s all good.”

Pfft, I like how Kaito seems almost miffed that Shuichi stole his line. But it definitely is okay so long as he understands that, and evidently Kaito has told him this enough times over the years that Shuichi has that well and truly ingrained in his mind by now and already knew exactly how Kaito was going to finish his sentence.

Kaito: “When things are bad, me, Maki Roll, or Kaede will help you carry your burdens. As long as you understand that, you can get stronger.”

And it’s good to see that Kaito isn’t just focusing things on himself as the sole figure of support (after all, he wouldn’t have any reason to in this AU where he hasn’t been having massive issues). He’s happy to remind Shuichi that he has other friends as well who’ll be there to help him.

Shuichi: “The same goes for you, Kaito. If there’s anything I can help you with, just say so.”

Shuichi is also so very good. Every time Kaito says something along those lines to Shuichi, I’m always burning with the desperate urge to tell him that goes for you too, Kaito, you selfless idiot, you deserve it – so it’s really lovely and cathartic to see Shuichi actually telling him that. He’s such a caring friend and really would be more than happy to do anything for Kaito if he ever needed it.

Kaito: “Heh, now we’re talking. Of course you’d help me! I’m the hero and you’re my sidekick!”

…

*tilts head almost 180 degrees*

Who are you and what have you done with Kaito.

This is not how Kaito works. He seems to be actually acknowledging that helping the hero is one of the roles of a sidekick, but no it isn’t, not in Kaito’s definition!

Okay, so. When I was starting to think about writing these UTDP bonus posts, I had one hell of a hot take in mind for this line. That take was that the reason Kaito says this here is because in this AU, he’s not “fictional”.

As I explain in greater length in my post about Kaito’s entire character arc from my main blog, it seems reasonable to assume that Kaito’s childlike black-and-white view on heroes and sidekicks comes from the fact that he was in-universely written to be the perfect ideal hero to inspire Shuichi. It’s somewhat unrealistic to think that if Kaito had actually experienced growing up, he wouldn’t have gradually gained a more nuanced appreciation for fiction, as he started reading more complex stories containing more fallible heroes who were still capable of being inspiring not despite but because of that. So I was going to say that Kaito not being fictional in this AU and having actually grown up meant he’d been able to gain that greater understanding of what made a hero inspiring, which’d mean that Kaito’s usual double-standard about heroes simply doesn’t exist in this version of him, and therefore that he genuinely means it here when he says of course Shuichi can and should help him out too.

…Except that clearly doesn’t track with some of the other scenes in this AU, now, does it. Mostly I’m talking about the scenes with Ryoma, in which Kaito’s issues about heroes clearly still apply to Ryoma in the same way they did in canon. There’s also that one scene with Hifumi in which Kaito is quite happy to have his ridiculous childhood games made into a manga and doesn’t seem to be aware of the fact that mayyyybe a lot of people wouldn’t actually find them to be particularly compelling narratives.

And while the scene with Kaito’s phobia isn’t about the hero issue, the point I was trying to get at there is related to this. It doesn’t quite make sense that Kaito has his phobia if he’s not “fictional”, just like it maybe doesn’t quite make sense that he has this view of heroes either. But ultimately, when writing this AU, the writers just decided to keep the characters entirely as they were in V3 canon, even including the parts of them that don’t actually quite make sense if they’re not made out of Flashback Lights for Tsumugi’s story.

So never mind, scratch all that. I only brought it up because I found it an interesting concept to think about, but it’s definitely not what’s going on here. Kaito not being “fictional” in this AU is not actually why he’s willing to admit that of course Shuichi would help him out as his sidekick.

Instead, presumably the reason Kaito is saying this here is that… he doesn’t really mean it, the idiot. It is at least not quite as bad as in canon where he knows full well he already has problems and is consciously lying when he insists that he’d totally ask for help if he needed it. Here, it’s more just that he’s never expecting he will need help and so he’ll never have to actually think about whether or not this claim is really true. Ultimately, it’s easier for him to just casually claim this here, because the alternative is being all “oh but I won’t need your help!”, which’d just make him sound like he doesn’t even appreciate Shuichi’s willingness to be there for him.

I do like to believe, though, that whenever Kaito does run into some kind of trouble in future in this AU (and I say “when” not “if” because nobody can ever go through life without having at least some problems here and there), he’ll actually be able, with Shuichi and Maki’s prodding and reassurance, to admit it and ask for help. Without the stress of the killing game making Kaito tunnel-vision into the fact that he needs to keep supporting his sidekicks and that the only thing that matters is how much of a difference he can make to everyone’s survival, I think he’d be a lot less completely and utterly averse to acknowledging weakness. Plus, hopefully his astronaut training will drill it into him that part of good communication is telling your teammates when there’s something wrong with you, because holy crap is it only going to make things way worse not just for you but for everyone involved if you don’t, you moron. And the more Shuichi and Maki grow and the less obviously they need his help and support most of the time, the more Kaito will come to consciously see them not just as his sidekicks but as his friends, and friends can open up to each other about anything.

One way or another, Kaito is bound to eventually realise what an idiot he’s being and overcome these issues of his. He just needs to live for long enough to get that far.

Kaito: “Alright then… wanna run for a while? Better hurry, or you’ll be eating my dust!”

Shuichi: “Ah, hey! No fair, Kaito!”

Working up a good sweat, you chased Kaito all the way to homeroom.

Aaaaa look at them racing each other off into the sunrise. They are friends and they are going to live happily ever after. Kaito is going to go to space multiple times under normal circumstances and come back alive each time, and also one day learn not to be a hypocrite about asking people for support. Shuichi is going to start his own detective agency where he exclusively takes on jobs that involve helping people and continue to have confidence in his talent in between relying on his friends for help when he needs to.

And Maki… I refuse to accept that she’s just going to have to go back to killing people in this universe when she’s come so far; that is Not Okay. Either Hope’s Peak really is going to somehow absolve her of being an assassin as part of its “set for life” policy, or Kaito and Shuichi are going to do something about it. Maki may still try to claim that assassins are necessary and therefore that totally justifies her being an assassin – there’s no real evidence in this AU that she quite got over that part of her issues – but Kaito would be having none of that. So Shuichi’s first job as a full-fledged detective may have to be to find evidence of her assassin cult’s awful deeds and report it to some kind of authorities that can take it down and take custody of all the kids from the orphanages and give all the other child-slave assassins some goddamn therapy because the rest of them don’t have a Kaito. Then Maki can rid herself of her awful past forever and get a normal job, maybe as an actual child caregiver, where she never has to think about killing anyone ever again and can live a relatively happy life after everything she’s been through, because I say so.

I just love these three so so so much and want them to get to be happy and keep being adorable friends for the rest of their lives, because they’re the best and they deserve it. So I’m glad we have this AU where nothing particularly drastic goes wrong at all, everyone is fully real, and their adorable friendships are still there like in canon, so that there’s at least one world in which we can imagine that they really are going to be okay.

#danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #ndrv3 #bonus content #ultimate talent development plan #commentary

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queenmylovely · 6 years ago

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Just My Luck; Part 2

Summary: John deacon x fem!reader. John and Reader send each other letters. Reader and Jeanne delve deeper into Queen.

Warnings: Cussing, slow burn

Word Count: 3.4k

A/N: So, I think there was a malfunction or something because all of the sudden, none of my links to this post had any text, just tags. Hopefully this fixes it. Anyway, more Queen and John in this as well as a get-to-know-you for Reader and Jeanne. Let me know if you like it!

Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14 (Epilogue), Masterlist

🍀🍀🍀

John had much less autonomy than you did when writing his letter. With Roger and Freddie taking over the pen, and Brian’s editing skills, basically all John actually wrote was his name, using the nickname you had given him when you were younger. Luckily, all of the boys had used some restraint as well as information about y/n that John provided them, and the letter was mostly believable. John was pretty happy with the result.

Dear y/n,

I am so glad that you reached out to me, love, it has been far too long. I feel the need to apologise to you as well for not finding a way to write you sooner. Though I do thank you for the effort you put into your research. It is very flattering to have someone like yourself go to any lengths just to write to me. I have missed reading your letters and knowing about your life greatly, and would love to stay in touch. You can send letters to this address: 836 Bonfield Ave., P.O. Box 74, London, England, 02519, and it will get to me.

