#i am not comparing the color of my skin with yours to find a difference

[rgbwings]

So, you don't believe in races, as like, a social construct to separate people based on skin color and where you were born, because racism is the hate of all races that aren't your own, and "race" can be a blanket term for both skin color and ethnicity, but race can also be a quick way to say "I wasn't born here." So the term isn't inherently bad, i just want to specify, do you not believe in races due to the social construct aspect, or just refusing to acknowledge races as a general thing? And no I'm not trying to start anything, im just a little confused about this, the context is lacking...

I can try to summarize this with my poor English:

It's a fabricated thing to categorize people and empower groups! In the 16th century, when race was first conceptualized, the "white saint" (white European) was thought to be smarter, more civilized and therefore superior in comparison to other "types" of people by "default". At first Christianity justified this by saying the white European is closer to God:

It started as a tool to justify european superiority, the white skinned, civilized man of God. Pure and right. (Christianity began depicting angels, saints and Jesus as white, blonde, blue/green eyes europeans.)

Later on, people began assimilating that concept in a deeper way, thinking that the Ethiopian is enslaved and exploited because that's how things are naturally. Colonies were a thing also, cementing this idea further.

And Darwinism made all of this even worse. It's when very smart people would compare the skull of a chimpanzee with the one of a black person, thinking "damn... so the Caucasian is evolved! Now it all makes even more sense!"

Historically, previous to the 16th century people would not use the word race to classify people, but ethnicity, religion, beliefs. Race is a very recent thing and it all started with the necessity of allowing the European to do whatever they wanted with others. Race didn't only make them feel inherently superior, but also convinced the people, of different skin color or features, to believe that they are different.

And I'm very against this! not only races aren't real in a scientific point (genetically we are NOT that different to be classified in such way), them were invented to divide people, to oppress, and to make you believe that whatever good or bad thing happens to you is because of an inherited right or curse.

And this is something that I want to end, somehow, because I come from a man who was a Nazi.

[just-a-ghost00]

The reason why they fell so hard.

Images found on Pinterest. Each spread consists of 5 cards. The messages will be written as if it were from the POV of the person you were asking about.

Group 1

9 of pentacles, queen of swords, 9 of swords, 5 of swords, the Sun

You're so freaking addictive. Every time you push me away, I can't help but to love you more. I was just raised that way. I was taught to work hard for what I wanted. I was taught that love should be deserved and was not to be messed with. I was taught that caring was fighting. Fighting for the sake of those you love. Fighting against those you love. I know, I was not raised in the best conditions. I know, I may not know what love is. But I know that I want you. And that, neither of us can deny. I fell for you because you never let me have my ways. You call me out and push me to be better. You never need me. You never wait for me. You just are. And you are perfect. Everything about you is rock solid. I don't have to worry whether you're gonna make it out. Because I know whether I'm here or not, you'll make it to the top. You did not wait for me to be who you are and that won't change. Whether I'm around or not, you're still gonna slay. And to know that someone so strong cares about me fills me with pride and desire. You got under my skin. Even if I wanted to push you away, I couldn't. You're everything I see. All I think about. Every decision I make is tainted in your color. Your warmth has penetrated through the cracks of my walls and now I cannot help but to seek for their comfort. I was alone. I was cold. I felt scared and misunderstood. I was tired. So exhausted of having to work so hard only to be met with silence. I struggled so hard to be where I am. The road to success is lonely, I've been told. Though I knew it, I couldn't help but to hope that I would find people along the way who would be there through thick and thin. But there were none. And then you came in. And everything changed. My sky is clearer because you chased the storm. How could I not fall for you after all?

Complementary information : this person is first and foremost attracted to your mindset as proven by the fair amount of sword cards in the spread. They may be a sapio sexual. If you tend to be considered the brains of your friend group, then this is one of the reasons why this person is head over heals for you. Another thing I'm strongly picking up on is sarcasm. You may not hold your tongue in presence of this person. You may tease them a lot or downright mock them when they're being rude or acting silly. There may not be a lot of people around this person that dare talk back to them. But you do. Somehow this shows this person that you are someone they can count on. Another important factor is your independence and your abundance. If you have your own business or you are a very active person, you make your own revenue and are able to provide for yourself and your family, then this person is in awe of your success. Even more so if you happen to be popular among your peers. You leave a very good impression on this person because of how serious and dedicated you are to yourself, your work, of how straightforward and fair you can be with others. You have a very strong moral code that gets this person weak in their knees. Your generosity may also touch them deeply. If we're talking about physical aspects of you, what stands out to me is that you may look very youthful and bright compared to other people. That may be true especially if you have a style that is a stark contrast from the rest of your circle. Or at least you're very different from what this person is used to. You represent some kind of extraordinary factor in their life. For instance, if this person has always lived in one city and in this place they only see very skinny and pale people but you are a bit chubby and of a darker skin tone, you will automatically strike this person right away. This person seems to be attracted to what is different from them. You represent the unknown, adventure. That may be very electrifying to them. There may be a bit of fetichism hiding under all that attraction.

Group 2

Ace of pentacles, Wheel of fortune, Magician, 3 of cups, 2 of cups

You took my breath away. The moment I met you, I knew I had to have you. You became as essential to me as oxygen in a matter of seconds. It's not just because of your beauty, your grace, the way you talk or cary yourself. It's about how perfect our meeting was, how in a heartbeat you became the answer to all of my prayers. I didn't know I needed you until I laid eyes on you and God do I feel thankful for being able to experience this. I feel so lucky being with you. It's like you're every one of my dreams come true. You're smart, patient, kind, loving, generous. You never bring me down. You never ask of me more than I can give. You never give me more than I can chew. You're always so fair and just. You just have that magic to you that I can explain. It's like someone has casted a spell and now all I can see and think of is you. To be honest, I wouldn't mind you casting a spell on me if that meant that I got to be with you for the rest of my life. You're so fun to be around. So chill. I just feel so good with you. Our dynamic is perfect. We match like to puzzle pieces. Made for each other. I'm sure fate has a lot to do with this. You were my destiny. I'm sure of it. Our meeting was no coincidence. I mean, you came in at the perfect time and the perfect place! If that's not destiny, I don't know what is.

Note from reader : this person's energy is so sweet omg they're just in awe of you. I get a very flirty energy from them. I got the message that they were especially drawn to your lips and hips. I heard "hips don't lie" lmao They think you're their Shakira. This person likes to tease apparently. For some I'm getting that you're a witch or you're into the occult arts like tarot and such. This person may tease you about this but they have nothing against it. It's just something they find hard to believe. But when they see you they can't help but to question everything they think they know. They legit think that you put a spell on them because of that. This person is aware that you use tarot as a way to manifest. They feel intrigued by that. You intrigue them more than you will ever know. I get a lot of sexual energy coming from this person, though the cards don't show it as much. However, I'm picking up on the fact that your person may be in a third party situation. Or at least, they were when you first met. What could have contributed to their attraction for you was the fact that you represented a way out.

Group 3

The Emperor, 3 of cups, The Empress, The Lovers, Judgement

Babe, can't you tell? How could I not fall for you? My princess. My love. You are gorgeous. Gorgeous in every way, as if God himself made sure that your creation would be a success. You are wife material. You are THE woman. Everything about you makes me go crazy. I want to protect and love you with all my might. You are my equal. My other half. The Yin to my Yang. Even if I wanted to hate you, I just couldn't. We're so good together. There isn't even a need to question or doubt it. It makes perfect sense to me that we should be together. You are an absolute queen. You are fierce, strong, independant. You value yourself without bringing others down. You stay true to your word and your principles. You've never been disrespectful to any body. You've built yourself up so brilliantly. You are smart and observant. You always know what to do, what to say, when to talk and when to remain silent. You are perfectly balanced and mature. Your life and accomplishments are the solid proof of your authenticity and worthiness. You are popular, admired among your peers. I always hear such good things about you. How could I not love every part of you? How could I disregard such a gorgeous being? That would be foolish of me. To me, our love is as obvious as the sun rising each moring and the moon shining in the night sky.

Note from reader : if this person hasn't asked you out already, I think they're going to do so soon. And let me tell you, they're no joke. They want to wife you up ASAP. My appologies to gentlemen and non binary people, as the channeled message mainly mentioned women. I feel like even though the message was written this way, the general content still applies to you. If you or this person is a Taurus or an Aries, this is your sign that you picked the right group. Gemini and Scorpio could also be relevant. What this person loves the most about you is your body. I'm hearing Ed Sheeran's song in my head. This person feels a strong magnetic pull towards you that they just cannot resist no matter how hard they try. They've expressed the fact that your personality and ethic is what got them going, but I think what drew them in first were your looks. I'm especially picking up on your curves overall and your sense of fasion. You looked very balanced to this person. And very mature. From first glance they thought "this person knows what they're doing". It's like they thought you purposefully matched certain clothes together because you knew how good it made you look. And looking at you they thought that you would make a good team. After all, this person is represented as the Emperor and you are the Empress. So they may be into fashion as well. Maybe they're the kind to wear couple outfits. And when they met you they immediately pictured you together because your style matched theirs.

[eaudera]

eaudera's detailed tutorial for skin rendering

okay loves i've put together a tutorial in text form detailing my step by step process of shading darker skin + the brushes and techniques I use and why I use them. you will be following along as we shade a piece together, you can find the lineart to the piece here. *turn off your true tone and night shift displays for the most objective viewing.

i wrote a lot on the preview pictures, if you find spelling errors (which you def will) or are unable to read my handwriting, you'll find the typed out version of the writing in the alt text feature.

disclaimer: i'm not an art professor nor am i academically/classically trained in art. a lot of the verbiage and techniques i'm using to teach you all here are from my current self taught and observed understanding of art, light, and anatomy

support me: kofi / ig / twt / commissions

firstly, here are my two staple brushes. you can find the second brush here, i modified it by making it larger.

the lineart brush is very good for easy sketching and simultaneously cleaning up that sketch to produce the final lineart you'll be using in your piece. the diffusion from the erased parts/the diffusion created by lowering the pressure of your pen creates a light graphite effect which i enjoy! give it a shot.

you'll notice quickly that there are lighter strokes throughout this lineart, these are simply acting as rendering guides for me in order to remember certain placements. i erase/draw over these lines a lot.

i initially learned to shade skin on a completely grey background with very slight orange undertones, and for a while this was very helpful in providing the most objective view of the base colors you're using (objective as in free of being effected by colors of different values). as you might know, using a white background for dark skin will seemingly darken the value and dim the vibrancy of your base colors, and using a black background will do the opposite. if you're using a darker skin tone, you want your canvas shade to be of a value that is proportional to your skin tone to avoid the same problems created by colors with too light or dark of a value. now if you're using a screened device to draw, you have the extra burden of screen reflections/wavering color output on different screens, so you're never really sure if the exact color you're using will be consistent across the board. priming your canvas with neutral colors will help with that. whereas priming with more vibrant colors will slightly change the undertone of your skintone (especially if you're using a low opacity brush), but it makes for a funner canvas and more creativity with your color palette imo. if you're a beginner i recommend you stay below the wavy line to avoid too light of a canvas shade.

for these same reasons i avoid keeping my lineart jet black. when you lay down the base colors under a black lineart it can look very unfavorable.

here are some skin tone variants that i tend to use the most, peep how i never wander off too far to the left of the spectrum where the reds are. i definitely favor red-oranges as compared to green-oranges for my skin tones, however, because i stay primarily on the left side of the color spectrum for my rendering, red can quickly become too much too fast. so i make sure to use a skin tone that can work very well with green-orange shadows. for this specific piece i will use the third shade (#2d1606).

heres where the gouache brush comes in handy. i use it very loosely to "prime" the canvas almost. if you've ever done oil painting you'll realize very few artists draw directly onto a completely white canvas, though i've already primed my canvas essentially by changing the background color, i loosely shade over it with the skin tone color using the gouache brush. i find this gives me a better grasp on the composition of the piece due to increased harmony between the canvas and the skin color. it also looks really cool to me and resembles a real canvas almost.

as stated before, priming your canvas with neutral colors (grey) can help give you a more consistent view of your base colors, when you get the hang of understanding the colors you most often use (i.e, how they interact with other colors), you can start using more vibrant and fun colors to color your canvas with! the gouache brush changes opacity depending on the pressure exerted by the pen, if you zoom in you'll notice patchy areas where the canvas color bleeds through the layer more prominently than it does in other areas. for some people this might throw off the consistency of the shadows, but you should be fine as long as you're using a consistently opaque brush (which we will be doing)

i know i recommended beginners use a grey canvas like i did, but since this tutorial is using my techniques i figured i'd also teach you guys how to use variantly opaque brushes to your advantage. we will be drawing on the pink canvas from here on out.

a reference is so helpful, i still rely on references to guide my shadows/lights. i'm past the point of relying on references for exact coordinates for rendering or lineart, but they are still incredibly helpful. in most references of darker skintones you come across, color dropping directly from the picture will give you very grey colors! we want to prioritize vibrancy in this case, so attempt to formulate your own colors or colordrop and increase the vibrancy :)! keep in mind i'm now using the lineart brush to shade. the diffuse/soft corners of this brush allows fewer pixels to be scattered wherever you lessen the pressure, this is perfect for color dropping medium colors to blend two colors together. you'll see how i blend colors later on.

as mentioned previously, red can become too much too fast- so i avoid monochrome rendering as much as possible by using shadows of different undertones. my most frequent combination is using a red-orange skin tone and then using a green-orange shadow.

the value spectrum will be your best friend in mixing values and undertones, i use it all the time to formulate the best less saturated darker shadow that is proportional (not too dark, not too grey) to my skintone value. if the shadow is too green simply increase the magenta, if you're looking for a "reflective" shadow, increase the blue.

when i begin shading, i always slide the curser to a truer orange color on the spectrum and increase the saturation (slide towards the right) while i decrease the brightness (slide down). heres how it looks when i'm jumping between shadows and highlights while trying to keep my colors proportional (but not identical) to whats happening in the reference ^. i most often times will rely on the value tool, however.

you will notice that a lot of darker skin tones have patches of orange vibrancy, these areas are most common on the nose and cheeks. this is only a detail to pay attention to if you're going for more of a realism rendering style :)

now onto how i prefer to bridge/blend colors together by utilizing the blend tool.

i do not like simply blurring colors in order to blend colors together, it can lead to overblending which can make your portrait look heavily gaussian blurred (think 2010 deviantart art... yea that). the brilliant thing about procreate is you can utilize brushes really efficiently, which include changing the brushes you use for blending. so in reality, artists who use the blending tool on its own can still have portraits that don't look it! there also exists plenty of brushes that have properties allowing it to blend into its surrounding colors are you draw. but in my case, the above photo is 99% of the times how i will bridge two colors together. doing this allows me to keep pretty consistent brushstrokes across the whole portrait, which i enjoy. it also gives me better control of the shapes i use in my rendering, an aspect that is pretty easy to lose when you're using the blending tool directly and solely.

