#i am in no way dunking on star

[edwardslostalchemy]

I'm thinking about Star and Stripe and Carmen, and I'm just like I REALLY embraced My Mexican Roots there with Carmen. Star is tall, blonde, and VERY muscular. Which, you know, okay cool. Gringa. Carmen is 5 feet of whoop ass, brown, and muscular, with her curly hair and big brown eyes. She doesn't have an OP quirk like New Order, but her Portals are very handy and she's clever with them. She's sneaky and can lie through her teeth for her job, which doesn't sound honest, but it's necessary for her to do so to protect her identity and not give information away. She doesn't believe in monologuing. Comes with the job. She also doesn't command fighter jets; she works with an agency that helps with search and rescue. But that opens doors to more contacts and resources. She also doesn't rely on her quirk 100% of the time and uses her physical strength to fight. I just love her so much. She's grown in my head since a year ago into this multi-layered character. She's so cool to me.

She's also the #2 hero of México. She doesn't need to be #1 to be chingona. 💪

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

can you see the stars in your dreams (and do they have a lot to say about me) - Part 8

Or: a secret Admirer AU

PART 1 || PART 2 || PART 3 || PART 4 || PART 5 || PART 6 || PART 7

“I can’t believe you let me fall asleep!” Chrissy complains, crowding into Steve’s space to desperately try to fix her hair in the mirror.

Steve snorts, unbelievably fond at the way her bangs are going every direction but down. “What am I, your mother?” he asks, fixing his own hair by standing on his tippy toes and looking over her head.

“No, but she will be killing me for this!” Chrissy cries, finally giving up on finger-combing her bangs to dunk the strands into the sink and get them wet. “Thanks for reminding me!”

“You’re bitchy in the morning,” he mutters, grimacing when she pulls her head out of the sink abruptly enough that water droplets fling from her head and onto his shirt. “Now, hurry up, we’re already late.”

She flips him off, ignoring him entirely to continue fixing her hair.

They’re both late; Chrissy doesn’t let him forget it for the rest of the day, as if it’s his fault.

“I remember when I thought you were nice,” Steve mutters, laughing helplessly when she elbows him in the side.

“You love it,” she says, smiling as they sit across from each other in their usual spot in the library, feet settling together beneath the table.

The thing is, he does. He’s always liked Chrissy, even back when she was all sunshine and rainbows, but even more so now that there’s some grit to her.

“Shut up.”

Chrissy beams, all sunshine again as she plunks her stack of books onto the table and shuffles her letter-drafting notebook to the top. Only once she’s opened to a blank page does she bite her lip, looking up at Steve through her lashes.

“Are you sure you want to keep doing this?” she asks, voice hesitant.

“What do you mean?”

She breaks eye contact, fiddling with her pen anxiously. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

Steve doesn’t tell her that he already is, that a part of him, the small, squirming part he keeps hidden in his heart, wishes he’d never done this. That watching Eddie kiss Chrissy’s hand and knowing without being told that she’s the kind of girl Eddie might want had broken something inside him. That Steve knows he could never be Eddie’s choice, and knowing that burns.

But, since the flirting started, Steve hasn’t written a word, and that’s worse, somehow. He only has the one tether to Eddie, and he wants to keep it, even if it’s through Chrissy’s handwriting, and Chrissy’s words, and Chrissy’s face.

He just wants.

Instead of saying all that, he reaches out, putting his hand gently on Chrissy’s hand and replies, “I’m sure,” even as the fluttering of his heart makes a liar of him.

Chrissy’s still biting her lip, not looking reassured at all. Steve’s gut churns with worry. ”Are you, though? You didn’t sign up for this, and if you don’t want to do it anymore, that’s okay.”

She smiles, her bottom lip blanched white from her teeth, as she replies, “We’re in this together, right?”

Even with the smile, she still looks worried, but Chissy puts her pen to paper and dutifully writes out the words Steve speaks, editing and revising each thought until it’s something someone might want to hear.

They keep their voices quiet because there are more people sitting in the library than usual today: a big group working on a project, a couple of freshman scowling down at what looks like a Geometry textbook, and closest of all, a girl he recognizes as a band nerd, flipping through a magazine too fast to really be reading it.

It doesn’t take them long—they’ve done this enough times that it’s become almost an art form. Chrissy pushes the completed letter across the table for his final review before it’s signed and sealed.

“It’s good,” Steve says, pushing the letter back across to her to be dropped off in Eddie’s locker.

His heart aches; Steve wants to slap himself.

Instead, he parts ways with Chrissy at their cars, Jeff already waiting beside hers to be driven home, and goes back to his house, bereft of the noise Chrissy had brought only that morning.

*** 

Eddie had worried when there wasn’t another letter after he’d started talking to Chrissy. Did she not like him anymore? Was she done writing them entirely now that she can talk to him face to face?

He worries incessantly for days about it, even as Chrissy keeps saying hi to him in the halls, keeps smiling back when they catch eyes across the cafeteria, keeps being her usual, friendly self.

It’s just, the letters are different. They’re more raw, somehow, more real. And, no matter how this thing goes with Chrissy, if they stop coming, he’ll miss them.

So, it’s a relief when he opens his locker the Monday after Chrissy’s eventful Hellfire induction to find a letter. He can’t wait to read it, the anticipation has built up over too many days of not receiving any. So, he rushes to the same, familiar bathroom and opens it in the stall he’s starting to think of as his.

       Eddie —

       How did your show go? I bet you’ve got a couple groupies already, you’ve already got the look for it. Did you figure out the riff for the song you were working on?

       I tried playing the piano again, and I’m a little rusty, but it’s like riding a bike, you know? (Do you know how to ride a bike?) It’s nice, playing music, even if it’s all songs someone else has written, and they’re still not coming out right.

       I’m sorry it’s been so long since my last letter. I just didn’t know what to say. You’re so patient, and nice, and I got caught up in my head you know? But I missed you.

       I slept with your letter beneath my pillow last night, hoping for dreams of you.

       Yours, Always

       Your Secret Admirer

       P.S. I haven’t read it, but maybe I will. Just to keep with the theme, put this letter in The Lord of the Rings.

He devours the words, slumping onto the toilet seat the longer he reads. It’s perfect—just what he was missing. He reads it once, twice, thrice, the same way he had when he’d received the first two, disbelieving that such lovely words were meant for him.

Eddie skips his second period, first already long gone by the time he’d trundled into the school’s parking lot, and pens a response, then and there.

He goes to the library immediately, nervous that if he doesn’t drop it off right away, she’ll assume Eddie isn’t going to write back at all. 

He waffles over which book to put it in before finally tucking it into The Fellowship of the ring–it’s the first in the trilogy, and Chrissy’s probably too cool to even know it’s a trilogy. 

There’s no response in his locker before Hellfire on Thursday, but that’s okay because true to her word, Chrissy shows up again. She’s smiling as she bounces through the doorway, all springy curls and happy cheer.

“Hi!” Chrissy says, waving as she beams her blinding smile around the room,  all that cheerleader enthusiasm on display.

Doug looks struck dumb, staring at her with his mouth open. Gareth’s gaze is darting back and forth from the door to Eddie, eyes growing wider and wider with each pass. Only Jeff smiles and waves back.

“I hope we’re not intruding,” Chrissy says, elbowing Harrington in the side until he finally looks up and gives his own half-hearted wave.

Because Harrington is slumped in the doorway behind her, looking like he’s trying to hide the entire bulk of his body behind Chrissy’s petite frame.

“Uh, hey,” he says, ears strangely pink as his eyes dart around the room.

He never looks Eddie’s way at all.

“Hey, man,” Jeff replies, the only person aside from Chrissy that is currently functioning.

“Steve, can come, right?” Chrissy asks, like he’s not already in the doorway behind her.