How are you? Did you enjoy your time at the University of Washington? Are you still pursuing teaching like you wanted to back when we were younger? Your passion for learning and education never ceased to amaze me. Where in Europe are you spending time? I have done some extensive travelling in Europe myself, so I could be pretty familiar with wherever you are staying. I look forward to hearing from you again.

Ever Yours,

Johnny

The letter didn’t mention visiting each other because, as Roger said, “You have to play hard to get, Deaky. Always leave ‘em wanting more.”

Although John wasn’t so sure, with Freddie, and especially Brian, agreeing with Roger, he consented.

John mailed the letter as soon as it was written, which meant the very same day. Everyone accompanied him to make sure that he actually went through with it, as well as making sure he had the correct postage. But he would have been fine without them. As soon as it was actually written, John was sure that he wanted to send it, and nothing would stop him. He scoured his flat for stamps and finally found a couple in the bottom of his desk’s lowest drawer. He quickly pasted them on, addressed the envelope to you, and was out the door, boys following close behind. Knowing exactly where the closest post box was, he walked with purpose and long strides. When he got there, he paused, waiting for the other boys, the slightly shorter Roger and Freddie trying to catch their breath in the interim. All of the sudden, he turned, lifted the flap of the slot, and pushed the letter in without a second thought. John spun around and smiled at the boys, receiving grins back from the three. They walked back to John and Brian’s flat, joking and giggling all the way.

_____

Back in Seattle, you were trying to busy yourself as much as possible during the unbearably long wait. This meant throwing yourself into work and school. This actually worked in your favor, receiving the first A+ in your most difficult class. Your boss at the coffee shop also noticed that you were taking on more at work and coming in for extra shifts, so she promoted you to a shift lead. Even though you would be leaving for three months pretty soon, you were happy for the raise.

Jeanne was also a welcomed distraction. She and you would gossip about people at the café and friends from undergrad. The two of you also loved watching TV, catching reruns of “The Brady Bunch” that reminded you of childhood memories and watching this new comedy show with that guy from National Lampoon magazine called “Saturday Night Live.” Jeanne had a deal with you that she would watch the show live with you every other week as long as you went to bars, discoes, and clubs with her, with the stipulation that she would watch the taped show the next day with you.

It was on one of these nights back in November that you had really taken notice of the band, Queen, in the first place. Jeanne and you had been sitting at the bar, drinking wine and a gin & tonic, respectively, when all of the sudden Jeanne started freaking out.

“Oh my gosh, y/n, this is it, this is it!” she yelled at you over the music.

“This is what, Jeanne, the night that we realize we’re wasting our time here and should probably just stay at home?” you quipped, having already fended off the advances of some unsavory dudes, you were done being at the bar.

“No, no shut up. This is the song I was telling you about, Bohemian Rhapsody, so be quiet and listen!”

And you did. You listened for the rest of the 5:55 song. It wasn’t enough. How were you supposed to grasp the entirety of the song in just one listen, in a crowded and loud bar? That’s exactly what you told Jeanne.

“And another thing, how have I not heard this before? And when can I hear it again?” you urgently asked Jeanne.

“See, I told you you’d love it. And it doesn’t get played very much on a lot of radio stations because it’s so long,” she explained to you.

“It was long, but that’s a stupid reason not to play a song as good as that. Who’s it by?” you inquired.

“That band, Queen. They have another song we like, “Killer Queen,” do you remember?” Jeanne prompted.

“Oh yeah, when we heard that we couldn’t stop singing it at each other. I guess I really like their music,” you replied, laughing. You normally relied on Jeanne to relay the music facts to you. Liking the songs and knowing the lyrics was one thing, but knowing the titles and band names, not to mention band members’ names is too much for your brain to keep up with.

“And to answer your other question, I guess it’s our lucky day, because I heard that Wall of Sound just got in the single the other day, and I’m going to buy it for the both of us to share,” Jeanne said, smiling and giving you a “you’re welcome” look.

“You are the best friend I could hope for. You’re amazing. I’m eternally grateful,” you piled on the praise, knowing she was never one to turn down a compliment.

At the record store on Monday, Jeanne bought the precious single. It was all the both of you could do not to run to the car and speed all the way home to listen to it as soon as possible. Once at your apartment, you got ready for the listening experience by closing the blinds, turning off the lights, and lighting all the candles the two of you had. Then, you laid down of the floor so that your heads were right next to each other but bodies going the opposite way. Jeanne had to sit up slightly to actually put the needle on the record, but quickly moved back and took a synchronised deep breath in with you.

The song played through and there was nothing to do but play it again. After the second play-through, you both knew it was okay to talk. Jeanne restarted the song and the two of you discussed your favorite parts, what gave you chills, and how good each part of it was.

“That guitar solo, fuckin’ out of this world,” Jeanne said straight-faced. That’s how you knew, to her, it was a fact, not merely an opinion.

“Agreed. I still can’t get over how they layered their voices in the middle section. Just thinking about it is giving me goosebumps.”

The song came to an end for the third time, but this time Jeanne’s and your voices joined Freddie’s own once he sang “nothing really matters, anyone can see...” until the end.

“What’s on the B-side?”

“Um, I don’t know, let’s flip it over and check it out,” Jeanne replied. “‘I’m in Love with My Car,’... that sounds… interesting.”

“Put the needle on, I want to see what the hell that even means,” you laughed as she put it on, with a confused look on her face. That laugh continued throughout the song and was joined by Jeanne’s as well. But, much like ‘Bohemian Rhapsody,’ the car song got multiple plays, and by the beginning of the third time, you were both jamming out to it.

“As funny as the lyrics are, it’s actually a good song. I really like this guy’s voice,” Jeanne said as she nodded her head and hummed along with the music.

“Yeah, it’s really different to whomever sings ‘Bohemian Rhapsody,’” you agreed.

“Mercury.”

“Huh?”

“Freddie Mercury. That’s his name, the one that sings ‘Bohemian Rhapsody.’ He’s the lead singer of Queen. And, let’s see...” she said as she grabbed the record’s sleeve. “This says that the car song is sung by a Mr. Roger Taylor.”

“Hmmm, interesting.”

“Uh-huh. You’ll forget their names as soon as this song ends,” Jeanne said, rolling her eyes. She didn’t really care that you didn’t know their names, but that wouldn’t stop her from mocking you.

For months after that, the two of you would have at least a weekly listening of the two singles, and would cheer and sing along anytime they came on in your car. Though it wasn’t until three and a half weeks after you had sent John the letter that you got anything new to freak out about.

_____

“Why hasn’t she replied yet? It’s been ages.”

“It’s been a week and a half, Roger,” Brian replied without looking up, sitting in the armchair of his living room, reading a book.

“Well it feels like ages,” Roger mumbled back from his spot laying on the couch.

“In any case, you need to be quiet about it when Deaky gets here, he’s goin’ out of his head enough without you complaining too,” Brian warned Roger with a stern look.

“I know, I know. I’m just really curious about this whole ‘thing’ Deaks has with y/n. I don’t quite understand it,” Roger relented.

“What? You don’t understand how someone could have any sort of a relationship with a girl without sex?” Brian scoffed at Roger.

“No! Well, sort of. Okay, listen, I’m not a complete arse. I know men and women can be just friends. I just don’t know why he would choose to be. Especially with someone 8000 km away,” Roger said, bewildered.

“Darling, you don’t choose who you love. You just do,” Freddie interjected, walking into the living room from the kitchen with a bag of crisps. Brian started to correct him but Fred stopped him before he could, “I know, I know, no ‘love’ talk around our dear Deaky. But you know it’s obvious he is in love by that look he gets in his eyes everytime he thinks of her,” he emphasized the end of his sentence with the raising of an eyebrow and the crunch of a crisp.

The next moment, Deaky walked in the front door, finding his three bandmates lounging in his shared living room. They were all oddly silent, which was too suspicious for his liking.

“Were you guys just talking about me?”

“No, I have no idea what you mean. But, now that you are here, I’d love to catch up. Take a seat, love, have a crisp,” Freddie tried to brush off his accusations.

“Okay,” John said, taking the bait. “Well I just got back from the studio. No mail. I’m pretty sure that’s only the fourth time I’ve checked since Monday, so that’s good.”

