#i am not tagging all the god dam ships

[midnight---hollow]

(Jays speed is supose to be 2. Im an idiot and added, incorrectly added cus even the addition is wrong, instead of subtracting)

Ok i made a base plan for the hanaki au and i want to share it.

@toastingstardust​

Hanaki background

Hanaki is a type of parasite that takess the form of flowers

If both parents have the parasite then the child is born with it

Spores can also be breathed in so you are almost certain to have it unless you get a surgery

The parasite helps push a person to fall in love but at a cost

When a human with the parasite exhibits love for someone the flower will send a diffrent type of spores in search for the spores of said person

If the spores of the other give a negative reaction then the body of the first person will begin to shut down, it will start growing the flowers to use up as much energy before the body kills itself and the parasite

When the person decomposes a flower bed will be left in there place

Said bed will let out an on spray of spores that attach to anyone or anything nearby

There are 3 ways to get rid of the parasite

1 is surgery

The surgery is risky though and unless the person is under the age 10 it will distort the persons sense of love

They wont be able to properly love someone

The second is the other person falling in love with the 1st person

The parasite will stop growing and slowly shink away, it wont leave but it wont hurt the 1st person unless they get a heartbreak

Just dating them wont do anything, it must be genuine love. As long as the spores react positive you are safe

The last way is if your turned into a proxy or alter ego

It dosnt shink or cure the parasite but it will prevent it from growing further

This only works if said alter is in control.

Example being tims flowers will keep growing but when masky wakes up they stop

Hoody masky are alters

How to calculate your stats

P1st will stand for the first person (the one who can get the hanaki)

P2nd is for the second person (the one who can cause the hanaki)

In order to have the chance of growing the parasite p1st need to a a love stat of above 5

_# will be fore a blank stat

The first letter of p1st name will go on _ and their love stat will go on #

Example being brian with love stat 10 for tim

That would be b10

You do the same for p2nd

You subtract p1st by p2nd and the number is the speed

Example would be b10-t2= 8

The closer the numb is to 10 the quicker the speed of the parasite grows

The closer to 0 the slower it goes

If you love more then ine person you can gain extra speed or decrease speed

For example jay has a b8 and a9

Jay should have a 4 speed stat but because brian has a j6 and 8-6 is 2 you subtract 2 from 4 to get a 2 again

So jays speed stat would be 2

An example for adding would be if someone (k) has a f10 and and e8

If e has k1 and f has a k4 you would get 6 and 7

If the difference is above 5 you add (you subtract if under 5)

So you end up with an 11 speed that turns into a 10 (you cant go past 10 speed)

Mh crew stats

(Speed stats are probably wrong. If you notice any are incorrect please tell me cus i dont math)

Tim

B4

J9

A2

Speed: 4

Jay:

B8

A9

T5

Speed: 2

Brian:

T10

J6

A5

Speed: 6

Alex

T10

B3

J5

Speed: 8

The story

In this au the story that happeneds in marble hornets happeneds here but with these factors at play

Alex isnt a villain unless his alter is at play

They learn who hoody is in the begining

The stats i gave out are the begining ones, they may change throughout the adventure

The alters are both helping and on TO side

If TO is nearby or has gotten to close to an alter then they follow what it says

If they have had a bit of time from TO they gain their own mindsets back and help out jay tim brian and alex

If the the parasite grows to much and an alter is in control it gains a new purpose

It will gain the instinct to go after p2nd in hopes of bosting their love stat

They dont hurt them they just get extremely clingy and constantly follow p2nd

Jay tim alex and brians goal is to get TO away from them (and hopefully take care of their hanaki)

[just-dreaming-marvel]

It’s Always Been You ~ 148

OUT OF TIME MASTERLIST

IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOU MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 1,800ish

Summary: the battle continues....

Notes: You must read Out Of Time in order to understand this. The chapter numbers continue from Out Of Time.

The fight was raging on as Clint ran through the battle field, the gauntlet and Stones with him.

“Cap!” He called over the comms. “What do you want me to do with this damn thing?”

“Get those Stones as far away as possible!” Steve ordered.

“No!” Bruce exclaimed. "We need to get them back where they came from.”

“No way to get them back. Thanos destroyed the quantum tunnel,” Tony added.

“Hold on!” Scott interrupted. “That wasn’t our only time machine.” Suddenly, the song La Cucaracha began playing.

“Anyone see an ugly, brown van up there?” Steve wondered, going to higher ground to try himself.

“Yes!” Valkyrie answered. “But you’re not gonna like where’ it’s parked!”

“Scott, how long do you need to get that thing working?” Tony asked.

“Maybe ten minutes,” Scott responded.

“Get it started,” Steve said. “We’ll get the Stones to you.”

“Not until this is finished,” Y/N said. “I need to be able to channel the Stones.” She was blasting the creatures attacking her to bits, trying to reach the Stones.

“Well hurry! You have ten minutes.”

~~~

Dr. Strange was finishing up a group of Chitauri when Tony landed beside him. His helmet disappeared as he came closer to the sorcerer. 

“Hey. You said one out of 14 million, we win, yeah? Tell me this is it,” Tony begged.

“If I tell you what happens, it won’t happen,” Strange responded.

“You better be right… Just tell me if Y/N lives.”

“She demanded the same information about you. And I can’t give you what you want either.”

“I just need to know if she survives this. I don’t care about myself or anyone else, I just need to know about Y/N.”

“I cannot tell you.”

“Then promise me you’ll do everything you can to help her and keep her safe.”

Strange sighed, his heart aching the in familiarity of the conversation. “Of course.”

~~~

Y/N was trying to be careful with the amount of energy she was using. She knew that she needed to save up for a more crucial moment that laid ahead. As she fought off the army, the gauntlet was being tossed around to whoever was the safest for it at the moment. Y/N could hear the voices of who had it in her ear, but she was far more concerned with the battle in front of her.

“Rain fire!” Thanos’ voice boomed across the battlefield.

Y/N inhaled sharply and looked up at the ship that was preparing to fire. Y/N flew up as they began to fire. She quickly noted at one hit Wanda, flinging her away from where she was fighting Thanos. Angry, Y/N flung her arms out and a giant force field formed between the battlefield and the ship.

“Y/N!” A few voices exclaimed.

Tony flew up, hovering beside her. “Honey, I’m right here. You got this.” He could see the strain on her face as she tried her best to protect everyone. “Let me know when you need me and I’ll be right here to catch you.”

All Y/N could do was nod. Tony rushed back down to join the others.

“Uh, is anyone else seeing this?” Rhodey said.

Strange looked over, noticing that water is rushing from the broken dam. Flooding the battlefield. He hurried over, using his magic to stop the water. While he focused his magic on the water, Strange looked up to see how Y/N was holding up. The force field was still taking fire and Y/N seemed to be handling it okay. But there was really no way of telling from down there.

Y/N had her eye clenched, with really no idea of how she was doing what she was doing. But she knew she couldn’t stop. Taking a shaking breath, Y/N peeked her eyes open to seeing the ship’s cannons change direction. Shooting at something in the sky.

“What the hell is this?” Sam wondered.

“FRIDAY, what are they firing at?” Tony asked.

“Something just entered the upper atmosphere,” the AI answered.

A bright light of thundering energy came surging down as Carol Danvers flew through the ship. The ship exploded, crash-landing into the lake.

“Oh, yeah!” Rocket exclaimed.

“Danvers, we need an assist here,” Steve said. Carol nodded, flying down.

“Y/N, you can come down now,” Tony said as he blasted a creature away. No response. “Y/N?” He looked up. Y/N was still there, the force field slowly retracting. Everyone else paused to look up as well, trying to figure out what was going on. “Y/N, answer me!”

With the force field completely gone, Y/N hovered there for a few seconds. Tired, she tried to regain her strength. But instead, her eyes fluttered closed and she plummeted towards the earth.

“Y/N!!!!”

Tony flew to her, catching his wife and holding her tightly to him.

“I got you,” he whispered. “I got you.”

“Tony…” Y/N rasped, slowly coming to as Tony landed.

“I’m right here.” His helmet disappeared. “Always falling,” he smirked.

She pushed away, signaling for him to set her down. Tony did so, keeping his hands firmly on her waist.

“Are you okay?” He worried.

“I’m fine,” she said. “I just didn’t know I could do that.”

“Let’s not do that again then, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Stay safe.” Tony pressed a kiss to her temple before flying away.

Y/N looked around, trying to sense where the Stones were. Her eyes caught sight of Peter, hugging the gauntlet close to his body. Carol was in front of him, going to help him up. Y/N portaled over.

“I don’t know how you’re gonna get it through all that,” Peter said after he handed over the gauntlet.

“Don’t worry,” Wanda replied, landing beside them.

“She’s got help,” Okoye added.

The rest of the women on the battlefield appeared behind Carol. Y/N smirked, sending Peter a nod and a wink. Carol flew with the gauntlet through the army as the others fought them off. 

“Carol!” Y/N exclaimed. “You can’t send the Stones through yet!” 

“We have to,” Bruce responded. “You heard wh—“

“We can’t! Not yet!! I need them. Give them to me.”

“Y/N, what are you thinking?” Tony asked.

“I’m thinking that it’s time to end this, once and for all. And I can’t do that without the Stones.”

“Do you know what you’re doing, Y/N?” Carol asked.

“I will.”

“I’m on my way back to you.”

But before Carol could get to Y/N, Thanos threw is sword at the van, causing an explosion and blasting Carol away. She lost her grip on the Stones as she did.

“No!” Y/N exclaimed. 

She portaled herself over there only for Thanos to hit her back through. Tony quickly flew into Thanos, tackling him to the ground. The wrestled on the ground for a bit before Thanos tossed Tony to the side, causing him hit his head and get knocked out. Thor flew in next, Stormbreaker held high. With help from Steve and Mjolnir, Thor tried to pin Thanos’ arm down. However, Thanos overpowered them both, knocking them out.

As Y/N finally stood back up, Thanos picked up the gauntlet. Carol got to Thanos before Y/N did, punching at him. She kept punching him, but was grabbed my the arm and flung away. Y/N portaled in front of him right as Thanos slipped on the gauntlet, the gamma radiation eating at him.

“Trying to stop me too, little girl?” Thanos taunted.

“I don’t need to try,” Y/N responded.

Holding out her hands, she willed the Stones to her. Cracking the gauntlet, the Stones ripped out and circled around Y/N. Tony, coming too, noticed the scene and pushed himself onto his hands and knees, his helmet disappearing into his suit. He was panting as he quickly made eye-contact with Dr. Strange, who was still holding the water up. With a shaking finger, Strange signaled that this was the one shot they had. Scared for Y/N’s safety, Tony shot up, going to help his wife. Strange quickly held him back with his magic. 

Tony looked back, desperate. “Let me go.”

“I’m sorry,” Strange responded. “But I promised her first."

“Impossible,” Thanos gasped. He fell back as Y/N slowly floated above him.

“I’ve waited a long time for this day,” Y/N responded. Her voice was soft, yet powerful. God-like even. She could be heard throughout the battlefield without having to raise her voice. “I’ve suffered and I’ve thrived. I’ve waited, and I’ve grown irritated with time. But it’s all worth it because I get to end this… once and for all.”

Spreading her arms out and up, tendrils sprouted from the Stones. They spread out, growing across the battlefield. As the tendrils touched those of Thanos’ army, they turned to dust. Thanos watched for a few moments in shock before growling and standing back up. He grabbed Y/N’s foot, yanking her down to the ground and causing the Stones to fall to the ground as well. She grunted as she tumbled in the dirt and debris before coming to a stop.

“Y/N!” Tony exclaimed, pointlessly trying to fight his way to her.

She was still on the ground when Thanos raised his fist. And he came down to hit her, she portaled to stand behind him.

“You missed,” she taunted through her panting.

Y/N pushed a hand forward, blasting Thanos back into a pile of debris. The Stones floated back to her as she marched towards the Titan. Each Stone found a place on her left arm, burning into her skin without her feeling physical pain.

“14 millions ways,” Y/N said, “yet we only win one… I don’t understand how, especially with the Stones on my side. But it doesn’t matter now. Because this is the one we win. You had no chance.”

“There’s always a chance,” Thanos grunted as he tried to get up.

With a flick of her wrist, Thanos’ limbs were pinned by the debris. He struggled against it as she sauntered closer.

“Unfortunately, I’m afraid you’re all out of chances,” she replied. Y/N held up her left arm, the Stones glowing. “Any last words before I end you and anyone you could possibly be allied with?”

“I am… inevitable."

“And I am your doom.”

Then she snapped her fingers and a blinding white light came over the battlefield.

next chapter >

I appreciate all likes, comments, asks, and reblogs! Thank you for all the positive support!

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOU TAG LIST:

BOTH:

@23victoria​

@azure23x​

@booknerd-3000​

@thewidowsghost​

@tuttifuckinfruttifriday​

@i-dumb-bitch​

@marinettepotterandplagg​

@booksarebae2000​

@roxytheimmortal​

@love-couldbe-my-weakness​

@bellamy-barnes​

@loveisallyouneed1125​

@paintballkid711​

@stuckupstucky​

@austynparksandpizza​

@sydney-m​

@fangirl-swagg​

@livinglikebritishroyalty​

@cspr-2​

@supernaturallover2002​

@laic2299​

@aubreeskailynn (won’t link)

@capstopavenger​

@bestofbucky​​

@irishfaulk97​​

@a--1--1--3​

@marauvdersfate​

@hallecarey1​​

@mjaudrey​

@osugahunnyicedtea​​

TONY:

@bispences (won’t link)

@topstory21​

@supernatural-bangtanboys​

@marvellover04 (won’t link)

@rapunzelskywalker1234 (won’t link)

@theofficialzivadavid​

@emmuut​

@mikariell95​

@celineann91​

[kaz11283]

Of Course I'm Here

Characters: Come on you know by now how this goes (Loki x you) (Team x you, platonic)

Warnings: None. And really if you ever see anything that I might need to able as a warning please let me know... I'm the person who forgets there are people out there that get offened by the word F*** if that is an exapmle of anything.

Summary: Mid battle and the avengers keep looking for an answer as to why the God of Lies hasnt showed up yet. Of course you have no idea but at least he proves them all wrong.

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME: hey guys Im back, I know it hasnt been long but I also know I havent been posting every single day like I was, i got into a weird little funk where I didnt want to do anything, I was just feeling completly drained, and I felt bad because I have my little and I didnt even want to play with her because I have just been so TIRED, but I'm feeling better. Work has been kicking my ass here lately and ive been working over 50 hours a week so ive literally been coming in, eatting / feeding the little, getting us ready for bed, and crashing as soon as she falls asleep. But im here now. I will probably be more active on weekends than during the week because I have more time to spend working on stuff but I will be posting also during the week just not daily. At least until after state comes. Thank you so much for the reblogs, likes, comments, follows, and messages please keep them coming! If you would like to be tagged please ask or message, and requests are open. Love you guys so much! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

"Y/N, BACK UP I NEED BACK UP! EYES IN THE SKY!" Tony yelled from above, you and Clint stood back to back on a roof top shooting as many bad guys as you could. Clint took aim at another carrier, shooting at the engine causing the entire thing to blow up raining debris and hot metal around you.

"Damnit Clint! Farther away make sure they are farther away!" You yelled popping him on the head with an arrow before aiming it at the thing that was chasing Tony.

"Where is lover boy at? You.sent him the location right?" Nat asked into the com.

"Yes I sent him the location, no I dont know where hes at." You mocked.

"Did you send him the right location?" Sam asked.

"One time, one dam-"

"Language!" Steve chimed in causing everyone to groan. Gun shots where ringing all around you and you could here metal on metal paired with Hulk screams coming from another building over.

"Language." You mocked muting your com son that no one but Clint heard you. "I am a 26 year old woman, I think I'm old enough to cuss if I want." You drew back your bow and sent another arrow flying into another goon that had Nat trapped aginst a wall. She shot you a thumbs up before running off. You hit unmute on your com.

"Jesus, 26? Baby, you sure you don't need to be at a babysitter instead of on a building killing things?" He laughed.

"Dont worry Hawk, when we get done here I've already booked you a nice nursing home to be put into." You put your bow around you and stood on the edge of the building. "I need a better view." You looked round, the top of a taller building caught you eye. "There Hawk, we can cover a better radius from up there, get closer to the action."

"DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN THE GODS ARE GOING TO BE HERE? WE NEED MORE HELP WERE GETTING TIRED AND OUT NUMBERED!" Tony came over the coms screaming.

"How do we get up there? Or do I even wanna know?" Hawk came to examin where you were talking about.

"Im jumping, you cant tell me that someone wont catch me." You shrug.

"GODS WHERE ARE TH- Y/N DONT YOU DARE JUMP!" Tony stopped and hovered right were you was standing.

"Then take us over there. We need higher ground, we cant cover everyone from down here." You crossed your arms.

"Where are the gods at y/n?" He asked again

"I. Dont. Know. Jesus you guys act like I'm suppose to be there keeper!" A simultaneous you are came from everone through the com causing you to roll your eyes. "Hes gonna be here I swear it! Now take me to the building or I jump. 1.....2....-" Tony grabbed you by the collar of your jacket and flew you to the building.

God these things were everywhere and you were starting to run out of arrows. After shooting another ship and causing it to blow you heard what was unmistakably pounding on the roof top door leading to where you currently was at.

"I have some univited guests about to join my party. Anyone available for some assistance?" You yanked out the two emerald green and silver daggars that your boyfriend had given you not long after you had started dating after throwing your bow around you.

"Buy some time kid, I'm on ground level right now but I can try to get up there as fast as possible." Bucky called over the com.

"Buy some time? Ok. I can do this. I work better from afar but a little hand to hand never hurt anyone, just easier to get stabbed this way." The first of the things busted through the door running straight at you. You jerked out of the way missing his staff by just a few inches. Quickly turning you flipped the dagger like Loki had showed you and stabbed him in his side causing him to fall to the ground before the next one tried to impale you.

"I have two daggers and they have freaking staffs! Back up! WHERE THE HELL AR-" you were interupted by static in the air and a bright light. The bitfrost had just opened up leaving to gods standing in front of you and taking out the remainder ofnthe bad guys. "HES HERE! I TOLD YOU GUYS THEY WERE COMING AND THEY'RE HERE." You pulled two extra coms from you pocket and gave them to Thor and Loki.

"Always a pleasure to battle beside you Lady y/n." Thor smiled takkng the com and putting it in his ear before taking off again.

Loki sauntered over to you and put his arm around you waist, you put the com in his ear as he rolled his eyes. He leaned down and gave you a quick kiss.

"You got a new outfit." You smiled at him. God the way he looked in his battle clothe always did something to you, the horned helment was a plus.

"You like it." He smirked down at you pulling you closer.

"Your wearing your horns to." You reached up and brushed a peice if hair behind his ear.

"STOP. STOP NOW. WE CAN HEAR EVERYTHING AND ITS GROSS." Tony yelled causing you both to roll your eyes.

"Quick run down, bad guys everywhere, no end in sight, and I'm out of arrows pretty sure Hawk is too." Loki waved his hand over your quiver making more arrows appear.

"I see you had to use your daggers. I am sorry for not being here. Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked stepping away from you to examin you.

"Small cut on the side, nothing I havent dealt with before, Ill be fine. You go make sure Hawk is fully stocked up and help the others. I got a birds eye view of you right here." I leaned in kissing him one more time before smiling at him and pushing him away. He kissed his two finger before placimg them over his heart and you did the same, "always." You both said before he disappered.

You could hear Thor laughing at the chaos going on and Steve trying to direct the god of thunder on what to do. You had learned earlier to just let him do his own thing and he would be fine. Tony was still trying to micromanage everything when you heard Loki mumble something in an old language and his com cut out. You had figured it wouldnt have stayed on to long though but at least you had tried. It had calmed down up on your end so you decided to finally go back down to where Clint was at shooting an arrow with heavy duty rope you glided back down next to him to watch what was going on.

"Hello, earth to y/n." He snapped his fingers in front of your face. You had been to busy staring at Loki and that damn helmet. "I dont even understand why were friends." He rolled his eyes propping up on the ledge watching as the rest of the team secured the last of the bad guys.

"Because we both shoot arrows, because we are both the best in the team, or because we both know we are the best looking one on the team so we have to stick together." You laughed jumping up so you could sit on the ledge.

"The birds can come out of their nest now." Bucky called over the coms causing you both to sigh.

When you and Clint had reached the bottom you walked over to Thor theowing your arms around the big goof ball.

