#i am not trans but my partner who this is about is

[megggriffin]

My roommate tried to commit suicide after the election results came in. I found out because his parents arrived at our apartment after he screamed at them that they were to blame for Trump in power and the fear and rejection he felt.

I, dealing with my own shit, said the world sucks. Anyone trying to convince you otherwise is lying. I regret it, and we’re both in a better place finally. It took a lot.

His parents arrived, I called him to come home, called our other bestie to sit on the phone as he also came over, muted, and proceeded to chew out his parents for an hour on why their trans nb son felt this way.

That I, a woman who is about to have VP in her work title, can pay my bills, and the anthesis of what people see when they think queer, leftist (not a democrat), chronically ill. I have the privilege of looking heterosexual in my relationship, even though my partner is nonbinary. I look like I’m not sick, despite the serious medications in my system to keep me looking this way. I am a white woman in a male dominated field. I fight for what I can, especially in my field. And should I hide and take up less space? His mother told me absolutely not.

And I said but you voted for him. You voted for a man who has allowed people, that day, to openly discuss how the world would just be easier without chronically ill people.

You voted for a man who doesn’t believe in transgender rights, the rights for your son to exist.

The argument/lecture ended when his mom told me she didn’t come for a political lecture, and I told her to get the fuck out of my house as she would not be conducive for keeping her son alive.

Weeks later, after he went through a voluntary psych hold, she and her husband called me deranged and many other terrible things. At the time, I was still a go between for them, which was the final straw.

I informed them to never ask me how their son is doing again and blocked them. If they come to our house, I will call the police for trespassing.

Everything I’ve seen since Trump took office has obviously supported what my roommate and I knew and feared. It’s taken everything in me to not unblock his mom and just send her news links and reblock her.

Ain’t no way Trump just said the government would establish two genders: male and female, in his inauguration speech, and people are still trying to say that queer folks have no need to be scared 😭 fucking losing it

[maxdibert]

Okay, this question has been making me roll and grit my teeth at night. Why do people make Sirius, Regulus, and Barty Crouch so feminine? I don't get it. It's almost weird in a way because Sirius seems pretty masculine to me, he just has long hair and a flamboyant personality. Regulus, we don't even know much about the guy and already I see fanart of his being a twink. And Crouch...I don't understand that.

I am not against mlm ships or gay characters/character head cannons. I myself believe that Snape is probably under that trans or gender-neutral flag (he radiates that energy), and that he is queer coded. But those guys? Ehh...it's weird how there's always a "top" and "bottom" for these kinds of things, don't you think? Can't they both just be masculine?

But can we agree that being gay doesn't mean being feminine? Can we understand that even if you make a crack ship or write slash, it doesn't mean you have to change the damn characters' personalities? I mean, if you want to pair Sirius with every male character in the saga, that’s totally fine, but don't create another character that has nothing to do with Sirius to fit your sexist and fetishistic stereotypes, seriously. They constantly reproduce dom/sub dynamics in homosexual relationships, with masculinized and feminized types, thus continuing stereotypes inherited from the heteronormative system. They're not doing anything radical, anti-system, or against J.K. Rowling; they’re turning Sirius into a stereotype traditionally assigned to women and making his supposed partners alpha males, reproducing these harmful dynamics. Sirius isn't feminine; Sirius is the most masculine of the four Marauders. Otherwise, Rowling wouldn’t bother mentioning a hundred times that he was super handsome, liked by the girls, had a motorcycle, or had posters of girls in bikinis on the wall. Rowling makes a big point of hypermasculinizing Sirius Black. Sirius is a tough guy from a hegemonic masculinity perspective—impulsive, violent, passionate, and a bastard when he wants to be. What you see in that fandom isn't Sirius; it's a damn OC they've created and named after him. He doesn't even physically resemble Sirius when they draw him because they always make him short and skinny when canonically, Sirius was the tallest of the four, and Rowling emphasizes how tall and intimidating he is multiple times.