Eddie’s gut sinks then swoops. Harrington’s a jock—what will he do locked in a room with a bunch of nerds? But, the chipped nail polish.

Eddie’s mind is full of screaming, thoughts flip flopping over each other as he tries to articulate all the things wrong with Harrington coming to Hellfire, but all that comes out of his mouth is a chipper, “sure!”

Chrissy’s smile grows teeth—is she going to bite him?

Eddie resists the urge to take a step back.

Jeff pulls out the vacant seat beside him, still looking cool as a cucumber while the rest of them scramble. “Come sit down.”

And that’s how he finds himself with a jock in Hellfire. Should they call an exterminator?

It’s Chrissy who takes the seat beside Jeff which leaves the only other empty chair next to Eddie’s throne. Eddie glares at Gareth, gesturing wildly for his friend to move up a seat, but Gareth’s too busy staring at Harrington like he’s a cobra about to strike.

Harrington is looking at the only empty seat with the exact same expression.

“Steve,” Chrissy hisses, and Harrington jumps. “Go sit down.

The pink on his ears travels down to his cheeks—it’s unfair, really, how pretty and even his blush is. When Eddie blushes, he blotches bright red from forehead to chest.

Steve’s embarrassment suits him.

Eddie waits until he’s seated before clapping loud enough that everyone startles as they turn to him. “Now!” he starts in the grand voice he uses when he’s performing his Dungeon Master duties. “Are you two playing?”

“No,” Harrington rushes out, the pink of his blush deepening to a red as he finally meets Eddie’s eyes. “I mean, Chrissy said she just watched last time?”

“We didn’t want to slow you down,” Chrissy cuts in.

Eddie nods, looking between the couple as awkwardness stews in the stilted silence.

“Alright,” he replies. “Gird your loins, lords and lady.”

Knowing a cue when they hear one, the Hellfire boys scramble to pull out character sheets and dice.

And they’re off!

It takes a minute to fall into the familiar minutiae of telling a story with not one but two interlopers, but Eddie manages it. This is where he thrives: a captive audience and all the power to fuck with them in the palm of his hand.

He only stumbles once, words jumbling together when he looks up and catches Harrington staring at him, eyes wide, cheeks still flushed from his earlier embarrassment as he bites his lip, ass literally on the edge of his seat as Eddie cobbles together the climactic finish to their latest encounter.

Harrington looks away quickly, but Eddie knows what he saw: Harrington is into this nerd shit. He’d tease him if he wasn’t worried that it would end in a swirlie.

Still, Eddie can feel his head puffing up like an overfilled balloon. He’s on the top of his game, painting grand adventures with grander words, all gestures and enthusiasm. He feels electric, the way he always does when there’s a new sheep in his flock to impress. His skin’s almost buzzing with it.

After all, even if his audience member is a jock, Eddie’s always been great at putting on a show. 

Neither of the interlopers say anything until they’re busy packing up. Eddie lounges back in his throne, watching Chrissy help Jeff with his dice. She’s smiling up at him, clearly just as interested in their nerd shit as Harrington.

Eddie turns his eyes back to Harrington to see how he’s taking his girl talking to a guy that isn’t him only to find Harrington staring at him again.  When Eddie meets his eyes, he ducks his head, cheeks tinting that familiar pink.

Is Steve Harrington fucking awkward?

“You’re good at that,” Harrington says quietly.

Eddie hums, confused. He’s shuffling his papers back together, not looking down at what he’s doing. What’s happening in front of him is far more interesting.

“At what, big boy?”

“Uh,” Harrington starts, darting his eyes back up to Eddie’s for a second before looking back down at his fiddling hands. “Telling a story.”

Eddie smiles, something warm and amorphous filling his stomach. “Thanks,” he says, lightly kicking Harrington’s ankle.

Harrington twitches, lets out a quick, “mmhmm,” and then turns away from Eddie to go find his girlfriend, dismissing Eddie without another word.

“Ready to go, babe?” Steve asks, settling his arm around her waist and damn-near frog marching her out of the room.

“Bye, Jeff! Bye, Eddie!” Chrissy calls, still cheerful even as her boyfriend controls her every move. Maybe she’s used to it—first Carver and now Harrington. “See you next week?”

Neither of them wait for a reply.

The silence is stifling in their wake. Only Jeff seems unbothered as he stuffs all of his supplies into his backpack. Doug hasn’t even touched his dice.

“What the hell was that?” Gareth asks, whipping around to Eddie.

“How the hell should I know?”

Jeff snorts. “You invited them,” he says.

“I invited Chrissy,” Eddie whines. “She invited Harrington.”

That catches Jeff’s attention. He glares at Eddie like he’s the one that had invaded their sacred space. “You’re not this stupid,” he says, swinging his backpack onto his back and striding toward the door. “I’ve got a ride home, don’t wait for me.”

“What does that mean?” Eddie demands.

The only answer is the door swinging shut.

*** 

Once he’s walked Chrissy to her car and watched her pull out of the parking lot safe from Carver’s creepy hands, Steve collapses into his own car. He presses his face into the steering wheel and groans, long and loud, assured in his safe isolation. 

When the passenger door opens, he jumps, neck cracking with the speed at which he turns his head, ready to fight off the trespasser.

“Oh, it’s you,” Steve says, dropping his head back to the steering wheel.

“He knows,” Jeff says, voice serious enough that Steve raises his head back up immediately, heartbeat ratcheting up.

It takes a second for the words to connect, and when they do, his heartbeat quickens further, sweat pooling on the back of his neck, hands clenched hard enough on the steering wheel to hurt as fight or flight hits him.

“What?” he asks, the word cracking around his suddenly parched throat.

“Shit,” Jeff mutters, reaching out to pat Steve’s shoulder. “Not about you!”

Steve’s shoulders slump, breath shuddering out of him as Jeff continues to pat his shoulder, too awkward to be all that comforting. “Then, what—”

“He knows Chrissy is putting the notes in his locker.”

Steve sighs, slumping into his seat, uncaring of the way it crushes Jeff’s hand against the backrest. “Yeah, we figured,” he says, suddenly exhausted. “Do you know how?”

Jeff’s biting his lip when Steve looks his way. “He didn’t tell me,” he mutters. “But I know my best friend.”

It’s Steve’s turn to reach across the car and clasp Jeff’s shoulder. “I’m sure he has a reason for not telling you,” Steve replies, trying to smile past all that exhaustion.

Jeff snorts. “A stupid one, maybe.”

Steve hums, squeezing once more before dropping his hold on Jeff, suddenly realizing how stupid they must look, leaning toward each other, hands on each other’s shoulders like they’re having some sort of bro moment.

Steve turns back to the front of his car, cranks the engine, and smiles across at Jeff as the other boy takes the hint and drops his own hold. “Want a ride home?”

Instead of answering, Jeff puts on his seatbelt.

Jeff’s house is surprisingly close to Steve’s own. It’s a bit smaller than his, but there’s already a car in the driveway, and the shadows of silhouettes moving behind the pulled curtains, warm yellow light filtering through the fabric and onto the street.

Steve wishes he could go in with a fierce sort of longing that surprises him.

Jeff’s already got his seatbelt off and the passenger door open when he sighs, turning back around and settling back in his seat.

“You should come next week,” he says, all earnest in that way that seems to come so naturally to him and must have gotten him eaten alive in middle school.

“You can’t be serious,” Steve replies. There’s a tension headache growing, exasperated by the incredulous scrunching of his eyebrows. “That was a disaster.”

“Aw, it wasn’t that bad,” Jeff says, but he’s grinning like he’s remembering something funny. Steve’s got a few guesses what.

“Yeah, right.”

“I’m serious, man.” Jeff clasps his shoulder again—maybe that’s just something he does?

