#and my flatmates are nice people but my god they are not clean and everything in the house is a mess and i have to move out in a month and

[littlefoxwithbighat]

Truly having A Week TM. Everybody please send good vibes and energy <33

[icallhimjoey]

Listen, part 3 was gorgeous but I don't trust you one bit, I swear to God if you murder another person I'm not going to be the one responsible for my actions

oh, something's dying. enjoy! Wordcount: 3.4K

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A Lot Like Love

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

You tippy-toed your way down Joe’s hallway to the bathroom for your obligatory after-sex tinkle. Your legs were still wobbly and finding the light switch in the dark was a task in and of itself. It didn’t help that you were scared you’d run into Joe’s flatmate who you heard come in when you were tangled up into each other in Joe’s bed. You also didn’t want to leave said bed, but you’d been hormone-tricked into staying in bed for cuddles more than once before, and pesty bladder infections always managed to find you fast. 

Joe had really surprised you that night. He had made you wrap your legs around his hips and had lifted you up in a hug to walk you to his bedroom. The whole ordeal had been so gentle and sweet, his hands intertwined with yours for most of it. And he had kept checking in, to make sure you were all right, if this was what you wanted, if he could touch you, and he’d said to tell him to stop if you changed your mind. It was unlike anything you’d ever experienced before, and it had been dizzying and stupefying and so very, very tender. You had to wrestle and pry yourself free from his grip afterwards.

It was nearly midnight, and you were unsure if you would actually stay the night. You wanted to. But wouldn’t it be weird? In the morning you’d have to get ready and commute. Go to work from this place. That wasn’t something that people who were whatever you and Joe were to each other did, you didn’t think. You also really didn’t like Joe’s bedroom. It was all white walls, white furniture, grey bedding – all sterile, zero good vibes. But it did have Joe in. Inside a bed. And Joe had nice arms you kind of wanted to be wrapped up in. So, it was still undecided. You peed and checked to see what you looked like in the mirror after. I could be seen in public, you then thought. And there was still time to make it home and get a good night’s sleep in your own bed. 

In bed, after putting on a clean pair of boxer-briefs, Joe checked his phone when you’d momentarily left him. He had received a message from his flatmate. Weird, because they were both home. Joe had opened it and panicked immediately. His eyes were met with a photograph. Of the two of you. In the window of your bookstore. Kissing.

Joe then saw your phone light up as it laid on his bedside table, and he noticed the amount of notifications you’d already mustered up from several people. Then you received a call, and Joe thanked whichever spiritual entity he could bring to mind that your phone was set to silent. 

This was exactly everything Joe hadn’t wanted. Not for him, but especially not for you. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world, Joe understood, but this held potential to absolutely change everything, and he could feel it in his gut. Joe knew he had to handle this right before it scared you off completely, so he had to think fast. There was no way he could delay telling you. But he could turn your phone over screen down and ease you into this ice bath himself, instead of you unwillingly being shoved into it by whoever had taken and shared the photo.

“Hey, umm, I think I might…” you started talking before you stepped back into Joe’s bedroom, but the look of him stopped you from finishing your sentence. Joe looked concerned. Like something was wrong. 

“Are you all right?”

“Come, sit.” He patted the mattress next to him as he sat up against the headboard. A strange request from someone you’d just slept with. You were used to men accepting half a hug before turning over and going to sleep. But Joe wanted to talk? Now?!

“Did I do something wrong? Was that not as good for you as it was for me?” You joked halfheartedly in hopes of breaking the tension you felt thick in the air with a little humour. 

“I’ve got to talk to you.” Not a single muscle in his face moved at your attempt to make him smile. 

You carefully sat down on the bed, facing Joe, crossing your legs in front of you, unsure about what was to come. You felt anxiety hitch up in your throat.

“So,” Joe shifted and sat up more, and he squeezed his eyes shut for a second. He was going to have to talk about this, whether he wanted to with you, or not. 

“I’m Joe.”

Huh? You scanned his body to see if you were missing something. Were you hearing this right? Did orgasming do something funny to his brain? 

“Nice to meet you?” you answered when Joe didn’t explain himself any further. He didn’t acknowledge your comment.

“I like going to bed really late and sleeping in the next morning. I like cooking. And reading. ” Joe got more frantic as he went, making you narrow your eyes at him. 

“I really like it when you walk past someone, and they smell really nice. And my favourite day of the year is the first day- it’s usually in March, the first day that it suddenly looks and feels like summer and London just feels so different. Optimistic and I don’t know, in love almost. And I love martinis but can’t for the life of me mix myself a good one, I don’t know how I keep getting it wrong.”  

You would’ve been all smiles if Joe’s eyes hadn’t looked so sad. 

“But I’m also Joe.” Joe mimicked your earlier hand motions, name written in lights in the sky. “You have to understand that I am not Joe. I am Joe.” It was stupid how what he was saying made sense to you. It was the double life your friend had pointed out to you. 

“Who did I just have sex with?” 

“Joe.” 

You pretended to be disappointed you hadn’t slept with a celebrity, pouting and slumping your shoulders, which finally cracked him, and he gave you a small smile. 

“Do you think Joe,” you did the hands again, “would be better in bed than you?” You were having too much fun with this. But Joe felt the gravity when his eyes landed to your phone on his bedside table. He didn’t have time for jokes.

“Listen. Joe is a great guy. He’s got a sick job that comes with cool perks and he’s not in any position to complain. But he gets his photo taken in the street when he’s not in disguise. Even then, sometimes people know it’s me and I get sent a photo of myself on the tube that someone took of me.” The switch from Joe speaking of himself in the third person to first person linked the two Joe’s up in your mind. Obviously, there was only one Joe, but the juxtaposition was made perfectly clear to you. 

“Sometimes that means that if I’m out with someone, they also get their photo taken.” Joe was carefully scanning your face, awaiting your reaction.

“Did someone sneak a pic of us on the train?” You pouted at how caring Joe seemed of you in this moment. You wouldn’t care about a picture of yourself on the tube. You had only stood next to each other and had held onto different poles and handles to balance yourselves in the moving carriages. You’d been very aware that you were out in public with Joe then. You weren’t an idiot, and you were about to tell Joe that he was the cutest for thinking that you were.

“No.”

Oh. Well then, what was this about? 

“Someone did take a photo… and I think it’s spreading fast, because I’ve just been sent it, but I think you’ve received it also.” Joe looked at your phone, and you followed his gaze before reaching to grab it. 

“Wait.” Joe stuck an arm out to stop you. “I need you to understand that this,” Joe raised his own phone and gestured at yours. “This is what this,” he then waved a finger in between the two of you, “might be like.” 

You wanted to see the picture. 

Logically Joe knew it shouldn’t be a huge deal. This wasn’t going to change everything. But it would change enough. People were smart, they could easily figure out the location of the store just from the look of the front. It could mean that the anonymity he’d had in there for so long would cease to be, and he’d no longer be able to sit in that window to read anymore. Not like he had been before. Joe had never been recognized in there. It’s what ultimately turned your bookstore into his comfort place, you know, besides the fact that you were the person running it. 

The photo was grainy, obviously zoomed from a distance, from across the street somewhere, enough to the side that they only got the back of you, so you were more difficult to recognize. This one, privacy-invading, quick snapshot could be the death of Joe’s routine. And he hated it. Because what even were the two of you if not your routine together?

Joe eventually pulled his arm back and let you grab your phone. 

“Shit,” you said when you saw the notifications. Your best friend had called you twice and had left one voicemail message. When you opened your messages to find the photo, your jaw dropped.

“What the…”

“I’m sorry.” Joe didn’t know what else to say. He grabbed one of your feet in his hands, just to hold it for comfort. 

“Who the fuck took this?” You asked him like he’d know. Joe shrugged. People took pictures. Everyone had phones.

You could feel anger build in your chest, but it wasn’t totally the worst thing. Right? You shouldn’t overreact. But the people that you hadn’t spoken to in forever that were now messaging you with countless “is this you?” messages added to the photo was a little nauseating. 

Then you decided to listen to the voicemail you’d been left by your best friend.

“Bitch! Pick the fuck up! Guess what my sister just plucked from TikTok?! My God, have you seen the photo? It’s a hot photo, Jesus Christ, his hand? On your ass? In the fucking storefront, are you joking?! I suggested so many other good places and you choose-” 

You were quick to hang up. It hadn’t been on speaker, but your friend was loud, and Joe didn’t need to hear that.

You took a deep breath.

“Now what?” 

“I mean, there’s nothing to do about it really,” Joe could kick himself for letting this happen. You grimaced. “Eugh, I don’t like this lack of control.” You took another look at the image. Your friend was right. It was a very sexy shot, but that kind of made it worse, a little. 

“I guess it was inevitable, right?” You think back to how you let Joe have a full-fledged photoshoot in the store. The images hadn’t been printed yet, but when they would, then the store would be out there too. It wouldn’t have you grinding on Joe’s lap in the photos, but wouldn’t it ultimately lead towards the same? 

“I think I want to go home.” 

"Yea, of course." Joe didn't take it as a rejection because it wasn't one. He got up and picked up his discarded pair of jeans from the floor and started getting dressed. When you gave him a puzzled look, he said, "Let me at least make sure you make it there safely."

"I've taken night buses before, I'll be fine." you tried to stop him, but you couldn't help think it was endearing. Joe put on his shirt. "I'll walk you to the bus stop." he lied, fully intending to drop you off at your doorstep. 

And so, you'd gotten dressed, smoothed your hair out and both headed out the door quietly as to not wake up Joe's flat mate. On your way to the bus stop you had refused to hold Joe's hand after he'd offered it to you, instead crossing your arms over your chest as you braced the cold dark of night. It's not that you didn't want to hold his hand, it's that you were now too aware of possible ramifications of it all. Joe had in turn stopped a taxi and had climbed in with you, and you had wanted to tell him that he didn't have to do that, that taking the bus really was fine, but when you were both sat in the backseat, Joe had reached for your hand to hold and you realized that this was something Joe needed and not necessarily something he was doing for you.  

It was just a picture. But everything felt different now. It was a big deal, and it also wasn't.  

You half expected Joe to stay in the taxi as it pulled up outside the bookstore, ready to make the trip back to his apartment, but he paid the driver and followed you when you stepped out.  

You took a second to look at the spot from where you thought the picture of the two of you had to have been taken. When the taxi drove off, your gaze found Joe as you reached into your pocket for your keys.  

"Don't you have work tomorrow?" You didn't have to ask if Joe wanted to come inside and stay the night. You'd gathered by now that was what would be happening.  

"I can be tired for a table read; it'll be fine."  

You unlocked the door with Joe's body behind you, shielding you from the cold autumn winds that littered the street. Stepping into the dark bookstore, its silence felt deafening.  

"Come," Joe said after you locked the door back up, and he led you to the armchairs in the window. The windows now almost felt dangerous to you. You were tired and not in the mood for a chat, but you sat down, and Joe did too. And then you looked at each other, and you relaxed into your seat. 

"I like you better in here," you said. It made Joe smile. "I like me better in here too."  

"What do you think it is?" you wondered. You had an answer ready but were curious about Joe's thoughts.  

"It's got to be the books, hasn't it?" Joe lied. He knew it was because he got to be just Joe in your store. And you knew it was because Joe felt like a part of it now, an irreplaceable piece that belonged there.  

"I'm tired," you said through a yawn, announcing that you wanted to go to bed, and you slow-blinked at Joe. "Come here," Joe extended an arm that you accepted, and he pulled you onto his lap. Your legs dangled over the side, your head found Joe's shoulder and you cuddled up together comfortably the way Joe had wanted to do an hour ago when you'd been in his bed. "Let's just sit." And Joe was warm, and his embrace felt safe, so you closed your eyes for a second. Several seconds. "Our backs will be in shambles if we sleep here." you warned, already drifting off. "We'll be fine." Joe cooed, letting you know he wanted to stay right where he was.  

You woke up a couple of hours later, aching from having been sat in the same position for too long. Joe was fast asleep, and you were sure he was actively hurting his neck the way his head was slumped to the side. But he looked so peaceful. Almost too peaceful to wake him up to drag him up the stairs and into bed with you. You used a finger to touch his face, tracing the lines of it which slowly tickled him awake. 

"You're so pretty," you whispered sincerely when you saw Joe's eyelids start to flutter, and you hoped he was awake enough to remember your words because you thought them a lot, but had not properly told Joe before and you wanted him to know. 

"I love you," Joe whispered back with his eyes still closed, and your eyes widened at the shock of his confession. 

"No, you don't." you were quick to argue, your voice still a whisper. Surely Joe was still dreaming, drunk on sleep, mind still hazy and he'd mistaken the warmth he felt radiate from you for something it wasn't. That's what you had to chalk it up to. You love the store, you thought. You love spending time with me. But then Joe's arms tightened around you, and he said, "Okay. Then I don't." 

Unbeknownst to you, it was precisely this exact spot within the vulnerability of sleep that had forced the truth out of his mouth. Because what if you didn't have tomorrow? He needed you to at least know it, to have said it aloud, for you to maybe accept later. Joe understood that they were words you weren't ready to hear from him. Not yet. After all, you didn't even really know each other... right?  

“He’s not in here.” You heard Anne scowl to someone in the front from your spot in the breakroom. It made you wince, because she shouldn’t be scaring off any potential customers, but you totally understood where she was coming from. 

It had started with girls looking into your windows, loitering outside the store. Not many. Enough for it to be weird. And then two brave ones had come in and pretended to be looking for books to buy, but very clearly took pictures of each other with you in the background of them and it had made you escape into the breakroom to avoid them. Anne had been quick to take over, and she wasn’t one to hold back. 

“Bye!” Anne said it so loudly and sarcastically, she was practically bullying people out the door.

When Anne had walked in that morning, you told her that people had recognized Joe in the store. You didn’t want to show her the image and you thought that maybe she wouldn’t have seen it. She hadn’t, but she had pulled out her phone to look it up immediately. 

“Gross,” she’d muttered to herself, much softer than she normally would display her disgust at you, and then had shown you two hardened eyes. “I’ll fight anyone who comes in here to take a selfie with him.” 

It was the sweetest thing Anne had ever said to you. 

You felt a little pathetic, but the iniquity felt huge because weren’t you supposed to be sort of on cloud nine right now? All floaty and giddy? All excited and wanting time to pass quickly until you'd see Joe again? 

You weren’t any of those things, and the fact that you very much didn’t want Joe to be in the store today, and were glad that he wasn’t, pained you in your chest. 

“They’ve gone.” Anne called out to you, and you made your way back into the front. 

“Thanks. Maybe a little less on the nose the next time.” You grinned at Anne who shrugged. “This is a bookstore. You come in here to buy books, or you stay out.” 

You agreed. 

Anne said that they’d learn eventually that they weren’t appreciated here. You felt bad; people could still buy books if they wanted to. You felt dumb because there was no way you would be able to know just from looking at someone if they’d be there for books, or to catch a glimpse of Joe. Would it matter? If they were paying customers, didn’t they have every right to be in there? To ask you questions and use your expertise? Were you not absolutely blowing this out of proportion and making yourself miserable in the process? Perhaps you were.

And he wasn’t even Joe when he was in here, you thought to yourself. 

“He’s not in here.” Anne deadpanned when the door opened and a girl in her late teens walked in. 

“Pardon?” she looked behind her to see if Anne had been talking to someone else, confused when she found that Anne was staring directly at her. You shot Anne a look before splaying your kindest customer-service smile onto your face. 

“Hi, come on in, can I help you with anything?�� 

— part five read Like A Poem here —

The Taglisted: @kiwisa @jasminearondottir @josephquinned @cancankiki @sidthedollface2 @dylanmunson @munsonsgirl71 @alana4610 @emmamooney @xomunson @sadbitchfangirl @jssmth5 @bagelofthelord67 @nobody-000 @lluviamg06 @thatonefan-girl - add yourself  

[watchmegetobsessed]

Flatmates - Harry Styles

i listened to kiwi while writing it so i strongly advise to listen to is while reading as well. without any further ado, i present you this flatmate!harry fic with some steamy smut!

word count: ~9k

warning: smut

masterlist

You were desperate to find a place to live, to say the least. You’ve always had trouble remembering deadlines and important dates, and thanks to this charming trait of yours, you successfully missed the deadline of the college dormitory applications. After a day of solid panic you started looking for cheap apartments, but living off campus seemed to be something only rich people could afford. Rents were ridiculously high and you were certain you couldn’t afford to spend thousands of dollars for a room smaller than your pantry back at home. You watched ad after ad, making calls all day for a week straight, but at the end, you always went to bed with the thought that you’ll have to live under a bridge through the first semester of your freshman year.

It was until a friend of yours, Rita, who was mature enough to apply to the dormitory in time called you with the best news you could receive.

“This friend of my future roomie is looking for a flat mate. You gave me his number, maybe you could give him a call and see if the room is still available. Just tell him Kimberly gave you his number, I’m sure he’ll offer you the room on a nicer price.”

“Oh my God, you just saved my life!” you gasped, almost feeling like crying. “I owe you big time, Rita!”

You called right away, not wanting to waste any time and maybe have the room already rented by then. A deep, male voice answered the call in a soothing British accent.

“Harry Styles,” he said in a calm tone.

“Hey! My name is Y/N and I got your number from Kimberly. I’m looking for a place to live from September and I was told you have a room to rent?”

Harry sounded a little hesitant at first, asked a few questions about you to have a better picture of you, but eventually offered the room. You quickly agreed that you’d be able to move in at the end of August. You were thankful you had one less worry about school finally.

August rolled around the corner faster than you expected and in no time, half your life was packed up into boxes and suitcases as you and your dad drove two hours on a Saturday to get you all settled in your new home. Up until this point, you hadn’t seen Harry just yet. Though you did search up his name, but he was the kind to never post about himself, but mostly about guitars, landscapes and animals. His Instagram was dry, no trait of what he looked like or even the slightest hint about himself. There was only one photo that featured the outline of a guy, which makes it clear that the person was fully naked, no trace of any clothes hanging on his body, but it was completely dark, so nothing could be really seen. However the tag on the figure made you think it wasn’t him, so it didn’t matter. His Facebook seemed even sadder, barely any posts, not even a decent profile picture. You were surprised to see there are people who don’t really use social media, but you didn’t take it as a bad sign. Harry must be a private person and you had nothing against that.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to move in with a guy you’ve never met before?” your dad asks as the two of you are unloading the car in front of the apartment complex. Glancing up you shrug your shoulders with a little excitement, knowing that you are only minutes away from finally seeing the person you are gonna spend your next months living with.

“He sounded like a decent person, and I really don’t have any other choice, dad. Or do you want me to sleep in a park or something?”

“God, no. You really should be more careful about those deadlines next time,” he sighs kissing the top of your head before shutting the back of the car once everything is set on the ground.

“Don’t worry, I already bought a calendar so I can keep better track of everything.”

When you first told your parents that you’d be living with Harry, they didn’t seem to be a fan of the idea, but they realized you weren’t really swimming in options at the moment so they eventually come to peace that their daughter is going to be living with a guy. They didn’t make a big deal out of it, knowing well you were an adult now practically who can make choices for herself.

The two of you manage to bring everything up to the third floor and you ring the doorbell since you don’t have your keys yet. You immediately recognize Harry’s British accent as he calls out a “coming!” from the other side of the door and a few seconds later it opens, revealing him.

Your first thought is that he is tall. Very tall and oh my! How handsome! His green eyes find your gaze and his dimples come out as he smiles at you happily. This man is surely a nice sight, you think to yourself, but you quickly bring yourself back to reality as he takes a look at all the stuff surrounding you.

“Y/N, why didn’t you call me that you were here? I could have helped you!” Taking a step outside he stretches his hand out for your dad. “Nice to meet ya, you must be Mr. Y/L/N. I’m Harry.”

“Nice to meet you,” your dad nods at him shaking his head before Harry grabs a box from the floor himself, holding the door open for you.

“Come on in!”

The three of you quickly bring everything inside from the hallway and you finally have a moment to look around. It’s not a big apartment, but seemingly perfect for two people. Walking in you have a small kitchen on the left and a little dining area on the right with a simple table and four chairs around it. Further inside is the living room, it’s nicely furnished very bright thanks to the large windows across the front door. On the left there’s a door that leads to the bathroom and on the right there’s a small hallway, two doors on each side. The two rooms are exactly the same size, so there was no need to have a discussion about who is getting which room. Not that you were gonna go against Harry when he literally saved your life with letting you stay with him.

The place seems tidy and neat, it’s clear that Harry takes good care of his home and that is for sure a relief.

Your room has a double bed, a desk with a chair, a dresser and a built in little closet. Everything is white or a light beige color, nothing extreme and you already have plans about how you want to decorate it to make it cozier.

“I left two shelves free for you out of the three. I have a few hair products, but I figured you’d need more space,” Harry tells you when you put a smaller box into the bathroom that has all your toiletries.

“Thank you, I appreciate it,” you smile at him.

Your dad sticks around a little longer helping you unpack some of the bigger boxes, then you walk him down to his car before he leaves.

“Please call your mother often. You know how much she worries about you,” he asks as he pulls you into a quick hug.

“Will do.”

“And call us anytime you need help. Two hours is not that far away, I can always come and get you.”

“I’ll be alright, dad, but thank you.”

You watch him climb into the car and he rolls down the windows waving in your way as he leaves from the parking lot. You stand there until he disappears on the corner and then go back up to your apartment.

Harry is sitting in the living room when you get back, some quiet music playing from the Bluetooth speaker as he reads a book. He glances up at you and you flash him a smile closing the door behind you.

“Your dad seemed quite okay with you living with a guy.”

“He had time to get used to it. They’re not that strict though.”

“That’s cool. I was thinking, maybe we could order some food when you’re done unpacking and just get to know each other a little more.”

“That sounds great!” you smile, but can’t ignore how fast your heart is beating in your chest. Harry surely has an effect on you that you’ll need to gain control over if you don’t want to make living together hard for yourself.

It takes quite some time to unpack everything and find the right place for your stuff, you don’t even finish by the time the food arrives so you decide to leave the rest for tomorrow.

The Chinese food is all set on the table when you walk out and Harry is getting two plates for the two of you.

“Settled in?” he asks as you take one of the chairs and he sits across you.

“Not fully, but I’m getting there,” you chuckle as he hands you your order. “Thank you.”

You talk over the food, just getting to know each other and you finally get a better picture of Harry. It’s his third year of college, he is studying music and pedagogy, intending to one day use music as a helping tool for kids who have learning difficulties. He is a big fan of collecting vinyls and quite passionate about trashy rom coms.

“Really?” you chuckle when he mentions how his Netflix queue is filled with romantic movies.

“Guilty pleasure,” he nods smirking.

You tell a little about yourself too and he seems genuinely interested, which feels nice. You would have hated if he found your interests boring and negligible, but that’s not the case.

“How come you couldn’t find a roommate for so long?” you ask the question that’s been in the back of your mind for quite a while now. Both of you are done eating and you’re cleaning up the table.

Nothing really stood out about Harry just yet, it’s quite a mystery for you why he couldn’t find someone to live with him.

“Well, you could say I’m a little picky in this field. Lived with my best mate first year, and though I absolutely love him, he was horrible to live with. Felt like his personal maid the whole time. When Niall moved in with his girlfriend and I had to move on my own I promised myself I would choose carefully. Lived with a PhD student last year, he was pretty great, but he moved out when he graduated, and I couldn’t really find someone I liked since then.”

“Glad I passed then,” you chuckle as you take the dishes and start washing them while Harry stands next to you, leaning against the edge of the counter.

“You seemed like a decent person to live with, I hope I won’t be wrong about that,” he chuckles, but you can tell he is still a little scared you might turn out to be a total asshole.

“Don’t worry, I won’t be too much trouble. I’m quiet like a mouse and clean up after myself.”

“That’s all that matters,” he smiles. “Alright, I have some things to finish, I’ll be in my room if you need help with anything.”

“Thank you, Harry.”

He waves in your way before disappearing in his bedroom.

You spend most of your Sunday unpacking what was left and running errands, buying groceries so you don’t have to go to the store every other day during the week. You occasionally meet Harry in the kitchen or the living room, but you both just do your own thing and it’s totally fine by you.

School starts quiet smoothly, Harry was kind enough to give you a rundown of where you’ll find your lecture halls so you don’t really get lost around campus, easily finding your way.

Friday afternoon you and Rita are sitting at a café near campus to discuss the first week of school. You don’t have any classes together, so only grabbed lunch two times all week, but didn’t have more than twenty minutes together before one of you had to run to a class. Now you are both comfortably sat in a booth with two cappuccinos and plenty of time to talk.

“So, how is living with Harry?” she curiously asks.

“He is great! Though we don’t meet that much. He has a band so he has practice three times a week, spends the rest of his time at home reading or watching TV.”

You ate dinner together twice this week, but you haven’t really had the courage to join him in the living room when he was watching TV. It sounds stupid but you figured maybe it would bother him if you were out there with him. And since he didn’t invite you either, you just stayed in your room mostly.

“Kimberly told me he is hot, is that true?” she asks with a smirk as she takes a sip from her hot drink. You immediately feel your cheeks heating up.

“Well, he surely is a good looking guy,” you breathe out.

“Lucky you! There’s not much of those in an all girls dorm,” she pouts and you chuckle. “So are you gonna make a move on him?”

“That’s not gonna happen,” you shake your head laughing.

“Why not?”

“Because we live together and if he rejects me that would be so awkward for the rest of our time living together.”

“But you can’t know for sure if he would reject,” she points out, but she can’t bring up one thing that would change your mind.

“It’s better not to take the odds. I don’t want to end up on the street.”

 As the days go by, things start to get busier in your everydays. Assignments and papers start to pile up so you have to start working on them if you don’t want to leave everything to the last moment. You become a regular in the library, the atmosphere is great for you to get into the flow and get a lot of work done.

It seems like Harry is in the same shoe, he is often in and out of the apartment, sometimes only spends home just a couple of minutes before he leaves again. However they slowly get accustomed to each other, learn the ways the other likes things and work up a schedule for things. Harry learns that Y/N likes to take a shower twice a day and washes her hair usually on Wednesdays and Sundays, so he doesn’t try to take too much time in the bathroom on those days. He also notices how she doesn’t have time to wash the dishes after herself on Thursdays when she just runs home to have a quick bite before she has to leave for another lecture, so they came to a silent agreement where Harry cleans up after her on Thursdays while she takes up on the dishes on Saturday when Harry leaves to band practice at eight.

They work well together and soon enough all of Harry’s doubts about Y/N fade into nothing and he realizes he has made the right choice with her.

Usually she stays at the library until seven on Mondays, but this week they are closing early because they are rearranging a whole department, so Y/N leaves a little after five. She pays a quick trip to the grocery store before she heads home. Opening up the door she immediately hears the music playing, one of Harry’s vinyls is twirling around in the record player and she hears the water running in the bathroom. Setting her bags on the counter she starts unpacking the groceries.

The music and the running water pushed the sound of her arriving down, Harry didn't realize that you were home early when he opens the bathroom door, singing to himself wearing absolutely nothing as he wants to go and grab a pair of clean underwear, but he is shocked to see you standing in the kitchen.

“Shit!” he snaps, hands immediately flying to cover himself as he sprints back to the bathroom quickly grabbing a towel to wrap around his waist.

Your cheeks are heating up immediately even though you didn’t see anything you weren’t supposed to, the counter top covered him just right above the critical line, but it’s the first time you’ve seen his upper body completely naked.

Even though it was just a spit second, the sight of his many tattoos and the defined V-line leading down to his crotch burned straight into your mind, leaving you flustered and shy all of a sudden.

“Sorry! I should have let you know I was coming home early!” you call out turning around, as if he was about to walk out naked again. Harry chuckles lightly as he returns, this time a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Don’t be silly, you don’t have to check in when you come home. It was my fault, I shouldn’t just walk around naked assuming you wouldn’t be home.”

You should, you think to yourself gulping as you turn around and dare to look at him again. You don’t see less than just a few seconds ago, his chest is glistening from the dampness, his curls are still wet and you are having a hard time not to stare at the tattoos on his lower stomach, so you busy yourself with the rest of your groceries as he walks into his room and returns in a pair of sweats and a white t-shirt.

“Any plans for the weekend?” he asks disappearing in the bathroom, but he leaves the door open and you hear him shuffle around, probably fixing up his hair. He uses some kind of mousse that keeps his curls perfectly and also happens to smell like mango and some kind of citrus.

“Um, not really.”

“We’re playing at this bar with the band, wanna come and watch us?” Walking out of the bathroom he switches the light off before walking to the couch and opening up his Netflix account on the TV. His invitation surprises you, but it also feels nice he wants you there.

“Oh, sounds fun! Can I bring someone?”

“Of course! I can have a table reserved for you, if you’d like,” he smiles at you before turning his attention to the screen.

“That would be great, thanks.”

You feel like after your little encounter it’s probably not the best day to join him at the TV, especially because you can’t stop yourself from blushing every time you look at him. The sight of his naked torso pops up in your mind every time and there’s no way you can just casually sit on the couch with him without your body lighting up on fire.

 Rita is excited when you tell her about the invitation, you don’t even have to convince her to go with you since she is dying to finally meet Harry. When he leaves in the early afternoon on Saturday he assures you that there’s gonna be a table reserved under your name, and off he goes to practice, leaving you alone for the rest of the day since he tells you he won’t be back before the concert tonight. Rita comes over around six and the two of you get ready together.

“You have to wear something spicy,” she wiggles her eyebrows at you while you sit at your desk applying mascara to your lashes.

“I don’t want to overdress, it’s just a bar.”

“Yeah, but Harry invited you. I bet he wants you to see him play.”

“Of course he wants, why else would he invite me?” you ask with furrowed eyebrows.

“You don’t get it,” she chuckles turning to you, hands on her hips. “He wants you to see him play because it feeds his ego. Maybe even turns him on.”

“Stop acting like there is anything between us. We are flatmates and that’s all.”

“I think he wants to be more, you’re just too pussy to make a move yourself,” she shrugs turning back to your closet.

“Stop calling me a pussy for not wanting to make it awkward for the two of us to live together. I’m pretty sure Harry doesn’t see me as anything more than just the person he lives with.”

“Then we have to change that. And I think this is the perfect dress for that.”

Rita pulls out a little black dress you bought about a year ago, but never really got around to wear it. It’s so tight, pushes your tits up way too much for your liking, you’re not even sure why you bought it in the first place.

“I’m not wearing that,” you shake your head.

“Are you afraid he might get a boner from you in it?”

“Rita!” you snap at her, but she just chuckles.

“Look, if you’re so sure he doesn’t want you like that, why does it matter what you wear?”

She has a point. It’s not like this dress will change anything and it would be nice to wear at least once in your life this stupid dress if you bought it.

Grabbing it from her hands you throw it to the bed and start undressing as she claps in victory.

You remembered right, the dress leaves close to nothing to the imagination when it comes to your figure. The fabric hugs your figure tightly, and you put on a lacy bralette that peeks out at the top of the dress, kind of covering some more from your skin, since the dress doesn’t do much in that field itself. Rita tries to convince you not to take a jacket, but you throw your denim jacket on, feeling the need to have something give you the slightest sense of being covered.

You arrive at the bar twenty minutes before the concert starts and it’s a good thing Harry reserved a table for you, because the place is packed. You’re not sure if it’s because of them or it’s just a regular Saturday evening.

The little stage is all set up, but you see no sign of Harry anywhere as the two of you settle at your table with a drink. Luckily, the bartender did not ask for an ID, he was too busy looking at your chest. At least there’s one good thing in this dress.

The drum set at the back has the name of the band on it and you smile reading it. The word ‘Stylish’ is printed on it with bold blue letters, referring to Harry’s last name, who is most likely the front man of the band.

The place is buzzing and the two of you enjoy being out at a bar concert. When the lights go down you finally spot him walking out of the back followed by a guy and two girls.

“Welcome, folks,” he greets the audience, his accent filling up the place over the chatters. A round of cheering answers him, making him smile. “Thank you for coming out tonight, we hope to entertain you in the next hour. Our name is Stylish and now let’s get down to business,” he smirks and just as he takes a step back from the mic, the band starts playing. Harry grabs a guitar himself before stepping back to the mic and then he starts singing.

They play a mixture of covers and original songs, the transition between them is so smooth you sometimes forget it’s a whole different song that’s playing. Harry is clearly enjoying the spotlight, his presence on the stage is so natural and capturing, you often catch yourself forgetting about the rest of the band.

One song follows the other and you don’t even realize how fast this hour passes by. Harry sometimes stops in-between songs, entertaining the audience with small jokes and just casually interacting with them.

“Our last song is up next, so let me take a moment to introduce the band,” Harry speaks into the mic while softly playing the guitar so it’s not completely quiet as he talks. “At the drums, the amazing and talented Sarah Jones!”

A round of applause fills the bar as Sara waves around smiling widely, before Harry moves on to the next member.

“Playing the piano, the wonderful Charlotte Clark!”

Charlotte plays a short melody on the keys matching up with what Harry has been playing, before she also waves at the audience.

“The guy who is a way better guitarist than me, Mitch Rowland.”

Harry’s comment makes the audience laugh and Mitch just nods shyly, a smile pulling on his lips under his mustache.

“And this handsome Brit who sometimes acts like a comedian,” Sarah starts leaning closer to her mic. “Harry Styles.”

It’s no surprise that Harry gets the biggest cheering and he smirks sweetly, his fingers still strumming on the guitar. The clapping and screaming slowly dies down and as Harry steps back to his mic they start the last song.

It’s quite an upbeat, funky song, you just can’t resist dancing around on your chair and seemingly Rita is enjoying herself as well, cheering with her beer in her hand. The song comes to an end and they all line up at the front of the stage bowing down together as the whole bar cheers on them as one person.

“Woah, this was… something else,” Rita breathes out once they disappear at the back and chatter fills up the place once again and the lights come back.

