#i am in shambles rn over this book

[wexhappyxfew]

you don’t know pain until you’ve finished reading the last book in one of your favorite childhood series and are in a copious amount of tears and unbridled nostalgia

[straykats]

how is minho actually so good looking like i want to cry (this is in specific reference to s-class making film tiemstamp 21:08-21:19)

[simply-trash5]

heeeyyyy do you happen to do trigun 🥺👉👈 also BNHA DILFs is such a vibe rn can we have sum yummy hcs pretty please 🤤 i can't decide who so dealers choice 🥴

Heyyyy anon sweetie!

Sorry I am just now replying, I have the flu so miss girl is struggling. I am planning to watch Trigun so I don’t do it yet, but please come back soon and request because I will once I watch it ✨

So BNHA DILFs huh? Yummy HC will be under the line.

First and foremost let’s assume that all of my DILFS are divorced DILFs ✨ single and on the prowl…

Let’s start with Daddy OneforAll:

DILF Izuku is that big hunk of man with the boyish charm that has NO IDEA how sexy he truly is. I have this idea about you meeting him in the park while he plays with his kids. His kid will accidentally throw a ball where you are reading a book in the shade of a tree and here he comes to retrieve it. Curls falling in his face, a blush covering his cheeks when he notices your beauty that makes his freckles pop…he will stammer a little when he asks for your number…

Next thing you know you’re in his apartment. He arranged for a sitter for his kids and he took you on a date; now he has you on his couch kissing sweetly on your neck asking you if all of this is okay. His large scarred fingers are playing at the hem of your shirt ready and willing to all but rip it from your body.

DILF Izuku is patient and wants to take his time worshipping every inch of your body when he has you laid in front of him. He treats you like a goddess came to earth just for him as he watches you come undone from his tongue while you beg for him to fuck you mercilessly.

“Don’t worry sweetheart…I’m going to give you exactly what you want. Gonna take care of you…”

Next up DILF Bakugo:

Now I HC you meet him at some event for his children. I think his daughters are dancers and maybe you are their instructor and when he caught sight of you in your tights—all bets were off. He began to flirt here and there until he finally was bold enough to ask for your number and take you out.

Now you are bent over his bed being absolutely wrecked as he is pounding into you with a handful of your hair. He is all muscle and hard planes bent over you growling into your ear—“that’s right, be a good fucking girl ‘f me”

Now once he’s made sure he’s ruined you for anyone else he’s going to spoil the absolute shit out of you and show up at your studio all the time—even on patrols just to give you kisses or food or little gifts he thinks you’ll love because you’re one of his girls now and

“I’ll always take care of my girls…”

Now on to DILF Kirishima!

You meet DILF Kiri at the gym—at kids gym of course! He’s taking his little one to kids gym for a day of fun but he catches sight of you lifting and decides you need a little…help..on your form. So he leaves his little one in the caring hands of the instructors and comes over to ask if you want some help. You are stunned and maybe a little grumpy (which he finds cute) but sure why not. After a little fun banter you ask him for his number because he’s hot and you haven’t had a good fu—I mean date in a while.

One thing leads to another and Kiri has you in a mating press in his bed rubbing circles on your clit with those large fingers. You’re in shambles over his frame pressing on you and his cock hitting that spot so well and he’s cooing how ‘aww pretty girl you are doing so well don’t cry’ as he is wiping your tears. After you have came more times than you can count and he has marked you with his teeth—he cleans you up in a warm shower together and you lay in his soft bed as he strokes your hair and tells you how beautiful you are. You’re whipped and he’s whipped.

Now you’re going to the gym with him and bringing him lunch to the agency and prancing around in Red Riot merch as his little girlie friend. Good thing you’re getting speared by his dick every day that ends in a “y”. You’ll be moving in soon.

DILF simps come get yalls juice—lemme know if you want any other DILFs ✨❤️

[v1viluv]

absolutely in shambles rn. i did the practice test 6 on bluebook today. tell me why is every single prep book/program so so so much easier?? where am i supposed to find hard questions that’d allow me to drill to the point that there could be no way i got less than 1500????

i’m so sick of college board rn… their new dsat format lowered my high school’s average from 1520 to 1420(i’m not the only one struggling wohoo!!), and I’ll never forgive them for that

my friends are gonna do test 6 tomorrow, and we will all go over it and discuss how tf we’re gonna approach this insanity.

i’m so close to begging my parents to buy me the 100$ dsat albert.io course, but idek if it’ll be helpful…

[chryzuree]

🌻🌻🌻

🌻 - in a real debate over whether i should reread the caraval trilogy rn, or read the selection trilogy for the first time because two friends have said they’re good popcorn reads…. both frighten me, in a way. but im also very excited to read them.

🌻 - a new soda place opened up near our home that juno and i frequented on a vacation a while back and i am THRILLED. but they had a taylor swift cookie of the month that was SOLD OUT UNTIL NEXT WEEK & MY HEART IS IN SHAMBLES……………… give me the pretty purple sparkly cookie…. please…………….. i swear i will be normal abt it……. anyway, the nat’l parks drink rules, sooo 🫶🏻 i wrote abt 2.5k words fueled on that thing.

🌻 - juno’s fav serial killer book got a sequel that has a pretty pink cover & i’m vvvvv excited to read it 🥰 plus the romance of this series is EXTREMELY slowburn, very respectful from both characters, AND there’s an obsessive serial killer that kills ppl artistically who is canonically very attractive & deranged. i think i need him. anyway, if ever you want to read that book, a good soundtrack is everybody wants to rule the world (tears for fears), red with love (pom pom squad), and maniac (michael sembello). and by good, i mean that those were the only three songs on loop while i slammed through that book while waiting to get my stitches out 🫶🏻

[artists-ally]

2024 Book List!

Not that anyone will care about this but I wanted to do it and have fun!! Here is a list of the books I have read so far this year and some of my thoughts!

1. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins

This was my favorite book of the Hunger Games trilogy. I haven’t read A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes but I do have it. I started the Hunger Games to cope with the fact that I didn’t have the next book for Throne of Glass, but I still loved it I cant wait to watch the movies!!

2. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

I still to this day have no idea what this ending was and I didn’t like the book enough to try and figure it out. It was alright, didn’t love the ending, and Katiness honestly pissed me off.

3. Heartless by Elsie Silver

Oh my GOD I LOVE THIS BOOK. This is the second book in the Chestnut Springs Series (Flawless, Heartless, Powerless, Reckless, Hopeless) Cade is the standard I have for men now. He is him. I want a grumpy, mid thirties, cowboy to tell me everything’s gonna be okay. Cade and Willa are my lord and saviors.

4. Powerless by Elsie Silver

This is the third book in the Chestnut Springs Series (Flawless, Heartless, Powerless, Reckless, Hopeless) and it was some of the best character development I’ve ever read about. It was fanfuckingtastic. So good, so we’ll thought out and so god damn smutty. Jasper is so 🤭🤭🤭 with his 6’4 tattooed ass.

5. Reckless by Elsie Silver

Theo. Silva. Is. Him. Bullriders are hot. Convince me otherwise. You cannot. Again, some amazing fucking character development form the FMC (Winter Hamilton). I love love love this book. My heart was so happy in the end.

