#i am not obligated to make this post--
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"Kyaa.... next time, next time."
#gotta get 'em all! ;; goku#sinking down ;; dash comm#blooper reel ;; crack#i am not obligated to make this post--
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Queen of Tears Text posts 1/? (Part 2, 3, 4)
#queen of tears#spoilers#ep 8#text posts#i haven't seen one yet so I am obligated to make one#enjoy!#I hope it's both funny and dark as suits this show#kdramas
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Something I just noticed on my jatp rewatch- Luke does this little "c'mere" motion with his head to get Reggie to come sing with him in "Now or Never"
And then in "The Edge of Great" he tries to do the same thing with Julie but she ignores him and keeps singing (because she's trying to ignore her feelings for him)
I dunno I don't really have anything to add other than that I hadn't noticed this before and I think it's a cute thing that Luke does and that his little upset face when Julie rebuffs him is funny
#pardon the gif quality i am not a gif maker i made these myself in like ten minutes#my post#jatp#luke patterson#julie molina#reggie peters#julie and the phantoms#juke#ruke#i guess#yall those cannot be their fucking ship names#anyway something something reggie obliging luke and calling luke singing at him earlier in the episode hot#something something julie not obliging him with this move and making him wait#i dunno i'm not gonna formulate this thought#shoutout to alex in the background looking cute in his little pink outfits#peterpatter#?
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A Necessary Post - Yang, Taiyang & Seeing Red
I debated this being a message or a note or a reblog, but ultimately this warranted an essay. Because a hatred of nuance is not even remotely the reason why Tai is critiqued as a teacher or father.
With that fact in mind, let's begin:
During RWBY Volume 4, Episode 9: Two Steps Forward, Two Steps Back Taiyang has a great deal of critical feedback for Yang regarding her fighting style, personality & Semblance.
The issue is that Tai's words and advice when compared to what we saw on screen before & afterwards demonstrate he does not understand how it works or how she used it.
So here for your reading pleasure if a more or less line by line breakdown of Tai's advice and why I don't feel it holds up & more to the point, why I don't believe Yang utilized it.
Taiyang: Do you realize that you used your Semblance to win every fight after the qualifiers?
Yang rightfully points out that her using Burn is no different than anyone else using their Semblances. I would add that Yang's Semblance only serves to enhance her already present abilities with damage taken in a fight. So her not using it would be stupidly holding back extra energy for no reason.
Tai's critique also fails to register that when using her Semblance to take out FNKI, Yang specifically disrupted the ground so Neon could not skate effectively & used the boost in power to turn Flynt's own weapon against him.
I will be addressing Mercury further down but she used it effectively and intellectually here and to great effect.
What's more, every other fights fighting style, weapons or both were literally built around their Semblances. Yang's threat level remains fairly consistent without her Semblance, all three of these other characters take a huge dip.
Taiyang: Because not everyone else's is basically a temper tantrum.
Ignoring that calling the manifestation of Yang's soul a temper tantrum is another in a long line if dickish things Tai says to Yang. Her Semblance literally does not work that way.
Her anger has jack and shit to do with it, this has been explained & demonstrated time and time again. Yang only gets a power boost when she's been injured, the fact she tends to be angry when using it is because being hurt sucks and she's usually in an intense fight. When the fight is going well and she still gets to use it she's not angry, as seen with a pleased smirk here:
So as before, Tai's critique is bereft of any merit, Yang's Semblance does not work that way.
Taiyang: I'm serious! Once you take damage, you can dish it back twice as hard, but that doesn't make you invincible!
Cite a time Yang thought she was invincible, cite it provably that Yang thought, said or indicated that she felt she was invincible. You can't because Yang never indicated as such this is something Tai is assuming about her at best.