“They smashed it!” you nod in agreement. You figured they are good if they get asked to perform, but this was way beyond what you were expecting.

Looking around you are hoping to see Harry somewhere, but they must be celebrating somewhere at the back. Maybe he won’t even come out, you think to yourself as you finish up your beer.

“I’ll get us another round,” you tell Rita as you make your way to the bar.

There are quite a few people waiting to be served, so you squeeze yourself into the crowd and hope to get to the front soon.

“So how did you like it?”

You jump in surprise when you hear Harry’s voice coming from behind you, and turning around you see how close he is standing to you.

“Hi! I didn’t even see you sneak up on me,” you chuckle making him smile as he squeezes himself next to you. The two of you finally reach the front, but the bartender is serving someone a little on the left so you have to wait. “I loved it, you were like a proper rockstar up there!”

“Thanks,” he chuckles and his dimples show up on his cheeks. The bartender finally gets to you and Harry is quick to order for the both of you. “’S probably better if I place the order since you’re not twenty one just yet.”

“Didn’t have any problem ordering the first time,” you smirk smugly and Harry raises his eyebrows at you before his eyes wander down your body for a second.

“I bet you didn’t in this dress.”

Suddenly, you’re very aware of how daring your outfit looks, so out of reflex, you pull your jacket tighter on yourself, Harry’s smile quickly fades as he realizes that he made you uncomfortable with his comment.

“I meant that you look really pretty. Definitely makes you appear a little older though.”

“My friend wanted me to wear it, I would have been fine with something else,” you admit as the bartender places your order in front of you and Harry pays for the whole thing.

“Glad she convinced you,” he grins down at you and you can feel your cheeks heating up once again.

He helps you carry the drinks to the table and Rita quickly puts her phone away when she sees who you are returning with.

“Harry, this is my friend, Rita. Rita, this is Harry,” you introduce them and Harry shakes her head smiling.

“Nice to meet you,” he nods kindly.

“Oh, same goes for you,” Rita smirks and you roll your eyes at her.

“I’ll go get the rest of the band, do you mind if we join you guys here? There are no empty tables.”

“Sure,” you nod smiling before the crowd swallows Harry.

“For fuck’s sake, you have to make a move on him, Y/N!” Rita turns to you as soon as he is gone.

“Would you stop?” you chuckle.

“No! This dude is so hot I forget my name when I look at him! And you live with him! You can’t miss this chance, Y/N.”

“I’m not missing anything. We live together, it’s not worth it.”

“Not missing anything?” Rita looks at you as if you were mental. “You are literally missing everything!”

“I’m done with this conversation,” you tell him just when Harry appears again, this time with two of his bandmates, Sarah and Mitch are following him smiling, hand in hand.

“Charlotte had to leave early, but this is Sarah and Mitch,” Harry introduces them as they join the two of you at the table. “And this is my flatmate, Y/N and her friend Rita.”

You all shake hands as Harry sorts out the extra beers he has ordered so everyone has a drink on their hand.

It’s no surprise, but Sarah and Mitch prove themselves to be just as cool as they seemed up on the stage. And the best thing is that they don’t shy away from sharing funny stories that include Harry.

“So have you been looking for a new place to stay, Y/N?” Mitch jokes. “I’m sure you’ve had enough of Harry by now.”

“Very funny,” Harry laughs at his bandmate’s comment.

“To be honest it’s pretty fine so far. He is a pleasant person to share your home with,” you say with a soft chuckle.

“What’s one thing you hate about living with him?” Sarah asks and Harry pretends to be hurt over the question.

“Who said there’s anything she hates?”

“Shush, I was asking her!” she hushes at him making you laugh.

“I really can’t point out anything in particular. Maybe he has been very careful, luring me into believing that he is the perfect flatmate so I get stuck with him.”

You stay for a while, just chatting and having a good time until the bar starts to empty out and you decide it’s better if you head home as well.

“We have to take care of the equipment, are you leaving or do you want to wait for me?” Harry asks you.

“We’ll just call an Uber, don’t worry about it,” you smile at him.

“Alright, see you at home.”

You say goodbye to Sarah and Mitch and part your ways with them as you and Rite head outside.

“I hope you noticed how Harry was looking at you,” Rita smirks at you when the two of you are sitting at the back of the Uber.

“What are you talking about?” you sigh leaning your head against the seat.

“I caught him staring at you quite a few times.”

“He was just probably looking at me when I was talking. Don’t try to talk something into it that’s not true.”

“Alright, I’ll stop,” she replies holding up her hands. “But I still think you are missing out on some amazing dick.”

You awkwardly glance at the driver who is hearing everything you say, but Rita seemingly doesn’t mind that you’re not alone.

“You know what? We should give Tinder a try.”

“What? Why?”

“If you don’t want to make a move on your hot flatmate, we need to get some satisfaction from others.”

“I’m fine, thanks.”

“Oh, you are not,” she chuckles. “But you will be when you match with the hottest guys on campus.”

You let Rita believe that she convinced you to sign up for Tinder, but you get out of the car with the intention of never downloading the app, like ever.

Walking into the apartment you grab a clean, oversized t-shirt and a pair of panties since your sleeping shorts are all dirty, but you were planning to do the laundry tomorrow. You decide it’s not a big deal and the shirt will probably cover enough of your body.

You take a quick shower to get off the thick smell of the bar that’s stuck on your skin, taking your time moisturizing yourself once you’re done. When you get dressed you see that the shirt does cover your bum, but if you lifted your arms up it surely shows a big portion of your ass, so you’ll have to be careful if Harry arrives.

You’re lounging on the couch watching a rerun of House M.D. and scrolling through your phone when Harry arrives.

“Hey there, rockstar!” you greet him teasingly and he just chuckles shyly.

“Is it gonna be my new nickname?”

“Well, you really were one tonight, so I think yes,” you nod making him laugh. Walking further inside his eyes stop on your bare legs and he is quick to notice that you’re not wearing any pants, like you usually do. You immediately tug on the end of the shirt to cover more of your skin, but it’s not really working.

“Ehm, I’ll go and take a quick shower,” he informs you before disappearing in his room first and then rushing into the bathroom.

Looking down at your attire you decide it’ll be better if you threw on some sweats. Harry clearly got a little uncomfortable seeing you so bare, so it’s better to cover up. You’ll just take them off when you go to bed.

Harry doesn’t take too long in there, and when he joins you on the couch you are pretty sure he took a cold shower since no steam followed him when he left the bathroom. His eyes flicker to your now covered legs, but he doesn’t say anything, just makes himself comfortable next to you.

“You like it?” he asks nodding at the TV.

“Yeah, he is such an asshole, but it’s funny,” you huff. “Hey, I took a few pictures tonight. Wanna see if you like any of them?”

“Sure,” he nods pushing himself up a little as you unlock your phone and show him the photos you took of him and the band while performing.

Some of them ended up really cool, you were able to catch the lights and their movements just the right way, especially one stands out where he was holding out a note, basically screaming into the mic, he really looks like a rockstar on that one.

“Can you send me this one?”

“Done,” you smile at him and glancing over you see that he opens the Instagram app on his phone. You watch him crop and adjust it a little bit, then tag his bandmates and finally, he posts it.

“Wow, this is the first picture on your page with you actually on it,” you tease him.

“So you’ve been stalking my profile?” he smirks at you.

“I wanted to check you out before I moved in, but your social media was no help in that.”

“Yeah, I’m not a fan of posting that much, but this was a cool picture.”

“It’s an honor to know that I took the first one featuring you.”

“Actually, this is the second one, but it is the first one where my face is visible,” Harry tells you before turning his attention back to the TV, but the gears start to turn wildly in your mind, trying to remember which picture could be the other one.

Later, when you’re lying in your bed with your door closed, you pull up his profile and stat scrolling down. Most of the pictures fall out, because they have absolutely no trace of any human being on them. But then you stop at the one that features a black silhouette of a man, the one you thought wasn’t him.

Opening up you tap on the tag and see that it leads to Mitch’s profile, but now that you’ve met him, you’re pretty sure it’s not him in the picture. So you take a closer look and as you go over the small details, like the line of his neck, how wide his shoulders are and the untamed curls, you soon realize that it is indeed Harry in the photo.

You push down a moan when realization sets in, because that means that you’re staring at the naked silhouette of Harry and it immediately starts a fire between your legs.

“Jesus,” you whisper as you let yourself stare at the photo a little longer. You weren’t expecting it, but it’s surely making you feel some kind of way.

Locking your phone you throw it to your nightstand before you bury your head into your pillow. You have to press your thighs together quite tightly to make the throbbing sensation stop so you can finally fall asleep. Well, it takes some time before that happens and it’s quite torturous.

  Unlike how you planned, Rita finally gets you to download Tinder and give it a try. She helps you set up your profile, and though at first it feels incredibly awkward, you slowly adjust to being out there on the virtual market.

You start swiping left and right whenever you are bored during classes or you’re having a break from studying. Your matches start to pile up and soon enough you start getting messages as well. You reply to the ones you like or find funny and creative, giving them a chance, but not many end up going too far. Somehow the conversations always die down and you lose interest in the person.

Only one guy gets as far as asking you out and getting a yes as an answer. Jordan is a physics major and seemed like a nice and funny guy through the messages, good-looking too, so you decided to give it a go.

So Friday evening you dolled yourself up, put on a nice blouse with your favorite skinny jeans and black heels, ready to head out to your first ever Tinder date.

As you walk out of your room you find Harry in the kitchen in his basketball shorts and a simple black t-shirt making himself a cup of tea. The shorts are hanging low on his waist and as he reaches up to get the hones from the cupboard you get a glimpse of the soft skin on his lower waist. You quickly look away before you could have any further thoughts about what else is under the waistband of his shorts.

“Oh, where are you heading all dressed up?” he asks, eyebrows raised.

“I actually have a date,” you admit nervously as you grab your keys and put it away in your purse.

“Lucky guy,” he smiles and you can feel your cheeks heating up again. There’s just something in the way he compliments you, it makes your knees go jelly.

“Thanks. I’ll see you later? I’m not sure when I’ll be back,” you tell him grabbing your jacket from the hanger next to the front door.

“Have fun,” he nods before you walk out.

 Jordan proves himself to be quite frankly the same guy you got to know through messages. He takes you to this Mexican themed bar and you are just chatting over some exciting looking cocktails, but you find yourself zoning out sometimes.

What is Harry doing right now? Is he staying at home? I should have asked if he had any plans. Maybe he is hooking up with someone right now.

You find yourself thinking about way more than you probably should and it’s making you lose your shit. So maybe this is why, or because Rita told you to just go with the flow, but when Jordan asks if you want to go up to his place you say yes.

It’s as awkward and bad as you were expecting, unfortunately. There’s a reason why you don’t hook up with every random guy you go out with once. You are totally on different pages, but when you are lying under him on his bed, you just know there’s no way out.

It’s not that he forces you, because you’re sure he would have stopped if you asked, but it would be so awkward to just walk out because you weren’t feeling the vibe. So at least one of you should enjoy it.

You should deserve an Oscar for that orgasm you fake, it’s so believable. Jordan doesn’t seem to notice that you felt absolutely nothing, just frustration and impatience, he tries to make you stay the night, but you save yourself with a lie that you have to wake up early in the morning so it’s best if you head home.

Your frustration just grows on your way home. You were really hoping to get laid tonight, so maybe that could stop you from fantasizing about Harry, because your thoughts have been wild since you found out that he is the one on that Instagram picture. It doesn’t help that he has been walking around shirtless quite a lot.

Shameful or not, you even touched yourself once thinking about him. You were home alone after a particularly boring day so you thought you’d just get yourself off. Before you could realize where your thoughts have wandered, you were moaning his name as you came hard. You couldn’t look into his eyes that day when he came home, he probably thought you were nuts, basically running away from him.

It’s almost midnight when you get back home, you were expecting Harry to be asleep by now since he has band practice in the morning, but you are surprised to see light coming from his room. As you close the front door, kicking your heels off he walks out, of course, without a shirt, his glorious body on full display.

“Hey, how was your date?” he asks as you step to the fridge to get yourself something to drink. You’ve been so damn thirsty since Jordan was… done with you, you could have asked for some water at least, but you just wanted to leave as fast as possible.

“Ugh, don’t even ask,” you whine, leaning against the counter.

“That bad?”

“Worse,” you roll your eyes and Harry chuckles softly.

“Come on, it couldn’t be that bad if you came home so late.”

“Well, it did start off nice, but I shouldn’t have said yes when he asked if I wanted to go to his place.”

“Oh.”

“Worst sex of my life, I wanted out the moment we arrived, to be honest,” you honestly say, feeling a little weird that you’re talking to Harry about it, but you just want to get it off your chest.

“Then why didn’t you just leave?”

“Dunno, I just… I was hoping for just a little satisfaction, but I guess I asked for too much,” you sigh finishing up your water and you walk past him with the intention to grab your pajamas and have a shower that would wash away the happenings of the night, but Harry’s voice stops you.

“Not everything is lost just yet.” Turning around you give him a puzzled look.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He bites into his bottom lip and lets his eyes travel down your body, his intent gaze sends a shiver down your spine. When his eyes return to your gaze your heart is wildly beating against your chest.

“I mean that… I can make you feel good, if you want.”

Your mouth hangs open and your eyebrows shoot up at the blunt offer he just made. At first you’re not even sure you heard him right, but as you replay his words you realize that you indeed heard him crystal clear.

“Are you messing with me right now?” you ask, feeling like it’s all just a joke. He did not just offer to satisfy you because you complained to him about how bad your date was.

Harry takes a few steps closer to you, a small smirk tugging on his lips.

“Not really. You want to get off and I would love to be the one to help you with it.”

“But… we live together,” you say and realize how stupid this just sounded, but you hope he gets what you were trying to say.

“So? Does that mean we can’t fuck?”

The way he said that makes your legs go weak for sure. You’ve been fantasizing about things similar to this, but those were nowhere near to actually hear him propose the idea of fucking.

“But… it’ll be weird, won’t it?”

“Only if we make it.”

He walks closer, closing the distance between the two of you and he cups your cheek in his hand as his eyes flicker down to your lips.

“Harry…” you breathe out, but you already know you gave in. There’s no way you can say him no, not after weeks of dreaming about the exact same thing.

“Just stop thinking,” he tells you before pressing his lips against yours.

He kisses you hard and you gladly let his tongue push into your mouth within a second, kissing him back with the same passion. You wrap your arms around his neck as his hands travel down on your sides until they reach your ass and they give it a bold squeeze, making you moan into his lips. You feel him grin as his hands move over to your thighs and he urges you to jump and so you do, wrapping your legs around his waist.

Though you keep your eyes closed, kissing him hard, you can tell he brings you to the couch, laying you down to your back, holding himself up above you. He starts kissing down your jawline and neck, sucking and biting on the sensitive skin. His hands grab the hem of your shirt and you lift yourself up a bit so he can pull it off, throwing it away to somewhere behind the couch. While his lips are sucking on your breasts wherever they are bulging out from the lacy bra, his hands work fast on your jeans, undoing the button and the zipper, tugging them down until you can just kick them right off.

“Matching set? You were really counting on having a good time tonight,” he mumbles against your tummy as he kisses his way down on your body.

His right hand reaches up and cups your breast before it slides under you and easily unclasps your bra. You quickly slide the straps off and throw it to the side, so now you are lying under him only in your panties, whimpering and panting at every kiss he leaves on your body.

“What do you want, Y/N?” he hums glancing up at you, sitting between your legs as he slides just one finger over your soaking wet panties, running it along your throbbing center.

“Fuck, I want you,” you breathe out.

“How exactly do you want me?”

“Jesus, just eat me out, Harry!” you shamelessly moan and he smugly smirks before he hooks his fingers into your panties and pulls them down, throwing it to the ground.

Now you’re lying completely naked in front of him, and he pushes your knees farther apart, looking down at you with lustful eyes.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this,” he growls as he gets closer and without a warning, he licks into you.

You moan in sensation as he starts sucking on your clit, his tongue working perfectly against your bud. Your hands find their way into his hair and you grab a handful of it in each. Oh, how many times you’ve thought about doing this!

“Harry!” you cry out when you feel him push a finger into you, slowly pumping it in and out a few times before he adds another to it. He quickly picks up his pace as he keeps sucking on your clit, getting you closer to your orgasm with every lick.

“Fuck, I’m so close!” you moan, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you struggle to even breathe.

“Cum for me, baby,” he mumbles against your wet clit and just a few more pumps later you came, screaming his name.

“Fucking hell, Harry!” you breathe out when he climbs up on you smirking.

“You think you can handle another one?” he asks, pecking your lips softly. Looking down you see how hard he is and even if you were on the verge of dying you would have said yes. There’s no way you let him get up from this couch unsatisfied after the orgasm he just gave you.

Instead of saying anything, you push on him until he is sitting on the couch and you have your knees on his sides.

“I think you are a little overdressed, aren’t you?” you ask teasingly as you bring a hand down to his erection, cupping it through his shorts and underwear.

Harry cranes his neck so his lips could meet yours again as he lifts his hips up, pushing his shorts down along with his boxers. You sit back down to his lap and his erection presses against your wet folds making you moan into his mouth.

“Do you want me to suck you off?” you ask breathlessly, but Harry shakes his head.

“I would last, I just want to fuck you,” he growls and you swear to God that was the hottest thing you’ve ever heard.

“Condom, we need a condom,” you tell him, still kissing his lips.

You get off him and he quickly runs into his room, shortly returning with a condom between his teeth. He rips the package on his way and falls back to the couch, rolling it on carefully. When he is done you swing your leg over him and get on top again, holding onto his broad shoulders. He grabs the base of his cock and lines himself up to your center and you give yourself a moment to admire his naked beauty right in front of you.

You look into his sparkling eyes and leaning down you kiss him hard as you slowly ease down to his length, his cock slowly filling you up fully.

“Oh fuck!” he moans at the feeling of you around him. His fingers dig deep into your waist as you stay still for a few moments, adjusting to his length. “You alright?” he asks breathlessly. Your eyes meet his and you nod a little before you start moving.

It takes a few moments to find the right pace and get yourself comfortable, but when you finally do, you just can’t stop. His hands are on your ass as he guides your hips a little and you feel the rings on his fingers against your heated skin. He buries his face into your neck nibbling and kissing on the soft skin wherever he reaches.

“Fuck, you look so fucking hot, Y/N,” he grunts when you let your head fall back, feeling your orgasm slowly building up again.

“Harry, I’m gonna cum again,” you pant, picking up a faster pace, desperate for release.

“Cum for me, baby. Let me make you feel good!” he moans wrapping his arms around you as he holds you still, stopping you from moving, but instead he starts thrusting into you, his cock buries so deep into your pussy, your eyes roll back into your head from the feeling.

“Yes! Don’t fucking stop!” you scream as he keeps fucking you hard.

It doesn’t take too long until you fall completely apart and cum again, your legs basically turning into jelly. Just a few thrusts later Harry cums as well, thrusting deep into you a few more times as he moans into your neck.

You lie completely numb on him, his fingers gently stroking your naked back as you try to come back to reality. When you lean back and your eyes meet again you are still speechless.

“I’ve literally wanted it since the day you walked into this place,” he admits with a soft chuckle.

“Really?” you giggle shyly.

“Oh, really. Seeing you around, sometimes without a bra under your shirt completely killed me most of the time.”

Your cheeks are heating up, you didn’t think he noticed when you weren’t wearing a bra.

“Don’t be so shy, you have amazing tits, you are not allowed to wear a bra anymore around here,” he teases you grinning as you laugh and leaning down you kiss him shortly.

“I had quite a few fantasies about you too,” you admit making him raise his eyebrows.

“Really?”

“Mhm, especially after you walked out of the bathroom naked, even though I didn’t even see your dick then.”

Harry chuckles lightly as he pushes his hair back from his forehead, resting his head against the back of the couch.

“So…” you shyly start, ”what now?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that… we live together and we just fucked. What does this mean for the future?”

“Well, I thought that next time we could do it the right way. I could take you out on a proper date, and then fuck you on the kitchen counter.”

You laugh at how blunt he is, but you love the idea he just proposed.

“Okay. Sounds fine by me.”

[onceupon]

London Boy

summary: Y/n finds herself all the way across the pond, trying to escape OBX. But much to her surprise, a certain someone might get in the way.

pairing: Rafe x reader (just an intro in this part, we’ll get there dw)

warnings: swearing, drinking, some mentions of anxiety?

word count: 3.2k

a/n: if you’re a sucker for a slow burn like me, buckle up and enjoy the ride. I plan on this being multiple parts and this is also my first time posting so please be gentle with me lol :’-) (not canon Rafe)

You huffed as you dragged your extra large and definitely overweight luggage down to the pickup area at Heathrow airport. You had just landed in London where you’d be going to school until the holidays.  You had decided to apply for, and actually got accepted into, your high school’s British exchange program. Every year Kildare Academy gave the option for 15 seniors to study for half the school year at Westheath Academy in London, a private boarding school, while 15 kids from their school came to yours. Normally, you wouldn’t have dreamed of leaving your friends and family for that long, not to mention missing out on half of senior year at home. But ever since the drama that erupted during the summer after your junior year that ended with you being shunned by your “friend group” (where they really ever your friends to begin with?), you practically jumped at the opportunity to get as far away from the Outer Banks as possible, albeit for a little while.

You didn’t know at all what to expect at Westheath, you had skipped the predeparture orientation at Kildare a few weeks ago, but you didn’t care - didn’t care who was going or what Westheath was like, all that mattered was that for the next few months you could finally breath. It was the clean slate you desperately needed, a chance to finally be around people and places you hadn’t known since birth. Sure there were going to be 14 other kids from Kildare there as well, but you had zero intentions of sticking with your OBX peers over the next few months. You weren’t going to let your small town suffocate you for a second longer if you could help it.

You double checked the license plate on your phone screen as the Uber you ordered pulled up.

“Y/N?” the driver called out from the front-right window (god that was going to take some getting used to.)

“Yep!” you smiled, huffing as you tried to pick up your luggage and step off the curb. Thankfully the uber driver was quick to your rescue, effortlessly lifting your suitcase into the trunk of the car. Leave it to you to overpack without even thinking to leave room for all of the clothes and souvenirs you were certain to accumulate - oh well, an excuse for a new suitcase you supposed.

Not in the mood for small talk, you were relieved that the Uber driver silently read your mind, playing a pop station as you both respectfully ignored each other’s presence. You anxiously tapped your thumb on your phone, eyes flicking between the screen where you watched your route progress and the view out your window of townhomes, pubs, and countless strangers passing by.

You hadn’t felt anxious about leaving for London the entire first half of junior year, so why was your stomach and head simultaneously churning now? You were so excited to experience a version of life that was the opposite of everything you were trying to get away from - a version of life that involved British accents, buzzing city life, and endless possibilities. But it was all of a sudden dawning on you how unfamiliar it all was. As much as you hated to admit it to yourself, no matter how far you ran, you would never be able to fully separate yourself from OBX. That damned small beach-town would always be a part of you, an inextricable thread in the fabric of your life.

The Uber pulled up to a halt in front of your destination. You hesitantly glanced out your window as you double checked the silver number on the building. Yep, 25 Brampton Rd - you were here. The Uber driver graciously lifted your suitcase out of the trunk for you and as he pulled away you let out a long breath - your fresh start was waiting behind the doors in front of you.

You rang the doorbell to the lobby, the security here no joke. You were soon buzzed into the building and you shakily pulled your suitcase in behind you, desperately trying to calm your nerves to no avail.

“Hi,” you croaked out as you approached the man seated at the front desk. “I’m- uhh here to check in to my apartment- uh I mean flat… I think… I’m with the Kildare Academy exchange,” you rambled, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. Despite your best efforts, your anxiety was taking over.

The man gave you a sympathetic smile. “Name please?”

“Y/n L/n,” you replied, pulling your lips into a sheepish straight-lined smile as you mindlessly tapped your fingers on the handle of your suit case.

“L/n, L/n, L/n,” the man quietly muttered under his breath as his pen traced over a list of names. “Ahh here you are. Alright Miss L/n, here is a fob, this lets you into the building, now this key lets you into your flat, you’ll be on the second floor - apartment 2C, and this key is for your individual room,” he began to fire off at you as he rounded the desk and came to grab your suitcase, beginning to walk as you hastily followed suit. “This packet will tell you everything you need to know about our building here - wifi, laundry, trash days,” he shoved some papers in your hand as you both entered the elevator, him pressing the button for the second floor.

You emerged on to your floor and a few steps later you two were at the door of your new home, which the man quickly unlocked gesturing for you to step inside. “And this, Miss L/n, is your flat for the next few months with us here at Westheath. Your room is the second right down the hall there and I believe you’re the first here. Two of your flatmates who are yet to check in are from Kildare, such as yourself, and the other two are students of our own here at Westheath. You know I’m surprised how early you are, classes don’t start until next week! But nevertheless I’ll let you get settled,” you stood staring blankly at your new surroundings, more or less registering the words this man was firing off at you.

“I’m Richard by the way, if you ever need anything you know where to find me,” the man extended his hand toward you.

“Thank you,” you smiled, accepting his handshake.

“Welcome to Westheath,” he smiled back and just as quickly was turning on his heel and back out the door before you could get in another word, leaving you in your new flat by yourself.

You slowly walked through the empty place, meandering through the kitchen and living area, down the hall, peaking into the bathroom, and then finding your way to your room. It certainly wasn’t the type of living arrangement you were used to back home - your family lived on Figure 8 in the Outer Banks meaning you had grown up surrounded by mansions and luxuries. This place was small, simple, and yet it was cozy and well… perfect. It was the exact opposite of your Figure 8 life and that alone was enough to make you love it. You smiled, content, as you sank on to your empty bed, taking in your new room. You had a nice sized desk, a decent shelf, and a wardrobe. Simple and sufficient. You could get used to this. The room was starkly barren, but since school wasn’t set to start for another week and no one was here yet you made a mental note to go on a little mission to find some plants and decorations to bring the white box that was your room a bit more to life.

——-

Three days had passed and still your other flat mates had yet to show. You were starting to wonder if they ever would or if you’d end up living in this flat all by yourself. Your room was now decorated, you had found some cute posters in a shop you had wandered into, some plants in another, and string lights in a third. You had acquainted yourself with the grocery store around the corner and the drug store down the street and you’d even gone on the tube all by yourself.

Being on your own these last few days had been decidedly therapeutic, leaving you unable to contain a cheesy grin every time it hit you that you were actually here, in London, far far away from OBX. But you couldn’t help feeling a little lonely, with a passing hello to Richard every time you left and returned to the building being your main source of human interaction these last few days.

You laid on your bed as you debated the decision you were about to make - you would’ve never dared to use Tinder back home. You knew virtually everyone on the island and would’ve been absolutely mortified to match with anybody there. But hey - you were in London baby! This was a fresh start and nothing was off limits. You sighed and gave in, downloading the app and quickly making a profile. You must’ve rearranged the order of your pictures at least a dozen times before you finally decided it was good enough. You started to swipe, an endless supply of British boys at your finger tips. You couldn’t suppress a chuckle at how funny the whole concept was, your inbox already flooding with cheesy pick up lines from your matches. You spent the next hour going back and forth with these boys, silly, meaningless, flirty conversations - god it was so much easier being a flirt through a screen, you would be positively flushed in the face in person, unless you were drunk of course (your drunk self was a dangerously confident flirt for sure).

Liam: are you free tonight? Down to grab a drink and chat?

Oh wow. Straight to the point wasn’t he. You knew the point of the app was to eventually get off it and meet up with someone, but now that you were met with the opportunity, your stomach was flipping upside down. Fuck it, what do you have to lose?

Y/n: yeah that sounds great, I’m in Hammersmith if you wanted to go somewhere there?

Liam: perfect so am I (: 8pm at The Ladle. See you there xx

Pure adrenaline coursed through your body as you started doing your hair and makeup, throwing clothes all around your small room to find the perfect outfit that was cute but simultaneously made it seem like you weren’t trying too hard. You threw your wallet and keys in your purse, chugged the glass of wine you had been casually sipping on by yourself, and quickly headed out the door before you could overthink it and change your mind.

——

You nervously approached the bar that Google Maps had directed to you, not sure what you were getting yourself into, but you had already walked all the way here so you’d be damned if you didn’t see it through.

“Y/n?” a voice called out to you. God, hearing your name in that accent sent shivers down your spine.

“Yeah that’s me, Liam?” you questioned back, staring up at the fluffy browned-hair boy approaching you.

“That’s me,” he winked, extending his arm out to you which you nervously grabbed, as he led you into The Ladle, spotting an empty table for the two of you.

“So Y/n, what are you doing here in London. Something tells me you’re not from here?”the boy across from you smiled as you two got settled in your seats.

“Hmmm I wonder what could’ve ever given it away,” you replied with a sarcastic smile, American accent in full force. “But I’m here for school, on an exchange at Westheath Academy.”

“Oh shit, that means we’ll see each other around. I’m finishing up my last year actually. And somehow you’re the first American I’ve had the pleasure of being on a date with,” he smiled with a devilish grin that felt like it was burning into you, you hoping the flush on your cheeks wasn’t too obvious with the dim lighting.

“Lucky me,” you smiled back, faking a sly confidence as best you could despite the fact that you were all nerves on the inside. Dating was not something you were familiar with, having maybe gone on two back home, if those even counted.

“First round on me, what are you drinking tonight Y/n?”

“Umm a vodka cran is fine,” you replied to which you were immediately met with a scoff.

“No way babe, you’re in a pub in England now. Should’ve figured as much coming from an American like you,” he chuckled with a shake of his head, his fluffy hair bouncing with it. “I’m getting you a pint,” he asserted, walking over to the bar and giving you a moment to breath and collect yourself. You hated beer but weren’t about to put up a fight, at this point you would down just about any alcohol in order to get some more liquid courage in your system.

He quickly returned, placing the tall glass of golden-colored liquid in front of you.

“Cheers, to new school mates,” he winked extending his glass up to yours.

“To new school mates,” you smiled back, bringing your glass to clink with his, taking a long swig and trying not to grimace at the taste of the liquid going down your throat.

——

The night passed by quickly, you and Liam going through three rounds of drinks as you both laughed and bantered with one another, your nerves all but dissipated by the alcohol now coursing through your bloodstream. Heck, the beer was even starting to taste… good? God you barely recognized yourself anymore, but in the best possible way. One by one you were letting the closely guarded walls you had built up over the years in OBX fall, and you were feeling better than ever before - you felt free.

You and Liam stumbled back arms linked to the building you found out you were both living in, Liam on the fourth floor. You rummaged for the fob in your purse and you both got on the elevator, Liam instinctively pressing both your floor numbers. The elevator dinged opening to your floor, Liam turning to you with a cheeky smile.

“See you around, Y/n,” he winked. Why did you find that so attractive, or maybe it’s just because you were slightly drunk.

“Goodnight Liam,” you smirked back, blowing him a kiss as you walked out the elevator, the doors closing behind you.

You couldn’t help but smile like an idiot as you unlocked your flat and stumbled into your room, immediately collapsing on your bed. London. It was definitely going to be an adventure.

——

You were woken up the next day by the sun peaking through your window. You yawned and let out a big stretch, still giddy from last night’s date. It’s not like you thought you had just met your soulmate or something, you both kept the evening light, mainly joking and flirting as you downed drinks. But god you couldn’t remember the last time you had that much fun or ended a night feeling so confident and carefree. You were embracing every ounce of the euphoria you were getting from your new life.

You slipped out of bed and made your way to the kitchen, still rubbing the morning crust out of your eyes. Just as you got a pot of coffee going, you heard the distinct sound of a key turning, startling you as you realized it was coming from outside of your flat’s door. You cursed at the fact that you were about to meet a new flatmate while in your flannel pajamas and messy bun hanging halfway off your head, but mainly you were excited to finally have some company.

“Dude it’s no Figure 8 living but fuck it I’ll live anywhere to not have my parents breathing down my neck these next few months,” you heard a voice say, now in the hallway of your flat.

You immediately freeze. That was a male voice, definitely a male. Of course it makes sense now that you think of it, everyone in the flat gets their own room so what does it matter if the flat is co-ed. The thought just hadn’t crossed your mind, you automatically assumed you’d be living with all girls.

“Yeah man, anywhere that’s 1,000 miles away from Ward sounds like the perfect place to me,” another male voice laughed in return. Ward? Ward Cameron? That couldn’t possibly be who the voice was referring to because that would mean you were living with- and before you could even finish your thought you were standing jaw slightly parted staring at Rafe Cameron and Topper Thornton  in front of you. Two of the most popular guys at school.

You weren’t really friends but your families knew each other so you inevitably saw one another at kook events every now and then. You couldn’t help but feel intimidated by them. You always told yourself you didn’t care about boys like Rafe and Topper or about fitting in with their crowd, yet you always became nervous in their presence.  They were cool. They partied a lot, were athletes, and had girls tripping over them, which you couldn’t fault considering anyone with eyes could tell they were attractive, but you’d never have the confidence to be so bold with guys like that. Unless you were drunk of course. And unless you were the new confident and carefree version of yourself that you had been on your date last night with Liam.

“Yo Y/n, no fucking way, I didn’t know we’d get to live with girl,” Topper smiled at you with a teasing grin.

You were suddenly acutely aware of how disheveled you look and how you weren’t wearing a bra under your thin pajama top.

“Uh hey w-what are you guys doing here,” you managed to choke out. That confident girl from last night had disappeared as quickly as she had arrived, leaving you now feeling winded in front of the two boys from your hometown. Why were you getting so flustered?

“Just on a little exchange program from Kildare, maybe you’ve heard of it,” teased Rafe sarcastically, a smile tugging at his lips, holding back a laugh at how caught off guard you looked.

“Yeah no yeah of course,” you stuttered, “I guess I just wasn’t expecting you two to want to sign up for it.”