in case the blending process is a bit hard too see, heres that same process recreated with different more visible colors:

now once you've placed your shadows where they generally tend to be (according to the reference photo), let's make those shapes a bit more specific and pick up on smaller details to make your rendering look more complete.

your base colors will never be as dark or as light as you need them to be when you begin rendering, making sure you have a decent contrast between your lightsource highlights and the shadows is key to capturing the essence of a light being cast on your character. it's much easier to keep building upon your shadows before rendering the highlights, i laid down the highlights only to create a guide/help me map my shadows better. do not darken the entirety of the areas affected by shadow, you'll find that shadows are rarely ever the same value, it's a gradual process affected by things like position, height, etc. so make sure the darkest of your shadow colors are preserved only in areas where the shadows are the or should be the darkest.

you'll notice i labeled some areas as "detail", adding very specific shadow placements is a detail. in the reference, the model has a pretty prominent brow bone, creating a shadow over where his eyelid creases just above his lash line, paying attention to feature details like this help enhance the rendering and its realism.

now that i've mapped my shadows i'm going to move onto to rendering my highlights and the region of the face where the lightsource is most prominent.

i described shadows as a gradual process earlier, this is because of the lightsource. light tends to spread when its further from the affected surface, creating a larger area affected by the light. of course, this varies depending on how intense and how close/far the light source is. in this case, the light is being casted above him further to the other side of his face, but again, remember that the face is not 2d and more prominent areas are affected more by light. it's due to this that there still exists a, albeit very minimal, shadow beneath his cheekbone. i exaggerate the shadow here for stylistic purposes, but it also helps in keeping me uphold that contrast between the highlight and shadow once again. so i refrain from blending the light into this area like i did in other areas.

midtones are the areas most unaffected by the light source, they're neither shadows nor highlights. and because light spreads, it is brighter in certain areas and darker in others. it is most easiest to blend the darker ends of the highights into the midtones of your portrait. you can emulate this by once again using your blend tool. blend the outer areas of the light and colordrop this color and use it as the darker light more proportional to the midtones. note that before i add even lighter shades to the areas where light is most concentrated, i blend what highlight placements i currently have there.

we're going to switch gears now and focus on the reflective shadow occurring on the darker half of his face.

this shadow is a reflection from the lighter background the model is up against, the light being casted above him is allowing for some bounce back from his surroundings, leading to very faint light visible in areas primarily affected by shadows. hence why i'm referring to these colors as "reflective shadows".

in this case, the reflective shadows are blue, or appear to our eyes as blue. on darker skin, "true" blues (blue-purple) are not often times present. what is present rather, is a very grey tone with cool undertones/a grey tone on the blue side of the spectrum, which creates a blue that is much more proportional to the value of the skintone than a true blue. in this case i used a deeper grey on the pink color spectrum, which is more purple. this was intentional, and was done in order to create some sort of color harmony between the contrasted deep oranges im using for the bordering shadows and the blue-grey i'm attempting to emulate.

while i utilize this blue-grey, out've a purely stylistic choice, i still introduce true blues to my rendering. in fact i love using blue/purple reflective shadows in my art, it creates a stunning and colorful render. in this case, i used the blue-grey as a stepping stool to introduce that trueer blue more naturally. you'll see this happening in the second picture above, where i used a slightly more vibrant and slightly more brighter blue, and used it on areas where this reflection was more prominent (and therefore brighter).

you'll notice how the shadows that border on these reflective colors are less saturated and darker than the shadows on his chin. introduce a darker and less saturated (more green) shadow to that area on his cheek and the darkest shadow of this photo, the sunken area near his nose bridge and inner eye corner. i emphasize this line in the lineart so you can follow this shadow more accurately:

this is also a detail in my opinion and can make your portrait more realistic if you include.

we're going to pivot to his neck area before continuing. you'll find the area of his neck with the most light is also the least vibrant, i laid down a grey base color to emphasize this detail in the portrait. afterwards i added key details. i wanted to stay at least somewhat true to the color dynamics occurring in the reference hence why i used the grey, but i'm not a very big fan of using blatant grey directly on the skin, so i made it more blue.

moving forward, the outer eye and the nose can be some of the most "detail focused" areas of the face when it comes to rendering. due to their more "bulbous" anatomy, light tends to curve around them in more complex ways than the flatter parameters of the face.

when it comes to the many creases that surround the eye, the skin folding over itself creates a very thin shadow from between the folds. the key to rendering this crease is to concentrate the blending to a very small scale, do not overblend the area because the hill created by the crease very easily captures light, creating an area where the shadow and highlight meet in very close proximity. slight blending is needed for this area, you can deepen the shadows in both horizontal corners of the eye for more accuracy. the midsection of the total eye area (eyeball and socket) tends to capture the most light, remember this is due to how bulbous rounder shapes tend to capture light from whichever direction its coming from.

this is of course the case for the nose as well. highlights are typically placed as a dot on the outermost part of the nose by artists, but highlights also spread on either side of the tip of the nose. the nose tends to collect a lot of oil, creating a sort of sheen on the upper parts of the nostril. when rendering a portrait where the position of the head is more cast to the side, the highlight of the nose changes from the bulb of the nose, to the upper nostril. in this case, the highlight spreads, causing a "half tone", or the remnants of the light on the bulb of the nose. this is the easiest place to blend highlights and shadows together. now for the shadow detailing on the nose, i'm actually drawing on top of the lineart on a separate layer. which i'll go into detail about in the next part. you want to focus the shadow on where your lineart is, the outermost part of the nose.

now were going to really detail your portrait by introducing a new layer, the detail layer! this isn't technically apart of the skin rendering, so i'm gonna keep it very brief. this is the layer you're going to render the lips, eyeballs, and eyebrows. more specifically, the purpose of this layer is to reduce the reliance on lineart. in terms of order, it goes above the lineart layer. we're going to soften and even erase the lineart in certain aspects. i use bolder/thicker lines when creating my lineart, but this can become a nuisance/hinderance when rendering.

starting out with the lips:

people w brown skin tend to have two toned lips, with the top lip resembling the same skin tone as the face and the bottom lip being redder/pinker and lighter than the upper lip. in my case, i prefer a more vibrant red for the bottom lip. once i lay down these base colors, i begin shading on the second layer.

i personally enjoy the look of a poutier lip shape, this includes emphasizing the middles of the lips as opposed to the ends. i've highlighted the shapes that this lip shape often entails. the small circles on the corner of the lip line are just pockets that occur when the mouth is closed and become emphasized by the fat around the mouth. the parameters of the lip lines do not often meet these round corners, theres often times a "double lip line", that exists around these areas. i love including that in the art, its very easy to emphasize by simply drawing a highlight from the corner of the lips along the curvature of the bottom lip towards the middle.

shadow mapping on the lips tend to go: highlight, shadow, highlight, shadow. the top lip going inward creates a highlight on the most outward part: the top of the lip. and the bottom lip curving outward thus creates a shadow on the bottom of the lip.

when it comes to the eyeball, i don't draw the white parts as solid white, nor do i make them too bright most of the time. they're most often times an orange grey, i also dont spread this color out if you can notice the uncolored white part of the eye. i do this intentionally to keep some of the shadows that are naturally present on the eye. very specifically right where the upper eyelid sits on the eyeball, it tends to create a small shadow that follows the curvature of the eye. this shadow is crucial, if you can see the first and second picture do not have this shadow, making the iris look more exposed and the eye appears to be held wider.

when it comes to the iris, i do very little. if i'm drawing a dark colored eye i will cover the entire iris brown, before darkening it with an almost black color. i leave the brown sides of the iris exposed to aid in bridging the values between the whiter parts of the eye and the very dark iris. this blended ring also appears on all eyes in real life. lastly, dark eyes tend to show light reflections much easier than lighter eyes. these reflections can be any color in art, in this case i kept it blue-green. i bend these reflections around where the pupil would most likely be depending on the drawing.

next, the eyebrow. i find it tedious to draw individual eyebrow strands when it comes to rendering, i actually prefer to blend the parameters of the eyebrows to create cohesiveness. sparse and fine eyebrow hairs are penetrated by light and shadows more than what you'd find on the scalp. it's harder to see light on someones scalp due to the bulk of hair crowding the scalp, whereas as its easier to see such light on the eyebrow. to introduce this concept to my art, i will initially draw the entire shape of the brow. then when rendering, i erase the parameters, leaving the darkest part of the brow. then i blend. the lower brow bone will be blended the least, whereas the area of the eyebrow connected to the T zone will be the most blended thanks to the shadow following the nose bridge. the far end of the brow by the hairline tends to be the lightest given the light source.

and lastly, i loosely draw a white border around the portrait for stylistic purposes. then i combine the layers (group together your layers, then duplicate and compress the duplicate group so that you still retain your individual layers) to edit. i typically add noise and play with the curve setting. and heres the finished image:

i hope you enjoyed!!

[soulessjourney]

You're Alive

Paring: Spawn!Astarion x fem!DurgeReader

Word count: 3.6k

Summary: As the urge begins to consume Tav, she finds herself reliving some of her most brutal killings, with Astarion forced into a struggle to keep her from succumbing completely.

Warnings: Violence, Language, Near character death, Talk of killing, Tav has to fight herself in a mental essance, Duel POV

Your life had finally found peace. No longer did you feel the urge to tear apart everyone you encountered. But why did today feel so different? Something gnawed at the back of your mind, begging for release. You bit down on your tongue, attempting to push back the sharp claws sinking into your consciousness, returning to reality after tasting the metallic tang of blood in your mouth. Blinking, you surveyed the camp, your vision blurred as your head throbbed. Your companions lay sound asleep in their tents, your lover peacefully slumbering beside you in your shared shelter. With a groan, you collapsed to the ground, darkness encroaching on your vision.

You flinched as someone nudged you, the touch lacking the gentleness of your usual companions rousing you after a blackout. Rolling onto your back, you locked eyes with another figure—yourself. A wicked smile stretched across her face as she peered down at you. "Wake up, little bird," she said, your own voice sending shivers down your spine as you struggled to dispel the image before you. Surely, it was a cruel dream, or perhaps a twisted jest concocted by Gale. The figure above you clicked her tongue and brushed your hair aside. "Come now, don't appear so bewildered. You know exactly who I am," she whispered.

Jerking away from her touch, you scrambled to your feet, putting distance between you and the apparition. "I don't know who you are, and whatever sick joke you think you're playing, stop it," you snapped. Deep down, however, you recognized the person standing before you—your past self, fighting to seize control of your body.

She chuckled, closing the gap between you with measured steps. "Well, little bird, I am you. I am the grin that spreads when blood stains your skin. I am the reverie you indulge in, envisioning the demise of every soul you encounter. My dear, I am the pulse quickening with anticipation at the thought of wrapping your hands around your lover's throat," she murmured, her final words a whispered caress against your ear.

You shook your head, her words leaving you stunned. The shock wasn't born of confusion; it was the recognition of truth. "I'm not like you. I'm not as evil as you are. I'm good, I'm improving, and I'm leaving you behind," you declared, your voice tinged with desperation. You realized you weren't trying to convince her; you were attempting to convince yourself that you had outgrown the bloodthirsty killer you once were.

She laughed, the sound echoing through the camp, yet miraculously failing to disturb the slumbering figures. "How do you define good and evil?" she challenged, her gaze raking over you as she circled. "You eliminate those who obstruct your path. Many would argue that's evil, even if you consider it good," she murmured, trailing a finger down your cheek. As you looked at her, you recognized the mirror image of yourself—the same nose, jawline, and attire. The only disparities were in her eyes, hard and lifeless compared to your soft, hopeful gaze. Her eye color, resembling pools of thick, dark blood, put Astarion's red orbs to shame. While your hair was a gentle brown, hers was jet black, streaked with blood-red strands. She was your antithesis, craving violence and pain while you exuded gentleness and love.

"I'm good because I don't slaughter innocents like you do. I don't yearn to feel blood on my skin—not like you. I'm nothing like you, and I never will be," you growled, your eyes hardening as you resisted the urge to recoil from her touch by biting the inside of your cheek.

"Ah, indeed, you're correct. You're the white swan—delicate and gentle—while I'm the despised black swan, vying for dominance and power," she remarked, running her fingers through your hair before gripping it tightly, pulling your head back with a force that threatened to snap your neck. "Why do you hide from me, little bird? Do you blame yourself?" she whispered, her blood-red eyes locking with yours.

Confusion twisted your expression as you looked up at her, feeling your heart race at her question. "What?" you whispered, focusing your gaze on hers.

She released your hair and grasped your face, running her thumbs across your cheeks in a manner that felt condescending. "Well, little bird, it's quite common in this situation to feel a kind of... guilt," she hummed. A twist formed in your stomach as she loomed over you, her gaze igniting a new type of fear within you.

Backing away, you felt sweat gathering in your palms as you listened intently. "What situation?" This was the aspect you struggled with the most—being unable to recall anything about your past, what you had done to others. The only reminders were fleeting flashes of memory when you stood over a lifeless body or closed your eyes.

Her smile dissolved into a mocking frown as she clicked her tongue. "The accident, silly." With that, it felt as though your body was hurtling backward, and your vision faded to black, the last image imprinting on your mind being her wide grin and the murderous delight gleaming in her eyes.

--- Astarion ---

Astarion stirred in the tent, waiting for you to join him. You had been engrossed in a book found during your exploration of the shadowlands. As time passed, a sense of unease began to simmer within him, a blend of worry and fear. Opening the tent flap, he peered out, scanning the camp for any sign of you. Just before retreating into the tent, he spotted you on the ground near the fire, your muscles spasming beneath your skin. Without knowing how he reached you, he found himself kneeling beside you, gently shaking you in an attempt to rouse you. "Tav, wake up," he whispered, nudging you again.

He was on the verge of calling for help when your eyes snapped open, your hand shooting up to grip his throat. Falling backward onto the ground, he gazed up at you, the grip tightening around his throat. Your eyes held no emotion, devoid of life. For a fleeting moment, he thought he saw flashes of blood-red eyes, uncertain if it was his imagination or if the person before him wasn't you. Watching as you reached for the knife strapped to your thigh—a gift he had given you after his confession while you lay nestled among the pillows—he sensed something was amiss. This wasn't you.

Placing his foot on your stomach, he pushed you away, sending you stumbling to the ground. The way you rolled across the ground almost made him mistake you for a ragdoll. Astarion quickly rose to his feet, his gaze fixed on you as you lunged toward him. Tackling you to the ground, he pinned you against the earth. "Tav, stop. This isn't you," he whispered, shivering as fear tingled through him. But there was no response from you; instead, you threw him off. From his position on the ground, he watched as you approached, knife in hand, your eyes vacant. "Come back to me, my love," he pleaded, his voice barely above a whisper.

