#i am not sure what im saying
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Something something āborrowing the grief of the past and lending it to your future will devolve into a self-imploding cycleā
Okayyy ouroboros !!! - but on a real note, technology has only aided in my emotional confinement. Google photos likes to show pictures from years i donāt remember, filled with people who have faded from my life. I donāt want to see videos of my ex girlfriend giggljng at my cat, but i am happy to have experienced it once. I only needed to be in that memory once, why does it come back every year, every other month, or every couple weeks ?
I think people are crippled by their emotions in a sense, we live to feel through replication. If we know something will make us happy once, why not try for a second time ? Even happy emotions seem to be manufactured and cluttered with nostalgic ideals, and the cycle starts again when faced with a slight deviation from old memories.
Anywho, all my experiences feel like a rebound for the initial memory. Take what resonates ig
#moodboard#just woke up and i have some thoughts#this could be a dirk strider moodboard if you squint to iām tagging ts dirk#i am not sure what im saying#dirk#homestuck#dirk strider#stuck in my memories#yasss#ult dirk#a study on clinging to your youth#maybe#emo#lol#rambles#writing
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soon it'll be dawn again
transcript under the cut ā¬
page 01
Fig: no way? - you're still up?
Riz: Whā yes?
Riz: Why'd I not be.
page 02
Fig: I me~~ean - that took.
Fig: whole day.
Riz: Yeah?
Fig: 'm beat.
Riz: you should sleep.
page 03
Fig: nah. my guy's still up
Fig: I wanna hang out.
page 04
Riz: That's really nice.
Fig: Hah! - Nobody ever expects an Archdevil rockstar to be nice.
Riz: ā¦ yeah. - 's just budget work tho. (the stuff I'm working on) - I've heard it's boring.
page 05
Fig: yeah, but you do itā¦
Riz: It keeps things going, right? - Nothing happens if nobody sits down and - does the thing.
Fig: That's rightā¦ - though. Yeah.
page 06
Fig: sometimes it's someone else who - doesn't want the same thing to happen.
Riz: ā¦ - mm.
page 07
Riz (off screen): ā¦It took me a long time to get that not everyone likes doing what I do. - 's probably because you guys are so niceā - or. - kind.
Riz (off screen): to anyone too, not just. - the people you /love/.
page 08
Riz: that's not how it is elsewhere. - The world'sā not. hostile. - but 's not like it's kind.
Riz: So I'm doing as much as I can nowā¦Ā
page 09
Fig: Hey.
Riz: ?
Fig: Go dig some dirt with me.
page 10
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - oh you meant like - actual dirt. (not incriminating information)
Fig: o yea.
Fig: there's clay in the backyard soil. - sometimes when I'm sun deficient or something I go touch dirt for a bit.
page 11
Fig: here u go
page 12
Riz: uh
Fig: now we make a thing! - 'm pretty good at freehanding a bowl.
Fig: I'll show u
page 13
Fig: justā yep, flatten that out as evenly as u can, thenā! - actually ur nails'd be so good at cutting out the strip. [larger than usual space] wait. - wait. wait u can carve patterns with them! we HAVE to try
Riz: uh - What. do I carve?
Fig: anything!!!
page 14
Fig: andā yep just seal the inside uh. seam?
Fig: yep that works - okay time's up! all contestant hands up
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - okay - wh. what's next?
Fig: haha - watch this.
(sound effect text): FWOOāMP
page 15
Riz: WHā DON'T JUST DO THAT???
Fig: Now it's fired!
Riz: THAT WAS NOT SAFE
Fig: (actually it's just dry. if u add water rn it'll dissolve)
Fig: ok catch!
Riz: [blank speech bubble] - careful!!
Fig: dw no need haha
page 16
Riz (thought bubble): oh - it's warmā¦
Fig: now I want you to throw this.
page 17
Fig: u gotta do it - c'mon
page 18
Riz: whā - It's like 3AM right now
Fig: oh it's not /fired/ fired it's not gonna make a loud noise
Riz: And then just? leave a pile out here?
Fig: pour water over it & it'll be gone I told u
Riz: but
page 19
Fig (off screen): RIz.
page 20
Fig: I've done all this before.
Fig: Can you trust that at least?
page 21
Riz: no, Iā - I do. - I trust you.
page 23
Riz: okay what happens now
(sound effect text): glob
page 24
Fig: we do it again!
page 25
Riz: wh. [larger than usual space] What do you mean. (this clay's too wet also)
Fig: see! you're already learning
Fig: [blank speech bubble] - there are flows that are futile to fight. - The world changes.