& no her jumping in the Nevermore's mouth is not an example because she was not using her Semblance, did not take damage, it was a very effective strategy & seemingly either part of the plan, or was so easily understood that it could be safely and reliably worked into the plan. She wasn't using her Semblance here but finding evidence of risky behavior was hard, especially with her Semblance, go figure.
In fact every time Yang used her Semblance she did so only because someone landed a blow, which just happens in fights sometimes.
Taiyang: It's great when you're in a bind, but what happens if you miss? What happens if they're stronger? What then? Now you're just weak and tired!
We know what happens when Yang misses, she can swing again!
After the first blow on the Paladin she missed & needed help to catch it, her missing had zero impact on her Semblances.
As to what happens if they are stronger, um, she loses, that sometimes happens in fights. Its not something Yang can do anything about by holding back on extra strength. Not to quote Qrow but sometimes bad things happen. Other characters losing to stronger opponents don't get given this kind of diatribe's because its pointedly obvious that there was nothing to be done about it.
& on the final piece, she was very pointedly not weak and tired after using it. The only times she has been shown to be is when she was extremely low on Aura regardless in which cases not using her Semblance is a death sentence.
So again, we've established Tai's critique comes from nowhere & his understanding of her Semblance is nonexistent.
Taiyang: But you gotta keep your emotions in check. Keep a level head, and think before you act. Your Semblance is a great fallback, but you can't let yourself rely on it.
This is so painfully unfair it hurts.
No other character gets this kind of shit for expressing emotions in combat. In fact we see characters expressing emotions in battle all the time. Nor has she stopped displaying emotions in combat:
I already outlined how in all two of the Yang fights Tai actually witnessed she used strategy and retained excellent combat form. So again, baseless claims from Tai.
What's more, Yang primarily does use her Semblance as a fallback rather than rely on it in these fights. She only whipped it out against Mercury when he'd unleashed his seeming kill move on her and was confident he'd won.
Not using it here would be dumb and make no sense.
Yang doesn't rely on it to save her, she deploys it when it makes sense to & she has the energy or the need. This is more than we see from many characters.
Taiyang: It won't always save you. Obviously.
So now he is critiquing her for a fight he didn't even witness & knows jack shit about. So let's break this down once again:
Yang has spent the last 24 hours questions her sanity.
Yang's new home (Her words) is burning down.
Yang's sister is missing in all this chaos.
Then Yang's partner gets fucking stabbed, and the guy who did it is standing between them with a sword & gun, with fire all over Grimm all around.
Anything Yang can do he can counter, she tries to go around he only has to pivot. If she tries to fire from long range she might hit Blake. She tries an earth shock wave, she launches Blake into the fire.
She quite literally had no others options & zero time to try anything else because he can just shoot or stab Blake whenever he wants.
Taiyang: You definitely have your mom's stubbornness.
This, this right here is where all this is actually coming from. Tai is once again projecting Raven onto Yang despite them frankly having almost nothing in common.
With most of Yang's visible personality tells being inherited from Summer, such as the mother daughter shoulder check of V9. Thanks to chittychittyyangyang for the GIFs
Or as outlined in some songs with Yang's side of the lyrics explicitly citing how she is trying to fill the Summer shaped void in their lives.
Like the smell of a rose on a summer's day, I will be there to take all your fears away.
Taiyang: Your mother was... a complicated woman. Like everybody, she had her faults, but those faults are what tore our team apart. And, it did a real number on our family.
Tai blames Raven for tearing their team apart. Save that by all accounts, barring her absence things seemed to be going fine. Qrow seemed to be present in their lives, Tai looked happy, the girls were happy & Summer at least seemed happy though we know she was covering up a lot of dread.
Keep in mind Tai is projecting Raven, the woman he blames for destroying the team and damaging the family onto his daughter who literally kept the family together after Summer died. Yang's established this, Ruby has established this, its canon.
Yang: I had to pick up the pieces. I had to keep things together. Alone. (pause) Weiss, if you have something to say, then say it. Ruby: If you thought we wouldn’t come for you, then you must’ve forgotten who raised me.
