#i am not fucking staying the last hr
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composeregg · 1 year ago
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I'm so glad my coworkers and I all have a no snitching pact
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kuiinncedes · 7 months ago
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:c
#i luv my friends ;-; i feel like i’m gonna lose my mind when i’m not living right by all my friends lmao 😭#i’ve literally been hanging out w ppl like at least every other day if not every day#we made semi spontaneous plan to go to pride tmrwwweww 🥹🥹 i’m excited#i just am so happy that i get to spend sm time w ppl rn bc we’re all somewhat free bc summer 😭#also idk i was just thinking abt this recently but like#it’s kinda new to me to like actually be comfortable/confident in knowing my friends want/like my presence ;-;#even then i’m not that confident LMAO bc after sm time together i’m like surely they��ll get sick of me#like we’ve seen each other every day the past like three days#but no 🥹 ugh like idk man i had one elementary to sort of middle and high school friendship#that like fucked me up i feel like lmfao 💀#like girl sidelined me so much for other friends that i just#:l and cried so much bc of that 😀 anyway 😀#so like idk i’m just so grateful rn 😭😭😭#also was thinking abt it recently bc my mom made me feel judged/ made me feel like she was annoyed that i was staying here on campus#when i technically don’t need to and my main/only reason is bc friends#and after that conversation w her i got kinda annoyed bc i was like#i have had so many conversations w you where i was sad af or frustrated that my friends wouldn’t reach out to me ever#or my friend who never paid attention to me when other friends were around#like i don’t think she’s actually judging like me staying for friends but it was that one conversation we were both kinda annoyed idk#and i was just like . pls#anyway 😀 i always have so many friend thoughts i always be overthinking it LOL#anyway anyway i need to be up in like 6 hrs LOLLLLLL pride tho yay 🥰🥰🥰#rip me not having clean cute clothes for this LOL 🤪#ong last yr i tied my hair in a ponytail w like rainbow hair ties tied down the ponytail……#idk if i have those but if i do maybe i should do that again LOL#idk might be too lazy tho we’ll see how much time i have to get ready when i wake up 🤡#jeanne talks#TOO MUCH BYE
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If you've never heard an LRAD go off in person, I *genuinely* do not want to hear your opinion about methods of resistance in the US.
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tsarinajissa · 1 month ago
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Watching Amber's short from this morning and hot damn is her 3A so fucking good.
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t4tvglow · 2 months ago
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it happened so early in the morning and i am STILL frothing with rage over this text my boss sent me
#unreasonable unbelievable targeting me bullshit like what is your problem what is your PROBLEM#are you punishing me preemptively for telling you i'm going back to school? LOL? cuz sure That makes me wanna stay!#i am splitting so viciously on her right now and i can't even care to wish i wasn't#this was the last fucking straw mentally for me on Trusting This Boss#and i sure as shit can't trust the one above her#i am soooo mad i am so mad i am so mad i am so mad#i just want to be transferred out already and start part time work somewhere else NOW#if i can leave earlier i fucking will#i will be without insurance for a bit but i can try to get on some fast#i just. ooh! ooooh!!!! you little fucker!!!!!!!!#i cannot trust a single person in the front of the building anymore#and i have to sit next to my least favorite person in the back now#and i am just. utterly miserable right now i am Miserable at this job that isn't even as bad as it could be#but holy shit the petty condescending bullshit is driving me fucking up the wall#i can't look at any of them!!!! without feeling intense hatred!!!!#i have no social life outside of work and i can't talk to ANYONE there about this because it'd just find its way back to her!!!!#i can't tell HR because it's not that serious! except it's driving my mental health into a tailspin!#but i still can't tell anyone!!!!!!!! because what proof do i have that she's singling me out!#even tho she has NEVER FUCKING DONE THIS TO OR ABOUT OTHER PPL#i can't Prove that and i sure as shit can't sit down with her and talk to her about my feelings#no job is ever fucking safe to do that in#i just want to walk into a river honestly like i need work so i can pay for college but i wanna be in college already and be Out of here#i just wanna skip to the END of college when i'm actually able to be a nurse and i can feel less like the butt monkey at work#i hate hate HATE being at the bottom of the totem pole i am literally nothing there even though they need me to function#but oh my gd the Looks people give me when i walk in a room like they expect bad news or to be annoyed#sorry for asking questions! would you rather i fuck up and you have to clean up the mess?#i clean up everyone else's messes all day!#they ARE going to feel it when i am not there anymore#you'd think they wouldn't be such cunts to me now but Nope. nope! almost All cunts.#i am so fucking angry at my boss in particular though that text fucking triggered rage i haven't felt in months
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tiny-feisty-gay · 7 months ago
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jobs will say they're disability friendly until you actually need them to be friendly about your disabilities
jobs will say they're mental health friendly until you actually have to miss work for it
jobs will say they support you taking time off until you actually do it
capitalism is a sham and employers do not and will not ever care about you, and if you're chronically ill, sucks to suck
i have an average of 1.5 absences a month and i'm tardy an average of twice a month, and somehow that's still too much.
18 absences in a year if i go at the current rate. 18. out of the 208 days total that i work (4 on, 3 off, with a 3 hour commute each direction.) 18. days. of absences. and that's too many.
and god forbid i be more than 15 minutes late.
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onrainynights · 3 months ago
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I'm not even asking for much literally I just need a job like that's it just a job that won't literally kill me would solve like 70% of my problems and well the other 30% I can't do anything about anyway so let me fix what I can fix and give me a job PLEASE
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zanderbobs · 5 months ago
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Shocking and appalling...my manager has not in fact messaged me to say "hey we probably won't need you in tonight" and now I must actually work and earn money I need...
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yunogf · 2 years ago
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not me illegally taking &passing a certification test for a license i do not have for my coworker under the direction of my boss' daughter 🤪
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astonmartinii · 2 years ago
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Hi, love your work. Could you please write a Lando Norris x engineer!reader thank you 🥰
team bonding | lando norris social media au
pairing: lando norris x engineer!reader
people start to notice the chemistry between lando and his race engineer
yourusername
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tagged: yourbff
yourusername: life between races ✨
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lilaclando part time race enginner full time mother
landonorris so where was my karaoke invite?
yourusername you'd really come all the way from monaco to do karaoke with my uni friends ???
landonorris duh
mclarenlover he's so in love you can't tell me otherwise
oscarpiastri the real question is what song did you sing?
yourusername man i feel like a women obviously
oscarpiastri taste as always
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landonorris
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liked by yourusername, estebanocon and 601,843 others
landonorris: what happens at the monaco after party stays at the monaco after party
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babynorris i did not know lando was friends with mick and este but i am living for this
estebanocon the best nights are the ones you don't remember
mickschumacher where is dj lando?
lando4ever are we all just collectively ignoring the girl in the last slide?
leclerc16x call me delusional but that looks like his race engineer
landonorizzzzz ur delusional (i hope you're right)
f1wagsupdates
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f1wagsupdates: in his most recent post lando norris included a picture of a girl many believe to be his race engineer y/n y/ln. she's worked with lando for just over a year and are a beloved duo in f1, with their radio conversations being a huge source of entertainment. what do you think of this potential couple: cute or unprofessional?
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babygirllando i think it would be cute... i mean we've all heard the radios... the one when lando crashed... she was so stressed
maxyverstappen i mean that's kinda her job?
kittyrussell as much as i would love this couple, they work together like HR violation ???
norrisszn maybe the issue here is y'all assuming everything all the time ? they're clearly friends? i didn't know you couldn't party with your friends
LN4 literally people assume shit every time and cause the issues
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f1
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liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 421,077 others
tagged: landonorris
f1: lando norris is back on the podium in austria after some quick thinking from his race engineer y/n y/ln helped the brit undercut the alpines to take third!
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landonorris your fave duo tearing it up
yourusername we slayed 💅
glitterlando I DON'T CARE WHAT THAT RAT STEINER SAYS THEY’RE CUTE AND PROFESSIONAL
planetdannyric this is what you get steiner - double haas dnf and y/n being a big component of lando's podium KARMA
danielricciardo team work makes the dream work !! happy for you two 🏆
hugsforlando danny being a landoy/n shipper so true of him
landonorris
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liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 531,778 others
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landonorris: after the last couple weeks, y/n has been subject to the most ridiculous and disgusting ridicule from people from within our own sport. y/n y/ln is one of the most talented individuals in f1 and i am forever grateful that she is on my team! i think we all saw how important she is to my success, so appreciation post for my rock! x
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howdyricciardo god they are so cute whether they're a couple or just friends
yourusername awwww thank you lando i don't care what they say we continue to slay
landonorris lets fucking go
flowersforlando i need this couple to happen fuck steiner
smoooooothoperator no cause power couple for real
yourusername
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yourusername: don't let any man tell you that you can't do it
p.s. slagging off your drivers in your book and on national television is more unprofessional than anything i could ever do
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mickschumacher ❤️
danielricciardo as the children say - mother
landonorris forever proud of you y/n
yourusername thank you landinho
maxverstappen1 let's gooooooooo
carlossainz55 tell them !!