That’s when you realized the obvious. Every year there was always a number of spots reserved on the exchange for athletes, and Rafe and Topper were two of Kildare’s star soccer players.

“What and get to miss an opportunity to play at Westheath and go to Premier League games all semester? No shot,” laughed Topper.

“Maybe you should’ve gone to orientation after all, roomie,” joked Rafe as he picked up his bag following Topper down the hall to their rooms. Rafe Cameron noticed I didn’t go to orientation?

You let your face fall in your hands with a groan only audible to you. You quickly picked up your head and shook yourself off, pouring yourself a cup of coffee as you tried to ground yourself from your frazzled state. Looks like escaping OBX was going to be harder than you thought.

---

Part 2

[sweetjekyll]

Under The Same Roof, part 2 — BBH

pairing: Byun Baekhyun x Reader

genre: Roommate / Flatmate AU, one-shot, friends to lovers, mutual pining, fluff, blind date rating: teen and up warnings: tiniest and slightest bit of angst and jealousy, slightly suggestive towards the end word count: 5.2k

summary: Baekhyun and Y/N have been flatmates for a while and romance is in the air.

Requested: Part 2 was highly requested by both known readers and anons, so I hope you all enjoy the continuation of the first part! (keyword “roof” + sentence “Oh my God. You’re in love with her.” from this writing game post.)

Masterlist — PART 1

A/N: aaaaah it’s finally here! Merry Christmas everyone and happy holidays. I hope you’re healthy and surrounded with love, and I hope all of you are having a good time even if you don’t celebrate Christmas. Thank you to everyone who supported the first part of this story and patiently waited for the second part, I hope you will like this one as much as the first if not more! I made it way longer than the first part and added a bonus ending. Have fun reading! stay safe ❤

⟶ To my dear readers: feedback is highly encouraged and important! as it gives me motivation to write with more passion, knowing that you like what you are reading. Please LIKE and REBLOG so more people can find this and read it. ❤ My askbox is always open for questions or to chat ❤

Enjoy! ❤

The guys could’ve spent practically all night playing games, but Chanyeol had other plans in mind after the short chat he had with Sehun and Baekhyun about the latter’s crush on his roommate. Sehun was never one to turn down an invite to drink with his friends no matter the day of the week, so the fact that he agreed immediately to Chanyeol’s suggestion when he asked the two if they wanted to go have a drink at the bar Y/N and Baekhyun worked, it was an easy “yes”. You would’ve had about an hour and a half until it was closing time at 11PM, as it was a Thursday anyway.

Baekhyun on the other hand wasn’t that easy to convince. He was supposed to work the following morning and be at his best to serve freshly brewed coffee to university students, professors and other customers who liked to linger in the early hours of daylight. Also, Thursday nights were one of the few times he got to relax after working shifts from morning to late afternoon.

“I know you two,” Baekhyun scowled at his friends, who were waiting in the doorway to his bedroom while he pushed one of his legs in a pair of old black jeans. “It’s never just one drink with you… I’ll end up wasted under one of the tables and then Y/N will have to carry me home.”

“For someone so eager to get dressed and walk out of the house, you’re complaining too much.” Sehun smirked as he nudged Chanyeol with his elbow.

“Don’t worry, it’s just one drink,” Chanyeol reassured him as Baekhyun was finally done getting dressed. “Besides, you literally live a couple of blocks from your job and neither of us has to drive. We’ll call a taxi.” There was a faint yet lingering smile of satisfaction on the taller man’s face. He wasn’t really a patient guy and his mind was still in a frenzy after coming up with a plan to get Baekhyun and his flatmate to go out on a date.

Baekhyun threw on a leather jacket and brushed back his bangs with his fingers, ready to step out of the apartment. He was about to lock the door after switching off the lights but then stopped as he thought about something for a brief moment. “Hang on, I forgot something.” He let his friends know as he hurried back inside and into the bathroom.

Once he was back and finally locked the door, both Chanyeol and Sehun got a whiff of something in the air. “Is that… Perfume?” They asked inquisitive.

Baekhyun furrowed his brows as he walked past them down the corridor. “And what about it? Y/N gifted it to me for my birthday.”

“This is going to be easier than I thought,” Chanyeol hummed as they headed towards your workplace at last.

The cafe turned into bar during evenings looked cozy in autumns and winters; some Halloween decorations lingered here and there although it was past October and halfway through into November, but the fake vine leaves painted red, yellow and orange warmed up the walls nicely. You liked the fall decorations, but you loved even more winter and Christmas decorations, although it was a hassle to take everything down and put new things up, it was still satisfying as the end result.

You spotted Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Sehun out of the corner of your eye as soon as they entered the bar thanks to the bell ringing on top of the door. “There you go, Lucas,” you placed a glass of cold beer on top of a napkin in front of one of your regular customers and looked around, quickly facing the three new friendly faces once you made sure that no one else needed your services. “Good evening guys!” You said cheerfully, a warm feeling spreading through your chest to see Baekhyun keeping his promise to come pick you up after work, even more so considering he was rather early for it.

“Ah, my favorite bartender!” Sehun mused as he leaned against the counter with a smirk on his expression. ”You look a bit overworked although there aren’t many customers.”

Baekhyun noticed it as well and looked behind the counter and around the familiar workplace. “Where’s Minseok? Weren’t you two supposed to work tonight’s shift together?”

You inhaled a long breath as you glanced down with busy eyes to grab a rag from a hidden surface on your workspace, then picked it up and cleaned the countertop in front of the three men. “I think he had something for dinner that upset his stomach to the point where he was nauseated.” You winced as you explained to them without much detail as you didn’t know how your coworker was doing after he left. “I told him to go home and rest just in case… But anyway,” you smiled once again. “What can I get you guys to drink?” You asked as you returned the rag in its previous spot and placed three napkins on the counter.

“For starters, I’d say shots of soju and then beers?” Chanyeol looked at his friends but Baekhyun shook his head when he heard the doorbell signal the arrival of more customers.

“I’ll help Y/N,” he said and promptly walked behind the counter to join you. He picked up one of the aprons matching yours from a hanger on the wall and put it on after he took off his jacket.

“Don’t worry Baek, it’s your night off,” you tried to persuade him to just enjoy the night with his friends but he just gave you his usual warm and reassuring smile that made your heart flutter with content.

“Nonsense,” he shrugged as he spun around to softly bump his shoulder into yours and looked into your eyes, “I’m happy to work with you.” You felt your cheeks heat up at his words and you could barely hide the smile that graced your lips once your coworker welcomed the new customers with a loud and cheerful tone.

Your reaction didn’t go unnoticed to the two friends sitting on the other side of the counter, across from you. Chanyeol nudged Sehun with his elbow and whispered to just play along, after he made sure that Baekhyun’s ears were out of reach for what he was about to say. You placed two shots of soju on the napkins and turned around to fill two glasses with beer. “So, Y/N,” you looked over your shoulder for a brief second at Chanyeol, “are you single?”

The question wasn’t new to your ears, especially after working as a bartender, but it still caught you off guard coming from him. “I did not expect you to ask me something like this, Mr. Park.” You confessed with a chuckle while walking back to take away the empty shot glasses and placed two glasses filled to the brim with foaming beer. “Why do you want to know?”

“Well, are you?” Sehun questioned with a raised eyebrow, carefully picking up the glass to take a sip from it while holding your suspicious gaze.

You let your shoulders slump with a sigh as you averted their eyes and, without meaning to, you looked in Baekhyun’s direction. “Yes, I’m single.” You nodded as your smile faltered, you looked around at the other customers while feeling a bit nervous.

“Perfect!” Chanyeol beamed as he clapped his hands once and leaned closer to the counter, you just eyed him with suspicion. “There’s this very nice guy, he’s a bit talkative and playful,” he began explaining but kept it quite mysterious, “A friend of ours, you know… I would like you do go on a blind date with him.”

“I’m sorry… What now?” You were taken aback by his sudden request that you didn’t know how else to react. It was a nice gesture, sure… but you already had feelings for someone else and weren’t sure if a blind date would be a good idea, not at the moment at least.

“I promise he’s a very friendly and good guy,” Sehun added, playing along to Chanyeol’s plan although they didn’t even talk about it beforehand. He licked his lips to get the residue of the beer foam and arched his brows at you. “Unless you like somebody else already.” Blood rushed to your face and you felt hot under your clothes, hesitant about answering your foot started bouncing nervously and you crossed your arms. Should you be honest and tell them or should you keep it for yourself? Well… “There is someone I like.” You confessed, but it just made you sad to say it so you continued before they could ask anything else about this crush of yours. “But I don’t think it’ll work out so I might as well go on a blind date with your friend.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Baekhyun’s curious voice made you slightly jolt on your feet and you flashed him a nervous smile. “Are you going on a date?” You tilted your head unsure of what to say since he was the one person you didn’t want to find out about this blind date, at least not like this… or ever. You thought you could maybe just go at the date and never call back Chanyeol and Sehun’s friend, but then another question popped in your head. Does Baekhyun know this friend of theirs? Would he mind? It’s not like he had feelings for you, so why were you so worried about it?

Thankfully, you heard the voice of one of your customers call for you and used it as an excuse to leave. “This is a discussion for another time, I gotta go back to work!” And just like that you were gone in an instant, meanwhile Baekhyun faced Chanyeol and Sehun with a half disappointed and half irritated expression.

“A blind date?!” He hissed under his breath.

They both nodded with pleased smirks. “She said yes, so you better make this work, otherwise you’re truly hopeless.” Chanyeol replied and finally let himself taste the beer that’s been sitting in front of him on the counter for a while.

Baekhyun’s anger dissipated immediately, his eyes widened in surprise and his mouth fell agape. “You set us up on a blind date?” He whispered while stealing glances in your direction. His heart rate began speeding up while he watched you smile politely at a couple who were paying for their drinks, getting ready to leave.

“Although…” Sehun inhaled a long breath as he looked down at his drink, his smile faded. Baekhyun’s attention was immediately on him, feeling his heart drop at the man’s words. “She did say she likes someone.” Chanyeol gave him a hard nudge with his elbow, eliciting a pained groan from the man sitting next to him. “What?! I’m just saying, she didn’t say who… Y/N thinks it’s not going to work out so you don’t have to worry.”

Baekhyun sighed and scratched his head, too many thoughts were running through his head in that moment and he didn’t know how to process the fact that there indeed was someone you liked… You’ve been friends for a few years and were roommates as well, so why did you not talk to him about this person you seem to like so much?

He became rather quiet that night and even the following days, he was practically sulking since he was stuck with the thought that the blind date was going to be a disaster. That didn’t stop Chanyeol from insisting on taking care of all the details about the date, he went as far as borrowing both yours and Baekhyun’s work schedules to set up a perfect timing for you to meet. You noticed immediately the change in his behavior, he wasn’t avoiding you, he would never do that, but he was acting too distant. You tried asking but didn’t push further because maybe he needed some time for himself, otherwise he would have opened up to you, at least you hoped.

It went on like that for a couple of days until you couldn’t take it anymore, you missed Baekhyun being his usual playful and loud self, he was the source of your serotonin and it affected your mood as well. It was the last few days of November, the shop was closed for the day due to the fact that you needed to take down the autumnal decorations and brighten up the place with Christmas ones.

“Baekhyun, we really need to talk.” You told him with a preoccupied tone, hoping he wouldn’t try and dodge the conversation as he had been doing for nearly half of November. He didn’t look at you from his high place on the ladder, instead, his pupils were fixed on his fingers unrolling the fairy lights and hanging them on the wall, supported by nails that had been stuck into the bricks for who knows how many years.

“Alright, alright,” he nodded and hummed for a moment, pausing his work to look down; your hands were securely holding onto the ladder for him and keeping it in place so he felt safe to be up there, occasionally passing him Christmas decorations from the boxes piled up next to your feet. “I’ll clean and decorate the bathrooms.”

You scoffed, incredulous that he actually managed to talk about anything else but his feelings. “I’m not talking about the bathroom, but since you said you’re going to do it, I won’t stop you.”

“Damn!” He chuckled with a shake of his head and went back to fixing the lights. “Okay, let’s talk, but I warn you, if this is about me—“

“It’s precisely about you! You’ve been avoiding my questions, I’m concerned about you. Something happened and you haven’t openly spoken to me ever since that night at the bar.” You interjected and heard him complain with a groan of your name, to which you let go of the ladder, making the man almost scream in fear.

“What are you doing—“ High pitched words reached your ears as you crossed your arms and just gazed up at him with arched brows, feeling so done with his behavior. He dropped the fairy lights without meaning to and wrapped his hands on both sides of the ladder, holding on for dear life. “No, no, no— Okay, fine! I’ll tell you, just please don’t let go of the ladder.” You held onto the ladder once more and watched him climb down until he was finally to your eye level. “There’s this girl I like, I’ve liked her for a while now actually.” Baekhyun let out a long, defeated sigh. “Turns out she likes some other person and I don’t know why I thought I could—“ He stopped himself from saying anything else as he ran one of his hand over his face, frustrated that he was confessing to you how he felt, except he was still hiding the actual truth. What a coward, he thought. He was convinced now more than ever that the blind date was truly a bad idea, he just didn’t know how to tell Chanyeol that he didn’t have the balls to go through with it and accept your rejection once you found out he was your secret date. “I like her a lot.” He added.

You felt you heart fasten at his words, it was drumming so hard that the pulse in your ears felt deafening… Baekhyun liked another girl, you repeated to yourself in your head. For a short moment and in a totally awkward silence you felt like an idiot; an idiot for feeling jealousy when he mentioned another girl, when you should’ve said something to comfort him. You were frowning, unable to move or say anything coherent until you forced yourself to say: “I’m sorry.” You bit your lip and looked down at your hands. “She’s an idiot.” You spit out with slight anger lacing your words.

“Why do you say so?” His tone softened when he noticed how upset you were over what he told you, he didn’t think you would care that much about a girl not liking him back… and the worst part was that you were that girl. “She’s allowed to like someone else, it’s just that I’m a coward and I didn’t tell her that I like her because I’m afraid of her rejecting me.” It felt so surreal that he was running his mouth like that, actually confessing the truth to you but you still had no idea.

Your head head snapped up towards him with your lips parted, ready to fight back his insecurities, except you didn’t realize what you were saying until it was already too late. “Well, she’s still dumb! Because what other girl wouldn’t like you? I like you!"

"You do?" He whispered almost breathless, too stunned to say anything else as soon as he processed your words; the corners of his lips curved up in a genuine and shy smile, yet you barely saw it since you looked down and bent you body forward to pick up a box with decorations and left him standing there. Your face was burning so hot with embarrassment it almost felt like you were going to combust. "Y/N, hang on, let’s talk it out—“ He tried to go after you, but you walked past the counter and entered the women’s bathroom, closing the door behind you. You dropped the box on the counter by the sink and looked at yourself in the mirror, cursing under your breath ad at yourself for being so careless with your words.

“Wait, hold on…” One of your friends, Hana, laughed at you on the phone for the second time that night, after you explained to her what happened at the coffee shop.

“I swear to God, Hana, there’s nothing to laugh about.” You mumbled, holding your phone against your ear with you shoulder; your hands were too busy going through the clothes in your wardrobe, searching for anything remotely cute and appropriate for a blind date.

“There actually is,” she continued laughing at your misery. “You confessed to Baekhyun that you actually like him, that’s a good thing isn’t it? I mean, he didn’t have a bad reaction, so where’s the problem, Y/N?” You groaned as you threw a pair of torn up jeans on the floor of your bedroom and took your phone in your hands.

“That’s the point, I chickened out!” You walked to the foot of the bed and let yourself fall on your back, bouncing on the mattress. “He tried to talk to me about it but I just couldn’t do it, so I locked myself in the bathroom. I’m the clown of the month!”

“Oh my God, Y/N, you’re unbelievable.” Hana’s laughter rung in your ear with disbelief for the situation you got yourself into, but soon quieted down to a serious tone. “Listen, you have to face him at some point. You can’t just avoid him forever.”

You sat up on the bed and thought about what she said, your eyes burning holes into the door leading to the living room of your shared apartment. Baekhyun wasn’t home yet, he was still setting up decorations at the bar with Minseok and going over December’s inventory. “What about this girl he said he likes?” A pout formed on your lips, like a child whining to their parent.

“You won’t know until you talk to him.” You sighed out loud and eyed the mess on your bedroom floor, clothes lying on top of each other as if your wardrobe got stormed by a hurricane. “Earth to Y/N, are you there? Promise you’ll talk to him?”

You snapped out of your daze and rubbed your eyes as you replied to her. “Yeah, sure, I’ll talk to him,” you replied in defeat. “But it’ll have to wait until after this stupid blind date. It’s tonight and I don’t even know what to wear…” You heard a noise come from the living room and gasped out loud, jiggling of keys made you jump on your feat and run towards the door until you pressed your side against it. “He’s here, I gotta go. Bye Hana!” You whispered with your heart drumming in your chest and said goodbye to your friend, before hanging up the call. “Baekhyun?” You carefully called out his name and waited impatiently for a reply.

His muffled voice came from the other side of the door, and as careful as you had been, he called out your name. “Are you okay? Can I come in?” He was right outside of your bedroom, your nerves were killing you and you didn’t know what to do, yet against your better judgement, you moved away from the door and opened it. You bit your tongue as you met Baekhyun’s reassuring smile, somehow eliciting a smile from your lips as well. Seeing as you had not replied to his questions, Baekhyun let his eyes look past you and onto the pile of clothing on the floor. “Getting ready for the blind date?”

You looked in the same direction his pupils did and chuckled with a slow nod. “Yeah, I just don’t know what to wear yet…”

“Don’t worry, you’ll look beautiful no matter what you choose to wear.” The sweetness of his words made you hyper aware of the way he was looking at you now, and you weren’t sure why it seemed… different.

“Thank you…” You almost stuttered. Your heart was ramming against your ribcage so hard you could have passed out from the lightheadedness it caused you, but you forced yourself to break the eye contact and walked further inside your bedroom. You picked up two dresses from the wardrobe, one filled with cute floral patterns and the other was a solid dark blue color. “Which one looks better for a fancy dinner?” You asked him, unsure whether it was a good idea but Baekhyun actually pointed at the dark blue dress with a cheerful smile. It was weird to say the least, he appeared to be more excited for your blind date than you were, and you didn’t even know who Chanyeol was trying to set you up with. “Okay, this dress it is then.”

“By the way, I need to go out in a bit.” Baekhyun caught you off guard and you just stared at him with slightly widened eyed. “Is there anything that you need before I leave?”

“Mmmh, no… No.” You show your head and flashed him a reassuring smile even though you were still nervous. “I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, see you later, Y/N.” He reached out for the handle and closed the door after himself.

As soon as you heard the lock click, you exhaled a long, shaky breath and dropped the dresses on the bed. “And there he goes…” You whispered, choosing to replace the deafening silence with some music from your phone.

Baekhyun stood in the hallways while holding onto his breath, ears listening to you shuffling around your bedroom before any other sound was drowned out by you favorite playlist. He had been dreading this blind date for so many days and now that it was happening — especially after he found out he was the person you liked and not some other guy — Baekhyun felt elated. He was ready to get dressed and run out of the door to get you flowers, unfortunately not your favorite ones because they were out of season, but he was still gonna get something pretty. He couldn’t stop thinking about how you were going to react once you met him at the restaurant as your date. Too much energy was coursing through his veins in that moment, he could barely contain himself.

Everything was perfect. Baekhyun had to remember to thank Chanyeol for taking care of the reservation, the restaurant was truly lovely and felt intimate, soft fairy lights were hanging from the red brick walls, adding to the romantic atmosphere of slightly dimmed lighting, a small candle was illuminating the table at which Baekhyun sat. A bouquet of pink and white chrysanthemums rested on his right side as he, on the other hand, couldn’t help but nervously fiddle with his fingers under the tablecloth. A shy smile graced his joyful expression while his eyes darted to the watch on his left wrist, growing restless as you were late to your date.

Baekhyun’s smile faltered when he felt his phone vibrating in the pocket of his elegant blazer, he shut his eyes tightly and prayed that it wasn’t Chanyeol the one calling him with bad news, saying you stood up on the blind date at the last possible moment. You wouldn’t do that, would you? “Hello?” He answered his phone still keeping his eyes shut, but they immediately shot open once he heard your voice greet him on the other side of the line. “Y/N? What’s wrong? Where are you? Shouldn’t you be at the date?” He showered you with questions to which you didn’t know what to answer.

“Uuh—“ You hesitated for a long moment, unsure of what to say. “I’m outside of the restaurant, I’ve been for the past 5 minutes. I don’t want to go inside and meet some guy that I don’t know.” He listened to you talk really fast, almost tripping on your words as your tone dripped with nervousness and regret. “I just don’t want to meet a new guy and I’m so sorry to Chanyeol, cause I said I would do this—”

“Hey, hey, calm down,” He tried to help you calm down over the phone, resisting the urge to just stand up from the table and run to meet you outside. “Everything’s gonna be alright, okay? Do you trust me?”

Baekhyun listened to you on the other side of the line as you tried to get through your panicked state, quietly repeating short and reassuring “okays”. You released a deep breath and finally replied to him. “I trust you. Will you come pick me up, please?”

He almost chuckled at the softness of your voice, instead a warm smile returned on his face as he told you what to do. “I will, but first I need you to walk into the restaurant, it’s cold outside and you’re wearing a dress.” You agreed to do it and his eyes quickly moved towards the door, as he was sat on the opposite side of the restaurant.

Baekhyun watched as the door opened and you stepped inside, brows furrowed with worry yet you still managed to look effortlessly beautiful; long black coat shielding your body from the cold of the last weeks of autumn. He could see the dark blue of your knee length dress peeking under the coat, a small purse swaying by your side from a long chain on your left shoulder as you glanced around and were greeted by a waiter. “I’m in.” You mumbled as your eyes looked frantically around.

“Look to your right, other side of the room.” And you did, you looked towards him and nearly dropped your phone, your jaw went numb for a moment as your lips parted in disbelief. One of the waiters helped you remove your coat and accompanied you towards Baekhyun, to your table. “You’re beautiful,” the words rolled off his tongue almost like a foreign sound, he couldn’t believe that you two were actually on a date, even if he had to keep it a secret for such a long time.

You were at a loss for words, yet your chest was flooded with immense happiness. “The girl you like a lot…” You began saying and he nodded before you could finish your sentence. “A very nice guy, a bit talkative and playful,” you giggled as you quoted Chanyeol’s words when he spoke about the friend he wanted you to meet.

“Yep, that would be me.” Baekhyun picked up the flowers and slowly stepped closer to you. “I know they’re not daffodils, but I hope you like chrysanthemums too.”

“You know what I like more than flowers?” You stepped even closer to him until you could feel his hot breath on your skin, completely forgetting the rest of the world as you felt a rush of bravery while gazing into his eyes. “You.”

When Baekhyun leaned forward to steal a kiss it felt like the most natural thing in the world, as if he had done it so many times before and you were out tonight celebrating an anniversary rather than a first date. The gentlest of touches left a lingering sensation of his lips on yours. The red of your lipstick transferred slightly on his lips and if you focused hard enough, you could see that his cheeks turned the same shade out of shyness and adoration.

“Hmm, what do you think?” You asked, tilting your head to the side while staring very hard at the Christmas tree.

You were currently in your new apartment with Baekhyun standing by your side, eyes focused ahead of you. “It’s crooked on one side.” The living room was bare of furniture except for a coffee table, the tv stand with the television on top of it and the Christmas tree you spent at least three hours on decorating with your boyfriend. Moving boxes were scattered all around the place.

“I think if we spin it around towards the corner of the room none of the guests will notice.” You suggested and Baekhyun hoped quickly towards the tree, being careful to avoid any boxes and discarded ornaments still lying on the floor. He crouched on his kneed and wrapped his fingers around the base of the fake pine tree, rotating the crooked side towards the corner of the room.

“What about now?” He asked as he looked up at the tree for a moment and back at you.

“Light it up.” Baekhyun took the end of a cable beneath the branches of the tree and struggled to plug it into the wall for a moment, making you giggle, but as soon as the tree was lit up, he stood up and walked back to stand by you. “Now it’s perfect!” You beamed while he wrapped one of his arms around your shoulders and brought you closer to kiss your cheek.

“Merry Christmas, baby,” Baekhyun whispered in your ear, your smile became bigger and brighter when you looked into his loving eyes.

You pecked his lips with a soft kiss and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Merry Christmas to you too, Baek—”

You didn’t even have time to finish saying his name because all of a sudden he snaked his arms around your waist, making you screech in surprise when he tried to lift you up from the floor and yelled at the top of his lungs: “To the bedroom, now!”

Loud giggles escaped you as you struggled to stay serious, but it was impossible when he was in a playful mood like this. “But we don’t have a bed frame yet—“

“We have a mattress and that’s enough for me!”

[fishmongeringstudies]

the year i turned twenty i stopped waiting for someone to save my life and started eating more vegetables

in the winter of 2018 i got a root canal done on the molar in the upper left-hand corner of my mouth. it had been on the verge of death for a while now; two years prior to that a visiting government-sponsored school dentist had taken a look at it, frowned, and then spent the next two hours wheedling all the rot out of that tiny black hole with a drill. unfortunately the solution he imposed was both extremely painful and temporary, and so two years after the initial incident i found myself once again at the dentist's (this time at a clinic; school dentists don't like to deal with the extra-gritty stuff and are not paid enough to do so). they stuck a needle in my gum, numbed three-quarters of my mouth, then drilled a hole through the center of my tooth and ripped the withering shred of nerve-tissue right out of it.

my dentist helpfully explained all of the above to me during our consultation session in the same office in which he would rip the top half of my tooth off a week later. he was a balding, smiling man whose speech did not, unlike many medical professionals i had met over the years, have an edge of condescension to it. i liked him. i would have liked him more were he not planning to essentially castrated my tooth.

several weeks later i went to another dentist who specialized in helping people in post-root canal limbo, and she stuck a shiny metal crown on what was left of my molar. we then scheduled a series of check-ups to ensure that the crown had not flown off its liege while i attacked an ice cube or something similarly bad for my teeth and mental health, which stretched on for so long that she became, more or less, my primary dental care physician. at first the check-ups were a month apart. then two. time passed. her hair grew longer and our conversations less awkward; she was beautiful and snarky and looked like she would shoot god without hesitation if he stepped into range of her gun. she wore her hair short, red tinged with gold, in a pixie-cut that fell over half of one eye. for a while i thought i was in love with her.

'do you floss?' she asked me on my second check-up.

'no,' i said.

'well.' she broke off a length of dental floss and began to wind it around her fingers. it looked like a death threat and she looked ready to kill, though her eyes were smiling. 'you should.'

for the first year after having an utterly destroyed tooth brought back from the brink of death via a grisly temporary solution that would, at best, buy me one or two decades of peace, i didn't. i didn't floss because when she did it for me in her tiny examination room my gums bled so much it took hours for me to wash the bitter taste of iron out of my mouth. blood is a nice concept and a nicer motif in writing. but it smells awful, and it's worst on the tongue. so i didn't floss my teeth, and i went through life with the kind of casual detached disinterest with which i had approached most things up until then. at my next check-up she asked once again if i had been flossing and i lied that i had. after poking and prodding around in my mouth for a few minutes and taking a scan for good measure she gave me a look and said dryly, 'you haven't been flossing at all, have you.'

disappointing your parents, your favorite high school english teacher, or even your best friend is nothing compared to the sheer embarrassment that comes from knowing your beautiful dentist asked you to do the bare minimum, and you failed to deliver. her voice was arid but we had known each other for long enough by then for me to detect a thin undercurrent of disappointment. i had done it. i had lost the support of the only person in my life who could be counted on to support me. because i paid her for her services. and she was also very funny in a quiet sarcastic way. and she was beautiful.

having had my ego wounded beyond description i resolved to floss from then on and succeeded in dragging my poor aching gums past the bleeding stage to a point where they were merely post-workout sore. then i lost interest and forgot about the white, sterile-smelling clinic that was a fifteen minutes' drive from my house and the little pack of dental floss on the bathroom counter faded into obscurity. two weeks before my next appointment in 2020, an alarm on my phone went off to inform me of the approaching day of judgment. i panicked.

'have you been flossing?' my dentist asked as i lay back in the faded green chair and she put on a pair of new gloves.

'yeah,' i said.

five minutes later, she removed her army of dentistry equipment from my mouth with a satisfied hum. 'i see that you have.' her eyes were smiling. 'your teeth look fine. i'll just clean them a little for you.'

i celebrated impressing my favorite dentistry professional in singapore by forgetting to floss for the next two months. soon after that i got on a plane to america, and then two more for good measure in case i hadn't grown sick of sitting and burning in my own skin already, and then twelve weeks of insanity ensued, the details of which we are surely all acquainted with by now. late nights, walks in the forest, afternoons spent in the sun. mismatched footsteps and strange acquaintances. an elaborate circus act staffed entirely by misguided but well-meaning teenagers. a ring of fire.

two weeks ago i bought a box of dental floss for ninety-nine cents. i think this might be what the anthropologists call 'adulthood'. i was at target with a friend and we were getting toothpaste, which we had both nearly run out of, when i saw the little flat box of dental floss hanging from a hook on the wall. my teeth weren't particularly disgusting (they haven't been, not since i learned how to brush them properly), but they weren't beautiful. it had been a while since i had been on my own mind. for the last three months, others' pain had been my main priority, and now that we had eliminated most of them from the picture, i found myself with more time in the mornings to stare at myself in the mirror and wonder how, exactly, i was doing.

how are you doing? i asked. and the answer was i felt like shit.

while i've stayed in dormitories before for extended periods of time i always got out of doing laundry by either submitting my dirty clothes to an on-campus service which disappeared them into a hole in the fabric of reality and returned them to you a day later, cleaned and folded outside your room so the first time i did laundry by myself in america, a week after arriving on campus, i felt invincible. buying an iced chai from the cafe on a thursday morning and then settling down to work on my laptop until my first class started at noon, i felt like a character in a career advisory ad, like someone who knew where they were going and how they were going to get there. standing in front of the bathroom mirror of my summer dorm, winding a strand of dental floss around my fingers, i felt like i had aged fifteen years in the span of just one, and that just this once, it was for the better.

according to my adult friends, no one ever fully feels or recognizes that they are an adult. adulthood is an ideal that all grown children strive towards the way body-builders aim for more and more muscle mass until there's nothing left of them but a pair of well-toned biceps. there are several industry-approved ways to be an adult, but there are no suggested ways to feel like one. this is part of the gaping maw of inadequacy our generation has fallen into. this afternoon i melted butter in a pan and beat two eggs, milk, salt, and garlic powder together in a bowl. pouring the egg mixture into the pan i began to scrape the edges frantically towards the center with a spatula. the whole process took no longer than two or three minutes. by the end of it my hand was shaking.

according to my adult friends you just wake up one day and start looking for ways to re-organize your pantry and that's when you realize: i'm getting old, aren't i? and i'm getting old, aren't i? twenty's just the start of what a friend recently told me her parents refer to as 'the decade of pain'. but the beginning of something is included in the timeline of its accomplishments, too, and it takes more blind faith to start something than we give ourselves credit for. i have never used a saucepan up until today. in my younger years i often boiled broccoli or cauliflower in a small pot over an electric stove. but the butter, the eggs, the smell of fat sizzling on a pan- this is new to me. this entire life is new to me.

leaving the familiar warmth of your family home, it suddenly occurs to you how fragile life is. how everything your mother has done for you until now has kept you on the path forward, and now you have been given the keys to the basement you have to remember to buy laundry detergent before you run out. it all comes together like this: the humming laundry machines, the hand towels, the fridge full of fruit and cheese. it keeps you alive.

and it's awful. our generation doesn't know what self-care is because we're too busy trying to care for a world which tries, time and again, to kick us off the carousel of life and move on without its ephemeral teenage charges. we are bad at this 'living' thing because we often forget that we are alive at all. look out the window and the world's burning. look into the kitchen, and- quiet. this past year has done nothing to improve the paintings on the wall. we've all known hopelessness. we've all known what it's like to wake up and feel nothing at all.

and yet my flatmate has a new york times cooking subscription that she says we're welcome to borrow if we want to look up a recipe for something like paella, brownies, whatever. the other day she made shrimp scampi and when she knocked on my door and said 'i made food, if you'd like some' i remember thinking living with other people was worth it if you could sit around a table and twirl pasta noodles around your fork in silence. tomorrow i think i'll go to target again and see if i can find more acai. i miss it. i miss singapore's overpriced acai places and their stupid too-high chairs.

and i am living life clumsily, but who cares? a life is a life; all you have to do is live it. the rest can come later, after the dust has settled on the windowsill.

06.09.21

[dalamjisung]

nothing complicated ✾ jeon jungkook

word count: 5418

genre: fluff, neighbors!AU

pairing: reader x Jeon Jungkook

description: you just moved in and Jungkook really makes you feel welcome.

Moving is never easy. There is always too much to do in too little time; boxing, carrying, building, settling. Thankfully, you aren’t alone, and your best friend– now your flatmate– is there to help you. She works on organizing the kitchen as you focus on building the shelves; she changes the old lamps for new ones as you put your room together; she works on her room and you clean the bathroom– like this, you two finish the whole place in a week. It is only once you two sit down on your new couch to watch a movie that it hits you: you’re home. 

“What are you feeling like today?” Your friend asks. “The Greek place around the corner is doing delivery, if you’re into that… or we can order from that same Korean place? The one we had last week?”

You groan, frustrated with your own stupidity.

“Why didn’t we buy pans yet?” You ask, sighing. It’s been a week of delivery and you are not sure how much longer you can put up with this. “At this point, I don’t want to eat at all…”

“I know, babes,” She says. “But they arrive tomorrow, so choose something delicious today cause that’s the last delivery we’ll order for a while.”

