#i am just capable of liking both
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I wanted to elaborate on that one post but decided it is too big so Imma post it separately xD
Remember the abysmal reaction to Hunting Palismen and because Hunter licked Luz's hand he is officially her brother and therefore is incest. And if you don't see them as siblings then it's still incest you are just fucked for not seeing OBVIOUS sibling vibes.
Well now almost the exact opposite is happening with King and Collector. Minus the harassment, guess they aren't as popular as lumity. thankfully
Before Collector and King got more screentime I've seen mostly displeasure towards the ship and how they are too young.(even though kids can have kid crushes but what do I want from fandom moralisers)
And after getting all the interactions and showing Collector bonding with Owl fam... suddenly people can't see them as siblings. And they are shipping them. You can throw your hands how it's qpr/soulmate/its own thing all you want, in it's core it's shipping. Putting two characters(or more) together in not familial and not platonic relationship, because what they have is separate and special. and its a you problem if you think that shipping is all about sex and not actually exploring qpr and everything else.
Ah the moralisation that works only on ships you don't like.
In this case fandom. Fandom decided with no actual proof that Hunter and Luz are siblings and started aggressively pushing on it(because if you don't shout in people's face how they are siblings, others won't know, which is pretty telling on the legitness).
But when two characters received way more possible 'family' material but the fandom is more interested in shipping them, then suddenly 'every interpretation matters'.
#the owl house#toh#shipping rant#the collector#king clawthorne#hunter deamonne#luz noceda#i don't mind the shipping#i think they are cute#i am just capable of liking both#while fandom cherry picks who is a 'family' and who is not harasses the chosen target#not that i am displeased that there is no(visible) harassment#just still salty over lunter treatment#i dont even ship them i too love them as family#but MAN fandoms aggressivness already turned me off a family concept i LOVED in other fandom
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I have finally finished 2.4 and oh my GOD watching Dan Heng be so protective of his friends nearly killed me, MY HEART.
And yes, the cutscene where he pushes the trailblazer out of the way and even cushions their fall with his own body, but I mean even before that! When he was already trying to protect them and March 7th from Feixiao and Lingsha!!
Because if you watch the dango trio throughout the main quest, you'll notice that they often position themselves in the same way, which is a detail that makes me super happy that Hoyo thought to include- when the three of them aren't evenly spaced, March 7th and the trailblazer tend to gravitate towards each other and stand very close together, frequently side-by-side. And by comparison, Dan Heng usually stands slightly away, and often even slightly behind them, where he can pull on their leashes to wrangle them keep an eye on them.
This is probably a habit learned through experience, since March 7th said during Belobog she is the "queen of unannounced disappearances" fjdksajfkldjsak
And of course at least a little bit of it is just done for like, aesthetic purposes. It's a video game. Things have to look nice for the player. The trailblazer and Dan Heng are the same height, March 7th is a bit shorter, and Yanqing is even smaller. It makes sense to have the trailblazer and Dan Heng stand on the ends, with March 7th and Yanqing in the middle, it just looks nicer and more balanced that way. But still! Even when they're accommodating for Yanqing in this quest, they still all arrange themselves the same way, almost every time!
But this changes after Dan Heng and Yanqing become suspicious of the visitors from the Yaoqing.
The dango trio still stand around relaxed and in their usual manner when they go to the artisanship delve and meet Skott,
but Dan Heng takes notice of Lingsha when she arrives, and he and Yanqing mentioned her specifically when discussing their worries.
Yanqing worrying so much about Jing Yuan got me right in the heart, he's such a good boy WEH
And when the four of them go out to the alchemy delve to meet Lingsha for tea, the pattern breaks. Suddenly Dan Heng is standing right up front, and even walks in and enters the scene before March 7th and the trailblazer to get to Lingsha before them. He stays a step in front of them the whole time, too.
And then when Dan Heng and the trailblazer have to go be interrogated by Feixiao! The same deal! Dan Heng walks in ahead of them and stays in front of them! Noticeably so! Enough that even Feixiao takes note and voices it!
Dan Heng is so so fiercely protective of his companions, and I love it, I adore hyper vigilance in the wake of trauma like this, I'm so excited to see what else he does in 2.5, I hope we either get to see him get fucked up or the trailblazer gets fucked up in his place, I wanna see them run through the meat grinder!!!
