#i am not religious but it’s. yeah. yeah | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gemmahale · 1 day ago

Text

Here's the thing. I'm in a red state, in a county that went red.

I knew that when I moved out here four years ago. (Yes, it was April 2020 and no, I do not recommend moving during a global pandemic.) I accepted that that would be part of it. I made my peace with it, and I do what I can to mitigate the effects.

I'm not scared for me (minus the bodily autonomy thing since my state now has a 12 week abortion ban, and the general fuckery of facists in power) because tbh, I'm white and cis-het passing.

I'm nonbinary and bisexual. Can't tell any of that unless I tell you, and I don't make it well well known. I use she/her at work, wear skirts and dresses, and respond to Mrs/Ms Gemma or Hale (actually folks use my legal first or last name 😉); though Dr. is preferred if I get the choice.

I fly under the radar as a quirky white woman. I'm relatively "protected."

In the wake of the election results rolling out, I'm apprehensive for:

Kallen, who is white-passing Cherokee and a disabled veteran. I've been party to how he's treated differently than I am - by the same checker at the store not more than 5 minutes apart. He moved out here after I established my career, so he had little to no input of where we moved to (other than "I want to be with you.")

My coworkers who already face harassment for being POC in the community (including foreign exchange students that come to do part of their PhD here because of the proximity to the university system). People have been chased out of their positions here due to the racism they've experienced.

My coworkers who would seek to have an abortion (I'm included in this myself).

The LGBTQ+ community here (remember - I'm not out out).

The immigrant and POC communities here

And folks beyond my immediate viscinity

A lot of the community operates on a "mind your shit" basis. But I have to look people in the eye with Trump 2024 caps on and answer their questions politely. I have to drive by trucks with religious bumper stickers and greet them and give them scientifically sound information.

I wanted to believe in a world that valued competency and skill; and then I remember: I was the only one that applied to this job in the boondocks, and we've struggled to get positions filled out here. And I know part of it is not because of the low cost of living or lack of proximity to major shopping centers/social options. 🙃

I'm poking around into what local groups I can get into and donate my time to. My job puts me in direct access with food security resources, so that's probably where I'll start. Perhaps tie into the LGBTQ community because I know there's an active group out here. (I want to get more involved in the community anyway.)

I have to swallow this fear I have of being connected to causes while in my position. Yes, my employer is technically neutral ground, but that doesn't mean I have to be. I am allowed to be civically involved, as long as I make it clear when I am working in a work capacity (branded gear, name tag, etc.) and as a private citizen.

I admittedly got spooked when I received a few letters (to my private address, mind you) stating that I was a poor representative of my institution because I didn't maintain my yard like I should when I first started. (It was a whole thing and got escalated up higher than it needed to and yeah. I still have those letters in my office.)

But folks are starting to know me, and I'm starting to know them too. I need to cast this fear I have aside and be true to my values - accessibility, inclusivity, equity, and justice.

#gemma rambles #I just needed to talk through this #I'm empathetically scared #if that makes sense #I'm scared for everyone else more than myself #My dad at the last Trump Election #'We'll make it through. We always have.'#I countered with 'What about those that haven't?'#I'm pretty sure he's changed his tune on that in recent years #Had I been in a better position (aka not in grad school)#I would have gotten involved in that city moreso than I did #Sorry this turned into a confessional almost

15 notes · View notes

even-disco-baby · 2 years ago

Text

LILIENNE, THE NET-PICKER — The firelight softens Lilienne’s harsh edges. She seems to bleed into the village itself. It is made of her, and she is made of it.

CUNO — The boy practically stuffs himself to the gills with spiced broth and soft bread from your own hearth. His normally sallow cheeks are flush with the warmth.

WASHERWOMAN — Isobel’s wizened face breaks into a sunbeam smile. Her hand still rests on your sleeve, and when she leans into you to catch her breath, you lean in to meet her without a moment’s thought.

INLAND EMPIRE — You are finally, *finally* looking into the true face of your god.

#disco elysium #harry du bois #lilienne carter #cuno de ruyter #isobel sadie #ok this one is like so short and devoid of context but u know what it’s fine. that’s literally what i made this blog for #anyway here’s how bad end harry can still win—#something something love is a religion to harry #but the divine thing he’s searching for is so much simpler than he thinks #which is to say. shoutout to all the meals i’ve cooked for my friends this year #i am not religious but it’s. yeah. yeah

169 notes · View notes

inkskinned · 1 year ago

Text

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

29K notes · View notes

seven-tastic · 7 months ago

Text

that one silly pijama thingy but its aventiopaz

#honkai star rail #hi tumblr people ive been playing hsr religiously since it came out last year but i go through phases NHJSDFJKMFSD #but yeah aventurine hit me like a FUCKING TRUCK so here we are #ill tell my kids this was marilukerosa #sorry i am a sucker for trios yes ill be drawing more of them #they're all wives for each other #honkai fanart #hsr #aventurine #dr. ratio #topaz

4K notes · View notes

in-kyblogs · 5 months ago

Text

“Rise, let us go! Here comes my betrayer.”

