#i am mainly making a bunch of shit up because. Yeah <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[ibmbrain]

also if you guys see me with like five tabs open in regards to the gulf war don't. don't worry about it-

[sleepnowmychild]

Ight hypnosers, let’s talk about it

Cw for talk of wet dreams and sex, also brief mentions of sexual trauma. Fair warning. But I’ve touched in nightmares so I think we should talk about the other well known kind of dreams too.

Wet dreams, that sexual shit. We all know what that is, and if you don’t you’re probably too young to be on the internet. A lot of the time, these dreams are purely just hormone induced, typically during puberty or if you’re trans, when you go on hormones and go through SECOND puberty (as a trans masc on T, believe me that shit hits you HARD at like months 3-7). But when Hypnos gets involved in these dreams it’s a reminder he isn’t just a gentle comforting being like he’s mostly portrayed as, but has a very much adult oriented side. This is a god who had male and female lovers, many kids of his own and was mainly worshiped in Ancient Greece, a very much sex everywhere time period. Seriously the amount of porn (gay porn to be exact) on Ancient Greek pottery is wild. And Roman coins too, there’s a bunch of them found.

So yeah, he’s got his gentle side, his more gloomy gothic side (nightmares, being the twin of death etc) and his “here have the kinkiest dream of your life” side. And there’s plenty of reasons why he’d send you a sexual dream to begin with. Helping you realise your sexuality, getting you to take notice of your pent up hormones, helping you realise you’re indeed attracted to that person you dreamed about, or alternatively that your NOT into them if you wake up thinking ‘ew, why them?’

And as for sexual trauma, sometimes those nightmares are simply PTSD, your own subconscious reacting to trauma. And sometimes like I said with the nightmares, it’s Hypnos telling you that you NEED to work through that trauma, to help you realise just how badly it’s hurting you subconsciously.

You can absolutely go to him for advice or help with these kinds of dreams, it’s within his domain so he absolutely won’t judge. He’s a god, he’s more knowledgeable and powerful than any of us will ever be, no god truly cares how much or how little mortals desire and act upon sexual urges (you know, unless it’s non consentual, you’ll get your ass kicked for that. ALWAYS get consent guys, and ALWAYS support victims).

Sex is still a stigmatised thing, despite the fact it’s literally how babies are made and completely natural. Even more stigmatised is queer and kinky sex/fantasies. So that societal pressure drilled into us from the moment we gain conciseness can make it feel like we can’t talk about it to anyone, even deities. Or that only deities directly linked to sex (e.g. Aphrodite and Eros) are the only acceptable ones to talk to. Get that idea out of your head ok? Because any deity will be open to talking about it, helping you with it etc. again, they’re deities. They couldn’t care less what us humans are into as long as it’s safe and consensual.

In fact, there’s a bit out there to suggest Eros and Hypnos were worshipped alongside each other. What is the bed used for other than sleeping? Exactly, sex. The bed is seen as a scarred place not only because it’s where you’re safe from the woes of the waking world, but because you invite people into it to perform acts that involve love and trust.

And what about if you’ve had a sexual dream WITH a deity in it? That’s probably a whole can of worms to be opened, I’m sure the godspousing people will probably be more of an expert on that than I am. Of course, it could just be your own subconscious, maybe you’ve got a bit of a crush on that deity (which is perfectly fine btw, unless they’re specifically a virgin deity who is all about staying celibate, then I’d raise an eyebrow). Or who knows? Maybe they’re trying to get something across to you. THAT is definitely something you’d want to talk about with them.

TLDR: Hypnos doesn’t care you have wet dreams, using your bed for sexual stuff etc. he’s absolutely ok with you talking to him about it, coming to him for help etc. don’t let the stigma around sex stop you from turning to him or any other deity for advice and guidance on your sexuality.

[tame-a-messenger]

Re: the last ask but only about the smosh games part, because I don't have fully formed opinions on pit tbh

I feel like with the amount of videos smosh games puts out, they couldn't do "love is blind" type videos 3 times a week. Logistically, energy wise, and financially.

The guesses videos are just a lot easier to produce and I feel pretty confident about saying that they need to do that to keep up the posting schedule. (Technically not those specific videos, but formats in that ball park.)

If they should is another question but probably they have to, because money. Idk how much profit smosh makes, but their margin must be a lot slimmer than people imagine. All the salaries they have to pay, etc. And yk how shayne and stuff talked about feeling like smosh would had to shut down if Anthony didn't come back. That makes me feel like they were barely turning profit in those times and now it prob is better, but not extremely more.

Smosh games is simultaneously the one that makes the best and the most boring videos. From all smosh channels, it is least consistent, and I think it very much has to do with the amount they produce. And realistically, that won't change.

They good thing is that you can skip a bunch of uploads and still have multiple new smosh games videos you can watch per week.

But yeah if all those considerations weren't on the table the perfect smosh games would be a lot of gaming content mixed with high energy character videos (love is blind falls under that too). And of course the pinnacle, characters playing video games.

Sadly my wish won't come true, because of what I just stated but also because the types of videos I enjoy typically get the least views on top of that (not always but yeah). I suffer from too great of taste djkds.

I think what you said about them having to turn profit is the sole reason they do so much of the "lackluster" content like the Guesses videos. Those videos get consistent views for all uploads (averaging about 600k views which I believe makes them "roughly" $18k if monetized) and are really easy to make, for filming and editing.

Like I've said and am sure everyone is aware of, they make a lot of videos because they know it'll get a certain number of views. Look at Reddit Stories! Whereas if one-off videos don't get views they don't do them again typically.

The topic of why they decide to certain videos isn't really what I'm the most peeved about. (even though it DOES peev me! It's at the least understandable why they do it)(we talked about how they could transition to doing other videos without loosing money here)

The main thing I want from Smosh is for them to better focus on what the ACTUAL community wants! somebody has to watch their content so they can make money? I don't understand why it's far and between when they do stuff for the fans. We've been saying that we want the Summer/Winter Games back since it's been gone, it's like whoever runs the creative directing(?) (whoever decides the video concepts) pays almost no attention to comments/generally anything Smosh related on the internet. It's like they only focus on their personal timeline and the trending tab.

(Rant incoming!->

Full shade, I really don't think the social team takes their jobs seriously. Something has to be going wrong behind the scenes for so much shit to come off so weird. Mainly talking about the disaster with Sword AF S2, idk who's idea it was to let the community know they couldn't do it WHEN IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE RELEASED. Their is no good reason they couldn't let us know sometime before. (however I am open to what they have to say) It just felt like they didn't really care about people that were excited. I had popcorn ready and my schedule cleared for the day so I could watch it :( waiting on the clock to watch the upload, just to get-> "Ooopsie! teehee! We didn't finish it! So sorry lol!" ...

They still haven't teased/released any further info about when it's coming back which makes me think they FOR SURE knew it wasn't gonna be ready by the date THEY FUCKING SET THEMSELVES, which again if they knew they couldn't do it in time why not announce like a week before? even an hour before would have been fine! but no, they sent out the community post at 10am pst when they were supposed to drop S2..)

The only thing the social team (if they handle this even) is the YT shorts and the Tiktoks. Pretty much everything else I can think of they could do better in my opinion

Sorry to rant about stuff I've already talked about, but this is really just to easy of a fix to not point out when I can.

Pay attention to what your community wants. You WILL get rewarded for it.

[ladymorghul]

So much for the "Helaemonds are going to harass and hate on the Al*s actress"…now that she's been cast, the hateful comments are 99% coming from their fellow Aemond stans, Al*s stans and Al*smond shippers who simply don't consider Gayle beautiful and sexy enough for to role but can't say the opposite out loud for obvious reasons and have to disguise their rhetoric as "I just don't think she fits the vibe of the character I got from reading the book" but we all see through them. Also the attempts some have been making to pin all of this bs on team black are sooo transparent. No, it's your friends and moots doing this, it's okay to admit it as sadly, you can count the team black stans who hated on this actress on one hand.

mhm... yeah.

thing is... this whole issue has multiple sides to it but to sum it up the best that i can: it's one thing to say "she wasn't what i had in mind" and another to say some of the things i've read.

i feel like some people don't realize the stuff they say sounds mean?

like they'll say "i expected a sexy witchy actress with sex appeal that would make men do a double and instead we got a woman who looks mousy" and it's like ?? tell us what you really think

but some of them even when they try to "defend" her it falls flat because they sound like "we all had in mind a beautiful, sexy witchy actress that would mesmerize aemond, but i'm excited to see what gayle will do too"

and as someone who's had to read a bunch of tweets and posts about how "they" (helaemonds being part of 'they') will hate the al*s actress, this is interesting

because it's one thing to have had a different mental image of al*s and maybe not be physically attracted to gayle (even though this is entirely irrelevant and unnecessary), but this is a case of disappointment that a woman doesn't fit their beauty standard... which.. yeah i won't get into it

like someone else said on twitter: god forbid a woman is not *insert whatever popular fancast here*

(sometimes i am always this 🤏 close to telling them that deep down they want megan fox but i'm trying not to choose violence lately)

this being said, while it is somethingTM to watch alysm*nd bullies who would say shit about helaemonds scramble to save face when the phone stars ringing in their house, i do hate that people genuinely think it's okay to speak of an actress like this and not give her a chance. and i'm especially talking about those who sounded nasty.

as for team black stans.... while they have a big issue with some people among them who gleefully say the grossest things about actors, i agree that this was mainly an issue with alysm*nds who felt disappointed by the casting

what those specically nasty team black stans do is different because they'll say shit about tom, olivia, etc. but what happened with gayle was specifically related to the "disappointment" some al*s stans felt when she was casted and what they had to say about it.

this being said, while the al*s stans have forever damaged my ability to even be curious of this character, that is irrelevant to how i feel about the actress. i wish gayle the best and i'm sure she'll do great! <3

i also want to underline that i'm not gonna answer too many asks about this

[cloudd-nyne]

3, 7, and 1

Skdkkwdkkek oh boy this ask game is gonna be FUN♡

1. The Character Everyone Gets Wrong

I wanted to be different and cool with this one and not pick one of the blorbos but god listen i have so many feelings about Sunny.

Hes a fantastically well written Character and i see so many people just utterly miss the POINT with him so hard it hurts me.

Like barely anyone actually addresses the fact that this kid has some DEEP issues that go beyond what we see in the main plot.

He often feels boiled down to "uwu sad baby cat cant do anything for himself uwu" and it drives me nuts.

Like i have a whole eassy in one of my discords about how hes dealing with repressed anger and violent thoughts and complete emotional relapse like aaaaah god i love him

(Dont ask for my essay on Zenitsu We'd be here all day LOL)

3. Screenshot Or Description Of The Worst Take You've Seen On Tumblr

Oh my GOD theres been quite a few honestly, but to this day one that still BOGGLES my mind was someone going on a rant in the precure tag about an implied crush/couple who had a 2 year age gap. They were going off about how gross and bad it was. Two. Years.

On that same note there was a decently popular blog for a MHA ship (wont say who not tryin to start shit) but they refused to consider the allmight/eraserhead ship due to the "problematic age gap"

Ah yes. The problematic age gap,,,,where the YOUNGER of the two is in his 30s,,,,

Literally the most terminally online takes I've literally ever they both made my brain wanna melt

(This was someone who was also calling BTS a cult and spewing a bunch of super racist shit about them, so like am i shocked? No lmfao)

7. What Character Did You Begin to Hate Not Because of Canon, But Because of How The Fandom acts About Them?

Well i went into kny already disliking uzui bc of the fandom, but eventually warmed up to him (ty to my lovely friends who have correct opinions about him LOL♡)

But in terms of "they were fine until i saw the fandom for them" theres a few. Mainly Senjuro (kny) and Basil (omori)

I wont go into huge detail bc im not looking to send people hate or make people who enjoy them feel bad, thats not my style and its frankly a shitty thing to do to people. (Purposefully make them feel bad for enjoying things, i mean.) but yeah frankly i do not care much for either character and both are purely bc of my interactions with their fans.

[schoolchaos]

I actually first learned about the stonewall riots because of an assignment in middle school. We had to write an essay and make a diorama about something that had a significant impact on New York so I just went "make it gay" because not only would that make me more interested in the topic while being a unique topic so my teacher isn't getting a bunch of Industrial Revolution dioramas and essays but also, then I could cheat with the diorama by just putting rainbows everywhere. I did not expect to go this detailed with a description of the box. I desperately want to recreate it...

So I, being the wannabe artist I am, sculpted some sort of chibi Marsha P. Johnson out of Crayola clay, gave her a rainbow flag, put a rainbow on the ground, and made her facing a poorly printed (my printer was broken but fuck off if you thought I'd draw that after already making Marsha out of clay) black and white picture of the Stonewall Inn (aside from the previously mentioned rainbows and Marsha P. Johnson, the inside of the box was mainly gray. Then I painted each side of the box a different color and glued rainbow hearts everywhere.

