#i am now struggling to pay it off yes it’s true

[constellations-and-energy]

i think people who tell me to “just pay off your credit card every time you get a statement” are truly and seriously so displaced from where i personally am financially and it feels like the advice is a baseball being thrown past me as hard as possible

[ewanmitchelll]

Imagine you were betrothed to Aemond Targaryen until circumstances impeded the match to concretize. Now, years later… will you and him be persuaded this is the right timing to amend things?

Warnings: drama, light smut. Long post.

***

• I

As the second child and oldest daughter of Lord Gwayne Hightower, you are privileged to be sent to your aunt’s household and there be raised as her royal ward.

Your Hightower charms do manage to captivate Queen Alicent at the time of your arrival—as well as King Viserys, by then very alive and in good health, who treats you as his own daughter. In the meantime you are settling at court, you ought to share the same apartments with your royal cousin, Princess Helaena, the first of your regal relatives to make your acquaintance.

“Greetings, Y/N. In green and black wheels, our fortune will gravely depend on it, I’m afraid. But you are a welcome addition to our misadjusted family.”

At first you do not understand the meaning of her words, however, your kindness speaks louder than reason so you flash her a smile—rather than pushing her away as so many have done before, which surprises the princess.

“Noble families are often troubled homes to be raised within, cousin. Every privilege comes with a price and aren’t we all willing to pay for it? Either way, thank you for receiving me. I hope you can find in me a friend to rely on.”

Initial distrusts put aside, Helaena nods her head. The idea of having a friend melts away her defenses and makes her smile to you.

“Do you like embroidery?”

“I fear I do not excel at it, but it is a pastime of mine”, you smile warmly.

“Very well. Come and follow my lead, I’d like your help to proceed with my work on it.”

“Gladly”.

And a bond is now forged.

*

Aemond watches as you walk almost arm in arm with Princess Helaena. You are dressing a green gown with long sleeves and your red hair falls loose behind your back. Some of the curls does in fact remind him of his mother.

But in secrecy the teenaged boy thinks you are prettier than the Queen.

“You should speak to her”, he struggles to hold back a sigh at the voice of Aegon. “Aren’t you doing your duty and welcoming her properly, brother? My, where are your manners?”

In order to avoid Aegon’s annoyance further, Aemond does in fact go after you. Like a shadow, he moves silently. Once spotting you at the gardens, he awaits for the best moment to get to you. With Helaena out of the sight, Aemond takes his chance.

“If the rumors are true, we are marrying when we reach age”, you turn around only to spot this long silver haired male who is likely the same age as you, counting three and ten summers.

You curtsy out of respect. Aemond nods his head in turn.

“Well, I wasn’t told of marriage prospects yet, but I would be lucky if this proves to be true”.

“Lucky? I lack my brother’s charms”, the boy chuckles in abhorrence. “Surely you must have met him.”

“I believe we have been introduced, yes. But I do not think he has any charms, if anything he’s an annoying prince”, you are pleased to find the Targaryen male chuckling. “And whom might you be, suitor of mine?”

Aemond does not admit at first, but you do strike him a positive impression, reminding him of the damsels he used to read about in chivalric novels.

“Lord Aemond Targaryen, Madame”, and here he does a proper bow.

“Cousin Aemond”, the way you break formalities so easily leaves him disconcerted. “What a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I’ve heard about you.”

“Good things, one hopes.”

“Naturally so. Would you care to spend the rest of the day with Helaena and I?”

Aemond’s reason urges him to leave you, but his tongue decides otherwise.

“I believe I am free off my duties, so why not?”

*

Later that evening, one could not stay too far from the other. Aemond soon comes to find out how much you and him have in common. To his surprise you are very educated.

“I prefer the philosophers of the East”, you tell him. “They are deeper in thoughts and observations about life. The ancient ones, in the days of Old Valyria, left some good works.”

“How’d you reach out to it?”, asks the prince, impressed.

“Well, living nearby Old Town has some advantages”, you laugh quietly. “Daeron has helped me with it.”

Something about his younger brother doesn’t sit well with Aemond. A sensation close to jealousy comes uninvited. But the prince disguises it well, though.

“How’s he by the way? I barely remember him now. We’ve been apart for many years.”

“He’s doing great and he misses his siblings too”, you tell him. “It is very lonely the journey to become a maester. And yet… if I can say anything about your younger brother is that he possesses a very sensitive soul.”

“Hum. Probably he’d be a better companion than Aegon”, he chuckles low.

This twilight you two are pacing around the castle. For a pair of youth, it is striking to see both of you discussing philosophers, historians and all that is in between. Then as day turns into night and dinner is prepared, you are forced to part ways.

“Are you not coming to join us for dinner?”, you ask him expectedly.

Aemond isn’t sure how to react about the suddenly expectation he spots in your y/c eyes. He is left again disconcerted. A feeling he doesn’t appreciate at the same time he is found eager to please you.

Why? A voice asks him. But he refuses to find the answer.

“I will… just change my robes.”

Your lips spread in a large smile and it is a sight that warms his heart.

“Good. I’d like to see you there, my lord.”

“As you will, my lady.”

Hesitantly, one says farewell to the other in a very typical young manner—even though you and him shall meet within five and ten minutes.

*

You are very pleased to be told you are betrothed to Aemond. The sight of your delight, that you make no effort in disguise, is a good omen to all, and even the wayward prince is not immune to it.

“How can you be this content in becoming my wife?”, he asks you when you are found walking towards the yard where the prince is to be trained under the guidance of Ser Criston Cole. “I have no dragon to call mine own.”

“Why shouldn’t I be?”, and you list his virtues and why each one earned you fondness. “A dragon doesn’t make you any less, my dear Aemond.”

But he cannot find a way to answer you properly for Ser Criston has summoned him to practice. It does little good to his pride when perceiving your presence. Your beaming presence. You are there to support him in ways few of his family ever did.

He casts you a long gaze and you hold it, pleased with the subtle certainty that he feels what you feel too.

*

Nevertheless, it’s you who eventually feels like an outcast for not being one who claims a dragon. In this comes your dear Helaena, who says:

“High you may fly, but not to skies you will find your might.”

You cast her a long glance. For a while you don’t speak a word but then curiosity gets the best of you.

“What is the price?”

Helaena ponders whether she can trusts you with her dreams. Eventually though, she realizes you are far more trustworthy with them than most of her relatives ever cared to comprehend such.

“A price of blood, I fear.”

You nod. Casting a glance to the clouds that begin to wipe out the blue that painted bright skies, you speak:

“What’s there to come, cousin? What have the Gods spoken?”

Putting aside her embroidery, Helaena slides to your side. Then she gently takes your hand and holds it quickly, showing in her way her fondness to you.

“If you are inclined to follow your heart, patience you must nurture for a hard path lies forward to us all.”

You have nothing else to say, baffled by these prophetic words. Nonetheless, if Helaena is resigned to whatever destiny she sees, you opt to trust in her and take the heels of such advice. After all, you tend to wear your heart on your sleeve.

*

“Do you dance, cousin?”, this day you and him are set at Dragonstones to attend the funeral of Lady Laena Velaryon, wife to Prince Daemon Targaryen, who died in childbirth.

Aemond took you for a walk around the sands, misliking the whole ceremony. Now, as wind blows a cold breeze, he notices your red curls are made a mess, a victim of weather; a view of wilderness he most appreciates.

“Not if I can help”, says he with a serene countenance.

“Not even if one’s partner is… tolerable?”

“You trick me to your will, cousin”, and here he takes hold of your hand. And makes you twirl. “Are you pleased to remove my pride?”

“You cannot fault me for your own doings, Aemond”, and you wink at him before getting to start a race.

The prince rolls his eyes, but maybe acknowledges some truth in your word. As he starts to get after you, though, Aemond spots a large creature not too far from where both of you are.

For a moment he stops what he’s doing. For a moment, only a flying living old dragon could take his eyes off you.

Vhagar calls him, he knows.

But when you turn your head with your inviting smile, Aemond patiently leaves a new idea for later. Perhaps nothing is too dull in Dragonstone, after all.

An event that might drag both of you to a tragedy droll is set to happen, and who could foretell the consequences of an inconsequent choice?

***

• II

Old stones in old piles come to your eyes as the first rays in the morning come through the window glass and wake you up. You stare at that familiar wall, a witness of time, once the keeper of your safety… and now turned into golden cages.

You turn at your side of bed. It is a large, wooden made, very cozy indeed. But the warmth of your line blankets annoys you and you toss them aside. Impatience rises in your chest and before you know, your eyes are tearing up again.

I should have gotten used to it by now.

But can one easily accept the task of moving forward after getting to feel loved in the way professed by bards? You could still remember his laughters, his secret smile… the long days spent at library, sharing a lecture or when you opted to discuss about eastern old philosophy right at the dinner table, earning a quizzical glance of your royal aunt and an amused one of your regal uncle.

You miss his scent. You miss how unexpectedly he could be when pursuing your fingers and intertwining with his.

Years have gone by. You are not that mischievous, lively child anymore. You are now a damsel, whose prospective future is put on hold.

“Oh Aemond”, you move barefoot towards the window and opens it, suffocating, eager for some fresh air. As you do, you come across the sight of green hills and small villages not too far from the castle you spent your early childhood. No sign of clouds, nor even of… dragons.

One more day. Even now, your unending hopes are crushed. Again.

“You cannot forget your promise”, you whisper angrily in gritted teeth as if he’s somewhere unseen. “You told me you’d have my heart until you died, that you’d make me your wife. But you are very much alive! Oh, can the Gods be this cruel?”

When you close your eyes, you can still remember the last day you met. He had lost his eye and the two of you escaped to the sands where stars were the only witnesses of such daring move.

“Will you still be my wife after all of this happened?”

“I will”, you assured him firmly, your warm hand holding tightly his cold one. “How dare you consider I would ever leave you?”

Aemond chuckled. The sound of it was miserable to you. Could he be blamed for it, though? You comprehended him more than he’d know.

“I must say I have grown suspicious. Besides, an one eyed prince is not a charming prospective as a husband.”

“I object”, and here you force him to look at you, holding his chin gently with your right hand. “I will never forgive myself for not being there when those foolish, stupid kids did that to you. I would gladly take my heart out as proof of my unending loyalty to you.”

Aemond blushed. A weak, crimson shade of pink painted his pale cheeks. You didn’t know his thoughts, how could you? But they were about you and you alone.

“I could never doubt you, my lady Y/Nickname. Apologies if I misled you to believe so. I just… felt so unworthy of your affection.” Before he could hold his tongue, words were spitted out. “Do you love me?”

You too blushed underneath moonlight. You were frightened, but more so that he’d not correspond you. Even so, despite the uncertainty you felt, you risked speaking the truth.

“I do. I… love you, Aemond.”

Aemond blushed deeper, looking away for a moment. Then he turned at you, open mouthed, ready to give you his heart too… when a scowl was heard:

“Well well, it appears we found two besotted younglings prompted to do something only two besotted imprudent younglings intend to do.”

Uncle Daemon’s remark was enough to make one part of the other. Despite the mockery in his tone, used to impede either of you to notice he was in fact with Rhaenyra throughout the day, his words left its mark.

Ever since that day, though, you haven’t seen Aemond again.

*

Aemond stares at the moon, dancing alone in her majesty nightly reign. No stars are seen, no clouds are there to omit her from the mundane sight.

A cold breeze blows his silver locks, messing with his hair. The prince pays no mind to it. Today it is not about the looks nor about the power he is hungry to possess.

Having dismounted Vhagar, and already aware that many troubles lay ahead of him as soon as he walks through that door, Aemond’s thoughts that evening go towards you.

“I wish I told her I loved her”, he confided his whore. “Every night I dream of her face, her y/c eyes and red locks staring at me. Her sweet demeanor haunts me. Like a prey that has outwitted the hunter.”

“Is it how you perceive the object of your true affections, my prince? A prey that has not fallen the web of your traps?”

He remembers looking at the older woman quite offended.

“I said no such a thing. She is… unreachable now. Literally so, even in my dreams. Y/N is the embodiment of purity, whose virtues are endless. No words can do justice to the goodness she possesses.” He paused, melancholic somewhat. “It is just, methinks, that she’s out of my grasp now.”

“Have you considered writing for her?”, the maternal tone he never heard in his own mother seemed to smooth his broken heart at that moment, only to cover the pain these words gave him. “She never knew you loved her too. You have a dragon, Aemond. What’s there to stop you from purchasing her?”

“Duties.” Aemond’s embargoed voice broke out of his masked pride. “Duties are the death of love.”

Whatever happened in the past should remain so. As Aemond crosses the grand door and takes the stairs to get to the Council meeting, though, he cannot conceive that he failed you. For he never wrote to you again—despite all of these promises…

“There is my brother! Loyal like a hound”, Aegon’s voice is enough to make Aemond sweep away the agony he’s been through the day. “Where have you been? We’ve been waiting for you.”

Aemond opts not to answer. He takes his seat and leaves the talking for the council. The Dowager Queen gives him a look, an inquiry one, but the prince avoids it.

“Well”, Otto finally begins the Council. “Apparently, Rhaenyra has not been sufficiently encouraged to make peace, so war it is.”

Aemond doesn’t like to remember that he’s partially the reason why conflict has turned inevitable. He’s still daunted by that monstrous image of Vhagar devouring the Velaryon boy.

He didn’t mean it. But what are intentions when it comes to war?

Perhaps it’s for the best that you’ve been taken away from me, Y/N.

Aemond never asked why you disappeared, but there was no need to. The Queen’s brother thought wise that you continued your education in Oldtown—perhaps more moved by Otto Hightower’s counsel, who was genuinely worried over you concerning the bluntness in Rhaenyra’s children—especially after what had happened to Aemond.

He reasonably accepted it, but he also resented it. Whatever it is, he doesn’t accept your absence. It makes no sense to him why you were withdrawn… and after what he’s done, anger and guilt consume him still.

Despite the angst in his thoughts, this is no time to self scourge. Aemond promptly participates in the council of war, listening to all and making acceptable suggestions here and there.

“Diplomacy failed”, says the prince before the king. “To war we must wage.”

The first steps to conquer allies and strength old alliances are thus shaped. Later, without Aemond’s acknowledgment, the idea to fortify Houses Targaryen & Hightower through marriage is returned.

“Perhaps we should have Daeron to bring Lady Y/N”, Otto contemplates.

“Is she going to be safe here?”, says Alicent, genuinely concerned. “If she comes over and falls in the enemies’s hands, Gwayne is not going to forgive me for this.”

“Gwayne knows what’s best for our family’s interest. Y/N is too precious to fall simply into Rhaenyra’s side. I’ll make sure of that.”

As the wheel turns, destiny is designed.

***

• III

Aemond is vibrating this day. He’s managed to collect great victories in the battles ahead all thanks to the strategies he traces with Aegon. Due to Rhaenyra’s incapacity of playing the game of thrones, both brothers seem to finally see eye to eye.

“It is for the best that we work together on this”, Aegon tells Aemond one of these days. “No one wants a safer realm than I do. I know you may judge me unfit for the throne I never wanted, but Aemond… we are family. May our differences be set aside for the sake of our cause.”

War is not a merely word drawn out of bards pens to mark the deeds of men and save for posterity their names. This is not about glory, but a conflict built over anguished, vicious souls, plagued by ambitious.

War is not fought alone, this Aemond knew it well. Aegon has his reasons to fear his younger brother, but he cannot be alone in such a time. They are already doomed for fighting a kin.

“Your cause is mine, Your Grace”, says Aemond, leaving his ambitions aside for the sake of the misadjusted family he’s born into. “To suggest otherwise is a treacherous, incommendable thought.”

“Good”, Aegon cannot conceal his relief. “I knew I could count on you.”

How odd it is to find peace in times of war.

Yet can it be called peace when Aemond is far from it? Plagued by old demons, he is in constant struggle to firm his steps. He cannot trust in anyone of his family, despite affirming his loyalty to Aegon.

But what else is there to be done? He has a role to play and this is no time to getaway of it.

*

Whilst the Seven Kingdoms bleed and burn, you remain safe at Old Town. Occupying yourself with books, embroidery and music have proved to be good to for your mind.