Judas kiss pt.2 // pt.1

579 notes · View notes

icaruspendragon · 9 months ago

Note

hiii, this might be weird, but who is Lazarus? I'm not religious, so I've tried searching for who he is, but I can't seem to get a clear answer and was wondering if you could explain him?

ah yes, lazarus of bethany. a man i consider to be equal parts friend and foe.

lazarus lived in bethany with his two sisters, mary and martha. and when we meet him, he’s sick. so much so that his sisters send for jesus of nazareth saying, “lord, your dear friend is very sick.”

jesus of nazareth was in jerusalem when he received the message. and despite being only a few miles from bethany, and despite jesus loving martha and mary and lazarus, he waited. he didn’t go to them straight away. he waited. he waited until lazarus died and then said, “lazarus’ sickness will not end in death. no, it happened for the glory of god so that the son of god will receive glory from this.”

and when jesus finally made it to bethany he was told lazarus had already died. that he has already been in the grave for four days. and when martha, sister of lazarus got word that jesus was coming, she went to meet him. and mary, sister of lazarus did not. and when martha saw jesus she said to him, “lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

and jesus said to her, “your brother will rise again.”

but then mary arrived and she saw jesus and she fell at his feet and she said, “lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.” and she wept over her brother. because she loved him and he was gone. and jesus should have been there. because if jesus had been there, her brother would not have died.

and jesus saw her weeping. and he saw the other people wailing with her. because lazarus was deeply loved. and now he was gone. and they had sent for jesus. they had prayed for a miracle. and that miracle didn’t come until it was four days too late. and they didn’t know that jesus was going to bring lazarus back. they didn’t know that jesus had waited that long to teach a lesson. to prove a point. they just knew jesus was too late. and now they were forced to grieve.

and then a deep anger welled up in jesus. and he was deeply troubled. and jesus asks, “where have you put him?” and the people say, “lord, come and see.” and he does. and when he sees, jesus weeps. when he sees, we get the shortest verse in the bible. a mere two words to sum up an entire town’s grief. two words to convey the loss of a sibling. two words are offered for the preventable death of a loved man.

jesus is four days too late. and jesus?

jesus wept.

and the people who loved lazarus turned to him and said to jesus, “see how much he loved him!”

jesus loved lazarus. and then he let him die.

and some of the people said about jesus “this man healed a blind man. couldn’t he have kept lazarus from dying?”

and then jesus, who knew all along that he would revive lazarus. jesus, who let all those people mourn. jesus, who let those sisters lose their brother. jesus, who let them weep. jesus, who wept with them. that very same jesus said to those who loved lazarus, who mourned him, jesus of nazareth said to them, “didn’t i tell you that you would see god’s glory if you believe?”

and then the stone of lazarus’ tomb was rolled aside. and then jesus looked up to heaven and said, “father, thank you for hearing me. you always hear me, but i said it out loud for the sake of all these people standing here, so that they will believe you sent me.” and then jesus shouted, “lazarus, come out!” and he did.

lazarus the dead man came out, his hands and feet and face wrapped still in burial cloth. and then jesus of nazareth told them, “unwrap him and let him go!”

and then lazarus of bethany became lazarus of the grave. lazarus of the grave that will never be left behind even though he has risen and relinquished. lazarus of the grave who did not make good his escape unscathed. lazarus of the grave who will now check each darkened doorway as death and his sting is keenly felt.

lazarus was a man. a man whose family loved him. a man whose sisters sent for a miracle. a man whose sisters mourned him in the four days it took for that miracle to show up. a man who was made an example for no reason other than being loved by jesus. a thing that we are all told to be. loved by our savior.

lazarus is a man who makes me wonder three things. firstly, if jesus had been there that my brother may not have died. secondly, if jesus of nazareth too weeps for me. and thirdly, if jesus loves us and we in turn love him too like the scriptures command, why does he use us in the lessons he teaches.

why must we be the men he makes believers of?

so lazarus was just a man whose crime was loving jesus. and martha was just a girl whose crime was loving her brother. and they both suffered a miracle because of it.