Tai was not the one holding that home or family together. Unless you think the writers are gonna randomly swerve & say both Yang & Ruby are big whiny liars for some utterly nonsensical reasons. So no, I don't take him seriously as a narrator or critique of Yang, I have no reason to.
But let's push on, because I'm not done.
Taiyang: You both act like the easiest way to tackle an obstacle is through it. (pointing at Zwei) That strength is all that matters in a fight.
Ah yes, Raven, the woman famously known for thinking the easiest way to deal with an obstacles is to tackle it head on. That's why she spent years adorning herself in a Grimm helmet that hid her eyes & raised a False Maiden to serve as her body double.
A woman so inclined to rely on her own raw strength that when she was ambushed by Salem's forces she decided to trick them into an ambush.
Then when fighting Cinder and was at a disadvantage she freezes her in place while making Cinder think she is going on the offensive leaving her to be crushed by Stalactites & also utilized mind games to distract her & deal the finishing blow... Cos she only relies on strength.
As to his final piece of advice I already address it up above, there was no way around Adam, the situation was fucked from the start.
Saying it was Yang's fault she was dismembered is no more than victim blaming, I stood by that in Volume 3 to to this day & beyond.
Taiyang: But if you just take a second look, then maybe you see... (walking toward her, stepping around Zwei) there's a way around as well.
But let's actually look at Seeing Red & if Yang listened to Tai's advice or if she not only ignored it but did the opposite of what he ordered.
Let's see she goes in with open aggression & emotions, and also takes many blows rather than going 'around' them somehow.
Yang, as if she were 'indestructible' outright tanks a massively charged up Aura beam for the purpose of increasing her strength.
Then burns through all of her Aura & Semblance energies delivering one direct blow, relying on it to save her & leaving her weak & tired.
Or in other words, she:
Yang didn't miss, but we know that isn't a real issue anyway.
Yang used her Semblance to 'win' the fight & very much did rely on it to save her.
Yang expressed anger & many other emotions in the battle & still continues to does so.
Yang willingly took huge risks that involved her being able to take tons of damage rather than go "Around" the problem.
Yang knew Adam was likely stronger given it was 2 V1 but relied on her Semblance to get her out of that bind and she was in fact left weak and tired.
This is also the first time she has done several of these things, or otherwise demonstrated these traits, such as being left weak and tired or willingly tanking big attacks rather than just being hit by surprise or due to being overwhelmed.
I don't take Tai's advice seriously because none of it was accurate or aligned with the Semblance we saw in action or had described to us.
I don't trust Tai's opinion on Yang because his take on her is explicitly informed by Raven & not the Yang we spent four & then five more volumes getting to know.
I don't take Tai's words over Yang's, Ruby's or what we see on screen because Tai is at best a secondary or minor character & a recurring theme in RWBY is the failure of older generations.
These failures are not just in the past but how they have been consistently failing the next generation as the story is being told. There is zero reason to think Tai is some magic exception to this narrative trend when much more well explored characters like Maria, Qrow, Ozpin, Ironwood, Raven, and hell, Summer Rose are not.
& that is my stance on that, thanks for tuning in!
#RWBY#Yang Xiao Long#tai yang xiao long#Meta#Text Post#Analysis#character analysis#Venting just alittle#Sorry if this was rude but I get quite heated about this#Especially when being directly or indirectly insulted#& framed as though I am watering down the characters or show or otherwise not meditating on the text#Yang has flaws. But her flaws are not Raven's flaws & I am not obliged to take Tai seriously when nothing he says makes sense#Do not clown on this post#Taiyang Xiao Long#Read the whole damn thing or don't respond#I will block people who isolate three words & throw a random pic at me & claim 'Debunked LOL'#Demonstrate you did your research or don't waste my time.