Steve scoffs, the roll of his eyes making his head pound. He opens his mouth to retort, something about Eddie’s reaction to Steve sitting beside him, but Jeff beats him to the punch.

“I know Eddie. And that in there?” He points back the way they’d come, like if Steve just strains his eyes, he’ll be able to catch sight of Eddie’s stupid fancy chair, and the stupid musty drama room, and the stupid look on Eddie’s face. “—is him interested.”

Steve closes his mouth, swallowing all the spit in his mouth, hoping it’s not audible to Jeff no matter how quiet the car is. “In me?” he asks, voice cracking embarrassingly.

Jeff doesn’t break eye contact, but his mouth twists uncomfortably. “Like you’re interested in him?” Jeff asks, continuing before Steve can reply. “I don’t know, man.”

Steve droops, the hope blooming in his chest curdling and sinking down into his stomach like old milk. He wants, desperately, to go home, turn out all the lights, and curl up alone in his bed to sleep away the rest of the day. But, Jeff’s still in his car, so he clenches the wheel between his fingers and says, “okay.”

“But, he doesn’t get you,” Jeff continues, voice gentling further. “And that intrigues him.”

Jeff’s still smiling like that should be some sort of boon to Steve’s ego, but it’s not. It lands like a brick. No one ever gets him, and whether he intrigues them or not, it always ends the same: him, alone in his big, empty house, waiting for a phone call that will never come, a doorbell that will never ring, a window that will never be snuck through.

He’d been through it before, with Donna in sixth grade, Nancy in tenth, hell, even Carol and Tommy for more years than he can count.

Intrigue has never gotten him anywhere. But, Jeff’s smiling, small and real, so Steve replies, “thanks, man,” smiling back until the other boy gets out of the car and he can safely drive away.

He’s got a dark house and a chilled bed waiting for him.

For the first time since this whole thing started, Steve writes the first draft of one of his secret admirer letters alone.

PART 9

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Violent Night, 2022

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Words: 2.7k

Notes: I’m doing great rn����😌😌 so fine so peachy so wonderful

You’re not surprised when Steve opens the door and he’s looking confused and disheveled like he’d just woken up from a nap. 

“Hey baby, I thought you were coming for the party tomorrow” He mumbles as he steps aside and lets you in. The house is silent as he takes your coat and hangs it up in the hall closet, you slip off your boots and go right into the bunny slipper he holds out for you. He smirks as he takes in your outfit, you’re wearing one of his old t-shirts and a pair of pajama pants, which as he looks closer he realizes is also his.

“It’s Christmas Eve,” You tell him like it perfectly explains everything and he follows after you as you walk through the house with your overnight bag.

“Okay… yeah?” 

The house is beautifully decorated, of course, his mom did it up before they went to the Bahamas, she’s even got three stockings hanging like they’d be there. 

But they’re not, they never are. 

“You have like an insane amount of things to do tomorrow and I just figured-“You shake the bag and he takes it from you now.

“Maybe I’d sleep over and we could get an early start together!” 

He smiles at you, cupping your face and pulling you closer to kiss your forehead.

“You don’t have to do that sweet girl, you should be with your family on Christmas Eve, opening presents with them tomorrow morning before coming here” 

“I am with my family Steve” You smile as you tilt your head up for kisses “Besides my mom wants me to bring you home, she said she wants her favorite son with her on Christmas. If you don’t wanna come I’m all set to sleepover” 

He kisses you softly, running his hand down your shoulder and interlocking your fingers. 

“Don’t you literally have a brother?” 

“Yup! So, why don’t you get packing? And we can leave in a couple hours after setting some stuff up for tomorrow?” 

Steve can feel the lump in his throat as he chuckles and nuzzles his nose against yours. He knew the moment he’d met you, you were the one. He can only hope you agree and don’t find the Christmas present he’s hiding in his closet. 

It’s a little cheesy the way he feels with his stuff packed in the bag with yours like you’re the ones going on vacation together. He’d thrown some stuff for overnight in it and called it a day and came down to help you start setting up. 

He’s not really sure when it happened but he’s not surprised it has. You’d lost your pants along the way, pouting that they were too long for you. 

“I mean, they’re not too long for me,” He says as he hands you the star for the top of the tree. The party was mainly going to be in the basement so he’d set up another little tree downstairs. It doesn’t look nearly as neat and perfect as his mother’s and somehow that makes it even better. There’s room for everyone to put an ornament on when they come in, Steve holds your waist as you put the one up he’d gotten you last year, it’s a mini Polaroid frame of your first Ferris wheel ride. Eddie had gone to incredibly dangerous lengths to get that photo and you still remember the way Hopper lost his shit on all three of you as you tried not to giggle.

“Can’t wait to go to the fair with you again” He kisses the tip of your ear, and you smile. 

“Mhm, and I can watch you win a bunch of prizes for me” You turn in his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck and he pecks your lips. 

“You remember, like two? Years ago… when you decided to do the dunk tank?” 

You groan into his chest as he snickers and pulls you into him closer “Oh my god and my top fell off!!” 

“Literally there has never been more donations in the freaking history of the dunk tank” 

You smack your head into his chest and he laughs, his head tilting back. 

“I’m like ninety percent sure half of that came from Ed-“ 

You squeak as the power goes out and he holds you close to him. 

“Hey, don’t worry I got you” He takes tiny steps with you over to the desk in the corner of the room and roots around in its drawers for a moment. You stay stuck to him and he doesn’t let go, he knows how much you hate the dark. 

He turns on the flashlight and hands it to you before grabbing a second one. 

“You cool if I go check the fuse box?” 

“Where is it?” 

He goes through the desk again and grabs a couple walkie-talkies, he turns it on and to the right channel before handing it to you. 

“In the other room, but I’ll be with you the entire time, alright pretty girl? Can you be a big girl for me?” He cups your face and you lean into him, gulping a little but nodding 

“Yeah… yeah I can be” 

“Alright… you know how to use this, yes?” He taps the device and you roll your eyes playfully 

“Oh trust me, yes.” 

“I’m sorry what? Over” Steve holds the walkie to his mouth and you giggle, clicking the button 

“I know what I’m freaking doing. Over” 

You keep the flashlight on him as long as you can until he disappears into the next room, you’re starting to get nervous when the walkie-talkie scratches. 

“Y/N? You there? Over” 

“Hi Stevie, over” You sigh into it and you can hear the smile in his voice 

“Awww, is my big girl scared of the dark? Over” 

“You shut your fat trap. Over” 

“I think it’s cute, all cuddled up with your teddy bear, little flashlight in your hand…bet you’d look even cuter with me pumping my-“

You hear a scream and a door slam and suddenly the radio cuts off, you jolt up from the couch clutching your teddy bear and holding onto the flashlight tighter. 

“Steve?? Steve are you there???” 

It’s silent for a few seconds, your heart hammering in your chest. 

“You didn’t say over. Over” 

“Steve Harrington!” You screech into the radio and scream when you’re suddenly tackled over, you go to smash your flashlight across his face and he catches it 

“No no baby it’s me it’s me!!! It’s Steve!” He’s wheeze laughing as he holds you down, and you try and kick at him. Tears are streaming down your face and he coos, letting go of your arms. 

“Ohhh nooo no baby don’t cry I’m so sorry” He laughs as he cups your face, kissing your cheeks. You shove him off you and he grabs your waist. 

“Hear me out, hear me out”

“No! I’m breaking up with you!” You wipe at your eyes, your hands shaking and he hugs you as tight as he can 

“I swear I screamed for a reason! I promise! The grabbing you part was just me being an asshat”

“What the hell were you screaming for!” You punch him in the gut and he wheezes, falling over and letting go of you 

“There was a bat, it literally flew right at my face” 

“A bat?!” 

