#i am not making their walls white
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Trying to draw fanart of a ship being domestic but now i have to think of what color would their walls be :/
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I just know Gaz is so fucking good at rock climbing. He's just built perfectly for it, he's got the endurance, the flexibility, the grip, the core strength, the agility, the arm spread, he's not too bulky and heavy like Soap or Ghost, his height gives him quite a lot of advantages (even though sometimes there are trails for us hobbits, but mostly being tall helps). Price could probably give him a run for his money, but since I headcanon that Price has seriously fucked up his spine and joints, especially in his fingers, he might be held back by this. Also I feel like Kyle has the best endurance out of all four of them, so he does extremely well on the long ones. He's also got that magical ability to be able to take a rest at the tiniest little handle, like literally catches himself with two toes and a pinch on a non-existent bump in the rock and relaxes as if he's lounging on a beach, all muscles resting before the upcoming difficult few meters.
Also he's one of those who will climb even in slippers, just because he gotta flex like that.
No I'm not drooling over his fingers wrapped in that tape in places where he ripped calluses off, you are.
Also this was induced by a SoapGaz thought where Gaz runs Soap through some intensive training on the climbing walls and enjoys the view of all that muscle bulk flexing and rippling as Soap struggles to find his balance and makes mistakes in dispersing his weight which limits his reach. He's so tense, he can barely slur his Scottish nonsense out, sweat streaming down the dip of his spine and soaking his tank top through.
When he finally falls of the wall after reaching the top handle, his fingers are shaking and he needs Kyle's help to untie the harness knot. Wipes his forehead, leaving a white streak of magnesia stuck to the wet skin, and huffs and grumbles about how he'll still beat Kyle's PR one day.
Gaz won't let him, of course. But he won't stop Johnny from trying either, because after that he gets to massage all those sore muscles Soap didn't even know existed, and listen to him groan as he shamelessly leaks into his boxers. Because why wouldn't Soap get off the post-gym muscle strain, really. And why wouldn't Gaz enjoy watching him get painfully hard and sensitive from barely sexual touch, exploding into his mouth as soon as Kyle wraps his lips around Soap's tip.
#juju's grumbles#gaz cod#kyle gaz garrick#soap x gaz#gaz x soap#soapgaz#soap cod#john soap mactavish#cod#call of duty#listen i just really wanna go rock climbing again#this shit makes me feel so alive#and i just know gaz would volunteer as a trainer for kids groups in his local rock climbing club#also the one i am going to has this old man who has one arm amputated up to the elbow#BEST FUCKING CLIMBER IN THE CLUB#he's literally a beast i've seen him climb the 15 meters wall in seconds#also tatted up and wears a bandana and has like long white hair#i have such a crush on him#he's a trainer and i want to work with him so bad but also i know i'll embarrass myself#and my level is just really pathetic#so i just drool in my weakling corner as i watch him casually do the shit i can't even dream of with all my limbs intact
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Somewhere in New England, United States. 🌊
#LISTEN#i have never been more proud#I am so in love with it#The outside is really cute too! But the color of the lighting didnt match the interior pictures so it got left out#In real life I love dark woods with lots of white fabrics and here and there some blue accents so that's what I did in this build#I am particularly proud of the gallery wall with the tv#since it's in brindleton bay I wanted it to have a coastal vibe and now I love it so much that I might start a new current household just#because of this house#it also has a small stable for the horses <3333#everytime I build I always finish when I'm about to starve so I'll be going to make lunch now <3 thank you for reading#ts4#ts4 simblr#the sims 4#sims 4#the sims 4 simblr#sims 4 screenshots#pixelglam#ts4 screenshots#ts4 interior#ts4 builds#ts4 build#bay*#my builds
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sam and dean totally have performed the "sisters" dance (wallace and davis version) from white christmas... to the disdain of cas and gabriel. it's a yearly tradition they started as kids when John was on a hunt around the holidays and they got a little too bored.