Fig: Things change.
page 26
Fig: I've learned my lessons with "forevers". - But - as an artist
Fig: I can give you one thing: - You can always do it again.
page 27
Fig: most of everything depends on the rest of the world, - but this. - making new. - that's yours as long as you want it.
page 28
Fig: So?
page 29
Riz: Yeah. - Yeah! - let's make another one.
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#riz gukgak#figueroth faeth#technically no spoilers in this comic but listen. I Will be gloating in tags. I will Never Shut Up#for the record!! this was fully conceptualized and sketched Before the finales. I started sketching this after the boat fight#and when murph closed riz's arc this season with ''maybe it's okay to change and welcome new things'' I pogged irl#I am simply the best at reading comprehension what can I say! (<- grown ass man with roughly the same perspective on teenhood as the player#fucked up that this became so long (almost 30 squares lol) that it took me this long to finish#lmao I say all that but. genuinely I am delirious and my feelings abt riz's arc this season are so big... I was getting psychic backlash#for a While lol. it was scary!!#had to sit down and do therapy on my own ass for a bit. the teenage apocalyticisation is real. that word isnt tho Im pretty sure#truly anything you do at that age feels like that's it that's all you've got going on forever. and its not true! its simply not true#you'll be okay my guy. you love your friends so so much but also there will be more to love out there#this one goes out to fellow aroaces and also folks leaving somewhere theyve called home for a long time#nothing lasts forever but that means new things come by too! ur ability to make new is infinite!!#there's no magnum opus people leave but new people come by too etc. I am too sleepy to remember what I wanted to say uhhh#well. thank u for looking at my art. I think thats the one pack it n ship it boys
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āTake my handā a comic for NaruMitsu Week 2023
day 1 - lies & secrets - 2 - 3 - 4
#nmweek23#narumitsu#wrightworth#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#probably more accurate to say this is mnm? or nmn or whatever lol#so treat the ship name lightly and dont get mad when miles [redacted redacted redacted redacted] yknow?#i wouldnt spoil it wheres the fun in that Ā¬āæĀ¬#fan art#fan comic#aa#rendevok#this is like. vaguely aa5 and on because i couldnt be assed to play those games yet#love their waistcoats tho YUM#also future warning i still suck at writing so if this is ooc! iām sorry idk what im doing but i sure am doing it bb#iāll update this post with links to the others as i post them! youāre in for about 30 pages so ā” ā” ā” hope you have an appetite for sweets#(i say as if i didnt just post angst) IT WAS THE PROMPTS. THE PROMPTS MADE ME DO IT
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hello denizens of tumblr i come with humble offerings
they wish to romance you
#HIHIHIIIIHIIII ITS BEEN A WHILE!!!!#IVE STARTED COLLEGE!!!!#AND IM SO BUSY BUT IM HAVING SO MUCH FUN#BIOLOGY IS SO FUN TOO!!!#I love love love science and biology#what was I saying??#oh yeah HELLOO!!!!#IM STILL ALIVE AND KICKING#crying about statistical inferences but still alive#im going to be busy for a long time but i promise i still care yāall#and if i left any one of you on read i am sorry#im going to respond to all of you in just a minute i prommy life has just been insane so far#insanely good and bad ways#ive learned about people i thought i knew and about subjects i never thought i would understand#okay okay okay enough treating my blog like my diary#thats what my sketchbook is for!! xD#fnaf#fnaf fanart#dca#dca fandom#the dca#the daycare attendant#fnaf sb#security breach#sun fnaf#moon fnaf#sundrop#moondrop#love yaāll make sure to take care of yourselves#chicken doodles
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hlvr based things :]
#i have not been able to watch bbvrai yet !! even then idk if i will i am severely disinterested in brba#i WILL watch bbvrai and have fun about it though donāt get it twisted#<- EDIT 2: i meant to say im not sure iāll Draw anything for it. said smth completely contradictory and then said ādonāt get it twistedā#hlvrai#hlage#<- im fairly certain thatās the gnome run tag but what does the e stand for. half life alyx gnome E-something#hl2vrai#the art gallery#EDIT: ITāS GNOME EDITION i genuinely couldnāt figure it out ANDNSJJS thank you for telling me !
