#i am masc but there is a part of me that still feels like the little girl who wanted to grow old with another girl
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Gym Crush (Part 2)
Read Part 1 by @exploratorytfs.
It’s been a year and a half since the swap, and not a day goes by that I don’t think about how crazy it all was. You might be wondering—why would I trade the life I had? I mean, I had it pretty damn good.
Before all this, I was hot. Not just passable, but the kind of hot that turned heads. I had worked my ass off to look the way I did—hours at the gym, eating clean, all of it. And then there was Edgar. God, Edgar. This dude was a walking Greek statue: broad shoulders, a thick chest, veins for days. I mean, it wasn’t just the muscles; it was the way he carried himself. Confidence, swagger, like he knew he could get whatever he wanted. And yeah, I guess at the time, he was my boyfriend.
But even with all of that—being hot, dating a hunk like Edgar—I just couldn’t do it anymore.
You’re probably thinking I’m nuts. I mean, guys like Edgar don’t come around often, especially not for guys like me. Let’s be real, most dudes who look like him wouldn’t even give a trans guy like me the time of day. So, yeah, I was lucky. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself. I should’ve been happy, but the truth is... I wasn’t.
Why? Well, Edgar. He wanted me to be this perfect, submissive, fem bottom. And look, I’ve got nothing against that. There are guys out there who rock that vibe, who own it, and good for them. That’s just not who I am.
I know, I know—saying this out loud would probably get me canceled in half the gay bars across the country. But I really am masc for masc. Always have been. I’m not saying it to be some sort of gatekeeper or anything; it’s just... that’s what I’ve always wanted for myself.
And it’s not just about who I’m attracted to—it’s about me, too. My whole life, I’ve been trying to prove I’m man enough. To the world. To other guys. Hell, even to myself.
Transitioning was the first step, obviously. But it wasn’t enough. I wanted to look the part, you know? That’s why I inked myself up. And the gym was my second home, but even after countless hours of sweat and dedication, I could never quite bulk up. No matter how much protein I shoved down or how hard I lifted, my frame stayed twinky.
Don’t get me wrong—there were plenty of guys who loved me for it. I mean, twinks are kind of a whole thing, right? A lot of guys would’ve killed to look like I did, but that wasn’t the point. It didn’t feel like me. I didn’t just want to be a guy; I wanted to be a man. The kind of man Edgar was.
And Edgar... he didn’t see me that way. Sure, he’d call me hot, touch me like he couldn’t get enough, but then he’d taunt me. He’d weaponize my body. Every time he called me “pussy boy” or made some comment about how he was more of a man than I was, it chipped away at me. He might’ve thought it was playful, but to me it was cruel. And I couldn’t take it anymore.
Initially, I thought if I just stuck it out, maybe things would change. Maybe he’d see me differently, respect me more. He didn’t. My self-esteem tanked. I started dreading the time we spent together, and eventually, I just... stopped putting out.
And of course, that’s when things really fell apart. Edgar doesn’t do well with rejection—big shocker, right? So yeah, I wasn’t exactly surprised when Edgar came sliding back into my DMs after. But honestly, I wasn’t planning on responding. I’d already been down that road, and I’d told myself after the last time—no more.
Still, when I saw what he was pitching, I couldn’t help but be curious. Swapping bodies with a cis guy? At first, I rolled my eyes. Like, thats even possible. But the more I thought about it, the more curious I got.
The guy Edgar had in mind? Not exactly a stunner. When Edgar sent me his photo, I remember staring at it for way longer than I should’ve, trying to pick out anything redeeming. The dude was... average. A little too soft in the face, a little too plain. But, to be fair, there was some potential there. Barely.
His eyes were nice, though—kind of soulful, in a way that made you think he might be a good guy deep down. And the kicker? He was taller than me by a good 6 inches. That alone had my interest. But let’s not kid ourselves; the real selling point was the fact that he had a cock.
That was the dream, wasn’t it? My own cock. I’d spent years dealing with the disappointment of not being able to fully live out the life I wanted. Transitioning had given me so much, but this? This was the missing piece. In this kid’s body, I could finally live out the fantasy that had been sitting in the back of my mind for years.
I could be the top I’d always wanted to be. I could take guys home, pin them down, and breed them with my own cock and fill them with my own cum. No more strap-ons, no more awkward positioning—just me, fully in charge, giving them EVERY. SINGLE. INCH.
Maybe with a little muscle here, a little polish there, I could make it something great.
So I said yes.
I’m not gonna lie—the first year in this body wasn’t easy. Adjusting to a new frame, new habits, new... everything? Yeah, it was a grind. But if there’s one thing I’ve always had, it’s work ethic. Between that and this body’s naturally high testosterone—and okay, yeah, I might’ve dipped into some steroids here and there—I’d say I built myself up pretty damn good.
Look at me now. I run my own training service. I mean, it’s not like I’m the most skilled coach out there or anything. But honestly? That doesn’t seem to matter much. Guys line up for my programs, and we all know why. They don’t just want my advice—they want to look like me. I’m walking inspiration. Living proof that the dream is achievable, or at least that’s how they see it.
And man, the way people treat me now? Everyone’s calling me “bro” or “dude” every other sentence. Not that they didn’t before—I’ve always leaned into that vibe—but there’s something about hearing it now that hits different. Maybe it’s the weight of my cock swinging in my shorts as they say it. It’s like the final piece of the puzzle clicked into place. Everything just feels... right.
And the best part? This manhood of mine? Oh, it’s gotten around.
I mean, come on. Looking like this, how could it not? Guys want me. They crave me. They crave my fleshy, thick, no kidding, natural, beer can of a cock throbbing inside of them.They’ll do whatever it takes to get a night with me, and honestly, who could blame them?
184 notes
·
View notes
Text
Of my 2% capacity to be attracted to anyone, my type is like 90% women, 5% pretty men and 5% men you would swear are super fucking manly, and never questioned being straight and cis, but are now suddenly *stressed* that they can't figure out why their attraction to me [fully socially interpreted as a woman and labelled that way up until relatively recently] feels incredibly fucking gay
#you are a straight man correct? Yes. Attracted to someone you view as a woman correct? Yes... But you are afraid that makes you gay?#Afraid is a strong word but also stop asking stupid questions#The end result is I tend to date a lot of men who either then realize they are women or bi or gay and I am there when they are taking out#the messiest parts of that on whoever they are with at the time#and on one hand it means I created a space that made them feel safe enough to self examine#but on the other hand I'm their last stop when the fallout hits#OR they just realize they find the expectations put on them for masculinity to be really oppressive even negligent or abusive#I would say I need to adjust my strategy and stop trying to 'woo' men the same way I don't actually -flirt- with women#but I have already solved this problem by refusing to date ever again#The retrospective is funny though#The problem is I am attracted to men in a gay way and to women in a gay way but no one tells you the consequence of that and looking#like a pretty butch is that it really confuses the straight guys#Like why is this guy who's usually hmmm... as dom and masc as you would imagine suddenly in my lap and red and having entire feelings#about the way I am holding his hip? He doesn't knoww either and he's really pressed about it#And that thing messy lesbians do where they act jealous of you and also like they want to fuck you at the same time that looks like a red#flag from hell? Imagine dragging that out of unsuspecting straight guys -menTM-#They don't know why they are acting like that around me either but it's going to go one of two ways#either it will seem overtly threatening and aggressive to everyone involved including themselves or they'll have enough social sense#and tact to be playful about it but still not be sure if they are flirting or whether they like me at all#I have patience for one of those and unfortunately[?] it's the guy who's in my lap looks like he's being tortured and can't find his footin#not the guy telling me how much he's going to beat my ass at some game and I am going to like it or some macho bullshit#And I will be oblivious for the first 50% of it#because if there are gods they are cruel#He never realized he's actually the little spoon be nice and give him a minute#He can't tell me he likes me if he doesn't know he likes me but I opened a jar for him and asked him about his feelings and now he's warm#I actually ended up never dating many women at all because of weird lesbian mixed signals and things#At least not while they were women#I don't flirt or make friends I just decide that people are mine and start taking care of them [while respecting their autonomy and shit]#and I am starting to think this is how I make problems for myself#yes I am playing 5-d chess with gender and am now a he/they but it is not what it is cracked up to be
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Although I'm a trans man, I cannot deny the deep down very sapphic part of me from when I was younger. He still calls out to me every once in a while
#like. sometimes i play a game or watch a show where two women (or femme presenting folks) are in love and it triggers a full gender panic#i am masc but there is a part of me that still feels like the little girl who wanted to grow old with another girl#like i already know that im pan#it's like. when i feel for a woman my gender feels more fluid but in everything else i feel like a man??#what is that. why is gender so weird???#probably bc we shouldn't have reached this point as a society where everything has a a bajillion sub-identities LMAO#i am just a guy who very sapphicly loves women sometimes ig 😭#it happened when i played life is strange and now it's happening again playing little goody two shoes#honestly when i say i feel like a man that isnt even true lol i just like using he/him pronouns and looking more masc but#i dont think if myself as a man that much. hmm 🤔#ANYWAY#personal
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
part of me still feels like i might be sort of genderfluid and/or bisexual but just traumatized about it. no idea anymore
#like. remember that. remember following me back when i was bi and genderfluid lol. awhile ago now#its like whatever to me now. its really hard for me to pin anymore#like when i feel like genderfluid and bi again i feel like i can be a lot more open about shit#but i dont really even know. its hard#i feel like. and this is just like. me yknow. i feel like if i wasnt dating a man i'd be missing out on something that i want#like i dont know if i would be content just marrying a woman and being satisfied if i. didnt have a husband. yknow what i mean#and its like. if *I* wasnt a man i'd be sad. if in a relationship i wasnt someone's boyfriend or husband i'd be sad about it#so this is what wraps back around to me being a gayboy about it yknow#its complicated because no matter the gender label outcome. i would STILL want testosterone and surgery and masculine terms#and i KNOW this doesnt mean anything for some people. like some women do all that and are women#so i could just be not-a-man and still want all this anyways#but i also know it doesnt make it any less complicated for some of these women. who also had to think about themselves a lot in this way#its this weird notion of whatever ends up happening i... physically want the same shit anyways. THAT stays almost completely static#so that for me is a breather. its just like.... idk ... if i ever got in a relationship with a woman#i'd feel like i would be intrinsically. missing out on something i wanted#which i think is what a lot of burgeoning gay kids feel generally. right#like if you went down this stringent path laid out for you that you'd be missing out on. your life that you want. right.#i dont know what i want out of that really. sometimes i feel like im too out of it to pursue anything romantically anymore anyways#i do sometimes think it'd be cool to be a butch woman. kinda..?#i think what i like about that is the masculinity of myself is gender non-confirming if i were a woman#which if im a masc guy i'm just like. your average dude. like. right#but i wanna be a bear about it. i wanna fag it up about it. and my metric of being transgender im not ... average about how i present mysel#can someone teach me how to fag it up. the construction worker part of this is working right#sighhhh.... i have to go shower. maybe i;'ll have a shower epiphany or something. sighhhhh#sometimes in my head being a woman would be alright. but its like.. i dont even know how to decode it#i think some people would call what im feeling being genderfluid. some people might call it something else. it depends on like. you yknow#and what you want. and what makes you smile. me? not quite so sure anymore#and i think its like. this sounds like its laid quite bare right. but its hard to word even.#but sometimes im like. am i just like. talking ...? yknow what i mean.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
My Liege
bottom!ftm!knight Xiao x top!masc!king reader
☆ Word Count: 1,128 ☆
AFAB Language Used | Don't expect a part two this was in the vault for months 😭
CW: Non-Con, Dacryphilia, Fingering, Virginity Loss, Belly Bulge, Riding, Squirting
Reader Discretion is Advised
As the king of Liyue, it's expected for you to have personal bodyguards. Between you and your husband, Zhongli, you have 4 knights.
