#i am not hating on anyone or their opinions whatsoever i’m just expressing mine

[slendershift]

hate people bashing on the term minishifting so much sometimes omg. i FULLY and COMPLETELY understand the sentiment of it and how it usually is used to downplay people and their shifting successes, but idk i like the term. especially cuz im a permashifter. like if i shift for an hour or something before coming back that’s still a minishift to me because a full shift would be a lifetime. idk i hope i don’t sound too evil for this

[asachuu]

My absurdly long take on Rimlaine that is years overdue (1/10)

A few forewords to begin with:

So…who would have guessed such a niche ship as BSD Rimlaine would have prompted me to write an entire essay speaking about it and everything surrounding it? To an extent, not even myself, but upon dwelling in this fandom for long enough and trying my hand at explaining my personal thoughts on it here and there, I seemed to have realized very shortly that none of this would manage to fit into one single textpost I could write and publish the very same day, and thus we are here now. I’m hoping I managed to cover everything from top to bottom, given context for those in the BSD fandom who may not be too familiar with the ship itself and given my own perspective about this pairing, but before I start, I naturally have to give out a few disclaimers.

Firstly, this has, by no means, been written to tell anyone or even dictate what to think of this pairing, I would like for this to be established very clearly. I am not claiming all of this as the absolute, indisputable truth, as at the end of the day, a fair amount of it is nothing but my own opinion and nearly every single topic in this world has a lot of nuance to it, that of course including this one, where I will most likely not manage to cover every single existing point out there even if I try. However, certain other parts of this essay were indeed written with the intention of bringing some things to light, even if your own thoughts are ultimately up to you to decide, and this doesn’t mean I don’t believe in my own view nor do I have any reason to change it.

Continuing on from that, it is only right of me to give out a fair warning. If you hadn’t known me prior or it wasn’t immediately apparent from the nature of this work, I will not be taking kindly to the ship at hand whatsoever, nor will I express any support for it. Aside from me having my own criticisms surrounding it, it is also somewhat of my personal discomfort, and while I have chosen the route of attempting to take the least forceful path I could find with my wording to not turn this into a mindless or overly serious hate rant without proper context, this does not mean I will be giving it any credit or appreciation. If this is something that you do not wish to read for any reason you may have, I advise you to stop right here, and I thank you for your presence nonetheless.

Furthermore, I also wish to clarify that I absolutely did not write this with the intention to call Rimlaine shippers harmful, “toxic” or anything of this kind. None of this is targeted at any individual whatsoever, it is only my own point of view as from what I have seen, many things surrounding this pairing are not quite brought up enough, if at all, even though they should be. Whilst I will certainly call the ship itself unhealthy at least a few times, it is not meant to attack anyone who finds enjoyment in it. There could be a myriad of reasons for that, some of which I will go into further down the line, and I do not believe anyone, or at least the vast majority of people, mean any harm engaging in it. My sole intention is to perhaps bring a little more awareness to some issues I do not see mentioned practically anywhere, not to ruin people’s enjoyment of fictional media just for the sake of it.

Lastly, some people might fully disagree with this notion, but I don’t believe I have much right to explicitly label this ship itself as “toxic”, and thus I will not be doing so anywhere in this minor dissection of mine. It is not only because that word has been misused and joked about so much in the past to the point it began sounding ironic or like a complete exaggeration, but also because of my personal reservations on this note. Regardless of whether I think of this ship as such or not, as someone who has seen several people label entirely harmless pairings, characters or content with that word instead of elaborating on what they find unsettling or wrong about the given media and subsequently not being taken seriously for it, I would not like to accidentally mislead someone into thinking I will only be throwing around heavy baseless accusations without reason. Even so, if you choose to read any further and come out of this finding it to be exactly that, I will absolutely not be trying to convince you otherwise, as with full disclosure, I do believe it to be so, which also serves as my final warning to folks who may still be here purely to upset themselves.

Now, with all that said, the links to all parts are below.

GENERAL CONTENT WARNING: Aside from Fifteen/Stormbringer spoilers, there will be some discussions of topics such as abuse, suicide and BSD-typical descriptions of violence. I will do my best to specify these in their respective sections, but please be warned before going into this as I could miss some.

Links:

[Part 1] — Is there a “perfect” ship?

[Part 2] — What exactly is Rimlaine?

[Part 3, 3.1, 3.2] — Fifteen, The fight and Chuuya’s memories, Paul’s appearance

[Part 3.3] — Fifteen’s response

[Part 4] — The real-world relationship

[Part 5] — Stormbringer

[Part 5.1, 5.2, 5.3] — Arthur’s memoir, Chuuya’s flashback, the epilogue

[Part 5.4] — Stormbringer’s aftermath

[Afterword]

[minisoysquares]

As fun as the events and ideas you posted about 19days would be, wouldn’t it also just bring in more negative stuff - like fandom in general has become a field of land mines and I fear that something that’s supposed to fun will turn into some sort of battle. Like how some people get extremely heated over any other ships outside of their fave ship and they cannot possibly have other ships except theirs, etc. The last thing anyone wants is for content creators to be targeted simply for making something they thought would be fun

(This ask and answer is about this post.)

First of all thank you so much for addressing such a big and valid concern. I agree that that has indeed happened in certain fandoms - I can say I've been in the thick of it and witnessed quite the warfare - but in others it has also brought fans and readers and content creators together even closer and tighter in a wonderful thriving community.

I have the feeling this'll get quite long so please proceed under the cut with that in mind.

I believe all things are potential harbingers of both discord and harmony. There will always be people who feel entitled and who want - even demand! the audacity! - authors and artists to create for their ships and their ships alone. And there will also always be people who can appreciate the writing and the art without judgemental treatment regarding the pairings/characters depicted, no matter their preferences.

All of that happens and will continue to happen, whether we go forward with these events or not. And yet authors will still write what they want to write, artists will still draw what they want to draw, graphic designers will still make the edits they want to make as well. What we could do, in this small and close knit fandom, is take in our hands this powerful rich opportunity and try our best to make a model of positivity out of it.

In these events, there would be no bashing or shaming allowed. The content created would be to be enjoyed by those who are attracted to it, and those who do not have a taste for that fanwork in particular would be asked to remain respectful. (As it should always be.) There would be no ship wars in these spaces. Discourse, hate-speech or anti-behaviour would not be tolerated by the moderators of the event.

Creators who indulged in it would be immediately disqualified. Any unnecessary commentary or complaints from the audience would be deleted and reported as spam. Anyone instigating conflict would be only painting a target on their back, really. Because most of us - I dare say - are only here to appreciate the brilliant artwork and fanfiction woven and crafted by the talented people who share it with us.

If it came to it and it escalated, this hellsite has several tools that can be put to use to that regard. Accounts could be blocked and/or even reported. They wouldn't be able to interact with the blogs created to run these events from then on. We would be able to create a black list and post it publicly so everyone else who wished to could simply block those unruly pesky accounts and remain at peace and free to enjoy themselves to their utmost.

Let us not forget that this is all fiction and it's all for fun. Everyone's allowed to have their own opinion, likes and dislikes. There simply is no need to step on anyone else and their interests to elevate them.

Let's exemplify, for the sake of clarity:

Do I personally ship A with B? Imagine I do not. I do not search for it. If I come across it? I scroll past it. Once or twice, I may even like - and even reblog - if it happens to catch my attention and it's well written/drawn! (I have tags along the lines of 'I don't ship it but' and 'look at this beautiful art' or 'drown in the power of these words.')

It's so easy to interact amongst ourselves without coming with pitchforks at one another. Know what actually needs effort? Being a meanie and a party popper! Who in their right mind wastes their time on things they don't care for? Dum dums, that's who! Of course, we're all dummies at times... and that's okay! Let's just not harass people or crash their fun while we're at it!

If nothing else: you wouldn't like if others did this or that to you, therefore don't do it to others. It's a simple concept to grasp.

Very important: in these events, every single piece would be explicitly and properly tagged and warned for right at the very top of each post, so there would be absolutely no excuses for anyone being nasty.

We would just have to be open to the experience. Enjoy our ships and let other enjoy theirs. We do not have to all like the same thing. That would be just boring. But we can cohabitate devoid of trouble in fandom. Each one of us just has to be respectful. No need to even be nice. No one has to compliment something they don't like. They also don't have to step on what others do.

Don't like a ship/character/theme? Don't read stories focused on it. Don't put down authors who write it or readers who enjoy it. Same for art. No need to shout about how awful it is just for the simple reason that it does not fit into your personal shipping preferences. It can still be still be a tasty and wonderfully baked cake, it's just that you're not fond of vanilla or strawberries. It's okay. There are all kinds of cake for everyone's tastes!

Further examples: If a ship happens to be a NOTP for me or I don't care for the character(s)? I filter the tags. All of them. Any and every tag I can think of. It's very easy to protect ourselves on Tumblr from content we do not wish to see. (My own list is huge and just as effective.) Filtering is incredibly important.

So go ahead and filter out the ships you can do without! Filter out porte-manteaux like Tianshan, Zhanyi, Qiucheng, Tianxi, Tianyi, Lishan, Litian, Liyi, Shantou, Polydays, (...) Filter out any ship tag that doesn't strike your fancy like Q x MGS, HC x JY's mom, (...) Filter out characters that aren't your cuppa tea like HT, HT's dad, SL, JY's mom, XH, (...)

Make it safe for yourself and for others. That way you won't rage at the sight of your NOTP, won't feel the compulsive need to trash the people who ship it, no one is hurt and everyone is happy!

There are many steps we could follow to prevent rotten eggs in our coop. And many more actions we could take to throw them out if need be. I firmly believe, however, that if we're all of the same mind everything would go well and with very few bumps along the way.

If we only ever feared the possible negative consequences of our actions, never taking the risk for the possible positive ones, we'd never get anything done. I say let's not let our beloved fandom stagnate or dry out. Let's incentivate and motivate and inspire! Let's share! Let's have fun!

Think of it in these terms: it wouldn't be a competition at all but rather a charity event. Performers and spectators coming together for a common good, raising content and spreading joy! There would be no winners or losers or prizes. What would matter would be good old-fashioned participation, both by providing content and/or consuming it.

It could also a good way to get people to express themselves more. Many content consumers tend to lurk or keep to themselves even if they like the content posts. (I used to be one myself and only a couple months ago started to come out of my shell.) I myself advocate for reblogging instead of liking - if you have to choose one or the other, I mean, why not do both? - and leaving a word on every single post I like and/or reblog. Sometimes I go nuts commenting, sometimes I leave a small note in the tags.

It doesn't matter how. Even if you're shy or introverted (*raises hand*) or don't know what to say I guarantee a single emoticon or a string of disordered letters symbolising incoherence will make the creator's day all the same. Getting feedback is so important and motivational for creators and also a great way for fandom members to keep in touch and support each other.

Additionally, if a person would like more of a certain type of content here are some healthy actions they could take: a) commission a creator and pay for it if they can; b) politely make a suggestion to a creator with an open ask box; c) post a prompt publicly for possible interested creators to use; d) do it yourself and share it with others!

This turned out into more of a "behavioural guidelines" thing than I'd have liked. I am not in any way whatsoever telling anyone what to do. This is what I do, and it works wonders for me. I stay completely out of toxic arguments and in on all the goodies. I'm able to fully enjoy my fandoms. And isn't that what we all want?

Thank you again for sharing your thoughts with me. And I apologise for the long rant!

Of course, this is only my personal stance on the issue. I did go for a survey first exactly for this end, to get their opinions on the subject and see if it would be worth a shot. I shall hope many other people will think as I do, but I will wholly respect those who don't.

[veliseraptor]

For the character meme, how about....Xue Yang XD

well since you asked.

How I feel about this character: I’m love him. He’s terrible. And also mine now, I’ve adopted him. I mean, I adopted him within about two seconds. It was the smirk. And the ‘death before boredom’ line. You can’t change my mind. 

Actually, though, I feel like it’s very me and it’s also very ridiculous but god!!! I mean, I will look at a feral villain with zero morals whatsoever who is just having a grand time with mass murder and go “yes, that one, I want that one.” And I have done that.

And I’m not even going to give you that bullshit about ‘oh I like watching him as a villain because it’s fun to hate him for the horrible stuff he’s doing’ because it’s not true, I’m legitimately watching him horribly murder people and going “yeah! you go! live your murder truth, baby!”

I do not feel bad.

Also in terms of the Yi City arc, the “consequences? for my actions?? that I don’t like???” gives me a lot of feelings and is a trope that I really enjoy.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Yes I am a Xue Yang/Xiao Xingchen monster, is anyone surprised? But even more Xue Yang/Xiao Xingchen/Song Lan monster, that’s even better/worse. 

Also would be into Xue Yang/Wei Wuxian as like. Horrible one night stand. Would read it, would like it. 

Also weirdly into the idea of solipsistic Xue Yang/Jin Guangyao because murder besties could have fun together in more ways than just murder.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Also Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao for the worst/best murder friends with inevitable backstabbing. It was fun while it lasted, though! and I feel like the backstabbing was not a surprise at all. 

You know, it happens. What’s a little betrayal between murder friends.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don’t...I feel like probably the shameless love is less than popular opinion. Generally it is, in this sort of thing. Most people tend to disapprove of the degree to which I just go ‘this murder baby is my murder baby.’ But that’s how things go.

Also I don’t know if it’s unpopular opinion or what but I do think Xue Yang did genuinely like/care about Xiao Xingchen, in his weird and kind of horrible way. That was real. 

