#* if it makes you feel better

[profoundmakerdreamerss-blog]

Tomarry AU

Where Tom wakes up in a world as a canon fodder, no named villain who is fated to die a horrible death in the hands of the hero. He is that one villain that is just destined to die and oh boy, does he hate it.

And so, like the logical man he is; he decides to kill the hero. Or to be more precise, he tries to. But, he is stopped. No, no not by the hero. The hero is weak, still. He hasn't gone through his “character development arc” which happens after the hero's best friend dies. And you see, that is the problem. The problem is the hero's best friend. Everytime, every single time, when Tom is sure that he will be successful, that damn Harry Potter has to come running.

Poison? Harry is the one who gets poisoned because he decides to eat what was meant for the hero. Assassination? Harry pushes the hero away. A burning tower? Harry jumps in and saves the guy.

And Tom hated that guy. The guy who literally wasn't given a personality in the book. The guy who's personality was basically "sacrificed himself for the hero". The guy who looks at Tom like he knows what he is doing. The guy, Harry Potter was infuriating.

But does it stop Tom from killing the main character? No. Cue to him making the most convoluted plan there is to get the hero to die. And the plan? Get Harry kidnapped. And lure the hero into a place where he could finally get him to die.

Alas, as always — it doesn't work. And just like always, Harry Potter finds a way to destroy his plans. Again.

Because,

“I know what you are, Riddle.” Harry, with blood dripping down his chin and green eyes glowing (always glowing), says as he stares at him from the place Tom had him tied.

[shittyutmv]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

what do you mean my skeleton is white😭😭😭😔😔😔 my day is ruined

we can check if you want

[spicy-zon3]

grrrrrrrrrr you added another hour to the tally grrr

one: don’t blame me, i was just reblogging from one of my girlfriends

two: :3

[dalimoor]

It's got nothing on Van Ziek's whole-ass leg on the desk, but I've gotta admit this made me laugh out loud when I saw it.

Yes, I know. I laughed during the part Apollo found out that *HUGE SPOILERS*. I'm going straight to hell!

[green-mountain-goose]

Yeah I'm 41

ooh i guessed right

[czhybrid]

I'm sorry, did the reformed villain just make a self aware joke acknowledging their days of villainy in a mundane manner?

[minerspirit]

[randomalistic]

Selfshippers who ship with weird/unappealing characters. I love you. Like hell yeah you go get with Mr Crocker. Go get with lord faarquad

[junglejim4322]

do you think a 5'4 and 6'2 height difference is predatory?

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[hinamie]

mentor

[captainjonnitkessler]

You know I used to think "tumblr's absolute refusal to actually engage with the Trolley Problem in favor of insisting that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is just a short-sighted idiot is really fucking annoying, but I guess it's not actually doing any harm".

Anyway that was before we asked tumblr at large to decide between "guy aiding a genocide but making progress elsewhere" and "guy who would actively and enthusiastically participate in a genocide and would also make everything else much, much worse for everyone elsewhere" and the response was that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and that anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is a short-sighted idiot.

[hansoeii]

[captain-mozzarella]

I headcanon that all of Yoda's finest teacups were made by younglings

In fact most masters of the order's finest teacups were made during crèche crafting time when the kids were learning pottery.

[akanemnon]

Yeah, Kris is definitely NOT alright.

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MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)

[cozylittleartblog]

@staff if you [change] the [design] of the fucking [dashboard] i will kill you

edit. i want it on the actual post that i am not actually making a de-th threat against the staff. that's shitty. the caption quotes the fucking costco hot dog meme, which i originally said in the tags. if any staff member sees this please do Not take it personally

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Soup solves everything.