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landonorris
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landonorris: what if i told you i don't care, our team chemistry is unmatched
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yourusername not exactly how i thought we were going to do this but i love you silly ❤️
landonorris i love you more
danielricciardo so it is true !!! was about to ask you if you finally grew some balls and asked
landonorris dude don't out me on main
lewishamilton so so happy for you guys !!
yoursricciardo omg parents
lovelylando they make me believe in love for real
yourusername
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tagged: landonorris
yourusername: i'd take all the shit in the world to stay with you ❤️
p.s. let's get that win baby
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violetleclerc i will be seated for lando's maiden win and y/n excellence
landonorris i love you so much (and the win is coming, i can feel it)
yourusername you'll get what you deserve in due time
maxverstappen1 does the camera man not get a shout out?
yourusername thank you for being our personal photographer, not my fault you tackle my phone out of my hands whenever i try to take a pic of you :/
note: hope you enjoyed, i'm finally getting through the requests !! xx
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woso12 · 3 months ago
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Leah x teen reader
Warning ⚠️cuss words
I walked into the locker room and went over to my locker and started to get changed ‘’WHAT
THAT’’
someone yelled in to the locker i turn around and find the source of the voice
‘’what is what’’ i said back to the person only to realize when i turned towards them it was my caption leah
“That” she points to my tattoo on my side ribs “nothing” i said back nervous ‘
“Bullshit” angry present in her voice
“It was just a drunk mistake” i said with anger in my voice
“You are too yong to be marking up your body” more angry present in her voice
“I dont why you care so fucking much its my body and if i want to mark it up i can” now storming out of the training room
“Dang that was a little harsh” beth said
“Yeah” leah said as she left to go find you
Time skip
“I have been looking for you”
“Well here i am going to give me a another lecture about my tattoo” with a little angry in my voice
“No i actually came to apologize”
I stayed stayed silent
“It your body and i should not have flipped out like that in front of everyone im super sor-”
Before she could get hr last sentence out i got up and hugged her
“Im sorry for yelling at you” i siad after we parted from the hug
‘Its ok bug” leah said as we head back to the locker room
I’m.so.cool
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This week photo dump 🤠😁
Comments are turned off
This is my first time writing anything so please tell me if I suck or what I need to fix -mady❤️)
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solar-wing · 1 year ago
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⚣ Rag Doll 🤬
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⚣🤬 A/N → My first Jason Todd fic I posted on my other account! This full NSFW will be posted here since taking it out would lead to half the story being taken out. WARNINGS: NSFW. Breaking&Entering. Consensual-Non-Consensual. Bondage. Anal Sex. Rough Fucking. Mentions of Throat-Fucking. Domination. Breathplay (Choking). etc.
⚣🤬 Summary → Jason hasn't gotten it through his head that you and he were broken up. But, for the vigilante, you haven't gotten it through your head that you belong to him. He plans on reminding you of that little fact. Sorry for your window.
⚣🤬 Words → 2.1k
REBLOGS and replies are greatly appreciated, please! 💛
⚣ ENJOY 🤬
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“I’m not arguing about this with you again, Jason!” You shouted into your phone while pacing back and forth in your living room.
It was damn near midnight and you were just about to get in the shower after a hard day. Your job was stressing you out, your neighbors were getting on your nerves, and your ex-boyfriend, Jason Todd, hadn’t gotten it through his thick head about the ‘ex’ part.
“I don’t want you fucking working with him, Y/N!” Jason shouted back through your earphones. You had to switch the call to them after you got tired of holding the phone against your ear for over half an hour.
Your job put together a new team for an important project after your company merged under Wayne Enterprises. You were selected to lead this team, along with one of your co-workers who you had been aware was interested in you since you started working at the company.
Unfortunately, your ex was the jealous and possessive type of guy who upon finding out this information demanded you quit. It turned into a major argument that lasted for weeks until you eventually called it off with him after two years. Obviously, he wasn’t happy about that and refused to accept it. 
You kicked him out of your shared apartment, changing the locks, but it didn’t stop him from coming back, acting like you guys were on a break instead of actually broken up.
“I don’t give two flying shits, Jason! We broke up. You don’t get to tell me what to do with my life.” You repeated, for probably the 14th time within the last 30 minutes.
“Don’t raise your fucking voice at me, Y/N!” He growled through the phone.
“Don’t fucking talk to me like I’m your child, asshole!”
You heard him go quiet for a minute, though you could hear how hard his breathing was through the line indicating he was reaching his limit but so were you. Many people wondered how you two managed to stay together as long as you did since you both were hotheads.
“I’d remind you, Y/N, to watch who you’re talking to like that. Don’t think for one second I won’t-”
“You won’t what, fucker?” You cut him off, your patience non-existent at this point.
“Baby boy, please just-”
“No, Jason! I told you I am through with your controlling ass behavior. We’re over. Stop calling me, stop texting me, and stop having your family watch me. You have no say at all in my life anymore. If I want to go fuck Levi, Adrian, Steve, and the whole motherfucking HR team, I will do so. And there is not one thing you can do to stop me. So with that, goodnight, Jason.” You said, clicking the button on your earphones to hang up the call.
A deep sigh escaped your lips before you took your earphones out and placed them in their case. You walked to your bedroom and tossed the device onto the bed, missing the silhouette of a tall, bulky body standing on the building across from your apartment window.
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You had just finished brushing your teeth and were about to wash your face when the sound of glass shattering from your bedroom alerted you.
“What the fuck?” You muttered to yourself before opening your bathroom door, looking to see your bedroom window in pieces. But that wasn’t what shocked you the most. What had you staggered and growing furious was the person you saw standing in the middle of the mess, dressed in his vigilante attire, just without the helmet.
“Jason Peter Todd, what the actual fuck is wrong with you?!” You seethed, a tight knot forming at the back of your head from your anger toward the beefy vigilante.
He held a smug grin, slowly walking toward you while grabbing something off his belt, “You hung up on me baby boy, and we weren’t finished talking yet.”
There was a dark tone to his words as he backed you into the corner of your room with him easily dwarfing you in size. The glint of the metal handcuffs in his hand shined in your eye as you let out a gulp.
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Your wrists ached and were the color of an apple as they were repeatedly dragged and rubbed against the handcuffs that had you bound to the headboard on your bed. Tears pooled in your eyelids and ran down your cheeks as you felt Jason thrusting roughly into you with his hand squeezing your dick, denying you another orgasm for the 4th time. 
He’d been at it for over an hour, fucking you in every position he could think of all over your no-longer shared bedroom.
There was a growing soreness in your hole from your ex’s rough treatment, only slowing down every now and then to delay his own orgasm. He only would allow himself to cum when you did first. Such a gentleman.
Thing was, he would keep denying your orgasm until you submitted to him and agreed to take him back. Now, he chooses to accept your break-up! Great fucking timing…
His body hovered over yours as forced your legs wider with one hand while using the other to hold you around your neck. It was something from his possessive nature that just liked the feeling of control he got when he could squeeze and take your breath away at a moment’s notice. 
“A-Ah! Cl-Close a-a-again.” You whined as you felt your body jutting up and down with the shaking bed frame. 
The sound of fists pounding from the other side of the wall, your neighbors signaling their annoyance and request for you to quiet down, but Jason ignored them. Before, he would always stop and yell out an apology. He was considerate like that, but tonight, he couldn’t give one fuck if the entire building came knocking on your door.
You were his entire focus. All he cared about was you and making you feel every bit of pleasurable pain while at his mercy.
“Uh uh baby boy,” He grunted in your ear, squeezing down on the base of your dick again, preventing you yet again from reaching your blissful end. You felt more than heard the cry of frustration you let out, your head turning back as he licked and bit at your earbud.