Fucked up, but I don’t think Xue Yang really knows any way of expressing affection that isn’t.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. I don’t actually know! In some ways just based on who Xue Yang is his character arc was inevitable. He was never going anywhere but down in flames, and that’s...I’m okay with it, in this case. It’s what he would have wanted. 

There’s like. A stupid part of me that wants some kind of fucked up dysfunctional but not entirely miserable ending for him, which I guess is what the terrible threesome fic is. Sort of. 

The premise of that is essentially “worst found family ever” and I’m really psyched about it.

[badbookreviewclub]

Empress Theresa, Chapter 1

(This is a direct transcription of my tweets, so I apologize if it gets choppy at times) DISCLAIMER: Please read the preface before you continue on!  PAGE 1   This is a terrible start to the book. There's nothing here to gain the interest of the reader nor is there anything that could potentially give you a clue to who Theresa is. You get who her parents are, but nothing about her parents (e.g. If they're important people) "I was the Princess in the Sullivan clan of Framingham, Massachusetts because besides being cute I was a whiz in school and had a good disposition." This sentence makes me die inside every time I re-read it. What does it even mean to have a 'good disposition'? This is the first time I've ever read someone describing themselves as having a 'good disposition'. "All the relatives expected great things from me." And then not even a paragraph later it says; "Nobody could have dreamed of what I would do a few years later, and nobody would have believed it if they'd been told." This is a conflicting message here, Theresa. Did they expect great things from you or did nobody expect you to do anything big? "Prime Minister Blair said I'd still be remembered in a million years." Okay, so we know that you're doing something big now, but you just introduced a character who we don't know. At all. What's the context behind all of this? What kind of person is Prime Minister Blair? "Did you catch that?" Yes, I fucking caught that. You literally just said it. "Churchill, Hitler, and Lincoln..." I don't like the way that these are ordered. It's alphabetical, but going in historical context would sound nicer in my opinion. "Lincoln, Hitler, Churchill..." That's not even counting that she just compared herself to being greater than Hitler. There are so many other people who are better that could have been brought up here and not someone who committed mass genocide and traumatized humanity. Directly after that, Charles Martel is brought up in a long paragraph that sounds like someone who just watched a documentary and is eager to share everything they just learned with their friends who could not give less of a shit. It's pointless to have it there and adds nothing. "...but Prime Minister Blair said I'd be remembered for a million years." You said that not even a paragraph ago. I didn't forget, I promise. I may have the attention span of a peanut, but my short-term memory isn't completely dead. Though my last few brain cells may be dead after I finish all 465 pages of this monster. "I was the last person you'd expect to earn this accolade." Contradicting to what you said earlier of all your relatives expecting big things of you. Not to mention, I don't know who you or anyone else is yet Theresa. I can't fucking say if you would be the last person expected "When this story began I was a little girl who didn't have much of a clue about anything." Why not start the story here? It's far better than that big ramble you just had. This is far more interesting than "I'm Theresa, the younger daughter of blah blah blah." "My job as a kid was to figure out what the heck was going on and what to do about it. It's not easy when you're young and everything is brand new." No shit honey. Except the thing is, life is so much easier when you're younger. you don't have to worry about taxes. Or your employer forgetting to mail you your W-2. Or if your employer does mail you your W-2 but your mail-lady delivers it to the wrong house so some random person has your W-2 and social security number now. You don't have to worry about that as a kid. Life as a kid is easy. ide note: The text in this book is fucking huge. Like it was written so children could easily read it. PAGE 2 The way the first paragraph on this page starts out is jarring and throws the reader out of any flow that may have been there before (There wasn't one there before, but I digress). It then is quickly followed by her father making a comment to her about being the captain of her ship, without actually being a quote from him. It would have been more interesting if it was a direct quote from her father rather than just a passive memory with how she phrases it. What is says is, "He said I had to be the captain of my ship, but sometimes the seas would be rough." Which is poor phrasing in my opinion. There are far better ways to phrase this that give some more character and depth to the relationship between Theresa and her father. A better way to phrase it would be; "He said 'You have to be the captain of your own ship. Sometimes the seas will be rough, but you need to keep pushing through it until you find smooth seas again.'" However, it's not phrased like this or anything remotely close to this. It's then followed very quickly by saying "I had to learn all I could about the world." How does this relate to what your father told you in any way shape or form? I am so confused and feel like what your father told you was completely disregarded or misinterpreted. "I wondered why should I be worrying about it in the fourth grade? I'd soon find out." My Grammarly is kicking in and telling me that 'worrying' is used wrong here. This is a direct quote from the book, and I have to agree. Once again, this relates nothing to what was just said. I want to scratch this entire page out so far, but I've refrained from doing so. Then we come to the first paragraph I have completely scribbled out. I hate it so much. It is a shit paragraph in every way humanly possible. It relates nothing to the first sentence and could completely be ignored and taken out of the book without changing anything. “Everybody has pressures. There are two kinds. One is threats to your life and health. I had more than my share of that with a thousand assassins wanting to get me. The other kind is bearing responsibility for other people's lives and welfare. That's really tough if you care...  ...about them. I set new world records in that department. People were sure I'd crack under the pressure, but I didn't. It will take smarter heads than mine to figure out why not." There is so much I want to say about this paragraph that I can't express in words, just guttural, angry screams. I scribbled it out for a reason and that reason still stands true. It is complete and utter shit. Side note: "It will take smarter heads than mine to figure out why not." Thank you for the reassurance that you're a dumb shit, Theresa. I needed it. "I'll be telling my own story which is a good thing because nobody knows it as well as me." We are already all well aware this is an 'autobiography' at this point, Theresa. There's no need for you to tell us that. The fucking point of an autobiography is to tell your own story. More scribbled out sentences about her saying that there's stuff she can't know because she wasn't there. Then she comments on a conversation between Prime Minister Blair (who we still know nothing about) and President Stinson (a new character who we also know nothing about) and how they were talking to each other on the phone. Theresa then assumes that P.M. Blair and President Stinson were talking about how they would stop her if she got out of control. How pig-headed can she get? Not everything is about you. The entire world doesn't revolve around you, bitch. Except, oh wait, in this book, it does! Another scribbled out section I scribbled out so horribly I can barely read it. I will do my best to write it down here so you can suffer with me. "But remember you'll learn things in the same sequence I did. Somebody else telling my story could only say what I did... ... in the world. They couldn't get in my head like you will. You'll see what a horrible, worldwide mess I had to deal with." Ah. I remember why I scribbled it out so badly now. Because it's garbage. Even more so than the first paragraph that I tried to destroy. She's just repeating the fact that this is a fucking autobiography. I've read good autobiographies, where you actually get into the author's mind. So far, this shit isn't it. "My story began quietly with no hint of what was coming." All of that before was pointless. And I will tell you now, most of the details that come after are pointless. This book refuses to be clear and concise, which is a good thing a good majority of the time. The book started terribly and wrote the whole tone for the first few pages, and so far, I'm more upset than when I started. Sidenote #2: After this I'll try to do Chapters in these tweet chains, mentioning (for the most part) the stuff that stands out the most to me. Unless I run into a page that is truly the worst thing ever. The Rest of Chapter 1  Starting on page 3 Starting off strong, I scribbled out the entire first paragraph because it's all terrible. It's Theresa describing her older sister who has absolutely no importance to the story whatsoever and then stroking her own ego by boasting about how... ...she's a whiz in school and her sister isn't. "She's thinking of going to one of the many trade schools in Boston after high school Mom and Dad said I should go to college." These two really don't share any correlation to each other besides being education after highschool. Not to mention, I think Norman, the author, is strongly trying to suggest that trade school isn't nearly as good as university or college when that couldn't be less true. Trade school is just as valid as a university or a college. You gain new skills and can enter a career far... ...quicker than you could at a 4-year university and then some if you're going for a Masters or P.H.d. in your chosen field. Also, I really hate Twitter's character limit. It's fucking stupid and makes these reviews hard as hell to write out. Theresa drags things out more, shares a story that seems currently irrelevant about her mother seeing a fox that came and sat in front of her six months before she was born. (Keep this in mind. Six months before Theresa was born). Theresa even says that this strange... ...event seemed unimportant and that her parents forgot about it for 18 years. Fuck, if something like that happened to me, I'd forget about it too. I certainly wouldn't remember it 18 years later. I can barely remember what I had for breakfast last week. And then more than halfway down the page, Norman finally starts the fucking story. Theresa's doing some summer reading for school when she sees a fox walking along the edge of the woods. The fox ducks into the woods before walking back out, which is completely... ... irrelevant and yet for some reason, Norman felt it was important to include despite the fact it adds nothing and just feels like lazy writing and editing. Speaking of editing, I am dead convinced that Norman didn't have an editor for this book or even look over a chapter... ...after he wrote it. "In an instant, faster than you could blink an eye, a softball sized white light emerged from the fox and went straight into my stomach." Besides being poorly written, keep in mind the fact that she just said it was in the blink of an eye. Theresa goes inside and has a pointless as fuck conversation with her older sister about seeing the fox. Rather than like any rational person who might glance outside to look because apparently seeing "Foxes in the daylight never happens" as Norman puts it, she just says that... ... the fox won't hurt her before going back to the living room never to be mentioned again for another 12 pages or so. Theresa assumes that because she hasn't eaten yet she's hallucinating or having a vivid daydream, so she goes to eat and we get an unnecessary description of... ..what she makes. We also get this gem of a line; "At age ten I was already conscious of my weight and tried to stay skinny." There is so much wrong with this that I can't even put it into words. So. So. So much. Specifically the 'at age ten' part too. More weird phrasing and poor writing later and Theresa determines that yes, it must have been that she hadn't eaten anything because after eating she feels less worried about it. Then there's a HUGE fucking heat spike according to Norman. Enough so that the firemen have to get involved to see what the fuck is up. Theresa somehow has this meta-knowledge that this has to do with the white light that jumped into her stomach. Long story short, someone called the firemen because the heat spiked up so massively and they thought it might be a fire without going outside or looking around to see if it actually was a fire. We get an absurdly long and very dull section about how the firemen started poking around trying to figure out if it was underground or not, which is completely unnecessary and adds nothing to the story in my opinion. I have scribbled it all out because it's all shit. Then we get another fucking gem that Norman uses a total of one time and never brings up ever again. It gave me an idea that would have made this book far more interesting than it ended up being, but it's never mentioned again. Its sole purpose for existing was to give Norman... ... an excuse as to why Theresa didn't talk to anyone. "My Cousin Mary was diagnosed a schizophrenic and the whole Sullivan clan was biting their nails waiting for the gene to show up in some other family member. It wasn't going to be me! I resolved to never tell anybody... ... Not even my parents would know. They'd think I was ill like Cousin Mary. I didn't need it." This alone caused me so much anger I put down the book and didn't pick it up again for a good couple of hours. I honestly don't feel like I need to explain why this is so terrible. But as for the idea it gave me, the book could be far better if it turned out that Theresa was schizophrenic. That this was all a hallucination. It would explain a lot of her actions later on in the book, especially when she experiences extreme paranoia. Well, Norman doesn't call it paranoia. It's just Theresa being 'super smart and know just what's up'. We learn shortly after that there are government officials who turned up to watch 'someone' (spoilers: It's Theresa). Somehow everyone knows they're officials despite... ... never approaching them and instead trusting the word of a neighbor who said the police approached them, were shown badges by these officials, and then the police left them alone afterward. Theresa somehow knows that these people are here to watch her and for some reason... ... she calls the operator to see if they're spying on her or have her phones tapped. I guess this is just supposed to be common knowledge that if you call the operator and ask them for a number and if there's a delay they then you're being spied on? After all, it's not like the operator is human and they take time to look up numbers and whatnot. But this time around there's not a delay so Theresa concludes that they aren't listening to her. Not sure how this makes sense, but okay. Theresa and her mom decide to go shopping and Theresa spends the entire time thinking that men are following her everywhere. Despite the fact that it's a public space and they're different men. The first instance is at the parking garage, where someone parked close to them... ... and then followed them to the surface. Then they go to a very popular and big brand book store, Barnes and Noble, and Theresa sees a different man who she thinks is watching her as well. She goes to the second floor by herself because I guess her mom is okay with that. When I was ten, my mom wouldn't let me wander over to the next aisle to look at stuff no matter how much I insisted. So you know, not judging her mother's parenting skills, but I'm lowkey judging her mother's parenting skills. After that they go to McDonalds and another man gets in line behind them and leaves around the same time they do. Theresa thinks that this man is also following her. And then, a man who was on the corner started walking in their direction. For some reason, Theresa thinks all... ... these people are spying on her. Which is total bullshit in all honesty and is incredibly paranoid behavior. However, Norman doesn't write it that way and instead writes it as Theresa just knowing what the fuck is up. When she gets home, Theresa calls the operator again and this time, instead of taking half a minute to get the number, the operator takes a minute. Please tell me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty certain that doesn't mean that someone has tapped your phone. Aside from that, I've also started to realize just how much Norman really likes to be as precise as he can be with his numbers and it's super fucking annoying to read and I wish that I didn't have to read it. But I am. Blah, Blah, Blah, more boring stuff and then Theresa goes to a movie story with her mom. She gets 2001: A Space Odyssey and apparently that's super, super fucking important because that's how the officials know that Theresa has an alien inside of her. I don't see the... ... correlation but you know what, maybe it's just me who's a dumb shit and Norman was right all along. Besides that, the movie is also super important because Theresa names that white ball of light that flew into her that she dismissed because she thought she was hungry. However, that's just something Norman seems to have conveniently forgotten right now and Theresa has just accepted the fact that it really did happen. "Mom did most of the grocery shopping on Saturday and I usually went with her because Catherine wandered off with her friends." Someone, please tell me how the first part really relates to the second part because I can't make sense of how your sister not going... ... to hang out with her friends would keep you from going with your mom to go grocery shopping. Especially when there's a seven-year difference between you two. One of the gov't officials approaches Theresa when she's alone in the cereal aisle (once again, judging her mother's skills as a parent), and tells her to call her when she's alone. That seems vaguely pedophilic to me, but that might just be me. Either way, Theresa somehow knows that this woman is working for the officials who are watching her. We get another paragraph of a line; "The woman knew that I knew about my watchers. I had often stared at them. So this woman also knew I had to think she was one of them and I... ... had to be curious enough to talk to her." This is so convoluted and overthought. I hate it in every way shape and form. It's so damn repetitive and gets repeated several times throughout the next few paragraphs. But I digress. Theresa goes home and goes to her room and pulls out her cellphone and calls the woman. We found out her name is Jan and we get the most boring conversation in the history of conversations. Yet for some reason, Norman has the audacity to say that... ... it is the most important interview since Moses came down from the mountains. I don't read the Bible, but as far as I'm aware, Moses was never interviewed after he came down with the 10 commandments. Correct me if I'm wrong. Theresa describes the white ball of light in so much detail that you realize, there's no fucking way she could have been able to see all of it if it was "faster the blink of an eye." So I guess Norman conveniently overlooked that part.1 Theresa says she named the white ball of light HAL from the movie. I don't see why, but she did. More boring as fuck conversation giving us the information we already know. We know that the woman's name is Jan now. Jan tells Theresa that they're always watching and listening... ... to her. After reading this I am under the belief that Jan should never ever be allowed to handle any cases dealing with children ever again because she uses so many fear tactics that would absolutely terrify a child. Jan also tells Theresa that she can't talk to anybody or tell anyone about HAL. I don't know about you all, but when I was younger, and someone told me not to tell anybody about something that involved me, I really wanted to tell someone about that thing. More boring as shit exposition that's poorly written and then we jump forward a few days. This is where my suspicions about Norman loving being super precise with numbers were confirmed. He also goes into way too much detail about gardening and weed pulling. Anyways, this is where we learn that Theresa has an aimbot basically. She woke up with a small orange dot in the center of her vision and automatically assumed it had something to with HAL. But she learns it's an aimbot because she can throw rocks and hit a watering can no... ...matter how far away she is from it. She then says it has no use, but I think Norman means that it has no practical use. It has plenty of uses, just not many can be applied to everyday life. Pretty quickly after Theresa finds out she has an aimbot she wants to play baseball with a neighbor boy so she goes to his house and talks to his mom asking to play with him. Except Norman doesn't write 'his mom', no, Norman writes 'The mother.' The Mother. The one true mother of all mothers. The queen of mothers. The mother that all mothers descended from. She is THE Mother. Aside from calling her 'The Mother' over and over again, Theresa tosses the baseball back and forth and doesn't miss no matter what. She comments constantly on how bad Tommy (the neighbor kid) is at this. Eventually Tommy's dad (referred to as 'The dad')... The Dad. The one true dad. The one Dad to rule them all. The Dad that all Dad's descend from. He is the ultimate Dad. He is THE Dad. ... comes out and takes over for Tommy, playing baseball with Theresa. I don't know why, but this came off the wrong way when I was reading it and just didn't seem right. Norman becomes even more repetitive in his writing, "This was August and it was very hot. "Let's call it quits, Theresa" the father said. "It's getting hot."" More shit I scribbled out because it's fucking horrible. Basically so you don't have to live through the same hell I did, I'll summarize even more. Theresa gets super strength because of HAL. She knows this because she broke a steak sauce bottle white trying to open it... ... because she was eating a steak for lunch. Because ten-year-olds can cook steaks for lunch. When I was ten I could barely fucking cook macaroni and cheese for myself. This is all boring as shit but the super-strength makes Theresa want to go and talk to her priest. Father Richard, who is also referred to as Father Donoughty later on (which make me think of the name Father Dick Doughnut ngl). Anyways, Theresa doesn't think her mother could just ask Father Richard about what she didn't want to talk to her about, thinking that priests... ... are bound to secrecy. I don't think they are but I'm not religious so how the fuck would I know. Anyways, Theresa shows she has super strength and blatantly states that the priest probably thought she was possessed by a demon but after going out to talk to Jan he believes... ... otherwise. And with that conversation between Father Dick Doughnut, we get the worst dialogue of all time. So you can suffer with me this time, I'm typing it all out. "These men don't know everything. Only I do. What did Theresa say?" (Jan) "I'm not at liberty to say." (Father Dick) "It's not the usual stuff?" "It isn't." "It's critical you can tell no one. Theresa will be the first to suffer. People will come after her. They'll kidnap her, kill her, or worse." "Who are you?" "I work for the American government" "How many of you are there?" "Hundreds" "That's a lot of people." "Do you understand how important this is?" “I'm beginning to." First of all, boring as fuck. Second, what is worse than being killed? You're fucking dead. I don't think much can actually top that. Third, I don't know if he's asking how many are watching Theresa or how many are working for the gov't. Either way, stupid question. After that absolutely immersive conversation, Father Dick Doughnut says he needs to call the cardinal to have them come watch Theresa. This seems really extreme in my opinion. As far as I was aware, a cardinal has far more to take care of than one little girl... ...at one church in a town that I don't think is that big. Even a bishop probably wouldn't spend their time focusing on that and they're two steps down from a cardinal. But no, Theresa is just too fucking important. Why not just have the Pope get involved now? Or is that... ...too much for you to handle Norman? Ugh. This entire chapter just fucking sucks and it's only the first chapter. Blah, Blah, Blah, Theresa's story about an alien being inside of her is confirmed because Jan said so and she works for the 'government'. Then we get a huge fucking jump over her fifth-grade year where Theresa gets to jump from fifth grade to seventh grade because her hair started to grow in thick thanks to HAL. Apparently, this is a sign of her 'emotional maturity'. I don't see the correlation. At all. At the very end of the chapter Theresa makes the claim that there are "four hundred" people watching her and that's how many people it takes to watch someone 24/7 without being caught. That seems like bullshit to me. In fact, that seems like the fastest way to get caught. It takes maybe 4 to 8 people at most in my opinion to watch someone day and night. But no. Theresa is just too fucking important for only 4-8 people. She needs 400. I forgot to mention earlier, but only the high ranking officials know about why Theresa is being watched. As far as I'm aware, there are only about 20 high ranking officials who know why Theresa is being watched. That leaves 380 people who have no fucking clue just what the hell is going on or why they're watching an 11-year-old girl. That's absolutely absurd. Something I forgot to mention earlier is that Jan claims something came from space 7 years ago and they lost track of it. She assumes that thing is HAL. Keep that in mind 7 years ago. But the fox that Theresa's mother saw was almost 11 years ago. And the fox is what gave... ... Theresa that ball of light. Norman loves to be precise with numbers, but he can't even keep his own fucking storyline straight. This book is hell. But I will keep reading because I apparently love to torture myself.