Ganyu, Keqing, Shenhe, and Xiao. You typically take Xiao and Keqing due to their rationality and level heads. On trips to smaller and safer places you only bring Xiao.
These particular trips allow you to spend some time with your secret lover. You still think back on the first time you started your new relationship.
"May I ask where we're going, your highness?" Xiao asks, following you to an unknown location.
"Just somewhere to get away from the crowd. It was a little too much to handle today." You reply, leading him to a secluded and worn down building. "Do a perimeter check." You enter the place and look around, happy to find a chair that's still intact.
"Yes sir." Xiao looks around the area and defeats any hilichurls and slimes that were lingering around. After double checking, he stands in front of the entrance. You grab Xiao and force him to sit down with you, pushing his back against your chest.
"Sir?" Xiao whispers worriedly, assuming there's a person somewhere.
You lean your head down to talk in his ear. "Shh." Your arm is wrapped around his stomach so he doesn't move, your other hand tugging his tank top upwards.
Whenever you tell him to be quiet, he listens and doesn't say a word until you allow him to. So even as you push his top all the way up and grope his chest, he stays silent. Even if he isn't comfortable with it.
"Sorry but I have to use you, Xiao." You kiss his neck. "Zhongli doesn't have time for this kind of thing anymore..." Your hand moves to pull his pants down.
Xiao closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, hating the way you're touching him and how your bulge is pressing against his ass.
"Your body is so pretty, Xiao." You play around with his clit. "Do you know how pretty you are?" Your fingers move down to touch his increasingly wet cunt.
Xiao tries his best not to cry, he hasn't felt this weak in years. He hadn't cried and was convinced he became unable to since his friends died. He couldn't even remember what it was like to cry.
"Pull my pants down for me."
He shakily unzips your slacks and pulls them down. You grab his hips and force him to rub against your bulge. "Come on, do it yourself."
Xiao grimaces and starts rolling his hips. You go back to playing with his clit, making his movements inconsistent and shaky.
"Good boy." You groan and turn his head to look at you.
Xiao comes with a whimper, tightening around nothing. You bring him into a heated kiss, leaving him even more out of breath than he already was.
You turn Xiao to face you completely and bring his hand to the waistband of your boxers. "Do you want it, sweetheart? Tell me you want my cock inside you."
"I...I want your- your co...cock inside me." Xiao frowns and pulls your underwear off, your hard length is making Xiao nervous. "My liege...I'm- I've never done this before...it will hurt, and I need to have the strength to protect you.."
"You can take it, Xiao. I know you can." You grab his sides and hover his body over your cock.
"Y- yes, my liege. I apologize." Xiao's voice shakes. He sucks in a breath before you lower him down, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood as your tip pushes through his entrance. He tries his hardest to relax as you shove your full length into him, stretching out his virgin cunt.
Your cock twitches in excitement. "Shit, you feel better than Zhongli."
Xiao struggles to adjust to the foreign feeling, breaking out into uncontrolled sobs. He looks gorgeous with his tummy bulging, he's so small..
“Look at how deep I am inside you, sweetheart.” You make Xiao look at his stomach. He frowns, crying harder. You gently grab his cheeks with one hand and lift his face up. "You're even cuter when you cry." You say before bringing him into a kiss. You rub circles around his clit to make him more comfortable. Xiao whimpers and moans into your mouth, subconsciously moving his hips as you bring him pleasure. He's extremely inexperienced but he tries his best to kiss you back. He hates this but he wants to make you happy. You pull away and look at Xiao's embarrassed expression.
"Was it bad..?" He asks in between sniffles. He’s worried he disappointed you with his bad kissing skills.
"Of course not.." You kiss his wet cheek. "Do you want to make me feel good?"
Xiao nods and tries wiping his tears in an attempt to stop crying but they just keep flowing. You take his hands and place them on your shoulders. “Hold onto me and lift yourself up.”
He squeezes your shoulders and raises himself up while shaking.
“Now bring yourself down.”
Xiao sinks down onto your length, a soft whine leaving his trembling lips.
“Good boy, keep doing that.”
He buries his head in your shoulder, sobbing heavily as he attempts to ride you. You don't do anything to comfort him and let him cry his heart out.
“It hu- hurts-” He whimpers. “It hurts so much-” His strong facade crumbles to pieces.
“You’re doing so well, baby…doing so well for me.” You reassure him.
“Please…please help..” His body aches from crying so hard. He feels humiliated, he’s supposed to be strong and able to withstand pain but he can't handle it. He can't handle you.
“Aw, you’re too cute.” You place your hands on his small waist and take over, raising his body before slamming him down. His eyes roll back as you use his body like a fleshlight. He can just barely stay conscious.
Xiao sobs as you fuck him, overwhelmed by an intense mix of feelings. Humiliation, pain, and…pleasure. It feels…good? Xiao’s eyes widen. No, it feels amazing. He arches his back and comes, squirting like a fountain.
You pull him off you despite the very strong urge to keep fucking him. You don't want to overstimulate him, it’d be hard to explain why you had to carry your own guard home. Xiao looks at you with a dazed expression.
“You did so well, my knight.” You have him sit on your lap. You caress his cheek and he leans into your touch.
You give him time to recover before helping him get dressed. Your boner eventually went down and you never got to come but Xiao’ll make up for it next time.
#wicks🕯works#top male reader#male reader#genshin smut#genshin impact smut#genshin x reader#genshin x male reader#dark content#sub xiao#xiao x reader smut#xiao x male reader#xiao smut#xiao genshin smut#bottom xiao#sub character#ftm character
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
Twisted wonderland and our world is supposed to be very different right ? What if like- the society was actually really accepting of lgbt stuff around there . And the reader/yuu being from a region where such matters were considered very much taboo . So he's scared about like- you know being into his own gender and the twst boys are like- "fym"
Genuinely I feel like this is so good. Because like I love to think that MC/yuu is like,,, really scared to be out,,, a lot of this is gonna be about trans masc/trans readers because that's what I am,,, but there's alot of thoughts so
I'll talk more about male reader but like I'd be fucking terrified as a queer trans man to be out to an entire school, much less an entire school with a reputation for having the worst most villainous personalities. And while I live in America, not perfect or even great, its better than a lot of people's situations. But unfortunately I live in a heavy red state so <3
But still, like the bullying and harassment of high school life while being not only openly queer but also trans masc was like,,, the worst,,, so suddenly being transported into this magical world, where I have no idea what the politics of it are like would be awful,
But the thought that a world so full of magic and whimsy, is just accepting of queerness is so cathartic to me. And I'm Shure there are still parts that suck and are homophobic/transphobic but to think that twst is a world where that stuff is rare and shamed is beautiful to me
Now as a trans person, my thoughts
Sebek "WHAT ARE YOUR PRONOUNS SO I CAN YELL AT YOU CORRECTLY" zigvolt
Malleus, one of the most respectful, calls you child of man until you tell him your pronouns and then boom it's like he had the list of endearments ready to be selected
Ace who totally tries to punch you in the nuts and is horrified at the power you weild
Vil who is the embodiment of "all those years in the closet, and you still dress like that???"
Vil who respects your personal style, who helps you find clothes that make you feel less Dysphoric
Like yuu/you/MC being so terrified when they decided to come out to the first year gang, and being fully prepared for the rejection and ridicule. Only to be met with confusion on why you think they would react with anything other than love and acceptance?
I like to think that Sam's shop is like THE place to be during pride Month, and that he sells like,,, magical T (and E) ykyk
Magic spells for like "tiddies be gone" fire ball style bottom surgery type shit
And besides just being trans, being gay is probably surprisingly easy
Malleus and Leona where you are soooooo worried that this is gonna be some forbidden love thing, that the backlash for being gay would mean you can't be with them
Meanwhile Leona's brother and sister in law are welcoming you with open arms as Leona's partner, Cheka is happy he's going to have a new uncle
Lilia is happy such a nice young man loves his weird lizard son. And grandma mal is overjoyed that her grandson is so in love with you! The future king and prince consort will be such a happy union for the Briar valley.
Meanwhile you are just so worried 😔
Same with vil and neige, you are terrified for the backlash of being openly queer but people send in fan art for pride and just in general because y'all cute
Love all of this. I've been very Dysphoric lately so maybe 👉👈maybe trans masc reader hcs... Hehehe
#squiddy♥︎talks#twst x reader#twst#twst wonderland#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#disney twst#malleus x reader#leona kingsholar x reader#leona x reader#twst vil x reader#twst vil#vil schoenheit x reader#vil schoenheit#malleus draconia x reader#twst x male reader#trans!reader#trans masc
217 notes
·
View notes
Note
hey lovely i wanted to request masc ellie x a hyper femme reader like me 💋
𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: thank you anon, this is such a cute request! this may be short cause i am on writers block, but still enjoy reading!
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. explicit sexual content. 𝐦𝐝𝐧��.
—୨♡୧ now playing 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐥𝐲𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 (𝐥𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐳𝐨𝐮𝐚𝐢)
as opposites attract, at least they do to ellie…
εїз masc!ellie making you sit pretty, whilst she kneels to slip on your shoes, planting a tender kiss to your knee followed by a faint pat to the planes of your thighs, inferring to you that you're good to go
εїз masc!ellie leaving small pecks along your poor little finger once a perfectly manicured nail snaps off, gingerly brushing the pout off your soft lips with the pad of her thumb, before uttering a soft spoken promise that "we’ll get it fixed, baby"
εїз masc!ellie impatiently waiting on her lovely baby to climb into the passenger seat of her car, all giddy, flashing a new fresh set of shimmery nails at her, whose face never misses to light up like a billboard, too goddamn cute to be fair
εїз masc!ellie nuzzling the flat of her palm between those supple thighs of her very own passenger princess, fingertips nonchalantly riding up just below the hem of your skirt, faintly drawing shapes along your silky serene skin
εїз masc!ellie toying with the ribbon you so delicately wrapped around your hair, the tiny milky colored pearls glued to your nails or that sparkly pendant of the necklace, she just lovingly clipped to the back of your neck, instantly turning into mush at the sight of your puckered lips and eyebrows knitting together, "shh, it's alright, baby, i'll fix you back up"
εїз masc!ellie having you sit at her feet, all sweet and pliable, resting your cheek against her knee, dreamily gazing up at her with those eyes of yours shining with cherries and wine for no one but her, whilst she tenderly pats the back of your head, "what a sweet little thing you are for me, aren't you?"