“Don’t worry! I locked him in the laundry room”

“What about the power??” 

“…Lemme make a call” 

Steve comes back in the room from calling the power company and flops onto the couch, he sighs loudly as he runs his hands over his face and you snuggle into his side, putting your head on his chest.

“So?” 

“Uh… well, the power will be back on in a few hours. But this house is going to be freezing by then, we can go home to your place if you want” 

A little thrill shoots up your spine when he says, “Home” You look around the room and sigh. 

“Well we can’t exactly hang more decorations in the dark” 

“I mean I could always start a fire if you wanted” He shrugs and nods over to the fireplace. It’s clean with fresh logs in it and you sit up excitedly 

“Can I roast marshmallows?” 

“I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be chestnuts, but sure” He snickers as he crawls over to the large fireplace and stacks the logs properly, he grabs some wrapping paper and lights it before setting it on the kindling. It goes up fast and you’re clearly impressed as you come to stand next to him.

“You know, that’s pretty sexy” You cross your arms over your chest as you watch him slowly stack the logs, the fire burning brighter with each piece. 

“Why thank you, would it be sexier if I told you I chopped the wood myself?” He looks up at you after placing the gate and you squirm a little, squeezing your thighs together

“Maybe…” 

He smirks as you bend down and kiss him. You pull away a little, looking into his eyes. His lashes are so long and pretty; you like the way they dust his cheeks when his eyes are closed. 

“You wanna do somethin’ fun?” He asks suddenly, breaking your little haze and you perk up

“Yeah okay” you shrug and he claps his hands together before standing up 

“Put those cushions on the floor, I’ll be right back okay?” 

“Okay” He pecks your lips before leaving and you blush as you get to work, taking all the cushions from the floor and putting them in a little pile on the floor. He returns with a ridiculous armful of blankets and tosses them on the floor. 

“If there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s build a fort” 

You work together, and he teaches you how to build a fort, putting the pillows at the perfect angle so they’ll stay up. You giggle watching his intense concentration as he puts the blanket over the top. You set up the inside with more pillows and blankets and make it nice and comfy. Eventually, he crawls in with you, settling on his side. He holds out his arm and nods. 

“So? Opinions?” 

You giggle and lay on your back, looking up at the star-covered sheet on top. Man, he really did know what he was doing.

“It’s great!” You make grabby hands at him and he puts his arm over you, nuzzling his face into your neck 

“Good, I’m glad you like it. Gonna build you a real house someday” 

Your heart melts immediately at his words, your cheeks flushing hot as you hold him to your chest. He kisses your neck gently, slowly sucking a dark spot onto it. His hands come up your sides and you run your fingers through his messy hair, tugging lightly as he pulls your leg up. You squeak as he rolls you over on top of him and smiles as you sit up, your hands on his chest. 

“You really wanna be with me that long?” You ask quietly and he sits up with you, cupping your face 

“Baby I wanna be with you forever” 

“Oh Stevie,” You say softly as you press your lips to his, he wraps his arms around you, going right back to where he was as he eases your shirt up slowly, taking his time to feel your soft body in his hands as you take his shirt off. His chest hair feels good under your fingertips and you purr quietly as he pulls your hips down on him.

“You wanna do somethin’ else fun?” He mumbles against your lips, smirking as he pulls away a little and you smile with him. 

“You wanna know what I’ve never done before?” You scoot back off the pillows and onto the plush rug in front of the warm fire. You slowly remove your bra, toss it back into the fort, and sit back on your palms, your body on display for him as you make a little come here motion with your finger. 

“I have a feeling I can guess” He crawls out toward you, lying his body between your spread legs and kissing your thighs. 

“So fuckin’ pretty, gonna make me cum in my pants” his voice breaks and your eyes roll back at the soft whining noise he lets out as he grinds his cock into the floor. He nuzzles his nose against your panties, inhaling the sweet scent before dragging his tongue over the wet patch on the front. He swirls his tongue around it, making out with your panties before hooking his fingers in the waistband and pulling them down. You lift your hips and he takes them off, tossing them aside, and leans in again, his eyes rolling back as stares at your glistening puffy lips.

He gets on his knees, shoving his pants down and wriggling them off and you giggle as he awkwardly throws them aside. He strokes his cock a few times, tapping it on your clit and running it through your folds. 

“You ready for me sweet girl? Ready for me to stuff this pretty little pussy?” He comes forward, bending down to suck your nipple into his mouth, rolling his tongue around the perky bud as it hardens. He pushes you down slowly, releasing your nipple with a wet pop and you moan softly, reaching for him. 

You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling his chest against yours and purring at the soft curls coming into contact with your skin, he buries his face in your neck, biting that soft spot between your neck and shoulders before pushing into you slowly. 

The fire crackles around you, filling your chest with a deep warmth as he slides into you, thrusting shallowly a few times. You mewl softly and he swallows your moans, kissing you deeply as he pumps his cock in and out. He balances himself on his elbows, rolling his hips and grinding against your clit with each deep stroke, you wrap your legs around his waist, pushing him in further with each thrust. 

"You like that, don't you?" He growls, his eyes dark with lust. "You like feeling my big cock stretch this pretty little pussy?"

His body has a light sheen of sweat on it as he picks up the pace, sitting up on his knees and grabbing your leg, pushing it upward so you’re in an L shape. You let out little high-pitched squeaks as he thrusts harder, his body snapping against yours. 

You reach forward with a shaky hand, rubbing your clit as he drapes your leg over his shoulder, the fire warms your back, as he ruts into you, growling lowly.

“F-fuck Stevie, Jesus Christ” You whimper, your eyes falling closed and he knows you’re just as close as he is. 

“Cum on my cock baby, fuck lemme see you fall apart” 

He reaches down, replacing your fingers with his and rubbing your clit in fast messy circles, your body shudders and you reach out for his arm, scratching at it as you cum on his cock. You gasp loudly, your head falling back into the fluffy carpet underneath you, your face twisting in pleasure. 

“Fuck you’re so pretty when you cum, so pretty cumming all over my cock like a little slut” 

He thrusts into you one last time, lifting your hips up with his cock as he cums inside you, burying his cock deeply as he finishes inside you. He presses into your tight heat, slowly putting your leg down before falling on top of you. 

You let out a soft “oof” and he nuzzles into you, peppering little kisses over your jaw and neck.

“That was good,” he says breathlessly and you nod, running your fingers through his sweaty hair and massaging his scalp. 

“Very very good” You agree, turning to face him. He kisses your nose and you giggle, nuzzling yours against his 

“I love you” He moves a strand of hair from your forehead, kissing you softly. 

“I love you too” you whisper back, looking into his eyes. He stares at you, trailing his finger over your cheekbone and he’s never been more sure of what he’s going to do tomorrow, under your favorite tree, while it snows. He’s already got the lights up and the candle-paved walkway ready. 

[pepsiboyy]

Could you do one where the boys are on a tour (in Australia maybe😏) and the reader gets like a backstage pass for her and he bff and reader is talking to Chris in the meet greet(earlier cause of the pass) and Chris seems to take interest in her so he slips his number in her pocket and she eventually finds and called the number confused and he picks it up and then after awhile of them talking back and forth Chris asks her out and they start dating blah blah blah (sorry for the in Australia maybe lol I just want them to do a tour here so I can meet em)

SAVE MY NUMBER.

pairing: chris sturniolo x fem!reader summary: the triplets are finally having an abroad tour and the reader purchased vip tickets with their best friend to meet them. what happens when she finds a stray set of numbers on her postcard when she gets back to the hotel? warnings: cursing, use of y/n!! a/n: thank u for the request love <3 i hope this is awesome sauce !! i tried so hard to make this enjoyable LOLL but i think it may have come out ok!! <3 lowercase intentional !!

my fingers anxiously picked at my shoes with one hand as my other hand scrolled through instagram.

