#i am mostly excited to be writing his internal thoughts

[usurpernt]

so, i've been playing around with concepts and how i particularly want to write zant. we know that my son is quite unhinged. a lot of the time he remains rather cold, quiet, and as if he is of good composure but that's on the exterior. OF COURSE, we all know that's a lie. so roleplay scenarios will certainly vary on whether you're going to get a more " serious " zant, or his actual, truly insane unhinged self! getting him angry is certainly ONE way to have him show his true colours, or honestly any form of provoking / confronting him in a manner that may threaten his goals. because my god does he hate not getting what he wants, he hates losing. hates the mere idea of it. wolf and i were discussing and she's right on the fact that the moment zant gets any shred of control he will use it until he can no longer. he's scary in that he's extremely unpredictable in any scenario and how he'll proceed to react to it. he plays the role of coherent and composed well, and i primarily feel he uses his helmet to hide the truth / reality of his insanity. eventually i'm going to make my huge post on how ganon's influence has been nothing but horrible for zant's sanity ( which was on a steady decline prior to their meeting. ) and is responsible for making him so much worse.

[madamechrissy]

♡ Time after Time ♡

♡ ♡ Pairings ♡ ♡ CEO! Satoru Gojo x Fem Reader

♡ ♡ Warnings ♡ ♡ MDNI- Just sexual tension in this chap hehe, more explicit as we go. Gojo is really a dick at first FYI

♡ ♡ Word Count ♡ ♡ 4.2k

♡ ♡ Summary ♡ ♡ Satoru Gojo is your boss And you've been his head assistant for over two years now. You do everything for him, including and not limited to cleaning his messes, picking out his clothes, and writing his speeches. Sixteen hour days... night calls... You are tired of being overworked and at his beck and call. You decide you are going to put in your two weeks notice. He is shocked, and wants to try to keep you, because you're the best. But you know better. Right? . You really wanna fucking quit. You also wanna fuck him. Also, fuck him.

A/N (Kinda has 'two weeks notice' vibes a bit! No use of y/n.) Fully finished. This was my first gojo fic so maybe a Lil less put together than my current ones

Masterlist-

Chapter 1

You looked up at him from your desk. You were tired, so damn tired. You needed a fucking break, a long one. Your mind wanders to that vacation away from Tokyo that will never happen, not because you don’t have vacation days or money. Nope, it was  because you work far too fucking much, twelve to sixteen hour days sometimes. For him, your damn boss, Satoru Gojo.

Always asking you to stay late, always running his errands, saving his ass, covering for him. Writing speeches, making presentations, finding him dates even. When Gojo wanted something, he got it, and it didn't matter if it ruined every plan you ever had, you had to get it done for him.

He ran casinos, owned a hotel, a nightclub, you name it, Satoru Gojo owned it. He’d inherited some from his family but mostly he was self made. Even the tower you worked in, Kamo Tower, was one of the best in the city. Everything Gojo touched seemed to turn to gold, or better yet platinum.

You had been so excited two years ago to be his intern, then ecstatic when you quickly moved up the ranks to be his head assistant. You made good money, enough to send home to your family and take care of them too. But you literally were constantly at that man's beck and call.

Your tired eyes lower as you rest your chin on your hand for a moment, for even last night at two am you'd had to run to his fucking rescue.

You were asleep, but the phone never stops fucking buzzing.

Dick boss: I need you.

You: no.

Dick boss: triple OT pay?

You: fuck. What is it?

Dick Boss: I'm in a bit of a bind…

The bind? Three passed out naked women in his bed, and a room destroyed, that he needed to get fixed so he could sleep. Yeah.

The night before? Well he had urgently needed you to pick out his outfit for his soiree, he was too coked out to pick apparently. And Gojo Satoru had so many three piece suits, ties and shoes, it was actually disgusting.

Nanami Kento walks up to you, overworked from his own boss in the building, a trait you two share as head assistants. He hands you a cup of coffee in a styrofoam cup, with your name written on it in sharpie, clearly from one of the coffee shops nearby. If you had time to have a fucking life you would have flirted with him, for sure. Maybe he would have, too?

Dirty blonde and handsome, his suit stretched across his muscles just so… and fuck if he didn’t look like he needed a damn vacation too.

“Long night?” Kento asked, grabbing you out of your thoughts, an amused and tired expression on his face. You sigh, nodding.

“Thank you for the coffee. I owe ya one.” You let the sweet liquid hit your lips, eyes peering to Gojo's office. There was some lady in there, pretty as fuck in some crazy attempt at business stripper, but he for some reason was scowling at you. What, you dared to sip coffee and not work for two minutes?

“Not at all. Happy birthday.” 

“Shit that’s today?” You teased, but you did know.

“We don’t really get birthdays.”

“Haha no we don’t. But thank you!”

“Of course. Take care of yourself okay? Gojo is… ugh.” Nanami looked disgusted as he shook his head, pushing up his fancy glasses. You couldn’t help but giggle at that as Nanami walked off.

Your phone rings, because of course Gojo can't just come to you, you must go to him. Your eyes roll.

“Yes, Sir?” You answer the phone, tapping your glittery manicured nails on your desk, the one treat you gave yourself.

“My office.” That silken command may have excited most women, shit, most human beings, but it was a source of annoyance for you.

“Coming.”

You sighed, hanging up the phone and sipping your coffee. The office coffee usually went cold daily with the amount of shit you had to do. You smooth down your dress, adjusting the buckle of your belt just a tad before walking towards the giant glass office.

Gojo’s office had floor to ceiling windows surrounding it that had a ridiculous view of the cityscape below. You all were on the top floor of Kamo Tower, after all. The air was filled with a faint scent, woodsy and fresh, a signature fragrance that lingered in the space, distinctive to Gojo.

As you enter, you see Gojo himself reclining casually in a lavish chair, his signature Gucci sunglasses on, covering those ridiculous blue eyes. Which you honestly appreciated because he made shit hard to focus, even after two years of working as his assistant.

“Sir?” You stand there cautiously, thinking of just putting in your notice then and fucking there, like that dream you had in your two hours of sleep.

“Status update on my meetings?”

“I sent you them all.” He smirked, arrogant. You grit your teeth. “You have two meetings today, Sir, one for the new hotel partnership, then you have a meeting with Mr. Suguru about your casino. And of course, you have your event tonight.”

“Speaking of that, I need you to come with me tonight for the charity ball.” You sigh, shutting the door behind you, resting your aching head against it.

“I asked for tonight off.” You murmur, and Gojo scoffs, grinning, damn fangs like some vampire glinting from the sun that beamed in. He stands, stretching his long elegant limbs, before he walks closer to you, making the scent of him waft through your senses.

“I'll pay you well. Plus you’ll be going as my date for the event, not going to make you actually work. You'll get to relax and shit. Drinks and food.”

“As your date?” You blink, pursing your lips.

“I know, it’s kinda a dream scenario.” He laughed at his own joke, a habit he certainly had.

“Since when does CEO Satoru need a date? Especially me . I can just arrange you a date like I always do.”

“It's a delicate partnership and I need someone who is smart. Not eye candy. I need you, law school girl. Plus you’re American, and a lot of the people there are too. So it’s a no brainer.” You sighed, the comment about eye candy biting.

Men hit on you pretty frequently, any time you weren’t working, which you could not say was very often. But of course Gojo banged models on the regular, and you had no time to look like a model, you barely had time to slap on some mascara and concealer every day to hide how tired you were.

“So you don't need anyone pretty… is what you're saying.”

He pauses then, frowning at you. “You're very pretty.” He'd never said that. He'd barely complimented your work. You catch your breath; looking up at him, curious how he had gotten just an inch away.

“‘Not eye candy.���”

“We'll no, you dress kinda boring… like business and shit. Not sexy at all. I mean I’ve never seen you not in a business dress unless it’s at night and I call you, then you wear pajama shorts and shit?”

You snort. “I would dress up if I had a life. All I do is work.”

“Exactly, that’s what I mean by not ‘eye candy’. How you dress, not your looks. But I'll make sure your outfit looks killer, no need to thank me.” Gojo winks at you, lowering his shades, those insane cerulean eyes making you overheat against your will. Big and glittering with silver, the irises the prettiest blue that the earth could scarcely recreate. Eyes that made anyone do anything he wanted.

You were almost immune to that by now.

“It's my fucking birthday and you want me to do overtime?” You demand, and frowns with those full lips.

“Birthday?” Gojo looks confused, as if you should not have one of them, for it’s inconvenient.

“Yeah. Twenty-sixth.”

He evaluates you. “Why did I think you were like twenty two?”

“I’m not sure. If I was I wouldn’t even have my law degree yet, baby face maybe. But it’s my third birthday here, and you never give me the day off. I will absolutely not put in OT.”

“What, you have plans, hot shot?” Gojo chuckles, his tone mocking.

No. Sure don't. “Yep.” You lie. He knows.

“Cancel em.” He shakes a hand dismissively and you scowl.

“No.” You cross your arms under your breasts, and his gaze darts down for the briefest of moments.

“No?” No one turned Gojo down. No one ever told the gorgeous CEO no. His six foot four frame hunched as he placed an arm on one side of you, peering down, frown still on his handsome features. You bravely glare back up at him.

“No. Gojo, I'm really exhausted, and I just want to have fun and actually relax for my birthday.”

“Have fun with me. And make killer money. Win win.”

“That's work. Not fun.”

“Hmm.” He tilts your chin up with his long fingers, making you peer up at him, surprised at the contact. “I'll make it fun. Promise. Then I'll give you the day off tomorrow. Deal?”

“I could find you a smart American girl? Eye candy too.”

“You're my best, though, I need you.”

Bastard.

“Ugh. Fine.”

He grins, and you catch a breath as he backs away. “Good. I'll have the outfit brought to your apartment later? I’m assuming you don’t have anything fancy enough for this one.”

“Probably not. Fine. Need my size?”

His eyes are drinking you in as he smirks. “You think I haven’t gathered your size by now?” Your cheeks overheat. Though you’re used to him, at the end of the day you still had a damn vagina, and it reacted to him. He chuckled deeply, turning away and waving a hand. “You're dismissed.”

Just like that, your birthday night was just work. Work for Gojo.

***

“Can’t wait to put in my two weeks ugh.” You grumble to yourself as you finish up your makeup, for once having fun with it. If you had to work your birthday you would absolutely look gorgeous for it. Lashes, winged liner, red lips.

The dress he had ordered laid in a satin box on your white day bed. You sigh, opening it finally, and you blink rapidly as you look at the gown encased in baby blue and white tissue paper, the colors of Gojo himself. You gently pulled out the gown and most of your irritation died off.

Black and decked with sequins, it glittered in the light, it was a velvety fabric, as soft as a caress. As you slid it on it glided over your curves, accentuating the nip at your waist, the arch of your hips. The neckline plunged ridiculously low, revealing a generous amount of cleavage that you typically kept under wraps at work. You wonder how Gojo knew you had just so much up top…

Pervert is what he was.

Pervert with killer taste.

The dress had a slit that went dangerously up one of your well toned thighs, exposing nearly all of one leg, while the rest of the dress hit the floor. It was if he truly knew every measurement you had, for the dress could not have hit any better. Those damn analyzing eyes of his…

You spun to look at the back of the dress, which dipped daringly as well, exposing an expanse of skin, from shoulder blades down to the dimples on your lower back. You rummage through your little cherry wood jewelry box, eyeing to see what would work with the dress. Luckily, everything went well with black, so you snatched up a pretty silver cross necklace and earrings.

A text pops up, and you read it.

Dick Boss: Waiting out front in the car.

You: Just a few.

You slip on your shoes and spritz some body spray on, your favorite from Victoria’s Secret you save for special things, then slide on a pair of black heeled boots, contemplating putting on underwear. Did it matter what kind? It wasn’t like you’d had any dick since like college at this point. And you definitely weren’t fucking Gojo, since neither of you were interested.

You because you saw the girls he fucked. Him because… you weren’t ‘arm candy’. Or a dumb ass bimbo. Sometimes you wished you were, since they seemed sweet and happy in life, while you drowned.

Dick Boss: I’m waiting…”

Fucking Gojo. Ugh. You decide to slide on some lacy boy shorts, just in case that slit did go too high you’d have some coverage. Peeking one last time at the mirror, you had to admit you looked beautiful. You text Gojo.

You: Coming now.

You locked up and headed down the stairs of the apartment building, and there was Kiyotaka, Gojo’s driver, opening the door of the black limo for you. Kiyotaka, who somehow was your age now. That boggled your mind more than Nanami. Gojo wore people out, very clearly, but even you had it easier than Kiyotaka.

“My lady.” He said sweetly, and you smiled at him, sliding in, and there Gojo was across from you, long arms spread across the backs of the seat, his head rested back so that his throat was exposed. His head snapped down, and he looked right at you, no sunglasses, only those eyes. His lips parted, and you tensed, prepared for some lewd comment or rude one.

He blinked those white spiky lashes, arms sliding down as Kiyotaka shut the door, gaze taking you in ever so slowly, as if he had all the time in the world. You felt yourself holding your breath as it lazily traveled down and back up your body, clutching your little black evening bag tightly.

“You look…” He trailed off, shaking his head a bit.

“Thank you for the dress.” You cut him off. He exhaled, nodding.

“Of course. Consider it my birthday gift. You look… really fucking hot.”

You giggled at that. Not beautiful or breathtaking. But you’d take it. “Thank you, the dress is so beautiful.”

“Your body is that banging and you hide it like that?” He was somehow right next to you now, and you shiver a bit at the nearness. “I should reprimand you.”

You roll your eyes. “I can’t dress like this at work.”

“You sure the fuck can. I’m the boss, I say so.” His fingertips trailed down your shoulder, and it sent tingles through your body. Why was he so close? “I’m buying you a new wardrobe.”

“The fuck you are. I like to be professional, unlike you.” You smack his hand off errantly, and your bare shoulder grew cold without the touch.

“You do really look good.” You took in his outfit, a black tux, which fit his slim muscles perfectly. It was some shit Bruce Wayne would wear. Maybe Gojo was some super hero or villain. It would fit.

“You do too. You always do.”

“I know.” He winked at you, leaning forward to snatch up champagne and pop it, pouring you both glasses. You took one, letting the bubbles tickle your nose, taking a sip of the sweet drink, moaning softly and shutting your eyes.

“Delicious.” You lick your lower lip and find him a breath away. You don’t move, but you’re frozen, confused as he looks at you like he never has. “Satoru?”

“Are you really thinking of quitting?” He asked softly. You have never seen Gojo like this.

“How did you know?”

“I know everything, baby girl.” He gently runs his long fingers through your hair, a rare frown on his lips.

“Baby girl? The fuck, Satoru. Yes I was thinking of it, an seducing me is not going to change my mind. Is that the point of this?” You demand, irritated, and against your better judgement, fucking horny. His eyes study your own seriously.

“If that was my intention, you’d damn sure know.” Each word was bit out, distinctive, and his hand tightened in your hair, far too strong, yanking your head back. You scowl up at him, your hands clenched into fists.

“Oh, would I?” You challenged him, notching your chin up a bit. He laughed but it was without humor.

“How many women have you heard me fuck in my office? How many have you had to send home? You think I don’t know how to fuck the shit out of you if I wanted to. You wouldn’t even be able to walk.”

Gojo’s whisper was against your lips, and you could taste whiskey on his breath, mixed with his mints he constantly sucked on. He wasn’t touching you, but he was so close you could feel him…

“I won’t fuck you though, so what’s the point of even joking about it. You don’t want me anyway. Not your type.” He snorted, and one of his big hands came to your waist, touching the bare skin of your back and wreaking havoc on every sense you’ve ever had.

“You know my type?” You nod. His thumb brushed under your breast, an action that made the peaks of your breasts tighten, aching against the sequined gown. Damn if his gaze didn’t drop down. You cursed yourself. “The women who entertain me aren’t necessarily my type.”

“Hmm.” It grew difficult to focus. You sip your champagne, leaning back a bit, but Gojo’s grip stays. “It doesn’t matter. You’re talking out of your ass. Too much cocaine tonight?”

His grip tightened, and it made you gasp, looking up at his darkened eyes in the dim light of the limo. “I haven’t had any. I’m just pretty fucking irritated my best assistant wants to leave. You’re ungrateful.”

“Ungrateful!” You snort at that, tossing back the champagne and grabbing at his hand, his wrist, trying to get him off of you. “How the fuck, Satoru? I literally do everything for you!”

“And I pay you damn good!”

“I know. I’d rather be broke somewhere than do sixteen hour days. It’s my damn birthday and here I am!”

“As if you really had plans. You have no friends and no life.”

“Bullshit.” You grit your teeth, shoving at his hard chest. “That’s because I have no damn time! You think I wouldn’t have a boyfriend or something by now?”

“Maybe that’s your problem, why you’re so bitchy and stuck up all the damn time. You need to get fucked good.”

You slapped him then. Slapped your Boss. Slapped Satoru Gojo.

His hand caught your wrist, brutally squeezing, pale cheek just hinted with pink from your mark.

“Ring a little true?”

“I can get fucked if I want.” You yank your hand back.

“I didn’t say that. Clearly you can get fucked. It’s just you don’t even want to and you blame it on my hours, as if you were the type.”

“I’d fuck Nanami Kento if I had any damn time.” Gojo’s eyes widened at that, and his grip on your waist became brutal. “Yep. Sure would. He’s built as fuck, oh and he remembered my birthday. If either of us had time I sure would. So does that answer it for you?”

Gojo bared his teeth at her, a little blue vein in his temple popping out. Your heart beats in your chest, brutally, the thudding loud in your ears. “You… would fuck… Nanami… Kento?”

Each of his words were forced through his teeth.

Ah, you made him mad.

Good.

“Who wouldn’t? He’s hot.” You try to shrug casually.

“Out of anyone in the office?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Including me.”

You open your mouth to say yes, but you know it’s not fucking true. Of course you’d have fucked Gojo, if he wasn’t a dick boss, if he was just a dude…

Look at him.

“Cat got your tongue?” His free hand caught your chin, forcing your gaze to his piercing one. You gulp, licking your lips.

“No.”

“No, what?” His voice was a wicked caress.

“No… not including you. Goddammit. Is that what you want to hear? That I’m not blind? Of course you’re attractive, and you know it, stupid!”

He scoffed. “You’re childish.”

“You!” You shoved at him again, and he let you go, grabbing your glass and refilling it, watching you like a hawk. “It changes nothing. I am planning to leave. I will find a replacement, someone even better than me.”

“There is no one better.” He sounded sincere, a rare thing for Gojo, emotion cracking in his voice as he downed his own glass.

“You think fucking me will keep me as your damn assistant?”

“It’s worth a shot. I’m the best fuck there is.” He shrugged, some of that casual demeanor coming back, and you wanted to yell at your body for its reaction.

“It won’t happen.”

“Yeah? Why?”

“You’re my boss!”

“But you’re leaving.”

“I…”

“Hmm? You seem at a loss for words.” You scowl, looking out the window as the lights flickered by.

“Are we there yet?”

“Childish.”

“Says you!”

“You need a good orgasm. Or ten. Get you to be less of a stuck up nag.”

“I do not! And I am not!”

“You do, and you are.”

“I orgasm plenty, thanks!” You felt your body on fire at that, and Gojo couldn’t look more satisfied, like the Cheshire fucking cat, the grin as wide as it could go, running his hand through his silken white locks.

“Oh, do tell.” He practically purred.

“Cut the shit, Satoru. You’ve never talked like this in the years I’ve worked with you, where the fuck do you get off?”