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Hey when your art friends share their work with you, please take note to not turn that into a vent session about how your own stuff sucks... It's just gonna make your friend feel like their art is hurting you, and they're not gonna share anymore.
#talking about this with someone#and realizing how little i share my work#cause of how often it's immediately met with some insecurities#and then after a conversation of me comforting someone and complimenting them#we get to the other side. and they never even said anything nice about my art#its happened. more often than i feel should be happening#but i know a lot of artists are insecure#and feeling jealous is normal#but like. feelings and actions...#making your friends feel bad cause youre jealous of them is not normal. dont do that#i dont even share all my work on social media lmfao#cause ive posted and then 5 minutes later seen someone post the same insecurities they did in dms#so genuinely i only share when its like. funny?#or if i just. am really proud of something#and just want to hear something nice about it#hurts to be met with silence but it happens#no one is obligated to give me compliments#its my job to create and when i do a good job i will be rewarded for that#but if im not doing a good job then. i wont! and thats on me!#but people ARE obligated to not be treating me as an object of their jealousy#and putting their emotional pain on me just cause i (looks at smudged writing on hand) drew something they liked#whatever#just thinking about it#my thoughts are not complete and i dont want this going around LOL#delete later
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If you call yourself a Krishna Bhakt but at the same time disrespect the Mahishis (Queens) of Dwarka (this includes questioning the authenticity of their love for him and his love for them in return, comparing their love, putting them down, making abhorrent claims about how their love was not completely pure, claiming how they were jealous of each other and the gopis, making passive aggressive comments against them to even liking and sharing content which promote these kinds of beliefs) in the name of glorifying Kanha's leelas in Braj then it's beyond time for you to touch some grass, read actual scriptures and question your entire existence. *GLORIFICATION CAN BE DONE WITHOUT SHOWING DISRESPECT TO EITHER OF THE TWO GROUPS*
#*ignore the grammatical errors I was kinda angry while writing this*🙃#CLAIMING DWARKADISH AND HIS LEELAS IN DWARKA TO BE “INFERIOR” DOES NOT MAKE TO A GREAT DEVOTEE OF VRINDAVAN KRISHNA#*you#where do these people get the audacity from to go about claiming that Krishna married them out of obligation and to form political alliance#The hate for Mata Rukmini on the internet is actually insane after almost every major vishnu centric scripture glorifies her as Parashri#these people reach a new low every single time I come across them and the people who believe random folklores are even worse in my opinion#like before circulating a story or believing them blindly I am begging you guys to always cross check with scriptures#pls do more research and studying apart from that one random quora post you found#lot of the times translations are heavily manipulated made to fit their own biased opinions#when in doubt always refer original Sanskrit verses along with the context in which they are provided. I REPEAT CONTEXT IS VERY IMP#reading and cherry picking random verses without context will lead to nothing but delusion#hinduism#hindublr#krishna#gopiblr#devotion#krishnablr#kanha#desiblr#mahabharata
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Something something perhaps the reason Curly lacks a truly undamaged ID where his face is visible is to represent how much damage Jimmy had already affected on him throughout their relationship and the way Curly obscured part of who he is and what he stood to unintentionally cater to this toxic influence in his life.