"come on, y/n, aren't you excited!?" my best friend, harper, exclaimed as she gripped my shoulder and shook me rapidly.

with a soft nod and a small chuckle, i nodded as i locked my phone and let it fall into my lap. "of course i am. i'm just tired of sitting here."

we had been sitting in the sun on the side of the venue in line for the last hour and a half. it was that point in the day where the sun was beating directly onto us.

i had managed to get my best friend and i some tickets to the triplets' tour with the meet and greet pass. counting down the days was grueling, but we finally made it and the hardest part was now. waiting outside to be let into the building.

"it'll be worth it. who even cares?"

i nodded softly as i looked her up and down. she was decked out in purple, some purple stars drawn on her cheeks under her eyes and some purple cargo pants with a let's trip tee and some white air forces.

i, personally, was drowning in orange. with an orange crop top and deep gray ripped jeans, my outfit was topped off with orange nike high top dunks and an orange belt. my friend had helped me out with the orange stars, mine on the opposite side from harper's.

"y/n, the line is moving!"

i turned my head to harper, being ripped from my thoughts before quickly standing to my feet and moving up in line.

the line moved slow, but it was something.

we still had a long way to go.

-

the line for the meet and greet felt like it was forever, but as we got closer, i felt like no time had passed at all. i could see them every once in a while through the lit cloth between the line and the boys, and my eyes shifted to harper. "dude, we're almost there." i chuckled, trying to keep myself as calm as possible as harper made noises i didn't even know were humanly possible.

"y/n, i don't know what to do or say, i think i might shit myself."

i slammed a hand over harper's mouth and let out a cackle, shaking my head. "shh, say that less loud." i scoffed and before i knew it, harper was next in line.

my hands toyed with the orange belt that helped my jeans hug my hips, my eyes glued in front of me as i watched the three boys.

the three boys i watched at first every once in a while when they appeared on my for you page, but i quickly became a huge supporter of the triplets, and they were somewhat a coping mechanism for me when things were hard.

and now i'm meeting them.

"next!"

i shot harper a smile and tapped her shoulder. "you got it!" i smiled brightly and waved as she approached matt.

i felt a lump develop in my throat. this was bad.

it wasn't a crying lump, but an anxious lump. unfortunately, when i get nervous, i can't help but ramble and yap.

"next!"

no way time flew by that fast. as i approached matt, i swallowed and smiled brightly as i felt like each step that i took was in slow motion.

matt's arms opened and i quickly stepped towards him and hugged him tightly. "hi, matt," i breathed, taking a deep breath as the reality of the situation began to settle.

"what's your name?" he asked softly, picking up his photo and signing it quickly.

"oh, it's y/n," i breathed, the smile on my face so wild you could have probably found me in a horror movie.

"nice to meet you, y/n. i hope we haven't kept you waiting too long?" he questioned, and i quickly shook my head.

"i'm just happy you guys are here," i breathed and smiled brightly at him before my expression fell. "oh my god a picture-" i scrambled to reach and get my phone from my back pocket, opening my camera and lifting it up.

two bright smiles later, matt pulled me into one more hug and smiled brightly, while i wished him luck on the rest of the tour.

i turned to see nick and smiled brightly, pulling him into a deep hug. i always had a theory that nick gave the best hugs of the three. so far, my theory was correct.

"hi, friend!" nick cheered, signing his card and smiling at me. "your star makeup is so cute, your friend had the same thing, no?"

i smiled brightly and nodded, biting my lip. "yeah, she did them for me actually! she's the best." i smiled and pulled out my phone.

"i'm so glad you guys could come." he stated as he wrapped an arm around me and held up a thumbs up in the camera.

i smiled brightly as i pulled away and gave him one last hug. "you guys are amazing. i just thought you should know, i'm proud of you guys. good luck tonight!" i told nick as i pulled from the hug. nick shot me a soft and quick thank you as i was rushed off to the final triplet.

christopher sturniolo.

i felt my entire being crumble the moment i took a few steps forward.

of course, i loved all three of the triplets with everything i had.

but chris.. i related to him in many ways and always found my eyes gravitating to him while watching their videos. he's a silly guy, and it doesn't help that i find him insanely attractive between the three.

"you in there?"

my eyes shot to chris as i let out a breath i didn't know i was holding.

i literally just spaced out in front of chris, who waved his hand in front of me to snap me out of my trance.

not to mention i'm decked out in his color.

"hi!" i squeaked, and he pulled me into a hug.

i bit my lip as i hugged him tightly, taking a deep breath.

the hug lasted for a little longer than needed, but i wasn't complaining.

not sure if it's because it's chris or not, but i think nick has some competition for best hug.

"i like your outfit," chris stated softly as he pulled away from the hug. i smiled brightly at him, and i couldn't tell if i was gaslighting myself or if he licked his lips while looking at my orange self.

"thanks, i don't really wear much orange," i stated and i felt my face heat up.

"it's definitely your color more than it is mine. consider wearing it more often?" he asked, writing on the card and pausing before deciding to hand it to me. "wanna take a selfie?"

i nodded quickly and shakily took out my phone and began to raise it, but chris carefully took it from my hands and raised it himself, wrapping his other arm around my shoulders softly.

he took about four photos and handed me the phone back.

after signing the card, taking a little longer than usual, he looked me up and down one more time.

we stood there for a few moments, simply looking at each other and i noticed my friend waving at me from behind chris, about ten feet away.

"you're gonna do great tonight," i quickly said to him, and he simply smiled at me and nodded, running his fingers through his hair to adjust his bangs.

holy fuck, this guy isn't real.

"i'll do great because you came. thanks for coming." he stated softly, and brought me into a tight hug.

i bit my lip hard as i hugged him back, taking in a deep breath.

-

the night went incredibly well. the show was enjoyable with the games they all played, and i told harper about the interaction i had with chris.

harper was in the shower. i had just gotten out, my pajama pants and small black tshirt hugging my body perfectly as i laid against my bed in the hotel.

i turned to the postcards, smiling brightly as i took them into my hands and admired them. i turned them in the light to look at the layered marker, holding them towards the lamp. as i got to chris's, i noticed some writing on the back through the light and my heart jumped out of my chest.

i threw myself up off the mattress and flipped the postcard over, feeling my heartrate pick up at the phone number written against the back.

"dude, the shampoo in there is awesome. you weren't kidding." harper stated as she dried her hair in a towel as she sat in front of me, also in her pajamas. "you okay?"

i looked at her and slowly held up the card, pointing at the number.

"holy fuck, is that..?" harper trailed off, and i bit my lip.

"oh my god, i need to call it." i stated as i searched for my phone under the comforter, quickly retrieving it and dialing the number.

i put my phone on speaker as i looked at harper, my leg bouncing anxiously.

"hello?"

my heart sank.

"h- hello?"

i mentally cursed at myself for stuttering.

"who is this?"

"uhh, it's y/n, i found this number on the back of my postcard-" i was quickly cut off.

"y/n!" he cheered. "it's chris."

"are you fucking for real?" i whispered, biting my lip.

"yes ma'am." he chuckled, and i shook my head. there's no way this is fucking happening right now.

"i know it's late and you guys probably have jet lag, so i'm sorry, but i just found it-"

"it's fine, really, i was running fortnite with matt." he stated quickly, cutting me off.

i snorted. it made sense.

"well, get a victory royale ok?"

"for you, i will. save my number, i'll text you." chris stated, and i looked at harper who was in utter shock.

"right, yeah i will." i stated quickly, and hung up afterwards.

silence overcame harper and i before i bit my lip and we both screamed at the top of our lungs at the same time.

there was no way this was real.