#this came to me while rewatching white christmas last night#my favorite christmas movie of all time and I am projecting that onto the winchester bros#they even have movie accurate costumes#cas was going through dean's stuff and was confused to find a very large and glittery blue feather fan#dean definitely has a replica of the minstrel number tambourine that he hangs up during the holidays but gabe is disturbed by it#but he let's it stay on the wall because it makes sam and dean happy#I just think it's a neat idea#yall would be in danger if I could draw#maybe I'll write it#supernatural#castiel#castiel novak#dean winchester#destiel#sam winchester#gabriel supernatural#sam and gabriel#white christmas#headcanons#og team free will#sorry jack ilysm but I haven't got to you on my rewatch yet
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I guess I'm gonna get involved with the "Luis Serra is a white man" allegations because absolutely not.
He's from a remote island in Spain, right? An island no one has really heard of before in the Resident Evil universe, right? And if that we're so, that would also mean that there's little to no tourists or people moving there, right? And if all of the people there are natives, how the fuck is Luis white? (With a capital 'hwa')
Make it make sense please for the love of god.
Besides, there are thousands of different cultures just in Spain alone, so there's little doubt in my kind that Luis can't be mixed. He could be Hispanic and African. He could be partially Indigenous partially Hispanic. He could he fully Indigenous for all we know.
So why do you want to make him white so bad? It's so frustrating.
There are barely any true POC main characters in a lot of medias, including Resident Evil, so why can't you just be happy that people are getting representation?
"B-B-BUT1!1!1! SPAIN IS EUROPEAN AND EUROPEAN IS WHITE! 1!1" Erm..! Not all the time, buddy.
There are hundreds of dark skin Europeans, mixed Europeans, and even native people's from all of the different and vast countries in Europe. And guess what? You'd still consider them European.
💥
WOE, A NON WHITE MAN UPON YE!!
#SICK AND TIRED OF THIS DISCOURSE TBH#Luis Serra#HE US NOT A WHITE MAN SHUT THE FUCK UP! 1! 1!#I am inside your walls#:3#Big fucking rant post yikes...!#But this is my side of it cause y'all make no sense lmao
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https://x.com/d3kutism/status/1741579841764475157?s=46
it should be illegal to be this fucking stupid so loudly and confidently omg..
mfs on the internet preach about "media literacy" yet they completely gloss over the fact that the only damn things that kusuo "canonically" is are a tsundere, an unreliable narrator, and a fucking liar LMFAOOO.. babe thats like basic reading comprehension, im sorry..
EDIT: it should go without saying not to send a person hate just because of a silly post like this one(+i dont have any reach anyway so im sure it wouldnt happen, but i wanna say this nonetheless lol) but i would just like to say that i just checked and realized that this person is 15 years old, so like... yeah, too young to be arguing with grown people on the internet. dont take this too serious or send this person hate pls lol..
#nobody who isnt aroace is allowed to tell ME what character has to be aroace#yall forget that we aroaces (+ESPECIALLY autistic aroaces) dont want or need your ugly white knight savior bs#'oh but im aroace n i also think hes aroace🤓' ok?? should i care about your hcs?#have your projection hcs or your regular random hcs- i literalky DONT care#but it becomes an issue when u try so desperately to defend it like this#like babe u sound so dumb☠️#its so confusing to me how u chronically online weirdos insist on making ur hcs canon#i promise u guys ur hcs dont have to be canon for u to enjoy them#its a VERY popular hc too like tf more do u want#im autistic and aroace and i say kusuo is demi and autistic#i am him and he is me so i know factually/j#so still on the aroace spectrum but either way i dont force my hcs on other people like u selfish weirdos do LOL#also this person and the replies being like 'just cuz not all autistic ppl r aroace doesnt mean none can be' YEA OBVIOUSLY?#UR ARGUING WITH THE WALL AND ITS CRAZY CUZ NOBODY EVER SAID THAT#literally not one fucking person said he cant be aroace- just that it isnt canon#do u even fucking hear urselves.. YOURE the ones saying he cant be anything other than aroace.. so YOURE the one doing the forcing..#u guys love pushing ur stereotypes on others and then defending it to high fucking hell#anyway sorry i dont have a public twitter so im saying my piece here#the link looks suspicious as hell twitter pwease give me a better link#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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It's fucking weird how rude people are about immigration sometimes. And I don't just mean bigots being biased and stuff. I mean that, on a REGULAR basis, people ask me if I'm thinking about "going back to the US". And I'm just like... no? What do you mean "back to the US"? I live in Germany. I LIVE IN GERMANY.