6. Credence by Penelope Douglas

What the actual fuck did I just read. So…. She goes to love with her dads step brother and his two sons in the remote mountains of Colorado. And they get snowed in for the winter. And she’s the only women around. For five months. I’m gonna let y’all figure out the rest. But it has good moments? I think? It was so weird and I’m mad at myself for thinking some of it was hot. It’s fiction, it’s not real. (I’m delusional).

7. Where Broken Wings Fly by J. Rose

This book was outstanding. Fantastic character development and a really good portrayal of PTSD. It’s about a mom and her daughter who escape an arrange, abusive marriage and flee from Mexico to a remote mountain Villingen in England. The cliffhanger at the end made me want to absolutely tear down my house brick for brick to find the answers but I supposed buying the second book will do. It was so good, super smutty, absolutely beautiful.

8. How Does It Feel? By Jeneane O’Riley

What. The. Fuck. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. I AM SO NOT OKAY????? Those last two chapters had some Fourth Wing level plot twists that I had no hope of predicting. I am in shambles rn. Absolutely distressed over this fucking god damn mother fucking book. It’s about a biologist who falls through a faerie portal, onto the crowded prince. They think she’s an assassin sent to kill him, and he puts her through a lot of torture to prove her innocence. NOTHING. AND. I. MEAN. NOTHING. will prepare you for this ending.

9. Hopeless by Elsie Silver

AMAZING. 11/10 Elsie silver kills it ever time. This story is about Beau and Bailey. Arranged fake marriage, enemies to friends to lovers. He’s a medically retired special ops military guy and she’s got the worst last name in town. So cute. So sweet. So spicy. Beau Eaton is the standard I have for men now. He’s everything I need. Love love LOVE

10). One Dark Window by Rachel Ginning

My favorite book of the year. Hands down. I cannot stress how much I LOVED. THIS. FUCKING. BOOK. The main character Elspyth has been infected as a child and now harbors raw, unfiltered magic. It is a crime to use magic without the use of the Providence Cards. There are twelve Cards and they all give you separate abilities (strength, speed, beauty, to control others minds, influence emotions and so on). She had the ability to absorb the magic from these cards and now has one of them living inside her head. She teams up with a band of rebels to reunite the Cards in the deck to lift a deadly mist from their town. It’s insanity. It’s so crazy good idk how NO ONE HAS SAID ANYTHING I HAVE NEVER ONCE SEEN THIS BOOK ON BOOKTOK OR IG AND ITS CONCERNING. easily the best world building I’ve ever read. I finished the book last night and the second one will be here today 😭😭

[doeyedbambi]

just finished reading “the little prince” why am i in shambles rn…i haven’t cried over a book in a looong time🥺

[youre-on-your-ownkid]

*sigh* fIne sorry

let me catch you up on what happened. I watched heartstopper 5 times. I read all Sally Rooney books and decided I hate and love her writing at the same time. I read The House in The Cerulean Sea and decided that it's my comfort book now. I read pretty much every book of Taylor Jenkins Reid because I was bored and I love her. I watched all Marvel projects first day for no reason but to satisfy the empty void in my heart. I got into the hermitcraft side of mcyt as well and am religiously following the new season. also I realized Tubbo is probably my favourite person ever and Corpse released a new song out of nowhere and I died. I judged the Met Gala outfits as if I was a fashion expert when my own wardrobe is in shambles. I decided I was definitely demiromantic and came out to my friend group in this new school. And in other news, I'm looking for new schools once this year is over just cause one of the best friends I made here is moving to America but I might not cause eh who knows.

there you go, you're all caught up :)

hello :<

OMG SAME I WATCHED IT 6 TIMES SINCE IT RELEASED COMFORT SHOW COMFORT SHOW its literally therapy for young royals so-

ah i watched most of the shows on the days of release except the moon knight finale, watched it the day after. aLSO MOON KNIGHT?? IS?? SO?? GOOD?? LAYLA CHOKE ME CHALLENGE

yeah i finished like all of tjr books and MALIBU RISING OMG

lets pretend i understood what those mcyt things mean-

hAH SAME I LITERALLY MADE A WHOLE ASS POST ON IT ON INSTA AHAHA

yay samesies, i came out to like 3 people from school and they were all so nice :)

ahhh cool but why america(derogatory)

also like i got into kpop and im definitely an army rn. and i love skz, twice, mamamoo and txt now. so yeah.

[lostchildofthenewworld]

i haven’t had anything to do with asoiaf fanbase for years but i’ve just taken a dip back into it (temporary bc this shit is stressful‼️) out of a clawing need to see if the elia reception has improved & i’m glad to see some new writers for her when all i had was ramzes back in the day 😭 i’ve always felt a little too much for fictional characters like elia and i still am protective of her but i’m glad the pinnacle of my fury over how she’s treated in text and by fans occurred when i was a young teenager just getting into asoiaf because LORD if i had gone through that phase rn... my young adulthood would be in shambles. i’d outlive that white boy at 25yo just to be writing 8 meta posts per day and arguing with rheumatism and lollapalooza stans over pieces of paper... tragic

RHEUMATISM and Lollapalooza....PLEASE!

Yes Ramzes was really holding it down for the block for years writing Elia and Dorne content 😭 we stan an icon!!

I think the crazy thing is that before I got to the Dorne fandom I didn’t even pay attention, like not with the show or the books because I was just casual but the more I sat there and thought about it it really was like this when I realize how dirty they did Elia

And ever since I been spite writing. This is the perfect villain origin story with the way Rhomboid Trigonometry and Laundry Soap fans act when Dorne and Elia fans don’t buy the love story, that we are evil people who just hate true love.

[bellamyblakru]

HEYYYYYYY i’m so excited to respond to ur ask it made me so happy to see u in my notifs and i’m so excited for u for ur milestone! anyways i kinda want all of them but i decided to cut down to 🥺 :)))) 👀 pls rant i will read it all and ☕️ for morgwen andddd manon from the tog books. <3 <3 :*

HEY AMY!!! i hope you had a lovely day today🥺thank you for the ask💞

🥺- for my mutuals, ill talk about why i follow you and why everyone should be as well

omg im pretty sure i met and started following you like the day of that bellamy scene™️ because i remember thinking how fucking horrendous that episode ended, and, at the same time, how amazing that night on tumblr was aksnakaaj. so that night, tumblr was a fucking disaster and chaotic and funny asf. i remember texting @tkstrrand the entire ep (bc she couldn’t watch it for some reason) like how boring it was/how she wasn’t missing much blahblah and then when the death scene happened at the last fucking second, i sent her about a thousand separate incoherent texts in the span of like two minutes LOL tumblr was in shambles and i made a few posts about how fucking dumb the show was—one post i made i told my few new followers to fuck the 100 and just watch merlin and you texted me about it!! we have literally so much in common (with merlin, atla, the 100, tog!!!) that when you texted me about how you felt about that scene compared to merlin’s ending, my thought was like “this blog is so kind and we feel the same way and i need to follow asap.”

you are literally so sweet and lovely to talk to🥺that night™️ may had been disastrous, but i can look on it with a lighter heart because we met because of it!! every time we talk i always smile so much (and dw, i know i still have to get clone wars for our boy anakin👀👀)

dude, everyone should be following you because your blog is incredible, your tags are superb, and you are literally one of the sweetest people i’ve met on here😭💞 i adore you.