“I get off in women. Or on them.” He shrugged, enjoying your open mouth, once again lost for words.

“You know I did not mean that!”

“Where do you get off? On a dildo maybe.” You blinked, eyebrows low in a scowl, wanting to hit him again. “No, don’t look the type. Maybe a rose toy. Hmm… or just these little things.” Gojo lifted your hand, already small but ridiculously small in his own, swallowed by him. “They don’t hit deep enough, do they?” His whisper shook you to your core.

You burned, breathless, as he held out his own hand to yours, fingers so fucking long they rivaled the length of a dude’s dick. Likely larger than the couple of dude’s in college, which was about all of your experience. He grinned as you stared on, palm hot and hard against your own.

“I… you…” You wanted to cuss him out. Quit right then.

You also wanted his fingers in you.

“I could get you off, put you in a good mood. We don’t have to have sex for that.” His hand took your own, putting your hand by your heat, between your thighs.

“Why… are you…act- acting like this?” You managed to breathe out, but you had no energy to move away from him, or shove his hand off. Because if you were being honest with yourself, you’d love to ride your frustration out on him.

“Maybe I realize how much I need you to stay as my assistant.” Gojo’s supple lips kiss down your jaw, firm but delicate, as his hand brutally grabs yours and shoves it against yourself, moaning in your ear. “Is my assistant already hot for me? Are you that easy to get wet?”

“Fuck off.”

It’s a whisper. You want it. And you hate him. You hate that your pussy is pulsing against your joined fingers through the barrier of your panties, that the moan in your ear made you wonder what he sounded like when he came. Gojo slid his own finger against your panties, pausing, moaning again, pulling back to look at you.

He was gorgeous.

Your chest rose and fell with your breath.

“Fuck.” He whispered, and something was just different. You saw Gojo with women, always so self assured. But something seemed surprised, vulnerable, when his long finger pressed against the damp sticky fabric, just grazing your clit. You arched your hips up, and his fingertip ran up slightly, pressing more, and Gojo’s lips were just a breath away…

“We’re here, Sir, my Lady.”

Fuck.

You two shot apart, and you struggled to catch your breath, adjusting your dress, gulping down one more glass for good measure. Gojo adjusted his pants, not even looking at you, clearing his throat. You cursed as you saw his tie.

“You can’t tie a tie for shit, Satoru.” You leaned over to him, pulling it apart gently and re-tying it. You noticed his Adam's apple bob up and down. He was quiet. Satoru Gojo, quiet. “There.”

“Thanks.” He said gruffly, and your eyes met.

What the fuck just happened?

Kiyotaka opened the door, exposing them to some cool night air, and you got out, curious just how the fuck this birthday night was going to go.

Chapter 2

Completed fic on ao3, will post chaps on here as well

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55424137/chapters/140629990

[deanbrainrotwritings]

— MASTER OF PUPPETS

SUMMARY : jensen starts to tease early in the day and is very sure she will give in before he does.

PAIRING : jensen ackles x fem!reader

CHARACTERS : none

WARNINGS/TAGS : nsfw (18+), teasing, fingering, oral sex (f. receiving), fluff

WORD COUNT : 2.7k

A/N : song from a metallica song. i understand why writers hate/struggle with writing summaries, like wtf am I gonna write? and then it sounds cringe, but fuck it, it’s exactly like that Xx

Y/N was sure Jensen was teasing her.

It started in the morning, when he’d woken up, clearly in a mood. His adorable messy hair didn’t stop him from looking sexier than any man in all existence. Under the sheets, he’d stripped into his boxers, pouting and whining cutely that it was hot, then he held her until her morning grumpiness passed.

He kissed her cheekbones, gave her heated kisses and squeezed the fleshiest parts of her body until she was a puddle of love and completely relaxed in the bed. She knew what he was doing when he rubbed himself against her but refused to let himself or her cum, stopping when either of them got too close in exchange for a few hot kisses.

Later, he stepped out of the bathroom after having showered with the towel wrapped low on his hips. He had his lips puckered, dimples forming at the corner of his lips, his eyes had a playful glint in them, and he avoided her gaze as best as he could while he looked around for his clothes.

He looked gorgeous and he knew it. Not just from years of objectification, but from the simple fact that he knew. He was mostly humble about it everywhere else, except at home. At home, he used it to get what he wanted, he used it for fun, and right now, it seemed that’s what he wanted, to have fun.

He’d dried himself mostly, the long locks of his hair were darker from the shower and he’d clearly ran his fingers through it carelessly, but looked so damn fine. A few droplets from his hair fell onto his flushed, freckled skin, and slipped down the slopes of his beautiful body.

She stared at him from across the room while finishing up a few last things in her appearance. She’d slowed down, chewed on her lip thoughtfully and tried to ignore the instant throb between her legs from just looking at him. It was embarrassing, so she tried to focus on herself again, just like he was pretending to do, his marvellous body becoming taut with each move he made.

Once he picked out his clothes, he laid it out on the bed, thought for a second or two before removing the towel from his waist. She glanced up, her brows rising slightly, and he did the same. He looked up at her, internally smug about getting her attention. He casually slipped his boxers on, both of them remained quiet, continuing to change in comfortable silence.

It wasn’t very comfortable, in truth. Not after that. The room became electrified, thick, and hot with sexual tension. But neither of them addressed it for different reasons. His reason, he was gonna wait to see how long she’d last. Her reason, she wanted him to give in first.

It was hard, she wasn’t going to lie.

He’d held her waist, pulled her body close to his while his other hand held the back of her neck, just to pull her in for a sweet kiss. It wasn’t meant to be sweet and they both knew it. He’d gently brushed his lips against hers, the slight touch sent tingles over the surface of her lips before he finally pressed against her. His soft lips moved just slightly and he tilted her head slightly to deepen the kiss, and then pulled away slowly, his green eyes sparkling with excitement.

A little smirk tugged at his lips, but he played it off with an adorable grin that seemed innocent, had he not slapped her ass before leading her out of the bedroom. And they went to do random things, from shopping for food to shopping for other necessities, including just things they wanted for themselves.

He was possessive, protective of her the whole time.

When she decided to wear the short dress, as classy as it looked on her body, it was hard not to ruin the fun he wanted to have teasing her. Especially with those platform boots that made her tall enough to have easier access to his lips. She looked fuckable, the dress riding up slightly over her ass when she walked, and he’d step behind her to pull it back down.

If she was gonna be naughty, so was he.

He’d give her ass a squeeze after each time when no one was looking. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, gave her an innocent kiss on the cheek. But she turned her face to the side, searched for his lips, so he kissed her, not expecting the way she made out with him in the parking lot. Her fingers carding through his hair, pulling gently and sliding her tongue past his lips with her head resting on his shoulder from the position.

He was breathless when she pulled away, dazed from the sun kissing his eyelids for far too long or maybe from the intensity of her kiss. Whichever it was, it was a good kiss, and he watched her slip into the passenger side, waiting for him to get inside too. On the drive back home, he put his hand on her thigh, high up on her soft leg, his pinkie practically brushing against her panty-covered pussy.

She squeezed her legs together, stopping him from continuing to tease her, but not fast enough. He could feel how ruined her underwear were, the dampness that coated his fingers when he twisted his hand to cup her pussy. The music playing in the car masked his gasp, but he knew she heard him anyway from the blush that started to grow on her face.

He shifted in his seat, felt his jeans tighten around the crotch area. When he removed his hand from between her legs, it was for his own good. He focused on driving them home safely, thinking of anything but the fact that she was aroused. It was hard to not stop the car, because she squirmed in her seat, rubbing her thighs together every now and then.

When they got home, he helped her make lunch… with difficulty. He couldn’t really focus with the way she bit her lip or her just standing there looking completely beautiful while waiting for the food to finish. He tried to slow his rapid heartbeat, sipped on some beer and watched her with hungry eyes.

He waited patiently for her to finish and the whole time they talked about what they wanted to do the rest of the day. All while ignoring the sexual tension and the way he just wanted to touch her and kiss her. As the food simmered, she started to wash the dishes and he helped her, looking at her lovingly as she spoke about something she read that she found fascinating.

When she turned the stove off, after finishing with the dishes, he pulled her away with his arms around her waist. He nuzzled the side of her neck with his nose, his lips kissing down her shoulder, his body immediately responding to her little gasps. His hands moved up her sides, cupping her breasts over the dress to squeeze them gently, teasingly.

“You drive me crazy,” he growled softly.

“You started it,” she replied softly. He laughed, moved his hands down under the dress to rub her clit over her soaked underwear.

“Yeah, I know,” he admitted, not even a little apologetic. “Fuck, you’re so wet,” he moaned. She clung to his arms, her knees weak and her chest heaving when he started to move his hand inside her underwear. His fingers gently brushing against her clit, another sound of pleasure leaving his plush lips when he circled her dripping entrance.

He slipped his hand out of her, turned her around and pressed her against the counter. She gasped, helped him slide her underwear down her legs until they were completely off. He grabbed the back of her knee, lifting it up and slanting her hips to see her pussy.

“Jensen,” she whined, grasping his arms tightly. He pushed her dress up to her hips, teasingly dragging his hand down her pelvis, a little smirk growing on his face when she started to wiggle her hips impatiently. “Please,” she whined, digging her nails into his arms.

He kissed her, distracting her momentarily with his soft lips on hers, needy and passionately moving with hers. His breath almost caught in his throat just knowing it’s her he’s kissing, heat rising to his cheeks, his heart skipping beats just pouring his love into her through the kiss. At the same time, he brought his fingers down to her clit, brushing his fingers up and down, feeling her press harder into the kiss.

He teased her entrance, circling around before slowly pressing the tips of his two fingers into her. She groaned and bit down on his bottom lip, sucking it gently. He squeezed her leg, pushing his fingers inside her all the way. It made her gasp and her teeth released his swollen lip, her head tipping back slightly when he started to pump his fingers into her.

He watched her, smug and horny, while biting his lip. He ignored his throbbing dick, ground his hips against her desperately despite how awkward the position was. His fingers and palm were soon soaked in her arousal, his lips parting when he looked down at his hand. The sound of his fingers squelching in and out of her made him feel like he’d cum untouched.

“Shit, honey,” he groaned, then started to lower himself until he was on his knees in front of her. She released his arms reluctantly and opened her hazy eyes to observe him and his next move. His warm breath made her slick feel cold in comparison and his tongue on her clit made her moan wantonly. He hummed softly, smiling up at her from between her legs, amused by her responsiveness. He let her thigh rest on his shoulder and started to finger-fuck her faster, sucking her clit so hard she stuttered out a moan and pulled at the long locks of his soft hair.

A thread of curses slipped past her plump lips along with his name, and he felt her walls squeeze his fingers, his spit and her arousal coating his hand. He moaned against her and brought his free hand to his jeans, undoing the belt impatiently, lowering the zipper and unbuttoning them to shove his hand into his boxers and jerk himself off uncomfortably.

“I’m… fuck,” she moaned, bending her knee a little higher on his shoulder and pushing his fingers against her cunt. He tightened his hand around his cock, sucking her clit urgently until she came on his fingers with a strangled moan tearing from her throat. He slowly tongued her clit until her walls stopped spasming, only pulling away from her pussy when she released his hair to hold onto the counter behind her instead.

“That was…” she whispered, lowering her leg from his shoulder. He stared up at her with adorable pouty lips, pulling his drenched fingers out of her and cupping her pussy to massage it comfortingly. He stood back up and leaned down to kiss her, both of them careless about his mouth being smeared with her slick.

She started to lower his jeans and his boxers past his thighs and he pulled away from the kiss, his forehead pressed against hers, but he was looking down and biting his lip again. “Still not enough, baby?” He chuckled, watching her wrap her fingers around his cock.

“Shut up, this was your next move anyway,” she narrowed her eyes up at him but had a playful smile on her lips. He moaned softly and nodded with a cheeky smile.

“Right, yeah. Just no more teasing, I can’t fucking take it, Y/N/N,” he whined, lifting her leg up again. He gave her a pathetic look, his green eyes wide and begging for her to guide his cock between her legs. She stared at him defiantly and licked her lips when she rubbed the leaking head of his cock against her clit. He moved closer, hiding his face in her neck to smell the sweet scent of her hair.

“You’re unbelievable,” she chuckled, giving him what he wanted. She shimmied her hips and let him slowly and easily sink his cock into her slick cunt. He lifted his face from her neck and kissed her again, felt her lift his shirt up his stomach and kept her hand on his chest. He pulled away from the kiss to curiously look between them, moaning at the sight of himself inside her.

“Fuck, you’re so hot, Y/N,” he grunted, looking down when he started to pull out and pushed back into her roughly. She tightened her hand around his shirt and wrapped her arm around his shoulder, staring up at him with her brows furrowed in pleasure and her lip pressed by her teeth.

He watched himself thrust in and out of her, going harder and faster when the curls around his pelvis area shone in her arousal. He let out a loud moan, tipped his head back with the most gorgeous expression of ecstasy, his hair falling back and following his movements. He was a sight to behold, with his red cheeks and pillowy, red lips. He alternated between biting down on his lip and then moaning loudly every now and then, all while she watched completely enraptured by the way he fell apart.

His hand under her thigh became sweaty and she started to heat up faster with the clothes she was wearing, but the way he rolled his hips against hers, rubbing against her clit felt so good she almost couldn’t feel it and didn’t care how sweaty they became. His thrusts became erratic and she brought her fingers to her clit, rubbing quick circles to bring herself to her release, closing her eyes for a few seconds, until she felt his panting breath blow across her flushed face.

“I’m gonna… fuck, fuck,” he grunted, her walls fluttering around his cock, squeezing tighter when she came again. She moved her hand to his waist, held on as he thrusted into her, helping her ride out her orgasm when his cock throbbed and twitched, filling her up with his cum. “Shit, baby, you’re so good,” he praised, his fingers digging painfully into her leg.

He continued to swear quietly, his hips finally becoming still. He kissed her forehead, brought his hand to her other leg and lifted her up so she could sit on the counter. She let his shirt fall down his stomach again, her hands clutching the back of his t-shirt, letting him drop kisses over her face and neck, smiling softly when she laughed shyly.

“Was that okay?” He asked, brushing her hair away from her face and behind her ear. He leaned down to peck her lips when she nodded.

“It was very good, Jay,” she mumbled against his lips, letting him drop kiss after kiss on her lips. Both of them smiled into the kisses, his hands holding her jaw gently. “Dinner’s cold,” she reminded him between kisses. He paused, looking to the side at the abandoned food, and pulled out of her.

“Wanna order some pizza instead, have some beer, and watch a movie?” He offered, looking at the mess between her legs shamelessly as he lifted his boxers and jeans. She bumped his chin with her closed hand, flustered, making him look back up at her. “What d'ya say?” He smiled, stepping away after kissing her cheek to grab some paper towels.

“Sounds good, handsome,” she accepted, watching him wet the towels before making his way to her. His smile got bigger and he started to clean her up, his inner demons telling him to pump his cum back into her.

“Then after the movie we can fuck again, and again, and again, until you pass out,” he teased, half-serious. She raised a brow at him, laughing at his words, she slapped his chest and dropped down from the counter to tug her dress back down. “That’s not a ‘no’,” he reminded her, his eyes glued to her when she bent down to grab her underwear from the floor.

“It isn’t, is it?” She agreed with a mischievous smile, making her way out of the kitchen. He cursed softly, threw the paper towel away and washed his hands quickly before going after her.

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Hi! Can you write a Morpheus x reader where they have a big family (like five kids, with one on the way) and have been married for like 12+ years with their oldest kid being born a year into their marriage and it’s just Morpheus being a dad and him and the reader being a family with their kids (oh! Like a scene where their kids interrupt him during his serious work wanting to hang out with their dad)

Papa! Papa!

Dream of the Endless x Reader

Summary: Just a normal average day in the Dreaming with 1 mom, 1 dad, 5 kids and 1 on the way [sips tea] [butterfly fluttering] [dumpster fire] [caveman music].

Word Count: 2k+

Warnings: fem!reader, wife!reader, mom!reader, mentions of pregnancy/pregnancy symptoms/pregnancy struggles, 💀children💀, soft dad!dream, my ideal husband!dream, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: I LOVE SOFT!DAD FICS (so much so i got carried away T_T) IM SO EXCITED I CAN FINALLY WRITE THIS. also, holyeaglefanlawyer since you made another req with a similar prompt, i might make that a p2 but lol it's at the very end of my req list so lskfha;sfsah so. also i had to think of 5 NAMES ASHFAHSF:LASFHAS: DEAD T_T i hope yall like em please names are so hard. i put so much thought into their names gosh ALSO ALSO i describe the features of the kids, but they all register this way mostly because of dream's mystical-ness ya feel, not so much because of yn ok? ok good night im dead now Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @deniixlovezelda @shadow-pancake9 @sloanexx

My eyes rip open at the ear breaking screech that rings through the whole of the Dreaming. I am certain my eyes are blood shot in exhaustion, and yet I power through. I huff as I place a hand on my round belly. I slowly maneuver up on the bed I laid for a nap.

Ah. Naps. Ironic I could not find slumber in the dwelling of the Dream Lord.

I suck in a breath as I internally debate which child busted their lung out in protest of goodness-knows-what this time.

I put on my fuzzy slippers when I get to the side of the bed. I push myself up and sigh as I get to my feet, slowly making my out of my bedroom, my final place of refuge.

Farewell peace, or whatever semblance of it I had.

The moment I exit, there are a chorus of screams, groans, and giggles.

I make it to the entrance of the throne room. Immediately, I see the scattered toys and hundreds of children sprawling the area. Literally. There were a hundred plus children sprawling the area, all copies of my son-

"Noor, please," I shake my head, placing my hand on the child's tiny shoulder, "we talked about materializing copies of yourself."

"Mama!" he says in excitement, dropping the toy horse in his hand, coming up to me, sealing his arms around my legs.

I smile down at him, my little Noor. I brush his golden hair back, bright like the stars, much like what his name meant, light.

"Gadiel and I are playing armies though," the fourth born pouts, pointing across the hall where about a same hundred copies of his older brother, Gadiel, was stationed. He turns to me, gripping me tightly, "I don't want to lose to him again. He- aw!" he cuts himself off, turning to his left, "Hey! THAT HURT!"

I watch as Gadiel and Noor begin to struggle against each other from across the hall, pulling at each other's clothes, smacking each other's face.

Well, I didn't know what I was expecting, but this looked about right.

"BOYS!" I call out sternly.

The copies of my sons all turn to me as my voice echos in the hall.

"Mumma?" a whisper sounds by my ears, undoubtedly my youngest making herself known to me, though she was nowhere near me, and was lost in the sea of her brothers.

All at once, Gadiel and Noor's copies begin to disappear until it is only the Noor by my thigh, pressing his face into me while tears fled his eyes, and Gadiel, a good few feet across the hall, who was quickly making his way over.

Now that the ocean of boys were gone, I spot in the corner, on a carpet, littered with stuffed toys, my daughter, Isra, who was already looking at me, grinning from ear to ear, "Mumma!"

I watch her stand on her tiny legs, her shiny, dark hair, bouncing with every step she took. Journey of the night, the little girl's name meant. I gasp at her journey towards me when she nearly falls.

Gadiel notices my reaction then turns to where I was looking, spotting his little sister. He stops in his tracks, making a u-turn for her, helping her come to me.

I let out a breath at the sight, "good boy."

Upon hearing the praise, Noor looks out at his younger and older siblings, brows furrowing, "mama, he hit me!"