Indeed, Old Town is safe for you in many ways. You could still manage to take philosophy to your bed late night, you could still read how many books you want. You upheld many privileges being the son of Ser Gwayne.

You could dance merrily with Lord Daeron, but he reminded you often of Lord Aemond. And by the end of every night, you are forced to tell that he never loved you for he never bothered to write you.

We are at war, you tell yourself. Perhaps it’s for the best.

So you accept this is your fate. Maybe to remain unmarried, which is good—your library is still the safe haven you can go to, for you charmed the maesters there and no one can forbid you to touch untouchable books.

But is knowledge a good medication for a broken heart? You are yet to know.

“Daughter of mine”, your father’s voice startle you; for he is not expected. “I knew I’d find you reading at the gardens again. At times I think you have too much of the Tyrells in you”, says Ser Gwayne, alluding to his wife, Lady Margaery Tyrell, your mother.

You greet him like the devoted daughter that you are.

“What is there for me to do? Men sharp their blades and I sharp my brain.”

Ser Gwayne is proud for the intelligence you have developed. Had you been a son, he’d not been concerned over the matters of his succession.

“If only your brothers had the same concern. But your grandsire knows your worth is too high to be wasted around here.”

Your heart races, your mind accelerates, but your face remains unreadable.

“What is it you mean, dear papa?”

“What I mean is that you are going back to King’s Landing. Your mother protested against it, for you are our only daughter and these are perilous times to be sent to the capital”, by the way he sighs, you know Ser Gwayne agrees with his wife. “However, your grandsire has better plans for his favourite granddaughter. He wants to marry you off to Lord Aemond Targaryen. I don’t think the old man will rest until he tangles both houses into one same blood.”

He chuckles and you force yourself to join him in laughters. However, deep inside you feel weak, unwell even. How can this be? To marry him… the object of your childish desires, the man whom you opened your heart to…and yet never received any token in return.

“Is this certain? What’s with the rush?”, you hope you are disguising well your own atonement.

“It is, it’s been agreed at last. The late king lamented profoundly when you left the court, but in all honesty… I think you deserved better than a prince like Aemond”, and here your father pauses. “You must be aware of who he’s become. The war has started because of him.”

It is as if he’s expecting you to dissuade him of the idea, perhaps he wishes you to. You look away, finding an excuse to gaze at the flowers that colour the gardens.

True, you are more than aware of what he’s become. Some courtiers mock him, calling him a monstrous green in allusion of the Queen’s party against Rhaenyra’s, which is black. You have the sad news confirmed, albeit reluctantly, from Daeron’s mouth.

But this is not who he is, surely. He is proud, arrogant even, shielded in himself. Traits that you’ve become familiar with in girlhood. Traits that have not been righteous directed, turning him porcelain skin to iron.

Your reason conceives he’s not suited for the sensible woman you’ve grown to. Daeron would be a better fit and perhaps your father hopes you to admit that.

To Ser Gawayne’a sore disappointment, you’ve made up your mind. Your affection has deeper roots than he’d know, and it is firmly planted in you that all else cannot find place in your heart.

“I am not here to change anyone, my father. I take him as who he is.”

“Very well”, the lord sighs. “You’ll be sent with Lord Daeron, your cousin. He’ll fly with you to the capital in Tessarion.”

“I am not afraid of dragons, father.” You smile and lean to press a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.”

“If you are happy, then I am bound by honour to concede it to you, my daughter.”

The bells of liberty finally begin to ring.

***

• IV

Aemond has recently returned after smashing Rhaenys and Meleys. Victory is at last on his side and the prospectives are better. He’s been having an eye at Harrenhal though and he’s about to set his way there when he’s been summoned by his mother.

How strange. We’ve been barely speaking to. What, in Gods name, does she want?

What happens next is certainly getting out of his senses.

“Son”, she welcomes you with Helaena by his side. His sister is smiling in her own way,

Either something good is about to happen or I am about to fall on a trap. It is unusual to find contentment in Hel’s face.

“Mother”, he nods his head, keeping his guard high. “You summoned me.”

“I did. You may think I have forgotten that my son is to be wedded, but I have not.”

Aemond is discomforted. A dangerous topic that he learned to despise ever since you departed. But he keeps his expression neutral.

“I have no inclination to be married whatsoever.”

“I believe you may change your mind”, to his surprise it is Helaena who speaks. “We are bringing her back, Aemond.”

A shiver crosses his spine.

No. This cannot be.

“Her?”, he plays cynical.

“Yes. Lady Y/N is coming with your brother. It’s time for you to settle down, my dear child.”

Aemond feels a fuel of anger and resentment. Mostly because years separated you two, but the powerlessness of taking you back, to let you go.

Despite the confusion, nothing betrays his composed mask.

“I wasn’t consulted about this.”

“No one is hardly consulted where marriages are concerned”, Alicent laughs away. “Besides, I thought you liked her.”

Aemond doesn’t answer.

“Well, she’s coming soon. You better not disappoint.”

*

But he’s been anxious. Restless. No news of war can take his mind off you. He could have written about you, but his insecurities took the best of him.

When you departed, there was no warning. Neither was consulted about the matter, apparently. And yet…

A sound of dragon breaks the silence of the night. Aemond knows this is Daeron’s. And you are coming too. The prince leaves the yard and moves to the dragon’s pit.

He realizes a little too late that the whole family is there to welcome you. The prince opts to stay in the shadows, watching from a safe distance.

His good eye is mesmerized by how handsome you’ve grown into. Your hair is as red as he remembers; your curls, just as wild, a victim of wind. But you have curves now; your breasts are full and large, your hips giving a positive indicator of your fertility.

Your face… is just as divine as it was in his boyhood days. Your traces softened, and your lips still easily spread in a gentle smile.

You haven’t changed a thing, dear Y/N.

Aemond, troubled by the reminiscences of what has never been dissipated as he had hoped, quickly leaves. But for how long will he be able to avoid you?

*

You conceal the disappointment for not seeing him there to welcome you. But what could you expect when you two parted without saying goodbye?

“He’s coming soon”, Helaena tells you assuringly. “No need to worry, my cousin.”

“Oh, I am not worried. Not at all”, you smile as convincingly as possible.

But it’s difficult to keep your composure when he’s not present to attend the feast given on your behalf. The sound of music does not entertain your ears—it is as if Old Town’s tune was merrier. Or perhaps it all feels cold because he’s not there.

However, a distraction comes in the person of Daeron, to whom you’ve grown close in the days spent back home.

“Shall we dance, cousin? What a waste of beauty to stay here, away of the light.”

You chuckle lightly as you cede him your hand.

“Why, your flatter me with your poetic soul, Daeron. Let us dance then like the last time.”

In this moment, you don’t see him coming discreetly to take his place by his side. You miss his stare, his longing gaze following your steps. And yet… when you do meet his eyes, you take every control you have to act in a nonchalant manner.

Oh Aemond. How come years have gone by and you affect me so?

He’s now a handsome lad. Handsomer indeed than you’ve pictured him. Taller and serious, using an eyepatch to uncover the eye that was taken from him in that unfair circumstance you remember.

It feels impossible to reach out for you. Oh, Aemond. Please do not lock me outside.

Music ends after what it seems an eternity. There is no need to Daeron lead you back to your seat for this is a task Aemond takes himself.

“Lady Y/N Hightower”, the prince greets you formally and it hurts you to detect cold in his voice. You swallow back the tears and you remember to curtsy.

“My lord Prince”.

Aemond offers you his hand and he can tell that he affected you, perhaps not in the same way he wanted, for you hesitate before taking it. Cold and warm mix, like last time.

“May I lead you out of this spectacle?”

“If the king permits…”

“I do not think he cares.”

Silence hangs. You nod your head, afraid of bursting into tears right before the crowd. Perhaps your father has been right in protecting you. Who is this man you are now betrothed to?

For a while, undetected, the pair leaves the salon. It’s late by now and by this hour wine has had its effects. Somewhere close to yard is where Aemond stops walking. When you turn at him, he’s no longer cold.

“You left me, Y/N.”

Oh. Here it is. The subtle accusation. But it’s better than nothing, you tell yourself.

“I wasn’t told I would depart to Old Town, Aemond. I did not give my consent to it, but we both know how little power, if we have any at all, do we possess to command our destiny.”

Aemond avoids your gaze for a moment and you recollect his fragilities. You dare to shorten the distance and hold his hand. To your surprise, he does not shy away as your fingers lace.

“Do you honestly believe I left you because I wanted to? After all I told you?”

“What else could I have thought, Y/N?”

“You could have asked. You could have said anything.” And there they are: the puddle of water. “You never wrote me in these years!”

Aemond closes his eye, breathing heavily. Despite you trying to let go of his hand, he keeps holding yours firmly. Only then, you see pain in his eye when he opens it again.

“I was miserable when you left me alone in this world.”

“As if!”, you hiss. “You never cared for me!”

You turn away from him, instantly regretting for this decision to come up and try again. You’d think he’d leave you, but Aemond is no quitter.

“I love you, Y/N”, he pulls you against him one more time, this time closer than before. “I was stolen the chance to tell you that I love you! I fucking loved you! I could not find a replacement for the nest you made in my heart, nor could fix the hole you left in me!”

“Then why”, you sob, “didn’t you write?”

“Because”, he pauses, and here he lifts your chin after wiping away your tears, “I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“Of never being sufficiently enough for you. Hence why I figured that a better match was found to you. I thought…”, the prince chokes for a moment, struggling to hold back his own tears. “I thought you’d not love me anymore after I lost my eye.”

You cup his cheeks and make sure this time he looks at you.

“How dare you to nurture this thought? I have loved you since the first day I put my feet on this soil. I have known not other sentiment but the deepest shades of affection from the day you comforted me. I… I would never take anyone but Aemond Targaryen as my husband.”

A small smile tugs at his lips.

“I am unlovable, dear Y/N. Haven’t you heard what I’ve done?”

“No one is unlovable. I am not here to fix your wrongs, Aemond. I am here to help you make your rights.”

“You’re not leaving now.”

This is not a question. You smile.

“No. I am staying.”

Saying so, he leans forward and locks his lips with yours. You breathe in, dive into it.

He’s finally yours and you are finally his.

***

• V

You’d not think, nor Aemond, that the Gods amused themselves by testing the veracity of what one felt for the other. That the love surpassed years and obstacles is, some would say, an indication of divine favor.

But this is not what troubles your or his mind. When his lips are against yours, when his hands are locked with yours, when your legs are wrapped around his waist, when he is pleasing you… oh these past ghosts are long exorcized.

“I adore you”, he whispers against your ear, kissing your neck as he caresses your left breast. “Fuck, I am yours, eternally yours, Y/N.”

You moan loudly, singing out his name. Your hand is now against his hair, using the other to crave your nails into his skin, getting a groan out of his lips.

“My husband”, you bite his bottom lip. “I love you. Oh Gods! I cannot believe this is not a dream.”

“Not at all”, he smiles at you. “It’s you and me throughout time, dove.”

“No more whoring I pray”, you tease him, aware of his encounters with the woman of the brothel.

“I thought you knew that already. Never more.”

And saying so he dives into your neck, there staying until his eager mouth slips to your chest.

The synchronicity is so good that doesn’t take much time before you and him reach climax together.

“Mm, stay here”, you lock him with your legs. “Do not remove it out of me.”

Aemond laughs quietly as you smile, gently touching his face and his sapphire eye.

“Naughty uh?”

“We must compensate for the time wasted”, you tease him.

As he lies his head next to your shoulder, thus cuddling against you, you take the time to hold him tight, unwilling to break the spell. However, Aemond knows the inevitable must be said.

“We must discuss something, beloved. I am expected to take Harrenhal.”

Although you know this could not be postponed, you avoid his gaze and keep quiet for the moment. But Aemond knows you, and he sees the struggle in keeping yourself composed, the anxiety coming to your countenance.

He lifts his face and caresses your cheeks, forcing you to look at him.

“I told you I’ll love you until the day I die and I have no intention to leave you a widow so soon.”

“It’s not that I don’t have faith in you, but you understand you’ll face experienced warriors in there…”, and despite the efforts, fear comes to the speech.

“It may take a while, but I’ll beat those fools. I must do it for my brother’s sake.”

“Very well”, you know there is nothing you can do before his stubbornness… and his loyalty to the green cause.

“Y/N…”, he looks anxious now and you are surprised to find it in his features. “I cannot wage wars knowing you didn’t give me your blessing.”

You break to a soft smile, turning to his side and stroking his long face and hair.

“I consent, my husband. But do not dare to leave me alone in this world.”

“Never.”

To assure you he means it, he kisses you passionately. Not too soon after that, you and him burn the bed with the awake of long repressed desires one feels for the other.

***

• Epilogue

With the green victory uncontested, peace remains at long last. Despite the bad fame, Harrenhal is your new home and you are its new lady.

Whatever opposition you might find when your husband came to pick you up with Vhagar, none was left to resist the new residents.

Throughout the long reign of Aegon II the Wise and Good Queen Helaena, you provided Aemond a bunch of children to turn this gloomy castle into a merry and lousy household. These are:

1. Aerys and Rhaella, a pair of twins, who would keep the Targaryen tradition.

2. Rhaegar, raised in Oldtown—would marry a cousin Tyrell.

3. Visenya, many years later married to Maegor, third son of King Aegon & Queen Helaena.

4. Daena, would be married to Lord Brynden Tully of the Riverlands.

5. Baelor, would be raised as a squire at the capital and turned out to marry another child of Aegon & Helaena, a daughter they had named Alyssa. A coincidence of the fate? Who knew?

6. Maekar, later sent to become a Maester at the Citadel.

7. Aegon, later made lord of Summerhall. He’d take as wife his younger sister.

8. Alysanne, probably your favourite daughter—she’d grow to marry the brother she loved best, the lively and chivalric prince Aegon.

An ending very fitting for a love that was tested by time and won it over without much need of persuasion.

[rosella35]

Kaleb's Bad Day: Part I

*clears throat* It's been a while, G/T community!

I don't get as much time for writing anymore with my uni degree in its final years, but this is a one-shot I've been working on for an obnoxious amount of time now based on a prompt I got a while back: What if Kaleb, my borrower character, shrunk in class?

To set the scene since the last time I updated Borrowed Courage was in 2022 *sobs*, Kaleb and Brooke live in a world where the borrower race was discovered 10 years ago and unbeknownst to humankind, many borrowers use a drug called "Upsize" to temporarily grow to human size and blend into society. This one-shot is canon but probably won't be added to the main story for timing reasons. It's set roughly 2 months after Brooke first discovered Kaleb's secret identity as a borrower.

Part II will be up tomorrow - I hope you like!

Content warning: contains angst, swearing and nudity (not graphic).

****

“Alright. For the rest of today, I want you to work independently through the exercises in chapter two of your textbooks. I’ll be floating around if anyone has any burning questions.” Mr Bell instructed the class. From his seat at the back of the room, Kaleb gritted his teeth in frustration. On any other day, he would be more than happy to follow his teacher’s instructions; learning about human history was one of the things he’d enrolled in school for in the first place. From a young age, Kaleb had been fascinated with the way the giants that owned the world had came to be that way, while his kind— the borrowers— had spent their lives hidden away in the shadows. Today, though, he was only half paying attention. Kaleb ran his hands through his scruffy brown hair, finding it increasingly difficult to ignore the incessant pounding that seemed to reverberate all the way from his skull to his fingertips.  

Something was off. 

It wasn’t uncommon or him to be getting headaches from going consecutive days using Upsize, the drug that allowed him to attend human school at five feet nine instead of five inches tall. Even so, they hardly ever set in this early in the week, and were never an issue unless he was moving around too much. This one felt different. It had barely set in twenty minutes ago and was already driving him crazy. With a pained sigh, Kaleb tried to preoccupy himself with opening his textbook to the designated chapter. It felt weird to consider, since borrowers didn’t get sick nearly as often as humans did, but… maybe he was coming down with something.  

From the seat adjacent, Brooke Tucker glanced up from her own work to frown across at him. “Are you good?” She whispered, leaning forward with her hand on her chin. 

