#i am just tired and overworked

[prince-liest]

Sat down to write a bit today and really wanted to work on Once Bitten, Back For More, but my brain genuinely couldn't pull it together enough for that fic because it actually has plot stuff happening I'm the background and I'm genuinely just too mentally tired for all of the "keeping everything in mind" required to write it on my day off. But I did manage a few hundred words for the omegaverse fic! At this point that is a victory, haaaaa.

[createandconstruct]

Thinking about Peter's absolute cry of anguish after the final boss battle when he finds Harry unresponsive. Thinking about how all he can say is I'm sorry. Thinking about the fact that in Peter's head it was him at May's side sobbing I'm sorry. Thinking about how "with great power comes great responsibility" can never be separated from the guilt Peter feels. Thinking about how that guilt extends to May. How it extends to Ben. How it cripples Peter so much that he tells Miles that he can't do this again. Thinking about Peter's voice as he'd begged Harry to fight - pleaded with him to not make him do this. Thinking about how when consumed with the symbiote Peter had screeched out I'm the hero, I don't get saved! Thinking about how that's not just pride, how that's not just responsibility, how it's guilt. How it's always been Peter and the weight of the world, the life of his loved ones, and their blood on his hands. And now it's Harry's and Peter just breaks. Always the hero, he's done the right thing, but this time it's the last straw. His best friend. The last sacrifice Peter Parker can take...

...and it's then... that Miles saves him.

[soysaurus]

There's a trait that runs through every hero, regardless of if they've spent the last couple months in prison, rehab, or wrangling pyjamas onto a stubborn five-year-old: they're a workaholic.

Thank god Jason is not a hero. Roy, on the other hand, definitely is. He might be ‘inactive’ or ‘I’m just focusing on Lian right now, thanks’, but Jason has dropped by Roy's shitty apartment in Star often enough that he can confidently say Roy, no matter what, is a hero.

So he kicks him.

“Ow! What the fuck, Jaybird?” Roy glares as he brings his fingers to his lips, slurping up the bright orange liquid that’s currently coating half his sleeve.

More keeps dripping onto the floor in radioactive bursts, and the bowl is steaming. It has a chip in the side from when Jason was teaching Lian how to shoot, and Jason knows what the ceramic feels like when steam is escaping from every orifice. He had to use his Red Hood gloves to hold the damn thing last time. He had to do a lot of things, but Roy's fingers don't shake as he holds the bowl in one hand.

He kicks Jason lightly back. “You're a fucking asshole, Todd, ya know that?”

Jason's head is a slow buzz. It's a sound that he can feel spit behind his eyes, sing with sharp vowels and harsh chords. It's something that's attacking him from the inside-out, digging deep until he can feel the green of the pit flare in his throat.

“Fuck ‘ff,” he murmurs, turning his head to look anywhere but Roy. “Don't need your shit-ass soup. Don't need anythin’.”

He moves to stand, to sit, to do anything but be useless on the sofa.

Roy only needs one hand to hold Jason down, and Jason tells himself it's just this once. It's because Roy is a hero and Jason is anything but.

“Dude, you're, like, what? Two seconds from passing out my couch? Eat the damn soup.”

Jason doesn't look as the bowl is shoved in front of him. More sloshes over the sides, lapping at Roy's thumb. He needs to get his mind out of the gutter. He needs to remember why he came here in the first place.

Roy groans, deep and guttural with his head thrown back and all the muscles in his neck straining. Sometimes Jason wants to curl his fingers around the thick flesh, cord his soul into the pieces of Roy he can never get back, and take him. For real this time.

He looks at the damned fucking soup.

It's tomato or carrot, or maybe even something that has never been orange in the first place. Jason can feel the steam hitting his nose hairs but he can't smell anything. “Needs more seasoning,” he spits.

Roy sighs. The soup nips his fingers again as he plops down onto the sofa. Their thighs touch, brush, hold on tight enough to blur the lines.

“You're sick,” Roy says. He holds up a spoon. It's caked in red. “Here comes the aeroplane…”

Jason wants to punch him, and it's fine because even though Jason rescued Roy first, Jason was also the first who left. He was the first who walked away and didn't return. He was the first one who died, and then died again.

It's stupid. Roy likes to say he died too, but Jason doesn't like thinking about explosions. He can't think about anything right now anyway. His brain hurts. The words in his head buzz. A hot tip touches his lips but it's not the right kind.

“Open wide.” Roy's using his Dad voice, and it's horrifying. Jason can feel his heart in his lungs and sometimes he forgets Roy has green eyes too.

They're earthier. Grounded. They're nothing like the look Jason stares at Roy with when Lian's gone to bed and the bowl's still chipped and the dishes haven't been scrubbed but everyone is too tired to touch it.