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breaking the sign in two by how hard im tapping it
#im putting the word queerbait in a very tall box on a very tall shelf and none of you get it back until you actually learn the definition#sjonnies edits#queerbait#queer media#queer#queer issues#there are real queerbaits! a lot of them! but i am SO sick and tired of everything that's not explicitly stated be called queerbait#or when the focus in an action movie is not the full romance#would the hero and the girl have kissed in a straight action movie? sure. but even now more often than not that doesn't happen or the focus#is different entirely#the world doesn't change overnight. but you know what helps changing it? watching the media that's implying it! NORMALISING THAT MEDIA!#showing the studios that it isn't popularity suicide. encouraging actors to diversify and give them the respect they need without turning#every conversation an actor playing a queer character into what their sexuality is!#venom#deadpool and wolverine#loki#911#<- which. btw. fucking INSANE thing to say#also queer characters CANNOT be used for queerbait#QUEER CHARACTERS CANNOT BE USED FOR QUEERBAIT#they can be buried! but they CANNOT be used for queerbait because they. are. queer.
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I've seen a couple of takes about Disco Elysium being copaganda going around recently, and beyond the fact that DE is relentlessly critical of the police force in general and makes explicit reference to the failures of the system that allow the officers in game to abuse their power, I also think it's important to note that there very literally is an in-world version of copaganda that the writers of the game use to parody that romanticised view of the brutality of policing. The RCM at their inception were structurally inspired by in-world copaganda- their culture, their "fashions, even weapon preferences, borrow heavily from classic Vespertine cop shows." Every investigation is it's own little drama, every officer imagining themselves to be the bad-ass hero of their own crime serial. Detectives name their cases like they're naming episodes of a TV series in a "robust but literary system"; a title that "draws inspiration from snoop fiction and Vespertine cop show staples". They give themselves nicknames to sound like cool, suave fictional officers- Ace, Dick Mullen, etc.- from the cool, suave world of copaganda.
The legend of the RCM's inception, the "point of contention" over its uncertain origins, is even an extention of that; the whole organisation is shrouded in this self-fictionalising mythos that allows for distance that in turn obfuscates much of its violence to the officers that participate in it. They get to convince themselves that they're not abusing their power; they're the hero of the story! The dichotomy of "good guy" taking out the "baddies," a manifestation of the libertarian fantasy of the "good guy with a gun" who does what it takes, just like in Annette's detective novels, and at the same time who rails against oversight bodies like Internal Affairs/'the rat squad' because due process slows down the immediate satisfaction of Swift Justice, despite Internal Affairs existing to protect the citizens from overreach on behalf of the police. "Wanton brutality" from police in their real world is a cold bitter reality but Dick Mullen was "made to crack skulls," "bend the rules and solve cases no one else can," and which version of that story is more comforting to the overworked, underfunded officers of the RCM?
The level of fantasy and detachment required for the cops to still see themselves as the good guys after everything that they do in the line of duty mimics The Pigs and her breakdown too; she parallels Harry so clearly. Both "did right by the kids" in the past, hoping for a better future- Marianne (The Pigs) by looking out for Titus and the Hardy boys when they were young, Harry in his role as a gym teacher. Both abandoned and left behind by the system that the RCM uphold- a brutal capitalist landscape with no safety nets. Both turning the source of their trauma into a costume, a performance, a shield, shaped by "radio waves and cop shows." The Pigs uses RCM items scavenged from the Esperance where they'd been thrown away, while Harry uses the Dick Mullen hat that Annette gives him but both are essentially in costume.
Harry identifies himself with the fictional detective as a kind of wish fulfilment; Dick Mullen is "wicked smart." He doesn't fuck up his cases and when he's sad it's not pathetic; it's effortlessly cool brooding and everyone sympathises. Everyone loves him. His violence- "skull crack[ing]"- is justified because he's a "good guy" enacting that violence against the victims of police brutality sorry "bad guys". He doesn't ever face repercussions; "Dick Mullen won't be sent to the clink for the sake of some legal niceties!" So if Harry is Dick Mullen then his failures, his breakdown, they're all just a part of being a "bad-ass, on-the-edge disco cop." He's not wrong, he's a hero! This idealised fictionalised idea of the police force, this "new, sadly better, reality" that both Harry and The Pigs cling to is "escapist stuff," "receed[ing] into a ludicrous fantasy world," so far removed from the brutal material reality that they're in.
My point is, idk. Disco Elysium is so far from being copaganda. It is a multi-million word long dissection of it, of the purpose of policing, of state sanctioned violence and its interaction with capital and the fallout experienced within the wider community as well as the trauma cycle created for individual officers. A dissection of how copaganda interacts with RCM culture and perception, and by extension how we interact with irl perceptions of police through that lens.
