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mountainsandmayhem · 2 days ago

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BDSMaid - Chapter 9

Series Summary: In order to save money for law school, you accept a job working as a maid for high end clients. You aren’t supposed to know whose home you’re cleaning, but your curiosity is peaked by your first client, and when the two of you have a shocking and surprising run in more than just your curiosity peaks. Word Count: 5k CW: see small red lettering below the cut AN: I'm going to miss them!! I'm absolutely heartbroken that I'm done, but so fucking proud of myself for what I've created. Thank you to @lotusbxtch for being my beta from pretty much the very beginning. I am so grateful to you and so honoured (yes, with a u because I'm Canadian lol) to call you my friend. Also little shoutouts to @for-a-longlongtime, @alltheirdamn, @mermaidgirl30 and @littlevenicebitch69 for listening to me go on about them for 80% of 2024. As always, graphics and dividers by @saradika-graphics

My Masterlist || Series Masterlist

TW: unprotected p in v, one spank, multiple orgasms and Overstim hinted at, pining, heartbreak

Eight Months Later

Joel

“I got yelled at by a feisty brunette last night at that gala,” Tommy says as the two of them sip whiskey at the bar of the club.

“Probably deserved it.” Joel deadpans and closes the folder of invoices he’s looking over.

He should be doing this in his fancy, and newly renovated, office across the street. He was in the large office for all of three minutes the day after you left when he could only see the ghost of you. From the chair you sat in when you first asked him to teach you how to be a sub, to the door he pinned you against and confessed how out of his mind he was over you, everything was you, and it had to go if he had any chance of following what you needed from him. Joel hasn’t even been in his room at the club out of the fear of what it would do to him. Would I still be able to smell the lavender of her shampoo in there? Still be able to hear her beautiful cries of pleasure and pain bouncing off the walls?

“She thought I was you,” Tommy says, glancing over at his brother and interrupting Joel’s impending spiral.

Joel sighs, slipping his reading glasses from his face before taking a long pull of the amber liquor from his crystal glass. Tommy looks straight ahead as he continues.

“She’s doing great, by the way. Or at least that’s what her friend said when she was scolding me.”

Joel winces at his words, “Of course she is, Tommy.” Even though it's been almost a year since you left, just the mention of you rips his barely-mended heart back in half. It doesn’t seem to matter how much time passes, he still feels like he did in his kitchen.

The very fibers of his being ache just as hard for you now as they did then. He longs to see you and touch you, to feel your warm, soft skin under his hands again. Anyone before you was always, ‘Yes, Mister Miller,’ even when they weren’t in a scene; but not you. You weren’t afraid to be curious and unapologetically yourself. He hasn’t laughed as hard with anyone, including Tiffany, as he did with you. But the part that he misses the most is the way you look at him the first time you see him. Your eyes soften, velvety pink lips parting slightly before they curl into a smile that makes his heart hammer behind his ribs. Then, he watches your shoulders relax and it makes him feel like he hung the moon and stars for you, and if he could have, he would have.

He clears his throat and then rasps, “She’s too smart to not be doing well.”

Tommy stands, bringing his hands to rub at Joel's shoulders. He squeezes his tense deltoid muscles and with a hint of mischief in his voice he says, “Lots of pretty girls here tonight if you feel like moving on.”

Joel shakes his head and pulls away from Tommy’s grasp with a grunt. “Never gonna happen. Get outta here before you get yelled at two nights in a row.”

“Just too bad for me that you aren’t a hot brunette,” Tommy says with a laugh.

“I have brown hair,” Joel replies defensively, running his fingers through the grown out curls.

“Not to kick you when you’re down, but it’s mostly grey at this point.”

Joel holds up a single finger at Tommy over his shoulder as he laughs and walks away.

Two and a half years later

You

You’ve been up to your eyeballs in studying as you prepare for your finals. These last few years in California have been the hardest yet most fulfilling time of your life. Two nights in a row now, you’ve fallen asleep in the library, only waking when your Spotify would switch from the white noise playlist you use to help you focus, to your “getting ready” playlist. After dragging yourself to your dorm room in the dead of the night, you’d get a few restless hours of sleep before heading right back to your favourite studying spot. You can’t believe that in just a few short weeks you’ll be graduating and stepping into the life you’ve always envisioned for yourself.

The unmistakable FaceTime jingle fills your AirPods. Jamie’s name is splayed across the screen of your phone, along with a photo of the two of you at Albany Beach when she visited this past Christmas break. You put your highlighter down and slide the answer toggle over.

“Hey!” She says, her warm smile shining up at you. You squint, trying to place where she is. You don’t often let yourself think of Joel, but the cracks across your screen make FaceTiming difficult, and the selfish side of you always wishes you had grabbed that new phone before you left. Your head cocks to the side; broken screen or not, you don’t recognize the background.

“Where are you?” You ask.

“Oh, I’m good, thanks. How are you?” She jests with a mocking eye roll. “I’m at a cabin.”

“What cabin?” You say, glaring at her jokingly. A deep laugh comes from the otherside of the phone and your eyes widen. “Who’s that?”

The man's voice comes from offscreen, “I can’t believe you thought she wouldn’t ask where you were. She’s going to be a lawyer, for god's sake.”

“Jamie, who is that? What is going on here? Blink twice if you need rescuing!” You joke.

Jamie blushes, looking over the phone at whoever that voice is coming from. “I just wanted to call to see how the studying is going, and to let you know that I got the graduation tickets.”

A glass of white wine appears in front of Jamie and she smiles before puckering her lips in a kissing motion towards the man in the room with her. “Ok, seriously, who the fuck is that and where are you?”

“I was also calling to let you know that Laren can’t make it anymore and Odette is in New York,” she takes a small sip of her wine.

“Oh, well that’s ok,” you say, trying to squash the disappointment and hoping it doesn’t show in your voice or face. You wished that at least two of your three best friends would be there for you. “It can just be me and you, baby!”

“Well…I’m wondering if I could maybe bring my boyfriend? Might be a good opportunity for you two to meet.”

“What? What boyfriend?” You say, officially abandoning all study materials until you get some answers. Jamie raises a perfectly manicured finger and calls the mystery man over.

You swallow hard as Tommy Miller appears beside her.

Jamie glances up at him, her bright green eyes full of admiration, his mirroring hers. The starry look in their eyes tells you everything you need to know; they’re so far gone for that even a search and rescue team wouldn’t be able to save them. She looks back at you. “Meet again, I guess.”

You try to push for answers, but either of them give in, claiming you need to focus on finals. Before you hang up, Jamie promises to tell you the entire story when you see each other next. You’re happy for your friend, especially seeing the way Tommy looked back at her. Even through your cracked screen you could see the love, but as you try to go back to studying you have a hollow feeling in your stomach.

Graduation Day

You

The late afternoon sun fills your dorm room, boxes of your belongings stacked haphazardly around you. After walking the stage tonight, you are going out to dinner with Jamie and Tommy, and then he has paid for a hotel suite so the two of you can have a girls’ night. You can’t wait to hear how Tommy went from, in Jamie’s previous words, “my dad’s new asshole friend” to her boyfriend.

You step in front of your floor length mirror, zipping up the black graduation gown over your knee length, form fitting, deep emerald velvet dress. The California sun has been good to you, your tanned legs and sunkissed nose and cheeks are glowing. You place your blue and yellow Berkeley Law stole over your head and then grab your cap, ensuring the ‘Class of ‘28’ tassel is secure. You fluff your curls one last time as a light knock comes from your door.

“Ready to graduate, gorgeous?” Ronan smiles at you, eyes trailing down your gown. He’s the type of handsome that’s almost painful to look at, but more importantly - you wouldn’t have made it through these last three years without him. You met the first day - the lock on your door wasn’t working, and he waltzed in on you half naked when he mistook your room as his.

You smile at him in your doorway now; remembering the way you screamed at him that first time, trying to cover your chest, and him scrambling to close the door. His eyes were clamped shut, and he slammed his finger so hard that you had to take him for stitches. Now, several years later, he fills out his graduation gown perfectly with those wide rugby shoulders, a sight you couldn’t even have imagined back then. Whichever angel made him didn’t make a single mistake - he’s tall and insanely broad, with dark sandy blonde hair, and clover green eyes that in the right light are a golden hazel. He’s easily one of the smartest men you’ve ever met and an incredible athlete. The cherry on top, because of course there’s more: he’s an international student and has a panty-melting Irish accent.

“Beyond ready. Let's become lawyers, babe.”

He steps aside, one arm out in a ‘ladies first’ gesture. Handsome, charming, and thoughtful - a dangerous trifecta. You slide your hand in the crook of his muscle-lined arm and walk across campus together.

Ronan jerks his head towards the coffee cart. “Remember when you spilled your entire coffee on your new puffer jacket?”

You glare up at him, you saved for weeks to buy that jacket. “No, but I remember you throwing up in that trash can after the Halloween party last year.”

“Well, if Beach Party Barbie had helped Lifeguard Ken with all those shots we wouldn’t have had that problem, would we?” You laugh as Ronan puffs out his chest, but you both know he was more than willing to take your half of the ‘Best Couples Costume' shots.

Finally, you reach the courtyard where the law students will be walking across a stage that acts as the symbolic bridge to the rest of their lives. I’m a lawyer, you think to yourself and try to force a smile. The magnitude of the day only really starts to sink into your bones as you see the friends and families of your classmates start to take their seats. The excited feeling you had earlier starts to morph. You’re proud of yourself for what you’ve done these last three years, and this was just the first step. You have so much to look forward to, so why do you feel a sense of dread building in the pit of your stomach?

Ronan walks you to where you need to line up alphabetically, kissing your cheek and then, after leaning in and placing his large hand on your lower back, he whispers a joke about how you better not trip. You glance around the thick crowd for Jamie and Tommy. After realizing it’s hopeless to try and spot them in a group this large, you slip your cap over your hair and get in the procession line.

You try to soak in every minute of the day, from the speeches to the birds chirping in the background, but something akin to loss flutters at the base of your spine. You’re just as sad to be leaving Berkely as you are excited to carve out your future. Leaving here isn’t what’s causing you to feel this way, however. You try to tell yourself that maybe it’s just nerves; even with all the job offers coming in from your internships, it’s normal to be nervous about what comes next.

As the student union president gives his toast to the family and friends, you look down at your lap, pushing back the cuticle on your left thumb. Maybe it’s leaving Ronan. He’s been an anchor for you, grounding you almost every day of the last three years and you don’t know how you let yourself become this dependent on anyone, especially a man, again.

You shake your head at yourself and try to move your focus to the cuticle on your other thumb. Seeing the skin clean from the nail bed eases the tension slightly for you. ‘I’m allowed to be nervous when leaning on people, but not everyone will leave me,’ you recite almost automatically in your mind, the mantra you’ve had these past few years whenever you feel yourself getting this anxious. Just as you finish the thought, a car revs in the distance and the realization of what - or who - you’re actually missing slams through you so hard that you almost feel winded. Your lungs ache, tears pushing behind your eyes as his name rings loudly through your mind.

Joel.

You kept yourself busy since the minute you left Austin. The busier you were, the less time you had to focus on the void in your heart. During the school year, you didn’t have to find things to stay busy with; law school nearly chewed you up and spit you out. Over the summers, you worked as an intern and visited your friends. There was never a quiet moment, never too much time alone with your thoughts, and it was better this way. You can confidently say that you’d only thought of Joel six times since you walked out of his house that day: when you fell asleep on the beach and were so sunburnt you could barely move for three days; when you failed your first test; when your rusted SUV, that acted as your ticket to freedom at eighteen, died on the freeway in rush hour (from that point on you had to rely on public transportation to get you to the homes you cleaned). When you experienced your first earthquake; when you stayed up for forty-two hours straight after your partner in a group project didn’t have their side of the work done; and, lastly, this past New Year’s Eve when you were in Austin and thought you saw him at a party.

“Is he here?”, that little box of feelings that you shut away in a vault long ago wonders. “Has anything changed for him in the last three years?”

The small smile that pulls at your cheeks, and the excited flutter of your heart when you think about the possibility of seeing him again, proves that maybe nothing has changed for you. As the minutes tick by, your mind races with all the possible scenarios for after the ceremony. What if he is here? What will you say? What will he say? How will Ronan react, you know he has strong feelings about what happened between you and Joel. Even worse though, what if he’s not here? But maybe he’s at the hotel where Tommy and Jamie are staying?

Before you know it, your row is standing and walking single file towards the stage. With each strike of your high-heeled strappy sandals against the concrete, a memory of Joel floods your system. The toast he made you in his kitchen, the kiss in that dimly lit hallway on your birthday, the way he walked you through his club and how calmly he talked about you being in charge before going into the voyeur room. The multitude of orgasms he gave you within the four walls of his private room. Him singing on the small stage of the dive bar you found, followed by him spanking you right there in the bathroom with his hand clamped to your face to keep you quiet. His strong hand grasping your thigh as he drove you to his house. The way he tasted on your tongue. The smell of his skin: all ash and leather, occasionally mixed with whiskey or mint. The feel of his body: hard, broad and hot. His shuddered breaths as he confessed so many things in so few words.

‘It’s only you, sweet girl.’

‘Just call me Joel.’

‘I know, and I’m so proud of you, sweet girl.’

You carefully walk up the stairs, forcing the thoughts of Joel from your mind, just in time to hear your name announced as a graduate of Berkeley Law. You float across the stage, grabbing the piece of paper that acts as your degree until the real one comes, shaking the hand of the Dean who flips your tassel before you walk to the stairs on the other side; the stairs that symbolize the ending of your time here and the beginning of the rest of your life.

As you reach the top of the steps, you look out into the audience and see Jamie. She pumps her fist in the air and before you can process the empty seat beside her, you feel it; a strong tug from behind your navel. It takes you less than a heartbeat to find him and the sight before you floods your body with a familiar warmth. Standing under a large tree at the edge of the audience, dressed in all black, and holding his Stetson hat to his heart, is Joel. For the first time in years you feel whole again.

You keep your gaze on him, worried that if you so much as blink that he’ll be gone. You are supposed to follow your classmates, but you veer left, walking towards Joel. The closer you get, the more at ease you feel. He’s real, you think, he’s here. You stop a foot or so in front of him.

“Hi, Freckles,” he whispers, his voice cracking slightly. His eyes dance around your face, almost as if he’s trying to memorize this moment. You can’t help but wonder if he’s feeling exactly how you are.

“Hi, Sweet Cheeks,” you say, the same tremble in your voice, as you try desperately to hold it together. “You’re here.”