εїз masc!ellie studying your features in awe, as you meticulously accentuated them in shades of rosy make-up, letting her train of thought wander off to what a shame it would be to see it all smudged, running down that prettily fucked out face, once she gets to have you all to herself
εїз masc!ellie snapping polaroids of you all dolled up, in her favorite pieces of lingerie, and exposed under her enticed fingertips, hiding your bashfully flushed cheeks, which she'll keep tucked away inside her wallet or phone case
εїз masc!ellie gently slipping the embroidered velour of your light dolly stockings up your legs, littering lukewarm, wet kisses along what the material is bound to engulf, lightly brushing your velvet clad skin with the tip of her nose, savoring your irresistible floral scent
εїз masc!ellie tangling her velvety tongue with yours, tying cherry knots in the cup of your mouth, dragging out each and every kiss, desiring to earn what felt like a lingering taste of your delectable raspberry flavored lip gloss
εїз masc!ellie taking her sweet time to trail kisses above the delicate little bow gracing the waistband of those lace panties, meshing her most beloved softer parts of yours to a present only for her very fine hands to unwrap, before fucking you stupid against the sheets
εїз masc!ellie whispering sweet nothings into the shell of your ear as she tends to your drooling princess parts, doting praises dripping off of her freckled lips like honey, sliding her glistening fingers deeper and there go your candied mewls like music to her ears, "that's right, baby, keep feeling good for me, just like that"
༺♡︎༻𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: @scarstarlet @millersaurora @anchoeritic @ellabsprincess @seraqhites @cowgirlcherrie @abbyskitty @destielcore @elliessknife @dropsofs4turn @milllersfae @cherriesxinthespring @dixonsdolls @digit4lslut @porcelainbambi @angvlita @kissesskittens @fxiryverse @elliesbelle @starologist @kokomos @xioriae @machetegirl109 @abbys-wife @lightpinkprincess444 @hazywazysmind @winfleurs @elliephobic @lias-writings @lonelyfooryouonly @beforeimdeceased @angel4abby @hehatesmati
︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶⠀୨♡୧⠀︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶︶
#ellie williams#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams the last of us#ellie williams fanfic#ellie williams imagine#ellie williams x reader#ellie the last of us#ellie williams smut#ellie williams headcanons#ellie williams drabble#the last of us#tlou#[♡ᵎ] 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Stunt Work | Johnny Cage x Trans Male
Pairing: Johnny Cage x Male Reader (trans male/masc)
Summary: you’re a stunt double working on one of Johnny’s films, he’s annoying to work with and you think you both mutually hate each other…at least you thought.
Warnings: NSWF! 🔞 MDNI!!, mentions of afab anatomy, there’s almost no plot but I tried my best so it’s a little layered.
Word Count: 3.2k
A/C: I didn’t really proof read this a whole lot, so ignore any errors pls <3
Part 2 here <-
“Alright, Cage, you gotta commit to it man stop flaking— grab his shoulder, flip him over and leg lock.” The director instructed Johnny who was shirtless, sweating and in an overall fussy mood because he couldn’t for some reason commit to performing the stunt on you all the way.
“Hop off my sack, man. I’m trying.” Johnny breathed heavily.
“If I may-“ you tried to put in a word of advice but it was quickly shut down.
“Listen, G.I Joe, zip it-“ Johnny barked, all cocky.
“You both been acting like cats and dogs all day, cut it out!” He yelled and then turned to Johnny, “What’s gotten in to you? You’re literally a martial artist, an actor, and you keep stopping at a simple leg lock?” The director whispered at him, patting his back.
The director not reprimanding his shitty behavior and only talking about his stunt block made you scoff loudly.
Johnny gave you a brief look before looking away and shaking his head, “I know I am, I’m the best there is— I’m Johnny Cage for god’s sake.”
“That’s the spirit! Now, another take! We’re gonna get this!” The director yelled.
You rolled your eyes and got to position, as well as Johnny getting in to fighting stance in front of you.
“Action!”
Johnny started throwing his moves at you, you dodged them successfully and then the sequence he struggled was next. He grabbed your shoulder, flipping you over on to the padded floor harshly which made you groan, and then finally performing the leg lock on you— extending your leg between his thighs on the floor as you grunted. You thought he finally got the move down until you felt something firm against your thigh as he kept it in a hold. You hesitantly look down and notice that between his legs was a rock hard erection making you go completely still and your eyes widen. Of course, he noticed your reaction and he immediately let you go and stood up with an embarrassed look on his face. A blush covering his cheeks as his shades hid part of his face.
“Way to go, Johnny! That’s my boy!” The director yelled.
You got up from the padded floor and cleared your throat, a heat coming from your neck. Not really looking at him as you were ready to run off set to your trailer.
“Are we done?” You look at the director and ignore Johnny’s flushed face.
“Yes yes, go ahead and take your breaks.” He patted an immovable Johnny’s back.
Without even a second thought you rushed to your trailer, a bunch of feelings and thoughts flooding your head. You were confused as to why you felt an attraction to the asshole, you were supposed to hate his guts, right? But now, since it’s pretty obvious he didn’t wanna do a leg lock all day was because he didn’t wanna reveal the rock hard boner he got in that position with you it made any rationality of in your head vanish.
An hour passed since you were trying to relax in your trailer, that is until you heard a few firm knocks on your door making you jolt and walk to it.
“Listen, if the stunt needs more rehearsing I might shoot myself-“ your words caught at the back of your throat as you saw a showered Johnny in front of you with a raised eyebrow and an amused expression.
“Easy, G.I Joe. It’s me.” He grinned at you.
“No- we ain’t doing this shit. You cannot just knock on my door with a smile and expect me to forget how much of an insufferable dick you’ve been.” You went to close the door on his face but he shoved his foot in and firmly moved his way in.
“What the-“
“Unclench your ass, I just need to talk.” He walked in with his hands in his pockets, he was wearing slacks and a navy blue dress shirt with his usual shades.
You slam the door closed as you turn around and near him, “The only reason why I’m letting you in is because I need this damn job— I would have kicked your ass by now.”
Johnny smirked, completely not phased by your red angry face, taking his shades off and looking in to your eyes with his big brown warm eyes. “Listen, I know I was a bit of a dick but I like you despite our quarrels on set. It’s an eat dog eat dog world out there, baby.”
You scoff loudly, “Baby?”, a redness in your face.
Johnny walked around your trailer, looking at your room and decorations on the walls. “Never had anyone call you pet names huh, stud?”
You shake your head and follow behind him, “Forget that. Why the hell did you have a boner when you did a leg lock on me?”
His cocky smile suddenly falters as he turns around to meet your eyes, his face uneasy. “That’s what I came to chitchat about. I’d appreciate if you didn’t go around to gossip about that. It wouldn’t be good press.”
You laugh dryly, “So you didn’t come to explain yourself but rather save your ass?”
Johnny rolled his eyes, “I’m a star, I don’t need any bs like that getting out there you understand? Plus, do you honestly think I could have controlled what happened?”
You shake your head, “That’s not the point. You know how many accidental boners I’ve experienced while doing stunt work? There’s friction when doing stunts it happens, it nothing perverted, But all of the actors I’ve worked with have apologized, just out of decency.”
Johnny actually stayed quiet, pondering on what to say, “I’m…I apologize. You know, I don’t usually apologize— I’ve been so out of it today and you being around just messed with my focus.”
You approach him more, “You’re blaming me for not being able to perform a stunt? I was distracting you?” You say bitterly.
“I’m not blaming you. Only explaining. I- I didn’t want to do the stunt all the way because I knew the second I got you on that leg lock…you’d feel it.” He looks away, a hint of vulnerability for the first time all day.
You sit down on a chair, taking a deep breath, “It wasn’t the friction.” He continued, looking at you with a certain emotion that you couldn’t quite tell what it was.
“What-“
“It was you. Moment you walked on set.” He played with the rings on his fingers, a more serious look on his face.
There was a warmth that overtook your body, a shock. “But-“ you were cut off.
“Just let me get this out alright, G.I Joe? I know what it looks like; ‘Johnny Cage getting a boner over another guy’, it’s not ideal for my image. It’s not ideal for Hollywood if it got out that their poster boy for masculinity, heterosexuality and womanizing was…not necessarily that all along.” He swallowed deeply now, sitting down next to you and looking away.
“…I guess you’re more layered than I thought. A dick with shades of gray.” You say, trying to be somewhat lighthearted at the rather shocking truth.
Johnny chuckled softly playing with his hands, “I am a dick sometimes, that I don’t deny. But the truth is, most of what people see is a facade— As most publicity of actors in hollywood is. I was raised in to this industry to fit a certain mold and you do it long enough you sort of become that regardless…” he trailed off, now looking at you, “As corny as it is, I haven’t felt a more genuine attraction in years.”
You blush, taking a deep breath, “So, have you always liked guys? Or is this something…new?”
Johnny thinks deeply, “Always. I get with anyone really. I’m an actor, of course I’ve gotten with dudes.” He grins at you, a hopeful look in his eyes that urged you to elaborate on your own thoughts.
“I guess we finally found some type of common ground Hollywood, I’m pretty…fruity.” You cheese.
“You are..?” His brown eyes turned to a dark color suddenly, a sort of hungry expression in his face. “And you…fancy me also, right? I see it in your face…”
You take a deep breath, “Careful with the ego but yes.” You chuckle, “Think I was…quite mad that your little slip up on set didn’t turn me off.”
Suddenly you feel his hand on your knee, his thumb grazing over your pants, “Come on then stud…we both want it.” He says in a deep husky voice.
A shiver runs down you leg, “Isn’t it unprofessional to get involved with- with coworkers?”
He chuckles, “Oh sweetie, unprofessional is my middle name.”, he glided his hand up your thigh now, studying your every expression as he did.
“Good point…” you breathe faster, a warm feeling festering in your lower abdomen.
“Shhh…shhh.” He whispered, “Let me just…I’ve been harboring a boner all day because of you, we’re doing this…” he trailed off, his hand now reaches the button on your jeans undoing it.
“Wait I-“ you stand up in a slight panic, “There’s something I gotta say before we proceed…”
Johnny raised an eyebrow at you, confused and stands up with you, studying your face.
You start pacing around, “I’m trans. A trans guy. I just wanted to say something before we-“
Johnny chuckled softly, a relief on his face, “Sweetheart, I thought you were gonna tell me something horrific.” He touches his chest, “Don’t worry about it, stud.”
Your face turns amused, “Are- are you sure you know what I’m saying?”
Johnny approaches you now, rubbing the back of your neck with his warm hand, “You’re a trans man, I understand. But a man nonetheless.”
You grow goosebumps as he touches you, “That doesn’t bothe-“
“It doesn’t, This is Hollywood baby, you know how many different folks I’ve gotten down with? I got you.” He now made his hand trail down your chest, rubbing it passionately.
Your breath hitches and you become warm all over, his hand then trails down your abdomen to under pants, his hand reaching the waistline of your briefs. Pulling you close against his chest with his free hand, “Now, come here, be a good boy…” he kisses your lips for the first time firmly, all warm and wet.
You sync your lips with his and hum against his mouth, a groan leaving his throat the deeper he went. Sliding his hand in your briefs now, rubbing your crotch up and down making you moan against his mouth.
“Fuck…” you hiss, making a grin form on his lips.