I literally fucking started learning German and obsessing on German culture in high school, then I went to college in the US and majored in German Studies, including two study-abroad programs in Germany, then I moved to Germany for grad school and lived there for three years and worked in various German-speaking jobs while studying, then I had to temporarily return to the US but found a German-translation-based job at the US branch of a German company, and made a bunch of German or at least German-speaking friends in my new US city, and then a few years later I was able to move back to Germany, where I got a work visa sponsored by my employer and a full-time salaried job, and after a few more years I acquired my permanent residency, and soon I'll be applying for citizenship.
And people still sometimes ask me whether I'm considering "going back to the US". Like... dude? Would you ask a Mexican living in the US about their plans for "going back to Mexico"? That is rude as fuck.
Immigration is fucking hard. Why on earth would I have gone through all this shit just to throw it up in the air like "Oh well, never mind!"
#i'm sorry but this honestly makes me rage#why do so many people take my commitment to this country and culture so unseriously?#i have learned the language#i have worked here in the same full-time job for six years now#ffs my number-one most played musical artist on last.fm of ALL TIME is a german-language band#(four of my top ten most-played artists are german-language musicians for that matter)#is it because i'm white and upper-middle-class#so i come across as one of those irritating globe-hopping laptop-working culturally oblivious 'expat' types?#I AM NOT A FUCKING EXPAT#I AM AN IMMIGRANT#i have moved to a different country and i am not very financially well off and i am humbly grateful to live here#and i have learned the damn language (yes that's worth repeating) and am not interested in jumping from brazil to thailand to spain to etc.#cosmo gyres#tag rant#grump grump#god this shit drives me up the wall
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Just a question why has whitewashing daisuke become such a common thing why is almost every art of daisuke i see making him whiter than Jimmy
#i will probably delete this later but i am so frustrated jehjesnmsmsgsjdkss#they make him look as white as i am and thats saying something im pale as hell#also infantilizing him too#idm jokes and all that but seeing people seriously infantilize him when discussing him as a character hruhrururuuurueiejnheRRR#banging my head against the wall !!#also when ppl do mention how white he was drawn theres replies like 'can yall stop always mentioning the skin tone??' NO WE CANNOT ?#ok. im chill#rant
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hello people who live in my phone. why did my computer take a dozen screenshots of the Minecraft video settings menu instead of the game while I was walking around taking pictures of the house i built? I'm sad :(
#this is a joke. i dont care to know but i Am sad. i built zephyr and renards house bc i needed to figure out its layout.#i wanted to show people but No my computer thinks the fucking pause menu is more interesting#Like TBF i have modded this bitch. a pretty decent amount. this could very well be my fault#i didn't build an exterior i just did the interior#its the worse looking thing ive ever built#ie an extremely accurate depiction of those white on white on white remodels that have no definition or soul#white carpet white walls white ceiling. grey or tealy blue furniture. You know the vibe#So boring theres nothing to object to when you look at it.#Anyways their house is two stories 3 bedroom 2 bath with a basement sunroom thing a small finished attic.#Lots of places to get separated and hide out from eachother#Open floor plan in the main space though. I didn't make it large enough for the living/dining/and kitchen to be completely separate#still a fucking massive house#for two guys with no family that can vist and no desire to have kids#they dont need that much space