Read more for story time:

I was nervous about turning it in cuz I didn't want a single soul from my class seeing it for two reasons. Reason 1: Making a diorama about gay people? Seems pretty gay. Reason 2: This shit was fragile and the Marsha's arm holding the flag was at constant risk of falling off. I do not trust these homophobic, reckless middle schoolers. So I kept the box closed and put it at the teacher's desk with the rest of the dioramas.

Then, like, in between classes or something (we remained in the same classroom throughout the school day), I'm sitting with one of my friends and I see some kid who I don't talk to snooping around the dioramas. I die inside as I tell my friend "If he opens it and it breaks, I'm going to cry." And we watch as he opens the diorama across the classroom.

I was 100% convinced Marsha's arm fell off at this moment.

Later, I'm near the teacher's desk and he's snooping around AGAIN. So I just straight up go "Stop snooping around" or something and then he points at my diorama, the diorama with my name on it, the name he knows belongs to me, and goes "is this yours?" And I, dead inside, just nod. Then he asks, "Is it about gay people?" And, once again, I nod. Then he asks the best question I've ever heard, right up there with "is this yours" while knowing that the name on it is my name,

"What do gay people have to do with New York?"

For his sake, I'm pretending he just worded his question badly combined with my inherit bias against this kid because it sounded so much like he didn't know gay people or their history existed in New York. I answered the question with something like "The Stonewall Riots happened in Manhattan..." I was mainly offended because even if not for my interpretation of this being "gay people in NY???" Even if it was a different topic, like, if he asked "What does the Industrial Revolution have to do with New York?" I'd still be offended because that just means he's challenging me. Like he thinks I bullshitted this essay??? Like what do you mean "What do gay people have to do with New York?"?? READ THE ESSAY AND FIND OUT.

Also, the dioramas were put on display for the entire grade to see and vote on. I, who made a whole person out of clay regardless of how bad it was, did not make top 3. My friend, who scattered tiny gears and clock and steampunk pieces in a white room and called it the Industrial Revolution, was 3rd. First and second places don't matter because it was really just a popularity contest.

To this day I consider my loss an act of homophobia.

I am convinced that I lost because Marsha lost her arm during the voting because I never saw her after I voted.

So yeah, that was your friendly reminder that school sucks or something. This story was going somewhere, I swear.

Research projects are always fun because I tend to use them as an excuse to learn more about LGBTQ+ history. On the contrary, research presentations are horrifying because it feels like coming out to my entire class and I'd rather not.

[theangelmaker]

Helping Hand (Steve-O x Reader Fanfic)

i truly don’t know what i’m doing trying to write a good fanfic but believe when i say that i AM trying.

I sat stationary in the booth of the bustling night club watching some of my greatest friends hash out their finest memories of filming their first Jackass movie. Their excitement was all I needed to make me feel at home again after being away from them for what seemed like decades. I had been sipping on the same room temperature Miller Lite I’ve had since we all first arrived here, about 2 hours ago now. I can honestly say I don’t know how these guy are consistently drunk most of the time on set, it’s wild what they do to their bodies. Most of the time it would be luckily if they were only drunk on set; I blame Steve-O for being the first guy to show up stoned out of his mind to set on the first night.

I butted into as many conversations as I could but of course I was behind the camera not in front of it so my stories and add-ons could never be as entertaining as Johnny talking about his first person view of being in his rented car while it’s being completely demolished with him still inside. Crazy to think these men made it through the movie alive, but honestly I couldn’t be more grateful.

I’ve mainly been keeping an eye on the rowdy bunch of guys because you never know when something bad could happen. But it’s going on 3 hours we’ve been here and no one’s destroyed a table or barely even made a mess of the bar.

And wouldn’t you know it. I might’ve spoken too soon. 

“You dumb fuck there’s no way in Hell you’d actually do it.” Bam jokingly spat to Steve-O, knowing full well whatever he’s been talking about doing, he most certainly will.

“Oh yeah, dude? Is that a bet?” Steve-O quickly retorted wanting so badly to be told to do it.

I quickly turn my head to watch the two guys so I can stop or help whatever it is they’re wanting to do.

“I double- no, triple dog dare you to do it right now.” Ehren said so the rest of the crew could hear. Dave and Johnny whipped their attention over the Steve-O and pushed each other to get a better view of whatever stupid things Steve’s about to do.

“You idiots paying attention??” Steve-O said as he hold two empty beer bottles by the necks right over his temples.

I get up and get my knees onto the booth so I can get the higher ground as I ready myself to help if need be.

Steve-O breathes out sharply before swinging and nailing his forehead, with both bottles, straight on. I put my hand over my mouth and my eyes instinctively opened as wide as they could.

Naturally, he instantly went down and hit the floor fast and hard as his gravely yelps and cried rang out through the already blaring bar. Not many of the other patrons even turned or reacted to the site but I felt my heart stop, ‘Please be okay.’ I repeated over and over in my head

He was writhing on the cold tile floor as he released the bottles and held his hands up to his eyes.

I could barely see, hear, or even think straight as the rest of the crew shouted and praised Steve-O loudly for actually going through with a seemingly low end dare. I figured he was alright since he’s done much worse and everyone seemed like he was doing fine since they were just fist bumping and laughing hysterically together. But looking through a gap in the crowd you could still see Steve thrashing on the floor. You swallowed at you stared at him waiting for him to just blink it away and stand up and jump for joy with everyone else. But he never did. He just kept holding onto his eyes, pretty hard from what I could tell. I stood and started walking over to him, quietly pushing through people as they just chatting like everything went smoothly.

It took a second to get to him as quite a few people had gathered to see him break shit over his head. They slowly disappeared into the other crowds in the bar as you made your way to the now sweating Steve-O. You furrow your brows, confused as to why he seems to be so injured from this. You bent down on your knees as you place a hand on his damp back.

“Hey, Steve-O, look at me. You doing okay?” I calmly said to him, loud enough so he could hear but soft enough for him to know that it’s just me and he doesn’t need to act tough.

You figured he would give you a thumbs up, like all the guys do after it looked like a stunt went terrible but they ended up okay. But he did he just swiftly shook his head and cried out in pain.

“Speak to me, okay? What hurts? Your head?”

“My eyes.” He cried out with such strain

Your brows went back to normal as your eyes widened not knowing what to say to him.

“Oh. Okay okay I understand. Let’s get you to a mirror so I can check your eyes out. Do you think we can do that, Steve-O?” I uttered sympathetically as his cries shattered my heart. This was the last thing that should’ve happened tonight after such an amazing accomplishment like the movie.

He nodded softly as he moves to the fetal position. You can see his cheeks are streaked with tears and blotted with blood. Not overly, which was good but definitely enough to be concerned over. You wrapped your arm around his wife back and placed your other hand onto the side of his head as gentle but as firm as you could.

“Alright, ready? Three, Two, One, let’s go.” You say as he gets up to his feet. He doesn’t stand completely straight up so you can reach his head still. He keeps his hands over his eyes, like you expected.

“I’ll guide you to the restroom, Steve-O, don’t you worry about it.”

Luckily we were as close as we could be to the bathrooms. Just a couple steps to the right and I released his head for a moment as i pushed opened the swinging men’s bathroom door. Your secret prayers had been answered when you noticed that the room was empty. You breathed out a breathe you hadn’t realized you’d been holding in for quite some time. Slowly we inched our way to the sink.

“Alright, we finally made it to the mirror. Is it okay if I try to move your hands? I really need to see if your eyes are bleeding.” You try to sound calm again but your jitteriness is getting the better of you. You’re beyond worried you’re just going to see a big gust of blood as he removes his hands.

Someone has to be smiling down on us today because when I placed my hands over his, gently grabbing onto them, and slowly moving them down. I didn’t see much blood, besides the already bruising temples on both sides of his head.

“I’m sorry to ask this but can you open your eyes for me?”

You notice his bottom lip is quivering as he barely nods his head. Letting out a baited breath, he slowly opened eyes, turning his head from the beaming over head light. You get up close to him, as close as you’ve ever been to him, and looking around his eyes one at a time. You spot a few shards of glass on and around his eyes. You quickly get into your small hang bag and luckily found the tweezers you stuck in there haphazardly one evening. You gently place your left hand on his cheek as you place your thumb under his right eye.

“I’ll be as gentle as I can but this could hurt a bit.” You say softly to him. He just stares back at you but you know that ge understands that you could never do any true harm.

You tenderly pull down the skin under his eye to get a better angle of the glass shards in his water line. You tentatively pick out each tiny shard. There were close  to two dozen shards just in around the one eye. But you made sure to get it all out before moving onto the other one.

Steve-O’s eyes were insanely blood shot and the left one had bled a bit but luckily it stops quite quickly after removable of the glass. After you released his skin from under his eye he slowly blinked his awfully dried out eyes as a few tears seeped to the corner of his eye and down his reddened cheeks.

You let out another held in breath as you could finally calm down a bit from it all. You place a now sweaty hand onto his chilled shoulder. Sometime along the night he, as well as many of the other guys, took off his shirt to cool off. But now he’s absolutely freezing to the touch from his sweat cooling. You were honestly unsure of how to help him warm up so you just acted on instinct and wrapped your arms around his neck and gave some of the warmth you have to him.

He was a little taken aback by the sudden touch but he didn’t seem too mind much at all as he softly wrapped his arms around your waist. And squeezed a bit. He took a deep breath and seemed to calm down a pretty good amount.

“I’m surprised how badly hurt you got from the stunt. You scared me when you didn’t get up, Steve. I- I didn’t know what to think.”

He didn’t say anything. All you could feel was his calm breaths and you held each other in the crackling lighting of the dingy bathroom.

“You mean way too much to me to see you injured like that. I know it all could’ve been much worse. And I know you have had much worse in the past but I need you to be okay. Do you know what I mean?”

“I’m sorry I scared you.” Is all he could say. The last thing he wanted to do was scare you.

“Please don’t be sorry to me. I just care about you so much. What if I wasn’t there to get you up? Everyone else just stopped caring after you fell to the ground. Would you have even gotten help if I want around?”

“No, i would’ve toughed it out, probably.”

“I figured.” You sometimes hate how tough he needs to act around these guys. They’re his friends. He needs to be able to ask for help when he needs it. No matter how small the stunt is. Of course they help on the nasty falls but for something as little as this they seemed to just block him out.

“I love you too much for-.” You stopped talking, you didn’t mean to say love. But you do love him, just not in that way. You honestly don’t know anymore, you’ve known Steve for so long you can’t tell your feelings apart when it deals with him

“I love you too.” He whispered as he put his head in the crook of your neck and smiled.

——————————————————————————

Please let me know what y’all think. I never write so i was just experimenting. I hope y’all don’t hate it hahaha. Feedback is super appreciated!! I love y’all so so much ☠️🤍

[faceachefics]

Nancy Downs, Bonnie Harper, and Tiffany Valentine w/ a Demon S/O

This imagine is brought to you by Anon: 

Hiii could i request a witches x reader hc for their witch s/o being a demon 👀 kind of like Jennifer check vibes with nancy downs, tiffany valentine, bonnie? (The craft if you write for her)

I decided to take a few artistic liberties by combining Jennifer Check’s abilities and personality with my own understanding and interpretation of demons. Hope you enjoy <3

Nancy Downs

“Oh my god... it actually worked!”

The three witches sat in a triangle, around the spacious circle with your sigil inside it

Nancy is the first one who gets to see you. Rochelle and Bonnie can feel your energy, but they can’t see nor hear you. They have to watch their friend look up at and talk to basically nothing the whole time

She asks you to make her powerful and you’re like “fuck no″. The mood entirely changes from there

It’s very difficult to take her seriously when she’s clearly a novice. This was apparently her first time summoning, and she didn’t even know that you’re not one of those demons who give out powers like free candy

“So is there anything else you want? ‘Cause I have shit to do”

Nancy was dumbfounded by your attitude. She had no idea how to react. Before she could even say anything else, you disappeared into your home realm

Bonnie and Rochelle insisted that they just find someone else, but Nancy was persistent in getting something from you

Same shit, different day. You begrudgingly made a deal with her: you would tell her everything she wants to know about witchcraft, and she would give you your desired offerings

After that, the coven would regularly hold summoning rituals for you. Nancy, for a short while, would act as a middle-man for communication between you and the other two girls. They all would be able to hear you after a few evocations

She gets more curious about you as a non-human entity. She’ll ask you about your past. “Were you born like this?” “Have you killed anyone?” “What’s the freakiest thing you ever saw?” If you decide to answer your questions, she’ll lean closer to you and listen very intently

Because you’re a demon, you have a ‘human’ form you present to those who summon you, and the true inhuman form you remain in the rest of the time, mainly when you’re in your home realm. Nancy thinks your main form is very cool, or “sick” as she puts it. Since then, you alternate between appearances around her

Now listen, neither of you are romance people in this case. You’re gonna be kinda grossed out by your feelings for each other for the same reason: it makes you feel weak

If both of you can manage to get past vomiting out the words “I love you”, the relationship will get better from there

You’ll wear her clothes sometimes. If there’s anything that girl’s got going on, it’s her wardrobe. She’s caught you once or twice

“Hey! Is that my shirt?”