👀 - and ill tell you a parallel from merlin or the 100 that still fucks me up

this post for merthur still FUCKS ME UP by @camelotsheart

THE EYES. THE GIFSET’S BEAUTIFUL COLORING. THE EYES. EYES. I CANT. THIS GIFSET HAUNTS ME. parallels, man, i fucking love them.

☕️ + send me a ship/character/movie/book and ill give you my opinions on it

my opinions on morgwen:

I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I SHIP IT WITH MY WHOLE ASS SOUL. dude, their potential as a ship is incredible😭i fucking love them together. i wrote them as a side pairing in my first multi-chapter merthur fic and i adored writing their interactions and dynamic sm. if morgana was going to be with anyone, my first choice will always be gwen. i also read them as a pairing in fics all the time because the pure power-couple potential is insane.

hot ☕️ here™️: i think if someone was to bring morgana back from the brink of hatred, it should have been gwen (not merlin). so, like, i could definitely see merlin telling her about his magic and whatnot and maybe that would have stopped her from going dark side...but...i didn’t think merlin should have (ekk probably an unpopular opinion).

see, i love merlin with my entire heart..and tbh telling uther fucking pendragon’s ward that he had magic was just too much of a gamble—especially with arthur’s life on the line, which literally became merlin’s sole purpose in life (another matter for a different essay™️). i understand his need to keep it a secret from her even more when the large reptile repeatedly got into merlin’s head that she was bad news from the jump (also another matter for a different essay™️).

SO. that leaves two options for our miserable magical gal: arthur or gwen. now, i honestly believe arthur wouldn’t have hurt her if he was told. and i even think he may have became more sympathetic to the magical community because of it—especially when he saved mordred wayyyy early on that cemented the fact that arthur was not uther. but i can also understand why morgana wouldn’t tell arthur, and it’s pretty much the same reason merlin didn’t tell her about his magic: the risk was too big and she didn’t want to gamble her life with an unknown reaction.

now we get to the main point: gwen would have been the best option for her. whether it is platonic or not, gwen was always there for morgana. gwen is such a kind, loving soul, and she deeply respected and adored morgana—you can tell by the way she smiled around her in the beginning seasons, how she would get her flowers, how she would worry about morgana’s wellbeing. even though gwen was morgana’s servant, she cared for her in more ways than were required and it showed. they were best friends. the entire incident with gwen’s father, which was horrendous, might be the reason gwen would be rightfully upset about the subject of magic; however. she knew her father wasn’t magical, she knew uther was a tyrant, and she knew morgana’s heart. someone is gonna tell me that if morgana had explained to gwen what happened, how her magic was innate, how morgana would never fucking choose to have magic anywhere near her shithead guardian (who probably would have killed her imo if he knew bc you know the whole “fire will purify” bullshit), that gwen would hate her??? I MEAN LITERALLY WATCH THE LAST EPISODES AGAIN. when QUEEN GWEN realizes that the whole time it was merlin saving everyone’s asses, and she connected all the dots, her face showed nothing but pure understanding and acceptance.

gwen was such an underused character. her fucking potential arcs could have been phenomenal (again, LOL, another matter for a different essay™️), and the way canon made morgana use gwen was fucking gross and im not a fan🙃 but fuck canon. i ship them and i love them to pieces ✌🏻thank you for coming to my talk✌🏻

my opinions on manon mf blackbeak:

oh boy, where do i start? i would die for her...is that too extreme for the starting place? i fucking LOVE manon blackbeak dude. oh my god, so, remember when her and aelin fought for the first time in QoS? i remember jumping up from my lounging position with my hand over my smiling mouth because i love both of these badass hardcore women with everything i am. i mean, aelin owns my ass (she is probably my favorite character of all time rn) but manon hits differently. her storyline at the beginning was so bleh, but, man, did it escalate fast to “holy shit” to “i fucking love her” to “oh fuck im sobbing.”

the only thing i will complain about with her character in canon was the fact that my girl was straight???? excuse me?? she has been alive for fucking forever and she is straight? no. i cant accept that. tbh i ship manon and elide🥺 (i also ship dorain and chaol oops). but her character development was everything and i cant think too long on what happens because i will start crying tbh sksjsmakks

okay wow im so sorry for, uh, spilling every thought i had into this. it legit took me like a day to respond 😔

i appreciate you so much. thank you🥺💞

[surveysonfleek]

1548.

Zodiac Bingo 

Aries Gotta go fast Independence Participant, always Fuck you, don’t tell me what do to *brooding intensifies* Good sense of humor I ain’t neva scared “I’m not competitive but I’m gonna win” Assertive Going first Running yellow lights

People are drawn to you even tho you don’t invite them Feelings = action Impulsivity Creative Leader Competent “I thought you didn’t like me”-everyone Accidentally hurting people’s feelings Shares everything with partner What if the pope blasted cigs? Starting shit you don’t feel like finishing “I guess that was rude” No. 9/24

Taurus Treat yo’self Underappreciated at work Loyalty Great tastes in art&culture Spoiled (or wishing you were) Robe appreciation A vice (alcohol, weed, or comfort food) Homemaking/nesting Continuing to do something you don’t love just because you’re resistant to change Affection via touch Easy going Perfecting a wardrobe that is both comfy and flawless Having good ass eyebrows Highkey sensitive Stubborn af Not even taking your *own* advice Gossiping Lady in the street but a freak in the bed Creativity Spooning Commitment Stressing out over a change in someone’s tone of voice Finishing what you started Lots of venting lol 9/24

Gemini Unpopular opinion factory Secret&diverse intellectual landscape “Oh I got really into *miscellaneous hobby or topic* for a while” Intellectualizing or ignoring feelings Cleaning maybe once a year Look, a distraction! Thinking faster than you can talk Restless without hobbies Talking faster than you can think Reading four books at once Tons of energy Teaching others what you know Trivia machine Moodiness Knowing everything but also forgetting everything Existential crisis “Sorry I forgot to text you back” So many interests so little time Accidentally talking too loud Young at heart Pretty good public speaker Endless scrolling Shitposting Unpredictable sleep schedule 5/24

Cancer Connecting with women “Guess I’ll have to love you with my whole heart and soul” Vegetarianism/veganism Fear of rejection Surrounding yourself with soft blankets and  mood lighting Ferocious protector “I’m not going to dwell on it” *dwells on it* Takes child-rearing seriously Hardshell protecting soft ego Feeding sad friends Forecast: mood swings Heart of gold but still a badass Bad with boundaries Learning how to relax like it’s your job Lightweight drinker Yeah. Crying, ok? It’s not a big deal Mama trauma Food = comfort Nostalgia as a coping mechanism Identify built off memories Complaining Very emotionally intuitive of others Big fan of physical and emotional affection People telling you all their BS all the time 9/24