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something that fills me with indescribable rage is minimalism. don’t get me wrong if you want your house to be blank white with a single potted plant then go ahead and decorate it like that. not my business but please. stop painting beautiful vintage victorian houses grey. stop destroying old farmhouses because it doesn’t fit your aesthetic minimalism and farmhouse cannot co-exist. the entire point of farmhouse is that it’s supposed to look lived in. there’s supposed to be trinkets on the walls and all that. please if you want a minimalistic house just GET A HOUSE THAT WILL ACCOMMODATE THAT. STOP RIPPING OUT PIECES OF HISTORY AND PAINTING OVER THE RUSTIC RED WITH “I HAVE NO CREATIVITY” GRAY
#minimalism makes me very angry#there’s this shoe store at the mall that i can’t stand#it’s literally just all blank white walls and painfully bright white LEDs and the shoes are in bags#now to be fair i am biased here#i do not feel comfortable unless i am surrounded by doodads and junk and thingamabobs#rant#rant post#mini rant#not fandom
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the satrinyavas
#my art#digital art#artists on tumblr#fanart#the arcana#the arcana fanart#cat au#THERE i am done with these designs#ik some look ugly but idc its unlikely ill draw these characters again (as cats anyway?)#like i hate nasrin's but ill be dammned if i try to make sense of her hairstyle in my stupid cat style again. who cares#and i hate all of these braids they beat my ass#anywayz#i always had in my head the thought to make nadi's sisters (they're all sisters right i forgor. not that it rlly changes anything BUT)#different tabby patterns so she doesn't look so out of place#so we have classic. mackerel. broken mackerel n spotted + nafizah n nasmira who r solid (tho u could argue mira is like an abby cat)#and nadi is a smoke tabby (pictured in another post)#their dad is a sokoke and i like to think their mom has a secret pattern “underneath” her white to make all of these colors (like a tortie)#do u love my half-walls of text btw. can u imagine how much more i would ramble if there wasnt a char limit in the tags?#i could say all of this shit in the actual desc but whats the fun in that#i wanted 2 apologize 4 not posting in a week but thats content creator brainrot. happy new years anyway
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So so indebted to u for posting those lovely illustrations from Cyrano <333 & even more so for yr tags!! I'm completely in love w yr analysis, please feel free to ramble as long as u wish! Browsing through yr Cyrano de Bergerac tag has given me glimpses of so many adaptations & translations I'd never heard of before! I'll be watching the Solès version next, which I have only discovered today through u ^_^ As for translations, have u read many/all of them? I've only encountered the Renauld & Burgess translations in the wild, & I was curious to hear yr translation thoughts that they might guide my decision on which one I buy first (not necessarily Renauld or Burgess ofc). Have a splendid day & sorry for the likespam! 💙
Sorry for the delay. Don't mind the likespam, I'm glad you enjoyed my tags about Cyrano, and that they could contribute a bit to a further appreciation of the play. I loved it a lot, I got obsessed with it for months. It's always nice to know other people deeply love too that which is loved haha I hope you enjoy the Solès version, it may well be my favourite one!
About translations, I'm touched you're asking me, but I don't really know whether mine is the best opinion to ask. I have read... four or five English translations iirc, the ones I could find online, and I do (and especially did, back when I was reading them) have a lot of opinions about them. However, nor English nor French are my first languages (they are third and fourth respectively, so not even close). I just read and compare translations because that's one of my favourite things to do.
The fact is that no translation is perfect, of course. I barely remember Renauld's, but I think it was quite literal; that's good for understanding the basics of the text, concepts and characters, but form is subject, and there's always something that escapes too literal translations. Thomas and Guillemard's if I recall correctly is similar to Hooker's in cadence. It had some beautiful fragments, some I preferred over Hooker's, but overall I think to recall I liked Hooker's more. If memory serves, Hooker's was the most traditionally poetic and beautiful in my opinion. Burgess' is a whole different thing, with its perks and drawbacks.