“Yeah, and it’s cute. What about it?”

She gets really flustered when you do that

Nancy once asked you to follow her to the metaphysical shop and stuff a bunch of things in her pockets since you’re invisible to most humans. Unfortunately, the clerk was, in fact, able to see you

Being a witness to some of your powers makes her want to be a devil like you. She’s asked you a few times if you could turn her into one Whether or not you could, your answer always ended the same: “Enjoy your short human life while you still have it. As awesome as I am, your time as a demon can really fuckin suck. Ask me again in like 30 years”

You two still aren’t very lovey-dovey, but you show your care for each other in subtle ways. Nancy avoids wearing silver around you. That narrows her accessories to a select few items, but if it’s to prevent you from getting hurt, she’ll deal with it. Before she performs her spells, you make sure she takes proper precautions (i.e. protection jars, warding, making a circle)

It’s an odd relationship between similar individuals from very different worlds, but it’s a fun and happy one -- happier than you like to admit

Bonnie Harper

You presented yourself to her first. She was the only one who could see and hear you, which made Nancy and Rochelle (especially Nancy) jealous

Before they were able to see you, she went on and on about how pretty you were

After the first few interactions, a co-dependent relationship between you and Bonnie forms. She has a tendency to confide in you a LOT. But you’re a demon, dammit, not a therapist!!

But because you pity her, you still give her advice whenever you can, but made it clear that you were not to repeat yourself

Your attitude is less “I can fix her 🥺” and more “Fine, I’ll fix her 🙄”

You get a little offended when she calls herself a monster and voices her fear of you leaving because of that. Throughout your lifespan, you had seen horrors beyond any human’s comprehension; and she actually thinks you’d abandon her for some childhood burn marks? You were having none of that

“I will only say this once, so listen: Your scars are a symbol that you went through hell and survived it. Whoever that loves or respects you less after seeing them is a pussy. Now you’re not gonna insult me by continuing to talk down to yourself like that, right?”

Those words stuck with her, and whenever she sees her burn marks, she thinks about what you said

To further prove your point, you’re in your true form a lot more when you were around her. Over time, she realizes she still loves you, even when you look like a literal monster. After that, she’s more careful with how she talks about herself

While you’re trying to help her out, you also have your own inner conflict going on. These mushy, gross human feelings are starting to get to you. You were actually starting to... to... care about her 🤢

She made you both matching bracelets out of embroidery floss and a few tiny charms. If this were anyone else, they’d be on your shit list. But since it was Bonnie’s genuine attempt to show appreciation for you, you were like “Ugh fine I’ll never take it off and cherish it for eternity I guess”

Even with how nonchalant you tried to be, she could tell you actually meant it

Bonnie likes to touch you. She’s a very touch deprived person, so physical affection is very important to her. Your body temperature’s a little higher than the average human’s, which is very comforting for her. She leans onto you when she’s cold, and sometimes she asks you to lie with her at night until she falls asleep. 

Your touch also reminds her that you’re real. It’s rare for anyone to acknowledge her existence. As mean as you can be sometimes, you still treat her like she’s important, and someone deserving of intimacy. The fact that a demon makes her feel like a human being is something she struggles to believe sometimes

During some of your late night conversations, she would ask you about the afterlife. If there was one, what it looked like, if you lived there, etc. One question that stood out among the rest:

“When I die, would I still be able to see you again?”

Much to her dismay, you couldn’t give her a straight answer. What happens to human spirits after they leave their bodies isn’t up to you. But that doesn’t stop her from hoping she can be with you forever, even after death

Tiffany Valentine

She summoned you with the purpose of helping her find this guy named “Chucky”. Her offerings consist of wine and fresh corpses for you to feast on. As a demon, nothing quite shocks you these days, but a human willingly sacrifice another for you isn’t something you encounter often, if at all

《NSFW mention ahead》

"Well aren’t you a looker.”

She took quite the liking to you right away. Her eyes were solely on you when you spoke. This is no surprise, considering her type is people who practically wear “DANGER” signs with big, red flashing lights wherever they go

When you ask Tiffany about her long lost lover, she only talks about the ‘good’ parts of their relationship, which sounded to be few and far between. Before she says anything bad about him, she stops herself and gets quiet every time. You have to press her on the topic if you want all the details

Once the full story is presented to you, you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. She spent 5 years looking for some git who never gave her appreciation nor respect? Was she fucking for real? 

And he wasn’t even that cute :/

Your dynamic is a role reversal from all of Tiff’s other interactions. She normally gets herself stuck with guys who try (and fail) to impress her. But in this case, she’s the one trying to impress you

Speaking of role reversal, you’re the one doing the seducing. While she eagerly reciprocates, you started the sweet talk and lingering touches. If we’re being honest here, you’re really hoping to make her fall for you and forget about her shitty excuse of a partner

Listen, she’s pretty hot and she deserves better, so it’s justified

She flirts with you a LOT. Because your sensibility is unlike that of a human’s, she really doesn’t hold back

“I wonder what your anatomy’s like below the belt~”

“Wanna find out?”

You admire her boldness, and enjoy the affection she gives you

And yes, you do end up falling for her, too. Normally that wouldn’t sit well at all, but Tiff’s constant raving about romance had affected the way you view it. Romance is a vulnerable thing -- that much is true, but the fact that it had led a couple to kill for one another means it can simultaneously be one of the most powerful emotions someone can have

At some point, you both have to acknowledge the feelings you have for each other. However, that doesn’t take care of the one thing you were tasked to do. While Tiff loves you, she still wants to find Chucky. At this point, she feels she’s in to deep because of how many years she sank into this case. Where do you go from here? Well there’s two options:

If you commit to helping her find her beloved ‘boyfriend’, there’s gonna be some adjustments that both you and Charles have to make. You two will butt heads quite frequently, especially on how he treats Tiffany. When they argue with each other, she’ll quote you on one of the many things you’ve told her about companionship. Unfortunately for him, since he can’t kill you, he’d have to cave to the pressure eventually

If you convince her that she deserves better than Chucky, she’ll ditch the search, and you’ll be her new partner in crime. As a sign of trust, you’ll bite her, which will grant her some of your abilities. From that point forward, you and Tiff would be partners in crime for as long as you’re together

Either way you choose, Tiffany loves you dearly, and you will always have each other’s backs. That love won’t be taken for granted ever again

[wincestisasincest]

I cannot put how much I appreciate waves on the shores into words like oh my god I think this is some of the best writing I’ve ever read in my entire life, I spend hours poring over the words and rereading each word until it’s burnt into my mind and I can recall random paragraphs to memory. The characterisation of Penny? The descriptive writing? Your absolute GENIUS incorporation of hextech and just the vibes your fic gives are absolutely impeccable. You are very much an inspiration to many including myself and honest to god your writing deserves so much more attention.

On a somewhat unrelated tangent do you ever think about what Penny would be like in the timeline where the arcane series takes place and what changes she’d make to the story?

Okay so first, sorry that this took me forever to answer this week was insane but akerhnkejthekt I got this at work and after I read it I had to go to the bathroom because I almost cried????????

Like yeah holy shit I don't know how else to say it other than I like unironically had tears in my eyes like the emotional loser that I am. Thank you thank you thank you this made my very shitty week a lot better

As for your question, yes, I have! here are a bunch of ways that it could go down, though I’m not bold enough to think that I could rewrite the perfection of Arcane. But here are my thoughts regardless!

Had she never met Viktor and Jayce, I could see her being way more involved in Zaun. In the first act, she’d come over with another gang or something that would help Silco take over Zaun, not really there because she wants to be, but there nonetheless. At one point, Singed or Silco recognizes this vulnerability and ends up conspiring with her to make the members of her gang the first test subjects of Shimmer (instead of Deckard), simultaneously giving them Shimmer monsters and getting some freedom for herself. However, when the battle against Vander goes down and she has to see what Shimmer properly does to people, it really fucks her up, and she realizes that, if this is to be the “base violence necessary for change,” then she doesn’t want anything to do with change, and goes back to Bilgewater.  

Between Act 1 and 2, she grows up and is, in general, a menace.

In Act 2 she comes back, for whatever reason, and gets involved with the plot. This one’s a little fuzzy, but the main reason why I chose to do it in the time skip instead of the main series was because I couldn’t think of a way where she could reasonably fall in love with Viktor in this time without sacrificing the plot and character growth. Acts 2 and 3 move pretty fast, and I wanted to take my time here.

It would depend on how close she is to the boys here, but I could mainly see her spending a lot of time with Heimerdinger, because both Heimerdinger and her would basically have to watch the same mistakes repeat themselves all over again. Her past experience with making weapons she’d see in Jayce, prioritizing survival above all else she’d see in Viktor, and, in general, Bilgewater is reflected in the power struggle. Powerful people are desperate to keep it and desperate people want a taste of power.

Towards the end, ideally, she and Heimerdinger (with some help from Ekko) would get over themselves and realize that they can break the cycle. Or maybe things would get worse >:)

As for what this would look like…

“You’re… you’re using Shimmer,” you hissed.

“And so what if I am?” Viktor said coldly, focused on measuring the correct amount of that slick purple substance to the milligram.

“So what?! I dunno if you’ve heard, but that shit is dangerous,” you scoffed, pulling his chair back from the desk and forcing yourself into the gap, blocking him off from his work with your body, “the hell are you trying to do?”

“This doesn’t concern you.”

“I didn’t ask if it concerned me.”

“I’m not going to explain it to you,” he growled, spying the drug as he looked around either side of your hips.

“Gods, look at you!” you shouted, “You know, I could fucking report you right now and you’d lose everything, but you’re not even worried about that! How much have you had?”

He tapped his foot impatiently, and it sounded like the slam of metal doors.

“Well?” you asked again, not letting up.

“You may tattle if you wish – I won’t stop you. But if you plan to take it away yourself,” he found your eyes, burning through your bravado with his piss-yellow irises, “you should expect resistance.”

“Put your dick away, I’m not gonna stop you either if you wanna kill yourself,” you spat, “but you should know what you’re getting into.”

“I know what-“

“No, you don’t.”

“Perhaps if you were terminally ill, you could not find it within yourself to stay around, but I do not succumb as easily,” he stood up, leering down at you. You didn’t budge.

“Of course you don’t, you’re too busy succumbing to something else!”

“Then do something about it or get out of my way.”  

You got the full width of his shoulders now that he was no longer huddled in on himself, clinging to his crutch. In fact, it looked like nothing had been wrong with his leg in the first place – he was standing perfectly straight, no pain, not even a whisper of a limp. He’d rewritten his own past and left everyone else to put the pieces together.

“You’re a dead man walking,” you brushed past him and slipped into the hallway.

It took everything inside of you to not turn around and smash that vial into the floor. You would’ve enjoyed watching him scramble to the ground as the flower-shaped splatter mark slipped between his fingers. But you saw what happened to Heimerdinger.

Nothing would change anyway. It was the same old story, except this time, you were just a blank face in the audience.

[phantomdecibel]

I’m not going in and editing this word vomit but like. fair warning, I did write it at two AM so. take that as you will

OKAY SO

Purgatory aka today’s event. Its kind of a tournament, yeah, but not exactly like MCC lmao

All of the players on the server have been split into three teams (I wanna say there’s about… ten players per team? not positive tho, idk exactly how many people are on the server) and were sent o a whole new server while quesadilla island undergoes “maintenance”. Each team, blue green and red, have their own island triangulated around the spawn island, and they have to collect a shitton of various items to turn in for their tasks. Global tasks are first come first serve at spawn, and then everyone has personal tasks they complete at their team’s island. Completing the tasks earn them points, so does killing other players (supposedly) and just. logging on I think? The rules were explained hours ago man, I’m not certain on that last one. There’s one global,, progress bar split between the three colours, so if one team were to have 100% of the progress the other two would have 0% etc.

The “they” in question in that one post u linked is the red team! At that point in time (and the point when the streamer I was watching got kicked) the red team was beating the green team, and the blue team was winning by a LANDSLIDE. this was scuffed for a number of reasons but mainly: green was trying, and for the last couple of hours, red was not

(in all seriousness thst’s probably bc when red was trying they claimed a whole bunch of the global tasks, which seemed to gain teams the most points. It was scuffed for so many other reasons tho and was HILARIOUS)

red also had like half the members green and blue did, because literally (nearly?) every player who did not regularly log on or play consitantly/would not be participating in the event was on red team XD

they had like. half the team members the other two teams had

also, a number of the players they did have weren’t used to streaming for extended periods of time (like, 1-3 hours generally) and the event was seven whole hours so by the time the end of this shit was rolling around! they were losing their minds! They got a bit targeted by the other two teams, half the items they needed were incredibly difficult to get, and everyone kept getting fucked up by the random inversed controls, un/lucky mining drops, and firey death from above, so by the time three hours rolled around, red was completely demoralized and just. stopped trying lmao. And hour after that and they were still beating green. Who were still trying. So yeah! Scuffed!

and on top of all that the eggs are still missing, the new Eye Overlord hates their guts, and there’s one team that if they lose, the eggs will all die! Oh and no one knows which team it is so. Theyre all at eachother’s throats!