--- Tav ---

You found yourself disoriented, surrounded by pitch-black darkness. Moving forward, you navigated through what felt like a fog, your head throbbing painfully. Letting out a strangled scream, you clutched at your temples, bending over in an attempt to alleviate the shattering pain. Collapsing to the ground, your cries intensified as you scratched at your head, leaving marks on your face in a desperate bid to dispel the agony. As a cool hand touched your forehead, your body relaxed, tears welling in your eyes. "Astarion?" you whispered, looking up toward the figure. Your hope dissolved as you recognized it wasn't him. "What do you want?" you spat, narrowing your eyes into a glare.

Your reflection met your gaze with a wide smile. "Oh, don't pretend you're not glad to see me. Without me, you'd be lost here," she remarked, reaching out to grasp your hand gently. Jerking your hand away, you shook your head. "You're close to the city. It would be unfair if I didn't show you how you ended up like this and stripped of all your power," she hissed into your ear, appearing behind you.

The way she moved around you made you feel like prey. She slithered around you like a snake toying with its food, offering hope of escape before striking. "And what if I don't want to know? I already live with blood on my hands from taking the life of an innocent bard. I don't need the knowledge of more innocent lives I've claimed," you mumbled, keeping your gaze fixed on the ground.

"Because you'll have a run-in with our dear sister. Obviously, you don't know who she is, but she doesn't play games when it comes to pleasing our dear father," she spat, her gaze fixed into the distance. Whoever this sister was, you could only assume she had a hand in how you ended up in this situation. You flinched as she yanked you from the ground and spun you until you faced the opposite direction. Before you, the fog shifted and transformed into a scene. There you stood, facing someone you didn't recognize.

"When we were created, we pledged our loyalty to father without understanding. We killed in his name and worshipped him until a new family member emerged and ruined everything we had worked so hard to build. People feared us, and they still do. Our dear sister tries to establish her power in our likeness, but she lacks the control we once had," she hummed, pulling you into the scene.

Your surroundings morphed to match the environment. The scent of blood overwhelmed your senses, and you fought the urge to gag. "Why are you showing me this exactly? Why are you so desperate to make me remember?" you asked, surveying the unfamiliar surroundings. Though unsure of your location, the stone walls surrounding you resembled a temple. Your eyes caught sight of a large skull carved into the walls, and your body trembled with recognition, feeling power surging into you.

"It's vital that you remember. If I can't jog your memories, you'll be forced to face her, and she'll slaughter you in a matter of moments. As much as I enjoy tearing people limb from limb, it's rather difficult when your vessel is killed," she huffed, her gaze locking onto yours. "Now, why don't we relive some of our most cherished memories?" Grabbing your shoulders, you hissed as her nails dug into your skin.

---Astarion---

Astarion scrambled to kick you off him as you swung your arm, knife clutched tightly. "Tav, stop!" he yelled, his voice reverberating around the camp. Astarion had never felt fear like this before, especially when faced with your empty, lifeless gaze. Your movements resembled that of a puppet, leaving him bewildered. Had something affected you just before you left the shadowlands? What was happening to you?

You managed to land a hit on him, sending him flying across the camp. His eyes widened as he saw a sadistic smile spread across your face. "You're going to make such a pretty corpse," you said, your smile appearing unnaturally forced. As you stepped closer, your body was suddenly knocked to the side as someone tackled you to the ground, causing the knife to slip from your grip.

Astarion sucked in a breath as Karlach loomed over you, her eyes wild with rage. He could swear he saw pure fury behind her gaze—the kind that drove people to kill. It quickly shifted to a look of disappointment and concern. "What are you doing, soldier? This isn't you!" she yelled, shaking you by the shoulders. Astarion heard no verbal response, only the loud laughter that escaped you.

"Two pretty corpses. Father is truly going to enjoy this gift," you laughed, throwing your head back before your forehead collided with Karlach's. A violent crack echoed through the air, followed by the sight of blood dripping from the wound on your head where the skin had split. Astarion barely noticed the other companions rushing from their tents toward you. All he could focus on was how you fought each of your companions, a wild laughter reverberating through the camp.

---Tav---

You felt sick to your stomach watching the memories unfold before you. The deeds you had committed made you feel like the very monster you had always tried to escape. She watched your reaction closely, a crooked smile playing on her lips. Witnessing that dark part of yourself revel in the pain you had inflicted on others made you want to vomit. Seeing just what you were capable of reinforced your gratitude for the fresh start you had been given.

She placed her hands on your shoulders and leaned in close to whisper something in your ear. "If you think that's fascinating, you should see your most recent memory," she whispered, the smile evident in her voice as the scene before you shifted.

Your face twisted in confusion before morphing into sheer horror. Unsure if the scream you heard was your own or from one of your companions, you swung your weapon toward them. "Stop! What the hell is wrong with you!" you screamed, struggling in her grasp. You couldn't ignore the sight of Astarion clutching his side, the look of betrayal etched on his face. But behind his eyes gleamed a knowing glint—he understood that this wasn't you. She had deceived you, luring you into this state to attack and harm your family. Rage coursed through you as you clenched your fists, hands trembling.

"Do you smell the fear and betrayal radiating off of them? Look at them, trying to disarm you. They're scared of hurting you. It's pathetic, honestly. I expected more entertainment, considering they're so desperate to rid themselves of that tadpole. They love you so much when they should fear what you truly are. You're a weapon, a pawn of Bhaal, and you'll always bend to his will to please him," she hissed, tightening her grip on your shoulders.

Shaking your head, you squirmed against her hold, attempting to break free from her piercing grip. You could feel her nails digging into your arms, undoubtedly breaking the skin in the process. "That's where you're wrong. I've fought you off for this long; I can fight off Bhaal. I'll never bend to his will. I'll never become what he so desperately wants me to be," you growled, throwing your head back to connect with her nose.

With a howl, she stumbled back, wiping at her face as she narrowed her eyes at you. "Alright, little bird, you want to play? Let's play." You didn't waver in your stance as you turned to face her fully, determined to regain control over yourself and protect your family.

---Astarion---

Something within you shifted, that much he could discern. The way your body tensed, the ripple of muscles beneath your skin, the contortion of your face in agony— it was evident you were at war with yourself. He watched helplessly as your arm bent into an unnatural position. Astarion's every instinct urged him to intervene, to restrain you and assure you that everything would be alright, that the darkness inside you wouldn't prevail. But his resolve wavered when Gale struck you with thorn whip, causing him to freeze. Shooting to his feet, Astarion tackled Gale to the ground with a yell, pinning him down. "What in the nine hells were you thinking? You could hurt her!" Rage surged through him as he glared down at Gale.

Gale shoved Astarion off him, returning a glare. "In case you've forgotten, our dear companion is attempting to kill us. I regret any harm I may have caused her, but our lives take precedence at this moment," he retorted, his expression tense. "We don't know if she'll recover from this, Astarion. We need to protect ourselves."

Astarion snarled, shaking his head, his red orbs fixed on Gale. "If you touch her again, I'll drain you, dry wizard," he spat, moving away from him. His eyes widened as he dodged a silver flash of a blade. Grabbing your wrist, he twisted it until the knife fell to the ground. Embracing you tightly, he lowered both of you to the ground, holding you close. "Come on, Tav. Come back to me, sweetheart," he whispered as you struggled in his grasp.

His arms tightened around you as you thrashed, screams echoing throughout the camp. He could sense the others behind him, ready to intervene if necessary. Holding his breath, he felt a whimper escape your lips as you ceased moving. "I'm scared," you confessed, your voice trembling with vulnerability. This was the Tav he knew and cherished, the one he loved more than anything. Caressing your head, he planted a kiss on the back of it, pulling you closer.

As swiftly as you had calmed, you resumed thrashing in his arms, causing something to crack in his chest. Feeling the sweat on your skin seep through his shirt only added to his distress. If there was a moment in his life he never wanted to relive, it would be this one. Seeing you so broken and tormented tore him apart. You were enslaved by something beyond your control, and it shattered him to witness it. Pressing his forehead against the back of your head, he shut his eyes tightly, gently rubbing your arms. "You're alive. You're alive. You're alive," he repeated softly, hoping his words would bring you some comfort.

---Tav---

Fighting against yourself wasn't what you had envisioned. You weren't even certain if the entity before you was truly yourself. Your own face was no longer recognizable; instead, a grotesque creature stood in your place. The once innocent visage had twisted into something horrifying. Its features contorted into long, pointed teeth, its eyes resembling black pits, seemingly designed to instill fear in its prey before launching an attack. Four arms extended from its sides, while long spikes adorned its back, and a pointed tail swung wildly behind it. Fear spiked in your chest as you beheld the monstrosity before you. This was what you were, what you were capable of.

A loud wail echoed from the creature as it advanced toward you. The darkness within you was terrifying, even repulsive. Flames flickered to life in your hand as you narrowed your eyes. Perhaps this could be the moment you finally triumphed and escaped the cravings consuming you. Casting a fireball, the creature emitted a screech before swiping a hand at you, catching your side and sending you flying backward, blood seeping through your shirt. Emitting a small whimper, you tilted your head back and closed your eyes. The distant sensation of a caress enveloped you, accompanied by faint whispers in your ear.

"You're alive."

You recognized the voice instantly. The fear lacing his tone caused your heart to race. The silent promise behind his words spurred you to open your eyes just as the beast loomed above you, emitting another deafening shriek. Something cool touched your fingers as you unleashed a scream to match the volume of the creature above you. Raising your arms, you pierced its chest, blood splattering your face as you stood, driving the sword deeper. The creature collapsed to the ground, its form morphing back to resemble your own once again. Meeting your own eyes, you grimaced. "You'll never be rid of me. One day, as you lie beside your beloved, you'll feel me seize control of your body, and you'll be powerless to stop me from draining the life of the one you love," she coughed. Coldness enveloped your body as you gazed down at your own reflection. Before you could formulate a response, your vision began to blur, and your body crumpled to the ground.

---

Your eyes snapped open as you sucked air into your lungs, scrambling away from Astarion's grasp. Your hands ran over your torso, searching for any signs of the wounds you had suffered in the brawl with yourself. Wild with fear, your eyes scanned the surroundings, shivering from the sweat covering your body and the adrenaline coursing through you. Looking up, you froze as you felt the gaze of your companions upon you, their faces etched with worry, hands poised to defend themselves if needed. Your bottom lip wobbled as you took in their appearance. "I'm sorry," were the first words that slipped past your lips as you noticed the wounds they had gained from the earlier struggle. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you repeated, wrapping your arms around yourself and rocking back and forth.

You didn't hear their response, if there was one. Instead, you felt a pair of cool hands touch your arms, causing you to flinch slightly. As you relaxed against the touch, they pulled you toward a chest, holding you tightly against them. "Deep breaths, Tav. We know you didn't mean to. We know it wasn't you," Astarion mumbled. Your sobs echoed through the camp as you clung to him, only for them to intensify as you felt the arms of Shadowheart and a few other companions wrap around you, hugging you with the same intensity as Astarion.

You had lived. You had survived the grueling battle with yourself. You had won.

---Gale---

Gale had chosen to stay behind as he observed the scene unfolding before him. The cut on his arm stung from the earlier attack he had endured from you. Something in the back of his mind screamed at him to flee, to put as much distance between you and himself as possible. He couldn't ignore the way you looked at him from Astarion's shoulder, your eyes shining a bright blood red and a twisted smile spreading across your lips. Gale pressed his lips together, his eyes narrowing into a glare. You had never truly won.

[randomfotos]

Hello everyone, today I'm going to move away from the topic of my blog, to talk about something serious!

I've been on Tumblr since its inception, I've had several accounts, with different content and styles. I currently have two active accounts, both of which are very popular.

I gave this brief context, so that you understand that I have a basis for what I am going to say next.

For years I have noticed a certain discrepancy in the number of notes in certain posts. Over time it became increasingly obvious to understand why… The fact is that posts starring men of color (black, Asian, Latino, indigenous, people from the Middle East, in general, non-white men) receive much less, but much less likes and shares than those carried out by white men.

And look, this isn't about blog popularity and making a post go viral here. It's something bigger and very serious: racism and xenophobia.

And that's a huge general outline. For example: if posts with older men don't receive as many likes, compared to those with young, sexy, muscular black men, they receive much less notification than posts with older white men.

Another example, posts by fat men, do not have much repercussion, but when compared to that of an Asian or indigenous person, the fat white man receives more visibility.

I mentioned these two specific aspects, because in a society developed according to an aesthetic standard, old gay men and fat gay men are routinely placed on the margins of the gay community, simply because they do not meet these aesthetic expectations, but even when a group meets these "aesthetic standards", are belittled, subdued, disrespected and discriminated against, solely because of their skin color and origin.

Racism and xenophobia around the world is something that is clearly present in everyday life. And many people think it is not prejudiced. But even though things are very open on a daily basis, racism and xenophobia act silently, in a very sneaky way.

So, if you stop liking a photo because you didn't find it beautiful or attractive in your eyes, it's ok! Now, if you want for a second, you think about "if it were a white man there, this photo would be more beautiful" or "if it were a white man, I would feel hot for this guy", I'm sorry to inform you that you have the racism and xenophobia rooted in you!

Once again, I repeat. It's not about popularity, number of likes or reblogs. It's something very serious!

It’s not enough to not be racist, you have to be anti-racist! This means that we must monitor ourselves so that we do not have veiled racist and xenophobic attitudes in our attitudes and speech!

P.S.: I'm Brazilian, and English is not my mother tongue. So I ask you to use interpretation to understand what was said in a mature and responsible way. If any word or phrase is wrong or out of context, please let me know!

[lemon-wedges]

Hello!!! I love your art and your style. I'd love to hear your inspirations behind how you draw and, in addition, hear a bit about your painting process (I love the impressionistic look your paintings have)

ahh!!! thank you so much ;u;

Ill tried my best to break down my thought process behind my drawing, so i hope this all makes sense aahaha

undercut cause it came out real long

SO Karl Gnass is an instructor that i took an anatomy class with. and who broke down anatomy in a way that really helped me grasp space. like space a figure occupies. and from that i think my characters feel a bit more...grounded? im not sure what the right word would be but tangible is something people sometimes say about my art.

And i do think when youre able to make a figure look like its really wrapping its hands around something it makes character interactions a lot more intimate.

heres a few under sketches i do when i start a drawing (i am trying REALLY hard not to use my nsfw ones tho those are pretty perfect when it comes to showing u anatomy RIP)

after i got the poses done ill turn down the opacity and rough sketch out details on top of these. and once THATS done i move onto lineart. and the most important aspect of this step is NOT TO TRACE YOUR UNDER DRAWING!!!! thats what sucks the life out of your work!!!!

instead you use your undersketch as a guide. ilI actually redraw the simple anatomy underneath very lightly, erase where they over lap and then add line weight variety + darken up the details.

examples of this are gonna look a little messy but. Left is the original pose i drew out with rough details. right is the drawing i do on top of it. you'll see theyre not one to one and theres some lines i didnt fully erase out when redoing the anatomy. i find my clean up has a lot more energy when i do this.

the thing about my style is that you'll notice i never actually do actual clean smooth lineart. and thats because i HATE DOING THAT SHIT. like i did learn how to do it and consistently forced myself to do it for over a year. and while i do think i learned a lot about line weight and drawing clearer. i realized? its just not for me. I like a textured brush and i like being able to see those small lines i didnt get to fully erase out because i think they look cool lol and thats ok!! do what you want forever man!!! its your art!!!