He nods and you give him a tight-lipped smile as your mind races. There’s so much you want to say, but now that he’s standing right there in front of you after three years, you don’t know where to start.

Joel breaks the silence, jutting his chin in the direction of the other graduates as he says, “I saw you come in with your boyfriend. When I saw you kiss, I was going to leave, but I made you a promise.”

You knit your eyebrows together and take a step closer. “Boyfriend?”

“The man you walked over here with,” Joel says, his black Stetson sliding down the chest you so desperately want to touch as he drops his hands to his sides. He’s left no barriers between the two of you except the heartbreak that’s evident on his face.

You laugh quietly, “No, he’s - that’s Ronan.”

Joel nods. “Okay.”

“He’s my friend,” you clarify, and when Joel’s face stays the same, you add, “And he’s still as gay as the day we first met!”

Joel lets out a whoosh of a breath and closes the distance between the two of you, his free hand comes to one of your curls, twirling the end of it around his thick fingers. Soft and silky meets rough and calloused. “I’m so proud of you, Freckles.”

You don’t miss how he watches your tongue dart between your lips, “Thank you.”

“So? How does it feel?” He gives you a soft crooked smile, his dimple carving into the short facial hair of his salt and pepper beard. Between that smile, and the way his brown eyes wash over you, you’re overcome with affection. He let you go. He did exactly as you asked him. He didn’t chase you or try to convince you to stay. You told him if he really loved you, then he’d do exactly this; and in turn, he did what he said he would.

He showed up.

“I love you,” you state and the air between you turns electric, almost like this moment could either set you both aflame or act as a generator for your future together. Joel gives you that look, the one that makes you feel like you’re the center of his universe. He lets the curled end of your hair slip from his fingers, reaching up towards your graduation cap but hesitating.

“May I?” He rasps and swallows hard.

You nod, and knowing exactly what he’s going for, you take the Stetson from his other hand and place it on your head after he removes your cap. The brim of it blocks out everything but the two of you.

“Say that again, sweet girl,” he murmurs.

“I love you,” it’s barely a whisper this time. “Even after three years apart, you are everything to me. I asked you to let me go so I could accomplish this, and you did. You’ve always done what I asked, what I needed. I’m not sorry for what happened between us, but I am sorry that I missed out on getting to spend the last three years with you looking at me how you are now. I love you, Joel Miller.”

He brings his lips within a breath of yours, and your body practically vibrates with the knowledge that if you leaned just a bit forward, you’d finally have his mouth on you again. You can almost taste the mint on his tongue as the familiar fragrance of ash and leather surround you. “I have dreamed of hearing those three words leave your beautiful lips more times than I can count, baby. You’re it for me. I’ll do anything for you, even if it means breaking my own heart, but I’m always going to be here for you, rooting for you and encouraging you. I’m glad you’re not sorry, because I’m not, I’m so fucking proud of you. I love you, too, my sweet girl.”

Finally, he presses his warm, firm lips against yours while pulling you tight to his body. You wrap an arm around his neck, holding the black cowboy hat against your head with your other hand. It doesn’t matter that the ceremony isn’t done, or that there are hundreds of people to your right. For the first time in three years, everything goes quiet. He hums contentedly and you feel yourself melt against him, tilting your head so he can deepen the kiss. He parts his lips, letting you take the first swipe of your tongue against his. Need floods your system, and based on the way he grinds into you, he’s feeling the same.

He breaks the kiss, but doesn’t go far, resting his forehead against yours. “Take me home,” you practically purr.

“Where do you want home to be? I’ll go anywhere,” Joel rasps, running his nose down the bridge of yours.

“Austin,” you respond, your breath catching as his lips ghost along the side of your mouth.

“I sold my portion of the club to Tommy and Tess. I don’t have anything holding me in Austin anymore, sweet girl. If you have a job offer you really want, that’s where we’ll go.” You pull back to look at him. You can tell by the set of his jaw that he’s serious.

“I want to go to Austin. I have a job offer there.”

“Good thing I told Tommy not to touch my room at the club then.”

“That’s a very good thing,” you moan and then pull him in to kiss again. The audience behind you erupts into cheers, celebrating the accomplishments of every student in that crowd.

You’re a lawyer, and suddenly, the future doesn’t seem so scary.

Joel

Taking you home to Austin that night unfortunately wasn’t an option. After finding Jamie in the crowd, and being formally introduced to Ronan, he called the car to pick up the three of you. You all met Tommy at the restaurant, celebrating with all the expensive homemade pasta and overpriced wine that you wanted; even though seeing you in that curve-hugging velvet dress was slowly killing him. Joel had kept at least one hand on you since seeing you again, and he doesn’t plan on changing that anytime soon.

He didn’t want to rush you on your big night, so he waited patiently, listening to you tell stories of your last three years, and revelling in the evident joy that you and Jamie share over being together again. When dessert comes around he catches Tommy’s attention and gives him a small smile. It’s fitting that the two brothers, who have been so close their entire lives, would fall in love with best friends.

Once in his room, he spent two hours stripping you down at an almost painfully slow pace. He kissed every inch of your skin twice over and has pulled five orgasms, and counting, out of you so far.

Now, Joel is seated in the wide velvet arm chair in the corner of his hotel suite. His cock is buried deep inside of your tight cunt as you straddle him. Your skin feels like butter under his hands as he trails them along your back and the globes of your perfect ass. He’s missed tying you up, but this is what he longed for: the earth shattering intimacy he feels with you in these moments.

“Please,” you mumble into his neck, desperate to move your hips.

“Not until you answer me,” he demands softly. “How many times was it that you needed me, but were too stubborn to reach out?”

Earlier tonight you told him about the six times you really needed him. He’d kissed you softly after each confession, returning the trust with a time he needed you. After the last one, he’d pulled back to look at you with dark eyes. He’d hated that you needed him and he couldn’t be there. He’d clenched his back molars twice before he said you’d be denied six orgasms the next time you were at the club, but tonight you have permission to come as often as you need to.

He swats your already reddened ass cheek and your pussy flutters as you cry out. “Mister Miller, stop. Please, just let me move.”

“Do you need to use your safeword?”

“No,” you respond with a pout.

“How many times?” He says again through gritted teeth, even though already knows the answer.

“Six,” you sob.

He tuts and then growls, “That doesn’t sound like my good girl, does it?”

You shake your head against his throat and moan a sound of disagreement.

“Do you want to come for me again?”

“Yes, Mister Miller. Please!”

He trails his fingers up and down your back again, the thin sheen of sweat on your skin makes it easy for him to caress you. He smiles to himself at the shiver that racks through your body at his touch. You react so beautifully to him. “Yeah? You wanna grind your swollen little clit on my piercing, baby girl?”

“Please,” you whine again, stretching out all the vowels in the word.

“Show me. Ride my cock, take what you need.”

You lift your head from the crook in his neck and pull back slightly, rocking your hips back and forth; a sultry laugh leaves his lips at your eagerness. You look at him with hooded eyes, hair stuck to your forehead. His eyes trail down your neck to the bruises he sucked into your collar bone earlier and then to your breasts; both of which are covered in his marks. He watches the little gold nipple clamps, and the chain that connects them, bounce with each flick of your hips.

“That’s it, sweet girl. You look like a goddess, my goddess. Who do you belong to?”

“I’m yours, baby,” you say through shallow breaths. He pulls at the chain and you cry out in pain. “S-sorry, Mister Miller.”

“Again, sweet girl. Tell me who you belong to.”

“Oh fuck, y-you, Mist -” his hands come to your face and when he whispers your name the rest of your sentence dies on your tongue.

“Just call me Joel.” The commanding voice of his alter ego is gone as he says it.

Your hips slow, changing from a frantic back and forth to a sensual swirling motion. “I’m yours, Joel. Forever.”

He kisses you softly, a silent telling of how vulnerable he is at this moment. “Don’t ask me to let you go ever again.”

The smile you give him causes his heart to skip, “I won’t.”

“You might, sweet girl. I won't survive it if you do, so I’m going to remind you of this moment as often as possible for the rest of my life. Remind you how much you’re loved and supported. You’re mine, Freckles.” Your hips swirl and he feels you tighten up around him. “Come for me, my sweet girl.”

“Fuck, fuck, Joel!” It’s a cry and moan all at once.

“I’m here, it’s ok, baby.” With that, your body shudders and you fall into him as you shatter. Your pussy clenches and releases rapidly around his length. His cock twitches, and once he can’t hold it anymore he relaxes, letting his orgasm rock through him in time with yours.

“I’m yours, too,” he gasps as he melts into you.

The End

Coming Soon:

Curious how Jamie ended up with her "dads new asshole friend?"

Part 2 of the BDSMaid Trilogy coming mid 2025!

Also, stay tuned for the epilogue for Joel and Sweet Girl.

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14dayswithyou · 2 days ago

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I literally have the most amazing and wonderful community in the entire world???? T_T In this essay, I will—

This is going to be raw and unedited because I want to get my initial thoughts out there before I forget n go back to crying /pos, but?? Yawl.... I can't even begin to find the words to express how appreciative and grateful I am for each and every one of you!! ;v;

I've spent the past few hours reading through everyone's personally written messages, then rereading them all again to let it all fully sink in. I'm being genuine when I say that I've never felt this loved or appreciated in any community before in my life.

Those in the Discord server might know about this already, but since the start of this year, I haven't really been enjoying myself (nor have I been as active) in the yandere VN community. There was far too much infighting between devs, parasocial communities, and toxic anons that ruined so much for me — so I withdrew from it all and remained in my own small bubble. Even then, I still got belittled, harassed, doxxed, and even became the target of Tall Poppy Syndrome by others; most of which nearly made me want to leave altogether, but the overflowing amount of support from everyone in the 14DWY community made me want to stay.

And even now, after reading all those heartfelt messages... I think it's permanently solidified the little space I occupy here on the internet :3

So... Yeah, long story short (and a story that will likely end up as its own separate Tumblr post gjskskjd), I wasn't enjoying myself at all in the yandere VN community... but I did have the time of my life in the 14DWY community. And it's all thanks to you guys.

I'm genuinely sooooo proud to have such an endlessly kind, social, and talented community; and I'm glad to have brought such an interactive and friendly group of people together over our shared interest in such a nice concept. 14DWY is essentially a labour of my love — and although I'm ultimately creating it for me and my silly interests — it's still something that I want to make worthy of you guys as well. All the love and support you've shown me and 14DWY motivates me to do my very best, and y'all deserve nothing less. So...

Thank you all for finding a comfort character in my Totally Normal Guy and his Totally Not Eccentric quirks. Thank you for all the insanely talented creations y'all make and share with me. Thank you for sending in your silly (/pos) questions and turning them into inside jokes and AUs for the rest of the community to enjoy. Thank you for talking with me and making this space a genuinely fun place for me to be in again.

From the bottom of my heart; thank you all so much. I really hope everyone has had an amazing year so far, and I hope 2025 will be as kind to you as you all were towards me.

I also want to give a big fat massive huuuuuuuge shout-out to Ashe / @flaneur001 my love (/p) for organising the 14DWY letter event on Discord, and for contributing so much of their time and dedication to the 14DWY community. You say you've only been part of the community for a year, but to me, that was a year well cherished and appreciated. The 14DWY community (and me especially) have all been so lucky to spend this past year with you, and I sincerely hope you've enjoyed it as much as we have. You've done so much for me, the community, and the 14DWY Discord server, so it's only fair that you get the recognition you deserve. So thank you, Ashe!! And a big thank you to everyone in the 14DWY Discord who participated in this event as well!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some cryin and sobbin to do <3 /silly /pos

#Not me being mushy on main?????? Who is this.... This is so un-evilhehe of me....... /silly #💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — shut up sai.#💜 — 14dwy misc.

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linskywords · 3 days ago

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2024 HRPF recs

As has become my wont, I spent the last few weeks trying to catch up on some of the new fics in the hockey RPF tag that I missed over the course of the year. I definitely didn't get to everything, or even all of the most popular ones; there may also be a bias towards shorter fics here, as I was trying to get through a lot. 😅 But I hope you enjoy, and possibly find a gem or two that you missed!

First, some general favorites:

Scoring Effects by @helenish (McDrai, 30K): Ah, Helenish. A goddess among us. I love a good mistaken identity story, and this is a GREAT mistaken identity story.

barons by dilangley (MattDrai, 43K): Future fic in which Houston gets its own expansion team, Matthew coaches it, and Leon and Trevor Zegras play on it. Gorgeously done. The Trevor POV section broke me a bit, but it was worth it.

Living Things by @makeit-takeit (TK/Patty, 115K so far): I am so deeply invested in this series. It's very real and vivid-feeling future fic that does an amazingly thoughtful job exploring the NHL wife-and-kids pipeline and what happens when that doesn't fit you as well as you thought it would. The stories that are written so far feel nicely complete, but if you'd rather hold out for the full HEA, you can check out her Wild Ice for a different highlight from the past year.

put the stars in our eyes by @notthequiettype (McDrai, 17K): the McWedding story that I wish I had written. I thought it was going to destroy me, and instead it left me all warm and fuzzy.

Lost and Found by angry_geno_is_score (MattDrai, 2K): angry_geno_is_score had so much to choose from this year, as always, and I loved this as a microcosm of the hurt/comfort they do so well. If you like it, you know where to find more from them!

Next, we move to the irresistible new Sharks babies. I'm not sure I can oversell how hot these three stories managed to be:

come on (leave me breathless) by countthestars @moondoggiestyle (Will/Mack, 10K): I've already talked about how much I loved this one. There can never be too many stories of one player catching the other getting off in the shower, especially if they're as hot as this.

revising the shoreline by ohyellowbird @teex (Will/Mack, 6K): another super well done exploring-their-sexuality-while-not-talking-about-it story, aka my kryptonite.

teamwork makes the dreamwork by canary @bigdogenergy (Will/Mack and Will/Mack/Ryan Leonard, 19K): I'm sure a lot of you have already read this in the last week or so, but I couldn't not recommend it. Mack goes into heat and Will needs an alpha to help him out. Who to call but the ex?

And then we enter the realm of vaguely devastating but gorgeously written JDTZ trade fics:

home by now by donderwolk @donderwolkenblog (Jamie/Trevor, 6K): The moment they found out about the trade, and a little bit after. Brilliant, impeccable, ruinous.

heat check by jolach @hyggles (Jamie/Trevor and also Carts/Richie, 4K): Outsider perspective on Jamie and especially Trevor as they deal with the aftermath of the trade, through the eyes of Mike Richards, who may have some experience in the area. I don't know how anyone writes this well, honestly.

