#i am mostly self taught in art but completely self taught in writing. all because i stopped feeling sorry for myself and said fuck it

[lykoiheart]

as someone who played video games for his entire teenage life and never learned how to draw until now because of it, I really can't stand ppl who make up excuses for why they feel the need to use ai to make art. bc I understand them, I too struggled and felt envious of artists to the point where I just gave up on art completely. but I never considered ai to be the answer. never. bc obvious moral and ethical issues aside, it's not even a creatively fulfilling tool. it'll never truly be able to replicate your ideas, only you can do that. with your own hands.

the answer really just comes down to your willingness to try and fail. there is no "I can't draw". are you willing to dedicate an hour to drawing random lines and shapes every day? translate what you see around you onto paper? watch tutorials, read art books, look at references or just draw from imagination? same with writing. are you willing to read for an hour? look at prompt sites and try writing scenes or short stories from them, no matter how childish you sound? are you willing to challenge yourself to study art, writing, music, films, and dissect why they've been written/designed that way? to listen to artist's advice and criticism, and understand that their own processes are not a one-size-fits-all solution? are you ready to create the same things for months straight, feeling like you're stuck in a monotonous cycle, only to look back and realize just how far you've come?

it's not magic, it's not an inborn talent, it's just consistent effort. and anyone can do it. you don't need to know anything to start making art. just make it. as long as there is a desire to do something, you Can do it. as corny as it sounds. but it's true.

there comes a point where it becomes a little pathetic to wallow in your misery about how talentless you are instead of trying. there's no excuse for not trying and it's never too late to pursue what you love. ai art is not your friend, it's the cowards way through and it won't satiate you in the long run.

[mystalwartheart]

😁 — what’s your favorite part about being part of the rpc?

💯 — share three random facts about yourself that your mutuals may not know about you.

😗 — what are some of your favorite things to do when you have some time to yourself?

I love getting to write my beloved characters the way I want to and having complete control over their lives and stories. It's a mad empowering rush, and also extremely cathartic. I also love being able to share them and write collaborative stories with all of you, and I'm really moved so many people seem to like them!

I am a self-taught traceuse (female parkour practitioner), though I haven't seriously trained since I was in college (mostly because I lived in a city then).

I once worked on an art project with a music idol of mine, Laurie Anderson. It was beyond even my wildest dreams, and she's an utter sweetie.

A two-for-one: RPC vet Beth (@timechange, @lifeseffort, @quantumleapt, @curiosityshop, @curiositymemes, @boymagicked, @nocturnitat, @vingtiemes, among many other awesome blogs) is my IRL sister. Our dad was in military intelligence, and he's a massive inspiration on the direction I've taken Jill.

As you might suppose, I play a lot of video games, some even quasi-competitively. I like doing no-hit challenge runs, especially in Resident Evil games, though I have a very large and diverse library of other kinds of games too. The medium is a genuine passion of mine. I also adore music, and that's my favourite form of artistic expression: It means an indescribable amount to me and I always put something special on when I need to just feel. I love spending as much time outdoors as possible just soaking up the environment and ambience when the weather lines up with my very specific and idiosyncratic needs XD

[bonniefront]

Do you have any tips for like art or how to get noticed? Because I post mostly my art sometimes my writing but nobody notices it like I get it my writing sucks and so does my art but I’m trying and nobody really cares

* Unfortunately I don't. I'm completely self taught in art and I just like. Drew. A lot. For years straight. To get to where I am. It just depends on you. People often say that you should study other art styles and references and whatever but that doesn't work for me. But it might work for you? It just depends on the person

* It's the same with writing. I have been writing for YEARS now. You just gotta keep doing it. I'm not very good when it comes to this sort of advice. I've always been happy with my writing and art, so I never struggled with any issues of feeling like I need to get better or whatever

* As for getting noticed, it's hard. I didn't get any attention until about last year. I saw in your bio that you post most OCs (twinsies!!)

* But here's the thing about posting OCs. They don't get a lot of attention. Fanart is ALWAYS going to get more attention then OC art. And you're just going to have to be okay with that. I don't post my art for likes or validation, I do it so I can just get it out in the world because I'm proud of it. And if no one sees it, that's okay. Because I do this all for ME

* This art journey is going to be hard. Nobody starts off great (my first sketchbooks are literally filled with the most cringe drawings with the worst proportions, but that's okay). I think people get too hung up on the attention. I've always done all of this for fun and for me. Never because of the attention

* This probably isn't helpful, but I don't really have any advice. You're just going to have to keep at it. You should learn to love your art and your creations, because your journey is going to be a lot harder if you don't

[ardisiia]

About me!... For now

I'm making this SUPER basic and bare bones to start off with because my brain is too frazzled to make something pretty. I am VERY much not a social media person nor do I want to become one. But I've been very stagnant with anything creative so I hope that if I were to toss something into the endless void of the internet, maybe I can convince myself to do something... more.

You can call me Siia or Zebony (Zeb for short)

I am very new to posting, but I am most certainly a Tumblr veteran who has been here before the war on nudity, but I preferred to basically just be a fly on the wall so this is all very abnormal for me. For reference, I posted one thing on an old account, then never posted anything for years until Tumblr decided I had to be a bot/abandoned account and shadowbanned me so I had to make a new account just to participate in the global web.

Things I am:

Cis female

Aro- (Romance repulsed across the board.)

Ace- (Sex positive in theory, Sex repulsed in reality, but I have an active sex drive which means I'm constantly in hell so i take it out on imaginary people. You'll see my 'in-theory kinks' shine through eventually. I don't really hide it well. haha)

Possibly ADHD- never diagnosed, but I wouldn't be shocked with some of my personality traits. I feel like ADD actually encompasses me more, since I'm not hyperactive, but apparently that's an outdated term so whatever, I guess.

Things I like:

Glassware- Despite not drinking, I very much appreciate alcohol glasses as well as glass terrariums and sculptures.

Metal cleaning- I normally work with brass, but I do have some silverplate.

Swords- self explanatory. Most of my collection are fakes and blunted but I do have an actual bayonet and a sword that the sellers claimed was made in the 1800's.

Drawing- I'm completely self taught and was drawing since before I can remember. Started off with Warrior cats in which I basically just used the pixel art wiki as a reference and felt very bad about myself for years until I started doodling humans. I've been stagnant for years now, although I do draw literally every day. 8 years nonstop so far.

Writing- This is the one activity I actually very much enjoy doing. Completely self-taught again. I'm also incredibly private so the idea of tossing my work into the world is, frankly, horrifying, but I think I need to in order to progress in my work. I have 9 different story lines that I frequently update, but I am horrible at actually creating a linear story to follow so most of my work is just sections upon sections of a story loosely tied together. Most of my work is pretty mature. Some sexual activity, but for the most part I deal with uncomfortable situations like gore and depression. Obviously, some are more mature than others. I will make sure to include a lot of trigger warning tags if it comes up. I write literally every day. 7 years nonstop so far.

Music- I don't make anything myself but I listen to a crapton of music. My music sense goes from 'hot garbage' to 'bangers' and I am very unapologetic about that. I like bad music in the same way people like bad movies.

Baking- kind of, I prefer the practice of cooking more, but I'm a better baker than a chef. I don't get a chance to do much with baking though because I actually... don't like sweets that much. And I'm unemployed so I can't make cookies and bring them to work.

Animals- I have corgis, my mom has cats, and together we have four chickens. I like all animals and I used to draw them a lot in college (in which I just gave away the drawings). All types of animals are pretty cool with me, but I very much enjoy aquatic animals, mainly sea-creatures. I live in a landlocked state though so my marine biologists dreams died VERY quickly in my life.

Plants- mostly houseplants. I am a greenhouse specific horticulturist which means that I work with controlled environments like a house or greenhouse. I am very much not an outdoors person so bringing greenery inside is a good trade off.

Swedish- I like learning stuff that is objectively useless and what better way to do that than to learn a language that no one in my home country of US of A uses.

Neopets- Yeah. Not much to say about that other than yeah. You can friend me there if you want, but I'm just as quiet as i am here. My username is typhina and I have a pet also named Ardisiia so you'll know it's me

Rouge-likes- Bro, you have no idea. I 100% completed a full Binding of Isaac save file and have a second file 99%. I very much enjoy Cult of the Lamb and Enter the Gungeon as well, but Isaac is my bread and butter.

[eldritchpiper]

Hi I'm Piper!

I enjoy writing and I have a lot of big ideas, though currently this blog is mostly Subnautica-centric because my only public work as of now is a Subnautica fanfiction.

I'm an adult but I'm not interested in any funny business

Into spec-bio! Not super hardcore but all my friends call me the biology nerd

Self taught artist over here

I'm attempting to be a writer

Casual gamer

Getting into dungeons and dragons recently!

I have a lot of original characters

I do a lot of art and doodles, mostly of characters belonging to me and my friends but I've been doing more fanart recently! I've also been interested in writing for a very long time and I've been doing but I have only recently started posting things after years of only writing for myself.

I like space, both the real life science and stuff going on up there but I also really like it as a sci-fi setting. Also into cryptids and stuff like that but not in like a conspiracy theory way...? More of a 'I like the aesthetic and the prompts and lore ideas I get from freaky lil buggers in the woods'

My friends have this ridiculous theory I'm not human and I am in fact an alien or critter in disguise but I assure you that's completely bogus and I'm 100% human and I do have skin.

Personalized tags:

#Pipereative < this is the tag I use for posts that contain my own art or writing

#Reconstituted ao3 < for art/discussion/memes about my fanfiction of that name!

#Piperamble < self explanatory. Ramblings and textposts of mine

Art sideblog

Main

Thank you for reading my rambling, I hope to see you again soon!

[phantomrose96]

My relationship with content creation and hobbies, in general, got a lot better when I started learning to reframe it as a simple act of human creation, and not a metric of my own self worth.

We’re taught competition, and perfectionism, and shame. If I say “I cook” I must add “(but not well)”. If I say “I run” I must say “(but I am not good at it).” I say “I code (but I mostly know frontend).” I create and express and my first impulse is to guard against embarrassment. Lest I fall so short of marketable competence. Lest I subject myself to the mockery of being caught creating poorly. I wound myself first so others may not.

Even the advice that fights against this says “your only goal should be to be better than yourself yesterday.” But why must I be in competition with her? What happens, after the initial rapid climb in skill, when I plateau? What of injury, and atrophy, and depression, that flake these skills away? Must I return feeling compelled to over-achieve? To wallow in embarrassment until I can surpass my own previous record? To hate my work until the reception, the notes, the engagement outperform an ever rising bar? I do not want to be paralyzed by the mountains I built behind me. Why should I look behind myself when there’s a wide swath of untilled Earth that stretches far out of sight ahead of me? I want to enjoy my work, and my mediocrity, moving forward with all its ebbs and flows.

At my worst, I was nothing. I was not a writer. Because I had forgone writing for all the fear and stress and damage to my self-worth that it wrought. I was not a coder. Because I was only useful for the niches of my job, and didn’t have the heart to create something badly, on my own, for fun, lest it confirm my suspicions of mediocrity. I was not even a runner - despite the extreme and exhaustive amount of time I sunk into it - because I fell short of my previous self, and I could not hold a candle to the actually-skilled runners, and I was forced to speak of this hobby in all those guarded terms - “but i am not good” - because of how much that ate at me. 

I was no cook, and no homemaker, and no creator, because when I did those things, (I did them poorly.) 

And when all these came together, I wallowed in emptinesses. (I still do, sometimes. It’s hard and complicated). Because emptiness is what was left when I stripped myself of the things and the pursuits whose lack of value could be used to hurt me.

The change for me - the change, I think - came at the time I started to recognize that I do not deserve self-punishment for my mediocrities, for the failings of my current state of being. It was not a revelation all at once. It was a slow and progressive flirting with the idea, found almost by accident on self-help youtube channels of a very particular ilk. It came with the recognition that I had trapped myself, wiling away my time and my energy, in a state of constant apology, and shame, and self-correction for the mediocrities I dare not unleash onto the world. I boxed myself up with the promise “once I am good enough, I will be allowed to come back out”, and that was a lie. I would never have come back out. I was chasing punishing metrics of self-improvement that I did not need, and would never actually catch and maintain, and which would never love me back.