“Hm,” You try to remember all the options. “How about that Italian place? The one a few blocks away? I think they deliver here.”

“Perfect,” She taps away on her phone, excited to make the order after another day of hard work in the apartment. Everything was spot clean now, and you feel as exhausted as she does, after having to deal with your landlord about the broken boiler. “I just want to sit outside and enjoy the cold afternoon weather as much as we can… God knows tomorrow might be radioactively hot again.”

Laughing, she orders the food and helps you bring everything to the terrace you two fought so hard to have; an outside space is a must, she said as the apartment hunting continued, arguing that her dog needed a place to feel more comfortable around the house, but you knew it was just an excuse to be able to have a cute hang out spot that is not the living room. You agreed, though, and now there you are– sitting on your wooden furniture with fairy light that don’t do much besides upping the electricity bill. You love it, though; the wind dries your recently washed hair and makes you shiver, and you smile. 

You’re home. 

Home is peaceful, you can’t help but notice. The first floor seems to be empty, as you haven’t heard a single thing ever since you moved in a week ago; and the floor above you is where two women live– they came over to introduce themselves and invite you and your friend for a bottle of wine. The house to your right, one which you can see their garden from the left end of your terrace, is where a family lives, their six-year-old daughter, Lucy, having already gotten acquainted with Koya, your house dog. 

“Wine or beer?” She shouts from the kitchen, and before you can answer, someone does it for you.

“Beer!”

Your eyes go wide, and your friend comes back running, beers in hand and mouth agape.  

“That was definitely not you,” She whispers, shocked. 

“Nope,” You chuckle, still confused. Clearing your throat, you call out a bit louder. “Hello?”

“Hello!”

“Who- Who is this?” You laugh, getting up and walking to the metal railing that offers protection on the edge of the terrace. 

“Your downstairs neighbor!” You look down, eyes on the wide outside space they have thanks to living on the ground floor, and a boy walks out of the house, next to the beaten down ping pong table they have out there. “Hi! My name is Taehyung!”

“Oh!” You look at your friend, asking with your eyes if she’s seeing the incredibly attractive boy too or are your dreaming? “Hello there! I’m Y/N, and this is my friend, Sora!”

“Hi!” She beams, a very recognizable flirting smile on her face. “Nice to meet you.”

“Very nice,” Taehyung winks and smirks. “When did you guys move?”

And just like that the afternoon wheezes by. At some point you recognize you are slightly tipsy, Sora is drunk, and Taehyung managed to get his hands on a six-pack in his kitchen. Never did you two cross the staircase to go downstairs, as much as he tried to get you two to make him company while his two flatmates are away; the distance in between your small terrace and his wide garden seems to offer you just the right amount of security to boost your confidence.

Just as Sora is laughing at yet another joke, you all hear the door slamming, and suddenly someone is loudly belting to Blackbear.

“Fuck you, and you, and you,” You snort, recognizing the song instantly. “I hate your friends and they hate me too!”

“Uh,” Taehyung laughs, a bit embarrassed. “Jungkook?”

“I’m through, I’m through, I’m through,” He continues, and you can’t help but laugh to your heart’s content. “This that hot girl bummer anthem, turn it up and throw a tantrum!”

“Ya, Jeon Jungkook!” Taehyung shouts, blushing intensely. “Watch your language, dude!”

“What?” The voice calls from inside. “I can’t hear you, hyung.”

“Watch your motherfucking language!” Taehyung shouts back, clearly frustrated. “You’re gonna make a bad impression with the new neighbors!”

“Oh, no,” You wave your hand, enjoying the show. “Please don’t stop on our account. We love a good show.”

“Neighbors?” Another voice asks, and soon you see another guy coming out. As soon as he spots you he is smiling, and you feel like you could melt with house sweet he looks. “Ah, hello girls!”

“This is Jimin,” Tae explains, rolling his eyes. “And the idiot that now is too embarrassed to come out is Jungkook.”

“Nice to meet you all,” Sora shouts so that Jungkook can hear too.

“Same here,” Jimin says, sitting down and opening a bottle. “So, where were we?”

The night ends with the four of you going to buy some more beer at the nearby convenience store. You don’t miss the curious eyes looking at you two through the window, though, shooting him a kind smile and hoping that one day you’ll be able to tell him you absolutely love Blackbear. 

                                                               ——————————

Almost a month passes before you get to finally meet Jungkook. You are on your way out to go to the gym you’ve been attending ever since moving– a boxing gym about thirty minutes away,– when you remember you forgot your keys. Going back would make you late for your training session, but there is nothing you can do and you start running back the same way you came from, until you spot him locking the door, and before you can back out, you poke his shoulder, breathing harsh and fast. 

“Excuse me,” You smile, trying your best not to startle him. “Jungkook, right?”

His eyes, still wide and so, so kind looking, focus on you and he just nods, slowly pulling his large headset down. “Yeah…”

“Oh thank god,” You mumble, and you are sure he heard you. “Stupid me forgot my keys inside and I’m already running late so could you maybe–“

“Oh!” He shouts, a little too suddenly, and you jump a bit. “Yeah, of course! Go ahead!”

He opens the door for you and you run up to your apartment, banging on the door with no avail; after a couple of minutes, you remember that Sora left for a date and wouldn’t be back for a while. You walk back down, defeated and accepting that you would be late and locked out. 

“Is everything alright?”

Your head snaps to your left, where Jungkook is leaning on the wall, waiting for you.

“Oh, yeah,” You smile. “My friend is not in, so I’m just going to have to wait when I come back…”

“Where are you going?” He squints his eyes at your tote bag, where the end of your boxing gloves are peeking out. 

“Uh… there is a boxing gym nearby I go a few times a week,” You scratch your head, suddenly embarrassed.

“The one next to the main road?” He asks, pointing to its general direction.

“You know the place?” You ask looking up at him, and that’s when you realize you two started walking together. 

“I’m going there right now,” He smiles and oh god, his smile. His teeth show and his cheeks puff in a way that reminds you of a bunny. “I train there too. I can just wait for you to be done and we come back together, this way you at least wait for your friend inside.”

“That’d be great, to be honest,” You smile, relieved. “Thank you so much, Jungkook.”

“No problem, Y/N,” He chuckles at your surprised face. “Jimin told me you guys’ names… I’m sorry, by the way, about that day.”

This was your chance. “No problem, I love Blackbear.”

His cheeks grow redder and redder, but the smile stays. “Well, I’m sorry anyways. I didn’t even go outside to say hi…”

“Ah,” You frown, pretending to be stern. “Yes, you should be very apologetic about that.”

He looks at you with a mix of suspicion and humor. “Oh, really?”

“Absolutely,” You nod. 

“How can I be forgiven?” He follows along. 

“Uhm…” You tap your finger on your finger, thinking. “Only one way.”

“Tell me,” He dramatizes. “I’d do anything.”

“Coffee,” You say, looking at him. Goddammit those eyes…

“Coffee?” He chuckles, and you shiver. 

“Coffee.”

“Alright then,” He shrugs, laughing to himself. “Coffee it is.”

The walk seems shorter today, Jungkook proving himself to be a much more enjoyable company then your usual iTunes playlist. He tells you the neighborhood gossip, joking about your landlord’s wife trying to steal Koya away since she’s obsessed with dogs. You learn that he is a Game Designer, working with your favorite company; he sings on his spare time, but you already knew that, always hearing him through your thin bathroom walls. And he apparently boxes, enjoying the strength that the physical activity gives him. 

“What about you?”

And now it’s your turn to tell him all about you; how you are pursuing your masters on Social and Cultural Psychology, a subject most people don’t pay the proper attention to, and how you’ve just started playing Zelda: Breath of the Wild, which is, coincidently, produced by his main competitor.

“I can’t believe this,” Jungkook groans once you compliment the game’s graphics. “This is treason!”

“I’m sorry,” You laugh. “But it’s so good!”

“Ours is better,” He says pointedly. “And I’ll prove it.”

“How?”

“You’ll see,” He says mysteriously, and you leave it at that, already arriving at the gym. 

Saying your temporary farewell, you walk into the ring, apologizing to your trainer profusely. The session is weird, today; your eyes focused on your trainer, but mind wandering to the lone boy at the punching bag. 

“Come on, Y/N, focus!” Your trainer shouts, and you are back at punching, and punching, and punching until. “Time!”

You collapse on the floor, body exhausted; however you still hear the adorable chuckle echoing in the empty gym. 

“Are you ready to go?” You turn your head to the side and see Jungkook smiling. “I can wait a bit more if you’re still finishing–“

“We’re done,” You decree, sending your trainer a pointed look. “I’m dead. You might have to carry my home.”

His nose crinkles with his wide smile. “No way, you are sweaty.”

“You’re not much better,” You deadpan. “Give me five seconds to get my jacket and we’ll go.”

“Y/N,” The trainer calls back. “I really can’t convince you?”

“No way,” You laugh, putting the jacket on even though your body feels like it’s melting. “Not my thing, Coach. But thanks for the consideration.”

“Huh?” Jungkook looks at you with inquiring eyes. 

“Can’t convince this girl to go competitive,” Coach laughs, shaking his head in disappointment. “She got here a month ago, but we all really think she has potential.”

You shake your head again. “Thank Coach, but no thanks.”

“Are you sure?” Jungkook asks, once you are walking back home. “It’s a huge opportunity!”

“Yeah, but it would also demand a lot of my time,” You shrug. “With getting my Masters and trying to find a job, I don’t think I’d have the time or energy to try and go pro.”

He nods, understanding. “I get that. Good thing you found time to just train and enjoy it, then.”

“Yeah, specially since now the company just got better,” You wink, making him blush.

You check your phone once you two are close to the building but there’s still no news from Sora. You groan, desperately wanting to shower. 

“Is she home?” Jungkook asks, already knowing the answer considering your frustrated reaction. 

“No… and I don’t think she’s coming home anytime soon,” You mumble, sighing. “I’ll just wait outside my door. The carpet seems comfortable.”

Jungkook scoffs. “No way, you’re waiting inside. You must be dying to shower… I can lend you some clothes and you can use my bathroom.”

“Oh, I don’t want to–“

“Come on, Y/N,” He jokingly elbows you. “I’m trying to be a good neighbor.”

“When you put it like that,” You roll your eyes. “I can’t say no, now, can I?”

“Never,” He opens the door and walks to his apartment. “After you, ma’am.”

It feels weird to not just walk up the stairs to your floor, but you also enjoy the excitement rushing through your veins; you’ve crossed the imaginary line of your terrace… would that be okay?

“Y/N!” Jimin shouts happily from the kitchen. “What’s up?”

“Hey Jimin,” You wave and allow yourself to be pulled by your hood to Jungkook’s room. “Got locked out after the gym and Jung–“

“She’s showering in my bathroom, no one goes in there,” Jungkook basically growls at his flatmates. “I’ll come help with dinner while she does her thing.”

“We were thinking of ordering today, actually,” Tae says from his spot on the couch. “You like pepperoni pizza, Y/N?”

“Love it,” You smile. “I’m down.”

“Perfect,” Jungkook says, still pulling you. “Now go shower, you smell.”

You give him the finger. “You smell, too, you know?”

“I’m very much aware,” He laughs. “I’ll shower in Jimin hyung’s bathroom.”

He picks up a pair of sweatpants and a shirt, shoving them towards you and leaving the room. It’s only when the door closes that you allow yourself some time to look around, noticing how similar his room is to yours; blue bedsheets and pillows, a large, two screen computer with, and you’ve guessed this before, a classic gamer chair in the corner. Some trophies stand in a shelf and you smile at a younger picture of him, wearing a black taekwondo belt and holding a medal. Making some mental reminders, you go to the bathroom, basking under the warm water softening your tired muscles. 

You wash your hair and smile, noticing how everything smells like him. Shampoo, conditioner, clothes. It takes over your sense and you close your eyes, summoning the cute smile and kind eyes. Almost like magic, and just as you raised the color of his t-shirt away from your neck and to your nose, the door opens and Jungkook looks at you.

“Ready?” You nod, pretending nothing happened while wanting to bury yourself six feet under. “Pizza’s already here– didn’t want you taking too long and risking Taehyung hyung eating all of it.”

“He wouldn’t!” You gasp, following him to the living room.

“Oh he would,” Jungkook scoffs. “Actually, he did! Many times before.”

“But I’m special,” You joke. “He wouldn’t do that to me.”

“You are 100% right,” Tae catches on. “I will always wait for you, Y/N.”

Rolling his eyes, Jungkook sits next to his flatmate and pulls you down next to him, and you have to wonder what is up with this boy and pulling you places. He gives you a slice and digs in after you start eating, always eyeing the other boys to make sure they leave you at least another slice. You all have fun, but you start to grow anxious as Jimin goes to sleep, and Taehyung follows. It’s getting late and all that Sora sent you was a wink face, and from that you had many, many interpretations to follow. 

“Okay,” Jungkook sighs, getting up. “Are you ready?”

“W-what?” You look at him, furrowing your brows. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I asked if you are ready, Y/N?” 

“Uh, I think so? Sora is not coming home, I think, but if you want to go to sleep I can wait in the hallway and–“

“What? No, you’re sleeping over,” He waves his hand as if that had been already settled. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”

“What are you talking about then?”

He moves towards the TV, clicking some buttons and opening some drawers. He comes back with a pile of game boxes. “Chose one.”

“Are these–“

“Yes,” He says and there is determination in his voice. “Now choose one and let’s do this shit.”

“Oh, I’m ready.”

The night is not long enough for the two of you. Game after game, Jungkook keeps his promise– his games are better. The graphics, the storyline, the worlds; everything. 

“This one was the best,” You gush, dropping the control with a yawn. It’s now six in the morning and you two have not taken a break since you started. “It’s my new favorite, 100%. Where can I buy it, Kook?”

The nickname comes out naturally and you two smile at it; he leans forward, grabbing the disk from his console and puts it back in the box, giving it to you without hesitation.

“This is my game,” He smiles. “They are all from my company, but this is my game. I pitched it, and it was my first project of many. I’m glad you liked it, Y/N. You can have it.”

“Wha- No!” You push it away. “You need to keep it!”

“I can just get another copy from the office,” He shrugs. “Keep this one. You can play again anytime.”

“Thank, Kook,” You whisper, truly touched with his actions. “Really, thank you for everything.”

“Nah,” He chuckles. “It’s nothing.” “Don’t say that,” You frown. 

Does he know? Doesn’t it show?How much this means to me?

                                                              ——————————

Waking up is not as graceful as it was falling asleep. You are not sure when you two lay down in the couch, but you wake up barely able to breath and feeling way too hot to be normal. You look at the man laying behind you with his heavy arm and leg tossed over you and huff, trying to move away from him, but turns out Jungkook is a cuddler.

“Just roll away,” Taehyung says, walking straight to the kitchen. “He does that in his sleep, so it’s easier to just roll away.”

The loud thud is not enough to wake your friend and you are thankful, wishing he’d sleep as much as he can, considering it’s the weekend. 

“Good morning,” You say, trying to pretend nothing’s happened.

“Nu-uh,” Taehyung smiles cheekily. “Not how I roll. What’s happening there, huh?”

“Nothing,” You roll your eyes. “We spent the whole night playing games and fell asleep. You said it yourself, he does that in his sleep.”

“Yeah, he does,” Tae shrug. “But I saw the way you two clicked… Jungkook is a really shy kid, you know? He doesn’t open up easily, not like that.”

“I’m sure he’s just trying to be nice,” You smile but it comes out forced. You really want to believe Taehyung’s words, but you literally met Jungkook less than 24 hours ago. “Have you heard Sora come back?”

“I’ll tell you if you give me her number,” Tae offers you his best boxy smile. “Your friend is… something else.”

“Believe me, I know,” You don’t even hesitate, pulling your phone out and texting him her contact. “She thinks you’re hot, by the way.”

“Wow,” His eyes are wide. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I’m helping a friend out,” You roll your eyes. “You like her, she likes you; there’s nothing complicated there. Just know that if you hurt her, I’ll murder you in your sleep.” You finish off with a bright smile.

“Well, in that case, let me help you too,” Tae chuckles. “Kookie likes you. Thought you were beautiful the first time he saw you. And Sora got home hours ago.”

“And why are you telling me this?”

“He likes you, you like him,” He repeats, walking away. “Nothing complicated there.”

Mumbling to yourself, you go to your apartment only to be face to face with your flatmate. 

“Now, now,” Sora asks, pretending to not be wearing the same clothes as the day before. “Where were you, young lady?”

“I should be the one asking that question!” You shout. “I got locked out!”

“I told you I was going out,” Sora shrugs. “Now tell me why Taehyung has my number and what happened when you slept over there?”

“Nothing happened, and because he likes you,” You yawn, going straight to your room. 

“That’s not what he said,” She taunts. “He said something about a certain Jungkook liking you?”

“How would he know?” You ask her. “We just met! Yesterday!”

“That’s all it takes and you know it,” She says pointedly. “Or did you forget about he who shall not be named?”

“That’s different,” You frown, suddenly remembering your ex. “In the end, I didn’t know him at all. I don’t want to make the same mistake… you know why.”

“I do,” She sighs. “But not everyone is him. Jungkook is definitely not him… something about Jungkook is much more innocent.”

“I know, I know,” You yawn. “He’s great, but… it’s too soon. I need time. That’s what I came here for.”

“You’ll have as much time as you need,” She promises. “Even if I have to ward Taehyung and Jimin off your case.”

You nod because you trust her. Sora has always and will always be by your side, just like you will be by hers. After you broke-up with your ex, she was the only one that stayed by you, instead of criticizing you for being an inconsiderate asshole. You left him when he needed you the most, people said, but they didn’t even know half of it. He’d always need you, is what you concluded. He was just one of those people that demand too much emotional support that they don’t even know how to give it back; and if you  kept going– if you kept supporting him on your back like it was your duty,– you’d disappear. When you left, you barely knew who you were… and that’s when Sora came into action. She pushed you beyond your limitations and reminded you of everything– how you like spicy food, and how you actually hate the smell of roses, and she reminded you of how much, just how much you love playing video games; all things your ex fought so hard to have you forget. It was the small things, and right now, as you stand proud and happy, those are the things you hang onto the most. 

                                                              ——————————

It takes about a month to finally happen. The kiss, you mean. 

For the next 30 days or so, you and Jungkook proceed to deepen a connection that had been there since day one. It is over games that he tells you about his college experience– not terrible, but not great, he says. He was too shy. Over drinks, you tell him about your ex. Friend chicken late at night is for lighter subjects, like how he met the boys and his other hyungs or how Sora and Taehyung had been ‘sneaking’ around as if no one knows. Things with him are easy, light.

Nothing complicated, Taehyung’s voice echoes in your head just as you sit down in their couch. Tonight is movie night, a tradition established since Taehyung started going upstairs every Thursday to have sex with your flatmate, and since Jimin had work until late hours, Jungkook always invited you over. As per usual, he makes the snacks while you figure the movie out, choosing one of his favorites, as always. You like to see the surprised and excited smile in his face when the title flashes by. 

“What are we watching?” He asks, handing you the Pringles he keeps just for when you’re over. 

“Iron Man,” You say and there it is. The excitement. 

To say you are paying attention to the movie is a lie– all you can do is pretend to watch and laugh at appropriate parts ad your mind wander to what it would be like to kiss Jungkook? For a while you’ve been thinking about it; dreaming about it, even. You woke scared and horny the first time it happened, but after that it became routine. From then on, things that are supposed to be normal and common, like him pushing his hair back, or him boxing in the gym, start to… inspire you. 

“What?” He asks, breaking you from your day dream. 

“Oh,” You shake your head. “Nothing.”

“That’s a lie if I ever heard one,” He snorts, scooting closer to you. “Tell me. You were staring at me pretty intensely, I’m curious.”

“It’s nothing, Kook,” You laugh and you can feel yourself getting nervous by the minute. 

“Lie,” He mumbles, face getting closer and closer. “Are you sweating? Wow, what is it that you’re so nervous about? It’s just me.”

That’s just it, you think, smiling at him. It’s you.

“Jungkook, just leave it,” You push him back and get up. “I’m tired, so I’ll go ahead and go to sleep.”

“What?” His pout almost breaks you. “No, please! I’ll stop interrogating, stay!”

“I’m sleepy,” You whine. “I wanna lay down.”

“You can use my shoulder,” He whines too. “I don’t want to watch the movie alone. I’ve seen this a thousand times already, I wanted to watch you watching it.”

“Watch me?”

“Uh, yeah,” He realizes what he said and startles himself. “I… I just wanted to know if you’d like it.”

“Oh, I love Iron Man,” You explain, watching him get up and go to his room. “I’ve seen it before.”

“Okay.”

After that awkward conversation it’s as if you two are walking on eggshells. He doesn’t joke around as you two brush your teeth, or instantly hugs you when you lay down next to him. He just stares at you.

“Okay, this is weird,” You say, a bit too loudly. “What’s up with you? You’re staring.”

“It’s nothing,” He says, almost mocking you as he acts like you did before. “Leave it.”

“If you say so,” You mumble, ignoring his stiff posture and cuddling closer to him. “Night, Kook.”

And that’s when it happens, his lips on yours, very softly, brushing almost too lightly.

“Good night, Y/N.”

                                                              ——————————

Pretending nothing happened in the morning was impossible. You didn’t even want to, anyways, but Jungkook wouldn’t even allow the thought to brew in your mind. 

He kisses you good morning, waking you up. He has coffee, something he’s been doing for a while now, always buying you coffee whenever he’d think of you, and he also makes you breakfast, eyes trained on you as you stand still in the kitchen, the surprise too much to even move. When you finally get to go home, after many kisses goodbye, you slide down the door, shouting for your friend as soon as you regain a bit of your sanity. 

“He what?”

“Kissed me,” You repeat, not really believing it. “Again, and again, and again. Last night and this morning and right now, before I came up here. And he won’t stop. And I like it. I love it, actually. I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know?” She shouts. “Don’t stop! He obviously likes you! And you obviously like him!”

“Don’t shout!” You whisper, looking at her open window. “They can hear you.” “Y/N,” She sighs, summoning all of her patience to deal with you. “This is not complicated. You’re the one making it so.”

“I know, I know,” You grumble. You are frustrated and Sora knows. “It just feels too easy… like something might go wrong any time now!”

“Maybe you two should talk,” She suggests. “I’ll text Taehyung I’m going down there and for him to send Jungkook over.”

“Don’t you dare!” You shout, leaping for her phone, but she is too quick. 

“Done,” She winks. “You’ll thank me later, babes.”

You have a minute and nothing else before he knocks on your door– it is just enough to put your hair up in a way that didn’t make you look like a crazy woman. 

“You called?” He smiles, moving forward to kiss you, but you stop him.

“Yeah, I think we need to talk,” You say, chuckling in the most awkward way possible. Looking back up at him, you see his smile falter, doubt invading his eyes. “It’s not bad!”

“Doesn’t sound like it,” He is now uncomfortable and you want to punch yourself. You could’ve led it with another phrase… “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah!” You basically shout. “Everything’s a-okay. We just need to talk about it.”

“Why?” He pouts a bit, clearly confused and you can’t help it. You grab him by the cheeks and kiss him, deep and fast. “Wha–“

“Just so that this can keep happening,” You explain, voice airless. He nods and you guide him to your room, sitting him down on your bed while you pace from one side to the other. “Okay. Great. Alright, let’s talk. Let’s do this. We’re good.”

“Are you nervous?” He asks, and you know he’s not teasing. More so he is surprised. “Y/N? Why are you nervous?”

“I like you!” You blurt out, hands wailing around and a grimace on your face. “I actually like you a lot. And I know Taehyung said you like me too, but for some reason I just can’t believe him. But then you kissed me and I start to believe him, and for some reason, something that is supposed to be easy, is super complicated.”

“There’s nothing complicated here,” Jungkook smiles. It’s different this time round, though; his smile is wide and true, and although his cheeks are red with embarrassment and his eye glisten with hope, you can feel just how nervous is. “I like you, you like me. What’s so complicated about this?”

“I don’t know,” You groan. “It feels too easy, Kook! Nothing is ever this easy!”

“Well, everything has a first,” He jokes. “This is easy, Y/N. Let it be easy. Please. I can’t handle complicated.”

“Me neither,” You bite your nails, nervously waiting for something to go wrong. After a couple of minutes, you look back at him. He tries to hold his laughter in, but it comes out anyways. “So this is it?”

“Yeah, this is it,” Jungkook shrugs, opening his arms for you, and you know just what he wants.

“Just like this?”

He nods. “Just like this.”

“Are you–“

“Goddammit woman, just come here.”

The way he kisses you once you jump into his open arms is how you hope to be kissed everyday. He falls back with you on top of him but his arms hold you steady, bringing you closer but leaving enough space so you could swing your legs to both sides of him. This is passionate, you conclude, but the word sounds too robotic to truly describe it. 

Hunger, is more like it. Need. Want.

Want. There it is. This is pure want. Pure wish, and hope, and it is happening. And you meet him halfway, allowing him to feel the want and hope you have accumulated as well.

“Is Sora coming back anytime soon?” He whispers in your ear, mouth making a scorching trail down your throat.

“Doubt it,” You breath out, moaning in sequence as he bites a particularly sensitive spot. “She’s with Tae.”

His eyes shine in a way you’ve never seen before, but it makes you smile. He is right, in the end– this is nothing complicated. 

“Good.”

--------------------------------

and here is our next member of BTS! What’d you think? Let me know! Like, share, comment, help a writer out :) it means the world when you do it ❤️ 

[brianandthemays]

Paper Rings (Ben Hardy x reader)

Hello!!! First of all: Thank you to @queen-irl-af for beta reading and helping me out!! Love ya! Second! I used the song Paper Rings by Taylor Swift as the main inspiration so give it a listen

Third: There will be a second part coming out soonish!!!!!

and as always: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REBLOG, SEND AN ASK, COMMENT, AND LIKE! YOU’RE YOUR FEEDBACK MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME!!!!

Warnings: There is slight smut so 18+ only, please. If I find out you’re underage I will have to block you! Also fluff, angst, and fluff. It’s kinda cute

Word Count: 5.8K

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The house was foggy with smoke. When your friend invited you to this party you didn’t realize that people would basically just be smoking weed the whole time. Now you were stuck sitting in the corner with a drink in your hand, watching as your friend, and ride, climb high enough to cloud nine. You swiped out your phone and groaned when you realized it was dead. Taking the final sip of your drink you stood to pour yourself another one. You grabbed a drink and started to pour when you glanced outside. There was a guy out there, smoking what looked like a cigarette and just looking up at the sky. You grabbed your drink and walked towards him. When you opened the door, he glanced back at you nodding in acknowledgment. You shot him a smile and wrapped your arms around yourself, it was colder than you’d thought I’d be.

           “Cold in’nit,” he commented, bringing his cigarette to his mouth.

           “Yeah.” You shivered and glanced up at the sky. “Moon looks nice.”

He shrugged and blew out some smoke. You gave him a sideways glance before walking over to one of the patio chairs to sit down. The smoke from his cigarette was nauseating but not as bad as the pungent smell of the weed inside. You took a moment to take him in. Up close you could tell he was quite attractive. His eyes were a unique color of green and he had blonde hair with a few curls in it. You could tell he was fit under his clothes and you felt drawn to him.

           “Not your scene?” he asked, nodding inside. You glanced up at him, breaking out of your observation.

You shook your head. “Smoking anything usually makes me sick.”

           “Go home,” he suggested.

           “My ride is high as a kite right now,” you explained with a chuckle. “So, I guess I’m stuck here.” He put out his cigarette and threw it in the trashcan outside. “What about you?”

           “My vice is cigarettes. I’ll get high every now and then but not nearly as often,” he replied. “I’m Ben Jones by the way.”

You looked up at him; he was holding out his hand to you, so you took it. “(Y/N).”

His hand was slightly calloused and brushed your hand the right way, sending a shock down your arm. You swallowed thickly looked at his emerald eyes. He let go and cleared his throat.

           “I’m friends with Rog,” he explained. “My flatmate first year.”

           “Cheryl’s my friend,” you offered. “I think she’s got a thing for Rog.”

           “Is she the chick with blonde highlights?” he questioned looking through the glass door.

You furrowed your eyebrows standing up to stand next to him. There in Roger’s lap was Cheryl practically eating his face off. His hand was on her breast as they swallowed each other and you groaned, officially coming to terms with your fate.

           “That’s her,” you conceded, putting your face in your hands. He laughed and brought a hand to your shoulder in comfort. The shock was back, sending electricity down your back. You looked over at him, a smile on your lips and a lip between your teeth. He licked his lips and smirked at you. Boy, the smirk was really doing something to you. He turned towards you, shortening the distance between the two o fup. 

           “You live far?” he murmured, his breath fanning across your face.Your heart was pounding as you shook your head, staring up at him through your eyelashes and he continued. “Maybe I can take you home.”

You raised an eyebrow and he copied, as if challenging you to resist him. Of course, how could you say no to the magnetic pull that was taking force on you?

           “Please,” you answered, your own playful smirk on your face. “Take me home.”

His smirk turned into a smile and he reached won to grab your hand. You gasped and almost spilt your drink as he tugged you inside.

           “Slow down!” you shouted, trying not to laugh.

           “Shit, sorry,” he apologized, coming to a stop.

You gulped down the rest of your drink and threw your cup onto the counter. “Okay, let’s go.”

The two of you run out of the house to his car. The second you shut your door you reach over and grab his shirt bringing him to your lips. He brought his hand to the back of your head, roughly smashing you further into him.  You bit his bottom lip and pulled back slightly.

           “Take me home.”

The second you got to his house, he had you against the wall. His lips touching every inch of exposed skin. Every kiss left fire in it’s wake and you felt like you would burn down. He pulled back enough to pull your shirt over your head but then immediately latched his lips back to your throat. His hands reached behind your back and unclasped your bra, letting it fall down your arms to the floor.

           “God, you’re so beautiful,” He sighed, pulling back to look at you. You felt so adored under his gaze; the way he looked at you was so adoring it made your breath catch in your throat.

He brought his lips down to your chest, sucking one of your nipples into his mouth. You let a moan out of your mouth tangling your fingers in his hair. You found you hips bucking forward, looking for some kind of friction. Ben slotted a leg between yours allowing you to grind against his thigh as he suckled on your breast. He moved his lips right above your nipples and suck a mark into your skin, causing you to whimper. He pressed one more kiss to it before moving up to kiss your lips again.

           “Please just fuck me,” you groaned against his lips.

He smirked and pulled you away from the wall. “That can be arranged.”

The rest of the night was a blur of pleasure. But the whole time, it felt so different from your other hookups. He was so loving and delicate. Every step of the way making sure you were okay and comfortable. When it was done, he made sure to clean up and take care of you before collapsing next to you.  You laid awake starring at the ceiling, breathless. Who was this guy? Ben… Ben who? You needed to get up and charge your phone so you could get out of here.

You glanced over at the man next to you satisfied that he was truly asleep before getting up and wandering around the room. Next to his bed you found and out lit with a plug in it and plugged your phone in. He mumbled in his sleep on the bed but didn’t stir as you waited for your phone to turn back on. Eventually, it lit up in the dark and you glanced over at Ben to make sure he didn’t wake up. So far you were in the clear. Once your phone loaded up, you went to google maps to see how far your house was. It wasn’t far, the lyft wouldn’t be too much. 

The closest lyft was 10 minutes away, so you had some time. Now, who was this guy? He said his name was Ben… but Ben what? You looked over at him to make sure he was still passed out before crawling to look at his wallet. Broke, not that you were going to take his money. There was his ID. Ben Jones. Ben Jones was the name of the incredibly attractive man snoring loudly on the bed next to you.

Then your phone dinged, letting you know your lyft was close. You felt kinda bad, but you couldn’t stay there. Instead, you wrote a note. Grabbing a pen from his kitchen you scribbled a note on a piece of paper.

           Thanks for the great night, maybe see you around.

                          X (Y/N)

The next morning, you woke up with a headache. You groaned and looked over at the clock; it was noon. You furrowed your eyebrows and put a hand to your forehead. Then in through the door came Cheryl.

           “Where the fuck were you last night?” she screeched, glaring at you.

           “Shut up! Shut up!” you grumbled at her, your head pounding.

She came over to the side of the bed and sat down.

“You ditched me!” she continued loudly. You rolled over and put your pillow on your head to block her out. “Where did you go?”

Then it came back to you. Going outside, leaving with that guy, oh my god. Ben. Ben Jones. The amazingly attractive man you had sex with last night. You sat up and looked over at Cheryl.

           “What?”

           “What do you know about Ben Jones?” you asked hesitantly.

Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped.

           “You didn’t…” she gasped. You buried your face in your hands and she squealed causing you to cringe again.  “Ben Jones? As in rugby playing actor Ben Jones?” You reached over and grabbed your phone, ow at 100%, you opened Instagram. “I almost got with Roger, but he forgot my name. Called me Charlotte or something.”

She kept talking but you tuned her out, looking up “Ben Jones” on Instagram. He popped up quickly, pictures of him playing rugby and ads for shows he was in littered his feed. He was, without a doubt, quite attractive. But there was also something childish in his eyes. A goofy look in his smile. You found yourself smiling to yourself.

           “Are you even listening to me?” Cheryl humphed. You mumbled an apology before throwing off the covers and getting out of bed. “Where are you going?”

           “We’re out of milk!” you called back to her. Really you just had to get out of the house. You had to get some fresh air and call Joe.

           “If you’re going to the store, can you get some cheese too? I need to make my quiche!”

You headed out into the London air. The first thing you did was call Joe. Joe had been your friend since you were little. Your best friend to be exact.

           “Joe!” you shouted when he answered.

           “Dear God, don’t shout into the phone,” he retorted. “What’s going on?”

You told him everything. The party and everything that happened after. The intimate moments with Ben that were delicate and careful. The way his touch sent flames down your spine. Finding out he was a rugby player and, most importantly, how his stupid goofy smile wouldn’t leave your mind.