Leo Friendly Self-indulgence Never being able to tell if you’re the best or the worst People trying to compete with you lol Sensitive Decent at cheering people up Great hair Wardrobe swings between hot as hell and lazy af Interrupting Having a sense of honor Not doing something because you’re not good at it Talking too loud Finding dogs pretty relatable Creative talent Super supportive friend Enthusiasm Socializing like it’s your job&then needing to recharge Memes Priorities: eating and sleeping Boo hiss at rejection Looking good even when you feel like shit Drama Needing lots of love Loyal 9/24

Virgo Relating to Hermione Granger Gives great advice even when your own life is in shambles Flirting and running, an autobiography Petty Pretty damn intelligent Loving words/linguistics 8 hours of “studying” = 1 hour of real work Swings between clean and slobbish Indecision Splurging on food Mom friend A freak on the DL Peculiar eating habits Pretty good with words Good with pets and/or kids Known to schedule sex Multitasking af Cleaning as a coping mechanism “It me” Loves self-care but deprioritizes it 0 to hottie in 2 seconds flat Lowkey wood nymph All the receipts Bratty sub or service top 10/24

Libra If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all Pls no fighting Good judge of character Leadership roles in friendships Takes up less emotional space for the well being of others Art adoration Real glo up wizards Nature adoration Hates boredom Wholesome Keep it cute Emotionally braced for betrayal Lowkey running from problems with people Falling in love with people’s hearts/minds Investing in your appearance Loves all things cute Always the mediator Trust issues Charming Staying up to date on culture Taking the high road Always putting your feelings aside for others Aesthetics Mom friend 6/24

Scorpio Growing up early Being a new person every few years Black/dark wardrobe Pain is cool Interest in psychology/criminology/sociology Privacy Sexual but not promiscuous All or nothing thinking Intelligent Loner/lonely Taking care of everyone Would kill or die for loved ones Protective as fuck Bloodhound for truth Deep Fascination with death/insanity/occultism Love-hate relationships “idk I’m just feeling numb rn” Jealous or possessive Trust issues Loyal as fuck Secretly soft Gets shit done Boundaries 6/24

Sagittarius Long ass bucket list Prefers to mind their own business Unbothered Nice enough that people always think you’re hitting on them Fear of missing out Optimism Honest and upfront Your shit is lowkey not together Plenty of friends Snobby enough to have good taste Flirting your way into something you can’t finish Storyteller or philosophical preacher “Here for a good time, not a long time” “…rude” Free spirit “Films” Distracted Smarter than you look I’m just speaking my truth! “I’m just inviting a few people” Falls in love with your mind, then your body Blows up the aux cord Hedonism phases Horniness gets you into some shit lol 11/24

Capricorn On your grind Discipline dgaf attitude Stoic in the streets, softie in the sheets Planning ahead, way ahead Always prepared (Un)healthy coping mechanisms Likes structure Prioritizing self-mastery Loyal protector of friends, babies, and animals Basically born an adult Dark humor People being mad about your tough love Old soul Major procrastinator Kind of a know-it-all on the DL Major sadness and madness People thanking you for your tough love People think you’re responsible “Why was I programmed to feel pain” meme Parenting your parents “Lock that in the trauma vault” Either a loner or a socialite Giving advice like it’s your job 5/24

Aquarius Me, an intellectual: Needing to do things your way Superiority complex Gossip Conspiracy theories Skepticism Not even having the energy to tell people how wrong they are Courteous/considerate People love you but you hate people Lonely Outsider syndrome Relating to cats a great deal Hates being told what to do or when to do it Not trusting someone/something that’s popular Being accused of being emotionless Insightful Feeling like the only rational person in a room Existential crisis Devil’s advocate just to get people to think Rationalizing tf out of your feelings Hates small talk Vices You’re entitled to your opinion no matter how wrong it is Interest in sociology, psychology, and politics 10/24

Pisces Empath Dramatic Poetry or music Lots of imagination, fluctuating identity Getting high on being outside (and maybe weed) Alone time “Idk I’m just a lil sad rn idk” Spiritual af Helping people heal Existential dread Pets love you Mommy issues Good with kids Cathartic crying over art, movies, or nature Knowing how people feel before they do Feeling misunderstood/alone “Go with the flow” Encountering spirits On life: “I’m just here for the ride” Drugs Forgiving others but blaming yourself Kindness Sorry, I was dissociating Exploring nature 3/24

I am most like a: Sagittarius

I am actually a: Sagittarius (I actually don’t really believe in starsigns but here you go lol)

[i-fan-misha-do-you]

Misadventures Pt. 3

  Word Count: 1180

  Warnings: Sad, minor character death, crying, death anniversary, kinda fluffy ending

  A/N: Hello everyone! I’m back for a bit, but I am in the middle of moving rn, so idk when I’ll post again. Hopefully I will get the next chapter of JAGiA done soon. But for now, enjoy this!

    You sighed as your head hit the pillows; pulling the covers up over your body, you disparately tried to fall asleep and forget today’s events. Today was the ten year anniversary of the day your older brother had died. He had taken you on a hunt when he was eighteen, against your father’s permission. It was such an easy hunt, just a ghost bothering an old house, but turned out to be six witches. You were sixteen when it had happened.

------------

   Flashback:

  “Come on, Y/n/n, it’s a salt ‘n burn. It’s so easy.” Your older brother was trying to persuade you to go on a hunt with him.

  “No, Mason.” You groaned. “Dad said he’d take care of it once he got back. We’re just supposed to do research.” You hardened your gaze and returned to your book, flipping through it and jotting down information as you came across it. Suddenly, your book was ripped away from you. You looked up to see your brother hide your book behind his back.

  “Mason,” you glared at him, “give it back.”

  “Y/n, you’re a hunter. Or at least, you’re supposed to be. Come on, one hunt. It’s so easy, you could do it in your sleep.”

  “Mason, no! We’re not supposed to. Dad said - “

  “You scared?”

  Your mouth fell open and you scoffed at him. “No, I’m just a good kid.”

  “No, you’re scared, and you’re not a real hunter.” Before you could reply, he left the room, returning with a duffle bag.

  “I’m heading out in five minutes. Join me or stay here, I don’t really care anymore.”

  You sighed, already knowing what you would choose.

 -----

  Slamming the door behind you, you ignored your brothers triumphant smirk as you mounted the motorcycle behind him, securing your helmet. Once your backpack was safely stowed in the saddlebag, he revved the engine twice and shot off down the road.

  It was already four in the afternoon when you’d left, and by the time you got to the town the hunt was in, it was six thirty. Deciding that you had to be back before your dad, you’d gone straight to the house.

 You’d gone in fairly confident that you could take whatever the ghost could throw at you, but five minutes later the hunt was in shambles. It wasn’t a spirit that inhabited the old mansion, but six witches, hell-bent on killing you.

 Mason had managed to get you two out of the house by throwing a glass vase above a doorway; the glass had shattered on four of the six witches, momentarily blinding them.

  You’d made it to the front yard, motorcycle only a few yards away, when your brother had suddenly fallen behind you. You’d turned around in time to see one of the witches use a spell that had him bound. Lying there on the ground, he suddenly started to gasp for air as the witch behind him squeezed her fist. It seemed as though she was crushing the life out of him.

  The last thing he’d said to you was a strangled, “run…” before he could no longer breathe. Tears streaming down your face, you ran for the motorcycle, and you didn’t look back. Not when you heard the sounds of bones breaking, and not when you heard the witch’s shrill laughter, indicating that your big brother had died.