[advluv4life]

If it was not clear, people don't get to ignore me and then make demands out of me.

I don't care if my anger and my method of expressing it upsets you. I don't care what people say about me. I don't care if you hate that I've chosen to talk to people who have shown that they are willing to listen and give me their own thoughts and advice. I don't care if you dislike the way I'm coming to terms with you all and all your two-faced lies and bullshit. I don't care about your threats and intimidation techniques. Shut your capslock off and grow the fuck up. You made your choices. You did it. I tried to be mature, I tried to talk, I wanted to have an adult conversation, but after a month of trying I am done. The only children here are you and everyone who stands by and refuses to call you out on your shit.

I don't care that you guys are together. I don't care that you guys are happy. I certainly don't give two shits when it comes to what other people think about your relationship. I'm not mad about your fucking relationship. I'm mad that you guys lied to me, that you snuck behind my back, that you used me, that you tricked me, that you betrayed me, that you stabbed me in the back- that's why I'm mad at you. I'm mad that you convinced everybody else to do the same thing too.

I didn't expect anybody to want to put up with me, I gave everybody an out. I gave everybody the option of walking away from me multiple times and each time they said 'No, you're our friend, we wouldn't do that to you', and then they did it anyway. I gave you all so many opportunities to talk to me, to tell me the truth, to be honest, that was all I asked. I went to you all for help, to help me understand what happened and what went wrong, but everybody just said they 'didn't know'. Everybody chose to lie to me and ignore me. You think I care what any of you think of me? I don't. All I care about is myself and making sure I get better after all this shit you guys dragged me through in the past month. You guys do not matter to me anymore, my posts have nothing to do with pissing you off or making people think less of you. My posts are to help me understand that you're both shitty people and every single time I feel sad I'm only hurting myself 'cause none of you give a damn about me and I will be damned if I let you guys control me any longer. I will be damned if you guys make me feel ashamed of myself for my emotions.

You want him so bad? You can have him, you can have him and every fucking disease he ever wants to spread again, but you will stay away from me. If he wants you so bad he can have you and every fucking disease you want to spread, I don't fucking care. You can brag about your brand new relationship being so happy, I don't care. I know you had your eyes on him, for probably the whole duration of our relationship. You have him now, but you will not touch me. I do not give one damn about what you say or think about me. You guys are the lowest form of humans I have ever met in my life. Seeing how you both have treated me? You deserve each other. Neither one of you have anything to be proud of, if it makes you happy to break people's hearts and kill their spirits and then turn around and blame them you both obviously have severe insecurity issues that you need to work on before you grow into the kind of people anyone should look up to.

And, you know what? You can tell me as many times as you like about how happy you guys are, but all it does is make me laugh. The first week when I was suspicious of you both the thought hurt a lot. When I found out you were together it hurt, but not as much. And now every single time that you tell me you guys are so happy together and he's 'happier with you than he was with me', I laugh.

Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think you're special? Do you think you're the only girl that he's greeted with a hug and a kiss, who he won't let you go anywhere before he gives you a kiss goodbye, and he's made cheesy comments toward? Do you think you're the only girl he's done that with? The only one that he's tagged in posts on Facebook that makes you feel like you're the most important person he's ever spent time with? The only one he's stayed up late messaging or watching movies with? You think you're the only girl he's given gifts to? Do you think you're the only one who has done a mundane task with him that he would say 'as long as you're there he would be happy'? You guys are what, maybe two weeks into a relationship? Him and I were happy once too, that might surprise you but we were, and he did all that shit with me too. A difference between you and I, is that he gropes you way more than he did me, but I was a respectable young lady whereas you do not have that reputation. You can like it, you can enjoy your relationship, you can live it up, but don't act like you can brag to me. I already experienced all of that. And if you want a future with him you can have it, because if I knew that he could treat a woman the way he's treated me I wouldn't want to risk anything with him. Just like if I was a man and I witnessed the way you treated your ex, I wouldn't want anything to do with you either.

You say he's always cared about you even before I was in the picture, then why the fuck did he choose me? Because a relationship with me would be easier? Or because you had a boyfriend? Which obviously the boyfriend didn't really matter seeing how it's turned out, so again, if he had the opportunity to be with you then why didn't he take it? Oh, because he didn't want you. You weren't the one he talked to everybody about to see if he should take a chance on. You weren't the one that he thought he would ruin by getting close to you. You weren't the one who was making him the happiest then, were you? Wanna' know why? Because you are like every single one of his past exes all wrapped up into one big combo and apparently he was not ready for something better than them, like me. You are his comfort zone and if his comfort zone is what he wants it's what he'll have. If you think that your relationship is going to be built on good communication and loyalty after the shitshow of last year? You're wrong. If you think that you can compare your week-long relationship to our 10+ month long relationship and say that you guys are happier, you're wrong and very ignorant.

He claims I got mad about everything all the time? That's a load of bullshit. I got mad when he flirted with you and I got mad because I wanted to spend quality time with him, while he wanted to spend every night at his friends' house. And, I'm sorry, but if he can't handle being loyal and he can't handle somebody wanting to spend time with him, that's his problem not mine. He might not have told you, but I gave him so many opportunities to break up with me. I asked him if he was tired of me and he always said 'no'. And if he wanted me to change in any way he should have told me. It's not fair for him to tell you where I went wrong and then give you the chance to do everything right while he leaves me in the dark. He never gave me the chance to change because he never told me I had to.

So, you can say whatever the fuck you want, but Levi is a grown fucking man (I think) he can speak up for himself. If there was a problem with me and our relationship he should have told me, he should not have lied to me, and he should not have ignored me. If he thought there was any chance of us being friends he should not have started flirting with you the next day and he should not have treated me like shit for weeks. If he broke up with me and intended to get into a relationship with you he should not have even thought we could be friends. He should have been honest that I was not what he was looking for or communicated earlier that he needed something different from me, that way I could try my best to be that for him. He should never have expected our relationship to just be easygoing. Relationships take actual work and if he's not willing to put in the effort no relationship is going to last. He can't just sit by and let things that upset him go on and on and expect it to change when he doesn't want to speak up about it. I would have gladly put in the effort to get a future with him before all this shit went down, but if he wasn't willing to try something new and actually put in mutual effort to maintain our relationship he cannot blame me. When I sat down to talk to him that night I wanted to actually talk, but instead of him talking he just gave a blunt statement, he made the decision without me. There were no chances of compromise there was no allowance of discussion and if there is no discussion or compromise there is no relationship. And every time I approached him to talk I wanted to actually talk, but all he gave me was defensive statements, he shot down everything I said without a second thought. That's on him. I tried to communicate like an adult, I tried to speak up, I tried so hard to show him that I wanted to be whatever he needed to get through whatever fear he had of the future, but he shot me down every time. He pushed me away, he is the reason why our relationship failed, not me.