I turn down to Noor, who pulls away from me to point accusingly at his brother again, "he hit me," he repeats then begins to point at his body, "here, here, here-"

"NOT AT THE SAME BODY!" Gadiel cries out, as he holds Isra's tiny hands up while she walks in front of him. "Mama!" he calls, "he hit me too!"

"Mumma!" Isra babbles breaking into a giggle.

I meet my little girl halfway, breathing in deeply before carrying her in my arms. I grunt at the weight of it all, but I push past the heaviness when my daughter giggles and grabs my face, affectionately nuzzling into me.

"Mama look!" Noor complains, pointing to his face, "I think I have a black eye!"

I raise my brows as I look at the boy's spotless face. Gadiel then follows suit, twisting his arm around, pointing arduously at his elbow, "LOOK! HE INJURED ME!"

"THAT'S YOUR BIRTHMARK!" Noor angrily growls.

"AND YOU RUINED IT!" Gadiel bites back.

I sigh, blinking slowly in exasperation. I am calmed when Isra begins to speak nothings to me in her high pitched voice, full of splendor. I swoon at her baby talk.

I smile and nod, "yes, my girl, Gadiel and Noor have been naughty."

The boys do not even hear me when I say this.

God is my fortune, that is what my third born's name means. I must remember that--I have to remember that. God is my fortune. God is my fortune. God is my fortune. God is m-

"Silence."

The two boys jolt in their spots upon hearing the echoing sound of the deep voice of their king.

The next moment, Irsa is taken from my arm. I turn to my right, finding a kiss placed upon my cheek, "my queen, I told you that-"

"PAPA! GADIEL HURT ME!" Noor shrieks, running up to his papa's legs.

"HE HURT ME TOO!" Gadiel runs towards the man he got his blue eyes from.

"Silence!" Dream calls, looking down at his sons, who were now swatting each other. It does not work the second time around.

I release a breath, intervening, "boys."

Still nothing.

"ENOUGH!" Dream says, pushing between the boys, looking down at both of them. Isra, blissfully unaware of it all, begins to aimlessly pat her father's face, just as he begins chastising the two, "it's bad enough you woke your mother-" he stops a moment when the toddler's finger finds its way into his mouth. Dream pulls her arm back, wiping her hand on his collar, "I will not have you show such disrespect by quarrelling before the both of us."

"But papa," the two say weakly in unison.

"No rebuttals," Dream calls, "now-" Isra cuts him off when her hands flails over to his eyes, poking them unintentionally.

Noor slaps a hand on his mouth. Gadiel's cheeks expand as he holds back his laughter.

"Papa," I call, "let me-"

"It's ok, mama," Dream turns to me, raising a hand as he readjusts the child in his arm. I watch as he turns to the boys, who were now hunched over closely to each other, muttering and giggling amongst themselves, surely making fun of their father over what their sister did to him.

"Now," Dream starts, "apologize to each other."

The two let out hushed chuckles as they separate. The seven-year-old presses his lips, "we already did," crossing his arms.

The five-year-old nods his head, struggling to cross his arms, but succeeding eventually.

"Well, I did not hear it," the ???-year-old says to his boys, shaking his head. The three-year-old in his arms rubs her cheek on his shoulder. I coo at the sight of it.

Noor and Gadiel turn to each other, muttering sorry once, turning back to papa after.

"Good enough," papa says, "very well then, begone," he shoos them with a hand.

The two perk up, now off the hook. Noor runs away first, giggling about playing in Fiddler's Green. Gadiel raises a hand, gesturing that Noor should wait. Gadiel turns to his papa, motioning to his jaw, "papa, you have drool on your chin," then runs away with his brother.

I inspect Dream's face, but the man wipes his chin of any evidence before I could spot it.

"I am uncertain if I enjoy how quickly they turn into friends and foes," Lord Morpheus orates as her daughter yawns and begins to nuzzle in the crook of his neck.

I rub her back then caress his cheek, "does it matter if you enjoy it? It's not like it would change the fact."

"I am Shaper of Forms, am I not?" he says, stepping closer, hand coming up to my side.

"Ahhh," I sound, "just like how you said you'd make the twins go to sleep, only to find your powers don't work on them."

Dream turns away, brows raising at the memory, "it's not that my power does not work, it's because their own power that-"

"PAPA, I DID IT!"

The two of us turn our sights to the lanky eleven-year-old boy, waving his hands victoriously as he stands on the throne.

Dream grumbles then points, "off."

The boy drops his hands, jumping off the throne. His twin sister's mocking chuckles are faint in the air.

Dream turns to me, muttering softly, "children."

I snort as my husband leads us to his desecrated chair. I take his free hand and lean into him, continuing his words, "you wanted."

He narrows his eyes , "I am offended by the lone notion."

I break into a laugh. I tilt my head and correct myself, "we wanted."

Dream grabs my hand, placing a kiss at the back of it. He then brushes his hand on my protruding belly amorously, "yes. Every single one."

"Papa!" our eldest calls, meeting us halfway as he excitedly jogs over, "I did it! I got us back here using my own sand!"

"I helped him though!" our second-born calls, one leg thrown on the armrest of her father's throne, "he nearly got us stuck in a vacuum."

Orion rolls his eyes, "did not."

"Did too!" Aurora stomps both her feet on the ground.

"DID NOT!"

"DID T-"

"Silence," Dream mutters under his breath, as not to awaken the napping child in his arms. It is effective to the older children though.

Dream takes the boy's face into his large hand, rubbing his thumb on his cheek, "very good, my son, you have done me proud."

Orion beams, the stardust freckles on his skin shine like the very constellations of his being.

Aurora rolls her eyes, lips curling as she pushes her legs up to her chest and wraps her arms around herself, "I did it first though!"

"You did, indeed, my daughter," Dream turns to her, making his way to his throne. The chair widens as to make room for the both of them, "I am proud of you for it," the king sits next to his princess, "and for the assistance you gave our prince."

Aurora turns to her papa. With Isra in one arm, Dream throws the other arm over Aurora's shoulders, pulling her close. His older daughter's hair flutters with a halo like the borealis as she leans into him lovingly.

"Orion, can you make me a cushioned chair with two pillows?" I huff, leaning on my son's shoulders, feeling exhaustion creep up on me.

Dream and Aurora turn to Orion, who then says, "I'll make them the softest, mummy!"

"Moron!" Aurora quips, "she doesn't like super soft pillows."

"Language," I call to my daughter as my son turns to me.

He verifies, "how soft do you want your pillows, mama?"

Aurora pulls away from Dream, walking over to us with a grunt, "let me do it."

"No! She asked me!"

"But you don't even know how-"

The two are silenced when a sofa chair manifests to my side.

"Oh, thank goodness," I sigh, walking over it to sit myself down, "my feet are killing me."

The twins shoot a look of daggers to the man on the throne, exclaiming both at once, "PAPA!"

Dream shrugs, "I know my queen's preferences better all of you combined."

Aurora makes a face, placing a hand on her hip, "psssh, you forgot it was her birthday last time!"

"Yeah," Orion agrees, "and you only thought of giving her a gift because you saw Gadiel and I making decorations!"

"And then you decorated the whole castle yourself!" Aurora exclaims.

"Not cool," Orion ends.

Dream purses his lips at the memory, "I made sure to keep the throne room empty for you to hang your crafts."

"Papa!" she cries, "that's not the point!"

"You shouldn't have manifested decorations," Orion mumbles, "you should have made some with us!"

Dream, in all his power, was nary a match to his twins when they ganged up on him. He rubs Isra's back, pouting in thought, "you know I'm not good at crafts."

Aurora rolls her eyes as Orion shakes his head. "We can help you, papa," they say at the same time.

"You're the one who keeps telling us to practice," Orion calls.

Dream- 0.

He sighs, "I am defeated."

"Yeah," Aurora says, as though it is the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well," Dream says, turning his gaze from the twins, "I do hope you enjoy..." he trails off upon seeing the blissful form on the chair.

"Mama fell asleep," Aurora pouts.

Orion, catching this as well, rubs his hands together, "I can bring mama to her bed-"

"No!" Dream calls, waving his hand, doing the deed himself, "you must not attempt to do such a thing! Do you understand?!"

The twins turn to their papa, alarmed by his grave tone, "your mother is pregnant and you both are just barely capable of bringing yourselves back and forth to the Dreaming."

Orion frowns, as does his sister, "but you said you were proud of us, papa."

"I am," he says, standing from his throne as Isra sighs in his arms, "but mama is not like us, remember? She could get hurt, and your baby sibling could get hurt too."

The girl remembers something because of that. "Oh, papa!" Aurora calls, "we have something to tell you."

Dream knits his brows, "what is it?"

Aurora turns to her twin, nudging him. Orion has no clue what she is talking about. She waits a moment, makes a face, then grunts in annoyance. She decides to tell him herself, "we think mama is pregnant with twins!"

"What?!"

Orion suddenly remembers, "oh. OH! Yeah, yeah! We saw a vision about it."

Dream gulps, clutching the babe in his arms.

"Oooooooh!" Aurora calls excitedly, "I hope they're both girls!"

"NO!" Orion complains, "one of them at least has to be a boy."

"Ew no! There are enough yucky boys in this family."

"You're yucky!"

"YOU'RE YUCKY!"

"YOU'RE LITERALLY A BUGGER!"

"EW!" Aurora shoves Orion, "YOU'RE PEE!"

Orion cringes, "WELL YOU'RE POOP!"

Dream rubs his face, internally planning the best way to break the whole 'carrying twins news'. He releases a breath.

"Children," the king calls, "are you sure of your vision or is it just twin propaganda?"

[zombryz]

: ̗̀➛ Sparks and Cursed Shadows

˗ˏˋ hello again, dear reader ˎˊ˗   Here is my new series :3

Chapter One

masterlist | Next Chapter 2  | ao3

Pairings: Satoru Gojo x afab!reader x Suguru Geto

A/N: hehehe I am so excited for this one. I've already written 20k words and are planning on posting once a week. I usually write these for myself and will almost always make the reader afab, however, I am always open to requests and can write for any gender. As always, thanks for reading my brain rot :3

Summary: Years had passed since you last saw him—the formidable sorcerer, Satoru Gojo, with his innate six eyes, your old classmate, and first love. When Suguru Geto decided to part ways with Jujutsu High and abandon sorcery altogether, you went with him, both of you unintentionally breaking Satoru's heart. Now, after years and years, your heart aches as Suguru, your now lover, succumbs to the ancient curse of Kenjaku. Suguru—no—Kenjaku threatens to kill Suguru inside of his own mind if you do not confront your once-beloved Satoru Gojo, killing him to bring balance back to the world of curses.

Warnings: (current, may change throughout the story) **Possible Anime/Manga spoilers throughout** PSTD, Death, depression, angst, possessiveness, jealousy, uneven power dynamics (obviously because Gojo is the strongest), eventual lemon/smut, slowburn, right person wrong time, friends to lovers to enemies to lovers again, touch starved, unprotected first time, virgin!reader, virgin!gojo, betrayal, possible pregnancy (undecided but will make it cute, not annoying), fuckboy!gojo, kind of poly!reader (she loves them both at the same time), gore/blood/violence scenes that will be graphic

Word Count: 8.5k

Monday, July 9th 2018

“Do you want to go see Human Earthworm 3?” Mahito annoyingly leans into your shoulder hoping that Suguru won’t see him pestering you. You roll your eyes internally and move your head to the left a little now that Mahito is blocking all the sunlight. He sits in the beach chair next to you after he realizes you’re not going to answer him. “Oh c’mon, Geto has you on such a tight leash it’ll be fun.” He says this in a sing-song voice hoping to get you on-board. 

You scoff and try to ignore his childlike teasing and pull your sunglasses down from the top of your head to block your eyes from Mahito in hopes of getting him to leave you alone. 

“No one will even see me so it’ll be like you’re seeing the movie alone. No need to be embarrassed.” He adds hoping this would somehow change your mind. Ugh, he was so aggravating.  You remember when Suguru introduced you to Mahito, the patch-faced, human-like curse. You initially thought he was cute until he opened his mouth. Nothing has changed since then, he’s just gotten more and more under your skin. 

“Enough Mahito,” Suguru interjects and is suddenly standing over the two of you with his arms crossed. His voice made it seem like he was unbothered by the situation entirely but his body language read a little differently. Mahito slumps back into the beach chair with a clear frown plastered across his face. “Y/N, can you come with me please.” He doesn’t look at you when he says this. Instead, he turns on his heel and walks towards the floating door in the middle of the sand. You were in Dagon’s beach domain. It was mostly relaxing and this was where most of you spent your time in hiding these days. 

“What is it?” You ask as the two of you approach the door. You avoid his blatant eye contact. Lately, you’ve been having a really hard time looking at the man you love because that's just it; He isn’t the man you love, well, not anymore. One day last year he came back from a “mission” extremely injured with stitches across his head. He said that he was no longer Suguru Geto but instead a man by the name of Kenjaku. At first, you thought that the injury on his head made him lose his memory but soon you realized he had been possessed by a curse that you had no idea how to exorcise. He stopped touching you and acted like he barely knew who you were and became very serious-natured. Suguru was never this cold. He tried to imitate his love for you but you knew better. It was all a facade. After all, he had told you the truth, that man was no longer Suguru Geto. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to mourn him or save him. You chose the latter and never gave up hope that one day you would get him back. You knew he was still in there, somewhere. Until then, you would do whatever he wanted you to do. It was like you were his slave. You would cry yourself to sleep at night almost every night since. Your Suguru was no longer there to hold you close, to tell you how much he loved you, to have you by his side. You were no longer of importance to him.

Only once had you attempted to exorcise him. That was the day you almost died. He was too strong and you got the only evidence you needed that he was still in there, trapped inside his own body. His body betrayed Kenjaku and didn’t allow him to hurt you anymore. Suguru had stopped himself from killing you. 

“There is something I need from you.” He shuffles his hands awkwardly. Seeing him come off so confident is weird, although his body language betrays him whenever he speaks to you. In the beginning, it was tough to watch but now, you're just numb to it. God, you wish he’d just get on with it so this conversation could be over. It still hurts and you feel your tears threaten to spill. Now all your relationship was was transactions. You stayed close because you loved him and he took advantage of that. “I need you to kill Satoru Gojo.” Your heart sinks at his request. You had secretly hoped that Kenjaku wouldn’t find out who Satoru was or who he was to you and Suguru but several months ago Kenjaku had devised a plan to trap Satoru. That plan you could live with but this? Satoru’s name still sounded foreign on his pseudo-Suguru’s tongue. Your mind flashes to Satoru’s ocean-blue eyes and his cocky but warm smile. How could he say that about his best friend? Your best friend? He probably had this planned this whole time. You were being naive. It was probably because Satoru posed a serious threat to him. How could you forget that Satoru was the strongest Sorceror? You couldn’t, but instead, you just wished he wasn’t.

“I thought we planned to trap him in the prison realm, that���s what you said!” Your voice betrays you now and you’re not trying to shout but you are. You’re upset and visibly so, why is he saying all of this?

“We’re not certain the prison realm will be enough to hold Satoru Gojo, after all, he is the strongest.” He laughs and you just scoff at his words in disbelief. If Suguru heard himself say this he would be so heartbroken. It had been years since you saw him, the strongest sorcerer, the man who held the innate gift of the six eyes, your old classmate, your first love, Satoru Gojo. Almost ten years to be exact. He would be almost 30 now. So much has changed since then. You wondered if he remembered you and if he thought of you as much as you thought of him.

“I can’t. I won’t-” your voice cracks, “-do that.” The tears from earlier start to spill now. You had hoped that running away with Suguru to follow his dream would mean that you would never have to see Satoru again. You were fine with that but this, you weren’t fine with. Your heart would never allow you to kill Satoru Gojo. You weren’t even sure why Suguru was so confident that you could. Maybe because it wasn’t a request from Suguru…

“Yes, you will. If you have any hope of seeing Suguru Geto again you will.” Your eyes flick up to his forehead where you look at him through wet lashes. You look at the stitches that hold his skull together with haste. He’s still in there and you just wanted him back. “You’re the only one out of all of us that has the best chance of getting close to him. After all, he once loved you. Didn’t he?” Your cheeks burn and your stomach drops at his words. You feel like you’re going to be sick. If you were being honest with yourself, you didn’t know if he once loved you or not. “Even if you don’t kill him, you’re able to get close and weaken him, then we can trap him.”

“Fine.” You wipe the single tear from your cheek and turn to walk away but before you can Kenjaku reaches for your arm and grabs a hold of your wrist tightly making you wince.

“I think you should go with Mahito. It could give you a chance to scope out Satoru’s whereabouts. I hear he has a few students of his own now.” His voice is deep and low making you curious as to why he was whispering. Is this because he doesn’t have faith in the little curses he keeps around him? Are you the only person completely loyal to him? Maybe, you thought. Then your mind wanders to Satoru. You wonder if he’s gotten any taller, his hair any longer, or if he is the same old Satoru. Your lips turn upwards slightly at the thought of his laugh as you leave Suguru and make your way over to Mahito.

“Come on patch-face. We’re going to see your movie.” You throw a towel at him and roll your eyes at the excited face he makes. He reminds you so much of a child and sometimes you don’t know why you can’t stand him. 

Later in the day

You arrived at the movie theater and bought one ticket for Human Earthworm 3. Mahito stood next to you eager to get into the theater. There were only a few other people in the theater, a few boys sitting by the front and a lone teenage boy. Good thing you didn’t care about the movie all that much because the boys up front would not shut up. The lone boy sitting at the top left of the theater wore a purple shirt and his dark hair fell over his face. He looked sad but you tried not to think anything of it. 

“Should I shut them up?” Mahito leaned over to whisper in your ear. His words were laced with evil and you could hear the smile across his lips. You shiver at his words but try to play it off.

“If you want, I don’t care.” You wave him off with an annoyed sigh. The boy in purple looked up at you and you imagined he thought you were crazy for talking to yourself. Whatever. You had gone through your wallet during the movie and found your old jujutsu high ID card. Yep, just as you thought you were once a grade-one sorcerer. You flip over your ID and run your fingertips over the scratched-up surface. There was a smiley face drawn in Sharpie that was slightly smudged. That’s right, Satoru drew this. You smiled sweetly to yourself at the memory. He was so annoying back then but you adored him and his goofy self. He was somehow always so cocky. He was beautiful though, he was tall and hadn’t completely grown into his height yet. You remember his messy white hair and his angelic blue eyes. You even remember him stealing your ID card and holding it above your head so you couldn’t reach it. He always made it a point to joke with you about being short. He was always so playful with you. 

Your mind wanders to something darker as you hold the plastic between your two fingers. Were you really going to have to kill him to bring Suguru back? What if he could help you instead? Did he even still care about you or Suguru enough to do that? This all felt so heavy. Were you even going to be able to kill him if he said no? Kenjaku seemed to think you could. Yes, you were once a very strong sorcerer and if you had to guess you’re probably well past a special grade now but that just means he is too. Even back then Satoru was the strongest, he was a special grade even then. You sigh to yourself. You try to remind yourself that you were the descendant of one of the strongest sorcerers in history. You were part of the Kashimo clan, your great-great-great grandfather was titled the god of lightning. You tried to talk yourself into feeling stronger but it wasn’t helping. The truth is Satoru would kill you in an instant if he wanted to. Maybe because you deserved it and wouldn’t fight back or maybe just because you were weak.