#cw religion #yeah it’s always time to religious trauma post on main #lazarus was just a man #lazarus was brother #and my brother was a man #and i am a sister #and i too loved jesus as martha and mary did #so why did he get to come back when my brother did not?#i also tend to think of lazarus as dean winchester before i think of him as lazarus from the bible lmao #hence the title of my book being ‘lazarus rises (amongst other things)’#bc of hit cw show supernatural #and the bible too ig #but mainly supernatural

751 notes · View notes

slutbee · 6 months ago

Text

sam screaming into his pillow for god to make him not want to fuck his brother anymore while dean just doesn’t care and flirts with him incessantly: a concept

alternatively- sam screaming into his pillow for god to make him not want to fuck his brother anymore while actively getting railed into next week by dean. god and dean’s names escaping his mouth interchangeably in desperate sobs: a concept

#….yeah #samdean #wincest #spn #inspo #i am obsessed with them #religious guilt sam/obsessive dean my absolute fucking beloved #supernatural

309 notes · View notes

mearchy · 6 months ago

Text

You think THIS site and THIS generation have no media literacy? Guys I read a twitter conversation yesterday between middle aged men where among other things they said the fascist allegory in the Star Wars prequels is the Jedi. That the Jedi having a strict code makes them “arguably fascist.” My god. Award for the least media comprehension on God’s green earth goes to cishet boomer sci-fi fans.

#they do this every fucking time like with x-men and orwell too.#i am somewhat jedi critical #but for actual reasons that make sense #and that have more to do with legends content than canon material #and also with wider real world discourses about the role of religious institutions in political bodies #which is not unique to the jedi.#anyway i want to feed these people to giant iguanas genuinely #in the same thread someone else was having a debate about the OT being a vietnam war allegory #like “that can’t be true bc it implies the empire is the US”#like yeah. yeah that’s exactly the ENTIRE point. fucking CHRIST #star wars #star wars discourse #jedi order #prequel trilogy #jedi discourse #mine

251 notes · View notes

sbeana · 1 year ago

Text

got bored on the plane and i drew these mock covers for gtn and my dad made me stop drawing because he was like "thats an awful lot of red. thats a lottttt of red"

#tlt #the locked tomb #art #gideon the ninth #tlt art #the locked tomb art #i did this very fast so pardon my uhmmmm yeah #shrek 2 soundtrack came on while i was drawing which was definitely adding something to the atmosphere #also ive come to the terrible realization that space lesbian jesus gideon hasnt been crucified yet. i thought she had been with the fence #but not i think the fence is her getting s #hhmmm wait she did nevremind #i was like oh wow so gideon/kiriona is gonna get crucified in alecto or something #because she only got stabbed with the spearpoint like the fence so far #but jesus got stabbed when he was already on the cross so like #idk. im religious in the sense that i wear a st benedict bracelet cus shits cool not anything else #whatver!!! i am going slowly insane

730 notes · View notes

trickstersaint · 1 month ago

Text

core // september 26 2024

#this poem is awesome cause the unrelenting anxiety i have felt over it the past couple weeks has also felt like my insides rotting away #anyway!!!!!#rot girl fall is upon us. unfortunately #poetry #poem #poems #poets on tumblr #poems and poetry #poetsandwriters #poems about religion #spilled ink #do i have a tag for. poems about guilt. jfhgds #how did i tag that lady macbeth poem...#catholic guilt #<— yeah that tracks. alright #AS ALWAYS. I DO NOT EXPERIENCE RELIGIOUS OR MORAL OCD BUT I AM SHAKING HANDS WITH ALL MY MUTUALS WHO DO

75 notes · View notes

pandoratheprocrasticreator · 2 years ago

Text

hey yall should keep drawing vaguely catholic renaissance style art of luz like yall did with hunter after hollow mind. girl gets belos's drip and all of yall pointed at her and said "religious trauma"

#toh #the owl house #luz noceda #hunter toh #hunter noceda #emperor belos #phillip wittebane #watching and dreaming #hollow mind #for someone whos never mentioned to have any religion luz sure has been depicted in a lot of religious style art in the past few days #hell yeah!#give her more halos!#draw her in that post where shes like slightly looking down on the audience all angellic like with a big cape flowing behind her #go nuts with the shadows!#if you pose luz like a caravaggio painting know that i am kissing you on the lips #shut up pandora

1K notes · View notes

clownprince · 1 year ago

Text

i truly thought it couldn't get more insane than the last snyder interview segment i posted but he's proven me wrong once again. what the actual fuck

(source)

#if he was trying to make it a no homo thing with the whole “people mistake it for literal love” he failed MISERABLY #bc like. “it transcends the kind of definition for love that we have”#“religious and unequaled kind of devotion to someone else where you'll do anything it takes to make them a better version of themselves”#“he loves living in service of batman that way he loves being the thing that he thinks the city has made him into for batman”#yeah it would've been significantly LESS homoerotic to just say “joker wants batman to fuck him raw”#also. “i am the crazy girlfriend you love the most”#SNYDER. YOU CANT JSUT FUCKKIGN #AUAUUUUUUUU #i know this has some problematic implications all of dotf and endgame do lmfao but like. bro #batjokes #snyder you're going to be the fucking death of me #i have. a bunch of interview snippets i'm saving for. a bigger post #but this one and the last one were just. too fucking crazy #couldn't resist