It took a long time to internalize this. It took a long time to get angry on my own behalf. It took a long time to act on it, and write again because fuck you. To run on my own terms, at my own pace, for my own enjoyment because fuck you. To create with my hands again because fuck you. To lean into the happiness of creation that I had not “earned”, because fuck you.

I like creating because it fills an emptiness that used to be there. It’s so simple, and so lovely, that humans are like this. That we want to build with our hands. That we want to assemble and construct. That we derive joy from stacking pieces together, and stringing words together, and assembling colors on a page, and moving, and singing, and baking, and knitting. Humans love to build little worlds around them. 

So why must we so actively try to cut people off from it off from it? Why do we condition ourselves to fear its mediocrity? Why does this still our hands? Why do we suffocate it for ourselves, before others can? I don’t have an answer. I can only recognize the monster. 

I want to make bad art today. I want to make bad art tomorrow. If I am a worse writer tomorrow, I want that to be fine. If I am never more than a mediocre runner, I want to be at complete peace with that. Because if not, then I might box away my hobbies again, and my loves, and my pursuits. I might go back to empty. I might go back to nothing.

I hate that emptiness I lived through. I hate that nothing. I want to make bad art for the rest of my life. 

[hteragram-x]

Remus Sanders is an artist HCs

I think that there are too many people who sleep on the fact that Remus is an artist. I mean… sure… his creativity is probably mostly spent on creating disturbing thoughts and coming up with lewd jokes. But I refuse to believe that he does not make art just for the cool aesthetic or to put his ideas into a tangible object (or performance). I’ve seen more stories where Virgil was an artist for some reason... and Remus wasn’t even if he’s a literal embodiment of Creativity. Gotta fix it.

We know that Roman is an excellent singer and actor. He can draw (Mona Lisa) and write (gift for Logan; songs; poetry) as well. But he couldn’t really play an instrument (see: Moving On) and he mentioned that Thomas probably shouldn’t show his dancing skills, so maybe he’s not the best at that too. He’s good at costume design and tried interior design as well. The list goes on. He clearly has his strengths and weaknesses in this department.

So what about his brother? (get ready for that Creativitwins content… and maybe some hints at Intrulogical and Dukeceit too)

...

...

...

1. Remus is great at playing instruments. He can play almost everything he tries if you give him a few minutes to check how it works. But being his chaotic self he most often plays instruments that are super loud and annoying.

2. When no one listens he sometimes tries instruments that are more soft and romantic, but you’ll lost your ears and eyes if you ever discover it. Deceit once did. He promised to not tell anyone, but he still remembers the sight of Remus with a silver harp, singing some angsty ballad like a dramatic bastard he is.

3. He likes to make his own instruments too. From everything. And I mean everything. Which includes vegetables, bones, soil, parts of furniture or dirty laundry. Don’t ask.

4. He’s good at singing, but prefers playing.

5. So he often plays for Roman and since they both enjoy coming up with their own songs they regularly perform something one of them wrote.

6. They sometimes try rap battles, so Roman can practice for his eventual rematch with Logan, but rapping is really not their style. And most often than not they end up laughing too much to perform and just add as much nonsense and disgusting jokes to the lyrics as possible.

7. And maybe when Thomas was younger they had a very “hardcore” band called: The Empire Has Fallen. And maybe they sang about not being loved and appreciated. So what? None of our business.

8. Remus is great at sewing (yes, sometimes it means visiting the sewers). And costume design (have u seen his clothes?!). At first most of his drawings were inspired by Roman’s – he just wanted to do something that was a complete opposite. But later he gave himself more creative freedom.

9. Remus designed and made Janus’ costume. I mean… the snake boy is fashionable and all. But it doesn’t mean he can create something on his own. He just said “black and yellow… and I want a hat” and Remus was like: “ALREADY ON IT!” (at first he gave him a bee costume with a top hat as a joke).

10. He’s not great at interior design, because he values the creepy aesthetic over comfort and practicality. So his room was mostly created by Roman who kept the colour scheme and the atmosphere of a damp and weirdly luxurious basement, but added a lot of pillows and greenish lamps in various corners. (There was a long argument about keeping the artistic bloodstains on the walls.)

---

11. He’s excellent with make-up. But he does not try too hard while doing his own, because he likes to look like he has not slept for two weeks.

12. He can dance, but doesn’t do that often. Especially since part of his charm is being intentionally ungraceful and positioning his limbs at weird angles. However, he dances with Roman or Janus if they want to. (With Roman it often ends in a playful fight; with Janus dancing can turn into a semi-romantic, passionate performance to some villain songs.)

13. He’s just as good at drawing as Roman, but obviously their inspirations are very different. Remus most often draws people… with way too many details and a lot of attention to anatomical correctness. You know exactly what he draws. I’m not gonna say it.

14. Logan taught Remus a lot about anatomy of both humans and animals so he can draw as realisticaly as possible. And if they dissected a body in the basement to be extra sure how the liver looks that’s also none of our business.

15. When they were kids Patton promised he will put his drawing on the fridge next to Roman’s if he promises to not draw blood and corpses. Initially he drew some disturbing pictures of naked people to mess with the rest of the sides, but only Logan could look at them without being too grossed out. And since Remus really wanted some validation, he showed Patton his designs of new weapons and pictures of deep-sea creatures (some real, some fictional). A few of them were on the fridge for so long that the ink has slightly faded.

16.  The pictures of sea creatures were partially responsible for Logan’s fear of the bottom of the ocean. But it’s a phobia fuelled by curiosity and scientific fascination so he does not complain and often complements the most terrifying designs.

17.  His weirdest creative outlet is creating new animals. (Roman’s manticore-chimera was heavily inspired by Remus’ mush-ups). And maybe he sometimes invites a certain local nerd to admire his work and help him with coming up with Latin-based names for his dear abominations. And maybe they enjoy adding antlers to fish a little bit too much. And then giggling about it. Stop judging. Gosh…

18.  Remus is unfamiliar with the term minimalism. Or rather he pretends it does not exist. With his ideas the concept of “less is more” will never apply.

19.  He loves sculpting. He’s not great with it, but you can make a big mess with clay, so he finds it relaxing. Sewing is also relaxing, but in a more “I’m already calm so let’s do something tame” sort of way. Sculpting is better to vent. Ya know… create a face out of clay and then punch it real hard. Or smash a block of granite with a mace and see what interesting shapes you end up with.

20.  The art he’s most embarrassed with (if he’s capable of such a feeling at all) is his doodles. He thinks they’re too soft and cute. But he draws them anyway, because sometimes he’s just tired, but still needs to do something with fidgeting hands and all the ideas buzzing in his head like a swarm of hornets.

 ...

More to be added. I myself am full ideas.

[I did part 2. It’s HERE, if you’re interested.]

[sinsbymanka]

Writing Tag Game

Okay listen I’m on vacation XD hence why I’m ignoring everyone’s tags/taking forever to respond. But I’ve been tagged in this A LOT and I really liked it/wanted to do it so thank you to everyone who tagged me (oh my god I’m so sorry if I missed one of you there were SO MANY): @noire-pandora, @in-arlathan, @thevikingwoman, @morganlefaye79, @elveny, @kunstpause, @pikapeppa

I’m not tagging anyone because I’m tagging everyone since I’m too lazy to find my tag list (I’m on VACATION). If you’ve not gotten tagged and wanted to do this, say I tagged you. 

How many works do you have on Ao3?

147 - I have 145 linked to my profile and two in the anonymous collection. 

What's your total Ao3 wordcount?

1,468,248. Almost 1.5 million!! 

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Of Miracles and Heroes (FenHawke, Cadash/Varric, Varania/Blackwall): 269

Interspecies Relationships Have Their Ups and Downs (Shakarian): 145

Don’t Make it Hawkeward (Varric/Hawke): 135

The Ambassador’s Vices (Josephine/Adaar): 111

The Girl with the Arrow Tattoo (Cadash/Varric): 101

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do (but - to be honest - it takes me FOREVER). I love comments. It’s so much easier to not leave comments than leave comments, so every time someone leaves one I’m blown away. I feel like - for leaving me a comment - you’re definitely owed an answer! I do apologize that it takes me awhile though - I am very bad at answering because they mean a lot to me and I get easily overwhelmed by the AO3 inbox I don’t know why. Blame anxiety. 

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

I’ll be honest, I don’t like angsty endings so I don’t have many of them. By far the angstiest ending I have is Flowers, Lies, and Forgiveness. This is a Bianca Davri/Varric Tethras fic set during the final act of DA2. I wrote it from Bianca’s POV - showing Varric unraveling under the pressure of Kirkwall and Bianca’s complicated feelings about infidelity to her husband who clearly cares about her as well. I wrote it for @hollyand-writes who always lets me lean into the tragic “fucked upness” of the pairing when I’m feeling like making Varric suffer.  

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending

I prefer happy endings so almost EVERYTHING has a happy ending. My favorite endings, so far, are for Cheating the Dread Wolf, which is my Varric/Cadash/Solas polycule (or as I like to refer to it - Solas has a dwarf kink) and The Viscount’s Mistress which is my Hurt/Comfort Cadash/Varric Trespasser bullshit. 

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I have not written crossovers - but I am very into AUs in another setting that belongs to a different fictional universe. Most recently I got back into my Downton Abbey bullshit and wrote Flappers for Fen’harel which is basically a Downton Abbey AU Solas/Cadash and I’m not taking comments about the outrageousness of it. 

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep. Honestly though? Over the two years I’ve been active in Fandom, the shitty comments can be counted on one hand and usually came from the same people over and over again, who are easily blocked, and should stop seeking out clearly labeled content they don’t like. Me and my work are not for everyone - that’s REALLY okay. I’ve blocked people for no other reason than making things I don’t like - that doesn’t mean they’re bad people. 

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

GOD DO I.

I am extremely sex and kink positive. Because of this - a lot of my work involves sex in some way or another. I think sex is a beautiful part of many (although not all) relationships, and that it’s frequently glossed over in mainstream media (particularly queer, kinky, and polyam sex). 

This ranges from sort of vanilla slow burns (My Cole/Bea fic, Compassion for an Assassin, has smut which hasn’t been posted yet. It’s Cole’s first time and is fairly vanilla and romantic, and occurs approximately 40k into the fic) to some pretty dubious consent near 24/7 dom/sub dynamics with BDSM kinks (I’ve written JUST as much of the Sereda/Gorim problematic smut as @jarakrisafis has in our series Forced Moves). 

There’s very few kinks I’m not willing to touch at least to try out - even if I end up not liking them. And the ones that aren’t for me are 100% allowed to exist and I will fight for them to the bloody end. My only recommendation is CLEARLY labeling your shit and not being afraid to add a tag if someone asks you to. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of? I’ve seen ideas I’ve tried on picked up by other people - but I don’t consider that stealing and it’s hard to trace “who has been inspired by who” because we ALL have been inspired by thousands of other people and frankly more stuff for me when I pull you over to my weird AUs and rarepairs. 

I also think that’s a huge part of not getting stolen - I’ve got so much weird niche shit that only a couple people read that stealing from me is going to most likely be caught IMMEDIATELY the audience is so small. 

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t believe so!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I’ve got some co-written secret smut with @blarfkey which almost nobody has seen, I’ve borrowed @tightassets Hawke, Lavellan, and Shepard for fics that she has illustrated, borrowed @tuffypelly‘s Adaars for some great fics, and my most ambitious project - the Forced Moves series with @jarakrisafis. It started out as us just exchanging gifts back and forth but we’ve wrangled it into Gambits and Countergambits, an Aeducan-origin prequel, that I’m VERY proud of. 

I love co-writing very much, but it’s very important to find the right partner and for it to be someone you trust completely. 

What's your all time favourite ship?

This is a stupidly hard question because I am, at heart, a multi-shipper. 

I love Varric/Hawke and Varric/Cadash. I’m also a sucker for Solas/Cadash. My fandom pool noodle is Varric/Cadash/Solas which I adore, and I’m very fond of Cole/Cadash. 

Most recently I’ve been DEEP in Aeducan/Gorim Saelac, Bhelen/Rica/Vartag, and Aeducan/Brosca feels. Dwarf origins are the best origins in my opinion and those characters are PERFECT. 

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I fully plan on finishing everything. My writing style changed a lot, for the better, in a short period of time. I need to integrate my old style/new style and had to get a pep talk about how to do that. Now I’m ready to try as soon as I finish Compassion for an Assassin. 