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr dan heng#dan heng#dancae#danstelle#he loves them so much wehhhhhh#(I know I threw in the ship tags but I mean that love romantically or platonically. tag this either way as you please)#but anyway not to mention the whole cutscene part and Dan Heng promising he wouldn't let them die before him#I could have screamed when I read that oh my GOD#Dan Heng. baby. honey. sweetiepie.#I am going to squish him#I wanna see him get a little freaked out about being stuck in the Shackling Prison again heehee#I hope we get to see his old cell at some point#looking at all this though like yeah no wonder Dan Heng immediately doesn't like Moze haha#Moze is capable of the bigger picture and of being objective. Dan Heng loses that ability when his friends are in danger.#It's just not something they can see eye-to-eye on.#Dan Heng and even the trailblazer both immediately see it as being cold and uncaring.#Moze: *breathes*#Dan Heng: I'm no cactus expert but this guy's a prick.#I love them both I hope they butt heads again later fjkldjaklfd#dango trio#Nameless trio#trailblazer trio#caelus#stelle#hsr caelus#hsr stelle#march 7th
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veeery self indulgent but i realized ive drawn wesker “flustered” more than william and i knew i had to even it out
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#by ‘flustered’ i mean as flustered wesker can get yknow#yeag anywayUhh#i swear i am capable of drawing more than just these two#stay tuned ….#i drew this with the idea in mind that this was both when they were younger#like in their early 20s#but i dont know how to make them look youngerdjdjjdf#just pretend#resident evil#fanart#albert wesker#william birkin#willsker#-> my art
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it's always super weird when you find out someone you thought you vibed with doesn't actually like you that much and really just tolerated you.
maybe it's just a neurodivergent problem. maybe normal people can always tell.
i can never tell. you talk to me a lot about our many shared interests, we hang out a lot, I thought we had chemistry, I felt comfortable with you and you never seemed uncomfortable with me, and you never told me I upset you...
but I guess I'm the idiot for being an open book and always telling people if they've done something I don't like. and for being willing to have hard conversations about boundaries from time to time.
my bad.
#gonna start lying like the rest of you#ah yes let me pretend i like you#im starting to think these kinds of people are just too insecure to shut down a friendship#like you just need to have friends to the point where you tolerate my existence#even tho i am offensive to your sensibilities#like come on bro#thats sad#just dump me#it wont bother me#not everyone is capable of tolerating me#thats alright#but say something you pussy#stop wasting both our times#pretending to be my friend hurts you more than me#i have real friends#i dont need parasitic pseudo friends who just need to feel wanted#im done with that#i know what a real friend looks like#youre not it and im not it for you either#i couldve been if you were honest#but people are not honest with others or themselves and thats what i hate most about people
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your fridge-build , original-red-and-purple-oufit magneto showed up in my dream yesterday and i was so unprepared it woke me up
reading this made me cackle for like a solid minute gjAELKGJAK he just wanted to say hi ....
leaving you with a fridge-magnet-sized magneto. so hopefully he can say hi again but less intimidatingly
#fave#i have to fave this i need to be reminded that this happened once in a while this is so funny#xmen#magneto#snap sketches#PLEASSEE THATS SO SILLY JVLKAJLKJ IM SORRY/YOURE WELCOME???#i dont think anyones ever dreamt of my art thats so silly and flattering#what was he doing ... what he just floating in the corner ..... please im still not over this its so funny ...#on that note tho im so bad at remembering dreams i never have them really#i used to have dreams a lot as a kid/teenager but they were mostly- if not all now that i think of it- nightmares#HOWEVER. i will say that like. a lil bit after i rewatched first class for the third time#i got a dream or two one with mcavoy and the other with film charles#the mcavoy dream was just that i met him in greece or something and i think the charles dream was at the school#they were both nice dreams so Am I Complaining absolutely not#just reminds me of the time when i binge watched an actor's movies and i had dreams of him for a whole week#in one of them he was making fun of me but it was in whatever semblance of japanese my brain could bs so it wasnt that bad#but it kinda was cause Since It Was A Dream i understood what he said but anwyays .... not important#THE OTHER DREAMS WERENT BAD THO he was my dad in one. aaand the other uhh.. i forget ...#i must stress me dreaming is such an oddity so these were so like. Oh Yeah Im Capable Of Dreaming JVLKAJK#very weird feeling waking up from a dream is what im tryna say .. i think ...#very funyn .... anyways i hope magneto visits you in your dreams again whether hes built like a semi or like a bug#just for the cosmic comedy of it all
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Nothing to see here just steph stealing glances of klay like he’s afraid he’s going to get caught 😃😃 (via namxsj on twitter )