Your body was littered with bite marks and hickeys, another thing from your ex’s possessive attitude toward you. The red marks would remind everyone else who you belonged to while the soreness from your hole would remind you. Jason’s size alone could have you squirming all alone without his rough pace.
Looking over his shoulder in the distance, you could see the mirror facing your bed, and Jason’s large frame fucking into you like an animal from behind. Even with his shirt still on, you could see how sweaty he was which did nothing but increase the arousal and need for release in your stomach.
Jason knew just how much it drove you crazy seeing his muscles underneath the compression material even when you guys were just out on a regular outing, let alone during sex. It was very obvious he did that on purpose just to make it even harder for you to resist him. He even kept his mask on too, probably remembering that one time you said you liked the mysterious vibe it gave him.
All you wanted at that moment was to touch him, to run your hands up and down his back and over his arms, or through his dark hair to grip and hold on as he pile-drived into you mercilessly. But, as cruel as fate was (fate being named Jason), your restraints would not give way no matter how hard you pulled against them. 
He let out an amusing chuckle at your struggling before tightening his grip around your neck, restricting your airways.
“Ja-Jason, please…” You gasped before he increased the pressure even more, stealing your breath away.
A soundless yelp escaped your lips when he gave a particularly hard thrust against your spot while rubbing his thumb over your red, weeping head, smearing your pre-cum all over before he slowed down to a dragging pace so he could speak into your ear.
“You know what to say, Y/N. I let you have this little charade to give you time to cool off like the caring boyfriend I am, but obviously, you needed a reminder of who’s in charge here. So tell me what I want to hear, baby boy, and you can have your reward.” He gruffly stated before his movements suddenly paused inside you and he released the pressure on your throat.
“N-No! Please- a-ah, fuck ... ! Please, Jason, I-I need…” You cried the second you felt him stop and the air came rushing back into your pipes.
Jason was buried all the way inside you, throbbing hard against your walls. You could tell he was close and was using this as an opportunity to calm himself down so he could keep fucking you if you didn’t give in.
“Those aren’t the fucking words I want to hear, Y/N.” He scolded in your ear with a harsh slap to the side of your butt causing you to scream out in pain before he tightened his hold around your neck again.
He brought his head up from between your neck, his hard stare looking you down as you tried to hold back the tears still building in your eyes. “Fuck, you’re so hot like this and you feel so good around my cock. You’re tight and wet and all for me. Stop torturing us both like this, baby boy. Just say it.” He dictated before leaning down to kiss your lips which were still swollen from when he face-fucked you for 10 minutes.
You suddenly felt him give you a pounding thrust, squeezing around your dick at the same time causing you to scream into his mouth.
“Come on baby, just say it for me. Who do you belong to?” He muttered against your lips, punctuating every word with another thrust and squeeze, forcing more tears from your eyes as your body shuddered from the pain and stimulation.
He laid soft kisses around your cheeks, treating your face like a flower but your body like a rag doll.
“N-nh, ah ... f-fuck ... y-you you…” You breathed, barely able to form any coherent words from his increasing grip on your neck.
“You what, baby?” He prodded, watching as your eyes fluttered close from the pleasure of his increasing thrusts, “Ah ah, open up those eyes, baby boy. You need to look at me when you say it.” He ordered, thrusting against your prostate again forcing you to open your eyes with another whine.
“I-I b-belong… oh fuck… t-to … ah you…” You muttered, hearing his growl in response.
“Say it again.” He ordered, punching against your spot again while squeezing your dick.
“I belong to you.”
“Louder!”
“I belong to you!”
“I said louder!” Your bodies rocked together with the shaking frame hearing items hit the floor from the wall where your headboard was banging against as the pounding from the other side started up again.
“I BELONG TO YOU!” You shouted at the top of your lungs.
You could hear the smirk in his voice as he smashed the head of his dick against your prostate before he leaned down into your ear, releasing your dick with an order, “Cum.”
Your body felt like it was encased in white-hot fire release overcame you, screaming out “O-OHH, FUCK ... !”
You twitched underneath him as your dick exploded with your orgasm, painting your stomach and his shirt with your white sticky cum while your legs were shaking from the stimulation as you came down from your high.
Jason feverishly increased his pace, fucking into you with erratic movements before he let out a loud groan, pushing as far as he could while shooting his load inside you. It caused an aftershock to turn through you, sending more spurts of your own cum out your weeping dick as he tensed and tried to hold himself still while breeding you.
He moved slowly back and forth, both your bodies still lightly shuddering in pleasure. He brought his face back over yours, pressing your sweaty foreheads together.
“You’re quitting tomorrow.” He stated, leaving no room for argument.
“Fuck you.” You replied, slowly catching your breath.
“Watch it,” He retorted with a small hard thrust while flexing his still-hard dick eliciting a small cry from you.
He chuckled at you pressing his lips against yours again before muttering out against them, "You're mine, and if I have to remind you of that again, I will."
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☀️ | Jason Todd/Red Hood | ☀️
☀️ | Masterlists | ☀️
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junedenim · 2 months ago
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not one goddamn thing
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part one part two part three part four
if you're in love with you, you might as well be with him
warnings: smut, piv, angsty, fluffy, whatnot
word count: 4k
He's got the sheet resting at his hips. His back bare, your hand sliding up, contracting his body heat. His breathing is slow and steady. His eyes are still closed. You've debated waking him up. You've debated leaving. You haven't made an attempt at either. You're conflicted about feeling conflicted and you've stressed over everything you could and he still hasn't woken up. 
You were up late last night. You know he was up later than you. He had left the bed while you were dozing off for a cigarette. God knows he probably got wrapped up in some work assignment that could have waited until morning but he took care of it then. He always seems to find a way to go to bed late.
He's stirred a handful of times, switching from lying on his back to lying on his stomach. You've stayed in the same place: naked and under the covers. You're not sure what you're hiding from or how something has changed in the last few hours to make you nervous around him, fearful of what will happen when he wakes up.
Maybe you should leave, at least get out of bed and take a shower. But his face is right next to yours. His hair is roughed up and fluffy, the edges touching your forehead. You long to be so close to him and so far away at the same time. You hate yourself for getting into this mess. But then he's doing this little sigh in his sleep where all the tension has rolled away from him. It's the only time you see him still. He's so button-up all the time, running around, determined to get everything done, to lighten everyone's load, but in bed he's still. 
These early mornings, the first hour where he is just so still. He told you once that he hates lying around in bed for so long. It makes him feel like he's missing out on time. You told him to get out of bed then. He said he was comfortable here, next to you, finally feeling he could take a breath. You told him he works himself up too much. He agreed but got out of bed 15 minutes later to finish something from work.
"Hi," he croaks, taking you out of your moment of remembrance. His eyelids flutter, adjusting to the morning light.
"Hi," you manage.
He looks like he could go back to sleep. He pulls his arm around your stomach, holding you to his side. "What are you thinking?" Alex asks.
You shrug.
He exhales and rubs his hand up and down your side. "You're thinking something." You don't know what to say so you stay silent. "Come on. Did I fuck up so bad?"
You shake your head.
"I'm pretty good at reading you but I can't work off these non-verbal responses."
"I'm just thinking about work," you pawn off as a bad excuse. 
"You mean, us at work," he corrects.
"No." A pause. "Yes. I don't know. I'm just figuring stuff out." You feel tense and you know he can feel it too. Stuck in your rigid muscles and stiff in your brain.
"Okay. Why don't we go away for a little? See if we tolerate each other out and about." He's cheeky and thinks distracting you like this will somehow work.
You fight off the grin and tell him, "I know I tolerate you. I like you, Alex."
"You like me?" He smirks.
"What do you want me to say?" You sit up, resting your back against the headboard.
"You don't need to—no, that's not true." He sits up beside you, wanting to make clear eye contact with you. "I want to stop dancing around what we are doing."
You raise an eyebrow. "By going on a trip?"
"By going to HR."
"No." You're quick to get out of bed. "I am not doing that." You throw the sheets and go for your clothes. Running feels easy now.
Alex moves closer to you but stays in bed. "We're having a relationship."
You're pulling last night's clothes on and, yes, you feel shameful doing the walk of shame in Christmas party attire. "That no one needs to know about. It's our own personal business."
He squints and starts doing that thing where he speaks with his hands, tapping his hand on the mattress and chest to emphasize his point. "No, it's my business and it's my ass on the line if we get caught."
"I'm not going accuse you of anything and we're not going to get caught."
"Consider our behavior at the holiday party."