Finally, one of my favorite things about reading through the past year's fics is finding a prolific new author I love who I had totally missed in my year of mostly reading people I'm already subscribed to. This year it was unsay (@tungpin). They seem to have started writing HRPF this year, and they tend toward the kind of complicated sometimes-ambiguous stories that I never manage to write but love to read. Here are a few of my favorites of theirs from this year:

malt (MattDrai, 4K): Leon meets Sasha Barkov and has feelings about how he wants to be more serious than Matthew does (OR DOES HE).

accessory to the rockstar (McDrai, 5K): once again we have Leon having thoughts about how he feels more than the person he's into, this time about Connor. Bittersweet and lovely.

the care and keeping (Jamie/Trevor, 12K): in which Trevor's friends get on Jamie's case about neglecting him post-trade, and Jamie does something about it.

That's it from me, at least for now! I know there were many excellent stories this year I didn't get to, especially the long ones that I just didn't commit to while reading for this list. Perhaps this is the year I do what I've been telling myself to do for the past two years and keep track of what I read and love throughout the year. We can only dream. 😅

Happy reading!!

#hockey rpf #fic recs #mcdrai #mattdrai #tk/patty #willmack #jdtz

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 7 hours ago

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Death Wish 14

Warnings: non/dubcon, mentions of crime, violence/abuse and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: mob!Bucky Barnes

Part of the mob drabbles au

Summary: you’re desperate for a way out of your life and you ask a powerful man for help (plus!reader)

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

Photo Inspo

When Castro leaves, there’s no buffer left to you. As usual, you have no defense against this man. You feel Bucky watching you as you avoid him.

You take in the decor. As nice as it is, it’s just another reminder of the distance between you and this man. He has everything and you have nothing. You are entirely at his whim.

He sighs and you sense the subtle shift behind you as he stands. You glance over your shoulder as he strips off his jacket. He stretches his neck to either side and it pops.

“May as well get settled, doll, too late to send you off now,” he drawls.

You face him entirely and nod. Resignation isn’t such a new feeling to you. He looks at you with a fire in his eyes. He comes forward and you plant your feet.

“Are you excited? At all? A wedding? A wardrobe? The most powerful man in the city?” He stops before you and tilts his head.

You stare at him and open your mouth. You should lie to him but you can’t force the words out. Despite your speechless gape, he doesn’t appear disappointed. He cups your cheek and his tongue peeks out over his lip and he considers you.

“I respect that. You’re too honest for your own good.” His thumb brushes up to your temple. “So I’ll ask the big question, do you think... do you think I’m handsome, doll? I have been told I got nice eyes but I got a lot of people around me who will tell me whatever I wanna hear.”

You flinch and narrow your eyes. You feel a dimple pinch. He smirks.

“You think that’s funny,” he states.

“I guess. You don’t need me to answer that, do you?”

He takes a breath, “maybe not but I’d like to hear it from you.”

You look down then flick your eyes back up, “yes, you are handsome, Mr. Barnes.”

He snickers and brings his other hand up, cradling your head gently. “And you’re gorgeous, baby.” You scrunch your face and clucks, “don’t make that face, you know it too.”

“Barnes--”

“Bucky,” he insists.

“Bucky,” you echo wistfully.

“Hey, I know I gotta treat you right or one day you’ll find someone to take care of me--”

You shove him, not thinking. His words lash you like a fiery whip. He takes a step back, though you know that you truly can’t impact him that much.

“Don’t you dare—How could you say that to me?”

His eyes drift placidly then spark as they fall on you again, “you play innocent with everyone else. It’s perfect, but not with me. I know what you’re capable of.”

Your nose tingles, “you don’t understand--”

“I don’t?” He arches a brow. “I don’t understand the bruises on your neck or the desperation in your voice? I didn’t deliver you exactly what you wanted on a platter?”

“Why are you doing all this? What—do I have to get on my knees and thank you?” You step forward then stop. You sneer and drop to your knees. You clasp your hands together with a clap. “Oh, Bucky Barnes, the King, thank you for putting that gun in my hand. Thank you for taking those years of abuse and twisting them into your prize. Thank you. Is that good enough?”

He looks down at you. His expression is clear, calm. He holds out his hands.

“Get up,” he demands.

“No, you want me on my knees. You want me beneath you. To know that I owe you this life.” You tug but he doesn’t let go. “I don’t want it. I never did. I just wanted... I wanted my sisters to be free.”

He slowly bends his knees and lets you go. He comes eye level with you as you take a breath. He scoops you up in a single motion and you cry out. He hikes you up, turning you sideways in his arms. You push on his chest, your other arm stuck against him.

“Barnes--”

“Why don’t you just call me James then? If you’re going to act like my mother,” he growls as he marches past the sofa.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t--”

“You meant it. Goddamn it, doll, that’s as genuine as you’ve been with me. Don’t think I’m stupid,” he takes you into the foyer and turns up the large staircase. You wriggle as panic swells in me.

“Please, I’m... I don’t know what I’m doing. I told you--”

You voice fizzles as he remains silent, his expression stone. You look down and shudder in his embrace. He carries you to the second floor and down a hallway. He doesn’t stop until he reaches the four-postered bed, dropping you onto the plush cushion.

“All you need to worry about knowing how to do, is keeping me happy,” he snarls. “That’s it.” He glares at you with a fearsome leer. “I told you, all I want is you. Not your lies, not your groveling, just you.”

You prop yourself up on your elbows, “I...” you search his face. “I don’t know how to give you that.”

He steps closer and bends over you slowly. A hot breath plumes from his nose as he plants his hands on either side of you. You drag yourself up on the bed and he lowers himself to trap you there. He leans in until his nose touches yours.

“You don’t gotta try so hard,” he brushes his nose on your cloyingly. “You just gotta... be...” his traces down to your cheek, nuzzling you. “Doll,” he tilts his head to nibble your lower lip. He growls and pulls on it until it slips free.

He frames your chin as he comes down onto an elbow. He crushes his lips to yours and you hum in surprise. His tongue begs for entrance and you easily abide his plea. His hand slips down to your throat as he invades your mouth. Like everything he ever taken, he claims you with brute force.

#bucky barnes #dark bucky barnes #dark!bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #series #drabble #mob au #au #marvel #mcu #avengers #winter soldier #captain america #death wish

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papaya-twinks · 8 hours ago

Note

Thank you so much for responding 🙏 can I put in the request please? Going to post it again here just so it doesn’t get lost - reader is in a wheelchair (who can walk but uses it for pain/ fatigue) going out with a driver and being worried about using their chair at the GP?

Sore - l.n

Warnings: I, myself, am stupid, so I don’t know if wheelchair is a warning coz tbh I don’t see it as a warning warning but then on the other hand it kinda is a warning like I don’t know if wheelchairs cause trauma or stuff but then again it’s just a chair with wheels like what harm can it do, like I’m also vaguely sure stephen farfler didn’t intend on anyone to keel over and faint at the mere mention of wheelchairs but then again I’m not sure if he actually thought far enough that fanfics would involve wheelchairs let alone actually fanfics themselves so I’m pretty much not sure about whether or not a wheelchair counts as a warning. also stephen farfler made wheelchairs.

Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader

A/N - I gotchu pookie, lost in transit I see 🙏 I will deliver

“You sure you coming is a good idea?” Lando asked, helping you place the folded wheelchair into the back of his car.

“Keep asking that and it makes it sound like you don’t want me coming,” you laughed.

Part of you…well, part of you thought maybe he didn’t.

Maybe he was ashamed his girlfriend sometimes needed a wheelchair.

“Oh don’t be a muppet, of course I want you there,” Lando nudged you, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he watched you steady yourself. “Too hard?” he winced.

“Let’s just tone down the pushes,” you said, letting him help you in the car.

“Baby,” Lando said, “I do want you to know that I’ve never been prouder than having you come to my race, y’know that?”.

Usually, you would’ve doubted him, or anyone for that matter.

But he was so sincere.

So sincere and genuine…it felt real.

“Thank you,” you whispered, pecking him on the lips as he smiled, pulling you in for a proper kiss.

You were still scared though.

Scared when the media turned to you and Lando, the metal frame in Lando’s hands.

Scared when you had to tug on his shirt and tell him your legs ached so badly.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Lando said, leaning down to peck you on the lips as he helped you sit.

“I’ll push you, c’mon,” he said.

“Lando!” you squealed as he pushed your chair fast, jolting your body back.

“Just setting the mood,” he laughed.

“Setting the- Lan, we’re gonna crash!” you held on your dear life.

“Hey! You have two wheels, make the most of it!” Lando laughed, turning round a corner.

By the time he’d relented, you were both panting, your hands sweaty, but you were laughing nevertheless.

At least he’d brought that pretty smile back to your face.

“Love ya, two wheels,” Lando grinned as you rolled your eyes.

“Yeah yeah,”.

#lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #f1 #lando norris x you #lando x reader #lando norris smut

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sabsberries · 2 days ago

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manners - h.s.

summary - Harry teaches his girl the importance of manners

w.c - 803

warnings - smut, swearing, use of y/n, the usual blah blah blah

“Don’t stop, I’m so close. Harry,” Y/N moaned out, her fingers tightening their grip on Harry’s curls as his tongue dove into her pussy. “No, no, no, no.” She chanted, her head lifting up to stare down at him. “Why did you stop?

“Where are your manners? Huh? Here I am, on my knees eating your pussy, and all you do is boss me around? Good girls use their manners. Do you know what good girls get when they use their manners?” Harry asked, his fingers digging into her thighs and hips, and his teeth nipping at the plush of her leg.

“What?” She panted.

“To cum. Do you want to cum?”

“Please Harry. So bad, I need it so bad. I need you so bad. Please just make me cum.” She whined, her fingers digging into his hair and pulling his head towards where she needed him.

“I think you can do better than that, darling.”

“Harry please. I’m fucking dripping for you. I need you so bad, please, baby.” She cried, her hands grabbing his to put them where she needed them most.

“There we go. There’s my good girl.” He smiled, his tongue darting out to lick from her hole to her clit, before his lips encased it, sucking harshly.

Y/N yelped, her spare hand dropping to the mattress below her, and her other tangling itself into Harry’s curls, guiding his head.

Harry’s left hand reached up, his middle finger sliding right into her, his index joining shortly after, before curling them up inside her, reaching around for the spot he knew made her go wild.

“C’mon, darling. I know you can do it. Let me see your pretty pussy cum for me.” His lips dropped back down to her clit, his eyes looking back up at hers with a small grin on his face.

Y/N’s back arched off the bed as she moaned out Harry’s name in a chant, her fingers clenching and unclenching in a fist in his hair, and her other hand reaching up to squeeze at her tits.

“Harry, baby, please. I’m so close.” She whined in a high pitched tone, her legs attempting to close against Harry’s tongue’s assault on her pussy.

Harry’s spare hand pushed her legs back down, before kneading the supple skin of her inner thighs, fingertips dancing around the softness.

With his mouth sucking her clit just right, and his fingers curling up into her spot inside her, Y/N couldn’t help the loud moans escaping her lips, begging for him to let her cum.

“I know you can do it, Y/N. Cum on my fingers like the good girl I know you are.” He sighed, pressing gentle kisses around her cunt before diving right back in.

“Fucking- Fuck! I’m cumming,” She yelled out, her hips grinding up to Harry’s face in an attempt to ride it. Y/N couldn't help the tears escaping her eyes as she felt the coil deep inside her belly finally snap as her orgasm washed over her.

She was encased in pleasure; from the tips of her toes to the top of her head, her whole body was ignited with the feeling of Harry. His pace never slowed, his fingers continuing their thrusts and curls, and his tongue continuing to trace figures of eight along her as he coaxed her through it.

“There we go. What do you say?” He teased.

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” She mumbled, her hand dropping from his hair to his hand to hold it, seeking comfort from him. Harry didn’t stop, though.

Infact, his tongue sped up and his fingers’ thrusts got stronger and stronger, massaging her g-spot once again.

“No, Harry please. It’s too much, I can’t.” She whined, her legs attempting to close at the overstimulation.

Harry finally slowed down, pulling away from her after a few gentle pecks to her clit, before crawling back up her body and collapsing on top of her. His mouth attached itself to hers softly, a shocking difference to the roughness of the way he kissed her cunt.

“Taste so good, I just can’t control myself,” He mumbled against her lips, his tongue reaching out to brush against hers, before they pulled away. “I’d eat you out all day if I could.”

“Feels so fucking good.” She giggled, her hands locking behind his head. “You alright down there?”

“Just give me a minute.” Harry closed his eyes and turned his head to the wall next to them, mumbling something about sandwiches and pimples for a few moments until she felt the hardness of his dick on her thigh slowly go down.

“Really?”

“It worked, didn’t it.” He grinned, his eyebrows raising for a second before his mouth dropped down to slot back into place with hers.

#harry styles #one direction #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut #harry styles x you #so hot and sexy #lhh supremacy

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chelfaust · 1 day ago

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Little bit of a vent :: Posting it here bc I don't want the discourse from the other sites if I'm being honest, and will probably delete it later idk.

I decided to wait to have a child. I decided to wait because I grew up initially extremely poor to an alcoholic single mother who chose her addiction over me every single chance she got. I lived in a trailer that I fell through the floor of - I sat awake every night in my bed til 4 am listening to god awful country music being blasted on the radio while she and her friends partied, but was still expected to get myself up in the morning and walk to school no matter the weather. I remember sneaking into the kitchen just to turn the music down slightly and every time less than 20 minutes later they would notice and turn it back up. To this day I can't stand country music and I have to sleep with some sort of background sound like an air purifier or fan. I missed nearly 30 days of school my 6th grade year and they wanted to fail me in the new state I moved to to be adopted by my aunt and uncle - thankfully my aunt fought for me to be put in 7th grade remedial classes so I was not held back a year. Needless to say, I had no real childhood. You see, I wanted very badly to have a stable life and be financially ok before I decided to have a child. And now, once I'm finally there - I'm faced with having a child in the most uncertain time of my millennial existence. Aside from all of the other rugs that have been pulled out from under me, and all the ladders that have been pulled up behind the boomers and gen x. I'm being bombarded with my healthcare being on the line via the recent events of women's health degradation. I'm having to seriously consider going to another country just to have my unborn child get the vaccinations they will need in order to live a fully healthy life unmarked by the fear of contracting an illness they would otherwise never have to worry about. Child tax deductions were cut in half the last time that orange nitwit was in office and now I'm facing him again as he surely looks for another way to financially cripple my family. I'm angry at myself for having waited to have a child now. If I had just tried earlier, I wouldn't be in this fearful mess. I would've already had her vaccinated and my rights would still be fully intact without the constant looming trepidation that some moron in my state's government will try to overthrow what the people have already codified. I'm tired and upset and I know I'm not at fault, but I feel so utterly fucking guilty.