#nba#golden state warriors#dallas mavericks#steph curry#klay thompson#steph/klay#ok first of all oh my god#secondly i need asg week to be NEOW actually I don’t think im capable of waiting til feb#both teams have kinda been floundering (mavs to a lesser extent but still) and I am growing Impatient for the reunion !!#also the buddy hield cycle being proven right for the 4th(?) time. lmao. some of those dumbasses rlly thought they got prime klay back#the victory lapping after beating the blazers jazz pelicans and pelicans was like nothing I had ever seen#especially towards a fucking legend !! like klay fucking thompson !!!!#no one not even pr-trained to high hell steph curry himself could ever convince me that he’s hopeful or even okay with this bullshit#he needs klay. klay needs him. they need each other and always have but it’s looking more and more likely that steph is#gonna go out like kobe while klay is gonna gonna keep chasing the ghost of pre-injury self#that last part felt so wrong to type out because i personally think he’s been everything you could want and more from a guy#who went thru everything that he went thru and#his comeback is probably my favorite comeback story in any sport ever of all time bc it’s such a fairy tale. and it also actually HAPPENED#!!!!!!!!!!!!#ppl talk abt the injuries like they happened to him and then he just disappeared forever like no bitch !!!!#he came back and they won it all that same year !! led the league in 3pm the year after that !!!!!! led the league in ft% the year#after that n ppl still acting like he adds virtually no value to any team that wants to win a chip when in reality that couldn’t be further#from the truth#I wrote it like that because I get the sense that they both look a little lost/confused at times and I can’t help but think that#losing embarrassingly or not they might at least be in better spirits (if nothing else) if they still had each other’s company#oh well. lol#ok I think that’s everything I had and a million sorrys if this post exploded on ur dash i wish I could turn off my stupid sports rpf brain#but I can’t ❤️#wishing every happiness to the two of them tho they’re my babiest girls frfr#nik's rants
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i think the thing to understand abt martha jones is that even after she leaves she is five seconds away from dropping everything and traveling with the doctor at any given time. bc that itch to blow everything up and damn her personal duty to hell in search of a higher call never leaves her. but martha is smart. and rational. and has spent a long fucking time needing to keep herself safe. (bc he comes when she calls but never before.) and so she has gotten very good at keeping herself on the right side of those five seconds. but i do think if ten was a different person (if he could acknowledge how much he needed her instead of just how much he liked her) (if he didn’t feel this righteous martyrdom when it comes to being left alone) (if he cared enough about her to beg. if he cared enough about himself.) i think that her answer no would come crumbling down pretty quickly is all.
#MARTHA JONES’ TWISTED SENSE OF DUTY YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME#there is soo much nuance to this. obviously. and it really varies depending on when exactly in his run we’re talking#but me personally. i don’t think that martha was ever satisfied with the way things ended between them. i think she made peace with it!#but i don’t think she was satisfied and i don’t think she ever could be#which is also why i have slowly come around to her and mickey. even tho i think it IS very pair the spares in a way i don’t like#i do think they make sense together. in a genuine way and also in a you’re the closest i’ll get to what i want. you’re good on your own but#- you’re also the next best thing. and we don’t need to say this out loud bc we both know and it wouldn’t ruin anything by admitting it but#- it sure as hell wouldn’t feel good either#it’s not even like. directly about the doctor/rose here is the thing. it’s about the life he let them lead with him#which i guess is the crux of this. i think martha is capable of moving on from her Feelings for the doctor. but never her feelings about him#yknow. does that make sense. if anyone knows that the doctor is a symbol it’s martha#i don’t think she’s always in love with him. i think she was. tho my opinions on that r complicated hashtag tenmartha qpr BUT#but the IDEA of him? the idea which shaped her into a completely different person? i don’t think she will ever not want that back @ her core#she’s just too loyal to everyone besides herself to admit that. 😐#ok it’s 4 am i have been rambling abt this for fifteen minutes so sorry if it doesn’t make sense but i have FEELINGS ABT HER !!#ted talks#martha jones#doctor who
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and if i said that (I PERSONALLY) think that soukoku absolutely has the capacity to be a healthy relationship in future … would i be cooked