Something noticeable in the other translations is that they are too... "epic". They do well the poetic, sorrowful, grief stricken, crushed by regrets aspects of Cyrano and the play in general, but they fall quite short in the funny and even pathetic aspects, and that too is key in Cyrano, both character and play. Given the characteristics of both languages, following the cadence of the French too literally, with those long verses, makes an English version sound far too solemn at times when the French text isn't. Thus Burgess changes the very cadence of the text, adapting it more to the English language. This translation is the one that best sets the different moods in the play, and as I said before form is subject, and that too is key: after all, the poetic aspect of Cyrano is as much true as his angry facet and his goofy one. If Cyrano isn't funny he isn't Cyrano, just as he wouldn't be Cyrano without his devotion to Roxane or his insecurities; Cyrano is who he is precisely because he has all these facets, because one side covers the other, because one trait is born from another, because one facet is used as weapon to protect the others, like a game of mirrors and smoke. We see them at different points through the play, often converging. Burgess' enhances that. He plays with the language itself in form and musicality, with words and absences, with truths masking other truths, with things stated but untold, much like Cyrano does. And the stage directions, poetic and with literary value in their own right in a way that reminded me of Valle Inclán and Oscar Wilde, interact with the text at times in an almost metatextual dimension that enhances that bond Cyrano has with words, giving them a sort of liminal air and strengthening that constant in the play: that words both conceal and unveil Cyrano, that in words he hides and words give him away.
But not all is good, at all. Unlike Hooker, Burgess reads to me as not entirely understanding every facet of the characters, and as if he didn't even like the play all that much, as if he had a bit of a disdainful attitude towards it, and found it too mushy. Which I can understand, but then why do you translate it? In my opinion the Burgess' translation does well bending English to transmit the different moods the French text does, and does pretty well understanding the more solemn, cool, funny, angry, poetic aspects of Cyrano, but less so his devotion, vulnerability, insecurities and his pathetism. It doesn't seem to get Roxane at all, how similar she is to Cyrano, nor why she has so many admirers. It does a very poor job at understanding Christian and his value, and writes him off as stupid imo. While I enjoyed the language aspect of the Burgess translation, I remember being quite angry at certain points reading it because of what it did to the characters and some changes he introduces. I think he did something very questionable with Le Bret and Castel-Jaloux, and I remember being incensed because of Roxane at times (for instance, she doesn't go to Arras in his version, which is a key scene to show just how much fire Roxane has, and that establishes several parallels with Cyrano, in attitude and words, but even in act since she does a bit what Cyrano later does with the nuns in the last act), and being very angry at several choices about Christian too. While not explicitly stated, I think the McAvoy production and the musical both follow this translation, because they too introduce these changes, and they make Christian as a character, and to an extent the entire play, not make sense.
For instance, once such change is that Christian is afraid that Roxane will be cultured (McAvoy's version has that infamous "shit"/"fuck" that I detest), when in the original French it's literally the opposite. He is not afraid she will be cultured, he is afraid she won't, because he does love and appreciate and admires those aspects of her, as he appreciates and admires them in Cyrano. That's key! Just as Cyrano longs to have what Christian has, Christian wants the same! That words escape him doesn't mean he doesn't understand or appreciate them. The dynamics make no sense without this aspect, and Burgess (and the productions that directly or indirectly follow him) constantly erases this core trait of Christian.
Another key moment of Christian Burgess butchers is the scene in Arras in which Christian discovers the truth. Burgess writes their discussion masterfully in form, it's both funny and poignant, but it falls short in concept: when Cyrano tells him the whole discussion about who does Roxane love and what will happen, what they'll do, is academic because they're both going to die, Christian states that dying is his role now. This destroys entirely the thing with Christian wanting Roxane to have the right to know, and the freedom to choose, or to refuse them both. As much as Cyrano proclaims his love for truth and not mincing words even in the face of authority, Cyrano is constantly drunk on lies and mirages, masks and metaphors. It's Christian who wants it all to end, the one who wants real things, the one who wants to risk his own happiness for the chance of his friend's, as well as for the woman he loves to stop living in a lie. That is a very interesting aspect of Christian, and another aspect in which he is written as both paralleling and contrasting Cyrano. It's interesting from a moral perspective and how that works with the characters, but it's also interesting from a conceptual point of view, both in text and metatextually: what they hold most dear, what they most want, what most fulfills them, what they most fear, their different approaches to life, but also metatextually another instance of that tears/blood motif and its ramifications constant through the whole text. Erasing that climatic decision and making him just simply suicidal erases those aspects of Christian and his place in the Christian/Cyrano/Roxane dynamic, all for plain superficial angst, that perhaps hits more in the moment, but holds less meaning.