Roy sighs. The spoon clatters into the bowl, and he sucks the soup from his thumb again. “Jay, you gotta work with me here. You're sick. Being a stubborn asshole isn't gonna change that. What're you even doing here, man? Thought you were tired.”

Jason has never said he's tired before. At least not to Roy. The voice in his head that glows green and grins acid is different. He thinks he loves the voice and also hates it. He doesn't know if it's himself or someone else.

“Shut up, Harper.” He sniffs without meaning to and promptly closes his mouth.

Roy's lips break into that sly grin that means he's going home with at least a couple numbers and a body or two hanging from his elbows. “Only if you eat the damn soup. Otherwise I'll keep going, baby. I can keep this up all night long.” He winks as if Jason doesn't know him. “You know I've got the stamina to prove it.”

Jason rolls his eyes. Kind of. It hurts and the world spins, and then Roy's whispering meaningless words into his ear. He thinks his eyes are open but then he blinks and sees the ceiling. He does a double take but his body doesn't move. The air swirls. Something pinches his hips, then his legs, and then Jason is in Roy's room and the sheets smell like his body wash.

There's another smell, something heady and unmistakably Roy. Jason's not in love because he's never been in love. He doesn't know what it looks like.

He smells soup.

A ceramic bowl clatters gently, and a duvet is tugged up to Jason's chin. The bed dips next to Jason's waist and Roy's hair is long. It isn't tied back, but it was before. With the lamp light, his eyelashes look brighter. Almost like they're glowing.

Jason's not in love because Roy could never love him. He's just not the type. He's someone who dedicates his life to one person and one person only, and Jason is nowhere near a hero.

The tip of the spoon touches his bottom lip. It's cooler.

“Open wide.”

Maybe it's because it's half-one in the morning or Jason's running a fever higher than he ever has before, or because he's only twenty-one and yet he has over half of Gotham's underground under his control. His chest clenches. Tim said Jason's going to end up with heart attacks if he keeps this going, and then Jason yelled about all the empty Red Bull cans littering Tim's floor.

Jason's only twenty-one but he's never been in love. He was, maybe, once when he was fifteen. But that was before the voice in his head was impossibly loud. He doesn't remember who it was, and they're probably gone.

He opens his mouth. Roy grins, sly and dirty. His Dad voice slips out: “Good boy.”

Jason's going to kill him. He doesn't remember why he came to Star City tonight. He doesn't remember a lot of things.

His chest tightens even more as he swallows, and maybe Tim is right. Maybe heart attacks are going to be what finally takes Jason out.

[qiekzart]

day 46 drawing len until my preorder arrives

i sincerely apologize for the bad art but i am. very sick. and tired. and injured :[ i would have done better for u guys but i physically cant ..

requests open! ☆ 3 in inbox ^_^

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

uh, ladies? i don't feel ready to turn 27

[linksmoker]

we NEED more films made in the 70s. for carpet. where are the wood panelled walls

[tony-andonuts]

God I wish I didnt get ostrasised by all but like 4 of my peers because holyfucking shit am I overworked and need a hug

[etherealising]

sweetheart. this isn’t gonna be the nicest message and I do not intend for this to come off as being a hater; but as a fellow author, I felt this obligation to voice what I’ve seen that might be considered “cringe”.

i was highly, highly, HIGHLY invested in your Carmy Berzatto “all i ever knew, only you” series, but frustratingly lost complete interest by your erratic postings and timeline. like having “interludes” instead of just chapters? it’s outstandingly confusing. if you want to write a flashback, just do it with confidence, but your organization of your fic is frustrating to read. you’re not a terrible writer, on the contrary - I think you’re very good. like VERY good.

however, you lose yourself in an avalanche of details. you try W A Y too hard to foreshadow and allude to certain details, but you just confuse yourself and end up “putting your foot in your mouth”.

author to author, it helps TEN FOLD to pause and reread; to reedit. fuck a publishing timeline, fuck the followers that pressure you into posting, just make sure your story makes sense in a chronological order - cause the story’s whiplash was a turn off.

and I know, I know, what’s one reader to a plethora of others? i just felt the obligation to say that while it has the potential to be a GREAT story (that you keep incredibly expanding and deepening), it is wildly confusing in terms of your “timeline”.

my best wishes, support, and eagerness to see what else you might publish! and my apologies if I came off too harsh or rude - I’d simply love to see fellow authors expand on their craft!

not angry just dejected, take this response how you want i do not care : )

please do not refer to me as sweetheart. no matter how many times you explain that this isn’t a bash or negative feedback, calling me ‘sweetheart’ implies that you’re being condescending : )

first off [aiekoy] was not supposed to be a full fledged chaptered fic, so please writing gods forgive me for the utmost heinous act of writing and figuring things out as i go.