Johnny then suddenly slips his hand out and starts undoing your pants, but before he pulls them down he looks in your eyes for approval. When he sees that you nod with a gulp he immediately pulls then down to your knees leaving you in your briefs, “Don’t worry, honey…” he whispers as he cups your jaw and kisses you on the cheek. He pulls back while gently guiding you to the couch, your back against it as he finishes pulling your pants off. There was a primal look in his eyes as he crawled between your legs and was on top of you, his chest laying against yours as he leaned in and kissed your neck desperately.
“Shit-“ your breath wavers, your skin hotter than the sun.
“Mmm- taste so good-“ you heard a groan leave the back of his throat, he then trailed his hands down to your hips and gripped them tightly. “You okay? You ready?” He looked in to your eyes for any hesitation— as cocky as he was you saw an undeniable softness in them now. A want to please, a want to do something for someone. The way his eyebrows quirked up slightly waiting for your answer, like a kid looking for some sort of validation. For someone to tell him yes and that he’s doing well. It made you reconsider everything you knew about him so far. Maybe he was just a man desperately trying to look for connection in an otherwise soulless industry that broke people. He wanted connection, he craved it— he wanted realness with someone.
You nod, rubbing his sides tenderly. He closed his eyes briefly at that, sighing deeply with a small smile on his lips. Then, he reached the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his shirt, immediately going to unbuckle his belt and his pants. At a point, you saw he was struggling to get them off, maybe it was nerves, maybe it was frustration, so you sat up sightly between his legs and reached up gently to his belt undoing it with ease. You later unbuttoned his pants as well, but giving him space to take off his pants on his own. Johnny stayed completely quiet when you did that small act for him, observing you with a want that grew tenfold but with a side of that softness he emitted no matter how hard he tried to hide it. Big brown eyes like chocolate itself.
You chuckle up at him, “What, Hollywood?”
The actor snapped out of it, shaking his head, sliding his pants down and throwing them to the floor with the other clothes. “God, I wanna fuck you.” He said bluntly, taking his boxers off now, his dick in full view and without any hesitation going back between your legs, touching the hem of your briefs with his fingertips and with a sudden halt.
“Johnny, it’s okay…” you look down at him with a shy yet flushed face.
Johnny nodded, a grin back on his face as he used both of his hands to slide your briefs off— your heart accelerating at how slow he was going. He finally slid them down your legs and immediately his vision went your throbbing pussy— like an inevitable reaction. The actor licked his lips as he positioned his thighs and hips accurately, leaning over you. He looked in to your eyes as you felt his burning cock hitting your inner thigh, teasing your entrance.
“Hnnngh-“ you groaned, almost desperate now as you moved your hips against him, a trickle of sweat down your temple.
Johnny let out a chuckle as he placed his finger below your chin to look at him, “I ain’t even in yet handsome…take a breather.”
“Don’t tell me what to do you ass.” You chuckle and playfully slap his shoulder.
Johnny smirked at your behavior, reaching down between his legs and grasping his length that was oozing with precum already. Positioned it at your core and carefully slid past your folds with his hips— carefully studying your face as he laid down over you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders.
“Ahh-“ you moaned softly, digging your fingers in to his lower back…trying to push him faster inside.
“Easy…easy….” He said with reassurance, his mouth agape as he finally made it all the way in making him grunt as he felt your walls clenching around his cock.
Johnny then took no time nuzzle in to your neck as he pulled his hips back slightly and then rammed in to you with no warning, making you let out an earth shattering groan against his ear. His arms locking around your waist tightly now as he held you against him like you were air itself and he’d die without it. There was a slight tremble to his body the more he rammed in to you.
“Jesus- fuck-“ your eyes grew a bit watery as you cursed, a coil already tightening in your lower abdomen while you tried to gain your breath.
“Oh- Wrong J name, baby-” He moaned with a bit humor beneath, peppering your neck and jawline with kisses as his buckling against your wet tight pussy became more frequent.
It was a cumulation of moans, groans, curses and senseless phrases between you both. You noticed his face was flushed, his cheeks pink as he pulled back a bit to study your face. “That feel good, sweetheart? That feel- Fuck-“ he whimpered, and it was the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. “Answer…” he continued, with a stern tone now.
Your chest heaved faster as he picked up his speed, “y- yes, god- so good-“, your hands gripping his lower back more as he pushed in and out of you.
“You’re gonna take it like a good boy- mmm, sweetheart-“ He groaned as he grabbed your hips now more harshly, you could tell he was close as well the way he became more direct and possessive. A constant harsh rhythm was formed by his hips, his dick reaching in to the deepest depths inside as he hit your g spot over and over with no mercy. With no breaks or signs of stopping, you whined loudly and shook— feeling your height coming.
A the coil inside you soon snapped, making you whimper as you reached your climax— coming all around his swollen length. Johnny leaned in to your neck, moaning against it as he came right after you— his warm come filling you up to the brim.
“Fuck- fuckkkkk-“ he groaned as he bit down on your neck and then licked alongside your jaw.
Wrapping your arms around his neck, you held him close as you tried to come down from the electricity that was currently running through you both. Johnny then reciprocated… sighing loudly, still inside you and wrapping his toned arms around your waist not caring how sticky and sweaty you both were against each other. He was content of sorts, a small smile playing on his lips, closing his eyes against your chest as he listened to your quick heart.
“You okay, Hollywood?” You rub his back tiredly.
Johnny chuckled lowly, “I feel like a million bucks, baby.” He leaned in and took a long sniff of your neck, “I love how smell-“
“That’s sweat, don’t patronize me-“ you laugh, your face red and full of embarrassment as you realized he hasn’t made any attempt of moving out of you.
“Oh shush— you have a musk. You might get me addicted, sweetheart.” He rubbed your sides now, his hair sticking in all directions.
You snort loudly now, rolling your eyes at his charming yet annoying behavior, “Okay fancy pants, can you pull out of me? I need to pee, I don’t want a UTI!”
His eyes widen at the realization and he carefully pulls out, “Oh- oh I apologize, stud. Next time I’ll remember-”, the actor says apologetically and stands up with a slight tiredness, carefully helping you up as you wince.
“You’re getting pegged next time that’s what.” You say humorously with a grin as you walked to the bathroom in your trailer and he walked behind you like a lost puppy.
“Oooh, challenge accepted, G.I Joe!”
#johnny cage x reader#johnny cage#there needs to be more x trans male fics#johnny cage x you#johnny cage x male reader#johnny cage mortal kombat#mlm#johnny cage is bi#idc
575 notes
·
View notes
Text
Pairing: max verstappen x male reader (could be read by masc presenting people)
Summary: sometimes things go right in the moment but will they always be right? can they survive through the hardships of love? can their love hold the test of a treacherous path of love?
a/n: part 7 is here, sorry if the upload was later then i usually post, i hope its longer than the previous one, i've been a little busy with some things and exams but here it is now. I hope this makes up for the short fic and disappearing for the past few weeks, been really invested in the races ngl :)
-> do not repost, copy or translate my works nor post them anywhere else. Read at your own risk. Reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated.
[series masterlist]
liked by ynln-official, redbullracing, mickschumacher and 993,135 others
maxverstappen1: thank you for all the love you have given me @ynln-official. Can’t wait to make more memories to cherish. Love you, max
view all 47,309 comments
ynln-official: love you so so much (heart emoji) maxverstappen1: love you more
mickschumacher: so proud of you both, always have your back :) ynln-official: thank you for always being there (never thought of you as someone sentimental *wipes tears*) mickschumacher: don’t even
danielriccardo: oh we will be feeling like third wheels soon landonorris: tell me about it maxverstappen1: you two are acting like you weren’t already third wheeling
user63: get yourself someone who gets you flowers when you feel down people user37: facts!!
liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, redbullracing and 978,811 others
ynln-official: 2 years together and your smile still has the same effect it did on day one, though we have known each other for longer than I can even remember but the memories we have made through them, I’ll always cherish them. I can’t wait to love you till the end of times (heart emoji) but that doesn’t hide the fact that we were outed, yes we technically work in the media but still it doesn’t give any news site or person to publish an article about someone’s relationship no matter their sexuality. Outing someone (in any setting) is not acceptable should they be a public figure (adult or not) or a normal person. People should seriously be taught how to act like actual decent human beings in school at this point. Though I do want to say thank you for all the love everyone has shown both max and I, all the messages and comments of support meant a lot :)
view all 34,948 comments
maxverstappen1: I love you so much that charles gave me ‘if you hurt my friend’ talk again ynln-official: that’s Charles for you, you know (shrug emoji) charles_leclerc: you are still not off the hook max
user86: you tell them y/n!!! so proud of you
landonorris: I thought this was for max why is this making me tear up georgerussel: in the same boat as you mate maxverstappen1: and just imagine how I am right now
user57: this is serious??!! Watch them shove it in our faces now smh user82: not so kindly fuck off dude *liked by ynln-official*
user30: god the pictures they have used of each other... makes me feel single as hell user13: them holding hands it’s just ahhhh
{a small snippet}
You opened the fridge to pull out vegetables for the stir fry, you could hear max in the other room working on something. With the vegetables now washed you grab the cutting board and knife to start cutting them up while the chicken defrosted, light music playing in the background as your focus was on the vegetables until someone’s arms wrapped around you making you smirk knowing it was max “I thought we were supposed to cook together” max says as he rested his chin on your shoulder “you were working and dinner was getting late so…” you said turning around in his arms to face him “well what are you making?” he asks as he picks up a green capsicum “just a stir-fry with rice…easy and quick” you say as you turn around again and begin cutting again, you don’t hear a response from him but max putting a wine glass on the counter and you hear a pop , you look at him with an eyebrow raised, he just looks at you before pouring the wine in the glasses “to us telling the world…and to our love” you couldn’t help but laugh a little before raising your glass and take a sip “I love you” you say as max smiled and kissed you softly “I love you too. Now what can I do to help you my love” he asks as he looks at the chicken “anything but the chicken” you shake your head and move from your spot “cut the vegetables” you say as you laugh “be careful of the knife” you add max’s hand touches the blade “I know how to use a knife y/n” he says “yet you are scared of raw chicken”
Light touches and laughter surrounded the two of you for the rest of the night. Though both of you knew the hate would be inevitable but right now nothing mattered to either of them except each other.
i haven't proof read this so if there were any mistakes, i'm sorry. But i hope you all enjoyed this. I hope you all have a wonderful day/night ❤️
tagging: @leosxrealm, @miloformula123fan, @woozarts @eugene-emt-roe
#eli writes#f1 x male reader#x male reader#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#max verstappen#max verstappen x ftm reader#max verstappen x male reader#f1 imagine#f1 instagram au#f1 x reader#f1#formula one#formula 1#f1 smau#f1 social media au
129 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gojo punishing his puppies!
satoru gojo, you, and his bff 🩷
nsfw minors dni.
au! where everyone is happy no one dies and theyre happy forever
satoru will always be here for his cute bunny!! even if his cute bunny decides to not be so innocent and turn out a cock hungry whore for his bsf, but thats okay! he can always punish you both. ♡
pairings: best friend! gojo x bimbo! reader , geto x bimbo! reader , geto x gojo
characters are probably ooc for the sake of the fic!! sorry..but hot men!!