Being more literal, and more solemn, Hooker's translation (or any of the others, but Hooker's seems to love the characters and understand them) doesn't make these conceptual mistakes. Now, would I not recommend reading Burgess' translation? I can't also say that. I had a lot of fun reading it, despite the occasional anger and indignation haha Would I recommend buying it? I recommend you give an eye to it first, if you're tempted and can initially only buy one.
You can read Burgess' translation entirely in archive.com. You can also find online the complete translations of Renauld, Hooker and Thomas and Guillemard. I also found a fifth one, iirc, but I can't recall it right now (I could give a look). You could read them before choosing, or read your favourite scenes and fragments in the different translations, and choose the one in which you like them better. That's often what I do.
Edit: I've checked to make sure and Roxane does appear in Arras in the translation. It's in the introduction in which it is stated that she doesn't appear in the production for which the translation was made. The conceptualisation of Roxane I criticise and that in my opinion is constant through the text does stay, though.
#I have a lot of opinions about translations in general tbh but this is not a semi clear case like in Crime and Punishment#in which there's one detail that a translation must do for me to recommend it (it used to be the one but now in English several do it)#I wouldn't recommend Burgess as a first approach to the play‚ but having already read the play and knowing the text and characters#and how Burgess may modify it‚ then I wouldn't not recommend it because it is the best in form in many aspects#And while he fails in direct concept‚so to speak‚ form is particularly important in this play and in conveying concept and characterisatio#So idk personal taste is it I guess? Again I am not an English or French native#I vehemently recommend reading the play in French if you can and haven't done so already#Even best if you want a translation to read the translation alongside the French text#to see how the translation bends the play in form and subject#Anyway... Sorry for the long delay and the too long reply. I always end up talking too much#Oh by the way I think I saw you talk about the blood/tears motif in the act IV in some tags? It's not just act IV#The tears/soul motif is repeated through the entire text linked to Cyrano and is opposed to the body of Christian#That's why the culmination in the last act and the tears in the fourth hit so much#Like the constant of Cyrano being linked to the moon and the darkness while Roxane is the sun and the light#And also I would argue the 'pearled perfection of her smile' is not an unidentifiable trait or intangible#It's poetic and metaphoric but it's a description of her teeth. Small‚ straight‚ white. Perfect teeth. That wasn't so common back then#It's quite common in classic literature to find poetic references of good teeth spoken of in these terms#Anyway...#I hope you'll find some use in this that would make the insufferable wall of text worth some of the time at least#After all time spent is a little death. I would have hated to kill a fragment of you for nothing haha#Cyrano de Bergerac#Did I tag asks? I usually delete them after a while so I think I didn't? I never recall#I talk too much#That will suffice#Hmmm it's useless in any case. I think I've talked for over twenty tags before tagging that#A wall of text and somehow I ramble in the tags nonetheless ugh#I will reread this in a bit to see if it's coherent enough. The little screen of the phone always makes me lose track of things when I writ
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fuck it, coyote time
#he's still in the early stages as you can see but ours wasn't super detailed so actually a very suitable style for ts4 polycount#I'm gonna make some other weird random items I have seen in houses#once I was with my parents visiting their friends' house#and in the entryway there was just a taxidermy deer head in one of those big white buckets#because they'd never gotten around to putting it on the wall#I'm not even sure why they had it it was not their style at all#but nonetheless they had a taxidermy deer head in a bucket#I've been wanting to make some mounted animal heads for my skyrim dude to put in his house anyway so like#might as well#I am going to make every house so un-instagrammable
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Hey I think everyone should draw their faves fat. Or at least draw a fat person once in their life bc variety is lovely to see but also do you know how fun it is. Do you have any idea. With enough practice it will be like second nature it will be fun. I do not care how much sense it makes btw :)