-

my eyes were beginning to shut as the video of the triplets from a few weeks ago seemed to be watching me.

i turned to harper, who had fallen asleep a little while ago and blinked a few times when my phone vibrated and chris's name appeared on my screen.

a bright smile took over my face as i began texting him, and my night was made even more. somehow.

[clemelntine]

Heart killers ep 4 uncohesive stray thought

With to many screenshots cuz I keep taking more

A better view of what is now confirmed to be a cross with a cross necklace on it. He hasn't shown to be religious in any way. It could just be storytelling purposes or he's into shit like that (sexually)

Why tf does he sleep on a mattress in what seems to be the middle of a living room

I don't want to be rude to Style or his dad but Style is on of the most obviously queer men I've seen in a while. But also nice to see an openly gay character with (realistically) supportive dad

What's with the matching emblem on their shirt? Like I get their friends but why this episode? Could have been foreshadowing for them ending up in the same situation in the end. But also Fadel destroying this shirt might indicate that Styles relationship with Fadel will get in the way of his friendship with Kant (or the other way around)

It's very difficult to make laying on your back not look akward. Dunk can't do it.

A little side plot for the boys, very fun

Omg its Paul!!

I really hope that Babe and Knot will have more stuff, I'm really curious what their acting is like and I think two innocent young characters wrapped up into the older fours world of lies could be a really interesting story, and motivated for the four to be/do better. Also maybe a lil father/brother figure time for the four. I'm a lil sappy, what about it

Yeah hes selfish but has okay morals we get it

Said the two decieving criminals to eachother. Hopping that ig is foreshadowing of some sorts for them saving each other near/in the end.

Okayy, our first official boyfriends

Interesting, in contrast with the scene of Fadel taking the pin of Style

Oh its his 10 things i hate about you poem. Although he only said i dont like 7 times (catherine said it 10, fadel did list 10 things, if you count the things he said after 'and' as separate). Also i guess "i dont like that i miss you" is his "i hate that i dont hate you"? Or maybe it is unfinished and well get a more fleshed out confession scene when they both like each other

I haven't felt this way since the bad buddy rooftop kiss.

Oh don't make me cry

Oh, Style with his hand in Fadels pants. An interesting development, might have to ad that on to my post about the other nc scenes weve seen from them.[god am i really gonna dedicafe my blog to joongdunk sex scenes]

Why does he have soap dispensers attached to his shower wall

Ah cmon , i was in my feelings dont drag me back to the reality of lies like this.

Look at how cute they are. Look at the potential. They better get this heartbreak over quickly so we can get to healing and being happy.

Khaola

Oh god, they were not even that young when their parents died.

No, I think it was lilly actually. This is going to negatively impact this shit so much.

Cmon Style, you were my only kinda earnest character left.

Both physically and morally (engaging woth Fadel, lying to him, is something he didn't want to do.Going further than he intended to)

Wait is this the person from Kants previous marraige? Thailand has legalized gay marriage for less then a year and were already doing divorces.

How tf does he know

Ok kinda cool tattoo. Blacking that out will actually low key look really ugly. Just a dark blob behind his ear

Wait he has a different gay (rainbow) necklace now. It's bigger

Bison is starring to doubt Kant more while Fadel is staring to trust Style more.

Favorite scene:

FadelStyle in the woods ofcourse

Big brother Kant was also very cute tho

Also if anyone is wondering I took 87 (successful) screenshots this episode

And idk if anybody actually follows my blog and updates about heartkiller. But I'm gonna have to take a break next week cuz I have exams :( . After that I will have more time to watch different bl tho.

[bri-the-nautilus]

Come To the Dark Side, We Have Hot Guys: A Star Wars Story

Spoilers below for S1 of Ahsoka and the first six episodes of The Acolyte.

I'm writing this with The Acolyte most of the way through airing its first season, with episode 6 having released earlier today. Say what you will about the show, but it's really brought out a lot of the uglier sides of the Star Wars fandom. Everyone and their mother has seen videos or Reddit threads dunking on the Critical Drinker or SWT and their mouth-breathing misogynist audiences at this point, so I don't feel particularly compelled to retread that ground. Instead, I want to talk about the... other side of the fandom, the hypocrisy therein, and how we're all being played for absolute fools by the creative team at Disney Lucasfilm.

Yes, this post is about Qimir.

Now I want to say that I have no problem with villain simping/shipping. Far from it. Most of my posts on this account are me simping for Shin Hati (we'll talk more about her later) or various Soulsborne bosses. Hell, my mutuals and I have a running joke about me having a weakness for evil blonde women. While I personally am too gay for my own good and couldn't care less about men as a concept, I absolutely see the appeal of characters like Qimir and Kylo Ren. I absolutely get why people thirst over them and love making fandom content for them. I think Qimir/Osha has the potential to be a really fun ship, actually. The point I'm making here is not "simping for these characters is wrong and bad," and I want to make that crystal clear before we continue.

That said, let's talk about Qimir, and how the landscape of the show and its surrounding discourse has changed since his reveal. Again, I'm ignoring the chud sphere here, partly because their little corner of the Internet has remained remarkably stagnant since then. The podcast bros still think it's woke, fucking Shadiversity is still whining about fight choreography (which as someone who actually has done HEMA/stage combat, Shad annoys me to no end, but that's an entirely separate can of worms), and it all seems to be business as usual over there. No, the most marked changes have been on the Acolyte-positive end of the fandom space. Here's what the top posts in "hashtag TheAcolyte" on Twitter look like tonight:

You get the idea.

Again, no hate to any of these people. This is tumblr ffs, we've all engaged in a little simping for a morally dubious hot person. I love seeing fans having fun engaging with something, and again I kinda dig the Osha/Qimir ship.

Anyways, if you were around for the Acolyte-positive discourse before the Qimir reveal, and especially the show's marketing and the reponse to that, you'll have noticed a marked difference.

Fans quickly began to see The Acolyte as " the gayest Star Wars ever." Showrunner Leslye Headland is an out lesbian, and her wife was cast as Master Vernestra Rwoh. Archetypical girlboss Carrie-Anne Moss was cast as Master Indara, immediately drawing comparisons to her role in the Matrix movies. Leads Osha and Mae Aniseya are played by the nonbinary Amandla Stenberg. The lesbian witches of Brendok were talked about in press releases before the show aired. Dafne Keen (Jecki Lon) stated in an interview that she portrayed the short-haired, serious Theelin as having a crush on Osha, something that fans were picking up on in their first interactions in the premiere before Keen even gave that interview. While Headland said in a post-premiere interview that she didn't set out specifically to make "a capital Q Queer show," it's an objective fact that no Star Wars movie/show has had as much potential in that area, and fans (especially the queer community) took notice. (For what it's worth, in the same interview Headland commented that she was proud of creating something that so many queer fans identified with.)

The show came out, and Master Indara was killed off in the first sequence, which I'm honestly fine with. It was a good scene and works on a lot of levels. Headland's aforementioned interview came and went. Episode three aired. The lesbian witches turned out to be even gayer than was previously thought possible, and people ate that shit up while the Critical Drinker's brain suffered a major cascade failure. Jecki became a runaway favorite in the premiere and episode four, as did lovable himbo Yord Fandar and the wise, paternalistic Master Sol. In Acolyte-positive circles, this was basically how it went. People thought Brendok was cool, the Yord Horde became the show's biggest social media sensation, Jecki and Sol cultivated devoted followings alongside Osha and Mae, there were a wealth of different ships involving various combinations of Jecki, Yord, and the twins... you get the idea.

Then episode 5 happened.