"You are amazing during battle as always." He beemed patting you on the shoulder.

"As always? Thor youve only fought with her twice." Steve said beside you.

"I had a week off. Went to Asguard, spent time with the boys. Someone had to keep them in line." You shrugged like it was no big deal.

"She was amazing!" Thor went on telling the story of the fight you had all gotten into.

"Mothers been asking about you by the way dear. Wants to know if you've decided to come stay for a while." Loki leaned down and whispered in your ear.

"I think I'm leaning toward a yes. I can't stand being away from you, you had been gone forever this time." You reached for his hand as you both walked to the quinjet.

"I was making arrangements to have our room redone. I figured you would come with me." He gave you a knowing smirk as he reached up to take off his helmet.

"Leave the horns on. I have a suprise for you when we get home." You pulled his hand away from his head and smacked his butt.

"You are a little minx." He laughed chasing you into the jet while the rest of the team groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Even if you wasnt moving i would be kicking your ass out! I am so sick of the PDA between you two." Tony hollared after you.

"Leave them alone Tony, they are courting. Im just glad my brother is happy and not trying to stab me." Thor clapped Tony on the back.

~~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

[janiedean]

I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.

me: reads this ask

me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but

okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.

disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years

in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck

when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show

now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it

that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big

now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;

I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion

now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff

this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun

anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened

god j*nerys happened

aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN

and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah

this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no

(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)

I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo

there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I

there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried

tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*

so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents

[greekowl87]

Fic: Watching in the Shadows

A/N: I’ve had difficulty bringing myself to write anything since October. I had some personal issues to work through regarding my anxiety and life. I’m still trying to work through it right now but I managed to cobble this together over the past month. This isn’t my best work and I’ve probably done something like this before (another fic that was a post-ep of FTF), but I at least managed to write something. Sorry. If you've gotten this far, thanks again for taking the time to look it over.

Also, no beta. Is AO3 more your thing, you can read this here

Tagging @today-in-fic @improlificinsarcasm @suitablyaggrieved @baronessblixen

The nightmares had started shortly after Mulder’s one-in-a-million successful rescue and their daring seascape from Antarctica. Somehow, they had made it with some minor scrapes, bruising, and some frostbite. They came back to D.C. and it was questionable whether they still had jobs or not. The x-files had been burnt in a flash of lost hopes and dreams. Only the ashes were left, smeared by the boots of the notorious Them.

After their latest jaunt in Arizona chasing more would be aliens exploding from human chests and poor Gibson Praise, Scully wondered if God was trying to take a cue from James Cameron. That ended roughly too. In addition to the nightmares she refused to acknowledge, the added insecurity of Diana Fowley was like a harbinger of the future.

Scully twisted in bed, her cotton sheets coiling around her like a python. It was suffocating. She was in that weird twilight of waking and still traipsing through a dream. Those that said you didn’t dream of color were wrong. She remembered flashes of being locked in that tube with that thing shoved down her throat. The cold that had eaten into her bones and down to her core, making her feel brittle. She remembered seeing those gelatinous bodies in Texas and remembered her fear. That would be her. That would be her fate.

Of course, she wouldn’t tell Mulder. Why would he believe her anyway? His thoughts were up in the clouds trying to get their work back. Scully finally woke up gasping. Her hand clutched her chest to feel her racing heart, mentally calming herself that nothing had exploded out of her chest. Her fingers touched the tiny gold cross and she squeezed it so hard so it would be indented in her finger pads.

“I’m alive,” she whispered to the shadows in the room. “I’m alive.”

The fragments of memory were still there, just like something you couldn’t see out from the corner of your eye but you knew it was there. She glanced at the alarm clock. 4:01 am. It was a Saturday so she would not have gone to work. She could afford to sleep. But was she going to?

During the past six years, she did not get nightmares. Not normally anyway. There were a few after Pfaster and then with her cancer. Without ignoring the science...damn her own words. She turned out the bedside lamp and got out of bed. Without really thinking (it was still night in her opinion), she went to her kitchen and filled her teapot. As she tried to decide what tea to drink, she heard a light knocking on her door.

There would only be one person who would knock on her door this early (or late).

Scully opened it without ceremony, replying, “The last time you came to my door, you were drunk and dragged me across the country. It’s Saturday and I’m not going anywhere.”

He looked tired, worse than usual. The bags under his eyes indicated something much worse. He read her unspoken question. “I haven’t slept in over 24 hours, Scully. I’m not planning on anything. I just didn’t know where else to go.”

He knew what just to say to pull at her heartstrings. She took his hand and pulled him into her apartment, locking the door behind her. “I can’t either.”

“Nightmares?”

The word was effortless, showing just how well he knew her. “Something like that. I was about to make tea. Do you want some?”

“Do you have anything stronger?”

“How about we settle in the middle? A hot toddy? You can stay here in the meantime.”

“What? You’re not going to kick out self-deprecating and self-pitying Spooky Mulder?”

“Of course not,” she said. “Is that even a question?”

She selected two bags of Chai tea with two mugs. She went to another cupboard and stood on her tiptoes, trying to reach a rarely used bottle. In three easy strides, Mulder was behind her. “The rum?”

She nodded and felt him press behind her, easily getting the bottle. “Grog?”

She chuckled. “Not quite. Hot toddy. I think it might be better for helping get us back to sleep.”

“A sleepover?”

“A sleepover,” she chuckled. This is how she liked her Mulder and she felt those insecure thoughts replaced with a warmth that she had come to know. “Maybe I’ll let you even play twister.”

“Scully,” he chuckled.

“Go make yourself comfortable. I’ll be there in a second.”

She heard him kick off his shoes and take off his leather jacket, indicating he had no plans to leave anytime soon. Scully was fine with this. He flipped on her television, keeping the volume low. She laughed when she saw James Cameron’s ‘Alien’ come on and Mulder looked at her funny. “What?”

“I...it’ll sound stupid…” She shook her head. “Never mind.”

“Tell me,” he encouraged.

“I’ve had trouble sleeping since Antarctica.” She nodded towards the television. “My nightmares. I wonder if James Cameron is playing a role. I keep seeing myself back on that ship. And after...the face-hugger.” She motioned to her chest. “Bursting out in all the bloody glory.”

“But it didn’t, Scully. It didn’t.”

“Still doesn’t stop the nightmares.” She first added generous amounts of the spiced rum and then the Chai tea. “I was awake and aware when I was in that tube. Not all the time but I was awake. I remember. I remember the coldness...” She shook her head and her voice faded.

Mulder nodded gently. “I get the impression that you don’t want me to talk about the subject.”

“I don’t want to fight, Mulder. I don’t want to fight about the report, the work, or Fowley right now. I’m tired.” She rubbed her eyes. “Nor do I want to scold you on what happened in the Bermuda Triangle. We both know how stupid that was.”

Mulder was quiet. “I do trust your judgment, I do trust you. Without you...I probably would have been stuck in 1939 with no way home.”

“Mulder.”

“I do trust you,” he repeated, with more certainty. “More than anything.”

Scully nodded, satisfied with his response. She took the two mugs and walked them over. “So,” she said, “you had to pick Alien after I told you God is consulting with James Cameron?”

“Run of the luck. Do you want me to change it?”

“No, no. It’s fine.”

Mulder sipped the hot toddy, his eyebrows arching in surprise. “You didn’t go light.”

“No, but it works well together. Don’t you agree?”

“Very good.”

“So, Scully, since we’re having a sleepover, wanna play truth or dare?”

“Excuse me?”

“Truth or dare?” He smirked.

She was tired. Maybe her brain wasn’t working correctly. Maybe the lack of sleep had something to do with it. She decided to indulge him this time. “Truth.”

“Okay,” he paused. “What was your nightmare about?”

“Very smooth and not at all obvious.” He shrugged, sipped the hot beverage, and watched her. She sighed. “What could have been if you had not gotten to me in time when they took me.” She recognized that look and she hated it. “Stop profiling me.”

“I’m not.” He looked almost insulted. “I was just hoping to hear more. But it’s your turn. Truth or dare?”

“Truth. Ask your question, Scully so we both can get it over it.”

The sharpness in his voice took her off guard. “What are you talking about?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I asked you first.”

“Truth. No. Fact. I do love you.”

“I…” She felt panic rise in her chest. No. No, no, no. “Mulder…” He held his hand up and she grabbed it, shooing it away. This was getting out of hand. “Not like this. Quit messing with me, Mulder.”

She got up quickly and downed the scalding liquid. She winced. “I’m not.”

“It’s not funny,” she said again in warning. “Stop messing with me. This entire game is stupid. Why did I even let you talk me into this?”

Scully remembered how her mom used to force Melissa to include Scully in her sleepovers. Even though there were only two years between her and Missy, Scully always felt like the odd one out. Nerdy Dana who always had her nose buried in a science book. Why don’t you marry Einstein they would tease. As much as she loved her sister, that game left nothing but bitter memories for her.

Mulder frowned, surprised by her sudden reaction. He didn’t know why the words fumbled out of his mouth the way they did. But now that it had happened, he couldn’t see a reason why not. He watched her set the forgotten drink on the kitchen table and pace.

“Scully.”

“Why did you come here? Why did you come here, Mulder?” She wrapped her arms around herself. Maybe she was caught in the throes of another nightmare. “Answer me!”

“Do you want me to leave, Scully?” He asked. “If that’s what you want, I have no problem doing that.”

“I didn’t say that. Stop twisting my words.”

“Then come back here and sit down.”

After a moment’s hesitation, she bit her lip and nodded. She sat at the opposite end of the couch. Mulder suddenly felt the dynamic shift between them and it was like a game of chess. “For the record, I do not feel comfortable about this.”

“Noted. Now, what did you dream about?”

“The first time I was abducted, there was some trauma there. Bits and pieces. But this time was different. I dream that I die. You don’t come. That thing explodes out of me like those crime scene photos. I performed the autopsy on that body and saw what happened. That was going to become me.

“And I die to expect during all this, I am alive and I feel every sensation. I don’t know what is worse: knowing that I almost died from the virus or the chip in my neck.” Scully found herself confessing fears that she had managed to repress for the past year. “Ruskin Dam. Skyline Mountain. The cancer. And now this same Earth-based virus that we also found in Gibson Praise. What do you think it means, Mulder? It terrifies me.”

Mulder fumbled over her words in his mind. Where does he even begin? “I came here because I didn’t know where else to go. The bar…” He snorted with displeasure. “After what happened in Dallas, I was devastated. After almost losing you, well, let’s just say I got my priorities straight.”

“Priorities.”

What the hell was going on between them? “What are we doing here, Mulder?”

“What do you mean?”

“This. You come over at 4 am. Make me confess my soul.”

“It is Saturday so it’s not like we have to work.”

“We may not even have jobs.”

He held up a finger. “Prohibition period, remember? We do have jobs. We just to get to do background checks and chase shit around the country.”

“I don’t see what’s so great about it.”

“I have you. You’re still here with me. She wasn’t.”

“She?”

“Diana.”

Scully frowned at the mere mention of the name. “I still don’t see why you trust her or what you see.”

“She was there when I found the x-files. But who is here now, where she could still have a promising career in medicine despite the fact most of her patients are dead?”

“Except for one.”

Mulder smiled. “You’re still here. After all this, after all that we’ve been through. You’re the one I trust the most.” He sighed and sipped the hot toddy. “I still trust her because how could I not, Scully? But she’s not the one I went to at four am.”

She remembered going to him at the reflection pool at twilight, taking his hand, a wordless promise to each other. “Touché.” She relaxed. “Look, I’m sure you didn’t mean that…”

“I did.”

Shit. “Let’s put a pin in that thought,” she said quickly. Mulder sat his mug on her coffee table. “Coaster.”

He grabbed two and slid them across her oak coffee table. “Why is it so hard to wrap your mind around it?”

“Well,” she began, struggling to find her voice. “There’s different types of love. You love me like a friend, a sister, a comrade…”

“And then are is also the type between…”

He said this as she was trying to put her mug on the table but, uncharacteristically, the mug fumbled, spilling all over the table. “Shit.” The hot tea burned her hands and Mulder was already rushing back into her kitchen, grabbing towels and the ice pack. “Mulder…”

“I got it.”

He quickly cleaned up the mess and Scully took the extra towels. She wiped the mess off her hands and frowned at the red swelling starting on her knuckles. Mulder wrapped the ice pack in another towel and took her hands. “Mulder.”

“I gotcha, Scully.”

“Mulder, I’m fine.”

“Will you just let me?” The sharpness of his voice silenced her as he took her hands gently and held the ice pack against it. “I know you want to be this badass FBI agent…”

“Want to?”

“I know you are a big, badass FBI agent. Just let me for once?”

“Fine.”

They sat in silence as Mulder held the ice pack over the top of her hands. She cleared her throat. “I meant what I said, Scully. I do love you.”

She scoffed. “I’m sure.”

“You aren’t a replacement.”

Scully shook her head, refusing to believe him. “You always do this.”

“Do what?”

“Twist words.” She tried to pull her hands away from him without success. “Mulder, let me go.”

She felt Mulder squeeze her fingers tighter. “No.” He was staring at her. Those goddamn— “Look at me, Scully.”

Why did she feel tears in her eyes? Her eyes did feel dry from lack of sleep. “No.”

“Why not?”

“I’m sick of the lies.” She rested her chin on her chest. “I’m tired of the smoke and shadows. For once, I just want someone to tell me the truth and mean it.”

Mulder sighed. She winced hearing it. “What do you want me to do, Scully?”

“Tell me the truth.” She looked

“I am.” He removed the ice pack and kissed her knuckles. “I love you. You aren’t a replacement. Nothing could replace you.”

“Then what am I to you?”

“You’re Scully.” He looked at her as if that was even a question. “When it came to Samantha, I was able to live with it. I have for 27 years. But when I lost you on Skyline mountain…” Mulder put the ice pack back on her knuckles. “I couldn’t...I didn’t know what to do. I was filled with such rage. I almost killed Duane Barry. The months during your absence, I didn’t do so well.”

Scully watched him. “You rarely talk about it.”

“Because there isn’t too much to say. I took a couple of profiling cases. Coming back to the basement office—it didn’t feel the same. It wasn’t the same.” He nodded to the small gold cross on her neck. “I wore your cross when you were gone.”

She remained quiet.

He snorted derision and looked down at their hands. “It’s stupid. There was a point, right after you came back, that X wanted me to just take a plane ticket and leave you and forget everything. You. The x-files. The shadowy men without names. Everything.” He adjusted the ice pack. “And maybe, at one time I would, but not when it came to you.”

“Do you know why seeing run off with Agent Fowley hurt me?”

“Why?”

“It’s our work,” she specified, emphasizing the word ‘our.’ “She comes out of the woodwork and, all of the sudden, I take the backseat on this. I thought it was my science that kept you honest, Mulder.”

“Your science does,” he quickly caught himself, “quit twisting my words.”

“I’m not. My hands are fine, Mulder.”

“I guess they are.” He pulled back the ice and Scully flexed her numb hands. “Do you want another cup of tea?”

“Yes, please.”

“I left you with Gibson because I know he would be safer with you rather than Diana.”

“Yet, I still lost him.”

“No. He was at the nuclear facility. I have a hunch he is safe.” Mulder looked over his shoulder. “How generous, Special Agent Doctor?”

“Shut up. Make it a generous one.”

Mulder smiled and called, “Did you know I was a bartender for a couple of months in Oxford?” Scully’s mind was trying to reel with everything that was happening. But she forced her insecurities into the backseat and let Mulder take the lead. He frowned “If I were just here for something else, we’d be halfway across the country right now.”

“I don’t know if that is a good or bad thing, Mulder.” Scully watched the tv, flinching at a particularly gory scene with a face hugger. “Do you have nightmares?”

“Hm?” Mulder shrugged with his back to her. “Sometimes. That’s one of the reasons why I don’t sleep.”

Scully was quiet as Mulder returned to her with a new mug of hot Chai tea. She took it and sipped the mug. “Good. Thank you.”

“And for the record, Scully, the nightmares aren’t just of Samantha. It’s you too.”

She closed her eyes, annoyed with this vein of conversation. “Is that why you decided to profess your undying love?”

“I thought it was a good moment. But that’s not all of it.” Mulder rejoined her on the couch. “Are you ready to talk about that?”

“I still think you’re full of shit.”

He laughed and sipped his hot toddy. “That’s why my eyes are brown.”

“Hazel.”

“I’m only half full of shit then.”

Scully snorted into her drink. “I honestly don’t know what to believe.”

“I want to believe,” Mulder teased in a fake E.T. voice. She snickered playfully and slapped his thighs. “See? Made you smile. Careful. It might stay that way, Scully.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay,” he said. He checked his watch. “It is almost 4:30 am, Agent Scully. Your guest is intoxicated. What are you going to do?”

“I thought we were having a sleepover?”

“Did I say that?”

“You’re words, not mine.”

“At least take off your shoes.”

She heard Mulder kick them off and he grabbed the remote. He changed the tv to the Sports Channel. After seeing raise a questioning eyebrow, he shrugged. “So, do you watch Sports Center or a movie to fall asleep to?”

“What happened to Truth or Dare?”

“Okay, truth, or dare?”

“Dare,” she said.

“I dare you to have a sleepover on your couch.” That eyebrow. “Just...whatever we are, Scully.”

After a few moments of hesitation, she nodded. Scully felt him squeeze her hands and smile. She stood still like a painting. He smiled at her and she forced herself to return it. Mulder unwound her like a knotted piece of string and lounged himself. Despite their height differences and oppositeness, they still were made for each other. Scully found herself curling up next to him as he grabbed the remote and changing it to a 4 am playing of ‘Mystery Science Theatre 3000.’ Mulder grabbed a knitted, over large Afghan from the back of her couch to tuck around them.

“What does this say to you, Agent Mulder?”

“I love you,” he whispered. He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “And I tell you without hesitation.”

Scully was quiet. “Why did you come here again?”

“There’s nowhere else where I would rather be.”

“Good enough for now.”

Scully quickly ran through possible scenarios. What did she have to lose? Everything. “This won’t change anything.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want to lose us,” she replied cautiously.

“This will change nothing. If not, only for the better.”

She wisely chose not to say anything. She tried to relax but she shook her head. She pushed away towards the other end of the couch. There was a visible look of hurt on his face. “It’s not you,” she replied quickly.

“Yeah, I’ve heard it before. It’s me.”

“For once, it’s is me, Mulder. I can’t...I can’t get past my insecurities.”

“What insecurities?”

She ghosted him a smile. “The hallway? Either we have really bad timing or bees don’t like us.”

“Or?”

“You mentioned it earlier. I don’t want to be a replacement for Samantha or her…”

“Her?” It took a moment for Mulder to recognize what she was telling him. “Why do you say that?”

“I overheard what you said to Arizona. She’s staying on the x-files because it’s the best way to represent your interests. Before that, when we still had the office, I caught you all holding hands. She seemed so excited about something. That is when I called you. I told you I was driving back. I was just sitting in the car in the garage outside.”

“Watching in the shadows?” Mulder sighed. “Scully…”

“I feel like I’ve been on the outside a lot lately.” She sipped her hot toddy, the alcohol burning in the back of her throat. “So I can’t help but feel somewhat insecure. Just talking about it…” She snorted into her mug of tea. “It’s taking a lot.”

“I can understand that.”

“Do you?”

He hesitated. “I...like to think so.” Mulder leaned forward. “I know things have been tough. Honestly, I’m surprised you’re still here.”

She titled her head in question. “What do you mean?”

“I thought that you have left. Maybe try to go back to Quantico or quit the FBI all together.”

“I almost did that night when they told me Salt Lake City. But you’re my partner, Mulder. It’s as simple as that.”

He took her free hand and entwined their fingers. “And for that, I am grateful for that of every moment of every day. Do you want to know the difference between you and her?”

“Our heights?”

Mulder snorted in muted laughter. “I guess, physically, but where it counts, you tower above her.”

She arched a skeptical eyebrow.

“She left me. No warning or note. Just up and left. I haven’t been in contact with her since she left. She wouldn’t have chased me like you have or been thrown in contempt of Congress for lying to save my ass.” Scully smiled as she looked down. “She wouldn’t have thrown everything out the window to deal with her crazy partner. You are so much more than she was, or is, Scully.” He brushed her hair out of her face. “And I have never loved anyone more than I love you. Truth. I meant what I said in that hospital. I love you.”

“You really overcomplicate things.”

Mulder shrugged and grinned. “So, Scully, where does this leave us?”