Warnings: 18+ ,use of pet names, porn with the tiniest of plot, manhandling, degradation, threesome, oral (fem receiving), p/v sex, anal (masc recieving) pussy slapping, spitting, choking, slightest praise if you squint, virginity loss, hickeys, missionary, backshots. bimbo reader, lmk if i missed anything.
NOT PROOF READ SORRY!!😔
You knocked loudly on Gojo’s apartment door. You tried to clean up your runny nose, you did, and you also tried to stop your eyes from tearing up, but you couldn’t, not after you woke up extra early to get all cute for your boyfriend ex. you were supposed to go to a cute date just you and him, but instead you stood there like an idiot as you watched your own boyfriend make out with a girl outside the cafe you were supposed to meet him at.
you decided to show up early to surprise him. Instead he ended up surprising you. You didn’t bother confronting him. instead, you blocked him on everything. you didn’t know what to do, so you called your best friend.
“toru?” your voice clearly trembling from your crying.
“You okay, y/n? What happened, you sound shaken up-”
“Toru! are you home? need you really bad right now..please.” you didn’t know why you were calling him, it isn’t that serious.
“Yeah. ‘m home. friend’s over though, you sure you still w’na come?” he said, sounding unbothered. it was probably something about your boyfriend
“mhm. be there in 5.” you hung up. you wondered, was his friend cute?
here you were, infront of gojo’s door.
“Hey pretty, come in.” he hugged you slightly before you walked in
you bent over to kick your shoes off at the entrance. you only came to cuddle and let him comfort you like no other.
“ m’ so sorry im coming out of nowhere.” you smiled as you looked up at gojo through your lashes.
he was always taller than you maybe by a couple feet. you always admired his beauty, how his hair was so soft and perfectly layered. his blue eyes, the way he looked at you, a way he never looked at anyone else. his pale skin, and his pink perfect li- what am i thinking. you stopped before you got too carried away.
“dont worry sweetheart, its nothing. come, let me introduce you to suguru.” he took your wrist gently and pull you into the living room.
suguru? you thought. a part of you wished he looked as good as gojo.
“Suguru, this is y/n. Y/n this is Geto. I think its funny how both of my best friends have never met eachother.” he let out a slight laugh. so cute you thought.
“hi geto kun.” you gave him a bright smile. slightly crossing one arm to your other to press your boobs together “its nice to meet you!!” you giggled. he was cute, just like gojo, maybe he could be your next boyfriend.
“no need to call me by my last name, feel free to call me suguru, its nice to meet you too.”
he smiled back at you. he didn’t say much but you didn’t mind. he had a soft voice, higher than gojo, but still a tiny bit deep. it made you feel fuzzy.
“go ‘head and sit with suguru, im getting you a jacket. you need to cover up.” he glanced down at your outfit.
you didnt think you were wearing anything bad. a white crop top, tied around your neck by strings, with a jean miniskirt, leg warmers and of course your white toes.
yes maybe you were showing your breasts to much.. and nipples, and stomach. and too much thighs and legs. but you thought it was fine, a part of you wanted to be seen like this.
“hi suguru kun!! watchu watching?” you skipped over to him, making your boobs jiggle on purpose. you caught him looking.
“i dunno, some action movie. you gonna come sit with me and watch the movie, pretty?” he said tilting his head slightly, smiling, while patting the empty space on his left.
you were surprised at his boldness, maybe it was because gojo wasn’t here you thought. you paid no mind and went along with it.
“mhm, dont mind if i do.” you sat next to him, your plush thighs touching him. he was about to place his hand on your thigh until..
“hey, y/n here. i got u some pants and a hoodie.” he was clearly ticked off, jealous maybe?
“I dont wanna!!” you whined, as you got up. feeling geto’s eyes on your butt.
“mm.. theyre to big anyway toru!! and its so hot.” you hugged him as a way to convince him into letting you keep what you had on.
“atleast put the hoodie on, bunny.”
“why should i, hm?” you gave him a sly smile.
“so you don’t seem like an attention seeking whore to my friend.” he flicked your forehead
“ughh, fine.” you were definitely taking this off later.
gojo stared at you looking annoyed, “weren’t you just crying?”
oh. right, you remembered the whole reason you even came here.
“oh yeah, i forgot. I cought shin kissing some other bitch in-front of the cafe he was supposed to be taking me to, its nothing though, you made me feel better.” you smiled at him before grabbing a beer from the fridge. you chugged it before adding on, “i blocked him on everything though.”
“I dont get why you didn’t do that from the start.” he said flicking your forehead. again.
“ouch!!” you pouted
a few hours went by, you had gotten to know geto a little more, and you were pretty drunk, they both scolded you the whole time but you didnt care, you wanted to forget about your ex.
it was around 10pm when gojo decided to say..
“oh yeah, suguru is staying the night, so if you wanted to stay you might as well.” he placed his hand on your head before getting up from the floor where you were all sitting on from the previous board game.
“ i was .. hiccup .. plan- planning on it anyway.” you glanced over at geto, who was clearly staring at you.
you smiled at him before crawling over to him.
“hey. you’re cute..” you tilted your head and smiled. just looking at him made you feel fuzzy..
“hey. you’re drunk. come on get off before satoru comes back.”
“relaxxx~ hes gone! it’ll.. hiccup … take a while.” you scooted closer to him. lips ghosting over his
“dontcha wanna kiss me?”
“cant, even if i wanted too, pretty. your toru’s girl.”
you pouted at this. you didn’t like his rejection.
you quickly got up and rushed to find gojo, who was in his room getting blankets and pillows.
“toruuu!!!” you barged in
“yes bunny? whats up.”
you went up to him and pushed him onto the bed, half lidded eyes tracing over his features. you cupped his cheek.
“did you tell suguru we’re dating?”
“no, i didn’t, princess. why?” he raised a brow attempting to get you off, cleary failing.
“mm.. he wont let me kiss him. he said he cant.. because im ‘toru’s girl’, mm.” your finger tracing over his lips, legs closing in tightly at his waist.
he doesn’t look to happy, you thought.
“y/n, get off.” he said trying to push you off.
“why are you mad? you jealouss?” you were still on him, not going anywhere. you giggled at this.
“no, stop acting like a slut and just act normal for once.” his voice was stern. and harsh. he never talked to you like this, he was really mad.
you unconsciously started to tear up, maybe it was your drunk self, or your horny self, but you knew how to manipulate gojo into giving you what you want. what is it that i want?
“toru, m’ sorryyy..i love you okay? only you..im sorry for this.” you braced yourself. god you hoped your drunk self wasnt going to ruin everything.
“for wha-” gojo quickly being cut off.
there you were. cupping your best friends cheeks and making out with him, inviting your own tongue into his mouth. you grabbed his hand and placed it onto your waist. pushing him deeper into the mattress, gojo now laying down completely.
you pulled away to catch your breath.
“y/n. what the fuck are you doing?” he was confused but part of him liked this. he could never admit it right now though.
“satoru… im tired of pretending i dont like you. i dont wanna ruin anything but, hiccup..i love you. more than best friends.” you kissed his cheek, the corners of his mouth, his forehead and neck.
“y/n, your just drunk talking, you dont mean it.”
“m’ not. i mean it.”
“you’re a fucking whore.” was the last thing he said before yelling at geto.
“yo suguru, come here!” he manhandled you to a position where he was on top now.
“ya called?” geto came in.
gojo leaned into your ear whispering, “since you wanna be a slut, make a show for suguru, okay?”
“toru, i want you. i need you please..hiccup.. pleaseee.” you had no idea what was making you say this but you guessed it was just the horniness making you talk.
“suguru, your gonna fuck her, okay?” gojo glanced over at geto.
“with pleasure.” geto took his shirt off in one go and untied the strings of his sweats.
“t-toru! wait…”
“hm?”
“i want you..and sugu, to eat me out.” you covered your face with your arms.
“is that so, princess?” gojo grabbed the back of your knees and pressed them against your shoulders.
“hold on tight for me, ‘kay bunny?” he flashed you a smile. “suguru, ya ready?”
“let’s see what our puppy tastes like gojo ♡” suguru said kneeling down next to gojo spreading kisses down your thighs and tummy, putting your panties to the side and bunching your skirt up to your stomach.
“h..hurry.. need it, now, pl-please!” you were getting impatient for their touch. you felt like you were about to explode.
almost immediately gojo lapped at your cunt on command rubbing his finger up and down your hole while occasionally sticking his tongue in while suguru sucked on your puffy clit.
“n-ngh! a..hah! sug..toru! more more more..!” you began to blabble already to fucked out from barely any action.
“taste so fuckin’ good, bunny.” satoru said sticking his digit inside your weeping and needy hole. “look how wet she is, suguru ♡” he said pulling out his finger pulling it up so geto could see.
“mm..she’s so pretty, all wet glistening in her juices.” geto grabbed gojo’s wrist and pulled his middle finger up to his mouth, sucking off all your juices.
gojo blushed at this.
“tou..touch me, touch me mor- hah! ngh yes.yesyesyes!!” your head rolling back into the mattress, and you swore, there was stars on the ceiling.
gojo stuck in 3 digits inside your leaking pink hole. “gotta get you niceee and ready, love. don’t want me and sugu-chan hurting your poor cunt do we now?”
he giggled seeing your flushed and confused expression. gojo moved out of the way leaving geto to eat you like a starved man. “h-hah!! wha.. you? sugu?? cant..take..both cant..at once! nghh, suguru!”
“im sure you can, be a good girl and let us stretch you out, hm?” gojo grabbing geto, who wouldve probably never let go of your pretty cunt, by the hair to get him off and fully undressed.
“but before that, im gonna get suguru to stretch you out okay?” he goes to your side caressing your cheek. “you’d like that wouldn’t you? you just love sugu-chan so much you want him to stretch you out nice and good, hm?”
“t-toru!! cant… i..im a ..” you hesitated. fuck it. “virgin! virgin, im a virgin toru toru… ngh!” you could barely talk with how geto’s fingers curved and scissored across your gummy walls.
he laughed. “pfftt, you act like a slut and you’ve never even gotten any action, you’re such a whore.” gojo wrapped his hand around your neck choking you softly.
“Suguru, you okay with fucking a virgin dumb?” gojo flashed him his fangs as he smiled, softly slapping your cheek.
“i’d be more than happy.” he pushed your legs further onto your shoulders aligning himself at your entrance.
he spit on your cunt and gave it a slap, earning a muffled moan from you as gojo bullied his tongue into your mouth.
“breathe, ‘kay? and relax, im ‘bout to go in.” he slapped the side of your thigh to make sure you heard him.
“mm-mhm!!” you mumbled, gojo finalizing the kiss by biting your bottom lip, kissing your forehead after. “get ready, baby. it wont hurt, if you just welcome him in ♡”
geto slowly pushed in your tight little hole.
“n-ngh! hah..big..big!!!” you looked down, realizing this was the first time you saw geto’s dick. it was thick, you would have to guess it was around 6 inches from what youve seen in those porn videos.
“suguru, don’t go easy on her, dont hold back. its her punishment for being such a whore.” gojo said finding his way into the crook of your neck giving you hickeys.