#bsd#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#skk#soukoku#emphasis on I PERSONALLY#i feel like the whole hatred and rivalry is greatly exaggerated. both from fans AND from those two themselves lmfao#esp after the recent chapters#where we see that they actually do just . calmly exist together#calmly as in calm with each other obviously they were stressed abt the fyodor thing#don’t get me wrong it definitely Hasn’t been healthy#but i think it has the potential to be#But whatever they actually do just hate each other and that’s all What an interesting dynamic#SKK HATERS AND MISUNDERSTANDERS DNI#i already know i am correct i am the only one capable of having correct opinioms abt these two
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Thank you Natasha Pulley for my old man yaoi
#she said valery is 43 and konstantin is 51 and i was like thank god#wow am i going to experience this with every one of her books? just like. every human emotion ever#feel like i need to start rationing them because there’s a finite amount and i will get the book hangover to end all book hangovers#once i’m done reading all of them. like the slump will be so intense#also truly i DO NOT get the ‘her books are too similar’ criticism. first of all how is that a criticism???#when i finished the mars house i was like okay i want to read this but slightly to the left#so then i picked up valery k and i was like perfect. give me 5 more of these right now#also lowkey they’re not that similar??#okay so there’s always an adorable dork who is also sort of an abacus person#their love interest is always very strong and capable of hurting them but Absolutely Doesn’t Want To because he is too kind#the romance? Very slow burn and you gotta read between the lines#the society? horrifying and depressing place#the morality of every character? massive spectrum of shades of grey#the infodumps? there. the cameos? octopi#but liike it’s a different depressing society each time okay. and valery doesn’t have that much in common with gale#they’re both a bit frail; very knowledgeable about niche topics and can do maths very fast. and are very very dangerous#except in gale’s case; gale is the only person who doesn’t realise. and in val’s case; val is the Only one who knows he’s dangerous#okay i’m done dissecting this now and i’m going to read something else#personal
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cw: unbeta'd rambling once more, all mistakes are mine. vague references to true crime content, nothing graphic. just thinking of what would discomfort the charas, im basically throwing darts 🥴
i hc'd that kalim doesnt really get scared by ghosts and urban legends and to add onto that: i think kalim would be icked out by people with an interest in true crime.
like, the content hits uncomfortably close to his own encounters and some people frankly take a bit too much pleasure in going through all the gory details - wait, you're telling him there are people who fall asleep while listening to true crime podcasts?! on that note, some psychological thrillers (especially the 'adapted from true events' kind, compared to the 'dystopic social commentary' ones) would also fit into this category - just being plain uncomfortable to sit through, a movie/podcast/tv experience making him sick to his stomach.
i just think that kalim doesn't get the appeal at all, no matter the explanation. if someone tried to show him a few cases, he'd just be sitting in uncomfy silence.
(on the flipside, i think jamil hates horror movies with an abundance of jumpscares compared to slashers. he has an uncanny sense foretelling when they're gonna happen, but he still flinches during the actual jumpscare. bonus points if a fakeout is good, u get to see his soul jump out of his body twice.
on the topic of true crime, jamil just doesn't vibe with it, especially when it's not well-researched and/or poorly handled in its delivery. and like, he's already gotten the fearmongering-type of warnings* from the adults in his life plenty of times. he doesn't want to see it packaged in a spooky, edgy, internet detective-way, but he's more rational? understanding? of its appeal to others.)
#not to say that kalim is immune to jumpscares!#if he was really caught unaware he'd jump out of his skin he's human after all#but he doesn't get those post-horror movie scares while walking down a dark hallway#he's not scared of the shadow man chasing u up the stairs when u turn off the lights#yes im saying that kalim is the chara to pick as ur company when going through a spooky house if ur sensitive to vibes#the ghosts cant get u when u have litral sunshine by your side#technically jamil is more capable but ur both gonna be on edge until ur absolutely sure there is no danger to be wary of#(even if its jus as simple as goin home from watching a horror movie. its the jamil brand of overprotection/overbearingness/etc)#i think kalims a diff flavor of vigilant for intruders and people who Should Not Be in the vicinity#*on that note about parents fearmongering their kids! i like to think tht they were both heavily subjected to it lmao (tots not projecting)#not just in terms of their safety but also in terms of their health (yes i am hcing that the scarabia boys are 2 flavors of hypochondriacs)#dellet-asides#kalim al asim#jamil viper#twisted wonderland headcanon#twisted wonderland#twst#twst headcanon#dellet-writings
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Xena Warrior Princess 3x07 The Debt (2)
You mean that I should serve someone who hates me. More than that, you need to serve someone you hate. I'd rather die. You've been a dead woman for a long time now Xena, I'm offering you the chance to live.