  End Flashback

    You squeezed your eyes shut as your mind replayed everything over and over. You were so wrapped up in your thoughts that you didn’t hear your door open and shut softly.

  You felt the bed dip, and a large, warm hand run comfortingly up and down your arm.

  “You alright, Y/n/n?” Sam asked quietly. You bit the inside of your cheek, trying not to cry before you decided to let your guard down, just this once. You shook your head ‘no’ as you blinked several times, willing the tears to go away.

  “You wanna talk about it?” You shook your head no again. Sam let out a small sigh before scooping you up and pulling you into his arms. You stiffened for a moment before allowing yourself to relax and enjoy the much needed comfort.

  Shifting so he was laying against the headboard, Sam rocked back and forth, the constant swaying motion soothing you. You closed your eyes and nestled your head into Sam’s chest. Breathing deeply, you inhaled the familiar scent of gunpowder and books that he always seemed to smell like.

  “You lost someone, didn’t you?” He asked after a few moments of silence. You nodded hesitantly.

  “My older brother.” You said, feeling tears pricking your eyes once again. “It was the first time he went hunting alone. Well, sort of. He brought me. He shouldn’t have brought me. Then maybe he’d still be alive.” You whispered the last sentence and tears started to drip down your face.

  “Shh, shh, shh. It’s alright, Y/n, I’ve got you. It’s alright.” Sam said reassuringly, continuing to rock you as one of his hands moved up to stroke your hair. The repeated movements combined with the familiar comfort of the younger Winchester was enough to put you to sleep. Once Sam realized you were no longer awake, he smiled sadly and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, standing up and moving you onto your bed before covering you up with blankets.

  --------------

     You woke up to find that Sam was gone. Sitting up slowly, you rubbed your eyes as you looked around the room. Just as you were about to get up, you heard a soft knock on the door before Dean pushed it open, carrying a tray. Once he saw that you were awake, one side of his mouth curled upwards in a small smile. He walked further into the room, setting the tray down on your desk.

  “Hey sweetheart. Thought maybe some coco would cheer you up a bit. Sammy told me about today.” You nodded and gave him a soft smile.

  “Thanks Dean.” You carefully took the mug that he offered you, sipping it slowly as he sat down next to you, his own mug in hand.

  “We’re gonna take today off, okay?” Dean said, looking you firmly in the eye. “No hunts, no research, nothing. Just some good old fashioned family time.”

  The pure love and concern that radiated from his gaze made you instantly feel safe. Made you feel alright. For the first time in many years, this wouldn’t be your burden to bear alone.

   “Ok.” You nodded, leaning against the older hunter’s shoulder. “Thank you, Dean.” You whispered. He gently pressed his lips to the top of your head before resting his chin there.

  “We’re all we got, sweetheart. I’ll look out for you and Sammy till the day I die, and you would do the same. Family sticks together.”

  “Family sticks together.” You repeated softly, so quiet that Dean almost didn’t hear you. But he did, and a smile ghosted his lips. You were family. It would be rough, but you would always have each other. Always.

[surveyhoursss]

4.

Zodiac Bingo

Aries Gotta go fast Independence Participant, always Fuck you, don’t tell me what do to *brooding intensifies* Good sense of humor I ain’t neva scared “I’m not competitive but I’m gonna win” Assertive Going first Running yellow lights

People are drawn to you even tho you don’t invite them Feelings = action Impulsivity Creative Leader Competent “I thought you didn’t like me”-everyone Accidentally hurting people’s feelings Shares everything with partner What if the pope blasted cigs? Starting shit you don’t feel like finishing “I guess that was rude” No. 6/24

Taurus Treat yo’self Underappreciated at work Loyalty Great tastes in art&culture Spoiled (or wishing you were) Robe appreciation A vice (alcohol, weed, or comfort food) Homemaking/nesting Continuing to do something you don’t love just because you’re resistant to change Affection via touch Easy going Perfecting a wardrobe that is both comfy and flawless Having good ass eyebrows Highkey sensitive Stubborn af Not even taking your *own* advice Gossiping Lady in the street but a freak in the bed Creativity Spooning Commitment Stressing out over a change in someone’s tone of voice Finishing what you started Lots of venting lol 15/24

Gemini Unpopular opinion factory Secret&diverse intellectual landscape “Oh I got really into *miscellaneous hobby or topic* for a while” Intellectualizing or ignoring feelings Cleaning maybe once a year Look, a distraction! Thinking faster than you can talk Restless without hobbies Talking faster than you can think Reading four books at once Tons of energy Teaching others what you know Trivia machine Moodiness Knowing everything but also forgetting everything Existential crisis “Sorry I forgot to text you back” So many interests so little time Accidentally talking too loud Young at heart Pretty good public speaker Endless scrolling Shitposting Unpredictable sleep schedule 14/24

Cancer Connecting with women “Guess I’ll have to love you with my whole heart and soul” Vegetarianism/veganism Fear of rejection Surrounding yourself with soft blankets and  mood lighting Ferocious protector “I’m not going to dwell on it” *dwells on it* Takes child-rearing seriously Hardshell protecting soft ego Feeding sad friends Forecast: mood swings Heart of gold but still a badass Bad with boundaries Learning how to relax like it’s your job Lightweight drinker Yeah. Crying, ok? It’s not a big deal Mama trauma Food = comfort Nostalgia as a coping mechanism Identify built off memories Complaining Very emotionally intuitive of others Big fan of physical and emotional affection People telling you all their BS all the time 11/24

Leo Friendly Self-indulgence Never being able to tell if you’re the best or the worst People trying to compete with you lol Sensitive Decent at cheering people up Great hair Wardrobe swings between hot as hell and lazy af Interrupting Having a sense of honor Not doing something because you’re not good at it Talking too loud Finding dogs pretty relatable Creative talent Super supportive friend Enthusiasm Socializing like it’s your job&then needing to recharge Memes Priorities: eating and sleeping Boo hiss at rejection Looking good even when you feel like shit Drama Needing lots of love Loyal 12/24

Virgo Relating to Hermione Granger Gives great advice even when your own life is in shambles Flirting and running, an autobiography Petty Pretty damn intelligent Loving words/linguistics 8 hours of “studying” = 1 hour of real work Swings between clean and slobbish Indecision Splurging on food Mom friend A freak on the DL Peculiar eating habits Pretty good with words Good with pets and/or kids Known to schedule sex Multitasking af Cleaning as a coping mechanism “It me” Loves self-care but deprioritizes it 0 to hottie in 2 seconds flat Lowkey wood nymph All the receipts Bratty sub or service top 14/24

Libra If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all Pls no fighting Good judge of character Leadership roles in friendships Takes up less emotional space for the well being of others Art adoration Real glo up wizards Nature adoration Hates boredom Wholesome Keep it cute Emotionally braced for betrayal Lowkey running from problems with people Falling in love with people’s hearts/minds Investing in your appearance Loves all things cute Always the mediator Trust issues Charming Staying up to date on culture Taking the high road Always putting your feelings aside for others Aesthetics Mom friend 17/24