What are your writing strengths? 

I write very sexy, hot smut. I also really like playing with character voice and making sure I get them “right” so I do a lot of experimenting before publishing a new character for the first time. 

I struggle to write action scenes - it’s like pulling fucking teeth - but people really LOVE my action scenes and they read well. So that’s something I’m proud of even if it feels like doing fucking pull ups. 

What are your writing weaknesses?

I never learned anything. My experiences with English and writing teachers were overwhelmingly negative. I’m unsure if I’m just not cut out for classes or if they were that bad, but I always left feeling like there was one “right” way to do it, and everything I liked was “bad”, so what was the point of “learning” anything? 

It turns out there’s this very pompous, pretentious thought process in writing where people “assume” things must be done, but GOOD writing teachers teach you the rules and then how to break them. I either never had a good writing teacher or got too intimidated to give them a chance before bouncing. 

So I’m exceedingly self-taught. I lack the vocabulary to discuss plot structure, characterization, grammar, etc. I instinctively know most of these things based on trial and error and reading, but I didn’t learn them and I miss a lot of nuance in the rules, but until recently I was still too intimidated and unsure of myself to admit that or take it seriously. 

So - my defense mechanism is NOT taking ANYTHING seriously. If my writing is a joke to me, it’s gotta be a joke to everyone else, but that’s been a shield to hide behind instead of being thoughtful about things. I’m here to have fun, yes, but there’s nothing wrong with learning a technique to the art. 

I’ve learned - mostly thanks to @blarfkey who is an amazing person and a wonderful teacher - that I am a good writer based on my self-teaching. And being intimidated of people who throw around impressive sounding words is a weakness that I am working on. 

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 

Use sparingly and with good reason. It should be short and explained later or clear from context. 

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter on message boards back in the fucking day. Thankfully none of it exists anywhere anymore. 

What's your favourite fic you've written?

This is such a sappy answer and I’m so sorry. My favorite things have been written for and because of people I love and care about. When I read them, I’m not just reading the story, but remembering the relationships I’ve made and how important they are. 

So, my top three fics for THAT reason: 

1. Cheating the Dread Wolf - written for @blarfkey who inspired the idea and ruthlessly encouraged me to make it happen. This fic was so healing for me because it heavily features Fatherhood within it - and I lost my father in June 2020. I don’t know if I’d have been able to do it without her and it was so important for me to do. 

2. Gambits and Countergambits - written with @jarakrisafis and the culmination of a years worth of gifting shit back and forth and crafting a shared universe. The worldbuilding, smut, relationships, EVERYTHING about this fic is so deeply and passionately cared about by both of us and to our knowledge it is completely, totally unique.  

3. Relentless, Ridiculous, and Rakish - one of my only primarily gen-fics focusing on a forming brother/sister relationship between Maria Cadash and @tuffypelly‘s Otsar Adaar. I very much enjoyed writing it for her <3 

And then my overall favorite fic: 

The Viscount’s Mistress: I have a lot of opinions about how fanfiction treats the anchor’s meltdown and the aftermath. It’s one of the things in DAI that resonated with me SO much as someone who lives with chronic pain and a disability. I loved the fact my OC was in the same shoes and STILL saving the world. This is very much a fic that explores all the dark sides of trauma, pain, and the mental health effects of it. But it ends on a happy and hopeful note.  

[hurricanek8art]

Hi! I'm Kate, a 23-year-old huge nerd and a self-taught artist who's kinda new to the whole 'social media' thing and terrible at introducing herself! 😋 I'm a learn-from-observation type and figured I'd do a 'meet the artist'/masterpost kinda deal like everyone else to help filter stuff out!

Fair warning, this is under construction because I have, like, no idea what I'm doing! 🤣🤣🤣

So, first off, I am autistic, with high anxiety and PTSD from some sucky stuff in my childhood. Might as well get that out of the way. I am very shy, and can be terrible at the nuances of conversation sometimes (mostly the 'how to carry one' bits), so I need the occasional prodding when talking to people. Why am I bothering with joining up on a social media platform, you ask? Well, 'cause I am more than all those labels and neuroses! I'm (SLOWLY, UGH) writing what I hope will be my own YA series someday, I really love art, and like I said above, I am a huge nerd, and I love talking about the stuff I love like Star Wars, the MCU, animation and books and comics and all that stuff! (And my dog. But I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who can stand my gushing about my dog for more than a minute or two. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND SHE'S JUST SO STINKING CUTE! 🤣) This whole pandemic nightmare has taught me more than anything how important human connection is and I've been wanting to join up for a while, but my shyness and my nerves have always gotten the better of me. But I'm in a pretty good place mentally right now (or at least trying to get there), and I figure there's no time like the present, so... ta-da! Here I am!

I'm a fan of a lot of stuff and don't know when to shut up, so here's all the stuff I'm likely to not shut up about if you want to filter out the stuff you like/don't like:

Star Wars tag:

Marvel tag:

MCU tag:

Comics tag:

LotR tag:

Chronicles of Narnia tag:

Disney animation tag:

ATLA tag:

HtTyD tag:

Tales of Arcadia tag:

Percy Jackson tag:

Another thing, I'm into Hogwarts Mystery and have been sucked into the community and the worldbuilding everyone's done for their characters that spilled over to the other Potter games, and I know that Potter stuff can have a lot of baggage attached to it right now*, so I figured I'd separate those tags down here!

Hogwarts Mystery:

Magic Awakened:

Hogwarts Legacy:

General Potter stuff:

*and for the record, I think JKR's completely lost it and totally disagree with everything she's been saying. I'm not the most educated on the complexities of trans identity, and I may not understand a lot about it sometimes and come across as ignorant, but I promise that if I stumble, it's never out of malice. I've been verbally and psychologically abused for being autistic by enough people to know how depressing and painful it is to know people don't see you for who you are. I will do my best to make sure no one has to deal with that pain if I can help it. We're all real people with real feelings and we deserve to be treated like the humans we are—no matter what might make us 'different' in some people's eyes—and anyone that has a problem with that can go kick rocks. I know how hard she's made it when this series can be so intrinsic, so deeply connected to some wonderful childhood memories. I still love the wizarding world, but I'm not blind to the terrible parts of it. I acknowledge them and vehemently disavow them, and fully admit that Rowling has some seriously messed up views and she can suck it. If I make you uncomfortable talking about it, I won't have any hard feelings if you don't want to engage with that, I completely understand. Do what you need to do for your mental health.

[strongxsurvivors]

MLM SHIPS, FETIZATION, AND MISOGYNY IN THE RPC.

This is a small, or not-so-small, rant about a problem ( in my opinion ) I see more and more often in both the rp community and the art community. As a member of both, I just can’t escape this issue and need to put out some food for thought for everyone to read.

Not all of you are going to agree with me. Maybe, some will want to add in their two cents. Maybe, it’ll go over someone’s head completely. I simply appreciate you putting the time into reading this and giving it, like, two seconds of thought. It may not be an issue for you or be completely unrelated to you, but this is an issue I’m sure others will be able to relate to.

I will preface this by saying that I am a twenty-five year old transman. I am bisexual. I have a degree in psychology and excelled in gender and sexuality psychology. THIS DOES NOT, BY ANY MEANS, MEAN I AM THE END ALL BE ALL OF INFO IN THESE SUBJECTS. My experience is my own and I will not gatekeep or instruct people how to think in concerns of these subjects. I am only saying these things simply to assure you that I am valid in my perspective because I am in these communities. Please, don’t think that I want to invalidate anyone or say that I am better than you because I am these things.

Alright, let’s get the ball rolling because I have a lot of feelings and thoughts on a lot of points.

The number one thing that finally set me off to make this post is the absolute WORSHIP of mlm ( male loving male ) ships in the rpc ( and art comm., but this ain’t about them rn ). I have seen, countless times, entire blogs dedicated to shipping male characters to male characters.

Now, initially, this isn’t a problem. Having a male homosexual ship or homosexual male characters is absolutely fine. Peep my blog, I obviously have some. But, it’s the act of taking a character that was originally female, cisbend them to be male, and shipping them with another male character that's the problem. What was wrong with the female character? You kept her personality but made her male? Why? Is it necessary? It’s the same character. If you are uncomfortable writing female-related smut, fade to black. Smut is not necessary if you are truly focused on the essence of this character.

By making this character male, you are essentially saying that the only problem was that she was female. That’s it. That is misogyny. If you are focusing on her as a character, her body shouldn’t matter. As if females equate to their body when sex and gender are two separate things. But, you are bringing females down by getting rid of this one thing. You are telling them they are not good enough. That, maybe, you would like them better if they were the same but male. Am I being extreme about this? Yes. But, I’m trying to drive home my point here.

Another point to make about fetishizing mlm ships is that, even if you state your character is bisexual, pansexual, etc., that does not give you a pass. If your whole blog has characters who want only male partners even if some are stated to be something other than homosexual, you’re fetishizing them. If you put no effort in exploring relationships with females — platonic, romantic, or otherwise — you may as well call them homosexual and call it a day. I’m not here to dictate how you should play your character, but it’s easy to see where your loyalties lie when there is no evidence of female characters on your blog that you’ve interacted with. Actions speak louder than words. Rpc may be made up of words, but make your words take action. Plenty of people complain about their females being ignored. Go help them. Make your characters be friends, enemies, a crime-fighting duo idk. Females exist, don’t act like they don’t.

Oh, and changing a canon mlm ship to a wlw ship by cisbending them doesn’t change things. You’re still saying that those male characters were better than the pre-existing female characters. I would recommend you focus on the actual females of whatever medium you’ve taken these characters from, or create ocs that are genuinely wlw. This is mostly a thing I see in the art community, but I have seen it in the rpc.

We’re going to move on now to some transphobic and trans fetishization, which is fewer and far between. I say a few because I barely see trans characters out there in the community. But, when I do, OH BOY.

Simply stating a character is trans and doing nothing to upkeep what you said does not make your character trans. I’m sorry. Taking a pre-existing character and changing their gender and calling them trans is a sticky situation. I will probably get hate for this, but what are you going to do? It’s Tumblr. I would just prefer to see more original trans characters out there, as if actual thought and development went into their creation. 

What I mean by a sticky situation is this, and it goes back to a point I made earlier about cisbending characters to fit mlm ships: if you’re only making a character a transman to make him gay, that's fetishizing both mlm ships and trans people. I’m not saying a transperson can’t be gay and I’m not here to limit diverse characters — this is why I say this is a sticky situation. But, what I am saying is that if you only have muses that are involved in mlm ships and then you add a transmale character to also have an mlm ship based on faceclaims, it’s kinda sus.

Another thing I want to point out is if you are playing a trans character, refer to them by their chosen name and pronouns. You would think this is a no brainer, but you would be surprised. Even if your trans character is closeted, it is your job as the writer to write the correct name and pronouns. Other character interacting with your trans character could use their dead name and wrong pronouns — it makes sense, they don’t know your character is trans if they are closeted and non-passing. But, as you write your character, you and the reader are aware of your character’s true self. Neglecting to reflect your character’s true self through their chosen and name and pronouns is transphobic and harmful. Seeing things like this sends me into a whirlwind of dysphoria.

Changing a pre-existing character to nonbinary rather than cisbending them would be a recommendation from me and some others ( nonbinary individuals ) I’ve talked to. First off, there are very few nonbinary characters in general — media or otherwise. So, taking a pre-existing character and making them nonbinary is a nice thing to see. And, since the character is nonbinary, if they’re in a relationship with a male - the fetishization is redundant.

Now, who do I see making these wacky characters? Mostly cis females and trans men. I think it mostly stems from internalized misogyny as, when growing up, we’ve lived in societies where we are taught men are better than women. It can get to the point where cis females will glorify men so much that they have to have mlm ships. The same can be said for trans men. I’m not saying — as is often used against trans men — that this internalized misogyny / glorification of men has caused them to be trans. Obviously not. But, the internalized misogyny is still there enough to where they may either fear interacting with female characters. It might make them uncomfortable, dysphoric, or they just may think men are better. Women do not deserve to be the catalyst for someone’s discomfort. They are people. They are everywhere. They deserve to be loved. If they make you uncomfortable, if you think you are better than them, if you think men are better, I want you to sit down with yourself and think about this.