#xena warrior princess#xwpedit#xenaedit#wlwedit#wlwsource#tvedit#dailyflicks#xena*#gif*#I am 100% on the xena/gabrielle train bc duh but man I LOVE xena's relationship with lao ma and I wish we'd seen more of it in the series...#lao ma being xena's first turning point and helping her gain her consciousness back etc is so important to me...#lao ma is described as both soft and hard and that's exactly what xena needed and yeah she loved her and admired her so much to the point#that she felt indebted to her#xena in the debt ep series is lit like that meme that's like#If Lao Ma has a million fans then I am one of them. If Lao Ma has ten fans then I am one of them. If Lao Ma has only one fan then that is me#If Lao Ma has no fans then that means I am no longer on earth. If the world is against Lao Ma then I am against the world.#anyway I just love it - I just love the idea that dark xena came around to the point of wanting to serve this woman simply because she#believed in her and in how much of a good influence she could be 'I have been blessed or cursed to see into the souls of others. You don't k#know it yet Xena but you're a remarkable woman capable of greatness'#LIKE....... idk it just makes me insane the unconditional support the unconditional love.... anyways
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Whatever....
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Plus some other doodles! Not super in-depth, I didn't set out to think too deeply about it... but the Idle pose is what it would look like on the main menu/other areas where the sprites are relaxed, and the Battle Ready pose is the little animation the characters go into on a map. (The first drawing was meant to be the Battle Ready one, but! Changed my mind.)
I think the idea of Moe swapping expressions between the main poses is really cute, ESP if the expressions are opposites. Like you see characters go from a serious expression into an >:0 expression (and similarly, a smile into :D ), but I'm not sure if there's any that go from smiling to frowning/pouting... I really like the characterization of it, actually. Beyond how expressive it is in general, on a conceptual level, Moe is about balancing (if not mishmashing) opposite traits.
Any which way, the drawing I colored in is Exactly what I was envisioning for a Moe sprite! Which. I kind of alluded to w my attempt at a sprite edit (separate post). Moe would need a whole ass custom sprite. From its outfit to its pose (doesn't quite match Kiran's/the other Summoners you can pick from!). Plus, it's a staff user who has a tendency to do raptor hands (or ghost sleeves, or gay limp wrist......). I feel like its sprite would be smaller than the standard Summoners, too. Like Legendary Nohrian Corrin (being oddly smaller than all the other f!Corrins!)
I am... thinking deeply about it........
#feh#summoner oc#it was REALLY hard to choose between a laid-back smile or the pumpkaboo pout for its resting face#both of those expressions are very moe. ultimately though i DO like the flip between silly into serious#trust. moe is still scared. HOWEVER. it needs to be a somewhat capable fighter... eventually......#i am. VERY tempted to just keep going. like what would its action animation be... attacking/supporting#i think it's the same between staff sprites. would have to study it a bit#but to be so real i'm just procrastinating. i'm just fucking around. i have half a mind to start another stupid project#which wouldn't be as intensive as the other shit i got going on. but to be so real i am just avoiding things LMFAOOO#LIKE. I KNOW I'LL HAVE FUN. I KNOW I WILL. but i need a little downtime... esp recently#i had kind of a rough one off my meds. it always is but like. damn. having the self-awareness really does not always save you.#moe tag#my art
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I'm a simple oc maker. I think about Selene wearing plain black clothes for too long, I go !!!!!!!!!!!!
#me when the girl literaly made from moonlight is the most comfortable in the shadow#me when a born priestess chooses to dress like a spy#me when the ethereal and god-like is contrasted with dry mundane practicality#me when#oc: watcher selene#herearedragons meta#selene hours on herearedragons dot tumblr dot com#idk it's just. lack of expressiveness as self expression#she's not repressing or hiding herself the comfortable plain dark clothing IS who she is. she's a spy. she's a ranger. she's a Watcher.#and splendor never felt right to her#she maybe started dressing like that from a place of insecurity and safety#but she did grow into it in a healthier way#and yeah she'll wear something slightly more fancy or colorful sometimes#but when I think of Selene I AM thinking of her dressed like that#the fact that her NatureTM is being this incredible thing but then the core of her personality is honestly a pretty lowkey person#like if left to her own devices she'd just be chilling and you'd only notice her when she wanted you to#is deeply important to me#obligatory edérene addition: and edér realizes that. and he's capable of both acknowledging that she's Freaking Weird but also meeting her#on that more lowkey level.#HEAD IN MY HANDS.#selene moonborn.