Scorpio Growing up early Being a new person every few years Black/dark wardrobe Pain is cool Interest in psychology/criminology/sociology Privacy Sexual but not promiscuous All or nothing thinking Intelligent Loner/lonely Taking care of everyone Would kill or die for loved ones Protective as fuck Bloodhound for truth Deep Fascination with death/insanity/occultism Love-hate relationships “idk I’m just feeling numb rn” Jealous or possessive Trust issues Loyal as fuck Secretly soft Gets shit done Boundaries 13/24

Sagittarius Long ass bucket list Prefers to mind their own business Unbothered Nice enough that people always think you’re hitting on them Fear of missing out Optimism Honest and upfront Your shit is lowkey not together Plenty of friends Snobby enough to have good taste Flirting your way into something you can’t finish Storyteller or philosophical preacher “Here for a good time, not a long time” “…rude” Free spirit “Films” Distracted Smarter than you look I’m just speaking my truth! “I’m just inviting a few people” Falls in love with your mind, then your body Blows up the aux cord Hedonism phases Horniness gets you into some shit lol 5/24

Capricorn On your grind Discipline dgaf attitude Stoic in the streets, softie in the sheets Planning ahead, way ahead Always prepared (Un)healthy coping mechanisms Likes structure Prioritizing self-mastery Loyal protector of friends, babies, and animals Basically born an adult Dark humor People being mad about your tough love Old soul Major procrastinator Kind of a know-it-all on the DL Major sadness and madness People thanking you for your tough love People think you’re responsible “Why was I programmed to feel pain” meme Parenting your parents “Lock that in the trauma vault” Either a loner or a socialite Giving advice like it’s your job 11/24

Aquarius Me, an intellectual: Needing to do things your way Superiority complex Gossip Conspiracy theories Skepticism Not even having the energy to tell people how wrong they are Courteous/considerate People love you but you hate people Lonely Outsider syndrome Relating to cats a great deal Hates being told what to do or when to do it Not trusting someone/something that’s popular Being accused of being emotionless Insightful Feeling like the only rational person in a room Existential crisis Devil’s advocate just to get people to think Rationalizing tf out of your feelings Hates small talk Vices You’re entitled to your opinion no matter how wrong it is Interest in sociology, psychology, and politics 12/24

Pisces Empath Dramatic Poetry or music Lots of imagination, fluctuating identity Getting high on being outside (and maybe weed) Alone time “Idk I’m just a lil sad rn idk” Spiritual af Helping people heal Existential dread Pets love you Mommy issues Good with kids Cathartic crying over art, movies, or nature Knowing how people feel before they do Feeling misunderstood/alone “Go with the flow” Encountering spirits On life: “I’m just here for the ride” Drugs Forgiving others but blaming yourself Kindness Sorry, I was dissociating Exploring nature 14/24

I am most like a: Libra

I am actually a: Taurus

[ts-crossroads]

Episode Eight - “Get Your Head Out of the Gutter, And Maybe Get A Brain” - Bryan

holy mother of everything good in this world i cannot believe we just pulled that off and im still probably in the clear

WHAT THE FUCK!!! Ok then. So Dane is telling me that Ned was just too big of a threat. But I’m so fucking pissed still. Whatever. I’m on a 4-6 minority with me Sam and Jake. However I hope Dane is willing to flip back. But I’d still need one more...dang it. I got work to do.

My hands r so dirty rn like BITCH LOLLL. Im actually terrible. Ned could have stayed if I voted with them. Too bad he had to be fake! Sorry not Sorry! Basically that shit wouldn't have happened if Rebecka and I didn't think it needed to. And Jake and Bryan are blaming DANE AND JOHN LOL THIS IS PERFECT. I'm actually DYINGGGG LMAOOO. 

fuck john fucking liar i fucking saved his ucking ass twice and this is how he repays me fuck out of here i can’t deal with these bitches everyone who voted out ned SUCKS AND I PUT SO MUCH TRUST INTO JOHN IM LITERALLY THE REASON WHY HE MADE IT TO MERGE AND HE CANT EVEN BE LOYAL FOR ONE FUCKING ROUND 

6-5 i was SHAKING during the tribal. i owe rebecka and julia m'life. i talked to sam/ned/autumn/jake more than i talked to rebecka and julia so im shocked they were the ones to save me??? as a previous winner im gonna be a loyal hoe to those who kept me. and autumn at least gave me the heads up that i was probably leaving, and it sucked i couldn't let her know i had a plan to save myself. like she was telling me "talk to ned, rebecka, haley and we can do something" and i already did that minus ned. i loved ned sm. i hate that this happened. but like he and sam were willing to turn on haley and i SO fast. i don't like that... also haley told john and i that she and chris were dating and LOL that makes so much sense it did'nt shock me. i'm glad i always talked good about haley to chris and vise versa.

I am so emotional and not ready to write this confessional. First it started with me fucking up. I thought I could trust Dane but I couldn’t. I knew Autumn wasn't with us but I didn’t think we would lose 2 impala to the other side. Then I fucked up more by telling Ned that we are safe and not to play an idol. I gave him my idol half which he then gave back to me and then told me he had a whole idol. He asked me several times if he should play it and I said no every time because I trusted everyone. I truly let Ned down and I don't know how I am going to go through this game without him. He was the 1 person I trusted with my entire game and now he's gone. I sound so dramatic but whatever, I lost my final 2. I can have all the feelings I want. I just don't know what to do now regarding who to work with. I also hate myself more bc I had tribal in another game immediately afterwards, and Ned was in this game with me. Anyway, Ned got 4 votes, I got 3. He had a super idol, which he could have played on himself after votes were read, and he made an announcement that he wasn't playing it because I deserve to be there more than him. I literally cried so much. Ned went home in 2 games back to back because of me. I fucked up the first tribal and he went home with an idol in his pocket and he gave up his game for me the second tribal. I know that this is going to be a relationship that I cherish for a long time. I truly care for him so deeply and it goes deeper than any game ever could. If I get nothing else out of this game, at least I got to form this beautiful and magical friendship with Ned. I can figure out the rest of this game tomorrow.

Me after getting blindsided in two different Survivor orgs within five minutes of each other https://twitter.com/ricardojkay/status/945781023006105600 Owen lucky Ned gave me a pep talk on his way out cause this is some bullshit and I sure was about to cut my losses and walk #yalldontdeserveme

 Well I went from everyone having to split the votes Ryan and I which would of led me to go home. I got everyone to switch that didn't want to put Ryan or my name down which was Julia,John,Rebecka,Ryan, and Dane. It definitely shows that they all can be trusted since Ned was the one that left last night. Bryan is still targeting me for the whole Emily vote which is bullshit that vote was forever ago and why would we tell the person that invited her to tribal it was going to be her and then have Bryan go back and tell Emily. I hope all the campaigning Bryan did to work against me just showed him who really has the numbers. I'm now going to make sure if Bryan doesn't get immunity again that he goes next. 