The insecurities raged inside her and she averted her gaze. “I’ve had nightmares about this too,” she said softly.

“Why does it always feel like we are watching from the shadows?” He asked her softly. “Especially in our nightmares? We feel like we don’t have control?”

“I don’t know. I thought you were supposed to be the psychologist?”

“It was rhetorical.”

“I know.” She sighed and looked at the tv for a distraction. “After all we’ve been through, Mulder…”

“What about it?”

“I do love you.” She said as quickly exhaled so it came out in a jumble of words. Scully doubted he had heard her. But his playful grin suggested otherwise. “You heard it?”

“Ears like a fox.”

Mulder bent forward again to kiss her again, forgoing all shyness. She felt him bring her closer, snaking his arms around her. He sighed audibly before she returned it with much gusto. Senses alight for both of them, Scully managed to be the level headed one between them both. “Mulder,” she breathed. “I hardly think this is the place?”

He pulled back and blinked in confusion. His senses were drunk off her that it was heard from him to make sense. “What?”

“I don’t think the couch Is the best place for this.”

“Why?”

He was only now capable of single-word answers and questions. She smiled. She felt lighter. The nightmares that had plagued the back of her mind for months now seemed like a distant memory. “Just because.”

It seemed like she was incapable of speaking too. She pushed the Afgan aside and got to her feet. The cups were forgotten and Mulder clicked off the television. Words failed them but their unspoken communication did otherwise. He took her hand and squeezed. “Are you certain?”

“No,” she admitted truthfully, “but I know what I feel. I’ve learned to trust my instincts.”

Mulder smiled. She led him to her bedroom. She kept the lamp near her bed on and he looked at her tossed sheets. He exhaled, letting out a heavy sigh. “I wish you would have told me sooner.”

“What would you have done, Mulder?”

“Acted sooner.”

“Well, you’re here now, right?”

“Of course. You haven’t kicked me out yet.”

“I’m not planning to.”

Scully took his hands and pulled him closer. She felt emboldened and the room felt hotter than it was. He smiled. “So…” She grabbed him by the scruff of his t-shirt and pulled him downwards. Mulder’s spine protested but he didn’t care. Let Scully take the lead. His arms reached downwards to bring her closer. Suddenly, she felt frozen. Just a second ago she had felt so confident. Now, she was unsure. “What’s wrong?”

“Are you certain about this?” Her voice was soft but the lingering hesitation could be heard. “About this thing between us?”

“Yes, I’m more certain than anything else.”

“Okay.” There was another pause. “So...how do we do this?”

“We just do,” he laughed.

She shook her head and said, “Isn’t this better than a stakeout, watching in the shadows for some would-be informant, and then finding out it was a waste of time.”

“Scully, are you proposing role-playing?”

“No. It’s just…” She laughed despite herself. “I never imagined this.”

“Are you certain you want to go through with this? You don’t have to if you’re…”

“No, I want this.”

Mulder kissed her softly at first but deepened it. He walked her backward to her bed until she bumped up against it. Mulder smiled as pushed her to sit down. “It’s, uh, been a while.”

“Same.”

He sat next to her and laughed. “I expected this to be different.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’re going to do this, aren’t we? I expected it to be a bit more...fevered? And look at us, like two scared virgins.”

Scully laughed. “So, Mulder, do you want me to take the lead?”

He rolled his eyes. “Or we can just go back to watching TV. I’m sorry. I guess it’s the sleep deprivation talking.”

“We aren’t watching TV. I thought we were having a sleepover. At some point, we do have to sleep.” She got to her knees and pushed him onto his back. “Besides, Mulder, we’ve come this far. When have we ever done anything halfway?”

“What have you done with Dana Scully?”

“Invasion of the body snatchers?”

Scully felt her courage return. She swung her leg over his hip and straddled him. “Now, correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t remember this being a part of a sleepover.”

“Well, it’s a thing between partners, right?”

She slid lower, squeezing her thighs in the process. He grunted in response. “Right. I’m not complaining by the way. I was just stating.”

She hummed. She was alight was all new sensations. Mulder let his hands drop to her waist. “I like those pajamas by the way. It’s not silk for once.”

“Cotton.”

“Huh.”

“My mom says…”

He couldn’t take it anymore. “I don’t care what your mother said.”

His long arms twisted around her and pulled her down. She braced herself, sticking her hands out on either side of his head to brace the impact. She collided into an Earth-shattering kiss. Stranger thing how time and physics worked. She sighed happily as her tongue delved into his mouth. This was good. “This is wonderful,” she whispered between breaths.

“Do you know what makes this better?”

“What?”

“Give me some control?” She paused. “Do you trust me, Scully?

“Yes.”

He smiled. “You know that you’re the only one I trust, right?”

“Do you?”

Instead of answering her, he skillfully changed their positions so she was laying on her back and he was laying on her side. His left hand carefully undid the button down her pajama top. She breathed sharply at the first contact of his fingertips caressing the swell of her breast. “I do.” He watched her thoughtfully. “You see, before you...I had a few partners. They came and went. It was like they wanted nothing to do with me. But you...you challenged me, you made me better. I can’t place the exact moment but it may have been laughing with you in that graveyard in Oregon at five o’clock in the morning.”

She hissed at his touches. “That was nearly six years ago.”

“So, I like a slow burn. I have never felt this way about anyone except you.” She laughed but she bit her lips to keep herself from crying out. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Do your nightmares involve this, Scully?”

“I don’t let myself indulge in such fantasies.”

“Why not?”

He was growing bolder with his explorations. She sighed and closed her eyes. “Lately, with everything, I don’t know.”

“What do you say we change that?”

He bent down to kiss her again and pushed up on her top. He wasn’t rushing nor did she mean his slow advances. Soon, she found herself growing restless. “Mulder?”

“Hmmm?”

“Enough of this. Let’s finish this.”

This is not how neither one of them imagined things. Scully had it imagined it fast and quick after the turmoil from a case. Mulder, on the other hand, imagined it slow after one night of verbally sparing with one another. Who needed guidance when you had your better half?

The lamp remained on. There was no hiding from this. Six years of tension resolved.

The clothes were peeled artfully like it was nothing new. She laughed between their kisses. “At least I don’t have to save you this time.”

He suckled her hungrily. “You already did. A long time ago.”

Mulder reached to turn out the light on her nightstand and Scully grabbed his wrist, stopping him. “No, leave it on.”

The first time was always awkward. They both remembered being told that my friends when they were teenagers. “I expected this to be different,” he admitted.

“Mulder, shut up.”

“This has got to be a sleepover for the record books.”

At the clock turned 5:00 and the red numbers faded against the lamplight, Mulder continued. Clothes were shed, and they crawled beneath the covers. The fire ignited and fears were extinguished. Gone was the cold that plagued the nightmares and shadows that kept them in hiding. Their bodies entwined, just as their souls had been for years.

Their ecstasy came to a crescendo as Scully felt her last orgasm leave her and Mulder followed soon after. He was laughing as he rolled off to the side and she grinned like a fool. He started to laugh too and any tension that remained fade as she came down from her high.

“Well, I certainly don’t remember sleepovers being like that,” he remarked.

Scully could hear the fatigue in his voice, finally evident from someone who had not slept in over 24 hours. She smiled goofily and nodded toward the window. “The sun is coming up.”

“How can you tell?”

“It’s summer and during that time, the sun comes through the window sometimes. It’s been so long. I can’t remember the last time I stayed in bed this late.”

“We haven’t been here that late.” He yawned and pulled her closer. “Where are you going?”

“Give me a sec.”

She reached to turn out the light and moved to get out of bed. “Where do you think you’re going? And why did you turn out the light?”

“Because, Mulder, this is supposed to be a sleepover,” she said, “and we need to sleep.”

“And based on what scientific evidence?”

“I’m a doctor.”

He watched her jog nude across the bedroom in the dark shadows to open up the blinds slightly to let in the morning light. She rushed back to bed. “Oh, your cold,” he complained.

“Knock it off.”

Scully reclaimed her spot next to him. They both turned beneath the covers to face the newly opened blinds as the early morning light began to shine through. “No more shadows, Scully.”

“No more shadows.”

[darkwritingsnshit]

Unwanted Attention

Warnings: This is a dark fic, please  don’t read if you’re under 18, or are uncomfortable with dark characters, kidnapping, drug mention, noncon, asshole characters.

You were sick of this, sick of working with Loki; he was a trickster and a liar who entertained himself at other’s expense. You agreed to one mission with Thor, Rocket and Groot that went sideways, and you were joined my Thor’s mischievous brother that now you couldn’t seem to get rid of him.

Eager to get back to the stars, you decided to go on the next mission with Thor and Rocket. Unbeknownst to you, the Liar in Chief decided to tag along, something you didn’t realize until you were putting your things away in your narrow sleeping quarters. When you turned around in the closet sized room, you found a tall black-haired man blocking your doorway.

“I’d say something about how cozy your room is, but it’s downright claustrophobic my dear,” Loki smirked.

“Not like I’ll be spending much time here, you need to move, I have things to do.” The god’s presence irked you. You didn’t trust him at all, and in truth you saw him only as a snake in the grass.

“That’s not very polite, did you leave your manners back on earth?” Loki still didn’t move, just cocked his head, eyes shining.

“Look,” you started, “I don’t trust you and I’m not sure why you of all people in the universe would want to tag along on a resupply mission. I need to do my job without anyone getting in the way, got that?” You weren’t combative, just firm and already tired of Loki’s distractions.

“Well I certainly wouldn’t want to get in the way of your responsibilities, would I?” He stepped back and made a sweeping gesture with his arm, bowing his head. You just rolled your eyes and strode past him, making your way to the bridge to see what you could do to help.

  It had been a week hurtling through space in a small ship towards coordinates Carol had sent Rocket so you could drop off medical supplies and rations for a war-torn planet. Thor, Rocket and Groot were good company to keep, though Loki would continue to tag around your periphery and disappear when you turned to take a better look.

“You kids ready back there? Its gonna be a bumpy landing!” Rocket yelled into the back of the ship where you were strapping down for impact.

You were ready for the landing, going over the schematics of the loading dock in your mind. The mission was simple enough; deliver medical supplies and food via the loading dock, then place and blow charges on a dam holding the water back from the planet’s citizens. Carol was fighting the larger battles that Thor seemed eager to join, but needed help running supplies to starving bystanders of interplanetary war.

The touchdown wasn’t nearly as bad as some of the landings you’d been through, and you were able to hurry off the ship to get the manifest sorted out with the docking manager. Standing back, you watched as supplies were offloaded from the ship, Thor and Groot conversing with a local who would point you to the dam, and Rocket yelling at people for touching his ship. Missing was Loki, but you figured he didn’t want to help out, and didn’t care enough to look for him.

Finding the large dam that was holding back the drinking water from thirsting citizens was easy to find. The creek beds the locals showed you to were almost imperceivable in the cracked earth, and the three of you followed them up until a looming wall came across the horizon.

“I am Groot,” Groot grunted as he craned his head back to look at the size of the damn thing. The walls seemed to be made of a rough, black rock and it was hard to tell how thick they were. It stretched across a wide gorge, making the Hoover Dam look dwarflike in comparison.

“I couldn’t have said it better myself, my friend,” Thor echoed his sentiments, and you didn’t need a translator to understand. “What’s the security situation?” Thor turned to you; eyebrow raised.

You raised your arm, pointing to the top of the dam where there were floodlights and armed guards that were dots in the dim light.

“A dozen armed guards on the top, and two large guns there, and there,” you pointed at the far ends of the dam, where the side of the gorge met the black stone. “Floodlights make a pass every 10 minutes, and there’s a motion security sensor around the perimeter.”

From where the three of you were, you could see the looming dam, and hear the river rumbling like a jet engine below. Looking down into the darkness of the gorge you shouted to be heard.

“Our entry point is the river! Down there!” You took a step towards the edge and readied yourself for the climb down.

It turned out that it was nice to have Thor with you while climbing down into the dark. When it was hard to see, he simply lit up his fingertips to light the way. You thought it was hilarious. It took around half an hour to make it to the entry point, and you were thoroughly soaked and had cramped muscles.

“All right, Thor, Groot, you set the charges up the sides of the dam. I’ll cover the base charges, I’m not climbing shit. You should have eight and a half minutes before the next floodlight sweep, think you can pull it off?” You held out explosives to the two of them that they readily took.

“I am Groot.” Groot replied, which Thor met with a laugh.

“Don’t worry, I promise that we won’t let you down. We will see you shortly.” With a smile, Thor began to scale the side of the dam, while Groot took off sprinting in the other direction.

It was a wider dam than you had thought, you hoped to have enough explosives to bring it all the way down. If it wasn’t enough to level the place, it would at least be enough to cause almost irreparable damage. You radioed Rocket your position before you set off to lay the explosives, but he didn’t respond over the channel.

“Rocket come in, we’re about to secure the package.” You were met with static. “Rocket? Rocket stop yelling at people over bullshit and come in, you need to be ready to go!” You huffed an impatient sigh, bouncing between one foot and the other. Rocket knew the timeline, and he knew where you would be… Thor and Groot were already off, it was down to the minutes here.

“Rocket, I’m securing the package. Be ready for a quick departure, over.” You clipped your radio and set off sprinting to place your charges.

One you set to go at the base of a concrete pillar supporting the left side of the dam, the middle was your next target.

   Something was wrong, you heard it before you saw the lights. Sirens blared before floodlights began to sweep the walls of the dam. Shit, something was wrong. By your calculations, the three of you had another five minutes to set and go before the next floodlight search. Three airships with lights and manned guns hovered over like low, ominous clouds.

“Stop your activity, you are surrounded!” Came a voice from loudspeakers. “Cease all movement or we will open fire!”

Fuck. You were fucked. Maybe Thor could fight his way out of this, Groot may be able to slip off into the landscape surrounding the chaos, but you were well and truly fucked. You saw lightning flash above you and saw one of the aircrafts going down. Your smile was short lived as flashlights blinded you, a squadron of well-armed men marching towards you, weapons drawn.

Flashlights made it impossible to see the faces of the men who handcuffed you and took you by the arms, marching you back the way you’d come. There was an open aircraft that you were directed into flanked by soldiers, though it was still hard to see in the dark as you took off. You didn’t need to see his face to recognize the honeyed voice that you never truly trusted.

“I’m so glad you made it back in one piece, love.” Sensing him somewhere behind your right shoulder, you stepped back and tried to shove backward with your body weight. Hands met your shoulder and you were prevented from pushing back; Loki was stronger than he seemed.

“What have you done?” You hissed at him. Light was returning to the aircraft as you neared the dock you had left the supplies at. People were running around below you, pushing crates, yelling at each other, flashing money to get a job done faster. “Loki, those aren’t our people! What the hell did you do?” You turned to look at him, the lights flashing through the craft making eerie shadows across his face.

“Darling, there are people willing to pay for these supplies, and pay good money. You didn’t think I’d really be interested in some humanitarian mission? Please.” He rolled his eyes and he pushed you forward as the ship landed.

Shoved back onto the loading dock, you looked for anything that may help you out of your situation. A screwdriver, a knife, something to get your hands free and you could work something out. Scanning the docking bays, you saw strange men on Rocket’s ship, and an angry raccoon nowhere to be found.

Surrounded by a squadron of men with guns, you were ushered to the side while Loki and a few other men stood together and had what looked like a serious discussion. You needed something to get out of here. There was a pistol strapped to the hip of each man surrounding you, but you were more interested in the knife tucked into their left boots. If you were going to do something this stupid and risky, you had better be quick about it.

Grasping your stomach in pain, you doubled over to the ground while those around you looked concerned.

“You there, what’s wrong with you?” a man at the front barked in your direction.

“I’m fine, I’m sorry I’m just hurt.” You stood again, tucking a knife into your sleeve. Time seemed to be on your side as Loki spoke and lightning flashed across the sky. When you finally were able to slip loose of the handcuffs, you kept them in position so as not to give away your escape. You waited until everyone speaking with Loki had raised their voices before ducking low, grabbing a pistol and running for the bays.

You weaved between the pillars and ship parts in the landing bay, angry that your own footsteps were slapping so loudly against the stone floor. You could hear them behind you shouting and getting closer. Blindly you shot behind your shoulder and heard a thud. You let out a sharp laugh but dodged too late sidestepping a pillar. Stone smashing into your shoulder, you were wheeled around by 90 degrees by a hand on your upper arm tightening painfully.

“Did you think I was going to let you run away, after everything I’ve done for you today girl?” He had pulled you close to him, anger radiating off his body. Thinking fast, you jammed your foot down into his knee as hard as you could, slipping from his grip, buying yourself an extra second.

Raising your arm, you fired the pistol to have it wrenched from your grip by a stronger hand. You dropped the gun and made a sweeping motion with the last thing you had, the knife. You weren’t sure if it was amusement or anger that flashed across his face, but Loki eyed your knife with a glint in his eye.

“Don’t start games you can’t finish,” he warned you with a cocked head.

There was a clap of thunder and a shriek of lightning that lit up the bay, setting fire to a nearby craft. Taking advantage, you stepped forward to get a clear shot of Loki’s kidneys, hoping to pull the blade around and do some damage.

Try as you might, he was faster than you, catching your hand and twisting it painfully until you shrieked, and the knife clattered to the ground.

“You should have stopped trying to fight me while it was still cute,” he snarled. He twisted your body around and pulled a syringe from his pocket. Loki dug the needle into your skin, searing hot as he pushed down. “Now I just have to make an example out of you.”

[star-crossed-shipper]

Thanks for the tag @some-dam-french-fries

Top three ships: Analogical (Anxiety x Logic from Sanders Sides), Merthur (Merlin x Arthur from BBC Merlin), and Drarry -duh- (Draco x Harry from Harry Potter)

Last song: Wolf In Sheep's Clothing - Set It Off

Last Movie: in theaters? Frozen 2 I think but my memory do be dumb. On tv/phone? Megamind on Netflix (it is a cinematic masterpiece and I will watch it as many times as I like, thank you)

Reading: Sophie's World by Jostein Gardeer

Three random facts about me:

I wanna take up something related to philosophy or maybe psychology when I get older.

I'm actually NOT A POPULAR BLOG FOR GOD'S SAKE

I'm not a cat person OR a dog person- how tf am I supposed to choose?

Whoever is interested can do this tag and say they were tagged by me. Idk, I dont wanna put any pressure. But to all my followers, I'd love to get to know you better, please feel free to do this!

[jpat82]

Stupid Wonderful Tesseract

@zombiebunny97 sorry this is sooo late.

17.) cute little blade you got there

11.) did I tell you how beautiful your eyes are when the sun hits them?

1.) can you be serious for once? - I tried that, worst two minutes of my life.

A/n: some endgame reference but mostly from infinity war.

You stood with your back to the sun, the warmth spreading out across your bare shoulders as you leaned forward against the stone railing, watching the water ripple out beneath you. It had been.. what only seemed like days but in fact over five years. You closed your eyes to the beauty of the park that surrounded you, the deep greens on the trees, with soft little pink flowers that spring brought. The soft fragrance of the lilacs nearby, everything perfect and as how it should be. Except for the one glaringly thing wrong, the absence of him.

You flicked your switchblade, as you tried not to let the lone tear slip past your lashes but failed at it. Five years, he had been gone for five years, in the blink of an eye.

He had returned to Asgard but had still found a way to visit from time to time, and when he did it was like time stood still and the world around the two of you evaporated.

You would whole yourself up in your apartment, and spend your time with just him and him alone. The tv off, attention only focused each other, whispering sweet nothings, soft caresses, gentle and often time fierce kisses. He could flip from the tentative lover to the commanding prince the world had seen him as. But he was yours and you loved him all the same.

Some nights when you’d lay in bed, thinking about him you could still hear his voice. Softly talking to you hushed tones, whispering his love to you. Then you would roll over only to be greeted by a cold bed and an empty pillow.

You took a deep breath, it was time move. You couldn’t stay here, not with out him. Everything in the city reminded you of the absent trickster god. The places you had been, where you had met, even the cherry blossoms hanging in the canopy of green that made the park so beautiful. Sighing heavily to yourself, it was a hard decision, leaving your life behind but you couldn’t wallow in the emptiness that New York provided.

“Cute little blade you got there.” The smooth familiar voice spoke up from behind you, causing your heart to flutter and your fingers to tremble.

Your eyes pop open for a brief moment in disbelief. It couldn’t be true, just another mirage, a phantom echo, the past hell bent on destroying you further.