Kaleb immediately stiffened, surprised she’d even noticed his discomfort. Am I that obvious? “I don’t know.” He said uneasily. “My head is killing me.” 

The human girl’s brow creased in concern, an expression she rarely ever directed at him. If he weren’t so distracted by the pain, Kaleb probably would’ve been flattered. “Could be a migraine.” She suggested, before adding in a lower voice. “Do borrowers even get those?”

“Yes, we get migraines.” He whispered back, rolling his eyes. Since she’d discovered Kaleb’s true identity back in September, the human girl had made it her mission to find every opportunity to tease and mock him about being a borrower. Still, Kaleb couldn’t quite shake the feeling that something about this particular headache felt familiar. No way. That’s impossible. He dismissed, turning back to his textbook. “It’s probably nothing.” He assured her.

That was when he felt it.

BADUMP. 

A sudden wave of pain reverberated through his body, making him sit bolt upright in his desk like he’d just stepped on a live wire. It was a sensation Kaleb knew all-too-well, because he’d experienced it every afternoon after school for the past four years. 

His Upsize was about to wear off. 

“Shit.” He hissed, feeling the colour drain from his face. His mind reeled, struggling to make sense of why this was even happening. It was like one of his worst nightmares come to life. He should’ve had more time. He always had more time. Had Rodney messed up his dose? 

Kaleb ground his teeth together, forcing himself to focus. There was no time to dwell on the ‘why’. He had to get out of sight, and fast. 

BADUMP.

The room spun as he was hit with another rapid full-body ache, and Kaleb almost collapsed out of his chair. He felt himself start to shiver uncontrollably, the primal fear of being seen overwhelming his senses. “Kaleb, what the hell’s going on with you?” Brooke’s voice echoed somewhere beside him. “You’re making a scene.” 

Shit-shit-shit-shit-shit. Kaleb didn’t have to look up to know that the whole class was staring at him, a tingling feeling that sent his borrower instincts to flee into overdrive. He glanced across at Brooke, gazing unblinking into her judgemental grey-green eyes like they were his lifeline. In that moment, he made a decision.

“Why’re you staring at me like that, it’s creeping me—”

“Come with me.” Kaleb blurted out. 

That was all the warning Brooke got before he’d clamped his hand around her wrist and launched out of his seat, dragging her along behind him. 

“Sorry Mr Bell, we’ll be right back!” He announced in a rush of adrenalin, practically stumbling out the classroom door. Brooke, who had been too bewildered to react to their sudden exit, finally came to her senses as they entered the empty hallway. She ripped her hand out of his grasp, ears reddening in second-hand embarrassment from what had just gone down.

“What the fuck was that about?” She hissed, though her expression shifted to concern when he leaned heavily against the wall several paces in front of her, clutching his head. For the first time, Brooke noticed the raw, unsuppressed fear in his eyes.  

“I can explai—” Kaleb started, but broke off with a startled yelp when he felt the shrinking process finally kick in. He could only catch a glimpse of Brooke’s startled expression before the ground rushed towards him and he was swallowed up by his human clothes that were suddenly hundreds of sizes too big. Within the span of a few seconds, he found himself back at his original five-inch-tall height and buried beneath the course folds of his t-shirt, chest heaving from the lingering adrenalin and body frozen in terror as the reality of his situation dawned. 

Brooke, having witnessed the whole thing, did a double take. “What in the—” One second Kaleb had been standing there in front of her, and the next… Her eyes fell to his unoccupied pile of clothes, and she swore, realising what had just happened. 

“Kaleb? Brooke? Is everything okay with you two?” She froze at the sound of Mr Bell’s voice from inside the classroom, his footsteps growing closer and closer.

Panicking, Brooke scrambled to scoop up the bundle of Kaleb’s clothes, quickly locating the squirming figure buried within, and shoved them behind herself. The second he felt her fingers close around him and lift him blindly into the air, Kaleb’s heart leapt into his throat. He shivered involuntarily, the sensation of powerful human hands around his entire frame serving as a stark reminder of how little control he had over their current situation. All he could do was make himself as small as possible in her grip and trust Brooke to handle things with the teacher. 

“Y-Yep!” The human girl said, turning around just as the Mr Bell poked his head out the classroom door. Her hands tightened protectively around Kaleb’s smaller form under the clothes, feeling his tiny heartbeat flutter like a bird’s against her fingers. She cleared her throat awkwardly in attempt to compose herself. “I mean… actually, Kaleb wasn’t feeling well. He went ahead to the nurses office, but would you mind if I go too? J-Just to make sure he’s okay.” 

The teacher gave her a strange look, and Brooke held her breath, waiting for him to notice the bundle of Kaleb’s clothes behind her back and effectively blow her cover story. After a moment though, Mr Bell’s expression softened to concern. “Oh, of course you can.” He said with a nod. “I hope he feels better soon. Don’t worry about missing the rest of the lesson. I’ll email the two of you supplementary work later today.”

She managed a strained smile. “Thank you.” 

The moment he disappeared back inside, Brooke took off down the hall, her mind stalling on what she was supposed to do next. There was no way she could actually take Kaleb to the nurses office without exposing him, and it would be too suspicious if she just up and left the building in the middle of class. She cursed. There was really only one place that would give the two of them some privacy, which made her uncomfortable even thinking about, but Brooke didn’t really have a choice. 

Resigned to her fate, she made beeline for the girl’s bathroom. 

Locking herself inside a cubicle, Brooke let out a relieved sigh. She sat down heavily on the closed seat of the toilet, turning her attention to the bundle of Kaleb’s human clothes in her lap and the tiny muffled voice she could suddenly hear through the fabric. “Can’t breathe—!”

Eyes widening, Brooke loosened her hold around the clothes. It seemed silly now, but in her haste to get to somewhere private, she’d almost forgotten that Kaleb had been with her the whole time, buried underneath the layers of denim and cotton.  She was about to reach in to try and pull him out, when she realised that somewhere amongst the folded material, Kaleb was not only borrower-sized but naked. Face heating up at the thought, Brooke sat back against the toilet and cleared her throat awkwardly. “Okay, you’re safe to come out. We’re alone.” 

Sure enough, it wasn’t long after she’d spoken that Brooke noticed a miniature head of scruffy brown hair poking out through the of one of the t-shirt sleeves as Kaleb revealed himself at last. He blinked rapidly in the harsh fluorescent lighting, scrambling to cover himself with his blanket-like clothes. Without his usual shirt and tan jacket combo, he seemed almost smaller than usual, his bare shoulders slim and pale and his breaths short and fast. Fragile was the first word that came to mind. Intuitively, Brooke knew that compared to humans, borrowers really were fragile and vulnerable, but those were never words she’d associated with Kaleb. Now though, he wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that his entire body trembled like a scared animal in her hands. 

That didn’t stop her from glaring daggers at him. “What the fuck, Kaleb!” She hissed. “You almost gave me a heart attack!” 

Kaleb flinched instinctively, his hazel eyes shooting up to meet her now much larger grey ones. Brooke’s angry expression faltered. Shit. He looked terrified— even more so than the time she’d found him on the apartment roof all those weeks ago. She swallowed, turning away uncomfortably. That look in his eyes… It didn’t suit him at all. 

The two of them didn’t speak for several minutes, awkward silence permeating the cubicle. Kaleb took that time to try and compose himself, his full-body tremors slowly dissipating as he tried to calm his pounding heart. It wasn’t easy to do by any means, but he appreciated Brooke’s patience. Finally finding his voice, he tilted his head to meet her eyes. 

“S-Sorry.” He said, holding the material of his shirt around his nude frame with white knuckled hands. He licked his dry lips. “No one saw… did they?”

Brooke sighed, making a conscious effort to shift to a gentler tone of voice. Now probably wasn’t the time for their usual teasing banter. “No.” She reassured him. “Just me.” 

Kaleb visibly relaxed at that, minuscule shoulders slumping under the thick material of his shirt. “Thank god.” He breathed, almost too quiet for her to make out. So he hadn’t been seen by anyone else in the class. Just knowing that was enough to ease a significant portion of his built up anxiety. With a clearer head, Kaleb finally paused to take in his surroundings, and his jaw immediately dropped when he caught sight of a toilet roll as long as he was tall. “What the—” He exclaimed, looking up at her with an aghast expression. “Is this the girl’s bathroom—?!” 

Brooke held back a snort as his tiny face turned beet red with embarrassment. Much more like the Kaleb she knew. “You didn’t exactly give me much time to think of a better place to go.” She pointed out, sitting up straighter on the toilet seat. “And while we’re on that topic, what the hell happened to you? Isn’t your wonder drug supposed to last the whole day?” 

Kaleb flinched at that and peered down at his smaller form, pathetically dwarfed by the clothes that had fit him perfectly less than ten minutes ago. Already, without the disguise that was his human height, he was starting to feel like the fraud he was; just another borrower trying and failing to carry himself with the same level of confidence and liberty as a human. “I-I don’t know.” He mumbled. “Maybe my uncle messed up the dose.” He wrapped the the fabric of his shirt sleeve tighter around himself, feeling more exposed than ever. “This has never happened to me before.” 

“Clearly.” Brooke said. “If I hadn’t been there to cover for you, you’d’ve been screwed for sure.” 

She felt him shiver at that fact, almost making her regret her choice of words. “You’re right.” Kaleb looked up at her again, his expression earnest. “Thank you, Brooke. Really.” 

Brooke blinked. That was unexpected. She shifted in her seat and looked away, hoping he wouldn’t notice her blush. With their current size difference, that was unlikely. “I-It’s fine.” She said. “So, uh… what now, then? Do you have any more Upsize you can take?” 

Kaleb pursed his lips. “I don’t keep any spare pills at school.” He admitted quietly, shuddering again despite the course fabric around him. “With Upsize, you need to wait at least an hour after shrinking before you can take another dose. It’s supposed to give the medicine a chance to leave your system, kind of like a cool-down period.”

“Right, of course that’s a thing.” Brooke sighed. She tried racking her brain for an alternative solution. “Well then, can someone come get you? Surely Evie would. I bet she’s bored out of her mind back at the apartment without having me to spy on.” 

Instead of laughing at her poor attempt at a joke, Kaleb looked horrified. “I can’t just leave early!” He exclaimed. “I’ll miss maths next period. Mrs Crowley said she’d be giving out final exam tips today!” 

Brooke couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You’re kidding.” She started, holding back a disbelieving laugh. Looking closer at his tiny, pleading features though, her smile faded. “You’re not kidding.” She deadpanned, groaning. “Come on, Kaleb. How the fuck are you supposed to come to class like this? You don’t even have any clothes!”

Kaleb’s cheeks heated up and he pulled the shirt sleeve a little tighter around himself as he was reminded of his current nudity. “I can get clothes.” He insisted, his usual confident demeanour returning in full force. “I have a spare set in my locker. Climbing gear, too.” 

Brooke would have face palmed herself if her hands weren’t still cupped around his tiny frame. She regarded him quizzically. “Well that’s great, but isn’t your whole thing supposed to be not getting seen by the rest of the class?” 

Kaleb shook his head. “I don’t have to actually come to class. You could just, y’know, let me off into the air vent and I can listen in from there.” He suggested, giving her a clumsy shrug from amongst the bundle of clothes. 

Brooke just stared down at him, completely lost for words. “You’re crazy.” She muttered. “You’re actually fucking crazy. You literally almost shrunk in front of our whole class, and now you want me to just let you go off into the walls so you can catch some stupid exam tips?” 

“Brooke.” 

She didn’t hear him, her voice rising in annoyance as she continued. “And then what? Am I supposed to just stay back and look for you after class, like that’s totally not suspicious at all?!”

“Brooke.” 

“Ugh!” She wanted so badly to bang her head into the cubicle door. “Why do I even get myself into these situations? I swear, ever since I found out about you and your stupid little secret, my life’s been a fucking disaster—!”

“BROOKE!”

She broke off with a start at his exclamation, caught off guard by how loud he’d managed to sound despite his obvious disadvantage in size. Brooke bit her lip, breathing heavily through her nose. She almost jumped when she felt a slight pressure on her thumb. Kaleb had reached out to touch it with his much smaller hand, stroking the digit in attempt to reassure her. “You good?” He asked. 

“Y-Yeah.” Brooke replied weakly, her mouth dry. She didn’t want to say anything but the feeling of his tiny hand on her finger felt so… weird. Kaleb almost never initiated physical contact with her when he was borrower-sized.  

He nodded, meeting her eyes again. “I’m sorry.” He said with obvious embarrassment. “I got a bit ahead of myself there. I guess I just thought you’d want me out of your hair so you could get back to class. If you can help me to my locker, I’ll call Evie to come pick me up, and I’ll just email Mrs Crowley about the exam later.” 

Brooke sighed at his words, a much simpler solution coming to mind that she was probably crazy for even suggesting. “Or you could just come with me.” She pointed out, the corner of her mouth twitching in amusement when he blinked up at her. “What? Did you forget we have the same maths class?” 

“Come… with you?” Kaleb repeated, looking thoroughly unconvinced. “As in, on your person? Where would I even go—?” His broke off, eyes trailing upwards to the chest pocket of her oversized denim jacket at the same time hers did. His face lost several shades of colour, and he shook his head firmly, despite knowing deep down that he might not have any say in the matter. “No way. No way. I’m not gonna sit in your pocket all day like some house pet, Brooke! That’s just… that’s just embarrassing!” 

The human girl smirked down at him. “Well, would it be any more embarrassing than being tiny and naked in the girl’s bathroom?” Her hand inched up to ruffle his hair teasingly. “I mean, unless you’re secretly a pervert?” 

Kaleb swiped at her already retreating digit. “I’m not a pervert!” He snapped, pointing his own diminutive finger up at her accusingly. “You brought me here, not the other way around!”  

“Relax, I’m just messing with you.” She giggled. “You’re always so easy to work up like this.” 

Kaleb bristled. “Yeah, well can you blame me? When I’m like this, there’s five extra feet of you to piss me off!”

“Fair point.” Brooke smirked. “So, what’s it gonna be then?” Her hands edged closer around him, as she impatiently tapped her foot against the tiles. “I can’t just keep sitting on the toilet for the rest of the day.”

Kaleb sighed, turning his gaze downwards in defeat. He had to admit she was right about that. Stalling was only prolonging what they both knew had to come next. “Fine. I’ll come to class with you.” He hesitated. “Just… can we please get my clothes first?” 

Brooke looked at him, shock evident on her face. Did he really believe that she wouldn’t let him get changed? It was humbling to think that with Kaleb like this, without his bag or climbing gear, he was essentially putting his life and his autonomy in her hands. Just knowing that made Brooke soften her voice ever so slightly. “Um, yeah, of course. There’s no way you’re coming with me in the nude. That’s fucked up.” 

Kaleb breathed a sigh of relief at her reassurance, offering a grateful smile. “Okay… Well, in the meantime, could you grab me a piece of toilet paper? To cover up, I mean.” 

Brooke blinked, glancing across at the roll beside her. Hesitantly, she tore off a small strip of toilet paper between her thumb and index finger and handed it down to him. Kaleb took it, ducking under his sleeve for a moment to tie it around his waist like a towel. He looked down at his handiwork, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’ll do.” He muttered to himself, letting the oversized shirt sleeve fall away so that he was standing at his full five-inch height in her cupped hands.  

Despite herself, Brooke almost did a double take when she saw his bare chest for the first time. There was no denying it; Kaleb was ripped. The thought had never occurred to her, but considering his active lifestyle, she really shouldn’t have been as caught off guard as she was. A little more of a tan, and he could’ve belonged in a body building magazine. She tore her eyes away before he caught her staring, but that didn’t stop her cheeks from heating up. 

She coughed. “Right. Ready to go then?”

“That depends.” Kaleb smirked knowingly. There was really no way he could have missed a stare that size. He took a bold step forward in her cupped hands and flexed his muscles tauntingly. “Did you want a closer look?” 

“W-What?”

“Who’s the pervert now, huh?” He teased, throwing the label right back at her.