Ok so I really don't know who to trust at this point. I miss Ned soooo much. A lot of people from the other side have come to me to clear the air, but I really don't see a way to recover from this. Yesterday was an actual mess. Julia was lowkey bullying Bryan in the merge chat. I say lowkey, because it wasn't personal, it was game related, but it was extreme overkill. Bryan had said "ok thats fine" and "I see what I did wrong, I learned from my mistakes" etc and she continued to say things like "now go shit talk me more, I know you will" and it was just really rude. And Haley cheering her on in the background definitely amplified the situation to make Bryan feel worse. I feel like the only people I can trust are Bryan, Autumn, and Jake. It's hard though, because I know Bryan is a threat who needs to go. Autumn rarely talks to me. And I recently got close to Jake, so I know he has been working with Bryan a lot longer and would choose him over me in a heart beat. Dane seems to think that him flipping to vote out Ned wasn't "picking sides" and now everyone can be on a more even playing field. At least that's what he told me. He also doesn't want to think of them as "sides," he wants to vote out Bryan next. If there are sides and I vote out Bryan, It's literally going to be down to 3 vs 6, with me in the minority. As much as I love and miss Ned, I don't want to be in that jury. I want to be at FTC with Ned rooting for me the whole time. I also don't know how to feel right now. I'm conflicted, because everyone is telling me shady/sketchy things about Ned and reassuring me that it is best he is gone because he was untrustworthy, but I really don't think I believe it. Like I know Ned is such an honest and genuine person, I really can't see him playing me like that. And of course everyone will try to justify voting him out to me, it was so obvious we were a f2, we had never separated the ENTIRE game. Literally day 1 we were on impala and stayed there. I just don't know where to go from here. I'm upset that Haley and Dane won reward, it seems like the worst people to have won. Hopefully it doesn't help them in immunity. I really want to win. I'm scared though that if I do, Bryan will leave. A lot of people are upset about how he acted last round when he was immune. I don't know how I feel, I really just need to see how the next day goes. ALSO Dane getting under 5 minutes in that maze seems toooooo good. Like I did it as fast as I could and couldn't even finish half of it in that time. It seems very impossible. 

Errybody and they mama has been in my pm's explaining themselves and I'm like lmao ok but you're still cancelled. I have a heart though so I (probably) won't come for the apologizers first on the hitlist. DID SOMEBODY SAY HITLIST?!?! Yep it's about that time/ I'm back doing what I do best https://78.media.tumblr.com/b6fa3f3b282c7314c79578a6599d56b3/tumblr_n49f6q9bH11rsrbdko1_500.gif Also shoutout to everyone who believes in me. Thank you and sorry if I scared you I was like eyeball deep in my feelings after that vote (and Athena All Stars but we won't get into). I am NOT walking because there's too much justice that needs to be served

NED!!!! If Chris was my Beth, you were my Glenn cause you're so positive and hero-like aaaaannnd because I was a wreck when you died lol. Is it bad that I couldn't stop crying? http://cimg.tvgcdn.net/i/2016/12/15/b1aca255-c49f-4f8f-be1f-853d48cd3f55/maggie.gif I really hadn't seen the vote until you asked if I flipped. Then I went to watch the rest of the tribal video and started sobbing. Did I flip? Absolutely not and if I hadn't left the call, Crossroads would have my reaction to prove it. Whew if I had seen that shit live... look I'm an ugly crier and Crossroads can only exploit what I give it lmao. Anyway we spent half the game trying to make it back to each other only for you to die 5 minutes later and that suuucks rip. THANKS JULIA! YEP YOU HEARD RIGHT SIS IS NEGAN!!! Under all the humor and cute pro pics... tragic. Bryan only killing Chris and not you? Never judge a book by its cover haha. Anyway I hate this happened to you because you deserved so much better and I hope you're in a better place in jury. Imperium is in shambles- Scrappy is out here squaring up in people's pm's, Velma has gone awol, and Scooby is in the doghouse since everyone knows he has fleas. Idk what's about to happen but you're right everyone is a snake. Ok I should go I have a lot to do if I'm gonna make it to the end because #owensucks #crossroadsisugly Thank you for like playing this whack game and believing in me when I didn't believe in myself @ everyone else: https://78.media.tumblr.com/a661740fa7785ef674d1c8ef7971f4f9/tumblr_myzplpOrQ51ql5yr7o1_500.gif NOTHING YOU CAN SAY WILL STOP ME FROM BEING PETTY AND SENDING YOUR ASSES TO JURY SO SAVE YOUR BREATH!!! Do you need to explain yourself? Absolutely. Will it make a difference? NOPE. If you gave a fuck about me you wouldn't have lied in the first place. Also everything you say to me can and will be used against you so y'all really need to chill. I mean it- stop checking in like we're good because you will not know the answer to that until the game ends. Thinking that we're friends doesn't make it true. But you know what is true? I will send every single one of you to jury and I cannot fucking wait

I wish Jake would send things in one or two messages and not seven or eight 

OKAY So hours before the last tribal I wanted to vote out Jake because he's lodged up Bryan's ass. However, the only person that Ryan could get enough people to target was Ned due to the amount of people that he pissed off. So honestly between Ned or Ryan to stay? I think it's pretty obvious for me to know what's better for my game. :) After the tribal council however Bryan immediately called me and started yelling at me and demanding he knows what my strategy is moving forward in the game, but I wasn't going to give it away, so now I'm playing the role of the dumb sheep and I'm starting to make people believe that I'm not worth it to vote out at the moment. Anyways! After that call I thought I would give Bryan the benefit of the doubt and I just assumed that the tribal council would be a wake up call for his attitude, but nothing changed! He immediately ran his rat ass to Ryan and started talking shit about me so now I'm pissed at Bryan again. Now here we are again hours before the tribal council again and it's a shit show because from my point of view I think the votes are going to fall between Bryan and Julia.... maybe. Julia and Bryan had a "fight" in the main chat but I honestly believe it to be fake and I think Julia flipped back to Bryan and my paranoid ass is starting to believe that they're going to conspire against me and vote me out. BUT! I do think that my social standings with Sam would help me get past this vote. With that being said though I may have to abuse Sam's kindness to further myself into the rest of the game. I was thinking with Ryan and if we get Haley on board we can vote 3 votes onto Autumn or Sam (wildcards atm) and in the case that Bryan plays his idol (BTW I FORGOT TO SAY I FOUND AN IDOL RIGHT BEFORE TRIBAL LAST ROUND OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MAMA) we can play one of our idols and get out Sam or Autumn. However, if we do that then we isolate ourselves as a 3 which is why Bryan, Jake, and John were targeted in the first place for.  This tribal council is going to be just as messy as the last one and I'm terrified and I don't want to waste my idol if people are telling the truth and isolate myself, but I don't want to go home with an idol in my pocket. 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j4Xsc4Y0tbk

This round has just been a clusterfuck. After the Ned blindside I called John and found out that Julia was lying to my face and voted Ned which pissed me off so I exposed Julia shit talking John to me to John. After the call with John I told Bryan, Sam, and Autumn about Julia lying to us and I connected with Autumn finally. Bryan of course went and told everyone about Julia so Julia blew up on him in the main chat, gr8. Anyways I'm shook because I won the immunity and I really feel like I needed it this round for the potential of people voting me. Of course people were targetting Bryan and this twist could have changed things up, but John and Dane are too scared to make a move and there's no way we can vote Julia out this round which sucks. Idk what else to do, I tried. I just have to hope that things change soon or I'll be picked off. 