Before you knew it Mahito was bored. He no longer had any interest in the movie and you were snapped out of whatever trance you were just in. He stood up and started walking to the exit but not before completely transmuting all three of the boys who were talking during the entire movie. You roll your eyes and follow him out stuffing your ID card back into your wallet and then into your purse. Such a drama queen.

As you’re walking back to the building where your hideout was you hear someone call out to you. You consider ignoring it but then he yells out, “Hey, you, patch-face with the lady!” Suddenly your eyes widen as you turn around to face the same sad boy from earlier—the one who wore purple and had one side of his face covered by his dark hair.

“Y-you can see him?” You blurt out pointing at Mahito, not even acknowledging that he was going to say something first.

“Yeah, and I also saw what he did to them.” He steps back a little, losing the confidence he just had. He seemed sweet and you knew he wasn’t at all a real threat. Suddenly he seemed sweaty and scared. 

“What, were they your friends or something?” Mahito interjects and you allow him to speak to the poor boy. You feel a small drop of water fall on your face and when you look up you notice it's starting to rain. You pull your hood over your head and lean against a wall under an air conditioning unit so you don’t get wet.

“Can I..” he hesitates, “Do that too?” The boy asks while staring down at his feet. There seems to be something troubling him for him to be asking dangerous strangers for help.

“Come on, I’ll show you.” Mahito grins creepily and that was your queue to leave. You didn’t care to listen to him go on and on about curses when he just learned about it not too long ago himself. After all, he was a new curse.

“You two go on without me. Suguru will want to hear about this.” You share one last look at Mahito and the boy before drifting back into the shadows of the alleyway to make your way back to the hideout. 

The next day 

Mahito tells you that the boy's name is Junpei. He can see and manipulate cursed energy and Mahito has taken it upon himself to personally “train” the boy. You’re slightly annoyed but just happy that Mahito won't be bothering you as much anymore. You tell him to be nice to the boy and that if he hurt him in any way, you’ll kill him. You can’t help it, something about him reminded you of a younger Suguru and it warmed your heart. 

Suguru on the other hand didn’t care as much as you thought he would. He was more disappointed to see that you had returned with no news on Satoru’s whereabouts. You promised to go back out today and see what you could find out. You met up with Mahito who happened to be spying on Junpei. Apparently, Junpei had crossed paths with The king of curses, Sukuna’s vessel, Yuji Itadori, a young boy with bright pink hair and a red hood attached to his Jujutsu High uniform. You could feel just how powerful his cursed energy was from a mile back. His aura sent chills down your spine. Everything about Sukuna freaks you out. You’ve only ever heard stories about him as you and Suguru spent a couple of years searching for his twenty fingers. You also remember that your great-great-great grandfather made it his dying wish that one day he would get to fight Sukuna. You guessed that never happened since your grandfather was the one 6 feet under. 

“He told him about us,” Mahito says while playing with the ends of his hair and swinging his feet out beneath him. He was sitting on a park tree near where Junpei and Itadori were talking but was careful to be out of sight.

“What do you mean?” You weren’t following what he was saying.

“Junpei told Itadori that he saw us yesterday and described what we looked like. Should we go ahead and kill him to preserve Geto’s plan?”

“No, that would just stir the pot. Maybe this could work in our favor. We got word from Jogo that Sukuna’s vessel was one of Satoru-I mean- Gojo’s students, right?” Now Mahito was the one not following. His face is full of confusion. You flick him in the forehead, “That means that Gojo will come to us stupid. Now we won't have to find him. He isn’t going to send his weaker sorcerers to fight us knowing that we’re multiple special grades.” 

“Oh, right!” Mahito smiles and turns to face Junpei once more. “I also fought a blonde sorcerer yesterday! Even more the reason to come.” Mahito sings as he continues to swing his feet humming a tune. 

Your heart drops. A blonde sorcerer? Could it be? 

“Mahito… this blonde sorcerer…” you start but your voice gets stuck in your throat. “Did you kill him?” Your throat suddenly felt like pins and needles.

“The businessman? No, it was a pretty even match actually and we had to draw.” 

Nanamin.. Of course, it was him. You anxiously ran your fingers through your hair. Thank god, he’s still alive. You tried to keep tabs on most of your other old classmates, except Satoru. You thought Nanami quit being a sorcerer but maybe your intel was wrong. 

“Please don’t hurt him.” You turn toward Mahito practically begging. 

“I never thought I’d hear you say that Y/N! Wow, you are a softy arentcha? Well, either way, I do what I want.” Mahito gets close to your face and smiles. You had about enough of him and were this close to exorcising him right then and there when you noticed Itadori and Junpei leaving. Killing Kenjaku’s favorite curse would have to wait. The two of you continued to follow Itadori and Junpei.

Later that day 

You had devised a plan. You overheard Kenjaku and Mahito talking, they were going to use Junpei to create a diversion to see how much control Itadori had over Sukuna, or best case scenario, they were planning on getting control over Sukuna’s vessel themselves. 

The whole plan made you sick. Poor Junpei. You knew what you had to do. You had to be there in the shadows to protect Junpei and to leave with Satoru, however you needed to. This was your only hope of saving Suguru. 

When you weren’t sleeping in Dagon’s domain, you were in a room over at the motel you were all staying at. You used to share this room with Suguru and you just couldn’t be alone in there anymore, it was too much. You began packing a few of your things when you heard someone knock on your door softly.

“Come in.” You call out to them. 

The door opens and when you look up you see Mimiko, her long brunette hair laying at her shoulders and her body language makes it seem like she has been tiptoeing around Kenjaku herself. You can’t believe how much she has grown since you and Suguru found her and her twin sister years ago. For a long time, you all felt like a family. You and Suguru even used to make sweet jokes about how Mimiko and Nanako were your daughters. You once asked Suguru if he thought if you had children together ironically you would also have twin daughters. He chuckled but you knew deep down he never wanted to bring more kids into the world. Sometimes you wish your relationship with him could’ve been different. You would’ve really loved just being about to go on dates and worry about paying rent with your normal careers. Maybe you both would’ve worked at Nanami’s office and made Fridays your movie nights and Tuesdays would be when you invited Shoko, Nanami, and Haibara over for Dinner. Satoru would come sometimes when he wasn’t busy with his new girl of the week. Sadly though, that was all just a dream; but maybe in another life, it wasn’t just a dream. 

“It’s just me.” You say and turn to continue packing with a straight face.

“Oh, okay,” she immediately relaxes. “Where are you going?”

You completely ignored her question, you didn’t want her to start getting worked up. “Where is Nanako, I want to say goodbye to the both of you.” 

“You’re leaving us? No! You can’t, please don’t leave us here with him.” Her voice cracks and it breaks your heart. They both have been through so much. 

You rush over to her to quickly stop her from crying. You lower your voice so that it is above a whisper while you gently rub her shoulder, “It’s okay, it’s not for good. I’m doing this for us Mimiko, I am going to get help so that we can get Suguru back.”

“Really?” She questions while sniffling. 

“Yes, but I need to hurry before he notices. Can you cover for me?” 

“Well, Nanako is with him…” 

“Where?” You say with slight irritation in your voice.

“Upstairs.”

You give her a big hug before making your way up the dirty motel staircase. Luckily, you see Nanako’s blonde hair coming around the corner and she is alone. You run up to her and give her a big hug as well. 

“I love you. Tell Mimiko I love her too. She’ll explain everything.” You don’t even give her a chance to ask any questions before taking off down the other side of the outside hallway. You try to be stealthy and quiet but you’re not quiet enough. Suddenly an arm reaches out to you, jolting you to a stop. It was him. His grip made you wince once more.

“And where are you going, Y/N?” He asks with a borderline sinister smile. You shudder as you go to look at him trying your hardest to pretend like everything is fine. 

“I’m going on your secret mission, remember? I just said goodbye to our daughters.” You hiss up at him. This time you look directly into his eyes so that he feels your anger. 

He didn’t seem to like this, he reached out and grabbed your throat to pull you closer to him. Your teeth clench together and cry out in pain. He’s not quite choking you but he’s holding you hard enough to leave bruises behind. 

“Good luck then.” He mutters in your ear. When he pulls away he places a small chaste kiss on your lips making your heart flutter a little. The entire interaction was giving you whiplash. You figured this was his way of saying ‘Don’t betray me or I’ll kill you’. He lets go of your throat and you cough trying to catch your breath.

You look at him with hate in your eyes one last time before turning and running down the motel stairs. You had one more stop to make for your grand plan to work. Mahito. 

The next day

You wake up the next day in a room unfamiliar to you. The night before you had left your motel and went to a hotel that was closer to Jujutsu High. You showered and put on a little bit of makeup. As you were getting dressed in your family's traditional attire you couldn’t help but feel nervous. Today you were going to see Satoru. What if he didn’t want to see you? Who were you kidding of course he didn’t. You would be lucky if he paid you any mind at all. But what if you had to fight him? Your heart was beating out of your chest as you put on your all-white haori. As you wrapped bandages around your fists and lower arms you breathed out deeply preparing for the worst. You pulled your hair back into two buns and grabbed your quarterstaff before leaving for the school. It had been a long time since you’d had to fight anyone let alone dress in your traditional attire.

You arrive at the school that you heard Mahito mention to Kenjaku the day before. It was the school where Junpei attended. You decided to keep your distance from the fight because you couldn’t give up your position or your plan. When you walk toward the back of the school you see the veil had already been lowered. This was Mahito’s viel which means Kenjaku wasn’t here. He most likely didn’t want to run into Satoru to raise any red flags about your arrival. When you entered the viel you hoped that Mahito had noticed your energy like you planned. You walked through the school and up the stairs. It was dead, where was everyone? There was glass all over the floors from the windows. They must’ve already started fighting. 

You turn the corner to where you thought you heard fighting and that's when you see him. Junpei. No, no, no, you were supposed to protect him. You were too late. Mahito had already gotten his hands on him and turned him into a transmuted beast. You clench your eyes shut as you walk past his body. Your heart sinks and your face twists in anger. Maybe the next part of your plan would be real then. Mahito of course will think you’re putting on a show for the sorcerors like you had planned.

When you walk over to the windowsill you see them. Sukuna’s vessel, Itadori and Nanami were fighting Mahito. Quite frankly, Mahito was getting his ass whooped. You wanted to see how this would play out but that's when you realized one of the most important parts of your plan. Satoru isn’t here. Where was he? Why did they only send Nanami? 

You take a deep breath. Okay, you had two choices. Bail or improvise. You chose the latter. 

With a war cry and your charged cursed energy, you jump from the window and land behind Itadori and Nanami. You tap into your rage and your hair starts emitting cursed lightning that bounces from each of your buns. Your eyes began glowing yellow and you lightly tap your quarterstaff on the ground causing the school courtyard to shake.

“MAHITO!” You scream at the top of your lungs, haste dripping from your tongue. Just as planned, Mahito would change direction and start fighting you. 

Both Itadori and Nanami look your way. Itadori is extremely confused about whether or not you’re also an enemy and when he starts to make his way toward you Nanami reaches his arm out to stop him. He looks back at Nanami and he simply shakes his head signaling him to trust him. 

Mahito then takes the opportunity to shape himself into a giant spiked beast and attempts to slice you where you stand. You jump over his additional spiked body parts and use one of his arms as leverage to jump across to the other side of the courtyard. He tries to hit you again and you redirect his hand using taijutsu and infuse your quarterstaff with cursed lightning and hit him directly in the chest. The impact makes him fly across the courtyard and he starts shaking from the electrical energy in the blast. Damn, you need to dial it back a bit if you want this to be believable. You turn toward Nanami and Itadori. Your eyes meet Nanami’s and your heart flutters in your chest, you haven’t seen him since his hair was long. He was so tall and cute and now he is a big, strong man. His blue dress shirt is snug across his chest and you’re just completely surprised by how much he's grown. His cheeks were much more defined and he was aging like wine. He still wore his signature frown.

Perfect moment to be distracted. Mahito takes the opportunity you give him and turns his arms into little spikes. He pierces the back of your thigh causing you to scream out in pain. What was he doing? This wasn’t the plan. You cry out as you feel two more spikes go through your gut. When he pulls them out you look down to see your all-white haori covered in blood, your blood. Well so much for dialing it back, you trusted Mahito enough to not kill you but maybe that was his plan all along. This fake fight was a ploy for him to kill you.

“Y/N!” Nanami yells out as he runs over to catch you before you fall. 

“N-na-namin” you respond breathlessly as you fall to your knees. There was blood pouring from your mouth. Nanami catches you and you hold your stomach as you shake in his arms. Did Kenjaku know your plan all along? Why would Mahito kill you? You felt yourself slipping out of consciousness and all you could think about was the fact that you wouldn’t get to see Satoru after all. Maybe this was for the best. If you can’t be with Suguru you don’t care whether you lived or died. 

As your eyes start to close you can feel Nanami squeeze you tighter as he hugs you against his chest. You hear Itadori yell out that Mahito is getting away and Nanami tells him to let him go, and that it wasn’t worth it. Then you hear Itadori ask if Nanami knew who you were to which he replied, “Yes, I know her well.” 

---

Two days later

You wake up to the smell of cigarettes and hear muffled talking in the background. When you sit up frantically in shock you see that you are handcuffed to the bed. You begin to panic, your charged cursed energy threatening to spill out until you realize that you recognize where you are. You’re in the medical office at Jujutsu High. You’ve been here for many injuries, most of which were self-inflicted from your training with Satoru. Damn, his stupid infinity, your attacks would almost always bounce back causing you to get hurt. When you look down you see your thigh wrapped in bandages as well as your lower abdomen. 

“That special grade curse got you pretty good.” You scoff at the statement that Mahito was a special grade curse. Screw him. But wait, you know that voice, that sweet voice coated with years of cigarettes and liquor.

“Shoko?” You yell out whipping your head back and forth to search for her.

“Hey squirt, it’s me don’t get all frizzy on me now.” She wheels her chair over to your bed and stands to take your temperature while simultaneously rubbing your head trying to stir up your electrical cursed energy. That’s right, she always called you that because you were a little younger and a little shorter than her. She also loved annoying you by making your hair frizzy. You didn’t even care that she was making your hair a mess, a huge smile was plastered across your face. She looks much older, you bet it's from her bad smoking and drinking habits. She’s still beautiful though, just has dark circles under her eyes and her hair is much much longer. She’s still the same Shoko. God how you missed her. 

“Why am I chained to the bed?” You ask but you already know the answer to that question. 

“You know why squirt…” Her face drops and she wheels away from your bed now. 

“Well, what happens now? Am I to be executed now that I am in the school's possession again?” You ask with a small laugh but deep down you have a genuine concern that that might be the case, this was one of the reasons you never came back after deserting the school with Suguru. 

“You know there are very strong people here that would never allow that to happen.”

Was she talking about Satoru? She had to be. Unless someone else from your class sprouted up and became strong enough to overpower those in charge. You decide to assume she’s talking about Satoru.

“I’m not so sure about that. Last time I saw him he seemed perfectly okay with the idea of me dying.” Your voice gets quiet as you say this, it’s as if the wound is still fresh. You don’t allow her to say anything to that, “Anyways, where is he?”

“He got back yesterday, as soon as he heard you were here.” Suddenly there are butterflies in your stomach. You thought you were going to die at Mahito’s hand but it seems he missed all of your vitals. So you get to see Satoru after all. Why were you suddenly so nervous?

Without warning, the big metal door to the facility opens and you see Shoko stand to greet whoever it is. Part of you hoped it was Satoru and the other part of you was scared shitless. 

“Y/N.” A stern male’s voice states your name causing you to jump a little.

Your eyes start watering, “Nanamin?” You turn your head to see him walking over to you. 

“You know I hate when you call me that.” Nanami gets closer to your bed and unlocks your handcuffs freeing you. You giggle at his defensiveness, it’s good to see he hasn’t gotten any more expressive with his emotions. You jump into his arms and hug him. He is reluctant to return your hug but he ultimately does. You’ve missed him so so much. 

“Why are you freeing me?” You step back and rub your wrists looking down to see they’re starting to bruise. When you reach up you feel a bandage around your neck too. You look at Shoko confused until you remember the moment you had with Kenjaku before you left. You rub the bandage gently reminding you of why you’re here. He had hurt you. You want Suguru back.

“We have some questions.” He reaches around your back and puts new handcuffs around your wrists. He is gentle with his movements though so that he doesn’t hurt you. You sigh, just when you thought you were free. You understood why though, it was going to take a lot of work for anyone here to trust you again. Nanami walks you down the hall to Principal Gakugangi’s office. Memories of this hallway flood your brain. You remember the time you, Satoru, and Suguru raced down this hallway. Of course, Satoru won because he had the longest legs.

You’re brought to a room next to the principal’s office that has a chair seated at the front of the room directly under multiple TV screens. Across from that, there were a bunch of seats that were set up auditorium style. All of your old teachers and classmates were already seated, all except Satoru. You started to explain to ex-principal Yaga and principal Gakuganji why you were there. It was as if you were reading from a script. It was the story you fabricated to get here, although most of it was true. You told Shoko, Nanami, Utahime, Mei-Mei, Gakuganji and Yaga. You wished Satoru was here to listen but you figured there was a reason he wasn’t. You went on about how after you left Jujutsu High years and years ago with Suguru he was possessed by Kenjaku and forced you to work for him. You lied and told them how you heard that Mahito could transmute souls and that you went looking for him to help touch Suguru’s soul to kill Kenjaku inside of him. Everything in your story came together so perfectly, you mentioned how you were fighting Mahito at the school because he had betrayed you and told Suguru your plan and was ultimately trying to kill you. This explained why Itadori told them Junpei saw you at the movies with Mahito and why you were trying to kill him afterward. 

Finally, Utahime spoke up and asked, “Why did you never come back to us, Y/N?” She sounded so dejected as she said this. You were starting to regret coming back at all, it was already stirring up way too many old emotions that you thought you tucked away years ago.

This question hit harder than you expected it to. Your chest started to feel tight. You held your wrists together to wipe your face of the tears that were now spilling out on their own. Bending forward you rest your head in your arms before continuing, “I wanted to come back, trust me I did!” You pause and look at all your old friends sitting on the edge of their seats listening to you with such care in their eyes. “I was scared because of the death penalty and also I wanted to protect you guys the best I could from Suguru, h-he was not himself.” You sniffle and stare down at your bound hands, you internally debate saying this last part but they deserve to know, “a-and, I loved him.” You hesitantly correct yourself, “I do love him.” You’re suddenly brought back to the first few years together with Suguru after you both had abandoned Jujutsu High. You were severely depressed and would cry almost every night to Suguru about how you missed everyone at Jujutsu High and how you wanted to go back. He would comfort you but couldn’t understand your reasoning. He didn’t ask you to follow him and he never really understood why you did. He did, however, reassure you of his love whenever you need it. You don’t think he ever felt sad about his past which allowed him to pour himself into both you and his purpose. 