“Oh, Loki. If only you were here.” You whispered softly, the moisture on your lips salty as the words left them. Slowly you closed your eyes once again, trying to dam the flow as tears continued to slip down your cheeks.

“But darling, I am.” He stated as you heard soft foot steps approach you from behind.

Biting down on your lip you slowly turned, eyes shut, in case, in case this was all just a dream.

“You’re gone.” You whispered shakily.

“I am very much here.” He replied, the warmth of his palm slowly spreading out cross you cheek. Slowly you opened your eyes, only to be greet by those eyes you had come to know so well. Raven black hair, shorter then it had been a while, he dressed as he had been the first time you had met him, in green and black leather.

“How? Thor said Thanos killed you.” Your voice just barley above a whisper, eyes searching his for some kind of answer.

“Can’t keep the god of mischief down, you of all people should know that pet.” He told you light heartedly, giving you a playful wink.

“Can you be serious for once?” You asked staring him, still trying make since of the man that stood before you.

“I tried that, worse two minutes of my life.” Loki responded rolling his eyes as he took a step up to the railing beside you, your eyes tracking his movement.

“How are you here? Thanos snapped your neck after he strangled you. Plus the ship you had been on was destroyed. How, Loki, how!” You demanded, your voice beginning to rise as you look him over.

Loki stared out over the water for a bit, allowing the silence to wash over you both. The rustling in the trees and the cool air nipping at your bare arms reminded you that this wasn’t a dream. He looked over his shoulder to you, giving you a soft smile.

“The Loki you had known, the one from the past decade is very much dead, my love.” He replied, gauging your reaction.

“But.. you’re here?” You stated perplexed.

“I am. The life you have lived with the Loki you know only exists for you. I escaped the capture in New York when Thor’s friends attempted to steal the Tesseract.” He replied, slowly he looked back over the pond. “I have no idea, my love, how or why. That’s how I’m here I used the Tesseract to find you, though I was not expecting this. I knew something was a miss, something had caused them to try and steal it.”

“I don’t understand?” You asked, finally raising your hand and laying it on his forearm.

“I don’t quite understand it myself my darling, all I know is I am here now.” Gently he laid his hand on your hand.

“Loki.” You said softly feeling your tears well up again.

“Did I tell you how beautiful your eyes are when the sun hits them?” He stars as you flung your arms around him, his own encircling you.

“God bless that stupid wonderful Tesseract.” You laughed light pulling away a bit just give him a brief kiss before burying yourself against his chest again.

Permanent tag-

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Loki/Tom

@theoneanna @jewels2876 @devilbat @sarahivi

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

I've only raised one daughter.

All my other kids were raised by the Rocho sisters at some point in their lives.

They used to go by row-sh-o. In NYC

In Oklahoma I renamed them to rock-o.

They were in a military family.

The mom was always pregnant, lived on the 3rd floor right in front of the elevators

I saw them coming in from Iraq. I had just gone down the lobby stairs closest to my apartment. And I saw Queen Elizabeth 2 escort the dirtiest skinniest kids i ever seen.

I decided they were worth more than a morning of playground free time for me.

I hijacked their elevator. "Floor?"

"3 already been pushed" replied E2 "their father is coming home on the ship from deployment. They must be present. You must go home. You must not follow me"

"Okay. I will follow her." I pointed to what must have been the oldest according to height.

qE2 put on her hate face. "Look you either deal with me. Or i call security"

"Fine. I pick you" haha Pokemon "but don't mess with me"

"Haha i promise" dam watching her walk in the apartment i was glad it was a upstairs one bec had it been an,even number with downstairs, I would pushed her...thst would not been,me messing..,thwt would been fighting tho

The kids didn't want to talk or play or be "normal" and every bone could be seen.

"Queen i need to leave. I need to go to the store. Can i have some money?"

"NO"

"Fine I'll just steal."

"Go. Get caught go to jail"

"Okay" i took the closest bag i found, dumped the clothes in the floor and ran out and down the stairs screaming so no one would follow

I went to the exchange (now called BMX) and got each a nice blue or pink t-shirt nice and clean. A doll each and a couple trucks each. I put them in the cart. At the check out. I told the cashier. "I am going to steal the queen said i could. Ask my dad err uncle may be Billy Jennings he will pay"

I ripped off the tags of all i could and left them in the bagging area of the check out lane and showed the trucks i was taking.

Stuffed them in the bag. "Bye! Im getting some food! Oh wait I'll get some candy! Grabbed Hershey plain chocolate bar for the adults to share one of and Skittles for the kids a bag each. "I'll be in apartment 3 in front of the elevators"

"Which building?!"

"Ask Billy!"

It wss building 877. Apt 320 or something. Idk. But i rarely left the building, and only 1 building had an apartment right in front of the elevators and only 4 had elevators.

So it would be easy to find me. It would take a minute but i would have time to return before the police got there.

I went to the commissary and got 3 bunches of bananas and an Apple and ran like Hell before anyone stopped me after pausing at the cash register, I got bananas and an Apple and flew past!.

People from the exchange were already after me "i got hostages! Call my dad! Billy Jennings!! Call the police now! Tell them I'm under arrest from apartment 3 in front of the elevators!!"

Im running and dodging people,moms with toddlers trying to Get into shop.

The manager from the exchange gave up "okay! Im calling your dad! He work by the ferry?!?".

I was at the end of the dock "yes!" I stopped and leaned on the rail beginning to cry.

"You'll be okay!!"

I paused to look out at the world one last time.

"Go!!"

I took a deep breath. Gathered God's love. "Thanks!!"

And took off like a rocket. Everything around me was a blur. Flew up the end stairs past security looking for me and down the hall.

I was already past 20 apartments by the time he came up the stairs, in front of the apartment. "Call my dad!!!"

The door opened. The security slammed agaisnt the wall to not be seen

"Who are you talking to?!"

"Oh someone in the elevator one of my dad's friends always rides asking how he's been. Idk So i said to call"

"Oh he will be okay. Hes still not in China"

"Oh so he is. Is he making toys like these?" I began handing out the gifts i stole. "We also need to do laundry. These clothes are a mess they stink to high Heaven, too. Here girls you take those off and put these on"

I stole food every day. Often i would from the Community Store. Like a gas station kinda.

I would ask for a bag up front and fill it full. And take it to the girls.

Eventually they wanted me to stop. But i wouldn't so i had to keep a tab. Idk who paid it. But i stole whatever. Bread. Beans. Soup. Twinkies.

The youngest. The happiest died. I still cry. The most vocal. Beautiful child. I dream of her. She's in a huge Christmas coat beautiful. And Hondo takes her hand and takes her away. Every time. She said she wanted to not live that life. And wanted to die because she felt freedom better than i could give.

I understood. I still do.

But i cry. A child so small. To have such a great understanding of the world. I almost wished i could went when she asked. But i knew i had to fight. I told her, you enjoy life. We forgive you.

....

The 2 Stephanies went to Okmulgee High School. I went to Preston High School.

I switched years with my younger brother. So I was actually 3 years younger than everyone else. But never looked it. In fact i never looked my age. I was 6 and people thought I was 14.

Stephanie and i were both Juniors in High school. Grade 11. And we were allo2ed to go to vo tech in the afternokn or morning. For carpenter, nurse, office, etc

We all picked Vo Tech Computers in the afternoon.

Nothing short of a miracle.

Then we planned escapes. With the Doug's and eventually Keith's.

That's how they became the Rocho's pronounced rock-o's

...

And thank God somehow all of my kids but one have gotten to the Stephanies to be cared for by them.

Their love is no different than mine. Because I gave them all of mine every chance I got.

And soon my last child to have not met will get to.

And my life will be complete.

No more crimes.

[codee21]

Tagged: All About Me and Fanfic

Thank you for the tag @atypical-snowman !! <3 These are all really great questions, I can’t wait to dive in.

1.  At what age did you start writing fanfiction?

I started writing fanfiction at the ripe old age of seven. It was second grade, and my teacher asked us to write short stories. Most of my classmates wrote about talking pets, or just a fun day in the life of a character with a name one letter different from their own. ... I wrote a self-insert Peter Pan fanfic. I turned it in, and the teacher absolutely loved it. She made me read it in front of the entire class, which was both very embarrassing and very rewarding. From that moment on, I was hooked on writing and the rush it gave me. I kept writing fanfiction, though I didn’t know it by that name at the time, as well as my own original work. It wasn’t until I discovered Quizilla in eighth grade that I published my first fic - another self-insert, this time for Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare.  I kept writing original works through high school, then picked up the fanfiction gauntlet again when I was nineteen and have kept on with it since.

2.  Who is your favorite author?

Oh god oh god I can’t choose one. Uhhhhhhh.... Okay. I’m just gonna list some people who I’m really super into reading right now from the IronStrange fandom, though there are so many more writers who I enjoy: twobettafish (doesn’t everyone love them?), @visionarygalaxy, @tonystarrks, @incorrect-ironstrange, and @meshkol. I need to give a shoutout to @turtleoftheabyss ( @turtlewritesthings ), whom I adore as a writer, an alpha/beta, and a person. And also shoutout to aroacewritingplace from the Parley ship, without whom my ao3 notifications would be a lot less angsty and wonderful.

3.  What is your favorite kind of scene to write?

It really depends on what I’m feeling. If I’m feeling happy, I write fluff. But if I’m feeling angsty I’m taking all you bitches down with me ;)

4.  What is your favorite fanfic?

Nope nope nope nope NOPE. I hate this question. Okay, so, I love a lot of the heavy hitters of course: From the Top, Citizen Erased, and literally anything twobettafish writes. But here are some of the fics that I love and think are underappreciated, just going by kudos counts:  I am here by polyommatusblues R&R by @turtlewritesthings tap dancing on a land mine by Culurien Of Madness and Carnage by @visionarygalaxy Those are all IronStrange, of course. In Drarry my favorite is All Our Secrets Laid Bare by @firethesound , and my favorite Parley is He Made Me Who I Am by aroacewritingplace . There are so, SO many other fics I adore, this is just a tiny sampling.

5.  What tags do you avoid like the plague?

Watersports. To each their own, it’s just not my kink. Everything else is pretty much fair game.

6.  What AU do you wish you could write, but feel you won’t manage?

I've never made the decision not to pursue a fic because I thought I couldn’t pull it off - all of my plot bunnies sitting in their graves ended up there because I didn’t have time to feed them.

7.  Do you outline or write as you go?

Oneshots I plan down to the detail. Multichapter fics are trickier, though. My brain will latch onto a few key scenes or twists, and as I write the rest all falls into place around it.

8.  What has been your favorite story to write so far? Without Light , which I wrote for an IronStrange gift exchange to @ironstrange-is-the-endgame . It’s the longest oneshot I’ve ever done, and it required so much medical research and emotional energy. I really appreciate how it pushed me as a writer, to stick with something that wasn’t coming as easily to me as other fics usually do, and I love the end result.

9.  Do you prefer to write one-shots or multi-chapters?  Why?

I like writing oneshots in a series. I’m telling a long story of one set of characters, so there’s room for readers to explore them and their relationships to one another, but I’m not chronologically limited like I would be in a multichapter fic. If I want to write Tony and Stephen married with a kid I can, and then tomorrow when inspiration strikes I can jump back to their first date.

10.  Which is your favorite kind of comment?

Each and every comment I receive absolutely makes my day. That being said, I particularly love when readers tell me their favorite lines, because a lot of times they’re mine too. Sometimes it takes me literal hours of writing, revising, and revisiting a sentence to get it just right, so when someone takes the time to tell me how much they loved it I feel like the results were worth the effort.

11.  Why did you start writing fan fiction?  Why are you still writing?

I started writing fan fiction because of a school assignment as I said above (I really need to go back and thank that teacher), and I kept on writing because once I set that flow of words loose I couldn’t bear to dam it back up again. @turtlewritesthings @helathesixth @lacrimula-falsa @tonystarrks your turn!

[quiznaksicles]

Hey, you’ve been inactivate for a while. Everything okay?

I’m sorry that this has been sitting in my inbox for a good few months. But things have been…rocky? My mental health has taken a weird turn after graduating, and I think I’m undergoing some post-graduation depression and loss of direction.

But I’m not going to attribute my absence to that.

@korra-of-the-south, I really appreciate the ask. I’ve just been trying to figure out how to answer this. And the emotional answer is not directed at you. Oh god, no. It’s just a segue for me to explain my thoughts. And it sucks because this is a dam of feelings I’ve been holding back, so I just want you to know that none of this is directed at you. I hope that you don’t mind that I’m using this as my platform. If you do, I’ll delete it and make a new post, just let me know. :) You deserve an answer. 

What I’m writing underneath is personal rant. So you can skip it if you want, and if you read it and decide to unfollow me, I completely 100% understand. If you want to send hate, please send it to my inbox, don’t reply or reblog because there’s enough hate in the fandom already.

In all honesty, I’ve been trying to decide what to do with this blog. I love Voltron, and I love the show a lot. But I think that I dove too quickly into the fandom, if that makes any sense. Like, when I first got into it, I was so excited to see so much fanart and fanwork being created, and it was the second/third fandom I’d ever been interested in. All I saw was the glamour and lights, and I didn’t really see the dark sides of it—despite warnings from a good friend of mine.

The thing is, the fandom, to me, seems very superficial, if that makes any sense? There’s a level of enthusiasm and connection to people that, from the outside, seem close and potentially fun. But that’s really it??? My main fandom has always been Haikyuu!! because the people are fantastic. Any time I talk to someone in that fandom, I find myself having long, winding conversations about anything and everything. I’ve made many friendships and connections. With Voltron, I feel like I’m stepping on eggshells.

Haikyuu!! has always been home, but Voltron—I can’t say the same.

I feel like I don’t belong.

And I know it sounds stupid, it sounds really stupid. I know. A lot of what I write is based on how comfortable I am in company, despite tumblr being an anonymous platform.

Then there’s the shame of shipping. In any fandom, I am a multi-shipper—I love rarepairs so much. But I feel scared and shamed whenever I think about what I ship in Voltron. In all honesty, I really like a lot of ships—almost all, in fact—with the exception of Shiro/Pidge. That’s just a hard ‘no’ from me. But I enjoy Shadam, Shance, Sheith, Plance, Kidge, Punk, and etc. I really like them. One of the first Voltron blogs I followed seemed harmless enough until I noticed they had reblogged a screenshot of another blog who enjoyed Sheith, putting them on blast. The tags were so nasty and harmful that if it had been directed at me, I think—I know—I would have cried. Death threats, arguments over sensitive topics…it’s been a source of shame and fear for me.

My whole philosophy has been that shipping is for fun.

That’s it. I don’t put so much weight on it that it consumes me and my content. The whole premise of the show has always been about hardships, war, and the bond of friendship—never about shipping. But a portion of people (!!!not all!!!) will condemn those who like other things…such as the ships above. They terrify me so much so that I feel obligated to only mention publicly that I like one ship, when in reality, I like a majority. And the whole thing sounds trivial, but the toxicity within the fandom is no joke from the posts and blogs and arguments that I’ve seen and fought hard to avoid.

Another big factor for my absence is my self-consciousness. I’ve struggled with my work’s worth. I know I shouldn’t,but I end up comparing myself to others, and so I feel…inferior. I see so many fantastic, creative artists/writers, and I’m so happy for their work, but then mine just feel lesser? It’s something I’m working on: discovering my self-worth. It’s so funny because in my other fandoms (I’m in, like 3 others, which I’m writing actively for)I’m simply happy for others’ successes. But in this fandom, I just feel less worth. I feel like my stuff sucks. Internally, I know it’s not true, but I can’t help but think all those toxic thoughts.

So in true response to your question, I’ve taken a step back. I’ve distanced myself because I’m working hard to re-discover my self-worth and confidence in my works. I haven’t completely fallen out, and for weeks because of this internal conflict, I’ve struggled with whether I want to delete this blog or not. For now, I’ve decided to keep it inactive until I decide to post again; my klance fics, my Lance fics, my character studies—all of them are at a stagnant point. But I want to complete the works I’ve started. Slowly, I’m learning to take pride in the tens of thousands of words I’ve put on a document. And it’s unfair to anyone if I keep it all to myself.

The struggle is difficult, but I’m trying. I’m just at a hesitant point in my life.

[I’m sorry for any grammatical mistakes or for anything that doesn’t make sense. When I write purely based on emotion, I tend to write terribly. If anything doesn’t make sense, don’t hesitate to message me or ask me for clarification.]

[dumbledearme]

chapter twenty-six—saved by a mortal

read Child of Land and Sea here

Act IV — To Stop The Tide

Part I — And I can hardly wait to discombobulate, I'll send you back and packing in a shipping crate.

"Just relax," Sally said, but she didn't sound relaxed. "It's only an orientation tour. And remember, dear, this is Paul's school. So try not to... you know."

"Blow it to shit?"

"Pretty much, yes."

Andy sighed. Paul Blofis was Sally's new boyfriend. He was an English teacher and had managed to convince Good High School to accept Andy for the next school year. Andy had tried to warn him that it wasn't a good idea, but the man just wouldn't listen to reason.

"You haven't told him the truth about me, have you?"

Sally tapped her fingers nervously on the wheel. "I thought we should wait."

"So we don't scare him away?"

"It's just one morning, Andy. It'll be fine."

"I'll be expelled before even starting school."

"Think positive, honey. Tomorrow you're off to camp! And later today, you've got your date-"

"It's not a date!" Andy protested. "It's just... Anthony."

"He's coming all the way from camp to meet you."

"Yes."

"You're going to the movies."

"So?"

"Just the two of you."

"Stop it!"

Sally held up her hands in surrender. "I'm just reminding you, Andy, that if by any chance you have something to say to that boy, today is the perfect time."

"Consider me reminded."

Andy got out of the car and into the school. Two cheerleaders ambushed her in the halls. "Hi," they smiled. "Welcome to Goode," the blonde one said. "You are so going to love it!"

The other girl, with a name tag written Kelli on it, said, "What's your name?"

"Uh, Andy."

The two girls exchanged a look. "Oh, Andy Jackson," the blonde one said. "We've been waiting for you."

Having a bad feeling about that, Andy was about to run when Paul Blofis showed up to greet her. The cheerleaders backed off. Andy anxiously passed them, kneeling Kelli in the thigh. Her leg made a hollow, metallic sound.

"There you are," Paul was saying. "Welcome to Goode!"

"Yeah, hey, Paul."

"Andy, you look like you've seen a ghost," Paul said. He patted her on the back. "I know you're nervous, but you've got nothing to worry about. We get a lot of kids here with ADHD and dyslexia. The teachers know how to help."

"If only ADHD and dyslexia were my biggest worries," Andy mumbled looking over her shoulder to where the cheerleaders were watching her. Then Andy looked down the hall and saw a girl with frizzy red hair also staring at her.

Andy cursed under her breath. Somebody called Paul and he went to see what the person needed. The red-headed came swinging. "I thought I'd never see you again! As a matter of fact, there were some days when I thought I'd imagined you..."

"Rachel Elizabeth Dare," Andy recalled. "No, I'm real."

The girl smiled, a little too flirtatiously. "And you never told me your name last December when you tried to kill me."

"I wasn't... I didn't... What are you doing here?"

"Orientation," Rachel shrugged.

"You live in New York?"

"You thought I lived at Hoover Dam?" Suddenly the smile vanished from her freckled face and her eyes widened. Andy followed her gaze and saw Kelli, still watching her. "Run," Rachel whispered.

"Why?"

Without answering, Rachel took Andy's hand and pulled her down the hall to the band room where they hid behind a bass drum. "You think they followed us?" Rachel asked, crouching down.

"The cheerleaders?" Andy asked. Rachel nodded nervously. "I don't think so. What are they? What did you see?"

Rachel's green eyes were bright with fear. "You wouldn't believe me."

"Oh, I'm fairly sure I would," Andy said. "I know you can see through the Mist."

"The what?"

"The Mist. It's... like a veil that hides the way things really are. Some mortals are born with the ability to see through it. Like you."

Rachel studied Andy carefully. "You did that at Hoover Dam. You called me a mortal. Like you're not." Her face was pleading. "You know what it means. All these horrible things I see."

"Uh... yeah. You see... What do you know of Greek myths?" Rachel waited. "All those monsters, the gods, the stories... they are all true."

"I knew it!"

Andy blinked. "That was strangely easy."

"You don't know how hard it's been," Rachel said. "For years I thought I was going crazy. I couldn't tell anybody. I couldn't-" her eyes narrowed. "Wait. Who are you? I mean really? You look like you, but you're not... human. Are you?"