“It’s Tuesday,” Roger said incredulously.

“Pretty sure?” Brian asked at the same time. They exchanged looks and shared a quick exhale of breath.

“That’s perfectly fine, Deaky. Progress, really. Just try not to worry, y/n’s letter will be here before you know it,” Freddie reassured, wrapping his arm around his shoulder.

“Thanks, Fred. I just can’t wait to get to know her again.”

_____

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Jeanne. Happy birthday to you!” Your mom and you sang to her, belting out the notes together and trying (but failing) to add some harmony at the end. Jeanne blew out the candles and quickly closed her eyes, making her wish.

“This cake looks wonderful!” she beamed at you both.

“It’s your favorite, chocolate cake with chocolate filling, chocolate frosting, and chocolate flakes!” you smiled back at her, laughing.

“Thank you both, so much. It means a lot to me that you’re both here since my parents couldn’t fly out from Montreal.”

“Of course, sweetie. You know we love you like family,” your mom said, giving her shoulders a squeeze.

While they were picking out the candles and chatting, you ran to your room and grabbed her present, wrapped up in a colorful scarf you knew she would also love.

“Alright, here’s your present, Jeanne!” you held out her present, tilting it back and forth in your hands to entice her.

“Ooo, I’m so excited!” she said, grabbing it from you. “I love this wrapping. Is it a scarf?” she said with a little gasp. After struggling for a second with the fancy knot you had tied, she pulled off the scarf with a flourish and her jaw dropped. “You didn’t!”

“I did.”

“Oh. My. Fuck!” she exclaimed, eyes still glued to object before her. It was Queen’s entire new album, A Night at the Opera, to which the beloved songs “Bohemian Rhapsody” and “I’m in Love with My Car” belonged.

“Safe to say you like it?” you asked as you laughed at her reaction to the gift and your mom’s reaction to her choice of words.

“Like it? I love it. I love you! You have my eternal gratitude and I’m playing this right now,” she responded as she hopped up and ran over to the record player.

“What is it, honey?” your mom asked, still confused at her strong reaction.

“It’s a record from a band we both really like-”

“-Love-” interjected Jeanne.

“love. They’re called Queen.” you informed your mom, knowing she preferred disco to rock and her favorite was the new song, “Fernando,” by ABBA. You couldn’t fault her for her tastes though, as you also loved disco and ABBA.

“Oh, I see. They’re the British ones with the long hair and funny clothes,” she replied.

“Um, yeah, that’s right.” She wasn’t wrong, as that description matched most rock and roll bands you could think of. You heard the telltale sound of the needle touching down on the vinyl and stopped talking. Your mom got the memo and also stayed silent as you three moved into the living room with the cake platter and three forks. Luckily, your mom could appreciate great music when she heard it and understood Jeanne’s and your commitment to listening with full attention and was content to sit silently and eat cake throughout the entire 43:08 of the album.

After the last notes of “God Save the Queen,” played out and the arm of the needle clicked, coming to a stop, the three of you let out a long breath.

“That was incredible,” your mom was the first to form words and Jeanne and you just nodded.

Before anything else, Jeanne flipped the record back to the side one and started it again, at a lower volume. Finally, she reacted, “I think this is the best present I’ve ever gotten for my birthday.”

“Hell, I think it’s the best present I’ve ever gotten on your birthday,” you replied, earning laughs from both women. You continued, “Let’s look at the album art.”

“Good idea,” Jeanne and your mom said simultaneously as Jeanne reached for the album cover. She placed it in front of the three of you facing up, and you all leaned in for a closer look.

“Are those… fairies?” your mom questioned.

“Yeah, and two lions and a swan and a crab,” you confirmed, a puzzled look on your face.

“Well, whatever they are, they’re far out,” Jeanne designated, getting nods of agreement. After another second of staring, she grabbed it back up and felt inside, pulling out the record sleeve she had carefully placed inside after removing the record. She set this thin piece of paper down on top of the cover for the three of you to look at. It consisted of one large picture of the band posing on the front side and multiple smaller pictures of them performing on the back. You all had (well, at least Jeanne and you) seen pictures of Queen before. But something about their unique image and to be honest, stunningly good looks captured your eye. Staring at the pictures you didn’t notice Jeanne squinting her eyes trying to remember something. She reached for the album cover, letting the record sleeve slide off it onto the floor, but your eyes didn’t move except to flick between the different pictures of the performances, paying special mind to the boy holding the bass guitar.

“Here they are!” Jeanne exclaimed and flipped over the record sleeve, receiving a small glare from you that she didn’t notice, “I remembered Freddie Mercury’s name of course, and Mr. Taylor, but the last names of the other two escaped me.” She pointed at each one as she went on, to clarify for you and your mom, “This is Freddie Mercury, he’s the lead singer. This one’s Brian May, the guitarist. This guy is John Deacon, the bassist. And last but not least, this hottie is Roger Taylor, the drummer,” she said with a smile and look of appreciation. You had to admit that Roger was quite handsome, beautiful really, as were Brian and Freddie, but there was something about that bassist, something that caught your attention and wouldn’t let it go. Just like my John had, you supposed, your mind racing back from one John to the other, to the boy you hadn’t heard back from yet.

_____

That was remedied the next day, when Jeanne came traipsing in the front door, swaying, and saying in a sing-song voice, “y/n! Look what I found, a nameless letter made out to you!”

You walked out of your room to hear her better and gasped when you saw what she had. The two of you opened the letter right there in the entrance way and quickly read it over.

“Ooo, this John of yours seems like a real gentleman. I didn’t know it was actually possible to have such proper grammar,” Jeanne said in an austere voice.

“He’s not my John,” you replied, rolling your eyes, despite what you had thought to yourself last night. “Must be an English thing.”

“Do you think calling you ‘love’ and signing it ‘ever yours’ is an English thing too?” Jeanne retorted, raising her eyebrows and smirking.

“Actually, yeah, I’m sure it is. Anyway, onto a more important topic, what do I say back?”

“Go grab a couple pieces of paper and we’ll get started,” Jeanne said, grabbing the letter and moving to sit at the table in your kitchen. You rushed into your room and got the paper as well as three pens and four pencils.

“You’re really prepared,” Jeanne noticed, seeing all that was in your arms. You smiled sheepishly and sat down in the seat next to her.

“How should I start it?”

“Probably with his name, and then go from there,” she answered, teasing you for your own good. After writing your nickname for him when you were younger, like he did, you answered his questions and then finally asked him some of your own. Finally, you proposed meeting. That was the most difficult part.

Dear Johnny,

To answer your question, I’m doing good. I graduated from UW with a degree in Communication, and I’m currently enrolled in their graduate studies program for the same. I hope to be a professor someday, so yes, I still love teaching. That is actually why I will be going to Europe. I’m spending the summer teaching English in Tournai, Belgium, if you’ve ever been there.

What about you? Did you enjoy Chelsea College and engineering? Are you an engineer now? Speaking of being amazed, the way you understood all of that technical stuff is pretty incredible too. What led you to spend so much time in the rest of Europe? Is it work?

I was thinking, that since I’ll be pretty close to London while I’m in Tournai, we could meet in person. As kids, that never seemed possible with me in Belleview, but it would be much easier now. Let me know what you think.

Very Truly Yours,

y/n

🍀🍀🍀

taglist: @eylulclsr @roger1na @deakyfordays @painkiller80 @sunflower-borhap-boys @awkwardangelshezza @obsessedwithrogertaylor @bensrhapsody @tardisgrump @ahsoknarwhal @fatheadtheroger @happy-at-home @achallsplants @red-firelight @marvellouspengwing @randompotato1234 @windmeupandletmeplay @ixchel-9275 If you’d like to be on the taglist, just send me a message or ask!

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theforeshadowings · 6 years ago

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THE RETURN OF THE TRANSMISSIONS PROJECT

I can’t begin to tell you how happy and excited I am about this long-awaited turn of events.

Two years ago, as many of you probably know, I started this massive multi-editor project called The Transmissions Project – also known as TTP. An entire album spanning the course of one hour, edited by all of us. This project aimed to bring together editors to work on something never seen before in the community. And, for the most part, the whole thing was a great success!