#I'm just rambling and upset

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calirph · 17 hours ago

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𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐘 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒. all these sentences come from a search on goodread's keywords for fantasy romance and romantasy. please change names, locations and pronouns as you see fit. some of these might be suggestive.

“Rejection is an opportunity for your selection.”

“But I will not run. I wouldn't be standing here if I'd quit every time something seemed impossible to overcome. I will not die today.”

“There is no me without you.”

“They say the soul cannot rest until it finds its match. Then it ignites.”

“You don't love someone because they're a dream of perfection. You love them because of the way they meet their challenges, how they struggle to overcome. You love them because together, you bring out the best in each other.”

“Do you make it a habit to compliment everyone who's trying to kill you?"

“Do you really want to put yourself through this? Is loving me really enough to endure everything you have to just to be with me?"

“Make no mistake, little human. You are under my protection now, and I protect what is mine.”

“Love is when you’d rather see someone one last time and die, than never see their face again.”

“You are sweet to be so concerned over my love life, but I’ve decided only to date guys who have bigger swords than me.”

“Laire, get back here! You do not drink before we meet with our mortal enemy.”

“She's magic, Cassandra. A single flower blooming in an endless desert.”

“I bring you the whole of my heart at the rising of the moon and the setting of the stars.”

“You're exquisite. You're transcendent. And you are mine.”

“Fight me, love. You'll need the strength at the pass. Let that power fly."

“Gods, there seemed to be nothing more humiliating than being attracted to someone who didn't feel the same.”

“Call him. Claim him. Speak his Name. Make him thine before all others.”

“They were all short lives. She'd just wanted to spend more of hers with him. She'd just wanted more time.”

“You could never hate me as much as you want me.”

“That’s the thing about life. To know there’s an end, to be unable to run from it, but to live anyway.”

“I would fetch you the moon if only to spare your tears again”

“I am Death. And you are a fool. I hope revenge is worth it.”

“They despise us because we are Immortal, but it is the blood that runs through our veins ...That they fear.”

“The time for hiding is over. The time for fear is over. The time for action is now.”

“You are powerful by birth but have it in you to be good by choice.”

“It's not protection, little dragon. It's a claim. You're mine. No one touches what belongs to me.”

“Maybe you’ve know what it’s like to be at the bottom, but I doubt you’ve known hell.”

“How can I even look at any other guy on campus when you’re always on my mind? Literally.”

“Love is a not a weakness.”

“My future had been set for me before I was old enough to question it.”

“No one doubts your honourable nature, most noble of kings and best of brothers.”

“When you erupt, girl, make sure it is felt across worlds.”

“Be everything you truly are. That’s all I’ll ever ask of you, my silver one.”

“But if we don’t have peace, we shall have you.”

“Oh, Gesela, do not pretend you despise my attention.”

“He was beautiful and cold, like winter…”

“Answer my question. Send to my will. Why have you come, sweet one?”

“When you spend so long trapped in darkness, you find that the darkness begin's to stare back at you.”

“Iron is made stronger in the hottest part of the fire, Seth. You didn't break me, you forged me.”

“The whole damn world could burn, and I would still love you. When everything dissipates, you're the only thing I see. You've always been.”

“I’ll happily play the villain if you’re my reward, Mareina.”

“This realm’s moon hung on the skies, mine laid beside me, smiling and radiant.”

“If you're going to lie, make it a good one.”

“No one is killing my king tonight.”

“My beautiful Olivia, you are the moon of my night sky, beaming light and beauty into my life.”

“That’s it, my bride. Take your pleasure.”

“Perhaps, but the mind is also a powerful force. What you believe, you often see. And what you hope, often comes to be.”

“Patience is about as foreign to me as mercy."

“Remember that you are a wolf. And you cannot be caged.”

“I would have suffered a thousand more years to be with you.”

“It’s not easy to ignore an unfinished day that has been set on reminding you of its bitterness.”

“We aren't anything like strangers anymore, and certainly nothing like enemies. Compassionate like friends. Tender like lovers.”

“All or nothing. In dreams as in life.”

“You need me because I am the Queen of Ithicana.”

“You are mine, mo krrá. The same way that I am yours. From now until the end of time.”

“She would not be mastered by anything again; she was the master of herself.”

“When will you see I'm not your enemy, but your weapon. Wield me..”

“I may be evil but I do have a heart, Princess. It belongs to you. “

“There's no room for doubt on the wings of birds, let alone on the mane of moon dust.”

“I'll say it again. I don't care what you are. I care about who you are.”

“Your wish is my command, my queen.”

“I thought all you princes wanted was demure virgins you could pluck for the first time."

“Power was poison, one that slipped beneath the skin and which could turn even the purest soul into a wicked monster.”

“Love was a lethal weapon that rivaled the sharpest sword. It cut directly to the heart.”

“Morgan Pendragon is far from insignificant. She's a force of destiny and you would do well not to trifle with her or ever let her name cross your lips again.”

“I don't think I've ever met anyone as vexing as you,"

“That was what it meant to have power, wasn't it? You could simply destroy that which didn't serve you.”

#roleplay memes #sentence meme #( cali meme. )#rp memes #rp prompt #rp musings #roleplay prompt #◟ ⋆ memes › roleplay sources.

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thewalrusespublicist · 2 days ago

Note

"Tbh I was starting to feel a bit down about my blog and what I was putting out ( the eternal crisis on how to give full answers and opinions without being stupid, boring and annoying lol)"

OMG no way! Your blog is one of the best here! What i love the most is reading the analysis and meta from the users, there's always more information and good takes, and yours are always quite deep and insightful.

I would love if you share your opinions about Stuart as well. I feel like he is obviously more sanctified that he should be since he died young (like that insane quote from his mom saying that Brian told her that Stuart could have been the Beatles' manager, no way lol) and i feel his memory has been used to attack Paul, sometimes in a very unfair way. Like, i don't deny the teenage drama and jealousy that Paul felt about him but he *was* a shitty bass player and the band was Paul's future, he was allowed to criticized him not only for being John's new bestie. I also think John played with them both but i lack of your eloquence so i will love to read your take about it.

Hi anon! And the other anons!

Thank you again and to all the other messages I got, they were extremely sweet and really made my day. :)

From my inbox, it's clear you guys want to know about Stu and his role in the Beatles legacy. Well you asked for it and a novel you shall have. Be warned this might be the longest post I've done so grab like a drink or something.

A few disclaimers: I wish and had intended for this to be more of a deep dive into Stu as a whole person rather than just his relationship with John and Paul. Unfortunately I just didn't have the space to do it. If you want to know more about Stu I would highly recommend @eppysboys' blog which is the source for all things Stu Sutcliffe and where I got a lot of this info. Please check their stuff out. Also, I'm going to be a bit blunter on this than maybe I usually am because this topic has been irritating me for some time. Oh also I’m trying my best to answer a lot of asks in one post so please forgive if I don’t fully answer your specific ask about this!

Stu in a perfect world should be a fandom darling: an exciting cipher, a handsome artistic talent that died way too soon who had a major influence in the early Beatles style. It's like there’s this secret other James Dean looking mf Beatle hidden away to uncover, that's cool and he is cool! The problem is that he’s sort of becomes radioactive to talk about in a normal way due to how he's been portrayed and utilised in some biographies and fandom spaces, particularly those that have been infected by John Lennon aspirational boy bestie syndrome. As those types of spaces cannot seem to exist without tearing down Paul to prop John up as their special lil guy, Stu as John's other best friend has become the ideal heavy object to hit Paul McCartney over the head with. It's like a corrosive element, the minute Stu hits a Beatles bio, the biographer suddenly loses all training in objectivity and source work and starts waxing lyrical about 100 percent reliable never biased or wrong Saint Stu of Hamburg who died for our condom arson sins and that Paul McCartney should feel bad about every day of his life for not worshipping Stu and not accepting his own ‘place’ in life as John's just-some-guy placeholder best friend. I’ve personally seen so many posts and forums where Stu being mentioned leads to a legion of comments about how Paul could never have been Stu (correct both ways) and how John would never have even glanced at Paul for much longer if Stu had been alive. Sidenote: If you seriously think that the musical savant from down the road whom John went on to produce the most prolific song writing partnership in history with couldnt have kept his attention for long then I'm begging you on hands and knees to get your head out of the arse of your John Lennon body pillow and be serious. But anyway…

This boy bestie battle royale approach has in turn lead to a reflex reaction where Stu gets studiously ignored by other sections of the fandom as a precedent has been set that shining a light on him diminishes Paul and John's relationship with Paul. It's frustrating because if people weren't so keen to cut Paul out of his own story then we would get a much better nuanced view of every single person involved.

So let's put aside all of our defenses, cut the John Lennon loved one ranking system bullshit and lets look at the actual question here which is what was John and Stu's relationship really like and what did he mean to John?

John and Stu met at art college a year or so after Paul and John met. Up to that point John and Paul had their fun little codependant thing going on but Stu quickly became a huge fixture in John's life. Stu had things that Paul couldn't really offer at that point in time. John was at his heart a musician who aspired to be seen as an artist (he would later express surprise that he didn't become an artist). Stu was the passionate artist who knew tons about the art of the period that could teach and inspire John. Their creative leanings meant they could work on projects together and share art notebooks and poetry. (Including yes the one with anti-semitic story which I mention again as I believe it's an important thing to remember when it comes to both John and Stu and the culture of the time.) Stuart by the sounds of it was even writing a novel about John at the time of his death. They were fascinated and inspired by each other.

So, creatively they fired each other up but more importantly perhaps, Stu and John were peers. It's funny to think about when you see the Beatles later but at the time Paul and George were the kids in their school uniform coming to see their cool older friend at art school. That's an important divide. When Paul and George's parents insisted their kids do their homework and go to bed, John and Stu could stay up and talk all hours of the night, which they did. They also could rent a place together and spend long hours chatting (despite John moving out later after realising electricity cost money lol.) There's a different dynamic that the age similarity offered as well. Whilst Paul would later somewhat grow into this role, Stu could act as an authority figure to John as well as open up to John in a way you can really only do with your peers. Stu was the person John opened up to throughout Stu's life:

How long can one go on writing and writing like you. I now don’t really know who I’m writing to or why it’s quiet peculiar. I usually write like this and forget about it but if I put it in a little part of my [almost?] secret self in the hands of someone miles away who will wonder what the hell is going on or just pass it off as toilet paper. Anyway I don’t care really what happens because when I think about it, it’s so bloody unimportant – but what is important who has the right to say that this letter is not important and this is a something any way – anyway – anyway – yeah! I wonder what it would be like to be a cretin or something. I bet it’s gear. & how are you keepin Stuart old chap are you as ok – is life as good – bad shite, great – wonderful as it was or is it just a thousand years of nothing and coolness on and on and on. I think this is it Goodbye Stu don’t write out of – er what is it? well not because you think you ought to write when you feel like So goodbye (from John you know the one with glasses) ANYWAY BYE BYE see you soon I don’t know why I said that I remember a time when everyone I loved hated me because I hated them so what so what so fucking what I remember a time when belly buttons were knee high when only shitting was dirty and everything else clean + beautiful I can’t remember anything without a sadness So deep that it hardly becomes known to me so deep that its tears leave me a spectator of my own STUPIDITY + so I go rambling on with a hey nonny nonny nonny no

Extract from a letter to Stuart Sutcliffe from John Lennon, 1961

By lots of accounts Stu was gentle but firm when it came to telling John he'd gone too far. John references this aspect of Stu to Hunter Davies:

"I looked up to Stu. I depended on him to tell me the truth. Stu would tell me if something was good and I'd believe him."

The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (Hunter Davies)

In this way I kind of see Stu as a proto-Yoko. John was so insecure and uncertain about his grip on the world and reality that he relied on Stu to be his point of reference and guide. Paul did this too later and I think in Hunter Davies John mentions this, but not at this time period and not as much due to their competitiveness. This may be why some people saw Stu as the person that really understood John at this time period:

"During the turbulent adolescence that prefaced a turbulent manhood, hardly anyone knew Lennon as intimately as Stuart Sutcliffe. If they weren't exactly David and Jonathan, June Furlong, one of the life models at Liverpool's Regional College of Art, had "never seen two teenagers as close as those two."

The Gospel According To Lennon by Alan Clayson

Now this person likely never met John and Paul together but this is only one of many similar quotes and even Julia captain of John and Paul's friendship boat seems to agree there was a period where Stu dominated and Paul 'kept his distance' from the John-Cyn-Stu 'menage-a-trois'. But the friendship wasn't perfect and his position as John's ultimate best friend was never iron clad. This is best outlined by the shit they pulled when John convinced him to join on Bass for the Beatles.

Despite being John's best friend, Stu was teased and bullied:

"They argued as usual amongst themselves, but most of all they picked on Stu, the newest member of the group. John, George and Paul had been with each other long enough to know that rows and arguments and criticism didn't mean much. If it did, you just argued back. "We were terrible," says John. "We'd tell Stu he couldn't sit with us, or eat with us. We'd tell him to go away, and he did." At one hotel they stayed at, a variety show had just left. There had been a dwarf in the show and they found out which bed he had slept in and said that would have to be Stu's. They certainly weren't going to sleep in it. So Stu had to. "That was how he learned to be with us," says John. "It was all stupid, but that was what we were like."

The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (Hunter Davies)

Why John encouraged this I have no idea, maybe jealousy over Stu's looks and wanting to play people off each other? Things were tense in both Scotland and Hamburg, especially between Stu and Paul. As I said in my last post, the girls were fighting and it was mutual. Paul was mad for both fair and immature teenage-boy reasons. Stu could not be bothered with the bass most of the time and couldn't really play well and was only there as he was '(John's) best friend' (ouch for Paul). Paul conversely had given up higher education to be there and was sending lots of money back home. He also was dating the girl Paul fancied. Stu was popular with the new group and also did mean things like help John steal Paul's money when money was really tight for him. Paul in turn was a passive aggressive, jealous and mean. It all came to ahead in the punch up onstage which according to Spitz came about from Paul wanting money back and saying that Stu could borrow some from Astrid. Stu goes for him and reports vary from full-on bust up to embarrassing scuffle. Stu then goes to where Astrid and Paul's gf Dot are, demands Dot leaves and goes on a rant about Paul. Now all of this must be framed in the context of Stu receiving increasing brain damage from his condition that seemingly lead to mood swings and anger. Nevertheless, the mutual needling and anger, as well as John's refusal to do/say fuck all about it, especially given how protective John was of Stu, suggests that it wasn’t straightforward and/or John may have been playing some games to make both feel threatened. This would also make sense as to why we hear conflicting accounts of John and Stu being the centre of everything and everyone else in orbit AND John and Paul being the centre and everyone else playing catch-up, as well as John giving Paul the lead to take him round the Reeperbahn when John got dressed in the gorilla costume. (I know Paul may have just been the closest there but that always gave off bestie behaviour to me.)