I want to tell you about the Shenanigans of the red team. bc they were hilarious. feel free to stop reading here if it’s not interesting, but I think you might enjoy the Many Ways these mfs lost their damn minds :) so here’s a lil rundown

So red was; Philza, Foolish, Cellbit, Slimesicle, JaidenAnimations, Baghera, Felps, Carré, Wilbur, German, Vegetta, and Willy, of which only the first six and Carré where on, though Carré left shortly before they all lost their damn minds haha. Those five who weren’t online don’t log on very often or weren’t expected to join in on the event, and Carré wasn’t making any promises about logging in consistently lol

They’re dropped in a glass dome – I assumed the other teams were too, but I saw someone mention that that might not be the case? and everything is foggy and tainted red. Immediately they start trying to break out, though they’re in adventure mode so it doesn’t really work, and the admins inform everyone that they’ll be put in survival once they choose a team name and leader. All of the team names are wonderful and amazing but red’s specifically is BOLAS?!???!, which I BELIEVE means balls, and their leader is Philza, though that’s really just on paper and doesn’t affect anything. Two of the island members are stated to be permanently dead which is an objectively hilarious way to justify them not wanting to play on the server if you ask me–

red is made up of less pvpers or grinders and more heavy lore people, so you just KNOW there’s some amazing jokes going on rn, charlie is amazing at improv and it fucking shows. The teams are also all tossed into their domes like the Eye Man was shaking them out of a burlap sack and despite being provided with parachutes there were many deaths lmfao

everything starts out pretty seriously all thins considered, everyone’s stressed as fuck bc their children’s lives are on the line, but red’s decent to madness starts with the blue team showing up out of fucking nowhere to kill them, and this is already several hours in so charlie has already started to lag a bit, and lures BadBoyHalo into a 1v1 so that the rest of red can ambush him – which is the exact moment that the world starts to burn and everyone is set on fire! At some point during the global warming moment the majority of red builds and hangs out in a hottub, though I was watching phil so I don’t know the exact details for that (speaking of phil. mans the designated leader and her immediately goes singleplayer hardcore mode and runs off on his own and escapes the map. The world is superflat ocean outside of the islands. Hes looting ships and is not supposed to (later the admins spawn 40-some swordfish on a ship to keep him from looting it kekw))

this spawns an Immense Hatred. red now loathes blue smile. oh also phil spends the first hour on half health bc there’s no food in their dome and it takes them that long to break out into the Larger World

one of the teams is cursed btw and if they lose then all the players and eggs will die. they are not told which team this is. If one of the other teams win they get to “pick some of the eggs” to bring back with them, so everyone is very stressed. Red goes in immediately knowing they are fucked, they go through soooo many ups and downs of hope and despair, starting with despair and coming out of the first blue confrontation with hope bc turns out Carré is cracked at pvp. he is their mascot their lil guy

the teams all start discord calls which is where the chaos really starts, honestly the (red for sure haven’t checked the other teams yet) stream is just very entertaining in general even if you don’t watch qsmp, with charlie going full weasel mode and spying on the other teams and then hopping back to red all excited to tell them what blue or green are up to so they can sabotage, since they’ve lost all hope of winning. Foolish dehydrates to death. Charlie drowns and says that he was trying to drink lmao. no one can mine stone btw, the server is glitched for the first hour or two. about an hour and fifteen in red has 16 deaths (blue has 8 and green has 4. cue more despair/acceptance. they barely have iron and étoiles almost has full diamond armour apparently. the server decides to reverse the controls. phil is unaffected by this for the first little while lmao, but once the inversed controls do hit him he decides he can’t do this sober and Acquires Alcohol

like this main is just sitting in the sky with jaiden sipping his fancy lil drink watching cellbit get mauled by a mob. they have money called ‘bings’. the inversed controls go back to normal. phil locks jaiden in a hole. This torment is for two whole weeks.

the discord group starts up around the 3h mark on phil’s stream and it is. incredibly entertaining. it's close to midnight for this man. “but your body still exists right” after cellbit dies in lava is a great sentence out of context

and then we get another despair spike! bbh kills charlie in cold blood with all their task stuff on him :) this entire time baghera has been trying to convince phil to go on a murder spree, and charlie decides that killing bbh is his new life goal. they still have hope for day two. cellbit gets stuck inside a block and mobs spawn Directly On Players. Something exlodes. phil abandons everyone to Return to The Ocean while the rest of red moves the base underground and discuss how to absolutely fuck up the other teams (“I think we need to resort to gorilla warfare” and “this was actually my plan to kill your child” – charlie qsmp purgatory event 2023)

carré really is just their lil guy hes so quiet while theyre on the discord call man they call him their mascot-

“who’s ready to become real unhealthy on the qsmp?” – charlie, again, he has so many banger quotes. Already they deciede to say fuck the rules we do what we want. Cue turning off chat to avoid seeing jaiden’s death message. Foolish is out for blood, and so is cellbit, and baghera is still begging phil to commit as many murders as possible. “my head is wood?!?!!??” “hey man and I c=sincerely mean this; *starts barking*”. blue mounts their attack, which charlie finds out about via eavesdropping. missa hops into the discod to tell them that he loves them (aww). the sun starts burning everything alive and red builds a fucking hottub. Its like four blocks big and baghera is doing the poledancing emote. carré puts a fish in the hottbu. charlie is still trying to do that 1v1 (and failing, just slightly). blue is still trying to kill them and carré pops off and kills them all. This event is going to shatter their in-lore community but red has just devolved into just chilling and hanging out and also practicing phsycological warfare

Ehhhhhhhhh gonna skip to them losing their minds bc its my favourite part smile. blue keeps spawncamping red and just keeps showing back up to slaughter them. blue and green team up to kill red, having had zero conflict between the two so far and everything kinda spirals from there. At one point bad kills jaiden for the sole purpose of stealing her hat. phil still has his drink and it is probably not helping. you can hear both cellbit and charlie losing their voices. they've been pack bonding and it shows, if these motherfuckers get split up I’m rioting. phil hunts down tubbo. charlie has begun to refer to himself as mama and the other red are his children/litter and he is on a mission to feed them all (“I am coming to spawn with bread for my sweet children. I have wheat for my litter”)

they're on their way to spawn and being hunted by phantoms, though when they get there they’re killed by green with enchants, and blue is there too (killing). everything is in shambles, and falling to pieces. charlie's bread is stolen, though he gets it back eventually. jaiden declares herself the king of pirates. Their apple tree starts to burn down. Blue shows back up to spawncamp them again, and then phil and charlie die to green again, and red Officially Gives Up

Charlie Hates Everyone who’s not red now (his words), phil is surprised they didn’t quit sooner. they have given up on the eggs and are yelling its hilarious. “we cant even place blocks over half of our fuxking land because my bodies litter the ground” – charlie, shaking with rage and on the verge of tears (losing his voice), and contemplates leaving in a boat forever. He’s making Noises, just some straight up Sounds. he is yelling XD “slime armour??? I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF ITS MADE WITH REAL SLIME!!!” phil is back in his boat 10k blocks out, charlie’s breakdown sounds like the first to reeeaally start. cellbit requests spectator mode

charlie and baghera decide to leave and start a survival letsplay, though charlie dies (agsin) before they can do that. étoiles has dmed phil to say that he hates everything. cellbit and charlie start beating the shit out of eachother, and baghera dies. I sincerely wonder what the other teams were thinking when they saw those death messages lmfao. phil is still out in the middle of nowhere looking for ships – and an admin shows up in front of him to spawn ten dozen swordfish. baghera starts screaming in the gamechat, and they deciede to build a little hut instead of doing tasks. foolish has devolved to wantingthe other teams to come kill them again so he can get angrier. “hatsune miku is going to log on and rip you a new one” – cellbit. baghera is begging the admins to kill her daughter so that she can fucking leave, she has also offered up her computer, her house, and her cat. they are still screaming in gamechat

cellbit builds a fireplace after they decide to huddle in a circle, and jaiden says that they don’t deserve fire. charlie asjks if they can pray for a second, and puts in in gc, as everyone else becomes lightheaded. jaiden screams out a kys though I don’t knowthe context over it, “just gas us already” – foolish. jaiden and charlie try to convince phil and foolsh to kill themselves in game to get back to their island quicker, and jaiden, charlie, cellbit, and baghera start burning themselves to death in the campfire. It is the most fun charlie has had all event, and then he attempts to gaslight bbh. “don’t die on-stream foolish, youll get banned-!” – philza. The brainwrinkles are smoothing out, and that is a subject of conversation

“spawn the ender dragon admins, fucking do it” – jaiden. they're all in hell and they want out. the body with all of baghera’s stuff has despawned, but no one gives a shit. They want to go to brazil instead of playing in the event. Or dysney. Or a real island, where they would have to amputate cellbit’s broken leg(?), because that would be more fun. It’s 1am for at least one of these people, and it shows. They have packbonded, and have vowed to build a town instead where they will trade people task materials for emeralds and combat log if anyone tries to fight them. Their trades are going to be very bad (one seed for one emerald). they make villager noises and build an emerald vault for the other teams to break  into. “I cant tell if im having a great time or a panic attack right now,” “we’re in a manic state” – charlie and jaiden, as foolish and phil make it back. they start throwing themselves in the fire again. phil tells the other teams that burning to death gives you more points, and then they start some impromptu karaoke and poledance around the fire over jaiden’s corpse, literally all four of them except cellbit (carré is just. gone, he didn’t even say goodbye kekw). none of the timers match up. charlie is going to stare at the potato in their fridge until it explodes but gets distracted by the fidget spinner phil brought back. charlie kills foolish for getting in the way of building their circular house, and charlie starts eavesdropping again. half their team isn’t just forever going to be missing and somehow theyre still in second place as they roleplay a village. Jaiden wants to pretend theyre back on quesadilla island and foolish decides to build a statue but gets sidetracked by the house’s windows being filled with dirt. they come up with two solutions which are fight god and kill quackity over and over again. baghera is out for phil’s blood she wants him dead. Jaiden turns her location back on on the map. phil decides to fistfight baghera to let off steam and after killing her lets her kill him. she beats him to death. he finds this hysterical. charlie kills jaiden and vice versa. cellbit kills jaiden for killing charlie. charlie kills cellbit for killing jaiden. foolish kills charlie for killing cellbit. jaoden tries to kill foolish for building stairs but he kills her first and the timers freeze. baghera gets kicked from the server and they all sit in a circle to confess their sins (cellbit: massmurder, charlie: knows there’s a code impersonating his daughter, foolish: clogged phil’s toilet. it devolved from there). phil logs out to see if the timer will reset (it does) (he gets banned from the server a second after). red declares that they were very happy with the way the day turned out, before deciding to just become Straight Up Creatures that are decrepit, committing cannibalism, making weird creature noises, crawling on the ground naked, hissing at torches. I want that so much. I want to both see and live that. they’re gonna ask the admins to give them special models before going back to the cannibalism point which like. Same. charlie goes to bbh’s chat to tell him that he changed his life which, in context with the previous discussion, is hilarious.

Anyways the admins have decided to try and rebalance the teams and honestly? If they do I will riot. Do Not separate them. they're amazing okay quackity don’t separate them. Rebalance the teams only if it will make red worse lET THEM GO FERAL OKAY!! jaiden asks for poison tipped claws instead of separating the team theyre so pack bonded okay they’re creatures. wish I had those vibes like damn. give them their enrichment puzzles. Honestly I feel like the cursed team, if it even exists, is just going to be whoever wins so that they get to bring the eggs back either way. This stream was hysterical. dont do it dont separate them. do not

ignore previous ask I have some three thousand words for you whenever you’re ready smile

Send it!

[mirinda03]

@leaflinerambles asked me for an essay so i complied

Here’s why c!tommy deserves better

Tommy Danger Kraken Careful Innit deserves better.

(All of this is about the characters btw. Sometimes i don't put c! Because honestly its a lot of putting that so just know that unless it says cc! I mean character)

Now, I know that can be a bit of a controversial take for.. some reason??? People may say that actually, he deserves to face the consequences of his actions and deserves to be punished.

. What the fuck.

That's a sixteen year old. That a teenager. He doesn't deserve to be 1. Abused 2. Traumatized 3. Manipulated 4. Used and 5. Taught a ‘lesson’ that i'm sure he’s been taught far fat too many times.

Tommy is a complex character. As we all know, he's regarded as the ‘protagonist’ of the dream smp or the ‘main character’. Now, of course, being the main character is a very subjective term and that is a whole other fucking essay that im not gonna get into right now—

BUT.

I do think in a way Tommy has been involved in a lot of the more.. main plots. From season one to season three.

And of course, with being the ‘main character’ (again, a purely subjective term because it depends on the point of view you watch) come a lot of things and a lot of trouble. Mainly, from our main ‘villain’ of the series.

C!Dream, the fucking bitch.

As we all know, c!Dream has had a weird obsession with c!Tommy since.. probably the beginning?