“sorry, princess.. hold your breathe for a sec yea?”
you were confused at suguru’s request, but you complied too drunk to understand. and suddenly-
plap!!!
“F-FUUUCK!!. ngh..ya….hah.. ow, sugu.. too much.. too-t- big!!” you struggled against the two boy’s hold on you.
suguru began to slip in out of you, occasionally stopping to bottom out all his length inside your cunt.
“so! soo good. more!! faster sugu please!~” crossing your eyes, your whole body moving up and down from his thrusts.
“can..feel you! in my tum..my!!..mm” you were cock drunk.
“toru..touch..touch me!!” you looked at him with heart filled eyes, you wanted him to touch you too.
“such a brat. at least say please, ya dog. so nasty and needy.” you slapped your cheek making you shamefully moan. “knew you’d like that, fuckin’ whore.” he slapped your pussy occasionally rubbing your clit.
“yes!! yes so good! toru, sugu! im..im..close closecloseclose..!!” you lolled your tongue out, eyes teary, pools of drool coming down your tongue.
“ya on..ngh..the pill, doll?” suguru said while getting sloppier with his thrusts.
“yeah, she is.” gojo speaking for you, being too fucked out to respond.
“can i c-come..inside, satoru?” geto said glancing over at gojo, him taking notice of geto’s sweaty trembling body knowing he was about to burst.
“go for it, didn’t know ya was a fuckin’ dirty slut just like y/n.” gojo walked over behind geto, biting on his ear lobe lovingly. teasingly.
“fu..fuckk….cant!! cant hold..” geto gave his last thrusts, shooting warm ropes in your cunt.
“hhaa!! so warmm.. ngh..!! good..”
“creamin’ all over suguru’s cock huh, princess? just like the fucking slut you are.”
gojo pushed geto down, making him shift his weight on your tiny body, bending him over making sure geto was still inside you.
“sat-toru? what the fuck.. hey..he-ngh!~ fuck..” geto protested, but getting interrupted by gojo spitting down his ass, wetting his hole.
“punishment for being cock-whores, sugu-chan and y/n ♡”. gojo sticked two fingers inside geto’s warm unopened hole.
“sugu…again..please! so ..horny.” you said cupping his cheeks, lips meeting. eventually sloppily making out as geto started to begin his slow thrust.
you felt his dick twitch as he moaned in your mouth possibly from gojo’s fingers.
“sato…ruu! slow down, cant..focus!! ngh.” geto too overstimulated to concentrate on your pleasure.
“lemme take over then, ‘kay?” he kissed geto down his spine, slowly pushing in the pink tip of his cock inside geto.
“f-fuck!! i..nghhh!!” geto trembled eyes never leaving yours. never breaking eye contact.
gojo wasnt even all the way in when he started to forcefully thrust into geto’s poor hole, making geto move harsher inside you.
“fuckk, so tight yeah baby?” gojo grabbed geto’s hips getting better grip as he slammed into him, projecting his strength to geto, thrusting into your poor overstimulated hole.
“slow..slow down!! suguu…cant take!! it..” you felt like you were going to break having twice the weight on your legs now. barely remembering how to breathe and talk.
“toru!! so ..good~ ahh.. wait!! slow..down!! y/n cant take it..” geto trying to get up forgetting he was leaning half his weight onto you, but immediately being shoved back down by gojo.
“mmm!! m sorry prin-cess!” he shoved his face into your neck moaning into it. you felt his drool slip down.
“..go—ood!! good….mytummy! cant..its com…ing!!”
“hah…look! the bitch can’t even fuckin’ talk no more, she’s so fucked out.” gojo laughed at you.
“toru, just..go sl-ah!!-lower, pl..please!!” geto cried out, as his body was holding on tightly to you.
“ouch..sugu!! too tight!!” you took notice on his grip on you, thinking he was about to break your bones.
you all were clearly about to explode, on the edge of cumming. you couldn’t take anymore.
“come on suguru! just cus im fucking you dont mean you can forget all about our girl.” he gave a harsh slap to geto’s ass making him remember to keep thrusting hard into your poor cunt.
“nyaa!! cummin…d-daddy, toru!!!” how cute. gojo thought hearing you say that, already trained to say his name while cumming despite him not even laying a finger on you.
“me ..too. ‘m cumming satoru!” geto put his hands on both sides of you getting up slightly to give you room.
“fuckk…on the count of three yea? ya slut’s gonna come for me, ‘kay?” gojo fastening his thrusts, also making geto unconsciously move his hips into your pussy.
“one…”
“two…”
“nghhh!!! toru, suguru!!!” you squirted all over geto’s dick and stomach.
“fu..ck. toruuu..y/n.” geto moaned softly as his body slowly gave up, shooting his last load into your cunt.
“atta’ girlll, squirt fa’ sugu-chan.. so proud of you suguru.” he planted kissed down geto’s spine and back, also cumming in geto’s little abused hole.
gojo pulled out, geto slowly following behind.
you curled into a ball, trying to regain your regular breathing rhythm, about to pass out.
“we’re not done yet, puppies. ♡” gojo said as he wiped the sweat off his forehead, white hair sticking to his forehead.
“we’re going all night.” he smirked.
i hope u guys liked it!! lmk if u want pt. 2 :33 this was my first time hehe im sorry if its bad🥲
#i hope you like it#smut#jjk x reader#jjk gojo#jjk#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo smut#geto smut#geto x reader#geto x reader smut#gojo x reader#gojo x reader smut#jjk x you#gojo x geto#gojo x female reader#geto x female reader#first fic#minors dni#mikgreo writes
143 notes
·
View notes
Note
some hotd succession au headcanons… i beg…
so! none of the hotd characters in this u are 1-1 equivalent to the succession ones, more of amalgamations of certain character traits/plot points/tropes hahah
— aegon ii is majorly roman coded ofc as in: terrible sense of humour, NO moral backbone, sex issues, daddy issues, mummy issues, issues in general, he doesn’t want to be the ceo, he just desperately wants daddy to be proud of him. he’s also kendall coded as in suicidal, with massive addiction problems, in and out of rehab constantly. but also a little bit of connor coded as in “i am the (eldest) first son. i AM the first son and i’m not considered”. a failure tbh, he lashes out a lot because he wants people to pay attention to him (LOOSEEEER). his relationship with alicent is a bit similar to kendall’s with caroline, aegon wants that deeper connection but it’s very hard for both of them to communicate. his relationship with larys is very romegerri coded.
for miscellaneous, aegon’s an annoying microinfluencer who gets cancelled every other week. he can’t dress for shit. sunfyre is his gigantic dog who drools EVERYWHERE. he’s a bit trans fem in the „i’m probably trans but i have a company to take over so can’t think of that rn” way.
— rhaenyra is majorly kendall coded as in: groomed to be the ceo and promised the position since she was a child, which OF COURSE messed her up a little (a lot). if she doesn’t end up the ceo then who is she? suddenly her position is compromised after the targtowers are born and she’s majorly FUCKED. she loves her siblings somewhat but she resents them for existing at the same time. rhae’s also shiv coded because she’s a woman in power (but not ENOUGH power) and she’s privileged enough to ignore feminism unless it is in her advantage. a little bit naomi pierce coded but her „scandalous” past is based in many messy romances and kids out of wedlock.
for miscellaneous, she’s a part time model, a very fussy eater and a passenger princess. she’s also a bit trans masc in the „i’m probably trans but i have a company to take over so can’t think of that rn” way.
— alicent is A BIT stewy coded in context of rhaenyra because they were inseparable homoerotic coke snoring (yeah, her religious conservatism happens later in this story as a coping mechanism) best friends slash lovers in high school, until she got forced by otto and groomed by viserys to marry him. yeah, the terrible age gap is still there and she has aegon when she’s seventeen* because i feel like early motherhood is a very important part of who alicent is and becomes. she’s miserable as always. she’s also marcia coded in the “you’ve been careless of me” way, she tries very hard at the beginning to be a perfect little wife and mother. it eventually breaks her.
for miscellaneous, she used to be a model, HATED it. wanted to become a writer but it never came to fruition because of how quickly she got married. she’s a good cook but rarely gets to cook anymore.
** the rough timeline is: she has aegon at 17, helaena at 18, aemond at 20 and daeron at 22. aegon is 32 in this au, hela is 31, aemond is 29 and daeron is 27. alicent is 49, viserys is 70, rhae is actually 47 because i want to close the gap between her and the targtowers at least a little bit. rhaenyra and alicent still went to the same class together because rhae started school 2 years later than she „should’ve”, let’s just say viserys didn’t want his little girl out of the house as quickly because he was so shaken after losing aemma, or they went travelling when she was a kid and that put her two years behind, or smth. idc!
— aemond is uhhh a mix of everything. “i AM THE ELDEST BOY” kendall coded, spit and desperation everywhere, because i think in this au his reliability and skills would get somewhat recognised by viserys and by the company, and it would GET IN HIS HEAD HARD. he’s definitely the parentified son like connor. but he is not the eldest boy. he’s the fucking fourth kid. he knows, not matter his skills, his diligence, his discipline, the position will never be his. he kills a kid like ken (rip lucerys drowning in a nasty ass body of water once again). shiv coded because of his cunty ass bob. roman coded because of possible ed issues (actually i think all of them struggle with food and body image to certain degree because that „summer of competitive eating disorders” line in the succession script book never left my head ever).
for miscellaneous, he’s a part time actor, he trained ballet for a while and loved it but was very quickly forced to switch to fencing and shooting lessons. he makes a mean cup of coffee and refuses to ever buy it. has a minor coke problem but is VERY good at hiding it.
— helaena is a hard one. a bit willa coded when it comes to her love for arts and creative expression. a bit connor coded as in secluded, living on a ranch, not partaking in the business side of the family unless necessary. she sees the unnecessary pain this fight for the ceo position brings to her siblings and wants nothing to do with it. alicent tries very hard to include her, quite forcefully at times but it never works for long, so she’s mostly left to her own devices. helaena probablymhzs the best relationship with rhaenyra out of all the siblings because rhae doesn’t see her as a threat.
for miscellaneous, she trained ballet with aemond, then switched to gymnastics. now very into pilates and yoga. she makes her own wine and jam, has an extensive herb garden and is a little insane about naturopathic medicine.
— daeron is kinda stewy-ish? he’s good with business, he knows his stuff and he usually makes VERY good choices but he doesn’t take it as seriously as his siblings. then again, because daeron’s the youngest, he doesn’t get to make a lot of big decisions anyways. that takes a lot of pressure of his shoulders! he’s also stewy level of loyal, „i’m team aegon baby!” even though he knows how messed up his older brother is about this whole business stuff.
for miscellaneous, he’s VERY into street racing. that gives alicent a gigantic headache. he’s allergic to cats but owns one anyways. never cooked in his life.
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
So, I'm not really in the weeds of Transgender Discourse on the internet (I have a life and also care about my mental health) but I've seen something discussed here about trans masculinity and I wanna talk about it.