I don't care about the ships because I think you can ship anything except some weird stuff, but just because you can ship anything doesn't mean you have free rein to make the characters hyper-OOC and have the audacity to convince the audience that it fits with the canon. No, it doesn't fit. If I want to read a Sirius x (insert any character), I want to read about Sirius Black, not some cheap imitator that the real Sirius Black would probably bully to exhaustion. Barty Crouch wasn't a sassy, cunty "uwu" type. Everyone was shocked when Barty turned out to be a Death Eater; his father describes him as someone who got excellent grades, seemingly a kid who flew under the radar, which is why everyone was so shocked when he turned out to be one of Voldy's boys. These people have turned him into a walking caricature, some kind of 80s diva that the real Barty never was. Again, they've created a character that doesn't exist and given him a canon name. And Regulus Black... What they've done with Regulus is also scandalous. In the end, they've turned him into a whiny, spineless, hyper-"feminized" character so that James can be the alpha male who saves him. Don't they see how terribly problematic these stereotypes are and the disservice they do to the community? I mean, they boast about being champions of LGBTQ+ representation, but all they do is reproduce super toxic and harmful clichés that perpetuate dynamics from a misogynistic and sexist heteronormative perspective. And on top of that, they do all this by completely changing the characters, dismembering them, stripping them of every ounce of their true personalities, and replacing it with their made-up nonsense.

[trannyradfem]

If you think the only criticism towards radical feminism that exists is regurgitated drivel from TikTok, you desperately need to go touch grass and stop arguing against strawmen that don't exist. And stop going on TikTok, maybe?

Like, have you ever considered that other women are capable of creating their own thoughts and criticisms, even though they differ from yours? Why is it always ok to treat us like we're brainless drones the second we're sympathetic to sex dysphoria? Why is it ok to act like we're prioritizing males when we want a genuinely neglected medical condition that disproportionately affects us negatively to be taken more seriously and understood-- not from the mainstream male dominated perspective, but ours? And why is it ok to delude yourself into thinking it's misogynistic to have compassion for the women that radical feminism typically shits on and leaves behind over a stupid binary turf war (trans vs radfem) that should've ended 10 years ago?

Wake the fuck up, this is a medical condition and we deserve better than "just go get therapy (that doesn't even exist AND also work) or else you're a traitor hurr durr". Is medical misinformation cool only when radfems do it, now? I'm tired of your aclinical defenses when most of you arguing this hard aren't even fucking licensed professionals. But guess what? I am, and I've seen more than enough medically inaccurate bullshit coming from radfems to ever even need to have any exposure to TikTok to speak out about it.

That kind of bullshit^^^ isn't remotely radical, so no shit we're going to criticize it. We are the women left behind. Hatred towards us for that reason is just bathing in the privelege of not having this hellish condition. The fact that some of you cant even have a single conversation with us without becoming ridiculously condescending and demeaning speaks volumes, and shows us what you really think of us. You say we're condescending for wanting to establish a branch of radical feminism that doesn't leave any woman behind-- dysphoric or not-- and then condescend to us as if that's actually doing anything meaningful beyond reaffirming your own beliefs so you don't have to consider the alternatives.

Like the girl who called my detrans female friend a TIM and equated me to straight women wanting to include their male partners in feminism, all for the sin of saying..... "homophobia against males isn't ok, either". Ooh, the horror. I'm really watering down the radical feminism movement with that one. Nevermind a supposed radfem equating a lesbian to straight women, that's not important because we need to fight the disgusting troons!!!!

That shit was so fucking homophobic and dehumanizing, but who cares when you aim that behavior at a troon? Except one of us literally isn't even trans at all, so... wtf? Is this some new radical behavior, accusing women of secretly being males to discredit them? This witch hunting bullshit is ok now?

Stop acting like you give a shit about all women when you really don't. And stop giving the "well I'm sorry other RFs did that to you but that wasn't really radical feminism" line as if TRAs don't do that same exact shit! You only care about women that fit your image, all else are apparently acceptable targets. That's the same exact shit TRAs do.

If you want to see us be condescending so badly, then fine-- stop being so disgustingly misogynistic and homophobic under the guise of radical feminism, and then we can talk. Stop giving us reasons to criticize and maybe we won't want to separate ourselves from the movement at large.