You're quick to point your finger at him. "You're the one who took me into the closet."
He throws his hands up in the air. "I thought you weren't going to accuse me of anything!"
"I'm not going to HR." You turn away from him to grab last night's dress, a sloppy mess on the floor.
"Fine," Alex settles. "But are we even in a relationship? You seem to want nothing to do with me."
"I want everything to do with you! I just don't want everyone at work knowing that. I love working there and being with you but the second that comes out, everything I do gets labeled with preferential treatment and me being some kind of slut."
He falls back against the headboard and rolls his eyes. "Oh, come on, it's not Mad Men. You have the idea that everyone cares so much. People don't give a shit."
"I give a shit!" You yell at him. "I need to know that I did it on my own."
"You will know that. Who cares if Gunner or some loser thinks you got some favour? You did it on your own."
"Did you give me the assignment with Jeff because you wanted to sleep with me?" That fact had played on your mind when you first got together. You hadn't thought about it in a while, so, rightfully it comes bubbling up in an argument. 
His face scrunches up and he looks around bewildered, unable to believe what's coming out of your mouth. "What?!"
"Come on, you had just broken up with your girlfriend, we were having a company party later that day, and you wanted a piece of ass so you buttered me up by saying my proposal was better than Jeff's."
"I thought you weren't going to do this accusatory shit?"
"It's just a question."
"No! I picked yours because yours was the best. Not the shit Jeff threw together in 2 minutes. Don't act like you weren't willing either. Do you think this whole relationship has been some plot for me to get an easy hook-up? If I wanted to bang someone, I would have fucked Elizabeth."
You throw back at him, "Why don't you?"
"Because I only want to fuck you. What? Do you feel some other way? You want to go fuck Gunner?"
You cross your arms, scoffing, "Yes, Alex, I'm the office slut—"
"Don't pull that card, okay? You know what." He stands walking over to you. "I love you and whatever else you want to imagine, go for it, but that's not changing. If you don't feel that way, then fine. Trust me, I've gone through a lot more than losing you."
"I wouldn't know. You never tell me." The blanket of his past has been largely uncovered and though you don't care much hearing about his various ex-girlfriends, it's clearly held part of him back. 
He seems to hesitate on this like he is combing through his brain looking for an answer. He moves his head back and forth like it will help him decide his next move like a Magic 8 Ball. Then, he stops and looks at you. "I'm gonna take a shower. Leave or stay, either way, I'll have my answer."
He disappears off into the bathroom. You're left trying to figure out your directions again. There's leaving, which feels like the easiest. Running away has always been a specialty. There's joining him in the shower, which used to be so easy. Now, it feels far and suffocating. 
You decide to walk around, making your way to the kitchen. Evidence of last night is found with your high heels scattered on the floor and Alex's tie was stuffed halfway into a couch cushion. You open his pantry and front and center a new box of your favourite cereal. You had finished the last box the morning before your fight in his office, which means he got this new one after you started speaking.
Maybe it's for him but it's still unopened and you've never seen Alex eat a bowl of cereal, only ever stealing from your bowl. So, you pour yourself a bowl and wait for the shower water to stop running. You try not to think too much but it feels impossible. Your mind wanders to the water flowing down his body in the shower. Your desire for him almost overcomes that pit in your stomach.
He stops in the doorway. You see it. He's shocked you're still here or maybe he's pissed you are. You can't tell. He walks behind you, still dressed in a shirt and boxers, his hair now damp. You turn your head to watch him as he starts the coffee machine. 
"Do you want some?" He asks as he stares as the coffee drips into the pot.
You shake your head and turn back to your cereal. "No. I'm good." He stays put, leaning against the counter. You stay put, scooping your cereal. "What time did you get to bed?"
He loudly sighs. "Late."
"Maybe if you went to bed earlier you wouldn't need some much coffee."
Alex snorts a chuckle. "Probably."
He knocks his knuckles against the counter and waits for his coffee. You finish your bowl before it's fully dispensed. You look at him, making your gaze clear, and he keeps staring at the coffee. "Do you want me to leave?" You ask, so unsure of yourself now.
He doesn't respond. Doesn't say anything. Doesn't shake his head. Keeps looking at that damn coffee. 
"I don't want to leave," you confess. "If that's why you're not answering. You know, like, if you think I don't want to be here and you're too scared to say anything. I want to be here."
"Okay." He reaches up and grabs a mug, pulling the coffee pot out.
"Alex." You want some answer from him. You fear you've let your doubt linger for too long and it has spread to him.
Then, he stops you. "I bought you a mug for Christmas."
The statement leaves you confused, unsure of why presents are being brought up, unsure of why he's talking about this and not the status of your relationship. "Okay."
He shakes his head and you're not sure if it's at you, himself, or the coffee he's pouring. "I couldn't think of anything else to get."
"Well," you shrug, "I like mugs. I'm an easy girl to shop for. I like all kinds of things."
He nods, reaching into the fridge for half-and-half. "I know. But I don't really know you."
"You know me," you reason. "You love me." You heard him say it so he can't take it back now. 
He hums, leaning his hip against the counter, the mug warms his hands. "I don't know you. I mean, compared to...past relationships, I don't know you. But I get this feeling when I'm around you and I noticed it before. Thought it was some measly crush." He laughs at himself and stares down at the floor, avoiding your eyes. "Then, when I was single, I was down for a while, not sleeping. You know, smoking too much."
"You don't smoke too much now?"
He cracks a smile and his eyes finally lift. Your stare at one another is warmer than expected but filled with questioning. He confesses, "I didn't like you much at first. Did you know that?"
I nod, managing a tiny smirk. "Yeah. I didn't like you at all."
"It was in your first week and I talked to you in your office and when I walked away you and Elizabeth did that thing where you whisper with one another. I figured you were talking about me. I was so sensitive back then."
"You still are now. I like that about you. Besides, we were probably just talking about your ass."
He nods a laugh and continues, "A few days after my break-up, you walked into the lounge and had me pour you a cup of coffee. Then, it just switched."
"Because I ordered you around?"
"Yeah. Kind of. Gunner is so scared of me he pisses himself, I can barely hold a conversation with Elizabeth, Ed is too aloof and he is my boss too, plus he doesn't wear a mini skirt to work." You laugh and he shrugs, crossing his arms. "I just clicked one day."
"It was when you told me I could laugh at your misfortunes. At that dinner. Before then I just thought you were a jerk."
Alex accepts this, always willing to take criticism and see the worst in himself. "I picked your proposal because it was better than Jeff's but I'm not going to say I wasn't attracted to you. That I didn't want to get to know you better."
"You have to be okay with the fact that I don't want people at work knowing we're together." You don't ever want to hurt him but you won't give parts of yourself up in the process.
"Okay."
"But I do love you." He needs to know that. Needs to know that part is true. "Proudly. I just can't mix the two."
"That's okay."
"Are you sure?"
He nods at his feet before making his eye contact with you. "I'd do anything for you. You have to know that by now."
"But I don't want you to have to feel that. That you have to sacrifice your own happiness and wishes because of what I want."
He shrugs. "Yeah, but I want you and so that's that."
"That's that?"
"Yeah."
You probably worry about him too much. He's a grown man but, to you, he's much more. A man who is pained by rejection and disappointing anyone. "But I don't want to take things away from you or feel you have to give things up for me because—"
"Can I kiss you?" He stops you dead in your tracks. A smug look and a sip of his coffee.
"What?"
He takes a few steps forward, leaning his body closer, his head now hovering so close to yours. "Can I kiss you?" He could do it if you wanted to. Easily. His lips are so close that he could swoop down right away.
You try your best to be of a clear mind, but his gaze, his words, his lips, him. Everything is so difficult. "We can't just shove these things around until the next fight. We have to be practical."
"I am being practical. I want to kiss you."
Your brows furrow. "Why?"
He laughs. "Did you seriously just ask me why?"
You curl your arms around his neck bringing him closer, despite insisting, "Let's be serious." Sometimes you just need to feel him. His skin contact calming your heart rate, his lips racing it.
"I am being serious." Your breathing gets heavy, your skin feels prickly as the anticipation builds. You've missed him, all of him, the way he speaks and the power he holds over you, the rare occasions you had time to just enjoy yourselves and take things slow, the warmth of his body curled up next to yours at night—and the way he touches you, grabs you, takes you, and his lips brushing up against your own, his skin against yours and the friction between you.
“Can we go back to bed?” Alex asks.
“Are you for real?”