You watch as everyone’s eyes quickly dart toward the door behind you. When you look over your shoulder with puffy eyes you see what they were looking at. You finally see him. The strongest sorcerer, the man who held the innate gift of the six eyes, your old classmate, your first love, Satoru Gojo. He is, where do you even begin? If your heart wasn’t hurting so bad you could probably talk about how he was taller than the door frame for hours. His hair was slightly longer than you remember and still as white as snow. It sat perfectly on top of his head with a black blindfold that covered his beautiful blue eyes that had been burned into your memory for years. He upgraded from the little black sunglasses you used to steal from him. His lips looked as soft as you remember and when you look down you see his arms crossed over his chest. His arms look so much bigger now that he has grown into his lanky self. He looks strong and his hands are huge. You can’t even focus, the room was spinning and your heart was beating out of your chest. How embarrassing. No one said a thing. You hated that you couldn’t see his eyes. You knew him though, more than probably anyone else in the room. Your presence made him uneasy and nervous just as much as yours did his. He continued to stare at you through his blindfold. Everyone fell into an unbearable silence. It felt like you were swallowing nails every time you took a breath. You wanted him to scream or yell at you, you wanted him to do something other than what he was doing. Your eyes were begging him to take you away from all the eyes in the room so that you could talk one-on-one, but he wouldn’t do that. Not anymore. You wanted to know if he still cared at all if he even missed you.

“I thought I told you not to get distracted in a fight,” Satoru speaks in a calm voice but his posture stiffens against the door as he speaks.

You open your mouth to reply but instead, Principal Yaga interjects and stands before you causing you to turn your attention to him. You just wanted to be anywhere but here. You were now very unsure about whether or not Satoru would allow the higher-ups to kill you or not. Suddenly you feel very small and weak.

“The Kyoto sister school exchange event is about to begin,” he gruffs in annoyance and points to the TVs above your head. “We’re done for today. Gojo, she is your responsibility, put her in the talisman room until we figure out what to do with her.” 

Your head shifts from Principal Yaga to Satoru, suddenly very nervous. The talisman room is where sorcerers bring special-grade human-like curses, “evil” sorcerers, or anyone who poses a threat to the sorcerer world. It was like a holding cell that drained all your cursed energy. It was where the school put those who were on death row. You freeze in your chair when you see Nanami coming over to drag you out of the room.

“N-Nanamin, please, no,” you beg, catching a sob in your throat. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” His eyes seem sincere but you knew he had no choice. He walks you over to Satoru who takes the chains on your wrist without saying a word. He is neither gentle nor harsh in the way he leads you down the hall. A tense silence falls around you. This is the closest you’ve been to him in years and you just want things to go back to the way they were. You’re too scared to look at him so you stare at the ground rethinking this whole thing. Should you try to fight Satoru here and now? No, he’s too strong and the others would be behind him. Should you make a break for it and run back to Suguru? No. You stop abruptly causing Satoru’s infinity to hit you causing you to lose your balance. He had his infinity up around you? This was ultimately a test to see if he still trusts you, even a little, but the answer was no. Your heart breaks, things are never going to be the same. Now that you are out of the sight of the others you turn to Satoru as much as your position allows, your last hope was talking to him.

“Satoru,” You hum his name, it coming out much sweeter than you meant for it to. “Please, l-listen to me.” You look up at him and try to ignore how he towers over you. He tilts his head down at you. You’re still unable to see his eyes so you just assume he’s looking at you. “I-I know you don’t trust me anymore…” Your voice wavers as you say this. “But, you’re in danger. Please list-” 

“’m the strongest.” His voice is gruff and cold as he cuts you off. It’s his way of saying ‘Shut up, no I’m not’. 

You start pulling your arms away from him to get him to understand how serious this is. He eventually gives way and you’re now facing him with your hands behind your back. He cockily puts his hands in his pocket allowing you to continue talking. He is straight-faced and almost looks bored. Oh, how you wished you could see his signature Satoru Gojo smile. 

“Suguru has been possessed by a very strong cursed spirit who has lived many lifetimes. He is planning on sealing you away!” Your voice strains as you try to plead with him. 

“Suguru is dead,” His voice is still just as monotone as before. “I should know, I’m the one who killed him.” 

First, your heart drops. Then your eyes widen and your muscles tense up. “What?” You grumble through gritted teeth as you slowly blink up at him as your mind tries to wrap around what he just said. The electric cursed energy you possess begins to flow through you in anger. You can feel the static electricity start to form between the two buns in your hair, like a radio frequency. Your hair begins to float from the friction. Suddenly your arms are free from their shackles. You must’ve tensed up so much that your strength snapped them off.

“That was you?” You say with furrowed brows as your feet naturally start to take a fighting pose. You remember when Kenjaku came back in Suguru’s place that day and explained that he found his body ‘without a host’, aka dead. You didn’t believe it, you never did. Who could’ve possibly killed him? Whoever it was had to be strong, you never guessed it would be Satoru. He was his best friend. And Suguru was still in there. He had to be.

“You know I had to do it. Don’t start this Y/N, you know I’d win.” His hands were still in his pockets and now he was just getting on your nerves. You hated that the first time you heard him say your name again was under these circumstances. 

“You’re just going to have to kill me too,” Your tears stop and you reach your arm out to summon your quarterstaff using your cursed wavelength, after a moment it shatters a window and is in your grip, “Gojo.” You twirl your staff around your head and tap it on the ground making the rest of the windows in the hall shatter. You revert to his last name and for a split second, you think you see him release a pained breath but you no longer care. There was no going back for either of you. You were now enemies. 

You run at him at full speed while building up your cursed energy in your staff. You had no idea how you were going to get him to turn off his infinity but you were okay with it ending here. There was something so beautiful about dying at Satoru’s hand. As soon as you’re close enough, you jump above him and hit right where his head would be. You can see your attack absorbed by his infinity. However, the floor and the wall behind him weren’t as lucky. They both take a huge hit and crumble away. Why wasn’t he fighting back? Why wasn’t he killing you?

Attack after attack after attack, he just allows you to come at him. You’re extremely angry and you feel like you’re going to explode. You throw your quarterstaff at the wall frustrated and instead walk up to him preparing to try hand-to-hand combat. Your lips are trembling now, you’re a sobbing mess. He finally pulls his hands out of his pockets as you incessantly pound on his infinity until you feel it slowly dwindle. Then your arms make contact with his chest. Tears run down your cheeks as your arms feel his heartbeat where they are resting against him  It even annoyed you that his heartbeat came out slower and calmer than yours. Who were you kidding, you didn’t pose a threat to him at all. You may be a special-grade sorcerer but your weakness was him, and maybe you were his too. You fall into him completely exhausted from over-exerting yourself. He allows your forehead to rest on his heart completely swallowed by sadness. You finally gave in and cried your heart out into his chest. He then slowly reaches up to grab your arms, his touch is hesitant but still gentle. It’s almost like he doesn’t want to touch you but does so anyway. He ever so slightly rubs his thumb across your wrist making you raise your head to look at him. Your eyes were wet, your lips were red, and your hair messily fell around your face. You still couldn’t see his eyes, those beautiful eyes, and that stupid blindfold.

“He’s not dead. He can’t be.” You plead again, not even sure what you’re expecting from him anymore. “I-I love him, Satoru.” You can’t believe you’re sitting here telling him this, crying into his chest like you once did what felt like lifetimes ago now,  “I know you once loved him too, he was your best friend. Please, plea-” 

He brings his hand up to your cheek and caresses it softly before bringing his two forefingers up to your forehead and gently draining you of all your energy, ultimately putting you to sleep. Your eyes roll back in your head and you fall limp into his arms. Satoru leans down to pick you up bridal style before walking over to your quarterstaff and picking it up in one swift motion. You were so light in his arms. Your head lulls on his chest as he carries you to the talisman room. Your hair was completely out of place and your lips were slightly parted as if this was the most comfortable sleep you had gotten in a while. He can't help but stare at you through his blindfold as his chest tightens with emotion. You were the same girl he fell in love with years ago, you just matured and there was a certain confidence in the way you carried yourself that you didn’t do before. Your hair was much longer and your cheeks had thinned out a bit with age. It was so strange seeing you again, now his heart was starting to beat fast. He honestly never thought he’d see you again. When he ran into Suguru last year he was sure you would be with him, fighting alongside him… but you weren't. He had hoped that meant you ran away from it all and maybe even married a nice ordinary man, someone you wanted to marry, settled down, had a family like you always talked about, and abandoned sorcery altogether. But here you were not only before his very eyes but in his arms again, still tied up with his best friend and still tied up with jujutsu sorcery. He wondered what you had been through all this time away from him. He had tried to move on, he did. He’s been on plenty of dates with other women and he even tried pursuing both Utahime and Shoko, they were the closest thing he could get and it wasn’t close at all. Shoko knew he was trying to fill your void and she respected herself too much to give in to his motives. Utahime on the other hand liked him back and for a while, they tried dating but in the end, they just weren’t compatible. None of them were you, you hurt way too much. How was it fair that in the end, you chose Suguru? Did you not love him too? Did you just love him more? Why didn’t you stay?

Satoru was suddenly very thankful that you were asleep and that he had a blindfold on, his tears escaped anyway. 

He walked past his room with you in his arms. Part of him wanted to lay you on his bed in hopes that you would wake up and this would all just be a bad dream. You would be back in 2006 laying in his bed again but instead of thinking with his heart, he went with his head. He brought you to the talisman room, sat you in the chair in the center of the room, and left to return to watch the Kyoto Sister School Exchange event.

[obeiii-mee]

Can I please request the demon brothers' and undateables' reactions when they find out MC has a tattoo?

The Brothers and Nowdateables reacting to an MC with a tattoo

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I have a few angsty/comfort requests that are gonna take a while to finish so now I'm taking a break by writing slightly shorter HCs of the brothers and nowdateables, I've had these asks sitting in my inbox for so long-I am genuinely sorry ;-;

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Levi, Satan, Asmo, Beel, Belphie, Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, Solomon, Luke

Warnings: Just mild cursing

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Lucifer:

-Lucifer feels pretty neutral about tattoos in general

-Since they have been popular for a long time now, it wouldn’t be his first time seeing a human with a tattoo and honestly has no impact on him at the beginning of the programme because it’s just a quirky human thing y’know

-Demons can technically get tattoos but there is no point since many of them can shapeshift anyway and their human forms can have any number of oddities such as piercings or tattoos

-It's mostly a human thing, turns out we started the whole 'injecting ourselves with ink to see how it goes' trend and kinda ran for the fields with it-demons and angels don't really see the appeal

-Once he warms up to you, if you explain the reasoning or meaning behind it (whether you had it in memory of someone or just because you liked the design) he might actually appreciate it a bit more

-At the end of the day, he thinks it adds to your character and it also indirectly tells him something about you in general, which is a subject he is more than just a little interested in

-He doesn't understand it but he thinks it looks good on you and if you like it then who is he to judge?

Mammon:

-Honestly, he thinks it's one of the coolest things about you, even though he'd drop dead before admitting this to your face

-Even if it's a really simple, small tattoo he's going to internally fawn over it because, in his eyes, it makes you look badass af

-Lowkey offended you've been hiding this from him for so long

-Actually, you might just persuade him to get one himself and knowing him, he would totally go over the top with it

-I mean, think about it, if he hasn't already Mammon is definitely the type of person to get sleeves of tattoos and look hot whilst doing it

-100% would get matching tattoos with you, would not even hesitate and it seems like a good idea except you'd inflate his head bigger than it already is so-

-Is a dumbass and would probably try to colour in the tattoos if they are accessible to him at any given moment and he happens to have sharpies on him

Levi:

-You know, funnily enough, I think Levi would look really good with tattoos, especially if he got some that were related to either his sin or water

-But an MC with a tattoo would absolutely amaze him since it definitely gives off protagonist vibes and he will probably find a way to relate you back to almost every anime he's ever watched that happened to have a character with a tattoo in it

-Honestly, he'd be more than willing to listen to you about the meaning or origin behind your tattoo/s if you feel like disclosing it to him (or if there is a meaning) since you often listen to his rants without a second thought and he wants to return the favour

-Actually, you might encourage him enough to get his own

-But I wouldn't count on it for the foreseeable future, he was kind of put off by what sounds like a painful procedure and thought of his brothers never letting him hear the end of it

-Also, he is part of the military and I like to think that, for disciplinary reasons, members might have a strict dress code (then again they are demons so probably not)

-Either way, he likes tattoos and even though he gets a tad too excited when you start telling him about your own and might ask some personal questions, he has good intentions

Satan:

-Kinda in the same boat as Lucifer though don’t tell him I said that

-He has many human acquaintances and seems to be on good terms with many of them so it’s more than likely he has met several people with tattoos in the past

-He didn’t expect you to have any, naturally but when he finds out about it, he’s pretty chill though he might try to make small talk and ask what it symbolises, etc.

-Sometimes, if you’re sitting close to him whilst reading or something, and your tattoo is accessible (like on your forearm) then he might trace it with his own hand absentmindedly

-Weirdly enough, I also think he’d like seeing his pact mark somewhere near your tattoo-there’s no real reason for this I just thought he’d be into that

-I think maybe sometimes he uses the physical appearance of someone to judge and analyse them as if he was Sherlock Holmes so that might happen during your first couple of days in Devildom 😭😭

-Other than that, he doesn’t think about it or bring it up all that much. He’s usually too distracted by your annoyingly attractive face y’know

Asmo:

-You already know where I’m going with this one

-There’s no way in Hell that Asmo is not the type to flirt and use your tattoos as a reason for that

-This might not sound right but, like Mammon, I also think he’d have a tattoo if possible though definitely not whole sleeves. More like small tattoos on his ankles or wrists

-He would definitely get tattoos for the aesthetic rather than the actual meaning behind it because he wants to look good for his Devilgram story and the tattoo needs to fit whatever theme he’s obsessed with

-But when it comes to you, no matter what tattoo or how big or small it is, he immediately finds it endearing

-Whilst his brothers are mostly in the neutral zone about this kinda thing I feel like Asmo would 100% encourage and support you getting one even if you don’t have one already

-And then obviously, all further shopping trips and the type of clothes he’s gonna get you will be altered with the tattoos in mind in order to show them off as often as possible

Beel:

-I just hope you don’t have a tattoo of a certain type of food anywhere on your body because that might trigger him

-Especially at the beginning, he’s already watering at the thought of eating you so a tattoo of a burger or something would not help

-Otherwise, he also sort of falls in the neutral category when it comes to tattoos

-After all, he didn’t start hanging out with you because of your accessories, regardless of how cool they are

-Then again, he is interested in you and therefore, once you’re more comfortable with each other, I see him as the type to ask quiet but sweet questions about any tattoos you might have

-Like he might talk about his past and then conversation may lead to you getting that tattoo in the past for whatever reason

-Just really little things that he’ll remember and then surprise you with next time you talk

-Also, he’d be hesitant to get one himself but he’d look good with it. Like really good. Just wanted to point that out

Belphie:

-He sort of hated it at the beginning but that’s only because he hated you 💀

-Once he stops acting like a little bitch he becomes a lot more neutral about it

-Or at least he says he’s indifferent towards it but you’re starting to think he’s lying because every time he falls asleep now, his head happens to lean against your tattoo

-He still likes his pact mark better

-I like to think that Belphie would also look good with tattoos but I really don’t think he’d get any just because he couldn’t be bothered

-If you like talking about yours though, he encourages it because your voice whilst you speak about anything but especially if it’s about you puts him to sleep like nothing else (in a good way, he loves it)

-Might also have tried to colour your tattoo in but not because he’s an idiot. He’s just a mischievous little shit

Diavolo:

-Naturally, he assumes it’s part of human culture and will be as interested in it as every other aspect regarding you

-In fact, you could probably feel him marvel at your tattoo from miles away and he always compliments it if he happens to pass you by in the corridors

-Though he was definitely confused about it when he first learned tattoos were a thing, he didn’t really get it but it doesn’t matter!

-He would sympathise if he learned that getting one hurts quite a bit but eventually he’d convince himself he’d want to get one himself

-And he’s dead serious about it too but thankfully Barbatos puts a stop to it by reminding him that maybe the future ruler of Devildom shouldn’t go too crazy with tattoos

-He might get small ones to match with yours but either way he will be fascinated by the meaning behind yours (if there is one)

-I’d see him as the type to also trace it with his hands but out of curiosity on how it feels more than anything and he always asks first cuz polite prince things yk

Barbatos:

-He gives off this air of aloofness which you interpret as disinterest when in reality it’s politeness that is holding him back from asking you about it

-Of course, unless you bring the conversation to focusing on your tattoo, he feels he has no right to comment (this tbh would include stuff like dyed hair, piercings, etc.)

-And obviously, being the mysterious butler he is, he’d much rather hear you talk about yourself so the meaning behind your tattoo is a perfect example of leading the spotlight away from him

-Still, he can’t say he doesn’t find your tattoo/s endearing but I believe that is simply because he finds all of you endearing so eh

-Though you noticed that whenever your tattoo is on display in public he does tend to stare at it sometimes when he is not need by Lord Diavolo

-He’d also be the type to trace it, I think. It feels like it would relax him or something idk, maybe I’m pulling at straws here

-He’s probably not overly fond of tattoos in general but honestly you rock everything you wear and that includes tattoos so he’s not complaining

Solomon:

-He’s just annoying bruh

-Like, he does not understand personal space (something that even Mammon has understood to an extent) and will ask as many personal questions as possible within a 60 second interval

-Obviously he backs off and apologises if he makes you uncomfortable but he does the thing where he clearly stares at something without saying anything

-And you have to ask if he wants something and then he goes “How long have you had this tattoo for?” Or something similar to that

-And that’s another thing-the questions he asks about it are so bloody random. Like “What nationality was your tattooist?” And “What was the weather like when you got it” which is just weird

-I think he’d have a couple of tattoos of his own but I don’t think you’d be able to tell them apart from the dozens of pact marks he has with other demons

-He won’t talk about his but if you’re willing to talk about yours without shutting him down then he’s all ears

Simeon:

-See I’m conflicted about this

-Because as an angel, I don’t think he’d be particularly supportive of tattoos mostly because he would maybe think that they are staining your beautiful skin or something

-But on the other hand, he’s down bad for you and for some reason, tattoos look a lot better on you than they do on others he’s seen

-Of course, he’s very complimentary when he first met you about it and asked small, polite questions but never intruded unlike a certain someone *coUGH COuGH-solomon-COUgh*

-Once the two of you grow closer, his curiosity might might get the better of him and he would feel more comfortable talking about stuff like that in general

-It was kind of a big thing about you at first but the more time he spends in your presence, the more accustomed he gets to it-meaning it no longer stands out to him all that much

-Will probably stare as well but unlike that embarrassing sorcerer, he actually would get pretty flustered about it

Luke:

-He’s never seen a tattoo in his life

-He’s quite young and hasn’t had many interactions with humans before ok, give him a break

-You were the first person with a tattoo he’s ever met and he is confused beyond measurement

-“Simeon why does the human exchange student have drawings on their skin?”

-He doesn’t want to be rude obviously but he questions it the same way most children would 😭😭😭

-He doesn’t think it’s bad or anything but it’s kinda like tasting a new type of food and trying to decide whether it’s good or not

-He’s very curious about it but Simeon told him not to ask anything personal unless you gave the green light for that to happen

-Obviously his whole reaction would be what you would expect a child’s to be, a lot of staring but it’s not malicious and he’s definitely all about finding out more about it if you’re willing to tell him. He does think they look good on you

-

-

[aheathen-conceivably]

Hello! Merry Christmas and good luck in the new year! I have a question, I don’t know if it’s been asked already, but I’m interested to know which of your characters is closest to you in spirit? What traits do you have in common with him? And vice versa. Which character is the most difficult for you to write, which you do not always understand: his actions, words and motivation, because you are a real writer and are probably good at the psychology of heroes (I really apologize for the distorted sentences, because I am a foreign subscriber and use a translator)

Absolutely no need to apologize, Nonny! Everything looks great and thank you so much for taking the time to send these thoughtful questions 💕

Y’all already know the rambler in me is getting all excited, so prepare y’all selves! Though I must say, it’s quite hard to pinpoint an answer, mostly because there’s at least a small bit of myself in each of the characters and who’s easiest to write is not always who is the most like me? So naturally, let’s go below the cut, and I’ll split this into sections to make it easier for us to read 😘

1. My spirit characters:

Honesty time. I think that it’s easier for me to put my “negative” qualities into characters and thus also easier to recognize them in hindsight. This is probably because it’s simply often easier to see what needs to be improved in yourself than vice versa, but also probably because I’m a dramatic broad who likes giving her characters flaws.