Stop trying to intimidate me and threaten me with your stupid 'I'll be the biggest bitch you ever know so don't fuck with me', message or your 'you don't wanna' fuck with me', message. I can post whatever I want on my Facebook account and you cannot stop me, my posts are my opinions and my feelings on the subject, your opinion and feelings do not matter on my page, if people want to read it they will and if you don't care what they think then it shouldn't bother you whatsoever.

Finally, if you don't care what I say or think then why the fuck are you stalking my Facebook account? If you weren't aware, you are blocked which means you're working really hard to get into my business, so leave me the fuck alone. If you guys didn't want things to be like this then you should have thought about that before you lied, snuck around, and ignored me. I gave you guys every option and opportunity to talk to me and be honest and you chose not to. Now I don't give a fuck what you say to or think about me because you have lost all my respect.

Delete my number out of your phone and don't fucking talk to me.

[purplesurveys]

1445

Do you ever judge people based on if they believe in God or not? Not really, in the sense that I grew up in a predominantly Catholic country so people being Catholics/Christians pretty much feels like second nature to me. My judgment comes in with respect to the extent of their obsession/hypocrisy with the religion, i.e. if they go to church weekly but still vote for thieves to go into public office, or are generally awful people in real life.

Do you ever brush your teeth in the shower? I may have done it once or twice when I’d be running late for something, but it’s not a practice of mine.

Has your printer ever stopped working at the last minute and you had a paper due the next day? What did you do? Yeah, so many times lol. I just e-mailed it to myself/saved it to a USB and printed it at school. < We didn’t have a printer at home for most of my school years so I typically just did this. I had a USB early on, but after losing 3894798 USBs I eventually resorted to just sending the paper to myself through Messenger, and then logging onto Facebook through the school computers to retrieve it and have it printed.

Are you sometimes scared to express your opinions in fear of what others might think? No I’m pretty opinionated. I was worse at it as a teenager when I used to be super blunt and had no sense of a filter whatsoever; these days I still don’t hesitate to express myself, but I’m just a whole lot better at handling my words and how I deliver my thoughts now.

Do you have a girl that is strictly a friend that isn’t related to you that you can go to? Angela.

Have you ever painted your nails on only one hand, forgetting about the other one or getting side-tracked? Nah, I rarely paint my nails myself as it is.

Have you ever tried sucrets? I’ve never heard of that. Is it related to sugar by any means? Hahaha.

Would you date someone that smokes? I did before. I minded it in our earlier years but that was when I used to be a more conservative, goody-two-shoes high schooler. By the time we entered college and I got exposed to more things, that’s when I started to feel looser about the idea of smoking.

What about drinks? As long as they didn’t have a serious drinking issue, yes.

Have you ever gone to one of those parties where everyone is falling around drunk everywhere? Yep, mostly in college. I never wanted to turn out like one of those kids who ultimately got taken out via wheelchair and fortunately I never did, lol.

Are you “the good guy”, or “the bad guy”, or somewhere in between? Idk what this means - does this refer to being a bad influence around your friends and whatnot? If so, I think I’m more of a good guy; I definitely don’t endorse vices or breaking the rules around people, and I’m usually the first one to call out my friends when I notice them starting to getting naughty lol.

Do you ever erase the numbers off of surveys just because they annoy you? No. But I’ll sometimes wipe out questions I find too annoying or childish.

Person you like shows up at your house: you… Will feel very confused because I’m not interested in anybody.

Last person you talked on the phone with? A delivery dude who was having a slight hiccup with my order.

Do you think you will have the same best friend a year from now? Yes, and for many years to come.

Do you have siblings over the age of twenty-one? My sister is turning 22 this year, but not til September. Will tomorrow be better than today? I doubt it; it’ll be Sunday and that day always sends me into waves of anxiety.

What do you hear right now? I can hear PSY singing into my ear alongside Yoongi’s newest masterpiece, and the faint hum from my electric fan.

What was the last thing to go into your mouth? My vape pen.

Do you usually tell people when you’re mad at them? No, I just show it usually.

Honestly, how is your heart lately? Content.

Do you miss anyone? Not really, I’m good for now.

Are you waiting for a phone call? I am not.

If an ex said they hated you, what would you say? Like if it was done through message? I’d leave it on read partly so I can continue living in peace and partly to provoke them.

What would you do if you found out your most recent ex was in a relationship? I’d shrug and go back to whatever it is I was doing. What she does in her life really doesn’t concern me anymore and it hasn’t for a while.

What do you think when someone kisses you on your forehead? It’s cute, I like the gesture.

What do you usually do right when you wake up? Check the time; and depending on how groggy I feel, I’d either turn my phone back off and get some more sleep or proceed to check my social media.

Are you looking forward to anything? The rest of this weekend.

How late did you stay up last night? Around 2 AM.

Do you truly hate anyone? No.

Would you ever get a tattoo? I’m still on the fence on this one. I definitely think less impulsively now compared to when I was a teen so I'm better at handling my want for a tattoo; but I’m also deathly afraid of needles, so...I still have no idea whether I’ll ever be pushing to get one or not.

In the past forty-eight hours, have you hung out with a girl? I mean kind of? I’ve hung out with my co-workers virtually but I haven’t been outside with anyone since Sunday.

Were you happy when you woke up today? YES, because it’s Saturday morning yaaaaay.

If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you? Sure.

Would you rather go back a week or go forward? Forward.

Would you ever smile at a stranger? If they smiled at me first and it didn’t give off creep vibes then yeah.

Who was the last person to text you? A local influencer’s handler.

What are you doing today? I wanna take all the surveys today; let’s hope I actually accomplish that, haha.

Truthfully, is there someone you used to date that you miss? No.

Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette? Nopes, that sounds really painful.

Have you ever been so bored that you started drooling on yourself? Wow haha what? No, this hasn’t happened before.

Do you brush your teeth right away when you wake up? No not really, I usually turn on the water heater first for my morning coffee and then brush my teeth while waiting.

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? I wouldn’t say so, no. Hans is a close guy friend but I’ve never confided in him.

Want to get smashed tonight? Nah thanks I already did that last week and don’t want another sip of alcohol for like another two weeks ha.

What time are you getting up tomorrow? Whatever time I want; it’ll still be the weekend and I don’t have anything super urgent that I’d have to wake up early for.

Are you happy with the choices you’ve made? I might not be happy with each individual choice, but I’m happy with here I am in life now, so I wouldn’t change anything. < This is good.

Think back to last June; were you single? Yes.

How did you feel when you woke up today? Hot :( I hate summer. But I also felt content and well-rested, albeit already slightly sweting lol.

Have you ever made someone laugh when they were crying? I’ve probably done that in the past, yes.

Describe how you feel right now. Hungry, hot, a little restless since idk what to do for today. I wanna go to a cafe and kill a few hours there but my ankle is not yet 100% recovered, so idk.

Would you date someone three years older than you? Idk I might, but I’ve also never been faced with such a prospect.

Do you prefer to shower at night or in the morning? I usually shower at night but now that it’s summer, I tend to do it in the morning so that I can feel refreshed and like not sweaty and sticky and gross when I start work.

Do you think more about the past, present, or future? Present and future. I’m not a big dweller of the past anymore.

Are you okay with the life you live? Sure, I’m pretty content.

Could you handle living with the last person you texted? I barely know him and I’m pretty sure he’s quite older than me so probably not.

Was the last book you read for fun, or was it for some type of assignment? Fun.

Have you accomplished any goals you set for yourself this year so far? Yeah, my promotion. I’m glad it happened; I just wish it didn’t pan out the way it did.

If you could go forward in time and see your life 5 years from now, what would you hope to see? In a different job, more traveled, having my own place.

Are there still movie rental stores where you live or have they all gone out of business? They were never commonplace here and if they were at some point then it must have been in the 90s, when I wasn’t even alive for the most part.

What was the last thing to annoy you or make you upset? The heat which is annoying me right now.

Have you ever been ditched by someone only to find them out and about with someone else? It might’ve happened once or twice but those memories are all blocked from my head now. I don’t like keeping thoughts like those around.

How old were you when you had your wisdom teeth removed? I’ve never had them removed. I’m not sure I even have wisdom teeth at all.

What is the last song you sang out loud? That That by PSY and Yoongi, hahaha. It’s really good and I never thought I’d find myself enjoying a PSY song but here I am.

Where was the last job application you filled out sent to? I don’t even remember. Job-hunting as a fresh grad dealing with a pandemic and a breakup was an awful awful experience and I have close to no memories from that time. September to November 2020 is just this huge gray blur in my head now.

Have you ever been fired from a job? Nopes.

What do people tell you your voice sounds like? That it’s low.

What financial class are you? My family is in the middle.

What poster is hanging closest to you? The BTS poster that came with my Butter CDs.

What time did you go to bed last night? I believe this was already asked earlier but I passed out at like 2 AM.

Do you watch any reality shows? I’ll only watch snippets of many different reality shows but I’ve never followed any of them obsessively, like episode-by-episode levels.

Are you more comfortable with men or women? Girls.

Do you think you’re fat? Nope.

Have you ever borrowed money from someone and never repaid them? No.

Do you have a pet cat? Nope.

What is worse: physical or emotional pain? It depends on the type of pain. < I feel like I’ve answered ths before, but yeah I agree with this. It’s not fair to compare two completely different kinds of pain.

How is your hair? It’s fine, it’s just up in a messy bun. < Hey, same again! I’ll probably give it a wash sometime today though, the weather is fucking killing me.

How long does it take you to fall asleep at night? Just a few minutes; I don’t struggle with sleep these days.

How many people have you had strong feelings for in the year of 2012? Nobody.

What are you doing for your next birthday? That’s not happening again for the next 350+ days, but for my birthday last week I took my family out to a ramen dinner then that weekend I brought my friends to Zambales for a quick getaway to the beach.

Would you go on a date with someone right now if they asked? Nah, I’m too contentedly single at the moment to consider a date with anyone and just bum them out in the end lol.

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough, you’ll get it? Well sure, but I also know I have to put a lot of work into it as well.

Last movie you watched? Turning Red.

Who were you with? It was with my sister.

Who came over last? My mom’s best friend from college, who came with a pleasant surprise! She came over with this huge tarp for Leni Robredo that we can hang up in front of our house, and I was really excited because I’ve always wanted one but just never had the time to pick one up at her campaign team’s headquarters. I was so happy my mom and sister already had it up by the end of the day.

Have you ever wanted to be a ballet dancer? No, my mom wanted it for me haha nothing can get any more Asian that that.

Does your family keep tons of leftovers in the fridge? Our fridge can definitely pile up with leftovers but not always. When it gets too much my mom will usually have a wipeout spree where we’ll have leftovers for dinner for a few conseutive days, hahaha.

Favourite FRIENDS character? That is, if you like it. Chandler for the boys, Monica for the girls.

Skullcandy headphones, yay or nay? I’m whatever about them; I’ve never had a pair of those.

Are you thinking of getting another piercing? Where? Not really anymore. I was never too big on piercings anyway.

Do you love when people remember little things about you? Sure. Sometimes I’ll feel a hint of self-loathing that I can’t explain?? like “Why would you remember that about me? I’m a really unsignificant human being” idk if I’m making sense. But I appreciate it nonetheless, of course.

Do you ‘bless’ strangers when they sneeze? No.

How many phones have you gone through? Around 7. I’m on my 8th.

Have you always lived in the house you currently reside in? No, we moved here in 2008. Before then I lived at my mom’s side’s duplex, with extended family.

Do you think your future will be a good one? I’m hopeful.

[lalka-laski]

HEALTH

How is your health? It's stable. It could be better with a few adjustments but I don't have any major, catastrophe ailments... that I know of...

Do you know anyone who has beaten cancer? Not to sound like a hypersensitive little flower but I hate that phrasing. Anyway, I know plenty of people who've survived- and died from- cancer.

When was the last time you had a doctor’s appointment? I canceled one a few months ago, if that counts?

How often do you exercise? Nowhere near as often as I should. I really need to get more movement in my life. For my mental health more than anything!

Do you take physical education in school? It was mandatory. Did I participate much? Well that's a different story.