#ouaghhhhhhh disclaimer; i am bad with words and im not sure that i've properly expressed what i'm trying to say but this is getting so long#the cops are not meant to be the good guys#if you think i've missed something here pls let me know!!#disco elysium#harry du bois#DE rambling#marianne leplante#the pigs#actually just one last note- this isnt in response to any one particular thing ive seen but a few different posts comments and articles
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST REIGEN!!
everyone thanks you for entering their lives :')
#i like making reigen sob his ass off... hes an ugly crier for sure#the balloons were each drawn by the three of them tee hee#dont think i have to say this but plz dont...tag *yknow what ship* ...not trying to spark a fire im a bit worried of ppl misinterpreting?#mob is very dear to reigen their bond is extraordinary... i feel like a peck on the cheek would be normal to them yknow what i mean#i dont see them necessarily as father and son but more like brothers/cousins/family friends... but more complex i suppose#the point is that they saved each other so a kiss on the cheek as a thank you would make sense!#also once again this looks like serirei art but it isnt... im not capable of making them not look gay am i... good god im a mess!#im just glad i finished something for his bday i wouldve kicked the shit outta myself for missing it#actually i did a bit of the reigenweek prompts let me finish some of those... i got the reigen bug lately and draw him lots :)#my art#mp100#mob psycho 100#reigen arataka#shigeo kageyama#serizawa katsuya#ekubo
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ok the last post was infodump friendly. this one is NOT.
i expect you to explain your/something about your magic system as badly as possible. i want to be confused. i want to lack context.
i'll start:
big wyrm gives off radiation that is also magic. ohhh no gas.
#i am definitely not doing these posts because im procrastinating actually working on my stories what makes you say that#writeblr#original fiction#writers on tumblr#writeblr tag games#maybe? you guys can do it if you want#im not sure who to tag tho so im just leaving this open#creative writing#magic system#worldbuilding
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āgotham gazetteā newspaper promo for āthe penguinā hints at harvey dent addition to the universeā āis our legal system dented beyond repair?ā + riddler crumbs :>
#not sure how trustworthy this promo is as a reference to canon bc the penguin show has been stated to take place a week after part 1 and in#here there are references to the flood being months ago#when i noticed that i thought mayb it could b set after the show? but that wouldnāt make any sense bc surely the paper would be discussing#the events of the show and the mob war. they talk about alberto and not sofia whoād undoubtably be mentioned here if it was written#after the events of the penguin.#also just to note#the date on the side says september but thatās just for the nyt and irl date.#since part one takes place early november#so take this with a grain of salt. im basically taking what doesnt differ with canon as canon and discarding the rest#wish i could get my hands on one of these but sadly promo is happening in nyc where i am not. sigh#love all the work that went into this tho#the coffee stain!#all the promo for this universe has been so creative and well done#the batman#reevesverse#the penguin#two-face#harvey dent#riddler#edward nashton#batman#mine
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thank you
#cowmix#im not sure what else to put here#other than this is a comic ive wanted to make for a long time#and i really. really appreciate the continued support#i have never and will never run off with money. i never want to. if you have paid me for something and i never made it-#please reach out to me. i have felt like a corpse for many many months. but i know i can get better. i know i *am* getting better#i want to finish my queues and focus on personal projects and a better patreon. i want to make big beautiful fun art.#but. like the comic says. i have bills to pay. i have to keep taking work. i have Actual brain damage and am a slow artist#on top of the Aforementioned Everything Else#i'll probably never be able to fully express my gratitude#but. love love love love forever to everyone whos still here#love love love love forever to everyone who believes in me#thank you
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guess who finished tlok tonight and immediately had this come to him in a vision!!!!