So although I could probably find a bit of myself in most characters, I would say those who are most like me are Rosella, Zelda, and Violette. Just down to sims traits, Rosella and my simself actually both have the self-absorbed trait (oops). I think this manifests in different ways, but at its core I’m just as likely to follow my wants and cut ties as she is. I also have a ~rather strong~ proclivity for the aesthetic and vain, enjoying beautiful things for their own sake often to the point of distraction. However, I like to think that this is tertiary to me, and my pursuit of them is not as detrimental as it was for her.

Which brings us to, of course, Zelda. Zelda shares this love of the beautiful with her sister, although for her it can extend into the ephemeral and artistic rather than simply the mundane. I would say I share that tendency toward internal existentialism with her, as well as the proclivity to separate from my immediate surroundings rather than live in the present moment. I, like her, can thus often seem “out of it” but in reality we’re just interpreting our surroundings through a distorted, if not tinted lens. However, I’m by no means as artistically talented or reserved as Zelda, which brings us to….

Our little heiress, Violette. Now I’ll try not to get too deep into spoilers here, but Little Lottie and I definitely share some core tendencies. I, like her, despise being told what to do, and will usually become more stubborn or do the opposite simply because of what someone said (whether it’s well intentioned or not). I can also be gregarious, dramatic, and loud when I want to be, and enjoy being the center of attention. However, I think the Zelda in me tempers that so that I need to retreat back into my cave after a while, while Violette thrives on it. I was also raised an only child, so a lot of Lottie’s experience with loneliness and not knowing how to relate to other children is coming from my own childhood.

2. The easiest to write:

So oddly, I don’t think there’s a clear connection between the characters who are most like me and those I find easiest to write. Rather I think that comes from the historical situation that is currently inspiring me, which character fits into that inspiration the best, and how clear of a grasp I have on that character’s personality. This often comes in the form of scenes just appearing in my head, and as I write it’s like the sentences already exist? So there’s this natural understanding between the character and me, where I don’t really have to sort through thought rubble or force their perspective quite as much?

This answer is highly dependent on what part of the story we are currently in. As in, there have been times I have found a character easy to write, and then it will suddenly switch. Zelda is absolutely one of those characters, as her perspective came very naturally to me in parts of the 1910s and then again after motherhood. Now, I find it easier to write the characters surrounding her, and I’m sure it will switch again at some point in the future.

Currently? I find Josephine easiest to write (although she is not very similar to me at all, and her deep fear of commitment is something that I don’t share in the slightest), with Antoine coming in as a close second. Violette’s perspective in the 1940s has also kind of begun presenting itself to me, although at various points I would say that Adelia, Virginia, and Florence have all also been the easiest characters to write for, and those who’s voices have inspired me to come up with new scenes and plotlines.

3. Who even is she?

Now for the characters who are least like me? That one has gotta probably gotta go to Florence, Virginia, and Antoine. As much as I may want to be like Florence, I’m gunna be honest with y’all and say that is not the case. Starting with the fact that I strongly dislike the great outdoors. Farming? Nah. Camping? Absolutely not. Living of the land? What a pleasant dream. What can I say, I am absolutely a Rosella; I enjoy being fancy and comfortable, and Florence in some ways is the antithesis of this. She also embodies selfless generosity and a sort of steady love, which are not things that I would say I really relate to (I once again point you to answer 1 😅).

Now Virginia is a strange one. I was actually very concerned with writing her, because I share none of the righteousness or quickness to action that define her. Likewise, I don’t think that I am able to remain as steady and surefire in tragedy and trauma as she does. So when I first conceived her character I thought I would have great difficulty writing her, but as I mentioned above, despite the fact that she is probably the least similar to me of all the Darlingtons, I found her easy and almost natural to write once we began her storyline.

Which brings us to my baby boy. Sigh. I say this next because Antoine has easily been one of the most natural characters for me to write. I think this is because I had such a clear vision of him from the start that has really been able to grow through the story. So he’s remained who he is through it all, and why I still find him so easy to write.

Despite this, there is very little to none of me in his character, despite the fact that I maybe sorta have a thing for the broken artist stereotype (hello, hubs, I know you’re out there 😙). So there may be some ways in which I wrote my partner into his character’s talent and approach to the world around him, but he is heavily inspired by these ideas of “old fashioned masculinity”, of self-imposed stoicism and protection and fatherhood. These are feelings that I have to imagine rather than pull from experience, but somehow the more I write him the more real they become to me as well.

4. The ~struggle~

Hands down the hardest characters for me to write have been Oliver and Isaiah. I think that Oliver really suffered from the fact that he was my first gen heir, so I was at a place in the story and my writing process where I wasn’t as sure in what I was doing or as good at honing into what I wanted to do. Then by the time this became more clear to me, I had really begun to lean into writing Florence’s character and then his children. So he kind of became less of a focus, and the less I focused on him the harder it was for me to define his voice, which then became a cycle.

I think if I could go back, I would lean more into the connection that I see between him and the romantic poets, really kind of exploring that juxtaposition between idealized nature and reality. I also think his position as a pseudo-wealthy aristocratic and failed businessman had a lot of potential, but alas, you live and you learn.

Now onto the Forgotten Child. Y’all (and I) call him that for a reason, and I think next to his sisters it’s no secret that Isaiah received much less focus (I even have a post about him realizing this 😂). Part of this is just that he’s the youngest, so I really didn’t get much time to explore his adult life or even his teenage years. It’s also because trying to juggle six perspectives all at once means that some are going to suffer more than others.

Now that being said, I am happy with his storylines. However, they often felt more like I was exploring plots I had come up with rather than really viewing things through his perspective. I think this is the biggest challenge to me when having trouble writing a character: it’s that their voice is just for whatever reason not really clear in my mind. Even in the subsequent decades, our English Darlington updates are mostly going to come from Summer, because I still have never really gotten my finger on exactly who Isaiah is. For that reason, my poor forgotten baby boy is probably the most difficult character for me to write.

—

ALSO if you made it this far please know that turning your delightful questions into a multi-paragraph rant about myself is a very self absorbed and very Rosella/Violette thing to do so in the end…I think you have all the answer you need right there 🤣

[sciderman]

hi sci! i think at least once a day i am taken aback by how much of an incredible artist you are. your ability to create and your passion for it is just astounding to me, over the course of a few years your work has become such a pillar of inspiration for me 💘

i've asked you before for drawing tips and i value those so much but i've found myself actually wanting more and more to get into writing fanfiction but i have about a million worries and i'm not entirely sure to start. i definitely smashed out a few so-bad-its-bad obscure anime fanfictions as a kid but i really haven't touched creative writing in eons. I know you've been writing for a good while, but do you have any writing tips you tend to refer to or any advice for begginners? ... and any advice on getting over my internalised cringe culture when i can't open a word document and type out "peter parker" without shrivelling into myself...

anyway! have a great day! i love you very much and i am so excited for the spidercablepool fic to ruin my train of thoughts for the forseeable future :] ❤️

immediate cringe upon the mention of "peter parker" is par for the course, i'm afraid

bless you so much @saeram!! bless you for all your kind words, i... houugh... thank you so, so much. thank you so much for reading the goofy things i put out into the world - i'm so, so glad you're enjoying it!

i don't know if i have a lot in the way of writing advice - i think the only way to overcome the shame of it is just to whisper "i am cringe and i am free" and do it. i think anything you enjoy doing is worth doing - and, you know, if it's not enjoyable you just wouldn't do it. you post your first fanfiction - you get feedback, you find out people hate it when you write in first person. you learn, you come back stronger than ever. (not from personal experience. okay. yes. it's from personal experience.)

(i still like my first person pov fics. shut up.)

maybe my first advice is don't write in first person (people hate that.) (but actually i love it, when it's done well. but i'm freaky kinky.)

i'd say reading definitely helps when it comes to writing, but again, that's me giving good advice that i don't follow (i'm jared, 19.) - i mostly read comics. and i mostly read comics that i don't enjoy. don't be like me. read things that you enjoy - even if you've read it a hundred times before, odds are, it'll inspire.

i did say when people asked me advice on writing dialogue (which is my absolute FAVOURITE thing to write) - watching movies and television with dialogue / characters that you really like honestly really helps - more so than reading, I think, for me. performance is so, so important when i'm writing dialogue. it's not just words, i have to have such a clear picture of how it's being said, ya feel. how the characters are performing it. and so, in that way, it plays out a little bit like a movie in my head, even though there's still a lot of internal monologue in there (the internal monologue i write is often very reliant on visual metaphor too - i'm just - i'm a really visual person, i think.)

all in all i don't think there's any better advice than just DO it. just DO it! and once you've done it once, the second time is easier. and then the next, and then the next. it might help to discuss it with others - do some back-and-forth, or even have proof-readers - (i rarely do, but i also love to overshare all my wips, because i'm a giddy little schoolgirl when i'm knee-deep in my writing.)

if you'd like to spitball ideas or share your writing (particularly in regards to peter parker, my beloved) i'd be happy to help! god speed and good luck, and i hope you'll be putting your beautiful fanfic babies out into the universe for us starving folk to enjoy

[ao3-oner]

hello! I know you've been talking about We Keep Falling Apart AU (which I also love) but would you have any more hcs or snippets you can share for Summoner Id (Your Name on My Lips)? I really really love it! It was so funny but also so heartfelt?? And all the characters and sideships were so great!! Zeus' reaction to "babe" had me on the floor laughing (just like Kanavi), Jihoon and Sanghyeok slowly and slowly being more open with their feelings, Kanavi being an overall boss. I loved it!

Hi, and thanks for the ask!

I'm super glad to hear that you liked Summoner Id! I honestly really like that fic, too - shoutout to my friend who gave me the encouragement I needed to go through with writing it when I was uncertain about whether I should! Like you said, I feel like this fic allowed me to combine a lot of the things I really like to incorporate in my writing - humor, angst, romance - all kind of rolled up into one giant mess, and I'm really glad that it turned out to be such a fun story.

With that said, I didn't really plan out a full AU for it - I know a few people initially assumed it was part of the WKFA universe, but it's not - so when it comes to hcs or snippets I guess I can just think about it now?

I mean, several of my WKFA headcanons still apply to this fic's universe, too - RuLehends were exclusive fwbs during '22, Kanavi-Chovy-Lehends have been besties since Griffin days, etc. - so I suppose the most unique part would be the other side relationships featured in the fic, i.e. the Choker, GuKe and OZ. My thoughts on those can best be described as... situationships. Situationships everywhere. Primarily due to the fact that none of these players can communicate about their emotions for shit.

GuKe (as usual) are the ones who are the most together (other than CanMaker, who did get a subtle nod, but I digress) - like Ruler observes in the fic, they definitely have a couple-esque relationship, and everyone knows they've spoken for each other. They haven't quite put an official label on what they have yet, though, mostly because Keria doesn't really feel the need to, and that has been giving our possessive king Guma a smidge of anxiety. For the most part, they're doing everything a committed couple would do, from the pet names to the physicality to the quality time.

I think that Choker is very much still trying to figure out where they stand with each other - I mean we hear from Faker first-hand in the fic how he's trying to navigate how he feels about Chovy (since he's never really felt this way about anyone before), whereas Chovy openly flirts with him but internally is still very starstruck, very "what do you mean I could actually bag the Lee Sanghyuk". I hc that they first met up for lunch 1-on-1 at Worlds '22, and since then they've discovered that they enjoy each other's company and have been going out for "appointments" together throughout the '23 spring split. It's still very new to both of them, which is exciting, but also kind of terrifying, especially for Sanghyuk, since everyone expects him to be a paragon in all things.

OZ... lmao these nerds... Their current status is Zeus constantly googling "my stupid hot jungler keeps calling me his 'girlfriend' and teasing me and now we're sleeping together... help??" and the only response he's getting is missing pings. Oner thinks they're dating. Zeus thinks that Oner's straight and is just being a bro/fucking with him. Not an ounce of communication is going on. It's a time, but isn't it always.

So, yeah, those are some of my thoughts! Feel free to send another message if there's anything more specific you're curious about - I am always happy to chat.

Thanks again for reaching out, and have a good one!

[goodluckclove]

I have also finished blind trust and oh my gods that had a pull. Thank you for writing this. Reading the whole thing took maybe 5 hours, with small breaks. It was glorious. (slight addendum, adding "child abuse" to the "potential hard topics" list could be helpful to some... i mean, you do notice in pretty much the prologue but still.) I want to hug them all. I want to absorb the idea of a group of people this safe and just - connected. I breathe easier at the inclusion of that rarely seen kind of aroace very intimate, deep, emotional love. And Intersex inclusion. Queer inclusion (i am so curious how that will unfold). Spinny skirts just for the spinny, while still being masculine. Oh my gods. Thank you. I have probably not pulled together all the snippets spread throughout the book for the deeper topics and lore - especially the slight "we"s and internal voices -, but that is okay, i will reread a lot anyway. And if not, maybe the following books will make it clearer. Is the humming language taken from the real world, or your imagination? (thank you to the user I followed that reblogged someone else's review that made me find your book.) Very excited for what is to come, and for continuing to enjoy what is already shared with the world. (Now to figure out goodreads...)

Wow this ask contains some of the most impactful critique I've ever had. Not mean. Just like you mentioned how I missed child abuse as a trigger and I've been thinking about that for two hours.

Because I wracked my brain trying to think about all the potential major triggers. Substance abuse, yes. Mild self harm, even if it's just in one scene. Suicidal ideation. Technically suicidal attempts, but I don't say that because it's through a method that I'm pretty sure is mostly impossible and maybe not even accurate.

I knew Edgar was a victim of child abuse. Like you said, it's stated from the prologue and then written very clearly through implications of his past and an examination of his current character. But in my mind, stating child abuse as a trigger was akin to stating arguments or dream sequences.

Like that's how normalized it was to me. And holy shit, what a self-report that says I'm a child of abuse more than anything else ever has. Fuck.

I don't blame you for this at all and I actually thank you for pointing that out. It's wild.

Also you read it in five hours? That's crazy! Like that's fucking wild!

Also also I am glad you like a femme-masc man in a dress because Scott only gets more feral in book two. I thought he was a waif but it turns out he just needed medical care and a few hot meals, and in Act 3 of Migration Patterns the man is scheming and playing piano and being very dramatic.

Also also a lot of the lore stuff is continued into the rest of the series. It is very much piecemeal though. I intend for the experience of Songbird Elegies to be like working backstage in a theater production. Like something objectively more interesting is happening adjacent to the story, and you're literally in the dark, learning things piecemeal.

But like there's a comfy chair in the green room and your next cue isn't for a few minutes so it's actually pretty chill. That's my vibe.

OH and I made up Tone Speech. I'm very proud of it. It's a fun language and mostly useless you're in a family where most of the people have perfect pitch.

[pickledpascal]

New Perspective

Chapter Six: Lovesick

Warnings: sex jokes, innuendo, otherwise pretty wholesome

Word Count: 4.9k

New Perspective Masterlist

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

As expected, being away from Avery—not being able to touch her—was like hell. She was a few months into her classes, on top of teaching a class in the mornings, when her fall break rolled around in October. On the other hand, Jensen had been doing a bit of voice acting while going into the studio to record a few songs. But he was able to find a break between projects. It just so happened that it was on the same week as Halloween, Avery's fall break. 

avery

@ pickledpascal: if i don't see ANY barbies and kens for halloween this year, i consider our society a failure. 

Jensen flew into Charlotte Douglas International Airport on the last day of Avery's classes. He opted for getting a rental to make a road trip out of going down to Columbia. It was about a two-hour drive away from Charlotte. The car he got was a simple sedan that he planned on giving to the branch down in Columbia. He assumed he wouldn't need it past that. Avery would be driving if they needed to get anywhere that warranted a car. 

Jensen: Touched down in Charlotte. I'm currently in the car so it's alright if you want to call or something when you're free.

The man was suddenly very glad the rental came with a GPS and a stand to put his phone on so he wasn't too distracted while driving. 

avery: cool!! i have a break between classes in like an hour, ill duo you then 

Right, Avery had an android. Which meant she didn't have FaceTime. But Google Duo was compatible with all phone types so it wasn't a big deal. 

Jensen got onto the highway a little after that, listening to some songs Avery recommended for him. Most were not what he was used to. Some Tame Impala, a few Indie rock bands he'd obviously never heard of, the new Fall Out Boy album, and—in her words—Thee Italian rock band, Måneskin. He had to admit that Avery's taste in music was pretty good. 

Halfway through the trip, Avery called. Jensen quickly swiped up on his phone, her face appearing on his screen. She looked like she was walking since the scenery behind her was moving. Avery wore a turtleneck sweater and he could see dark earbuds tucked inside her ears. "Hey." She smiled.

"Hey, sweetheart." Jensen returned the smile as he turned down the music. "Class treating you well?" He asked softly.

Avery looked up past the camera and then glanced back down as she walked. He could hear her faintly take in a breath. "If walking the entire length of campus is well, then sure." She breathed then adjusted the camera so she could show the iced coffee in her hand. "But I got a treat so it's not so bad." 

Jensen let out a hearty laugh, feeling his heart swell already and he wasn't even next to Avery yet. 

"What about you? Excited? We're gonna have the whole weekend to ourselves." Avery winked. Oh, he was excited. While Elena, Mercer, and Jay were probably gonna stay in their house that night, they were all gonna be gone by the morning. Leaving Avery and Jensen all alone. To celebrate Halloween… and only that. 

Jensen's tongue peaked out under his teeth as he thought about whether or not he should say what was on his mind. "I am. I'm glad I get to be with you." He stuck with wholesome. For now.

Out of instinct, Avery joked. "Keep talking like that and I might just have to keep you." 

"I'd like that." 

After a few minutes more of talking, Avery had to go. An advanced writing class that she actually liked. The class would run longer than it would take for Jensen to get there, he just hoped it wouldn't take too long. 

When Jensen broke the Columbia city limits, he felt underwhelmed. When he visited the Carolinas previously, he'd be in Charlotte or Myrtle or Charleston which were mostly developed cities. Not Columbia. Which he thought was weird. This was the capital of the state and it felt like it was in this weird limbo between urban, suburban, and village-like. He counted two buildings taller than ten floors. Jensen tried to not let it bother him, Avery had planned stuff for them to do, he was sure she knew all the good spots around town. 

Avery's house was a simple two-story college house that was just outside campus limits. She was lucky. Jensen had to live in an apartment two miles from his university. He adjusted the strap of his backpack before he pressed the doorbell. He wondered who'd answer the door. Avery hadn't quite specified who'd be home, just that she wouldn't be. Would it be Elena? Mercer? What if it was Jay? This would be the first time they'd met. He wanted to make a good impression.

Sure enough, the door swung open to someone Jensen had never met before. "Uh, hi. You must be Jay. I'm Jensen." He introduced himself, the words stammering out of his mouth. 

Jay nodded, looking the man in front of them up and down. "Yeah. Hi. Come on in." They moved away from the door to let Jensen inside. It was a chilly day, they imagined he'd be cold even in the jacket he was in. 