Are you on any medications? Yep, some OTC and one prescription. Do you have any mental disorders? Take your pick! I have a great selection! Have you ever ‘walked’ for a foundation (e.g., Breast Cancer, Heart Stroke, etc.)? Mhm

BOOKS

Are there many shelves in your house dedicated to books? Shelves among various other surfaces. We actually are in the process of buying a new bookshelf because all of our coffee tables and end tables have been buried in books! What page are you on in the book you’re reading? I left it at home but I'm somewhere in the 150 range. Do you have an opinion on the Harry Potter/Twilight debate, or is it all stupid and pointless? Are we pitting the books against one another or debating the literary merit of the YA fantasy genre as a whole? Either way, it's not something I concern myself with. I believe in consuming whatever art speaks to you and brings you joy. Something doesn't have to be high-brow or serve a ~higher purpose~ for you to enjoy it. Read what you want to read and to hell with the critics! Is there a section of the library you always gravitate towards? Well I haven't been to the library in ages but I like the contemporary fiction of the bookstore best. And I love the poetry section, specifically in used bookstores. Do you read more books or magazines? These days its books, but there was a time in my life where I was an insatiable magazine addict! Its really sad to watch the decline of the magazine industry. It used to be the center of my dreams. What was the last book you read aloud? A Peppa Pig story collection to the girls I nanny. Well, only one girl was actively listening. The other was whipping herself around in circles chanting "PEPPA PIG! PEPPA PIG!" Two types of people in this world :P Is being published one of your biggest aspirations? Always was and still is Do you keep your books in good shape, or are they pretty thrashed? I take good care of all my books. Any one that's in less than pristine condition is one that came that way from a thrift/used book store.

GUYS

Are you a guy? I am not

Are males your preferred gender? In terms of romantic and sexual partners, yes. In terms of friends and just general human beings, uh no.

What is your father’s name? Richard

Do you have a best guy friend? Two actually

Are guys more confusing than girls? I hate any sweeping generalizations like this. Humans are confusing, emotions are confusing, relationships are confusing! If you’re not a guy, what would you do if you could be a guy for a day? Provided I become a guy with a penis I'd definitely find out what it's like to pee standing up, jerk myself off, stuff like that. Otherwise, not much else interests me.

How many uncles do you have? Only three actual uncles. Although one of them is estranged so I have no relationship with him whatsoever, and the other is so close to my age that calling him "uncle" feels uncomfortable.

Are the majority of the people in your household male? We're 50/50

FACEBOOK

How many times a day do you log on? I check my app way more often than necessary. And that number is tripled on work days because I just get so bored and have nothing else to do.

Do you like to ‘poke’ people a lot, or is that just annoying? That's not a thing anymore. And the only people who ever did it were creepy guys who were too inept to start an actual conversation with me.

Who do you talk to the most on there? Glenn

Do you join many groups? I did when I was in high school, which leads me to find so many questionable things on my newsfeed to this day.

How many friends do you have? 1,000 and something

COOKING

Would you say you’re a good cook? I do. And I'd say I'm a very passionate, eager cook which accounts for a lot as well.

Was macaroni and cheese the first thing you remember making on the stove? I think grilled cheese was

Have you ever cooked an entire meal for someone/a group of people? It's one of my favorite expressions of love!

Who cooks more, your mom or your dad? My mom, absolutely. But my dad is a grill master and a breakfast connoisseur so those are his domains.

Do you have any recipes that have been in your family for a while? A few. But a lot of my favorite dishes growing up originated with my mom, so I'm only the second generation to cook them.

When was the last time you cooked at someone else’s house? I made toast for the girls I nanny yesterday

Have you ever cooked something on the barbecue? Nope, I'm too chicken!

Are you a better cook or baker? A cook, by far. Baking is too exact and scientific for me. Creativity is my favorite element of cooking. Not to say there's no room for it in baking, there certainly is!, it just comes with a greater risk.

THE 1990S

Were you born in the 90s? Which year? 92 baby

Do you remember getting your/your parents getting their first cell phone in the early 90s? I remember my parents (and aunts and uncles) all getting theirs around the same time in the late 90s/early 2000s. I didn't get mine till years later in around 2007ish.

Can you name the main characters from Saved By The Bell? Of course! Zach Morris was my first celeb crush.

Were you obsessed with any boy band? Backstreet's Back, ALRIGHT! (Although I gotta admit I had a shirtless poster of JC Chasez in my bedroom too. I'm a traitor!)

What is one fashion trend from this decade that you hope never comes back? Low-rise jeans and visible thongs

Did you get into the Japanese pop culture like most did? (e.g., Sailor Moon, Pokemon, etc.) Nope

If you could sum the 90s up in one word, what would it be? That's impossible to do. But MY experience of the 90s was, I'll say, playful.

How old were you when we entered a new millennium? 8

CELEBRITIES

Do you read gossip magazines? If so, who do you pay attention to the most? Well gossip mags aren't much of a thing anymore but social media is still a gossip playground. I'll admit I indulge in it once in awhile. What do you think about people still going on about the whole Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston/Angelina Jolie “triangle”? Well considering it's 2021 that I'm taking this survey, I'd say anyone still on about those relationships needs to get a life What celebrity does not deserve to be famous? Majority of them

Do you think celebrities have a right to complain about the paparazzi? I certainly do. An invasion of privacy is an invasion of privacy. Would you ever want to be a celebrity? I couldn't handle it. No way.

[selfdeprecatinglass]

Thoughts from an irrelevant girl.. (Pewdiepie Racial slur issue)

Back here just to state an opinion of mine about this issue. Before anything else, I am not an important person. I have no powers or authority whatsoever. I am also just a fan, supporter and avid watcher of Felix’s content on youtube. Just to clarify things out, I just want to voice my thoughts and opinions with all honesty and I am in no way trying to be superior above anyone else, haha.

Alright, so for those of you who didn’t know about this issue, just recently Pewdiepie accidentally dropped the ‘n’ word in the heat of the moment while he’s playing with his friend, Brad, in one of his livestreams while playing PUBG (Player Unknown’s Battlegrounds). I was actually watching the stream when it happened and it was surprising, but guess what? He didn’t mean to offend anyone. Felix Kjellberg immediately apologized right after he said it, and I’m sure he got surprised that it slipped out of his mouth. He added: “I didn’t mean it in a bad way.” which people think that it’s also even more insulting. But I don’t think it is because I believe and agree with him. He didn’t mean his expression in a bad way, and he spurted it out whilst in the heat of the moment, out of frustration. I got surprised but I thought as well; “Well, that was surprising! haha lmao yeah, it’s fine, you didn’t mean it. Now go on, continue the game!” But I was sure that he’s starting to worry a little bit because you could see it while it was happening, and Brad was even joking about it. He told Felix that it would be a long day for him starting from that time, and here we are, people are taking that part of the video and taking it out of context. Now more people are calling him a racist. Even the writer and co-director of the game Firewatch wants to sue him which is a different issue I suppose? But I think it correlates with this whole “racism” act.

I am a huge fan of Pewdiepie and I think that Felix Kjellberg is genuinely a good person. I don’t know him personally, of course, and my reasoning for believing that he’s a good person isn’t justified. But I do believe that he’s not a racist. I understand what he meant when he said he didn’t mean to sound it in a bad way, and I think for him, he mainly just stated a word. Yes, that sounds confusing. But for him and for a person like me who got it, who believes that this shouldn’t be another issue directly pointed at him to put him down and end him- I think it was just another expression to blurt out. The way he said it was the same with how people use the words: fucktard, coward, shit, cunt, asshole etc. I know that there’s probably history about the ‘n‘-word but seriously.. he wasn’t trying to bring back the past and insult what happened before. That’s why, I feel bad that people are seeing yet again, another issue and use it to put him down. I don’t think he deserves this pool of hate. I think in reality, he’s not the only one who have used the word. Other people uses it voluntarily, and insultingly.. and this person didn’t even mean it. So why get all the hate?

Pewdiepie admitted in his latest video that he was wrong, and he apologized about his stupid act. The rest of his fans and supporters understands him. I understand him and I still support him, even more. And to those who say that people who are still supporting him are advocates of racism, that is not true. Felix is not a racist. And this whole issue should be done because he apologized, not even once but twice.

So yeah, I’m done. If you have thoughts on this let me know, I love to talk to fellow supporters and people who just love to watch videos on youtube. Ciao! :-)

[i-am-gaylocked]

Late night thoughts

Hey guys,

It's been a while since I posted any sort of personal content on here; however, today something happened that made me once again contemplate the future of mankind, and I think the following is important for all of you, so I appreciate everyone reading through this, thinking it through, adding their own ideas, discussing etc.. Please no hate speech of ANY form.

Today, my home country Germany held their general election. Results are tumbling in, and the right-winged populist party AfD seem to have received a whole of 13%. This means that for the first time since the NSDAP & Hitler, a right-winged party has made it into our parliament. Concurrently, the conservative CDU (Merkel's party) has lost a whooping 9% and the social democrats (SPD) have lost almost 6%. (None of the numbers have been confirmed since not all votes are counted & checked yet, but these are reliable predictions.) Let's not even talk about how the pro-business liberals FDP, who decide to ignore climate change, are mathematically the only possible coalition party, I don't want this to escalate into one big rant about capitalism and it's ruining the planet and mankind.

What I actually want to address is the fact that the AfD was founded merely four years ago as a right-liberal alternative to the established partys; just two years later, its founder Bernd Lucke was replaced by Frauke Petry, who was considered strongly right-winged at that time. By now, another mere two years later, she is considered (by both outsiders and party members) as way more moderate than the rest of her party; in fact, AfD members have called her things like 'too soft' & 'too left'. Someone, who not long ago was deemed clearly right.

Why am I talking about the history of some German party? Because it is an excellent example how populists and fascists operate.

The AfD's deputy chairman, Alexander Gauland, has been known for his nazi-similar politics for years. By now, many members have attracted the attention of our Federal Intelligence Service; the party also has several links to other nazi movements. This is not how it started out though. Over the course of just one office term, it has changed from an anti-euro party to a right populist party whose members openly scream their hate speech against immigrants, muslims and any political left or middle party at people on the streets (I've seen it happen just yesterday), and who damn Germany & its system but in the same sentence talk about 'our holy homeland Germany', exactly like the ""official"" Nazis did and do.

Now, I could spend hours analyzing how and where and when this whole thing went downhill and what the governing partys and Merkel and the media did wrong in dealing with the AfD, but to be honest, it would be no good at all. Today's results show that apparently we are unable to learn from our own history (the NSDAP started out very similar, and although it would be wrong to generalise both times, we need to stop downplaying this issue).

What I would rather like to address is how many people are succumbing to the pull of populism in the last few years. And this is not a problem only Germany is dealing with; it is happening in democracies all around the world. I have my own theory why, because this has happened before, but only the facts that it is based on are scientifically confirmed, so don't expect me to be a reliable source for what's going on in the world.

A proven fact is that we are in the wake of the third big change of mankind: digitalisation (the first one being sedentarism, the second one industrialisation). Now, what we could witness during industrialisation is very similar to what is happening right now: rapid changes and development in sciences, society and politics, with one part of society pushing further and further towards progress and the other part being overwhelmed by the new fast pace of the world, followed by a rise in conservative and then right-winged, nationalistic and populistic tendencies (see e.g. imperialistic ideas that caused WWI). Now, industrialisation happened over the course of about a century; digitalisation has genuinely begun only about 10-15 years ago and has already developed much quicker. Again, this is not a confirmed parallel, just my understanding of things; however, change does cause people to get scared, and the more change happens at the same time, the more confusing it gets, causing people to feel lost among all the new developments, wishing for the old days and clear structures (-> rise in nationalism, the homeland as one last solid way of identification). Now, what does anxiety directly lead to? Rejection. Which leads to? Hate. You probably all have experienced it yourselves, when you were afraid of doing something, but you were scared to express it, so you just said you don't like it and that’s why you're not doing it? As someone with a lifelong experience with anxiety, I can confirm I have done this multiple times, and I have also often witnessed it with friends & family.

Anxiety leads to hate. So? Exactly. If people are scared and they hear someone loudly screaming about restoring old values, without the 'scary new things', they will gladly follow that voice, if it only sounds confident enough. Never mind facts, people vote with their guts, and if someone makes them feel safe, they get their support (see Trump for example).

The least of the people who have voted for right-winged people or partys, anywhere around the world, are actual populists or Nazis. Yes, there is a (way too large) core of these people, but they are NOT the majority. Most of them are scared jump-on-the-bandwagoners. Now, I am not making excuses for their behaviour, their choices and their views; I am just saying that telling a scared person that they are wrong or ignoring them does not help. Neither does telling these things to an angry person for that matter (as anger often comes from hate which comes from fear, etc etc). Fighting hate with hate is NOT a solution and never has been. I am the first person to feel the burning need to punch any person in the face who tells me that 'muslims are evil and their religion should be banned' or bullshit like that, but we NEED to refrain from physical violence, and, what's even more important (because this is a mistake that many, many people, including me, make or have made), insulting others & treating them without respect for their beliefs. And yes, this also goes for nazis (hear me out).

Yes, OBVIOUSLY they are wrong, their views and actions are disgusting and should have no place in our world whatsoever. But tell me, have you ever been told that your opinion sucked and that you should go to hell and it made you go 'Hm, maybe they're right, I'm gonna reevaluate my world view'? No. Being told that you're wrong, being insulted only increases your protest. So what you are really doing when you're supporting things like punching nazis etc. is promoting them. Obviously, they are in the wrong. Obviously, about 99% of the things they believe are wrong, and they need to be called out on that. But: BE RESPECTFUL. You don't have to actually respect them, I know it can be hard, but show them the respect they deny others. To be honest, anyone who says things like 'I am not gonna treat people with respect who disrespect others like that' is being egoistic. Believe me, I get your point, I really do. But if your goal is to actually convince someone, YOU HAVE TO BE THE BIGGER PERSON. YOU have to be the one to take a deep breath and say, 'hey, I disagree with you on everything I have heard you say so far, but let's talk. Let's discuss. In a respectful way.'. This is not just a quick concept of mine, by the way: Any ex-nazi can confirm this. What brought so many of them around was the people they were hating on inviting them in.