During post-production, however, everything went horribly wrong.

Both my laptop and the external hard drive that held this project in its entirety corrupted, and I lost EVERYTHING (and not just TTP, but 6 years-worth of my own personal work). I had never been more devastated. I believed we could recover it if we worked together, but it didn’t come to pass. I left the community for a while to gather my thoughts and redirect my creative outlets – I needed time to grieve for TTP (I’m laughing right now; it doesn’t feel so dramatic anymore) as well as focus on real life stuff.

But I never threw that hard drive away. I believed I could fix it – I believed I could do SOMETHING. For the past few years, on and off, I tinkered with that hard drive. I came close a couple of times to restoring all the files, but many of them were still irreparable. In the meantime, I had to announce the official cancellation of the project, which broke my heart even more. If you’re wondering why this was so devastating for me, it’s because this was an idea I’d had for a LONG time. It had always been one of my main goals and I had almost achieved it – and failed. And I felt like I had failed all the editors who stuck by me through the project and put in so much time and hard work.

People were asking me about TTP – what happened to it? Can we fix it? Do you need any help? Will we ever see the finished video? And I had to keep turning you all away, even though I appreciated all of the concern and support that I received in regards to this project. I’ll be forever grateful for that!

And then, for the first time in a long while, someone mentioned TTP. And my brain went into overdrive. I decided to give it one more try, and if it didn’t work then I was willing to give up on it for good. It took over 24 hours, two recovery data programs, and a lot of perseverance. Finally, The Transmissions Project had been completely recovered, and after a month of pulling it together it’s here for all of you to see.

I could not be more happy and excited that this project finally sees the light of day, and that everyone’s hard work has ultimately paid off. This video was made by the editors for the editors, and one of my goals throughout this was to bring editors of all different skill sets to the forefront and work together as one. I feel like this is an achievement to be truly proud of.

That being said, I’d like to make a few disclaimers:

During the project’s recovery, a total of 8 parts were lost. If you recognise any of these parts as ones you originally edited, then I offer my apologies. Not only did I lose the complete list of participants, and therefore could not find the original editor, but it was easier to replace the parts myself. This does not discredit your participation.

If you recognise any of your parts to be of lower quality than when you made them, then I apologise again. During the recovery process, and putting it all together, some files suffered and I couldn’t find a way to fix them.

Some audio throughout the video is not as smooth as I originally intended. Again, this is a result of recovering the files, and I had to work with what I had as best as I could. I made a conscious decision to take out some parts between songs that didn’t work anymore, or that I had lost the original audio files for. To save time, I did not feel the need to start the audio files from scratch, and I personally think it turned out pretty well.

Last but not least, if you took part in this project and want to be credited, please tell me in the comments so that I can add you to the list and pin it at the top of the comments section. I lost the participant list and a lot of names have changed since then, so I would like to make sure that everyone is credited for what they have done in this project.

I would like to give a big thank you to my partners in crime – Zombie and Thea – for all of the help and support they have given me since I recovered this project. Not only did you guys help me to replace missing parts, but you shared excitement and enthusiasm with me in getting this project back on track, and pointed me in the right direction for everything I could need to make putting this thing together as easy as possible. I don’t know what I would do without you both!

Well, guys, it’s been a long and tasking journey. Getting to this point has been super emotional and frustrating for me, and once I’d finished watching the whole thing through I actually teared up. I’m so glad I didn’t give up – it took a long time, but here we are, and here it is. The Transmissions Project in its entirety. Thank you, and enjoy.

(Post-upload note: Unfortunately, the hour long version would not work on youtube, so it has been cut into 3 parts. It’s not how I wanted it go, but at this point I’ll take it.)

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vroenis · 4 years ago

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Turn Up And Play One Game

This is going to require setting a bunch of preconditions so you’re going to have to be quite patient with me. As you read this piece, I want you to try and remember these things. Remembering them may not be a problem for you, perhaps it’s a problem for me as I write and maybe that can be your framing as an introduction. If I was able to post this in a spreadsheet and freeze these points so they were stickied at the top, I would, and it’d be a very me thing to do, but that probably wouldn’t otherwise be conducive to reading linear text intended for an audience and reduce what little readership this is already likely to get to zero so let’s not, and by let’s I mean me.

The things I want you to try and keep in mind are;

I am ASD and for the most part present competently in social situations (carefully worded for reasons to be explained - stay with me).

I am bipolar 2 and present very competently in social situations (the delineation between the two behaviours is important).

I am genderqueer and femme-presenting male.

I took roughly 2 and a half years off from teaching and playing board games, running groups and events etc. due to burnout.

Unfortunately we’re not done yet - I know, but I think it’s all important but I’m not sure, I hope it is.

The reason I worded the qualifier for how my ASD behaviour presents the way I did is that I don’t want to use the reductive term “high functioning”. I haven’t done any reading on it yet, but I feel it really *is* reductive and tempts both the writer and reader to be prescriptive instead of descriptive. I’ve now used more words (and more here, now) but I think they’re needed. Function with Autism is a tricky thing. In a lot of contemporary writing, both by those with Autism and by those researching it, there’s commentary on outsiders making remarks of “oh but you don’t look or seem Autistic” or “you were less Autistic today” and this is some very unhelpful framing and perception of Autism from our experience of living with it. So what I mean by what I wrote is,

it may not be apparent by my behaviour that I’m Autistic, and for the most part, I have learnt the social mores of interacting with others in order for socialising to be more or less frictionless.

It’s something I suspect many ASD folks at various capacities develop over time. It also means that often we spend a lot of extra energy on the labour of socialising. That’s no-one’s fault (for the most part - I’ll get to that hopefully, if I remember), it’s just a fact of our lives. I do use the term Our very carefully, and I apologise for speaking for other ASD people. I should speak only for my own experience. The labour of interaction doesn’t always come a great cost to me, but sometimes it does.

I’ve had my bipolar 2 diagnosis for longer so I’ve been educating myself about it for longer. While I currently have no pharmaceutical treatment for Autism, I’ve been on and off and currently on meds for bipolar for much longer, so I have much more experience managing it. In the past it has been impossible for me to understand anything about my own behaviour but slowly over time I’m beginning to develop skills in identifying components of each condition, what I can do about them and the many... many things I can do to navigate life.

That is a lot of management, as I have no doubt many of you will understand all too well. We do this on top of the rigours of life, in addition to the same concerns everyone carries.

This is why nothing, nothing ever... is easily dismissible as just an “oh well...” “just a bad experience...” “you’ll just have to...” “next time just...” “don’t worry about it, next time...”

I feel like the “just...” isn’t so easy for us, or to be specific, for me.

By the way we’re still in the preamble. Hopefully by the end of this I’ll be able to focus on outcomes but I don’t know how emotional I’m going to get when I plunge into it. I realise what I’m probably doing is priming myself for the text to come and were I to actually edit this, a lot would be cut but I don’t have that luxury and I want all of this to stay in. It’s important to me and hopefully the context will become clear. My last primer is to set out to write about 3 distinct interactions;

The first and bulk of the text - not all bad but prolonged and thus harrowing

The second - unclear but ultimately terrible

The third - joyful

A Pub/Bar Is Not An Appropriate Place To Learn And Then Teach A Board Game

I’m going to begin with some paraphrased commentary I’ve thrown around several times before;

In board games culture, the social norm of over-reliance on Ambassadors is unacceptable.

Now that statement actually applies to a whole myriad of contexts including commercially, but I’ll apply it to how it’s relevant to the account I’m going to describe. I’m writing this journal entry because of a series of interactions that transpired after attending a regular board game night in the city where I live. Twice in a row now, people have seen that I’ve brought games with me and made statements more or less like;

“You look like you’re an expert, can you teach this game?”

And I know what you’re thinking, why didn’t I just say “No” etc. but with some social mores and I’ll get to that.

Here’s the thing;

Yes I brought games... do you think perhaps those are the games I might like to teach?

Thanks for the flattering compliment (I did thank them both times)... but you want me to learn a board game in a loud pub/bar and then teach it in said loud pub/bar with all that teaching entails i.e., shepherding the experience? Because I get that maybe to you, teaching doesn’t mean good Ambassadorship but to me it does and yep, I realise you might not know that (again... we’ll get to that because guess what...)