[notkitten]

have you ever thought about a sheath for her pretty clit? straps holding it against her, wrapping over her hips, perfect handholds. textured silicone cradling her, tight and warm from your body heat, letting just the most sensitive part of her feel the slide of your body - have you ever thought about hooking your fingers into her mouth as she fucks into you, feeling the stretch as the toy fills you and makes you clench around it - makes her whimper- her drool running down your fingers- and the desperate way she'd look at you before she tipped over the edge?

[bartholomewls]

first and foremost, hey lunar! it's been a while. unfortunate to find your tumblr like this, but, well, here we are.

i'm the person who previously identified as vamp_shy in multiple places, and i was a mod for bloodweave brainrot nearly since its inception. i wrote quite a few fics for the fandom in the pretty early days, including farewell wanderlust. i met a lot of my new friends because the server. i met the person who, soon, is going to be becoming my wife.

mj was trying to undermine me as a person and as a moderator very, very early on, but their accusations of my behavior later on made me legitimately scared to stay anywhere near this fandom in a public sense.

i had formed a lot of the original groundwork for the nsfw parts of the server before, from what i understand, things fell the fuck apart. i always tried to foster as much inclusivity and positivity while minimizing things that could harm others as much as possible, and a lot of my drive was to be inclusive of marginalized identities, *especially* trans people, considering i am one myself (yeah, they tried to lie about this too, before you ask).

i, and the mod team, made a genuine mistake in some of our phrasing in an announcement regarding a situation involving those exact morals centering around trans people. considering most of the mod team was part of if not some, almost all of those minorities, we all felt guilty for the way it had ended up working out and the words we had chosen because they did hurt people, even if they had been said trying to do the right thing and protect many members of the community that had come forward to disclose their discomfort about this group.

in an attempt to appease mj, i was thrown under the bus entirely and blamed for a majority of the situation, despite having made the announcement with multiple mods involved. this happened during one of the most stressful parts of my life, and after the mistake had happened, mj was damn well going to hold it against me, not to mention try to manipulate my partner about it.

they grew close with my partner and took advantage of their ability to trust in the good of others and their want to make new friends, likely as an attempt to get more closely involved with moderation of the community, since the mods had all already agreed that mj should never be allowed to become one. they fed my partner lie after lie about *so* many things, including but not limited to:

- the character of others

- the motives of other moderators

- possibly making edits of multiple screenshots to manipulate situations further

- me and *my* character, including implying that i was actively trying to abuse my partner and did not want to take accountability for the situation above. as someone who had only recently gotten out of an abusive relationship, this stung the most. it nearly worked. had i not shown my partner my conversations i had been having with mj and we had not started comparing discrepencies, i would have lost him entirely. i cared so, so deeply about the community and tried to uplift trans voices every step of the way, but they actively tried to spread the idea that i was lying about being trans and was, in fact, trying to do the very thing their group had been accused of: being trans fetishists.

- their relationship status with one of the other moderators. by the way mj, what the fuck were you thinking? that mod is ace/aro and *also* just excited to make friends, and the shit that you told my partner and other people was fucking revolting. they were a kind person that you tried to manipulate, seemingly only for sexual benefit, and you are Fucking Married. you do not deserve your partner the way that you have spoken about them privately to multiple people while you actively tried to pursue relationships with other people.

- that they had permission to take multiple people's ocs for their own writing purposes. this is also one of the more weird points?? they actively plagarized quite a few people in the community, including myself and quite a bit of the mod team, and seem to have taken a lot of these popular ocs purely to add to their own clout-goblin activities.