When I first realized that I was trans, I had some serious internalized misogyny going on. I would be uncomfortable writing female characters. I would be uncomfortable interacting with them. There was this discomfort that started to manifest in my behaviors and thoughts. Luckily, I had the best person in my life who told me that I was acting misogynistic and I needed to change. Pushing away females was me trying to come to terms with my transness. You don’t need to expel females away from you to imbed in yourself that you are trans. You don’t need to raise yourself above them as men have done for centuries. Do not become part of the problem. Accept the feminine parts of yourself, accept females, and I promise that the fear or resentment you may have with females and female characters will fade away.

Now, with all that being said, my last few words:

Being trans does not give you a pass to do the things I’ve mentioned. Being cis does not give you a pass. Being straight, gay, bi, etc does not give you a pass. If you are a gay man, I understand why you would only have male mlm ships. That doesn’t mean you can’t platonically interact with female characters. We all have made dumb mistakes and judgments in the past. I know for sure I’ve written some pretty cringe stuff in the past. It happens. The best we can do? Learn and take action on what we claim to have learned. Again, actions speak louder than words. Don’t piggy-back on posts that call out people for behavior like this when you participate in some of these behaviors yourself. Just because one person got called out and the spotlight is on them doesn’t mean you’re better than them or that you’ve been given a pass. If you read something like this, reflect on yourself and wonder — objectively — do you do some of these things? You may without realizing it or meaning to. In the end, I’m just a small blog that’s been around for seven years. I think we can get better as a community, but only if we help each other out. This is not a call out post. Call out and cancel culture is gross and counterproductive. I ain’t here for it. Call me out if you want, but what’ll that do? Nothing accept invalidate my opinion.

If you made it this far, I’m sorry. I took up a lot of your time probably. But, I want to thank you so much for reading this. As I said, you may agree, disagree, and not really get what I’m saying. I don’t know what I’m saying half the time either. But, I appreciate you regardless. Please, stay safe and healthy. I hope you have a wonderful year ahead of you.

[patrick-hockstutter]

If you decide to write bowers gang fan fiction again, could you do like a “bowers gang quarantine” basically what it be like being quarantined with them. I know it’s modern but like still

Y O we doin this right THE FUCK now. And I love the idea of doing this modern day! I actually got a modern Bowers Gang request ages ago that I always wanted to do but never got around to, so I’ll mix it in with this! (and maybe do it after this, who knows, quarantine got me feelin’ some type of way...)

Victor:

This boy is so easily stressed out that he’s in constant need of a soothing activity to keep his mind busy

So you immediately introduce him to the world of face masks and bubble baths

And it’s like this boy has t r a n s f o r m e d

He’s constantly just GLOWING

But he still needs to keep his brain busy, face mask on and ready to go

Victor is an Animal Crossing baby right now

If he goes anywhere, his turquoise switch lite is always in hand

Everything going on has got him so stressed out, so he focuses 100% on his island (which is fucking beautiful at this point)

He then convinces you to get the game and a coral switch lite, and you also get to the point where you can’t put it down

The two of you can be found laying in bed all day visiting each other's islands, filling up your museums, and paying off your loans to Nook

(wearing face masks)

When he’s not playing Animal Crossing, he’s channeling all his energy into his doodles

With some encouragement from you, he starts streaming his art on Twitch and surprisingly gets a pretty good following

You love seeing all the support he’s getting on social media but you juuuuuuust can’t help yourself...

So you post a picture of him laying in bed, playing Animal Crossing with a bright green face mask on and his hair pushed back on Instagram

He’s embarrassed at first, but it eventually gets turned into a relatable meme and he honestly is quite proud of that

It can now be seen as a custom emote for his Twitch subscribers

(and as your phone lock screen)

Belch:

Honestly couldn’t be happier to be on government mandated lockdown

(especially with you)

Belch is such a homebody so he is in complete bliss rn

The two of you spend most days snuggling, snacking, binging shows on Netflix and watching conspiracy theories on YouTube

Y’all watch so much tv at this point that you’ve actually moved the mattress into the living room and made it into a deluxe blanket fort

The two of you swore to start cooking more since you couldn’t go to restaurants anymore, but damn did Domino’s have some good ass coupons...

Long story short, you ordered pizzas more times than you’d care to admit

But whatever, self care, am I right???

Belch also used this time as an excuse to force you to learn about cars

He always said that if you were gonna drive one, you’d need to know how to fix it

You’d always figure out how to cute your way out of it, but not this time

There was n o  e s c a p e

He taught you to change your tires, headlights, oil, brake pads, check all your fluids, the air filter, E V E R Y T H I N G

By the time Belch was done with you, you were basically ready to open up your own auto shop

But then it was straight back to the blanket fort

And although Belch was straight vibin’ in quarantine, god did he miss driving

So he would take you on these nice midnight drives

Sure, he would blast music as loud as he could, but it was so relaxing to look at the stars and the occasional deer that passed by

Henry:

Absolutely follows 0 of the rules at first

He’ll go to the grocery store if he damn well pleases whenever he damn well pleases

Even if he doesn’t need or want anything, the big ‘fuck you’ to government orders is enough for him

At first he just lounged around all day watching tv, but he finally started to get bored

So he started sneaking out of his house and into your bedroom despite the lockdown order

And as much as you wanted him with you, you refused to let him inside

You were a goody two shoes, what could you say? (but of course this is why Henry was drawn to you; he got off on tainting you any way he could)

So he persisted, but you could tell he was doing it mostly to be a jackass

Until one day he showed up looking like a lost puppy, so you caved

You were also a softie, what could you say?

Henry wouldn’t say it, but you knew the lockdown order had finally sunk in and he realized that he would have to be quarantined with his father

So you decided to be his safe haven (and his constant distraction)

You introduced him to your PS4 (he’d never had the luxury of having his own game system) and it opened up a whole new world for him

Games like Destiny and Red Dead Redemption really gave him an outlet and he especially loved that he could control what he did with his character in Red Dead

Which then led him to RPG games like Wolf Among Us and Until Dawn

The two of you would pull all nighters playing these games, constantly debating on which choice to make and how it would impact the story

And when you two weren’t playing games, the extra time quarantined together actually encouraged him to start opening up to you

So one minute the two of you might be swearing at a video game while the next you might be deep in conversation over a cozy cup of cocoa

Patrick:

You thought he was a nightmare before?

Well, I hope you’re prepared to handle him 24/7 for god knows how long

This boy is jumping off the fucking walls okay

And he can’t take it out on the Losers Club, so it has to come out somehow...

This motherfucker starts a prank channel on YouTube and decides that you are his target

Sometimes it’s as harmless as pretending he factory reset your iPhone

Sometimes it’s as infuriating as destroying your eyeshadow palettes and pressing sidewalk chalk into the pans

Sometimes it’s as terrifying as him chasing you around in a monster mask with a kitchen knife while you’re just trying to paint your damn nails

But no matter how pissed you get, he gives you that dumb stupid cute smirk you love to hate and kisses you, reminding you why you tolerate him in the first place

And as much as you think you can, you really can’t stay mad at him for long

Because when he isn’t devising more dubious schemes for internet views, he is alllllllll over you

Somehow being quarantined has amped up his testosterone an ungodly amount

And there’s only so much PornHub’s donated free subscriptions will take care of

But when all these fun and games finally come to a rest, Patrick is jumping off the walls in a completely different way

He has never had to be cooped up for so long, and his mental health disorders are really getting the best of him right now

It gets worse during the night, so you’ve started taking him out to stargaze to calm down

Afterwards, he finally starts to calm down and you actually get to spend some quality time with him

You’ve also found that puzzle games give him something to problem solve with rather than focus on his own labyrinth of a psyche

And in these moments the two of you can finally relax, listen to a creepy yet hilarious episode of Last Podcast On The Left, work on some sort of puzzle game, and enjoy some peace and fucking quiet for once

[marleahsblogs]

Top 5 Hobbies During the COVID-19 Pandemic

It has been almost two years now since the COVID-19 started. It has led to a dramatic loss of human life worldwide, has affected millions of people losing their jobs, homes, and loved ones. The governments were not ready to face the economic and existential threats; medical workers risked their lives trying to save countless patients every day. The military and police personnel went sleepless in the streets to keep the community disciplined. It has been two years of trying to survive to this pandemic that we did not know would change our whole lives.

The topic I have chosen After surviving this pandemic myself, I couldn't be more grateful to the Lord for preserving and protecting me. I may say that these could be one of the worst years of my life, but it has taught me a lot of things. Including being resourceful of my time, and learning how to cope up with a pandemic through existing and building new hobbies. I chose the topic, "Top 5 Hobbies During the COVID-19 Pandemic" because I want to know how other people are doing during this pandemic, as well as help other people on how to keep themselves sane in this new normal life. I have created a survey that consists of 34 respondents ages 16 and above, and below are the interesting results I have found from their responses. Top 5 Hobbies and Description of Each 1. Movies / Netflix & Chill Yep, this has gotten to the top spot of all hobbies. Ever since the cinemas closed due to the pandemic, this became the new tradition of the people worldwide. We can't help it, laying in the bed, and watching movies is one of the most chill things to do. I personally could spend half of the day doing Netflix and chill when I've got nothing else to do.

2. Listening to Music Another new normal thing we do is working from home and taking online classes. We tend to be bored with this new routine of rising up in bed, moving to the work desk, and going back to bed. One thing that could kill the boredom is listening to music. Simply listening to music can be soothing for the soul, mind, and body. It's an all-around mood booster that many enjoy.

3. Playing Video Games

Video games exploded in popularity when COVID-19 started. This was already famous before, but now it's everywhere. A video game is a game played using a desktop computer, laptop, mobile phone, and other electronic gaming devices. Before the pandemic, I barely played video games because I am more inclined in spending time with my friends. But now, I am playing crypto games to earn and have fun. Video games are a phenomenal form of entertainment best for the ongoing pandemic.

4. Playing with Pets We all have been severely affected by the loss of our daily routines as we know them and the prospect of further deaths from COVID-19. Therefore it is not surprising that we play with our cats, dogs, and other animals. Pets give emotional support without prejudice, and interaction with animals helps decrease tension and anxiety in especially in situations of stress.

5. Cooking and Baking

Cooking and baking are increasingly done not just for sustenance but also for comfort and entertainment by people who are self-quarantined. Study shows that it has various advantages, such as reducing stress and mood control. Cooking passion has grown into a type of self-care, which we have needed terribly through years of isolation.

The process on how I conducted the mini-survey

After deciding on the topic I want to use for the survey, I went to the Google Forms site. I made three sections for the whole mini-survey. The first one was informed consent. There, I discussed the purpose of the survey, what will be done, their confidentiality, and their right to withdraw anytime. I have noted that only ages 16 and above are allowed to participate in the survey. I also wrote my details in case they have inquiries about the survey. In the consent form, they will be clicking an option that says, "Yes, I agree." It confirms that they have read and understood the information I have given to them and that they voluntarily agree to answer the survey. In the second section, I created a demographic form where the participants could provide their personal details for data collection. The first two things they will be providing are a complete name and email address. However, as noted in the first section, they are not required to fill it in but only if they feel comfortable doing so. Then the last two things they should provide are age and gender.

The last section was the most fun part which is all about their top 5 hobbies during the COVID-19 pandemic. I made four questions for them to answer. The first question is, "What are your top five hobbies to do during the Covid-19 pandemic?" I chose the checkboxes as a type for that question. I put 15 options for them to choose from, including others as something else they have in mind that is not in the choices. The choices are the following: movies/Netflix and chill, video games, art, music, exercise/workout, learning a language, reading, cooking/baking, learn a craft, cleaning, organizing, virtual bonding with friends and family, taking care of plants, playing with pet/s, and others.

The second question for the third section of the survey was, "How many hours do you partake in the hobbies you specified above?" Here, I made three options and it is in multiple-choice type as they could only choose one option. The options are 0-5 hours, 6-10 hours, 11-12 hours, and more than 12 hours. The third question I made was, "Do your hobbies help you cope up with the ongoing pandemic?" wherein they would choose in a multiple-choice form of "yes", "no", or "maybe". And for the last question, I wanted them to share with me their thoughts and feelings about their top 5 hobbies during the Covid-19 pandemic. I chose the form of a paragraph, instead of a short answer because I want them to feel free in sharing their insights no matter how long. This was what I gave, "Kindly add up your thoughts and feelings about your top 5 hobbies during the Covid-19 pandemic." And that was the end of my mini-survey.