(I did get an ask about how John and Paul's friendship survived it, I think it was damaged by Hamburg. When Paul got back home he got a job at a construction site and there's just a vibe of everything being a bit on tenterhooks. John also acts a bit weird at the period, not talking to anyone for a few weeks then making a lot of weird demands from Paul. I'm really not sure what to make of it.)

Even when he's back in Liverpool, John still writes long letters to Stu and vice-versa. I can't find it at all but I’ve read a really sad interview with John saying he missed his best mate and it's a shame that he's not with them. He had no idea at that point that Stu had already died of a brain hemorrhage at 21.

John is said to have gone into hysterics when he found out Stu had died. A lot of people who've spoken about this time (Aunt Mimi, his sister Julia, the Exsis) concur that at this point Stu was his best friend and the death shattered him. He even told Astrid he wished he could give his life for Stu’s. This is backed up by the fact that John never forgot Stu and his shadow lingered for the rest of John's life:

Stu was recalled in In My Life

Years later, after John composed the first of his truly poignant and heartfelt Beatles songs, "In My Life"—with its lines about "friends I still can recall/some are dead and some are living"—he revealed to me that the two people he had had uppermost in mind were myself and Stuart Sutcliffe. And then he stunned me with a statement that I'd never heard him address to anyone—least of all to another man. "You know, Pete," he said softly, "I do love you. But," he quickly added, "I loved Stuart as well."

Weird that Paul isn't mentioned surely you think that he would be mentioned if Pete was there too okay, okay my tin hat is going away this isn't the time

Pete Shotton, Nicholas Schaffner, John Lennon: In My Life

In 1965 John drew Stu on a postcard

He apparently said this about Stu prior to sending the postcard, prompted by an article about Stuart.

The card had been sent from Genoa mid-way through the Beatles' Italian tour. [...] But the conversation had become maudlin when I reminded him that he was going to talk to me for an article about Stuart. [...] In that sad telephone conversation before they set off for Milan, I asked him if he was happy: 'I'd be a lot happier if Stuart was still part of us,' he said, 'The Beatles would be complete.' And before he rang off he said 'Ill send you something.'

He also appears on the cover of Sgt Pepper

As mentioned, Stu gets mentioned in Hunter Davies in terms of wistfulness and guilt AND he gets a mention in John's insane 'if I were a homosexual' ramblings in early 70s. According to Yoko, John also wanted Yoko to write letters to him and didn't think it would be strange because Stu wrote letters to him.

I have a pet theory that as with a lot of things for John, his unresolved grief over Stu really came to the fore in the late 60s now that he had actually had a chance to sit down and think about things. I believe it was partially why he wanted Yoko to write letters and why he gets mentioned in the early 70s as a collaborator/best friend and not in 1980 where John only gives that credit to Paul and Yoko. I think with the cracks with Paul, John had started to think back on his old friend and guide and what advice he would give.

Stuarts presence is still felt throughout the seventies:

“He told me everything. He loved to talk about Hamburg. There were no secrets. It was the kind of life I never knew…. It meant total freedom. At his side always was Stuart, sweet Stuart. There wasn’t a time in John’s life when he didn’t think about Stuart. He spoke always of his love and respect for Stuart.”

Yoko discussing Stu in When They Were Boys: The True Story of the Beatles’ Rise to the Top by Larry Kane

Coming to grips with his death is also present in Skywriting

SEAN O’HAIRE: What happened to Stuart Cliff? DR. FISCHY: What happened was a full exchange of energy where it was not needed within the expression of your own self or in the energies involved around and about you. We cannot call it a happening. We’ll say it is an awakening, for in that way it has served an expression from the past to the present and to the future to where there shall be more of that incomplete vibration expressed to you in a more fuller understanding.

Skywriting by Word of Mouth, John Lennon

This isn't exhaustive but I think from all this it's pretty clear that John adored Stu, John grieved Stu and kept grieving Stu. Stu had a specific place in his life as a confidant that he tried to recreate with Yoko. At the time of Stu's death, he was John's best friend, probably slightly over Paul. Stuart had been able to be both a friend and paternal presence, a confidant and an artistic collaborator. His presence and loss was one of the foundational points in John's life.

But as we've been asked to play this stupid game and so many bios like to make a hoopla about it, were they at their closest ever as close as John and Paul were at their height?

No.

How do we know? Because John told us so:

" He [Paul] still is the closest friend I've ever had, except for Yoko, so I'm still close to him whatever goes on."

John Lennon to an interviewer, 1971

But Walrus! John just says shit! How do we know he isn't leaving out Stu because the press don't know Stu. Well true John does just say shit but this is at a time where John isn't the most glowing about Paul and he's had no problem mentioning Stu in this time period ('one of my best friends ever' would have made a similar point).

But Walrus again! If John picked Stu over Paul when they were young why wouldn't he be the boy bestie of all time, and why would John say that he was closer to Paul? Well, because of the environment and timings. Stu's death happened near the beginning of John and Paul's major bonding moments. If you look at their personal timeline, Paris, the Nerk twins, and getting signed happened just before Stu died. That's missing the major years of Beatlemania, Key West, LSD, Paul growing more into being John's peer and a load of other huge moments in their lives. It's like how John writes to Cyn in 1962 about wanting the house to themselves and not have Paul around all the time. Would you say because he feels closer to Cyn then that John in his overall lifetime loved Cyn more than Paul? No, because relationships change over time and theirs were no exception. (One thing to consider as well is that we don't yet have many letters between John and Paul during their Beatles years and earlier, probably because they were spending so much time with each other. We know a couple exist that Paul considers too personal for publication but I'm sure there are others. It's easy to understand what John felt for Stu as we have the letters, I think we would also have an easier time understanding what John felt for Paul if we had the equivalent of those.)

At the end of the day Paul was the man he believed he had a psychic bond with, the man he couldn’t shut up about, the man whom he’d conquered the world with with their endless collaboration, the man with a twin personality to him and according to John spent more time with throughout the 60s than he had with Yoko ever. To be frank if Paul had died in 67' I don't think this would have been a conversation.

As mentioned early, in early 1970s John elevates his partnership with Stu to his collaborations with Paul and Yoko but by 1980 he’s pretty clear that Paul and Yoko are their own category.

"I was saying to somebody the other day, “There’s only two artists I’ve ever worked with for more than a one night stand, as it were. That’s Paul McCartney, and Yoko Ono.” And I think that’s a pretty damned good choice!!"

John Lennon interview with DJ Dave Sholin, 1980

There are of course the what ifs. Would Stu still being alive mean that John was not as close with Paul? Maybe, highly doubtful though as the Beatles experience was so intense. If Stu remained a Beatle would John be as close with Paul? If Stu remained a Beatle he wouldn't be Stu so no. At the same time who knows what it would have been like if Paul and John were peers from the off? I said this to @the62ndbugsfan when it comes to Stu vs Paul (hi girl sorry i've made our chat a whole ass post lol) but to go a bit Wuthering Heights, soulmates are made as much from the earth as they are of the stars. What binds us is our experiences just as much as our personalities. There may be a universe where Stu and John took on the art world together or became inseparable bffs again after the Beatles disbanded, but it is not our universe. In this universe Stu tragically died and John and Paul chose to become Lennon/McCartney and artistically unite themselves forever.

Even going back to Stu's lifetime, I've said it before and I'll say it again I find it interesting that not only did John choose to go to Paris with Paul rather than pay to meet up with Stu somewhere but that they arranged to meet up with Juergen and nobody told Stu until they'd already gone. Stu was shocked and didn't know if it meant the end of the Beatles which is a pretty big thing for him not to know about. Why didn't John tell him if they're apparently still writing long letters? Was it because he really wanted to do this with Paul and didn't want to hurt Stu's feelings? And that's really the point I want to make here. Due to his trauma John was preoccupied with reinforcing ranking of relationships within his life. But the thing is friendship rankings are made up guidelines and the reality is far more complicated. You can have a designated best friend but feel closer to another friend at times, you can want to do one thing specifically with one friend and not the other for various reasons. You can (as I do) have more than one equal best friend. Friendship as with most relationships are in a constant state of flux and each friendship you have will give and mean a different thing, even if they are of similar value to you.

Paul may have ended up closer to John than Stu had been, but that doesen't make John's relationship with Stu any less special. Nor does Stu negate the significance of Paul. Whilst both fit into John's pattern of intense relationships and demands related to that, both had unique positions and meaning to him. Considering what I've gone into about John's closeness to Stu, it actually says something deeply, borderline unnervingly, intense about John and Paul that Paul pipped Stu to the post. Maybe it's time Beatles bios accept the fact that John Lennon just wouldn't be into them like that, stop using a tragically prematurely deceased young man as a prop in their jealous psychological warfare against Paul McCartney, stop perpetuating one of the most damaging games that John did to his loved ones and allow both relationships the space to shine and showcase the amazing talent that was the Beatles and those that surrounded them.

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sainteclectic · 3 days ago

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what do you think would cause soul to not see whole as a god or deity anymore?

i am interested

ohh very good question...

it's a buildup of things, I think. soul is trying to tuck his pain away because it's all worth it! all of it was worth it to see whole, all the thousands of loops of endless suffering {caused by} for whole, it's all okay because whole is here and everything is alright now. he gets frustrated with his involuntary responses to things- the way he flinches when heart or mind raise their voices too loud, the sound of fireworks sending him into a panic thinking it's happening again - the constant looming dread he's grown so used to, things he could manage before, they get to him because it's supposed to be over. he's supposed to be free. why isn't everything perfect, why isn't he perfect?

and he tries so very hard not to blame whole. in the beginning, he'd never even dare to. the other two do, but soul never would. sure, he put them all through hell and knowingly put soul specifically through an endless loop of suffering whole knew he remembered - but it's fine! whole got him through it too, he's the reason soul kept going, and who is he to question god?

things also become less perfect on whole's end. whole tries his best to impress soul, to not let him down, to live up to all the expectations of divinity. but he's not a god. he's just a man, and a very mentally ill and unstable one at that. so it's inevitable that he does things that aren't godly. he lashes out, he makes mistakes, he does all the things humans do and gods don't.

soul tries not to blame him again. it must be something with soul, somehow. it has to be that their harmony isn't perfect, there's something soul could be doing better, if they just find that perfect synchronicity, then it'll all be perfect. soul is a flawed and broken thing by design. whole is the ideal he's been striving for for... god, how long has it been now? hundreds of years? thousands? the loop number {333,333} is all that he remembers {always 3, never 1}, it's all that matters {not soul's suffering, not all the work that goes to waste, only whole}

the breaking point, like most things, happens gradually. maybe he starts to understand why heart and mind are furious with whole and feels terrified that he can relate to an emotion he'd never dream of having. maybe whole pushes him away and soul feels upset with whole instead of himself for once. maybe he realizes he's been praying to the altar of the god who brought him salvation, not to the man who damned him.

it's slow. and it's unwilling. and it's painful. for the first time, he's the one to pull away. he doesn't want to see whole because he can't bear to see the imperfections instead of the god he reveres. he doesn't want to have his whole life to be meaningless. doesn't want his mirror image to be as flawed as he is. {doesn't want to see whole's heartbroken face when he realizes it's finally happened.}

why is the world so cruel? why couldn't things just be alright? why couldn't soul be satisfied? {why couldn't whole just end this already? why did he put soul through hell if he loves him so damn much?} he's angry, and it hurts that he's angry, he doesn't want to be angry. but he is.

like the fall, the rebuilding takes time. whole is the one to reach out first for once. whole has always been terrified of initiating anything, always letting soul take the first step, but he's willing to try for soul. it's painful. there's a lot of crying. and soul is devastated when whole hugs him and it doesn't feel sacred anymore.

but it's warm. and it's human. and maybe that's enough.

#cccc #chonnys charming chaos compendium #chonny jash #cj soul #cj whole #cccc soul #cccc whole #tridential tirade #eclectic excerpts #yeah i'll put this there #kaleidoscope posting #oh my god i didn't realize i wrote THAT MUCH sorry orz

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lastoneout · 1 day ago

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OH MY FUCKING GOD??

We actually managed to get ahold of the doctor I saw last before I left yesterday(who I believe was my doctor for the whole stay) and he said that the nurse was either misinformed or straight up lying to me about what dose I was being given AND they denied me medication he prescribed!!

Apparently, they usually start patients with 5mg of oxycodone once they're in their rooms after surgery and IF THAT ISNT ENOUGH they are instructed to give me another dose to bring me up to 10mg and if it wears off I should have been given more even if it was within six hours, so yeah the nurses not only TOLD ME I was being given 10mg when I fucking WASN'T, they were ALSO SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME MORE MEDS THE SECOND I SAID WHAT THEY'D ALREADY GIVEN ME WASN'T HELPING OR IF THEY WORE OFF EARLY AND THE WHOLE "YOU ONLY CAN TAKE IT EVERY 6 HOURS EVEN IF IT WEARS OFF AND YOU'RE SOBBING AND AT A 10" THING WAS HORSESHIT.

The pharmacy ALSO did not fill all of the scripts they were given?? The doctor told us that on top of the pain meds he prescribed miralax to help with the ungodly, agonizing bloating I'm dealing with AND A MUSCLE RELAXER TO HELP WITH THE PAIN neither of which were given to me OR EVEN PUT ON MY DISCHARGE PAPERWORK.

The Doctor not only apologized profusely, he said he's going to talk to the nurses I had and let them know what they were doing was directly contrary to his instructions and that isn't fucking okay, and up the dose of the painkiller with a new script since the current one just isn't helping enough and the only thing I have to do is bring in and swap whatever I have left of the old ones, AND make sure the muscle relaxer and miralax get filled!!

He also let us know the setting my shunt is at, the headache I have is normal but if it gets really bad or lasts more than a few days (or if I just feel like something isn't right) that I should call back or just go to the ER, that I should be drinking 64oz of water a day as well as whatever electrolyte drinks I want, AND I can have coffee which should help, and sprite or ginger ale or anything I think will help with the nausea.