Also before i move onto painting ill show you this neat little trick. you know those more "loose" drawings of mine that feel more gestural? the begining process is exactly the same. the difference is i use a chunkier pen and try to see how much i can simplify details + just feel out the energy of lines

NOW PAINTING.

man. where to even start.

the thing about painting is that its an entire different set of skills that need to each be honed on their own and will slowly build up together. ill break it down like this.

VALUE, COLOR, and TECHNIQUE

I've said this on another ask before but you'll notice ill do a lot of black and white sketches. and i do that to practice choosing how to group values.

like this example. how light is laios' wolf coat compared to his skin? or kabrus skin color compard to laios coat. when do you want to really push the contrast of light and dark and when do you let values be closer to each other when you DONT want attention

the next step from this is adding a light source.

and when you're working in black and white its a lot easier to pay more attention where you want your light/how its gonna look like hitting youre characters and how far youre gonna push your shadows.

and you know if you get good at this you can play with limited color palletes

this is literally just be picking out blues and hitting the bottom with the gradient tool to light it up

NOW COLOR

is a lot harder and also very subjective. I do a ton of impressionist studies where i just color pick the fuck out of a piece to see what colors masters used + knowing the history of paint and what colors were available during that time period. +knowing what colors = what mood + knowing what colors to use when you want to be more realistic vs when you want to lean into more stylized+ what colors YOU specially incline towards + AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

its a lot and im actually still learning myself

But when i do a painting i collect a LOT of refrences of the kind of mood i want my own painting to feeling like. I've show the first example in another ask before but heres one from my latest labru too

WHen i actually start a painting tho they look like this. The top drawings are just flat colors with a simple outline of where i want the light to be hitting. like in my value studies im just trying to get the idea down, seeing what values need to be darker vs what is lighter. and how the light source covers the character.

figuring this out in the begining makes the rest of the painting so much easier because youve essentially made all the big compostion decisions NOW. from here you can start playing with colors.

my second stage, youll see with drawings at the bottom, is when i start using my texture brush to lay in extra shadows and just play with variety.

and then? i start rendering

that would be TECHNIQUE

And well....thats also something thats gonna be very subjective.

With my own style im not interested in rendering everything to perfection. Im trying to figure out how to texture hair/skin/clothes in ways that make them feel like the materials they are while also showing the energy of my brushstrokes.

I dont zoom in while i paint btw. everything i do is zoomed out so i can see the entire drawing. it helps me not tight up my strokes while also letting me build up all areas of the painting equally. the only time i zoom in is when im lining out the eyes/mouth of a character. and yeah. it drives me insane doing this because ITS SOOOOO Tempting to obsess over paint 1 area forever then zoom out and see that nothing matches lol

The other thing about my style of painting. Is that im not gonna use the exact same formula for every piece. like this isnt cell shading. you can have an idea of how to texture skin/clothes/hair and sometimes it looks great and beautiful in one painting and then it looks like shit in another. ive overhauled a lot of paintings multiple times because what i thought would work doesnt and ive had to force myself to explore and play with my brushstrokes. and you know? i wouldnt have it any other way. it means none of my paintings are gonna look alike! and i think thats pretty cool :D

ill leave you with this in the end. a painting im in the middle of doing and debating to overhaul cause im just not feeling the strokes. who knows what ill look like in the end

anyways i hope this helped a little? even if you look at all this and go. IM NEVER GONNA DRAW LIKE THIS BOZO ahahah

BUT I WISH YOU LUCK ON YOUR OWN ARTS :DDDD

[blindvogel]