#I think there is something to say that most people draw post crash curly and may not have every drawn him pre crash#and I think it says something that we only really look at the characters substantially in relation to Jimmy and not their own merits#unless we are discussing how J I M M Y mischarcterizes them cause in this#since we don’t assign a face and identify to Curly’s actions outside of Jimmy until the end their is the question of how much we are viewing#them as separate entities rather than intertwined actions cause while the flipping#of who we play at shows them and parallels and in separable in terms of the story going down#they couldn’t be drastically more different in thinking and you only really realize that at the birthday scene where Curly felt the need to#take responsibility for something while Jimmy just felt the need to take#this is also more so me thinking about all the reason people think Curly and Jimmy could be friends but they are missing the point of Jimmy#and his dynamic there is nothing severely weird or sinister about Curly or his intentions it’s that he’s well meaning to a fault#he’s an average dude having a mid life crisis and Jimmy is a guy that takes advantage of good intentions like the idea#that curly has to be like Jimmy in some way personality humor morally is the exact sort of projection Jimmy wants#to happen and does like it’s the sad and real case that sometimes people just have friends like Jimmy that they can’t cut off for one reason#or another like it’s not highly philosophical people are friends with objective assholes but it’s less about them#and more about the person feeling some obligation to stay like I feel like crafting him into#being more morally grey is to just make it easier to be angrier or think someone with more of a backbone#could of done something but it’s not even that he was spineless he was just too distracted and sometimes that feel like cowardice like even#Swansea waited it’s just the sad truth of how people avoid people like Jimmy or setting them off#sometimes it just does more harm than good I just am so bored with all the takes#acting like there was a perfect man on that ship and that any one outside of Anya knew the exact type of guy Jimmy#was from the get go like the point is other men wouldn’t in rape culture but women and their victims already know#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#throwing rocks at Jimmy
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like. do you ever think about how weird the mcu was to their actors around infinity war and endgame. like that was weird. what do you mean some of them only got sections of scripts and filmed scenes in parts and didn’t always know what character they were talking to. that’s weird.
#i might be misremembering but i don’t think i am?#and i know tom spoiled some things but like. what was this. they’re all professional adults#how are you supposed to make good acting choices when you don’t know what’s happening?#i assume they stopped doing that because i didn’t hear of it afterward#either that or they made everyone contractually obligated to shut up#but i would hope they realized it was pointless especially bc people stopped caring As Much after endgame#not to say people don’t care but the superhero bubble popped quite a bit TO ME#not pjo#chitter chatter#sorry I just think about this all the time because. it was weird? right???#if im wrong about what happened im sorry it’s like 7 am im just spitting random posts#(disclaimer: dropped mcu officially after no way home and stopped paying attention#for a LONG long time and only hear about it through friends so again: could be wrong)
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You can always put a traditional instrument in your modern music genre. It is always morally correct.
#sfw#personal#ok to reblog#Exceptions may apply in cultural contexts I'm not aware of#I have been thinking about writing this post for weeks but brain keeps going “ok but what if there's an exception”#I have decided this is sufficient acknowledgement of the possibility of an exception#And that I am not in fact obligated to make posts universally applicable in situations I'm not aware of
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kiryuu sibling stasis post-32 is so interesting to me. nanami tries to leave and is (temporarily but also, crucially, violently) prevented from doing so by touga and akio. after this experience she puts distance between herself and them: she leaves touga’s phone in the car, she resigns from the student council (though she dons her old uniform still), she repeatedly dismisses and undermines the authority of the rose code, of end of the world, of akio, of touga. but she’s still in ohtori, isn’t she? uncomfortable with the idea of leaving, uncertain if it’s really possible. she tried before, and it hurt her. deeply. it’s so interesting to me, nanami’s agency and how she limits her exertion of it after 32, when she realises it for what it is. contrast that with touga, who accepts this weird stalemate between them, who is, really, uninterested in having any relationship of any kind with nanami if he can’t gain something from