He liked to antagonize Tommy, but that wasn't exactly special. The man liked to antagonize everyone! He seemed to just want the most chaotic option, which of course ended with him antagonizing others often for his own entertainment.

I think, in a way, Dream always saw the smp as a game. His own little puppet show, where he could move the strings. He wanted complete control

But Tommy was more stubborn than the others. Tommy actively went against Dream from the start, like we see in the disc war. Or L’manberg, or during manberg, or new lmanb—

You get the idea.

Tommy never gave in, and Dream’s obsession grew.

So.. exile happened.

And like, i'm not sure what exactly dream was planning but i'm assuming he wanted to like.. ‘break’ tommy?? Make him more ‘compliant’ to his twisted game?

C!Tommy was, to put it simply, abused. No sugar coating, that was straight up abuse and gaslighting and manipulation. The burning his armor? Making sure no one got an invite? Keeping Tommy at low health? EVERYTHING??

That was all clear manipulation. Tommy.. went through a LOT in exile. It still affects him as we know. ‘Plain biomes, small holes, logstedshire’ among other things have been added to his list of stuff that sets him off.

(And also the waking up drowning?????)

And i know, Dream almost had tommy in his grasp. He almost broke him.

But Tommy resisted. Tommy pulled back at the last second, in that dirt tower. He was strong enough to realize what dream was doing was wrong an he ran from a toxic environment and situation and honestly? Good👏 for 👏 him 👏.

But the trauma stayed, in many ways. And even during the raccoonit arc, tommy didn't really.. get a chance to heal?

During the techno and tommy arc, tommy seemed to direct his hurt into lashing out at others. He got angry, he lashed out, and he hurt people. Even if im a tommy apologist, i can acknowledge that during his time of poor mental health he hurt other people and he had to apologize (and he did!! But im getting to that)

Now. I am.. very conflicted when it comes to techno and tommy’s relationship. I do believe that, somewhere deep inside, they both cared about each other. However, bias and fanon influence can get in the way so i'm not touching on that.

The one thing i'm saying? It wasn't exactly a healthy dynamic. And again, not saying anything because bias could get in the way, but Tommy realizing the error of his ways and realizing he HURT PEOPLE is such a huge milestone??

He took responsibility by joining tubbo again. He said how his trauma did not excuse shit and he acknowledged it and he tried to CHANGE.

Even when faced with people who exiled him, who shunned him or who weren't there to visit during exile, he decided to be better and he once again took the role of the troop rallier even when he KNEW how impossible the task would be. He SAW Techno’s wither skull vault. He knew it was a losing battle.

But he stayed strong. And he fought for L’Manberg, for the last reminder he had of Wilbur (and oh, wilbur and tommy’s relationship in canon is a whole other can of worms god—)

Just for it to get destroyed.

By his abuser, and two people he had trusted. People he RELIED on.

Blown, to the ground.

And then dream.

Dream saying their story isn't over. Their story would NEVER be over.

. Bone chilling. Genuinely so.

And still. He faced Dream. He faced his abuser, the person who in his own words ‘ruined him’ and he refused to back down.

He refused to let Tubbo die. He refused to lose.

And in the end, Dream was sent to jail. Retribution was sent!

.. right?

Wrong.

Because even after that, Tommy continues to be haunted by dream or by the literal CULTISTS trying to kill him.

And to top it all off, he gets fucking trapped in prison with his abuser surrounded by a bunch of triggers in a small cell. And have we mentioned how he's canonically claustrophobic?

Yeah.. that was bad.

One week. Trapped with his abuser.

And still, he stayed strong. Still, he refused to give in and stayed himself,

And what did he get for that?

Death.

Beaten to death by his abuser of all things.

And he was trapped in the void for two months. Two. Months.

But in the human world? It had only been days.

And he was so so shaken by it. He couldn't even touch other people, he couldn't take any damage, he was treated as a ghost by people, he was called a ‘science experiment’ and the one thing he wanted? Normality? It was taken away from his forever.

Again, by his abuser.

Hes a traumatized child soldier whos done plenty of wrong in his life, but he's also a kid who needs to heal and learn to have healthy relationships because one way or the other every healthy mentor figure in his life turned against him or got corrupted and now he feels alone and he DIED and he needs fucking therapy come on.

And we KNOW the dream isn't done. Far from it. We know dream will never, ever be done. He's too obsessed with the game, with his favorite toy to let the game end. To let the people rest

C!tommy is so broken and jaded and traumatized. But still, he chooses compassion. Despite the trauma, he refused to hurt his best friend. Despite it all, he refused to blow up him home. He stays true to himself and he stays strong and even when the world tries to mold him he doesn't break.

And believe me, the world tries to break him and mold him so many times. He’s been manipulated or used before by others, but he still keeps his attachments and he still keeps himself and i think thats fucking admirable.

So yeah. I wholeheartedly believe tommy deserves better as do the other members of bench trio because honestly they're also children and they all deserve to heal come ON.

But yeah thats the essay

[bestiepetedavidson]

Can I request hcs what Pete would do when you're standing in the middle of the night at his door, after a break up with your now ex boyfriend? Thankss ❣

yes! this game me inspo and i’m going to try to do a written-out story if that’s ok! :)

a/n: y’all this is the first story ish thing i’ve ever written so i apologize if it’s really bad/cringey! i feel like it’s extremely choppy but idrk how to fix it. constructive critism/suggestions/etc is ALWAYS appreciated! thank u! <3

song to listen to: i’m thinking adore you by bestie harry? idk it just fits hehe

tw: angst? i think? idk this is my first time writing this much lol. some strong language. ending with fluff :)

it was almost 3 am on a saturday night, pouring rain and thundering, and you were left crying on your now ex’s doorstep. you ran into your car, soaking wet. your boyfriend/girlfriend of 3 years, the person you were gonna marry- had just dumped you. they cheated on you with your best friend.

you had no one to talk to and nowhere to go. you’re pretty introverted, and the only people you really had were your ex-best friend, your ex, and your friend pete. and pete’s friends too, technically. they were mainly his friends but you would all hang out together, none of which you felt comfortable enough to go to.

you called pete- no answer. he probably still hasn’t left 30 Rock. but anyways, he had a lot on his plate. you continued to bawl as tears rolled down your cheeks and your mascara smudged underneath your eyes. you broke down and you couldn’t stop. he/she broke your heart into a million pieces in the matter of seconds. the past 3 years of your life had gone to waste.

you decided to just drive. you didn’t have anywhere to go because you were staying with him/her. you just drove around aimlessly for 20 minutes, still crying the whole time. then, you got a phone call. “pete”, your phone read. thank god. quickly, you pulled into a random grocery store’s parking lot. you picked the phone up and your bluetooth connected to your car.

“y/n” pete said. he sounded tired.

“yeah?” you responded, still crying.

“what happened? is everything okay?”

you tried to explain what had just happened, but you were too much of a crying mess for him to make out anything you were saying.

pete, confused, told you “y/n, i’m sorry, i can’t understand what you’re saying”. he took a deep breath, and continued. “do you want to come over? i just got home from work. we can talk it out”. his voice sounded worried

you agreed and hung up, and set your google maps to his apartment address. you started to blast a random spotify breakup playlist and drove.

~

a little later, at around 3:40, you finally made it. still soaking wet from the rain, you took the elevator up to his floor. you had somewhat calmed down, but you looked like you’ve been through a trainwreck. you knocked on pete’s door and he opened it to see you in your current state. the moment you saw him you just broke down, and he pulled you into a hug without saying anything.

so there you two were. just standing in the middle of the building’s hallway, hugging. in the middle of the night. he didn’t care that you were getting him and his clothes wet, and he didn’t care that he couldn’t go to sleep. he was simply focused on you and what was going on. he softly rubbed your back, and every time you would start shake uncontrollably again, he’d just hug you harder.

eventually, he suggested going back in. “y/n, let’s go inside and sit. you can tell me what’s going on and i’ll do my best to help.”

he held the door for you to go in, and you walked in and sat on his couch. he sat right next to you and there was a moment of silence before he decided to speak up. “hey.. y/n look at me. please.”

his words only made you cry more. he place his hand on your chin and slowly lifted it, giving you a slight “please tell me what’s going on” smile.

you took his hand off of your face and held on to his thumb. you were luckily able to get a hold of yourself and explained to him what had just happened, crying in between sentences. he didn’t take his eyes off of you for a second. he stayed there and listened to absolutely everything you had to stay, his thumb still in your hand. by the time you were done, any trace of makeup that was still on your eyes was a done deal, and it was all smeared on your cheeks. he took a deep breath and gave his opinions.

“wow.. y/ex/n is a fucking scumbag. no like seriously, what the actual fuck. who would do that? and especially to someone like you.. y/n you deserve so much better than that piece of shit. fuck him/her.”

you cried, and responded with “no, he/she’s right. i wasn’t worth it and y/bsf/n is so much better fit for him/her. she’s so much prettier and smarter and just better”

pete took a second. “y/n that is so fucking wrong. you can’t say that about yourself. you are beautiful and smart and amazing in every single way. anybody would be lucky as fuck to date you.”

you simply shrugged, he knew that he couldn’t technically change your mind and that you weren’t in a state to really believe that, so you just let it be. he took both of his hands and cupped your face.

“you are perfect.” he tried to wipe your cheeks with his thumbs but it only made things worse, spreading it all across your face. you looked across the room at that large mirror he had hanging on the wall and went “ah”, making fun of the way he made it look.

“hey, at least we have matching raccoon eyes now” pete said, smiling. to that you giggled, and he responded with “gahhh, there’s that smile i love”, as he hugged you again.

still sniffling but now with a smile on your face, you whispered “thank you” in his ear.

“anytime. and listen, you don’t get to talk about my best friend like that.” he responded

sending him another smile, you went to his bathroom to wash your face.

best friend, he said. nothing more.

while you still loved your ex boyfriend/girlfriend, you always secretly had a crush on pete. it was ever anything you would’ve acted on though. first of all, because of your friendship. you wouldn’t want to ruin the way things were. second, because you were dating someone. you loved them and you wouldn’t just cheat... but apparently they would. and did. third, you had just had your heart broken. you were in no state of mind to just go and admit your crush. but god, was it tempting. and it’s not like if you were to, you would want to start dating him. he most likely wouldn’t like you back, and even if he did, you wouldn’t want to date. you learned that you needed to take things slow, and pete knew that about himself too.

you walked back out, and you noticed that pete was in the kitchen, making tea. he knows that you love it. he saw you glaring and smiled, going “what? you love it.” you started to giggle because pete is absolutely not a tea person, but the gesture is just so cute. “shut up,” pete jokingly went, “we’re watching spongebob to help calm you and you’re sleeping here tonight”

“oh petey! how you’re just the sweetest!” you mocked him, smiling at each other.

you went to his closet to get a bunch of blankets, and soon enough, y’all were sitting & cuddling on his couch, watching spongebob on his couch, drinking tea, and cuddled up in a multitude of blankets. you were still worn out from sobbing and very tired, but. it was the perfect comfort spot. he always knew what to do. he was your comfort person.

he started smoking a blunt, (that’s pete for you) and he offered if you wanted a hit, but you declined. smirking, he decided to put it out. after an episode, it was already 4 am. you knew he was tired and so were you, so you suggested going to sleep, but pete insisted that y’all finish the episode. neither of you were really paying attention but it was kind of just playing in the background.

pete starts talking about random stuff going on, life stuff, making little jokes, the SNL show that he just did, etc etc. he’s sitting back on the couch and you’re on his side, head on his chest. you’ve cuddled platonically before so it’s nothing new. you’re both watching the screen and going in and out of conversation. at some point, you lift your head up off his chest, and you just stare at him while he’s continuing his story. he doesn’t really notice you getting up, and continues to talk about a recent standup he did.

watching his face, his jaw moving, talking, the way he speaks and the way his voice sounds, something changes in you and you feel the urgent need to kiss him. he notices that you’re looking at him. he turns his head and looks down at you. the second he notices that you’re staring at him, his words slowly fade out and he just looks into your eyes, forgetting what he as saying before. you’re still in his arms, but your head is up and you’re just staring at each other. there’s about 5 inches between your faces, and your heart starts racing. his does too.

“pete” you quietly whisper.

he softly presses his lips into yours and you kiss him back. his hand runs through your hair. his lips are perfect and it’s like you two were made for each other. the kiss lasts for like 10 seconds, and he slowly pulls away. you’re both at a loss for words, and you’re still staring into each other’s eyes. pete, breathless, quickly glances that the digital clock underneath his tv.

“wow,” pete says. “i’ve been waiting for as long as i can remember for this to happen and it happens at 4:20,” slowly creeping up a smile.

“i kno-” you start to respond, when you fully realize what he just said. you cackle out and can’t stop laughing, neither can he.

you pull him back into you as you’re both still giggling and you softly make out for a little longer. eventually you fall asleep in his arms, right on his couch. with spongebob still playing in the background :)

i hope u enjoyed my very first mess of a story <3 requests are open!