There were a few things I would have liked to address after Rook returns from the Fade. Just a thing or two that I think got swept a little under the rug. And we'll get around to it here. So. Final part. Kamari.

~~~

Its shape the absence of you (Part 3)

Compared to the grey nothingness of the Fade prison, the physical world is bright and loud and overwhelming. It’s a riot of colors, some of which Kamari realizes she sees for the first time. It’s hearing the hum of the Lighthouse, every movement of her friends is accompanied by a cacophony of sound. She never thought that the noise of Emmrich’s many bracelets could be so loud but it’s also the most welcoming thing, so achingly familiar she could weep. It’s the sensations across her skin that are the most overwhelming - suddenly she is aware of every inch of fabric and leather and metal on her body, the soft breeze of air on her face. The hammering of her heart in her chest, the stale taste in her mouth. 

She focuses on her breath, centering her mind on this simple process until some of the information hammering into her head recedes. Until she can speak, and open her eyes. 

She doesn’t focus on the strange room she finds herself in, knowing that this must be the top of the Lighthouse. Instead it’s her little family that has her full attention. Taash, towering above all of them but with the most concern on their face. Neve and Lucanis, standing close together and eyeing her over like she might grow a second head at any moment. She can’t fault them for that. 

Emmrich.

She has never seen him like this. Shirt rumpled, hair a mess and the shadow of stubbles on his jaw. As if he had fallen out of bed and not bothered with anything but being here. Kamari swallows as a lump suddenly forms in her throat, unable to look away. And he is staring back at her as if she might disappear at any moment. 

She wants nothing more than to run to him but doesn’t trust herself with those overwhelmed senses.

Taash is the one that speaks first. “What’s wrong with your eyes? Why do they look like silver pieces? Can you see with that?”

Kamari doesn’t quite know what to do with that except turn to them. “I see you, Taash. Perhaps…” Her mind reels with possible explanations and the building headache. “Perhaps just an aftereffect of the Fade. Does it disturb you?”

There’s a noncommittal sound first, then a response. “Nah. It’s kinda cool.”

She can’t help but smile. 

“You must be hungry. I’ll make a light soup, mild, little texture.” Lucanis, as always, knows how to help by making food and she is grateful for it. 

“I’ll help. Come on, Taash.” Neve chimes in and pulls the qunari with her, the clacking of her metal prosthesis on stone so loud to Kamari’s ears that she can feel it in her teeth.

“What? Why?” A pause. “Ooooh.” To their credit, Taash leaves it at that. 

Their figures recede into a corridor leading down and Kamari’s focus returns to Emmrich who has not moved or spoken since he pulled her out of the Fade. And she knows that it was him, his hand reaching out to her as she struggled to claw her way out of Solas’s Fade prison. 

Now he’s simply looking at her as if he doesn’t know what to do with himself, his body held at full tension.

Kamari drifts towards him until she would only have to reach out to touch him, close enough to notice the shadows under his eyes, the slight tremble to his lips. Her heart breaks anew in a much different way.

“I’m sorry I did not keep my promise to you,” she says softly and hears him take a deep breath.

The tension does not leave his body, and at this point it dawns on her that he is holding himself back just as much as she does. They are only a step apart and yet it could just as well be a mile.

“I have been such a fool. Before we speak of anything else, I need you to know that I never intended to hurt you and I am deeply sorry for it.”

She can’t deny that it feels good to hear him say it, to feel the knot around her heart loosen and fall away after what feels like forever. It’s written all over his face that this has been weighing on him as much as it has on her, and Kamari wishes to finally reach out to him, hold him. But she is still far too cognizant of the sensations on her skin, this painfully overwhelming feeling, and the last thing she wants is to hurt him by flinching away from his touch. 

“We both said hurtful things. I’m sorry for my-”

“No, I needed to hear that, dearest. As much as it pains me to admit it, it was my fear speaking and not my heart.” He interrupts her gently, his voice quiet and soft, curling with such hope around the endearment that she can’t help but raise her hand to his cheek, stopping just short of touching him.  

A thought occurs to her, a question she must ask to fully understand the feelings she can see written so plainly on his face.

“How long have I been gone?” Time in the Fade was nebulous, incalculable. It felt like an eternity at some points and merely seconds at others. 

“A few weeks. If you wish to know the exact number of days..” He drifts off, his eyes turn downwards, and Kamari feels her stomach drop away.

“Weeks…,” she breathes, struggling to comprehend. Then a much different issue overtakes her thoughts. If she had been gone for weeks… “Elgar’nan. What did he do? And… Solas took the dagger, left the Fade with it. What..?”

Emmrich takes her shift in tone and topic in stride, and she watches him put his feelings away for later as a more pressing issue arises. Oh how she loves this man, and intends to show him once her body stops betraying her.

“Come, there is much to update you on and discuss. The others will want to be present.”

Kamari is not surprised to hear that Elgar’nan chose Minrathous as his seat of power, though she is saddened knowing just how much this weighs on Neve. On not knowing what exactly goes on in her city, being entirely locked out. It also does not surprise her that Solas is once again leading a rebellion, working with the Shadow Dragons to keep the Blight in the city at bay. He is nothing if not true to his cause - at heart he wants to be a hero, to help and to guide and protect. Stop the Blight, stop the Evanuris. But it will not last if they let him, something will have to be done to stop him from bringing down the Veil. 

The replica of the dagger is one option. Kamari is quietly awestruck and proud of Emmrich, being able to replicate it so flawlessly, even if it doesn’t have the same powers. 

Mythal’s essence is another. In her heart Kamari loathes the woman for all she has done, but unexpectedly she might also be the solution so she holds onto that thought instead.

The briefing ends with a semblance of a plan and as Emmrich volunteers to contact all their allies, Lucanis sweeps her away for dinner. 

At this point she’s finally able to sit down, after having spent the entire briefing pacing the room, and the bowl of savory broth he puts into her hands doesn’t feel like it’s too much. Finally her senses are returned to something that resembles normal. 

“Your eyes have color again, sorella. Should be a good sign,” Lucanis informs her as he watches her sip carefully on his cooking, slowly adjusting to and then savoring the warmth that begins filling her stomach. 

He nods with a pleased smile when she finishes, then shoos her out of the kitchen.

As she heads down the corridor to Emmrich’s room, he opens the door wearing his coat and they both come to a halt for a moment until he closes the distance. There is such a serious look on his face, a pleading urgency in his voice.

“Kamari, dearest, please trust me. I must take you to the Necropolis before we confront Elgar’nan.”

That he even has to ask… 

“I trust you, Emmrich,” she reassures him with a soft determination that manages to pull a tiny smile onto his face, the first she has seen in what feels like forever.

“Thank you, darling.”

They do not inform anyone that they are leaving, or any of the Watchers of their arrival for that matter. Emmrich leads her through the eluvian and down the winding corridors of the Necropolis until they reach a section that she knows is reserved for private internments. She quietly wonders why until he shows her the way into a crypt, occupied by a single sarcophagus. A few blooms of Shroud’s Kiss have found their way in, winding around it, and flowers are hewn into the white marble - and it dawns on her that this is his. The significance of it isn’t lost on her and when she looks up at Emmrich as they sit down on the bench she can tell that he knows as much.

She swallows, has to look away for a moment as his gaze remains so intently on her face. 

“Did- we have to risk visiting the Necropolis?” she asks to finally break the silence.

When she turns back to look at him, there is such tenderness in Emmrich’s eyes, written all over his face, a worry melting away.

“I needed its subtler enchantments to detect what we must know.” A soft sigh of relief that has her heart stuttering. “There is no mark of the curse Solas left on you.”

There is a long moment where they just look at each other and Kamari feels his relief just as palpable as she feels her own, a before unspoken and unthought concern drifting away, leaving her lighter. 

Then the little smile disappears from Emmrich’s face and instead she can finally see what he has been hiding from her since her return. For a moment she sees all the pain and grief he has felt for the weeks that she was gone. 

“Darling… I thought I’d lost you forever in the Fade.” 

His voice wavers and brings with it the memory of her own fear and grief, a mirror to his experience just stretched into infinity by the Fade. She has to look away, turn her head up and look at the ceiling, afraid that otherwise the tears will return.

“Some Watcher I was, stuck in the Fade. And the worst part?” She falls silent for a moment, blinks away the pesky tears that have begun to gather in the corners of her eyes despite all her best effort. Looks down, still not quite able to meet Emmrich’s gaze. “I wasn’t afraid I’d die. I was afraid I’d be there forever.”

“You’re not. You’re here with me.” 

He says it so gently and with so much reassurance that Kamari finally looks up and again the moment returns, the feeling of palpable relief shared between them. Except this time there is also something else. She has thought it so many times quietly to herself and while she cannot yet say it out loud, there is something he must know.

She gets up off the bench, finally taking his hand in hers and pulling him up to her.

“I did have someone to come back to.”

Emmrich follows her tug easily, readily, and as she leans up to kiss him, he meets her halfway.

Pushing her way up the steep climb out of the Fade, she had thought of this moment, imagined it to keep herself going, and still it is so much more. The warmth of his lips on hers, the softness of his hair as she runs her hand through it, his hands pressed to her back holding her close. 

It is so much and not enough, not after everything.

Again she leads and readily he follows, sinking into the comfortable sarcophagus together. 

And this time is different. They’ve had great sex before but this is something else. It’s as if they’re seeing each other for the first time, all wonder and tenderness and gentle touch. It’s soft and slow and deep. Until she’s curled up in his arms, feeling whole and feeling home.

[moonlight-canavalia]

You're Human Too: Chapter.2 Devotion Pair: Gojo Satoru x F!Reader Summary: Your first time with Gojo. CW: Sex, P in V, Teasing, Dirty Talk, Fluff, Pussy Eating. Do not repost or translate my works. AO3

Who would’ve thought love would mean night-ins just creating a world for the both of you. Ignoring what happens outside and just focusing on yourselves. How home has become a pair of arms holding each other tightly not wanting to break the embrace. It’s still a strange wonderful feeling how familiar you two have always found one another. As if your souls have known each other in the past and have found each other again and again. Love has many meanings; it can be shown is so many different ways. By touch, a gift, words or something as simple as a genuine smile. Loving Satoru Gojo was different in the best way possible. Complicated as he can be it was an easy type of love. Built on years of friendship, lame jokes, teasing remarks, caring for one another. Just embracing one another's greatest achievements and faults.

Moments alone together are rare, but it’s important to remember you both have a right to steal a moment for yourselves. Even if fun means staying indoors with a movie and some take out.

The small date you both had planned for today had to be rescheduled, it seemed like the weather wasn’t in favor of your plans. Sudden showers were announced, so you both opted for a date in. Neither of you minded it, rain, food and cuddling while watching tv? That sounded like a perfect evening. That is until the silence was disturbed. Gojo wouldn’t stop pestering you , asking what was it you liked the most about him, what made you fall for him. “Come on just tell me why do you like me so much. What do you like about me” he asks dragging every word making them longer in an high pitched voice. Movie forgotten playing in the background, you sat on his lap facing him. Surprised by you he goes to speak and you immediately put a finger up to his lips. Raising an eyebrow at you he goes along with whatever you’re gonna do, grabbing you by your hips, he lowers himself more on the couch so you can sit comfortably on his lap. The way he’s smirking while looking at you makes your heartbeat accelerate a bit. How could it not? Gojo tends to have that effect on you. Intense gaze never letting up, ceaseless teasing on the daily and nonstop flirtatious remarks. But one thing was always present and it's his way of loving and caring for people. Words weren't always his strong suit, but his devotion is always there.

Mustering up some courage to spill a fraction of your feelings for the snow colored haired male; you can almost feel your heart clawing its way up your throat. You bring up your shaky hands to take off his his sunglasses and put them off to the side. Bright blue eyes staring back at you, you give him a genuine smile and he does the same. Lowering your face so your lips are hovering over his you whisper to him “I think the moon, the night sky, and all the stars in the universe are jealous of the galaxies you hold in your eyes alone. Here I am lucky enough to have them looking at me with so much devotion, so much care, so tenderly. I'm glad that between heaven and hell, we were lucky enough to find each other, here in the middle.” you finish sounding breathless.

Gojos hands tighten around your waist and for a moment you think it made him uncomfortable. Before you could say anything one of his hands is grabbing you by the back of your head, fingers tangled in your hair. He's kissing you and it's robbing you of air. This kiss feels different compared to the others you two have shared. Every kiss has been indescribable but this one is all consuming leaving your senses revitalized. Your skin feels hot feeling his lips moving softly against yours but there’s so much emotion behind it - a sense of urgency. Trying to convey everything he feels for you. Hearts beating wildly against each others chest. Breaking the kiss to catch his breath he takes in your disheveled look. The kiss is deeper and it's left every nerve in your body on fire. You shudder at the feeling of his hands running up and down your sides gently squeezing you. He hasn’t responded to your words yet, still processing them. A sudden realization came over him and something inside him shattered. And the desperation to touch you and kiss you came instantly. Breaking the kiss he takes a deep breath, admiring the view in front of him. He wants this moment ingrained in his mind forever, like one remembers a favorite song. Always playing in the back of your mind at the most random of times bringing you back to that first moment you heard it; causing the same happiness to replay again and again. You’re his and he is yours for the rest of each other’s lives and even after that. If there was one thing he was sure of is he'd love you in the past and he'd love you in any existence. If the both of you existed at the same time his heart would always search for yours.

From the first moment Gojo saw you he knew you were it for him. The way you made him feel left him making up mind long ago. If it ever needed to be, he'd sacrifice the world for you. You purely cared for him, him as a person. His title was something attached to him wherever he went, but it was something you didn't care for. You acknowledged and knew it for a fact he was indeed the strongest, but at the end of the day he was still the same annoying but funny Satoru Gojo you'd known for years. Knowing he wasn’t the easiest person to be around at times made him appreciate you even more. You never left, always there for him no matter the time or day. He feels his chest tighten at the realization crashing down on him, he was in love with you. Deeply, madly and completely in love with you and he had been for a while now. Those three words are burning the tip of his tongue wanting to escape. Lips parting slightly, breathing heavy, you both take a moment and are left staring at one another. The way you’re looking at him would have brought him to his knees if he were standing. He starts littering tender kisses around your face and neck. A delighted sigh escapes past your lips.

“Y’know”-he starts whispering near your ear voice dropping an octave-“ever since I first saw you, I knew you were gonna be in my life. Didn’t know if it was gonna be for the best or crap” he chuckles. “It took me years to admit it to myself even though I already knew what I wanted with you. I have a flawed personality, and you never seemed to mind it. I was so scared of hurting you but you always put me in my place when it needed to be done. I felt my life begin again when we made it official between us. You have turned into my sun and moon; it’s you and always will be you.”

His words have eased any doubt you had within you. Awestricken by them you find yourself suddenly growing timid. Not knowing what to say you hide your face in the crook of his neck.

“Aw, my girl got all shy on me. Cute.” Gojo says teasingly. To get your attention he decides to softly pinch the fat of your cheeks between his index and thumb. What he gets in return is a groan from your lips and a low ‘stop it’. “No” he scoffs — “I’ll keep going until you look at me”.

He might be annoying sometimes but he always means well; he really does. Growing up in such a strict household where he was only seen for his gifts left him with little to no room for fun. Making up for lost time seems like the easiest explanation for why he is the way he is. Who could tell someone as powerful as him what to do? —(Well you could and he’d do anything you ask of him.) But the way he acts is also a mask at times, but he has to keep it up he thinks. He can’t let people worry, as the strongest sorcerer he has to protect everyone around him. It’s a tough weight to carry a lot for just one man alone to do. But it’s something he’s accepted long ago; so having you in his life resets him. Reminds him that he deserves moments of peace where he can enjoy simpler things. Be it fate or the universe, the both of you were meant to cross paths and meet.

Running your hands along his forearms you land on his hands and guide them down to wrap around your waist. Chests pressed together you both feel one another’s erratic heartbeats. It’s cute how nervous the both of you are —you both think simultaneously— but neither speak up about it; just wanting to enjoy what’s happening. Gathering up your courage you start the kiss slow and he follows you, letting you dictate the pace. He hasn’t moved his hands from where you put them relishing how soft your skin feels under his fingertips as his grip gets tighter.

Moving one of your hands to cup his cheek you bring the other one up to tangle in his hair. Giving his hair a small tug you tilt his head back a bit to deepen the kiss. Mouth agape gives you the perfect opportunity to slip your tongue in and you do. Losing yourselves in the moment, the feeling of one another neither of you know how long you’ve been in that position. Gojo decides to bring one of his arms across your back, resting his hand on your shoulder blade while the other is tight against your waist. Pressing you harder against his body. His cock is straining against his pants and you can feel it against your core. Involuntary you start rocking your hips back and forth, small moans escaping from your mouth. Shame is nonexistent as you try to feel more of him. Angling your hips and pressing yourself more on to the outline of his cock to feel more. Gojo is fighting the urge to throw you against the sofa and fuck you stupid. The noises you are making, the warmth from your core mixed with your movements have him almost coming in his pants. He’s helping you grind your hips even harder on him, drunk on every sound you’re making. Wrapping your arms around his neck you rest your lips on his — “more” you whisper.

A small grunt leaves his lips as he grabs both of your cheeks with his big hands. “Are you sure Angel?” Gojo asks in a hushed tone. Shaking your head up and down you think it’s enough of an answer for him. But as he presses his lips to your forehead to leave a fleeting kiss he murmurs “I need you to say it sweetheart” and you can hear a the touch of nervousness behind his tone. Always the worried one with you, treating you like glass. He just wanted to be sure you wanted this just as much as him —as if the events prior weren’t enough of an indicator— wanting everything with you to be as perfect as possible. “I’m sure Satoru, promise” you give him a bright smile.