Jensen stepped inside and was hit with warmth. And a faintly floral smell he couldn't quite make out. It was nice. He glanced around the house just to take in his surroundings. For a college house, it was incredibly well decorated. A nice, large cyan sectional sat in the living room with a fuzzy green blanket draped on one side, the kitchen had a deep wood backsplash and a small island with three stools, the walls had an assortment of colorful posters, and there were a few rustic-looking rugs on the floors. No doubt those were from thrift stores and the like. 

Jay led Jensen upstairs into Avery's room which had a Daredevil poster on the door. "Make yourself at home. Or don't. I don't really care." They shrugged, retreating to their own room. 

Jensen narrowed his eyes a bit then let out a chuckle. Avery warned him how anti-social Jay could appear at first, it took a lot for them to warm up to people. So he set his bag down next to the bed and rolled his suitcase to the corner of the room. Then he absorbed Avery's room. Before this, the most he'd ever seen of her room was her bed frame, her pillows, and a few posters that she hung above her bed. 

Now, he could fully take it in. Her comforter was fluffy and deep blue, her pillows matched. There was an accent blanket on the side of her bed. It was plaid on one side while the other was just gray. An array of colorful shoes were tucked underneath her bed frame. A hefty, but clean, black desk was tucked into one corner with a cup of pens and pencils, a power strip, and a lamp sat on top. Next to her desk were a few plastic-tiered cabinets. He didn't doubt they held more school supplies. She had one nightstand, presumably, on her side of the bed. An assortment of deodorants and perfumes were scattered on the small shelf underneath. Her accordion door closet was opened, revealing the TV that sat on two more, larger plastic cabinets. The walls were covered with different kinds of posters—TV shows, movies, random things she liked—except for the space where the wall met the ceiling, which was reserved for a string of fairy lights.

But something specific caught his eye. Above Avery's desk, a few drawings were attached to the wall. There was one of him. Were those his clothes from a few days ago? He didn't realize Avery was such a good artist as well as a good writer. 

—---

Avery's nerves have been off the charts ever since the morning but they got worse as her classes for the day wound down. She was good at acting like it wasn't getting to her. Most of the time. How the hell was she supposed to act? Her boyfriend, Jensen fucking Ackles, was coming to her house. In a panic, she cleaned her room at one AM earlier that day. 

Her leg bounced as the last few minutes of her last class ticked by. They seemed to be passing slower and slower. Avery checked her watch, biting the inside of her cheek. She was glad she sat in the back or else her professor might have called her out on checking her watch so often. 

"Alright, that's all I got for today. Thanks, everybody." Her professor ended like he did every day.

Avery threw her backpack on and practically ran out of the room, chugging the last few drops of her coffee. She took a breath as she threw the disposable cup in the trash. The brick she walked on felt a little harder than usual. Or maybe she was overthinking everything. She had her moments. 

Thankfully her last class wasn't too far away from her house so it only took a few minutes to get there. She took a breath as she unlocked the door and made her way to her room. She cracked it open to see Jensen sitting on her bed. Reading her book. He glanced at her from the top of a page, marked his spot, and set it beside his hip. 

Avery carefully set her bag next to Jensen's and leaned over him to press a kiss to his lips. Hello. Jensen pulled her close as he deepened the kiss, causing her to fall into his lap. I missed you. She set a hand on his shoulder and squeezed softly. Me too. 

"I love you." Avery whispered against his lips, admiring the freckles on his face before she rolled over and fully let some sense of comfort wash over her. 

Jensen chuckled, propping his head up with a hand as he looked at Avery. He would never get over her saying that. "I love you too." He brushed a few hairs away from her face, earning him a pleased smile. "Midterms go well?" 

Avery groaned. "I don't want to talk about school." 

"Note taken." Jensen had to resist the urge to smile. "How about… Halloween?" 

That was the right thing to say. Avery's eyes brightened. "Barbie and Ken! I can't fucking wait. You did get your costume, right?" Instead of simply getting one online, Jensen decided he'd get one of his friends to make him a specifically tailored costume. Because of course, he had a friend that was an expert in costume design. 

"Course I did." Jensen rolled his eyes.

"Nice." Avery hummed. "How's the book?" She asked, eyes glancing down at the book on the other side of Jensen. 

"Good. Except for the parts where you pointed out who the killer is." Jensen admitted, amused. He had a few good laughs at the notes Avery was able to fit in the margins or the lines she highlighted. 

Avery huffed. "I'm saving you the trouble, you never would've guessed it."

"Isn't that all the fun for reading mystery novels? That the ending surprises you?" Jensen argued with a smile.

Avery shrugged, choosing not to say anything further. About that, at least. She just lied there for a while. Jensen breathed her into his life yet again. He didn't want this feeling, he didn't want to say goodbye to Avery again. But he would have to leave. Go home, film some project somewhere else in the world. He wondered what housing prices were like in Columbia. Not that he'd complain, he had the money. 

Jensen just wanted Avery. He didn't want calls every day or texts between shoots. He wanted her. With him. In every aspect of his life as well as hers. For a moment, he wondered if he'd be allowed in her classes. Probably, if the classes were big enough but then people—young adults—would recognize him more likely than not. Hell, Avery even warned him about coming to her house. She lived in a college town after all. There was a hoard of horny people her age at every turn. 

Jensen was pulled from his thoughts when Avery ran her thumb across his chin. "There's a little indent here, did you know that?" She stared at the small scar on his chin intently. It was an inch or so under the side of his lip and ran along where his facial hair grew.

"Yeah." He murmured, appreciating the feel of her touch on his face. "Don't remember how it got there though." 

Avery moved her hand to tilt Jensen's head more towards her, thumb caressing the freckles on his cheek. It seemed he had a countless amount, they were more faint than her friends but still noticeable. Adjusting his position, Jensen's knee slotted in between Avery's legs causing her to draw in a breath. They were close enough that Jensen could feel it on his face. It was like a soft breeze, though slightly warm. 

"You're so…" Avery moved her thumb to rest underneath Jensen's bottom lip. "Beautiful." That seemed to be the right word. There wasn't anything else that seemed to encompass Jensen. 

Jensen felt his face heat. Avery liked to call him hot all the time and he started to get used to it but being called beautiful? That was a whole nother feeling. "You really know how to make a guy blush." He pulled Avery closer so their bodies were flush against each other. 

"It's a talent." Avery teased, adjusting her glasses. They seemed to slip at the wrong times. 

With a soft knock on the door, Elena peeked her head inside. "What's up?" Avery and Jensen stared at her. "Mercer said he's getting us celebratory McDonald's and he's gonna be here in like ten minutes so don't still be kissin' or you're getting nothing." She left the door ajar as she made her way downstairs. 

Avery shot up, closely following Elena. Jensen sighed as he let his head fall onto the bed. Food was his biggest enemy when it came to Avery. She'd do anything for it. But he couldn't exactly blame her. If he had to go through the grueling process that was college midterms, then he'd want to gorge himself on a quarter pounder too. Jensen actually might've, he just didn't remember. 

"I think it's been years since I actually had McDonald's." Jay admitted as Jensen finally made it downstairs. Mercer still wasn't there yet. "I don't really eat fast food to begin with." 

Elena gave them a look of disbelief. "Unless it's Wendy's." 

"Unless it's Wendy's." Jay nodded with a shrug. 

"Wendy's is so damn good." Avery commented. "Their chicken nuggets are superior."

The three of them were sitting on the couch, assumedly where they'd be eating since they didn't exactly have a table. There was a coffee table and an island but it wasn't the same. 

Avery glanced at Jensen standing awkwardly by the stairs. She stood up and went over to him. "Want anything to drink? I mean, we don't have a big selection. Water, coffee, chocolate milk…" She glanced away from him for a moment. "Actually, I think we still have some cans of Cosmic Cowboy." She was the only one in the house that drank alcohol, even then, she wouldn't drink often. 

Jensen's eyes lit up but he ultimately turned it down. "I'd rather be sober tonight so water would be great." 

Avery nodded, "Grab a seat, I'll get you a glass." She rubbed his arm slightly as she brushed past him to get into the kitchen. 

As Jensen sat on the couch, he strangely felt like this was the moment he was supposed to impress the father or something. Except he knew how Avery felt about her father. Her biological one, at least. It wasn't pretty. So why did he feel like this? Jensen was the oldest one there. Oh. It was Jay. They were staring at him as they took a sip from their water bottle. That was unsettling. Jensen was waiting for the line of 'so what makes you a good fit for my daughter?' But it never came. 

Avery sat next to Jensen and handed him a blue glass filled with water. The cold liquid was just what he needed. 

"So, are you down with getting pegged?" Jay asked nonchalantly.

Jensen choked on his water, lifting a hand to his mouth to try and catch it as it spilled onto his jeans. "Jay, what the fuck?" Avery yelled. She wasn't mad, in fact, Jensen heard the amusement in her voice. Elena wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

"What? I think it's a very valid question given… well, you." Jay pointed out. 

"What the hell did I walk in on?" Mercer announced his presence very eloquently. His arms were filled with two large bags of burgers and fries. 

Avery sighed, scratching her eyebrow. "I'll go get paper towels." She retreated to the kitchen and grabbed the whole roll, wiping down their floors as she handed a few to Jensen. 

Elena answered Mercer, "Jay was being weird as hell."

"Oh, so like they normally are." Mercer commented as he set the bags on the coffee table and shouldered off his backpack. He went straight from class to get the food. He sat on the floor, taking out the wrapped burgers.

"Yeah." Elena mumbled. 

Jay didn't feel sorry. They probably never would. It was hilarious.

"Sorry about that. Probably should've warned you about Jay. Their humor can be quite interesting." Avery sighed, throwing away a few paper towel balls. Jensen followed her to the kitchen as he wiped his face. 

He ran a damp hand through his hair. It was weirdly soothing, the coolness of it. "You're fine, sweetheart. Just wasn't expecting that." Jensen leaned against the counters while Avery poured herself some fruit punch. He pursed his lips in thought. 

Jay actually brought up a really good question. Did Jensen care about what was in Avery's pants? At first, it was a little easier to forget about. But then they kept getting closer and closer to being intimate. Jensen could feel her bulge against his leg and it froze his brain for a second. He hadn't had to deal with that before. Every partner he had, he knew what he was dealing with. 

"I don't mind." Jensen eventually said.

Avery took a sip of her drink. "Mind what?" It was as if the past few minutes already slipped her mind.

"Getting pegged." 

Avery had to set her glass down in order to really take in the information. "Okay," She said carefully. "If you're saying that just to please me then—"

"I'm not." Jensen clarified, glancing back at the other college kids who were blissfully distracted by eating. "You're my girl. If—when—we have sex, I want you. Every part of you. And if you want to fuck me, well, who am I to say no to that?" 

That was one of the most weirdly heartfelt things Avery had ever heard. She took a deep breath to stop herself from tearing up. A lot of the straight men she'd been with ran for the hills when they found out she was trans. Others treated her like a sex object, a fetish. But Jensen wasn't like that at all. He cared about her. Loved her. Made her feel loved. 

"I'm hungry." Avery murmured. 

Jensen gave her a soft smile. "Okay." 

The pair made their way back to the couch, each grabbing a burger from the pile. Avery took a bite and immediately felt better even though her heart was still beating a mile a minute. 

Jensen picked off the pickles from his burger before he took a bite, causing everyone to stare at him. "What?" He glanced at their faces.

"You're in love with a pickle hater?" Elena looked at Avery. 

Mercer chuckled. "He's gonna turn into a pickle lover." Reasonably, Avery threw a pillow right in his face. 

Dinner was… mostly calm after that. Besides a few jokes that Jensen didn't quite understand how they were so funny. 

One being: Mercer? I hardly know her!

He knew of the format, of course he did, it wasn't like it was new. But the way it had the room bursting out into laughter was something. He just sat back and watched most of their interactions. Avery's friend group was interesting, that's for sure. 

Avery and Jensen went upstairs as the night went on. She went to the bathroom to change and brush her teeth which left Jensen alone yet again. He stripped down to his boxers, getting in bed. He already had his turn in the bathroom. The frame creaked under his weight. The smell of her sheets was overwhelmingly Avery. Citrus, vanilla, a hint of pine, and something Jensen could only describe as bourbon-esque—it wasn't as strong as the real scent. 

Avery returned to her room, taking in the sight of Jensen in her bed. He looked so cozy, wrapped around in her blankets. She got in bed next to him before setting her glasses on her nightstand. Jensen cuddled up next to her. 

"You're like a big ass panda." Avery hummed, pressing a kiss to Jensen's temple. She didn't mind his teddy bear tendencies. It was more of a statement than anything. 

Jensen leaned into her lips. He wanted to savor the feeling. "And?" 

"And nothing. You're adorable." Avery chuckled. 

"Really? I thought I was hot." Jensen countered with an amused grin. 

Avery nudged him slightly, letting out a scoff. "Who said you couldn't be both? Now come on, I wanna sleep." She grumbled. Jensen pressed against Avery, draping an arm on her stomach. He knew she liked the closeness, especially while she was asleep. He liked it too. 

Being in bed with each other felt right. Jensen hadn't had a good night's sleep in a couple weeks. He'd toss and turn, wake up in the middle of the night and just stare at the dark ceiling. Avery was his comforting presence. She was able to soothe whatever thing inside him that kept him awake. 

As Jensen woke up the next day, he realized Avery was nowhere to be found. Her side of the bed was empty. He grunted lowly as he sat up, scratching his head slightly. That's when he registered the smell of cooking eggs. And muffled music. He creaked the door open.

Once you get me piped up, baby, I won't stop

Was that Beyoncé? Jensen descended the stairs. There was a speaker on the counters while Avery rolled her hips in front of the stove, two plates off to the side. She was making omelets.

Uh, I won't stop 'til you say you had enough

Jensen hoped Avery's roommates were already gone.

Ride it like a rodeo when I'm on top

He just watched her for a few minutes. The way she looked so carefree, flipping the forming omelet onto the plate like an expert chef. She sprinkled a bit of green onion on both plates, her tongue stuck out from between her lips. 

"I would've gotten up earlier if it meant I would get this." Jensen finally made his presence known.

Avery jumped slightly, turning to the sound of his voice. "Woah." She'd seen him practically naked before. It was still a sight to behold, however, this was different. Something about his hair made him look absolutely wrecked, it was sticking up in all different directions. "Um, I made breakfast. My roomies are gone so… yeah." She swallowed, offering Jensen a plate.

They retreated to the couch to eat. Jensen used his fork to cut off a piece of egg and lifted it to his mouth. He hadn't had the pleasure of having Avery's food yet and he was suddenly very disappointed it took this long. It was delicious. The eggs almost melted on his tongue. How the hell could she get even more perfect?

"Do you cook a lot?" Jensen asked as he shoveled another forkful into his mouth. 

Avery had an amused look in her eyes as she watched Jensen, taking bites of her own food. "Most nights. Unless I'm physically hurt." Jensen cocked an eyebrow at that. "I've burned my hand a few times, trying to pull a homemade pizza out of the oven. Elena babied me for a few days." She laughed. 

So that's what the scar on the back of her hand was from. 

The pair finished their plates, putting them in the dishwasher before they went up to her room. Avery admitted she didn't exactly have any plans for that day so they could just lounge around and be a bit lazy together. That sounded nice to Jensen. He decided he was gonna read the last few chapters of the book he stole from Avery while she scrolled through TikToks, occasionally glancing at the assignments she needed to get started on after Fall break ended. 

Jensen pursed his lips as he closed the book. Avery noticed, glancing up at him as she let her phone fall on her stomach. "What'd ya think?" 

"It was… interesting." Jensen chose his words carefully. Not because he wanted to hurt Avery's feelings—it was her favorite book series—but because he wasn't sure how to feel. About the story, at least. "I liked the characters. Peter and Clara are like a few people I know. I like how their relationship contrasts with Gamache and Reine-Marie. They're very honest with each other whereas Peter and Clara are much more… dysfunctional." 

Avery hummed. She had never thought too in-depth about the book and the characters' relationships with each other; she was far more interested in the mystery itself and how Armand went about uncovering it.

Jensen glanced at one of Avery's shelves. The whole series was sorted in order, complemented by a silver bookend to stop them from falling down. 

"I think you mean to say realistic." Avery chuckled. "Clara says she's fine but she's not and she wants Peter to be sympathetic but he's not and that just makes her more mad." She explained with a small motion of her hand. 

Jensen nodded with a small smile. "Does that make us Armand and Reine-Marie?" 

Avery thought about it. She and Jensen were both pretty honest about their feelings, especially when it came to each other. She trusted him enough to say the first thing that came to her mind. "Yeah… I guess so. Maybe a little off. They're like the ideal relationship." 

"I'd say our relationship is pretty ideal." Jensen countered softly.

Avery cocked an eyebrow. "Except for the part where we don't see each other that often." 

Yeah. There was that. 

Jensen swallowed. "I want to change that." Avery's eyebrows furrowed. "I think… It would be nice if I got an apartment here or something. Maybe somewhere a little outside the city." He didn't want to take housing away from the college kids who needed it much more than he did. 

Avery blinked, showing the surprise on her face. "Oh." It was the only thing she could muster. How could she say anything else? Jensen wanted to move just to be near her. It made her chest feel warm. 

"I love you." Jensen whispered, taking in the features of her face as if it was the first time again. "I want to be near you as much as I possibly can. I want…" He breathed, "I want to take you everywhere I go. If you're able to. I want you." He could imagine taking Avery to set, seeing her bewilderment with the sets, costumes, camera work. He knew she loved the inner workings of how a film was made. 

Avery bit the inside of her cheek, seemingly getting lost in what she did or did not want to say. In what she did or did not want to do. "I need you to stop saying things are going to make me cry." She rubbed her hands down her face. 

Jensen pressed a kiss to her cheek then tilted her chin towards him. "Can't help myself, unfortunately."

"Lucky for me." Avery sighed.

Jensen's lips formed a soft smile. "Lucky for me." He leaned forward and gently pressed their lips together. 

The kiss was far more tender than their previous ones. There was no underlying need underneath it. Just an overwhelming feeling of love that made Avery's brain reel, like the chemistry in her neurons completely changed. She couldn't have cared less if it did. 

"Sometimes I think you're insane." Avery mumbled.

Jensen glanced from Avery's lips to her eyes. "Why?"

"For liking me so much." She admitted softly. She felt a bit weird. She liked Jensen for years without him ever knowing of her existence yet now that he did, he loved her. Loved her so much that it made her feel dizzy sometimes.

Jensen pursed his lips. He didn't understand how anyone could not like her. "You're a pretty cool person. Who I met at the right time, right place. I think that's a pretty sane thing." 

Avery's lips formed into a lop-sided smile. "Probably." 

"Probably?" Jensen asked.

"You said you'd let me peg you." Avery shrugged.

Jensen rolled his eyes. "I think I would be insane if I didn't. Actually, I'll do you one better," He wrapped a hand around Avery's waist, pulling her into his lap. She set her hands on his shoulder as she awaited the rest of his point. "I've been told I could give pretty good head."

"Fuck off." Avery laughed. Though, her heart pulsed faster. Would he–? No. No…

No.

-----

taglist: @nancymcl

taglist form here !!!