           “Damn, you’ve been in London for one semester and you’re already fitting in!” he commented.

           “Shut up, totally not the right thing to be focusing on right now!” you hissed. “The problem is I left this morning and now I don’t have any way to find him.”

           “Did you—”

           “Yes, I stalked him on the internet,” you interrupted. “He’s a certified hottie.”

           “Well chica, maybe message him,” Joe suggested.

You cringed, walking into the supermarket. “Not exactly subtle, Joe.”

Joe scoffed over the phone and you made your way to the cheese aisle. Cheryl’s cheese choices were very specific and had to be a certain brand or she’d make you go back, and that was not your ideal day.

           “Are you going for subtly?” he asked. 

You grunted, grabbing the cheese you know she likes before heading to the dairy section. As you turned the corner, and froze, turning right back into the aisle.

           “Joe, omigod, he’s right there,” you growled into the phone. “what do I do?”

Joe laughed loudly and you frowned. “Okay, don’t worry, just don’t give him a cold shoulder, that’ll make your situation even worse. Maybe say something, did he see you?”

You peaked around the corner again and he was still looking at some bottles of wine. Lord, his eyes were almost as green as the wine bottles. You pulled back into the aisle, smiling at an elderly woman as she walked back.

           “I don’t think so,” you told him.

           “Okay here’s what you’re gonna do,” Joe started. “You’re gonna walk up to him and casually tell him that you want him to wreck you every night for the rest of your life.”

           “JOE!” you whisper shouted.

           “Am I wrong?” he defended. “Now go and call me back later.”

Then he hung up and you cursed under your breath. Then you sucked a large breath and walk out of the aisle. You approached him and he looked up. His eyes flashed with recognition, and a smirk started to come over his lips. Flashes of the night before hitting you hard. His lips on your chest, on your stomach, on your thighs, on your... oh lord. And you panicked. And instead of walking towards him, you walked right past him, feeling his eyes follow you past him. You mentally slapped your forehead and turned around, but he was gone.

           “Fuck.”

You didn’t see him again for a few weeks, maybe a month when Cheryl invited you to another party. You were hesitant to go, not wanting a repeat of last time but she wore you down. And again you found yourself standing by yourself in a corner. You took out your phone and you swore it was déjà vu. Your damn phone was almost dead, again.

           “You need a charger?” a deep voice behind offered. You turned and saw him, and those deep eyes. You nodded, suddenly finding your voice gone. “Ah, so you do remember me.”

You scrunched your mouth into a smile. “Ben… right.”

           “That’s right, (Y/N),” he chuckled. The way he said your name sent a shiver down your back. “Thought you might’ve been too drunk to remember.”

You frowned, that was rude. “I had only had one drink,” You defended.

           “Oh, was that rude?” He raised his eyebrows, a playful look in his eyes. “I was confused because I saw you in the supermarket, the next day. And you gave me a cold shoulder.”

Fuck. He had you on a line and you took the bait. He held out a charger to you and you took it, deliberately brushing your fingers against his, trying not to show the effect he was having on you. You turned from him and started searching for a plug.

           “Nothing to say to that?” he prompted, hoping to reel you in.

           “What can I say?” you returned over your shoulder. “Sorry I hurt your feelings.”

He let out a huff of air, smiling at you. Two could play at this game. The only question was who would cave first. But who knew if he’d been thinking about you like you’d been thinking about him? All you could do was hope and pray you didn’t make a fool out of yourself again. You finally found a plug and got your phone charging before turning back to Ben, who had been following you around.

           “What brings you back out to the party?” he asks, leaning against the wall.

You smiled coyly at him. “Something in air, I guess. And you?”

           “Call it intuition,” he replied, a smirk pasted on his face.

God you wanted him. You wanted to feel the same passion you had last time. You wanted to feel his hands roam your body, sending flames spiraling around your body. That couldn’t have been the same feeling you had every time you hooked up with someone. But you couldn’t let it be that easy no matter how much you wanted it. And you could feel his want too, it was practically radiating off of him. But the longer you made him wait, the better it would feel.

           “Wow, great minds… huh,” you quipped.

           “Suppose so,” he answered.

There was silence between you. An eye game. His eyes were darting between your eyes and your lips and your body. Yours stayed put on his eyes, watching him as he looked you over. God you wanted him. His lips were so perfect and you wanted to feel them all over your body.

           “So, do you want to…” He motioned with his hand towards the door. You had him right where you wanted him, and you knew what you had to do, no matter how much your body was telling you to do the opposite.

           “Actually, no… I don’t think so,” you replied simply.

His eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “Oh?”

           “Yeah, I promised Cheryl that I wouldn’t leave this time,” you explained, the smirk not leaving your face.

           “I see… I see…” He raised his hands in submission. And though you could tell he was trying to act nonchalant, there was a hint of disappointment behind his eyes. That made you hesitant but you couldn’t go back now.  “Well, I guess I’ll head out then, see you around?”

           “Maybe,” you lipped, smiling at him.

           “I like maybe…” His green eyes flickered with playfulness, the disappointment leaving slightly. “But let me tell you, I will see you again.”

And with that he was gone, and the second he was, you took a breath for the first time in, what felt like, an hour. It took everything you had not to let him have you again, but you made it. You hoped that he would keep up on his promise and you would see him soon, but you didn’t see him for another month.

You were studying for winter finals at the library. It had been a frustrating study session. You’d been in there all afternoon and still couldn’t wrap your head around the subject. Across from you the chair pulled out and someone sat down. At first you didn’t pay much attention to them but then they slide a muffin and a steamy drink across the table to you. You looked up and it was Ben. Your eyes widened and he smirked.

           “Hi,” you greeted, giving him a small wave.

           “Hey, love, how are you?” he asked, looking down at your book then up at you.

You frowned, pushing the book away. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

He gave you a sympathetic smile before leaning back in his chair. You were more than surprised to see him there. It realized you went to the same school as him, but you’d never run into him before. And he’d spent his money on you.  You pulled the drink and muffin towards yourself.

           “It’s hot chocolate and a chocolate chip muffin,” he told you. “Chocolate always helps me relax so I thought—”

           “No, Ben it’s great, thank you so much,” you replied genuinely.

           “I also heard orgasms help with stress.”

You almost spit out your sip of hot chocolate, getting some drops of your drinks on your notes. You sputtered, trying to think of a reply, desperately cleaning your notes up. But when you looked back up at him he was laughing heartily at you.

           “I’m joking, love,” he chuckled. “Mainly… unless you want to…”

           “Not at the moment,” you growled, a hint of amusement making its way into your voice. “But ask me tomorrow.”

He smiled, his stupid dorky smile when he got something he wanted. He leaned on his forearms, bringing himself closer to you. You continued to look at him as you brought the hot chocolate back to your mouth. You slowly bring your book back to yourself trying to subtly go back to studying.

           “Oh, don’t mind me, I’ll just be here,” he told you, motioning for you to continue studying.

You narrowed your eyes at him, slightly confused as to why he would just want to sit there and watch you study but he looked perfectly happy. So, you continued studying; picking at your muffin and flipping through the pages. Suddenly, things were starting to make sense and you realized, Ben’s presence was calming. He just sat there scrolling on his phone, looking up at you every now and then. But still, he was like a white noise, keeping you focused. Eventually, you felt content with your studying and closed your book.

           “So, what can I do to pay you back for the sustenance?” you asked, grabbing you back to pull out your purse.

“Be my date.” He answered almost immediately. “To Roger’s party this weekend I mean.” Your mouth dropped and you found yourself at a loss for words. “I mean, please? I feel like we always end up together anyway.”

You found yourself in a staring contest with him. You couldn’t deny the want you felt whenever you were around him. It felt like a magnet pulling you towards him and you wanted to be on his arm the whole night. Laughing with him, drinking with him, falling asleep on his arm. So, what was the harm? He was asking you.

           “Okay.”

The day of the party came a lot quicker than you expected. Your finals were over, your bags were packed and all you had left was this party. Not that you weren’t excited to go, you always loved a party and now you had Ben as your so-called ‘date’, so what could go wrong. You just wore some jeans and a nice sweater you had. Ben was at your apartment at 7 ready to take you to Roger’s house.

           “Wow, you look great,” he complimented you. You felt your cheeks heat up and you turned around to avoid letting him see. “Will Cheryl be there?”

           “No, she’s already headed home for the winter. Left last night,” you informed him. This left the house empty in the case that something may happen with you and Ben. You planned this, and Cheryl was ecstatic.

           “Oh, so house is empty?” he asked.

           “Yup.”

           “Ah.”

Silence. Then he held out his hand to you and you took it. He held you close as you walked through the London night. It was freezing. Snow covered the ground from an earlier flurry and the roads were barren save for ice. Ben was bundled up nicely while you found your sweater failing you, causing you to shiver in the cold.

           “Oh, love,” he chuckled, pulling his jacket off his shoulders to drape over your shoulders. You thanked him softly, pulling the jacket closer around yourself. It smelt good. Like warmth with an undertone of cigarettes. It smelt like him.

Not much later you arrived at Roger’s house. Ben dragged you inside, waving and high fiving people along the way, but keeping his hand in yours the whole time. Eventually, you found your way to a free couch where Ben dropped you off.

           “You want a drink?” he asked, standing in front of you.

           “Sure,” you replied. He smiled at you and walked off to find you a drink. You felt happy. It was weird to think that a guy you hooked up with once a few months ago was now playing a game of cat and mouse with you. But you were ready to be done playing. And maybe tonight you’d be lucky.

A few other kids from school came and sat around you, smiling politely. You returned the smile and shifting to find a comfortable position.

           “So, you’re here with Ben?” one of them asked. It was one of the boys. You just nodded. “He’s dope.”

           “What’s your name?” a girl to your left asked.

           “(Y/N),” you told her. She seemed nice enough, but you still wished Ben were nearby.

           “Oh, you’re Cheryl’s roommate, right?” she exclaimed

You nodded again. “Yeah!”

Then Ben returned, carrying two drinks. He hoped over the couch, sliding his arm around you as he sat down.

           “Hey Rach! How are you,” he asked politely, handing you your drink. You moved into his side more and you didn’t see it, but that made him smile.

           “I’m good! Stephen and I were just introducing yourself to your date.” She gave you a look, moving her shoulder in a cheeky fashion. 

           “Is Kelvin here?” Ben asked.

She shook her head no, letting Stephen answer. “He still has a final tomorrow morning.”

           “Sucks to suck I guess,” Ben joked, causing them to laugh. You smiled, watching their interaction. He was so natural with other people. Everyone felt at ease around him and you could understand why. Rachel and Stephen took their leave of you, leaving you and Ben sitting on the couch together. He looked down at you as you looked around the party.

           “You look lost, love,” he told you.  

           “Sorry, I’ve just never been in the thick of a party before,” you admitted. “I’m usually with Cheryl and she usually abandons me, and I end up—”

           “In the backyard with a stranger?” he finished; his eyes playful.

           “Exactly,” you answered.

He laughed, reverberating in his chest and you could feel it. You let a blush come over your face as he took a sip of his drink. He hummed, letting you know he had something he wanted to say.

           “What do you do?” he asked.

           “Huh?”         

           “Like, other than come to parties, study and go to the supermarket, I don’t really know anything about you,” he pointed out.

           “Oh, uh… I mean I’m a Journalism major with a minor in Film and Art,” you told him. “I’m from the States… New York actually. That’s where my friend Joe lives…” He nodded for you to continue. “Um… I grew up in Albany, which is the capital of New York. But my family moved to the city after my brother moved out?

           “How old is your brother?” he asked.

           “25 now. He’s an Engineer. Runs some engineering firm in Philadelphia,” you explained. “He’s very smart. Smarter than I am.”

           “Hey, don’t say that,” Ben interrupted.

           “It’s just the truth.” You shrugged. “It’s fine. But I had to get away from my parents. Who have no trouble telling me how much better he is than me.” You blushed again. “Sorry, that was too much info.”

           “No, it wasn’t, you can keep telling me everything,” Ben encouraged.

You looked at him, no hint of insincerity. And you did want to tell him everything. But just as you were, Roger rushed into the room.

           “EVERYONE IN THE POOL!” he shouted before racing outside.

           “He’s joking, right? Its freezing outside,” you cried. But as you were talking, Ben pulled you up and started dragging you outside. “No! BEN NO!

He laughed and let go walking back towards the pool. “Let go, love. Let’s live a little tonight!”

And with that, he slipped off his sweater, and you struggled not to let your eyes bug out. He tucked his feet into a cannonball landing with a splash. You watched with wide eyes as he reemerged, shouting at the cold, but motioned for you to join him. You turned away, closing your eyes, silently battling yourself. But then you turned back around and saw him again. Him and his silly smile and his green eyes. And you couldn’t help yourself. Off you ran. And with a great jump, you splashed in after him. As soon as you hit the cold, you felt your whole body freeze up. Your clothes clung to your body and you felt the warmth leaving you.

           You breached the surface, gasping for breath. “Oh my God!” You shouted, looking for something to grab onto; to provide warmth.

           “Love, love, calm down, c’mere.” Ben’s voice washed over you and you found yourself grabbing onto him. He wrapped you up in his arms, pulling you into his chest. His chest wasn’t much warmer, but you still felt yourself heating up. More people came crashing into the pool, but you found yourself unable to see them. Just Ben and his eyes. He put his chin on top of your head, holding you tightly, rubbing his hands up and down your arms.

           “This isn’t safe,” you chattered, your teeth shaking. Ben just laughed and reached down to grab your legs, carrying you to the side of the pool. He sat you down on the top step resting his hands on either side of your hips.

           “I’ll let you borrow my sweater,” he told you. You kept your arms wrapped around his neck, keeping him close to you. You shivered, your whole body shaking. “Oh, love, you’re turning blue.”

You glared at him, moving to rest your head on his chest.  His heartbeat was strong and steady, allowing you to focus on something other than the cold. He pulled you back slightly and grabbed your hand, starting to leave the pool.

           “Let’s get you warmed up, yeah?” he murmured, pulling you up and out of the water. He picked up his sweater and found you a towel, pulling it around your arms.

Once you were dried off, you found yourself in Ben’s white sweater sitting in a hallway across from Ben. He still had a towel around his bare body, his sweater currently being used by yourself.

           “Thank you, Ben,” you said, smiling. “Tonight, has been surprisingly fun.”

           “Oh, the fun is just beginning,” he teased, poking your toe with his. The music in the main room was dully playing in the background. You blushed, looking down into your lap. “What’s wrong, love?”

You looked up at him, his green eyes shining with concern. And you really couldn’t take it anymore. You crawled towards him on all fours, his eyes widening with surprise, you settled yourself on his thighs, straddling his waist. He hands came to rest on your hips, cocking his head. It was a question and he wanted you to answer first. To let him know this was okay. So, you leaned in and pressed your lips to his. This kiss was different from the frantic, horny kiss that you had in the car the first time you met him. This was slower, more languid than before. His lips moved slowly against yours, one of his hands coming up to push back some of your hair.

You slide your hands up his chest, leaning into him more. You moaned when he started to move his lips down your jaw, sucking a mark into the space right behind your ear. You brought your hands up to tangle in his hair, tugging slightly, eliciting a moan from him. You felt your breathing start to pick up and Ben moved his hands under your sweater. You moved your hands down to pull them up to your bra, giving him the permission he needed. But he still pulled back and looked at you.

           “Are you sure this is okay?” he assured. His eyes were blown open and his lips were swollen. But he was still checking on you.

           “Yes.”

And he went back in, this time the lust returned. It was heated and full of passion. He pulled your breasts out of your bra, massaging them slowly. You threw your head back, whimpering and panting heavily. Ben latched his lips to your collar, now exposed to him. The feeling of his thumbs brushing over your tits and his fingers digging into the flesh, along with his lips suck and nipping at the most sensitive areas on your neck left you weak. You let yourself go all but limp in his arms, letting him do what he wanted, letting the amazing feelings wash over you.

Soon, you found yourself in the same place you were two months ago. Laying in bed, now your bed, next to Ben. But this time you weren’t hurried to leave. Ben was lying next to you, one hand behind his head the other holding his phone. You were on your side, watching him, eyes furrowed in thought.

           “What?” Ben asked, not looking over at you.

           “Huh?”

           “You’re looking at me.”

           “Oh, I um…”

           “(Y/N).” He put down his phone a looked over at you.

You looked down, tracing your finger in your sheets. “You didn’t…” You sighed, feeling stupid. “You didn’t just ask me to Roger’s party cause you wanted to have sex with me, right?”

He furrowed his eyebrows and turned on his side. “I mean, that was part of it.” And with that you felt your heart breaking a little. Fuck. He didn’t actually like you. He just wanted to fuck you. “But not all of it. Actually, most of it is because I couldn’t get you out of my mind.” Your mouth parted slightly. “Your face, your voice, your laugh, for some reason, you were stuck. And then I saw you the next day and you… ya know.”

You let out an exasperated sigh, covering your face with your hand. 

“I’m an idiot, I hope you know that,” you told him, peaking through one of your fingers. “I saw you and wanted to talk to you but I panicked!”

He chuckled and shook his head. “It’s okay, I wasn’t going to let you get away.” He continued. “But I knew I wanted to see you again. And I saw you at that other party. Then I kinda was just looking for sex… but I was hoping you’d stay that time, and I’d make you breakfast and get to know you.” He blushed. “But you had Cheryl, so I knew I had to get you to come with me. As my date, somewhere. “So when Rog told me about this party, I knew I had to take you and the rest is history.” He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you to lay down on his chest. 

You snuggled into his side, looping your leg with his. “Well, maybe we can make breakfast together tomorrow morning.”

“You won’t leave me again?” he asked, looking down at you. 

You crawled up to him and connected your lips in a soft, heartfelt kiss. When you pulled back, Ben kept his eyes closed, a smile gracing his features. 

“Never.”

______________________________________________

Tagging people I think would enjoy/people I’d like to read: @redspecialty @sweet-ladyy @strangeandwonderfulconcepts @leah-halliwell92 @angiefangirlworld-2

[generaldisdainn]

Four of a Kind

I’m starting a new multi-chapter fic!

AO3 Link 

Rating: MA (for eventual smut)

Words: 1915

Summary:  After accepting a job as the head of marketing for a local animal shelter, Anna finds herself in a new city in need of a place to live. Luckily, 3 guys know just the place.

Chapter 1

Apartment 4D. The listing boasted a fully furnished living space, 3 kind flatmates, and rooftop access. The attached pictures showed a lovely full kitchen, a clean common area, and a cozy -- if slightly cramped -- bedroom. Anna knew they could have been lying about a few of the apartment's assets just to suck someone else in to help with the rent, which was exactly why she wanted to check the place out before making any sort of commitment. She gently knocked on the door, tentatively making her presence known to her potential future flatmates.

The door swung open after only a few seconds. Anna’s hand was left hovering in the air mid-knock. The man before her leaned against the door frame, a wide smile on his face. His hair was lustrous and thick. It was sculpted neatly into twists at the top of his head that faded tastefully the further down she looked. Anna withdrew her hand from the door and pulled her bag up on her shoulder in an attempt to straighten herself out. She wanted to make a good impression. She needed to if she wanted to live here, and since she was new to the area, she didn't really have a lot of options.

“You must be Anna! I’m Sven. It’s really great to meet you,” Sven offered a hand and Anna graciously took it, nerves already starting to settle with the warm greeting.

“It’s nice to meet you too! Thanks for letting me take a look at the place.” The compliment was genuine. She couldn’t believe how many people were unwilling to make time for her to look around the place before signing a lease or without acting like she was a nuisance.

“No problem! Come on in.” Sven pushed the door open and led Anna inside.

The apartment looked just like it did in the pictures: relatively tidy, up-to-date, and fully furnished, as promised. The main living area off of the entrance did seem to scream “three men live here”, what with the empty beer cans on the coffee table and the haphazardly placed pillows and blankets; but overall, Anna found herself thinking that the place had a lovely charm to it.

“This is our living room, and over here is the kitchen,” Sven began, motioning Anna over to the right of the room.

A tall man rounded the corner, almost barrelling into Anna and Sven. He towered over them both -- well, her far more than Sven. He had a wide, sturdy-looking frame that gave him an imposing aura. Anna took a small step back to avoid colliding with the guy. He seemed much more interested in the pudding cup he was eating than looking where he was going.

“Oh, Kristoff,” Sven said, motioning to the man before them and then to Anna. She suddenly felt dwarfed between the two of them. “This is Anna. She’s here to check out the apartment. She might become our 4th roommate!”

“Anna?” Kristoff repeated. The way he said her name gave off the impression that he didn’t know she was coming.

Anna offered him her hand and straightened her posture in a pitiful attempt to look at least a little taller. “It’s nice to meet you!”

The guy, who Anna now knew was named Kristoff, didn't respond. He turned a cool gaze to Sven, one single eyebrow raised and spoon nestled into his pudding cup. “You never said she was a girl.”

So he definitely didn’t know she was coming- or that she was even a she.

“I didn’t think I had to. What are you, some kind of sexist or something?” Sven teased.

Anna could tell Sven was joking, but that didn’t stop her from feeling uncomfortable. She suddenly felt so out of place. Sven obviously hadn’t told the others she was coming. What if he thought they wouldn’t like her? Or what if he was only letting her see the apartment to be nice?

“God, Sven, no, I just -- ugh, never mind.” Kristoff, despite the cool aura he gave off, seemed almost as flustered as she did. He waved a hand dismissively and sauntered over to the couch.

“Just ignore him -- he gets grumpy sometimes,” Sven chuckled, placing a comforting hand on Anna’s shoulder.

“It's because of you!” Kristoff called from the couch.

“I can live with that!” Sven countered.

“Oh, are you the one here to check out the place?” Another voice came from the kitchen. Anna followed Sven into the space. A younger-looking man sat at the island with a vibrant smile on his face. He had messy black hair, light brown skin, and brilliant blue eyes that emphasized the brightness of his smile. He got up from his seat and offered his hand to Anna.

Anna nodded and smiled, shaking his hand comfortably. “Yep, I am!”

“That’s great! I’m Ryder.”

“I’m Anna,” she replied.

“That’s such a pretty name!” She had only known him for a few mere moments, and she could already tell that he had so much excitement and positive energy to offer.

“Thank you so much!” Anna was grateful for Sven and Ryder’s friendliness but was secretly shocked at the difference between their demeanors and Kristoff’s. She wondered how their dynamic functioned-- if it functioned.

“Yeah, Ryder’s great. He’s got SO many plants in his room,” Sven said to Anna.

“Sven!” Ryder said nervously, as though he were embarrassed to have that information revealed.

“You’re right, I’m sorry, I said I wouldn’t overshare.”

“Well, I mean if it’s all the same to you, I might as well tell her about what happened in the room she’ll be sleeping--”

“Ryder Naturra!” Sven barked before turning to smile at Anna. “Ignore him. He’s just being stupid.” He looked back at Ryder, eyes wide, and cocked his head in a gesture that seemed to command Ryder to walk away, but not without an ear-to-ear grin.

Before Anna was able to think about what just happened, Sven asked her a question. “So, how comfortable are you living with three other dudes?”

“Well…” Anna really had to think about her answer. She wanted to say that she was totally comfortable, but she only had her sister to grow up with, so she didn’t know the ins and outs of sharing a living space with one man, let alone three. “...I don’t really see how it could be much different from living with three other girls, so…”

“Okay, so three other people, then,” Sven said as he led Anna toward one of the two bathrooms. “You’d be sharing a bathroom with Ryder, by the way. Lots of plants in there too. Truly don’t know how he keeps them all alive.”

Anna smiled at Sven’s remark. “Well, three other people is a lot, but I like people, so I figured, why not go for it?” she answered as she peered into the bathroom. “Ooh, I really like the shower! It’s got the detachable shower head and everything!”

“Yeah, it’s cool, right?” Sven said, walking past the bathroom and toward a door at the end of the hall. “So this way is your potential bedroom,” he continued. He grabbed the doorknob, paused, and turned around to face Anna. “You have a bed you can bring, right?”

Anna’s face drained of color. “I what ?”

“I’m just kidding,” Sven said with a smile, waving a hand and turning the doorknob.

Anna let out a heavy sigh. “Oh my god, you really scared me for a second.”

“Okay, but for real, you’ll be getting a bed and a desk. Oh, and a closet.”

Anna walked past Sven into the room and stood in the middle of it. It was modest, to be sure, with a full-sized bed in one corner and a desk in the other, a pair of sliding doors that Anna guessed was the closet, and a big window with wooden blinds. There were off-white marks on the wall where something had been painted over, but otherwise, the room was spotless.

“Yeah, I could definitely make this work,” Anna said. “But what’s wrong with it?”

“What’s wrong with what?” Sven asked.

“This room. Ryder said something happened in here,” Anna replied, trying her best not to sound accusatory.

“Oh, right. Nah, we were just kidding around. We, uh, we planned that little exchange, he thought it would be funny.”

“Oh okay, well that’s a relief,” Anna said. “I was worried there would be, like, a colony of rats in the closet or something,” she continued as she walked to the closet and slid the door open. “Yeah, I could definitely make this work.” She turned to Sven. “When can I move in?”

Sven was taken aback. “Really?”

“Yeah! You guys seem nice, and this is honestly an ideal location for me, so I don’t really see any reason to hesitate,” Anna continued as she walked out of the room and into the common area.

“Woah woah woah, not so fast,” Sven said, presenting his palm to her. He turned around and shouted back towards the main living room. “Men, assemble!” Ryder poked his head out from his room and Kristoff reluctantly stood up from the sofa.

“Now, I like you,” Sven said, turning back to Anna, “but I need to check if these two children will be okay with you moving in.” Oh, right. Anna had forgotten about Kristoff and his broody...broodiness.

“So!” Sven clapped his hands together, and Kristoff and Ryder stood next to him, almost as if they had rehearsed whatever it was they were about to do. “We’re going to go in there and deliberate a bit, and then we’ll come out and let you know, okay?”

Normally something like this would make Anna incredibly anxious, but Sven was smiling at her so sweetly that she couldn’t possibly protest. The guys left her alone, and she made her way to the living room couch. She began nervously picking at a string on one of the worn cushions.

It wasn’t the thought of living with three guys that worried her. It was the thought of how three guys would view living with a girl that made her anxious. Would she be encroaching on their “guy time”? Would she even fit into their odd dynamic? They were the ones that advertised their space, but she still couldn’t shake the feeling that she was intruding. It certainly seemed like Kristoff didn’t want her there, and while Sven and Ryder seemed nice enough, she wouldn’t be surprised if they were just pretending to deliberate to spare her feelings. She shook her head in an attempt to clear her mind. There was no use jumping to some crazy conclusion that was only spurred on by her own insecurities.

“Anna?”

She looked up with a start at the sound of her name being called. The voice was warm and strong- one she immediately recognized as Sven’s, despite having only known him for a few moments.

“We’d really love to have you as a roommate. You can come by to sign the lease as early as tomorrow if you want.”

Anna couldn’t stop the wide smile that broke out on her face. Ryder and Sven seemed thrilled as they exchanged contact information and pleasantries with her. Even Kristoff’s face softened for a moment when she told him how excited she was to be living there.

She could tell that this was going to be the start of something wonderful, or, at the very least, something incredibly interesting.

[bathunterofdevon]

Update

So I might as well give some commentary on my cryptic last post. Basically, I have had to fly back to the UK immediately due to the coronavirus - cutting my Canada trip short. I have had a wonderful time living and working in Collingwood, Ontario, and I made plenty of good friends. But after getting laid off, due to the place closing down, and being unable to pay the rent, I was actually pretty lucky to get back here when I did. I have heard stories of family friends being stranded in many far away places unable to get back, due to airport closures.  I am a little upset that I had to leave Canada - there was so much I wanted to do there. But in all honesty, working the minimum wage job I had, much though I enjoyed it, I never would have been in any position to do anything else beyond that point. It sure is expensive being an immigrant. When I came over to Canada, I have over £3,000 in life savings that I had stashed away. But in the very first month, I lost all of it; just by looking for a place to live. (This was when I was in Toronto). Toronto is a pretty expensive place to live. It's so expensive - I swear there is a tax on the oxygen you breathe over there. I worked a shitty job over there for the first three months, as a server... except, not quite. What I did was basically like serving food, except I only did menial tasks that that were beneath the main service staff, like cleaning tables, and the floor. I didn't even get to collect tip money. And three months later, I was suddenly fired for some minor indiscretion. I won't talk about it here, because I'm a little worried that if I tell you, you might not take my side.  But basically, if you have a job in Canada (and I found this out the hard way) for the first three months, you are on a kind of probationary period. You can be terminated immediately during that time with no notice whatsoever. That devastated me more than a little, because I had never been fired before. It ate into my psyche and made me wonder if I would ever really amount to anything, and whether I would have to give up and fly back early.  Fortunately, after that, it turned out that I had a contact, who was a friend of a friend of my mother, who worked further up north, in this little resort by the Blue Mountain Ski Range, in Collingwood, Ontario, who managed to get me a referral for working at the front desk over there. I did a FaceTime interview, and accepted the position.  Working at the resort was wonderful. Not only did I get given accommodation, but I had staff lunches, and basically all of my immediate needs were seen to. Best of all, my staff accommodation was ten times better than the last place, where I lived. I had a room all to myself, with a desk and everything. I had the resources and time schedule I needed to work on my Youtube videos all the while I was having off time from working at the front desk. After 11 whole months, I finally finished Dirty Danganronpa, while out there and breathed a sigh of relief. That sure took a lot of energy out of me.  I had some troublesome flatmates though. I say troublesome, because they were difficult and unreasonable at times. They could be really unreasonable when it came to cleaning the dishes... and I later discovered that they were not equally unreasonable when it was THEIR turn to clean up after themselves. While I was initially friendly towards them, in the months gone by, I was avoid them as much as possible, because it was tricky talking to them. It was for the best that we became isolated from each other. They were nice to me at times, and I was grateful for their company at times - but their moods were often unpredictable and transient, which made me feel unsafe and unsure as to whether I could trust them.  The whole time, I reflected on my status as a foreigner, and how much more useful it would be if I had a skill of some kind, and if only I had finished my driving test before I came there. Thinking about my real life situation was enough to drive me into a deep despair and self-pitying fest that would leave me feeling too exhausted and miserable to produce anything. But it wasn't all bad. I still have some positive memories of that place. I did leave a good lasting impression with my employer. And while I did eventually lose my job, unlike last time this one was not my own fault. Everybody was getting laid off, left, right and centre. And the resort itself, incidentally has closed down indefinitely. It is astonishing how far-reaching the effects of the virus have proved. I never would have predicted this level of hysteria before - I'm old enough to remember the Bird Flu, the Swine Flu, the Zika Virus, and Ebola... all I remember of those, was nothing more than there being a huge media craze; even some Youtube stars talking about them, besides a couple hundred thousands of deaths too far away for any of us to know or care.  But... this was different. To be honest, though it may sound heartless of me to say this, part of me is actually excited at all the chaos that's happening. The world is in full-blown panic mode. And now government and health ministers are advising everyone to self-isolate. I just want to let these government officials and everybody else know, that I had been self-isolating long before it was fashionable. Else I would not have found the time to make these.  Anyway, the day finally came when we all heard the announcement - the owner of the resort was laying off virtually everyone in the housekeeping/maintenance/front desk department, and we were being faced with a choice - either I would have to work in a different (less glamorous) department, like maintenance, or cleaning, or I would choose voluntary redundancy, and claim unemployment benefits. For me, it was a no brainer. I don't have the brain, nor the mentality to do menial, repetitive tasks like painting, and cleaning. In spite of the fact that I have worked for years in MacDonalds, and in restaurants doing tasks like that. But considering everything that was going on, I had a chat with my Mum and Dad, and they insisted that I fly back home as quickly as possible. I was reluctant to do so at first. I didn't want to throw away everything for which I'd worked so hard to achieve. It was meaningful that I was living entirely by my own means, and providing for myself. I basically wasn't a kid anymore. And I didn't want to put an abrupt end to that. But then, everything changed. Dominic Raab (The UK Government's Foreign Secretary) basically told all Brits abroad to return home as soon as possible. By then, I figured I ought to get back as soon as possible, so that I didn't end up stranded with nowhere to live.  Officially, the UK is under lockdown due to the virus. But honestly, based on what I've seen, it does not feel like we are under a lockdown at all. Most of the local shops down my road are still open. Even some of the restaurants are still open - except they only do takeouts instead. I have not seen any police roadblocks, nor checkpoints of any kind.  In fact, I've seen quite a few people out cycling, walking their dogs, basically just life as normal. I have to wonder how they are going to enforce this lockdown, seeing as so many people are ignoring it? Not like I care either way. If we are officially under lockdown, then I have a better reason to stay indoors, and work more on my computer. :D  Now, it is estimated that we will remain under lockdown for approximately 3 months - although I don't know the actual figure. Everybody fails at predicting the future. What am I going to do in that three months time? Well, the only thing I can do at this point. If there are things that my Canada trip have taught me, it's that I have a Creative disease. I have to find ways to satisfy my urges and channel my creative instincts effectively. One of those channels is through this - my Youtube Channel. But there are three others.  Another one for me is voice acting. I've mentioned earlier that I have another account where I take part in voice acting, except I'm not sure if I'm ready to introduce you to my real voice and real self yet. The third one is music. Not a lot of you may know this, but I actually have a background in music. My grandmother on my mother's side was a concert pianist (Just like another girl we all know, hmmm?) I am also an alumnus of the Academy of Contemporary Music, in Guildford, Surrey, UK. There are three videos dated about 5-7 years ago on this channel which I had to make private, because they all feature me, singing and playing guitar in them. One of them is me playing a guitar cover of the Hollyoaks Theme Tune (God - what a loser I was. So desperate for validation I would actually cover the Hollyoaks Theme tune) I don't even like Hollyoaks. I hate it with a burning passion - like every other Godawful soap opera on British Television. In fact, TV in general is just so depression and despair inducing that I refuse to watch it. Anime/Video games and Music is my escape from all that. I despise pretty much anything that depicts the real world in a realistic life setting.    But to give you an idea of what else I sometimes do in my time, there is an old video - 6 years old - of a remix I did of the Allegro Cross Examination theme tune for Ace Attorney, which I made on Garageband. I make quite a lot of music using Garageband. Music is actually an even bigger part of me, than Danganronpa is - well in any case, it goes back way further than my interest in Danganronpa, that's for certain. At some point, maybe when I reach a certain point in terms of how many subscribers I have, I would love to introduce you all to my real self. It would be a rewarding experience to have all of you get to know me, and all of my facets. ...Oh, and before we all forget: 

Happy Kayay-day, everybody! Let's all give a show of appreciation to Best Girl, and wish her love and happiness in Heaven. Happy Birthday, Kaede Akamatsu. - Bat Hunter

[theasstour]

0107. Lento assai.

Friday, 6 February 2015

FIC PAGE | CHAPTER SYMPHONY | WORD COUNT: 8k

NB: explicit language, alcohol

Storming out of the building, Y/N tried to calm herself down so she wouldn’t cry in public, as she was humiliated enough as it was. So humiliated in fact, that she wasn’t sure she could ever show her face to anyone ever again. That job interview had been so bad that she felt like throwing up, and she had no doubt that would be exactly what she would do when she got back to the flat. With all the jobs she had applied for she’d only hear back from a small handful, where one of those had been at Primark. And that was where she was sprinting out now. She zig-zagged her way through the horde of people, hoping all of them were having a better day than she was having. All Y/N wanted now was to get back to the flat, lay down in her bed, and forget this day ever happened.