Outside it has started pouring, the rain letting its presence known with small thuds against the windows. Everything feels serene, rain and your small whimpers are the only audible things in Gojos living room.

Drawing back from his place on your neck, he gently appreciates the slowly blooming marks coming to life around your throat. As Gojo runs his thumb slowly against them he swears your skin feels softer and better than any silk he’s ever touched. Admiring the purple and reddish marks leaves him with a sense of satisfaction. Finally after all this time, he can mark you like he’s always wanted to. Finally — he thinks —people will know you’re taken when he can’t be beside you. “You always look so pretty” he says says - cupping your cheek.

His hands tightened under your thighs as he gets up from the sofa holding you. “Let’s move to my room so it’s more comfortable, yeah?” he says in a hushed tone voice sweeter than honey. Carrying you deeper into his apartment, towards his room he lays you on his bed. The room is dimly lit, lamps casting a low steady warm light — Gojos preference —as you are familiar with. Since the last rays of the sun are hidden behind rain clouds the room feels even cozier. The sheets feel so soft you think; Gojo on the other hand is processing how to even start. He’s not a man that second guesses himself, always sure on what he wants. But when it comes to you, he always gets nervous and he feels something strange in him-doubt is trying to settle in. You’re the best chance he’s ever let himself take. Letting someone see who he truly is is something he thought he wouldn’t have the luxury of experiencing.

Before he can even react you’re pulling him down onto you and connecting your lips together. “What’s wrong, Satoru? We don’t have to do anything y’know.” you finish off with a peck to his lips. Looking down at you makes a sense of calm wash over him. You are really his home, the way you calm his nerves with just a simple question. So used to being told what to do and not being checked on afterwards—you really are his angel. “Sorry there baby, got lost in how gorgeous you look under me. Bet you’re thinking the same there.” that lopsided smile he’s giving you makes you melt. But you still want to wipe it off of him. If he isn’t teasing or poking fun it’s not Gojo. It’s part of him and something you’re used to.

You tug at the bottom of his t-shirt -signaling-for him to take it off. As soon as he does you reach up and run your hands over each bit of exposed skin you can reach from your position under him. Goosebumps rise on his skin as soon as he feels your warm hands touching him. “Okay, okay your turn” he says smiling while swatting your hands away.

Leaning more towards you he moves his large palms to the soft mounds of your breast, caressing and squeezing over the sweatshirt you are wearing. “Help me take it off,” he murmured looking at you. Bare chest exposed to his eyes has him biting back a moan as he watches your nipples pebble exposed to the cold in the room. His breath gets caught at the back of his throat as you lay back down. Strong hands grab your parted thighs so he can fix his position “How about this next, angel?”. Getting shy at his question you’re left nodding. Gojo raises a brow and gives your right thigh a small squeeze. “Y-yes” comes out your stuttering answer as you raise your hips to assist him in taking your pants off.

Left in just your underwear you feel his eyes run up and down your body. Making his way up your body he leans on his elbows leaving a kiss on your lips. Leaning down near your ear he whispers in a deep voice “I’ve been wanting you for so long, you have no idea and I’m gonna show you, Angel”. Leaning on his left arm he brings his right hand down to your breast taking your hardened nipple between his finger gently pinching and squeezing your tit. The kisses Gojo is leaving along your jaw down to the curvature of your neck are scorching your skin. You’re whimpering at the feeling of his soft lips running across the marks he had left earlier. Closing your eyes drowning in the feeling of his lips you open your eyes when you feel his warm tongue swirl around your hardened nipple. When your eyes meet with his he sucks harder while pinching your left nipple. A loud moan escapes your mouth and at that a sudden wave of possessiveness hits him. He’s reveling in the fact that no one else gets this view and as long as he’s alive no one else will. The way you’re squirming under him and he hasn’t even fucked you has him in a daze.

The noises you’re making has his cock painfully hard but he just wants to focus on you first. Wanting you to be ready to take his cock. Gojo removes his hand from your breast and starts dragging it down your stomach, calloused fingertips leaving a goosebumps in their wake. Fingers gripping and touching every bump and curve over your body, wanting to memorize you entirely. “You’re so perfect. Aren’t you, hm?” you can almost feel the vibrations of his voice against your chest.

He’s wearing that wolfish grin of his while looking at you. Leaving a kiss on your clavicle he back up and rests on his knees. Hands resting on your thighs his gaze fixes on the wet patch in between your legs. “What if I touch you here, Y/N?” hooded eyes not breaking contact from where he’s touching. He seems hypnotized, grabbing your panties he stretches them over your sensitive nub watching your pussy lips swallow the offending piece. Gojo is fighting the urge to rip it off, wanting to have have a little more fun with you. To distract himself he starts rubbing slow circles over your clit watching the material get darker the wetter you got. It’s a sin how good he’s making you feel when he still hasn’t taken your panties off. Looking at him you notice the way the dim lights seem to dance across his pale skin. Your hips are involuntary moving trying to feel more while he’s toying with you. “‘Toru come on” you whine at him. Heat pooling in your lower stomach.

“I’ve been waiting for this for so long and here you are being impatient. But I can’t say no to you baby.” Warm hands grab the waistband of your panties and he’s pulling them down your legs. Palming his cock over his sweatpants he takes a real good look at you, and to him you look ethereal. A goddess walking amongst men in this pitiable world. He will worship your body, mind and soul.

Getting rid of his pants he's only left wearing his black boxers. “I bet you taste as sweet as you look” —“keep your legs here” he speaks in a raspy tone —placing them on his shoulders— words sounding a little breathless. The thumping of your heart is so strong you almost miss the feeling of Satoru trailing kisses on the inside of your thighs, nipping at your skin. The teasing glint in his eyes ever present looking at you become desperate for more of him. Making his way to your cunt, you feel his warm breath fanning over your folds, lips hovering over your wet cunt. He leaves a kiss before he's bringing one of his hands to spread you open. A groan left his lips as soon as he tasted you. Addicting is the first word that pops into his head. Strong hands pin your hips down to the bed so you don't move away from him. The only thing on his mind is your pleasure. Having his tongue against your clit he spells each letter of his name. "You're mine pretty girl" his sultry words combined with his actions has you whimpering his name.

Swirling his tongue around your clit he presses his face harder into you to suck at your clit. Dragging his tongue up and down your wet cunt teasing you before he buries his tongue in you. The thrusting of his tongue in and out of you, massaging your inner walls has you squirming under him. Stealing a look at your moaning trembling figure he sees you gripping the sheets under you. The noises you're making have him rutting his hips against the mattress searching for some type of relief on his aching cock. One of your hands reach out tangling your fingers through his hair pulling at his roots. A quick burning pain washes over him and he lets out a small hiss. Lifting his gaze he's met with your tinged pink face already looking back at him. "I-I'm sor-" before you can apologize -thinking you hurt him- he's pushing your legs up towards your chest, leaving your cunt even more exposed for his eyes. "Do it again if you want, Angel" he says licking his lips. Smiling he gives your clit a kiss, then another and another until you feel his soft lips dragging against yours. Every moan is like music to his ears and it's the sweetest melody he's ever heard. He doesn't want it to stop; wanting to know what other noises he could pull out of you. Trying to close your legs around his head as the feeling is getting a bit overwhelming as your orgasm is creeping up on you. Moving your legs you open them wider and grab his hair and you hold his head still. Gojo lets out a filthy moan feeling your clit pulsing on his tongue. Rising your hips to grind yourself against his mouth, you're reduced to a mess of broken moans and he lets you think you have control. Sliding his tongue frantically around your lips he flicks and sucks at your clit. The tightening you feel on your lower stomach has you feeling hot all over, a thin veil of sweat is covering the both of you. Your voice replacing the silence of the once serene room, now all that's heard is a mix of your moans and the sound of hard rain hitting the window. As you're about to fall off the edge of pure bliss he stops his movements. "I thought I told you not to move your legs" he taunts ripping your near orgasm away. He gives your cunt a gentle slap and you want to cry. "Gojo I was so close what the fuck." the pitch of your voice is higher than usual signaling your annoyance. Tears threatening to spill at your frustration.

"Oh I'm Gojo now" he says chuckling "don't break my heart like that you just looked so cute. I wanted a better view." Sitting on his knees a lustful shiver runs down his spine while he looks at you, eyes crinkling as he smiles. Dragging two of his thick fingers against your heated cunt to gathering some of your wetness. He gently starts prodding at your opening. Slipping one finger in to the first knuckle. You let out a small hiss at the intrusion- chills start prickling your skin. A sinister grin present as he watches you move your hips against his hand. "I don't think one is enough for you, angel. Huh?" sultry voice laced with a smile he adds a second finger. "I have to make sure you're ready, sweetheart" the white haired male says while changing his position to hover over you. His long thick fingers are reaching depths yours never have. Pumping his fingers in and out of your wet cunt the squelching sounds bouncing off the walls would have embarrassed you. But the way he curls his fingers, mercilessly abusing that special spot inside you has you in a daze. Pleasure creeping up again you feel the coil start to tighten. Gojo is desperately kissing you, wanting to see how you look coming for him. He's loved every minute, second of how your body has responded to his touch. Breathy moans escaping your mouth you look up at him "please let me cum, please, please" body quivering - voice desperate. His eyes widen at your words barely recognizing your voice. A new sense of urgency hits him, he has to make you finish and fast, before he's coming in his boxers without fucking you. Taking his fingers out of you, he moves them desperately over your clit. "My pretty girl, I know you're gonna feel amazing around me once I'm done here. Aren't you?". You're not processing his words blinded by the pleasure you're feeling. Just left a babbling mess of "Yes-yes-yes" and "I'm gonna cum". And then it hits you, the power of your orgasm flooding all your senses. Tremors wracking your body, breathing heavy. You hear Gojos tender voice saying your name and then you feel his warm lips over yours. "Are you alright, Angel?" covering your face with your hands you let out a small "yeah" with a low laugh.

Giving your forehead a light kiss he backs up, finally letting his cock spring free from the confines of his boxers. The view in front of you made your heart skip a beat. He bit his lip, holding back teasing remarks at your surprised expression. "I can't wait to have you cream all over my cock" he says. The admission made your throat go dry. eyes exploring every inch of pale skin. Giving himself a few pumps, he runs his cock against your cunt for lubrication. Bringing himself to hover over you, he aligns himself with your entrance. He wanted to go slow, but the desperation in him is winning; fully sheathing himself in you with one thrust. Both releasing a moan as your hips settle against each other you wrap your legs around his waist. You feel even better than he could have ever imagined.

You really are perfect he thinks. The strongest sorcerer in existence is just putty in your hands. You could mold him to whatever you want and he’d do it. But you always let him know he’s perfect being who he is. He plants both of his hands on either side of you and takes a look at you. Eyes locking together you’re softly smiling at him. And he really thinks he doesn’t deserve someone as perfect as you. But if anyone dares to even look at your direction in a wrong way he knows he’d end them. The room is silent for a moment, it’s as if you’d read his mind. You bring one of your arms to wrap around his back and tangle the other one in his messy hair. Pulling him down towards you to connect your lips together. Saliva connecting you both, eyes hooded in pleasure looking back at leaves him picking his thrusts back up. The sound of skin slapping and moans filling the room.

“This pussy was made for me. You’re mine, pretty.” Sucking in a sharp breath feeling your cunt get tighter around his cock at his words. “You like hearing that don’t you?” Trying to escape his intense gaze you try to look somewhere else but he quickly has your chin between his fingers making you look at him. Raising his brow he waits for an answer. “Yes, yes. I’m yours Satoru” you speak bashfully.

”I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you. And before you ask, yes I’m yours.” he says in his usual teasing lilt. You would laugh at his last sentence and question how can he sound sound so calm while he’s balls deep in you. But the way his cock feels - the way his pelvis is rubbing your clit steals any coherent thoughts you would have. Cock plunging deep inside of you dragging deliciously against your walls. Whispering sweat nothings in your ear, voice low and raspy. Sweat covered bodies moving in sync. The stinging you’re causing by dragging your nails down his back breaking his skin have him moaning into your mouth. He will only be this vulnerable with you, no one else will ever get this side of him.

Having his infinity on all day, everyday has left his skin so sensitive to touch. And being able to have those walls down around someone is something he’d thought he wouldn’t be able to enjoy. But here he has you under him, leaving angry red marks down his back, pulling at his hair and biting his lips in a passion filled frenzy. You really are his piece of personal heaven.

Every time he pulls his hips back you miss the way he fills and stretches you. Slender fingers holding you at your hips loving how soft you feel under his fingers. Kiss growing sloppier by the second while you grab fistfuls of his hair. He’s kissing his way down to your chest to swirl his warm tongue against your peaked nipple while he pinches the other one with his free hand. The feeling of his cock plunging into the soft plush of your cunt is driving him crazy. Languid rolls of his hips has you arching your back wanting to feel him go even deeper. “You don’t have to hold back. I’m not made of glass” you say feeling heat spread under your skin - fingers dancing over his back in a loving matter. The deep chuckle he lets out against the shell of your ear sent chills down your spine. As his strong arms tense holding him up he gives you a deep sharp thrust that steals you of your breath. “More like that sweetheart?” he says with a coy tone. Hips snapping against yours with such force that its forming ripples against your skin heavy balls slapping your ass. He’s intently watching your face contort into one of pleasure. He knows you’re getting near, orgasm building up, the way you’re clamping down on his cock has him struggling to focus. Your eyes snap shut and your head falls back into his pillows as the tip of his cock starts bullying that special spot inside of you. “Right there, right there. Ah-ah” you’re practically screaming out. He could feel his cock twitching, his own undoing nearing. His merciless rhythm combined with his sweet words pushes you over the edge. Eyes rolling to the back of your head, heels digging in his back. Strangled noises coming from you unable to form a coherent sentence. Gojo feels your walls fluttering and that’s the trigger to his orgasm. “Shit-shit” he pulls himself out of you at the last second he finishes on your stomach. Looking at the mess between your thighs and now on your stomach he gives you an apologetic smile for the mess. Coming down from all the events that have transpired you admire Gojos snow colored hair as it’s sitting wild against his sweat covered forehead. Drinking in how he looks. Pale skin tinged pink with the aftermath of his orgasm. His delicate voice shakes you from your thoughts “let’s go get cleaned up, sweet Angel. Well with the noises you were making I don’t think you sounded like one. I wonder if the neighbors heard you” he voices in an aloof manner. “Oh well free show for them.” he says looking at you with a lovesick look on his face.

You grab and throw one of his pillows at him. “Shut up, Satoru. Let’s just go get washed up please. I don’t even want to think about that” you say sounding nervous.

“I’m just kidding baby” he smiles looking at you then faintly whispering “maybe”.

Pt.1

Pt.3

Pt.4

Pt.5

[desertdollranch]

Opening and reviewing my first Australian Girl doll

She spent more than a month in a box, making her way halfway across the world to her new home, and now here she is! I'm so relieved that she arrived safely. It was the longest I've ever had to wait for a doll, and through much of her journey I didn't know where she was or when she would be here.

I don't want to drop too big of a spoiler, but listen to this........ she was so worth the wait, and the money. This doll instantly won my heart with how exquisite she is in every way.

Australian Girl dolls were specially made for Australian children, by Helen Schofield, a grandmother who loved dolls. She created the brand when she couldn't find an age appropriate doll that was locally available or good quality. So she created these dolls to help children feel pride in Australian culture, while teaching them about friendship and empathy. There are five girls to befriend--Amy, Jasmine, Emily, Bronte, and Matilda, each representing a different region of the country, ethnicity, and lifestyle.

The company itself has quite high standards. They strive to reduce waste in their product packaging, and they use a factory in China that treats its workers humanely and does not use child labor.

If you've been around my blog for a while, you know how much I love collecting diverse brands and types of play dolls, especially international dolls. Also, this one will be extra special because I actually have an Australian grandmother--she's also a doll collector, and I'm looking forward to showing her my new doll the next time I see her.

After the cut, I'll show you who she is, and talk about why I chose her. I'll compare her with similar-sized dolls as well, and have her do some dressing up.

Before we get to the unboxing, let's check out the little goodies included with my doll.

First is a little pamphlet explaining why the dolls are special, but also represent real girls growing up in Australia.

There's another pamphlet about how to care for your doll.

All of the dolls come with a fun freebie: this cute pair of thongs.

Another freebie (a $30 AUD value) is this very sturdy doll carrier with pockets for accessories.

I also bought a pair of sneakers for my new girl. I figured her feet would be a bit larger than my other dolls, and these are cute, so she now has three pairs of shoes to wear.

Anyway. Enough of the small stuff. Let's let her out of the box.

It's Amy from Adelaide!

I chose Amy after three entire years of being indecisive and going back and forth on exactly which Australian Girl I wanted. They're all equally adorable, so I picked Amy because her personality seems very sweet, and I love that she has mixed heritage. According to the Austrlaian Girl dolls website, Amy's family tree is a mix of Aboriginal and Dutch on her mother's side, and English and Indian/Fijian on her father's side. Very representative of modern Australia!

I have no regrets. She is perfect!!! Just the most charming little angel. I am officially WOWED.

I'm seriously impressed at the superior quality of her construction. I understand why she was priced a bit higher than similar dolls. She is, from head to toe, beautifully made, with so many sweet details. Her dress and shoes are also impeccably made and feel very durable.

Her hair is flawless. It's a Kanekalon wig with loose curls, in a gorgeous shade of brown. Her eyes open and close. She has both painted and attached eyelashes.

She has a gap between her big toe and the next toe, so she can wear her sandals and thongs.