Sam pissed me off tonight. I was considering to flip to get Julia out but then after talking to her and Bryan I realise that this bottom four is getting closer. Sam and Bryan both mentioned they trusted each other. They lie for each other. I called Sam because I wanted to talk about voting Julia out the round after Bryan leaves and then when I tell her Dane & I are not flipping she goes from this happy girl with a happy voice to this sad girl and we sit in silence. Like... she was sad I wasn't flipping... like girl... why would I flip to the four fucking people who lied to me and voted for me. I want to flip honestly but not while there's that many people!!!!!!! I like Rebecka and Julia but they don't talk to me and I know they're closer to Dane & Haley as well with each other. Dane told me he got a FULL idol... cute John told me he has half the idol which I helped him get. I have my full idol. Haley has half an idol. So at least I know where these powers are going. My dream plan was to vote Julia out next but Sam kinda pissed me off. Autumn's been very real with me and Jake's been so active and apologetic in my pms. My dream is now to vote Sam off next and have John/Dane/Me/Autumn/Jake vote Julia after that. Maybe Rebecka too after. Then vote off Jake/Autumn. I'm super super tight with Haley, Dane, Coffey. I obviously know Coffey/Dane from my past but idk, I want to play and work with Haley because she's cool and new. I think I'd give Coffey 4th place. Go f3 Haley/Dane, and if it's a F2 I'll figure it out later. But i doubt I'll ever get there!! I bet Sam will win the F9 immunity ffs i hope not.

hey!! flopbecka here (@ashley the jingle jingle reindeer is anywhere hi!! thx for hating me im so happy to use the name u gave me <3 ) so i still dont know wtf is happening in the game, im in like a 6 person chat that i thought was just to get ned out, and now i think its like actually a real alliance chat? im confused af idk. I really want to work with autumn in this game and i just hope she still wants to after i didnt fill her in on the ned vote so woo go team 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOKbOoj7yo0&t=6s

[princeyangg-blog]

18/08/17

i wake up a little late. i check tumblr but vin hasnt been online in the last hour- he must still be asleep! i miss him so much, i love you need to get some breakfast

started reading my book. aim to do ~50 pages today grumpy hhhh i want my bf so Badly im so fucking grumpy im feeling a lot better!! mannn i love my bf im glad this book is nearly over. im developing a paranoia that my bf doesnt want me based on this books narrators thoughts vin has an (assumed) short struggle with deciding whether not to go to a party or not. this struck me out of the blue. hes ‘clingy’? (to nathan). i always thought that was associated with your partner, not friends. even urban dictionary agrees then again, who am i to judge for his vocabulary? or even their friendship. ive entered vincents life for a total of one year so far- and i cannot hope to be more significant than someone who has been best friends for well over 4, maybe even 5 years. the fact that vin has changed his last name to nathans is sure proof of that. in many ways, i am sure nathan has made a fantastic friend. but 'clingy’? how many times we have told each other we were clingy? no one else had told me that. it really did something special to me, and i have always treasured myself as a token of clinginess. obviously, and much rather rudely, i had assumed that he was clingy Only to Me. that i was his Only One. its nothing much. i am sure it was more of a gesture of honesty and admittance of helplessness. i am sure if i was in the same position, id do the same. i never suffered depression and anxiety like vin did, could i blame him? but its all kind of built up. the little nuisances. i havent been too happy with the long pauses between texts. i have no idea whats going on!! i do try and let vincent know what i am doing but it seems examples dont lead. i would have appreciated if at least i was told that there would be slow replies, or no replies.. approaching the end of the week, i realise its kind of been a revelation of many things. first, my overwhelming jealousy. yeah.. i need to get that fixed. shaking hands rn. honestly im such a bitcher about things but this is my diary, right? secondly, my results!!! ❤️ lastly, im in a good position to steam ahead with my preparation for the school term. when i finish this book, ill be in good shape to start revising my english and economics. im an old hypocrite myself, and i am sure that i have done many of the things ive said above. as much as i perhaps like to think- i am not the perfect person that vin sees of me, but incredibly flawed. the thing i hate about myself most is my jealousy. it doesnt seem possible for me to stop being jealous at every single encounter that vin meets without me being there. its honestly pretty horrible to be so jealous the only cure i see is to just Endure it. of course im really sad and wish vin was with me right now :^( i miss him so much.. but it IS a good chance to test myself. a full week!! what a trial. my emotions have been all over the place- a shamble, to say the least. if i could grade myself, id have definitely failed LMAO i am clingy to my bf, and some might say thats really unhealthy!! of course, now i see. definitely over estimated jealousy~ on the other hand, i am glad to be clingy. what a wonderful feeling, to love your partner with every second.. its a reminder of how blessed i am to have such a wonderful boyfriend. if ur reading this vin, i just wanna let you know how proud i am to have you. ur the most selfless person i know and you mean so much to me!! that includes the whole world :/// you are always there as my beacon of light. i should aspire to be like you and keep going, even if I am extremely tired. I realise this now, but ultimately, you have the greatest passion to do things for the people you love. that includes me and nathan. you are willing to walk to my house, you are willing to do Anything just to see me. i had never seen the enormity of that until now. despite being miserably tired, you still went to todays party because you loved nathan! that is an incredibly faithful gesture i have learned from you to never keep my head down. keep at it!!! its half an hour before midnight. feelin grumpy again. why does everything end in stripping and my bf is paranoid ill leave him? grrr id never do that :^( i love him so much i cant Leave him.. id never strip in front of other people except my bf either? that kind of stuff is just... i wouldnt ask someones gf to strip, even if it was in a game. then again i AM pretty childish. maybe this is some kind of grown up shit? no strings attached? mums gone and annoyed me again. im D O N E what a rollercoaster of emotions. i love my bf hes made me so happy aww im Smiling right now please just take me away from home shdkdjskdfn i love you goodnight zzzZZZzz im gonna go fuck myself up and die

[sixthten]

Are you bored rn? What are you wearing? How are you wearing your hair? What are your plans for the day (if you feel okay with sharing)? When was the last time you read a book or watched a movie?

No, not really, my cousin and my aunt are here and they are hella fun.I am wearing my blue jeans, white top with the beach and sunset on it.My hair is out in an afro, like always, haha, I’m about to go wash it and everything now. My plans today were in shambles, haha, my first plan was to drop my baby brother off at nursery for his sports day, which I couldn’t stay at like I had planned, but I had to come back home because there were men in the house that were redecorating the bathroom and kitchen, so yeah and then my aunt came over and we basically connected my laptop to my t.v (so much easier than getting youtube on the t.v (hard to handle when we were changing the song every 20 seconds)) and then I picked up my baby brother, had subways for lunch, after that I picked up my stepsister, came home and then I went to my friend’s house to borrow his charger for a bit because mine isn’t working and now I am just at home with my 2 stepsister’s, cousin, aunt and baby brother listening to Jamaican music and being childish. haha.The last time I read was today, I read two chapters of a new book on wattpad then my aunt kept touching the screen and we play fight and then I forgot about it and the last time I watched a movie was today too, it was a Jamaican (Christian and Rastafarian) movie. Really good. 

But what about you? You probably won’t see this but I would love to read you answer your own questions.