Yes, they often behave like monsters, but every human being just has the basic need to belong. If you want someone on your side, TAKE THEM IN. Be opening, be welcoming, without supporting or ignoring their unacceptable views. Show them that their ideas are not welcome, but show them that they as basic human beings are welcome. How do you expect someone to join you if you tell them, hey, you suck, but please be on our side because we are right and you are wrong?

If you genuinely want to convince someone to be a considerate, accepting person who lives in unison with others, this is the only way.

If you only want to shortly relieve your

anger, go on and punch nazis. Fight, insult, hurt them until enough life and dignity has been taken on either side for you to realise that violence does not end violence, and hatred does not end hatred, and that the only way to overcome and find peace is through love.

[surveysonfleek]

212.

1. When you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk so the cereal doesn’t get too soggy too quickly.

2. Do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a winter day? the first hit of cold is always nice. after awhile it gets annoying.

3. What random objects do you use to bookmark your books? nothing too interesting, random pieces of paper etc. or i’ll just fold the corner.

4. How do you take your coffee/tea? coffee: two sugars with milk. tea: one sugar and milk.

5. Are you self-conscious of your smile? i’m happy with my teeth, they could be a bit whiter though.

6. Do you keep plants? my mum loves plants, our backyard is huge and there’s gardens everywhere. there’s also some plants inside in the front lounge and then our dining room. none in my room, not enough sunlight lol.

7. Do you name your plants? no.

8. What artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? none. do tumblr surveys count?

9. Do you like singing/humming to yourself? only if i’m really into the songs.

10. Do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side or stomach.

11. What’s your inner joke you have with your friends? there’s too many but one of the more recent ones is millus. there’s a guy at work named milos and it’s correctly pronounced ‘milosh’ but everyone says ‘mi-loss’ which is also fine. one of our workmates called him ‘millus’ the other day ever so innocently and we thought it was hilarious. so his name is millus now. lol.

12. What’s your favourite planet? earth.

13. What’s something that made you smile today? getting a new candle!

14. If you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? definitely loft style. huge space with high ceilings. our room would be open on like a second level and then everything on the first level would be studio-like, not many walls apart from the bathroom.

15. Go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! no.

16. What’s your favourite pasta dish? ugh i hate pasta. if i had to choose, probably gnocchi.

17. What colour do you really want to dye your hair? nothing in particular. wouldn’t mind some highlights. but my hair is super dead, it needs a break.

18. Tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. tomorrowland and coachella alwayssss come up in conversation. 

19. Do you keep a journal? What do you write/draw in it? nope.

20. What’s your favourite eye colour? hazel is always pretty.

21. Talk about your favourite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. hmmm i change handbags every year and they all go through hell and back with me lol. but i’d have to choose my hand carry luggage. that shit is super old, one of the zips are broken, the handle struggles to pull up but i still take it with me everywhere. one time i checked it in and it went missing. i thought it was the end of it but thankfully it was found and delivered to my front door lol.

22. Are you a morning person? nope. but if i have to wake up early i can do so easily.

23. What’s your favourite thing to do on lazy days where you have no obligations? i clean my room a bit, rearrange stuff, cook something new and watch netflix.

24. Is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? probably my boyfriend.

25. What’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? i don’t think i’ve ever broken in anywhere.

26. What are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? i have a lot of favourites that i’ll wear until they eventually break lol. 

27. What’s your favourite bubblegum flavour? watermelon.

28. Sunrise or sunset? sunset. but sunrises are just as beautiful.

29. What’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? when my boyfriend geeks out about certain things like game of thrones lol. loser.

30. Think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes, of course.

31. What is your opinion of socks? Do you like wearing weird socks? Do you sleep with socks? Do you confine yourself to white sock hell? Really, just talk about socks. i only wear socks when i’m wearing boots or sneakers or if it’s winter and my feet are cold. i own more black socks than white coz of work.

32. Tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with your friends. that’s what i call a dope games night hahaha.

33. What’s your favourite pastry? i honestly love all pastry.

34. Tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. What is it called? What does it look like? Do you still keep it? this cabbage patch doll. she was black with dreads and had a flower tee. my grandparents got it for me, not once did i think she was different coz she was black, i just loved her! i have no idea where it is now sadly.

35. Do you like stationery and pretty pens and so on? Do you use them often? i love stationery, i just don’t use them enough to buy heaps.

36. Which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? no idea. none right now.

37. Do you like keeping your room messy or clean? organized chaos tbh.

38. Tell us about your pet peeves! i could make an entire list. but my main one are people who cough without covering their mouths.

39. What colour do you wear the most? black.

40. Think of a piece of jewellery you own: what’s its story? Does it have any meaning to you? my diamond bracelet my boyfriend got me for my 21st birthday. i love it but it’s super flimsy, it’s broken twice now so i don’t wear it anymore.

41. What’s the last book you remember really, really loving? harry potter. all of them.

42. Do you have a favourite coffee shop? Describe it! starbucks.

43. Who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? i feel like i’ve never done this before lol.

44. When was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? ugh idk never.

45. Do you trust your instincts a lot? yes.

46. Tell us the worst pun you can think of. i’d tell you but it’s not very punny.

47. What food do you think should be banned from the universe? none.

48. What was your biggest fear as a kid? Is it the same today? dogs. haha no, i love dogs now.

49. Do you like buying CDs and records? What was the last one you bought? i don’t buy them anymore. i don’t even remember the last cd i got.

50. What’s an odd thing you collect? nothing weird.

51. Think of a person. What song do you associate with them? marc, get buck. so random.

52. What are your favourite memes of the year so far? haha idk. i like memes but not as much as everyone else on my facebook feed.

53. Have you ever watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show? Heathers? Beetlejuice? Pulp Fiction? What do you think of them? none.

54. Who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? omg this girl at work last night. no customer service whatsoever. i hope i don’t look like that.

55. What’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? idk lol.

56. What are some things you find endearing in people? just their dorkiness.

57. Go listen to Bohemian Rhapsody. How did it make you feel? Did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? i didn’t listen to it. but i do enjoy that song.

58. Who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? Why? this is incredibly fitting. sara is the wine mom 100%, and irene is the vodka aunt, she’s even russian ffs hahaha.

59. What’s your favourite myth? unicorns lol.

60. Do you like poetry? What are some of your favourites? no. the only time i ever read poetry was in school.

61. What’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? The stupidest one you’ve ever received? idk lol. there’s been plenty both ways.

62. Do you drink juice in the morning? Which kind? nope.

63. Are you fussy about your books and music? Do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be? not fussy at all. i used to be when i was younger. my itunes library would have all correct details and i managed to cut the genres down to under 10. now i don’t care. my books are everywhere too.

64. What colour is the sky where you are right now? black.

65. Is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? yes.

66. What would your ideal flower crown look like? white, pink and purple.

67. How do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? i love staying inside during those days.

68. What’s winter like where you live? it’s nice during the day and freezing at night.

69. What are your favourite board games? cranium. its an everything boardgame lol.

70. Have you ever used a ouija board? no.

71. What’s your favourite kind of tea? honeydew milk tea with pearls.

72. Are you a person that needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? no.

73. What are some of your worst habits? i get annoyed easily. i also have no patience.

74. Describe a good friend of yours without using their name of gendered pronouns. i am theirs and they are mine.

75. Tell us about your pets! he’s my first and probably last pet dog, sky. he’s sooooo cute and super old but he still has the spirit of a puppy. physically you can see signs of old age in him but i hope he’s okay.

76. Is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? nope.

77. Pink or yellow lemonade? neither. they’re too sour.

78. Are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither?

79. What’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? organized a present for me overseas. lol.

80. What colour are your bedroom walls? Did you choose that colour? If so, why? turquoise and light grey.

81. Describe one of your friends’ eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. striking.

82. Are/were you good in school? yeah i was good i guess.

83. What’s some of your favourite album art? all of rihanna’s shit.

84.  Are you planning on getting tattoos? Which ones? nope.

85. Do you read comics? What are your favourites? nope.

86. Do you like concept albums? Which ones? is lemonade one?

87. What are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? sound of music.

88. Are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? modern shit. cubism, futurism, surrealism, pop art.

89. Are you close to your parents? fairly close, yes.

90. Talk about one of your favourite cities. san francisco is a dream. it’s the first city my boyfriend and i ever went to overseas. i love it so much, i want to go back.

91. Where do you plan on travelling this year? this year nowhere, only coz i’ve traveled twice this year already.

92. Are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? it depends on the pasta and the cheese.

93. What’s the hairstyle you wear the most? ponytail.

94. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my boyfriend’s dad.

95. What are your plans for this weekend? no ideaaaa.

96. Do you install your computer updates really quickly, or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastinate, duh.

97. Myer Briggs type, Zodiac sign, and Hogwarts house? i forgot, sagittarius, ravenclaw.

98. When’s the last time you went hiking? Did you enjoy it? probably diamond head lmao. i hated it but the view up top was amazing.

99. List some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. noo.

100. If you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go five years into the past, the other five years into the future, which one would you press? Why? errr neither. i guess i’d lean towards going back though. i don’t wna miss all the things the next five years could bring me.

[fatetempted-a]

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LAST UPDATED: 10 / 30 / 18

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hello everyone!   i’d like to thank you for taking the time to read my rules. i want to reassure you that there is   not   a password here because they give me anxiety and i don’t want that to happen to anyone else, but i trust that you’ve read them even though they seem a bit   lengthy   in my opinion. however they are   very   necessary to keeping my blog a safe space for me and a safe haven for you. just be aware that i will absolutely know if you have   not   read them.

♡   CREDITS   &   DISCLAIMER ——–

i am not, nor do i claim to be   any of my muses  . i have no affiliation to them any television show, movie, or wrestling promotion they are or may have been affiliated with. this is simply a roleplay blog created for writing hobby purposes only. my mun faceclaim is   emmy rossum  , most of them particularly in her role on shameless. i have no affiliation to her, shameless, or any other shows / films she’s been in either.

you can find all of my credits for icons, screencaps, and everything else that i don't take credit for on this page. i’ve tried to keep a lot of credits in tact, but if you see somewhere where i’ve moved or deleted it, notify me and i will correct the wrong   immediately.

♡   FOLLOWING   &   SELECTIVITY ——–

i.   when following me first, please take into consideration whether or not i can navigate your blog on desktop tumblr. i need to be able to see the following pages: guidelines / rules on every blog, biography/ies for non–canon original characters, and a list of muses for multimuse blogs. if you do not have a rules page i simply will not follow, period. i need to be able to see if not only our muses but also us as writers will mesh. this also makes it difficult to tell if i do something that may make you uncomfortable if i’m unaware of what your limits or what have you are.

note:    if not having rules, biographies, or muse pages is something you’re working on or will have in the future, please send me an im and let me know because i’m more likely to follow back even if i can’t read them at this time with them not being finished!

ii.   i like to consider this blog   mutuals only  . which means that i will only follow back people who i see myself writing with for a number of reasons. the most important ones being i want to write with you and your blog follows my guidelines. unfortunately, however, it does mean i   won't   roleplay with non-mutuals. iii.   though, i don’t want my selectivity and mutuals only status to scare you off. you’re more than welcome to express interest in rping with me   anytime   through the ask feature if we’re not mutuals! if you have a plot idea or genuinely are   that   interested in rping, we’ll give it a go. i’m pretty flexible about these things.

note:    if you are purposing a ship right off the bat and we aren’t mutuals, purpose a ship oriented situation, or anything of the sort, it most likely will not happen since we aren’t mutuals and therefore i haven’t had a chance to get the feel for our characters. i know this sounds   harsh  , but i’ll discuss how i ship in the next section.

iv.   due to bad experiences in the past, there are going to be times where i’m totally selective for plotting because i have a hard time trusting people to   actually   follow through after the wrong doings that have happened to me. v.   even though i do follow back a lot   (   90%, lbr   )   of the time, i reserve the right to  n o t  follow back if i so choose. this may be because i just don’t see that our characters are going to write together or mesh well, your blog triggers anxiety for me, or your blog doesn’t follow my guidelines. vi.   i also reserve the right to   unfollow   at anytime that i may become uncomfortable with your blog. this may be because you’ve said something that   offends me, broken one of my rules, or just general became an anxiety trigger for me. it also may be because you followed me and we became mutuals, but you made no attempt to interact with me. i am   not   a blog who follows for a higher follower number. vii.   i also will be unfollowing any blogs that have constant, daily or near daily self–depreciating passive agressiveness. examples that are not what i’m talking about are as follows: mental health issues, family drama, general bad day and need to vent, temporarily being down on yourself and much more but i think the gist is gotten. this is a more recent rule of mine but it’s gotten to the point where it’s an extreme level of toxicity that i don’t care to see. viii.   i do believe in   mains. this is no way is any sort of exclusivity. it just means that those versions of a muse will probably be replied to first, given the first shot at plot ideas, etc. you can find my list of mains on the navigation pop–up.