Her elbows are dimpled and she has subtle blush color on parts of her skin, including elbows and hands.

She has a crease across her palm.

She has articulation at her shoulders, hips, and neck. Her limbs, head, and shoulders are vinyl, and she has a huggable soft tummy. I don't really have a strong preference for either cloth torsos, vinyl torsos, or half and half like Amy. They all have pros and cons. This specific construction is nice in that she can wear low-neckline clothes without showing a cloth body, but it does make her harder to repair in case she has to be fixed.

I have a pretty good idea of what she'll be wearing when she's ready to change out of her pink party dress.

The first photo shows her in a dress I made. The second is a Maplelea dress and hat. The rest are all American Girl brand clothing, except for the shoes. Amy can comfortably wear most stretchy clothes by AG and similar brands like Our Generation, but her feet absolutely will not fit AG, OG, or Maplelea shoes.

The exception to the clothes is some of the tighter pieces. This AG shirt did not fit well. Amy's shoulders are a bit more broad than smaller dolls, and so without some extra give this is too tight.

Amy is 20 inches/51 centimeters tall. Here she is next to my Our Generation doll Jordana. I'm using an OG doll because they're actually available locally in Australia. Whereas American Girl dolls, which I usually use when I compare brands, have to make an overseas journey. So it's only fair that I consider any Australians reading this now who are wondering how Amy compares.

Amy is tall, but not the tallest doll in the family! Here she is next to Fernanda, my Karito Kids doll, who is about an inch taller although slimmer. Karito Kids dolls are in fact just slightly skinnier than American Girl dolls, so they have a much easier time sharing clothes.

In conclusion, I highly highly recommend this doll. She's absolutely sublime! I'm so thrilled to have her here, and I'm looking forward to having lots of adventures with her.

Obviously I'm far from Australia, but my Amy will still live her life as if she were in a suburb outside of the city of Adelaide. I've been looking at pictures of the geography of the state of South Australia, and there are some places in the mountainous parts that look pretty similar to the desert southwest where I live. So Amy will have no idea she's actually in the USA. Don't tell her the truth!

[tommykinard6]

I don't mean to pile onto your bad day but I've been seeing a lot of creators on tiktok complain/compare the bucktommy and henren tags/fic count on ao3 because there's almost more bucktommy fics then there are henren fics. The number one claim is always that bucktommy writers are racist because we don't write for henren. But like, that's not correct at all? People can write fanfiction for whatever they want to. If they want to see more henren stuff then they can write it on their own.

We can coexist without fighting each other. I'm just tired of people screaming about how bucktommy is anti this or anti that, when we're just vibing by ourselves and don't want the drama but the drama finds us anyway because Sucky People are loud and get heard the most.

You’re good, anon. It actually gave me something to think about during work.

As a quick disclaimer, before we begin, I’m not a POC. I am not speaking for anyone in the Black community and am not attempting to speak over them. My following thoughts are as a queer woman-ish who is also a writer.

I think it must be noted that Hen and Karen have been overlooked since day one. The fact that Buck coming out made it the “gay firefighter show” when we’ve had a beautiful canonical lesbian couple since the very beginning? Is only proof. Is this proof of racism in the fandom? Maybe. Quite possibly. I would argue that it comes from a misogynistic point as well.

If you look in any fandom, regardless of the color of their skin, any wlw ship is horribly overlooked. I’ve done some tag searching on ao3. Straight and mlm ships battle for dominance while there are canonical and fanonical wlw ships that have a drastic difference in numbers. This isn’t a good thing. But it’s an experience that spans fandoms.

I find it sad that BuckTommy has almost more fics, with only two episodes under their belt, than Henren with 7 seasons. However, this isn’t a reason to hate on BuckTommy. The ship didn’t do anything wrong. Comparison is the thief of joy and it’s also rage bait. I think that some creators simply are using anything they can to hate on BuckTommy. Which that makes it sadder, that they aren’t concerned about Henren other than pushing their own agenda.

This isn’t to say all creators who are speaking about this are doing this, but I guarantee some are.

Now, let me speak as a writer.

As someone with 62 published fics on ao3, I write almost exclusively mlm ships. This isn’t because I hate women. And as a queer woman-ish, don’t even start about homophobia. But for some reason, I find it so much easier to write men than I do to write women. This is true for straight and wlw ships and also just in general. I love Henren, but I don’t have the faintest idea about how to write them.

It’s hard enough to write as it is and I’m already writing on ships that are easy for me. I try to write women and it just hasn’t come out right. I want to challenge myself, branch out, and maybe I’ll write for Henren to do that. But I say all this to point out that for some people like me, writing some ships and demographics of ships are just a little more difficult.

That leads me into something else.

I, as a white person, worry about accidentally writing non-white characters wrong. And this was reinforced not too long ago when we had that whole thing on ao3 with deliberate racism in 9-1-1 fics. If anyone has resources or advice for writing non-white characters, I would love to hear that! The last thing I want to do is cause any harm.

I feel like I’ve spoken a lot about me, but that’s because I can’t really speak for anyone else. I can only speak from my experience.

We already have a ship war between BuckTommy and Buddie. We don’t need to pit more people against each other. I think we can love BuckTommy while agreeing that Henren needs to be seen and appreciated and treated equally.

End note to say: I tried to speak as delicately and as sensitively as I could, but if anything came out wrong, please feel free to point it out (kindly). Again, I speak for no one but my very little section of the world. I’m interested to hear what people of other backgrounds have to add!

[dandelion-blues]

Bittersweet Blood

About:

What if Loki was Sally Jackson? Thus, Percy is born a half-blood of two gods from differing patheons. It's time Loki and Percy took the Marvel Universe by storm.

First - Previous - Next Chapter

Chapter 2, Part 2: The Sea Protects

Loki breathes in deeply, amazed that he is breathing in water, as he does air. The currents around them swell, and fish swim all around him in shimmering colors - their bioluminescence lighting up the dark depths of the ocean, and glowing plants sway in the currents, the colors lighting up the waters. 

However, this is nothing compared to the palace in front of Loki. It glows, showing its proud and majestic features. Jewels and pearls decorate its exterior tastefully, with stone carved beautifully as crafted art of the tides and oceans and life. Somehow, yet, the palace still looks daunting, its beautiful exterior a beautiful mask, hiding dangerous points and defenses with a carefree grace when one begins to look more closely at its majesty. 

“Enjoying the view, my απατεών (“shark”),” Poseidon grins at Loki’s awe of his kingdom. His “human” form shed to his simple mer form, with now dark cobalt skin sparkling with dark golden highlights, and his two twin tails grace the water. His long black hair now has a hint of blue in it, and his eyes reflect the deep dark waters around them. He, however, does not change to his royal attire or complete royal form that Loki has seen before, all sparkling and brilliant and deadly, as they need to stay inconspicuous for now. 

Though, Poseidon is still 15 feet tall, about 3 ft taller than the average mer person, and Loki is 6’2”, so they are still bound to stick out a bit.

“Shark,” Loki rolls his eyes once again grateful for Allspeak, “You really couldn’t come up with a better nickname my ᚲᛚᛟᚹᚾ ᚠᛁᛋᚺ.”

“Yet you call me clown fish,” Poseidon rolls his eyes, but looks at Loki fondly, “Besides sharks are a dangerous beauty, much like you are αγαπητε μου (“my dear”).”

Loki’s cheeks heated up, despite himself, “Yes, while clown fish was mainly to jab at your striking sense of humor, I know that clownfish are protective fathers, and you will do whatever it takes for the safety of our child.” 

Loki holds his still flat stomach tenderly and looks fiercely into Poeidon’s beautiful deep greens, “It's why you blessed me to breathe underwater, even when I would have been fine due to my asgardian biology adjusting to the new environment much like how I can survive in space for long periods of time without air, you didn’t want to risk the baby. ᚺᛖᛚ (“Hel”), we are here under the sea to get help for our child in the first place. You are already an amazing father, my lovely ᚲᛚᛟᚹᚾ ᚠᛁᛋᚺ.” Loki adds on with a sincere smile.

Poseidon's cheeks heat up, and he looks at Loki bashfully. Then, he seems to come to a revelation, “I knew you secretly liked Finding Nemo!”

“I-I don’t,” Loki states indignantly, “I just think that Marlin’s parenting is admirable, with how much he cares even when his child is different.” Loki then gets lost in his thoughts, wishing that, despite his differences, his father Odin was that protective and loving. Alas, that isn’t the case, and Loki sighs. 

Poseidon senses Loki’s change in mood and goes to squeeze his hand comfortingly.

Loki looks into Poseidon’s worrying eyes, “I-I’m fine Poseidon. Now, let’s go and meet your family.” Loki squeezes Poseidon’s hand back reassuringly, and lets go. Then, Loki breathed in and straightened his back, the posture and stance fit for a prince, and walked (swam?) into the palace with grace.

Luckily, the visit wasn’t unexpected for Amphitrite nor Triton. They just didn’t know the circumstances or who they were meeting with Poseidon. Although, it still came as a surprise that with Poseidon came the Norse god Loki walking side by side together into the throne room. 

Loki bowed politely, “Pleased to meet you, your royalties, Queen Amphtrite and High Prince Triton of the seas. I am Prince Loki Odinson of Asgard.”

They quickly got over their shock, though, and bowed to Loki as fellow god royals, “Greetings Prince Loki Odinson of Asgard.”

Amphtrite asked, “Now what brings you here, Prince Loki.”

Loki takes a shaky go to open his mouth to speak, and nothing comes out. He tries again, and he can’t speak. He looks to Poseidon for support.

But Amphitrite cuts in warmly, “Why don’t we go somewhere more comfortable since I feel this will be a tough discussion.” 

Then, she leads them into a comfortable room with soft chairs to sit at, placed around a simple round table in the middle of the room. It's all soft blues and greens, with a sandy wall, groves carved into it like ocean waves, and a soft floor of sand with simple plants to the sides, and bioluminescence all placed smartly on the ceiling and walls like shimmering pearls to light to room up enough for comfort.

Amphirtite looks patiently at Poseidon and Loki once they are all seated down. Her gorgeous golden hair like beach-grass pinned back in nets of pearls and silk, a circlet of polished sharp red crab claws across her brow. She smiled at them warmly, her deep blue eyes like sapphires in calming pools, and her seafoam green skin was decorated in jewels and fineries. Her emerald tails draped in pearls and in silks moved calmly, but her ruby spiked fins and scales glint dangerously as her red circlet - showing her deadly grace and power. 

Triton for now remains silent, and places his seafoam green arms with golden bracers on his forearms much like his mother’s on his lap, his two green twin tails unmoving, their golden highlights much like his father’s sparkle in the room's bioluminescence. His dark blue eyes like the hidden depth of the oceans stare steely ahead, part of his hair pulled back in a ringlet of pearls and a small circlet of golden corral remains atop his head, his dark green hair behind his webbed ears cascading down to his shoulders.

Both of them, much like Poseidon, are dwarfing Loki in height and size, even though they are both around a foot shorter than Poseidon.

Loki takes a deep breath, looks to Poseidon and sees his nod, and tells them everything.

Notes:

Do I care that Finding Nemo came out in 2003? No, because comparing Poseidon to a clownfish was needed here, and was cute as heck, and I don't regret it.

Also, I decided to have Amphitrite have blonde hair instead of black because I thought it would fit her, and the mix between yellow or blonde and blue gets Triton's green which is fun.

Loki may or may not have a crush on the beautiful goddess.

First - Previous - Next Chapter

[sallowtheories]

Where is the Sallow family from?

This was a question that came up, while I was learning about Sebastian and his name, and while I was researching his parents. And though I may not have a definitive answer to where Sebastian and used to live with their parents, I have several theories as to where the Sallow family could be from. To do this, I once again returned to the surname Sallow. As we all know as per my last post: What does Sebastian's name mean?, Sallow is a type of willow tree. As many of you may know, surnames came about for many different reasons. Harry Potter’s surname comes from the Potter family, who can trace their male line all the way back to Linfred of Stinchcombe. The surname Potter came about, due his nickname, “The Potterer”, that came about due to his potion making skills.

Surnames can also come about, due to were people live, and in the case of Sallow, that seemed to be what was happening:

With that information in mind, I went on the hunt. Knowing that Sebastian’s surname is Sallow, a speficinc type of willow, I started looking for what could be willow trees around the map of Hogwarts Legacy. And interestingly, I found a few places that could have been the original spot for the Sallow family, long before Sebastian’s time. The theorized places are as followed:

Somewhere close to North Bog Ford or South Sea Bog

Cragcroft

Feldcroft

Somewhere close to North Bog Ford or South Bog Sea

You may be asking yourself; “why the North Bug Ford or South Bog Sea?”, which is an understandable question, because they are, well, bugs. And when you travel around these two places, there doesn’t seem to be many places the wizard kind could live. The air is thick and hard to look through, and has this green, yellow, grayish color… wait… it’s that also what sallow means? This sickly color that is everywhere in the bogs? To be honest, that was the first place I thought of when I first learned what Sallow means. Could people living in these bug areas, where the sun have a hard time coming through the thick sickly colored fog, have skin that looks sallow? Maybe, but that would not a very nice thing name your family after. No, I think there’s another reason, which is tied to the bug areas.

Willow trees are known for growing in specific areas, and according to Tree For Life, willow trees likes to growing in;

So a bog area would make sense. That’s why we often see willow trees around bog areas, and why some (at least me), find that bogs and willows go hand in hand. And I’m no Nevil Longbottom (and will never claim to be. I just use Google for this), but the trees in bug areas look quite a lot like willow trees.

North Bog Ford:

South Sea Bog:

These places are FILLED with what my untrained eye can only guess to be willow trees. Although the South Bog seems to have lost a few compared to the North Bog…

Could it be possible, that the founders of the Sallow family, used to live in one of the bog areas, and were known for living close to willow trees? Could they have been healers, that knew of the healing properties willow has, and took on the name Sallow, as for the trees they used in their trade? Not impossible, but still not a full yes.

Cragcroft

I’ve had a suspicion that the Sallow family could have hailed from Cragcroft for one specific reason, and I think many of you may have guessed it already - The Giant Shade.

Now, there’s not much to go off in Cragcroft, other than the fact that there is a much beloved tree called the Giant Shade. The field guide has this to say about the tree:

It says nothing about what kind of tree it is, nor how old it is, so why have I decided to mention it? Well, because to my untrained eye, it looks like a willow tree. A giant willow tree. And I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve always loved willows for their shade. But alas, this still doesn’t prove anything, but just makes it a possible place of theory.

Feldcroft

I am under the firm believe that there’s a lot more that ties Sebastain and his family to Feldcroft, than just the fact that he lived there with Anne and Solomon, and here are some of the things I’ve noticed. So much that I might actually have to make a part two to this one at one point. Now, there’s a lot, so hold on tight.

Now, let us start with what we know - Sallow means a specific type of willow. But as you may notice when in Feldcroft is a distinct lack of willow trees. But there are two trees that are quite different from the others. The tree by Morganach Manor, and one right opposite the ruins of the manor, right behind the home of Solomon.

And is it just me, or do they look like willow trees?

Now, it is here that it gets very interesting, and you will have to hold on for dear life.

If you go to the tree behind Solomon’s house, you’ll find that hippogriffs are nesting in the area. But what else you might notice, is that they are nesting in the old ruins of what looks like the base of an old stone house. A stone house, with an area almost the same size as Morganach manor, with what looks like a willow tree growing in the middle of it.

There’s ruins all over the world of Hogwarts Legacy, so what should make this different from these others? Well, I couldn’t find anything specific in the ruins other than the tree, that could be tied to the Sallow family, but it is always fun to speculate. And if this tree and house is tied to the Sallow family, than their family story would go much further back than the Morganachs - or at least what we know of the Morganachs and Sallows in Feldcroft. Yes, I said the Morganachs and the Sallows. Because just like the Potters, the Dumbledores, the Peverells all lived in Godric’s Hallow and found themselves connected throughout the story, I believe that the Morganachs and the Sallows are connected. But that’s a theory for another day. All I can say is that it involves the ruins right behind Morganach Manor and what I believe is the ruins of what could be considered Sallow Manor, the Feldcroft catacombs and two famous wizards and a famous witch from wizarding history.

[martinys-world]

The Girl

this is my first time ever to wright this on tumblr. let me know if you are want to see more. I have a whole back story to this. This is not proof read, so please let me know if there a mistake I want to see if it worth working on.

“You get everyone to the ship and escape with the key.”

One ape hand it to another. 

“what happening.”

“What about you. “

“I will distract scrope and his terracons as long as I can. It will give you and the others a chance to esape.”

I wont let you be left behind. Scrouge will kill you. My sacrifice will be nothing compared to what unicron can do with the key...

“ we need a …..”

Slinceing the other ape.

“ you are there leader now.” 

“ now go” 

With the idea of knowing there was no debate let alone time. ran. Leaveing the only place they called home. that will be devour by unicorn the planet eating monster. 

“ahh.” Hand covering my face. Trying to protect my self even thought it would do nothing. I felt a chil was what It felt like. The one that get you spinal core to shake. 

Looking back at the runaway ape did not see me.  I have to be dreaming. 

Then there this metal man robot. Is this a terrcon. What going why dose this look real. Is he losing what going on. 

“ please, stop fighting.” 

Everything was muggy. I don’t understand what going on but one thing was clear. No one is leaveing this fight alive. Everything happen so fast. They were both standing up and now one is loseing a battle that he cant win. 

Sound of a rocket was happing like it was blasting off. 

“ your not getting the key.”

“Today I won’t but my master with have a feast with your planet.”

I was running to the ape theat was laying on the ground. I couldn’t let him feel pain while he was dieing. I know none of these metal or anmials being cant see me. but dosent me I would sit back and do nothing. The one that won. Was melting something on him. He just became a blur. 

I slip pass his legs. If that was what they called them. I was at the apes face. 

“ what do I do? What can I do?”

“ put your hand on him and breathe.”

Spinning around. Trying to find something to show any type of alive or being. 

“wh-“

“If you want him to not be in pain anymore, just put your hand on him.”

I heard a groan. I will slove that voice mystery later. Put my hand on him I felt him skin want cold but smooth and warm. Surprisingly but what shock me more was the area my hand was. It was glowing and a green color. 