I take the shit I said about the doctor back HE knew what the fuck he was doing, the nursing staff and pharmacy just fucked the hell up for whatever reason. Which like...ngl given that two of the nurses were standing in the hallway, ignoring my repeated requests for help and the fact that I was literally sobbing in agony at even the lightest touch in favor of shit talking me!! I feel like maybe we had a case of at least some of the nurses being assholes for no reason. I will probably never know why but I do have a buzz cut, am giving off undeniably queer ass vibes, and had gay pride buttons on my bag, I live in Arizona, and I'm almost certain my gender in the system is set as nonbinary so....I can say for sure but it does makes me wonder.

(Honestly tho it's probably just them being understaffed and stressed and the whole "med school essentially teaches you that all patients are so stupid you can't trust anything they say AND drug addicts waiting to happen" thing and/or the fact that the worst people in the world will always seek out positions of power and being a nurse is a great way for terrible people to gain concerning amounts of power over vulnerable people.)

I'm still never going to this fucking hospital again unless I have literally no other choice tho. They have a long history of treating me and my family like complete and utter shit—like the horror stories I could tell I s2g they nearly killed my mom due to neglecting her severely infected leg for TWELVE HOURS—that place is run by people who literally only care about profit and staffed with the worst, most cruel and careless nurses I've ever met(and that sucks because they are partnered with the local university so basically ALL nursing students in my city train there) and the few that do give a shit are so stressed and miserable they can barely provide care at all.

Christ alive. What a fucking hellhole. Glad I was right about these last two days being a nightmare of bullshit and I never, ever should have been treated that way. Small comfort, but it's still a comfort.

Anyway I'm gonna go take my new, correctly dosed meds, eat something, and take a nap o7 sorry for all the venting, hopefully this is the last of it.

#if any of those goddamn nurses makes a tiktok about me I'll sue the whole fucking hospital do not test me #personal #kinda negative #mostly positive #cw medical neglect

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aptbelle · 2 days ago

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FOREST BOY

pairing: earthfairy!jun x female!reader

summary: y/n was a lonely little girl. she had no friends, just her imagination and the forest behind her home to get her through the day. the forest is where she’d run to to escape reality and day dream. one day, after running from her bullies, she meets a strange, yet charming boy, wen junhui. junhui shows her what lies deeper in the forest, and she is amazed. every single day, she goes to the forest just to see junhui, and they spend hours together. one thing y/n had noticed about junhui was that she never saw him outside of the forest, nor did he have any interest in leaving. they spend every day together until y/n has to go away for college. the news breaks junhui’s heart, and he goes away, which hurt y/n in return. four years later, y/n lands a job in her hometown, allowing her to come back home. she is excited to see junhui again, but he is nowhere to be seen, no matter how far in the forest she travels. however, she meets another boy, who is very similar to junhui, or so y/n thinks.

warnings: this story only includes jun and minghao! they are characters in this and not related to the ones irl. lower case intended! this story may have possible angst!

author’s note: this is a story i had started on wattpad a couple years ago, but i never published it. so i decided to continue it on here! i hope you enjoy! i am a student, so i will update as much as i can while juggling school.

next chapter: chapter 1

CHAPTER 0: PROLOGUE

THE branches on the ground crunched as 9 year old y/n ran farther away from the neighborhood. she could hear a group of girl's following her, which made her just want to go farther. she knew most of the forest like the back of her hand, but never really made it out this far.

"you can't run forever!" one of the girls from the group yelled, "i'll get you for tripping me!"

it's not like y/n intentionally meant to trip her, her foot was just in the wrong place in front of the wrong person.

she panted as she heard the voices of the girls grow louder. she looked behind her, and could see them coming after her.

not paying attention to whats in front of her, y/n felt herself knock into something, which caused her to fall back. she hit the ground with a loud thud.

"nrggh," she groaned as she propped herself up. she put her hand on her head and winced. her forehead was burning with pain, and seemed to be bleeding too.

"ow," she heard someone else say. she quickly turned around and saw a young boy sitting on the ground in front of her. he looked up, and his eyes widened.

"oh my," he said, quickly dusting himself off and standing up, "are you okay, miss?" he asked politely and stuck his hand out.

y/n hesitantly took the boys hand, and he pulled her up. "yeah i'm okay," she said, "are you?"

"yeah, im fine!" he said, smiling. the boy had chocolate brown eyes, some of the prettiest eyes y/n had ever seen.

"there she is!" a voice yelled from behind y/n. she quickly turned around, and remembered that she was being chased.

it seems like the boy quickly took notice of this, as he kept a hold on her hand. "come on, i know a good hiding spot."

y/n hesitated once again, not knowing if she should trust the mysterious boy or not. with the girls getting closer, she had no choice but to go with him.

she nodded, as the boy began to run farther into the forest with y/n following him. her thoughts began to take her over. 'what if hes just luring me away?' 'what if hes not even a kid and some short old man?' were just some of the things she worried about.

"over here!" he said, interrupting y/n’s thoughts. he pointed to a large bush beside a pond, and the two children ran towards it.

the ran to the other side and ducked down, hiding. y/n sat down on the ground, and put her legs out. both her and the young boy were breathing heavily.

"thank you," y/n panted, smiling at the boy.

he flashed a warm smile and nodded. "my pleasure," he said, bringing his knees up to his chest, "who are those girls anyway? are they your friends?" he asked curiously.

y/n crossed her legs, and chuckled. "no, far from it," she replied to the boy.

"then why are they chasing you?" he asked, turning his head to the side.

y/n sighed. "i accidentally tripped the 'queen bee' of the group," she explained, "and i think she got pretty mad, cause now i've been chased into a forest."

the two children laughed, but quietly so that the group of girls wouldn't hear.

y/n raised her head a bit over the bush, to look for the group of girls.

"damn, where is she?" one of the girls called.

"i don't know," the queen bee of the group said. "when we find you, we'll kill you!" she yelled, and the girls' footsteps stranded farther away.

y/n sighed a breath of relief, and went back down beside the boy. she looked at the pond in front of her in awe. she had never seen it before.

"i never knew that there was a pond back here," she said, "it's beautiful."

"it really is," the boy said, standing up and walking to the edge of the pond. he turned to y/n, and motioned her to come with him.

she stood up and walked to the boy, and crouched next to him.

"look," he said, pointing to something on the water. y/n looked and saw a small frog on a lily pad. it was looking at the two children, before jumping off of the lily pad and onto the ground in front of them.

the boy held his hands out and the frog jumped right into them, croaking. he cupped his hands and sat cross-legged on the ground.

y/n joined him and watched as he held the frog so gently. most people would be scared to touch a frog, but it was as if the boy had some connection to it.

he looked up at y/n. "you wanna hold it?" he asked, holding his cupped hands out.

"uhm," y/n hummed, never having held a frog, or any small animal, for that matter.

"don't worry!" the boy said, his eyes lighting up when he smiled, "just hold your hands out like i did."

y/n hesitantly held her hands out to the boy, and he carefully placed the small frog in her hands.

she tensed up, not wanting to hurt the frog in anyway.

"just relax," the boy said, "just keep your hands like that and it'll be okay."

y/n looked at him, smiled, and looked at the frog. she took a deep breath, and relaxed her body. the frog let out a small 'ribbit,' which made the two kids chuckle.

"it must like you," the boy said, and y/n nodded in agreement.

only a few seconds after he said that, the frog jumped its way up y/n’s arm. she began to feel her body tense up again.

"oh!" the boy noticed, and he reached to grab the frog off of her arm, "it's quite energetic, isn't it?"

"y-yeah," she replied, her voice shaky.

"don't worry, it's fine! frogs do that all the time," the boy said, as the frog began climbing up his arm too. "see?"

y/n softly smiled as the boy took the frog off his shoulder.

"i'm wen junhui, by the way," the boy said, holding his free hand out.

y/n took his hand in hers, and shook it. "i'm y/n," she said, introducing herself.

junhui smiled as he let go of xinya's hand. "you know what, y/n?"

y/n cocked her head to the side. "what?" she asked junhui.

he gave her another sweet smile. "i feel like we're gonna be good friends."

and that they were, good friends. would spend every day together.

jun showed y/n every little aspect of the forest. she visited him every single day after school and spent hours exploring with him. she had finally found a good friend.

but like all good things, it slowly came to an end.

y/n, now 17 years old, ran up to her room and slammed the door. she bit her tongue and sighed, letting the tears fall down her cheek as she remembered her mothers words.

"the only available dorms are going to be closed if you don't move in right now. this is the greatest college in the country, you need to go." her mother's voice repeated in her head over and over like a broken record.

'i can't leave yet,' she said to herself, sniffling and sitting on the bed. she thought about having to leave junhui, the one person who she trusted in that god forbidden town. the only person who ever listened to what she would say. the only person who cared for her.

'i just can't.'

she laid back on the pillows and stared at the ceiling, her thoughts running all over the place. the main thought that was taking over her mind was how junhui would feel when he found out. she couldn't bare the sight of seeing him hurt.

she sat up and wiped another tear that fell from her eyes. she turned her head over and looked beside her.

"hey there, m'lady," someone from the window called to y/n. it was junhui, sitting in the window sill and giving her a smile.

she jumped, before sighing. "christ, jun, you scared the shit out of me," she said, putting her hand on her chest.

jun laughed, and fully climbed into her room. "well thats what you get for leaving you're window o-" he paused, taking a look at y/n’s face. his smile slowly faded into a concerned look.

he quickly got on the bed and sat in front of y/n, cupping her cheek. "are you crying? whats wrong?" he said worriedly and wiped a tear that was falling on y/n’s cheek.

y/n put her hand on jun's hand on her cheek. "yeah, it's nothing though," she lied, "i was just watching a sad movie."

jun gave her a sweet smile, and used his other hand to wipe tears falling down y/n’s cheek. "aw, princess," he comforted her, "don't cry! it was just a movie."

jun took his hand off of y/n’s cheek and grabbed her hand. "come on! i have something to show you!" he said excitedly.

y/n’s sniffed and gave her friend a confused look. "i-in the middle of the n-night?" she asked, her voice breaking a bit.

"yeah!" jun replied, "this is the best time to go, now come on!"

y/n’s smiled at her friend's excitement as she was pulled off the bed. jun lead her to her open window and he stepped out.

y/n’s stopped in her tracks, and furrowed her eyebrows. 'out the window?' she asked herself. "we have to go this way?" she asked.

"yeah, why not?" jun asked, popping his head back in the window.

"what if i fall?" y/n’s asked, stepping closer to the window.

"you won't fall!" jun reassured, grabbing her hand again, "i'll catch you if you do."

y/n sighed, trusting jun, and following him out the window. thankfully, there was a part of roof under her window, so she was able to step on that.

she stood straight up on the roof with jun right in front of her.

"do you want me to help you?" jun asked, holding his hand out to her.

y/n waved her hand to jun. "no, no," she said, "im fine." she laughed nervously, knowing she'd most likely fall.

she tried taking one step, but as she thought, she almost slipped. "woah!" she yelled, trying to balance herself. thankfully, before she could ever fall, jun caught her.

"come on," jun chuckled, holding her waist and hand, "i got you."

y/n’s heartbeat quickened. she was more scared now than ever. she held on to jun as tight as she could until they got to the edge of the roof. jun let go of her, and she felt her whole body tense up.

"i'm gonna go down first," jun explained, walking over to the edge, "and then you can jump down, and i'll catch you, okay?"

y/n nodded, but she still had that gut feeling she was going to fall.

jun went to the edge, sat down, and pushed himself off the roof. y/n heard him hit the ground not too long after.

"are you okay?" y/n asked, still froze

"yeah, i'm good!" jun called from the ground.

y/n sighed. 'okay, i can do this,' she told herself, 'jun said he'd catch me.'

"come on!" jun called, "don't be afraid."

y/n gained enough courage to finally walk over to the edge. she looked down, and saw the ground. it had to be at least a 7 to 10 ft drop.

she took a few deep breaths to calm herself, and she copied jun and sat down on the edge.

she closed her eyes, once again telling herself that she would be okay. she began to count.

"1..2.." before she stopped counting, she put her hands down beside her, "..3!"

she pushed herself off of the roof, and began to fall to the ground. not even a second later, she felt hands grab onto her waist. she opened her eyes and saw jun holding her. she put her hand on his shoulders, and he set her down.

"see?" jun chuckled, looking down at y/n with his chocolate brown eyes, "it wasn't that bad!"

y/n chuckled, nodding in agreement. she took her hands off jun's shoulders, and he took his hands off her waist.

he grabbed y/n’s hand. "come on now!" he said, pulling her towards the forest. he began running, so y/n did too.

jun was a very fast runner, so y/n struggled to keep up without tripping. jun took notice of this, and slowed down to a good pace for y/n.

"what is it you're wanting to show me?" y/n asked as the two passed some trees.

"its a suprise," jun said as he began to slow down, "come on. its right this way."

he walked up to two trees, whose leaves were blocking the path between them.

"close your eyes," jun said to y/n, and she obeyed.

y/n heard the sound of leaves rustling, and felt jun pull her forward. she began walking, and felt her upper arms rub against the leaves.

"just a few more steps," jun said, and y/n could practically hear him smiling.

about two steps later, jun let go of y/n’s hand. y/n stood still, and heard jun stand beside her.

"open your eyes," he said. y/n slowly opened her eyes, and looked out in front of her.

she was standing on top of a hill that looked over the forest. thousands of trees were below her and jun.

"woah," she said, admiring the view, "its so pretty up here." she smiled, looking a jun, but he shook his head, and pointed to the sky. confused, y/n looked up, and her eyes widened.

up in the sky, thousands of stars shone. the moon was bright and big. the sky looked like one huge painting. it was...beautiful.

"oh my god," y/n said in awe, "jun, it's beautiful up here."

"you always said you wanted to go stargazing," jun said.

y/n heard something hit the ground, so she looked down, and saw jun laying down in the grass.

"so," he continued, putting his hands behind his head, "thats what we're gonna do."

y/n chuckled, and laid down right next to jun.

the stars were more visible now that she was laying down. the sight was so elegant that it felt unreal. y/n had never seen so many stars before that night. she was amazed.

"that there," jun said suddenly, pointing his finger, "is the big dipper."

y/n squinted her eyes, but couldnt see no dipper at all. "where?" she asked.

"right above my finger," jun said. y/n looked closer, and saw what looked like a huge spoon in the stars.