On the tube on the way home, Y/N did what she was best at: thought about all the different ways she could have better her job interview. This always happened. She would make a complete twit of herself because she was so nervous, so the right words never entered her mind, and when she couldn’t speak properly it was kind of hard to answer someone as words were essential when you were being interviewed. All the four job interviews she had been to this last month had gone to complete poo, and she hated that she wasn’t able to control her emotions, her anxiety.

Walking into the flat, she could hear Tiana, Spencer and Finn in the kitchen. As much as she wanted to be in her room and cry to herself, she knew Tiana would sense something was wrong and would do anything in her power to make Y/N smile again. So, changing out of her interview clothes and into comfortable lounge wear, Y/N put her slippers on and walked into the kitchen.

“Hello, babes.” Tiana said, grinning. “You alright?”

Y/N only smiled and sat down beside Tiana who threw an arm around her shoulders, kissing her temple.

“Want to talk about the interview?” Finn asked, eyebrows raised in question.

Y/N shook her head.

“Okay,” Finn clapped his hands together. “Hope you girls are going to wear something slutty tonight, because I want nothing but the best for my best mate on his birthday.”

“Wasn’t his birthday on the 1st? Last Sunday?” Spencer asked.

“So?” Finn shrugged. “The geezer needs a distraction. He’s so stressed about uni.”

“Isn’t everyone, though?” Tiana chirped in, still rubbing Y/N’s upper arm and holding her close.

“Yea, but Harry is Harry.” Finn said. “If I was a girl, I’d dress so slutty for him I would’ve ended up standing on a street corner in-“

“-Piss off, Finn!” Tiana said, making both Spencer and Y/N chuckle. “I’m sure Y/N will wear something nice for him, won’t you, doll?”

“Sure, she will.” Finn nodded. “And what about you, Ti?”

“I’m not going.”

“Because of Danny?”

Tiana nodded.

“Don’t let that toss ruin everything. We want you there tonight.” Finn reasoned, sounding genuinely sad that Tiana might not come along tonight.

“Yea, I know, but at the same time I really don’t want to see him, you know what I mean? Like, I want to go, but I don’t.” Tiana removed her arm from around Y/N’s shoulders, and now it was Y/N’s turn to comfort her friend. Placing a hand on her thigh, she took Tiana’s hand in hers, reassuring her that whether she wanted to come tonight or not, it was fine.

“What happened between you two anyway?” Spencer seemed oblivious to the way Tiana tensed up, and Y/N squeezed her friend’s hand. “You never said.”

“She didn’t want to, Spenc.” Y/N answered, making Spencer look up from his phone where he was texting someone.

“We won’t talk about that. Sorry, Ti.” Finn said, looking at Spencer and then Tiana again. “How about I stay by your side all night, yea? Won’t let him get anywhere near you.”

“It’s not that I don’t want him anywhere near me, it’s just that-“ Tiana stopped herself, biting her lips together as she tried to form coherent sentences in her head. “Seeing him will make me cry.”

Y/N leaned into Tiana who leaned back, needing someone to carry her weight for her a little bit. Y/N would never make Tiana speak about anything she wasn’t ready to, and though she adored Spencer and everything about him, she found herself a little annoyed at how unobservant he had been asking Tiana that question. But by the way he was looking at Tiana now, like he knew he had been wrong bringing it up, she knew he wouldn’t ever speak about it again. It was no one’s place, and Tiana was clearly not happy talking about any of it.

“We won’t force you into anything, okay?” Y/N assured her. “If you feel like tagging along, you’re free to. And if you don’t want to, then that’s fine, too. Whatever you feel comfortable with, just know that no matter what, the whole flat will gladly scissor Danny’s balls off if he even glanced in your direction.”

Finn gasped, and Y/N looked over. “Y/N,” he said, hand on his heart. “I have never heard you talk like that before, mate.”

She laughed.

“Never heard you talk about balls before, didn’t know if you knew what they were.”

She laughed again, and so did Tiana and Spencer. Finn got up, walking over to the fridge to get the pizza he’d have for dinner, putting the oven on as he read on the back of the package.

“You guys reckon I could be blessed enough to shag tonight?” Finn asked, getting the baking paper out.

“You’re going on the pull?” Spencer grinned, putting his phone away. “Interesting.”

“What’s interesting about that? I’m a peng geez, ain’t I?” Finn pointed at himself, rolling his hips. “I’m big with the ladies.”

“Oh God.” Tiana covered her eyes. “How I wish I had bad eyesight so I wouldn’t have witnessed that.”

“It turned you on, queen Ti, admit it.” Finn giggled, opening the pizza and putting it on the trey.

“So you’re going to go for it tonight?” Y/N smiled at her flatmate how smiled back, giving her a wink.

“I will try not to be loud if I bring the bird back here, lads. But no promises.” He said. “They agree with me a lot.”

“Jesus Christ!” Tiana made a grimace. “Can you not be a dog?”

“Not being a dog, just being truthful!” Finn defended himself, not being able to help his smile. “Who doesn’t like an honest man?”

“You’re being too open and too honest.” Tiana giggled, and so did Y/N. “But, mate, if you’re not taking the piss and you actually will go on the pull, then I might just come along just to watch that.”

Finn looked up from where he was hunched before the oven, a beam on his face. “Are you being for real? You’ll come?”

“Only if you make a complete ass of yourself trying to pull.”

Finn ran over to Tiana, picking her up and out of her chair. With his arms wrapped around her torso, and a screaming Tiana against him, he ran around the kitchen singing along to a Chainsmokers song Y/N didn’t know the name of. Spencer got his phone out, laughing at the two, and took a video, saving the happy moment on his phone so they could remember it forever.

“You always look so fit, Y/N.” Tiana said, putting on lipstick before she thought herself ready to go out.

Y/N looked at herself in the mirror of Tiana’s room to check if her blue, vanilla and yellow checked mini shirt wasn’t too short. She wasn’t wearing tights underneath, so if her bum showed, so would her knickers, and she wasn’t too keen on that happening. Tucked into the skirt was a black turtleneck, on her feet a pair of Tiana’s black Dr Martens, and just at the top, some of her long white socks were showing. Along with her black leather Y/Net and a purse to match, Y/N was set to go.

“You sure the skirt won’t ride up and my bullocks will show?”

“Just make sure Harry’s around when that happens, babes, and you’re golden.” Tiana said, making Y/N blush.

When they were both done, they walked out into the kitchen where all their other flatmates were waiting, and then flat 34 was on their way again. Tiana and Y/N holding hands while in Tiana’s other was a Sainsbury’s bag with two bottles of wine; one for her and one for Y/N. In the front walked Finn and Ian, joking around, and Becky walked alone, texting on her phone with El and Blessing, Y/N guessed. Spencer and Annie walked in the back, talking about something Y/N couldn’t hear, and beside her Tiana was humming. It took them about 15 minutes to walk to Cotton Row Halls, the most expensive of the four student accommodations at Battersea Uni. Y/N had never been there before, but as she stood outside the all-white building, she knew it would she would be very overwhelmed when she walked inside.

Sending Wade a message, Finn put his phone back in his pocket and waited until his friend opened the front door, grinning at all of them. Instead of taking the lift, they all walked up to flat 8, Finn and Wade talking excitedly in the front. The rest of flat 34 had been here for predrinks during Freshers Week, but this was Y/N’s first time in flat 8, and for some reason this had her very nervous. She shimmied her skirt down as they reached the flat, making sure it wasn’t too far up, and tried to ignore Tiana giggling at her.

“Flat 34, boys!” Finn shouted as they strolled through the door, walking straight into a white communal area. “Let’s get drinking!”

Y/N let Tiana walk in front of her, though they were still holding tightly onto one another as Danny came into view, sitting beside El and Blessing. Becky instantly walked over to them, sitting down and gossiped right away, clearly having a lot on her heart. Ian placed a hand on Tiana’s shoulder as they found a place around the dining table. Everything was white, Y/N noticed, and everything looked so incredibly clean compared to Westbridge. The kitchen counters weren’t filled with dirty dishes, packs of mouldy bread, and crumbs. Their walls were smeared with questionable substances, bumps and ants. The floor wasn’t carpeted, but it wasn’t dirty either, it was literally shining straight up at Y/N when she examined it. Cotton Row was everything Westbridge wasn’t, and somehow Y/N didn’t mind that. Westbridge had grown on her. And no matter how much she hated it at times, she had also had the time of her life there so far.

After looking at the flat, Y/N hated herself for searching the room. Hated herself for letting her heart race a little. Hating herself for feeling disappointed when she couldn’t find him.

“How much have you lot had to drink?” Finn asked from Y/N’s left, sitting beside Danny so neither Y/N nor Tiana had to.

“None, bruv.” Wade said. “Waiting for Harry. Takes fucking ages to get ready, so far up his own arse when it comes to clothes.”

“I think that’s hot.” Becky said, opening her Malibu and pouting some into a plastic cup. “Not enough blokes care how they dress.”

“Oh, hold on, Becky, that’s not true!” Ian said, face in an offended furrow. “I care how I dress!”

“But you don’t dress like Harry, do ya?” She cocked her head, making El and Blessing giggle, and Tiana roll her eyes a little.

“Birthday boy’s gotta look lush, yea?” Harry walked out of one of the two corridors, smiling like he always did. Y/N almost gasped as he walked out, looking so good something inside her brain shifted. The green jumper he was wearing brought out the green in his eyes, and the white collar by his neck emphasised just how sharp his jawline was. With a pair of dark grey trousers, a black belt holding them up and a silver chain hanging down from the right side of his hips, Harry looked absolutely stunning. He strode over to the table, sitting down between Becky and Wade, leaning across the table to shake Finn’s hand, only for a single second locking eyes with Y/N before he looked away, smile widening.

“Can we start drinking now?” El asked, putting some of her blonde hair behind her ears. “I want to get hammered.”

“Haven’t shown Y/N around the flat yet.” Harry said, making Y/N blink and look right across the table at him. “Doesn’t know where the loo is-“

“-It’s that way.” El said, pointing to the corridor behind her and Y/N looked, a little confused as to which door it was but she didn’t voice her concern. “Now let’s get drinking.”

Y/N glanced back at Harry who seemed to be biting the inside of his cheek while looking at El, not a very fond expression on his face before he looked back at Y/N. She knew Harry had a small – or a very big – difficulty living with El and Blessing, something that had started the second they moved in together, and that had only grown since then, especially when they had a party and completely trashed his room. And to be quite honest, because of this Y/N wasn’t too big of a fan of them either. They had never done anything to her, but they had hurt Harry’s feelings and that was enough for her to not feel good about them. She bit her lip as Harry’s eyes really settled on her, doing the thing where he looked between them a few times before he focused on one of them. The pair stared at each other for a bit, and the hard look on Harry’s face slowly faded away, turning into the smallest of smiles. When his dimples started to show, a curl falling into his forehead, Y/N could feel absolutely everything about her melt. She wasn’t usually a melt, didn’t know how to properly act around someone she was infatuated with, but with Harry it seemed she didn’t know how to control herself. Didn’t know the right answers, or how to breathe without feeling like oxygen somehow wasn’t enough to keep her alive. She looked away, feeling a blush creep on. Harry chuckled from across the table.

“Alright, boys,” Finn said, getting his phone out. “Someone put on some music and I’ll find Shots.”

“On it.” Danny said, reaching for the speaker, putting on some The Weeknd.

“Shots?” Y/N whispered to Finn, and he tilted the phone in her direction to show her the drinking game app on his phone. She nodded, smiling at Tiana as she gave her the wine bottle and a plastic cup.

“Most Likely To anyone?” Finn asked, and grinned at the hoots around the table. “Okay, first one: Most likely to win a Theresa May lookalike competition.”

Y/N laughed along with everyone else, pouring some wine into her cup just as Tiana did the same beside her. Giving her a quick look to make sure she was okay, that she wasn’t too uncomfortable and sad being in the same room as Danny, Y/N looked back at her wine as she saw the coast to be clear.

“Everyone point in three, yea?” Finn said, getting ready to do just that. “Three, two, one-“

Fingers were pointed all over the table, but most were in Ian’s direction, who seemed so incredibly shocked and offended that everyone had to laugh once again.

“What?!” He shouted. “Are you all completely mad?! Fucking twats!” Taking a grip of his cup he sipped his vodka lemonade, shaking his head as it undoubtably was a bit strong.

Finn slapped his hand against the table, grinning madly. “Most likely to give the best oral sex.”

Everyone around the table whistled under their breaths, looking at all the faces to make up their minds. Always incredibly unsure and a little uncomfortable when anything sexual was brought up, Y/N bit her lip and held onto her own hands tightly, not having a single idea as to who she should point to. She could go for a safe option and just point to Tiana who would most likely laugh, or joke around and point to Finn or Ian who would both flirt, but then be over it.

“Three!” Finn said, hand read for pointing. Y/N felt her heart racing. She hadn’t made a decision yet.

“Two!” Who would be best? Who would make most sense?

“One!”

Fingers were pointed and loud laughter and hoots sounded again. Y/N looked at Tiana who was pointing across the table, and when she followed her finger in the direction it was pointed at, Y/N’s mouth fell a bit open when she saw Harry. Multiple people seemed to be pointing at him, and he was grinning hugely, clearly satisfied.

“Harryyyy!” Wade sang, cackling afterwards. “It’s you, mate!”

Harry shrugged, letting his hand who was pointing at Wade fall to the table.

“I mean,” Harry leaned his elbows on the table, shrugging his shoulders again. “You’re not wrong.”

Finn clapped his hands while the rest of the room either shouted in surprise or laughed. As Harry chuckled, Y/N looked around the table at who else had pointed at Harry, and found that all the girls had, as well as Wade and Finn, though Y/N was 100% sure they were taking the piss. Harry gripped his cup, about to say something when Becky interrupted him.

“Of course, it’s him.” She said. “Just look at those lips.”

Harry laughed and everyone else howled low ‘oooh’s that made Becky grin at him, happy with the reaction. She watched him as he took his sip, eyes falling to his very pink and full lips. Y/N felt a pang of something inside her then; something she wasn’t sure she liked. Seeing Becky so unapologetically flirt and stare at him made something possessive take over inside Y/N. Harry wasn’t by any means her boyfriend, so she didn’t have any right feeling the way she was feeling, but at the same time she didn’t want anyone to flirt with him. It was weird, Y/N thought, because she had no right or reason for feeling this way, and yet she did.

“Y/N,” Finn said. “You didn’t point at anyone.”

Y/N froze, looking at him with wide eyes. “I, uhm…” She swallowed. “I couldn’t make up my mind.”

“Just-“

“-It’s obviously me.” Tiana said, taking one of Y/N’s hands and pointing it at herself.

Finn grinned and looked down at his phone before speaking the next assumption to point for. When she looked away from Tiana, Y/N caught Harry’s eyes from across the table. He mouthed a quick ‘you okay’, to which Y/N nodded. That alone made her feel better than anything had done all night. But then she locked eyes with Becky, and the single second they were looking at each other, her stomach turned to ice and everything she had felt only moments earlier vanished.

They continued to play Most Likely To until everyone was piss drunk, the laughter was loud, and the temperature inside the flat was a little too high. Wade opened the windows to let some fresh air in, and almost fell to the floor when Finn pretended to yank his chair out from under him when he was on the way to the loo. Sai and some other of Harry’s course mates showed up as a surprise, though Wade and Finn had clearly set it up. Putting a Tesco carrot cake down in front of Harry with 20 lit and crammed candles on top, everyone sang the birthday song for him. The claps were loud as Harry blew out all the candles on his first try. Everyone got a piece and Y/N tried not to look too much across the table now that the alcohol started to kick in and her ability to fight her initial instincts were failing her. So, instead she chatted to Annie and Tiana about nothing in particular, feeling a little dizzy as she ate up her piece of the carrot cake.

“Harry,” Becky said. “Mind showing me around the flat? Haven’t really been here before. Or not really that I can remember anyway.”

The chatter was loud, and Y/N didn’t know why she had heard this exact conversation out of the many going on, but she had. And she felt incredibly shitty for it. It took everything in her power not to scream at the top of her lungs as Harry said his yes; to look away from Tiana as Harry walked down the corridor towards his bedroom with Becky following; and to not feel incredibly sad because she didn’t know how to properly handle the situation. However, Y/N managed to control herself and not cry. Focusing on the conversation she was having with Tiana and Annie, she somehow forgot about Harry and Becky altogether. Her attention span was very short when she was drunk, she started to realise, and tonight that was a very good thing. Y/N didn’t really want to think about Harry. Didn’t want to admit to herself or anyone else that she really, really liked him. Didn’t want to open up about the fact that she was very sure he would most likely break her heart, but she was still talking to him and hanging out with him because she wanted to. It was just a crush after all, nothing serious could come of it.

This all reassured Y/N, because she knew getting involved with someone while at university would only complicate things. She would lose focus, find new priorities she did not need to be finding, start thinking differently, and so on. The only thing Y/N needed was to focus on her degree and nothing but. She knew her and Harry would never happen, but it was fun to imagine it to; it was fun having a crush because it made every day, every interaction with them a little more special. It was something innocent to look forward to.

As Harry and Becky came walking back into the kitchen, talking to each other, Y/N had to pinch herself so she wouldn’t look at them. She had no idea it would ever be this hard to be ignoring someone in the same room as her, especially when all she wanted to do was look at him, study him and watch as he moved, smiled, and breathed. Y/N, Tiana and Annie all finished their bottles of wine, all pretty pissed once the time came to leave for the club. It took them some time to get down the stairs as they were adamant on walking down and not taking the lift, even though Finn tried to drag them in with him. He waited for them downstairs, though.

It took them around 20 minutes to walk to The Grand, a nightclub in Clapham. Y/N had never been to a nightclub before, and she was both very eager and very anxious to go to one. But with Tiana, Annie, and Finn joining her, she knew she would be fine. They would never leave her as all of them knew just how much she dreaded being alone in huge crowds of people.

In the queue outside The Grand, Sai slung his arm around Harry’s shoulders and started singing, at the top of his lungs, Bromance by Chester See and Ryan Higa. Wade quickly joined in, singing it to Harry whose cheeks were reddening. Y/N looked away when she realised she was staring a little too intently. Harry was just so insanely cute when he was flustered or blushing, which didn’t usually happen, and Y/N found herself thinking and hoping to one day be able to do it. Once they got inside the club, it was very hard for the whole group to stick together. Tiana, Annie and Y/N all managed to, but everyone else kind of fell away from them.

For some reason, Y/N was thankful for that. She had no idea why, but she was a little mad at Harry. She knew she had no right to be, but she was angry at him for giving in to Becky and giving her what she wanted. Never had he voiced his dislike for Becky, but Y/N knew he didn’t like Blessing and El, though he never talked about Becky. Never. Whenever Becky talked to him or wanted his attention, he seemed to give her what she wanted. This made Y/N doubt everything she had ever thought about her and Harry, because maybe, at the end of the day, all he wanted was to spend time with her so he could sneakily make a move on Becky. Y/N didn’t know how boys worked. How their thought process worked or if they even felt the same way she did. But she could not help feeling a little hopeless as Harry disappeared from view, Becky beside him and the loud music and crowd of the club completely devouring her and her two friends.

Y/N soon lost herself in the madness of the club. Dancing the night away with Tiana and Annie, there was nothing on her mind but the song playing loudly over the speakers, the bass moving the rhythm of her heart, and the droplets of sweat running down her back. Only a handful of times did Y/N see Harry. He was with Sai, Wade and Finn, dancing along to the music as well. Every time their eyes met they would both kind of stop moving for a bit, losing themselves in the sight of the other; entranced. And after a few second of that, Harry would push through his little circle of friends to get to her. And each time, Y/N would pull Tiana and Annie away to dance somewhere else out of sight of Harry. Harry would look over again only to find the spot taken by someone else, and when searching the room for her, would wind up not finding Y/N or any of her mates.

After three times of this happening, Y/N knew Harry would question her about it later. It wasn’t normal behaviour for her to avoid someone, but she for some reason did not want to talk to Harry. Talking to him would remind her of him and Becky in the flat earlier, and that would only make her very sad. So, instead of confronting Harry about this she opted for keeping quiet and pushing him away. Tiana was starting to catch on after a while but didn’t say anything. She knew Y/N well enough to know when to push for information and when to not. So, the three girls just danced together and had fun like they always did when they hung out together, making the most of the night.

“I need a wee!” Y/N shouted between Tiana and Annie, who both nodded and motioned they would stay where they were until she came back. Making her way through the crowd, Y/N got to one of the girl loos. The queue was horrendous, so she decided to try the other one by the bar. Walking there it was impossible not to notice Harry where he stood leaning against the counter with his mates. Their eyes met, and Y/N sped up past him and in the direction of the toilets.

“Later, lads.” Harry said before following Y/N. “Y/N!”

She ignored him, walking up the stairs to the toilets.

“Y/N!”

There were next to no one here. Y/N thanked herself for being observant when they walked in and seeing this hidden loo. Opening the door into the women’s toilet, she was happy to see no one else in there. Thinking herself safe from Harry following her now, she just about screamed when the door into the toilet opened and Harry stepped inside. With a hand to her heart, she watched Harry run a hand through his hair before pointing at her, panting slightly.

“What’s going on?”

Y/N’s mouth fell open, no words forming.

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

“I have not!”

“Oh, yea sure!” Harry seemed very annoyed, the frown in his forehead deeper than Y/N had ever seen it before. “Every time I’ve talked toward you tonight on the dancefloor to dance with you, you’ve walked right off!”

“Well…!” Y/N gestured wildly with her hands. “Maybe I didn’t want you to dance with me!”

Harry blinked, taking a step back. “What?”

Y/N nodded.

“Why?”

Y/N shrugged.

“Y/N, talk to me. Why didn’t you want me close to you? Have I done something to upset you?” He seemed so desperate Y/N almost felt sorry for him. “Please tell me. I don’t want…” He sighed. “I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

Y/N crossed her arms. “You never said anything about her.”

Harry frowned again. “About who?”

“Becky.”

Harry inhaled sharply. “You’re… You’re mad at me because of Becky?”

“Well…” Y/N tightened her grip on her arms. “Yes!”

“Why?”

“Because you… you gave up straight away on showing me around your flat, but jumped at the opportunity to show Becky!” Y/N felt her heart racing, realising Harry might like Becky better than her and not crying at the thought of that was very hard. “You always talk about how much you dislike Blessing and El, but never Becky!”

“Don’t know her well enough to have an opinion on her!”

“I feel so stupid bringing it up, but I-“

Y/N stopped talking as she heard someone talking loudly on their way up the stairs to the girl’s toilet.

“But you what, Y/N?!”

Harry heard them too then, the girls outside laughing loudly at something, and he looked over his shoulder at the door that would soon open up. Quickly, he took a grip of Y/N’s wrist and walked into a random stall, locking it just as the girls entered, talking at an inhuman volume and howling with laughter at the same time.

“But you what?” Harry repeated.

It was only then Y/N noticed how close they were standing. Harry’s breath hit her nose as she looked up at him, his eyes looking into hers like they would give him the answer if her lips didn’t. They had never been standing this close to one another. Y/N had never seen Harry on the brink of blurriness; never needed for him to move closer and get blurrier as much as right now. She was desperate for him. Desperate for everything about him; for his hands, his eyes, his breath, his lips, his words, his time, his body. Desperation was a taste that would linger; like a sweet you wish you’d never have eaten but you were stuck with the taste of it in your mouth now after a little taste. Y/N knew that the minute Harry kissed her, he would only make that desperation worse, but she craved for him to. It was like nothing could ever be enough. Y/N could never get enough of him.

“Y/N?” Harry whispered, the girls outside and inside some of the stalls talking over their hushed voices. “Talk to me.”

Her eyes fell to his lips, trying to hide her swallowing at the sight of them. When she looked up at him, she could tell by the way his eyelids had lowered over his eyes that he had noticed her staring. It was impossible for him not to have caught her looking, but she still felt a little embarrassed about him maybe knowing she wanted him to kiss her.

“Why are you talking about Becky?” He asked again, this time a little louder.

“I just…” Y/N shrugged. “I…”

Harry shifted, somehow getting closer to her. “You what?”

“I don’t like her.”

Harry put the toilet seat down and sat on it, looking up at her as she leaned against the wall of the stall. “Why?”

Y/N shrugged, listening as the girls outside started making their way out into the club again.

“Y/N, please talk to me.”

She looked way.

“Y/N-“

“-She’s not afraid to ask for your attention.”

Harry blinked.

“Whenever I want you to pay attention to me, she gets it because she makes you pay attention to her.” She shook her head. “I don’t have the guts to do that.”

Harry just looked at Y/N, a little shocked because she was never upfront about anything. Y/N never spoke freely like this about anything, so hearing her actually voice her concern was new to him. Hadn’t she been drunk, she probably would not have said anything, they both knew that. The terror of having Harry know exactly how she felt made everything inside Y/N turn with mortification. She turned for the door, about to unlock it when Harry took a grip of her hand. Yanking her toward him, he noticed he put a little too much force into it, because she lost her balance and fell on top of him. Both of her legs were on either side of his left thigh, her torso flat against his chest, and her hands pushing her back so she could look at him.

Neither of them laughed. Y/N was shocked, mouth open as she stared down at Harry who was looking quite seriously right up at her. That teasing smile he usually had lingering on his lips wasn’t there anymore. As both of his hands rested on her hip, holding her loosely in place, Y/N felt everything inside her scream. Harry’s hands were on her hips. And it felt like they were burning holes through her skirt. They felt so warm.

“You have my attention now.” Harry said, voice low as his fell to her lips and then to her eyes again. “You always have it, Y/N. No one else. Always you.”

Harry drew her closer to him. Y/N gasped as her centre rubbed against Harry’s thigh. Harry’s grip tightened a bit as he realised what he had done. How he had made her feel. Their eyes met, understanding dawning on both of them. Again, Y/N felt ashamed of showing just how much everything about Harry got to her. It was impossible for her to hide when all her guards were down it seemed, as everything she felt was doubled when she was drunk. She tried to push away from him again, knowing that if she was close to him like this for any longer, she would undoubtably lean in herself.

“Y/N.”

Harry whispered as he drew her to him again, and Y/N couldn’t help the small whimper leaving her lips, her sensitive bud rubbing against him again.

“You have me.” He said. “With everything I am and ever will be; you have me.”

She placed her hands on either of his shoulders, looking down at him.

“I am at your complete disposal.” He leaned forward, moving his chest so Y/N moved her body, more specifically her hips. “Always have been.”

He sat back and Y/N moved her hips on her own this time, the grasp she had on his shoulders tightening.

“Becky might have asked for my attention,” he continued, green eyes turning a shade darker as Y/N rocked her hips back and forth once again, very slowly. “But you never have to.”

Y/N let out a breathy moan, the feeling of Harry’s strong leg against her sensitive bud better than she ever would have thought it to. Knowing he felt the same way she did, that he was only ever giving Becky the time of day because she made him, made her feel so incredibly happy that the butterflies in her tummy went crazy. They flew into her core, flying in a circle so fast and creating a low hum of pleasure. She closed her eyes, feeling out Harry’s muscled leg. When she opened her eyes, looking straight into his, she could tell he hadn’t taken his eyes off her for a single second. He had watched her get acquainted with him; gotten familiar with the places to press down to get that spark of pleasure and where his muscles were defined.

As his mouth fell open at the sight of her, Y/N suddenly became very aware of how wet she actually was. Her cunt was slick and very hot as she drove it across Harry. He no doubt felt her. Staring at her the way he did, Y/N was somehow sure he didn’t mind wet marks up and down his thigh for later. Being wet like this, every little sensation she felt was heightened, especially her clit. The first audible moan left her lips, small like a loud whimper.

“Yea?” He whispered, voice coated in lust. “Does that feel good?”

Y/N closed her eyes, Harry’s hands roaming higher up her sides. The more pressure she was putting on her clit, the more pleasure she felt. Y/N didn’t masturbate often, so when she did, she usually came pretty fast. However, she was suddenly very scared Harry would think she was weird for coming too fast. She didn’t want him to think she’d never done anything before. She didn’t want him to think she was as pure as everyone thought her to be. Not him. But as she felt his thumbs skim the underside of her breasts, his hands moving to caress down her back, she suddenly lost all sense of anything but the feeling of her building orgasm. Another moan; this one louder and breathy.

“Fuck, Y/N.”

She opened her eyes, taking a bit more effort now that she was so close. She started moving her hips harder and faster. Harry’s hands on her hips, squeezed her a little as he noticed how close she was.

“Go on.” Harry said. “Come on me.”

Just then, another gang of girls walked in, talking amongst themselves. Y/N stopped for a bit, but Harry squeezed her hip. Their eyes met once again, and she started rocking. Looking into his eyes alone, when he was below her like this, not even caring about himself but only her, his green eyes were enough to make her come alone. Harry placed a hand in her hair, gently pushing her ear close to his mouth.

“Come on me, baby.” He whispered again, voice rasping.

Y/N’s grip on Harry’s shoulders tightened once again as the tension in her core did the same. Her movements were frantic, needing the friction to increase and the fire in her lower stomach to build up into a bonfire of pleasure. Y/N bit down hard on her lip so she wouldn’t moan now that other people were in the room with them. All her nerves perked up, a climax not far away.

“Y/N?!”

Y/N sat upright faster than she thought possible, stopping as she was pressed flush against Harry’s torso.

“Y/N, you in here?!”

Tiana.

Y/N looked back at Harry who was just as shocked as she was. She had been gone for a while now so it made sense for Tiana to come looking for her. Didn’t mean she wanted her to right now. As Tiana started asking everyone by the sinks if they had seen her, Harry had thought of a solution.

“Your feet,” he whispered. “Put them around my waist.”

Y/N frowned, but Harry completely ignored her. He got her into a standing position, and gestured for her to straddle his lap. Once she had done that, lowered herself till her thighs were around him, Harry sat a little further out on the seat so she could put her legs behind him. To the outside world, it now only seemed like one person was using that stall as only Harry’s feet were showing. Like this, however, both of them knew Y/N couldn’t get off. The disappointment must have been transparent on Y/N’s face, because Harry moved his hand from where it rested at her lower back and onto her exposed thigh.

“I could…” Harry whispered, voice trailing off.

Once again it dawned on Y/N that they had never been closer than this. Harry’s breath met her lips now, heat from his body mingling with hers. She could smell the beer he’d had earlier and see that spec of brown in his left iris. Harry’s hand trailed upward, the tips of his fingers under Y/N’s skirt that was resting very far up on her thighs.

“Y/N, you have to tell me if you want me to or not.” He whispered, he rested his forehead against hers, and her heart picked up speed. “I won’t touch you unless you want me to.”

“I do.” She whispered back. “I do.”

“Y/N?!” Tiana shouted again, making both of them jump a bit and giggle. Y/N felt bad for not telling Tiana where she was, but she was sure her best friend would be okay once she told her what had happened with Harry.

Harry’s hand trailed up Y/N’s thigh, skimming the inside of it. His middle finger stroked up and down her knickers, feeling the wetness of them and driving Y/N completely mad. She bit her lip, watching as he sat back to admire her. Putting a little more pressure on her, Harry watched as Y/N let go of her lip, mouth falling open as he rubbed her bud. It was like it was impossible to take her eyes off him when he touched her like this, like every single movement started from somewhere deep in his eyes and then he touched her. He pulled her knickers aside, index and middle finger stroking between her folds, feeling very little inch of her exposed cunt. They rested at her hole, and Y/N swallowed, gasping a little for breath.

“This okay?” Harry whispered. “You okay with me doing this?”

Y/N nodded. And Harry pushed his fingers inside her. Y/N’s head fell back, mouth open as Harry drove them in and out of her. She hadn’t been far from an orgasm when she rode his thigh, but she knew without a doubt she would come quicker and harder with Harry fingering her like this. Curling his fingers, he pounded them harder and faster as he felt her hands on his shoulders grip so hard her nails almost pierced through his jumper and shirt. He was hitting that exact spot that was like throwing fuel into a flame, because Y/N felt nothing but her climax just then. A bubble that was about to burst, the pleasure inside of her was like white noise in her ears. Nothing but the feeling of Harry’s fingers, his hot body between her thighs, and his other hand on her lower back; nothing but that meant anything.