🤍🤍🤍

[princesssarcastia]

2021 Harry Potter Fanfic Primer

im here to point fingers at the incredible authors that have enabled my new interest in HP content.  im still conflicted and upset about it, tbh, but for now we’re leaning into the curve.  we’re getting out our shovel and finding out just how deep we can make the hole we’re in.  hand in unlovable hand my beloved <3.  anyway, these fics are wonderful, their authors are wonderful, and you should go read their stuff. if there’s a star next to it that means im losing my mind over it and always will be.

Creatively Maladjusted, by elumish on AO3, 101k  (they also have a wonderful writing advice blog on tumblr, @elumish, which I recommend following if you are a writer) 

A very excellent re-telling of harry’s first year at hogwarts if he were sorted into Slytherin, plus some more not!fic or piecemeal re-tellings of his second and part of his third year.  Harry, in this, has a slightly different trauma response to growing up with the Dursley’s.  He’s a bit quieter, and the signs are a bit more obvious to the people around him, and I enjoyed that immensely. 

Honestly, if you’re going to get sucked into something you have absolutely no business getting sucked into, elumish is the way to go, their fic is incredible. their teen wolf fic is also immaculate, if you’re so inclined. 

Dissonance, by ImpishTubist on AO3, 2.5k (@impishtubist on tumblr)

Set during fifth year.  Oblivious!Harry has always been a delightful trope when well executed, and this is well executed.  Plus, some angst between Remus and Harry over what Umbridge has been doing to him.

I would certainly recommend a lot of ImpishTubist’s other hp work on AO3, like Lacuna.

blow us all away, by rexcorvidae on AO3, 23k (@rexcorvidae on tumblr)

In progress (like, updated last week in progress).  Currently in the beginning of Harry’s first year.  Fem!Harry, Indian!Harry.  Hagrid puts Harry in touch with Remus when she has questions about her parents, and they become reluctant, traumatized, angst-ridden pen pals who keep missing each other’s true intentions like ships in the night.  hot DAMN do I love this fic.  there’s hints of the way the dursley’s treat Harry peaking through in her letters, and I appreciated the attention to “hmm, her experience as a girl of indian descent in britain under the thumb of a bunch of white people who like being Normal may not have been gucci”

Definitely comb through the rest of their HP fic, too, I may or may not have gone feral over it.

Where the Heart is, by silver_fish on AO3, 15k (@kohakhearts on tumblr)

Woof.  This one said, “hey, harry was probably SUPER depressed in the summer after fifth year.  like, clinically.  maybe someone should do something about that.”  Fuck yeah.  Then this one said, “that someone was Snape.”  You all know my opinions on Snape; generally, Bad.  But damn if this fic didn’t wholly convince me by the end of it.  I thought it was a very realistic way for Snape to start seeing Harry as a person all on his own, and not a proxy for Snape’s angst over James and Lily, respectively.  The angst is wonderful, the ending is even more so.

*bernie sanders voice* I am once again asking you to read through the rest of the author’s HP fic.  a lot of them have similar themes; there’s actually a great one with Molly that i’m not reccing here, Wonder.

☆Bindings, Bindings, by Quietlemonhush on AO3, 60k (@quietlemonhush on tumblr)

WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU HOW MUCH I ENJOYED/AM ENJOYING THIS.  If I had to pick a single fic and say “you, it’s your fault I’m stuck here,” it would be this one.  Anyway Lily in the afterlife is So Very Angry about how Petunia is treating Harry, and how Sirius is rotting in Azkaban, and how Remus is alone, that she literally brings herself back to life and drags James and Regulus with her.  All three of them are there to chew bubblegum and fix everything that went wrong after they died—and would you look at that, they’re all out of bubblegum!  There’s only Fury left.  That inciting premise is very crack, but every moment after that is very much not crack.  Lily and James love harry more than anything, the way a child should be loved; James and Sirius have the epic friendship of a lifetime; Sirius and Remus have staggering amounts of resolved sexual tension and take turns keeping each other in check; Regulus, though he realized that Voldemort and his family were shit before he died, is still unlearning all his racist bullshit and, also, years of trauma.  Actually, they’re all traumatized, but hey: now they have one another again and not a damn one of them seems inclined to let go anytime soon.  Quietlemonhush went, “hey, HP has a lot of Awful people in it, and a lot of Righteous people in it, and many of them are Very, Very Powerful; also, love is the most powerful force in the universe” and i said “hell yes tell me more right now.”  And then they did!

Quietlemonhush writes Sirius/Remus in a way that makes it sooo much fun to devour, so the rest of their HP fic is most certainly worth a look, if that’s your thing.

Rebuilding, by Colubrina on AO3, 113k (@colubrina on tumblr)

Hermione/Draco (*shrug emojis into the abyss* yeah, yeah, like none of us have ever been there before).  Takes place during Hogwarts 8th year, and while the beginning is, IMO, a little unfair to Ron, it gets much better.  Tells the story of Hermione and Draco clearing the air, learning to like each other, having some hormones over each other, and then falling in love.  Also tells the story of Hermione and Theo Nott becoming friends; the story of how every single 7th and 8th year student is fucked to hell by the war and the Carrows; the story of how they start an emotional support group about it and all become friends; and the story of, what the hell do you do with yourself after that kind of trauma?

I’ve been dipping in and out of Colubrina’s HP since before I was even on tumblr; I actually found them in those dark yesteryears when the only fandom interactions I had were on fanfiction.net.  Of such fame as Green Girl, which is an HP fic staple, and has also written a lot of wackier, crackier, and darker things than that.  If you don’t take yourself too seriously, I highly recommend many of their big HP works, though I imagine it’ll press some people’s buttons.  Colubrina’s work really does take up a corner of my mind whenever I’m in an HP mood, and will take up yours if you let it.

☆ all waiting is long, by shuofthewind on AO3, 149k ( @shu-of-the-wind on tumblr)

This is so well written that I can’t stop thinking about it.  It is occupying my mind when I lie awake at night, you know?  It’s one of those.  Hermione messes with something she probably shouldn’t have in Grimmauld Place, so when Sirius is sent through the Veil in the Department of Mysteries, she gets thrust into an alternate universe...in 1975.  Instead of handwaving it away, shuofthewind actually gets into the mechanics of it in a way that makes sense, to emphasize that hermione is never going home.  ever. The world she finds herself is shifted slightly to the left, quite a bit darker, but in a “the author is treating the idea of a society-wide conflict over blood purity much more seriously than JKR ever did” way, not a sensationalist way.  Now, Hermione has to grapple with all her grief at losing everyone she’s ever loved or known, the moral/ethical/magical implications of sharing what she knows about her future in an alternate world, and, you know, a goddamn war with people who want to murder her for being who she is.  This Hermione is smart, and she’s kind, and she’s powerful, and she’s making real friends.  If you hate JKR’s guts I’d go read this right now, because it delivers in all the ways she failed us.  It’s plotty, its got great world-building, and it pulls back the white curtain on the wizarding world to show you that, like real life, it’s multicultural and full of queer people...and the discrimination that comes with both.

shuofthewind write epics, mainly for the MCU, and I’ve read some of them a looooong time ago, so this fic kinda seemed out of left field for me but im SOOOO GLAD it exists.  If you want MCU fic you can sink your teeth into, go for it, but alas, they do not have any more HP fic (.......yet?)

Speak Now [+] Listen Now, by mrsfrizzle on AO3, 33k altogether

Harry reaches out to Remus for support because Umbridge is getting to him with her literal torture.  Remus, being a former professor, former mandatory reporter, person who loves Harry and has since he was born, and all around good man, tells Harry he has to tell someone, or Remus will.  It’s everything any adult looking back on that time in HP canon ever wanted, which is for an actual adult to say “what the fuck, those are literal chidlren” and then do something about it.  Then, a far more dangerous task: Harry trusts Remus enough to go to him about the Dursleys.  Harry and Remus’ relationship develops SO WELL, and there’s a bit of exploration about how Sirius may not exactly be guardian material, because he did in fact spend 12 years of his life getting tortured instead of growing up.  I think I’m actually going to go reread this right now, because it speaks to my id.

they do have some other HP fic which did not appeal to my hyperspecific wants, but may appeal to some of yours.  I think they’re also a published author, there should be a link on their profile page.

chase the stars, by Duskglass on AO3, 101k (@felix-duskglass on tumblr)

When Harry is five years old, a picture of him ends up in the Daily Prophet, and Sirius Black, Terror of Ministry Officials Touring Azkaban everywhere, gets a hold of that issue.  He then, in order: breaks out of Azkaban; crosses the countryside to Surrey; Finds Harry: Kidnaps Harry; Breaks Into Remus’ Apartment; starts processing (or maybe just acknowledging) his trauma from Azkaban, the war, and his childhood; and pines after Remus.  It’s a little plotty, and deals a lot (sometimes through flashbacks) with the specific awful things that happened to Sirius—largely because, after years in the constant presence of Dementors, those are nearly literally the only memories he has left.  It’s a wonder he’s got the strength to love Harry and Remus at all.  But then, maybe it isn’t.

This is a Very Serious Fic, but the rest of Duskglass’s HP work is actually just cracky enough to tickle your funny-bone, while still making you think “okay but why couldn’t we have done that in the first place.”

So!  That’s it for recs, for now.  These are all things I’ve found and read in the last month; if any of y’all are interested in my old HP recs, let me know and I can make a post for that, too.  While I’m still very conflicted about my choice of current fandom, I am not in ANY way conflicted about my taste in fic and authors.  Send these guys some love, read their fic if you’re so inclined, and leave some nice comments at the end of it.

[rivalsforlife]

Do you have anything you wished was different from Ace Attorney canon?

Hello I'm finally slowly starting to get around to answering some of these! Sorry for the wait.

Uh this ask got super long so a basic summary of it: narumitsu being canon in a well-written way would be nice even though I don't think it would ever happen, I stand by not bringing back Phoenix as a main protagonist in DD, and I'd also want to rewrite all of SOJ so that Apollo goes to Khura'in in place of Phoenix, to have more interesting character stuff going on.

So the longer answer is this:

Aside from some of the actually problematic stuff that I don't feel qualified to talk about, story-wise, I answered a sort of similar question about a year ago here. I have changed my opinions a little bit since then, particularly with regards to the canonicity of narumitsu... because while I do love narumitsu I feel like I don't trust Ace Attorney to actually do it properly. After all if this past November has taught us anything "making a ship canon" could actually be quite undesirable and I have no desire to see Phoenix and/or Edgeworth sent to superhell. (I literally know nothing else about supernatural sorry about that.)

If capcom were somehow able to make narumitsu canon but in an unobtrusive way and as a natural progression of the storyline, like oh hey, the court record profile for Miles Edgeworth's Obligatory Last-Case Appearance has Phoenix mention they're dating, and maybe there's a few lines suggesting they live with each other, but it's not like... taking the entire story to force them together and otherwise does not change the way they interact with each other and butcher one or both of their characterizations in the process? I'd definitely be happy about that. Not gonna lie even if they made narumitsu canon in the most terrible way possible I'd have a "holy shit I can't believe they did that it's the best day of my life" kind of moment before I could think about it critically. But I honestly see no chance of them ever actually making narumitsu canon, so that's quite unrealistic to hope for anyways.

Aside from that in that other ask I talked about basically the premise of an Apollo trilogy and not bringing back Phoenix as the main protagonist in DD, and I still stand by that, buuut in my other ask I did touch on making SOJ a different game where Apollo goes to Khura'in instead of Phoenix - and you know what I'm going to take some time to actually talk about my dream version of SOJ because there were a lot of little things about the one we got that I didn't like. And it's going to be very long. So it's under a cut.

SO yeah I talked about it a bit in the other ask. I think that Phoenix going to Khura'in is a rather weak idea both externally and in-universe. In one of the interviews, too lazy to find which one, Phoenix basically goes to Khura'in because the writers couldn't figure out how to challenge him anymore. ... And then they don't actually challenge him at all. Because oh well now we're going to this new country where they KILL DEFENSE ATTORNEYS WHO LOSE and then it's supposed to be *shocking* that Phoenix would risk his life for a kid or his best friend. you know the guy who ran across a burning bridge to save his best friend. you know the guy who got punched in the face, nearly killed by the mafia, and tazed trying to save his clients. This doesn't tell me anything new about Phoenix's character. His whole travel in Khura'in doesn't tell me anything new about Phoenix's character. Basically the only reason he's there is to see Maya - Maya who theoretically would be returning home in about two weeks. Maya who was still in her training for two more weeks when Phoenix visited so he wouldn't be able to see her anyways. ... And in the meantime Trucy had the biggest show of her life that was going to be on TV and Phoenix wasn't there for it. And of course Phoenix didn't return home after Trucy was accused of murder (yes he couldn't be there for the trial, but he definitely could have for the emotional support afterwards) and instead just sits for two weeks in Khura'in doing literally nothing after Ahlbi's trial.