“Shut up!” In that embarrassment-riddled moment, Brooke reacted in the only way she could think of. She poked Kaleb harshly in the chest. Like always, he staggered backwards with a yelp at the impact, but this time neither of them had taken proper stock of their surroundings. As if in slow-motion, Kaleb tripped over the folded clothing behind him, simultaneously jostling free the poorly secured knot holding up his toilet paper toga. All hope of modesty gone, he fell flat on his back with his legs gracelessly splayed… within full view of the human girl holding him. 

The two of them stared at each other in silent shock for several seconds, and Brooke wished she could bleach her eyeballs. Instead, she opted for the next best course of action.

“AHHHH!”

[ellethespaceunicorn]

Treat Me Like A Slut

Title: Treat Me Like A Slut

Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors - DNI

Pairing: August Walker x Reader

Fandom: Mission: Impossible - Fallout

Word Count: 2K

Summary: August has had enough of your antics, and you’re going to pay for it.

Warnings: m!Dom/f!sub, Dom!August, sub!reader, bondage, flogging, gagging with panties, butt plug, unprotected vaginal sex, unprotected anal sex, creampie

A/N: I wrote this because I needed to get it out of my head. August Walker needs to start paying rent in my head. Unbeta’d, we die like people who tried their best. 

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics

Support/Reblog banner by me

Cover Art by Me

My Masterlist 

“August, please–” You tried to plead with your Dom but he cut you off so fast that it made your head spin.

“You’ve lost your privileges to use my name, Angel. Now, as I was saying, panties off and give them to me.” He reached out his hand expectantly.

You rose from your chair and reached under your dress until you hook your fingers along the waistband of your thong. Pulling it down slowly, you maintain eye contact with August. You step out of it and put them in his waiting hand. Putting the underwear in his pocket, he nods.

“Kneel.” He commands, unbuttoning the cuffs of his deep purple dress shirt and then rolling them up to reveal his hairy, vein-streaked forearms.

“Yes, Sir.” You reply and lower to your knees, knowing that you can’t talk your way out of this one.

“I think it’s time to remind you who’s in charge here, Angel. You seem to have forgotten.” 

“I’m sorry, Sir.” You keep your eyes lowered to the unforgiving wooden floor beneath you.

“I wish I could believe you. Follow me, Angel,” You start to rise before August stops you, “No. You’re to crawl behind me. And one more thing,” He leans down and pushes the button on the bottom of the plug currently nestled inside you.

When it comes to life, you let out a strangled moan. You had been wearing the new plug for hours and weren’t aware of the vibration feature. Starting to squirm, you open your mouth to plead with August.

“Before you even start, this was your doing, wasn’t it? Bothering me while I worked earlier today. And then doing so again not a handful of hours later. It’s almost as if you like being punished, Angel,” He smirks down at you, knowing the last bit to be true, “Hands and knees, follow me.”

Leaving his office, you move as fast as you can behind him. With every movement, you can feel the vibrations against your hole. You try and hide your arousal but your frail resolve betrays you. You let out a groan and are surprised to bump into the solid wall that is August’s leg.

He sighs deeply but doesn’t turn around as he addresses you, “If you cum before you’ve been given permission, there will be hell to pay. Am I understood?”

“Yes, Sir.” You force the words out as you struggle to steady your breathing.

When August starts to walk again, you follow him. In your bedroom, happy to be on plush carpeting, you feel yourself begin to relax. Too soon, you find. 

August sits on one side of the four-poster bed you share and beckons you with one finger. You stand on wobbly legs and he pulls you forward and over his lap. You could have figured this is where this day was going to go, but you were too busy being a brat to think of the consequences.

Pulling your dress up over your ass, he massages the flesh of your globes. “You’re going to count these out, Angel. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Sir.” You answer and feel August reach over you to the nightstand drawer. You know what’s in that drawer and you stiffen in his lap.

“Oh, now you see the repercussion, huh? If you didn’t want the flogger, you shouldn’t have misbehaved.” He allows you to hold onto his pant leg as he pulls out the aforementioned tool.

He lets the leather tendrils ghost over the skin of your calves and thighs. Raising the flogger above his shoulder, he delivers the first blow.

“One.”

“Hm. This angle…I don’t like it. Up, Angel,” He walks around to the other side of the bed and has you lay down on your stomach in the center of the bed, “Just like that. Now, you are going to keep your legs open for me. If you can’t do that, I can restrain your ankles to the bed just as easily.”

You turn your head behind you and see that the cuffs are already attached to the foot of the bed and your eyebrows raise.

“Angel, if you want to be cuffed, just say so.” He smiles down at you, relishing your excitement.

“Sir, I would like to be restrained.”

“Good girl. I’m proud of you. Would you like your wrists cuffed as well or just the ankles?”

“Wrists and ankles please, Sir.”

“My sweet Angel, as you wish.” He goes about locking both ankles into the heavy cuffs, planting a gentle kiss just above where the leather sits against your skin. Moving to the head of the bed, he locks your wrists into the restraints as well.

You test your mobility and you get a thrill out of the thought of giving complete control to August. You look at him and nod that you are ready to begin. 

“You’re going to count to ten, Angel. Is that clear?”

“Yes, Sir.”

As he begins his assault on your ass, you count aloud. Every thunderclap is harder and louder than the last. More than once, one of the tendrils falls between your spread legs and slaps against the plug or your netherlips.

Thwap! “Ten!”

August grunts and throws the flogger on the bed. He walks to the end of the bed and surveys his handiwork as he begins to undress. He can see where there will be bruising tomorrow, he’ll remember to go easy on you later. He grins when you wriggle your hips, showing off your still-vibrating plug and leaking cunt. 

Taking your panties out of his pocket before taking his pants off, he walks to the head of the bed where you turn to look at him.

“What color, Angel?”

“Green, Sir.” You smile lazily.

“Good. Open your mouth,” You open your mouth and he stuffs your underwear inside, “Now that you’re gagged, we’re gonna use fingers. Thumb out means good, your first finger means to slow down, and your middle finger means stop. Okay?”

You extend both thumbs and smile around your panties. He caresses your cheek and crawls on the bed, kneeling behind your ass and stroking his thick, hard cock. Reaching over you, he steals a pillow and props your hips up to give him easier access.

Using a finger, he collects some of your pussy juice and swirls it around your clit. You didn’t expect him to use the other hand to scratch down one abused cheek. When that wrangles a moan out of you, he licks and lays kisses upon both cheeks. He peppers in some nibbles on a few sensitive spots on your hips as well.

With you savoring the attention on your bottom, you weren’t expecting for August to enter you in the next breath. The heat, the warmth, the tightness. They welcome him in and elicit a hiss from both of you. 

Pulling out slowly and then slamming back in rocks the bed and it feels amazing. August puts one hand on the back of your neck and one on your hip. Starting his rhythm again, he crashes his hips against yours in an almost animalistic pattern. Rutting into you, he praises you for being such a good girl for him.

Writhing beneath him, you’re forced to take every thrust he dishes out. Feeling him so deep inside you at this angle, you thank your lucky stars that this is what happens after you accept your fate. You get to have this god of a man pounding out your insides in the middle of the day.

You were too in your head to notice when August turns up the vibration on the butt plug. The muffled wail that comes out of your mouth is music to his ears and you feel him twitch inside you, but he doesn’t stop.

No, he’s not going to cum before you do. 

“Don’t hold back, Angel. Come for me. Come all over my cock.” He breathes, the hand on the back of your neck is now moving around to the front as he applies slight pressure to the sides.

Your legs start to shake and you can feel the telltale signs of your impending orgasm. The hand that was at your hip now reaches up to remove the thong from your mouth just in time for you to release a heavenly howl that reverberates through the both of you.

Before you come down from your euphoric high, you feel the plug being removed from your ass. It’s being replaced with the blunt tip of August’s cock and you love the sensation of being stretched around him as he sinks in.

“Fuck, Angel. You’re like a fucking vice, so good for me.” He loves the moments like this where you’re all fucked out. Your semi-lifeless body underneath him is just for his pleasure at this point.

What neither of you expected was for your breathing to pick up in a manner that could only mean one thing. You could feel the knot inside you tightening again. Before you even try and ask, you’re commanded.

“Come for me, Angel.” He’s wrapping an arm around your neck and the other around your upper torso as you let go. 

You can feel your pussy clenching around nothing and your asshole gripping his dick so much so that he has to pause in fucking you.

But, he doesn’t mind it for long as you feel him engorged and pulsing inside you within seconds. He rests his head against yours for a beat while he comes down. As he begins to soften, you can feel him slip out of you followed by some of his spend. 

He lays a kiss on your shoulder before unwrapping himself from around you. He trails kisses down your back, stopping just before your plump rear. He uses both hands to open your ass and watch as his jizz drips down your ass and pussy lips.

He releases you from the cuffs, rubbing the space where they sat upon your skin. He retrieves a wet washcloth from the en suite bathroom and wipes you down before laying in bed next to you and pulling you close.

He smiles down at you as you tangle your fingers in his chest hair.

“All you wanted was attention, am I right?” He asks, his hand tracing patterns on one hip.

“Yes, but–”

“But, you thought you could interrupt me and not be punished for it.”

You hide your face in his shoulder and try and end the conversation. He grabs you by the chin and makes you look at him.

“Sounds like this won’t be the last time that you interrupt me for attention. Do I even get a ‘sorry’ for the time you took me away from my work?”

“I’m sorry, Sir.” 

When August deems your apology to be sincere, he places a chaste kiss on your lips. When you furrow your brows and whine, he rolls his eyes before leaning back in to claim your mouth. Not wanting to rile you up again, he lets go of your chin and lays back down.

“Ya know, I spoil you, Angel.” He winks at you as you nod exuberantly.

“I know, Sir. And thank you.”

“Now, where was this polite girl an hour ago?” He raises an eyebrow and shoots a look at you.

“Busy being ignored, Sir.”

He opens his mouth for a retort, but he doesn’t have one. 

“Valid point,” He laughs inwardly, one arm going behind his head, “Can you forgive me, Angel?”

Leaning up on one arm and donning a serious face, you answer him, “I think I can be persuaded to forgive you.”

“That serious, huh?”

You nod gravely, “I think it might cost you, Sir.”

“Ah, and what might that be?”

“A weekend away. Just you and me, please?” Your eyes couldn’t get any more adorable than they were at that point.

He chuckles and shakes his head, “I think I can arrange that.”

“Thank you, August,” You say, kissing his cheek, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He rubs soothing circles on your hip until your breathing even out and you both take a much-deserved nap.

A/N: I got the title from the Kim Petras song, Treat Me Like A Slut. That song never fails to make me think of August and I had to write out my thots.

**Tag List**

@brattymum96 @ambinxe @avengersfan25 @kebabgirl67

@astheskycries @enchantedbytomandhenry

@rebelangel1102 @mrs-solo-walker

Let me know if you wanna be added (or removed) 😁

[leeehye]

Sweet Truth - pt.2

“…I couldn’t let her see my true self and now she has this impression of me”

Summary pt2 ~ The next day things at the office things get tense when Y/n is offended before meeting. She questions why Mr. Choi (Seung Cheol) is undergoing strange changes

Warnings ⚠️ ~ fluff☁️, angst, may contain some smut in future parts, language, sexual assault ❗️- enjoy

a/n - it is finally here! I’m sorry it took long and I’m sorry if it seems like it’s all over the place but it will all connect! Thank you for all the love to part one! 💕

pt.1 recap (continued)

His gaze was fixed on me. He was hesitant to say whatever he wanted to say. I looked at him with innocent eyes ready to hear him.

“Um…I’ll see you tomorrow Miss Y/n” he said gently, patting my shoulder with his large hand and making his way around the car to the driver’s seat.

“Oh yeah! Yes sir goodnight! And I apologize again for my mom” I said with a nervous face and he gave me a small smile while getting in his car driving off. Releasing a sigh I whispered to myself

“Y/n what you were you expecting to hear from him...”

Next Morning

The next morning was like usual, everyone in their business and quietly working, meaning Seungcheol was here already. Setting down my bag on my desk I sat down and started to look through today’s schedule and started humming softly.

So focused on taking some notes my nose caught the smell of really nice cologne, gentle yet strong and…manly. It was bad that I knew who that was. I looked up and saw Seungcheol right next to me.

“Ah! Seung— Mr. Choi!” I exclaimed, jumping from his closeness. Clearing my throat hearing the awkward situation and workers now looking at us, I straightened my posture and looked at him.

“Um do you need anything sir?” I asked softly and he shook his head before checking his watch.

“Looks like you slept in today Miss Y/n…I was waiting for today’s schedule…” he said in a cocky voice I frowned, my eyebrows confused and quickly grabbed his hand looking at his watch. What was I thinking?

“Holy sh— so sorry sir I lost track of time!” I said gathering my stuff.

“You have an important meeting in like…less than... 5 minutes…” I said quickly, sprinting off to the meeting room.

In exactly 5 minutes all the executives walked in and some of them were already there. I was still setting up the projector, arranging the folders and just making sure everything was ready for Mr. Choi.

“You must be Mr. Choi’s new assistant” a male voice called to me and hearing my boss’s name made me turn. It was an older man, the important man that we were supposed to impress today. He was offering a great deal to Seungcheol.

“Oh um yes sir, I’m Y/n, Y/l/n Y/n” I said politely bowing my head. Before looking at him.

“That’s nice sweetheart, you’re a bit young huh sweetie?” he asked while some of his friends started to chuckle and some of my coworkers looked at him weirdly. I started to no like this guy.

“Um I’m Y/n sir…Please call me like that or just Miss, if it’s easier…And yeah I am young, yet Mr. Choi has never had a problem with my work” I said with not a harsh voice but not a soft one. I had to defend myself with this old dude.

He scoffed and started to eye me, his eyes moved down to my legs and towards my chest. I rolled my eyes and continued with my work. Yes I was uncomfortable, but it was still my job and I had to do it for Seung Cheol.

“Does Seung Cheol pay you well? I mean…unless you’ve already asked for a raise, you have the key to that” he said and I had lost it. I slammed the folders on the table and I was about to make my way to him but Jeonghan came in quickly held me back.

“Let go Jeonghan! this sick pervert is not even here for work!” I exclaimed glaring angrily at him as Jeonghan had his arm wrapped around through my stomach and waist and grabbed my slapping hand with the other one.

“Y/n please let’s just get out of here—” Jeonghan whispered, trying to avoid a big conflict. I was still struggling in his grip and the man laughed.

“Isn’t she a feisty one?” he said and kept on with his disgusting glances.

“Listen you idiot I don’t care if you’re Mr. Rich, Damn millionaire or whatever you are! You are a pervert and I know that you are married, you are disgusting!” I yelled pointing at him and Jeonghan’s grip slowly lightened and my eyes slightly glanced seeing Seungcheol already by the door. He had heard everything I just said. Shit! I huffed softly and stomped my heels as I started to walk to the door.

Stopping in front of Seungcheol I make a 90 degree bow.

“The projector is on, now excuse me sir. I can’t stay at the meeting I have…a…complaint to make” I said, squeezing my hands into fists, before leaving, not making eye contact with Seungcheol not even once.

30 minutes had passed and I was by my desk standing up. I couldn’t stay sitting down. It was impossible, I was anxious to know if that bastard would accept Seungcheol. Or if I had ruined it for him. God he will probably fire me.

I started to chew on a cuticle and suddenly the door opened, making me slightly jump. It was the perverted man from earlier. He walked out of the room, glared at me and walked away to the elevator followed by his workers. I didn’t know what to do. Should I go check on Seungcheol? I debated with myself for a few seconds when I saw Seungcheol walking out, and I quickly turned and pretended to arrange some papers. He said nothing to me and went into his office slamming the door.

There was mumbling from the people around and I saw Jeonghan walk out with his iPad. I made my way to him quickly tugging on his sleeve.

“Hey, what happened? Am I fired?” I whispered to him and he looked around grabbing my arm pulling me to the breakroom.

He was making me more nervous than ever, I looked at him with full attention.

“God Jeonghan! What happened?” I asked, slapping his arm gently. He looked at me and shushed me.