"I'm a half-blood. I'm half human," Andy said carefully. She had no idea why she was telling this girl everything. For some weird reason, they'd had this instant connection and Andy felt she could be trusted.

"And half what?"

Just then, Kelli and the other stepped into the band room. The doors slammed shut behind them. "There you are, Andy Jackson," the blonde one said. "It's time for your orientation." While Kelli stood blocking the doors, the blonde one went toward Andy. When the cheerleader was close enough, Andy drew Riptide and pointed at her chest.

She snarled and began to change. The color drained out of her, her skin was white, her eyes were red. Her teeth grew into fangs. She looked like a vampire. But her legs were different from one another. The left one was brown and donkey-like, while the right one was made of bronze. She advanced on her weird, mismatched legs.

Rachel threw a snare drum at the empousa's head. The demon hissed and batted the drum away. Rachel threw a xylophone, but the demon just swatted that away, too.

"I don't usually kill girls," she growled. "But I will enjoy killing you two."

She lunged at them and Andy slashed with Riptide. The blade sliced straight through her cheerleader uniform, and with a horrible wail she exploded into dust all over them.

"You killed my trainee!" Kelli yelled. "You need a lesson, half-blood!" Kelli changed into her true form. "I'm senior empousa," she growled. "No man has bested me in a thousand years."

"I'm no man." Andy attacked, but Kelli dodged. Andy placed herself between the empousa and Rachel. Kelli circled them.

"Such a pretty blade," she said, watching the sword. "What a shame it stands between us." Her form shimmered. "You don't even know what is happening, do you? Soon, your camp will be in flames, your friends will be slaves to the Lord of Time, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. It would be merciful to end your life now, before you have to witness that."

Voices started coming from down the hall. The empousa's eyes lit up. She picked up a tuba and threw it at Andy, who ducked. The tuba sailed over her head and crashed through the window. The voices in the hall died down.

"Andy!" Kelli shouted. "Why did you do that?" And she kept throwing instruments and making a mess. Andy charged after her. The door flung open. Kelli turned toward Andy like a cowering victim. She cried, and before the sword could hit her, she exploded into flames.

"Andy?" Paul Blofis looked completely stunned. "What have you done?"

Kids screamed down the hall. The fire alarm wailed. Ceiling sprinklers hissed to life.

"You have to get out of here," Rachel whispered. Andy nodded and with a last apologetic glance at Paul, she sprinted for the broken band room window.

Andy burst out of the alley onto East 81st and ran straight into Anthony. "Hey, you're out early!" he laughed. For a split second he was in a good mood and everything was fine. He looked as charming as ever; his gray eyes sparkling. Then Rachel appeared and Anthony's smile melted. For the first time he noticed the smoke, the alarm, the screams. "What did you do? And who is this?"

Andy introduced the two of them. Police sirens wailed on FDR Drive.

"Andy," Anthony said coldly. "We should go."

"I want to know more about half-bloods," Rachel said. "And monsters. And this stuff about the gods." She grabbed Andy's arm, whipped out a permanent marker, and wrote a phone number on Andy's hand. "You're going to call me and explain, okay? You owe me that. Now get going. I'll make some story. Tell them it wasn't your fault." Just like that, she ran back toward the school.

Anthony stared at Andy. "You told a mortal girl about half-bloods?"

"There were two empousai! And she can see through the Mist. I mean-"

"You told her the truth?"

"She recognized me from Hoover Dam, so-"

"You've met her before? This is strange," he shook his head. "Well, I guess our afternoon is off. We should get you out of here, now that the police will be searching for you." Without another word, Anthony took off and Andy had to jog after him.

In the taxi, Andy tried to talk to him but Anthony seemed to be far away. All she managed to get out of him was that he'd had a monster-infested spring in San Francisco; he'd come back to camp twice since Christmas, but wouldn't tell Andy why; and he'd learned nothing about the whereabouts of Nico di Angelo.

"What about Luke?" Andy asked.

"Mount Tam is till overrun with monsters," he said. "I didn't dare go near it, but I Luke isn't there anyway."

"How can you know?" she asked. He didn't answer. Andy felt like he was keeping something from her but decided not to push him. "What about Grover?"

"He's at camp. We'll see him today."

"Did he have any luck? With the search for Pan?"

"You'll see."

"Okay, are you mad at me?" she finally asked.

Anthony glanced at her and sighed. "No, Andy. I am not mad at you. I'm just mad."

The taxi dropped them on Farm Road 3.141, at the base of Half-Blood Hill. They hiked to the crest where the young guardian dragon was dozing, coiled around the pine tree, but he lifted his coppery head as they approached. "Hey, Peleus," Anthony greeted. They walked down into the valley, greeting the others, until Anthony said, "I need to talk to Clarisse."

Andy stared at him. "What for?"

"We've been working on something," he answered. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Working on what? And with Clarisse?"

Anthony glanced toward the forest. "I'll tell Chiron you're here. He'll want to talk to you before the hearing."

"What hearing?"

But he jogged down the path toward the archery field without looking back. Andy cursed and made her way through camp. Then she found herself face-to-face with the biggest hell-hound she had ever seen. She was about to draw Riptide when a man said, "She's harmless. Meet Mrs O'Leary."

Andy blinked. The man smiled dryly. He had short gray hair and a clipped gray beard. At the base of his neck was a strange mark, a purplish blotch like a birthmark or a tattoo, but Andy couldn't tell what it was.

"Mrs O'Leary is my pet," he explained.

"Okay," Andy said slowly. "And who are you?"

"Quintus."

Andy shook his hand. It was as rough as sandpaper. "Andy Jackson," she said. "How did you, um-"

"Get a hell-hound for a pet? Long story, involving many close calls with death and quite a few giant chew toys. I'm the new sword instructor, by the way. Helping out Chiron while Mr D is away."

"Mr D is away?"

"Yes, well... Busy times. Even Dionysus must help out. He's gone to visit some of the lesser gods. Make sure they're on the right side. I probably shouldn't say more than that." Then he looked around thoughtful. "They didn't have camps like this when I was a boy."

"You're a half-blood?!"

Quintus chuckled. "Some of us do survive into adulthood. Not all of us are the subject of terrible prophecies."

Andy was about to ask him about said prophecy, when Chiron appeared. "I see you've met our new instructor. Quintus, do you mind if I borrow Andy?"

"Not at all, Master Chiron."

Andy said goodbye and walked away with Chiron. He asked about the empousai and Andy told him everything, including Kelli bursting into flames. "The more powerful ones can do that," Chiron said. "She did not die, Andy. She simply escaped. It is not good that the she-demons are stirring."

"It is not good that they were waiting for me. How did they know? Gods, I... If it weren't for Rachel..."

Chiron nodded. "Ironic to be saved by a mortal, yet we owe her a debt. But we can talk of this later. We're going to be late."

"Late for what?"

They had reached the forest, but Chiron was leading Andy through a path she did not know. "The Council of Cloven Elders is meeting to decide Grover's fate."

At the clearing, a bunch of satyrs were sitting in a circle in the grass. Grover stood in the middle, facing three really old and fat satyrs. He was telling them a story.

Standing off to one side of the circle were Anthony, a girl Andy didn't know, and Clarisse. Andy stood next to them. The small girl had wispy hair the color of amber and a pretty, elfish face. Her eyes were tinged green. She was dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief. "It's going terribly," she sniffled.

"No, no," Anthony patted her shoulder. "He'll be fine, Juniper." He looked at Andy and mouthed the words 'Grover's girlfriend'.

"Master Underwood!" the council member on the right shouted. "Do you seriously expect us to believe this?"

"B-but, Silenus," Grover stammered. "It's the truth!"

Silenus turned to his colleagues and muttered something. "Master Underwood, for months we have been hearing these scandalous claims that you heard the wild god Pan speak."

"I did!"

"Impudence!" said the elder on the left. "I've had it up to my horns with this nonsense. As if the wild god would speak to... to you!"

"For months," Silenus continued, "we have indulged you, Master Underwood. We let you travel. We allowed you to keep your searcher's license. We waited for you to bring proof of your preposterous claim. And what have you found in months of travel?"

"I just need more time," Grover pleaded.

"Nothing!" the elder in the middle chimed in. "You have found nothing!"

Chiron leaned in and said something to the satyrs. Silenus sighed and nodded. "Master Underwood," he announced, "we will give you yet one more chance."

Grover brightened. "Thank you!"

"One more week."

"What? But, sir! That's impossible!"

"One more week, Master Underwood. And then, if you cannot prove your claims, it will be time for you to pursue another career. Something to suit your dramatic talents. Puppet theater, perhaps. Or tap dancing."

"But, sir, I... I cannot lose my searcher's license. My whole life-"

"This meeting of the council is adjourned," Silenus said. "And now let us enjoy our noonday meal."

The circle of satyrs broke and Grover walked dejectedly toward Andy. "That went well, huh?"

"Those old goats!" Juniper said. "Oh, Grover, they don't know how hard you've worked!"

"There is another option," Clarisse said darkly.

"No. No." Juniper shook her head. "Grover, I won't let you."

His face was ashen. "I... I'll have to think about it. But we don't even know where to look."

"What are you talking about?" Andy asked.

In the distance, a conch horn sounded.

"I'll fill you in later, Andy," Anthony said. "We'd better get back to our cabins. Inspection is starting."

[therapist-solarist]

Be Someone Other Then Yourself ==>

A Homestuck fan-fic I posted a long time ago on my archive account.

TAGS / WARNINGS:  Character Death, Immortality, godtier!alpha, kidsgodtier!beta kids, Depression, Anxiety, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Death from Old Age, Early Death, Death, Abuse, Past Abuse, Bullying, I got depressed for a few months and made this masterpiece, Sadstuck, implied anorexia, Anorexia, lowkey john / roxy not really mentioned till Jade's part, even then its like 3 lines

Summary: How the world before and after the game effects it players and none of the time in between. This is sadstuck and there is 4 major character deaths. Read at your own self depressing risk.

==》 Be John Egbert

Your name is John Egbert and you are about to enter your first class of a Monday morning freshly from homeroom. It’s your English class. You really do enjoy the talks about 1800’s literature and novels of the time. The masters such as Shakespeare and H.P Lovecraft and many others always draw your interest and make your day better even if you get tripped and beaten up every other day or as of lately everyday. The bill rings shrill and you bolt out of the room and step into the hallway sticking to the lockers like glue and weave your way through the growing crowds avoiding most people's eyes. Trying to avoid being beat up before first period and risk missing your favorite class over some more bruises on your ribs or the teasing that had been wearing away at your mind slowly. You still wore your shorts and shirt. Only difference was now days you had switched to bring a pair of spare clothing in the case you were beat up and got blood on your white shirt. You still avoid telling your father.

Your about 10 steps away when a voice calls out loud and clear to you, it’s obvious it's directed at you once the old nickname has left the mouth of your childhood tormentors. 

"Hey Beaver teeth, how's the dam going?”

A group of boys laughter rings through the hall as they advance behind you. You keep your head down and avoid everyone's gazes as they surround you in a semi-circle backing you into a locker. You still refused to look up not giving them the satisfaction of seeing the fear in your eyes.

"Hey Beaver teeth. I know you heard me. I know you hear me~" 

The boy keeps calling out to you trying to draw your head up. To make you look him in the eye. His friends are all laughing and joining in chanting the long overused nickname. The boys voices mix to others in the hall that want to see you with a bruise on your face. Girls and boys, from freshman to seniors are chanting now. Trying to get you to snap. To look up at the boy. Your sure a few teachers are watching. You're also sure none of them care. You close your eyes as the first punch flies to your gut.<p>

When it's all said and done you've been hit 17 times. You have 13 bruises and a cut on your hand and a bloody lip that is swelling by the minute.

After all that you still missed English class. 

When you get home you tell your dad you tripped on the stairs today and that in your misfortune you scraped your hand on a pair of haphazardly placed scissors on top of someone's backpack.

You're surprised he still buys the lies.

You know he knows that something is wrong. 

You head upstairs and the first thing you notice is a pesterchum message. You drop your bag on the floor and grab a sweatshirt, heading to the bathroom ignoring the messages for the moment. You walk into the room and close the door and lock it behind you. The mirror on the wall is good enough to check your body for the bruises and make sure it was only 13 this time. That it wasn't all 17 of the fists that left a mark on your now always purple stained skin. 

You were right the first time. Only 13. This is good news to you seeing as any more then 13 and you'd start to wonder if your brain was damaged and could explain why you're failing math. You find that the pain from moving now days hurts you more mentally than physically. You decide to stop your train of thoughts there as not to dwell any more. That’s what 3 am exhaustion is for. 

You throw your shirt to the side and just slip the sweatshirt over your head, enjoying the breathing room. You're sure one of these days you're going to get a broken rib from all the strifes you're involved in. 

You leave the bathroom and make your way slowly into your bedroom. You notice your pesterlog has new messages in a memo that jade set out for everyone a while back. 

You open it. 

GardenGnostic [GG] opened memo [GG] hey! How was school :D EctoBiologist [EB] answered memo TentacleTherapist [TT] answered memo TurntechGodhead  [TG] answered memo  [EB] lots of fun [TT] Uneventful [TG] boring as hell [GG] aww! I wish I could go to public school with other kids!

You stop and stare at your computer. Just one more person you have added into your Web of lies about school. You're not sorry for doing it though, rather save everyone the pain of knowing and doing something stupid and ending you up in a world more of pain. Hoping that jade never goes to school and has this happen to her, hoping that Rose won't go into a protective mother like / psychiatrist mode on you fussing over your bruises and hurt body telling you it's not okay. And Dave trying to teach you threw skype how to fight. 

You know they mean well but it wouldn't do you any good it would only cause your friends more stress. And you know that but you let it go anyway. You are also sure if you didn't accept those lessons from dave he would sneak down to Washington and beat the shit out of them. Not that you haven't thought about asking him too but you know you don't want that. They'll just come back and hit twice as hard once he’s gone. 

You really hope no one notices.

Jade catches you shirtless in your room on the ship in the first few days when she went looking for you to come to talk to and get up to date with.She knows they aren't from fighting monsters. God tiers heal fast. She can't understand what they are from. You don't tell her despite her pleas to know. 

When you acceded, you did not want the bruises to fade and kept them covering your body to remind you of your life before the game. 

She still doesn't understand even after a half-drunk confession at 3 am on your next birthday. You tell her every lie you had told her, Rose, Dave and your dad. She still can't understand how people could be so cruel and why you hid it.

You never get the chance to tell Dave or Rose in the new universe.

They never knew and never would.

==》 Be Rose Lalonde

Your name is Rose Lalonde. You’re walking through the school hall between classes. Students part and move at least a foot away as you pass them. None of them dare to touch you. It’s a lonely existence but you don’t mind too much as they don’t understand most of the things you say to begin with. You keep your head down as you pass them. Pretending to read a book that is opened up on the binders you carry with you. You are all too aware of there eyes on you as you walk.

You spot someone sticking their foot out in a vain attempt to trip you but still trying to keep with the at least a foot away status quo. They wish to trip you. You know they are immature enough to try more then that  you side step their foot anyway. You cause a low gasp and flow of murmurs to fill the hallway. A loud voice pierced the hall after a moment of hesitation. 

“Better watch out or the big bad goth will put a spell on you!”

You ignore the voice keeping your head down as laughter erupted from the people around you. You cringe. You hate the sound of their laughter. You much prefer John’s stifled snorting laugh or Jade’s purely joyful giggle or dave's stoic smile / snort that cracks under a funny enough joke. The bell rings and people rush around you yet still, no one dares touches you after the little show you just put on for them.

In a weird way, you wish they would. A push, a shove, anything really. And if you're being honest with yourself you don't remember the last time someone even touched you or hugged you. You try not to think about it as you walk to math.

When you arrive home later that day you have little to no homework so you immediately head for your computer to talk to Jade, Dave, and John. You pull your laptop from your desk and dodge piles of clothing as you flop on your bed and sprawl out and click the small power button. 

As you await your computer’s startup you fiddle with a half-finished knitting project for John and his upcoming birthday. You are thinking of scrapping the idea and buying him something instead. 

You haven't decided yet. 

Your computer pins about 5 minutes later letting you know that your friends are online. You pull up pesterchum and relax into the familiar rhythm of typing and chatting with your friends. 

GardenGnostic [GG] opened memo

[GG] hey! How was school :D EctoBiologist [EB] answered memo TentacleTherapist [TT] answered memo TurntechGodhead  [TG] answered memo [EB] lots of fun [TT] Uneventful [TG] boring as hell [GG] aww! I wish I could go to public school with other kids!

The first time someone touches you that you now remember is when you enter the game. When you go grimdark and die John kisses you back to life. When you came to, the touch was forgotten except for a light hold on your arm making sure you were okay.

The feeling is still exceptionally foreign to you, even now.

The next time someone touches you it is Dave. He hugs you after you both attain god tier. You do so privately in your room. 

You both held on much longer than required.

The third time you are touched is by Kanaya. She holds your hand for the first time and this time the touch does not seem so scary. 

When the game ends you sit down and explain to Kanaya why you sometimes still shy away from her touch after almost falling off a couch rather Ungracefully as she went to touch your shoulder.

She does not push you to hold hands or even kiss. You are thankful for her but you are sure she still does not grasp how big and drastic the change of no physical contact to small touched and brushes of the shoulder are to you. You hope she never has to understand that feeling in her lifetime. Or that you will one day have to go back to a time without those small reassuring touches. You never want to see that day.

You never do.

==》Be Dave Strider

Your name is now Dave Strider. You're sitting in your room desperately searching for a clean long sleeve shirt before your Bro walks in and drags you off to school. 

The elastic of your jeans are painfully digging into your very boney hips and abdomen as your lean down and search your closet floor one more time before standing again and sighting as you grab yesterday's shirt and start to slip it over your head as your Bro walks in. 

You yelp and jump behind your door. 

“Knock next time!” 

You think he shakes his head before leaving.

You're glad you grabbed that shirt in time or your day would not be spent at school. 

You may have preferred it that way with the day you are about to experience. 

You arrive at school 3 minutes before the first bell for class is meant to ring. You sprint to homeroom and your teacher begrudgingly marks you as here on the attendance sheet. Your shoulders sag and relax for all of 30 seconds before you mentally prepared yourself for the rest of the day as the bell rings for the first period of the day. 

It’s 20 minutes into first period before the first of the whispers start to spread there the room. Soon after the first pieces of paper are thrown at the back of your head. You don't even flinch as they whiz past your head.

You know your teacher sees it.

When that class finally ends you scurry out of the room half sprinting across the building to your next class trying to act as if you're not running from the group of three boys on the school’s football team. You pass your locker and decide to skip your daily visit in exchange of getting to class early to be in the safe zone of not getting into a fight. You know bro will want to fight later today anyway and you don't need the extra bruises. 

You make it through the growing crowds avoiding most people's outstretched elbows and feet meant to trip or nail you in the ribs before making it to the transition hallway. This one is much quieter and empty. Not the ideal place to be headed with now a 4th football player on your trail.

You attempt to sprint down the hallway and make it halfway before one boy pulls you back by your collar half choking you. 

They drop you at there feet and the boy who pulled you back is laughing along with his cronies. 

You wheeze for a few seconds before speaking. 

“The fuck you want Andrew?”

He stops laughing and looks down at you. 

“You know Dave, you aren't fooling anyone with those lame ass shades you freak.“

One of Andrew's cronies cackles with laughter and joins in. 

“Yeah let's see those eyes of yours. Mabey even crush those retarded glasses while we're at it. “

You scramble back a few feet. ‘shit.’ has become a mantra in your head as you see the boys advance. You can not let your shades come off or get sent to the nurse's office. Neither would fare particularly well for you. 

“Can we continue this after school? Wouldn't want to be stuck in another detention with Mr.Soyer. The guy smells like a walking drug shop. Am I the only one that feels that way?” 

You scramble backwards a little more before getting far enough that you can stand. You watch as the small crowd of 4 boys look at one another and have a half-whispered conversation on what to do with you.

”Fine kid.” The venom in his voice is if nothing but a cold warning to stay away.   “Afterschool. 4 VS 1. You're not out back by the old playground down the street were gonna make sure you regret it. Now scram.”

At the end of the day you receive 20 bruises, 3 cuts, and what you think is another broken rib after the beating. At least you got to class on time earlier.

When you enter the house you make a beeline for the bathroom and instantly start your patch up of your skin and start to layer up. You know as soon as you leave the bathroom the note will be sitting on the fridge held up by a flimsy magnet. You can already see the message in your head. 