her. he’s very passive with her after 32, compared to the passivity he’d always feigned towards her before in order to stoke reactions from her and then exploit them. i was thinking about how touga has always been able to sever his relationship with nanami, but chosen not to; first out of a sense of obligation (‘we should live to help each other’) then a realisation of how that could be exploited. i was thinking about how nanami has never realised her ability to leave, in part because it is limited by touga and the harm he does her. i was thinking about the desperation and confusion akio calls out to anthy with as she leaves. i was thinking about how different that is to the kiryuus’ strange semi-breakdown; touga doesn’t want or need nanami, and nanami might love her brother but she cannot trust him or feel safe around him, doesn’t want to see him anymore; she’s itching to leave, and just a little scared (you know, because last time she tried that her brother assaulted her), and he’s not doing anything because ignoring her means he doesn’t have to deal with the emotions of her leaving or staying. something something gendered power dynamics something something tragic siblings
#local kiryuu sibling enjoyer has thoughts about them#i wrote this like three days ago but it’s getting posted now i have to speak my truth#touga loves a bit of inaction#nanami doesn’t but what the fuck else is she gonna do?? be brave? she tried that already#and she WILL try it again and i don’t think touga will try particularly hard to stop her#i think he might try a little but in doing so he’ll just become more aware of how much he doesn’t want to do that#and is only doing it bc of a vague sense of obligation to a perspective on life that he’s already questioned a la utena#im just. i have so many feelings about them. i bet none of you were aware of that fact already#i am once again wondering: does touga love nanami? what does that mean for each of them?#and im concluding: i really don’t think he does#i think he’s felt obligation to her and turned bitter towards that emotion and her in turn#i think he has no idea how to feel about her so he ignores the problem and exploits HER feelings as he thinks he understands them#until he realises that he doesn’t and has to deal (a little bit) with the ramifications of that#touga and anthy when nanami makes them self reflect. or swagever. the 32 way. neither of them would ever admit this but it’s true#dais.txt#her tragedy her triumph
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Sorry for sending multiple asks today but I've never been so invested in something before and I am like a rabid dog on my way to devour every scrap of Colorquest content I can, you have such a fun OC universe it's unbelievable [Positive]
Never feel bad for sending me asks. I don't care how many you send, as long as you don't spam the same question over and over :3.
Thank you though, I love my characters so much and I'm really happy other people like them too. I have been struggling recently, even just a couple posts in, with the CQ blog because I've convinced myself people don't like it already x_x. So it is very nice to hear.
#i have the next post scripted out but millions of obligations have prevented me from drawing#but this one shouldn't be too big#and soon.... i can get to the fun plot#i am blaming seasonal depression though for making me doubt myself#because its my story. i shouldn't let imaginary opinions I've never seen said dictate my fun SBDJFBFJDBD
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happy our team makes the kitties react to EA ratings on a yearly basis on this edition on NHL 25
EA Ratings | 10.1.24 (x)
#sam reinhart#aleksander barkov#evan rodrigues#matthew tkachuk#carter verhaeghe#sam bennett#aaron ekblad#anton lundell#niko mikkola#florida panthers#mikksy was included this time I CHEERED#“i havent played video games in a while” yeah we know maffhew#same guy who said he the nhlnow channel every morning akin to morning cartoons#or the time he couldnt guess any toy put in front of him correctly#or how about-#there are many examples#matthew going “ill say like 87” yeah bud? dont make me add this shit to sib maffhew post (that is a threat)#do you know the utter comedy of swaggy seeing 94 on the table and saying ill switch with that one. and then revealing its sashas rating.#sor you already steal enough of his goals on the ice do you need to steal his rating too 😭😭😭#(sasha ofc is only too happy to oblige)#NOOOO MIKKSY SO NERVOUS HE WAS GONNA OPEN UP A BAD RATING I AM IN YOUR WALLS PLEASE REASSURE THIS MAN IS GOOD AT HOCKEY#“trying to get that higher this year” overachiever 🫵#congrats for catmin for sticking a round table in front of them so they have to manspread around them in obscene shorts very nice
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objecting the points because FUCK YOUUUU
#heart art!#adventure forward#af2#i am not tagging them all you cant make me#anyways these are a lil old but i never posted them soooo.#it is a moral obligation to cross the autism wires. this is why they exist. bc funny#they were all made very quickly so thay are not very goodd. but i liek them so blehh