Responses in the Mini-Survey

Now I am going to share with you the summary of my participants' responses. There was a total of 34 respondents, from ages 16-44. The age with the highest number of respondents is 21. 55.9% were females, while 44.1% were males. For the question of top five hobbies to do during the Covid-19 pandemic, I will be listing the answers from the highest count to the lowest: movies/Netflix and chill (85.3%), music (70.6%), video games (70.6%), playing with pet/s (52.9%), cooking/baking (44.1%), exercise/workout (38.2%), virtual bonding with friends and family (29.4%), organizing (26.5%), reading (26.5%), cleaning (23.5%), learning a language (11.8%), taking care of plants (5.9%), learning a craft (2.9%). The other options provided by my participants are writing (2.9%), tutorials (2.9%), learning map-making/geography and "dinosaur" anatomy/mechanics (2.9%), sleeping (2.9%), series, TikTok, dancing (2.9%).

Most of my participants spent 6-10 hours partaking in their hobbies, followed by 0-5 hours, then more than 12 hours, and lastly 6-10 hours. This shows that they are actually spending a lot of time doing their hobbies during the pandemic. 73.5% said that their hobbies helped them cope up with the ongoing pandemic, 23.5% said maybe, and 2.9% said that it didn't. Lastly, their thoughts and feelings about their hobbies during the pandemic were mostly positive.

Here's a small reminder to keep you motivated during this COVID-19 pandemic. God bless! ♡

[canis-lunaris]

One of the things I love about fandom is that you get to see so many different takes and concepts on the worlds and characters you love. There are so many amazing works out there, so many lovingly crafted and polished fantasies that hadn't only showed me new aspects of these people whom I consider among my oldest friends, and the universes that used to be the ultimate refuge from my lonely childhood, but through the stories, art and other fanworks, I get to experience the creators' passion for the subject as well, and just knowing that there are other people out there who cherish them too makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

There are so many great characters across multiple fandims to whom I have a deep and meaningful connection and who taught me some of the most important lessons about friendship, dedication, bravery, resilience and so on forward, and I still love each and every one of them, but the thing I have for Sirius is a bit different.

I feel like I need to clarify this, because I'm aware that even within the community's understanding of people imrpinting on certain characters, mostly based on the qualities in them that makes it possible for us to project our own self-understanding onto them, what I ended up with is some next-level bullshit.

Okay, so the easiest way I can explain it is like how friends or couples often develop this language of their own, based on references, shorthands and inside jokes that go so far back and so many layers down that explaining them to an outsider is nearly impossible, part because of the vastness of the network of connections by association, and part because even the people who came up with them in the first place lost track of the original points.

That's kind of how far, or how deep down my connection with Sirius goes, which also means that by now, my understanding of him is only very loosely connected to the canonical character. (And if I want to be honest about it, through a series of random coincidences, I amalgamated the two of us, to the point where when I talk about "Sirius this or that", I actually mostly mean "I this or that".)

I think this is largely connected to the fact that I am not the best at processing, or even expressing my own emotions, and through writing or roleplay, I can look at the situation from one step removed, which somehow helps. Like, I can just be Sirius for a while, and watch how he reacts and what he feels in a situation similar to that of my own, and through him I get to safely experiment with different ways of expression, or explore ideas and behaviours that are too far from my own MO, but are perfectly within his reach. It can also help me clear my head, or just have a break from worrying about my own life's challenges and worry about someone else's for a while.

I think it's not uncommon for people to engage in this type of involved roleplay in everyday situations, like how it's sometimes easier to do something anxiety-inducing if you can just pretend to be someone who doesn't have those same anxieties. It's a very useful coping mechanism for someone like me, and somehow, between the pages, Sirius became my coping mechanism, and a part of me permanently became Sirius.

At this point, I'm not sure the two concepts can be truly separated from each other, and even less sure whether I would want to separate them. And to complete the cycle, my Sirius found his Remus where I have found my August, and our respective love stories reverberate and amplify each other. August and Julien, Remus and Sirius. These are just synonymous concepts in my mind that no longer make sense without the context of one another.

I guess, my life has somehow become "that one AU", one amongst the countless ones we invent and explore together, processing, growing, healing, falling in love over and over again, channelling our losses and trauma into something creative and beautiful.

"Hello, and welcome to Wolfstar Therapy..." *cue intro music*

[sweet-curried-powder]

Happy Birthday, Edward!

Technically, Edward’s birthday isn’t until tomorrow, but I was too damn excited!!

I really wanted to do something special for Edward’s birthday, so I thought I’d write him a little something to celebrate!

There’s also some self-indulgent Chredwis in here, because there isn’t enough of that out there.

Characters: Edward Quinton, Chris Jackson, Drew and Nevin Jovel, Isaac Beamer, Ell Fisher

Word count: 2,164

Warnings: Swearing

The boys belong to @onebizarrekai​, Ell belongs to me, and the picture was drawn by my good friend @oakskull​!

Fic is under the cut!

Happy birthday, Edward!

***

Chris was ten seconds away from a fucking panic attack. He was pacing back and forth, muttering to himself, finishing off his fourth chocolate bar in the span of ten minutes.

“Okay, so Ell’s baking the cake, Nevin’s cooking other stuff, Drew’s finishing up the playlist for the party…wait, what about the decorations? OH GOD, ARE THE DECORATIONS DONE?! THIS PARTY’S GONNA SUCK ASS IF THERE ISN’T ANY DECORA-”

“Calm your tits, man!” Isaac sighed, walking in the room with a box of handmade decorations. He put them down and held up a banner that said, ‘Happy Birthday, King Edward Quinton!’ There were crowns drawn on it with shiny markers, and it was covered in rhinestones and glitter. “Also gonna toot my own horn and say it’s some of my best work.”

“Oh, thank Kai,” Chris sighed, relaxing. “...Why is it so shiny, though?”

“It’s Edward’s birthday. Everyone knows that your birthday is the one day per year that you get to feel important!” Isaac grinned. “Plus I wanted to use a ton of glitter and rhinestones.”

“Isaac, honey, I love you, but how much did you even USE?” Drew cried, squinting at the banner and shielding his eyes.

“You remember when I went to the arts and crafts store with the five hundred dollars Ell gave me?”

“Yeah?”

“Two hundred and fifty dollars were spent on anything that sparkled.”

Drew facepalmed.

“Well, the aesthetic does look pretty nice,” Chris nodded. “Ell, do me a favor and use your telekinesis to help hang all of these up.”

“Gotcha, Chris-cross!” Ell grinned, lifting her hand. The banner lifted in the air all on its own. She lifted the box up with her hands and wandered off to decorate the rest of Chris’s house.

“I can’t believe that your dad’s okay with holding Ed’s party here,” Isaac said. “I figured that he’d say no to this.”

“Oh, Dad doesn’t know,” Chris replied. “He’s been on a business trip since Monday. He won’t be back until late next week. As long as we clean everything up afterwards, he won’t suspect a thing.”

“Damn, you’re being a rebel, aren’t you?” Drew raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, because this is important! Tomorrow is Ed’s big day!” Chris cried. “Tomorrow has to be absolutely perfect! Just like he is…”

“What was that last part?” Nevin asked, leaning closer to the monochromatic teenager.

“NOTHING!” Chris shouted, face going red, turning to Ell. “Ell, you’re gonna pick Ed up later so he can spend the night at your house, right? You know, to keep him busy so we can set up the finishing touches the next morning?”

“Uh-huh!” Ell gave Chris a thumbs up. “I’m gonna get up early and sneak over here to bake and decorate the cake. If all goes well, I should be back before Edward even wakes up.”

“Remind me why Edward’s gonna stay the night at Ell’s house, again?” Isaac asked. “He could’ve stayed at my place. We’re on pretty good terms.”

“Ell lives the furthest away from all of us,” Chris reminded him. “I’d have him stay at my house, but obviously we can’t, since we’re having the party here.”

“And we all know what Chris would do to Ed if they spent the night alone with each other,” Ell added.

“Jesus fucking Christ, guys! It’s not like that!” Chris cried. “We’d just play birthday games.”

“Birthday games?” Drew repeated.

“Yeah! Like Spin the Bottle, 7 Minutes in Heaven…”

“Chris, those aren’t birthday games,” Isaac facepalmed. “Those are the types of games that horny teenagers play at parties.”

“Hey, who can blame him? That’s how I would want to ring in MY birthday.” Ell’s face started to turn red. “But with somebody else, if you catch my drift…”

“Ell, stop it. You’re gonna bleed on the carpet.” Drew sighed, pulling out a tissue and handing it to Ell.

“Alright, everyone regroup here tomorrow morning at 8 am to put on the finishing touches! Ed’s… er, cronies will arrive a few hours before, and Ell and Ed should be here at noon! Don’t be late!”

Everyone said their goodbyes and went their separate ways, Isaac getting into his car, Drew and Nevin heading home, and Ell walking towards Ed’s house.

Chris shut the door behind him, sliding to the floor. He was nervous. So, so nervous. This party was one of the many surprises that he had for Edward, when tomorrow came.

“Tomorrow is going to be perfect,” Chris said aloud to the empty house. “It has to be. For Edward.”

********************************************

Edward’s cake looked amazing. It was several layers tall, and was frosted in different colors, and even had a tiny little Edward made of modeling chocolate and fondant.

“It’s not really one of my best creations, but Ed’ll like it,” Ell shrugged, wiping some frosting off of her cheek.

“Not one of your best?!” Chris cried. “This is the best birthday cake I’ve ever seen in my life! How did you even manage to make this in two hours?”

“I’ve been in a ton of baking competitions before. No biggie.” Ell blew some hair out of her face. “You gotta learn to work quickly in those sort of things.”

“Did you win a few of them?” Chris asked, intrigued.

“Nope. I won them all.” Ell grinned. “What did you think all those trophies in my living room came from?”

“Martial arts competitions,” Chris replied without hesitation.

“You’re not wrong, actually. I just keep those trophies in my room.” Ell checked the time. “I better go. Ed’s gonna wake up any minute now, and I need to keep the B-day boy distracted.”

“Alright,” Chris sighed. “I’ll call you if I need you to distract him for even longer.”

“That won’t happen.” Ell smiled at Chris, confident.

“How do you know?”

“Let me ask you a question.” Ell leaned in close to Chris. “Do you love Edward?”

Chris’s face went completely and totally red.

“Well, the same generic and platonic love I share with all of my friends and family-”

“No, you dumbass! I mean romantically! Sexually! That kind of love! Do you love Edward in that way?”

Chris balled his hands up into fists. He could lie in this situation, say that he didn’t, but Ell could read minds, and on top of that, she could instantly tell whether someone was lying or telling the truth, so denying that he loved Edward in this situation proved moot.

“Yes. I romantically and sexually love Edward,” Chris admitted, his cheeks warming.

“In that case, I believe that you’ve got this in the bag,” Ell smiled. “You won’t let anything go wrong for him. It’s his birthday, and you want to make it really special for him. You want to give him a birthday that he’ll never forget, in the best way possible. And you’ll succeed.”

“You really think so?”

“I don’t think so. I know so. Telekinetic’s intuition.” Ell tapped her head, looking like the guy from the “you can’t do” meme.

Chris chuckled. “Thanks, Ell. You’re the best.”

“You’re welcome. That’ll be thirty bucks.”

“WHAT?!”

“I’m kidding! God…”

******************************

Edward felt something sit down on his chest, followed by a heavenly smell. He opened his eyes, and Ell was sitting on him, a party horn in her mouth, holding a tray.

Ell blew on the horn, and she took it out of her mouth using her telekinesis. “Bon anniversaire! Feliz cumpleanos! Happy birthday!”

“You made me breakfast in bed? That’s awfully nice of you!” Edward grinned, taking the tray. “Ooh! French toast!”

“Not just any French toast!” Ell grinned. “It’s my grandmother’s special Nutella French toast! The recipe’s been in my family since the day Nutella was first sold in 1964!”

Edward took a bite of it, and his eyes lit up. “Holy shit, this tastes amazing! Nevin would probably kill for this recipe!”

“Yeah, I figured, which is why I haven’t told him about this,” Ell chuckled. “Do me a solid and keep this under wraps, will you?”