"i see it now!" she said, smiling.

"and if you look over this way," jun said, moving his finger over to the side, which y/n followed, "is the little dipper."

y/n looked and saw what looked like the big dipper, but small.

"woah," she said, awing at the two shapes in the sky.

the two watched the stars in the sky for what seemed like hours. jun told y/n everything he knew about stars and astrology. she could listen to him talk about it forever.

“why did you wait so long to do this?” y/n chuckled, “i’ve been wanting to do this for years.”

jun smiled. “i wanted it to be perfect for you,” he replied, “and this is the prettiest it’s ever been.”

y/n felt happy in that moment. she always felt happy with him. he was always so considerate. she felt happy doing something she had always wanted to do with him.

then, like a train, reality hit her.

she was leaving tomorrow.

leaving the forest she loved.

leaving.

leaving him.

it broke her heart knowing she had to tell him soon. she wasn't ready to leave, but she had no choice.

she was going to have to tell him in the next couple minutes, too, since she saw the sun rising in the distance.

"hey, jun?" y/n suddenly spoke up.

"yeah, whats up?" jun asked, sitting up.

y/n sighed. "thank you for tonight, this was really fun," she said to him, her smile wide.

jun smiled back. "my pleasure!" he said, "im glad you enjoyed it."

"but," y/n said, pursing her lips, which made jun's smile fade a bit, "i think i should head back. i don't want my mom finding out im not in bed."

jun nodded. "oh, yeah," he said, chuckling a bit, "it is getting late, isn't it?"

y/n chuckled and nodded, dreading going home, knowing that this was the last time they would hang out.

"do you want me to walk you home?" jun asked, interrupting y/n’s thoughts.

she nodded. "yes please," she said, and jun stood up, holding his hand out. y/n grabbed his hand and he helped her stand up. she dusted the grass and dirt of her clothes, and the two began to walk back into the forest. on the way back to y/n’s house, the two stayed silent, trying not to trip on any roots.

in about 30 minutes, y/n’s home came into view, and they stopped running.

"you know," jun said, looking at y/n, "we should do this again tomorrow."

y/n’s breath hitched. she was going to have to tell him right there. she wasn't ready. she didn't want to, but she didn't want to lead him on.

"hey, uhm," she stammered, biting her tongue, "about that." she looked down as tears flooded her eyes.

she felt jun place his hand on her cheek, and lift her head up. "hey," he said concerned, "is everything okay?"

y/n pursed her lips once again, and put her hand on jun's. she grabbed it and took it off her cheek, "i-i can't," she said, her voice breaking.

jun turned his head to the side, and furrowed his eyebrows. "can't what?" he asked her, his voice sounding worried.

"i can't go stargazing anymore," she told him, letting a tear fall down her cheek.

"why not?" jun asked, "did i do something wrong?"

y/n quickly shook her head, feeling worse by the moment. "no no," she reassured, "its not you trust me."

"then what is it?" jun asked, sounding hurt.

'i don't want to,' y/n said to herself, but she knew she had to.

"i-," she paused and sniffled, "i'm leaving tomorrow. for school."

'i did it,' she thought, feeling guilty about it all.

jun looked confused again, and as if he didn't believe her. "i thought you said you weren't leaving until a week before school started, and thats 3 months away."

y/n wiped a tear from her cheek. "the only available dorms need to be occupied right now or i won't be able to live up there. plus my mom's making me go right now, so-" she paused, and was now crying.

unexpectedly, she heard the sound of someone laughing. she looked up, and saw jun shaking his head, laughing.

"you can really be funny sometimes, you know," jun chuckled, but his eyes said otherwise, "you are joking, right?" he asked, his voice sounded hopeless.

y/n kept her head down, not wanting to tell him, or make eye contact with him.

she heard jun scoff, and looked up to see him shaking his head. "you're really leaving?" he asked, his voice breaking.

y/n nodded. "im sorry, it's not my choice," she told him, and he just laughed again.

"not your choice?" jun asked, his voice going from sounding hurt to sounding mad, "it was your choice to go to that school."

y/n kept silent, not knowing how to respond, but she knew she was just making it worse.

"so, thats it?" jun asked suddenly, "you tell me you're leaving then you go silent?"

y/n sniffled. she wanted to say something, but didn't know what to say.

jun exhaled, furrowing his eyebrows. "when are you leaving?" he asked, his voice calm, but the tone was still the same.

y/n wiped her tear. "early tomorrow, before noon."

jun pinched the bridge of his nose, and took a long breath. "so," he said, gulping, "this is it, huh?"

y/n felt her heart shatter when he said that. she really wished it wasn't 'it', but she had no other choice.

“im so sorry, jun," she cried, looking up, "i wish it didn't have to be this- jun?"

she paused, for when she looked up, junhui was no where in sight.

he was gone.

she didn't even get a chance to say goodbye.

#seventeen #kpop #jun #wen junhui #junhui #svt #svt x reader #junhui x reader #y/n #kpop x reader #forest #mythology #the8 #minghao #xu minghao #fairy aesthetic #fairy #love triangle

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juuzousuzuyaswh0r3 · 2 days ago

Text

𝔼𝕪𝕖 𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕪.

⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

You sigh as you brush your hair. It's a Friday night, meaning it's your night to be Sevika's little plaything for a few hours. You have had Sevika as a personal client for a while, and she met you through the brothel, as you used to be a previous worker there. However, you have decided to go with the whole 'self-employed' gig, and it's actually been pretty nice... other than Sevika.

She was one of your most difficult clients. Her attitude and her whole demeanor was definitely off putting, to say the very least. She was always very cold, very calculated in what she does. Very hard to read, and you hated that part the most. You couldn't stand the unpredictability that came with her.

You put the brush down, then reaching onto the vanity to put in your earrings and put on your other silver jewelry, such as rings and a dainty necklace. You then walk over to the bed, reaching for the dress you had laid out for this specific night. Sevika requested something in red for tonight. It was a short, skintight red dress with a low cut in the front and long sleeves. You let out a groan in annoyance as you begin to strip out of your clothes and slide into the dress, dropping your arms to your side with a huff. Why am I doing this again? Oh yeah, the money of course. "Jesus, I am so not ready for tonight."

Oh, if only you had known.

You finally get done getting ready and walk to the front door, picking out a pair of chunky black heels with red bottoms. You spray on your signature scent and some body glitter, and you slip on a sweater heading out the door.

When you reach the last drop, you inhale deeply and let it out. You show up here every Friday night, sometimes even more, but every time the hustle and bustle of the crowded bar makes you anxious. You never leave the house without being armed, whether that's a pocketknife or your piece stashed somewhere, but you still feel nervous, especially with the people Sevika brings around you.

"Finally."

You turn around to see your client, leaning on a nearby wall smoking her tobacco. She was dressed in her casual tight-fitting shirt, vest and black pants. You gulp at the sight of her intimidating form. She flicks her cigarette down and starts to walk towards you, looking at you as if your prey, and she's the predator...

"Good choice." She says in reference to your dress with a small smirk, reaching her arm out for you to grab it. 'Time to work,' you think to yourself as you wrap your arm around her muscular bicep. She leads you two into the bar, the lights low and flashy, the music booming. You instantly feel the eyes on you. People, especially regulars at the bar know that you come in usually on Friday nights, but it's almost like they have to cop a look every time you show, and every time, it brings a chill up your spine at their predatory gazes. It's usually men as well, and already you can't help but cringe a bit.

You reach Sevika's booth, her goons already sitting there bantering while they waited for Sevika to show. "Jeez, finally!" one lets out in an annoyed huff. "Oh, shut up, had to grab something." She nods her head towards you as she takes a seat, already looking around the table while effortlessly grabbing you by the waist, pulling you onto her lap. She had always done this before, claiming you as her "lucky charm."

She places her elbow on the table, holding her chin and rubbing it over her mouth while she looks at the cards she had been dealt. Subconsciously she begins to rub her hand up and down your smooth thigh as she thinks of what to play. This action makes you catch your breath in your throat for a minute, the music blurring a bit. "What are you even thinking? You need to relax..." You think to yourself.

Suddenly, you feel the womans strong hand give your thigh a firm squeeze, then speaks without looking up. "Mind getting us a few drinks, doll?" You get up reluctantly, but you comply. As you get up, she pats your thigh lightly and lets her hand slide against it as you get up. You start to make your way through the crowd as you suddenly feel your wrist get grabbed. You quickly look back to see who it is. Some drunk brute. "Hey angel-face, you come with anyone?"

You roll your eyes in annoyance and move to pull your wrist away, but he doesn't let up. He lets out a mocking cat meow, "feisty one, aren't ya?" You scoff again at his antics. "Can you fuck off?" You finally rip your wrist away and swiftly walk away, hoping to lose him in the crowd. Although you put up a tough front, you still feel nervous at the whole interaction. You felt almost gross as you finally reach the bar, and your eyes brighten just for a moment seeing who the bar tender was. your good friend, Nadia.

"Oh thank GOD you're here!" You exclaim leaning against the bar. Nadia turns to you and smiles. "Hey girl! You here with big mama tonight?" She teases while sliding you your regular, just rum and coke. You scoff mockingly and roll your eyes while bringing the glass to your lips. "God, don't remind me." Nadia brings herself over and leans to you from behind the bar. "Oh, c'mon, Y/N, it can't be that bad. I mean seriously, she's hot!" She exclaims while looking over at Sevika's booth. You look back while chuckling, seeing that Sevika every now and then steals a few glances over your form.

You huff and turn back to the bar. "She alright." you say while smirking. You are fully aware of how hot Sevika is. The smell of her cologne and cigars and liquor, her muscular physique, her whole display is... Yes, hot. Nadia's eyes go wide, mockingly slamming her hands on the bar. "Girl, are you JOKING me right now? The things I personally would do." She then proceeds to open her hand, pulling it up to her face and pretending to lick down it. You laugh at just how down bad your friend is for your client. "Damn girl, I can recommend you or something!"

Nadia chuckles in response, her face slightly going a bit more serious. "No, that's all you, girl. Just looking at how Dommy-Mommy over there is staring you down makes me lose a bit of faith." She jokes, nodding her head towards Sevika's booth again. You look back and now she is staring you down, you can't tell whether or not its hungrily or angrily, though. You sigh. "Yeah, you may be right, I got to get back over there with her drink before she pops a blood vessel." You joke, and Nadia turns away while chuckling to fix Sevika's normal drink. Whiskey on the rocks.

You take both of your drinks while saying your goodbyes to Nadia, then squeeze your way back through the crowd, luckily this time untouched. You reach Sevika's booth and set her drink down in front of her. She nods in approval and motions for you to sit back down on her. You comply. One of Sevika's goons look up at you, smirking while obviously checking you out, weirding you out as you lean back into the woman in slight disgust. you don't want to make it obvious that you are disgusted as usually you are told to behave by Sevika if you don't look exactly perfect, like her own personal doll.

She squeezes your thigh in reassurance, not looking up from her cards once, but she has a feeling of what could possibly be going on at the table. Finally, her goon clears his throat and begins to speak. "How about we make a new bet." He suggests, still looking at you up and down. Sevika glances up from her cards with her cigar in her mouth. She raises an eyebrow at the man. "Go on." He smirks before speaking. "How about, if one of us wins, we get the girl for the rest of the night..." He looks slyly at you now, predatorial even, you gulp at the suggestion. Sevika leans back into the booth and removes the cigar from her mouth, pinching it in between her fingers and rests her wrist on the table, while blowing out the smoke.

"And what if you lose?" She calmly asks. You scoff a bit and look down at her in disbelief. There's no way that she's just okay with this, right?

...Right?

He grins now confidently at Sevika. "If you win, I'll personally pay for next Friday's session with the girl." You turn your head to look in your lap now, dumbfounded that Sevika was even entertaining the idea. She smirks at the man, and gives your thigh a squeeze as she then slides it slightly up so her fingertips are under the hem of your dress, teasing at the idea of going up further. Goosebumps appear obvious on your skin as you swallow.

"Deal."

⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

lmk if ya'll want the 2nd part !!

(this is inspired sorta by a c.ai chat LMAOOO)

#sevika x reader #sevika arcane #arcane #pt 1 #juuzousuzuyaswh0r3

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sebastianstangirl01 · 1 day ago

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✧˖° Bring The Lion Out | Pogues & Rafe

pairing - the pogues x cameron!reader, rafe cameron x sister!reader

warnings - violence, language, attempted assault

summary - a fun day at the beach quickly took a turn when the the baby of the group gets cornered by a couple of kooks who don’t have good intentions. luckily she has her friends and siblings who will do anything to protect her.

authors note - i am going to be using the name audrey again for this fic, obviously this fic is not at all related to my last one about rafe. using audrey is just easier for me instead of y/n, mainly bc it is my name lol and i can just type it mindlessly. but obviously feel free to use whatever name you want and imagine the character anyway you want! her nickname is going to be baby, kinda like baby in dirty dancing, so that’s what most everyone is going to call her! i hope you all enjoy!!

requested - yes!

not proofread!!

✧˖°

summer in the obx was nothing less than magical. the weather was hot during the day, perfect for getting a nice tan, and cooler when the sun went down making thin blankets or sweatshirts your best friend.

audrey “baby” cameron has always loved summer. in the past she would spend her time surfing with her sister sarah or going on jet ski rides with her brother rafe. then sunset boat rides on the druthers with her family always ended the night.

but this year was different. ward was dead and rose took wheezie and disappeared off the face of the earth, not answering any of the many phone calls both sarah and audrey made. luckily she still had sarah and rafe, who miraculously made up and are closer than ever.

audrey has still had a hard time though, being pretty much shielded from all the drama that occurred over the past couple of years, she was blindsided by everything. for the first couple of weeks she had never felt more alone.

realizing that they had to step up for their little sister, rafe and sarah did everything they could to help her grieve the family they once had. the pogues had taken audrey under their wing as well, all of them always having a soft spot for the now 16 year old who had only been 13 when this all started.

sarah was still living with john b, but rafe had bought his own house on figure 8 after selling their family home, none of them wanted to live there anymore with the false memories of the fake family they had. audrey had moved in with him and rafe did his best to make sure it was perfect for her.

the biggest surprise to audrey was that rafe was actually pretty friendly with the pogues now, to the point that they all hang out together pretty frequently. which audrey is thankful for, especially because this meant he was spending less and less time with topper and kelce who she hates.

today was one of those days, the waves were supposed to be perfect and jj had challenged audrey to a surfing competition. so rafe threw the boards into the back of his truck and the brother and sister duo were on their way.

when they arrived at the beach it wasn’t very crowded, much to audrey’s delight, there were a few teenagers further down the beach but that was about it. sarah and the pogues pulled up right beside them and everyone got out, setting up their spot for the day.