[narrators-journal]

How does one delete an ask cuz that’s so embarrassing for me bru😭 MY BAD I didn’t see the ship thing, can you do Illumi/Hisoka car sex THANK YOU and sorry for my dumbass ask ‼️

This is one of the reasons I like kinktober. It gives me fun practice, and I get to write for characters I’m not super experienced with anymore! So, while I don’t ship Hisollumi or am very into hunter x hunter anymore, I still had some fun writing this! I appreciate any ask, so don’t feel bad for making a mistake! and I hope you enjoy this little scenario, I tried to keep them in character lol

Kinktober prompt list: Here

Kinktober Masterlist: Here

CW: An attempt at car sex lol, Illumi's a bit of an asshole

Even to those looking at Illumi’s SUV, it was evident what the assassin was doing. And that was assuming they couldn’t hear Hisoka’s raunchy, porn-volume moaning in the dark parking lot.

But, the assassin wasn’t really bothered with what a passerby saw, or the pink-haired maniac’s noises. The windows were tinted, after all, and he’d made sure that the shadow-filled parking lot they’d settled on for his ‘half of the deal’ was secluded enough that the long haired assassin wouldn’t get caught. So, he let Hisoka yowl like a cat in heat if it got him off faster.

Only focusing on pounding him into the headrest of the pushed back seat. Keeping him in place with a firm hold on his hips, mostly to stop the clown from moving his hips when Illumi didn’t want him to, but also to keep himself from losing balance as the car swayed. “You’re so good at this, Illumi,” the disheveled murderer chuckled breathlessly, moaning loudly to emphasize his point before adding, “We should...do this again sometime~” “No.” Was the simple answer the deadpan assassin gave, adjusting his angle to thrust deeper into Hisoka. Washing away any further attempts to talk. Clawing into the tall man’s hips as he internally pushed down the zip of his own excitement that threatened to mix into his blood.

This is just part of a deal. A payment for help given. Illumi reminded himself, stomping out each and every zing of lust that Hisoka’s loud moans, or the friction of his movements gave. Hisoka is a handsome man, but I refuse to entertain anything anywhere near ‘romantic’ about him. I only enjoy this on a purely stimulation level. Yet, the sight of Hisoka’s colorful hair fallen out of it’s usual, slicked-back style, and seeing the way he clawed into the seat back he laid on undoubtedly tempted the assassin. And, seeing how his body shuddered and squirmed in desperation for more under him, was...Annoying attractive..

However, that thought was waved off. The ebony-haired man had to focus on what he was doing, not what he felt. Feelings were nothing but a hinderance, after all, and this ellicit meet up was a one time thing. I am a Zoldyck, I’ve had sex for favors before. This is nothing but to get Hisoka off my ass. Illumi reiterated to himself, taking a steadying breath when he realized his head was beginning to swim. But, that did little to entirely vanquish the lewd thrill Illumi got from the friction he got from each harsh thrust into the perverted clown’s ass, and the sight of the scars covering Hisoka’s strong back. Revealed when he’d tossed his clothes ahead of them into the trunk area of the car.

The mixture of stimulation couldn’t be denied, at least. Drawing out a few small moans from the assassin when the blissful warmth managed to get to his head. The thrill of sneaking around for this meet up and the sight of a pretty man moaning and whining from the pleasure his harsh thrusts gave slipping out of his hold until his thrusts grew more frantic and uncoordinated. The pleasure slowly seeping through the cold man’s emotionless mask despite his best attempts to quell the swirl of heat under his skin. Only to lose the fight and stutter to a halt buried in Hisoka. Grunting slightly as the pleasure he’d been ignoring washed over him entirely. Soon followed by the pink-haired man’s own dramatic moan at his own climax before a peaceful few moments of silence passed between them. The car stilled, nothing in the air but the scent of sex and the sounds of the duo recollecting themselves. “Well...that was fun.” The clown breathed, grinning back at Illumi as the ebony-haired assassin pulled out of him to clean himself up. “Please get out of my car.” Was the sterile response he got, all signs of lust in the depths of the Zoldyck’s bottomless eyes instantly gone. “How cold!” Hisoka whined, rolling over with a show of his flexibility to lay dramatically on his back atop the pushed-down car seat, making the assassin roll his dark eyes. “I kept my half of our deal, get dressed and get out.” He reiterated, getting a responding eye roll as he moved over in the back seat to pull his pants up.

Getting the message that the fun was over, the clown sat up and found his clothing in the trunk area of the SUV, while Illumi bottled up any stray feelings that escaped his control. They still lingered in the air as his companion got out and fixed the seat while the assassin climbed back into the driver's seat to go home. However, Hisoka did stop him from shutting the door long enough to say in a playful sort of pout, just to mess with the dead-eyed man “How can you be so cold after such a passionate moment? Do you hate me that much?” “I don’t hate you,” Illumi said calmly, “But I held up my end of the bargain, that was it.” The assassin pointed out, making the clown snort, “Ouch, Illumi. Ouch.”

With that, Illumi pulled his door shut and started the car. Leaving Hisoka in the secluded parking lot with barely a glance back to indulge the feelings the murderer had stirred up.

[tolbachik]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers <3

Hi Zia!! Thank you so much for the ask, I'm really excited to share my answers here! It was real hard to pick, but I had fun!!

5 - My girlfriend!! We met on tumblr years ago when I was looking for an artist to commission, and found out she lived real close by! We became friends, and then it all just kinda snowballed from there really. We really enjoy each other's company, and usually call once a day at night before bed to spend a little time together! She means a lot to me, and I'm really happy to have met her! I really love her, she means the world to me, and I always do my best to make sure she knows that. y'know what she's asleep right now but I'm gonna message her and tell her how much she means to me thank you for making me think about her

4 - My family! My sister especially; we're very close, and love to do pretty much everything together. I usually watch her play games on some of her consoles, maybe we'll watch shows together, all kinds of stuff. She's always been there for me and helped me be the person I am today, so I really appreciate her and all she's done for me! This also includes my cats. Me and my sister jointly own three cats; Quinn, the oldest (and my profile picture), Binky (looks just like Quinn but smaller), and Leon (typical white and orange cat). They all mean a lot to me! I try not to take their companionship for granted, even if they wake me up at all hours of the night lol

3 - Space & space exploration! Really, mostly just in our own solar system. And for the exploration part, just stuff from the 70s-80s and concepts from then. I really love the optimism of the 70s, and all they had thought we would achieve by now. And honestly, a lot of concepts developed around that time still hold up to this day; O'Neill cylinders, space-based solar power, maglev-based launchers, stuff like that! I really hope someday we can get rid of these capitalist chains and focus on making the world and universe a brighter place. I'm a firm believer that we're here to spread the gift of life as far as possible, allowing for as many beings as possible to enjoy the experience of… well, being. Life is very precious, and I fully believe that the exploitation and development of space is something we need to do in order to help bring the gift of life to as many worlds as possible. That being said, I hate Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and every single astrocapitalist asshole who dreams of turning the stars into nothing but lifeless ash with a burning passion. I hope they all choke. Also, my favorite objects in our solar system are Uranus and her moons, and Venus lol

2 - Music! I know it gets said a lot, but music is a very important thing for me. I don't listen as much as I used to, but I still try to as much as I can. I usually listen to stuff only from the 1960s-1990s, but I do branch out every now and again! I really love folk music from the earlier part of that time frame, with musicians like Norma Tanega, Emitt Rhodes, Jim Sullivan, and more taking up a large amount of my favorites there. I also really like international music, especially Soviet stuff! It's so interesting to hear the different melodies and instruments, as well as singing styles. It's such a neat crossroad of cultures, there was so much interesting & beautiful sounding stuff! It's a shame that it's largely ignored over here in the west.

Also, I'm currently on a big Telex kick right now, though! They were a Belgian band from the late 70s into the 80s, and made music that was synthesizer only. I've liked them for quite some time, but it's just kinda coming back full force right now! On top of that, I will admit... Sometimes autism gets the better of me and I can and will listen to a song dozens of time in a row lol.

1 - My book series I'm writing and developing! I really don't like to talk about it (shy + nervous), but it means a lot to me. I'm chronically ill and can't really do too much, so writing has been one of the only things I can do when I get the energy. Even then, progress is far and few between, but it's better than nothing! Long story short, it's a hard sci-fi novel series about an alien race's journey in exploring their world, system, and beyond. Despite being about space exploration and first contact between them and us, it's more about love, friendship, and finding your own place in the universe than it is about war, action, or anything like that. I wanted to write this because I was tired of the typical "woahhh aliens are invading..." type of thing; I wanted something more about understanding and kindness, rather than about hatred and fear.

I've got like... 7 books total planned, with three of those being "prologues" but still like +70k words each. It's a long, arduous process, but it's something that I'm proud of and happy to do. I honestly don't know what my long term plans are for it, if I'll publish it or not. If I do, I'll probably make sure I have at least two of the other books done first, that way I have time to let myself work on the others at my own pace. I do love talking about it, but more likely in private than on my public blog; I'm incredibly shy lol

Thank you so much for this ask, it was a lot of fun! I'll be sure to spread it to some of my friends here, then. I really appreciated this!

Take care, and have a good rest of your day!!!

[writingbyricochet]

Writer Q&A Tag Game

Thank you so much @mthollowell-writes for the tag! I loved reading your answers and this was fun to fill out :)

1) What motivates you to write?

Mostly my mind cannot stop thinking of Situations. Whether they're for characters from my current TV/film hyperfixations or my own OCs, writing is the best way for me to get it out of my system and the artistic form I'm the best at.

2) A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

From Where Paradise Died and Lived:

Sophie was just about draw her hand away, and perhaps he felt the pressure lessening, for then he brought his own hand up to cover hers, to keep her from moving it. He held her hand there, his fingers curling just barely under hers, not with any force but with a lightness she had just been administering to him. And underneath it, a reassurance that seemed to communicate he wanted something that quickened her heart. She knew if she proceeded here, she would be crossing a line she had thought she wouldn’t cross for a long time yet. She finally raised her gaze to meet his, and all sense escaped her—his eyes looked like the way she felt, all the encouragement she needed. A little bit scared, a little bit in love, she kissed him.

3) Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

Honestly, I haven't gotten to write a lot of him yet, but I have a soft spot for Fendley. He believes passionately in the Velitovan cause and wants to fight for its independence...but he's also the biggest homebody and hates being away from Merity. The two parts of his personality are just direct contradictions to each other, it makes me laugh.

4) What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

Character building: creating a backstory, personality, aesthetic, all that good stuff

5) What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Describing inner turmoil? When I look at the passages I'm most proud of, they all have to do with an internal dialogue of some kind, usually in a situation with heightened tension or vulnerability where a character has a lot going on in their mind.

6) What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

Making friends with everyone! The support system is a huge motivator and definitely something that keeps me going.

7) A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

Scrivener, my beloved. I was working in Evernote for way longer than I ever should have and was getting just so sick of it that I finally took the plunge to get Scrivener. Night and day comparison. There are so many great tools and functions and I love being able to have one document for a WIP and its outline, characters, worldbuilding, everything. It's definitely pricey up front, but in the long run worth it since it's just a one-time purchase. Highly recommend giving it a trial run to anyone interested.

8) A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

I really love the country of Velitova, especially the lands beyond the Idylwild. In-universe they're written off as being sort of rural, but the nature out there is so beautiful and pristine. Huge rolling hills, a huge lake surrounded by flowering trees, cliffs facing a wild ocean...yes.

9) What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Stop writing: Whether it's a for a few days or a few months, taking a break from my WIPs and re-setting my mind whenever I am struggling is always the best solution.

Return to worldbuilding: I've seen a lot of people discuss how we get desensitized to the cool things in our WIPs after a while. Creating more cool things that will be new to me as well often makes my WIP exciting again.

Get outside: Traveling always inspires me, but I find even walking around your neighborhood can be so helpful! I especially walking among trees in the fall, that air of melancholy during that time of year just gets me.

10) Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters

Love to @sugar-phoenix, @macabremoons, @orphicpoieses @awordchemist @moonlitinks (all of whom should take this as a gentle tag to answer the Q&A yourself!), and special shout out to my IRL best friend @canofpeaches who always goes feral whenever I send her a WPDL snippet (hope you did not combust reading the one above) <3

[lys-lilac]

[RMD] Toshiki Kasumi x MC: Her Jealousy (oneshot)

I don’t know how I get such crazy ideas (of course you will get those thanks to the numerous jealousy stories of the boys) so bear with me haha~ Also, I tried writing this in diary format, so let me know if you like it!

[A/N: All the characters belong to Voltage Inc. Only the story plot is a work of mine.]

══════⊹⊱≼≽⊰⊹══════

MC’s Diary

~4 pm~

This was any of the other normal day in the EICU office. This would have been if not for the exchange which was occuring in front of my eyes. 

Sometimes I myself think about how much weird I am when it comes to mangas, Sekai and medical knowledge. But the current emotion I am having can be counted in the general list right?

It had been several days since the new academic year started. Which meant classes for young interns and med students has already resumed in the Seimei University Hospital. Looking at the enthusiasm and excitement about gaining new knowledge in the field of medicine all over the university fills me with a sense of nostalgia. The scene of me running with medical journals, asking various questions to the professors is still fresh in my mind.

But a new academic year means various responsibilities, especially to me since Dr. Kasumi has gotten busier taking lectures in the university along with performing surgeries and attending meetings as well. Our schedules have become so much mismatched that we can’t even clock out together. Kasumi would mostly stay at the hospital, and even at home, we can’t see each other much. The only time we are together is in the operation theatre performing surgeries. I can’t blame the situation though, but yes, it makes me feel lonelier these days.

Kasumi’s office and even the EICU sometimes becomes a center of chaos with the amount of new students barging in to submit assignments or ask questions. Even though Matsunaga set a particular time of the day for these upon Directors’ request, the crowd wouldn’t dissipate that fast. Only Dr. Takado’s scolding and Dr. Kyogoku’s evil stare does the trick. Sensing the direness of the situation, I mostly devote myself to studies in the library or assist Dr. Tsuchiya and others in surgeries. 

Now, coming back to the situation in hand, I went to the lecture hall after completing a surgery to invite Kasumi for lunch, only to see many female students gathered around him. It seemed like he was explaining a particular topic. As I decided to pry in what he was teaching, an uneasy feeling crept to my heart. Even though my craze for understanding the topic was large, the close proximity of the girls with him, his professional gaze radiating through those glasses, and the prominent blushes on those girls’ cheeks made me recede my steps.I know I was the same in my classes as well, but I didn’t know it will make me feel weird. Hoping to at least get a beef bowl from the hospital cafeteria, I returned with subtle pangs in my heart.

Oh common, WHO IN THE WORLD GETS HUNGOVER FROM SUCH A TRIVIAL MATTER?! My idiotic expressions were able to catch the attention of the docs later. I was very glad they tried to cheer me up in their own ways, whether it was Dr. Takado giving me his limited ramen, Dr. Ekuni his sweet treats, Dr. Hosho rewarding me with a latte after surgery or Dr. Kyogoku bickering a little less than usual, it still went in vain. Due to this, I even ruined my conversation with Kasumi when he asked me to grab dinner in the evening. Now that I think about it, the audacity of me to ignore his attempts to talk and even excuse myself saying I already had plans?! JUST UNFORGIVABLE. Dear Sekai, I would have needed your comfort but I think I need something else. My internal monologues with you are not helping at all T-T

I thought maybe ignoring him could let my uneasiness end, but that was not the case. It became even worse. Now thanks to me everyone thinks I have gotten into a fight with him.

~10 pm~

Let’s just admit today was not my day. I had made up my mind to be on call tonight, but got driven away by Dr. Takado UGH. I also talked with Asuka about this, and she said me to figure it out myself with a giggle on her face. Although that reassured me that it’s nothing serious, still my mind working like this is killing my productivity and distracting me. 

Let’s just admit, I think I am a LITTLE jealous of those girls. Wait. Wait wait wait. WHY DO I SOUND LIKE A CREEP NOW?! ( : ౦ ‸ ౦ : )

Does this mean I am obsessed with Kasumi or what? To that extent that I am unable to continue my daily activities? Do I... Do I crave physical touch? UGH SOMEONE SLAP ME   ლ(¯ロ¯"ლ)

Anyway, I don’t think he will be back home tonight as well? I made some curry just in case, but oh well. If he’s having dinner with his stude- GAHHH STOP!!!

I will just pull an all-nighter and study! I am pretty sure that will help me to distract my mind from having these absurd thoughts. Let’s hope Dr. Kyogoku cools down tomorrow otherwise I.... zzz.

P.S. (the next morning) ~6:00~ 

I just arrived at the hospital with Kasumi (he came home yesterday yayyyyyyy  。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。 ) and more importantly, I am relieved he got some sleep. I am so so glad I made curry yesterday for him! Although he seems to be in a good mood today? I remember falling asleep on the couch writing yesterday’s events but today I found myself on our bed with him. Aside from sleeping like a log, I don’t remember anything else? Was I making a funny face? Drooling? Perhaps was in an Egyptian position while sleeping? He kissed my forehead at the parking lot and even though he changed into his professional outlook, I could still see his shoulders shaking as if he was laughing. Dr. Kyogoku’s worry from yesterday has turned into wrath with twice the intensity.

Haahh, seems like there’s a new mystery to solve now  ┐(︶▽︶)┌

[stealthnoodle]

I'd love to hear more about your fic Cross Contamination. I read it after I wrote my contagion series and thought it was neat how we kind of explored a lot of the same things about the Bakurae but still came with different perspectives. What was some of the inspiration? The writing style was absolutely A+++.

Thank you! My brain has so many bits of Bakurae headcanon stuffed into it (actual canon has so much room for interpretation that I can't help myself), and Cross-Contamination was sort of me making a collage out of it all! The way that the various Bakurae pieces interact in the Memory World arc is fucking wild, with the bit of YB that was sealed into the Puzzle bowing to Zorked!Akhenaden being my personal "sir how do you WORK" moment. Tfw when you have internal hierarchies of yourself, by yourself, for yourself. It's also always been very interesting to me that TKB's quest to avenge Kul Elna ends up entangling him with the entity that needed the Millennium Items to be created in order for it to exist in the world. Classic "uh-oh babygirl you played yourself."

So I like that idea that Yami Bakura being a muddle of Zork and Thief King Bakura creates a fundamentally conflicted entity that wakes up functional and cohesive after a few millennia of stewing in the Ring, then starts to fracture as those component pieces regain their memories and senses of self. There's sure something going on with reincarnation in this series, and in the cases of Yuugi and Ryou Bakura, I like to think it's the result of most of the pieces of their souls getting sealed into Millennial Items, but not all of them, and then some pretty intense resonance when the bits that got reincarnated come into contact with the bits that got sealed. This is mostly because I really like the idea of the TKB portion of YB eventually puzzling some of the situation out, and it adds a little extra flavor to the way that YB uses himself as a tool--not just because Zork thinks of YB as just another piece of itself that is disposable once it serves its purpose, but also because TKB would be more than happy to destroy the entity he constitutes half of in pursuit of his revenge.

Anyway, we get to see the influence that Yuugi has on YY over the course of series (ilu, gleefully violent vengeance gremlin era), and I think there's a lot of fun to be had with Ryou Bakura being enmeshed in his own weirder way with the TKB part of YB. The parallels are pretty intense!

Style-wise, I've written several short fics that play around with a narrator struggling to stay fixed in time, so upgrading that to a narrator struggling to stay fixed in identity was a blast, especially when the various identities actively fight each other. Executive dysfunction, but make it a contact sport.

I still need to read your Contagion series (my Marked for Later list is... out of control, and this summer is kicking the ass of my free time), but I am VERY excited to see how you tackle the Bakurae situation! They're a fucking disaster and I love them.