“It’s the least I can do,” Edward nodded, taking another bite. “Damn, I gotta say, you’re a really good cook.”

“Oh, thanks. I’m mostly self-taught.” Ell crossed her legs. “So, do you have any plans for today?”

“I usually go out for dinner on my birthday with my family, but I’m pretty much free until then,” Edward said. “I think I might go see Chris. My cronies probably got me something. Well, at least Cody, probably.”

“Oh, I bet you’ll see them soon,” Ell smiled. “Trust me.”

“Okay…” Edward took another bite. While he was distracted, Ell checked the time. She needed to keep Edward distracted for four hours. While some people would think that was impossible, she knew how to do it.

“You know, there’s this new store that opened up nearby that’s full of weird stuff,” Ell said, rubbing her thumb and forefinger together. “And I heard this rumor from one of the librarians that the place had some haunted items…”

“Haunted? As in, ghosts?” Edward leaned forward.

Ell nodded.

“Well, what are we waiting for?! LET’S GO!” Edward shoved the rest of the toast in his mouth and started taking his shirt off.

“HEY! Girl in the room!!” ********************************

“You want… that book?” Ell asked, raising an eyebrow as Edward held up a dusty, old book with some kind of symbol on the cover.

“Yep!” Edward grinned.

Ell breathed in deeply. “Dude, I know it’s your birthday, and I don’t mean to shoot you down on your special day, but I haven’t seen you pick up a book that wasn’t assigned to you for class.”

“Well, unlike you, I do all my recreational reading in the comfort of my own home, and only there,” Edward said, holding the book to his chest. “Besides, this book is just oozing with supernatural stuff. I can feel it in my bones.”

“Alright, if you say so,” Ell shrugged, giving the cashier several hundred dollar bills. “Keep the change, m’theydy.”

The cashier looked confused, but put the money in the register without complaint.

It was almost noon. Time for Ed to get so fucking surprised.

“Hey, Chris just texted me,” Ell said, looking at Edward with a gleam in her eyes. “He asked me to bring you over to his house. He has something for you.”

Edward’s cheeks dusted pink.

“Edward? You alright, buddy?” Ell asked.

“I-I’m fine!” Edward said rather quickly. “L-let’s hurry up.” Ell grinned, grabbed Edward’s hand, and fucking ran. For someone who was the shortest person in Foxfield High School, she was fast.

“Ell, slow down! Christ alive!” Edward cried, stumbling to catch up to his younger friend.

Ell finally screeched to a stop in front of Chris’s house.

“Chris said to just go on in,” Ell said, panting slightly. “I’m gonna go use the bathroom.” She dashed inside the house, opening and shutting the door quickly.

“Okay, everyone! He’s here!” Ell whispered.

“Okay everyone, go and hide!” Chris hissed. “When Ed comes in, count to three, and then jump out and yell, ‘Surprise’! Got that?”

Everyone nodded, scrambling to find a hiding spot. Ell used her powers to turn the lights off as she hid behind the couch next to the twins.

Edward opened the door, entering the dark house. “Hello? Chris?” He squinted, looking around the pitch-black house. “Are you home?”

Ell turned the lights back on, and everyone jumped out from their hiding spots.

“SURPRISE!” Everyone yelled. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

���W-what? A… a party?” Edward looked around the room in disbelief. “You guys set this all up?”

“Actually, it was Chris,” Isaac admitted, elbowing Chris in the side. “He got the idea in the first place. The rest of us helped in our own little ways. I made the decorations, if you can guess.”

Edward held back laughter as he looked at the extremely glittery banner that was hanging on a wall. He turned to Chris. “You planned all of this by yourself?”

Chris nodded, his face turning slightly pink. “It’s your birthday. I wanted to make it really special for you. I hope you like it.”

“Well, I don’t like it.”

Chris felt his heart sink. “O-oh. I’m-”

“I love it!”

Chris blinked. “Y-you do?”

“Yeah!” Edward grinned. “I can’t believe you went through the trouble of planning a huge surprise party just for me. It’s such a great birthday gift.”

Chris looked at Ell from the corner of his eye. She gave him a knowing look, and nodded, as if she was telling her to go for it. Chris took a deep breath.

“Well, can I give you another gift?” Chris asked.

“Sure! What is-”

Chris grabbed Edward, dipped him down, and gave him a long, deep, passionate kiss. Isaac and Nevin fucking sceamed, while everyone else stared in awe.

After thirty thrilling seconds, Chris separated from a blushing Edward.

“Happy birthday,” Chris grinned.

Edward stood there, frozen for a good while, before he smiled back, tears of joy streaming down his face.

“Thank you.”

[thebiasrekkers]

Shadow’s Birthright | MYG

Chapter 01: Strength of Silence

Plot: Riding in on thunder and lightning, two princes are born. But a crown cannot be shared. It can only be worn by one and one alone. The hands of man have separated the brothers, allowing one to live in wealth and comfort inside the palace while the other grows up among commoners. But Fate cannot be destroyed by the hands of man. A shared destiny reunites the brothers; one to become a king who descends into madness and the other will rise as a dragon whose journey has only just begun in order to claim a crown he does not desire to have.

Rating: NC-17 // NSFW

Genre: series | historical!au | fantasy!au | angst | romance | drama | tragedy

Pairing: Min Yoongi (Lee Yoon) x Female OC (Kalina Shuri)

Warnings: Historical setting, caste system, magic/sorcery, graphic violence, disturbing graphic images, religious tones, angst, slow burn, eventual smut

Previous Chapters: Prologue

Links: FAQ || BTS Masterlist || Admin E’s AO3 || [ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ]

Word Count: 3,964

Tag List: @luxekook​, @pinkpjmin​, @btsaudge​, @flowerwrites06​, @stillcopingxx​, @taevkimchi​, @aroseforyoongi​, @vivpurple7​, @happilystrongthroughthedark​, @sw33tnight​, @nikkitane​, 

AN: Sorry this has taken so long for me to get out. With all the madness happening in the world, I just needed a break and decided to throw myself into just writing. I’ve received so much love on the prologue for this series so I’m happy to present you all with the first chapter. It’s a hefty time jump, but who doesn’t like one of those, am I right? If anyone else would like to be added to the tag list, feel free to drop me a line!

P.S. Please bear in mind that while the historical accuracy will be mostly correct, I am setting this in a time period in Joseon history where there was no such thing as a king who had a twin brother. Obviously that’s where the fiction/creative freedom is going to come in. Everything else will be period accurate, trust and believe.

© thebiasrekkers (Admin E). All rights reserved. Reposting/modifying our work is prohibited. Translations are not allowed. Plagiarism/stealing is not tolerated by any means. Legal action will be taken in instances of theft.

“Silence is a great source of strength.” - Lao Tzu

23 Years Later

Yoongi sat on the edge of a large rock, his eyes peering out over the deep grays and blues of the wide mountainous landscape. Summer mornings were his favorite and while he knew he could get an extra hour or two of sleep, seeing the sun rise above the mountain tops always filled him with a new vigor. There was just something about greeting the day that allowed him to truly feel alive. He could never fully explain it.

A soft whimper issued beside him and he craned his neck to look at the gray and black wolf seated at his feet. Pulling the sprig of barley from his mouth, Yoongi reached down to pet the wolf’s head and it panted happily in response; its thick tail swinging back and forth at the attention it received from its master. It made a small noise from pleasure, the sound of its panting intensifying little by little with each pet.

Chuckling, he scratched the canine between its ears. “You’re so needy, San-ah,” he teased, watching the wolf stand on all fours as he peered his pale blue eyes up at him. “You’ve got to be the luckiest fool in the entire kingdom of Joseon.”

The wolf barked happily, spinning in place, and then plopped his rump back down on the grass. This caused Yoongi to laugh loudly and he waved the barley sprig at the wolf’s nose. 

Growing up in the countryside, it wasn’t uncommon for wolves to linger around in the forests and mountains. But for a young cub to get abandoned during the Winter was more than Yoongi could stand. After begging his father to let him take the small wolf pup home, promising to take care of him, the two of them were inseparable. The other villagers were concerned with Yoongi raising a predator. But after being at his side for the last four years, the village came to appreciate San and often showered him with the same amount of affection as he did; if not more.

Yoongi could safely say that San was his best friend in the world. 

The wolf leaped up, pressing his large paws into Yoongi’s lap and began licking his face. San’s tongue caressed over the scar tissue on the right side of his face and he gently shoved the animal away. His fingers pressed over the scar, tracing the pads up from his cheek all the way above his eyebrow. Sighing, he tossed the barley sprig away and motioned for San to follow him just as the morning sun crested over the mountains. 

“Let’s head back,” he said, reaching down behind the rock to pick up the large wooden pail of spring water, “you know how the old man gets when he doesn’t have his morning tea.”

Again, San barked, before tearing off ahead of him to sniff out the trail. Yoongi could navigate his way through the forest and mountains with his eyes closed, but his companion always insisted on being careful. He’d barely made it twenty paces before the wolf returned and walked patiently at his side. 

The trek through the forest and down the mountain path was short, but only because Yoongi knew it so well. San barreled down the expansive green hill just as his father appeared from the doorway, a large axe draped over his shoulders. Yoongi rushed down the hill with hurried steps, cradling the wooden bucket in his arms so he wouldn’t accidentally spill the water in his haste.

“Father!” Yoongi called, to which the broad-shouldered and bronze-skinned man lifted his head just as he finished petting San’s back. “I can take care of that!” 

The lower half of his father’s face was covered in facial hair; always well-groomed. His dark eyes, while usually intimidating, always held a certain degree of warmth in them when he looked at Yoongi. Instead of answering him, he simply straightened his posture and proceeded to head toward the side of their modest home to proceed cutting wood for the fire.

Sighing, Yoongi gave up trying to convince his father to let him take care of the more laborious chores again. Instead, he shooed San into the house and started preparing breakfast. It didn’t take Yoongi long to see they were missing quite a few things from the food storage that would need to be replaced soon. Namely eggs, meat, and a few key vegetables.

“I’ll just have to do what I can,” he murmured as he began washing the barley in a small basin. Yoongi frowned. This wouldn’t be an issue if we lived closer to the village.

It wasn’t the first time he bitterly thought of how inconveniently far away they lived from the rest of the world. Yoongi only could go as far as the local village and that was a task and a half trying to convince his father to let him do even just that. When his father left every few years for days at a time to visit the Capital, Yoongi was forced to stay behind. He’d never been to the Crown City, not once. But he wanted to, insisting that he could get better books and even practice a trade or go to school. He could start working to take care of the household for a change.

Every time the matter was brought up, however, his father scowled and forbade him from thinking or speaking such foolishness. But to Yoongi, it wasn’t foolish. He believed he was trying to do his best by his father in wanting to take care of him. What father wouldn’t want that for their son? Why did he have to grow up differently from everyone else?

What little education he received was all self-taught. He kept most of his studies a secret, not wanting to anger or worry his father. But he knew that he would eventually have to marry and raise a family. Since his father didn’t want to pass along his knowledge, he had little choice but to strike out on his own and do what he could. His father wouldn’t be around forever and he couldn’t expect to spend his youth idling around.

The one thing his father did teach him, much to Yoongi’s persistence, was the ability to fight. 

A humble breakfast was completed and the two of them ate in relative silence. He watched his father sneak a few pieces of meat to San and the wolf lovingly spread itself across his lap. Yoongi shoved rice into his mouth in annoyance, chewing loudly but knowing that it wouldn’t actually bother either of them into paying him any attention.

“Weren’t you the one who told me to stop doing that?” Yoongi asked mid-chew. “He’s spoiled now because of you.”

His father leaned back and released a hearty chuckle that never failed to warm Yoongi’s heart. “Did I? I can’t recall.”

He scoffed, grabbing some of the spinach out of one of the wooden bowls. “Of course you can’t.” 

His eyes caught the scars on his father’s arms as he rubbed his hands lovingly over San’s fur. They were sword scars. Yoongi knew this, even if his father never told him so. Training him in martial arts was a clear enough indication that his father must have been a seasoned warrior in his younger years. The harshness of his training regiment was proof enough for Yoongi.

Min Dojin. 