- that no one in the mod team was part of any minority, and that we were actively trying to stomp out the trans people in our community

- that their own partner was abusive for literally just being autistic. no, i am not kidding, this is something they actively said.

these are just the things that happened while i was still present in the server, which i left, by the way, because the harrassment had grown so bad i was actively considering taking my life in response because i was terrified of how far this person would be willing to go in order to try to ruin my reputation online and my relationships.

by the way? the moderation team knew about all of this very, very early on and knew that mj was a problem, and did nothing about it, despite receiving all of the evidence from my partner and i and actively spectating their behavior in the server, and did nothing until it apparently became Literally Illegal. i do believe some of the moderation that was brought in in the later waves was in mj's pocket to try to manipulate the server, despite never applying to become a moderator to begin with. they knew of the harrassment that was happening against me, my friends, and others, and did *nothing* to stop it because they were afraid of the publicity it might induce. they also wiped all of my documentation i had left behind of this situation in the server as soon as i left, clearly never intending to use it in the first place. to the moderators still present, especially the ones that had been there since the beginning? you did this. you let this happen. there are some mods that tried to stop it, including myself and my partner, but we were actively *denied* the ability to fix any of this situation and stop it before more people got hurt. it didn't have to go this far, but it was actively allowed to happen because of fear of their group and how actively popular their work is.

i use this word very sparingly, but i do think mj is a genuine monster. you stepped into a community centered on positivity, kindness, and uplifting the voices of marginalized people and tried to poison it, all in the name of popularity. for someone who actively bragged about being marginalized, including being a "generational queer" (genuinely what the fuck is this supposed to represent, you don't see other people bragging about having queer parents, what is your Deal??????), you managed to take some of the most marginalized of the community and show to them that it was unsafe, especially at your own hands.

mj, i know you're reading this because you are a never-ending clout demon who only gives a shit about their own reputation and pleasure, i mean this sincerely: get help. you are so far down this tunnel, and you have done a great deal of digging it yourself. the world is not out to get you in the way that you think, and it by no means ever justifies the pain you have inflicted on other people with your lies and manipulation. i don't know what you had against me, and i don't know if you were trying to ruin my relationship to be with my partner, i can't even pretend to understand what the fuck is going on with you. you were older than almost all of us, and yet this is the way you acted. this is not how *anyone* should behave, especially if they're in a queer community, nevertheless one about Two Abused Characters. this wasn't even a fully comprehensive list of the things you did. i, by no means, do not claim to be a perfect or blameless person by far, but you sure seem hellbent in portraying that for yourself. just get help, man, jesus christ

Bloodweave Community

There is an insidious person in the BW fandom. You may think I’m close to him, but I’ve never been. I played along because I mistakenly thought I was wrong about him. Then countless people started revealing their own stories. He is the most vocal and EVERYWHERE. It’s a smokeshow.

In DMs, he tears people down, shares other's secrets, pushes for private information like addresses/cell numbers. He accuses others of bigotry and cruelty then acts the victim the moment someone disagrees. He smiles at you and then shits on you the moment your back is turned.

I’m not trying to start rumors, I’m trying to warn people. DO NOT GIVE HIM YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION. I have a wealth of screenshots that I’ve been collecting for over a year of increasingly disgusting behavior. Due to recent escalated events, I’m no longer going to be silent. He is a blight in our community. Excise him.

[androidboy]

-

[champagnesupernoel]

being perceived in the wrong way !

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

When you post an AU idea for Comic Nimona about her being free from the monster which represents pain and trauma in that story and a bunch of people who only watched the movie (where there is no monster and her powers/differences represent trans identity) start harassing you and calling you transphobic and media illiterate when they're actually illiterate because they either didn't READ the comic or somehow didn't realize that Nimona's powers are symbolically different in the comic despite multiple panels indicating otherwise

[sheila--e]

Man who the fuck gives a shit about "men's rights". What rights??? What rights do men not have??? The right to be annoying dickheads??

[void-botanist]

Sheri: A Powerpoint Intro

It is here! A tiny bit of background: Sheri is sort of a companion to Triad, in the sense that it shows some of what happened to the other ex-heir to the Navaren throne, but it takes place after it (by at least 3 months). Also maybe someday I'll come up with a better title for it.

Anyway please enjoy this introduction to fantasy disaster gays.