The writing was really on the wall when the Brendok coven was abruptly wiped out. Introducting such an interesting (and queer) Force-wielding culture only to exterminate them in the same episode was certainly a choice that somebody made. But episode 5 was a shock to the system for many fans, as the show's resident Sith revealed himself and killed Jecki and Yord in some of the most brutal recent onscreen deaths in Star Wars. To be clear, I think this was a great sequence. Two beloved main characters being suddenly and gruesomely killed off was a masterfully executed shock to the system, especially after viewers were lulled into a false sense of security by all the redshirt deaths in the previous scene.

This, understandably, completely changed the landscape of the Acolyte fandom. Virtually overnight, much of the simping and shipping involving Jecki and Yord dried up, and once the dust had settled as far as the "rip blorbo, gone too soon" posts went, what remained were the usual Sol/twins offerings and a wave of Qimir hype. Which is understandable. He's a badass emo Sith boy with a cool helmet who brutally murdered fan favorite characters in front of us and has palpable tension with the female lead. Who wouldn't love... wait a minute.

This feels familiar somehow.

But if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing's changed at all?

And just like that, "the gayest Star Wars" is all about the (straight) sexual tension between an edgy, murderous Sith boy and a light-side girl plagued by dark thoughts whose friends said boy just killed. This is all eerily similar to how the Sequel Trilogy focused on Rey and Kylo while abruptly dropping Finn and Poe's character arcs. Even the fandom discourse is the same. I mean Reylo was so ubiquitous back in the day that it became a derogatory catch-all for good girl/evil boy shipping. Multiple authors now have either gotten their initial start/fame writing Reylo fics, or straight up published legally distinct Reylo fiction after the fashion of Netflix's After. You had the occasional person piping up to say "hey they kind of just left Finn and Poe hanging after TFA, it would've been cool if they got together but at the very least don't relegate them to being side characters/comic relief in separate story threads," and that was it. The same thing is going on with The Acolyte now, only the sequel trilogy wasn't marketed on the strength of being a queer story by a queer creative team. The Acolyte is, which makes it all the more baffling that by the midway point of the first season, all the gays have been buried and the show seems to be heading straight for Reylo 2: High Republic Boogaloo. And the fans are eating it up.

As an interesting aside, I think it's an interesting exercise to contrast the Kylo/Qimir pattern with the broader fandom's treatment of Shin Hati (told you we'd circle back to that), and the ship between her and Sabine Wren. On paper, Shin is very similar to Kylo and Qimir. Villain? Check. Edgy-looking armor? Totes. Emotionally damaged/stunted in some way? Sure looks like it. Tension with the heroine? You betcha. If anything, the only major difference is that Shin isn't as evil as the others. Compare her actions in Ahsoka (clearing out part of a light cruiser with Baylan and making repeated attempts on Sabine's life) to Kylo (oversees multiple war crimes, kills his fan-favorite dad) or Qimir (orchestrates the murders of several Jedi before brutally executing two fan-favorite characters). She's definitely bad, but I struggle to see her as on par with Qimir, let alone fucking Kylo, in terms of evilness.

Which makes it all the more interesting to me that the Shin/Sabine ship has received so much more mainstream skepticism/criticism than the Osha/Qimir or Rey/Kylo ships. "They have no chemistry!" "She's an evil murderer!" "She's a blank slate!" "Sabine is taken!" I may be a touch biased, but from where I sit a large part of the fandom, even the ostensibly progressive side, seems to look down upon Shin/Sabine shippers while swooning for heterosexual variants with far more evil villains.

This isn't a monolith, and I can't stress that enough. I'm not trying to start shit here. Villain shipping is awesome. We support women's wrongs in this house. You do see the occasional person decrying Reylo or Osha/Qimir as toxic, which I think is fairly unnecessary. Like yeah, maybe it's a toxic dynamic, but these are fictional characters. For these specific characters, part of the crowd appeal is the toxic badboy side of things. I don't think we should really spend much energy attacking any fictional ship (between adults, mind you) as toxic, which is why it puzzles me that an as-yet-unconfirmed lesbian ship in a niche show receives such a large proportion of this sort of criticism compared to the canon relationship between two main characters of a blockbuster trilogy.

At the end of the day, this whole affair has been rather sobering for me on both Disney Lucasfilm and the Star Wars fandom. For all the support the Shin/Sabine ship has received from Ahsoka cast members Ivanna Sakhno (Shin), Natasha Liu Bordizzo (Sabine), Eman Esfandi (Ezra Bridger, the other character people like to ship with Sabine), and Rosario Dawson (Ahsoka), I'm rather sour on the prospects of it becoming canon. The sequel trilogy dropped the ball on what many saw as a promising chance for an MLM romance between Finn and Poe in favor of trotting out the "why do good girls like bad boys" dynamic, and The Acolyte, "the gay show" overseen by a lesbian, has seemingly shifted to center a similar dynamic after killing off most of its prospects for a queer relationship among the main cast. Simply put, I think that Disney as an international company based in the frighteningly divided United States is reluctant to commit to anything beyond lipservice in terms of LGBT representation in their movies/shows, which again doesn't leave me feeling optimistic about WolfWren's canon potential. And the fandom takes the bait. People love the damaged evil badboy/good girl dynamic, and when the queer fandom suggests the possibility of a queer ship taking center stage in a show with no other extant relationships, even the more progressive side of the fandom tends to either ignore it or actively push back on its basis in reality until Disney Lucasfilm inevitably puts the kibosh on it. The amount of times I've heard people dismiss WolfWren for the same reasons they now like Osha/Qimir and liked Reylo (before that ship was fleshed out/canonicalized, anyway) is ridiculous, but at the end of the day you kinda feel stupid for expecting anything else. Again, I think Qimir is a cool character and I'm as much of a sucker for villain romances as the next girlie, but seeing how easily the fandom lets dangling heterosexual carrots lead it away from Disney Lucasfilm's broken promises of queer rep is a sobering ordeal.

[see-arcane]

Alright, slightly more coherent now

Yes! YES! Mina's heart-eyes were coming through at full volume when describing her Jonathan riding up, terrifying the guarding crowd out of his way, leaping on the wagon, and Lifting the Whole Box o' Dracula over his head just to slam dunk it on the ground. It was exactly as, "Dear Diary, I knew that now wasn't the time to climb my husband like a vampire-chucking cryptid tree, and I hated that, but I was so brave about it" as I was hoping it'd be

Oh man, the final Dracu-cackle was delightful. The big mounting villainous laugh building to its horror story crescendo...only to have Jonathan K.(ukri) Harker slice right through the bastard's neck as he chokes and gurgles. Plus the Bowie heart staking as punctuation. Magnificent. Delicious. Stupendous. The Power of Love is here to collect your fucking head, buddy, 1000/10 stars

And then. Quincey. Oh God, Quincey. This is the first time in the entire series--in any podcast series--that I laid where I was and cried. Listening to this good man bleed and smile and die the way I had always known he would, but the wound of it hurting so much more than mourning a sheet of paper had. The acting. The sound design. The music, both there and in the parting song. It carved my heart out. And it was great.

One. More. Episode. I am not ready to hear it. I am not ready for this ride to be over. But I can't wait regardless. It's a day early, but thank you for all of this @re-dracula. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[valeriianz]

I know you already answered a few but I am DYING for more 💌 celebrity crush au!!!

-dimes

okay, last one for the celeb crush au! because next time i post about it will be the full thing! lol thanks, @five-and-dimes!