His father never spoke much about his past, or even about Yoongi’s mother. After a childish tantrum, he came to accept that his mother must have died sometime after he was born. Those were the words that the villagers passed on and they never pitied Yoongi. It wasn’t because they were heartless. It was just a factor of life in their country. If anything, he was fortunate to still have his father, freeing him from the shackle of being branded an orphan. 

But on lonely nights, Yoongi missed the warmth of a mother’s embrace. Something he wasn’t familiar with, but felt that it was a distant memory that refused to fade from his mind. 

“There’s some money in the lock box if you need anything,” his father said suddenly, slicing through his thoughts.

He blinked, realizing that his father already cleared the dishes away. Had he spaced out that much? Scrambling to his feet, he tried to follow after his father and nearly tripped over San circling in between his legs. 

“Are you leaving for the Capital?”

A frown touched his father’s features. “Yes.”

Yoongi felt his brows furrow. He knew how much his father despised going to the Crown City and never understood why. Even though he offered to run his father’s errands for him, he was denied every opportunity to travel that far from home. It clearly wasn’t for his own safety. Yoongi could more than take care of himself. But he didn’t have the heart to accuse his own father of keeping anything from him.

“How long will you be gone this time?”

“Two weeks.”

Again, he blinked. This time from surprise. “T-That long?!” His eyes followed after his father as he began gathering his traveling satchel and walking cane. “You’re going to leave me here alone?”

His father chuckled as he turned and raised his brows at his son. “You have San.”

Folding his arms across his chest, he frowned. “You’re just so funny, Father.”

He laughed again. “Kali promised she would come by to check on you if you needed anything.”

“Kali-ssi?” A soft warmth touched his cheeks at the mention of Kali and he quickly averted his gaze. Yoongi cleared his throat loudly as he placed a hand on the back of his neck. “She needn’t bother.”

He could see his father’s cheeky grin without even having to look at it. “I asked her to.” Yoongi whipped his head around to peer into his father’s eyes. “She said she had some interesting stories to share with you.” His grin widened a measure. “And maybe a gift or two?”

Yoongi slid his fingers through his cropped bangs, tugging at them for a measure. “I see,” was all he said as he rubbed his hair between his thumb and forefinger. 

With a grunt, his father shouldered his satchel more comfortably and made his way toward the entrance of their home. San followed after him but stopped at the entryway, his tail wagging as he uttered a guttural whine from his throat. Yoongi watched his father lean down to pet the wolf between his ears, his eyes lifting to meet his own.

“If anything happens--”

“I know,” Yoongi replied softly, “take everything in the lock box and abandon the house.” He sighed. “Have a safe journey.”

He felt his father’s large hand fall onto his shoulder and for a moment, all they did was share a silent look. His father’s smile looked noticeably more solemn than usual. He patted Yoongi’s shoulder, then turned and made his way toward the edge of the forest. San barked after him before bolting off to chase a cluster of butterflies. Yoongi waited until his father disappeared from view before retreating back into the house. 

No matter how hard he tried, Yoongi couldn’t help but feel his chest tighten with worry.

Yoon sat perched in one of the large magnolia trees in his palace garden. He cradled his plum colored crown in his arms, the rich cobalt of his silk robes reflecting from the sunlight. The silver dragons embroidered in his clothing seemed to shimmer against the morning light and he sighed as he peered through the tree’s canopy. Eunuchs and maidservants alike were running around through his palace courtyard and he remained silent - purposely ignoring their screaming pleas for him to come out from hiding.

He scoffed, sliding his hands behind his head as he leaned back further into the trunk of the tree. No one’s hiding, he thought bitterly, you’re all just too incompetent to find me.

“Cheo-ha,” came a sharp whisper from above him, causing Yoon to sit up abruptly. 

“Who’s there?” he called back quietly, glancing every so often down to make sure none of his attendants heard him. “Reveal yourself!”

A long plaited braid suddenly dangled from above as he saw his younger sister’s face flashing an upside down smile. His frown deepened, not sure what her intentions were but Yoon knew he wanted nothing to do with them. She made a satisfied noise before dropping down hard into his lap. Yoon grunted, his arms flailing to both keep his balance and to maintain a hold of his crown. The princess plucked it easily from the air, preventing it from falling.

“You shouldn’t be so careless with your things, Crown Prince,” she said while smiling up at him. 

“It’s none of your concern,” Yoon snapped, attempting to snatch it back from her but she stretched her arms up and away from him. He threw her a harsh glare. “Saeryung-ah…” His tone dropped in a clear warning.

Saeryung pouted before she sighed. “Fine. You’re always no fun.” She motioned for him to lean forward a bit. “Let me put it back on for you.”

“Do as you like,” he said, leaning forward so she could replace the crown over his platinum blonde hair. Once it was situated comfortably, he peered at her as she continued to pout, kicking her legs up and down while still in his lap. “Why are you here, Saeryung-ah? Don’t you have lessons to attend to with your teacher?”

The princess puffed out one of her cheeks defiantly while folding her arms across her chest in a completely unbecoming fashion for female royals. “I’ve already memorized The Book of Filial Piety!”

Yoon sighed. “There are other books that you need to study from.” He reached out and pet his sister’s head and she turned to look at him. “Being a princess isn’t just a title. You have other responsibilities.”

“Not nearly as many as you do, Orabeoni.” 

The term caught Yoon off guard and he could only blink in stunned silence at her. The Princess must have realized her slipup because she quickly covered her mouth and gasped sharply. However, instead of chastising her, Yoon poked at her nose. Ever since he became Crown Prince, his studies and responsibilities steadily increased. His father was still able to rule the country, but there were disturbing rumors in the palace walls that spoke of his failing health. If that were the truth, then it would only be a matter of time before he was left to ascend to the throne.

Saeryung wouldn’t have any more opportunities to call him “big brother” when that day came.

“Forgive me, Crown Prince! I didn’t mean--”

“It’s fine, Saeryung-ah,” Yoon replied in a soothing tone as he petted her head again, “until I’m King, you can call me your Orabeoni.”

Her apologetic expression melted into one of pure joy. He smirked, then narrowed his eyes and pointed at her nose. She crossed her eyes at the sudden gesture.

“But you can only call me such when it is just the two of us. Understood?”

She nodded happily and was about to hug him when sudden outcries reached them from below.

“Seja Cheo-ha! Gongju-nim!”

“You both must come down from there at once!”

“We will be in terrible trouble if His Majesty finds out we were not at your sides!”

The two of them gazed down at their attendants frantically shifting below them. Rolling his eyes, Yoon scooped up his sister into his arms. Gasping slightly, she clung to his neck as he shifted to a standing position in the tree. His attendants continued to move about fearfully, screaming for him to be careful. He bit back a growl before leaping from the tree and into the air. His robes fluttered around him and he landed easily on the ground, setting his sister down and her servants were immediately at her side to straighten out her hair and robes.

“Princess, you shouldn’t be climbing trees like that!” her maid fussed as she finished tidying up Saeryung’s appearance. “Her Majesty, the Queen, would be appalled if she discovered it.”

Namgil, Yoon’s eunuch, appeared at his side and also adjusted his royal robes. He waited patiently for him to finish, not really listening to the slew of things flying from his attendant’s mouth. However, one particular sentence stood out and caused Yoon to pause, craning his neck to look straight into Namgil’s face.

“What did you say?” he asked, raising a curious brow.

The eunuch bowed his head low, unsure if he’d offended the Crown Prince or not. “Your Majesty requests your presence in his study.”

Yoon was suspicious. His father never called for him in his personal study. Let alone in the middle of the day. The King was fully aware of his itinerary for the afternoon. Yoon was scheduled for martial arts training and riding lessons. Was he supposed to rush through whatever matter his father wanted to speak with him about and make his instructors wait? 

If Father is in his study, then it’s a personal matter, Yoon surmised, sighing as he clasped his hands behind his back, which is surprising all by itself.

Narrowing his eyes, he gestured for Namgil to lead the way. He took two steps forward and paused to look around. “...where’s Bidam?”

Just as confused as he was, Namgil spun his body in every direction before groaning. “Curse that Bidam! Leaving the Crown Prince’s side for even a moment!”

Leaves rustled to his right and Yoon quickly pivoted on his back heel to avoid whatever was aimed for him. A sharp whistle tore through the air and he dipped down, his knee crashing to the grass as his shoulders tensed. He was on high alert now after two attacks were propelled in his direction. There would not be a third attempt while he was unarmed.

Namgil screamed after him as Yoon dashed toward the edge of the steps leading to his palace. Reaching underneath the wooden floor panels, he slid a sword from the sheath with one clean motion just as another object hurled itself directly at his head. Lifting the blade up, he blocked the object and felt the handle rattle between his fingers. Something landed at his feet and Yoon recognized it as a throwing knife. Smirking, the Crown Prince took a breath and swept the blade across his body.

Focus, he told himself, you know that he’s here. You just have to pinpoint his location.

The heavy thud of his own heart ached inside of Yoon’s chest. A bead of sweat formed on his brow and he was keenly aware that Namgil and the servants fled the scene. Probably to go fetch the Royal Guard. It was so unnecessary. He wasn’t defenseless. He’d made damn sure of that. 

Yoon licked his lips, the flutter of sparrow wings the signal he needed. Launching from his position, he roared at a nearby cluster of bushes. Seconds before he swept his blade down over the hedge, a body leaped from behind. Metal clashed against metal as sword blades made contact. Yoon felt his crown shift on his head before falling to the ground, revealing his pale hair in the morning sunlight. His muscles tensed when the sword clashed against his blade, forcing his boots to skid along the ground and he was now face to face with his assailant.

He grinned. “There you are, Bidam-ah.” Yoon’s voice was slightly strained from the force pushing against him.

Bidam, his bodyguard, grinned back at him. His dark hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, his thick brows lifting teasingly as he continued to push all of his weight behind his sword. “Good Morning, Seja Cheo-ha,” he said, sweat falling from his temple, “you’re a little slow this morning. Is your mind elsewhere, Your Highness?”

Yoon scoffed, taking a step forward and forcing Bidam to take one back. “My mind is always elsewhere. Haven’t you realized that by now?” 

He swung his leg out to kick Bidam but his bodyguard predicted this. He watched as Bidam backward somersaulted into the air. Just when Yoon was going to unleash his counterattack, several sets of feet thundered into his palace garden. He lowered his stance and Bidam immediately sheathed his sword as the Queen and her attendants rushed inside, followed swiftly by the Royal Guard. Yoon bit back a groan at the fearful expression etched over his mother’s features.

“Seja!” she cried, all but running to him. “Are you alright, my Prince?!” He stood patiently as she looked over his entire body to make sure that he was, in fact, free of injuries. “I feared the worst!”

A small measure of guilt welled up inside of Yoon’s heart. He wished his mother would stop needlessly worrying over him. “I am fine , Mother. I was training with Bidam.” He cast a casual smirk to Bidam who met his gaze briefly before lowering his head. “Right, Bidam-ah?”

Bidam immediately fell to one knee, one arm crossing his chest as he pounded his fist into his collar. “Forgive me for stirring up chaos in the Palace, Your Majesty.”

The Queen’s shoulders visibly sank and her attendants were at her side to keep her from losing her balance. Namgil retrieved the prince’s crown and handed it back to him. He held it out to his mother who took it in her trembling hands as she watched Yoon lower himself at the Queen’s feet. Some of the servants gasped and whispered to each other and the Prince continued to stare at the patch of grass around the hems of his mother’s robes.

Hearing her sigh, she gently set his crown back atop his head, her gentle hands framing his face. She lifted his head so that he was now staring up at her. “It is good to train your body and mind, My Prince, but please be careful. You are the future father of this nation. If your body is harmed, your people are harmed. When your people are sick, you are sick. Do you understand, Seja?”

“Yes, Mother. I understand.” Standing to his full height, he let his mother take his hands into hers. Her fingers caressed over his knuckles. 

“Your Father was asking for you, wasn’t he?” The Queen looped her arm through his. “Would you allow your mother to accompany you?”

“Of course,” Yoon said with a wide flourish of his arm, “but I thought you were scheduled to have tea with the Queen Dowager and the princesses?”

The Queen hummed and nodded as they moved through the gardens of his palace and out over the bridge leading to the main palace. “I can take the time to escort the Crown Prince to his own destination.” 