#Part of the reason I draw Hatty so fat is bc it’s fun. And also it’s my headcanon…#It’s not bc he’s soft either he can be a mean bitch if it comes down to it.#make mean and bitter and vile people fat. Not just the soft fluffy ones BECAUSE I SAID SO…#nobody actually has to do this. Nobody is obligated to. That is not what I mean here by no means at I forcing you but#I am SO SICK of traditional skinny villains and sexymen. Stop. Stop that put the stick down.#Practice drawing fat people. Trust me it will do wonders it will be fun. Look at references too don’t just slap a big gut on that bitch.#thanks for coming to my ted talk#white talks to the wall#white mutters via tags
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Swifties prove everyday that they’re the dumbest people on the internet and that’s really saying something cuz I’ve dealt directly with blarkes
#1) swifites always being racist toward Beyoncé#2) swifities doxxing a Palestinian girl and sending her info to the IDF cuz she said that there were better options for Time’s PotY#3) swifites beefing with North West – a literal child – cuz they thot she “shaded” Taylor#4) swifites commenting snake emojis on Kim K’s insta posts thinking they’re doing something other than driving up her engagement and lining#her pockets#t swift#also these are all just annoying things I’ve seen happen TODAY#I cannot wait until we are released from whatever govt psyop we’ve been under for the past few years cuz I’m over this endless string of#swift propaganda 🔫🔫🔫 it’s literally insane and no matter how many times I block people or hit not interested in posts I am still forced to#see shit about her like it is never ending and it’s so fucking exhausting like the way white women in particular make being a swifite their#whole personality is so embarrassing!!! THIS EOMAN CANNOT SING YALL!! AND IM TIRED OF BEING NICE AND SAYING SHE HAS DEVENT SONG WRITING#SKILLS CUZ SHE DOESNT!! EVERYTHING ABOUT HER IS MEDIOCRE AT BEST!!! SHE CANNOY SING AND HER LYRICS ARE THE MUSICAL EQUIVALENT OF WATTPAD FF!#I am so tired of this bullshit and I used to be able to find reprieve in football but no more!! cuz her and her annoying cult have#infiltrated that too like this shit is annoying and I feel like I’m going crazy cuz she’s everywhere and not in an organic way. In a very#strategic marketing capitalistic way and I love The Wilds but I hate how the fandom has like woven TS into everything there too like#I think I’m gonna commit a crime. I think imma toss someone through a brick wall cuz I’m losing it
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so tired of being a shitty bandaid for my parents' loneliness. like have u ever considered you passed your curse to me and some days i feel so lonely it's like i can't breathe around the emptiness in my chest????
#my dad is like#you can't just be in your room all the time then what's the point of you living here if ill be sitting here all alone then#and im like bhai what#mom also says this to me she always wanted to sit and rant and she used to say you never talk to me#both of these people don't even fucking get it that they're not even interested in me listening to me#mom just wants a sounding board for her venting and dad just wants someone to pretend everything is okay and happy all the time and#the only important things in life is the immediate present and food and making money and stuff#i swear this is why i feel so ????? about myself my identity like no i can't describe myself#because there is no myself there is just a white sheet of paper where people can write whatever they want#im so tired man#why can't they just go and live with each other and leave us kids out of it 😭🙏#like i genuinely am getting teary eyed about such a small thing but god. i want to have my own life so bad. im sick of feeling all these#complicated emotions guilt and anger and pity and obligation and duty like just god pls fuck off#people my age are so fucking mature and put together than me so confident so clear about their path#have friends partners breakups parties just so many new memories#and im just stuck.#and im fine with it now because i get it studying is really important and this is quite basic requirement to be perfect at#atleast my syllabus to survive in this industry#but then. let me do that only. please don't make me pretend to like you like spending time with you and everything#ive hated you for like. idk 14 whole years. since the first time you hit mom in front of me#i remember it so well like my childhood broke that day you slammed her into a wall for some stupid fight and her hair was all messy and#untied and you shouted so loud i thought surely everyone can hear. and then you left to roam around the city at night with your friends#i remember this because my mom and my sister sent me to check up on you with the excuse of a painting of a parrot that i had made#i didn't understand anything back then#but yeah fuck you fuck you fuck you for being so fucking delusional thinking i love you or something#ive prayed to god that you die and i still do#it would directly mean 4 people being happy#anyway#dni#this was meant to be fun and short lol fuck
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