♡   NSFW   &   TRIGGERS ——–

i.   this is  not  a blog that does pwp   ‘ aka ’   porn without plot. i firmly believe in a strong story behind writing and shipping. i am   not   just here to write smut. while it’s fun to write sometimes, i still need to be comfortable with my writing partners to do it. sorry. if that’s what you’re looking for, you’re in the complete wrong   place. ii. nsfw stands for more than just smut on this blog. it essentially stands for anything that’s not suitable for just anyone to read or to have at work, in public, etc. such as, but probably not exactly or limited to the following topics:

note:   abuse implication, alcohol consumption, drug use, gore, murder implication, rape implication, self-harm, suicidal tendencies, violence. etc, etc, etc. •   a couple of things i will   absolutely not   write out under any circumstances are   alpha / beta / omega smut plots, animal abuse, any sort of incest, graphic depictions of murder / suicide, pedophilia, or rape  . •   i should   not  have to add pedophilia up there, but in the past i have come across blogs that wrote it and was absolutely appalled. so i need to specify that i will   not   be writing that disgusting, illegal, and morally wrong subject.

iii.   if you write incest, i do have   incest tw   blacklisted simply because it’s disgusting and immoral to me. but if i see you write / have written about spawns / children of incest, imo, that’s a little too far into a taboo subject that is pretty disgusting in the eyes of society in the first place as well as myself and i have no desire to write with you. if i find out after following, i will   unfollow without hesitation . iv.   i will   do my best   to tag triggers for people. i will have all triggers i tag or have been asked to tag on a list which will be located here. v.   triggers will be tagged in the following format:   #word tw  . vi.   my own personal triggers are as follows: cancer, eye gore, paranormal imagery   (   imagery that looks real, similar to paranormal activity   ) , and trypophobia.

♡   OUT OF CHARACTER——–

i.   my name is   rae   and i am a 24 year old lesbian, grey–a, cis female from southwest iowa in the central timezone who prefers that you use   she / her   pronouns when addressing, but will gladly accept   they / them  . ii.   i will   not   tolerate drama between roleplayers on this blog. this means vague blogging about myself or my mutuals, harassing myself or my mutuals, slandering myself or my mutuals, etc. the list goes on, you get the gist of it. iii.   do   not   bring me into your online drama with people. in the past i’ve been dragged into a lot of drama and i will   not   tolerate it anymore. i have too many real life stresses to worry about and persons who have nothing better to do than cause people grief won’t be tolerated. iv.   my blog is   hate free  ! i don’t tolerate any sort of hate whatsoever. this may pertain to hate on other roleplayers, my or my mutuals characterizations, my characters in general, my mutuals, myself, etc. you get the picture. v.   one thing that i prioritize above everything else is my   mental health  . i have schizophrenia, bipolar, obsessive compulsive disorder, serve generalized anxiety / social anxiety, depression, insomnia, and a mood disorder. therefore sometimes i will be a hermit and avoid everyone and everything. it’s   nothing   against you, but it’s just me trying to keep my mental health in check. vi.   discord and snapchat are my only forms of contact outside tumblr ims, but they are available upon request to mutuals.

♡   SHIPPING & PLOTTING——–

i.   Si ship chemistry  . period. while i may claim to be a ship whore and i have various ships that i absolutely adore—–i still need to find a certain chemistry between our characters. if we’re close, however, chances are this does not apply to you as i’m aware of how you write and i know we mesh well. ii.   do not under   any   circumstance force a ship on me. i do understand   enthusiasm   though. sometimes i get super happy and excited about shipping too, but there’s a line between enthusiasm and pure forcing a ship.

note:   on that note, i will   never   force a ship on you. however sometimes i feel like i do. if i over-do it or you ever feel uncomfortable,   please   kindly let me know and i promise i will cease whatever it is i’m doing.

♡   STARTERS & STARTER CALLS——–

i.   i typically   do not   write greeters. however, depending on if your account really intrigues me, i may write you one. please do not feel upset if you do not get one. you can always   message me   to ask for one. in the same note, if you would like a greeter, you’re welcome to ask for one. just don’t expect a novel if i’ve got nothing to go on or no idea. ii.   if you write me a greeter i will   more often than not   reply to it. it may take me a bit, but i will   try   to reply. and i appreciate it when you take the time to be patient with that. it shows me you really want to write with me as i’m a turtle.

•   note: if for whatever reason i cannot find the will to reply   (   which is usually because i’m a numpty and can’t figure out how to reply to the certain situation in your starter   )   i will absolutely message you and let you know. maybe we can discuss it and you can either tweak things or i can write you something small.

iii. my starter calls   are   mutuals only. it isn’t anything against non-mutuals. i’m just very guarded at this point in my life with indie rping.

♡   WRITING WITH ME——–

i. please do not   godmod   or   powerplay  ; whichever you prefer to call it. it’s annoying and very rude. if it’s something small and obvious   (   eg. they headed upstairs   )   because the roleplay calls for it and we need to move things along, that’s fine. but don’t tell my muses how to feel or majorly act   without   my permission. ii.   mun and muses are over eighteen so please know that smut will be written on this blog if / when i feel comfortable with it. very scarcely, however, as i need to feel comfortable with my writing partner beforehand. with the teen verses i have, all of them are eighteen. i will not write below eighteen. i just don't feel comfortable with it. iii.   i do   not   care how you format. i personally use tiny icons   (   usually 68x68   )   that i make myself as well as sub font. however, i don’t care how you format or don’t as long as you respect my choice on how to. in return i’ll do the same for you. writing and roleplaying is about feeling the scene through words, not the aesthetics and that’s all that matters to me. iv.   you must be literate when writing with me. and by that i mean don’t type in chat speak   (   eg. “y r u doing that?”   )   or use -description-/*description*. the “literate” rule does   not   apply to typos or grammar if english is not your first language. i completely understand those two things. v.   don’t ever   force or pressure   me to reply to threads. i run at very slow   turtle speed   so take that into consideration before following. this is solely because of physical health and mental health issues. trust me—–it kills me not to be here roleplaying and writing in general, but sometimes it happens.

•   that being said, if i do not reply within   5 days  , you are allowed to message me about it and make sure that i still have your thread in my drafts and the status of it. •   sometimes i lose threads and if i do, all you need to do is gently poke me and ask if i still have it. i   will not   but upset with that. •   i do, however, get upset and anxious when people are   extremely rude   about threads being too slow or lost. if you are rude, i will immediately drop whatever we have going and probably unfollow or block you depending on what the situation is. as stated above, this is a hate/drama free zone.

vi.   even if we’ve never interacted, feel free to send me  m e m e s  at anytime. the only thing i ask that you DO NOT send are shippy memes if we’ve not discussed shipping before. this rule does not apply, however, if i know you from another account and we always ship. lbr, i’m trash like that.

[moss-brain-blog]

Interview with Jake Brown Transcript

What's your background?

With art? Or just in general?

Just in general, yeah.

Fuckin’ yeah, raised in a shitty mining town, surrounded by people with no prospects for life. From a very working class family. Always raised in the way of y'know, "you go to school, you go to work and you die."

*Both laugh* I feel it. [We're from the same place]

Nowt special really.

So... what is it that you're aiming to do?

Me, my ideal goal is to become a tattoo artist. Like, that's my ultimate end-goal. I also wanna’ like be good as well, I don't just wanna’ be like... yknow?

Yeah.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think I could ever settle for just being a tattoo artist. I see that as another level. If I were to ever have an end-goal with it, it'd be to be award-winning. Be able to travel over the world doing it. That'd be really fucking good for me. I'd love that.

What ways are you going about achieving this goal?

For me, at the minute, it's just drawing constantly. I never did art at school, I never did art at college. It was always like- I suppose it just feeds back to that family thing of "you work..." Art's never been considered a career or never was considered a career at a young age. I never really thought about it when I was young because I was never given the opportunity to think about it like that. It was like, you either play sport and become a famous rugby player or football player, or you work a 9-5 job or a shift job.

Off the back of that, I didn't write this one down but do you feel that not being in formal art education has impacted your work?

Yeah, definitely. I think if I could have been introduced to the things that I know now a lot earlier I think I’d be leaps and bounds better than what I am now. It's only in the last 6 months that I've discovered watercolor and like, digital art, sort of that I can do it. If I’d have had access to this kind of stuff at an earlier age, I’d be a lot better. I suppose it's the same with anything really. You give a guitar to say a 3-year-old that’s interested in it then y’know.

Can you tell me a bit about your creative process? How you go about seeing a piece through, start to finish.

So, I mean, at the moment it's flash that I’m doing so I’ve got to draw roses. so if say for example I’m doing an A3 flash of about 15 roses at the minute. I get my sketchbook any chance, any spare time that I have I’m doodling away. Like, straight away, just sketching roses all the time. I spend all my time looking on Instagram, looking at photos of roses, looking at a lot of other people's work, see how they do things. Take that, and mold my own stuff to it. But if it's for something else, say, that I personally want to do, I get inspiration at the most random times. Usually when I'm at work just doing the worst stuff possible, I'll think of a great idea. So, it'll be a case of whichever medium I want to do it, whether it be like watercolour, Promarker, pencil, digital.

You don't feel yourself restricted to just one thing?

No... No. Just sorta’ go with what I'm feeling at that time. So I’ll always just grab the nearest piece of paper- say I’m at work I’ll write it down then I’ll go home and I'll do a really rough sketch of it. Really, really basic rough sketch., Or if like I’m doing it digitally, for example with the print that I did, I got a really basic photograph of a skull, then a photograph of a mace, then a photograph of a chain. Then like, crudely photoshopped it all together and then just sketched over the top.

Building your own references?

Yeah, then just build my own line-work and style over the top of that. Yeah, I tend to put like, a lot of stages to what I do. I put a lot of planning into each piece, a lot more than I think people realise.

How do you go about choosing the subject matter for your work?

For me at the minute it’s looking at the most popular or most reoccurring thing with the tattoo industry. so like y’know back to roses and skulls and daggers and panthers and pinups it's all basic stuff that you see every day. but you’ve gotta’ learn the basics before you start pulling out your own stuff.

 I understand you use both traditional and digital media fairly equal-handed within your work. What advantages and disadvantages do you personally see in both for the kind of work you do?

I think for me like, with traditional media, I don’t have the patience for it. If I'm doing like, a really big piece- I can have all my line-work down perfect, the slightest thing goes wrong with the colouring and I lose it. Say, once I've ruined a large watercolour piece with the slightest thing I don't really wanna’ go back to it. I'd rather just jump back to digital. I think my only sorta’ issue with digital is that I rely on it too much at times. But then is it really a bad thing, I guess?

Was gonna’ say, do you see that as a problem?

Sometimes, because I’d like to be able to have more options. Like, I do have a fair few options open to me but I don't wanna’ rely on the same thing every time. I'd like to be able to do a bit of this, a bit of that.

Is personal expression important to your work? Or has it been in the past?

No, never. For me, I mean... interpret this how you want but for me with art you should always just do what you want to do. But I think using art to force an agenda or an opinion is just- it's mistreating it. And I think it ruins a lot of- like there's so many people out there that could be amazing artists but they're too busy trying to push this agenda or this idea that it just pulls away from what they could be producing.

Yeah, definitely. I really like that answer. Who are your biggest influences, creatively?

I'm currently just doing a massive list. [He must have seen this one coming]. I would say definitely number one is a guy called Manuel Mendoza, his Instagram is @sacred_crow. He's just a neo-trad’ artist but I forget- he's based in the US; he's just moved shops. But his style is like it's really- the dark colours but he's using like greens and blues and yellows. So he'll do like skulls- a lot of skulls a lot of birds but they're all like, really deformed in a way. They're all stretched out and exaggerated, I find it amazing the way his line work is. It's absolutely amazing. But if I pick someone that's not a tattoo artist, that's always been a big artist it's gotta’ be French[@funeralfrench], every time. Definitely. So I've just finished up- here's a list of about five.

 @sacred_crow

@funeralfrench

@mattcurzon

@grindesign_tattoo

@tdonaire

I think I should also add on like, definitely John Baizley and Richey Beckett. I really love their stuff. I think that sums it up. They're definitely my biggest inspirations.

Name something unusual that inspires you.

Satanism. Definitely.

Hell yeah.

Seeing stuff like old photos from rituals and stuff.

Yeah, Occultism.

Yeah, just all that stuff in general. Like, from the Electric Wizard vinyl I recently got, there's loads of stuff on the inside of that. I dunno’ just summat’ about it, it's just the grim darkness of it all just fascinates me.

The overwhelming sense of dread. Does that appeal to you?

Definitely... definitely.

What ways do you keep up to date with the tattoo industry?

Instagram... and I occasionally will buy magazines. I visit the local studio quite often, stay in touch with all them. I keep up with a lot of the main websites and magazines online. I even follow a lot of product companies like the companies that make [tattoo] machines or like, inks. Just to find out what's new and keep up with what people are up to in that world as well. Like, looking at the business side of things.

Yeah, so you're not just looking at the artist aspect of it you're looking forwards to y’know?

Yeah, every aspect of it. All the way.

How important is social media to your personal practice?

It's everything. Without social media I've got no outlet to share my artwork. I mean, I 've just hit a hundred followers. That's taken a long time to get to. Without the social media side of things... I don't even know where I'd begin to start sharing my work, to be honest.

Gives you a platform, right?

Yeah definitely.

Can you recall the single defining piece of work or a moment where you turned around and had the realisation that this was the kind of thing you want to pursue?

When I first- hmm. I'd say I've got two points. First being at a really young age and seeing my dad's tattoos for the first time. Just being fascinated that that was... there. Just like, what it was. Once it got explained to me, I found it fascinating. So from like maybe age 4 or 5 I used to just draw up and down my arms all the time. So that really sparked something. And then I'd probably say the first time I got tattooed was the moment of realisation where I was like, "Oh, maybe I could do this." I mean, that was a fair few years back now like but that was the first spark of "I could do this, if I really put my mind to it." I mean I suppose a lot of depression and anxiety and a lot of stuff that's happened has really held me back over the years. But yeah, I think my defining moments of realisation are those two. Definitely.