“hope you’re ready, baby. those waves are calling my name.” jj teased the younger girl as he waxed his board

“no, i hope you’re ready. don’t want you to get embarrassed about getting beat by a 16 year old again.” audrey fired back making kie laugh and pat her shoulder

“you got it, baby.” kie ruffled her hair, ignoring the look of betrayal on her boyfriends face

“hey! you’re supposed to root for me!” jj pouted and kie just shrugged

“baby’s obviously the favorite.” john b said as he walked up behind audrey and wrapped his arm around her shoulder

“right, just how many years of friendship? right down the drain.” jj mumbled to himself

audrey smiled at his dramatics and walked over to sarah who was sitting in a lounge chair underneath the umbrella. the 16 year old carefully sat down on her lap and sarah chuckled shaking her head fondly and adjusting into a more comfortable position. sarah looped her arms around audrey’s waist and pulled her back against her chest.

“can i help you?” sarah twirled a strand of her sisters hair

“nope, you’re just comfy and i’m waiting for your husband to finish waxing my board.” audrey closed her eyes at the feeling of sarah playing with her hair like she used to do when they were kids

“almost done, jeez!” john b called and the girls giggled

“how are you feeling?” audrey asked and sarah smiled using her other hand to gently rub her slightly swollen belly

“i don’t have morning sickness anymore, so i feel great.” sarah sighed heavily luckily at 20 weeks the worst of her morning sickness had passed

“i still think the baby should be named after me, audrey jr is perfect. we can call her aj for short.” audrey wiggled her brows

“hey, we still don’t know if it’s a boy or girl.” sarah reminded her and audrey just shook her head

“it’s a girl, i just know it.” audrey smiled

sarah just smiled fondly at her sister and began to quickly braid her long hair so it wouldn’t be in her face while she was surfing. at some point kie and pope had flopped down beside them under the umbrella, pulling out the snacks and drinks they had packed for the day.

cleo was standing with jj and john b, criticizing the way they handled the boards. and rafe had gone back to his truck to grab his own chair and the bag that had their towels and some sunscreen in it.

the weather was perfect today, a soft breeze cut through the humidity and the cloudless sky was a bright blue color. audrey found herself wishing that she could spend every day like this, sitting on a beach with her favorite people in good weather.

“boards ready for ya, baby!” john b walked over to them holding audrey’s board on his hip

“thanks, jb! last one in’s a rotten egg.” audrey jumped up taking her board before running towards the water

she laughed hearing jj curse and chase after her, the cool water made audrey tense for a moment before her body became used to the temperature and she paddled out.

kie, pope, and john b joined shortly after audrey and jj while cleo and sarah built a sandcastle and rafe sunbathed. the waves were perfect, just as they had predicted.

the group caught wave after wave, and eventually kie deemed audrey as the winner of her and jj’s little competition.

“no way!” jj complained flopping back onto his board

“sorry j but baby had ya beat.” kie patted his chest

“don’t be a sore loser bro.” pope chided him and jj scoffed

“i am no such thing!” jj held his chest in offense

“bullshit.” pope coughed making the others laugh

jj just narrowed his eyes before lurching forward and knocking pope off his board into the water. audrey laughed wiping the water that splashed onto her face from her eyes, while kie just shook her head at their childish behavior.

jj and pope popped their heads up out of the water and quickly knocked the remaining three off their boards making them join them in the water.

“not cool.” john b splashed jj, who was responsible for knocking him into the water

feeling her stomach grumble in hunger, audrey pulled herself back up onto her board. intending to swim back to shore and eat one of the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches cleo brought.

“i’m heading in, i’m starved.” audrey announced and the group gave her a thumbs up

“i’ll come with ya, need to check on sarah.” john b said ignoring the whipping sounds pope and jj made

the duo paddled towards the shore, john b waving at a couple other surfers who recognized him. audrey huffed out of breath as she made it to the beach, struggling to prop her board on her hip.

“need some help?” an unrecognizable voice asked from her left

audrey lowered her board and saw 3 boys she didn’t recognize standing there, but from the looks of their ray-bans and vineyard vines swim trunks she knew they had to be kooks.

“uh, no thanks. i can manage.” audrey gave them a polite smile

“come on, that boards like twice your size. we don’t bite.” the same one said

“unless you want us to.” another one smirked

“really. i’m good.” audrey clenched her jaw becoming uncomfortable

as she went to walk away one of the guys grabbed her board, stopping her.

“hey, we’re trying to be nice here and help you out. the least you could do is not be a bitch about it and let us.” the first guy spoke again

“excuse me?” audrey gaped at him, shocked that anyone would talk to another person like that

“you heard him, so be a good girl and let us help ya out. maybe you can repay us tonight, we love to share.” the third guy said

feeling alarm bells ring in her head, audrey knew she needed to leave. she dropped her board and turned to walk away, but was stopped when a strong hand latched onto her arm and pulled her back into a chest roughly.

“where you going, huh?” the second guy asked

“let go of me!” audrey exclaimed, jamming her knee into his crotch making him curse and drop his hold on her

“fucking bitch!” the first guy scoffed, pulling her hair making audrey yelp

before anything else could happen, yelling was heard and suddenly audrey was ripped away and rafe tackled both remaining guys to the ground.

audrey fell to the sand and looked up to see rafe and john b ontop of two of them punching them in the face. the third guy tried to get up but was punched in the face by cleo sending him back to the ground.

“audrey!” sarah exclaimed dropping to the ground beside her sister and pulling her into her arms

the others made hurried onto the beach when they heard the commotion and pope and jj hurried to help john b and rafe while kie immediately ran to sarah and audrey who were now joined by cleo.

“hey, are you ok?” kie asked touching audrey’s knee

“yeah. i’m fine.” audrey winced and touched her head that was tender from where her hair was pulled

“jackasses.” sarah seethed rubbing her hand up and down audrey’s arm

it took both john b and jj to pull rafe off his guy, who’s nose was all bloody and most likely broken. the other two guys in similar shape.

“you so much as glance in my sisters direction again and i’ll fucking kill you.” rafe threatened and the three guys immediately ran away

the boys turned back to the girls and rafe knelt down in front of audrey, grabbing her hand and giving it a soft squeeze. his jaw clenched when he noticed the hand shaped bruise on her arm.

“are you ok?” rafe asked pinching her chin to get her attention

“yeah. just a little freaked out, but i’m ok.” audrey nodded

“well those sons of bitches won’t bother you anymore, baby. scared them so bad i’d be surprised if they ever show their faces again.” jj chuckled

“better not, or i’ll cut em.” cleo flipped open her knife making audrey smile

“no one messes with baby.” pope pushed cleo’s hand down

“damn straight.” john b nodded squeezing her shoulder

“thanks guys.” audrey smiled, feeling so incredibly lucky to have friends who care as much as hers do

“let’s not let them ruin our beach day, we have hours of daylight left.” kie said moving to stand

“yeah then tonight we can have a bonfire and roast marshmallows.” sarah smiled before looking at her little sister. “how’s that sound, baby?”

“sounds good to me.” audrey grinned

“good, now it’s time for lunch and you need to eat. i’ll get you some tylenol too for your head.” rafe grabbed audrey’s hands and pulled her to her feet before wrapping his arm around her

audrey chuckled at his care, which was a stark contrast to the way he was a couple of years ago. the group headed back over to their spot and continued with their beach day.

they ended the night back at rafe and audrey’s house, utilizing the large patio with a fire pit and comfortable chairs placed all around it. as audrey held her marshmallow over the fire, she looked around and realized just how lucky she is to have these people in her life.

to have people who care and will always be there for you.

#outer banks #rafe cameron x sister!reader #sarah cameron x sister!reader #the pogues #the pogues x reader #rafe cameron #sarah cameron #john b routledge #jj maybank #kiara carrera #pope heyward #cleo

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roseyodditea · 10 hours ago

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Hiii (llove ur harumasa work)

If u don't mind writing for both haru and Seth (cuz both of them have cute Lil fangs my god those teef)

Could I request love bites from them? Like they saw their s/o and felt they looked extremely cute that in the midst of a hug/snuggle/cuddle they just Chomp or any extra scenarios

I'll leave the rest to u but extra dose if fluff Plz!

🍮

You are so right I do love their little teeth.

They Bite Because They Like You - Seth/Harumasa x gn!Reader (Seperate)

Summary -> About 500 words each. Barely proofread because it was written in the waiting room of a vet's office <3 Warnings -> None! The biting isn't too suggestive

It was a cozy, rainy afternoon and after what felt like hours of begging and pleading you had convinced Seth to forgo his training for the afternoon and cuddle up with you to watch a movie. Between the light pattering of the rain on the windows, the lit candles being the only light source, and the big fluffy blanket, it was hard to not feel relaxed. You were thankful to have this time to enjoy with your sweet boyfriend. You had never dated a feline thiren before, so it wasn’t unusual for Seth to do something you weren’t quite used to, but this was new. Your sweet boyfriend was… shaking? Vibrating?

You picked your head up just slightly to get a look to make sure everything was okay, only to see him intently focused on the tv. Nothing seemed wrong, so you put your head back down on his chest, hearing the noise and feeling him shake again. After a few seconds you realized what it was. He was purring and it was the best noise you’ve ever heard.

“You are adorable,” you coo and see his ears twitch a bit as he looks down with a clueless expression.

“Huh?” He tilted his head a bit, curious.

“You’re purring! You’re all comfy and cozy and purring!!” You tease and poke his side only to hear the high pitched noises he let out in protest. “Cute!”

“I am not cute!” He let out a shrill giggle, a bit ticklish.

You continued to tickle him relentlessly, pinning him under your body weight as you listened to the noises and snorts, your hands moving to tickle his stomach. “You’re the sweetest and most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.” Seth lets out a particularly loud laugh before reacting on pure instinct, reeling up to sink his teeth in your bicep before he realizes what he did, looking at you blankly, bracing himself for the teasing that was about to come.

“You just bit me like a little kitten!” You teased, finding it adorable despite the slight sting from the sharp fangs on your skin. “Like you had enough pets and you just bit me! That’s so cute.”

“No! I’m not cute!” He chokes out another laugh before biting more up your arm, like a petulant little kitten who was losing a fight. It doesn’t phase you at all, not minding the little raised red marks you’d have peppering your arm once you were done. How could you stop when he was being this adorable?

Seth finally wiggles away to the other side of the couch before he pouts and moves out of your grasp, sitting up and looking away from you, his ears flattening and twitching lightly as he glances back to see if you’re paying attention.

“Nooo I wanted to cuddle,” you sigh and watch how he wasn’t budging. “...Truce?” Seth looked over and smiled softly. “Truce.” He replied before moving to lay on top of you, resting his head on your shoulder, his arms wrapped around your torso.

“Are you going to start purring again?” You ask a bit excitedly.

“Probably. I’m enjoying this time with you.” Seth murmured and nosed into your neck.

… “Can you meow for me?”

“Absolutely not.”

Publicly being Harumasa’s partner was… difficult to say the least. Walking through Lumina Square on a weekend with the flash of fans and press every now and then was a pain on its own, but the scolding words from some of the super fans who wanted to “steal your place” was overwhelming. It was too much, and you ducked into an alleyway and sat down on the concrete, catching your breath while Harumasa tried to get the press off of his back. You sat and a fat street cat came over for pets, helping you relax even further. You didn’t hear the footsteps until the cat ran away, Harumasa letting out a frustrated huff. “Hey, love.” He cooed softly and sat next to you, pulling you into his arms. “I’m sorry today was ruined.” “It wasn’t ruined,” you mumbled and leaned into his touch, closing your eyes. “I got a little overwhelmed and needed a breather. It’s okay.” Harumasa was quiet for a bit before he spoke back up. “Well… Let me make it up to you. I know what you want~” A teasing tone dripped off of every single word he said, those golden eyes shimmering in mischief.

“What are you thinking?” “I’m thinking we'll go back to your place and make some cookies.” He offered and immediately a little light shined on your rain cloud. “Yeah see? There’s that smile I love so much.” He stands up and pulls you up with him.

“Fine, fine that sounds much better than being mobbed.” You let out a small laugh as he hoists you to your feet. Hand in hand, you both walked out of the alleyway and got maybe fifty steps before more fans and cameras found the both of you.

Random questions were thrown out, people asking for autographs or photos shouted over the insults being hurled at you. Harumasa just stopped, not wanting to give them the time of day after he just wanted to see your smile. He looked over, the look in his eyes saying he had a plan. “Can I do something over the top, ridiculous, and weird?” You tried to tune out all the people before looking at him. “What?” “C’mon. Yes or no?” “I-” one more call of someone threatening to ‘steal’ Harumasa from you sets you over the edge. “Yes. Go ahead.” Harumasa lit up before suddenly picking you up, twirling you around before attacking your face and neck with kisses and love bites, even playfully tugging the skin of your cheek just to hear the way you roared in laughter. He was being overly affectionate as you shrieked and shrilled, repeating ‘I love you’ like a prayer as he held you close to him, acting like the crowd wasn’t even there. Eventually they got the idea and dispersed, but Harumasa didn’t let up. Instead he had moved on to just biting and nipping playfully and laughing as you squirmed.

“Ah! Teeth! Teeth!” You placed your hand on his forehead and tried to push him away, the two of you practically wrestling in public and laughing. “Stop! Mercy!” You laugh as Harumasa pulls away and places one more dramatic kiss on your cheek before grabbing your hand.

“See? Now they’ll leave us alone because they think we’re freaks.” He laughs and gives you another playfully hug.

“You’re so weird,” you caught your breath as the last of the laughs died off on your tongue.

“Oh but you love it~” He lifts your hand to his lips for what you assume was a kiss before sinking his teeth into the back of your hand.

“Quit it!” You flick his nose and laugh as he dramatically reels away, stumbling until he’s back in step with you.

A/N, but a bit more personal than normal -> I'm still learning about the landscape and etiquette of Tumblr because I've only really browsed until recently. So excuse me while I experiment with trying to create a style that's recognizable at a glance. Also are there like other community things I need to work on? I know I'm a very shy liker and reblogger and I'm trying to break the habit in my mind and actually outwardly show support more. I say that but my OCD makes it hard sometimes. Anyway have a good day thank you for reading <3

#oneshot #asaba harumasa #harumasa x reader #zzz harumasa #seth lowell #seth lowell x reader #seth x reader #seth zzz

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