(And yes I know about the anime prologue that has Phoenix think Maya's in danger... but that's not strictly canon since it's never mentioned in game, isn't technically a part of the game, and even still, why wouldn't he go home after knowing that Maya's safe and that Trucy had been ACCUSED OF MURDER. Honestly that's what makes me angriest about this whole thing is that it makes Phoenix out to be a terrible dad. We really don't need any more takes like that, especially not from canon.)

And what about Apollo, you may ask? Well, given case 5 of SOJ, Apollo actually has a personal link to Khura'in and ends up staying there afterwards... after being there for like a day or two. I should note here that it has been a while since I went through SOJ in its entirety so I am fuzzy on many of the details. But both through what I remember and some conversations with people who actually played the game recently, the motivation for Apollo to actually stay in Khura'in isn't that great. It mainly seemed like guilt about his dead dad who he hadn't been in contact with for years and had completely written off until a few days ago but oh he died and then went to go visit him so... better take up the law office!

If Apollo had gone to Khura'in in place of Phoenix and spent more time there, reconnecting with his childhood home and actually getting passionate seeing how corrupt the legal system is there (even though we have a corrupt legal system at home) and being driven to fix it, that would make for a stronger story, I think. The Khura'in plot is more personally focused around Apollo than it is Phoenix. Phoenix's connection to Khura'in is through Maya, but Maya doesn't really have much of a connection to it aside from "it's where spirit channeling is from and she trains there". But Apollo, I guess, grew up there. So it's so strange to me that they force all of Apollo's connection to Khura'in in the last case while Phoenix is running around doing who-knows-what for the rest of the game. Phoenix spends more time getting to know the state of Khura'in and the Defiant Dragons and case 3's whole thing but he isn't the one who in the end decides to sit down and fix it; that's all on Apollo. It almost feels like they forced one of the two plots in to everything. And it was probably conceived as a Phoenix story that they needed to fit Apollo into last minute because oops he's supposed to be a protagonist too.

Some other strengths to Apollo going to Khura'in include that it would shake up the character dynamics a bit. Instead of Phoenix defending Maya, it's Apollo defending Maya, and that's a particularly interesting thing to look at in the context of Khura'in's "we kill defense attorneys" system. Of course, Phoenix would risk his life to save Maya, 100%, every time. But what about Apollo, who hasn't met Maya, who only knows her as "Mr. Wright's former assistant" - would he risk his life for her? And I feel like Maya would argue more against him defending her because of that. "We're strangers, you don't know me, you don't have to risk your life defending me." (Sidenote that I was always upset that Maya didn't protest much when Phoenix offered to defend her, knowing his life was at risk - sure she knows him better and knows he's always been able to get her out of these situations, but at the same time, the fact that there was no "what about your daughter?" conversation sucks. I really wish SOJ wouldn't have like. completely forgotten about the phoenix-trucy father-daughterisms.)

Let's say Apollo goes to Khura'in. Phoenix stays at home. Phoenix gets a call from Apollo that's basically "uhh hi Mr. Wright you know your friend Maya, she's been arrested for murder, if I defend her and I lose we're both dead," then you can tie in to that moment in 6-2 where Phoenix (who can't make it in time for the trial!) believes in Apollo and his skills as an attorney, not just to save Maya's life, but also his own. It ties in a bit more to the overall challenge of defending someone at the risk of your own life. Again, Phoenix would have very few hesitations, if any, risking his life to defend Maya. Apollo may have more defending a stranger at the risk of his own life.

Then if you can actually have Apollo and Maya talk together that would be neat - Maya can tell him embarrassing stories about Phoenix's rookie days, for instance. Their dynamic would be quite a bit different from Phoenix and Maya's, and that would be an interesting thing to see, unlike what we have in SOJ where all of Maya's substantial interactions are with characters she already knows or brand new characters.

(It would also be pretty neat to know more spirit channeling politics and dive in more to Maya's perspective on Khura'in and also her role as upcoming Master of the Kurain Channeling Technique and where she plans to lead the village in the future and also reconcile with her family's bloody legacy, but I'm not quite sure how to fit that in right now.)

And how about Phoenix, back home in Japanifornia? Evidently he'd end up being in charge of defending Trucy. Now, I did love the siblingsisms in canon 6-2, but I feel like there is still potential for Phoenix defending Trucy. All of Apollo Justice has a bunch of good moments between Apollo and Trucy, and she's co-counsel on all his trials, but we've never had any substantial Phoenix and Trucy investigation or co-counsel moments. I feel like AU 6-2 would be a great opportunity to dive more into Phoenix and Trucy's relationship and how it may have changed after Phoenix got his badge back. Plus, Phoenix being "the only one who knows how she really feels on the inside", he'd have unique insider knowledge into some of the Gramarye stuff that comes up in the case and Trucy's personal connection to the Gramaryes, which Apollo knows a bit of, but Phoenix knows more of. ... Or at least, should know more of, given that he raised Trucy for nine years at this point and they're very close, and Phoenix knows her better than anyone else does, even if capcom has forgotten this.

... Of course having Athena defend the case would also be great because more Athena spotlight is never a bad thing, but it's hard to come up with a reason why Phoenix wouldn't be there to defend her. And doing more switcheroos in terms of role in the plot is a bit beyond the scope of what I have in mind right now. Sorry Athena.

Aside from that, Athena still gets Storyteller, Apollo still heads Turnabout Revolution, and Phoenix still gets the DLC case. Apollo stays in Khura'in in the end with a bit more to his motivations. Rather than it just being about carrying on Dhurke's legacy, it's also something Apollo is passionate about after all he witnessed here. While we're at it I'd still rework a lot of Turnabout Revolution to make it so that Phoenix genuinely believes in Atishon because that makes for sooo much more interesting of a plot and actual character development on Phoenix's part than "Maya was kidnapped again and Phoenix is only wrong when he has no other choice", but that'd require some more detail and this post is long enough already.

And in terms of other details that need to be sorted out, there's the question of why Apollo would need to go to Khura'in in the first place. I'd probably say something to do with Dhurke. Maybe he comes back a bit earlier - actually alive, maybe, though crossing borders would be a bit of a challenge, or he reaches out to Apollo remotely somehow and Apollo goes to yell in his face about abandoning him (or at least that's what he thinks he wants.) Then we could have some more Dhurke and Apollo bonding time, potentially? Idk, if you switch up Phoenix and Apollo you're pretty much writing a whole new game and obviously I have not worked out all the details, but I think if Capcom had tried to go with this route from the outset they'd have a stronger game. At least stronger character motivations.

So... yeah. Those are my opinions. If you read through this whole thing I'm very impressed because it got very long!

[falcqns]

Adore You

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Summary: 3 times Chris tries to tell you he loves you, and the 1 time he does.

Warnings: smut, angst, swearing, fluff

A/N: hope you enjoy!

Walk in your rainbow paradise  Strawberry lipstick state of mind

He first realized he was in love with you the first time he hung out with you off set.

The rest of your co stars were going to be filming late except you two, so you invited him over for a movie night, to which he agreed.

You had run around before he arrived making sure your apartment was presentable before he arrived. You made a whole bunch of snack, including your moms hot dip, which was a favourite of everyone who tried it.

When the doorbell rang, you walked up to let him in, and greeted him.

“Hey!” You said, giving him a smile.

“Hey, thanks for having me,” He said, taking off his shoes.

“Well, if you hadn’t come over, I would have had a very boring night involving me, my cat, and Harry Potter,” You joked. 

He took off his coat and hung it up. He looked around at your apartment as he followed you. You didn't have a very big apartment, but it looked very spacious, especially for Los Angeles. 

It was open concept, the kitchen, dining and living room all connected with a hallway leading back to what he guessed was the bedroom and bathroom.

“You've got a pretty nice place here,” He mentioned, as you poured him a drink in the kitchen.

You chuckled. “Well, it’s super cheap, it’s in a nice spot, and I knew the girl who rented it before me, she just moved to Hawaii with her baby daughter.” You finished before taking a sip of your own drink, and leading Chris over to the couch. 

Your faded calico cat, Rella, lifted her head up and meowed at the two of you, before climbing onto Chris.

“What’s her name?” He asked, as he pet her gently, and listened to her purr.

“Her names Rella, she’s my childhood cat. She’s getting older and my mom thought she’s be happier out here with me instead of home in Canada with my 3 loud siblings,” You said, watching as she got comfortable on his lap.

The two of you spent the rest of the night watching Harry Potter, and chatting, before Chris headed out around midnight with a promise of movie night being at his place. 

As he hugged you goodbye, he knew he wanted to tell you how much he loved you.

I get so lost inside your eyes Would you believe it?

The first time he tried to confess his feelings, he messed up.

He was too scared to tell you face to face, so he settled on sending you a bouquet of flowers with a note confessing.

Which, he did, but he (stupidly) forgot to sign the card which would tell you it was from him until after it was sent and he couldn't cancel it.

So when you called him ecstatic about having a secret admirer, his heart hurt a little. 

He was going to tell you it was him, but then you almost broke him in two with one sentence.

“I wonder if it’s from the man I’m in love with,” You asked, and his stomach dropped.

Of course you were in love with someone else. You were beautiful, strong, and an amazing actress. It only made sense, but it didn't hurt any less.

You don't have to say you love me You don't have to say nothing You don't have to say you're mine

When you announced you had a boyfriend, he tried to tell you again, which obviously didn't work either. 

Instead of just calmly telling you about his feelings, and acknowledging that he couldn't have you, he got angry. 

He wasn't angry at the fact that you were taken, he was angry at who you were dating. “I cannot believe you're dating Noah Centeno of all people,” He said.

You crossed your arms. “What’s wrong with Noah? He’s a nice guy, and I like him.” You reasoned.

He scoffed and looked up from the carrots he was cutting. “You don’t love him.”   

“I can see myself loving him,” 

He dropped the knife, and braced his hands on the counter before lifting his head and looking at you. 

“You should be dating someone you’re in love with, and who loves you back,” He said.

You slammed your glass on the counter top, and stood up.

“JUST BECAUSE I DON’T LOVE HIM NOW, DOESN’T MEAN I NEVER WILL!” You screamed. “WE’VE BEEN DATING A WEEK!”

“I DON’T CARE, Y/N! I’M TELLING YOU HE’S NOT GOOD FOR YOU, AND IT’S JUST GOING TO END BADLY!” He screamed right back at you.

“FUCK YOU! YOU SAY THAT ABOUT EVERY GUY I TAKE AN INTEREST IN AS IF IT’S ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS! I’M DONE WITH IT, CHRIS!” You screamed, tears streaming down your face as you turned away from him and grabbed your purse. You walked towards the door, and he came after you.

“Y/N, wait-” He started to say before you slammed the door in his face.

He turned away from the door to face Dodger.

“I fucked up bad, I know.” He said, and Dodger barked in agreement.

Honey I'd walk through fire for you Just let me adore you

Just as he’d suspected, your relationship crashed and sank to the bottom of the ocean quicker than the Titanic, but he didn’t find out until a drama news source got hold of the story, and announced it.

“Y/N Y/L/N and Noah Centeno are over,” The title read. 

He knew he shouldn’t click on it, that he shouldn’t believe it. But, as he scrolled further, he saw a post from you confirming the breakup.

‘I hate to have to make this post, but certain organizations have somehow gotten ahold of the news, and there’s no denying it. Noah and I have decided to end our relationship. I will not go into details about what happened between us in this post, but it’s not hard to figure out what happened if you google it. I have no ill feelings towards Noah, sometimes things just don’t work out. We had a great time together, and I will always be grateful for him.’ The post read.

He scrolled back up and clicked on the article. He lightly skimmed through it, before a sentence caught his eye.

‘Sources are reporting that the relationship ended when Centeno was spotted kissing another woman in a Las Vegas night club, when Y/N was at home in Canada visiting family.’

That mother fucker. 

He dialled your number and tried to call you, but you didn't answer, so he decided to text you instead.

‘Hey, Y/N. I just saw your post about you and Noah and I wanted to saw that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for a lot of things that I won't mention over text, but I’m mainly sorry for what that asshole did to you. I’m here for you if you  need anything, just let me know,” The message read. Sure, he had thought about telling you how he felt in that message, but he knew it wasn't the right time.

He sent the message, and you responded less than a minute later.

‘Why do you care? You got what you wanted, him out of my life. You were right, so I don’t know why you're even pretending to care.’

That hurt, he thought to himself, before putting his phone down. You were right of course. He was a complete asshole to you, so why was he pretending he cared, when he obviously didn't. He had gotten what he wanted, shouldn't he be happy?

Because you were hurting, that’s why.

Your wonder under summer skies (summer skies) Brown skin and lemon over ice Would you believe it?

He woke up the next morning, and decided that enough was enough, and he needed to tell you.

You hadn’t answered him all week, and he was getting annoyed. He wanted to talk to you, and sort shit out, but it’s kind of hard for him to do that when you refuse to talk to him, so he called Adrianne Palicki.

You were a part of the cast of The Orville, and Adrianne was one of your best friends.

“Hello?” She said as she answered.

“Hey, it’s Chris,” He said.

“Hey, what’s up,” she responded.