“Of fucking course.”
And he leans over, gently grabbing the back of your head, and pulls you in to close the distance between you. His lips crash onto yours and suddenly you don’t care about anything else but this moment. You close your eyes, the bitter coffee taste on his mouth remaining the only thing on your mind. Fast, erratic, his breath against yours. You push against him, harder, every ounce of missing him channeled into this kiss.
“I hate you,” you say, breathless, as you pull apart.
“Uh-huh.” He smirks and takes your hand, dragging you back to his bedroom. 
Initially, he's slow with his movements, like he wants to take you in piece by piece. He lifts last night's dress off of you, staring at you in your bra and panties. He plays with the strap of your bra, pushing each strap down one at a time. He kisses the top of your breasts, giving each his love. He reaches back and unclasps and you let the material fall to the floor. 
But you want some too. You pull on his shirt, signalling for him to remove his mouth so you can take his shirt off. You snap the waistband of his boxers and he slides the fabric off his butt, kicking it down the rest of the way.
His lips reattach to yours. His hand plays its way down your skin before he snaps the waistband of your panties. You remove your hands from around his neck to pull them off when he slaps your hands away. He shoves his hand into them, connecting with your clit right away, pulling a shocked moan from your lips.
He leans his head back to get a clear look at your face. The way your eyes flutter and your lips slightly part makes his erection even more brutal. He tells you, "You know, I think I want to fuck you. What do you think about that?"
You bit your lip, desperate not to give him the satisfaction of you moaning as he works away at you. You nod, equally desperate for him.
He hums and removes his hand, walking away. It leaves you confused until he sits down on the edge of the bed, eyes transfixed on you, standing so lost and innocent, and he motions for you to come to him.
You stand in front of him, waiting for his order. He kisses your stomach, slowly sliding your panties off of you. His hands come up to squeeze your ass before he pulls you down onto his lap, making you yelp in the process. "Do you want to fuck me?" He asks again.
You nod again, just to toy with him.
He squeezes your side, making you pull away from him with a giggle. He laughs out, "Come on, you want me or not?"
You sit up straight, straddling over his lap. "I want to. I want you."
So soft and vulnerable, he asks, "Promise?"
With the most sincerity, you nod, holding his face in your hand. He's so rough and can make you drown in your desire, but to hold him in your hands. You hope to make him feel at home there. Always. You kiss him, just kissing him, for a little while.
Eventually, you pull away and he pushes your hair back and there is such longing but also a wish to keep still like this. Horniess wins out. You reach down between your legs to pull his dick forward to rub it against your pussy. Your folds part around the thickness of his cock, sliding yourself along his shaft and coating it before sinking down on it completely.
"Fuck," you both moan in relief. You bounce on him, rocking your hips. His hands stay on your waist, moving along with you. Always in need of control, Alex flips you, pressing you into the mattress and thrusting into you before you can fully process what's happening.
He leans down to kiss you, keeping the affection, even when being so rough. He slips his tongue into your mouth and swallows your moans as he keeps pumping into you in deep strokes. You widen your thighs so he can settle even further between them and then wrap your legs around his waist to keep him there like there is even the slightest chance of him pulling away.
"You like fucking me?" He asks, frantic for words of affirmation. "Huh?"
"I'm close," you tell him, forehead pressed against his and your words spoken against his lips. You slip your hand between your sweaty bodies to work your clit, but before you can make contact, Alex is batting her hand away so he can do it himself.
Your body arches off the bed as he rubs you and thrusts into you. "Come for me?" He says it like a question—a simple request. You whimper and writhe underneath him, eyes threatening to roll back in your head the longer you try to keep them open. 
You roll her hips against his rubbing fingers and his cock pounding into your cunt, trying to pull him even deeper into you. The ball of pressure that has been building up inside you bursts. You feel so spent already, wanting to collapse, but he keeps going.
You feel too sensitive and your orgasm is still vibrating through you, but you don't have the energy to try to do anything and you want to make him feel good.
"Wait," you whine, gripping his forearms to keep him in place in case he does try to pull away. "Not so hard," you tell him.
He listens, slowing his hips and switching up his pace to pump into you in long heavy strokes, once, twice, three times, and then staying. He shoves his cock in deep and unloads.
His body falls over you as he comes, his hips twitching sporadically as he pumps into you. You sigh at the comforting warmth you haven't felt in a while. You clench your pussy around his throbbing cock as he finishes emptying his load into you. He slowly pulls it out watching as a river of his cum starts to flow out for a moment before flopping down onto the mattress beside you.
His arm comes over you, needing to feel your warmth. "You're beautiful," he mumbles.
"What?" You heard him but sometimes you just want to hear it again. To be sure, you know.
He smiles, scooting closer to you. "You're beautiful." He kisses your temple and his eyelashes brush against your skin.
"Don't fall asleep on me," you warn.
"I won't." He sits up straighter, adjusting himself, sinking into his pillow.
You turn your head and kiss his cheek. "You're beautiful too. I hope you know that."
"Well," he sighs, "you have good taste."
You giggle and turn your body to face him more. You take his hand and yours, wanting to convey a sense of seriousness. “Are you sure you’re okay with everything?”
He chuckles, finding your concern adorable. “Yes. I don’t need Gunner knowing how good I am in bed to know you love me.”
You slap his chest, pushing yourself away. “You’re so cocky.”
Alex rolls onto his back, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah? I thought that’s what you liked about me.”
“I’m partial to it.”
He looks over at you with a wide smirk. For now, you hope this is enough.
*
a/n: i kind of abandoned this series a while back but goblinontour reminding me of it brought this part on. i don't know if it's the end but here's a little something for now.
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thedgeoftheuniverse · 2 years ago
Text
Sinful.
Joel Miler x f!reader
word count: 2.5k
warnings: smut. literally just smut. minors DNI!!
a/n: i threw this together in all of 24 hrs, it is entirely unedited and i am still new to writing smut, pls be kind. any constructive criticism is welcomed and appreciated :))
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For now, you close your eyes. Death can have you another day.
Today, you are his.
Pale morning light flickered through broken blinds, illuminating the small apartment in a soft glow that momentarily tricked you into believing you were safe. The gunfire and screams of terror, just barely audible from outside of the room, reminded you that you are not. A cruel trick, one that seemed to have the same hold day after day, your sleep-addled brain never remembering the circumstances of your existence in its first moments of consciousness. You longed for a security that no longer existed outside of the arms of your lover and he was not there to wrap them around you.
Please don’t go.
You know I have to.
The cover of night protected him during his illicit activities, but did nothing for your peace of mind. You wanted him back, damning whoever had stolen him from you last night and forced you to awake in a cold bed. 
Sleep continued to cloud your brain, lulling you back into that false security you so desperately sought in the emptiness of the bedroom. It sang a lullaby to you that sounded vaguely like his voice—you could not put a descriptor to the sound of it, you only knew it reminded you of peace—a home you had forgotten about the existence of (it never forgot you). But the gunfire was too loud, the lullaby was drowned out and you were left with a cruel reminder of your reality. It filled your mouth with gravel, choking you as you desperately tried to push it down your throat. It seemed determined to suffocate you—a reminder that what once was, would never come again, and what is now will someday kill you.
For now, you close your eyes. Death can have you another day.
Today, you are his. 
He reminds you of this when he returns to you. Large hands wrap around your waist and pull you into the hardness of his chest as his nose nestles into the softness of your neck. 
“Missed you.” He whispers hot into the skin. His breath lit a fire inside of you, one that settled in the pit of your stomach and blossomed into something all too familiar. The smallest touch from him sends you reeling. His beard, rough against the tender flesh, heightened the sensation with the tinge of pain that it brought. You thought you could die in that moment and be the happiest woman to have ever lived. He proved you wrong with a slow roll of his hips, and hands moving to roughly grip your waist. He did not know gentleness. You will not find what you are looking for in his hands, but they hold more answers than you ever dream of finding. 
“You're late.” He never gave you a time of return, but he was apologetic nonetheless.
“Let me make it up to you.” He moved the hair obstructing the skin of your neck. His fingers tangled in the strands and offered a light tug that left you completely breathless. Chapped lips met velvet as he left open-mouthed kisses down the span of your neck. 
“And how do you think you're going to do that?” He was easy to rile up. He was hooked on you. You made the hydrocodone in his shirt pocket burn with jealousy. It knew it could never compare to the way your hips rolled against his, could never make him feel as blissful as you when you’re on your knees for him. He would never beg for his pills the way he begged for you.