Name something you hate about art.

People who put no effort in, no time in. Get ten times more recognition than somebody that's put hours and hours and hours into their craft. Learning every piece of what they do, say learning anatomy, learning the tools they want to use. Just, really putting the time and love in for what they want to do. Then you get some snot-nosed little kid that's- well, it's not kids but snotty stuck-up teenagers. They'll whip out a sharpie, scribble summat’ down and just put summat’ with no effort whatsoever, no care for what they're doing. They just knock summat’ out in 5 minutes maximum and it gets so much recognition and so much more praise than somebody who is putting the hours in.

So you care about the craft?

Yeah.

Name something you love about art.

That like, people- anyone can do it, if you put the time in. Anyone can produce summat’ that looks great if you put the time in. And it's for everybody that's willing to give it a chance, definitely.

What was the last piece of art you bought?

Bought... I mean I suppose I recently bought a coat just because of the print of the back. I've also bought a few vinyls mostly because like- I accept music as an art-form as well, also the album artwork.

Oh, definitely.

Like, the main reason I got the Crack the Skye album was because of the artwork on it. As for prints, I tend not to buy prints. I suppose the last proper piece of art was either a pin that I got of French's Heatseeker magazine.

Last question, how many toddlers do you think you could take in a fight?

Just line em up. I'll just keep going.

[brianwarden]

Gad the Islamophobe

I recently listened to an episode of Sam Harris's excellent podcast "Waking Up" that featured as his guest Gad Saad, someone who's own podcast is another favorite of mine; I highly recommend both. Both Harris and Saad are academics/scientists/public figures who are highly critical of recent trends regarding free speech, postmodernism, tolerance, political correctness, and “regressive leftism”.

 That term, which I first heard used by Muslim reformer Maajid Nawaz, refers to those ostensibly on the left, that often engage in regressive tactics, principally anti free speech bullying. Regressives are in the vanguard of extreme political correctness, commonly complaining about "cultural appropriation", the wage gap, patriarchy, Islamophobia, etc. For instance, in many a college campus it has become common for regressive's to target visiting speakers, show up at the event, and attempt to silence said speaker. This is often done by blocking entrance to the event, harassing attendees, rushing the stage, and in more than one instance, pulling fire alarms.

 So I am a big fan of Harris and Saad, as well as their comrades in arms Christine Hoff Sommers, Dave Rubin, Joe Rogan, Bill Maher, Sarah Haider, Jon Haidt, and several others. I consider myself a liberal, but am embarrassed by what many of the same label are currently doing: silencing opposing views, demonizing all white men, creating safe spaces, trigger warnings, and micro aggressions; what I prefer to call the PC left. I guess I meet the definition of a classical liberal, of the John Stuart Mill mold, but the semantics of political labels have become very muddled lately.

 As hinted above, I'm not a fan of the term "Islamophobia". Not that I think it's a meaningless term, just that it's over used to the point of becoming virtually meaningless. Any criticism of Islam is characterized as Islamophobic by the regressive left, even the most obvious. E.g. criticisms of Islam's treatment of women or gays are labeled Islamophobia, even by feminists and gays within the regressive left. A legitimate usage of the term Islamophobia, in my view, would be towards someone who refers to “ragheads” or “sand n**gers” or wants to turn the entire Middle East in to glass or prohibit all immigration from countries with a Muslim majority; that's Islamophobia, no question. All I'm saying is that the term is thrown around a lot.

 As in the case of the term homophobia, the "phobia" part isn't precisely accurate. The definition of a phobia is "an extreme or irrational fear of, or aversion to something." Most homophobes aren't actually scared of gays, they just hate them. Same for Islamophobia, except with Islam there is an element of fear; terrorism is real, and its biggest practitioners presently are Muslim.

 Harris himself has often been (mis)labeled as an Islamophobe and even a bigot, but these charges are without merit. I've read all of his books and essays, listened to every podcast, watched countless videos, and have never yet heard a single comment that could be accurately described as bigoted. He's as harsh towards Christianity as he is towards Islam.

 Until I listened to his podcast entitled "The Frontiers of Political Correctness" I would've said the same of Saad. Saad's own personal story is very interesting and gives his views and opinions some weight. "I was born in Lebanon, I grew up in Lebanon, so my mother tongue is Arabic, we're Arabic in a multiplicity of ways...some of the music we listen to, and the foods, and if you saw us you wouldn’t know that we were anything but Arabic, the only asterisk is that we are Lebanese Jews" (40:55).

 He states he has over 100 Muslim friends. Later, he claims that in his neighborhood, if he encounters 20 women, 8 will be wearing Islamic garb. In Montreal. "I could walk out of my house, and of the first twenty women I see, eight are wearing Islamic garb" (1:21:30). (I call bullshit. 40% of the women he encounters in Montreal are Muslim?)

 But where he gets real bizarre, and makes Rush Limbaugh seem tolerant, is when he describes an incident that occurred while out with his family:

 "Close to my house, we tried to go to a children's park, and saw two women in full burka, my daughter got out, felt a bit scared, we got back in the car and left" (1:21:00).

 Covered faces are indeed to some extent frightening. Armed robbers in ski masks, clowns, ninjas, little old Korean ladies hiding their skin from UV, KKK hoods, soldiers lined up all in gas masks; all scary looking, no question. But flee the park in fear?

 Is there some right, some principle of liberty, that entitles one to gaze in to the face of all fellow citizens in order to better read them and their intentions? As Harris wisely responds, perhaps on private property one has such a right, say a 7-11 owner in reaction to someone in a ski mask. Absolutely, I agree completely. But out on the streets, in a public park? No way. No such right has ever existed in the West, nor do I know of anyone ever proposing such an idea.

 But Gad's daughters’ reaction at the playground leads me to wonder just what the fuck is Gad telling his kids at home? I mean, worse-case scenario, there is a Muslim male under the burka, right? What would be his families’ reaction if there were Muslim males there at the park, perhaps even taking prayer? Flee?

 It is not an overstatement, nor PC in the slightest, to state that Gad Saad and his family are literally Islamophobic, to the point that genuine fear, and flight, occurs when spotting Muslims. Never mind that he previously said, "Your chances of dying by murder in Canada is unbelievably small" (52:15). This is certainly true. In all of Canada, there were 19 violent acts towards Jews in 2014, the most current year for stats, resulting in zero deaths; yet, an average of 9.5 people die each year in Canada by lightning strikes.

 He also said several other things during the podcast that are troublesome to say the least. For example, he revisits this traumatic trip to the park, and expands on his theory of a “right to see [people’s faces]”:

 "If your position is that, no, let's not intrude on their right to quote choose, I actually think that my right to be able to read your facial features, since that's an evolved quality, in my communication system, supersedes your right to be in a tent, and if you want to be in a tent you don't belong here because I want to be, when I walk to that school yard, not school yard, but play park, and there were two, I'm guessing women but they could be anything right, I can't tell who they are, and they were in black and we all froze, and I come from that land [Lebanon] and my daughter got scared and we got back in the car, then my rights lost there. And therefore, no, I don't think we should allow that expression. No, I don't want that in my streets" [emphasis added] (1:42:05).

 Perhaps it’s good Gad resides in Canada. That viewpoint regarding religious expression won’t fly in the states. His right to read faces? Because the ability to read faces evolved in humans, it’s now a right? That’s not how we set out rights. Later, he seems to be claiming that he simply can’t prevent himself from stereotyping and acting on it:

 "No one probably knows more nice and decent Muslims, probably no one has more Muslim friends than I do by virtue of my background, so obviously at the individual level there's no discussion to be had, there are very nice Muslims, there are very bad Muslims, we're talking here about statistical regularity's, right, our brains have evolved to detect statistical regularity's [stereotypes], I mean that's a central feature in the architecture of the human mind” (51:29).

 Or check out this gem from the “Gadfather”:

 "There's a game that I satirize, but frankly the satire is very accurate, it's called 'Six Degrees of Kill the Jew' and the game works as follows: so basically, the way the game works is, Achmed comes to the room, I say hello to him, how many exchanges does it take before we converge - especially since I speak Arabic and therefore he certainly doesn't know I'm Jewish - before we both converge on 'let's go kill the Jews'. And the reality is, this is how it typically goes: 'Hi Achmed, how are you? Fine, let's kill the Jews’" (1:13:40).

 Then, a minute later, he admits the above stereotype is mythical: "Of the top 100 Muslims that I know, every single one of them is a lovely guy that doesn't fill the 'kill-the-Jews' stereotype, but that doesn't say anything about the greater issue" (1:15:00).

 He seems to have some issues. He is simultaneously claiming: the odds of being murdered in Canada are “unbelievably small”; that his family is not outwardly Jewish looking, “if you saw us you wouldn't know that we were anything but Arabic”; that he knows lots of Muslims and none of them are anti-Semitic; yet, if burkas are spotted, FLEE!

 In the novel Infinite Jest, there’s an organization called U.H.I.D., the Union of the Hideously and Improbably Deformed, an agnostic-style 12-step support-group deal for what it calls the “aesthetically challenged.” It’s a hilarious portion of the book, with a pretty absurd premise, and is milked for some great laughs*. But beyond this comedic “donning of the veil” is a more serious issue, albeit one most of us haven’t considered. Does one have a right to hide one’s face?

 Although it’s not enumerated in the Bill of Rights, I believe a person has the right to cover their face in public. For any reason whatsoever. I see little old ladies covering themselves out of fear of sunlight. I see germaphobic people wearing masks out of fear of germs. And, of course, religious people doing what their religion tells them, or what they interpret their religion to be telling them. Given the extreme importance the Founding Fathers put on religious liberty and expression, I think those values trump anyone’s desire to read faces.

 I tried to raise this subject with the man himself, via twitter, and was quickly attacked, by Gad as well as many of his followers. He used his stock insult on me, “naturally lobotomized castrati”, and mocked my curiosity on the matter. E.g. I wrote that I found his family’s reaction to seeing burkas “baffling”; he responds with: “It is ‘baffling’ why it would be jarring to see individuals wearing black tents in a play ground with hidden identities”. He goes on: “Clearly, only ‘racist bigots’ would be concerned about such an ostentatious display of openness and warmth.” Thou doth protest too much.

 In the wake of Charlottesville, I’m noticing something quite alarming: many of the folks that I considered to be basically liberals, but have a major problem with the PC left, are not liberal at all; they’re as conservative as Rush Limbaugh and just enjoy mocking and ridiculing campus snowflakes. The reaction to Harris’ tweet of August 13th, regarding white identity politics, exposed many of these folks. I don’t put Gad in the category of Limbaugh, but he’s got a dark side that’s for sure.

 ___________________________________________

  * “Well Mr. Gately what people don’t get about being hideously or improbably deformed is that the urge to hide is offset by a gigantic sense of shame about your urge to hide. You’re at a graduate wine-tasting party and improbably deformed and you’re the object of stares that the people try to conceal because they’re ashamed of wanting to stare, and you want nothing more than to hide from the covert stares, to erase your difference, to crawl under the tablecloth or put your face under your arm, or you pray for a power failure and for this kind of utter liberating equalizing darkness to descend so you can be reduced to nothing but a voice among other voices, invisible, equal, no different, hidden.

 But Don you’re still a human being, you still want to live, you crave connection and society, you know intellectually that you’re no less worthy of connection and society than anyone else simply because of how you appear, you know that hiding yourself away out of fear of gazes is really giving in to a shame that is not required and that will keep you from the kind of life you deserve as much as the next girl, you know that you can’t help how you look but that you are supposed to be able to help how much you care about how you look. You’re supposed to be strong enough to exert some control over how much you want to hide, and you’re so desperate to feel some kind of control that you settle for the appearance of control. What you do is you hide your deep need to hide, and you do this out of the need to appear to other people as if you have the strength not to care how you appear to others. You stick your hideous face right in there into the wine-tasting crowd’s visual meatgrinder, you smile so wide it hurts and put out your hand and are extra gregarious and outgoing and exert yourself to appear totally unaware of the facial struggles of people who are trying not to wince or stare or give away the fact that they can see that you’re hideously, improbably deformed. You feign acceptance of your deformity. You take your desire to hide and conceal it under a mask of acceptance. In other words you hide your hiding. And you do this out of shame: you’re ashamed of the fact that you want to hide from sight. You’re ashamed of your uncontrolled craving for shadow. U.H.I.D.’s First Step is admission of powerlessness over the need to hide. U.H.I.D. allows members to be open about their essential need for concealment. In other words we don the veil. We don the veil and wear the veil proudly and stand very straight and walk briskly wherever we wish, veiled and hidden, and but now completely up-front and unashamed about the fact that how we appear to others affects us deeply, about the fact that we want to be shielded from all sight. U.H.I.D. supports us in our decision to hide openly. But a lot of the forms of self-hatred there is no veil for. U.H.I.D.’s taught a lot of us to be grateful that there’s at least a veil for our form.”

 “So the veil’s a way to not hide it.?”

 “To hide openly, is more like it.”

 From Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace

[NOTE: I fully realize there is a false equivalence between the people featured in the attached pic and two burka clad women at a playground; the point is, all the people in the pic are violating Gad’s imaginary right to read faces. (Btw, the woman in full burka is Janet Jackson and son.)]