310 notes · View notes

blujayonthewing · 2 years ago

Text

#I've played with irl atheists and catholics and everything in between #but it rarely feels like faith is a real factor for anyone-- DM or player #outside of‚ again‚ divine spellcasters and Big Epic Plot Things #I mean there are a couple of 'RAAAHGH FUCK THE GODS >:C' edgy backstory types but #no one is just Normally Culturally Religious and it's WEIRD #like it's not even a matter of faith in dnd! the gods are LITERALLY OBJECTIVELY PROVABLY REAL #so what does that MEAN for the average person! how does it shape language? business? culture?#where are the people wearing holy symbols like amulets-- or the way modern christians very casually wear crosses?#blessings over meals? prayers before bed? burnt offerings?#and like I enjoy thinking about world and culture building but I know that's A Whole Thing but even just like...#it doesn't feel like anyone believes in gods at all except clerics and paladins #like they DO because they factually exist but in the same way I 'believe in' like. the president of france.#like yeah he exists and is important to some people but has no bearing on my life whatsoever #that's such a fucking weird approach to the DIVINE in a polytheist world where those gods are YOUR CULTURE'S GODS??#I am bad at this myself but I'm not religious so it's harder for me to remember what Being Religious All The Time Casually is like lol #funny enough my character with the most intentionally religious background in this sense #is one of my ones who's ended up wrapped up in Big Plot God Things lmao #'aubree starts the campaign with a holy symbol of yondalla because of course she does why wouldn't she'#'oh okay well she's gonna get deeply and personally entangled with a bunch of death gods immediately' fdkjghkdf oh!! welp #you don't really pray to urogalan unless you're breaking ground for a new building or someone just died so it's STILL weird for her lol #but at least I had the framework there of 'oh yeah the gods exist and matter to me and my everyday life and culture' in general #about me #posts from twitter

763 notes · View notes

apoptoses · 1 year ago

Text

Have you ever been reading Devil’s Minion and thinking to yourself, “damn, I just can’t nail down a face for Daniel”? Have you watched Interview with the Vampire and felt like neither Christian Slater nor River Phoenix hit the mark for you?

Allow me to introduce you to James fucking Spader.

Look at him! Is that not the face of Daniel, completely fed up with Armand feeding his cigarettes down the garbage disposal?

He’s got the naive and beautiful face but ALSO the defiant yet beseeching thing down! Also he was like 22 here, which is right around the age Daniel met Armand so he’s at peak Healthy, Pretty Molloy here. No wonder Louis decided to take him home!!

“Do you know what a zip code is, or a tax bracket? I’m the one who buys all the goddamned airline tickets. Millions. How are we going to get millions! Steal another Maserati and be done with it, for God’s sakes!”

Spader is the original 80′s pretty boy you’d assume starred as the leading man in some schmoopy romances or schlocky teen dramas and he did that for a minute. Like check him out in Pretty in Pink-

Is this not peak Night Island Daniel, in his Miami Vice looking bespoke suit ready to head out with Armand for the night?

Look at him snuggled into his blanket in Tuff Turf, like Daniel hungover and forcibly woken up to honky tonk piano tunes!

But the deliciousness doesn’t end at his looks. Because in true Molloy fashion that man said ‘you know what? I wanna make movies for freaks and weirdos only’

In Sex, Lies and Videotape he plays the sweetest pervert who loves interviewing women about their sex lives, video taping it, and then watching them back naked but not actually getting off! He’s impotent, he’s a gentle and lovely weirdo, there’s vampire!Daniel fodder for days in this one.

Crash is a horny flick that defies all explanation and really you need to go in blind if you’re gonna watch this one, but let me just say this: If Spader and his Wife in this film aren’t the most Daniel and Armand coded couple in cinema history I will eat my shoes. Also there’s tons of beautiful footage of him driving around at night with his blond hair ruffling in the breeze.

Your prefer your Daniel with glasses? Oh, perfect, because in Bad Influence he plays a sweet guy who gets into a fucked up situation with a toxic friend and a sex tape!

In Storyville he lets himself be thrown on the floor and lays there submissively before getting involved in yet another sex tape scandal!

Don’t even get me started on Dream Lover, another smut filled romp (with some filthy deleted scenes if you google the uncut version) which has the most Devil’s Minion promo photos of all time-

Like! Get the fuck out!

I could just go all day about his body of work but some of it you’ve just gotta see for yourself. In pretty much every film you’re guaranteed smut with him being deliciously submissive, extremely gentle with his hands, and down for all kinds of kink. And in most of his movies he gets bloody at least once, like-