“I didn’t want to say it with everyone around listening, Mr. Choi wasn’t accepted with Mr. Kim, the guy you almost fought…hey let me finish” he said stopping me from arguing “he didn’t get accepted because he declined it, and threatened Mr. Kim with what had happened…he was on your side Y/n, he will make sure that other companies break partnerships with him” Jeonghan finished and I froze on my spot.

“Woah, wait what?” I managed to say still in shock of what I had just been told. Jeonghan gave me a few more details but I was lost questioning why Seungcheol was becoming nicer. It wasn't normal for him to put an employee before his own advantages for the company. But him defending me was quite a nice quality of him.

Minutes later, I had to go into Seungcheol’s office and I didn’t know if things would be awkward and had no idea what to expect. Should I ask him about it? Ugh whatever Y/n, Jeonghan told you what happened it can’t be bad.

I gave myself a pep talk before knocking on his door gently before walking in seeing him drawn into work that he probably didn’t notice me. His eyes finally left the screen when he heard my heels tapping against the floor.

“Um…hello sir, I need you to sign these papers…” I said handing him a few folders he hummed quietly and took them and started to read through them.

“Also sir, do you want me to start on something for the new project…with um Mr. Kim?” I asked gently, smoothing down my skirt. He frowned and looked up at me.

“No…The partnership was canceled…” he mumbled before signing the papers. I had decided to risk it and ask I wanted to hear what Jeonghan said from Seungcheol’s mouth.

“R-really um…why? it was a big opportunity for you—” I said softly and he closed the folders handing them to me.

“It wasn’t the best for the company…” he said and my shoulders dropped down. I slowly nodded but didn’t believe him one bit not because I already knew the truth but because he was a horrible liar.

“Mr. Choi…tell me the truth…a really honest truth” I said politely looking down remembering the scene I made earlier.

“Like my truth is…I was really offended—” I continued but he cut me off.

“No Miss Y/n…you did the right thing,” he stopped letting out a sigh. “I declined the partnership because one, it would be bad reputation for us to accept someone like him and two...you would have to be dealing with him...” he said and it caused a smile to form on my lips.

“But um, are you hungry? I think it’s been a long day…let’s go and eat something…it’s on me” Seungcheol said and stood up, I had to say this man was huge yet he was starting to show the sweet side of him.

“Oh sure yes…” I said politely, I really couldn’t say no I was starving.

-restruant-

Later we arrived at the restaurant and it was fancier than I thought. I had already seen myself in a fast food restaurant, I seemed to have forgotten that I was eating with Mr. Choi Seungcheol. He didn’t seem to eat fast food.

looking at the menu I started to panic, the prices were so high! I heard Seungcheol chuckle and I looked at him.

“Pick anything you want, I told you to not worry about paying” he said with a small smile on his face.

“Seungcheol the cheapest thing on here is sushi and it’s not even that cheap!” I whispered yelled making him smile wider and my eyes went wide.

He had such a pretty smile, one that I had never seen in him. He seemed to notice and quickly went back to his serious face.

“No, I…sorry you have a pretty smile sir” I said shyly as he took a sip of his wine.

“I’m flattered Miss Y/n” he replied with a gentle smile making me giggle.

“Oh and sir, I’m sorry if I was the one to ruin the opportunity you had…it was probably worth millions—” I said, bringing up the event from earlier. He gently raised his hand and stopped me.

“No…please…forget about it Y/n…um I guess taking you to lunch can be an apology for that man…” he said softly to me. “So what are you going to order?” he added as his eyes sparkled.

“um the chicken parmesan something ?” I said, trying to read the name making him chuckle again but he quickly stopped.

Lunch went by amazingly. We talked about embarrassing moments at work and in our childhood. We also got a bit into our personal lives. I was starting to feel comfortable with him, I felt like you could tell him anything and he would keep it. He gave me that security.

“…so yeah my parents are divorced and my relationship with my father is bad…like I told you yesterday” he recalled and I nodded while listening to him.

“Everything has to be perfect for him and well I inherited the company from him and he taught me all the way through, making me into “arrogant and stupid boss "" he said and I quickly covered my face in embarrassment.

“No sir, I didn’t mean it like that…um I was immature and well you gave that impression I mean— well about your father?” I said, trying to avoid talking about my opinion on him.

“Well the thing is…I guess my father taught me the cold and arrogant mindset you know? I lost some friends when I entered the company and drowned myself with work, and the only one that stood on with me was Jeonghan…and I think it also affected my…love life” he said and the last few words made me stop chewing swallowing hard.

“Did your father make you break-up with your girlfriend?” I asked, feeling curious and he shook his head.

“N-not exactly, I couldn’t let her see my true self and now she has this impression of me” he said softly and I had a feeling in my gut of what he might be trying to say. I opened my mouth to ask a reassuring question but my phone went off.

Incoming call…

Vernon 😎

“Oh I’m sorry…do you mind if I take this?” I asked softly. Seung Cheol's expression had changed into a neutral tone and just hummed, I bowed my head and slightly turned.

“Hi Vernon! What’s up!?” I asked with a happy voice smiling.

“Hey! Can we have our movie date tonight?” he asked, chuckling while I playfully rolled my eyes.

“It’s not a date Vernon, but yes we can, I'll see you around 8?” I asked him and he agreed and I hung up, turning back to Seung Cheol. He was quiet and now looking towards the group of guys playing the music.

“Um sorry sir, he calls at the worst times” I said giggling and he looked at me.

“It’s fine, he’s your... boyfriend it seems…” he mumbled coldly and I bit my lower lip gently. Thinking to myself that the old Seungcheol was back.

“Um no no…we’re just friends, he’s not really my type” I said softly shrugging my shoulders shyly.

Seungcheol looked at me, realizing that I was telling the truth. And it was, I was not interested in anyone right now. Vernon was my childhood friend and he was a bit clingy. My past experiences with men weren’t as good.

“hm then what’s your type Miss Y/n?” he questioned me and goosebumps spread throughout my body.

“oh well I think I go for the mysterious and quiet guys that turn out to be the sweetest, I like puffy long hair, um he should be tall, but the outside doesn’t really matter as long as he truly loves me and cares for me” I said smiling blushing lightly looking down.

“hm I can probably qualify on some of them…” Seungcheol said leaving me with my eyes wide open. He should really stop this, I still had that grudge against him but how he was behaving was turning him into my type.

Bonus Part!

Seungcheol’s POV

My body froze from the sudden warm touch of her hand grabbing mine. Her worried face looked so adorable on her I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself seeing her running to the meeting room. 

I placed my hands in my pockets still having the sensation of her hand on mine, a good sensation. 

I had never felt this warm before, she is a ray of sunshine to my cloudy days. She still panics when she makes a small mistake. I guess she is still scared of me I can’t forget the time I underestimated her abilities, she’s an amazing assistant. Not only in conducting my schedule appropriately, always punctual but to assist me in a way of honest company. Though I don’t think she notices. But my thoughts vanished when I heard yelling (her yelling) from the meeting room. 

“... I don’t care if you’re Mr. Rich, Damn millionaire or whatever you are! You are a pervert and I know that you are married, you are disgusting!” I was standing by the door with shock spread all over my face. I had never seen Y/n this angry, she had a good reason though. 

She got silent as soon as she saw me and made her way to me, apologized and left. I cleared my throat and made my way to the front, closing the door.

“What happened here?” I asked coldly looking around before stopping looking at Mr. KIm with a death stare.

“You should pick better assistants Mr. Choi, I get that she is really attractive but don’t just pick any girl to take her to bed” he said, not even feeling any shame. I scoffed quietly before leaning on the table on my hands. 

"you are mistaken Mr. Kim she isn't just any girl...she is my trusted assistant and I ask you to respect her," I said coldly and he rolled his eyes.

"You're kidding huh?" he asked me starting to raise his voice but I stayed calm and looking at him without expression. "I don't joke around at work Mr. Kim, consider our deal off" I said and he stood up.

"You have no idea who you are dealing with!" he yelled at me and I checked my watch. "yes I am dealing a pervert, for that reason I would hate to work with you. This better be a good lesson for you to not mess with Y/n, I care for her and I will not let anyone disrespect her" I said coldly, his face was full of anger as he took the folder throwing it at me. I sighed before turning to Jeonghan as Mr. Kim kept arguing.

"Jeonghan, send a message to all of our partners to cut business with Mr. Kim, make sure you include the reason, have a good day Mr. Kim" I said and he kept yelling before walking out shouting profanities.

I sighed and pushed my hair back frustrated, Jeonghan looked at me.

"You did good, he was being an ass to her" he told me softly and I nodded.

"I know, I will never let anyone hurt her..." I said and made my way out of the room and into my office slamming the door. Face palming myself.

"Fuck, Seung Cheol, you're falling for your assistant"

To be continued...

Sweet Truth - Part I

Taglist

@lol6sposts

(Taglist is open! Request to be added!)

[writing-rat]

Tattoo Talks

Pairings: Sammy x Joey

Content: Fluff, talk of tattoos, Joey needs a hug

Summary: Joey asks about Sammy's tattoos when she is on lunch break. Sammy is happy to tell.

WC: 970

It had been months after both the girls survived Abigail’s rampage and both were as scarred as each other so they were living together, Caleb also being with them. Caleb was close to his mom once again and his new step-mom too. It was a family come true… plus he liked her tattoos. The women were currently doing their own thing. Joey was looking for jobs, but she was struggling immensely due to the fact that she was discharged for stealing drugs from the military. Sammy meanwhile had managed to get a job as a software designer and an ethical hacker too, making sure that companies were safe from potential hacks. Sammy was happy paying for the rent and everything but Joey also wanted to be independent, Sammy knew that. She was nothing but supportive of her girlfriend. 

After an hour, Joey closed the computer lid gently before punching the counter. “What did we say about punching walls or counters?” Sammy immediately called into the kitchen from the living room that was connected. 

“Not to do it, sorry baby,” Joey called back apologetically. She was ashamed she let her anger get to her. 

“It’s ok. Just take a breather,” Sammy replied. 

“Want a cup of coffee?” Joey asked, peeking into the living room where Sammy was. She was wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a tank top that definitely belonged to Joey. 

“Yes please, you know how I like it,” Sammy responded with a smile and looked at her wife. Joey nodded as she went back into the kitchen to make it.

5 minutes later she was out and sat down next to Sammy, who started to yawn and saved her code. It was nearly lunchtime at least for Sammy, having her break at 12 and it was currently 11:56. “You’ll get a job soon baby, I know it,” Sammy spoke quietly. “For now you can be a good housewife,” she joked. Joey couldn’t help but laugh as she kissed the blonde and leaned into her, focusing on her tattoos again. 

“I am not meant to be a housewife,” Joey chuckled. “Plus you clean more than me,” she added with a grin. Sammy nodded as she leaned back and wrapped an arm around the mother. 

“That’s true. Very true. I love you, babe,” Sammy responded. 

“I love you too,” Joey spoke before kissing the woman. The younger woman kissed back immediately as she smiled. That was when Joey couldn’t help but ask something. 

“Can you explain your tattoos to me? We aren’t on the job after all now,” Joey teased. 

“Very true. Glad you asked,” Sammy grinned. She hoped Joey would ask eventually and she did. She had seen the MILF stare at them a lot. “The dragon is a representation of the anger inside me. Especially when I’m on my period as you know. When I look at it, I calm down immensely,” Sammy spoke, showing the dragon off. Joey was listening intently and staring at the tattoos she talked about. “My hand tattoos that say Fuck Mom was done when I was annoyed at my family. I still am but the bond is regrowing now. I just need to hide my hands when we meet,” Sammy joked. Ever since the incident with Abigail, Sammy had been trying to talk to her parents, and try and be a good child. It was going well so far. Sammy soon pointed to the hearts on her shoulder. “These are for the 2 pet cats I lost. All died of old age,” she spoke. Joey just nodded, patting her shoulder.

After a quick break of 4 minutes, both drinking their coffee, Sammy continued. She pointed to the alien. “The alien one was when I was 18 and believed in aliens. I still do, to be honest,” Sammy chuckled. “The spider is for me being able to beat my fear of them. I used to panic but now they’re friends,” she grinned. She was still proud of herself. “This cross from a bet. It was a stupid bet but we don’t care about that,” Sammy laughed. Joey grinned. 

“Think of it as a commemoration for living a vampire,” Joey offered. Sammy clicked her fingers. 

“I love that idea,” she spoke and kissed Joey. “It’ll be that now.” She pointed to the face with barbed wire for teeth (or Joey assumed). “This was my first tattoo my friend did. We just did it when I was high and yeah…” Sammy explained ashamed. Joey shrugged. 

“It has a cool design,” Joey complimented it. 

“Thank you,” Sammy spoke happily. She then lifted her arm, showing the one that was a ball from snooker or bingo and it had the number 8. “8 is my lucky number as you know, and I like playing snooker so it was perfect,” she explained. She pointed to the back of her shoulder. “There I have a tree tattoo. I am continuously growing in different ways, just like a tree,” she spoke. That was all the tattoos she had now. 

“Do you plan on getting more? One arm looks very empty after all,” Joey joked. Sammy laughed and nodded. 

“I was thinking of getting a sun one. Gives a new meaning to life, especially after Abigail,” Sammy explained. Joey nodded. “And I was wondering if we could get a matching one, you and me. Stakes that say each other name,” Sammy explained. Joey was shocked before she nodded. 

“We can do that,” Joey spoke. She didn’t have any tattoos but she would get one for Sammy, she would do anything for her. As the lunch break for Sammy went on, the 2 continued to talk about whatever, mostly the matching tattoo. 

Both were still alive, and they would commemorate a tattoo of it. They had to, it was fate.

[seductive-snail]

Moonwater Propaganda pt 2

wrote a little microfic for the darling @mo0n-water (Happy Birthday <33)

Remus Lupin had no intention of spending the night on the astronomy tower with Sirius' younger brother. In fact he had no intention of being up there at all that night.

It had been a particularly exhausting day. Two nights after his latest transformation and he'd still been struggling to recover and it didn't help that he'd quite literally told all his friends to "fuck off" and being the understanding people they were, they did, (the idiots).

So there he was leaning on the railing of the astronomy tower, under the pretence of finishing his star chart, his books and quills scattered on the ground, gazing up at the stars and not really thinking about anything, but somehow still thinking of everything.

It was lucky it was such a warm night, lucky that the waning moon was shining so bright, lucky that years of sneaking around with his friends had made him alert.

For if he'd even been spooked the slightest by the boy who'd just stepped out of the shadows, he'd surely have toppled off the ledge and into the darkness.

"Hello..." he turned to survey the boy. He recognised the features on his face almost immediately, his cold grey eyes the mirror of his brothers, and though they were significantly shorter than the waves that fell from Sirius' face, his dark curls matched his brothers perfectly.

Regulus continued to stare at him, and for a second Remus considered just leaving the boy be, but then he spoke, "You're his friend."

Remus shrugged. He decided not to notice the way Regulus had emphasised the "his". He knew too well about the things Sirius had gone through, but he wasn't going to hold it against the boy. Sirius had been through hell, but somehow his grey eyes had the brightest of look to them, so different from the coldness in his brothers. He could tell they had handled it differently. They were so different.

"How did you hear me?"

Remus almost didn't hear him say this, it was barely a whisper.

"I don't know. I just knew I wasn't alone."

This wasn't entirely true. Yes he knew he wasn't alone, but he didn't necessarily know it was a person. He'd only spotted the black cat when he'd placed his books on the ground, deciding to pay it no mind. Now looking around, said cat was no where to be found, and it didn't take much for him to put two and two together.

A Black cat and a Black dog. He almost let out a chuckle.

"Would you like to join me?"

Remus half expected Regulus not to respond, or outright refuse and walk away, yet he walked over to stand beside him, placing his hands on rigidly on the railing as if not sure where to place them.

Remus turned to look at him, dropping down, before inviting him to do the same. He did so, still not meeting his eyes but not running from them either.

"Are you going to tell anyone what I am?" he whispered. The short haired boy was now turning to look at him, he had a kind of guarded expression, there was a hint of fear in his eyes, but he still looked prepared to hex him if needed.