Nothing could make him beg the way you do.
“Like this.” He whispers between his affections. Joel Miller is not an affectionate man, the last traces wiped out years before you had ever spoken his name or shared his bed, but he scrounged up what he was able for you. He would do anything for you. You had started as a means to an end—a quick release of tension, a quick fuck. When the tension was gone and you remained, he became enraptured. You had stayed long enough that he believed you were permanent. He watched you escape Death more times than he could count; he was almost foolish enough to believe that it could not catch you. It seemed more believable that you were inordinately lucky, but you being untouchable was easier to swallow than the fact that Death would one day steal you away from him.
His grinds into you, his hand tightening its grip on your waist until there are sure to be bruises left behind—a reminder of who you belong to, something he will not let you forget while he draws breath. He is the only man you would allow to leave a bruise on you and live to boast.
You would let Joel do anything he wanted to you.
The kisses that had originated on your neck began to trail down to your collarbones, your chest, in between your breasts, down the expanse of your stomach. He left behind splotches of purple to mark his descent down your body, his path of return clearly marked, all the way back to the lips that stole him from the painful reality he resided in. The scruff of his beard left a welcomed stinging sensation in its wake, a reminder that you are still human—a reminder of whose bed you are in, as if he would ever let you forget.
What Joel lacks in affection, he makes up for in patience. He likes to take his time with you, no matter how hard you plead for release. He thought you prettiest when you begged, when your body screamed with a thirst that only he could quench. While he wasted no time removing the clothes from your lower half that concealed you from him, he takes his time when you are exposed. He seems determined to draw it out today. He spent extra time in between your thighs, but not where you needed him. He left more purple—more evidence—on the insides of your thighs. It felt like a badge of honor. You intertwined yourself with the depths of Joel Miller and lived to tell the tale.
“This doesn’t feel like you're making it up to me.” You whisper as he wraps his arms around your thighs, holding you down to the bed. 
“I’m gettin’ to it.” He mutters, his head dipping between your thighs. One hand had vanished from your thighs, and moved to part your lips. He took a moment to marvel at your beauty before licking a bold stripe up your center. His tongue felt impossibly hot; you thought that you were going to burn alive from the inside as he added a moment of focus to your clit. It was begging for attention, begging for him, and who was he to further deny you the pleasure that you writhed for? His fingers toyed with your entrance while his tongue left behind kitten-like licks. He was still teasing, still trying to make you beg for the release you desperately craved.
“No, you’re teas—” His finger entering you stole away your words, a drawn out moan stealing their place. The stimulation was perfect, not enough, and too much. He always seemed just a moment too late to know what you wanted. You decided you could forgive him as the digit slowly pumped inside of you, further igniting the fire that raged in your gut; the flames tickled every nerve running from your spine and you were unable to speak. Joel nearly crumbled when he felt your velveteen walls surrounding the skin—he felt selfish for the ways he desires you. It felt almost tortuous to put his needs aside for yours, but the way you moaned and squirmed underneath him felt enough like repentance to do it without complaint. Your thighs clenching around his head, and hands in his hair made him eager to do it.
“What was that, darlin’? Couldn’t hear ya.” He barely parted from your lips to speak, and you think that he is too cocky for his own good. He knows every manner in which he can make you shatter, he uses it to his advantage, and he enjoys it—he enjoys having that control over your body. It was hard for you to blame him for it, knowing you felt the same when he was a panting, sweating, writhing mess underneath you; when you dangled pleasure on a stick in front of him and made him work towards it without it ever nearing the finish line until you finally decide to cut the string.
You know he is paying you back for it. No good deed goes unpunished—not if he has anything to say about it.
His finger never stopped working you over. Another digit was added, and he curled them to reach a devastating spot inside of you. It rendered you speechless, nothing more than a babbling mess as he increased his pace. When his mouth returned, you closed your eyes so tightly that stars danced in your vision—another reminder that the things you want will not come without a price. His digits pumped in and out of you at a relentless pace, never once losing rhythm, never giving you more than he was willing. Tonight, he is willing to give you everything—it makes you believe in God for just a moment, but you know he would never allow you something so pleasurable.
“Joel—” Your first discernible words. “Fuck— I’m gonna— Oh, God—” A prayer for something unholy to a God that you knew was not there. It was only him.
“Let it out for me.” It was the only instruction you needed. White-hot pleasure engulfed your entire being, your back attempted to arch off of the bed but was met with the resistance of Joel’s arm. You felt jolts of lightning surge through your body; the earth came to a halt and the only thing remaining was his right arm wrapped around your waist, and his left hand slowly working you through the blinding pleasure. Your thighs, still wrapped around him, began to slowly relinquish their hold as the final waves ebbed through your body, allowing him to once again breathe fresh air. The lower half of his face was damp with traces of your arousal, but he seemed unphased. 
He allowed you a moment to bask in the afterglow before he climbed back on top of you. The fact that he remained fully clothed was borderline offensive to you, so your hands found their way to the zipper of the denim that concealed him. It only took another moment before one found its way past the articles that obscured him from you.
“Someone’s eager.” He teases. He always fucking teases.
“That’s pretty bold.” You retort, your hand wrapping around the hardness of his length to punctuate your statement. It drew a sickeningly beautiful moan from his lips—it was nearly enough to send you over the edge again. “Considering you’re the one that climbed on top of me.”
Joel’s patience began wearing thin, and it showed in the way he hastily shoved off his jeans, his boxers following suit. They wound up in a crumpled pile on the bedroom floor, right beside yours. He never took his shirt off, feeling as though age had made his body inadequate and the softness of his stomach would lessen the intensity of the moment—he did not need any further reminders of the deteriorating state of his body. The way his right ear could not hear your moans in the manner it used to was enough, and he did not want you to remember that he was decaying. You already carried enough of him.
Something so sinful should not feel so holy.
He could not help the moan that escaped his lips as he pushed into you. The silk of your walls gripped his cock so beautifully—if Joel had to choose a place to spend the rest of his life, it would be here, in this bedroom, inside of you.
He knew he would not last long. His stamina was yet another reminder that his body was not what it used to be, but he swore that as long as he had hands, you would know what it meant to be satisfied. His pace was slow, but rough. He offered you no reprieve from the pleasure that consumed your body for a second time. You did not want it. You wanted him to take you how he needed, to have you in any way that made the voices shouting inside of his brain dull into a whisper, even if it was for only a second. You wanted to offer him bliss in whatever form he was able to accept it.
The slapping of skin, small grunts, and wetness squelching echoed in the bedroom. As each moment passed, the grunts turned into drawn out moans and Joel’s hips began to stutter. You knew he was close. He knew that you were as well, but not nearly as far gone as him. He remedied that by placing his hand in between your bodies—the new position caused his pace to falter more than what it already had, and his supporting arm shook underneath the added weight but he could not find the strength to care when your mouth fell open into an ‘O’ shape, and you whimpered—to rub your clit. The pressure was brutal, it shocked your body and pushed you closer to the edge of the cliff.
“Give me one more.” He whispered in your ear. “You can do it.”
His encouragement was all that you needed to dive head first into the waves of pleasure. It consumed every inch of you, and Joel took it as permission to chase his own release. His rhythm increased, working in double time, producing a symphony with the sounds that you ripped from his mouth—you had to do nothing to compose them. Bliss consumed him in the same way it did you. His body shook, his eyes were forced shut, and his mouth hung slightly open as he rode out the waves of his orgasm, fucking his spend into you. The sound it made should have been blasphemy, considering he was calling to God as though he was in the room.
He rested the full weight of his body on top of you, and the pressure grounded you as you struggled to make your way back to reality. “Am I forgiven?”
“I guess so.” You joke with him, and he scoffs as he rolls off of you. 
“‘Guess so,’ my ass.” He retorts.
The room returns to silence as you curl into his chest. The gunfire did not resume, nor did the screams and you are able to drift back into sleep with the knowledge that you are safe in your lover’s arms.
The room returns to silence as you curl into his chest. The gunfire did not resume, nor did the screams and you are able to drift back into sleep with the knowledge that you are safe in your lover’s arms.
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mysticalsoot · 10 months ago
Text
this will most likely be my genuine last and final time that I'm logging into this account.
i retract every fucking positive thing or statement I have ever made about wilbur soot. fuck him. i believed his manipulation, I believed he could be good. FUCK HIM.
i wish I never liked him, because I'm hurt. I can't look at him without wanting to scream in anger. his fucking statement/apology is shit. i expected better, but honestly what should I expect from a man? fuck him.
he's a manipulative fucking dickhead abuser and I'm ashamed of even believing that it couldn't be him. I'm ashamed and I'm hurt and I'm angry.