i can understand your “critique”, but you failed to explain how duel timeline in a story is “cringe” … i’m confused??

i’m sure you’ve read a mainstream book with the duel timeline trope, that’s exactly what this is. you’re implication that i’m cringy and not confident is such a fuck you to me because regardless of your intentions with this message it’s not coming across the way you intended.

my interludes are not a “confidence” thing, if I didn’t have confidence this fic wouldn’t have seen the light of day : )

imagine telling someone writing FOR FREE that their idea is “cringy” and a “confidence” issue??? i’m sure you can understand why i might come across a bit annoyed : )

i don’t try way too hard to fucking do anything, i just WRITE. i would honestly love to see where i “put my foot in my mouth” because i genuinely don’t see it. and that’s fine because it’s my writing and i’m constantly going over this shit ALONE so of course i’m not gonna catch every little detail that make people tick.

i am not getting paid to write this story. i am not getting paid to edit this story. i am writing this story because i had an idea and felt like sharing it because why fucking not. fan fiction does not and will not always be the best piece of literature/fiction you have ever interacted with and thats okay.

if you have fuck all time to edit, re-edit, draft, re-draft, and have a beta editor then i applaud you. but i have responsibilities outside of fanfiction so if something isn’t up to YOUR standards it’s not MY highest priority.

you also say “fuck a publishing timeline, fuck the followers that pressure you into posting,” but in the same breath explain that YOU quit reading because of my “erratic postings” and timeline. maybe i’m just not understanding it but it comes across a bit contradictory.

please understand that if my timeline is confusing, it’s because the bear’s canon timeline is confusing and contradictory as fuck. i’m literally doing somebody else’s job by trying to make this timeline make fucking sense.

don’t know who bestowed upon you this “obligation” you speak of but it was not i sis : )

to whoever this anon is i hope you can understand my defensiveness as i DID NOT ASK for this critique and obviously i’m going to be defensive this is MY work. and please if my response rubs you the wrong way please do not chime back into my inbox yapping off at the mouth that i’m a “bitch who can’t take critiques”

because i actually can but your critiques are UNSOLICITED for one and it just came across extremely pretentious (at least it read that way to me).

i probably would’ve had a much better reaction to your “help” if you had given me examples and explained a bit better your point of view, but you didn’t so i don’t, sucks to suck : (

have a great rest of your day, hope your journey as a writer continues going swell : )

[cilantroodon]

idk why everyone worries about the IRS hunting them down when these stupid motherfuckers take several days to respond to anything. hello?? I'm trying to give you my money? the thing you want?

[littlefoxwithbighat]

Truly having A Week TM. Everybody please send good vibes and energy <33

[fiddlepickdouglas]

If there were such a thing as dried salt that comes from tears, that's what my chest is full of right now

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

being sick as an adult sucks. wdym my mom won’t just automatically make sure I eat food instead of exclusively drinking Gatorade all day. wdym I have to ask my roommates to make me dinner. I have to Venmo a friend money to buy me more Gatorade?? I can’t focus enough to do homework??? I hate this.

[mothsakura]

gahh cannot draw anything too tired and sleepy and puppet battery is very low and my network is having some bugs and my processing has been a little slower than usual the maintenance team is taking a while to come to me and my structural systems have started to overheat due to me forgetting to intake the ground water with my water-collecting pipes

[averagelonelypotato]

lmao i’m so tired of this camp job before it even started like WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING?????

- they haven’t sent out the welcome email for everyone they hired

-they haven’t sent me the list of specific stuff to do and not do for the position they gave me??

-they aren’t even giving info to the people they hired, and people are asking me about it like ????

-if i was getting paid to answer their questions, i would not be complaining 

-like there’s no “hi, how are you? or how’s your break been? or hey did you finish all your exams??”  nope :(. just straight up “question, answer it”

-like ik i sound bitchy rn (i am just fed up) cause listen i saw a message on whatsapp from someone I had a class with. they just messaged me a question about the job, i choose not to answer it cause it’s not on my priority list? Plus you can email the people who are getting paid and are doing stuff for the job and they’ll give you more info, cause I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING????

-a few hours later this person sends me” ???? “regarding the question, cause I haven’t answered it ??? (like damn, it’s not like I have other things to do????) 

-THEN LIKE A FEW MINUTES AGO THEY SENT ME A MESSAGE TO MY ACTUAL NUMBER ASKING THE SAME QUESTION???

LIKE HELLO?????????????

you can’t fucking wait like the world doesn’t revolve around you yk :/

[caffeinatedopossum]

I really look as tired as I feel right now

[foolsonthehills]

i feel extremely isolated and stuck and i dont think my emotional wellbeing matters to anyone and im like. at a deadend to what do i do exactly