Yoon’s entourage walked alongside his mother’s and they all chatted together in polite levels so as to not disturb the Queen and Crown Prince’s conversation. The days were peaceful, but mostly in part to how well-guarded the Palace was from the chaos of the outside world. But Yoon was no fool. Ming was growing restless because of Japanese opposition. It would only be a matter of time before Japan would attempt its invasion of Joseon in order to sink their claws into Ming.

He wondered if his father had any contingencies in place if such a thing were to actually transpire.

Arriving at the main palace gates, the Queen released Yoon’s arm and smiled. “Enjoy your time with your father, Seja.”

Yoon bowed, as did the rest of his servants. “Be well, Eomma Mama.” He waited until his mother and attendants were out of sight before turning back to face the main gate. “Let’s go.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #332

i’m even more tired than before to try and think up song lyrics, i’m pasting from Word and then fucking off to bed lmao.

What was the last video message you received on your phone? I think it was a clip of Doris (Sara's beardie) eating and just being her perfect self? Was your last birthday cake homemade or store bought? Store-bought. One thing you miss about middle school? Shit, nothing. Middle school was the worst. Do you have any shirts signed by famous people? No. Have you ever entered an art competition? Yes. Would you ever pierce yourself? No. I am very much about having a professional do your body mods/art. Plus, I have tremors in my hands. Do you live in a safe neighbourhood? Supposedly. We haven't lived here nearly long enough to know. What is the last thing you did that shocked someone? /shrug Do you often find yourself questioning your future? Only always. Have you ever been for a ride in the back of a truck? Yeah. Do you like your license photo? I hate my permit picture. Are you into superheroes? Who’s your favorite? Not very, but I like 'em enough. I always say my favorite is Deadpool, but I know he's technically an anti-hero, but whatever. If you don't include him, uhhhh... maybe Spiderman. Have you started watching any new TV shows recently? No. Have you ever been able pet a normally wild animal, like a tiger or dolphin? No. :( At least, not to my recollection. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. There's actually a winter treat 'round here that you make with snow and sugar called snow cream. Good stuff. What is the messiest area in your home? Right now, the spare room/my wanna-be "office." What’s your favorite computer game genre? Still horror, like video games. Do you have any exes your parents never liked? No. Have you received financial help from your parents in the past 5 years? I'm completely financially dependent on them still. Are you a fast or a slow eater? I eat like, stupid fast, but without being messy. People *cough*Mom*cough* will absolutely point it out, but I seriously can't help it. Making a conscious effort to eat slow feels way too weird. What was the last thing you purchased from a small local business? I don't know. Is there anyone in your family/household whom you frequently argue with? No. Have you ever used chewing tobacco? Ew, no. Tell me what's on your mind? I've been considering yet again reaching out to some tattoo parlors and asking if they're open to hiring someone to handle the front desk and take care of business besides actually performing piercing and tattooing, given my tremors. My group therapy has kinda been encouraging me to use the possibility for social exposure, and besides, I'm very comfortable in the environment and just general aura of tat parlors. I'm sure I'd have to answer the phone, handle money, and obviously talk to costumers, but I know and accept that. I've been at such a stagnant point with my social anxiety in particular that I have to start pushing back harder, and doing this I feel would be one of the most relaxed, social job positions I can hopefully handle. I don't dare to even try this though until I get vaccinated to protect my immunocompromised mom. Writing this all out has actually been pretty encouraging about this idea... Do you wish you never dated someone you dated? Yeah, Tyler. It was such a "I'm lonely and he was nice in high school, so we'll try it" situation. I got nothing from it. Are you scared of growing old alone? Pretty badly. What are you listening to right now? I'm listening to/semi-watching John Wolfe play the remaster of Resident Evil 2. What breed was the last dog you saw? He was a German shepherd. Would you ever go swimming during a thunderstorm? No. Any time a thunderstorm was brewing and I was in the pool, I'd always get out. What is the next concert you will attend? Mom and I plan to see Ozzy when/if he reschedules his tour after he had to cancel with his Parkinson's diagnosis. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy. :/ What's the highest science class you have taken? I don't know, actually. What makes you squeal like a school girl? No shame, seeing Mark and Amy do something cute together actually does this, lmao. What’s your favorite symbol? (i.e. the pentagram, the cross, etc.) Do fictional ones count? Because in that case, the Halo of the Sun from the Silent Hill franchise. I'm getting it tattooed somewhere at some point, I'm thinking the left side of my neck. I'm either gonna fashion it in a way where it looks branded on or carved into me. Have you ever been on anti depressants? For all of my pre-teen, teen, and some of my adult life. Apparently, I've only had one truly educated psychiatrist out of no less than a dozen I'd seen, because he fixed me right up. He taught me that those who suffer from bipolarity should avoid anti-depressants; they ramp up your bipolar symptoms. Instead, mood stabilizers are favorable. And what do you know, after I was prescribed a stabilizer and a catalyst for that medication, my depression decreased dramatically and became handleable. Have you ever starved yourself? Kinda. What’s the stupidest name you’ve ever given a pet? I had a guinea pig named Harry Potter. For no particular reason lmao. I'm not even a Harry Potter fan. Do you have nice legs? God no. Do you like fedoras? Okay so I know I am in the strong minority, but I actually do, haha. What is your favorite food group? Carbs. @_@ Have you ever got told that you should be a model? No, but one of the most flattering indirect compliments I've ever gotten was being mistaken for one. Jason's phone wallpaper was one of my favorite pictures of myself with my first snake, and someone asked him if I was a model. ;v;' What song is in a language you don’t speak, but you love it anyway? "Donaukinder" by Rammstein is one of my faves. Who’s a villain you sympathize with and why? SOBS Darkiplier bc his origins are so damn tragic and unfair. What book do you think should be directed as a film? Was The Giver ever made into one? I don't remember that book well, but I do recall it being absolutely beautiful. Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say? No. Have you ever edited Wikipedia? No. Have you ever edited any other wiki? Yeah. I have thousands on the Silent Hill wiki, where I'm one of the admins. I'm also a content moderator at the Team Ico (Shadow of the Colossus devs) one. Every now and again I used to go on the meerkats wiki as well, where I mainly fixed the fucking nightmarish grammar. Very briefly, I edited at the Dragons of Atlantis wiki as well. Do you get scared when you know some virus or sickness is being passed? Not very, but of course I still acknowledge the risk and am more conscious of hand washing and stuff. What popular social media platforms AREN’T you on? Snapchat, I don't actually use my Twitter, I don't have a personal Instagram... There may be more, idk. Is TikTok a "social media platform?" Because I don't have that, either. What was the name of the first porcelien doll you got? Never had one, given I was afraid of dolls as a kid. What’s your favorite Paramore song? "Decode." Would you be happy with a life without romance? To be entirely honest, I'd feel like I was missing something. Was your childhood happy? Mostly. What fundamentally matters do you? Love, kindness, peace, all that gooey stuff. Is true world peace ever possible? As much as I hate to admit it, I don't think so. The human population is far too big to come to a unanimous agreement on anything. Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? Yeah. Would you ever own a pet black widow spider? No. I'm getting more into the idea of owning invertebrates (I jabber enough about wanting tarantulas, and there are others, like mantises, I'm interested in as pets), but black widows, I'm not into the idea of having. Too venomous for me to be comfortable risking. If you have a job, what is the longest shift that you've worked? N/A Do you know all of the words to "Bohemian Rhapsody?" FUCK YES I DO. ^ Do you sing it with all of the different voices? sho nuff Do you own more than one copy of a certain book? No. Do you like interpreting poetry or just reading it for fun? Both. I love symbolism, so I get joy out of digging for subtle meanings in poems. Do you have a favorite Dr. Suess book? Yeah, it was always Green Eggs and Ham. Do you watch The Walking Dead? If so, favorite character? Not the show, but I've watched let's plays of the games, haha. In which case Clementine is inarguably one of the best female characters in a video game universe. Who has/had the most mature romantic relationship you’ve seen with your own eyes? Uhhh. I mean I never saw them much, but probably my late grandmother and her last husband. He was fucking incredible to her, and Grammy adored him as well. They helped each other so much and just obviously had the purest love between them. When was the last time you got something for free (legally)? What was it & have you enjoyed it so far? Lmao do balls in Pokemon GO count? Their occasional free boxes are the reason I can play the game because PokeStops are essentially non-existent here, so yes. What is the one fruit you can’t stand to eat? How about vegetable? The first one that came to me were oranges. I enjoy orange juice, but I just caaaaannot with the white veiny shit that you can't totally get off when peeling it. Without that, I might actually enjoy them, but idk. As for vegetable, asparagus is absolutely abhorrent. When’s the last time you actually recited the pledge? If you aren’t American, do/did you have anything similar in your country that you do during a time at school? Probably not since high school. Last person you shared food with? Ummm I have no idea. It's really just Mom and me here and we eat our own stuff. What was the last song you heard for the first time and enjoyed? I believe it waaas... "Down In The Park" by Marilyn Manson, maybe. If your life was a TV show, what would be the theme song? My inner high school emo just screamed "All Signs Point to Lauderdale" by AD2R. Who are some of your favorite female fictional characters, and why? Gahdamn, there's a lot. I don't feel like going through a mental list in my head and then describing why. A character (in anything) you wish hadn’t been killed off? Vol'jin; I think the entire WoW fanbase will forever be pissed about it. It was THE most "lul we dunno what 2 do w/ him anymore, let's let a totally random, unnamed, unimportant demon kill him" like what the fuck, Blizz. Most of his "oomph" was in the book, and I just really wish they'd done so much more with him in the game. Has anything “cute” happened in the past week? Off the top of me noggin, no. When did you last say “I love you”? Did you mean it? Yesterday to Sara. OF course I did. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times? Hi, PTSD, how are ya. Have you ever slept all day? Essentially. When I was on a larger dose of my anxiety med, I physically couldn't stay up for barely even five minutes, and when I'd lie back down, boom, I was OUT. I stayed on that dosage for I think just that one day, it was so bad. Can you have kids? Well, I have a functioning menstrual cycle, so I would assume so. Doesn't mean I will, though. What colors of mascara have you worn on your lashes? Only black. Do you like eating sour things? Hell yeah, I love sour stuff, candy in particular. Do you like pickles? fuuuuck yeah Did you ever have a really close friend move away? Yeah, in elementary school. I feel bad I can't remember her name at the moment... What's the most creative thing you've ever done? I mean, I guess the things I've written in RP. What's the most creative thing someone has done for you? For me? I don't really know. Do you like to watch ghost-hunting shows? Sure, they're some of my favorites. What’s something you’d like to be better at? Social interaction. Have you ever stayed up to talk to someone who was sad? Yeah. Do you think you would make a good parent? No. I know I wouldn't. The only time I ever wanted kids was with Jason, and honestly, I really hope I don't end up with a man because I never want to deal with that urge again and make a mistake. I'm just in no way emotionally fit to be a mother. How many best friends do you have? Just one. What do you cry over the most? My PTSD, honestly. I never sob about it anymore, just shed some tears. What language did/do you take in high school? Latin for one semester, then all four available for German. Which sports do you follow? None. Who was the last person you talked about marriage or having kids with? About marriage, Sara. Kids, the subject was lightly touched upon with Girt, though "with" was never a part of it, but obviously implied seeing as we were dating with long-term in mind. Have you ever been in a house fire? No, thankfully. Have you ever made out for one straight hour? them is rookie numbers Are you any good at remembering phone numbers? No. I literally don't even know my own, nor my mother's. I need to fix that. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex? Girt. Do you have a bookshelf? If so, just one or how many? No. If I gave you twenty bucks what would you do with it? Save it to go towards Venus' terrarium. Is there a movie from your childhood that you still watch today? Well of course! I'm unashamed to watch any "kids" movie I enjoy, like Disney ones. Most "kids" movies tend to be better than those intended for adults, it seems... Are you afraid of mice? Oh no, I adore mice and I think had a pair as pets before I got rats. What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? I can't really answer this; I haven't gone on nearly enough vacations to develop a theme. I can say confidently though it'd probably be something small. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? I don't enjoy musicals. Have you ever watched Doctor Who? One or two with Sara, yes. I know we at least watched the weeping angels episode. If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? Warriors by S.E. Hinton. Sometimes I wanna get back into them, but I am YEARS behind and more into Wings of Fire anyway, so. I don't read nearly enough for both. How do you get rid of your hiccups? Literally no trick seems to work for me. I just suffer lmao.