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sergle i thought you didn't like ppl objectifying you :/
god okay this gave me whiplash. make sure you remember how to read before proceeding. sound words out for a friend or family member if you need to. People Being Thirsty in my general direction is different from people like. seeing me only as JO material. I Don't Like people thinking they're smooth as hell trying to dm me what they assume women want to hear. Describing some cringe ass shit. I Do Like a compliment. I even like a compliment that is clearly thirsty. I don't think "I've jacked off to you" is a compliment. not from yall anyway. super controversial, I know. a fat fetish blog following me and reblogging my selfies Is objectification. someone being vaguely horny can be good, or bad, or funny and I show it to ppl on discord and laugh- depends on the specifics. Most of the people following me are too uwu to even get close to the line. they've backed so far away from the line out of fear that they tripped over something while they were backing up and it was embarrassing for them. People trying to push me into sex work specifically while I'm fundraising, because they know I'm more vulnerable at that time and they want to take advantage of me needing money, is definitely sexual harassment, that's definitely me being objectified. the ask I just got, though, was not that. 😭 just telling me that some girls think I'm hot? that is tepid as hell. thinking someone is attractive isn't objectifying them. all attraction is not objectification. please. work with me here
#also I'm just a regular lady and I am more lenient on some days and more annoyed on others#but like the type of thing I was just sent. is nothing. that isn't anything.#that's not on the list of crazy things ppl have said or done#sergle answers#it's so. funny? i guess is a word to use#it's so funny to me the way that- if I'm trying to establish a boundary. I get people who are annoyed.#and if I want to like. god I don't think I've ever posted a thirst trap. but if I post something like that. then people are annoyed.#if I accept a thirsty ask then people are mad on my behalf. if I'm mad at it I get asks about how I should be grateful#like people saying I should take the deals for selling pics/videos or start an OF because#''some girls make a fraction of that amount''#so I should do it what. out of obligation? yeah that's a great reason to get my pussy out#so many conflictions from people. and then there's ppl who don't know what a line is or where it is#so they always think it's crossed at the wrong time. and are unaware when it actually Has been crossed.
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Thank you to everyone who got me to 10000 likes!
I dedicate my 10k likes to my precious bean, who needs all the love in the world!
Look at him on his lil horsie...
#10000 likes#tumblr milestone#thank you#As a Blitz Stan account I am morally obligated to make every post about him in some way shape or form#helluva boss blitz#blitzo#blitzø
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i haven’t been here much recently, and i’m sorry i’ve only been negative on the off chance i’ve been online, but let me just say one last piece before the end of this month, so that maybe the next might be better….
#or maybe my time here ends w this month…i’m not sure i guess it all depends on how i feel but as of right now#everytime i think i'm fine i open tumblr and immediately am sad again the whole app has become my doomscroll at this point#i got a notification on a random talking post from a while ago and it felt like reading the words of a completely different person#lately i find it difficult to find any joy here at all when it always feels so lonely… a type of loneliness i’ve never experienced before#everyone always has ppl interacting w them who are interested in their stuff or are always sent things that are reminiscent of them....#i’m always praised for remembering stuff abt other ppl but i wonder if anyone remembers anything abt me#what is it about me that is so forgettable am i dull am i uninteresting did i not solidify myself enough do you guys just not like me lolz#but i don't want this to come across as guilt tripping or being ungrateful to what i do have because ik comparison is the death of joy but#it's still hard to watch when it's so in your face and it makes me think if ppl only talk to me because they feel obligated to#because anyone can say empty words.... i wish my perception of things didn't turn bitter i wish i hadn't become so jaded but#over and over i've felt irrelevant cast aside overshadowed and i cannot exist in a place where i feel like i'm a ghost in the corner#idk i've never felt like This before and i'm at least glad it's something i can walk away from by just....leaving...#sad that this used to be somewhere i can run away To but now it's become somewhere i want to run away From#i don't know...even if i get over whatever this is...things will never be the same for me... i just don't think i belong here#if only i had never made this blog then i would have saved myself a world of turmoil
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