An hour later and you were not wrong. The note read what it always had and most likely always would.

“Bro. Roof. Now.” 

You had gone.

And come back. 

Only with more bruises on top of the previously earned ones.

You wondered if you needed to go to the hospital with all the damage you’ve taken today. Instead of saying anything and walking the 3 miles to the hospital you log onto your computer and open the pesterchum app client.

There all there waiting for you once you’ve logged in. GardenGnostic [GG] opened memo [GG] hey! How was school :D EctoBiologist [EB] answered memo TentacleTherapist [TT] answered memo TurntechGodhead  [TG] answered memo  [EB] lots of fun [TT] Uneventful [TG] boring as hell [GG] aww! I wish I could go to public school with other kids!

In the game there is a day where you and Karkat decided to lay in your bed together and cuddle. You were hot and absently decided to put on a tee shirt. The moment Karkat sees your arms and back he whispers your name and stands to hug you. 

You are a god tier but becoming one didn't take the scars away. You think maybe the game doesn't remove self inflicted wounds. Or maybe somewhere in your head you still believe you deserved every scar that lays bare on your hips and wrists.

You never realized how much damage all those beatings did to your mental health as well as physical. Karkat and Rose show you this. 

When the day came that you and Karkat had to part, you didn't. You stole your own infinite youth to be next to him. 

You are still scared in death that Rose did the same. 

==》Be Jade Harley

You wake up in the middle of your empty house in your room. Although you suppose the entire house is yours now day’s. 

It's completely silent and you wish maybe you'd wake to the loud gunshots of target practice, or the clanging noise of pots in the kitchen. It's been years and you're not sure you remember ever hearing any of that in your own home or if they were just wishful thinking.

You go through the motions of the day, feeding Bec, making yourself food for breakfast and lunch, sleeping, going on Internet searches that lead you to earn new facts about the world and tending your garden. You do it all listening to music. There is never a second after you wake that you want to hear silence. 

So you don't. 

Then it's the time your friends get home from school and you log onto pesterchum and start a new memo just like every day. 

GardenGnostic [GG] opened memo [GG] hey! How was school :D EctoBiologist [EB] answered memo TentacleTherapist [TT] answered memo TurntechGodhead  [TG] answered memo  [EB] lots of fun [TT] Uneventful [TG] boring as hell [GG] aww! I wish I could go to public school with other kids!

You frown. You're too bubbly and optimistic even for yourself. But you also frown because it's true. They have the privilege to go to a place with noise and real people and not be isolated. You wish you had that. 

The first voice you hear once the game starts is Rose. It's still not enough. 

The first person you see and talk to face to face in years is John. He pulls you close and hugs you. You pretend not to notice how he winces when you press closer to him and wrap your arms around his waist.

You're only 13.

You're 16 when you hug Dave and Rose for the first time.

You're 53 when you hug Dave and Karkat last. Dave kisses your head and says goodbye in the most broken voice you had ever heard before and you close your eyes as he leaves to die. It's silent again as he floating-years time going far far away from their reality.

Your only 189 years old when Kanaya last hugs you and 190 when Rose leaves as well. Rose died of a broken heart and drunk herself to death before she decided it was too much. It was silent the next morning as you all gathered to bury her body next to the now one-year dead troll.

She never said goodbye. 

John and the others slowly lose interest in living over time and you can't say you disagree. At the 912th anniversary of Dave and Karkat's deaths, Dirk and Jake leave as well. Jake hugs you and says “goodbye grandma” as he kisses you on the cheek. Dirk hugs you stiffly. He was never good at human contact as it was but even now almost a 1000 years later nothing changed there.

There buried next to one another. The cemetery is silent as you, Jane, John, Roxy and a small child clutched between the arms of the two stand there and watch the cold graves.

It's another 500 years before you're left with another uncontrollable silence.  You wake up sprawled across the floor to see Jane and Roxy dead, next to you. John is standing shell-shocked with a devastated child at his side.

At 2413 John and your niece leave too. You're left with underwhelming silence all the time now.

At 4013 years old you decide it's finally time to leave too

[lady-luck-courier]

Baby sitting

Re-posting this because tumblr hecked up the formatting, but this is one of my first fanfiction writings I am ever publishing and my first NV piece! Inspired by @nuclear-reactions amazing reactions I hope you enjoy!

I had faced everything the Mojave has to throw at me

I have faced a quarry full of deathclaws

I have sent ghouls into space on pre-war rocket ships

I have traveled to kill my attacker and ended up seducing him

I have been a peace keeper and an assassin

I brought Caesar's legion to their knees at the second battle of the hoover dam

I even found a goddamn sex bot to get onto the strip

But this, this is the hardest challenge I will ever have to face.

The little bundle in my arms shifted again, my heart was pounding as I hurried through freeside, a rifle strapped to my back, a pistol on my hip, and a diaper bag over my shoulder. I got a few strange looks from the residents, a few thugs eyed the soft quilt piled in my arms as if to get a better view of what was swaddled inside. I went as fast as I dared to without jostling the precious cargo in my arms.

I kicked the door open to the lucky 38, trying to remember who I’d seen this morning and who i’d sent on supply runs and who was still home. Arcade was still home.

“ARCADE” I screamed as the elevator doors slid open

I heard a crash one room over, Arcade rushed to see what the cause of my panic tone was, he was still holding his coffee mug, sloshing the liquid around, his glasses askew and his shirt untucked

“Six!? What’s the matter? Where’s the injury” his eyes flew over my face, completely missing the bundle in my arms

“Nothing Arcade, but look what I found!”

I gently unwrapped the blankets, a round baby's face appeared in a state of peaceful dream. Arcades eyebrows shot so far up his face I feared they would fly off

“A baby. Six, where the hell did you find a baby?”

“Well”

*

There was only one thing I hated more deathclaws, and that was the legion. And the legion hated me more ever since I threw a wrench into their plans. So when I went out into the wastes on a solo scaving mission just outside of south vegas I was on high alert for any attacks they might send out. Geralt city was one of the smaller towns more often passed over but caravanners have been saying there was a small lake full of fresh radiation free water and nature was slowly taking a foot hold once again, so I saw no harm in checking it out. Dawn was just breaking, the perfect time between the ferals slinking back into the darkness and when the weather was only in the double digits. I slunk in between the shadows and broken walls, coming across some scrap metals and a few drained energy cells.

I thankfully I saw the legionnaires before they saw me. They stood in the town square, four of them in total surrounding a caged cart. I crept out further and eavesdropped

“What should we do with the cripple?”

He whacked the side of the cage and I could see the small frame of someone wince inside

“Kill her right now?” one suggested

“No, let’s sell her for a discount. If not, well we can keep her for some personal entertainment”

They chuckled  

It made me sick hearing them refer to a person as a piece of meat. I unslung my hunting rifle and peered down the sight right at the first ones head, the one who suggested keeping her for entertainment

He dropped like a sack of flour. All the others heads whipped around trying to find the source

“Hello boys!” I stood up and waved to them “Remember me?”

They yelled and charged at the girl with a high powered hunting rifle with spears and swords, and they wonder how I’ve been picking them off so easily.

I looted bodies for the control for the collars around their slaves necks and picked the lock off the cage. Two women, a man and a child were inside. One of the women walked with the aid of a crutch

I helped her out of the cart and she studied my face with wide eyes

“Who are you?” She asked “NCR? Brotherhood?”

“Courier” I answered holding out my hand “Six”

She pulled me into a hug and sobbed thanking me before limping off following the others, it occured to me they were a family. I watched them until they became small spots on the horizon. Right before I left that cart forever I heard a baby cry.

*

Arcades jaw hung open

“Yeah” I said “I need to get the others, Arcade, hold her”

He jumped and flinched back as if the suggestion sucker punched him

“Me? No!”

“Acrade” I asked my eyebrow arching “Are you afraid of the baby?”

“Not afraid! Just terrified of dropping the little thing, you know their skulls aren't fully developed and-”

“So you never held a baby before in all the years you worked with the followers?”

“No, I mean- I know how to hold one but-”

I pushed her into his arms, he immediately locked up and stared at the infant

“Now i’m going to get everyone else, i’ll be back soon” I said sharply turning back to the elevator

“Six. Six? Six, please don't leave me with the-” the elevator doors slid shut cutting him off

*

I came back an hour later with everyone in tow, when the doors slid open we all saw a stiff Arcade trying to shush the now awake and crying baby, it looks like he hasn’t moved from where I left him this morning

“Thank god” He sighed “She just started crying, please help”

The poor guy looked like he craved death and the babies face was red and snot and tears trailed down her face. Everyone rushed out and started to crowd around the baby, effectively making her cry harder.

“Can I try something?”

Everyone's head snapped towards Boone. Arcade sighed in relief and quickly pawned her off into his arms. Boone carefully took her and gently tucked her head under his chin and held her against his chest, supporting her head and neck with his hand he breathed in slowly through his nose. She quieted down immediately. You could feel the shock radiate off everyone in the room. I stared at him wide eyed

“Where’d you learn that Boone?” I asked

He took a moment to respond, gently swaying back and forth

“When Carla told me, I tried to get my hands on every parenting book I could find, some were more helpful than others but I figured if I knew what to expect it wouldn’t be so terrifying”

It was a little strange to see him be so delicate with something, and as the baby started to babble softly everyone caught a glimpse of Boone’s rare smile.

“What’s her name anyway?” Arcade asked

“I-” I stopped “I have no clue, not like she had a name tag or anything.”

Everyone looked around as if for an answer

“Kelly” Boone said “Lets call her kelly”

No one argued   

*

Kelly was kept quite against the snipers chest, until a smell started to permeate through the living room.

“Smells like...shit” I wrinkled my nose

“Bingo” Raul said “Change it boss”

“I dunno how” I replied “Does anyone?”

Silence fell across the living room

“I got it boss, but I can only do it if Boone lets her go”

Raul held his hands out and Boone grudgingly gave up the infant

“You got a diaper bag?”

“Yep!” I hefted the bag up and let it slap against my side

“Good, come with me you’re gonna help me out”

I trailed behind Raul into one of the spare bedrooms and watched him work

“Wow Raul, seems like you got some experience with this” I commented handing him a clean diaper

“Well, I had a big family and they liked dumping their bawling bundles of joy onto us so they could get some rest, so I got good at this pretty quick. I didn’t mind though” His rotted digits secured the safety pin, Kelly giggled happily and grabbed Rauls fingers.  Big eyes looked at him with absolute trust and innocence, she shook his hand back and forth and smiled. I thought I saw a tear or two leak out of his eye.

“Raul, buddy, you okay?” I asked placing a hand on his shoulder

He sniffed “I’m great”

*

Veronica was great with kids, or so she kept insisting. So when Boone left Kelly with me and Raul to shower veronica saw her opportunity. Kelly was happily smacking one of the forks against the floor, giggling when it got stuck in the carpet. Babies were weird. Veronica crept up behind her    

“Veronica” I asked, her hands froze halfway to the kellys stomach “What are you doing?”

She only winked and started to tickle Kelly’s side.

She began to shriek and cry

“Oh dear” Raul muttered before returning to his tinkering

“Ver, I really don't think kelly likes that” I said

“No, the kids at the brotherhood loved me, I just-”

She tried to gather the screaming bundle in her arms to bounce her and blew raspberries on her cheek.  

Kelly screamed louder

As if his “baby-is-crying” sense was tingling, or he heard kelly screeching, Boone marched into the living room and swept kelly away glaring daggers at Veronica

Veronica sat in shock and hurt

“But...Kids love me, I was the cool aunt”

“Ver, I think kelly is just a little young for the roughhousing” I patted her shoulder reassuringly. She feel back against the carpet and covered her eyes with her arm, defeated

*

ED-E hovered around the makeshift crib Raul constructed for Kelly, Listening to her babble and playing the sounds back to her make her giggle and coo as we all tried to come up with a plan for taking care of her. The two seemed as if they were studying each other, ED-E gently poked at Kelly with his antennas and kelly in return grabbed at them and tried to stick them in her mouth. His victory anthem make Kelly shierk with joy for some reason and she loved sticking the barrel of the laser rifle in her mouth (the only way she would release it was the when his danger warning played). Three times I had to make Boone sit down and keep him from dismantling ED-E, promising that ED-E wasn't going to hurt Kelly. I looked at all the people at the table, a patch work of broken and beaten people, and I felt a warmth swell in my chest over the obvious concern they had for this little baby that was dropped in our lap.

“So, Kelly will be staying with us for the foreseeable future?” I asked lacing my fingers and resting my chin atop them, all of them nodded in unison. I smiled lightly and turned to look out the window, showing an orange colored sky. For a moment it felt a little bit of innocent, pure, unfiltered hope returned to all of us. Maybe the world wasn’t such a hellscape after all, and there was hope.  

[greekowl87]

Fic: False Flags - Ghost Ship 7/?

This fic still lives, albeit, just at a slower pace. For those that need to catch up…The First Fic: (False Flags Redux) | Ghost Ship: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) or if AO3 is your thing, you’ve got your choices. Sorry for any grammar or issues of that nature. No beta, I suck at editing my own work on computers (especially when it’s longer) and Grammarly only does so much. I still hope you enjoy it. Thanks for taking the time to stop by.

Tagging: @today-in-fic, @improlificinsarcasm,  @baronessblixen, and @suitablyaggrieved 

A/N: I haven’t given up on this fic but life keeps me busy and inspiration has been little. Thanks for any support with this fic. Sorry; no beta and trying to self edit longer works it not the easiest for me.

Buckley sat by the window of the hotel room carelessly spinning an unloaded Colt 1911 on the small table the motel staff had placed in the double room. Across the room, Alex Krychek groaned in annoyance and turned up the volume on the television with his one good arm. Buckley snorted and continued to spin the pistol. “Will you stop that!” Krychek shouted angrily. “You’re driving me fucking crazy.”

“Am I?” He laughed. “Good, Alexi.”

“Alex. Stop calling me that! I don’t know what the old man sees in you. Enlisting your help a second time? You screwed up and got caught last time. What makes you think you can do better?”

“And I got shot by Mulder too but the tip came from an anonymous informant. Not my screw-ups, you dick. Besides, shouldn’t you be doing something useful? Like getting us dinner or something?”

Krycek shuddered. “And I lost a goddamn arm thanks to Mulder and I’m not complaining. God, don’t you ever shut up? I’m not your servant so stop bothering me. I’m not supposed to let you out of myself or else god forbid you to go rogue.”

“Why worry?”

“I’ve seen your work,” Krycek huffed. He thought about the file folder and the gruesome pictures he had seen. It reminded him of Jack the Ripper, especially when Mulder and Scully had caught him during his last crime spree. “You’re fucking insane.”

“I used to be a gangster from the 1920s.” He replied. His voice took on a Chicago accent briefly. ‘That’s where I learned all that.”

“You really are insane. Bipolar. Order a pizza or something if you’re so damn hungry. The phone book is right there.”

Buckley chuckled and continued to stare on the window, spinning the pistol.

****************

Mulder and Scully slept through the night but that didn’t do anything to calm each other’s nerves. The ocean pounding the sandbars only matched Scully’s racing heart. Mulder sipped his coffee and leaned against the counter. “Scully, you’re pacing,” he quipped from the couch.

“I feel like a prisoner here,” she answered. She looked around at the ocean-inspired theme and shook her head. “It feels irreverent like Arcadia did.”  She crossed her arms and looked at Mulder. “Don’t you feel the same? We can’t leave.”

“I don’t remember anyone saying that. Skinner didn’t say that. We’re free to come and go as we please. It isn’t like Skinner has placed us in protective custody and he’s standing in the corner watching our every move. We have our weapons. We’re trained federal agents. We’re okay.”

She shook her head in frustration. “I have the worst feeling growing in the back of my mind. He’s closer than they think he is.” She scratched the back of her neck and Mulder got from the couch to catch her hand. “What?”

“It’s not the chip,” he answered quickly. “This isn’t like Ruskin Dam. This isn’t the Syndicate coming after us. This is just old fashioned…” He sighed, unable to find the word. His fingers caressed the back of her neck gently. “It’s just our past coming back to haunt us. Quite literally. In the physical form of a sociopath.”

“You should have killed the bastard when you had the chance,” she replied. Scully relaxed into his touch and closed her eyes. “Might have saved us this headache.”

“You are the better shot between the two of us. Sorry. Couldn’t kill Model, couldn’t kill Buckley even at close range. But you, my kick-ass G-woman can shot a Sig Sauer P-226 with the precision of a surgeon and still take out and heal with the same ability. Maybe I should just give you my own weapon.”

Scully smiled ruefully and leaned into the shoulder she had shot years before. Mulder laughed and held her close. She took a deep breath and looked up to him and said, “I imagined our time down here filled with doing the tourist traps, relaxing with you on the beach, and just having fun.”

“We still can. The Bodie Lighthouse isn’t that far. Neither is Roanoke Island. Let’s go there. Check out the history. Maybe we can solve the case of the missing colony.”

“They’re national parks.”

“And we’re federal agents. We’ll be fine.” He gave her a weak smile. “Let’s do the lighthouse today. We can spend tomorrow on Manteo and have some dinner or something.”

“Mulder…”

“It’s better than seeing you pace back and forth. It’ll be fun.”

“Fine,” she conceded. “Anything is better than just being stressed.”

“I know you hate flying but are you afraid of heights?”

She shook her head. “I don’t think so. Why?”

“Have you ever been up in a lighthouse?”

“Surprisingly, no.”

“Really? Coming from the woman who loves the seas.” Mulder grinned. “You’re going to love it.”

*********************

The FBI partners gathered their weapons and badges to hide them discreetly among their clothes. They grabbed Scully’s purse, locked their beach house, and went down to Mulder’s car. He hated seeing Scully like this and knew that this trip would be just the thing. They made the drive down NC-12 to Cape Hatteras National Park chatting silently with one another. When they arrived at the fork for Cape Hatteras National Park, he took the right back down the highway. After a short distance, he turned left down a small paved road where Bodie Island Lighthouse was. Mulder pulled their car in the small gravel parking lot and smiled at Scully. “Well?”

She leaned forward to look out of the windshield. The black and white striped lighthouse stood off in the distance with the white lightkeeper’s house nearby. “It’s quaint,” she smiled. “Very tucked away. I’d imagine you might be used to up in New England.”

“I’ve seen a few.

“It has a history as well.”

“I bet it does.”

They climbed out of the car and Mulder was surprised when Scully openly took his hand and led him towards the Lightkeeper’s House, which served as the gift shop and the National Park Service’s Office. As if she had been there before, she knew right where everything was. Mulder became interested in some of the lighthouse knick-knacks as she purchased two tickets to climb the lighthouse. “Got those tickets to the stairway to heaven, Scully?”

“Hahaha,” she smiled. Much to this delight, she took his arm as they ventured back outside to a bench near the lighthouse to wait for the next tour. She guided him to sit with her on the bench overlooking the lighthouse. “I should really purchase a camera for this trip.”

“We can always buy a postcard.”

“I’m talking about us.” She rolled her eyes in amusement. “Why do you have to be difficult?”

“Because I love it when you say, ‘You’re crazy, Mulder.’  Besides, who needs a camera when you have a photographic memory?” He tapped his temple. “All our recent memory making…”

She laughed and it lifted Mulder’s spirit. Despite having a reincarnated ex-husband murderer who happened to be a serial killer in this life hunting down them while they were on their first vacation as a couple, he was so happy to hear her laughter. She smiled and rested her head against the bicep. She closed her eyes sleepily. “What do you say to us taking a nap in the hammock we have on the deck when we get home?”

“Despite the threat of…”

“Ssshhh. But yes.”

“As long as we pick up dinner along the way. Are you in the mood for seafood?”

“What about some Carolina BBQ?”

“I like you in a vacation mood. Why can’t you be more open to greasy foods when we’re in the field?”

“Vacation. There’s a difference,” she laughed.

Mulder watched a park ranger walk past them, calling, “All those for tickets for the 12:00 lighthouse tour line up behind me.”

“That’s us,” Scully whispered.

“Do you have to be first at everything?”

“I have to remind you who is the boss in this relationship. Tell me, Walking History Textbook, what is special about this lighthouse?”

“I remember,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head, “trying to blow it up with the retreating troops but I got orders to report to Norfolk instead.”

She chuckled. “Fucking past lives but then again, I have those to thank for my better sex life.”

“Is that a compliment?”

“Shut up.” Her eyes opened and she tugged on his arm. “Let’s go.”

“This salt air is doing wonders for your spirit,” he remarked.

“Maybe it’s the company more.”