I’m Autistic, which you don’t know, and that’s important because...

I very gently tried to deploy all the delicate social niceties one does to disarm a potentially hazardous situation for me, rather than panic, because panicking is how things turn Very Bad. Honestly, sometimes it’s not even about things turning Very Bad for you which for the most part is you feel awkward - I mean sure, sucks for you, but for me, the energy cost goes through the roof and will continue to keep hitting for days. Turns out it still does anyway.

I tried to suggest that reading and understanding rules in a loud pub might not be ideal, but the other person was a bit happy-go-lucky and as it happens, I turned up late after work which unfortunately I’m always going to do - so most people had already started games and this person picked up a 2 player game from the common event library. I’m sorry if details are getting scattered, I’m doing my best.

So I attempt to read through the rules and teach it and at a few key points, they ask for clarification which is very natural, so I clarify as best I can and they simply don’t listen and give their own interpretation which in the way they gave it, I also totally understand. I’ll be clear at this point and say in no way was this person rude - their manner was really cordial, polite, and this person was actually wonderful. I’ve no way of knowing their gender identity or sexuality because it never came up and nor did pronouns, but they presented cis and never once showed any sign of having a problem with how I was presenting, so that was really really nice.

But they still didn’t listen to me when I clarified rules and so I just went with it - I dead-set offered minimal resistance because in a social setting, in a loud pub, when I’ve been set-upon to teach a game I don’t know and now there’s an expectation to deploy this experience, I just have to get this thing going and get through it. Already as we play I realise we’re playing it incorrectly and I have to make like it doesn’t matter because it doesn’t - even now I’ll be honest, it happens all the time - so again, let me be clear;

Playing the game incorrectly didn’t and doesn’t matter - not being heard is what matters. And it isn’t important because I’m Autistic, it’s important regardless.

So not only do I think having to learn and then teach a game in a loud pub or bar (or convention, to be honest) is a bad idea, I think specifically a 2 player game is also a bad idea because were a similar situation to occur with more people at the table, there’s more opportunity for consultation and consensus where hopefully other experienced and hobby literate people can review, discuss and contribute.

That whole experience was horrifying for me. It cost me so much energy and it still is... but it wasn’t that other person’s fault.

They didn’t know that I’m Autistic and bipolar and still don’t. I still don’t know how to tell people in a way I’m comfortable with that’s conducive to good socialising and group behaviour going forward thru each interaction. It’s difficult for me because there are so many things I believe should be good behaviours on principle but I realise the whole reason I may believe those things may be entirely due to Autism or bipolar or both, such as...

A Pub Is Not An Appropriate Place To Learn And Then Teach A Board Game

because if it doesn’t come out quite right for you, you can just waive it off, but for me, it ends up being a days-long nightmare of energy-drain and behavioural analysis. I can’t tell you anything about the game we played at all. I don’t understand anything about it because I barely processed the experience. Every unit of energy I had was spent on maintaining my social behaviours, my mechanical actions and verbal skills. I had a few impressions of the game’s mechanisms and was for a fraction of a second tempted to drop some comments on BGG but they would have been so ill-informed and incorrect, I remembered by self-observational skills and realised I shouldn’t do it.

I played one game that night and didn’t know whether I had any energy left for any other activities.

The Second Interaction

While we were packing up, some guy wandered up to our table - this usually happens when you see a game wrapping up so you can be included in a new game which is totally fine. I don’t know what his motivations were, but he literally spoke one or two words like “what’s happening?” and either myself or the other person said that we had just finished and I don’t know if he took one look at my queer-ass self or not but he was gone without another word.

I really don’t know what that was all about. I really hate to talk like the only gay in the village with my hair clipped in and my women’s clothes but sometimes folks sure do treat me like it. Didn’t say “oh hey my game is ready, nice to meet you” or like he knew the other person I’d just wrapped the game up with, mans just took flight and was gone, so now I am already in Autistic cyclic coping mode and now I feel queer rejection too whether it’s real or imagined so I am noping the fuck out and going home.

The Third Interaction Which Actually Happened Second

As I write about what for me were some fairly harrowing experiences, I don’t want to cast a fully negative tone over the event as a whole. Each time I’ve attended this regular event, including this evening specifically, the hosts have visited the table I’ve been at and greeted us. They’ve shown absolutely no reaction to how I’ve visually presented and been warm and welcoming, discussed whatever game we’ve been playing and been full of positivity which I think is wonderful. I don’t want anyone to think that anything that’s transpired between me and anyone else is the result of some kind of endemic cultural problem specific to one cultural space...

I think it’s something endemic of board games culture in general, or even people in general.

It’s going to be easy to read this and say that I have to telegraph to people what my needs are. Also there’ll likely be people with ASD and/or people with mental health concerns who will advocate for changes of behaviour in others as I’m about to start outlining as you probably easily guess and I did promise to make an attempt at outcomes. I agree with everyone to a certain extent except that society doesn’t make it easy for people with mental health challenges to discuss our needs openly. Yes, not at all made any easier by those seeking to alleviate themselves of accountability but let’s take it on good faith that no-one wants to do that.

Outcomes

The whole reason I burnt-out from board games culture and took a break for so long was the overwhelming expectation from people to constantly teach games and keep providing good experiences over and over again, to the point of there being no appreciation for it. When anyone teaches me literally anything - even in my work place - I thank them for it - no matter how small it is. Teaching games isn’t easy, even simple games. Taking the time to read rules, cover ambiguities, ensure you can answer questions, and then shepherd the session for the duration of the game, is a skill - and that’s taking into account how well the rulebook is written. Expecting that to be done in a short amount of time in a loud environment?? For some of us, when we prep games for a game night, or bring a small selection of games to an event, we review the rules to ensure we can run them smoothly, even if we’ve run them a hundred times before...

We do this not to ensure the game functions for the sake of the game, we do it so that the game functions for the sake of the people.

I guess you could argue, then, that learning a game on the night and getting it wrong shouldn’t matter because as long as the people enjoy it, it’s fine... but that’s just it - learning it on the night isn’t enjoyable. Even between the other person and I, it was time-consuming and half-way thru the game, they also picked up at least one of our magical rules errors which we did just play thru and also was fine, but these social frictions between people are going to be far more likely, and far more stressful. The end of the game just happened to coincide with the time I take my fistful of meds so maybe they did just happen to pick up on that but oh well too late by then, I didn’t get to mention what flavours I have in my brain so that might have to be for another night.

I feel as tho loading up that expectation on other people to perform labour without knowing where they’re at and expecting the right of refusal to be amicable is a weird and unfair position to put on people. I put myself in a position where I’m happy to teach the games I brought. I understand what it means to learn and teach a game under the most ideal circumstances... for a person who doesn’t have mental health concerns... so I wouldn’t ask anyone else under any circumstances, ideal or otherwise, to teach a game they didn’t know.

People don’t know I’m ASD and bipolar. I don’t know what they are, either, but I’m in the unique position of having mental health concerns so I’m constantly considering where others are at and what they might need.

I think that’s what I’m asking for. I’m not at all angry at or feeling hurt by my board game play-companion that evening, they were lovely and I’d happily play a game with them again, but I don’t know how I’d go about explaining this situation to them because educating others in detail in a short amount of time is extremely difficult, then and there when you’re in the situation. I realise people who don’t have these or similar concerns tend to “brush off” similar situations but I don’t brush off anything. Nothing ever gets brushed off. Everything costs something and that cost is monumental. It costs energy and it costs days.

I don’t think I need people to go and read pages and pages about Autism and bipolar disorder, I think I just need people to listen a bit more. I need people to be appreciative of the labour of others, specifically of when they put effort into instructive and demonstrative action i.e. teaching board games., and understand this specific example in this context; a game that no-one knows, especially with strangers. If you want to pony-up for a new board game, don’t put it on someone else. You want to make that call, it’s your call, you do it.

#2021 #chrono #mental health #bipolar #ASD #Autism #board games #boardgames #ambassadorship #board game culture

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fujubun · 7 years ago

Note

do you agree with the fandom interpretation of your character?

Mun Interpretations ⦙ ⦙ open

[DABS] N O NOT AT ALL

In case its not known, you’re completely free to reblog any meta I write (aka this) if you like it. I enjoy sharing my loud words with others, so there’s no need to ask if you can reblog!