“Well, I was wondering if you could convince Y/N to talk to me,” he pleaded.

Adrianne sighed, before continuing. “I don’t know Chris, she’s pretty mad at you. I mean she refuses to even watch Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. any more, she’s so mad at you,” 

He ran his hands through his hair as he spoke again. “I know. I messed up bad. I just- I’m in love with her, and I let my feelings get the best of me, and I want to make it right. I just need you to get her to talk to me,”    

“Alright, I’ll talk to her. What do you want me to tell her?” Adrianne asked. 

“J-Just tell her to come to my place Saturday at 8, and I’ll explain everything.”

“Kay, I’ll tell her. But Evans, if you hurt her, I think I still have my Mockingbird batons around here somewhere,” She threatened, and Chris chuckled.

“You got it,” He said before hanging up. 

You had no idea how you had managed to let Adrianne talk you into this. I mean, you were still mad at Chris, and didn't see that ending anytime soon, yet here you were. Standing at his doorstep, at 7:55 on Saturday night.

You knocked, and heard Dodger barking before the door opened to reveal Chris.

“Hey,” He said, giving you a smile.

“Why am I here?” You stated, plainly.

He gestured you to come in, and you followed him. You took your shoes off, and followed him into the kitchen before you were attacked by Dodger.

“Hey, buddy! I missed you!” You exclaimed.

“Well, he’s not the only one,” Chris said, before handing you a drink as you stood up.

“Are you going to tell me why I’m here?” You said.

Chris sighed, before getting straight to the point. 

“I’m sorry for the way I acted, and for what I said. It was stupid, and I let my personal feelings get in the way of our friendship. I really am sorry,” he said, looking you deeply in the eyes.

Your eyebrows scrunched. 

“You’re personal feelings? What does that mean?”

He cleared his throat before confessing.

“You remember that bouquet of flowers you got from your ‘secret admirer’?”

You nodded. “Yeah...”   

He looked up at you. “That was from me,” He said, looking down at his feet.

He heard the sound of you putting your glass on the counter, and he looked up just in time to see you walk up to him, grab his face, and press your lips to his.

He put his glass down, and wrapped his arms around you, before lifting you up and onto the counter.

A few moments later, he broke the kiss, and looked you in the eyes.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” You asked, resting your forehead against his.

“I was scared. It’s a stupid excuse, but that’s it.” He responded, before kissing you again.

You don't have to say you love me I just wanna tell you something Lately you've been on my mind

Less than a minute later your back was pressed against the sheets of his bed, with his lips still on yours.

His lips left yours to trail down your neck, his beard tickling you sensitive skin there.

Chris ran his hand down your sundress clad body, and gripped your left leg, bringing it over his hip.

You moaned at the feeling of his jean covered hard on against your core.

You brought your hands up and around his neck. He pushed his tongue into your mouth as you tangled your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck.

He disconnected his lips from your skin, and looked you in the eye.

“You want this?” He mumbled out, and you nodded. He sat up on his knees and fumbled with the buttons on the front of your dress. He struggled for a few more moments before he gave up.

“I can’t get it,” He groaned, and you giggled.

You sat up and quickly undid them. Chris watched you for a few moments before he began stripping himself. Your dress was thrown on the floor, followed by his shirt and jeans moments later, before his mouth attacked yours once more.

You moaned out when he moved his mouth from your mouth to your chest. His hands trailed up from your hips, to your back to undo your bra, which he did successfully. 

He threw his head back and moaned at the sight of your uncovered breasts, before pressing kisses to them. 

You ran your fingers through his hair as his mouth moved lower.

He stopped just below your belly button, and his fingers looped into your underwear, before pulling them down.

He made eye contact with you, before lifting your left leg over his right shoulder, and diving into you. His tongue swiped over your clit twice, befarepressing into your entrance.

You cried out, and tugged on his hair.

“C-Chris, please,” You begged.

He removed his mouth from you to smirk in your direction.

“Yes, my love?”    

You groaned, and tugged on his hair again. “Get up here, and fuck me,”

He chuckled, but did as you asked. He sat up and tugged off his own underwear.

He spread your legs again, before gripping his own hard cock, and lining himself up with your entrance.

“Not my fault you taste like fucking heaven, baby,” He quipped. 

You rolled your eyes, and then threw your head back as he began to push in.

He bottomed out, and hovered over you again.

“You ready?” He asked, pressing a kiss to your nose.

“Obviously,” You said, before Chris pulled out slightly, and then snapped his hips against yours.

You cried out, gripping his biceps while he set a quick pace in his hips. 

Honey I'd walk through fire for you Just let me adore you

“I’ve wanted you like this for months, baby,” Chris growled out, snapping his hips against yours. “Ever since our first movie night, fuck.”

You moaned out. “I’ve wanted you like this since before we met,” 

Chris bottomed out, and ground his hips against yours. 

“Did he make you feel this good? Did he fill you like this?” Chris growled into your ear.

“N-No!” “Yeah, I’m the only one who makes you feel this good, right?” 

You nodded, and moved your hips under his. “I’m close, Chris,” You whined.

“Me too, baby, me too. God, you kill me,” He moaned out. “How’d you manage to make me last barely 5 minutes inside you,”

He dropped his torso against yours, and grasped your face in his hands.

“I want you to look at me when you cum baby,” He moaned, his thrusts becoming erratic.

You nodded, and wrapped your arms around his torso as you were barrelling towards your high, as was he.

He moved his right hand from your face, and snaked it in between your bodies, his thumb coming to rub circles on your clit.

“C’mon, baby, let go all over me,” He moaned in your ear, and you were pushed over the edge. 

You clamped down on. him, and he was pushed over as well.

Moments later, Chris collapsed against you, his head falling to your shoulder.

“I love you, too.” You whispered into his ear. “I realized I never told you.”

Chris chuckled. “We were a little busy, weren’t we?”      

You giggled, before connecting your lips once again.

Oh, honey Just let me adore you Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

[normal-thoughts-official]

magnus bane can cook anon here. also: cooking is a love language for raphael bc food is so rooted in community/family. they absolutely teach each other traditional recipes. big family meals hosted by father and son pls 🥺 or magnus making a comfort meal for himself when he's feeling nostalgic and inviting cat over for dinner bc she's been so busy and he wants to catch up while also making sure she's nourished--two birds, one stone (he absolutely makes her take home leftovers). let magnus cook...

ugh i know this ask is old but i'm not sure what you mean by "magnus bane can cook anon", like, if you sent me another ask about this, i didn't get it rip. unless it's something i have already answered and i don't remember, in that case i'm sorry

anyway, YOU ARE RIGHT! magnus being unable to cook is preposterous tbh, i will not listen to these lies. HE! IS! INDONESIAN! food is important! and as an immigrant in particular he knows that better than anyone because food is a way to keep connected to his roots, to his love, to his culture. i will not accept any "magnus can't cook" slander, he CAN! plus like you see the way he made alec's stew amazing?? yeah yeah he used magic but i doubt there is a "make this delicious" spell, he needed to have known WHAT he would have done to the stew, add this and this and that to alter the taste, so like? he knows how to handle himself in the kitchen okay and he knows what tastes good and what doesn't, he can cook

and he knows exactly how important food is as a love language and YES him and raphael!!!! i don't have to argue that raphael can cook of course, we all know he does, and again! immigrant! LATINO!!!!! food is so fucking important for latines in general, even non-immigrants, and i imagine that it is even more so for immigrants. it's part of your culture, part of who you are. and like! raphael has been unable to eat for so long! i bet he misses it so much and i think when he wants to thank magnus for something, food is the way to go

especially in the early years. he didn't have much he could have done for magnus when he was just a recently Turned vampire kid with nowhere to go and nothing to his name, but he COULD cook for him. and i bet he was ecstactic to. i hc that magnus grows his own ingredients at home because he simply doesn't trust gringo markets to have good food and while he can and will travel to jakarta every now and then to enjoy a good food market - again, it's an intrinsic part of his culture! of course he wants to go to those when he can, it's not just the food, it's the sharing and the experience - he also wants to grow his own food. plus i think he is attached to plants. you've seen the way he talks to snakes, you mean to tell me he doesn't have a bunch of plants he grows (both for potions and foods) and talks with and grooms and is all loving towards? nonsense. absurd. i won't listen to these lies

and YES i am projecting unto him but i don't care! magnus loves his little plant friends (they have been particularly therapeutic for him in the early years after camille i feel, when he was so lonely. of course he has his cats but cats aren't really fans of hanging out all the time and plants are always there and just looking at a plant you helped grow makes you feel so much better) and prunes them with so much love and care, and because of magic he can control the weather conditions so it's always ideal for them, and make sure they are well taken care of. but he likes to do it himself without the need of magic when he can, because it's all about bonding with the plants. and when he gets to literally take the fruits of his labor, well. it makes the food and potions even more special :)

actually i bet that it actually does make a difference for potions, like... when you know the ingredients and they have been grown with love and care and a connection to the warlock they are more powerful. because plants are living, breathing things that build connections, and magic connects all things, and also because i said so!

BACK TO COOKING

i think part of the reason we've never seen him cook tbh is just because it's so... intimate. like it requires opening up about his culture and his past and a part of who he is and how he feels is in a dish (as with every dish) so it's just... way more intimate and intense than just taking someone out to dinner or something. and most of his interactions in the show were with shadowhunters, whom he either doesn't trust for obvious reasons, or does trust (alec and izzy basically, maybe clary) but knows they don't really fully understand what it means to him so there's just too big a chance to feel like he wore his heart on his sleeve for nothing (i'm talking mainly about alec here cuz i don't think he'd cook for izzy or clary lol but i do think they're on his trusted or somewhat trusted list)

and with raphael it's just painful because raphael can't eat and that's a big thing that probably upsets him on the regular, like, it's another thing that makes him feel a- human; and b- connected to his culture. and when i say human i don't mean it as just "humans eat food", i mean it as in eating for humans is about socialization and self-expression and having that taken away from him makes him feel soulless

but that just makes raphael want to cook MORE! i mean we've seen him cooking for rosa('s nursing home) so that's pretty much canon anyway. and i have no doubts in my mind that raphael used to cook for magnus all the time. initially recipes he already knew from his mom and his abuela, because again, it's just... sharing who he is and almost like welcoming magnus as a part of his family, and magnus understands that 100% and probably cries the first time rapha makes him pozole or something (he knows it's rapha's comfort food and he's just had a hard day and he's tired and maybe a bit worn by depression and raphael makes it for him and he's just... so touched and overwhelmed by the immenseness of the gesture). and then magnus starts to tentatively teach him the recipes he remembers for his own mom and again that's just.... ugh the magnitude of that is incalculable. and rapha knows it too

and he's highkey nervous because he knows magnus hasn't really tasted this in so long and he doesn't want to butcher it, you know? and he can't try the food to see if it's good, he can basically only go by smell (which i figure he has perfected over the years but he's known magnus since the early years so that was probably harder by then) but magnus is just happy to have someone to pass this down to, you know? like he's cooked meals for ragnor, dot, cat, elias, etc., before (immortal squad dinner meetups where everyone brings their favorite foods from their childhoods and ragnor makes tea because no one is putting up with that shit <3) but passing the recipes on to someone else is a whole different deal, it speaks of their father-son bond and it's basically welcoming raphael into the family back, you know? and rapha knows

and from then on rapha starts cooking these recipes for magnus, particularly when he's feeling down or just as a thank you for everything he's done for him and aaaaaaaaaaa

and then of course eventually the potion that allows vampires to eat is created and raphael can FINALLY eat again and try all the recipes he's been making for magnus (and sometimes cat) for years!!! after of course the first order of business which is making himself some pozole and everything else he's been cooking for rosa and missing terribly. but AFTER he has his mexican feast they absolutely have one of these meetups again and everyone gives raphael a little something from their culture for him to try and it's just <3 beautiful and i need a moment

AND CAT YES. we all know cat is overworked to death and magnus will NOT put up with it. and food is a love language so you know <3 half the time she will get home and find some little delivery packages from magnus, dot, ragnor, elias, raphael, or all of them (lol) with food because they know sometimes she gets home too tired and skips dinner and she SHOULD NOT. and they all have little notes like "i've sealed it magically so it's still hot, enjoy <3" and it's just sweet okay

and then there are the dinners... not just the super big dinners they all have together where everyone cooks something but sometimes just cat and magnus in magnus' loft and magnus makes her something, including some recipes she's taught him, and he absolutely makes extra and he's not even subtle about it because when is he ever ("*presenting cat a industrial-sized pan filled with food* oh, guess i miscalculated how much we'd eat" "really, magnus?" "yes") and makes her take the leftovers and she's just grinning at him the whole time and gives him a little kiss on the cheek for his troubles. then they sit down and drink wine and gossip and have fun until the tension has left both of their shoulders and they feel recharged. and cat might sleep there or might go back home the same day but either way when they have to part they trade "take care"s and catarina has this huge smile on her face as she takes thousands of conteiners filled with food, and magnus has that soft smile that he gives her, and aa <3