Mulder smiled and kissed her forehead lovingly. She walked together to the front of the lighthouse where others were lining up in front of a park ranger. The woman park ranger smiled and waved people closer. “Gather around everyone! First, a few rules before we go up. The stairs in this lighthouse aren’t like the ones at Cape Hatteras. Only one person at a time can be on them, going up or going down in either direction. You can have multiple people on the landings,” the park ranger explained. “Now that we have that out of the way, can anyone tell me about the lighthouse?”

The tour group was met with silence as the park ranger started to talk about a mini-history lesson about Congress approving the lighthouse and it’s history from the Civil War to the present. As the park ranger concluded her mini-speech, she stepped back and motioned for everyone to begin their journey upwards. Mulder and Scully were in the middle of the group and took a moment to take in the moment around them: other tourists, the lovely March weather, and Scully in sunglasses smiling and laughing with her arm wrapped through his. It was so nice to see you here relaxed and happy.

“Are you happy?” Mulder whispered to her.

“Yes,” she answered.

That was all he needed at that moment. He really should have bought a disposable camera to capture this moment. As they climbed the lighthouse in a single file line, he was entranced by the magic of the moment. They paused periodically on each landing, overlooking various aspects of the horizon. The salt marshes and sounds of the Ocean on the other end. The Atlantic on the other side. Scully laughing. Eventually, they reached the top, the wind whipped Scully’s hair.

She gripped the railings of Bodie Lighthouse and leaned over to look at the people below. Mulder’s hand rested lightly on her back and he whispered, “What a view huh?”

“Hey, mister!”

A young kid’s voice caught both of them off guard and as they turned they saw a young boy with a brand new Polaroid camera. He smiled, speaking loudly over the wind. “I’ll take two pictures of you for five bucks.”

“Try three,” Mulder haggled, getting into the spirit.

“Two dollars includes on the spot printing. Memories last forever.”

“You sound like a Hallmark commercial.”

“Mom lets me watch a lot of tv.” The young kid considered his possible client. “What do you say? Five dollars for three pictures?”

“I have to consult with my boss. What do you say, Scully? Three for five?”

She nodded and smiled. The kid smiled and raised his camera. He took a series of three shots. One of them both overlooking the railing out to the Atlantic sea, the second of them together smiling for the camera, and an unscripted kiss that briefly turned passionate, all of which was captured on the kid’s camera. Scully broke away, her cheeks flushed as she smiled. Mulder dug through his jean’s pockets until he produced a crumpled five-dollar bill. He exchanged it as Scully still took the still-developing photos.

Scully waved the photos in the sea air in a vain attempt to get them to develop quicker. She briefly flashed back to when she found that picture of them in the library archives in Newport News months ago from 1863. But there was something else that bloomed up inside of her; pride, love, tenderness, and devotion. Finally, something to memorialize and immortalize this moment now. She eyed the top image of them kissing with affection. Mulder was saying something before he returned to her.

“How did they turn out?”

“The kid has an eye for photography?” She answered.

They both gripped the photos to keep them from flying away in the sea breeze. “The Gunmen can make copies of these,” he whispered into her ear. “We can put one down into the basement and make Skinner jealous.”

“Or we can keep the copies for ourselves,” she answered. She rested her head against his chest; the breeze was in one ear with echoes of eternity from the Atlantic and his heartbeat was steady with promises of the future. “We need to buy a camera.”

“I can agree with that.” They watched the pictures develop on top of the lighthouse as they stood close to each other and as another momentarily in the winds of their entwined existence became immortalized once again on film. Scully felt relaxed and, for once, at peace. “Let me put those pictures in my purse,” she whispered softly.

Mulder gladly obliged and she carefully tucked away their pictures. They stood together, admiring the 360 panorama view that Bodie Lighthouse gave. After a while, they descended the staircase back down to the ground. Scully took his hand in public, unafraid who was watching and dragged Mulder to the gift shop. As he enjoyed the moment of this rare display of public affection, Mulder had a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that disappeared when Scully’s lips met his.

********************

Buckley sat in the farthest car from the lighthouse, looking through his binoculars. Krycek sat next to him and asked, “Is it them?”

“Yep,” the other man replied. “Just like I told you.”

********************

Mulder looked at the Polaroids that had been taken at the lighthouse that day. He could only imagine the film on the disposable camera and how wonderful the shots were going to be. He and Scully were laughing, posing together as a couple framed by the lighthouse and the Atlantic Ocean. The little kids who had charged them five dollars for the pictures were ruthless but he finally had some proof of their happiness in this life. He contemplated calling upon the Gunmen to use their technological magic to digitize the photos but that would be for another day. He had been relatively low profile with his relationship with Scully over the past three months and he did not want to push it unless she was okay with it.

“Hey, Scully,” he called, “when do you think we should tell your mom?”

“About what, Mulder?”

“Us,” he replied.

From the kitchen island, Scully was curled up on the couch with a blanket watching ‘Dharma and Greg’ and not really paying attention to him. She rested her arm on the back of the couch and twisted to look at him. “What aspect of us?”

“Well,” Mulder began, setting the photos down, “the change in our relationship for starters.”

“Or the IVF?”

“I wasn’t going to go there.”

“But you were thinking about it.”

“I don’t know what I was thinking,” he admitted. He set the pictures aside and joined her on the couch. “I’ve just been thinking lately.”

“Well, I feel like there’s been a lot of that going around,” she said. Mulder unfurled her legs and rested her feet in his lap. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I’m not really thinking.”

“Or maybe you’re just too busy thinking. Are you thinking about the IVF?”

“I would want to try again if you are willing too.”

“I still want to think about it,” she replied.

He lightly massaged her feet and she hummed in approval. “I can’t believe how sore my feet are from climbing all those stairs.”

“It’s not like you aren’t used to all work. You’re the FBI equivalent of Wonder Women running in high heels.”

“I appreciate the compliant, Mulder, but if you remember, I decided to wear flip-flops that have no support.”

“Well, where else could you get weather nice enough to wear flip flops in March?”

She giggled as he got a particular ticklish area. “Only in Nags Head.”  She nodded to the show that was on. “So, I caught this the first time when I was in San Diego. Have you ever heard of it?”

“What is it?”

“The show’s called ‘Dharma and Greg.’”

“I believe I have,” he said. “Some flower child marries a lawyer and chaos ensues when they decide to marry on the first date. So which one am I? Dharma or Greg?”

“Dharma,” she answered. “But opposites attract and make us better for it. Wouldn’t you agree, Mulder?”

He chuckled. “I might be inclined to. Do you want to keep it on this or find some nature documentary?”

“I like that and this version of Domestic Scully.”

“Did you lock the doors downstairs?”

“Yes,” he answered, “and I triple checked all the locks and windows. The only window that will be open is the one to our bedroom on the third floor.”

“And our weapons?”

“In the bedroom on the nightstands.”

She relaxed and nodded in approval. She withdrew her feet and switched her sitting position. She lounged against Mulder, wrapping his arms securely around her, and they enjoyed the rest of the comedy sitcom. He smiled into her arm and pressed a kiss, solidifying this moment in his memory. Even though there was a psycho that might be trying to kill them, he was the happiest he had been in a long time.

***********************

Mulder and. Scully had retired after television for a few more hours of watching prime time sitcoms. Scully disappeared into their bedroom and he did a quick lap around the beach house to check all their locks. By the time he got back up to their third-floor bedroom, he could hear the water running in the master bathroom.

“Mulder,” Scully called through the partially closed door. “Did you get everything you needed done?”

He could hear the partially slurred speech. “Is that wine I smell?” He dare not open the door. While this vacation had stress from fear of a psycho, it was bringing out sides of Scully he had only dreamed of and seen in one other lifetime. “Scully?”

“Hmm.” She giggled. “Maybe. Come join me, Mulder.”

“Where did you get the wine?”

He was already taking off his shirt and Scully’s laughter was causing his blood to boil in anticipation. “I snuck it in our last shopping trip,” she replied. She was giggling again. “Mulder, come on. There are still bubbles.”

Bubbles. “Aw, Scully.”

He pushed the door open slightly and saw her hair clipped back and a coffee mug in her hand. Most of her were covered by the bubbles from the jacuzzi so all that he saw was the one bare leg perched near the faucet. “Scully…” he crooned.

“What? Go grab yourself a coffee mug and bring the bottle with you!” She was smiling. Even though they decided to take their relationship to a new level, this still seemed so uncharacteristic of her. “Come on, Mulder. We’re on vacation.”

“I know we are,” he answered. He chose his next words carefully. “Weren’t you the one earlier who was concerned about our safety?”

“I’m not letting them get to me. Us. I was thinking about what you said earlier.”

“About telling your mom?”

“No. I want to try again when we get back to D.C.”

Mulder smiled and his concerns momentarily forgotten. “I’ll be right back.”

He went to the fridge, grabbed the open bottle, and a coffee mug from the fridge. She was smiling coyly at him. He topped off her coffee mug and shucked his jeans. In one fluid movement, he slid behind her and coiled his arms around her. “It’s a good thing you’re so small,” he teased. He kissed his favorite spot behind her ear. “Or else this w Scully lounged back into him. “I’ve been dreaming,” she whispered to him softly. She sipped the wine-filled coffee mug. “Don’t worry, it’s not any new past lives or anything.”

“I’m glad?”

She heard the question in his voice. “I am just thinking about this life and the last. Us. What could have been.”

Scully was always amazed how well they just worked together, either spiritually, or as she had discovered lately, physically as well. She sipped her wine. “Now or then,” he asked.

“Then. I still have a hard time believing it was real, Mulder.”

Together, they entwined their hands and caressed her flattened abdomen. He nuzzled her neck and closed his eyes. They both could remember those memories for the early 1860s, the joy of their unborn child, laying together, and dreaming about the future. “It was,” he replied. “And I don’t know how this whole past life thing works but we’ve been given a second chance.”

“By remembering?”

She turned her head in question and Mulder found her lips. “We’ll have that again.”

“Your faith is grounding.”

“Did you enjoy the lighthouse today?” He asked, changing the subject. “I was thinking why not tour all of them? We can drive back down to Cape Hatteras and climb the lighthouse there. Or drive an hour or so up to Corolla and climb the Currituck Lighthouse. And there are the ferries...Ocracoke, Knotts Island…”

“One day at a time, Mulder,” she laughed. “Today was Bodie Lighthouse. Tomorrow is Manteo. Tonight is this.”

“So,” he paused, setting aside both of the wine mugs. “Do you want to try to experiment and push the bounds of this fancy bathtub?”

“I bet you’re more effective than those water jets,” she challenged.

Mulder smiled and kissed her deeply. “I’ll get you to relax on this vacation.”

Scully just deepened the kiss and pulled him closer.

************************

Further up the barrier islands in Duck, North Carolina, Franklin Buckley, and Alex Krycek were at a small pizzeria nestled in a small outcrop of shops. Over shared slices and bad beer, they talked. “I still don’t get it,” Krycek started. “Why is this so fucking important to you? Mulder is no one.”

“Your boss is interested in them,” Buckley shrugged. “As a result, I am too.”

“I read your file you know.”

“Hell, I was in the papers.”

“And this somehow makes you the best choice?” Krycek sneered. “I still don’t understand that smoking bastard’s logic. I know you were in the papers. There is a fucking manhunt on for you.”

“And yet they can’t touch me.” Buckley waved the soggy pizza in the air. “We’re having pizza.”

“Why did the old man pick you?”

“Alexi…”

“Alex.”

“Alex.” Buckley grinned. “Have you ever wanted revenge so badly that you would do anything? Take back what is rightfully yours?”

Krychek grew quiet. “I have.”

“Then this is no different. It’s all a matter of waiting. I made the smoker an offer he couldn’t refuse. Are you going to finish that pizza?”

“No.” Krycek was distracted. He pushed the plate towards Buckley with his right arm. “Go ahead.”

“Must suck having one arm but I’ll tell you, this pizza is better than anything they served in the joint.”

“What’s your plan?”

“You’ll see. In the meantime, it is all the matter of waiting and seeing.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Wait and see.”

****************

Back in Nags Head, Scully stood on the deck with her arms around her. She watched the waves hit the shore as high tide came ashore. Mulder had run out earlier to pick up some dinner for them but, while he was gone, Skinner had called her cell phone with an update on the situation. While Buckley still had yet to be confirmed spotted, there had been an anonymous tip that Krycek was in league with Buckley. While the SACs of the branch offices were not as quick, Skinner was the one to make the connection. He hung up without giving Scully any orders to immediately return or what to do next. He promised to call her the next day if there had been any developments.

But this newest update from Skinner had left her uneasy. Their boss had danced around the possibility of recalling his two agents back from their vacation but had not stated anything directly. She watched the waves, memorized, and let her thoughts drift. This vacation of theirs was already turning south with each new update about Buckley. She was beginning to feel paranoid, like a haunting ghost on the edge of her vision. She sighed and looked up at the sky. The sun was setting behind her. Although she couldn’t see the sun at this point, it was already painting the sky in a brilliant canvas of colors and hues of reds, pinks, purples, and oranges. She tried to let herself get lost in the beauty of the moment but her anxiety grew worse.

She watched the last of the sun fade into darkness and went back into the beach house. Scully glanced at the green digital clock on the microwave and frowned when she read 7:13. Mulder should have been back by now. She tapped her knuckles lightly against each other to ward against the growing anxiety. She heard the main door unlock and his musical voice call, “Scully, I’m back! You’ll never guess what I picked up!”

She tried to refrain from clutching her pounding heart but failed. “Took you long enough!”

“I’m sorry, but you know how I get sometimes. Something catches my eyes and poof.”

She could hear him climbing the stairs, trying to juggle plastics takeout bags. He appeared, dropped the armload of food and a nondescript black plastic bag on the counter. He sneaked up behind her, kissed her, and whispered, “Miss me that much?”

She nodded, twisting her head to meet his kiss. “Always.”

He hummed and flexed around her. “You’re tense.”

“I spoke to Skinner earlier.” She tried to relax as she spoke. He hummed. “And I...let’s just discuss it tomorrow okay? We’ll lock the doors, keep our weapons nearby, and play it safe. Is that okay?”

“Whatever you say,” he whispered. “So, for dinner, I got us a surprise.”

“Dare I ask?”

He broke away but not before stealing another kiss. “We’re on the coast. You know the seafood is fresh. I literally just got it so you know it is good.”

“Get to point. Why were you late?”

“Well,” he shrugged, “I went up the strip a couple of miles and found this really cute place.”

“You just used the word cute.” She frowned teasingly, his lighter mood getting the best of her. “Did you find us china patterns?”

“That is a future date at the Alexandria farm market. I got us the best seafood.” He began to unpack the bags. “For starters, Agent Scully baked oysters.”

“An aphrodisiac, Mulder?”

He held up a finger to silence her. “Next, a course of shared soup, that is she-crab soup.” She laughed and hid her face. “Next, honestly I couldn’t decide between landlubbers and the sea, so a buffalo chicken wrap I think will heat up well tomorrow and a lovely scallop dinner…”

“I love scallops.”

“I know,” he laughed. “I got us a combo. Scallops and local shrimp with a salad and a baked potato. But, to answer your burning question, the reason why I took so long…” From his back pocket. She could hear the crinkling of a paper gift bag and he held out the mysterious wrapped package in the palm of his hand. “I saw this and immediately thought of you.”

“Mulder.”

With the food momentarily forgotten, she pulled off the paper and revealed a small velvet box. “You see, I can’t see you in another necklace than a cross or bracelets or rings but earrings...for sure.” She popped open the box and drew in a sharp breath. “Do you like them?”

“Mulder, these are beautiful.” She examined two fine little stud earrings with a sand dollars designed in the silver overlay. “Silver?”

“No, white gold.” He shrugged. “It was in this little kitschy shop run by a local artist who makes jewelry. I just thought.”

“I love them.” She awarded him with a kiss. “Thank you. In fact, I’ll put them on now just to show you.”

“You don’t have to. Besides, I know you well enough you will murder me first if I don’t feed you.”

“I am not that bad.” She closed the box and replied, “Thank you.”

“For what? Dinner or the earrings?”

“Everything.”

He pulled the plates and bowls down from the cabinet. Scully busied herself with fetching silverware and napkins, inwardly defeating the idea to tell Mulder about Skinner’s call until after dinner. He glanced out the window to the deck. “What about eating outside tonight?”

“Let’s eat at the breakfast island and then go outside. It was getting chilly while I was out there a while ago.”

He nodded and went to the radio in the living room. Mulder fiddled with the dial and settled on a classic rock station playing the Eagles. She set out dinner and he joined her. They silently sat next together over dinner. “So,” he asked, unsure of the silence, “what do you want to do tomorrow?”

She paused on the shrimp she was working on. “Skinner called while you were out,” she began. “Giving us an update. We got two SACs and field offices chasing this, along with Skinner, but no one has yet to confirm seeing Buckley aside from the fact they’ve flooded the airwaves with his picture. But there was an anonymous source that Krycek is involved.”

Mulder was quiet, cutting half of the baked potato. “Well, we both know the Smoker is involved. Morely’s were found on the site of his breakout.”

“I know,” she whispered. “He said he’ll update us again tomorrow and Skinner hasn’t ordered us back to Washington. Yet.”

“I sense a but coming, Scully.”

“But since we came down here, I can’t help but feel off or like we’re being watched or followed during all this.” She picked up her fork and dipped a scallop into the melted butter. “When we were at the lighthouse the other day…”

“You felt like we were being watched?”

She nodded, averting her gaze. “I know it doesn’t sound like me.”

“I trust your instincts, Scully.” He looked down at his own food. “And I got the same feeling too.”

“Our money would be gone.”

“But we would be safer.”

“As is our vacation.”

“Not necessarily.”

“I am not spending the rest of the two weeks we took off months in advance in an FBI safe house.”

“What would happen if we were closer for them to keep an eye on us? Skinner is in Norfolk right with the two SACs. Virginia Beach isn’t that far. I remember when we were there a few months ago hearing about Sandbridge. It was advertised to be like the Outer Banks without leaving Virginia. We could take the hit on the money and have the FBI pay for it.”

“Or get them to refund it and then pay for it. We’ve earned it at least.”

“I can’t agree more.” He sighed. “How do you want to play this, Scully.?”

“I want our vacation.”

“But?”

“I just can’t shake the feeling something is going to happen.”

Mulder rubbed his chin, forgetting he had melted butter all over his hands. She frowned and took a napkin, gently wiping it away. “Thanks. But back to your feelings,” he said. “I agree and have the same feeling.” He watched her reaction as she kept her face neutral like a poker player. “But I think we should consider our safety first.”

She nodded.

“What are you thinking,” he asked softly.

“That we can never catch a break. Let’s go outside after dinner and sit for a bit in the hammock. We can pack tomorrow after we call Skinner.” She sighed. “You know, I really was looking forward to having a real vacation with you.”

He nodded. “We can still have it,” he said.

“Can we? As I said, it feels like we can never catch a break.”

With the mood suddenly sourer, they both finished their meals and discarded the dishes. Scully hand-washed all the dishes they had been using, including the few sitting in the dishwasher. Mulder gathered a sweatshirt for her, two glasses, and the small bottle of aged rum he had purchased from them. She eyed the small liquor bottle. “I’m sorry, Mulder to be the downer of the party.”

He shook his head and walked over to her. He trapped her between the counter and his arms. She sighed, wrapped her arms around his neck, and rested her head against his chest. He smiled at her open display of affection. “You’re never the downer at a party.”

“I never told you about my first and last high school party.”

“Well, how about we part-tay outside to that hammock for one night and you can tell me. I’ll bring the booze.”

Scully chuckled. “What would my father say?”

“Hang and quarter him on the yardarm?”

“Aye,” she teased. She kissed him. “Help, I’ve been charmed by a pirate from New England who thought I was a mermaid.”

“That is terrible,” he whispered. They both smiled. “But more of an angel than a mermaid.”

“Let’s go outside. High tide was just coming in when I was out there earlier.”

Scully pulled on the sweatshirt he had brought her and the two glasses and the liquor bottle. Mulder followed behind her, turning out most of the lights as he did. She sat on the hammock like a big lounge chair and made room for him. She rocked it gently as Mulder eased himself next to her. “Let me do the swinging,” he told her. “My legs are longer.”

“Shut up, Mulder.”

Scully poured them both a drink and held up his. She chinked the glasses together. “To our vacation being ruined.”

“Well, if it weren’t for the x-files, we wouldn’t be here and I don’t regret a second of it with you.”