Remus tilted his head, "I don't have any reason to, it's not that big of a deal is it? Being an animagus?"

It was Regulus' turn to tilt his head, he opened his mouth to say something before seemingly choosing to remain silent.

"I can keep secrets, Regulus." Remus whispered.

Regulus seemed to start at the mention of his name, Remus didn't know why, but again said nothing of it. He wasn't going to force anything out of him. It was his choice.

So they sat there in calm silence, not speaking, 'til the next thing they knew the sun was rising, waking them up to the realisation that they'd fallen asleep next to eachother.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wow i did that. I had writers block today but anything for moonwater guys anythinggg

[femmefatale-tales]

Batman?

Bucky Barnes x f!reader

Summary: Reader and Bucky meet for the first time.

Author’s note: reader is not described as pale or black nor is she described thin or thic. Anyone can read this.

Warnings: fluff? Reader is funny and witty, bucky is broody and grump but turns a softie at the end. Banter like funny banter. Also kinda annoying reader I mean for Bucky.

I am sooo sorry if this is trash cause this is my first fanfic like ever also please tell me if it was funny or not. Lol

I walk to the hall in the compound to get some coffee, actually correction, my 6th cup of coffee of the day. I mean it is a addiction and I don’t deny it but something has to be wrong with me, i can’t just be perfect. Though I do think Lorelai Gilmore is perfect and she drinks coffee. Maybe I am perfect. Someone clears their throat which isn’t me so I look up.

I see a tall man, must be 6’0 foot something, wearing a tight black T-shirt that is evidently small for him, he has the most perfect blue eyes and is actually one of the most handsome man I’ve ever seen and I say this just after seeing a Cillian Murphy movie so you bet I’m serious.

I instead of saying a good “hey” or “hello” ask “are you batman?” Which could be possible, I mean he looks like him with his broody expression.

He looks confused or angry, I can’t really tell. See he’s showing signs of being batman.

I just keep looking at him. “Are you serious?” He asks surprised.

I simply nod.

“ what makes you say that?” He questioned somewhat amused.

“I don’t even say this stupidly, I live with avengers so the fact that you could be batman seems possible to me and you have an expression that says you hate everyone, you’re wearing everything black, and you’re tall, almost all qualities of him are present to be true” I rant.

“I’m not batman. You don’t know me?” He mumbled.

“ No, but you do look familiar. Sorry I have a bad memory, and sometimes I just forget stuff because I didn’t pay attention because I didn’t want to and then I have to remember it since it turns out to be important and-” I keep talking until he cuts me off

“ You talk a lot, do you ever shut up?” He ask obviously agitated.

“I don’t really but only sometimes if it’s really important or if nat or Steve make me. Oh and when I’m sleeping but I would’ve know that actually because I’ll be the one sleeping” i continue to annoy him further.

“Shut up” He looks kinda like he’s teasing but it’s hard to tell.

“Why should-” he interrupts again.

“Okay that’s enough, and now you can stop talking” he groans.

“Wow rude much, grinch” he rolls his eyes at the comment.

Almost 30 seconds pass by and both of us stay silent but i of-course couldn’t just shut up cause where’s the fun in that so I started again.

“Does the serum give you extra stamina during sexy times?” I ask curiously breaking the silence.

“Oh my god, are you- can you not shut up for some time??” He speaks his frown too evident one his face.

I keep staring at him waiting for the answer.

“ Okay that’s it. Are you serious? You’re really asking that question ??” He says amused yet annoyed at the same time.

I just looking at him as if it’s not obvious that I was serious.

After 10 seconds of Bucky just staring at me he finally says “ It does”

“ Wait,So you know who I am” he stats.

“ oh yeah, I figured that out when you were asking if I always talk so much” I say casually.

“You want coffee?” I say going to the kitchen counter.

He looks at me surprised and chuckles saying “sure”.

“You always offer coffee to dangerous people you don’t know?” He asks smugly.

“Yes and no. See I know you, I might have forgot but it’s only because I just saw a dilf’s movies” I say giving him the coffee.

“What’s a dilf?” He questions.

“You but I doubt you have kids” I giggle.

“I don’t even wanna know what you meant by that” he stats.

“ What’s your zodiac sign?” I ask him trying to sit on the counter but it’s a bit too high tbh.

He comes in front of me seeing my struggle and holds my waist ,hoists me up on the counter. His hands are a bit cold but they send a warmth through my body which I don’t really notice until he takes his place on the chair in front of the counter again.

“ I don’t know, Sam told me about them but I don’t know mine” he shrugs.

“Oh okay just tell me your birthday” I tell him

“March 10”

“Oh so you’re a pieces which is weird because you’re looks could give you away as a Scorpio” I say surprised.

“Okay…, that’s some useless information to me but whatever” he speaks

“ I mean it is useless but it’s fun sometimes” I say

“Anyways, what’s you’re name?” He asks

“Oh yeah I haven’t told you a that yet, it’s Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Pretty name” he says looking up at me.

“Ohh thank you, you have pretty name too actually , I really like James. I’m gonna call you James from now on actually” I say feeling a bit flustered from the compliment.

“Ofcourse you can ,great of you to ask, you know” he sarcastically replied

I just give him a cheeky smile and finish my coffee. I jump down on the floor and put my cup in the sink.

“Okay babe, now I’m gonna go and take a shower, we’ll meet later” I speak turning on my heels to the exit.

He chuckles at the nickname and shakes his head waving a bye in direction.

“Bye batman” I shout as I disappear in the elevator.

Leaving bucky smiling to himself.

[the-vast-corner-of-the-galaxy]

KW 2024- Day 1: Cultural Exchange

Here is my short story for Day 1 of Kataang Week hosted by @kataang-week !!

Day 1: Cultural Exchange/Culture Sharing/Revival of Traditions - Monday, July 29th

Summary: Katara has always wondered how the Airbenders’ tattoos would look on her.

Rating: General Audiences

Word Count: 1.7 K

***

Every time Katara saw Aang training, she couldn’t help but look at the Cerulean blue arrow tattoos on his body. There was something about them that she found pleasure in looking at. When she first met him, she did not pay much attention to them, up until she saw the airbender in the Avatar state. She still remembers how the arrows glowed with the white light. They made Aang look way more intimidating than he already was in the Avatar state. 

Katara always had a keen liking to all shades of blue or green, but her favorite color or all time was Cerulean blue. She always thought she looked better in Cerulean blue than in any other color. Besides that, however, this color was personal to her: It reminded her of the oceans she saw while crossing the world with Aang and Sokka; the beaches she visited in the Earth Kingdom; and even of her own mother, whose eyes were a lighter shade of Cerulean blue. All of these were heartwarming memories to her, and now that she was with Aang, the color reminded her of him, of his heartwarming personality, his courage, his endurance, and his kind heart. 

Sometimes, Katara wondered how the Cerulean blue arrows would look on her body. Even if she was not an Airbender, the color was the one thing stuck on her mind for long period of time. Aang had explained to her that the Airbenders who reached the rank of master got the tattoos, or when an airbender invented a new skill with airbending, which was Aang’s case. Of course, Katara knew that there was no way in getting those markings on her body. 

As Katara was trying some waterbending forms in the pond, she constantly thought on how the markings of the airbenders would look on her, making her look disconnected from reality. Aang was practicing his airbending on the other side of the garden, and when he noticed Katara’s inattentiveness, he walked up to her.

“Katara?” asked Aang with a tone of concern. “Is everything alright?” 

“Hey, Aang,” she greeted, looking at the tattoos on his hands. “Everything is okay, I just lost focus for a little while.”

Aang was not very convinced about Katara’s answer, and could easily tell she was feeling uneasy. He always wanted Katara to be alright, for he dearly cared for her. However, sometimes Katara struggled to express her true feelings, so he knew he had to tread carefully in order to let it all out. 

“Um… okay. If you need anything, I am always here!” replied Aang, trying to get back to his airbending training. Katara went back to focusing on her waterbending, but her mind still lingered on the beautiful cerulean blue arrows. She didn’t know how to ask Aang about them, much less getting the tattoos on her body. She felt… embarrassed to ask, even if Aang wasn’t the person to not share his cultural heritage and customs. 

“Hey, Aang?” she called. Aang went up to her, wondering what she wanted to ask. 

“Yes?” he asked. “What is it?”

“I was just thinking about your tattoos,” said Katara hesitantly, holding Aang’s hand, “There is something curious about them…”

Aang raised an eyebrow with confusion, but didn’t let his hand go off Katara’s hands. He loved it when Katara held his hand, and he could stay like that for whoever knows how long. 

“What’s curious about the arrows?” asked Aang, still confused. 

“I… I just really like the color of them. It’s a really nice shade of blue,” Katara lied, still unsure of how to break her question to Aang.

Aang looked at the arrow tattoo on his hands, not exactly sure about what Katara was seeing in them. They were a decent color, but he still preferred shades of yellow and magenta, like a sunset. Aang also liked the color blue, but it wasn’t his favorite, except for Katara’s eyes, which he thought were gorgeous. 

“I… I guess they are nice,” replied Aang, not really sure where this conversation was going. “What do you see that is so special about them?” 

“Well,” said Katara, knowing that there was no escaping the conversation. “This is going to be embarrasing to ask… but…” Katara’s cheeks were turning slightly red, and Aang was still confused about what she was going to even ask. 

“Um… what is it?” asked Aang, gently. That’s when the realization hit him. Katara has recently been staring at the arrows in his head and arms for days, and sometimes, she would ask how he got them, even if she had asked previously a few times. She would sometimes talk about how her favorite color was cerulean blue and how it suited her. Aang realized that Katara wanted the arrows to be painted on her body. 

“You want me to paint the arrows on you, right?” Aang asked, holding Katara’s other hand with his free hand. 

“Well… yes,” Katara finally admitted. “I know you only get them by being an airbending master, but they are intriguing and I just wanted to know how-”

Before Katara finished her sentence, Aang’s excitement bolted to the skies. He loved the idea of painting the tattoos on her body. He’s never painted airbending tattoos on anyone, but he has seen it, and it looked fun, even if the original process was a bit painful. 

“I’ll paint them for you!” Aang exclaimed. “Why didn’t you ask earlier, sweetie?” 

“Well…” Katara replied, “I was… slightly embarrassed since the arrow tattoos belong to the airbending masters, and I am neither an airbender, or an airbending master-”

“Well, technically you are a waterbending master,” Aang interrupted. “But, I will still do them for you! We just need to get body paint somewhere, and a brush!” 

“Really?” Katara asked excitedly. “Thank you so much, sweetie!” She pecked Aang’s lips and gave him a hug. “Let’s go get the bodypaint! We’ll probably find it in one of the makeup stores.”

After some more training, Katara and Aang left the Avatar residence and happily walked together through the streets of the Upper Ring of Ba Sing Se. They browsed through different stores that sold all makeup products. It was a slightly hard task to find the right shade of cerulean blue at first. However, after some hours, they found a smaller makeup shop that had all shades of bodypaint displayed on its shelves. 

“Hello, Avatar,” greeted the owner of the shop. The owner was a lady who was probably Iroh’s age, and dressed in traditional Earth kingdom attire. “What can I get for you?”

“Hi! We were just looking for cerulean blue body paint, and makeup brushes,” replied Aang. 

“Oh! I think I might have the shade you are looking for! Let me get it for you.” said the owner, opening a back door behind the counter. After a few minutes, she came with some brushes and a large flask of cerulean blue body paint. It was the exact same shade as Aang’s arrows, but slightly brighter. Katara was marvelled when she saw the color. They paid the owner of the shop and left, returning to the Avatar residence. 

When they got there, Aang and Katara sat down in the main room with the brushes and the paint. Katara cleaned her arms and face so that the body paint stuck to her skin properly, while Aang prepared the paint. 

“Are you ready?” asked Aang, holding the brush in his hand. Katara happily nodded, and Aang got to work on her forehead first. He outlined a large arrow on her forehead with one brush, and filled it with color with another. The paint dried quickly, so Aang got to paint the arrow fairly quickly. He occasionally kissed Katara’s cheeks while doing it, making her giggle. 

Once Aang was finished with the first arrow, he stared at Katara for a bit too long, stunned with her beauty. Her eyes seemed to glisten with the arrow above her forehead, making her look even prettier than before.  

“Aang?” Katara asked, looking at the airbender, who was gaping at the sight. “Are you okay?”

Aang returned to reality, and his cheeks turned a bright pink. “It’s just that… you look beautiful, Katara.” The waterbender blushed and smiled at Aang. Aang then went to her right side to begin painting her arm. Katara rolled the sleeves of her waterbending attire so that Aang could easily paint her arm. The strokes of the brushes relaxed Katara and made her slightly sleepy. 

“You’re falling asleep!” Aang teased dearly.

“It’s really relaxing!” Katara replied. “Weren’t you relaxed when you got your arrows tattooed on your body?”

“Well, no,” Aang said. “The real process uses permanent ink and a few needles. It’s actually quite painful.”

“Oh,” said Katara with unease. Aang must’ve been in extreme pain when he got the tattoos, which explained why he was not a fan of using sharp objects. 

“I still need to do your left arm,” said Aang, returning his focus to Katara. He quickly finished painting the arrow on Katara’s right hand and moved to her left side, cradling her left arm and outlining the design of the arrow. Katara was glad that Aang agreed with painting the arrows on her, and she felt even more connected to him, to his culture. She loved exploring different cultures, and respecting their customs. This was a very special custom to her, especially since it reminded her of the Water Tribe’s markings that would be obtained over the years. 

Once Aang finished her arms, she looked at the arrows painted on them. They were beautifully outlined and illustrated. The color that Aang used was gorgeous, and she was obsessed with it. 

“Aang, they are beautiful!” Katara exclaimed. She went to the nearest mirror in the room and looked at her painted face and arms. Katara never got any significant or large markings on her body ever, but she loved the arrows that were on her arms and face. She felt completely connected to Aang’s culture, even if she was not an airbender herself. 

“I am glad you like them!” Aang chimed in, wrapping his arms around Katara’s waist from behind. She smiled at the image in front of her, and felt how her bond with Aang grew. The airbender also felt his heart become warmer as they both stared at the mirror. 

“Thank you, Aang,” Katara whispered, turning around. “Thank you for everything.” She pressed her lips against Aang’s and kissed him with gentleness and compassion. The Avatar wrapped his arms around her waist and happily took the kiss in, savoring the moment. 