[lovelyrotter]

yknow i think a lot of the really far-gone transfemme vs transmasc people who still play by the 6th grade milquetoast "trans women are targeted way more than trans men cause femininity is bad and masculinity is good In Our Society, so trans men get free acceptability passes" feminism forget that trans men/transmascs started life. as. little girls. we were mistaken, from birth, for baby girls. and we were raised by our parents to believe that we were little girls.

a lot of trans men and transmascs then grew up to be teenaged girls

a lot of trans men and transmascs were adult women too

and for a while we *believed* we were girls and women. some of us even WISHED we were girls and women (points at myself). and much more importantly, we were continually seen as girls and women. a lot of the time, we are STILL seen as girls and women, even with full fuckin beards and baritone voices. especially if we need to go to any kind of medical professional. this is what our free acceptability pass looks like?

its just so much more nuanced than these 'boys vs girls' people ever seem to care to think about. even binary trans folks dont have the same sense of cisgendered binary that cis people do. we literally cross from one fake end of the fake-binary to the other. thats where the trans in transgender comes from. i dont know how some other trans folks seem to forget that?? i don't know how, somewhere along the line, we forgot that trans men and transmascs also directly suffer under misogyny?

[moodr1ng]

watching a video on coming out narratives in media and it did make me realize ive never seen one that resembled how coming out went for me personally - where i first came out as bi to my mom to complete acceptance bordering on apathy (i mean, she had been telling me how it would be totally ok if i was a lesbian since before i knew i liked girls myself lol. it really was a case of the "i always knew" cliché) but later faced a very strong negative reaction when coming out as trans, with it taking several years for my mom to finally come around to it. when she did though - which seemed to be motivated by my psychiatrist validating my dysphoria and making it clear that this wasnt some new delusion or other mental health symptom - she eventually became extremely supportive of me and did stuff like writing angry emails berating my healthcare team for delaying my top surgery etc. also i kinda had to re-come out as bi bc i spent a few years only dating men and my mom just assumed i was gay now lol, and when one day i mentioned being bi she was like "oh youre still bi?".. AND i also had a sort of second trans coming out when telling my mom i was bigender now and not just a man, and this one i had to do twice bc her memory has been getting bad w age so she forgot the first time i told her!

while on my dads side, trying to come out as bi ended in learning that he was bi himself (even though he self-ids as straight for batshit reasons), and coming out as trans was met with "i dont really get it, but i dont care, you can do whatever you want", which was certainly a relief but also turned out to not be a particularly supportive reaction, more a lack of one. it wasnt a reticent reaction either, he just genuinely didnt care, which included him never informing himself on trans identity - like how when i started hrt after 5 years of socially transitioning my dad asked me what testosterone would do, because he hadnt ever looked it up.

thats not mentioning the various coming outs w my sisters and the rest of my family which all went in various ways (though luckily they were all positive). various members of my family have different knowledge of my identity - im bigender to my mom and my little sister but a trans man to my dad, my older sister and my maternal family, im bi to my parents and my sisters but my mom told her side of the family i was gay lol, and my other younger siblings on my dads side (who im not rly in contact with) probably think im a cis man bc theyre young enough that they were either born after i transitioned or were too young to remember it, so i do have two direct family members who presumably dont know im lgbt at all. interestingly, knowledge of my identity ended up reflecting our relationships, with the people closest to me having the most accurate picture of who i am while the farther apart we are the more vague that picture becomes, ending with the two members of my family im least close to not knowing anything at all.

maybe its in part bc i dont really go for the sort of media that tends to include coming out narratives that much, but i dont think ive seen stories that resemble any of these experiences. yet ik im far from the only lgbt person with weird or kind of comedic or messy coming out stories..

[ezpegs]

trying to figure out who I want to be and what I want to look like ig

trans men and trans masc folks are so cool and strong and good and sometimes t looks really good but I could not do a second puberty. some o yall are fuckin brave as fuck

[wild-at-mind]

I wonder if there is a particular loneliness in being a trans person who transitions within a relationship with someone who never considered themselves part of the LGBTQ community at all. :(

[heartofhubris-a]

"trans men just get to transition into privilege and never have any issues because male is the preferred gender in our society!"

lemme tell you smth: I have left partners because the fear of them rejecting me was higher than the probability they'd love me as a man

[boys-and-such]

sometimes i mayhaps would like a boyfriend