[BIG EDIT]: I get over hyped when writing, solely focusing, and putting actual thought into one thing for too long, so the original draft of this was far more aggressive and salty than I meant for it to be. (Even if some things do make me salty, it’d no reason for me to be a jerk.) I’d like to personally apologise if I upset anyone, as I assure you I didn’t mean to do so! (I didn’t neccessarily see anyone upset but still.) There’s an edit to this because I’m adjusting the tone and how I phrased things!

I’d also like to say that everything I’m stating is based on the fandom itself, not this lovely roleplay community! Nothing I state here is a personal attack on anyone; its all simply my personal opinions! I’m more than happy to discuss anything in a calm and respectful manner, but any form of actual arguing is a no go, alright? I’m not here to argue, after all, simply to share my opinions.

The MOM Trope:

Ignis is a very caring, very loving guy, and he’s not afraid to show it. He takes care of his friends, both in and out of battle. He cooks, he cleans, he heals, and on occasion he probably dotes on them too. There’s nothing wrong with this at all, its okay for him to do things like this; to be open about his feelings and to actively show how much he cares for those that matter to him. However, I desperately hate when people shove the mom trope on him. Not only is it incredibly degrading to women (specifically mothers who are always seen as able to do everything), it’s also harmful to Ignis because it feminizes him. Guys can be loving a supportive too, its not just a female trait! Guys don’t always have to be overly pulsing with constant testosterone to be proven that they’re male (you know the stereotype I’m talking about), they can be soft too!

Another thing that makes the mom trope bad, is that from what I’ve personally seen, quite a bit (maybe even most?) people headcanon as Ignis as gay, which I love! I also personally headcanon that! (And if you don’t, that’s okay too!) But when you pair someone who is gay (or someone who you see as gay) with the mom trope (especially males) its extremely harmful. Gay males are heavily feminized (and fetishized) and are often seen as the mom type, its honestly kind of really homophobic! Its not cool to label someone whose gay as the mom friend (unless they give you permission, that is). And you may be thinking “yeah but Ignis is a fictional character!”, and you’re absolutely right! He is, but the thing is, representation matters! If its widely accepted that Ignis is possibly gay, then it’ll probably give a lot of hope to younger fans (and honestly even older fans too!), but when you attach that trope it kind of makes you go “o h… so this is the bad representation then?”

Ignis being soft and caring for those he cares about doesn’t make him a mom friend, it makes him a good character! Its what makes him human! And then, now this is just an extreme personal pet peeve of mine but: please don’t headcanon Iggy as gay because he’s so openly caring about his friends. That goes hand in hand with what I said earlier about gay males being feminized! Its super rude! Regardless of what you think on his orientation or sexuality, please just let him be a sweet soft boy without giving him a harmful label!

The SKILL Portion:

As I touched on above, something else that the mom trope does, is it expects Ignis to be able to do everything perfectly immediately (which is more often than not, expected of moms) and that’s just not humanly possible. Ignis is only twenty-two years old, he’s within the same age range as the other boys (and he’s only two years older than I am, and look how I act!), he’s a big dingus! He’s still young, too young, to know how to do everything perfectly. Even in the future when he’s thirty-two, that’s still fairly young; sure he’d be much more wiser than at twenty-two, but still!

Ignis has worked hard at every skill that he knows, whether its fighting, cooking, sewing; anything! He works hard to achieve his success, but I’ve seen so many people erase that fact and play it as if he’s naturally talented and that hurts. Natural talent doesn’t exist, no matter who you are, even for someone as seemingly perfect as Ignis. Everything he knows and does is through dedication and hard work!

Something else too, is that people so often portray him as absolutely perfect, and that really makes him… inhuman. Ignis is a doofus, just like us! He’s human, and he has his faults; he cries and breaks down and gets frustrated when things don’t go as planned. He burns new food, stabs his fingers when he’s sewing, gives horrible advice, all of it. He’s not perfect, and he’ll never be perfect, and that’s perfectly okay! Its okay for him to be bad at things, for him to have faults, and for him to faulter under pressure; its okay for him to crack and for him to be a mess, its what makes him a believable and human character.

Often times when I read how perfect and good at everything he is, it ages him greatly in my mind. Instead of him being close to my age, he’s suddenly far, far older, and that’s not a good thing. He has to much experience, he’s too good at what he’s doing, he’s too smooth with his words, he’s too old sounding. I understand he’s a very prim and proper person, and its hard to keep him in character while keeping him acting his age, trust me its a very fine line, but it is possible to accomplish.

The COOKING Jokes:

Another personal pet peeve would be: the mass amounts of cooking jokes that everyone (a collective everyone, nobody specific of course!) makes. In the Anime and Game it can be up for grabs on whether on not he actually enjoys cooking (I’ve heard it both ways, and both are good! Personally I headcanon that he likes to cook and bake, and even does so as a destresser!) but what annoys me is that everyone takes it way too far! (This doesn’t include the AUs! Only the canon content or super similar to canon content! It also doesn’t pertain to his “That’s it! I’ve come up with a new recipe!” line/habit!) But there have been so many times where I’ve seen people take as if cooking is the only thing for Ignis, that he has no other hobbies or likes, that its all just narrowed down specifically to cooking and its super sad to me to see. It strips him of so many possibilities!! There’s more to him than just cookin’ and bakin’, y’know?

THE EPISODE IGNIS PORTION:

Episode Ignis has caused a lot of drama and a lot of arguments, so I’d like to take a moment to reiterrate what I stated up top: I’m not here to start drama, or cause arguements. I’m not here to personally attack anyone, I’m simply throwing my opinions out for others to eithe rlike or dislike. If you dislike? That’s okay! Opinions usually differ, but please don’t come to me to start an argument, or vague about me or something. I’ll probably just ignore you, or block you if you’re personally harrassing me.

Something that was super recently brought to my attention for Episode Ignis was the shipping matters. And while this doesn’t neccessarily pertain to Ignis’ character interpretations, I’d still like to take a moment to address it because Episode Ignis means a lot to me:

Please stop with the shipping wars and the petty (and sort of guilt tripping) comments to one another. Episode Ignis didn’t destroy or hurt any ships availible for Ignis (the one brought to my attention specifically was Gladnis). Each of them got their own bits in the episode and none of them were harmful at all (I’m not counting Ardyn in this statement because he’s the main villain and he’s supposed to be horrible).

No ships were destroyed, and even some were revived! It even brought along new ships too! So please, no more wars, yeah? They’re kinda………. really dumb.

The next thing I want to talk about is the uproar of “I don’t like this DLC because Ignis feels really out of character.” I’d like to start off by saying: Nobody knows Ignis and his character better than the people who created him. Fans have a very bad habit (and this goes for every fandom, not just FFXV) of thinking they know better and know whats best for the show or the character. Sure, in some cases, the writing could be very horrible (personally, I would throw shade on the anime RWBY, but I’m not here to rant about that.), but the writing in the game and the new DLC isn’t bad. Sure some parts can be pretty…. eh, I suppose (I honestly enjoyed all of it!) but none of it was actually bad.

As I stated at the beginning, Ignis is a very loving and caring guy. He’ll do anything for those he loves, and that includes Noctis, Gladio and Prompto. Yes, I did just say loves, because regardless of what you see his sexuality or orientation as, he does in fact love them. Its up in the air for canon as to if its romantic love, or brotherly/familial/platonic love, but it is there! There are several types of love, and people often forget that, which is why I think a bunch of people think his actions were out of character.

In the original ending, he did what was best for the people of Insomnia; for the people of the world. He was selfless, he kept the information he learned to himself so that it didn’t burden the others, and he let Noctis kill himself so that the dawn could return. In the new ending, for once in his life he was selfish. He wanted to keep his friend there with him; his brother. He didn’t want to lose Noctis because of some (honestly kind of bullshit) fate, because he loved him (and again, that love can be romantic/familial/brotherly/platonic) and didn’t want to give him up. He was selfish and did what was best for Noctis (and by extention, himself and Gladio and Prompto) instead of what was best for everyone else in the world.