“Fox Mulder the sentimental,” she whispered lovingly. Mulder wrapped his arm tightly around her and she chuckled. “I love you.”

He smiled and whispered, “Not a single second.” His long legs began to rock them. “We’re going to be okay.”

She nodded absently. She rested against his arm and listened to the ocean. “We’ll go back to Virginia tomorrow.”

“I’ll tell Skinner to make plans to keep us in Virginia Beach.”

“And get us a beach house. I’m not staying in a motel.”

“Won’t argue with that.”

She sighed. “Fucking Buckley.”

“Fucking Buckley,” he agreed.

“So, it’s settled?”

“Yes. I’ll make the call. Right now, let’s just enjoy the beach.”

He nodded and rocked the hammock with his long legs as she closed her eyes and enjoyed the moment with Mulder.

[sherrybaby14]

The Viking’s Sannr Ast part 3

Description:  Viking AU, Bucky is the king of the Vikings who come to raid your village.

Warnings: THIS IS A NON-CON/RAPE STORY.  Please do not read if this offends you.   Also it’s just smutty smut, smut, smut.

Word: 4,200

Tags: @jademox @mrssgtjamesbuckybarnes @thecynicalnerd @marauderice @mac5323 @idonthavehusbandsihavelovers @negan-is-god @kellyn1604 @i-am-negan-trash @taintedgenre @xbergiex @bellaballanda @girlyfandomfighter13 @theariel85 @kyleannsmut @screeching-pterodactyl-fangirl @roschelesworld @chipilerendi 

A/N: This is for @jurassicbarnes   ‘s writing contest.  

Thank you so much for all the love for this story! It was a lot of fun to write!  

 Part 1      Part 2

                  Tears decorated the pillow.  You kept your hand on the space next to you, imagining his warm body there.  You couldn’t figure out what James wanted from you, but you couldn’t figure out what you wanted from him either.  None of this had been your choice, every bone in your body was screaming at you to hate the man, to fight back, but all you wanted was him next to you, holding you, stroking your hair.  A tiny sob came out.  Was it because you were disgusted with yourself or because he wasn’t here?  You could no longer tell.  

               The door to the room opened and you sat up, wiping your tears.  Your heart felt like it was going to burst when he balanced the tray on his arm as he shut the door.  The relief balanced out your crying and your eyes dried.    

                 “I should have realized you hadn’t eaten.” He set the food down on a table and waved for you to come over. “For that I apologize.”

                 You slipped the cloak back on as you moved to the table, your stomach growling at the mention of food. Both of you took a seat on opposite ends, the candle flickering light across the space.  It was bowl of soup and a glass of water.

                 “You will realize there is not much variety of food on a boat.”  He pointed towards the soup.  

                 “It smells delicious.”  You picked up the spoon and started to eat.  

                 His eyes were glued to you as you ate in silence. His mouth was sucked in and you could tell he was biting his cheeks.  You held the spoon down and slightly turned your head to the side, silently inviting him to speak.

                 “Eat.” He narrowed his eyes and pointed at the soup.

                 You took another spoonful.  James was not a talker, if you wanted your questions answered you needed to start the conversation.

                 “Are you going to kill me?”  You looked at him with wide eyes.

                 “Is that what you think Ast?”  A smile broke out on his face and he stood from the table. He circled around to your side and grabbed your hand, guiding you up.  Then he sat and pulled you down into his lap. “That I would bring you such pleasure to burn you alive? Sacrifice you to my pagan gods? Or do you think us cannibals? Wanting to eat your flesh?”

                 His hands tickled your side and you jerked forward, a smile spreading across your face.  There were lots to fear about this man, but maybe death wasn’t one of them.

                 “You don’t even know my name.”  You pushed his hands down and turned your head, looking at him with a smile to match your own.

                 “That was your old life.” He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “I am giving you a new one Ast.”

                 “Ast?” You raised an eyebrow. “Is that my name now?”

                 “Ast means Love in my language.” James grabbed your hand. “I will be the only one calling you that.”  

                 Love.   You forgot to breathe for a moment and dropped your chin. This man didn’t know you. How could he use the word so loosely? You pulled your hand from his and grabbed the water cup, downing the entire thing. James was giving you a new life, but what if you didn’t want one? The question that bothered you more was what if you did.  

                 “I need to use the washroom.”  You stood up from his lap.

                 His face was relaxed, but there was a warning in his eyes.  You looked away.  It did not matter, there was nowhere to run on the ship.  James stood up and walked to the corner of the room, opening a door.

                 “There is a chamber pot.” He pointed inside. “It will be changed out in the morning. I’ll have the tub filled tomorrow for you to bathe.”  

                 There was a candle lit in the small area and you nodded at him before walking in.   He shut the door behind you. You didn’t realize that confusion on this level was possible.  There was a small cabinet you grabbed a hold of, unsure if you would collapse or not. After taking a few deep breaths you steadied yourself and looked up.  There was a mirror in front of you.

                 The reflection looked like a stranger.  The candle gave you a glow, making your cheeks appear sunk in.  There were bags under your eyes and a cut on your cheek.  But what stood out the most were the markings on your neck.  You let the cloak slip down your shoulders to your elbows.  There were red and purple splotches covering your torso.  They didn’t hurt, but your hand touched them, unsure if they were real or not.  

                 The door cracked open.  You didn’t look away from your reflection as James walked up behind you.  He rested his hands on your shoulders and studied you, the two of you almost appearing as a portrait.

                 “This is how you will always look Ast.”  He lowered his head to your neck and kissed. “Covered in my marks.”

                 He sucked and pulled your skin into his mouth. You braced yourself on the cabinet and shut your eyes as a shudder went through you.  His tongue felt better on your skin than you wanted to admit.  

                 James pushed the cloak down and it slid to the floor. You opened your eyes and saw your bare chest in the reflection.  He sucked down harder and you cried out, tilting your head to the side for him.  His hands came forward and grabbed your breasts, he started kneading them, grasping at your mounds.  

                 The image in front of you had to be a stranger. A beautiful woman with a gorgeous man, giving in to her desires with wonton abandonment.  It could not be you.  The feel of his hands, mouth, and the vision in the mirror was too much. Your arousal started to trickle down your thigh.

               “Please.”  You moaned.

                 “Please what Ast?”  James lifted his mouth, but then put it on your throat again, sucking in a line all the way down to your shoulder, licking as he moved.  

                 His fingers pinched each of your nipples and you whined.  There was no doubting what you needed, but could you handle the shame of admitting it?

                 “I am yours.”  You brought a hand behind you and stroked it through his hair.

                 “I know.” He kissed his way across your back until he reached the other side of you neck.  You titled your head accordingly as he continued to roll your tiny buds in his fingers.  

               You crossed your legs and clenched your thighs, not to keep him out this time, but because you wanted some relief from the need growing in your core.

               “Please.”  You whimpered.  

                 James lifted his head from your shoulder and gave you the look of the devil in the mirror.  His hands left your body and pulled his shirt over his head.  He never stopped looking at you as he took off his shoes and pants.  Even though the light was dim and yellow the blue in his eyes never dulled.  If this man really was the devil you had dammed yourself for eternity.  

                 “Please what Ast?”  He was nude behind you now, his chiseled chest making the vision in the mirror even more erotic.

                 His hands traced up your side, making your breaths quicken.  He knew what you wanted, what you needed even, but he wouldn’t provide until you spoke the words.  Until you condemned yourself to him and the new life he wanted to give you.  

                 This morning in the barn was another time, another person.  A small voice told you not to forget, that you were still that girl scratching and clawing to get away.  But that was overshadowed by the memory of the pleasure the experience brought.

                 James grabbed your chin and moved your face towards his.  He planted a hard kiss on your lips  and you returned it, your tongue sliding into his mouth, probing and pacing with him. You were two waves, crashing into each other over and over until you formed one.  He pulled away and pushed his forehead to yours.

                 “Please take me.”  Your voice was barely a whisper.  

                 James kissed your shoulder and you turned back to face the mirror, spreading your legs on the floor and gripping onto the cabinet.  He aligned his cock at your opening and eased himself inside.  You arched your neck as your eyes rolled into the back of your head. He belonged inside of you.  Both of his hands went to your hips and he pulled out of you only to slide right back in.

                 “Look how beautiful you are.”  He bit your ear.

                 You looked in the mirror as your body jutted forward with his thrust.  

                 “Filled with your king’s cock.”  He locked eyes with you in the reflection. “Claimed by him.”

                 You moaned as he slammed back into you, having to grip the cabinet or risk falling over.  

                 “Enjoying the pleasure he brings you.”  James moved one hand to your chest and started teasing your nipple.  His other slid to the top of your pussy and his finger patted at your clit. “Begging him to fuck you.”

                 His words were turning you on almost as much as his hand.  He bit down on your shoulder again and you squealed.  

                 He rammed his cock in and out of you, using his hands to brace you.  With each movement he increased the pressure on your bundle of nerves and started rubbing in a small circle.  It didn’t take long until a scream ripped from your body.  Pleasure pulsated throughout as the moans exploded from your mouth.

                 “There’s my good girl.”  James continued to rub your clit, elongating your orgasm. “Conquered by her king.”

                 Your eyes moved from his to the vision in the mirror.  There was no way that was you. The glowing skin, the mouth gaping with pleasure, the sweat on the brow, the hazy lust in the eyes.  James moved both of his hands to your hips and pulled you down on him hard with a final thrust.

                 He exploded inside of you, his face an image of pure ecstasy in the mirror.  He was handsome, the most handsome man you had ever seen.  Seeing him this way filled you with pride.  Your body had provided him this release.  At this moment it didn’t matter if he was the devil or not.  You would go to hell for eternity if it meant seeing that expression on him again.

                 You were both gasping as he fell forward, his hands covering yours, steadying both of you on the cabinet.  You turned your head towards his and placed a light kiss on his lips.  He returned the gesture and rested his forehead against yours. You stayed like that for a moment, wanting to enjoy it before the confusion you had grown to accept came on.  

                 James moved behind you, his cock slipping out, causing you to moan at the loss.  He grabbed your hand and led you out of the tiny room.  

                 “Will you stay with me?” You asked as he walked to the bed.  

                 “Ast, this is my room.”  He laid down on the bed and pulled you on top of him. “Our room now.”

                 You curled up with your head on his chest as he stroked your back.  This was the contact you craved earlier and you never felt more satisfied.  The voices telling you this was wrong were quieted, sleep crept up and even they agreed you were exhausted.

                 “Angel.”  James squeezed you closer to him.  

                 You lifted your head and looked at him.  

                 “That’s what others will call you.”  He kissed your forehead. “Angel.”

                 Your name was tied to your identity.  But the person you were yesterday no longer existed. You wanted to become that woman in the mirror.  If she was James’ Angel so be it.

~~~

               When you woke the bed next to you was empty. There was no doubt the ship was moving as the room rocked along the sea.  There was a small window above the bed and you went on your knees to peer out.  Nothing but ocean as far as the eye could see.  

                 There was a knock on the door and you spun around, clutching the sheet to your chest.  

                 “Madam is it alright if I enter?” A feminine voice asked.  

                 You glanced around for clothes and remembered you didn’t have any.  The cloak was still on the bathroom floor and well passed the definition of dirty.  

                 “I’m not decent.”  You called out as the door began to open.  

                 “That’s alright.”  A tall woman about your age walked into the room.

                 Embarrassed you pulled the sheet over your shoulders. She did not seem to mind in the slightest as she dragged in some sort of sleigh with a gigantic bucket.  

                 “You don’t want to water to get cold.”  She smiled at you as she walked straight towards the bathroom.  

                 You heard the sound of water dumping and looked to see her moving suds into the tub.

                 “There’s some necessities the King thought you may need.” She didn’t look at you, but made it known she knew you were watching her. “My name is Wanda.  I can get your whatever you like.”

                 “Where is James?”  You wrapped the sheet around you and stood up from the bed.

                 “The King has to work.  I suppose he always has to work.”  She turned and smiled at you. “He will stop by to check on you when his schedule permits.”

                 The woman wore a plain dress, but not of the style you were familiar with.  Was she a captive like you?  Were you even a captive any longer?

                 “I’ll turn around if it makes you more comfortable.” She faced the wall.  

                 The steamy water looked so inviting, and your muscles were sore from yesterday.  You dropped the sheet and got in the tub, the bubbles blocking your body from view.  Wanda turned back around and grabbed a hair brush from the sled.  Then she walked around and grabbed your hair.  

                 “You don’t have to…”

                 “I want to.” She smiled at you. “I imagine this has been a…difficult time for you.”  

                 Difficult was a good way to describe it.  You sighed and she continued brushing your hair.  So much was unknown to you.  Last night James used the word love.  But were you a wife? A mistress? A love slave? Where was he taking you? Whenever you asked questions you only got short answers, or so nervous you asked the wrong ones.  Maybe you could try asking someone who wasn’t James.

                 “Are there a lot of women on the ship?” You thought you would start slow.

                 “No.” She continued to brush. “You and I are the only two.”

                 “Why are you here?” You were scared to hear the answer.

                 “It is bad luck for a ship not to have a woman on board.” She smiled. “It was simply my turn.”  

                 “So you’re a Viking?” You always pictured them blond.

                 “I suppose so.” She laughed. “But that is a term used by the Southerners, not us.”

                 “Where are we going?” Your body relaxed in the warm water and you let the question you cared more about slip.

                 “Home.” She was just as cryptic as James. “I’m not sure the name of it in English, or if there is one, but it will take about a week.”

                 A week?  Either these were the fastest boats in the world or the Vikings lived much closer than anyone realized.  

                 “You will like it there.” She brushed your hair. “Our people will welcome you.”

                 But welcome you as what?  You wondered if this was what the King did every time he went on a raid.  Were you going to join a harem?  

                 “What does Sannr Ast mean?”  You sat up and looked at Wanda.  

                 “There is no English equivalent.” Wanda dipped your hair in the water and started to wash it.

                 “Can you try to explain it? Please. You said this must be difficult for me, and the most difficult part is not knowing.  Am I some sort of slave? A piece of plunder?” You looked at her with pleading eyes.

                 “No.”  She grabbed your hand.  “Never say such things about yourself.”

                 “Please. Tell me.”  You squeezed her hand back.  

                 She glanced towards to door, but you didn’t break eye contact.  

                 “Sannr means truth.” She sighed. “Ast means love. When a ‘Viking’ lays eyes on his Sannr Ast he will know true love immediately. Your people used the word soulmate, but to us it is much much more.   A soulmate is a piece of dirt compared to a Sannr Ast. There literally aren’t words in your language capable of describing the importance.”

                 You felt like you were in a cloud. True love? James used those words the second he saw you. The way his eyes fixated on you, how gentle he was with you, the fury that had turned to fear when you ran away. All of these images ran in front of your eyes.  

                 “It means you belong to me.”  James’ voice made you whip your head around.  

                 He stood in the doorframe, looking down at you with intense eyes.  Wanda scurried passed him and he walked into the bathroom.  

                 “It means I will never let you go.”  He knelt next to the tub, his intensity making your heart race. “It means I would burn the entire world to the ground to find you. It means you will be my side always. It means you will bare my children. It means you will be the only love I will know for the rest of my days. It means I own you, body, mind, and soul.”

                 He leaned his head closer to yours.  You wanted to scoot back, but knew he would reach out and grab you if you tried.  

                 “And it means, I am yours even more so than you are mine.”  His moved his lips to yours.  

                 It felt like his lips were made of lightning bolts that sent sparks through yours.  This was crazy.  The man kidnapped you, was sailing you away from your homeland, taken your maidenhead, and now was confessing his love. All in the course of twenty-four hours.  

                 You did not believe in soulmates, and could not comprehend what Sannr Ast meant, but you could not deny that you enjoyed James’ lips. You enjoyed the pleasures he brought you, and, even though you were not a slave, you enjoyed the way he owned you.

                 The realization made you moan and his tongue slid into your mouth.  You held his face as you moved closer to him, swooshing water over the side of the tub in the process. James dipped his arms in the bath and grabbed you, spilling more water onto himself and the floor.  Then he lifted your wet body out of the tub.  

                 His blue eyes were crystal clear, but yours were clouded with lust.  He turned around to carry you to the bed and you went for his neck, clamping your mouth on his skin and sucking, while flicking your tongue.  He let out a groan and you ran your teeth on his throat.  

                 When you made it to the bed he gently set you down. It was a stark contrast to the way he tossed you last night, but both ways did excite you.  He watched you as he stripped and you made no move to cover yourself.  You didn’t want to deal with inner turmoil, you just wanted him and didn’t feel the need to hide it.  You opened your arms, wanting to feel his body on top of yours.  

                 He gave you a wicked grin and instead grabbed one of your legs, sliding it up the bed so your knee was in the air.  Then he pushed the other to the side, spreading your sex out for him.  You were only starting to get used to being nude and this was too much.  You started to shut your legs.

                 “No no no.”  James grabbed your knee and positioned himself between your thighs. “I want to see how you taste.”

                 Before you could ask what he meant he leaned forward and ran his tongue up your slit.  You gasped and went up on your elbows.  His tongue started right on your clit flickering back and forth.  His blue eyes were glued to you as his mouth worked.

                 He closed his lips and sucked on the sensitive bud and you squealed, almost shutting your legs on his head.  Then you felt his finger circling your entrance and your eyes went wide.  You wanted something inside of you, needing a balance from the attention your clit was getting.  Your hips moved closer to him, but his finger moved back.  

                 “Un-un.”  He did not lift his mouth and the vibration from his words made you moan and drop your head back to the pillow.  

                 You panted and writhed when he went back to flicking his tongue, trying your hardest not to scream as he teased you. When his finger returned to circling you let out a whimper, certain that all you needed was his hand to reach your orgasm.  He ran his fingers up and down your slit, spreading your juices and his saliva on to them.  

                 His teeth started lightly grazing your encouraged bud and a loud moan came out.  

                 “I do love those noises sweet girl.”  He blew on your clit and you let out a shriek. “And you taste even better than you look.”

                 He lifted his head and watched your face. This finger went back to teasing your hole and you looked up at him with pleading eyes.  Then his hand slid back further and you let out a frustrated cry. It was soon silenced when you felt him prodding at your rear. Before you could object he slid it inside your ass making you gasp at the intrusion.  It burned, and you bucked your hip to get it out, but James dipped his head back and started sucking on your clit with force.  

                  “AHHHHH!”  You arched your back.  

                 He began moving the finger in and out of your bottom while sucking and licking your clit.  It brought so many sensations you were not familiar with that you couldn’t concentrate or object to either.  Then he brought his other hand up and slid a finger inside of your pussy.   You felt like you were going to explode as the two hands worked on an opposite rhythm, giving you a whole new sense of full.   Then he jammed his tongue down hard on your clit and you could not take it any longer.

                  Your whole body felt like it was burning and freezing at the same time.  This man unleashed so much pleasure in you there were no words that could describe how alive you were feeling.  It was as if every inch of your body had its own being.  His hands were gone and you focused on him just as he was lining up his cock with your pussy.

                 With one hard thrust he was in you to the hilt. He grabbed each of your legs and brought them up to his shoulders, kissing your ankles in the process.  He pulled out and slammed back into you, hitting you directly on your pleasure center.

                 You moaned uncontrollably as he pulled out and slammed back in, feeling the tip of his cock so deep it was almost painful. He started to work into a rhythm, pulling out and filling you with long hard thrusts.  It didn’t take long until all of the fires he started were reignited.

                 “JAMES!” You screamed his name as you gripped the sheets and thrust your chest forward, this orgasm even more powerful than the previous.

                 With a grunt he plowed into you one last time. Your pussy greedily clamping down on him as your muscles spasmed from the orgasm.  He emptied himself inside of you and your legs slid from his shoulders as he collapsed on the bed next to you.  

                 Both of you were panting and he kissed the top of your head, before pulling you closer.  You weren’t sure if it was because of the orgasms or because of this Sannr Ast business, but for a moment all was forgotten and you were grateful for this man.

                 “I won’t leave you.”  You felt guilty about running in the woods.

                 “You don’t have a choice.”  He said the words as if he were stating an obvious fact: the sky is blue.

                 “But if I did, I wouldn’t.” You looked up at him with heavy lids.  

                 He gave a half smile and pulled you into his arms. You rested your head on his chest again.  All sense of logic seemed to have vanished, but you didn’t care.  There was no denying feelings were growing on your end. You didn’t know about Sannr Ast, but maybe you were his Angel as much as he was your Viking.  That ‘your’ had a nice ring to it now.