[gffa]

Hi!  I'm not sure how much help I'm going to be because my view of the sequel trilogy lives in kind of a nebulous space, where I really like the characters and I actually like a lot of the potential of the storyline, but I dislike TFA, greatly dislike TLJ, and was actually pretty okay with TROS all things considered. I don't want to dig too deep into the negativity of my feelings but they're basically - TFA was too much of a repainting of ANH for me, the initial shine of it was through its potential, but when that didn't pay off in the other movies, the shine came off TFA, too. - TLJ was set too close to TFA, Finn's character should have been tied into the Canto Bight plot (which was exhausting as it was), as a stolen child soldier he has the most reason to hate the rich, but absolutely nothing was done with him, Luke being on that island for that long was out of character for him, Rey's entire story became wrapped up in Kylo Ren, neither of those characters had nearly enough connections with others despite having very good reasons to, like why do we not spend more time on Luke & Kylo?? and it played at being subversive but it absolutely was not, it's all been done before (and I really hated the way Force abilities worked in the movie) and killing off your main villain in the second act was a baffling decision - TROS' biggest problem is that it should have been two movies instead of one, it was a series of trailers rather than a story with breathing room, and it suffered the most from the lack of planning + the main villain being killed off in the second movie But here's why I still like The Rise of Skywalker the best:  The bones of what's there are a pretty good Star Wars story!  Yes, Rey Palpatine came out of nowhere and was very silly, but if you can't handle silly, I don't know how you can make it as a Star Wars fan, it's such a silly franchise! I'm not afraid to love a scene I laugh out loud at--and, yeah, I laughed RIGHT OUT LOUD the first time Kylo dramatically said, "You're a Palpatine."  I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes and let me tell you, I fucking LOVE that scene now. Or how the last words of any Skywalker, the last word Ben Solo/Kylo Ren ever says in the movies' franchise is, "Ow."  I am laughing RIGHT NOW, please, p l e a s e, that is so on-brand, I can't handle it, it's too funny. But I also like the basic storyline because Rey's story in TROS is her struggling with her own inner darkness, that she feels there's something dark in her soul because she's Palpatine's granddaughter.  The movie isn't saying that's true, but that Rey struggles with thinking it's true, and she has to wrestle with her dark side, just like every Jedi before her has as they're coming into their power. Anakin wrestled with his dark side and lost in Attack of the Clones and even worse in Revenge of the Sith. Luke wrestled with his dark side in the vision he sees of himself in Vader's helmet in the cave in ESB and in the climactic scene of ROTJ, where he nearly hacks his father's arm off in rage after his sister and friends are threatened.  He has to claw his way back out of that. Ezra Bridger struggles with the dark side in Rebels as he comes into his power and he has to claw his way out of it as well. Rey has to struggle with her own lure towards the dark side as she comes into her power--she rips a ship apart in the sky because she was so determined that Chewie was hers, she was so angry at Kylo that Force lightning burst out of her.  She's seeing Sith visions of herself on the wreckage of the Death Star.  This is a theme that has been there since the very beginning, that Jedi have to struggle through a temptation to the dark, and her relation to Palpatine preys on that. That's kind of why I wound up loving Ben's scene with Han as well, because that was an entirely imagined scene, but it represents that the way the Force works, you have to dig yourself out of the hole you're in, that Ben using the memory of his father, the last moments of connection he had with his mother, to pull himself out of the dark, really worked for me.  And I'm okay with his death, because this is Star Wars, people die before they should all the time. I even liked the political message of the final movie, yes, Rey vs Palpatine was the big Jedi vs Sith showdown, but the main galactic battle?  Had people showing up.  Just... people.  One of the themes I've talked a lot about, especially because The Clone Wars kind of has it as a running theme is that the average galactic citizen doesn't do jack shit about the state of the galaxy they live in.  The Rebellion had people starting to stand up, but it was an organized effort, it recruited people. TROS had just people showing up, that Leia and the Resistance had been trying to rally the cause, but ultimately it was the galactic public finally, finally saying, "We have to stand up and fight for ourselves, not depend on other people to do it."  Was it ham-fisted and not nearly as polished as it should have been?  Oh, no doubt.  But the message.  Just people showing up to fight against the First Order that was trying to bring back the Empire.  That meant a lot to me. And I loved Luke's character here, that he admitted when he was wrong, and gave us that banger line that's spot on:  "Confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi."  Yes.  Yes.  FUCKING YES.  LUKE SKYWALKER AND JEDI PHILOSOPHY.  MY HEART.  Nailed it. Does this movie hang together as well as it should?  Absolutely not.  It needed a stronger writer, it needed more time than it got, and it needed better build-up.  But the bones of what was there were actually pretty good and, man, any movie that has Daisy Ridley in that white outfit with the hood where she looked practically ethereal cannot be all bad, in my opinion.

[taito-division]

ARB Birthday Special: Azusa Furukawa

~~ June 11th ~~

"Think lightly of yourself and deeply of the world."

Login Lines:

"...Hmm? Oh, I'm terribly sorry. My apologies, but when I'm meditating, I tend to forget the world around me. Is there something I can help you with? ...Hmm, what's this? A... present?"

"...For my birthday? ...Oh. Oh! That's... correct. Today is June 11th, the day of my birth. ...I... thank you. Thank you for both the present and for reminding me. I truly appreciate it."

Voice Lines:

"I was unaware that today was my birthday, but apparently, the good people of Taitō didn't. Many people have personally come to the dojo to wish me a 'happy birthday'. I've frequently told them that that is not necessary, not the least because I'm not good with interaction. *Sighs* I really wish I wasn't so shy sometimes..."

"My students threw me a little surprise party in the dojo for my birthday. It was really surprising, but also very sweet! I'm... I'm really glad that despite the dojo not doing well, they still have stuck by me through thick and thin. It's truly appreciative. I'm extremely grateful for every last one of them. Thank you all."

"My father was well enough to sit up and walk around today. He told me that today wasn't the day for him to be lying in bed. I told him to take it easy, but he wouldn't listen and insisted on being allowed to move about. 'Today is the day of my daughter's birth!' he said. 'I'll not let my body deter me from being allowed to celebrate it!' *Sighs* He's so stubborn..."

"Fleuret-san. It is good to see you. ...Thank you for the birthday wish, my friend. It is truly appreciative. ...The dojo is... persevering. I've managed to pay a little bit of its debt off. And before you ask, no I cannot accept any money from you. I'm sorry, but as I stated before, this burden is mine, but thank you, nonetheless. ...Thank you, Fleuret-san. I appreciate it, really."

"So, what did you bequeath me on this day? ...Oh. A... painting? Is... that Tomoe Gozen? ...Oh my. Thank you so much, Fleuret-san. I will be sure to hang this in my bedroom. ...Thank you, my friend. I really appreciate it."

"Hello, Eldrid-san. I'm glad to see you. ...Thank you for the birthday wishes. They mean a lot. ...My father is fine. He felt good enough to walk around, despite my advice that he shouldn't. ...Haha. True enough. So, what did you happen to give me on today? ...Ah, some wind chimes. ...Yes, the ones hanging outside were getting old and falling apart. Thank you, Eldrid-san for this. It is very much appreciative."

Fleuret Lines:

"A most joyous happy birthday to you, Azusa-san. I hope it is going well for you. ...It is fine. But how are you doing? And more important, how is the dojo? You know that I can loan you some money. It is no trouble. *Sighs* ...Very well, my friend. But please, if you are struggling, do not hesitate to ask for help. ...You are welcome, Azusa-san."

"Now then, here is my gift to you. ...It is Tomoe Gozen, the famous female Samurai, or at least my depiction of her. ...Thank you very much, Azusa-san. I spent a while making sure it was good enough to show, but I am glad you like it. ...You are welcome, my friend. Again, happy birthday."

Eldrid Lines:

"What up, Azusa? Happy birthday to you. ...No problem. Glad to see you're doing well. Speaking of which, how's your old man? ...Well, he's stubborn like that, a trait I can admire, believe it or not. ...Ha, whatever! Anyway, here. I noticed your old wind chimes were going bad, so I decided to get you some new ones. I hope you like them. ...No problem, Azusa. Happy birthday again!"

[chaikachi]

I HAVE ONE OBJECTION TO YOUR OTHERWISE STELLAR META ON THE DOJO SCENE/RUBY'S BREAKDOWN!

I would say as of recent there is now one other character *besides* Oscar who takes notice of how much Ruby is struggling and breaking, who uplifts and comforts her without placing any expectations on her in the process... That of course being Little.

The only one still with Ruby. (*gestures to Little being framed in Jinxy's jar of hope that Ruby can't fill all the way, because Little is meant to represent the last spark of Ruby's hope and inner child*)

I don't think they'll have the perfect wise or uplifting words to say to Ruby (and I'm not sure she'd want to hear them right now anyway, she just needs to feel what she's feeling and let the rain pour, metaphorically and literally). But I imagine if Ruby asks them why Little is still with her, why don't they just leave her alone, and Little saying that they just want to be there for Ruby because she's sad, and because Ruby is their friend, and they don't know what else they can do for her. And that's all. And then Ruby will cry and I'll cry and we all will cry.

Also this ask may just be an excuse to share a headcanon I have, of if Little returns with Ruby to Remnant, that Oscar makes food for everyone to celebrate their return, and also gifts a tiny picnic basket especially for Little and says something like: "thank you for being Ruby's guide when she was feeling lost" because she was lost physically but also *felt* lost too and just. Little has taken on the purpose to be Ruby's guide, and I think that's going to apply in more ways than just helping her get back home.

YOU ARE SO TRUE!!! i was so caught up in the parallels and RG that I left our little friend behind 😭 Before I do get into it, do want to just acknowledge that what you mentioned about how Little might handle this is absolutely all that Ruby needs right now. I've seen some discussions around about people saying WBY haven't supported Ruby enough (valid, as are their reasons for not being able to) but the counter argument is often that they can't force her to dump about her trauma and it's like... no. Secret hidden third option. Just give her some time to rest, acknowledge how hard this is on her and how much this sucks without sugar coating it, and remind her that you're there to lean on if she needs it. I really hope that she gets that from Little in the coming episode(s).

BUT YES. SPEAKING OF LITTLE. YOU ARE CORRECT. They stuck by Ruby's side in the market when her team ran off and were paying such close attention to her after they first noticed how sad she was in the paper vilage.

It's hard to catch, but I'm also fairly certain Little is the first to call out to her when she starts hallucinating against the walker. It's timed just as Little jumps up and it's just ahhhhh. YOU'RE JUST A MOUSE!!! WHY ARE YOU BEING BRAVE AND PEEKING OUT OF HER HOOD RIGHT NOW!!!

We don't see them for the entire breakdown scene before it ends with a zoom in on this. Which is just... oof...

Also I know that Little is first and foremost supposed to be a symbol for Ruby's remaining spark of hope and inner child, the literal "Little" Riding in her Red Hood... but i can't get the parallels of that mouse to Oscar outta my brain. 💀

Cinder and Nora have both called Oscar 'little'. Little Prince. Oscar paid attention to Ruby back in v6 when she said "Food always makes me feel better" and so after her confrontation with Jaune, he went and made her a freaking casserole about it. And what is one of the first things Little does upon meeting Ruby? Offer to share their food with her when she's upset. And they, just like Oscar, were the only one paying attention enough to how hard of a time she was having.

EDIT: I am currently having a convo with someone else about this and oh my god

Ruby: I've never spoken to a... mouse before. Little: Well... I guess I've never spoken to a you before! - Oscar : I've never really meet huntsman and huntresses before... Ruby: Well, uh... we've never met a person with two souls! So first times all around!

I just!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS.

Lastly, your headcanon is adorable. Little absolutely deserves an entire picnic basket full of food and a very cozy bed after all of this, and both them and Oscar are fist-bumping through dimensions right now over their shared fondness for Ruby. 😤

[devilsprophet]

A screwed up kiss — Astor and Kohga of @mightiestbanana

"Easy, now...easy..."

Master Kohga didn't tend to curse in the time that Astor had known him, but there was quite the colorful display popping off from behind that mask, like a dog snarling against its chains—which was a fitting analogy indeed, considering the malice that forced Kogha in place before him, keeping his hands well apart and away from the weapon previously aimed at Astor's throat.

It was all, "You bastard this," and "We trusted you that," and a good old, "I'll make you pay," thrown in for good measure. Astor sighed and waited out Kohga's breath as he shouted all the different ways that he intended to kill the seer, and my, some were quite creative. It was almost admirable.

"What a passionate display of outrage, Master Kohga," Astor finally got a word in edge-wise once Kohga had exhausted himself (temporarily, at least) and leaned against the little folded camp side desk behind him. "I see my time is limited, so I'll cut to the chase—I've spoken to Lord Ganon on your behalf, and he's still interested in your potential. In you."

"I swear if you don't stop talking—"

"Listen. You are angry, I understand, but you are missing a very big point—"

"Fuck you—"

"Lord Ganon is interested in you, your abilities, your history—"

"Fuck you—"

"You could work directly with him and secure for yourself an incredibly unique position in this new world—this is what you wanted—"

"I want my Clan back, you son of a bitch!"

Another sigh, less patient this time. Astor strolled the threshold between them until he was crouched down before Kohga, who struggled against his restraints, supposedly to wrap his hands around the seers throat. Astor propped his elbow upon a knee and rested his chin on the back of his fingers as he stared the man down, waiting, waiting.

There was a break in Kogha's trashing, and that was when Astor spoke, "You are a greedy little thing, Master Kohga."

"Shut—"

"You want so much, and yet, there's so little you're willing to give in return. If you want power, if you want everything, then you must pay for it. I paid my dues. Now you've paid yours. And if you can play it smart, you will be rewarded for it."

"They weren't on the table—"

"Weren't they?"

The malice coiled tighter around Kohga until the man was unable to speak against the hiss of pain, and Astor took the silence for his own. "I told you this was a possibility, and you didn't stop. One of many futures, and this is the one we've wound up with. They weren't strong enough—easy," Astor commanded against Kohga's renewed struggle to reach him, "They weren't. If they had been, they would have killed the Princess and the Hero and they would still be here."

"I'm so sick of hearing your bullshit—"

"Master Kohga, I am telling you the truth, just as I did then. You willingly disregard it because it doesn't fit your preferred narrative—"

"Stop talking like you fucking know me—"

"I do know you," There's a whip to the words, and then, with a little pitch, Astor speaks in a fair rendition of Kohga's voice, "You see, Harbinger Ganon, I was merely infiltrating their ranks—" does that sound familiar? Bit of a novice, I know, but I did pick up a thing or two from our time together."

The heat from Kohga's glare radiated from behind his mask. Astor merely smiled.

"This is who you are. Deep down, we only care for ourselves. You would grovel at Lord Ganon's heel if he were here before you, because you know that you would not survive going against him. You only declare your intentions to kill me because you believe you can—which is probably true. Or would be, without Lord Ganon's aid." He glanced down to the malice constraints as though in emphasis.

"Why don't you let me go and we can find out?"

Golden eyes shot back up to Kohga with a hint of amusement. "No, I don't think I will."

"Coward."

"Kettle," Astor said, that smile never faltering. "I told you we were alike."

"And I told you—"

"That you're nothing like me, yes, I remember. The love of your friends and family prevails. Theatric as always. But the curtain is closed now," Astor tucked a finger beneath Kohga's mask and pulled up, "and it's time to see the man behind the colors and pomp."

Kohga twitched as though he wanted to attempt squirmming away, fruitless as it would be. But, unsurprisingly, it seemed his ego wouldn't allow for it, and instead he stayed perfectly still as his mask was lifted, revealing two red eyes burning with enough hatred to fuel blood-enduring curses of their own.

"And there he is," came Astor's murmur as he set the mask down beside them, cocking his head ever so slightly, "My. The things you could do with Lord Ganon's power. You could be a fearsome threat, indeed."

A smirk twisted into Kohga's cheeks. "Wouldn't end well for you. Maybe you're not so smart after all, tryin' to recruit the guy who wants you dead. So why not eliminate the threat? Ain't that your thing? Cut down anyone in your way, even your own team?"

Astor let out a muffled chuckle from deep in his throat. "I've wondered the same thing. I can't seem to decide whether you should live or die, my friend. Your death would be more convenient, but your life far, far more interesting."

"What can I say," Kohga spoke through a gritted grin, "I'm an entertainin' guy."

"Indeed," Astor shifted then, going to one knee while remaining propped on the other, waving a hand dismissively. "In any case, now that Lord Ganon has taken an interest, your life isn't mine to take—"

A loud, sharp laugh burst from Kohga's chest, head jerking back before he set Astor with another vile look. "As if you could."

A brow quirked on pale features, and Astor gestured to the malice once more. "I could. On my command, the malice could consume you. I assure you, even the Mighty Master Kohga would not survive."

Kohga gave a "tch," with his teeth and looked away with rolled eyes. There was a moment of quiet between them, putrid and mangled, before Astor forced Kohga's eyes back to him with a gentle pull of his chin.

"I don't know why you're fighting this so hard," he admitted, something curious in his eyes, "You don't enjoy prostrating yourself before the Princess. That little girl is the spawn of everything that took away your people's culture, and when they are done with you, they will discard you. Again. As they always have. Am I wrong, Master Kohga?"

In a moment of extraordinary rarity, it seemed Master Kohga would have nothing to say. Just as Astor was about to continue, however, the Yiga spoke, almost too quietly to hear. "It doesn't matter."

"Come again?"

"It doesn't matter," he repeated, louder, colder, "all that matters is them. I have to save what's left of my Clan, and if that means working with the Royal's to do it, fine."

"How noble of you," Astor's tone did not sound impressed. "So you don't want this at all, then? A place by Lord Ganon's side? The chance to be at the start of this new world? To be above everyone, even the Royal family and their blessed little light?"