I'm pissed for how many people in his life he's hurt, I'm pissed for how many lives he's ruined, both those he knows and the people in his fanbase he's hurt.
he was my source of consistency, of comfort for four years. he and his content and band were there when my grandmother died, and the following weeks after that where my mother was 3 hrs from death. he was there through every ounce of loneliness, abuse, and trauma I endured and to find out he causes that to other people PISSES ME OFF.
you can say you told me so all you want, and yes you did. i needed hope, and the dots didn't connect to me. it's what he wanted, to lead us astray and believe he could be good. I'm sorry for everyone who's hurting, you're not alone and it's okay to grieve and hurt and be angry. it's okay to cry and scream and get pissed.
fuck wilbur soot.
I'll be leaving everything up, you can still read every fic I have. they were never written with this wilbur in mind, if that gives you any peace. every fic I've written has always had my DRs version of him, depending on the setting. so if that helps, there. @koithelittle will stay up as well, you can enjoy everything over there as well.
to any requests I haven't finished or posted, I'm sorry, I wish I didn't have to leave, but it's what I must do.
i have a new account and I won't be revealing the user name publicly but if you wish to follow me, you can dm me and I'll send it to you.
thank you for all you've given me here. for the love, the support, the community. I can't thank you enough. this account has given me friends, community and family and I am beyond thankful, but my time here is done. this account is tainted by a horrible person and I wish to be rid of him. this is about him, not you all.
i love you, stay safe, take care of yourself<3
- connor
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villainsimpqueen · 1 month ago
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Not Alone.
Adam x Sick! Reader (Gn)
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So this one shot is a little self centered. Its completely a Reader One shot, gender neutral.
It is Angst & Comfort
But everything the Reader Experiences is true symptoms & a true epsiode of a unoffical/Unknown diagnosis sickness that I am being seen by a specialist to find a possible diagnosis amd hopefully meds.
This is also about my bad epsiode from last night, and im still trying to mentally recover from it, and so i decieded to write.
I wrote this as a way to self comfort but also to confort anyone out there that has similar experiences and for them to know that.
Your Not Alone.
As always, All my works are 18 plus, no minors allowed.
And To anyone who reads/likes/reblogs/relates to this post, Your doing amazing, and your so strong.
To the one shot fic.
Heaven was supposed to be eternally peaceful, All those with pain, illness & sickness in their past life would face it no more in heaven. 
That was how it was intended to be. 
So when you had passed away and entered those pearly gates you had thought your own illness had too poofed away like the heavenly dream and promise should have been. 
But it didn't. 
Yours had followed you, clinging to you unwanted and despite many heavenly high angels coming to aid you, the sickness had stayed attached and clung to you despite it not being a thing of peace and tranquility. 
The high angels did their best to console you as you wept after your first bad episode of the persistent sickness that had followed in your devine afterlife. 
They didn't understand it as much as you didnt understand, but they consoled you trying to tell you that perhaps it was heaven's plan for you to continue on with it, That maybe you were the key to stop it from happening on earth or at least an aid in finding cures for earth. 
It was unfair. 
But you couldn't openly say that, and so you tried ignoring it as you tried finding work to do to occupy your mind, the less you thought of it the better for your mental state. 
It was in your official heavenly work records that it would be best if you did not have a super laborious job, and for some reason, the work division department decided to assign you as the First Man… Adam's Assistant was the perfect job for you. 
Your new boss was…..definitely labor intensive. 
He seemed to not understand the concept of paperwork leaving you to do piles and piles of backwork, reading and organizing reports, compiling and binding them and sending them all out. Top of that the man did not seem to understand that his flirting, pick up lines and continuous offers to “treat you to dinner” was uninvited and unwelcome. 
You would have thought after the third kind no, and afterwards the short and curt blatant rejections to all his advances would have the Man gone and uninterested in you. 
But oh were you so wrong, if anything it only drove him to up his belt at flirting, and all that much to your displeasure. He always seemed to know where you were in the office and whether it was a door frame, fridge, table, desk he would lean or perch against it to start up his flirting. 
“Heya babes you free later tonight?”
“Whatsa man gotta do to get your number?” 
“Your looking fucking hot today, like always babes.” 
“If I had to pick you or an apple, it would be that fine ass anyday.” 
You hated how the last one had made you snort. It was so stupid, That it actually had made you laugh and you had regretted it when you saw the first man's masked eyes crinkle and sharp toothed grin only widened, which had made you immediately shot back.
“go choke on an apple Adam.” 
Before you fled the break room with your cup of coffee, warm in your hands, you had heard the man make a noise similar to amusement and he had shouted after you.
“Did that Babes, would rather choke on your instead. “ 
“I'm filing another HR report.”
“Ouuu Spicy!” 
You never knew you would be so grateful for him always appearing out of nowhere until now. 
You had been taking reports somewhere when you felt your body's red flags start to fly. 
Your vision of the office hall growing longer and shorter. Your breathing started to pick up and yet slowed down as your head started to feel like it was fading. Thoughts become hard to formulate  and your legs grow weaker with a tingling numbness that starts to rapidly climb. 
You had leaned against a wall trying to relax, trying to breathe, as time seemed to freeze and slowly tick away as you struggled to keep your eyes open. 
Your breaths heavily leave you as you begin to feel light and yet so heavy as you felt the tremors start to shake internally and knew it wouldn't be long before they showed outwardly. 
It was going to be a bad one. 
You dreaded as your mouth started to go dry, and tingled with a cold sensation before it started to taste as if you bit into a raw steak. 
The metalic taste of dirty pennies feels in your mouth as if your body's iron had decided to gather and party into your mouth all at once. 
Your ears began to ring and tingle as your hearing like your vision started to fade away and echo making things far sound near and things near sound far away. 
How long were you there for? How long since it started? 
You were going to fall. You were going to fall and you can't move to catch yourself! 
Your gonna- 
“You good babes?” Adams voice cut through the internal trapped dialog of your brain and ass your flicked your non stop fluttering eyes trying to see him, your vision being blurry and yet hyper focus at the same time as his voice echoed no stop in your ears far away and yet close you didn't even know how long it had been since he had asked. 
Your brain constantly jumps forward and yet lagging severely behind as your jaw and mouth muscles spasmed as you fought trying to open your mouth but couldn't. 
You can't move. 
And your going to fucking fall and collapse and fall on your face and you cant move. 
“You ain't gonna pass out on my babes are you?” Adams words echoed sounding near and far as you felt pressure start to take over your body, your gravity being utterly ripped apart as the Episode sunk its teeth and claws into with a vicious grin and glint in its eyes as you felt your eyes start fluttering and body start to fall back into the wall.
“Ah shit. Nope, Nope, easy down you go.” 
Hands grabbed at your shoulders, sending jolts through your entire body focusing into your numbed and useless legs as the hands led you down the ground safely, moving you carefully onto your back, a hand holding your head from the floor until it made contact with something hard yet soft. 
The need to talk burned through you but your jaw would correspond with your wishes. 
Your eyes burn even when closed, tears don't need a conscious thought to form as your eyes flutter open and close talking in nothing but the harsh lighting, black and sparkling spots that dance across your eyes as you struggle to breathe. 
When was your last breath? When did you breathe?! 
Something moving through your hair sent more jolts through your frozenly stiff and limp body. 
“It's okay babes. You okay..I got you, just breathe for me okay? Just breathe.”
The voice echoed in and out if your ears as your eyes fluttered shut the trembles coming out of you starting with in and making its way out as the numbing pains started to take hold into your legs. 
Tears streaming from your eyes as your jaw keeps tightening and loosening. 
Hell, this was hell. 
You were having a good day, today was a good day, so why? why? 
“Just let it out babes, you're okay, just breathe, I'm here, I got you.”
“Im….sor…ry” You managed to barely get out as your mind fogged once more and body stole away the ability to speak once again locking your jaw as your tremors  became more casing your chest to heave as your struggled to take each breath. 
You felt like you were dying. 
Are you dying this time? Which breath would be your last? 
Would you have to feel yourself suffocate slowly while you couldn't move? 
“Don't say that shit, You dont have a thing to be sorry for, i got you, just breathe Darlin.” 