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Being in the middle of two sisters, Cassandra never catches a break.
When it’s about getting things done, it’s always “the older two” which means her and Bela.
When she gets into all kinds of trouble with Daniela it’s always “the younger two”.
In one instance, Daniela is excluded, and in the other Bela is excluded. Her? She is always there and she’s never excluded from either responsibility or mischief.
#headcanon#house dimitrescu#cassandra dimitrescu#daniela dimitrescu#bela dimitrescu#alcina dimitrescu#resident evil village#resident evil 8#re8#it’s that middle child curse#being the sassy gremlin that she is she actually brings it up to her mama#like make up your mind which one am i#alcina just looks at her and tells her that she is BOTH depending on the situation#there is just no way out of it#when mama says she’s responsible then she is responsible#but then mama says she’s a troublemaker with Daniela and she immediately gets demoted to younger child with her little sister#there is no escape#she sulks and complains tho#which makes Alcina amused because her very capable daughter is acting the opposite of what she is claiming#but nah mama knows how make her feel better so it’s all forgotten about very quickly
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starting to kind of date someone right before christmas is so stressful fr. do i get him a gift or what we've been on two dates but i'm seeing him tonight n it's christmas eve.....but what if he didn't get me anything then it will be weird.....
#i planned to try to find something small enough that i could easily carry around concealed then take it out if he got something for me#but the thing i got ened up being a bit too big for that lol#im gonna bring a big bag of gifts for all my friends maybe and then it won't be weird idk#by some miracle my mom showed me a bag of emergency gifts for the girlies and i was like cool im taking all of them tonight 😂#which was not what she intended lol#but im gonna do it#if i had time i would have gotten him something different but its good enough#he mentioned a book he hadn't read last night so would have been cool the got him that but its too late its a music hat now#if he even got me anything idk#but he specifically told me he was last minute christmas shopping so idk#i am over analyzing this for sure tho#anyway most unrealistic part of christmas romance movies is they're not anxious wondering whether to gift or not to gift#also im lowkey scared abt new years 😳#not that i wouldn't like to kiss him probably but i already have a hard time looking at him without blushing 😂#so that would make it 10000x worse lmao#also idk if i want to kiss him JUST bc its new years instead of waiting for the right moment to just happen? idk i dont wanna rush things#its not for sure we'll be together at midnight on new years idk what his plans are#but we'll see#anyway things are going well but moving faster than expected 😅#also not 100% sure i'm seeing him tonight and def not tomorrow so that might take the gift pressure off but idk#waiting to hear back abt tonight#😐😐😐#also idk why we waited until we were both on break from work to do stuff bc honestly every time we've met it's been after work hours anyway#however it allows us to stay up later than on work nights which is nice#he didn't leave my house until after 11 last night lol#anyway trying hard not to get swept up in all this while its new but fr im like oh this is what it's supposed to feel like 🥺#never been in love before every relationship i've had was awk and forced was starting to think maybe im just not capable of love#but literally cuddling on the couch watching it's a wonderful life last night i was like hm i'm definitely capable of love actually#not saying im actually there yet but it would be soooo easy to fall for this guy which is p scary actually#esp bc im not sure it would work for other reasons
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I miss old tumblr in the sense that i could complain about board exams and worrying about not getting enough to be eligible for my medical entrance test and i'd have summoned half the indian side of tumblr to sympathize
#im in sm stress#if i dont score above 75% im not eligible for my neet exam#which im planning to take a drop year for#and its gonne be both expensive and emotionally taxing#and i have to give THIS years neet exam too#for reasons#im not in the clear until may 20#adulthood is a scam#And that is well BEFORE i even start preparing for neet#well before i even have to consider the possibility that i might not get in#im pretty much using this post to vent in tags#its like 4 am#and im stressed. scared. everything#its really difficult just existing w adhd and mental illness#much less studying#and neet is like highly competetive#the cutoff goes so high#i want to get out of this city#and be safe and actually be alive for once#a big part of me will shrivel up and die if i stay#and this is the first time i've actually wanted smth for real#tentatively and doubtfully#but wanting still#and idk if i'll make a good doctor or if i'll fuck up and have it all blow up in my fsce#overthinking basically#im worried im not. capable of doing this#anyways desi tumblrinas where are you😭😭😭😭
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