#i. really like tlok. like a lot#i understand why people dont like it#and i can accept that OBJECTIVELY its not that great#but i had a fantastic time with it#anyways yeah. gay people#tbh. would not call zhu li and varrick normal. most queer straight couple on the planet.#hes a gay man. shes a lesbian. theyre in love. do you get it.#i dont have that many thoughts abt wuko. i really really like it though.#wu is like the webkinz milk cat to me. i need to throw him against a wall really hard.#and of course. korrasami. what is there to even say there#one thing i will say is before watching it i TOTALLY thought asami was a fire bender and also evil#like i kept thinking āyep this is when she turns evil and then theres enemies to loversā but nope#not a bender or evil and honestly im glad#she totally wouldve been justified in becoming evil though. i sure wouldve#love her.so much#korra too ofc#i have SO MANY more thoughts but im gonna run out of space#last thing i will say is i am a guy who will just always prefer media i can criticize#love atla. but theres nothing there for me to really sink my teeth into or like bitch about#i love it when media is KIND OF BAD and i can RANT ANGRILLY about it#the legend of korra#tlok#legend of korra#korrasami#wuko#zhurrick#korra#asami sato#mako tlok#prince wu
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hello griddlehark nation... the universe saw fit to release me from writer's block long enough for me to bring you bring you 2k of PWP featuring:
trans butch stone top Harrow straps dykegender pillow princess Gideon within an inch of her life
The inherent eroticism of scars that haven't fully regained sensation, needing to take a rest break during sex, and Being Used
Sex boots, which are for indoor use only and therefore allowed on the bed
2k words PWP | Rated E (18+)
#griddlehark#tlt fic#the locked tomb fic#my fic#subbottom gideon nav cinematic universe i am back ā¼#not sure what else to say about this one. im going to go eat a burger now. the sex boots are allowed on the bed
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julian bashir is like kirk in the sense that who ever they share the screen with they either look like they're flirting with them or they are flirting with them, but they both have one persone they are down horrendously for. and its an alien who lies? always lies? never lies? who knows
#yeah and i am obsessed with both#what does that say about me???#im not sure i wanna know#star trek tos#star trek ds9#julian bashir#jim kirk#star trek
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What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)
#witch hat tag#orufrey#er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this.#wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on#i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head#that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it...#some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself...#maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts.#orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway#i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles#btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20#well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10#and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most#(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era#that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little.#certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye#idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'.#i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle#just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit#let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')
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Bernie Sanders finally made a statement, on Nov. 4, calling for a "pause" in the bombing. People in the replies are saying "better late than never!" and I don't even know where to start.
The genocide has been going on for almost a month. Over 9,000 men, women, and children have been murdered. Thousands more have been wounded. Members of press and healthcare and their families have been deliberately targeted and assassinated. Israel has been murdering civilians en masse with impunity for weeks, both lying about it and blatantly admitting to it. 100+ Palestinians have been murdered in the West Bank due to settler terrorism backed by the Israeli army.
In an interview, Dr. Ofer Cassif, the Knesset member who was suspended for calling for an end to Israeli violence against Palestinians, revealed that he'd reached out to Bernie months prior to Oct. 7th because of the pogroms being carried out by Israelis against Palestinians which he said would result with an "explosion [of violence]", but received no response.
what the fuck do you mean "better late than never". what the fuck do you mean? the genocide is still ongoing, and, just like Blinken, Biden, and every complicit ghoul, he's calling for a pause. not a ceasefire. a ceasefire is just the start of what needs to happen. but he hasn't even called for that.
"better late than never" what gives you the fucking right to say that? tell that to the 10,000 people who the U.S. and its allies allowed Israel to murder. tell that to the thousands of wounded. tell that to the thousands who have been displaced. tell that to the people of Gaza who have been without food, water, and fuel for WEEKS. tell that to the Palestinians in the West Bank who are being murdered at the hands of settler terrorists. tell that to the Palestinians who were abducted and tortured and released with blue bands around their ankles. tell that to the Palestinians in occupied Palestine who can't reach their families and friends. tell that to Palestinians in diaspora who have seen their families, their friends, their people slaughtered with the full backing and support of the vast majority of western governments and media.
"better late than never" no, it's not good enough. IT'S NOT. there are SO many people around the world - both citizens and members of government - who recognized the injustice for what it was the DAY the bombing started. we owe the Palestinian people so much more than that. "better late than never" the ONLY thing that could POSSIBLY begin to even "make up" for the horrors and injustices inflicted upon the Palestinian people for almost a century is to end the genocide, end the occupation, end the apartheid, end settler colonialism, and dismantle the colonial state. Palestinians deserve NO LESS than total emancipation. Complete liberation. until then, it is not and will never be enough.
#sorry for spiel i just. got so mad. 'better late than never' DO YOU SEE ANY PALESTINIANS SAYING THAT? I WONDER WHY!#also the idea that we can just 'forgive and forget' if a ceasefire is called is insane and out of the question.#there is NO going back to 'business as usual'. we CANNOT and should not expect things to 'how they were before'.#god. i just. USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also this is not like a total endorsement of cassif idk much about him im adding him in as a means to point to bernie's complicity#as far as im concerned bernie is just as complicit as everyone else.#if you are a bernie fan do NOT @ me i am NOT going to debate on this.#im sure hes not all evil nto all bad but it doesnt MATTER. he is COMPLICIT and that will not change. not for the rest of his LIFE.#people like tlaib and c. bush knew what was what within the first days of the bombing. theres no fucking excuse for his inaction!#AND I SAY ALL OF THIS AS SOMEONE WHO LIKED BERNIE.#š.zip
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