Fingers moved through your hair feeling like they were going to split your head and skull right open. 
It was painful as much as it was comforting. 
Your hearing started ringing again you could hear muffled echoed voices, your brain struggling to put pieces together and when you could finally open your eyes again you saw bits and pieces of Adams face, and another, a woman.
You struggled to recognize her for a moment. 
Lute. 
“Sir I brought the wet cold towels and water as you stated, what else can I do to help.” 
They were helping you? 
They weren't going to leave you? 
More tears moved down your cheeks, they felt so cold, you felt so cold, you felt like you were on fire. 
“Thisbis all we can do, There body has to work it out on its own, I got this okay Just close off the Hall, dont allow any fuckers in. Give them privacy. I got this…Hey babes, I got you…Fuck your burning up..hey hey its okay breathe for me okay? soft breaths” 
Your eyes fluttered back close, involuntary jerking as something freezing surrounded your forehead making you out a noise of pain as you felt like daggers scratching and piercing your frontal skull dance around. 
Another when another cold thing shoved behind your neck right against your brain stim. 
The tremors worsen as you fight to breathe. You didn't need to hear them, you could tell each struggling inhale and shaky exhale was raspy as if it was a death rattle. 
Warmth covered your hands, making the tremors only worsen and the numbing splitting pain shot through your arms and into your legs making you clench your teeth and cry more. 
This is humiliating. 
“Fuck your hands are like ice…Hold on…” 
Rustling fabrics heard and your eyes tried finding it behind your closed eyelids, you couldn't open them as the lighting behind your eyelids were so bright and pure white you were sure if you opened them you wouldn't have vision at all. 
Something so unbearably heavy covered you, making you jolt and twitch, Your chest wracking as you struggled to breathe more gasping, gasping for air. 
“It's okay, let it out, I have you, you're doing so good.”
You're doing so well. 
How such words utterly broke you as you sobbed between broken gasps for air, the tremors bringing nothing but agony as your body felt like it was being electrocuted internally. 
“I…m…sorry.” 
It was the only thing you could raspily push out as you suffered trapped in your own flesh and bone as the very vessel you care and tended for failed you and imprisoned you. 
Allowing this greedy sickness to steal your life from you. 
Hands holding your head on the hard yet soft thing.
“Are they conscious?!” A voice echoed, sounding so far away. 
“Yes they're just in and out, they're okay. The report said this happens. We just gonna stay nice and calm and chill..They can hear us…aint that right babes? You just can't talk right now and that's okay. Just breathe, you're doing such a good job.” Adams comforting concerned words echoed each one fading in and out of your hearing as your brain tried to associate meaning.
How long has it been? It feels like years, god what if it was years. 
You couldn't tell how long you were there, how much time had passed as you suffered in forced silence.
“You want some water?” 
Yes. 
Yes you wanted water, that sounds so divine. 
Water to wash away the blood taste in your mouth? You needed it more than anything. 
Your throat and Jaw and tongue are failing you, making some strangled noses as you fight your body to try to move. 
You wanted to sob when you felt a hand move under your head and tilt it to the side, something pressed to your parted lips and cold, precious water slowly trickling in. 
Each small and allowed sip Adam had given you felt like a life line as if life was being allowed back into your husked of a useless failing body. 
You only had a couple of sips before your head was moved back and a hand found its way back to your hair. 
“That's it…We will try again in a moment.” 
That moment will feel like centuries. 
But as promised Adam provided you little sips of water, let you rest and breath for a moment and then continue the repeated steps. 
Over time you would finally, Finally, feel your body to allow you full utter consciousness. 
Becoming more aware as you flutter your eyes open slowly being allowed vision again with nothing obstructing your viewing privileges. 
You could see the lights of the hallway, the walls, how high they looked when you were forced to the ground. You took in soft golden eyes, not led lighted lines but real golden eyes. Tanned dark skinned face, with a stubbly chin of facial hair and the fluffiest and curly hair you ever seen with the strongest cowlick possible. 
Your brain struggled for a few moments before understanding that this was Adam. And that Adam was not wearing that strange mask thingy. 
As if seeing your sudden spurt of Alertness Adams golden eyes filled with relief, a soft encouraging smile forming on his real natural lips as he looked down at you.
“There you are.” He speaks softly as if he was so utterly proud of you.
There you are. 
You cried, you couldn't help it, all you could do was cry as you felt the numbness leave your body slowly, Adam only offered soft words. 
Soon With his help, You was able to sit up, feeling your head go light and foggy to slowly clearing as He offered you water.
“You can't come down this hall, find another route.” Lute's voice echoed down the hallway to you, making you too embarrassed but grateful. 
At least no other coworkers saw you collapsed and paralyzed on the floor. 
“I know you probably wanna be a bad bitch and all independent n all, but like, Can I fly you home, just to be sure you're safe?” Adam asked gently, something in his voice that caught your attention. 
You assessed your wings and took into account how they felt so utterly weak, there was no way you were flying. And how your legs still felt useless when you gave him a weak smile.
“I couldn't walk if I wanted to.” You told him and Adam moved, His arms finding way under your knees and around your back to effortlessly pick you up with ease.
It made you really take in just how Large he really was. 
Adam was practically a giant and sometimes it was hard to get that with all the slouching and leaning on things it's easy to forget
 that Adam was pushing twelve feet tall..
“Don't worry I got you, just relax babes.” Adam told you and for once you did, melting into his arms in relief as he moved out to a flying window and took off, His golden wings stretching out widely as they cut through the air with ease, Rotating and flapping when needed as he carried you in his thick yet strong arms. You stared at his face realizing Adam left his mask behind in the hallway and you couldn't help but notice how alluring Adam really was. 
“You want me to stop and grab you some food so you can just relax in bed or something?” Adam softly asked his golden eyes moving to land on you making you realize you had stared at him for a moment. 
“Uh..No i'll just order in.” You told him,You already felt like a burden enough, you didn't need to add onto it. 
Adam looked like he wanted to protest, but as he stared at your face you watched as it died immediately and he focused on getting you to your home. 
“You know where I live?” You asked after a few minutes as if it dawned on you.
“I know where all my Employees live Including an emergency contacts.” He states a serious note in his tone as he keeps his eyes ahead.
“Just like I knew how to aid you, I read all my Employees files. Shits are important like allergies in shit, I make sure everyones good..” 
You didnt..You didn't really expect this level of responsibility maturity  from Adam. You always thought he was just some Ass who wanted to sleep around…..which you were sure he still was but maybe not that much of an asshole. 
Soon he was landing on your house's landing dock. He walked inside your home holding you.
“So erm…, ya bed or couch?” He asked that change in his tone still ringing in your ears, yet it wasnt pity or any of that, more so like he was genuinely trying to be serious. 
You kinda miss one of his crude jokes. 
“My couch is fine.” You tell him and he took you to the couch settling you down easily before he kinda stared at you.
“Welp, see ya when you're ready to work again, text me if ya can't or if ya need anything and i gotcha.” He said before waving awkwardly at you and heading out to your house's loading dock. 
You watched him a thank you falling from your lips as you stared blankly at the tv, a hand grabbing your phone as you could hear Adams Wings spread outside. 
Your fingers tapping away at a screen and before you heard him launch up into the sky. a ringing sounded. 
You heard rustling from his pockets knowing he checked his phone, A noise leaving him before he was back in your house and on your couch, you turned on the Tv as he plopped on the other side of your couch. 
When you turned you saw how bright his g9lden eyes were, gleaming a wide excited smile on his face, his phone in his hand.
“Course I'll watch a movie with a baddie like you, what kind of ribs do you eat?”
_____Bonus______
Phone
Contact: Dumbassmcgee. (Adam)
(xxx) xxx-xxxx
Adam a previous date: Meeting at 9, be there
Adam a previous date: Wanna grab lunch afterwards? 😏🍕🌭
               I'll be there: You, a previous date
                
               No thanks.: You, a previous date
Adam, a previous date: Offer still stands Hottie 🙊
Trip and fall (Censored emoji): You, a previous date 
Adam, a previous date: LMAO LAME ASS KEYBOARD!! 🤣🤣🤣
Adam, A previous date: Here 🖕🖕🖕
                     Thanks.: You, a previous date.
                      🖕🖕🖕: You, a previous date.
 
Hey to not be a burden anymore than i have…..Do you By chance wanna stay and watch a movie. 🥺👉👈 Friends of course! 🧍‍♀️.                            : You now
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