I'm very masculine. I'm butch, I'm trans masc, I've always wanted to be masculine and I feel most comfortable when I'm presenting as such. Without much effort or any intention on my part I am read as a cis man day to day. Because I don't present more fem, in queer spaces I am read and recieved as a man, maybe trans, probably into other men. People do not even consider if I'm a butch lesbian unless there's Significant context indicating it. Because of this I'm viewed through 'Man Lens'; It feels a different if I say 'bitch', if I talk about my attraction to women. I don't get smiled at, people put physical distance between me and them as much as possible.
This is familiar for a lot of trans masculine people and trans men that aren't androgynous/fem leaning in their style, and it is an upsetting change to happen. It makes us feel judged or misunderstood to suddenly be causing this wariness in others; it feels prejudiced. I've seen people putting words to this like transmisandry. This is something they want to lessen in their communities, so they don't have to experience this anymore.
Now, here's my opinion part: That's not going to happen. You cannot tackle the "problem" of people responding to your masculinity with wariness. They aren't controlling the wariness, they can't. More importantly, their wariness toward masculinity and what registers in their brain as "man-like" is well founded. It's based in lifetimes of experiences and trauma that has told them men can be very unsafe to be around, and that is true. Most men are cis, and cis men are the most threatening thing in this world to non-cis men. They are usually* socially privileged above others, more likely to inflict violence, more likely to abuse and murder others, are typically physically more powerful than others. Everyone thats not a cis man DEEPLY internalises a very rational wariness of men, and masculine presentation as an extension. Especially men that are strangers. (*This is of course different when we consider intersections of race, colonialism, classism, ect. But globally this generalisation is still pretty accurate.)
Honestly, I don't think this wariness towards masculine presentation is something thats useful or realistic to challenge. Like many internalised processes it's probably a good idea to examine it and consider its usefulness, but I think it'd be easy to conclude that it is a useful wariness for people to have. Women have lots of reasons to be wary around men, including the unique threats of transmisogyny. Queer and gender deviant men have lots of reasons to be wary around men. This is The Reality of patriarchy.
Personally, the place I've come to with how women and queer people react to my masculinity (which is not entirely negative btw, the wariness is just one aspect) is that... I understand their wariness. I have it too, toward those my brain assumes are cis men. I cannot control how they feel or what they think about me. I can only be respectful to others and to myself and live my life. I flag my butchness where I can, I make my gender clear to those it matters to, and the rest I accept as largely beyond my influence. All of us have to do this in some places in our lives.
Even though my masculinity makes other queers wary, I have lots of friends! I've had no real trouble dating or finding intimacy. Initial wariness is just that. Once you understand each other, break the barrier, its usually settled. For anyone who finds my masculinity so offputting that we can't break the barrier, I'm glad neither of us put each other through that discomfort. I understand where a fear like that comes from. I will still hold community with them because that's what solidarity entails.
Anyway thats my ramble about masculinity in queer community, good bye until another. who knows how long
#back on the tumblr diary#personal#edited the section about women having reasons to fear men and transmisogyny; poorly phrased lol.
142 notes
·
View notes
Text
WARNING: HUGE RANT AHEAD
As per the request from @nectar-cellar:
Oh boy prepare yourself for a foul-mouthed rant because I am MAD!!!! 😠😠😠😠 Not at you, NC. I love you. You can do no wrong in my eyes. 😘
No I am mad at this STUPID FUCKING SIM holy shit
OK FIRST OF ALL
He started life like THIS
What I can only describe as "Disney's Aladdin visits a dude ranch". Yes, I know I have used that exact outfit (minus the boots) for Roman before, shut up, you're not here to expose my hypocrisy, you're here to suffer with me because OH BOY DID I SUFFER.
Ok so he turned out like this. Not bad, you say? No. Bad. Very bad.
I SPENT TWO AND A HALF FUCKING HOURS ON THIS STUPID MOTHERFUCKER AND THERE'S STILL SOMETHING OFF ABOUT HIS FACE AND I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT AND I PUT CONTOURING MAKEUP ON HIS FACE AND YOU CAN BARELY SEE IT BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON, THIS SKINTONE IS IMPOSSIBLE TO COLOR MATCH TONIGHT AND I DON'T KNOW WHY BECAUSE I'M USUALLY GREAT AT COLOR MATCHING FUCK THIS GUY
Yeah so I got him in Live Mode and there is just something about him that is pissing me right the fuck off and I don't know what it is. Is it the eyes? Are the eyes too big? Jaw too square? I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS AND IT'S PISSING ME OFF!!!!!!!!!! I really feel like the eyes are too big but I kept shrinking his eyes until he literally looked like this .👄. and it still didn't help.
I went in and out of CAS at least 7 times and I can't figure out what's off and I can't fix it and I HATE HIMMMMMMMMMM
"Who's made of pixels and sucks ass? This guy!"
"Don't you just love me?"
NO I WANT TO HIT YOU WITH A BUS
I know that making masc men is a challenge for me. This is not new information. It's been a problem for 20 years, it'll be a problem for 20 more. I know what I find attractive in a man, I just don't know what looks good on a Sim. Know what I mean? No? Stop being difficult, you know exactly what I mean.
I also tried using NC's new torso and oh boy that was an adventure because the torso is fire and his face is A FUCKING DISASTER. There is something about his head and his torso that are incongruous with each other and I don't. know. what. it. is. It's driving me crazy. No correction, it has DRIVEN me crazy, past tense. I am crazy now and this fucker is why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOOK AT THIS PIECE OF SHIT WHY DOESN'T HIS HEAD FIT WHAT DID I DO WRONG
I even expanded my slider multiples so I could fine tune things thinking that would help but no I think it made everything worse ESPECIALLY MY MENTAL HEALTH
I hate him. I HAAAAAAAAATEEE HIIIIIIIIIM
So by now you're like "Laura there's nothing wrong with him, Laura you're taking this too seriously, Laura he's fine" and I know. I KNOW! I STILL HATE HIM
And you're god dang right I put that fucker on a pole. If I get community labeled because of this shit heap, I'm gonna lose my shitting mind.
Literally fuck you, I hate you so much. I didn't even give you a name. Do you know what your name is? "Stupid asshole who won't behave" that's what your name is.
I even threw Monica the Devil Girl in there hoping that would help. It didn't.
Know what the worst part is?
I enjoyed this. I mean yeah sure I hated the whole process and I hate the result and I hate this Sim and in a minute, I'm going to have an alien Sim land a meteor on top of his head, but there's something really cathartic about just unloading all of your vitriol on a Sim, you know? And it was definitely a challenge and definitely out of my comfort zone. I'll have to keep trying until I make a male Sim (other than Roman and Aiden) that I'm happy with.
This was a learning experience for sure.
Piece of shit.
#sims 3#ts3#sims 3 gameplay#mine#adventures in cas#sims 3 cas#*breathes into a paper bag*#i'm fine everything's fine#gif warning
82 notes
·
View notes
Note
is it bad to be scared to start hrt?
i feel a little ashamed that i am. i try my hardest to be positive about all the things that make men & mascs masculine. i try to appreciate the parts that arent valued by society, like male pattern baldness, being fat, hairiness (love that part especially lol), etc.
but im 15, and i go back and fourth over whether or not i want to start testosterone. i had terrible cystic acne before i started acne medication, i have male pattern baldness on my dads side etc. im not a binary trans guy, so i kinda doubt ill be on it forever anyway if i DO wind up doing it, but its really scary to be told all the stuff that WILL make me a man when im… just a boy. that feels infantalizing but i suppose its true. im scared to be a man admittedly, im angry i never got to have a “true” boyhood because in currently at that age, and im scared of being thrust into it after not getting to be one. theres so much stuff about becoming “ugly” after starting testosterone. i know thats not true, logically, but ive faced so much bullying for not being pretty enough as an afab that i guess i still have that vanity embedded within me.
i feel ashamed for it, do you have any advice?
no, absolutely not- i think it's super reasonable to be scared to start HRT. it's a huge change, it affects your body and mentality in many different ways. it's a lot to take on at once especially considering there are permanent effects if taken for long enough at a high enough dose
i get why you'd be worried at that age. i didn't start HRT until i was in my early 20s. i think its okay to give yourself some time, especially considering you have some concerns about it potentially affecting your health. it would be ideal to find a way to get your blood tested for a few things- liver enzymes, red blood cell count, estrogen and testosterone levels, and so on. if you can't do that, it's understandable. i know it's not easy for someone your age to get a ride to a place like that discretely
is it possible to contact your dermatologist about your acne and see if they would be able to weigh in on that? baldness is a tricky thing. some people do bald but really late in life. some people don't. a lot of transmascs have their hairline recede by a few inches and then it usually stops. the nice thing about hair loss is there are medications that work very well that can help mitigate that. gender affirming care specialists or other doctors who prescribe testosterone are usually aware of the effects on scalp hair, and usually they'll help you test for high blood pressure, any issues like that
honestly i get where you're coming from here. i've seen this way too many times. people get pissed off about someone being a type of trans they don't like so they just bully the person until they consider detransitioning or never start transition at all, and then continue to mock and harass them anyway. i see this all the damn time and it bugs me like why would you do that to someone. who cares
people think it's ok to bully trans men & mascs right now because of all of the transandrophobia and antimasculism in general. testosterone doesn't make anyone "ugly", people are projecting their hatred of men and mascs on to a hormone that almost everyone produces naturally. it's just hateful senseless bullying. people think the younger the trans man/boy/masc is, the more valid they are to bully them.
it's okay to identify as a boy for as long as you need. you actually never have any obligation to adopt the label man if it doesn't fit you. many people identify as boys instead of men. some people are guys and not men. it's okay some people find they have to take their time to transition from boy to man. you're only 15 you are still a child, you don't have to worry about being a man for quite a while
it's definitely okay to feel conflicted and confused here. if you're able to, take time to yourself where you shut all that noise from other people out. if you're able to just ask yourself a few questions like why do i identify as a boy, what about it makes me happy, what kinds of things do i want to do in transition. just try to get a feel for what's going on so it makes it hard for people to get in your head
remember that when people attack you like this they're projecting something they deeply hate about themselves on to you. my therapist told me that last week and i thought i would just relay that. it's alright to be affected by it, but they really are just being assholes. it's good to be a trans man/boy/masc. transmasculinity is good. testosterone is good. testosterone saved my life. i'm glad to get up in the morning every day because i at least look and sound like myself. i love my body. i love the way i look. i'm stronger. i stand taller. my face is the right shape. my voice sounds right.
life is good
i hope you found any of this helpful. good luck, it's okay to feel guilt or shame for a bit. i did NOT want to come out as FtM for a VERY long time it was hard. i get it. take care of yourself, let me know if you have any more questions
#asks#answers#testosterone#transmasc#transmasculine#ftm#trans man#trans men#trans boy#hrt#questioning#hormones#hormone replacement therapy
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hello hello we'll be back to our regularly scheduled obey me programming soon but I'm so down bad for blade from honkai star rail right now so I wrote a real quick little thingy about him.
Your yandere kidnaps you
(Gn!reader x AMAB!yandere, please let me know if reader is gendered)(noncon)(violence against reader)(kidnapping)(forced affection)(masc rage)(plus size reader 💖🫡)(18+ readers only please, mdni)(Please let me know if I am missing a TW)
Part 2
[This is fetish content and rape and abuse are disgusting and inexcusable in real life.]