Whether or not its exactly healthy to do something like that is up for debate (could be co-dependency or something far worse for example) but that’s what he chose. Ignis sacrificed his everything, his entire life, to save Noct’s because he cares so much about him. Even if it meant his own life, and that he would never see Noctis again, he was willing to do it so that Noctis could actually live and rule. (Honestly I’d do the same thing for my friends, so I can’t say too much really). ignis would probably offer that same sacrifice if it was Prompto or Gladio’s life on the line too.

He loves and cares about them so much and he just wants them to be happy (I mean look at all the things he’s done for everyone specifically so they were happy!), he’ll do anything for them. They mean the world to him, so if they were in danger? Of course he would do everything in his power to save them. He’s such a selfless person, and even in his own, finally selfish act, he was still… pretty damn selfess. He just wanted Noctis to actually be able to live his life, and I personally can’t blame him for that.

Small Sidenote Personal Pet Peeve: If you disliked the Episode Ignis DLC because of the possiblity of what he states to be out of romantic attraction to Noctis, then that’s fine; but you’re walking on a thin line with me personally. I’m not saying you have to ship them by any means at all!! What I’m saying is if it puts you off because of the possibility that it’s gay, then you might be sorta…………….. homophobic, and I’d rather not deal with that, ya feel?

The NSFW Portion:

People tend to go all or nothing with Ignis, and I don’t really understand why. Of course there will always be people like that, and that’s fine, but I’ve never seen such a clear cut on all or nothing before? From what I’ve personally seen, Ignis is either a sex god, or he’s had absolutely no experience what so ever. He’s either a complete sub, or a complete dom, there’s no inbetween, and its odd to me.

While I may personally present my Ignis as a tad shy when it comes to affection and touching because I heavily headcanon him as being extremely touch starved and awkward (so he never really knows what to do with himself) I really dislike this trend. Middle grounds exist, honestly I personally see him in that middle ground. Its perfectly okay if you don’t, I’m just upset with the fandom as whole clearly neglecting it is all!

His age is generally the sort of “experiemental” stage where you try new things! So honestly, he’s probably had at least some experience with general sex, and even kink stuff too! He’s probably tried some things, but I really doubt he’s perfect at any of it. He’s probably dommed, and he’s probably subbed and there’s nothing wrong with any of that. Let him be awkward and try new things; let him feel out what he likes and does like! Let him be silly, or unsure of what he’s doing! Again, its okay if he’s not perfect, he’s not supposed to be; nobodys perfect!

EXTRA:

I really really really fucking love Ignis and I hate it when I see him get treated so poorly. Please stop treating my good boy so badly. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#sagefire #⟣⇢ Out of Character Asks #I told you I had many words to say #[Edit]: Updated version! Much better than the original draft!#⟣⇢ The spicy boy ⇠⟢ ⟣⇢ Atty. ⇠⟢

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adventures-in-drabbling · 7 years ago

Text

Lacewoodshipping Week Day 7: Hello/Goodbye

I DID THE ENTIRE WEEK

the achievement is real omfg. I’ve never managed to keep to one of these before, baha.

This, as per the usual, became both wildly out of control, deviates totally from the prompt, the end is SUPER ABRUPT, and it was written between midnight-3:20am because what is a sleeping pattern.

If anyone wants to actually read something that does kind of stick to the prompt, I did actually do a series of alphabet oneshots, and G and H actually happened to be Goodbye, Hello, and bonus prequel Fight (to be read in the order Fight , Goodbye, Hello). I haven’t read any of these back because I’m far too tired to deal with my old (awful) writing skills, but if you fancy dealing with my old (awful) writing, go nuts!

I’d like to thank @monsycamour AGAIN for organising this lacewoodshipping week! It’s been amazing to throw myself back into writing for this ship, and in a week I hand in my final project thesis of my masters degree, and I’m free from uni! (at least until I get the PhD position I’m aiming for lmao lmao). Until I figure out what I’m doing with my life, I’m gonna have a load more free time (hopefully), and I 100% intend to finish rewriting my old fics! So, the Sinnoh series rewrite will be completed, Written Words is going to be re-edited, probably rewritten and completed, and I might even finish the alphabet drabbles (because I’m fairly certain I only made it up to like, H or I or something and I have like, half finished oneshots for the rest of the alphabet just hanging out in my hard drive). I also might expand on a couple of these shipping week oneshots!

HYPE.

Also, for fic clarification, I headcanon Serena as beginning her Pokémon journey around 19/20 (I know there was a little conflict with the ages of the player character ingame and such, but w/e, that was my age when I was playing so there we go lmao), with the main campaign lasting around a year or so, and her eventually becoming Champion around 20/21ish.

enjoy!!

---

The first time they meet, Serena is a strange mix of nervous and excited. It had taken some time, but she had finally made it to Lumiose City – and it was amazing. Even as she entered the city from Route 4, the atmosphere totally overwhelmed her – so many people moving confidently through the streets, the shops and cafes and attractions all begging for her attention. Still she resisted the urge, following Sina through the South Boulevard to the Sycamore Pokémon Lab.

“The professor can’t wait to meet you. You can find him on the third floor, so hop in the elevator!” the research aide grinned at Serena, clapping her hands together in excitement. Serena tried to smile back at her in return, though she’s fairly sure she only managed a slightly sickly looking grimace, before moving to the aforementioned elevator, eyeing the slightly rickety looking mechanics before gingerly stepping inside and pressing the button for the third floor.

She wiped her slightly sweaty hands on her skirt, straightening her clothes as the elevator rose to her destination. Heart jumping in her chest, Serena slid her way through the door before it had fully opened, gazing around the surprisingly bare room. Two desks sat before her, alongside a couple of bookcases overflowing into stacks of books on the ground, and what appeared to be a semi-temporary screen wall partitioning off a portion of the room into a more private area.

Before she could move more than a few steps, however, a figure in a lab coat rounded the partition wall – Professor Sycamore.

“So,” the professor grinned down at her, stopping a small distance ahead of where she stood and propping a hand on one hip. “We finally meet!”

Serena let out a faint laugh, tension ebbing out of her at the relaxed aura that surrounded the man. “It’s about time,” she agreed, remembering her manners and sticking a hand out in front of her. “Hello, Professor Sycamore. I’m Serena.”

“Oui, oui, fantastic!” He closed the space between them to grab her hand, shaking it up and down so enthusiastically, Serena was jostled by the force. “Come this way, won’t you?” He let go of her hand (turning away before he witnessed her shaking it in relief) and motioned toward the wall partition, leading the way around to where a slightly more grandiose desk (absolutely littered with papers) lay.

What followed definitely constituted as one of the more bizarre experiences of Serena’s lifetime. Being told she had a… what did he say? Je ne sais quois? Followed by a battle, being gifted a new Pokémon and some sort of strange stone, the rest of the ‘gang’ showing up, being asked to help with Mega Evolution… By the time Calem and the others had begun to head out, leaving Serena behind with the professor, Serena was more than a little overwhelmed.

“Everything alright, Serena?” the professor asked once he realised she had yet to leave. Serena nodded quickly, rearranging her bag on her shoulder and laughing a little.

“Yes, of course! Sorry professor,” she grinned, raising a hand in a small wave. “Goodbye!” He raised a hand in reply, but just nodded at the new pokeball in her hand.

“Take good care of Squirtle, OK?” A smile spread across his face. “Not that I have any doubt you will do a fine job,” he added. Serena nodded eagerly, before making her escape around the partition to chase after her friends, and maybe convince them to tour the city full of shops and cafes with her.

---

Since their first meeting, Serena and the professor had met a few more times throughout her journey – Courmarine City, Lysandre Café, their slightly heartwrenching conversation in Couriway Town after everything with Lysandre… Sycamore had been visibly shaken during that particular encounter. Even so, he departed with a cheery promise of a surprise (though Serena was convinced his cheer was mostly a façade ), and a hint of a treasure of his to be found in the town.

When she finally located the inscription at the train station, she squinted as she read it out. "To the person reading this,” she began, tracing her fingers over each word. “What are you like now? Did you become who you wanted to be? For starters, what was the person you wanted to become even like? I don't know, but it would be wonderful if you can boast that you're living each day to the fullest. To future Sycamore. From the Sycamore dreaming of the future.”