She looked at him again, frantic because the orgasm she was about to have would undoubtably make her legs shake. She leaned her forehead against his, the left side of her nose resting against his, and her eyes shut.

“That’s it.” Harry said, lips just barely moving.

Someone was blowing their hands dry. Someone else laughed. The bass from downstairs was shaking up the entire bathroom. But Y/N only cared about Harry’s fingers as they pounded her faster. She breathed harshly and maybe a bit too loudly, but she could not control herself. Harry’s eyes were open as he watched the bubble of Y/N’s orgasm burst. She gasped. It ran up her spine, her torso, down her thighs, and to her fingertips. She felt it everywhere, like it radiated off her entire body. It was like magic had found a place to hide inside of her, running through her like every incredible sensation the world had to offer. The orgasm toned down in waves and Y/N only realised once she opened her eyes again that her legs had been shaking. Harry smiled up at her, putting her knickers back in place and sitting back.

They stared at each other for a while, like nether could believe what had just happened. It wasn’t meant to happen. Neither had planned for it to. But it had. And Y/N didn’t feel ashamed, didn’t regret it, didn’t feel like apologising in the slightest. She was glad it had happened, in fact. Now she knew how Harry felt.

“Best fucking birthday gift I’ve ever gotten.” He said, voice still as husky as it had been when she had talked to her during.

Y/N rolled her eyes, smiling back at him. She could feel herself blushing. “This wasn’t your birthday gift.”

“No?”

She shook her head.

“But you didn’t give me one.”

Y/N put her feet on the floor again, getting up. “I won’t give you my… my… my below for your birthday.”

“Not what I meant, darling.” Harry said. “Watching you come was a cinematic masterpiece. And something I’ve wanted to see for a while now.”

Y/N bit her lip, and the two of them laughed. They agreed on Harry leaving the stall and the loo first, then Y/N would follow after she cleaned herself up. Once everyone who had been in there with them went out into the club again, Harry did the same, making Y/N promise not to avoid him down there later. She promised. After cleaning herself up and looking herself in the mirror afterward, making sure she didn’t look like a complete knob, she walked out of the toilet only to run straight into someone.

“Y/N!”

Tiana hugged her tight, but quickly pushed away, slapping her shoulder.

“You got me worried mad!”

“Sorry.”

Tiana looked at her for a while, then over her shoulder, then back again. “Just met Harry on the way up here.”

“Oh?” Y/N raised her eyebrows.

“Yea.”

“He must’ve been to the loo then.”

“Just like you.”

Y/N nodded. “Just like me, yea.”

Tiana smiled a little, cocking her head to the side. For some reason, she had always been good at reading situations, an ability that had always come in handy whenever the two of them wanted to be nosy together, but not now. Y/N sensed Tiana putting two and two together. So, raising her eyebrows, Y/N cocked her head back at her best friend.

“Have a bad stomach.” Y/N explained.

Tina raised her eyebrows. “Is that so?”

“Yea.”

“So, if I walk in that bathroom right now it’ll smell like shite?”

“Ti!”

“What?!” She grinned. “Just a question!”

“Can we leave, please? I’m tired.” Y/N sighed, knowing that the only way to make her story somewhat believable was for them to head back to Westbridge, even though her drunk self wanted to go downstairs and find Harry so they could dance together. Besides, she was wondering how he was… managing… after the episode they had just had. And she wanted to ask him how he had kept himself under control enough to go downstairs straight afterwards.

Tiana shrugged her shoulder, offering her hand to Y/N. “As you please, my lady.”

Y/N took Tiana’s hand, and the two went back downstairs to where Annie was waiting, relieved to see Y/N as well. All the girls got their coats, and then braved the coldness of the February night together. Arms linked and with Tiana singing a Rita Ora song they had played a remix of earlier while they were dancing, they strolled back to the flat together. But Y/N’s mind, and piece of her heart, was left somewhere by the bar in The Grand.

TAGLIST

@swayingnoodlelove @littlestyles @showk1ndness @sydneysuit @hallwayharry @emotionally-imbruised @fuckyeahimahobbit @beksjewels @harryisadogperson @harryrocksagoodsuit @ifiwereaboy2323 @tiostyles @maroonmolly @harrysroguecurl @awomanindeniall @justsaying20 @ot4narrie @miss-nxvxcaine @sunflowersandrockstars @hard-on-harry @emma070900 @shitibitmytonge @my--heroine @rainbowbutterflyboy @shegotthesalt @harrytreatspeoplewithkindnesss @mleestiles @bloodcastle30155 @harryskiwi2 @brielyse11 @for-fucks-sake-h @treat-harry-with-love @permanentllyharry @flooome @harryfeatcalum @mykissyharry @hydra-barnes @violets-parma @shadowsndaisies @messyherz 

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[memesfromstuff]

*: ･ﾟ✧   sherlock starters ( season one episode one.)

“ you just wrote ‘still has trust issues.’”

“ it’s going to take you a while to adjust to civilian life.”

“ nothing happens to me.”

“ get a cab.”

“ i never get cabs.”

“ is there any chance that these are murders?”

“ is this the work of a serial killer?”

“ we are all as safe as we want to be.”

“ you’re making us look like idiots.”

“ what happened?”

“ i got shot.”

“ come on, who’d want me for a flatmate?”

“ so, bad day, was it?”

“ you’re wearing lipstick. you weren’t wearing lipstick before.”

“ sorry, you were saying?”

“ i was wondering if you’d like to have coffee?”

“ bit different from my day.”

“ can i borrow your phone? there’s no signal on mine.”

“ what happened to the lipstick?”

“ really? i thought it was a big improvement.”

“ your mouth is too small now.”

“ how do you feel about the ___?”

“ sometimes i don’t talk for days on end.”

“ would that bother you?”

“ potential flatmates should know the worst about each other.”

“ who said anything about flatmates?”

“ we ought to be able to afford it.”

“ we’ve only just met and we’re going to go and look at a flat?”

“ problem?”

“ we don’t know a thing about each other.”

“ i don’t know where we’re meeting.”

“ i don’t even know your name.”

“ well, this could be very nice. very nice, indeed. soon as we get this rubbish cleaned up.”

“ well, obviously i can straighten things up a bit.”

“ that’s a skull.”

“ friend of mine. when i say ‘friend...’”

“ what do you think, then?”

“ oh, ___! the mess you’ve made!”

“ i looked you up on the internet last night.”

“ what’s new about this one?”

“ you wouldn’t have come to me otherwise.”

“ you know how they never leave notes? this one did.”

“ i need an assistant.”

“ brilliant! yes! four serial suicides and now a note. oh, it’s christmas!”

“ i’m your landlady/lord, dear, not your housekeeper.”

“ have a cup of tea, make yourself at home.”

“ but you’re more the sitting-down type. i can tell.”

“ just this once, dear, i’m not your housekeeper.”

“ want to see some more?”

“ no point sitting at home when there’s finally something fun going on!”

“ look at you, all happy. it’s not decent.”

“ who cares about decent? the game is on!”

“ ok, you’ve got questions.”

“ where are we going?”

“ who are you? what do you do?”

“ what do you think?”

“ only one in the world. i invented the job.”

“ what does that mean?”

“ there you go, you were right.”

“ i was right? right about what?”

“ that was amazing.”

“ it was extraordinary. quite extraordinary.”

“ that’s not what people normally say.”

“ what do people normally say?”

“ piss off.”

“ did i get anything wrong?”

“ spot on then. i didn’t expect to be right about everything.”

“ what exactly am i supposed to be doing here?”

“ i was invited.”

“ your deodorant told me that.”

“ shut up.”

“ i didn’t say anything.”

“ you were thinking. it’s annoying.”

“ yes, thank you for your input.”

“ i’m breaking every rule letting you in here.”

“ yes, because you need me.”

“ this is more fun.”

“ fun? there’s a wo/man lying dead.”

“ dear god, what’s it like in your funny little brains? must be so boring.”

“ do you know you do that out loud?”

[irphanfic]

drabbles 61??

okay, this took longer than expected I know, but hey, I really like how this turned out so I hope you enjoy!

61. Explain why there’s a bra under your bed.

“Ow!”Dan said as he felt the doorknob of the front door of his shared flathit his lower back, detaching himself from Phil’s lips.

Danmet the blue eyed a few weeks back at a university party. He had beenout with his flatmates to celebrate the end of the first semester ofthe year when while going to the bar he spotted Phil across the clubwith a few friends. No more than a few seconds later he knew he hadan instant crush.

Atthat time he didn’t even know the name of the stranger, justmentioning him in his head as the “pale black haired guy”, but itturned out know one of Dan’s flatmates, David, was friends with a fewpeople from that group, bringing all his flamates along to dance anddrink with them.

Aftera quick introduction, Dan got the stranger’s name. Phil. Phil Lester.It suited him.

Bothgroups ended up partying together that night, drinking shots here andthere till Dan was more, (so much more) than tipsy, utterly drunk hewould say, that he and Phil ended up dancing (well, mostly grinding)their bodies together, which led them to start making out against adark corner of the club till it was time to leave.

Aftera week, they coincided at another party, managing to get into thesame situation of hot griding followed by an intense making outsession that led to have questionable hickeys the following day.

Thisfollowed for a few Fridays and Saturdays, whenever they foundeachother at the club they would abandon their friends just to go andspend time together, not talking much, just the usual ‘how is unigoing?’ before their lips collided passionately for the rest of thenight.

Buttoday was different. Today it was Friday and Dan had been frustratedall week long. First, his classes had been going horribly wrongduring this whole week, he had a pretty serious argument with hisparents over the phone on Tuesday and they hadn’t talked since. Andif that wasn’t enough, he burnt his hand the other day while cooking,so yeah, it hadn’t been the best week for Dan and he just wanted toforget.

Forgetabout uni, forget about his family, forget about his burnt hand.

Andwhat was the best thing for that? Phil. Phil’s body against him,Phil’s lips kissing every inch of his face and neck… Yeah, heneeded Phil.

So,as he spotted Phil just entering the club, already a bit tipsy, hesnatched the blue eyed by the arm, not even giving him time to saygoodbye to his friends before leading them to the dancefloor,instantly grinding their bodies together at the same rythym of themusic that the DJ was playing, not even caring who saw.

“Eagertoday, uh?” Phil teased, grabbing Dan by the hips to bring him a bitcloser, making both of them gasp at the movement.

Danhummed and nodded at the same time, lacing his arms around Phil’sneck to bring their lips together as he had done so many timesbefore.

Philinstantly granted Dan access to his mouth, moaning at the contact ofthey tongues for a while, before the brown eyed detached their lipsand lowered his to Phil’s neck, who shuddered at the feeling, makingDan smirk at the effect he had on Phil.

Hetrailed back up and kissed Phil’s stubbly jaw before travelling tohis ear, “Wanna get out of this club? My flat will be empty… Wecan, you know…” Dan shout-whispered since the music was prettyloud.

Theyhad never gone further than a kissing and grinding, almost a handjobone time, but they decided that it didn’t feel right at the moment sothey stopped but now Dan wanted nothing more than to bring Phil to his bed all night and make him breakfast in the morning after doingeverything but sleeping.

Onlyif Phil also wanted to, of course. “If you want, of course. If youdon’t we can always stay here or stop kissing or…” Dan added,kissing his cheek before looking into those pretty blue eyes.

Philstared at Dan for a moment, making him dobut if he had been wrong forasking, but the grin and peck he received said otherwise.

“Leadthe way, Howell.”

Sothat’s how Dan found himself against his front door at 3am in themorning, trying to open the godamm door as gracefuly as he could withPhil attached at his neck, probably marking a hickey that would stillbe there for the following week.

OnceDan had somehow opened it and entered his flat, Phil separted a bitonly to close teh door and start kissing Dan again, making both ofthe walk all the hallway backwards, (how they were managing no totrip with anything Dan would never know) not even caring to switch onthe lights so they could see something.

Dancould feel his senses clouding even more as Phil pushed him against adoor and started kissing him everywhere, lips, face, neck,coallarbones… at the same time he was trying to undress him fromhis moth-patterned shirt, making the brown haired feel even morearoused than ever.

“mmm…th… bedroom?” Phil’s hoarse and cracked voice startled Dan fromhis daze, making him almost not undersand anything so he just noddedto whatever the blue eyed had said and with a twist of his arms heopened the door, reattaching their mouths together, walking alsobackwards all the way to the bed where he fell down, dragging Phildown with him, soft pillows messing up his curls even more.

Theycontinued making out for a while, hands roaming lower and lower everypassing minute, discarding articles of clothing here and there, asDan felt the weight of the black haired on top of him, loving the waytheir bodies fit perfectly together.

Oncethey both where only with their boxers, their arousals prettynoticeable at this point, Dan couldn’t wait for more, “Phil… Ineed… I need you.”

Philkissed him sofly, murmuring an almost quiet “Okay” before liftinghimself on his forearms a bit to look at Dan, “You sure?”

Dansmiled at his sweetness and nodded, “Yes, you?”

Philgrinned before asking where the condoms and lube were, kissing Dan afew times on his jaw and neck, not letting him answer properly.

“Just…in the bed… bedside drawer” Dan said panting, as he felt Phil movehis left hand around in his search of the items.

Philmanaged to open it with such force that he managed to knock afigurine that had been standing there onto the floor.

Danwhined, trying to convince Phil that he could pick it up later, butthe blue eyed ignored him and picked it up from under the bed towhere it had rolled to, managing to pick up a particular thing thathe hadn’t expected to find in Dan’s bed at all.

“Dan…care to… explain why there’s a bra under your bed.” Phil saidslowly, taking out said bra from under the bed, a pastel pink brawith white lace on it, forming delicate flowers on the straps.

“What!?A bra!? What the…?” Dan shockedly shouted, trying to stand up abit straighter on the bed with a bit of difficulty since Phil wasstill on top of him, straddling him.

Dansnatched the bra out of Phil’s hands and tried to examine it a bitbetter, he had seen this before…

Helooked back at Phil who looked a bit surprised with a hint ofsadness? He couldn’t place it, it was so dark in his bedroom that hehardly could see Phil’s face.

Wait,his bedroom wasn’t this dark. He never drew back the curtains sincehe was scared of the dark, he needed the see the reasuring streetlights always before going to sleep.

Withoutthink much, he switched on the bedside lamp that was next to them,instantly taking in the surrounding bedroom.

Itwas Louise’s bedroom! They had fucking entered his flatmate Louise’sbedroom and that’s why there was a bra under the bed!

Justbefore entering Dan hadn’t even noticed this wasn’t his bedroom, hehad been so entranced by Phil’s ministrations that he hadn’t lookedaround to see if he was in the right room.

Healmost had sex in Louise’s bed. Oh God.  

“Wow,I know you said black was your favourite colour but this shade ofpink is nice too. Pretty calming,” Phil commented as he lookedaround, spotting a few flowered cushions along with some motivationalposters on the walls.

Dangroaned as he threw himself against the pillows, “Phil, this is notmy bedroom. This is Louise’s, we freaking entered the wrongbedroom!” he chuckled.

Itwas funny, he would admit that.

“Oh…Oh! So that’s why there was a bra under the bed,” Phil realized,exhaling a bit as he smiled.

“Phil,I have not been with anyone since I met you,” Dan said, drawing hisarm to lay a hand on Phil’s cheek, giving him a peck on the lips. Asign of reassuring that he was sure the blue eyed needed at thatmoment.

“So…are you still interested in seeing my bedroom?” Dan said, wigglinghis eyebrows up and down suggestively, making Phil laugh, whoinstanly nodded and squealed as Dan picked him up, managing to enterthe right bedroom this time, throwing Phil on the bed, this time Danstraddling him, as he continued his heated kisses, followed bywandering hands and loud moans that a damned bra had interrupted.

Needlessto say Louise made Dan clean her whole bedroom the next morning asshe spotted all their clothes around her bed, but at least he hadPhil feeding him pancakes with kisses every few minutes that madecleaning even more bearable.

prompt me a number!

[boy-at-a-bus-stop]

does anyone ever read the shit i write up here? it would make sense to read it, at least sometimes. So this is the 8th chapter, and i guess it’s a bit shorter than most of the others but i love it, i really do. There are a few songs mentioned in this chapter and it would make sense to listen them… And i used different quotation signs this time, i hope tumblr likes these better… and i hope there aren’t too many typos in here… anyway, i hope you enjoy this chapter as much as i do, and thanks for reading

Eight

I didn’t call Josh that day. I didn’t call him even though I had said that I would. I felt like Josh just needed some time on his own, some time to sober up again and some time to think about everything that had happened. To really think about it, not just wish it hadn’t happened. I felt like this was the perfect time for him to do so. He knew that I would talk to Bob and that I did my best to help him. And that John did the same. He still needed the time. And I probably needed some time, too.

The things John had said were still stuck in my head and I had come to the conclusion that he was right and that I shouldn’t worry that much. Things shouldn’t be that hard, hard? Especially when it comes to these hinds of things. They should just work out, at least in the beginning they should. Because if they don’t and if things feel wrong in one way or another, there is no way for this to work out. And I don’t want to say that there was anything that felt wrong between Josh and I, no, it felt great to be honest, yes I was confused as fuck but it still felt great, I just felt that I wasn’t enjoying this feeling of having someone I could connect with enough. I felt like my worry was destroying this great feeling - and that it might even be destroying our friendship and whatever it might or might  not have been turning into. 

So I didn’t call Josh that day, I did other things instead, things like cleaning the apartment, reading, listening to music, the kind of stuff you do when you don’t have to work and you don’t really have plans. I talked to my dad on the phone, he and Michelle had arrived  in Illinois safely but they were tired so we didn’t talk for long. Then Susan called me a bit later and we talked for about 20 minutes  but.. she really started getting on my nerves after a bit so I came up with some kind of excuse so that I could hang up and wouldn’t have to talk to her any longer. I personally really feel like doing something like this is actually beneficial for friendships, even if it may not seem all too nice at first. You just need to look at it this way: If I hadn’t done this and just would have kept talking to Susan I would definitely have become more and more annoyed by the minute. And if i’m annoyed I get really pissy so Susan would definitely have noticed that there was something wrong. In the end we would probably have fought. So it is better if I end the call before we get that far, right?

I didn’t do much after that and I went to bed quite early and for the first time in what felt like forever I actually slept well. I don’t think that these every-day things are interesting to you so I won’t go into detail here.  I just know that I normally don’t really care about what a person exactly does before they go to bed and whether they braid their hair before they go to bed. I mean everyone knows how these things work, right? So I (for once) won’t spam you with unnecessary information. Let’s just say I went to bed early, okay? And I woke up late, around 12 pm actually, this time feeling fresh and ready to start another day. Yeah, I just said i’d start another day at 12 pm. Better latter than never, right? I stayed in bed for a bit after I woke up, I just didn’t feel like leaving the magical place that is my bed right away. 

I finally did crawl out of my bed nevertheless, being hungry and thirsty isn’t that nice after all so I came to the conclusion that it would be better to leave my warm and comfy bed to get something to eat and drink. I had just sat down at the table with a glass of milk and a bowl of cereal when my cellphone rang. I took a look at it, wondering who was calling me and saw that it was Sophia (my flatmate I told you about earlier). I answered the phone and before I could even say ‘hello’ Sophia started talking in a hysteric way (and she seemingly forgot that I didn’t speak a single word of Portuguese because the first few sentences she said were in Portuguese) and ended her (useless) speech with a equally hysteric, »Where the fuck are you?« All of sudden it all made perfect sense to me: I had totally forgotten that Sophia returned from her vacation in Brazil that day and that I was supposed to pick her up at the airport. »Fuck«, was all I said before hanging up and searching my keys. When I had found them I headed straight to the door, put on my shoes and left, still in my Pjs. Yeah, better don’t ask, I drove to the airport in my Pjs, my hair was a mess, I hadn’t even brushed my teeth but in this moment I didn’t care. I didn’t want to let Sophia wait any longer than she already had, I didn’t want to let her down. 

I drove to the airport as fast as I could (which wasn’t that fast even though it wasn’t rush hour) and called Sophia when I had reached it. It took us a few more minutes to find each other in the huge airport. When I finally spotted her in the crowd of people leaving the airport I ran towards her, I really didn’t care about my looks at all in that moment. »Sophia, i’m so sorry, I really forgot«, I then said as I hugged her.  »It’s fine, don’t worry, i’m sorry if I made you feel guilty or something earlier on, I was just really stressed and kind of pissed when you were nowhere to be seen, I just really want to go home…«, Sophia mumbled and then pulled away, looking at me with her dark brown eyes. She really looked exhausted. »By the way, why are you still wearing pajamas?!«, Sophia then asked, a tired smile forming on her face. »Oh, uh«, I looked down and smiled myself, »I had just gotten up when you called me and I left right after hanging up« Sophia’s smile grew a bit bigger, »Oh my god this is such a typical thing to do for you. I’m so glad to be back, I missed you« »I missed  you too. Come on, let’s go«

We got into the car and I drove home, Sophia sitting on the passenger seat with her eyes closed. We didn’t talk on our way home and because I hadn’t turned on the car radio the only noises one could hear were the noises the engine made. We soon reached the apartment building and I helped Sophia carrying her luggage up the stairs to our apartment. As we approached the front door I saw that there was something laying on the doormat. I bent down to have a closer look at it when I was standing right in front of the door and came to see that it was a small cardboard box and a piece of paper laying underneath it. I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering who could have put this on my doormat. »Oh, Ally, is there something you should tell me?«, Sophia said as the came closer and saw me standing in front of the door with the cardboard boy and the piece of paper in hand, a small smile on her face, »You never told me about your secret admirer« I rolled my eyes at her comments. »Don’t you want to just go back to Brazil?«, I asked in a sarcastic tone while I locked open the door and walked in, Sophia’s bag in one hand and the cardboard box plus piece of paper in the other one. Sophia ignored my questions and went straight into her bedroom where she just laid down on her bed. 

I saw that my glass of milk and my bowl of cereal were still standing on the living room table, of course they were, I mean I hadn’t even touched them before leaving. Since the milk and cereal were uneatable by now and I was sure that Sophia was just as hungry as me I decided to order pizza. While waiting for the pizza I took a closer look at the things that had been laying on the doormat. First I unfolded the piece of paper and started to decipher the quite small handwriting. To my great surprise the piece of paper turned out to be a short note from Josh, and it said the following:

Hi A…

I’m sorry if this is weird to you and I completely understand it if you find this too awkward but I hope you don’t. I just wanted to thank you for helping me… and apologize for making things complicated. So I made this for you, I hope you like it. These are some of my favorite songs…

btw Bob apologized to me. I’m in the band again, thank you.

And I hope you have a cassette player.

J…

I smiled to myself and laid the note on the table, my hands shaking and my heart pounding as I opened the cardboard box. Inside was an audio cassette, clearly a mixtape Josh had made for me. There was a piece of paper with the titles of the songs on the tape in the plastic box the cassette was in. According to this note the cassette had the following songs on it.

I’m waiting for the day - the Beach Boys

. All Along the Watchtower - Bob Dylan

Purple Haze - Jimi Hendrix Experience

the Twilight Zone - Rush

Us and Them - Pink Floyd

To the End - Blur

No Surprises - Radiohead

Ocean Size - Jane’s Addiction

Wishlist - Pearl Jam

Fell on Black Days - Soundgarden

Heroes - David Bowie

Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin

I knew almost all the songs on the mixtape already but I still decided to take the time and listen to it start to finish so I put the tape and the note aside and waited for the pizza to be delivered. While waiting I read Josh’s note again and again. I couldn’t believe that Josh had made a mixtape for me, no one had ever done something as nice and sweet for me. I really appreciated this, and I couldn’t stop smiling to myself while Sophia and I were eating in the living room. 

»So, who’s that secret admirer of yours?«, my flatmate asked after a bit. »What? Who?« »Well, someone must have put this cardboard box in front of our door, and I suppose that it wasn’t Santa Claus«, Sophia said, rolling her eyes at me. »Don’t call him that«, I giggled, »that sounds as if he was a stalker or something!« Sophia  smiled, »But he is your secret admirer, right?« I felt myself blushing and just silently shook my head. »Oh, Ally«, my flatmate laughed, »Come on, tell me more« »There’s nothing to tell you, really« »Yeah, for sure…«, Sophia said in a sarcastic tone, then she reached for my the cardboard box that was still standing on the table but I was faster than her, grabbed it myself and put it out of her reach. »What’s in there?«, she asked. »Nothing of your interest«, I mumbled. »Come ooooon, who’s the mysterious guy and what did he get you?«, Sophia whined, desperate to learn more about my ‘secret admirer’. »Could you please calm down?!«, I muttered. »Only if you tell me more about your lover«, she whispered and winked at me. I sighed but giggled, »Okay… First of all, he’s NOT my lover, and he’s not my secret admirer« Sophia raised her eyebrows at me but didn’t say anything. »He’s a friend - a very good friend, I admit that, but he’s not my lover, he’s not my secret admirer and he’s not my boyfriend«, I continued and then silently added , »At least not yet«

»What’s his name?«, Sophia asked, it seemed like she really hadn’t heard what I had said to myself. »Josh«, I responded and as I said his name I felt a smile forming on my face, »Joshua Adam Klinghoffer…« »Wow, what a name «, Sophia laughed, »Tell me more about him « So I told her more about Josh and I won’t repeat all I told her since you already know all these things. After I had finished talking Sophia said, »Oh god Ally, you should see yourself, you look so happy when you’re talking about him« I felt myself blush and looked down at the table. »So, what did he get you? What’s in that cardboard box?«, she asked after a few minutes of silence. »Um, he didn’t really get me anything, but… He made me a mixtape with some of his favorite songs on it«, I responded, looking at the box. »OH. MY. GOD. That’s so cute!«, Sophia shrieked. I laughed at her reaction, she was so wonderfully emotional. Just in that moment I felt how much I had missed her. I mean yeah, she may be annoying from time to time, she may be a bit over the top with her emotions and her love for drama, but at the end of the day she is one of my best friends. And even though I didn’t mind spending a few days or even weeks without her and even though it took me a while to see it, I had really missed her while she hadn’t been there. The apartment had been awfully empty and lifeless without her. Sophia yawned, »I should probably go to bed now, though, I’m so freaking tired« I giggled, then sighed and looked at her. »I’m so glad you’re back« She smiled at me and responded, »Me too, it feels so good to be back, to be home«

Sophia hugged me before disappearing into her room, a small smile on her face. I threw away the empty pizza boxes before entering my own room and searching my walkman, I couldn’t wait for listening to Josh’s mixtape even though I already knew most of the songs (as I already said before). I just felt that this was special, this was something Josh had made for me, these were some of his favorite songs, and he had made this mixtape just for me. And even if this might not seem like a big deal to you, it definitely was a big deal to me, this was special to me. It took me some time to find my it, compact cassettes weren’t exactly the audio format I used the most so I didn’t use my walkman that often and I was so glad I hadn’t thrown it away by that time. When I finally found it I put the tape in it, put my headphones on and pressed play. 

I listened to the mixtape start to finish for a few times, enjoying it with every fiber of my heart and soul. Josh had again proved his great taste in music to me. And this tape was definitely one of the best things anyone had ever given to me. I loved every song on there and I enjoyed every second of listening to these songs Josh had chosen to give to me on this mixtape, the songs he wanted me to hear and maybe the songs he wanted to remind me of him. I was playing the tape over and over again, not even noticing that there was almost three minutes of silence ‘recorded’ on the tape after the last song. I just listened to the songs on it over and over again for literally days.

So it’s no wonder that it took me so long to notice. And I probably wouldn’t have noticed it at all myself. It was Sophia who brought it up. We were sitting on the couch in the living room two days later (and I had already thanked Josh for the tape by then but he didn’t react to my text messages which I found kinda awkward) and listened to the mixtape through her boombox and when Stairway to Heaven had finished I got up from the couch to rewind the cassette when Sophia said, »Wait a second, I feel like this wasn’t the last recording on the tape « I looked at her confused, »What do you mean? This was the twelfth  song, the last one on the list. I listened to this a thousand times, I would have noticed if there was one more track on there« Sophia looked me deep in the eyes, »Come on, it won’t hurt you, will it? I really feel like there’s a hidden track on there or something« »Yeah, for sure, a hidden track on a mixtape «, I laughed. I sat back down though, and waited for the minute long silence to prove Sophia wrong. Just when I took a breath to say something along the lines of, »See, no hidden track, there’s no 13th track on there« I heard something. 

It sounded like someone was cleaning his throat, I looked at Sophia and she was looking back at me with big eyes. It seemed like she hadn’t really expected this either. I quickly pressed the 'pause’-button on the boombox, as much as I appreciated Sophia’s friendship, I felt like this, whatever it would turn out to be, wasn’t supposed to be heard by anyone but me. I just as quickly put the cassette into my walkman, put on the headphones and pressed 'play’ while walking into my bedroom and closing the door behind me. I felt my heart race as I sat down on my bed.

»Um, hi, it’s me«, I heard Josh’s voice say, then there was a nervous giggling and some more silence, »What shall I say? Um, I really, really hoped  you’d find this… which might seem kinda weird, I mean after all I hid it, didn’t I? Hiding something and hoping for a certain person to find it is a bit paradoxical, i’m aware of that«, again there was a bit of nervous laughter to be heard on the recording, »but well, that’s just who I am. And… um… I just wanted to ask if… if you’d like to spend some more time with me. Like, actually spend time with me, not just sitting around in the studio while i’m there… I mean, i’m not asking for a date… I kind of am, though. Um, okay, so… please just let me know if you heard this and if you want to spend more time with me or… okay, I guess i’ll just stop wasting your time now, I don’t really know what to say anymore… okay, bye« 

With that the recording ended. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. Had this really happened? Had Josh just asked me for a date? Had he just asked me for a date through a hidden track on a mixtape he had made for me? I really couldn’t believe it. I felt incredibly happy, shocked and overwhelmed at the same time. This clearly explained why he hadn’t responded to my text messages, he must have thought that I was just ignoring his message on the tape, that I didn’t want to go out with him or just spend more time with him and that he had embarrassed himself. But he really hadn’t. This was the best thing that could have happened, the cutest idea ever. I couldn’t believe it. I listened to the short hidden recording of his voice over and over again, trying to make myself understand that this was real.

I resisted the urge to immediately text Josh and forced myself to lay down on my bed for a bit and try to calm down. I didn’t really succeed. I was way too excited about this, I was way too excited about what had just happened. So I went back into the living room where Sophia was still sitting on the couch, seemingly waiting for me to come back and report to her on what I had just heard on the tape. I couldn’t really find the words to tell her what had happened, though, so I just stood in front of her, trying to figure out what had happened and how I was felling. And trust me, this wasn’t an easy thing to do at all. 

»Josh… he…«, I stuttered, »I… he… I need to talk to him right now, like, in person« Sophia laughed, »Oh Ally, seems like whatever he did, he did the right thing« I couldn’t stop smiling, »Yeah I guess he did« Just a few minutes later I was on my way to Josh’s place, driving down the roads of LA as the nautical dusk made the sky turn bright red and the many lights that illuminated the city at night were switched on one after the other. I was still listening to the mixtape, my car had a cassette player. And as I drove down the roads I remembered John’s words and thought, maybe Josh’s soul and mine really were meant to be together. Maybe.

[bee-careful]

Witch Au Fic Rec

The Sweetest Incantation 40k

Harry has been alive for decades, and yet he’s never been as confused and dumbfounded. He’s a witch, for God’s sake. Can’t get much weirder than all the magical things he’s experienced throughout his lifetime. Never in a million years, however, would he have expected to be mere inches away from a hybrid.

Or: Harry is a witch who’s still working on developing his powers and Louis is a werecat who falls into his life and turns it upside down.

love is divine 25k

Being a witch doesn’t help when it comes to unrequited love.

you’ve got this spell on me (everything you do is magic) ˜3k

Harry accidentally turns Louis into a cat. He doesn’t know how he’s going to fix it, but he does know he’d better do so before he has to deal with Louis’s wrath.

come on, jump out at me 7k

(first one of the domestic monsters series)

Harry is a witch from a long line of power, an ancient line that’s one of the strongest left alive in their hemisphere. He can cast spells without a word if need be, fly on a broomstick, and has a black cat (a kitten, really) named Felix that is his animal familiar. He can shape galaxies in his cupped hands and can destroy them just as easily. He can choose exactly how to use his power, for encouragement and support, or for more nefarious causes if he wishes to.

And as fate would have it, he’s scared of haunted houses.

(Harry is a witch who carries around a stuffed pumpkin, Louis is a vampire with too much time on his hands, and their best mates Zayn & Niall aren’t exactly what they seem…)

wherever you are is the place i belong 10k

(second one of the domestic monsters series)

So a witch, a vampire, a werewolf, and a siren all move into a house together… It’s not a joke, it’s Harry Styles’ life, but sometimes it feels that way.

(Niall and Zayn get jobs, Harry cleans out his feelings, and Louis learns some very interesting things about one of his new flatmates…)

spaces between us hold all our secrets ˜20k

(third one of the domestic monsters series)

The house in Greater Gloomingshire just gets stranger and stranger: Mysterious comings and goings, sneaky glances, and secrets that nobody seems willing to share. Yet.

(Zayn threatens Louis with bodily harm, Niall wolfs out, and when it comes to investigating his flatmates, Detective Harry is on the case!)

i wanna reach out for you (i wanna break these walls) 31k

(fourth one of the domestic monsters series)

The wolf’s out of the bag, the witch is out of the broom closet, the siren’s out of the ocean, and the vampire’s out of the…coffin? Everybody knows about everybody now, but it’s not always so easy, rooming with the supernatural.