“huh?” 

Out of my instinct I want to pull away but the ape groan out of relief. Like he was in less pain. 

I knew that I was doing something. what would happen if I used both of my hands. I lift my hand. And place not tnext to mine but in the same level as mine. I felt eyes on me I  was next to his eye or what ever its called. Two eyes staring at one. 

“ midnight star.” 

Instead of correcting him. Knowing his time is running out.

“ its going to be okay. relax its going to be okay.”

I sounded confident but I was far from that. 

“you were always a star. in the darkest of times.”

For that slipt moment it steam like he accepted his death but wasn’t alone. I have no clue who he is but i am just glad he not alone or in a lot a pain. I saw the light shirnking as it seem like these minutes. Are turning to hours. I don’t care how long I knew the least I could do was make bearable. He closed his eyes for the final time and whisper his last sound in this life. 

“ thank you.”  

I pulled my hands back after his skin turned cold.  I was crying. I knew I was crying because there was not much I could do. I mean almost everyone cries when they see someone died, But this was different type of crying. Like I lost a friend but I never seen him before.

“sliver”

I fell to my knees in front of his eyes. It started to get windy. I wouldn’t have notice if a golf ball sized rock hit me in the side of my head.   turning to see what all the rush was about. This golden sphere was coming closer. And the center was opening up and there was rocks. My brain wasn’t comprehending what was happening. 

“Unicorn!!”

Chatper : (2)

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Matchup for bg3! Please! 💜

She/they, bisexual

I have blueish-gray eyes with red hair that's in a side shave (like one side on my hair is shaved). I am chubby, I have tons of freckles except on my face. I like wearing emo style clothes or comfy clothes like hoodies and sweats. I hate dresses and shorts, I don't like showing off skin.

Likes: anything with drawing/painting, games including board games.

Dislikes: uhhh spiders, driving (I refuse to get a driver's license it's a huge fear of mine.) I'm not scared of being in a car just driving it.

Isfp-t, I am a cancer. People say I have rbf (resting bitch face). Though I am really nice to people, unless they mess with the people I care about then I couldn't care less about them. I try to be helpful when I can. When I am around people I know, I can be loud and talkative (the loud part isn't on purpose it's just when I'm happy or excited). I tend to put people a lot before myself. I don't really like talking about my personal issues to anyone and can be known as the therapy friend. It's the opposite though when I'm around people I don't know, I'll be quiet and not wanting to interact. I have adhd, depression and anxiety (wonderful I know). When I do get upset I don't talk and won't interact until I have calmed down. I do cuss a lot though I'm more careful when I'm around kids/people I don't know. If I have a fight with someone I prefer to sit and talk it out and hate it when they walk away from me when I'm just trying to talk to them.

If you need more info just message me! Thank you! 💜

A/N: You didn’t specify which gender result you’d prefer, but since you mentioned you’re bisexual, I included my top male and female picks below! I hope you enjoy!!!

For you, @veethewriter , I think you’d be a great match for either Halsin (Male) or Shadowheart (Female)!

ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ Halsin would be a great fit for you! He’s kind and very artistic himself. And while he enjoys woodwork the most, I think he’d appreciate an afternoon of drawing or painting with you outside in the grove. Many Wood Elves, like Halsin, have either red or brown-hued hair, so he’s used to seeing such a color on people. However, he swears no other elf can compare with how gorgeous your hair color is. And he finds your side shave particularly alluring. He also adores your figure. He is a big guy, he’s tall and very muscular, and can’t help but want to hold and pick you up and squish you (if you’d let him that is). Your supple shape reminds him of nature’s bountiful harvest.

And while he himself has absolutely no qualms about showing off his skin, he respects your desire not to. Not everyone is as comfortable free of the confines of clothing as he is, this he’s well aware of. He’s always on the lookout for organic, comfortable elven clothing he could gift you.

And the good thing about Faerun is the fact that there aren't any cars. If you want to go somewhere, you’ll need wheels, heels, or a spell of some sort. (Or if you’re lucky, a druid boyfriend who can transform into different rideable wild animals. Can you imagine, strolling up to town on the back of a big brown bear? No one would mess with you! lol)

I’m not 100% decided on Halsin’s MBTI. Part of me feels he’s introverted, then again, he’s very willing to meet and work to help others- strangers even, so long as they’re kind and help him in return. I do, however, feel pretty confident that he’s a Feeler as well, so you have one letter out of the four for sure in common. And the two of you are also very open-minded, which he loves. Halsin can’t see himself in a romantic relationship with someone if they were to be angry and close-minded. An on/off sexual relationship? Sure. But for him to have that deeper kind of love, you’d need to be tolerant- which you are!

I also imagine him to be a Taurus, which furthers how compatible he is with you- a cancer. You two are so in love, it’s almost spiritual, like a soulmate sort of connection. No matter how sad or moody (or emo as you said) you can get, his steady and stable temperament will help comfort you, and ground you in times of great emotion.

Halsin, as an archdruid, is kind of the “Dad friend” of the Grove and his Party. He’s the one people turn to for advice and mentorship. You being the therapy friend understand the toll this can take. You’re able to support each other and lavish each other with much-needed rest and recovery when the demands of everyone’s emotional sharing/dumping become too much to take.

Halsin is a very focused and rather positive person, which can be a direct contrast to you with your ADHD and depression. But that’s a really good thing because, for all the things you forget, he remembers. And for all the times your illness and life get you down, he’s right there to pick you back up, or even just ride it out with you until the feelings pass. His presence radiates calm- he’s like a walking talking security blanket. If you’re feeling anxious, you can grab his hand, or have him lay on top of you for some compression therapy (don’t worry, he’s supporting 95% of his weight himself so as to not accidentally crush you lol).

He appreciates how mindful you are around the little ones. It makes his heart flutter. And he can’t help but think what it would be like to be in a family of his own with you one day.

♥ ♡ ♥ Shadowheart is quiet and determined. She’s reserved, especially around strangers, and she puts on a good front, but deep down she’s a sweet girl with a traumatic past. She doesn’t like talking about it too much (that is of course, if she remembers it), but for some reason, she’s more okay sharing such things with you.

She’s not very extroverted or loud, but she can appreciate it when you are. Your joy is infectious, and it’s something she hasn’t felt in a while, so she wants to do everything in her power to make you happy because when you’re happy- she’s happy.

And oh boy does she need therapy! As the therapy friend, she greatly appreciates your ability to listen and not judge when she does talk about her past or her feelings. Being raised in a cult is complicated, and there’s A LOT to process there. It’s gonna take time, and thanks to your open-minded demeanor, she feels safe enough to do a fair amount of it with you.

As a cancer, you and Shadowheart are very compatible romantically as I see her as an Aquarius. Both of you are smart, and devoted, and have a lot of feelings. The main difference is in how those feelings come out. For you, it’s easier to emote than it is for her. But that’s good. When you’re too emotional, she’s ready to reel you back in. And when she’s being too cold, you can help pull her out of her shell.

Shadowheart also has a ‘resting bitch face’, but that doesn’t mean she’s judging everyone. Okay, maybe she’s judging everyone a little bit, but to be fair there are a lot of peculiar characters out there and one can never be too safe! The two of you rarely get any trouble from strangers because you are too tough to mess with. From your more emo style to her ‘dont-fuck-with-me’ attitude, absolutely no one’s gonna be crossing you!

Shadowheart herself probably has a slew of health concerns and mental illnesses that she has yet to address. I imagine, that once she comes to learn the truth of her past, she is at increased risk for anxiety and depression. So weirdly, it’s almost a blessing her partner knows what it’s like living with these things. Your experience shows her that life can and does go on. And she doesn’t want to spend the rest of her with anyone other than you.

[epickiya722]

[NOTE: This is long! This is an actual ask about Mineta and among other things that I thought maybe some of you may be interested in reading, but because the font is in orange (due to Tumblr glitching out on Anon and their autism) I'm posting it like this. I'm not too bothered by the color, but I'm sure there are others who may find it unreadable. Now, you do not have to read it. And if you do read it, you may comment or just send me an ask ONLY if you're polite. Don't attack anyone over this. No matter how you may feel about Mineta, BNHA, Horikoshi, a dog, a cat, ANYTHING or ANYONE... DO NOT BE DISRESPECTFUL. Please keep any of your comments that you know are rude to yourself. And now, you may proceed if you choose to.]

Horikoshi said once in some interview that mineta is essentially a self-insert. Coincidentally, early-mha horikoshi had some pretty pervy tendencies (much like mineta—probably why he thought it would be cool to have such a character never really face consequences). The most famous example of this is probably the girls hero costumes, most notably Yaoyorozu. He mentions in an aside very early on in the story (volume three or something?) that he can’t seem to help himself and her boob window always gets bigger every time he draws it. Then there’s uraraka saying she didn’t want such a tight costume, Hagakure being naked, etc. When the anime started airing there was another interview where he said he really appreciated them making uraraka curvier than in the manga, because he likes curvy women. One could also use midnight and mount lady as examples of this but I’d say it’s more of a way of discussing mature themes surrounding hero society and all of its consequences rather than actual sexualisation. Something that sets him apart, even at this early stage, from other shonen mangakas is that he doesn’t only do this to the women, but the men as well. If Yaoyorozus hero costume is revealing, what about kirishimas (this comparison is my favourite because they both need skin showing for their quirks to function well, so why is one considered bad and the other fine? Because one is a boy and one is a girl? Please keep in mind I am not trying to say that kirishima is sexualized. It’s just food for thought)? If urarakas suit is considered too tight, then look at all might. You could probably see the outline of his dick from fifteen yards away when he wears that costume. Then there’s mineta, who makes certain comments regarding the women in his class. But what about mount lady and how she treats shoto? Or one of the wild wild pussy cats asking the boys in class 1-A how old they are to see how long til she can marry them? Unlike basically every other shonen out there, the sexualisation (at least as far as I can tell) is not based in sexism. It’s across the board, and we only notice it more when it happens to women because we are used to it happening to women.

For a long time, I hated horikoshi for the same reasons I hated mineta (it was a love-hate relationship for obvious reasons). He was openly perverted and seemingly one of *those* guys. You know, the ones I’d be afraid to walk near after dark. Or before dark. But I still loved mha and really appreciated what he was doing within the story. As a side note, he writes the women very well, which is rare in shonen (again—love hate relationship with dear old horikoshi). But if you’ll notice, the farther along in the story you look, the less sexualisation there is. It’s gradual so you hardly notice, but compare volume four or five to volume thirty. The difference is stark. It’s not really that mineta has less lines (although since the war started that has been the case) he still talks, just differently.

I think what happened is, when mha started getting popular, horikoshi started seeing huge pushback to minetas character, which probably all came to a head when the anime made him say something super fucked up to eri. I don’t recall if it was in dub or sub or both, but reading back through the manga it’s a bit different and honestly could’ve been poor translation or my own misinterpretation. But in the anime it was clear what he meant. He can’t wait for eri to be older, for exactly the reason you’re thinking now. The process of horikoshi realizing his mistakes started long before this, though, and gradually you can watch him patch up the holes if you pay attention. The anime does a poor job of this, at least until season six. But around the time that season four ends (and this is present in the manga too) there is a scene of Mina tying mineta to a chair and forcing him to watch something. After that, the sexualisation in the manga is gone for good. I’d like to interpret this as horikoshi finalizing his realization and own personal character development. He is no longer pervy, just like mineta is no longer pervy.

The one exception to this rule is that infamous chapter cover. The one with Hagakure on the front? Yeah, when I saw that, it made me rethink all of this. For about two weeks I was convinced that I’d been wrong about it, and he really is just a pervert after all. But lo and behold, he said in an interview that he was running behind and didn’t have time to draw or pick a chapter cover. He handed a bunch of old concept art to one of the higher ups and told them to pick something. He said he was never expecting that drawing to see the light of day, and he figured they’d choose something a little more suited to the story. (A little fucked up that he drew that? Yes, I think so. But keep in mind, these are *old* drawings. People are allowed to change and, following this metric, I think horikoshi has changed quite a bit.)

All of this is to say, mineta is not really a bad person anymore, and also has incredible writing (whether it was purposeful from the beginning or a last minute change) which just goes to show how talented horikoshi really is.

[sameschmidtdiffname]

Split

08.19.23

Thudding, dull pain is something that reminds me I am alive

The emotions course through my veins in a way some may call sadistic

Trailing along my curved spine, I mentally picture someone there

Their face is blurred to me, their hand one I know not

Words drip from my mouth as though a leaking faucet

Our main difference being that many hear the repetitive tap against the bowl

The words that spill forth convey so much, yet those who read them realize so little

If I showed this to you, would you understand?

Would you know yourself of nights spent in unholy water, trying desperately to make up your mind

One hand grasping a razor

The other your own wrist

The mental debate one you've heard so many, too many times

Would you believe me if I told you how sore my able heart beats against the bones that are used against I and every woman?

Would you listen when I ponder how said bones resemble a grasp around us, the design effective and symbolic?

And while I let these thoughts drip from my red, swollen lips that tremble and bleed from the cracks I bite into them

Could you find Aphrodite in such an unabashed display of humanity?

Would you find beauty in the way the water spirals down my hair?

Would you take care to notice, stranger, how the color sets shame to fire, beautiful even in the artifical light?

Would you see my eyes, which I long to hear described poetically, peak between too long of bangs, tears trapped in blonde lashes that do not sit evenly

And see the rage that fuels me?

Would you find beauty in my nose as one once did

His words unlike any ever spoken to me

Held in a diary I've kept, used to decode myself and others

Would you run your hands along my body?

Not in a way to bring lust into your heart

But to tell me you see me

You feel me

Would you admire me as I admire you, stranger?

A figment created long ago when it became clear to me that when I cried, no one would come

Maybe this is why God the Father has created us

Maybe he too has spent endless nights in this porcelain trap

Tapping his head against a hollow wall

Begging for salvation

Maybe he too knows not what he did

Does God also have a father that damned him?

A mother that begged him?

Is this why he chose to send his child into the gallows?

All say mercy

I say an eye for an eye

Would you look into mine and see redemption?

Would you cup my aging face and tell me I've done nothing to cause this?

Would you press your forehead against mine and whisper the thoughts I whisper to others?

"You are not broken,

You are loved.

This world feels your warmth

And will one day allow you to exist without lessons to remind of how mortal you and I are"

In my mind, this figure takes the razor and places it away

Wrapping their arms around me

Allowing me to feel the air my lungs have refused to breathe

But in reality, my fingers are pruned and the razor taunts me

I am too weak, it knows

And I stare back, begging myself to show strength and allow myself to slip away in a crimson pond

In this pond, I dare the selfish thought of maybe being worth compared to the beauty of Ophilia

Would I be an example worthy of art then?

In my mind, the stranger carefully lifts me and wraps me in cloth that soothes my tender, self admired skin

In reality, my bones feel as though knives carve away the detested excess of my body

A body my mind knows not how to view

Mentally I lay in a soft bed

Sheets and pillows surrounding me as a stranger sings sweet songs to me

Combing through my hair

They trace shapes upon my cheeks, their touch making me smile

Physically I begin to see the water lap at the drains that prevent it from overflowing

The water and stinging tears the only warmth I'll ever deserve

I exist in two worlds

I always have

Since I was a child, I knew how to balance such things as this

But as I grow older I realize there is no point in such niceties

The delusion of love for me makes my back ache more and more

It was promised to me once

It was given to me

Yet this love was not for me

This love was for an idea

Now I live in fear I am but a horrible, intrusive thought

Something my makers conjure and bat away, uncomfortable with my existence

I chant and cry

"I am worth it! I am good!"

But silence is all that echos in this small room

Eyes look but they do not perceive

I am but a paperweight

Occupying space better taken by someone other than I

I wonder who all have died to allow me to continue living

Is there a limit to those who are allowed to be?

If so, why does God continue to let me take space?

"You are worthy," the stranger tells me

"I have done nothing," I respond

"You need not do anything to be worthy" he implores

"But I do; for why should I be given rewards with no work?"

In my dreams they pull me into their embrace and remind me of how much I do

How I burn pieces of myself to keep others warm

How I let others occupy space in my mind

Thinking of ways to make them happier with me

Even those I hate, I still long to see them smile at me

I long for their praise and I long to hear laughter as they feel joy that I have caused

I do not wish to be worshipped

No, I ask for something more selfish

I ask that I bring every person I meet happiness

True, unfiltered happiness

And in return, I ask for just one human to return the warmth to me I cannot help but give

"It is not selfish to be loved."

No, it is simply damning.

Yet this damnation is my favorite sin

I crave it as one would crave water or food

I would willingly sacrifice the latter for the former

And this sacrifice, which is not truly a sacrifice

Is one that brings me joy I cannot describe

Lean on me and I will feel useful

I will go to bed that night feeling worthy of my place in this world for but a moment

For when I wake, I will crave another dose

As is only natural for an addict

But reject me and I will reject myself in a way I do not know if Eve could have comprehended when the snake seduced her as they often do me

I will remind myself that this is not fair to anyone

How I deserve the pain that thuds and thuds against the cage made of Adam where I contain my selfishness

And this stranger looks at me with pity

But this stranger is myself

And I tell him "leave; no one is less worthy of this self indulgence than you."

Once more, the stranger disappears

And I sit here in this tub, finally free to press the blade to my vein

And free myself from this apple I would consume again and again

In a garden given to all but me

If only I wasn't a coward.