You thought your master’s bondman was not just cute, but also harmlessly so. “Blade”, he called himself, which you thought was so melodramatic that you could not help but smile whenever you happened to see him. On greeting him, you bent your knee and lowered your face as a maid ought to, but surreptitiously peeked at him from beneath your fringe and pressed your lips together to hide a laugh at the stilted way it made him hold himself, the apathy in his expression stirred up into a vague discomfort. For all the chagrin his name heralded, you could not help but see an awkward man who liked heaps of sugar and a touch of salt in his tea, one who would nudge your arm with his knuckles before demanding in monotone that you reaffix his barrette and shivering when your hands brushed his scalp. A hissy cat, a moody kid with overgrown bangs – you were fond of him, and nowhere near as scared as you should have been.
In fact, that lack of fear made it hard to understand what was happening when he first locked you away. His expression not budging out of its typical hollowness, he simply wrapped his hand around your arm and began to lead you; you followed, as a servant did, through halls and down many stairs. You didn’t question it when he led you to a part of the compound you had never been to until a door shut behind you, hard, and you turned in time to watch him slide a bar into place to lock it. When he faced you again, it was to glare down his nose at you with his typical emptiness, this time with more intensity than you were used to.
There was a brief pause, then he raised his hand to your cheek, letting his fingertips ghost just above your skin until you raised your own hand to push his away.
“I o-ought to be going,” you said, taking a step back. “I’ve plenty of work to do.”
That was not the right answer. This time he seized your wrist, hard enough to make you hiss a little, and dragged you further through the hall you had been sealed in. It was hard to focus with your heart pounding so hard, but you tried to scan your surroundings to see where you were and only recognized that you were somewhere dark, poorly lit by dim bulbs and no windows, with his feet leaving prints in the dust telling you that no one had been down here for quite some time in a way that makes your stomach drop, because you have a bad feeling about anything he could need privacy for–
Your fears were validated as he pulled you into a tiny room, some defunct servant’s quarters you’d imagine, containing nothing but a small bed covered in threadbare sheets and a rickety nightstand. Panic overwhelmed you, and you immediately began to struggle against him like mad, your chest seizing up so hard that it took you a while to realize that that loud noise you could hear was you screaming, apologizing, promising to do anything else that he wanted if he just let you leave.
He had been uncomfortable trying to approach you gently, unsure how to do it with his hands reforged specifically for killing and only killing. Subjugation, however, was his only nature, and once you began to act like prey, he allowed his instincts to take over. The nails of your flailing hand caught his face but seemed to have no effect on him whatsoever; he wrenched you forward by your arm hard enough that you stumbled and then kicked your feet out from beneath you while still holding your arm so that he could press you onto your back as you fell. It was relatively easy to pin you after he did that, and he did so by planting his knee downwards into the soft flab of your stomach, driving it in a little deeper when you tried to squirm away and loosing a knife from his belt to remove your clothing with.
He fucked you like a punishment, pushing into you with no foreplay and holding you down by both of your wrists as he thrusted into you hard enough to make your fat thighs clap against his skin. He watched you rather emotionlessly, unmoved by the tears pouring from your eyes and down your temples into your hairline or the whimpers that occasionally escaped your lips despite how hard you were pressing them together. Wracked with pain and with humiliation at your body suddenly being so exposed and shock at how things had turned bad so quickly, how you were suddenly being pinned under him like this used like some disposable toy, you looked just beyond the side of his head and traced cracks in the ceiling while you waited for him to finish. The room had been quiet but for the hoarse creaking of the bed, so you were surprised when you suddenly heard a grunt from him: he freed one of your wrists to bring the back of his hand to his blushing face, covering his mouth as he finished, his eyes growing distant as he stared down at you and his cock pulsating inside of you, making you feel sick.
You expected him to fix his clothes and leave you there, back to his same nonplussed demeanor, but instead he continued watching you the moment that he came back to his senses. As though that would make him vanish, you squeezed your eyes shut and only felt what happened next. He grabbed hold of the bottom of your face with his horribly cold hands, the bandage wrapped around it feeling clammy with his sweat, and then his lips pressed onto yours and his fringe tickled your forehead. You recoiled in shock and disgust, retreating backwards into the mattress and turning your face away from him, wiping your mouth before you could stop yourself. You flinched, expecting to feel the bruising of his hands roughly handling you again, but instead he lied down on you a little gently, resting his head in the crook of your neck.
“Wrap your arms around me,” he commanded.
It took you a second, but eventually you complied.
“Now say that you love me.”
“I--… I can’t,” you whispered back.
“You will. Say it.”
It took a long time for you to finally comply, and to his credit he waited in your embrace without moving as he awaited you saying it; eventually, your disgust was outweighed by your worry that he would never pull out of you and leave if you did not obey, so eventually you did finally whisper it into his hair, tears welling up in your voice as you pried the words from your throat.
After what felt like an eternity, he eventually left, but you were not allowed to because he locked the door from the outside when he went. In fact, you were kept in that tiny room so long that you lost track of time. You tried to measure your days by the showers you took in the adjoined bathroom, or the times you’d get hungry and eat some of the food you’d been left the day before, but you could not stop the time from blending together into slop no matter what you did.
It was easiest to measure time in when he suddenly reappeared to see you.
The first few days, upon just the sound of him unlocking the door keeping you shut in here, you would shake uncontrollably and fix your eyes to the ground. Once he entered, you tried to put as much distance between him and you that you could, though that was only a few steps or so. That ruined feeling, the unfamiliar slickness and soreness between your legs would rush back over you in memory and you’d feel overwhelmed to the point of dizziness, your trembling jaw barely able to form “please don’t” as he stared you down impassively. The second or third time you did this, he lost patience with it and dragged you kicking and screaming back over to the bed, but this time he only lied down beside you and rested his head on your chest, then demanding the same two things: to put your arms around him and say that you love him. You obeyed, sobbing, but sooner rather than later you got used to your new routine and became proficient, or comfortable even, in the new ritual of greeting him.
“Welcome back,” you’d tell him when he entered, going over to him and wrapping your arms around his neck and swaying him back and forth. Then you’d say you missed him or you were thinking of him or you were happy to see him. You started to wonder if that was actually true: he was your only human interaction, and after (what felt like) a few weeks you felt almost excited to see him, especially when he bought you things you requested, like wine and puzzles and lube and books. You felt like you could kiss him when he brought you a video game from his companion, though he seemed not to be sure what it was.
Well, more like you could kiss him and want to, because you often kissed him, actually. After greeting him you often led him, still emotionless as he always was, over to the bed where the two of you would lie down in the same position, his head on your chest and your arms around him. When you could stomach it, you’d roll over onto him and press your lips to his and moan into his mouth and grind on him, doing your very best to arouse him. Your hope was that if you preempted his lust with seduction of your own, maybe the sex would be easier, maybe you would have fewer nightmares that woke you up screaming. Strangely, your success with this strategy was variable: often times, he allowed your ministrations and then let you ride him until he came, his hand gripping your hip hard enough to bruise while his other hand covered part of his face. Other times, he seemed to grow overwhelmed with your affections, flipped you back over and rested his head on you again, burying his reddened face into your chest so you could only see the top of his head. You’d be confused, not sure what to do, and he’d quietly command you to do the same thing he always did: wrap your arms around him and tell him you love him.
Still, no matter what you did, you could not escape that often he wanted to hurt you. You could predict it based on how much blood he was covered in when he visited you or how he seemed to bristle away from your touch, but most reliably he was in this violent mood when he woke up from nightmares of his own, seemingly gripped with unwavering rage that drove him to want to destroy, whether that be furniture or himself or you. If you were unlucky and he went for you first, you’d be awoken by him striking you, hitting your face or dragging you by your hair or roughly tearing your clothes from your body. You learned better than fighting back quickly, as that only made him angrier, and so you just tried to shield your face and go somewhere else in your mind until it was over. Sometimes he’d fuck you dry, hard enough that you bled a little after, other times he’d hit you all over your body until it hurt to move, other times still he’d twist your arms painfully behind your back, lean into your ear, and tell you exactly how he was going to kill you in gruesome detail that made you want to vomit. He only seemed satisfied when your tears had run out and you stopped moving, overwhelmed by pain and despair, and then the room would fall into silence but for the sound of his panting, slowing breath.
After these rages were the only times he’d hold you and tell you that he loved you in a way you knew was meant to be comforting but only sounded flat and disturbed.
Eventually, he let you go (later you learned that it had been around two and a half months after you’d been captured). It was unceremonious – he simply left one day and did not shut the door behind him. It took you nearly an hour to summon the courage to leave, as you could not help but fear that this was some sort of trap, that he’d be waiting just beyond the threshold to punish you if you left. In the end, though, it was not, and after some walking you found yourself back in a central corridor of the compound with business as usual happening around you. It was hard to comprehend how other people were talking, laughing, cleaning, working without bone deep, paranoid fear strangling them. You’d dreamed of your freedom for a long time, of the relief you’d feel to be out of his clutches, but there was no relief to be had.
You could not sleep with any semblance of normalcy after getting out, so you often lied awake at night and wondered why he had gotten rid of you. Had he grown tired of you, bored? Had he moved on to someone else? Had he seen that there was something within you that he had irreparably broken that made you not worth using any more? Part of you worried about this so endlessly because if he was angry that you failed him, you needed to figure that out so you could prepare for him to return in one of his rages.
But another part of you, one that you could not bear to acknowledge, had grown used to making him and his comfort the center of your universe, and now felt lost without him. You wished that he had just kept you until you died.
#yandere#tw noncon#tw non con#yandere x reader#yandere smut#cw noncon#tw: noncon#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr smut#hsr x reader#hsr blade#betty fetty
304 notes
·
View notes
Text
A word of truth
(Lots of words about my opinion on the SFW vore community and why I'm not revealing my persona yet)
I think I'm finally understanding why am I feeling the pred vibes lately, why do I feel a great need to consume and control...
It's because I don't have control of my own life
I'm constantly struggling to control things I can't control, and I'm sick of being pressed under a thumb, I'm sick of feeling like a cornered beast in a cage.
I have noticed recently how tall I am irl and I have been feeling more proud of my body and myself
The main thing pushing me from officially revealing my predsona is because, let's be honest here, the vore community (and the g/t community), while not as bad as before, still has a lot of in-built misogyny, the nonsexual/non suggestive pieces with fem preds are almost nonexistent compared to ones with more masc preds.
That being said, I feel like presenting my persona to the world is just me presenting myself to be drawn in ways that will absolutely make me uncomfortable, but I also would love to draw and interact with my fellow artists.
The thing with Suzy is, she is basically a mascot, she was made as a character to be eaten, which is why I don't have this issue with her.
My persona is a representation of myself, and so subjecting myself to the internet feels like a dangerous situation where somehow it will be *my* fault for the unsavoury things that will happen.
But I also would love to explore the pred part of me in a safe way.
If you read this, thank you, and... yeah I would love a word of advice and guidance from other preds or just others in general.
#sfw vore#extreme cuddling#safe vore#soft vore#swwh#sfw vore community#e a/t#vore talk#swallowed whole#vore rambles#sfw vore talk#what do i do#confused as hell#what should i do#what should i tag this#Pred vibes#Preds please help me
60 notes
·
View notes