"No—"

"Liar." The insult came casually as Astor's eyes peered down upon him. "You may be willing to sacrifice it for your precious little Clan, but you can not fool me, Master Kohga. You do still want this. You want everything."

This time, when the quiet grew between them, Kohga did not break it. He glared, sneered, balled his fists—but there wasn't a word of denial on his lips. Still holding his chin in hand, Astor reached forward to entangle his fingers in the back of Kohga's head, pulling strands and forcing him back.

"Greedy, greedy thing," Astor twisted the hair in his hold. "You just want it all, don't you?"

There was a twitch of Kohga's eye as he breathed and shifted, and it ignited a light in Astor's stare. The seer let out a soft, rumbled laughed.

"Even this?" He pulled the hair tighter and leaned in closer. "Even after everything, there's a part of you that still wants this?"

"You're the one getting up close and personal, three eyes." Kohga snapped back, but Astor knew all the little tell-tales of his body by that point, and they were betraying him at every turn. There was no response to his jab. Only a fresh twist of his hair and the ghost of a kiss before their lips melded in full, tasting of something bloody and drenched in the fermented sweetness of spoiled fruit.

For all the heat of his rage and hatred, Kohga did not jerk his head away.

Astor's fingers did not loosen their hold on black and white strands of hair even as their kiss came to a soft part. He paused against Kohga's lips and spoke into his breath, "I think I'd like to see you live, Master Kohga. I want to see just how long this takes."

"For what?" Came his reply, bitter but softened, seemingly dragged by something heavy. Astor's smile nudged up against his mouth.

"I believe you know."

He stood then, hands clasping behind his back as he turned his heel and began to walk away. "When you are ready, do let me know."

"Hey—hey! Three eyes! Hey! Get back here, you slimy bastard!"

Kohga's shouting continued long after Astor's back disappeared beyond the tents entrance, and it was sometime later that the malice finally released him. The first thing he did was wipe his mouth. The second was to put his mask back on. The third was to head after Astor with weapon in hand.

But though he looked high and low, the seer could not be found.

[lokiiri]

An update.

Hi friends! This is Lokiiri, also known as Loki and formerly known on Twitch and elsewhere under the names LokisObservatory or LokisAdventures. A lot has happened since I kinda dropped off the face of the planet over a year ago. So, as I’m trying to ease back to things, I wanted to give y’all a little update! If you don’t want to read all of it, there’s a summary towards the end.

----------------

This year has been absolutely insane for me. I had SRS in January, and had a rather rough recovery from it all things considered. After a long recovery that saw me on constant pain meds for close to three months, I immediately got sucked back into tax season at my job. As soon as that was over, I finally moved halfway across the country - something I'd wanted to do for over a year at the time. 

I've been using this time of relative solitude to reflect on myself and improve on myself. I feel like I've found a lot of resources that've been just the right thing for me, and I feel more in touch with my true feelings and wants than I ever have been - and it feels incredible. I feel like I'm learning so much about the anxieties and feelings that have driven my life so far, and this learning is slowly enabling me to dismantle those things I want to overcome, and figure out who I really, really am, unfettered by them.

I'm really passionate about where my journey has taken me, and I'm excited to announce that I'll be doing a panel at Midwest FurFest, where I'll try my best to do the topic justice and share some tools I've found helpful for myself on a journey of this kind. I also plan on streaming and recording an online presentation of the panel for those who can’t make it to MFF. 

The furry fandom was instrumental in helping me find my genuine self in a world that had convinced me that life was about locking that self deep within me. I can’t express how much this means to me, and I want to do whatever I can to pay it forward. I hope I can do this topic justice and be a voice that helps others find similar happiness to that which I have found.

Speaking of streaming, I’m going to be returning to that soon as well! I retired from it last year for a number of reasons, including how crazy my life had become as well as some traumatic situations streaming had put me in that I didn’t feel equipped to handle before. But my life has stabilized now, for the most part, and I feel as though I’ve grown, faced my fears, and am ready to come back to something I’ve really missed. 

That said, I want this to be a new start for me, and for a number of reasons, I’ll be using a brand-new account going forward - I’m now Lokiiri on Twitch (https://twitch.tv/Lokiiri)! (You can still call me Loki if you prefer!) I know starting over will make things harder, but I definitely feel more comfortable starting small, with some distance from my previous identity. I have no plans to delete the old account, LokisAdventures, but I also won’t be using it anymore.

Relatedly, yes, I have a new sona now! I love how she turned out, and I’m excited to keep struggling to draw her until I eventually get good at it! I’m also excited to share lots of lore about her! She’s weird and wonderful and she feels so me :>

That said! I also have some news that, at least for the time being, is making me quite anxious. I want to be transparent about that too, because my hope is that my way forward involves the fandom.

Remember how I said I’d been getting more in touch with how I really feel? In the process of doing that, I’ve uncovered a truth that I’d been suppressing because it’s very, very inconvenient in the society I live in:

The usual 40-hour-per-week capitalism grind has a tremendously negative effect on my mental health. It really, really doesn’t work for me, and it never has, and it never will.

See, I’m autistic. I’ve always masked it very well (still haven’t been diagnosed!). The early parts of my life were all about masking, and beating myself up whenever my undiagnosed autism showed. I even had myself fooled by my masking: I operated under the assumption I was ‘normal,’ or that if I wasn’t, then I had to make myself normal in order to survive. It’s something I think a lot of us in the fandom and outside relate to.

I was willing to push myself very, very hard to this end, because I was scared of what would happen if I didn’t. I basically got used to my career requiring me to work myself to the bone to pass muster as a ‘normal,’ neurotypical, productive employee. I managed to do okay at that from time to time, in jobs that were less demanding, but even pretending to be a mediocre ‘normie’ left me totally bereft of energy for anything that I cared for. What free time I had, I could only get myself to use on idle things that ‘pass the time’ rather than being interesting to me. It made me financially comfortable, but the cost was that my life was hollow and unhappy. 

And I find, if I truly search my heart now, I don’t want to go back. And as joyful of a discovery that would normally be in a world in which I had the freedom to pursue what I want… that’s a very scary thing to realize in this world, in my position.

One of the surest signs of my healing right now is that I’m finally unearthing genuine, actual interests - things that I know I want to do, and would love to have already been doing for years. Things like art, music, writing, voice acting. But the problem is that I’m realizing I haven’t developed much in the way of skills in those things. There’s a lot of reasons for this, but probably the biggest one is that, as a former gifted kid, I was always told to stick to what I was “already good at.” If I wasn’t automatically good at something the first time I did it, then it was shameful and uncomfortable and what was the point? I hate how much time that cost me - how much time I could’ve spent getting good at something I actually love doing.

But capitalism isn’t friendly to people in my position. My interests already are more artistic in nature, which usually doesn’t ‘pay the bills’ as well, and I’m behind the skill curve on everything I actually want to do. I’ve tried looking for jobs in my new place that look more laid-back, in hopes they might give me time to build up skills, but so far the job market here in my new place has seemed much less interested in me than I anticipated. 

Combine that with a potential complication with my surgery that I may need some intervention for, and… well, I have savings enough for a few months, but that number just keeps going down.

I don’t know what to do about this, but I have one idea, and I think it’s one that makes sense to try no matter how successful it is. I want to spend a lot of time working on the various things I’m passionate about, and try to open myself up to paid opportunities in those things as soon as I can - as a way of encouraging my work and keeping myself accountable. 

I’m honestly anxious as hell about this all. I’m dealing with a ton of impostor syndrome about it. There are a ton of voices in my head saying this is a bad idea, that it’s ridiculous for me to do this so early. I know most people’s advice would be to just ‘suck it up’ and get a ‘real’ job.

But I have to try this.

I keep thinking about what Badeline tells you early on in the video game Celeste: “You’re not a mountain climber.” It’s so easy to focus on labels and have them box you into things you just ‘can’t do.’ It’s so easy for me to say to myself, “You’re not an artist, a musician, or a writer. This is stupid. You’re wasting your time on something that’s just going to end in failure.”

But I won’t ever know that unless I try. Unless I give myself permission to climb that mountain anyway, and see where it takes me.

So, yeah. I’m in the process of setting up a Ko-Fi along with my stream so that there’s at least a framework for this. I don’t know what to expect, but for now, I’m seeing where this path leads me. Notably, I do plan to make use of my professional background to offer tax and accounting services to the fandom!

Thanks so much for reading, and I hope to see you around. ♥️

Summary:

I’m back, starting fresh under a new name with a new sona! You can find me at https://twitch.tv/Lokiiri!

I took a break for a while due to a combination of real-life things and some traumatic events I didn’t feel equipped to handle, but I feel like I’ve grown a lot since then. I’m hopeful that should similar circumstances arise in the future, that I’ll be better equipped to handle them in a self-loving, respectful way that’s healthy for me and everyone.

As part of my self-discovery, I’ve come to realize the true cost of me trying to shove my autistic, square-peg self into the round hole that is capitalism. Trying to do something different is a scary proposition, but I really want to try. So, I’m trying to gradually move towards being self-employed and making money through what I create. I expect this to take time and work, so I’m trying to be patient with myself! I super super appreciate any support along this journey!

By the way, if you like long-form musings and updates on my life like this, I’ll be using this tumblr blog for that! I want to get in the habit of being more transparent and open about my feelings, but having to do so 300 characters at a time is annoying x3 So I’ll be using this space as a kind of public journal, to talk about feelings and subjects that interest me. If you like that kind of thing, feel free to tune in! (I'll have to learn how all these tags and things work though, weh xD)

Thanks so much for your time, and have a lovely timezone! 💖

[higanbana-writer]

Better Than Money

Pairing: 1920s Police!Mammon x Crime Boss!Fem!Reader Note: Inspired by this post

Jazz music floated softly through the air, mixed with the quiet murmurs of patrons. Though the club usually hosted a lively environment, on this particular day, everybody there acted as if they were dancing upon the tip of a knife. They had to behave as if they were enjoying themselves, and yet make sure they were not being a nuisance to a certain person present.

And that person in particular happened to be the very owner of the club. She lounged at one of the VIP tables close to the stage, all tables nearest to her devoid of any patrons. Of course, the unease of everybody there was very evident, but she didn’t mind. As a matter of fact, she liked it. After all, that’s how things were supposed to be. She couldn’t very well run a criminal organization if nobody feared her, could she?

Taking a drag from her cigarette holder, she glanced up as a man approached her table. His tousled white hair seemed to shine even under the sim lights and his yellow-blue eyes gleamed as he took in her appearance.

She was donned in a black, floor-length cocktail dress with a plunging neckline and long slits on the sides to show off her legs, finished off with delicate gold chains that draped across her bare shoulders and adorned her waist. It was exactly what he liked and she knew it.

A sly smile spread across her painted lips when she saw his Adam’s apple bob up and down. She let out a soft exhale and whisps of smoke curled up towards the ceiling. Then, she spoke, her tone teasing.

“Well, Mammon? Are you going to just stand there and ogle at me all day, or will you join me and sit?”

He coughed awkwardly, the tips of his ears flushing red as he slid into the seat across from her. “Is that how you’re gonna talk to the guy who cleaned up your mess for ya?” He puffed arrogantly, trying to cover up his embarrassment.

How cute.

“Ah, yes. I must thank you for that. Beelzebub got a bit too worked up when that shop owner refused to pay his protection fee.” She grimaced when she recalled how messy the aftermath ended up being. “I suppose it must have been rather difficult for you to deal with.”

Mammon scoffed, waving a dismissive hand. “Pssh, who do ya think I am? Cleanin’ up after that big oaf was nothin’. Give me more credit, would ya?”

She let out a light laugh before she slid a thick envelope across the table towards him. “Indeed, it’s true that you have not once let me down. Putting a copper like you on my payroll was an excellent choice. Here, your payment as promised.”

“Oohh, now we’re talkin’!”

Instantly, his expression lit up and he grabbed the envelope, opening it to check the contents. She could practically see the money signs floating around him as he counted the cash. Just when he began to pocket the envelope, he suddenly paused and looked up at her, appearing conflicted about something.

Tilting her head, she questioned, “Is something the matter, Mammon?”  

“Well, ya see…” He chewed on his lip, staring at her intently as he thought hard. Finally deciding on something, he hastily placed the envelope back onto the table and shoved it towards her.

Her eyebrows rose in astonishment. Mammon, rejecting money? Why, that was unheard of! What in the world had gotten into him?

“See, I love money, I really do. But this time I want somethin’ different…” Trailing off, he seemed to struggle with saying the next sentence.

Suddenly realizing what he was trying to do, she took another drag from her cigarette holder, attempting to suppress a grin.

Perhaps feeling a bit overwhelmed, Mammon took a deep breath before practically shouting, “Let me take ya out to dinner!”

Ah, seriously. This man was such a darling!

Everybody had turned to stare upon hearing his request, fearing that he had angered her and a murder was about to take place. She paid them no heed, however. Unable to hold back her smile anymore, she leaned forward and rested her chin in her hand, giving him a sultry gaze. “Dinner, hm? Goodness, what a bold request you’re making~”

“W-Well… Ya don’t hafta, i-if ya don’t wanna…! I was just…just-“ He stumbled over his words as he rushed to take back what he said, perhaps assuming that he was overstepping his boundaries or that she was going to reject him.

Before Mammon could go any further, she grabbed his tie and pulled him towards her, placing a chaste kiss upon his lips. He froze in shock and she giggled, teasing, “Why, I thought money was your only love. I’m flattered that you’d ask for me instead.”

Releasing his tie, she then stood from the table and pushed the envelope back to him. “Regardless of that, however, you’ve worked hard so I insist that you take this.” With a wink, she added, “As for dinner, I expect you to pick me up at seven sharp. I’m looking forward to seeing what you plan out~”

Leaving him with those words, she sauntered away and all the while, Mammon stared after her in a daze.

What just happened?

[jedi-bird]

In case there are those who wonder why they sometimes breakdown over seemingly minor things, just remember that it's never because of something minor. That minor thing is usually the final straw that breaks the camels back. It's one too many forks stuck in you. It's being on edge for far too long without realizing.

Today, I had a breakdown over ants in the yard. I've been spray and cleaning up for weeks and they keep coming back immediately. They keep getting closer to the house. I freaked out and started hysterically crying.

It was not about the ants.

Lately, there's been too much shit piling up in my life. My pain keeps getting worse and the severe migraines are back. The insurance I've been paying for keeps dropping me and refusing to admit they fucked up (they now owe us a lot of money or there's a lawsuit coming). House repairs have meant I've been on edge with no way to release stress. Can't craft because everything I planned to work on this year are behind boxes that were moved specifically for the repairs. If I talk about going and getting something I get told that I don't need it and to just make do with what I have, regardless of what it is. During a major heat wave I got told off for not changing litter boxes or mowing the lawn; this was also during a time when I was having to lift the trash cans over piles of equipment blocking the walkway and dodge ladders and piles of trash to even water my plants. I get asked when I'm going to do the laundry as I'm struggling to carry it down the stairs. Eye rolls when I'm too tired or sick to make dinner. Told I'm uncaring and cold. Dealing with family problems that are getting serious. Being forced to sit in silence alone for weeks on end.

It was not about the ants. The ants were just that final straw.

I am overwhelmed. I am tired. I feel useless and pointless and it feels like it wouldn't matter if I didn't exist. I know none of this is true but that's how it feels.

Partner does not understand this. "I told you to tell me if you want to go someplace." Except when I do I get met with silence. Or anger. And yes that anger is not directed at me but it's hard not to feel like it is when I grew up in an abusive household.

I didn't want to go anyplace today. I wanted to just start putting things back now that the washer is here. I wanted to tidy up the yard. I wanted to organize my closet. Instead, I went outside to take the trash out and wound up covered in ants. And quickly ran out of spray.

It's never something small. It's too many small things that cause an avalanche of emotions. Seeing the ants made my fear that they are about to come inside. And if they do, am I going to get blamed for it? Because I'm the only one who goes out and moves things and sprays for them and sets up traps. I've stopped asking for help because it never comes and I feel worthless hoping it will. I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired.

It's never something small or inconsequential. Nothing ever is.