With a morose sigh, she let herself drop to slump on the bench next to the ‘treasure’, hand still pressed against the inscription as she thought of the conflicting emotions on Sycamore’s face during their last conversation. She was fairly certain the past Sycamore who carved a message into a train station bench certainly couldn’t have predicted the alarming events of the last few days.

“Am I becoming who I wanted to be?” Serena whispered to the ceiling, tipping her head back to stare up at the roof and pressing her fingertips against the words beside her.

She didn’t sleep well that night, plagued by dreams of what had happened within the Team Flare Secret HQ, ending with the image of a younger Sycamore – without the lab coat – staring back at her as the HQ crumbled around him.

---

Despite the questionable quality of Serena’s sleep now that images of the crumbling HQ plagued her at night, she somehow managed to beat Diantha, taking the mantle of Kalos Champion as her own. The parade at Lumiose was beyond unexpected – she might have bothered to actually wear something nice had she known she was going to be thrust into a spotlight the second she arrived in Lumiose as requested by the professor – but she enjoyed it nonetheless, allowing herself to relax at the afterparty at the lab with their closest friends and family.

As the night began to draw to a close, Serena held her drink close to her chest as she peered around the room for the one person she really wanted to talk to. The professor had presented her with the Honour of Kalos during the public ceremony, dark circles under his eyes that he had clearly at least tried to hide with some concealer. At Serena’s concerned look, he squeezed her hand lightly as he handed the award over with a quiet promise of “We’ll talk later.” However, though he had made another speech at the beginning of the party, Serena hadn’t seen him since.

Slipping away from the main body of the party, she summoned the elevator and stepped in – it still looked rickety, but she was more willing to trust it now she’d been in the lab as many times as she had. She didn’t even have to step out at the second floor, a quick glance around the room after the door opened told her that there was no one there.

Stepping out on the third floor, however, the temperature instantly dropped. Making her way around the partition to Sycamore’s desk, she found the doors behind it flung wide open onto the balcony beyond, the silhouette of Professor Sycamore leaning on the railing illuminated by the bright lights of the city. His lab coat lay abandoned on the desk, and he suddenly seemed smaller without it, less an imposing figure of authority and direction, and instead more… human.

“Professor?” Serena tentatively broke the silence, skirting around the desk and stepping onto the balcony into the brisk air of Lumiose City.

As if broken from a trance, Sycamore jumped at her voice, spinning around to face her.

“Ah, Serena, désolé,” he apologised, the bubbling liquid in the champagne flute clutched in his hand sloshing wildly with his movement. “I just needed some air, I can come back-“

Serena cut him off with a wave of her hand, moving to his side and leaning on the railing to mirror his previous position.

“Don’t worry, Professor. I could use some air too, I just wondered where you were,” she reassured him, letting her own (empty) champagne flute dangle by the rim over the edge of the balcony.

Sycamore reassumed his position, twirling the stem of his glass in his hand with a sigh and let the silence stretch between them.

“Professor…” Serena broke after a few minutes, shifting her gaze to the man beside her as the quiet tension finally became too much. “Are you… alright?”

Sycamore shifted uncomfortably, refusing to turn his gaze to her as he hung his head. “I…” he began, but trailed off, the silence pressing down heavily on the pair.

“I still have nightmares,” Serena blurted, and that made him look up at her. “Lysandre is there. So is the legendary Pokémon, and then… then everything is crumbling, and I’m running but I can still hear him behind me.”

“Serena…”

“You’re there too, sometimes,” she added, and his eyes widened in surprise at that. “You as you are now, or sometimes you when you were my age – or at least,” she glanced to the side, an embarrassed flush rising to her cheeks as she thinks maybe she’s said too much. “How I imagine you probably looked, anyway.” She met his gaze once more. “But I have them. Every. Night.” She hesitated for a moment, then balanced her glass on the railing and moved her hand to lay it on his forearm. “We’re allowed to grieve,” she reminded him softly. “And we’re allowed to hurt.”

Sycamore breathed in deeply, breaking their gaze to tilt his head back and stare at the sky above them, his eyes shiny. “You are wise beyond your years, Serena,” he chuckled, though his voice was tight, threatening to catch in his throat. Another moment of silence before he continued. “I keep replaying our conversations in my head, Lysandre and I,” he admits, his voice soft and quiet, an uncharacteristic change from his usual confident and strong air. “Trying to see if I should have noticed earlier, if I could have saved him from… his own delusions, I suppose.”

Serena tightened her grip on his arm, fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt. “No,” she replied firmly. “There wasn’t anything- if someone had any idea- this isn’t on you, professor.”

“Augustine,” he replied quickly, moving his wet gaze back to her face. “Unless you want me to start calling you Champion, I believe we are past the point of formalities. Especially talking about this.” Serena searched his face for a moment before nodding slowly.

“Okay. Augustine.” The name felt thick and foreign on her tongue, but a thrill of excitement ran through her, her fingers twitching slightly in their grip on his arm. “We can’t keep wondering what might have happened had we acted differently,” she added, her voice hushed.

Augustine sighed again, pressing his hand over hers on his arm. “Oui,” he conceded. “I know. Yet I still can’t help it.”

Serena twisted her hand to press their palms together, twining their fingers. The slight intimacy of the gesture felt strange, but the comfort it offered won over her hesitation.

“We need to support each other,” Serena squeezed his hand. “You, me, the others who were there. We don’t have to suffer alone.” She watched curiously as Sycamore balanced his still full glass beside her empty one, before pulling her into a tight hug, hunching over slightly to rest his chin on her shoulder.

“Thank you,” his voice was close, right beside her ear and she couldn’t help a slight shiver at the proximity even as she wound her arms around his back. “You’re the first… to really say anything. Diantha tried, but it was… too soon.” Serena squeezed him.

“You looked like you needed to talk,” she replied softly.

They both fell quiet, drawing what comfort they could, but neither moved from their position. At least not until a wolf whistle pierced the air from the boulevard below, followed by a chorus of laughs and jeers. Serena whipped back, scowling down at the group of guys stumbling along below them – clearly on their way back from some bar - and jabbing her middle finger up at them. A few more laughs, but they continued on their way without consequence.

“I apologise about that,” Augustine said nervously, his glass back in his hand and a respectable distance put between them once Serena turned back to him.

“Don’t worry about it,” Serena waved it off, jamming her freezing hands into the pockets of her skirt as the chill in the air finally began to register. Augustine still looked slightly uncomfortable, his gaze following the group of lads up the street. “It’s fine, Augustine,” Serena reaffirmed, moving to bump his shoulder with her own. “Though I really should head back to my hotel. It is late, if the bars are turning out, and today has been… exhausting.”

“Of course,” Sycamore grabbed her glass from the railing and motioned inside, moving together to shut and lock the balcony doors behind them as they moved back into the building.

“Thank you for everything, Augustine,” Serena bowed slightly as they waited for the elevator to arrive to take her back downstairs.

“Ah, do not thank me,” Sycamore laid a hand on her shoulder. “I am truly so proud of you.” He chuckled as her cheeks became pink at his praise.

��It’s all because of you!” She argued as the elevator door slid open. She stepped inside, slipping from his grasp and turning to face him, raising a hand to wave farewell. “Goodbye, Augustine!”

“No,” he cut in quickly, half-entering the elevator to grab her hand mid-wave and squeeze it lightly. “Not goodbye. That always seems so… final. And I think we’ve had enough finalities for a while, at least.” Serena grinned, but nodded in agreement.

“You make a fair point,” she conceded. “Not goodbye, then. See you later?” Sycamore smiled and winked, bringing her hand up to press a light kiss to her knuckles.

“Tomorrow, perhaps?” he asked as he released her hand to step back, out of the small elevator. “Allow me to buy you dinner in thanks for… everything. And as a celebration of your achievements, Champion.”

Serena grinned, her cheeks reddening further. “That sounds wonderful,” she agreed. “I’ll message you in the morning?”

“Sounds like a plan, ma chérie,” Sycamore nodded. “I look forward to it.”

“Same here!” Serena laughed, finger hovering above the button for the ground floor. “See you later, Augustine!” At his wave, she pressed the button, waiting for the door to close before clumping against the wall and pressing a hand to her pounding heart.

#lacewoodshipping #lacewoodweek #long post #i'm gonna go sleep now bc it's 3:30am

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