(the household shifts and changes, Detective Harry is on the case again, and Louis has to come to terms with who he wants to be.)

if i didn’t have you, i’d never see the sun 16k

(fifth one of the domestic monsters series)

Everything changes when you have a roommate who doesn’t Get It.

(Liam has trouble with inanimate objects, Harry blows things up, Niall is a brat, and Louis finally talks about his life B.V. - Before Vampirism.)

you will find me in places that we’ve never been 12k

(sixth one of the domestic monsters series)

1313 Willow Wisp Lane has seen many things over the course of its long life as a house, but never has it seen a surprise party consisting of an undead king, a witch who can conjure sunlight, a werewolf who doubles as a pastry chef, and a mystery.

(Louis reveals more about his past, Harry makes it rain, Niall makes food, and everyone wonders about Liam.)

i’ll make this feel like home 42k

(seventh one of the domestic monsters series)

It’s St. Patrick’s Day at the house in Greater Gloomingshire….in September.

(Liam’s “secret” is revealed, Zayn returns, Niall eats some cupcakes, while Harry and Louis both have to face the past - and the future.)

when the wolves come out 62k

(eighth one of the domestic monsters series)

Halloween is swiftly approaching; now, if only they could enjoy it.

(Gemma comes to visit, the crows may or may not be spies, and a spirit is laid to rest.)

we will find a way through the dark 31k (wip)

(ninth one of the domestic monsters series)

Louis is tired of running and Harry’s got his back.

(Harry sort-of exorcises a ghost, a Mustang is destroyed, and Louis discovers travel by mirror is not at all what it’s cracked up to be.

Far Afield 11k 

(part 1)

Harry Styles is a witch who owns the best flower shop in Manchester. Lottie Tomlinson is planning her wedding, and brings her brother along to her first appointment. Both men have been having a bad day and sparks fly.

Suited for You 4k

(part 2)

“Louis Tomlinson, you have had that suit for almost ten years. It is time to get a new one, and it is time to get a good one.” Unfortunately, he could tell his mother wouldn’t budge. The discussion was over. They said goodbye, and Louis immediately dialed his sister Lottie.

She picked up straight away, “You have to get the suit, Lou.”                          

“Argh!” Louis yelled, hanging up on her. He missed his old flip phone, hanging up on someone was so much more satisfying.                                   

Louis’ family convinces him that he needs a new suit for some upcoming special events in his life.

It’s All Been Done (Before) 17k

Lilo 

Zayn isn’t normal for two reasons. One, he’s a warlock. Two, he’s Crown Prince of said warlocks. Witches too, actually. Not Wizards though. Those imbeciles give magic a bad name. Especially the one named Liam. He’s particularly awful. It’s too bad that they end up falling in love.

Through centuries of war, revolution, art and innovation; Zayn tries to stay away from Liam, until he can’t

Bewitched 160k

“So what’s your problem, mister?”

“I’m married to a witch.” says Louis, disbelievingly, shaking his head slightly, swirling the ice around in his shot glass. “My spouse is a witch.”

“Cheer up.“ says the Bartender "You should see my wife.”

Louis doubts that his wife is a real spell-casting, cloak-wearing, cauldron stirring, witch, like his new husband, Harry.

But, Louis suspects that nothing could surprise him anymore. Not Harry’s magical friends, not his literally disappearing sister or even the way that Harry’s able to clean a kitchen in 2 seconds.

Louis had always thought that Harry was charming, he just didn’t know how much.

Adaption of the hysterical and wonderful 1960’s tv show, starring, of course, 1D; each chapter is self contained within the universe.

Spellbound 62k (wip)

Louis Tomlinson leads a charmed life. Not because of his good job, nice house or the fact that he’s happily married; despite all those things being true.

No, Louis lives a charmed life because of the fact that his best friends, in laws and (perfect) husband all happen to be magical beings.

And just as he’s getting used to things like his sister in law literally popping in unannounced, or watching his husband turn people into animals, a new bundle of joy arrives and throws a wrench into the works.

But, you know what? Louis wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sequel to Bewitched

a long way down (to the bottom of the river) 24k

“ Most people would call Harry silly for believing in curses. Childish would also be a probable insult thrown his way. In their little town full of little people, Harry’s whimsical nature and beliefs mean that he’s subjected to frequent judgemental looks and whispers. It doesn’t usually bother him. Most people don’t know about the magic thrumming through his veins or about how powerful words can truly be. Most people don’t carry around their ancestors grief like a burden. They don’t have to pay for deeds hundreds of years old like Harry and his family have. They get to love freely without fear.

Harry and his kin aren’t so lucky.”

a practical magic au in which Harry and his sister accidentally kill her abusive boyfriend with magic and Louis is the D.I working the case.

wash him deep where the tides are turning 3k

"When Harry finally tells Louis about his family’s curse and the true love spell that broke it, they’ve been dating for seven months, nineteen days and about twelve hours and Louis’ cock is buried deep inside his arse.”

Part two of a practical magic au.

taken by the wind 8k

When he decided to move to London with his sister, Harry thought he would finally get to learn how to control his magic. He couldn’t possibly have predicted that he would fall for her neighbour.

Or the one where Harry is a clumsy witch and Louis is making everything worse just by existing.

baby, we could be enough 3k

ot5

A few weeks later, they’ve finally begun to settle in, and it’s time for Liam’s first in-home transformation.

He’s dreading it.

Keep Me In Your Pocket 3k

Louis has been living in a teapot since he was miniaturised by a witch, but Harry is determined to break the curse.

take a sip from my secret potion (falling in love) 6k

After running away to Pendle, Louis is being haunted by some angry spirits, and so he seeks solace in Worst Witch Harry Styles. Louis is looking for a potion to fix his problems, but the answer may be a bit simpler than that.

Nocturnal Creatures Are Not So Prudent 24k

Witch!Louis

Louis spins a finger in midair, like he’s indicating someone to turn around, staring pointedly at Liam as the faucet turns itself on and the can rinses itself in the sink behind him. Liam, moon burn him, doesn’t rise to the bait, choosing instead to lean back on his stool and wrapping his hands around his own mug.

“Anyway, like I was saying and that you were ignoring, there’s this new club near my school and I want you to go with me. Could do you some good, getting out once in awhile.”

Louis is a white witch with a little black cat named Hemlock and a best human friend Liam (they’re a lot like Samantha Stephens and Louise Tate). When he’s dragged out to a new club Liam’s heard about from a friend and classmate, Louis comes face to face with that which witches do not touch: a charming vampire by the name of Harry.

Everything You Do Is Magic 5k

October is a month of magic. Most carry on with their lives thinking that leaves change color from science and that the pumpkins no one has seen growing all year actually came from the ground. But others know the truth. That some possess the power to create life and take it away. Harry was one of those people.

(or the one where Harry and Zayn are witches, Liam and Louis are new in town, Niall may or may not be magic, and Harry thinks nothings better than the feeling of magic, till something is)

Try Refusing A Million Times (But You’re in Love) 16k

Harry’s a witch selling tea and sweets in The Umbrella, a shop he and his best mate Niall have just opened. But on ‘Official Opening Day’ he runs into Louis, and there the chaos ensues when Harry’s magic trickles into Louis. With Niall and Zayn at his side, it’s a regular quest for love: either Harry gets his magic back from the forbidden Louis whose dating Liam, or he performs a dark ritual on himself to save himself from Louis’ madness that he most certainly will not survive

[i-am-adlocked]

[soulmate au] Everything is Grey

The world is black and white until one meets the other half. FRIENDSHIP, FLUFF, TRAGEDY By CA Hawkins WORD COUNT: 5701

AN: Here it is, an original story by moi. Idea came from Tumblr tho.

I’ve always found it so amusing when the coloured-eyed describe colours to the greyed-eyed. You meet and go with people who complain and look around for clothes to match their shoes, their eyes, their shirt... and you understand why: because they can see colours—because they’ve met their soulmates.

I had always envied them.

Not everyone has met their soulmates but had still ended up with the people they love. Some met their soulmates with their best friends. Some romantic soulmate relationships end due to the fact that they are destined to be together platonically.

The universe may say who your soulmate is—but you can never be sure what your fate together will be.

Speaking of fate, I have four best friends whom I love with all my heart. I don’t think they’ve met their soulmates yet either.

Two girls and two boys.

We all met about six years ago when we were all chosen from our university for some government research I cannot talk about in public... but even though we had finished the research after two quick months (much to the surprise of our superiors), the five of us had kept in touch and we had always spent some time together—mostly drinking in a pub.

Eventually, we all moved to the same city since we all love it here—in London. None of us have close relatives anyway and so we consider ourselves as a family.

Lawrence is a quiet kind of bloke, but he always keeps everyone smiling. He drives us everywhere and he seems to know every pub in the city—which is great! He is a bit shy with the ladies, though. I don’t know why he’s so insecure... He’s the most knowledgeable one in the group and he’s also incredibly sweet.

Sweeney is a rather sarcastic snob and a bit of an arsehole (maybe not a bit) but we keep him in our little family—only because he is extremely loyal and he will, apparently, die in our name. Of course, we also love him... unfortunately.

Felicity is loud. She loves cracking jokes and she loves playing guitar. She’s a heavy drinker but never gets a hangover—flirty but has great integrity—rather brilliant in her own explicable way, and a bit self-centred at times, but would also sit beside you all night if you need it.

Scarlett, my best friend, isn’t very talkative. She most likely has a lot of secrets and is definitely the most mysterious of us all. Oh she’s the most brilliant person I had ever met, and I don’t think there’s anything she can’t do... Oh, wait, she was a bloody horrible flatmate (but she moved in with Lawrence four years ago because his flat is closer to her work than mine)... and a bit of a lazy git at times, but that’s her in a nutshell. 

Still, despite their differences, I’m glad that they were all rather happy for me when I told them that I can finally see colours.

They ask me what it was like, and how it feels like.

“Well... it’s hard to explain,” I answer. Ironically, that’s the answer I hated the most when I asked colleagues before, back when I was greyed-eyed. Well, it is hard to describe.

“How did it happen?” Lawrence asks, interrupting. He always knows what’s the right thing to say or ask. That’s why he’s our group’s leader so to speak.

I tell them the day I first met my boyfriend. 

The first colour I saw was his beautiful brown eyes. I knew then what my favourite colour is: Brown... like the colour of chocolate (I’m still giddy that I can finally understand people when they associate colour with descriptions).

I tell them that Scarlett and I were heading to the pub—just the two of us to hang out—and we decided to go through the park for a shortcut. When I got distracted by a really good violinist who was performing in the middle of the park, Scarlett decided to be a bitch and ditched me... again.

I decided to ask the man nearest to me if he had seen a woman wearing a scarf. When he turned around and looked at me, that’s when the colours exploded in front of me.

I bet we both looked liked two idiot boys, standing in the middle of the park, mouths agape, looking at the world for the first time. Well, to be honest, we kind of did look at the world for the first time—in colour.

“So, this is what the sky looks like,” he whispered to himself, looking up at the blue colour of the sky everyone talked about.

“And this is what green looks like,” I whispered back, looking down at the grass, or is it green? There are so many colours.

I tell my friends that I almost cried that day—that i was so overwhelmed with the plethora of colours and the emotion that I’m seeing the world for the first time. I thought I was going to hyperventilate with happiness.

“God, this is so beautiful,” I whispered to the stranger.

“Howard Ainsley.” He smiled at me, offering his hand.

“Winter Elingston,” I replied, breathing out.

I was talking to my soulmate, for goodness’ sake! I never knew this would happen in such a boring frustrated day. To think that I was merely going to ask a stranger for directions, then boom fucking colours everywhere.

I will never forget that look of surprise on his face.

“Nice to finally meet you,” he told me with a sweet foolish grin.

“Likewise,” I replied, smiling sweetly. 

The universe... the colours are so... beautiful...

“You’re lucky,” Felicity comments after the silence when i’m done telling them the story.

“I know,” I reply honestly.

I look around the pub—the flashing lights on the dance floor that used to be only bright lights—the number of glasses on the shelves in different shades of the window—the plethora of different shirts in different colours... I might never get used to seeing them...

The world is beautiful—fucked up, of course, but still beautiful.

O N E   Y E A R   L A T E R

I’ve been with Howard for a long long time and I had been asked on what my favourite colour is. For a long time, I’ve always wanted to be asked about this. now, I can never stop feeling the happiness of the realisation that I am so used to this question.

To the colour-eyed, this question becomes a part of their normalcy and it can be easy to forget that not all people are coloured-eyed.

That is my mistake.

“What’s your favourite colour?” I accidentally ask Scarlett, who is spending a week in my flat because I insisted her to.

As much as I love Howard visiting me in my lonely flat, I still miss my best friend making her own mess everywhere. It’s boring not to clean up blood (borrowed from the hospital) on the floor and other internal organs cluttered around the kitchen (borrowed from somewhere Scarlett won’t tell me about).

My thoughts about my best friend dissipate at the glare she is giving me. Realising what I had just asked, I shrink in embarrassment.

“Oh God, sorry,” I say, blushing.

“It’s quite alright,” she says in her usual cool tone, but I notice a slight edge in it. “You’re already coloured-eyed. It’s your version of normal, of course. Alas, for me, still, everything is grey,” Scarlett continues, gesturing around in a theatrical manner, “and it probably will for a long long time—forever even.” She shrugs.

Pity. It’s a shame she can’t exactly see how beautifully blue her eyes are. Before, I’ve always thought they were so pale—almost white... but no, they’re startlingly blue. As for me, I just found out I’ve always had dark sea-green eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I mutter again.

“Elingston, stop apologising,” she says sternly. I chuckle to myself because she always loves calling us by our first names—something about not being too close to us, but obviously failing.

In our group of scientists (whom I know consider as family), Scarlett is the most analytically creative between the five of us. Sure, I may be the one who always questions everything; Sweeney may be the one who conjures up the suggestions; Felicity may be the one who never gives up; and Lawrence may be the one who always finds the answer...

...but Scarlett is all of us rolled into one, but instead of everything being a matter of hopeful possibility, it becomes a matter of definite probability—and that’s one of the reason why she’s my best and most trusted friend...

...and inside that façade of hers, I know she is also the most emotional and caring person in the planet—which is probably why she hides her emotions well—too well... No one knows her like we do. The four of us can see through all those clever lies. She’s the most human of us all—probably a side-effect of being nearly all-knowing...

...since emotion and humanity are a part of that brain of hers... but she never shows it. Still, we all assume she’s both aromantic and asexual. Come to think of it, she never says anything about herself much.

I wonder what else she hides in that metaphorically huge head of hers.

Looking at her right now, lying down on the ground, relaxing with her arms being used as her own pillow, it made me think. I just realised why I would ask such a question—her favourite colour.

It was a niggling sensation at the back of my head—something we have all seen but never really observed enough... and I want to smack my head silly because it is something so drastically obvious:

Scarlett can always match her clothes.

“Scar, may I ask you something?” I start again.

She hums in reply, closing her eyes. “Sure, what is it?” she asks me in the usual bored and sleepy tone of hers.

I observe her once more—on the ground as we listen to some Chopin—wearing her usual beige dressing gown which matches the colour of her brown silk pyjamas. The fact that I can always see her in one of two colours ever since I became coloured-eyed just surprises me.

There was not a day Scarlett wore anything mismatched. I had seen the others wear mismatched shirts, coats, waistcoats, trousers, shoes, and even socks—kinda embarrassing really—and it’s all because they’re all greyed-eyed.

Oh my God. Has she already met her soulmate but never told us?

“How do you match your clothes?” I ask.

“Pardon?” she asks, opening her eyes to look at me confusedly. “I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

“I asked you how you matched your clothes.”

She sits up almost immediately at that. “I don’t... Winter, you know, I feel like you’re starting to offend me by rubbing the fact that you’re coloured-eyed to my face. I don’t care about colours or the fact that I’m greyed-eyed. Are we clear on that? When is the attempt to brag ever going to end?”

“I’m not trying to brag!” I exclaim.

“Then, pray tell, what are you doing if not insulting me? Because we both know I will always have greyed-eyed.”

“I’m just trying to ask how—”

“Yes?” she interrupts.

“—how in the world do you manage to always have your clothes matched?” I ask her calmly.

She lies back down on the floor with a sigh, returning to her previous position. “That’s it?”

“Yes.”

“I buy everything in one set of colour every time I shop for clothes. The lady in the shop always guides me with the colours and I trust her judgment. Their matching colours are all in a certain order in my wardrobe so they are all in track to match their colours,” she explains. “Simple, really.”

“In what order are they organised?” I ask sceptically.

“Their chronology,” she answers, “of when I bought them. I even had the colours labelled, thanks to the lady there. With the help of society and information from the internet, I always know which colour to match together, and which colour never to match with.”

I nod to myself. “You do wear red almost all the time though.”

“As people had told me,” she answers plainly. “It is the first set of clothes in the wardrobe that I am able to reach easily. It’s not a surprise I always wear them. Plus, the texture of the clothing is better, and people compliment me on how it looks good on me, and how the colour makes me stand out more. I figured it best to wear them the most.”

Seems fair to me and I actually agree with what she said... but...

“Well... why the effort? Why would you go through all that? Why do you have to match the colours of your clothes? I mean, what’s the point? You can’t even see it...” I regret my words immediately after I said them.

Before I could apologise, however, Scarlett answers, “I may not see it but those who see colours do and I do not want to look moronic in front of them, to be quite honest. Imagine if you would see me in such atrocious colours... People say mismatched clothes could be unappealing,” she continues. “I don’t want people to see me as anything less than I want to exhibit.”

“So, you’re saying... you went through all that trouble for the sake of fashion?”

“Yes,” she answers plainly, “are we done now? I want to nap.”

Right... Maybe I’m wrong.

T W O   Y E A R S   L A T E R

Scarlett has already been told about my new announcement but she still insists on pretending not to know as we gather everyone in our favourite pub.

“So, why are we here?” Sweeney asks. “What’s the occasion?”

“Why would you all think there’s an occasion?” I ask.

“Come on, Winter... You were practically screaming on the phone,” Felicity observes, smiling amusedly.

“And we never come here on a Tuesday,” Lawrence points out. “So what’s the big news that can’t wait until Friday?”

“God, there’s absolutely no secret that can pass by here, is there?” I sigh, laughing. “Guess there’s no point in delaying anything—I’m moving in with Howard,” I announce.

Howard had spent a lot of time with these idiots. They seem to get on pretty well and thankfully, the others love him—which is actually a huge relief to me. Then again, Howard is my soulmate—my other half. Of course, if my friends love me, it’s only natural that my friends would love my other half, too.

Felicity starts shaking in happiness. Lawrence congratulates me with a pat on the shoulder. Sweeney gets the first round. Scarlett just sits there, looking out the window, wearing her signature blood red shirt and blood red scarf—but she said she doesn’t see colours so maybe it’s just her usual clothes and not her signature colour. For me, I’d say it still is.

“God, when’s he proposing?” Lawrence asks. “I think it’s about time, don’t you?” he asks me.

“Really, Law? Marriage? You may be a romantic but I’m not. Let’s focus on moving with him first before all that.” I laugh as they do.

He playfully punches me in the arm. “Come on! You’re moving in with your soulmate! And you’ve been together for about—what?—two years already? Of course, that’s going to lead to a proposal! That’s worth twenty rounds of drinks!”

“I suppose so.” I laugh.

“God, I’d kill for that opportunity. You’re so lucky. What does it look like again? The world in colour?” Felicity asks for the nth time.

“You know that I find it hard to explain. You feel colours. We can’t explain it... You can’t explain the unexplainable,” I say. “Even Science can’t explain this.”

“Fuck Science,” Felicity mocks.

“Feli, you’re a genius architects,” Lawrence points out.

“Fuck Science,” she repeats, laughing. “Speaking of which... Hey, Scar!”

Scarlett hums in answer, turning away from the window. What is she looking at out there anyway?

Oh...

Fireworks...

Colourful fireworks...

“Did you ever wonder what colours look like?” Felicity asks the others.

Just then, Sweeney arrives with the drinks and after being told by Felicity of what we are talking about, starts spewing stories about who he tried to imagine what they look like and ended up with a large headache.

“No,” Scarlett answers simply, dismissing us all by looking out the window again. With Scarlett, you never know what personality she has. She can be sweet, loud, or never talk at all. Her personality is all jumbled.

We all look at Lawrence who shifts uncomfortably on his seat. “I never really thought about it.”

“It must be beautiful,” Felicity moans. “Come on, colours! When will I ever see ya?!” she groans.

“You’ll meet your soulmate, Feli,” Sweeney says. “Too bad it isn’t me.” He winks at her. Felicity laughingly hits Sweeney on the back of his head.

Lawrence clears his throat, looking down at the table as if he is in some sort of trance. “Colours are amazing.” Everyone stares at him and he finally looks up, clearing his throat. “Theoretically, for us greyed-eyed, of course.” He whispers, “They say colours are so beautiful.” He smiles at the table once more.

Then I finally notice that Lawrence is wearing a blood red tie that matches with his brown three-piece suit.

M O M E N T S   L A T E R

"Law, can I ask you something?” I ask Lawrence who had volunteered to drive me back home to Howard.

“Sure, anything.” He smiles briefly before turning his eyes back on the road.

“The colours of your clothes match,” I blurt out before I stop myself.

“That’s... not really a question, Winter,” he points out.

He didn’t deny nor confirm it—which means it’s worth investigating.

“I know... but what I’m asking is: who’s your soulmate? and why didn’t you tell us that you’re already coloured-eyed? and how long?” I ask him.

Lawrence looks at me briefly before sighing. “Swear on your life you won’t tell anyone.”

I nod. “Yes, I promise.”

“Not even Scar,” he points out because I always tell her everything.

“Yes, of course, I promise.”

He nods absentmindedly before smiling. “Well, she doesn’t want to be known. To be honest, I don’t want to expose anything about her either but... obviously, we’ve met. We’re both well aware about us being soulmates and we, er, always meet in secret and that’s when the fun usually begins.” He smiles.

“Do you love each other?”

“Well, if we didn’t, we wouldn’t be married now, would we?”

“WHAT?!” I yell out. “Married? What do you mean married? We haven’t even met her and you’re saying that you’re bloody married?! MARRIED?!”

“In secret, yeah. It was her idea to keep the marriage a secret, and I agree. No one knows about it and we love it that way... but it was my idea to get married. I proposed the usual way—fancy dinner, and with a ring, of course. Still, we always go to fancy restaurants so I didn’t look suspicious... Completely took her by surprise—which is saying something because she doesn’t get surprised easily.” Lawrence laughs.

"How long have you seen colours?" I ask.

"Eight? Nine years?" Lawrence shrugs.

"And how long have you been married?" I ask again.

He smiles. "Seven years."

"Jesus. That long?" I ask and Lawrence nods.

“Honestly, the moment I saw colours, neither of us said anything. I actually thought—no—feared that I was the only one who saw the colours but that was logically impossible... Soulmates are shared bonds so—of course—it had to be her... I remember she was wearing good but mismatched clothes—the look on her face...” He laughs. “I think that was the only time I ever saw her be horrified with herself... but coincidentally, we were wearing the same shirt colour.”

“Does she live with you?”

“No,” he laughs. “That would be hard since Scar lives with me. I’m just glad my soulmate is not the jealous type and she completely trusts me. Scar doesn’t know about her, of course, but our relationship works. My wife and I may be an odd couple but we work—beautifully.”

“You won’t stop talking.” I point out since Lawrence is usually quiet.

“You have no idea how long I’ve always wanted to talk about her. Obviously, I can’t say her name because she’ll kill me if she finds out but, at least, I could say things about her. Granted, I agreed with the secrecy and I love it but... I love her so much, you know? It’s hard not to say anything.” His voice dies down before he whispers, “She humbles me. I’ve always thought I was the smartest person in the room all the time... but then there’s her. I was so different. She made me a better man.”

“You've known your soulmate for a long time; you’re lucky.” I smile.

“Not always—I see you, Felicity, and Sweeney wear hideously coloured clothes all the time. Now, that’s unlucky... although... Scar always wear matched clothes, right? Did you notice that?” he asks me.

“Yeah... yeah, I did.”

“Do you think she met her soulmate? Did she tell you something about it?” he asks me. “She wouldn’t tell me.”

“Well, she told me she didn’t.”

“That’s a load of bull,” he exclaims.

“She says she buys everything in a colour set,” I explain and Lawrence nods, thinking deeply.

“Shame. I was kind of hoping there was something more to that. Imagine Scarlett finding her soulmate? She’d be furious—considering she's not interested about those kinds of things.”

“I don’t know... I still think she’s hiding something,” I add.

“Whatever it is, she will tell us eventually... I hope...” He laughs and I join him because it’s Scarlett. She won’t say shit.

T H R E E   Y E A R S   L A T E R

Tonight, Howard and I cuddle on the sofa as we watch telly when a banging on the door breaks our little Saturday ritual.

My husband stands up to go greet the person on the door. I close the telly and hear some mumbling before a pair of footsteps echoes through the corridor, making its way to the living room.

To my surprise, Scarlett enters. Her clothes are dripping wet from the rain outside—making her body shiver... but that’s not what surprised me.

Scarlett looks lost—scared beyond relief—and she has tears as well as scratches on her eyes.

“I’ll go make a cuppa,” Howard whispers, leaving us.

Scarlett’s legs folds under her and she sits down on the floor before bawling like a child. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never comforted Scarlett before because she never cried in front of me before.

"Scar, what is it?" I try to ask, crouching down in front of her and putting a tentative hand on her shoulder.

Her only answer was a mere moan of pain. My eyes tear up at the sight of our most calculated analytical mind suffering under the maddening curse of being human.

I quickly text everyone to meet up at our house. Howard quietly places the tray with the tea on the table and stands on the side, giving both of us some space.

My attention goes back to Scarlett who whispers one thing, “Can’t...” and she cries out in pain once more.

I try my best to comfort her and Howard actually replaces me for the moment because I’m not really doing a good job with comforting her.

"Oh God, what happened?" Felicity asks when she barges in after being greeted by Howard, crouching down beside me. Sweeney quickly sits beside Scarlett and pulls her into a crushing hug, unlocking more of her emotions and making her cry harder, clutching Sweeney’s jacket tight.

I stand up, pulling Felicity with me, and whisper as to not be heard by Scarlett. "How'd you get here?" I ask Felicity first.

"Sweeney and I were both in the pub when you called," she answers. "God, what do we do?"

"Where's Law?" I ask Felicity. "If anyone knows Scar's limits, it's Lawrence."

"I've been trying to call him; no answer," Felicity whispers, shaking at the sight of a bawling Scarlett. "God, it's hard to see Scar this way. Did she tell you what happened?"

"I don't know." I panic. "She never cries in front of anyone—not to my knowledge, anyway," I say. "One of the two greatest minds in the generation—crying senseless. Fuck, I don’t know what to do. I’m terrible with these kind of things."

We both turn back around when Scarlett suddenly yells out. The three of us are at a dead end. We don't know what to do. Seeing Scarlett cry is new for all of us. We may be the chosen ones for the government's research due to our combined intelligence but we are still at a lost with dealing with human emotions.

"Gone!" Scarlett yells.

"What's gone?" Felicity asks her gently, sitting down on Scarlett's other side..

"Gone," Scarlett whispers, leaning on Sweeney as he cradles her quietly.

"What's gone, Scar?" I ask.

Scarlett whimpers in reply and more tears fall from her eyes.

"It's okay. We've got you," Sweeney whispers, his hand going through Scarlett's hair to comfort her.

We all keep quiet.

Too bad I didn't observe enough. I would have seen Scarlett wearing a black left shoe and a brown right shoe.

M U C H   L A T E R

Lawrence's funeral was held quietly.

Car accident.

"Lawrence Alcott was a good man—the best man," Sweeney says, his voice trembling. "He's my best mate. I still don't—I don't know why this has to happen. I'm an arsehole and I had some words at him too but he stuck by me. He's a really good man and I don't know why this has to—I'm just—I'm really angry at him for—for leaving." Sweeney wipes his tears angrily and doesn't bother to finish his speech and walks away. He and Sweeney were inseparable—except to death, apparently.

Felicity walks in front, "Lawrence is... was a kind man—the most generous person you could ever hope for. With him, I could see colours. I may still be greyed-eyed, but Law here—Law gives out his own colours." Felicity laughs. "He may be the smartest man on Earth but he is also an idiot—our idiot. We love him so much and this is really unfair. Law keeps us all together. He's our glue. We could easily fall apart without him. This is—this is just so hard."

I walk in front, trembling. Felicity and Sweeney smile at me despite both having tears in their eyes. Howard gives me a small encouraging smile—my rock. Scarlett is still stone-faced. She has been quiet all day—all of us, really, but her quietness is too loud, even for me. She had been screaming inside that head of hers and every one of us can hear it.

"Lawrence saved my life countless of times, in many different ways. He's our leader. Now, we're afraid we'd be lost without him. He has been more like a brother to me than a friend, to be honest... and I love him like one would treat family. Bit of a reckless idiot, yes, but he was young—too young and I can't believe I am standing here right now." My voice breaks and I pause. Sniffing, I say what I always tell Lawrence, "Law, you idiot," probably for the last time.

I go back to my seat before I drop there and then and start screaming.

Scarlett walks slowly in front—not a tear or emotion in her eye. Facing Lawrence's coffin, she sighs and turns to stare at everyone. The three of us have been waiting for her speech since she had not said a word since this morning and we all wish to know what she's about to say.

"Of all the ways Lawrence could have died, it had to be a car accident." She laughs humourlessly. "The two of us had talked about it once. He said he wanted to die a tragic but unforgettable death. I knew he was talking about dying in a theatrical manner from a gun shot or something heroic like that—something worth writing in our history books... but who knew that even with something as ordinary as a car crash, he still died tragically in an unforgettable way—guess he still got what he wanted, then."

Scarlett breathes in as she looks at Lawrence's direction again.

"Lawrence is someone I hold very dear to me... and I never say that plainly. He is my first friend—the first person to talk to me. The first thing he told me was, 'If you ever take my job from me, I'll cut you in half.'" Everyone manages to laugh at that. "The last thing he ever told me is something I cannot say for I wish to cherish it for as long as I am living. He's the best person I have ever met and I will always keep him in my heart—and yes, I do have one."

We all look at her, and she smiles at us.

"As you can see from my friends' faces, my words aren't usual. I would never say things like this about anyone, but there is always one exception with every rule. Lawrence will always be my one exception. You'd expect that from me, but I will always think of him as he once said he'd do for me if I ever died before him: Perfectly impossible to exist."

Scarlett insists on digging Lawrence's grave herself.

She doesn't let anyone help her. She practically growled at Sweeney when he tried taking the shovel away from her... but it doesn't matter. Scarlett is a strong woman. She can do this. It is an intimate act—to bury your loved one, and Lawrence was her best friend.

Sweeney, Felicity, and I stand behind Scarlett, looking down at Lawrence's grave as everyone else goes home after the funeral service.

"Everything is grey," she whispers, tears on her cheeks.

"Grey?" Sweeney asks.

Scarlett nods. "Grey," she whispers, gesturing around.

The three of us look at each other, surprised with the revelation.

"He's your soulmate, then?" Felicity asks.

"And husband," Scarlett answers.

"You're married?!" The two shrieks. I give them pointed looks to let Mrs. Scarlett Alcott grieve. I mouth to them that I'll tell the whole story later.

She laughs for a moment. When she stops, she adds, "I'm pregnant, too," with a shaking voice. She whimpers with her words, opening her large coat and placing her hand on a bump where a child is brewing.

"He was so happy..." she cries.

This is all new for us but we don't speak.

She continues almost hysterically with her voice unusually high-pitched, "W-we were going to... to... finally tell you all—about us... about this," she says, gesturing at her eyes. "We were going to surprise you all by... by going to the pub t-together with... with a b-baby in my arms and our wedding bands on. The plan was so perfect."

Her voice breaks at the end and she starts crying again, bending down as if she was punched in the gut as she finally lets go of her bottled up emotions. Sweeney and Felicity are beside her almost immediately, helping her stand up.

She takes something out from her pocket. A gold band wedding ring and a gold ring with a ruby (probably the engagement ring) and places them on her left ring finger.

"At least we finally wore the wedding rings outside the comforts of our isolation at the same time," she whispers weakly. "He's wearing it right now—his own wedding band... My dead husband is wearing his wedding ring."

Scarlett suddenly falls down on her knees and screams out.

Felicity, Sweeney, and I all kneel down with her and hug her.

"Winter..." Scarlett whispers.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Did I bring the right scarf?" she asks me. I look and see her raise her signature blood red scarf. "Is it our... colour?" she asks me.

"Is your colour blood red?" I ask. She winces but nods. "Yes, you—you have the right colour..."

She removes herself from us and moves closer to Lawrence's grave. "Warm up, my love," she whispers, putting the scarf around the grave as if it was Lawrence's neck. "I don't want you to get cold." Scarlett's voice cracks on the last part.

When we all leave, Sweeney decides to drive Scarlett to her and Lawrence's secret family home. Felicity is still shaking as we leave.

Howard has been waiting for me outside the cemetery patiently. I quickly hug my husband, not wanting to let go.

I don't want to see the world in black and white.

Not ever.

To read more: https://www.wattpad.com/story/43551432-soulmate-au

A U T H O R ‘ S   N O T E

Here it is, the first story out of many more I am willing to write. Just tell me what you think and whether I should continue posting my other works...

Oh, and FUN FACT!

“Warm up, my love, I don’t want you to get cold,” are the last words Scarlett heard Lawrence say.

What happened is that: 

Lawrence drove Scarlett to her office because it was raining. She was going to go there to finish some work she needed done by Monday (remember, this is a Saturday). Before Scarlett leaves the car, Lawrence tells her the scarf thing... He died while he was driving back home because it was rainy and some idiot driver decided to be an idiot and crashed him.

...Okay, maybe not a fun fact.

im sorry