It’s good coffee, at least. Hob looks into his drink as he sets the mug down, thumbing over the lip of the ceramic cup. He lifts his lashes to watch Dream, who’s also studying his drink, dunking the tea bag over and over again in the liquid. Hob nibbles on his bottom lip, his fingers now tapping on the mug, his brain sifting through a thousand ice breakers, a thousand things to say, before sighing and leaning back as casually as he can. “I know you didn’t plan this” Hob starts, falling back on an old charm he hopes will break the tension. “But this is the strangest way to get a man’s attention.” Dream snorts into his drink and Hob laughs as it sprays foam over the table’s surface. Hob wipes the mess with a napkin while Dream hides his mouth behind his hand, flustered all over again. Hob smiles. This Dream is so unlike how the man presents himself in public. Poised, professional, god-like. Dream wielded his star power well, it commanded attention and intimidation, only faltering enough to garner his loyal fanbase, to give himself human qualities that listeners could connect with and fawn over. Like the rambling during red carpet interviews. Or talking about Robert Gadling… talking about him.  But Hob had never seen… this. The stumbling, the blushing, the insecurity. It made something warm and incredibly fond well up in his chest. “What about your attention?” Dream tilts his head to one side, eyes gone playful but still with a hint of nerves behind them, uncertainty.

make me write!

[yuseirra]

I really enjoy drawing them as gods! :) I'll keep drawing this version too while I can (and even after things clear up~)

I jotted about these guys earlier AGAIN and it's so funny, I'll put it in the read more

(was written in another language, translated in bulk by chatgpt~)

I set up my tablet to draw all weekend and started listening to Fatal again.

Seriously, this song… it’s just Kamiki, saying, “I can’t live without Ai~~ I want to see Ai so badly… Without her, I’m really going to die, I feel like I’ll die—what am I supposed to do?” That’s exactly what it sounds like.

It’s like Ai is Ame-no-Uzume, and Kamiki is her husband. He’s like a god who lost his wife and went completely insane. I can’t hear it any other way, seriously. If this isn’t the case, I’d be so disappointed! There’s just no other explanation for all the bizarre situations in the story. Every time I hear this song, I feel like I’m losing my mind because of this interpretation…

This isn’t Aqua. Right now, Aqua let go of his wish for Ai and is sinking deeper as he saves Ruby. No, it’s Kamiki who’s crying about not being able to live without Ai, wanting to see her that badly. What are we supposed to do with him? Why does he love Ai this much? (To be fair, the backstory is there. Watching his character unfold, I thought, "Yeah, it makes sense he’d fall for Ai.” Even before the song and Chapter 154 came out, I was certain of it.) He’s the only character who’d have such a “lack of Ai.” He lost Ai, and now he’s like, “My destiny is to get her back!” I’m sure that’s what’s driving him. He studied science in college, built a company, and went around doing all these things while telling himself, “It’s my fault, my fault,” and witnessing people dying. Seriously… what is this?

And his eyes—I feel they were originally golden, but it feels like something mixed in because of that black star, which changed the color. His eyes look so murky. I don’t think they were meant to be purple. Every other character has clear eyes, but whenever they show his in the anime, his color is cloudy, almost like something else is mixed in.

The Hoshino family’s eye colors connect to their names, but Kamiki’s name means “light,” so why the sudden purple? It could be, but his eyes look so cloudy, and no other character’s eyes have that quality. He’s not in his right mind… he really seems possessed. And why are the lyrics like this? Why do they have this meaning? If this isn’t revealed, I’m going to seek out the author myself. It’s almost funny. This song is just so strange.

It sounds like constant crying—a song of intense longing, he’s losing his mind. Once again, this isn’t Aqua’s emotional arc. Kamiki’s emotions are ten steps deeper than Aqua’s, maybe even more unhinged. He literally seems unable to live without Ai. But this makes sense if they’re a divine couple; they literally can’t function without each other. They need to be together, which even aligns with the things Kamiki says in the story. He was hers and she was his- What is he, really? He isn’t your average person. He’s genuinely strange. What he does is something that can't just be explained with charisma or “because he’s charming.” No, Ai and Kamiki must have originally been gods.

Honestly, Kamiki must be a god who was deeply devoted to his wife, driven to madness because people killed her. That’s why Aqua was assigned to dunk him into the sea to get him… This storyline would make so much more sense if this is it.

Ai must be crying in heaven if she sees what’s become of her husband. It’s so absurdly tragic. I feel like this direction would make more sense. I mean, what kind of story would it be if Kamiki were just “the bad guy”? We already know he was fundamentally a good person. How could an ordinary person even do all these things? I know the setting is modern, with cell phones, electronics, law enforcement, etc. But honestly, people buying into this guy’s ideals to this degree is baffling. He could only pull this off if he were a god.

Fatal… I’m sure I’ve shared my thoughts on this song countless times, but every time I listen to it, I feel like I’m one step closer to understanding its meaning. This song’s emotions are just so Kamiki. If this is Kamiki, though… well, he must really have loved Ai. He’s struggling so much, and you can really feel what it means to not be able to live without someone. He simply can't bear it. That’s how strong his love is.

At this point, can’t we just let him meet Ai again already? He fell apart because he couldn’t see her, even though he wanted to so badly. Was he really at fault for all of this? Is he actually responsible for Ai’s death? I don’t think so… If Ai had been there, he probably wouldn’t have ended up like this.

We need to find out the real reason Ai died, don’t we? This song has to mean something, right? There has to be a reason this song came out. I wouldn’t have started down this path if I didn’t feel I already knew the answer. If I were the author, I’d never make a character who wants to see Ai so desperately into her killer. Maybe Kamiki has some godly power that became unstable out of his anxiety, causing the chain of events that led to her death, but...

Now that we know Ai truly loved Kamiki, I can’t believe he’d even lay a finger on her. It just doesn’t fit his character or story. His behavior shows he isn’t capable of that. This is the same person who couldn’t even retaliate against people who treated him horribly, even those he cared less about than Ai. He was a kind person.

Looking at Kamiki’s consistent behavior, there’s always this gentleness, almost peacefulness. Even if he’s lost it now, that gentleness seems closer to his true nature. I feel like something forced its way into him and twisted him.

The person Ai loved was probably this part of Kamiki, the gentle exterior. If you look at it, it makes sense why she’d fall for him. He’s fundamentally that kind of person, but something happened to him.

I’m rarely wrong about things like this… There aren’t many chapters left now, so if I’m wrong, I’ll just take it as it comes.

Was Kamiki really the kind of person Aqua could treat that way? Honestly, I wasn’t satisfied watching the interactions between Tsukuyomi and Aqua. It didn’t feel good to watch them connect and talk sympathetically. Plus, if it turns out Ai loved someone who was truly insane, that’s another problem.

If Kamiki really did do horrible things, it would make more sense if they were god-level punishments from a god who went insane. If he were just a regular boy who lost it and became a serial killer… what even is that? That would be so disrespectful to people who have similar backgrounds. For a character like this, I feel like there should be a certain amount of care in how he’s handled. Otherwise, I'd really be upset. I’m sure the author understands that.

Anyway… it feels like the answer’s already in the song. Like the answer’s already been given. There aren’t many chapters left, so I guess we’ll find out soon.

[mulberrymyrtle]

COSMIC ─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

[various!pjo x child of urania!reader]

CHAPTER ONE : stargazing...petty fights... weird guy who smells of sewer water.

SUMMARY : in typical sibling fashion, your half-sister forces you to engage in bonding activities to get closer to your godparent. however it's 1am, and gods? they never cared anyways.

YOUR SISTER WAS A WEIRD PERSON, or rather your "half-sister" was the epitome of whimsical shook into a bottle rapidly to create a highly-superstitious woman.

You could say she was obsessed or in her own terminology - a "passionate" astrologer who's hands were blessed by Urania's knowledge of the cosmos. (As she uttered in her theatrical matter, in front of the Hermes table. You wished with clutched hands that Zeus should strike her down with his fearsome lightning.)

Yet, in your own terminology she was a nerd who loved the stars too much she'd disintegrate herself if it ever decides to come near her vicinity. (both literally and metaphorically)

She'd wake you up in the chill-breeze of dawn, hands slapping at your sweat-filled forehead (because being squeezed in the Hermes cabin is definitely anything but cold). Her fingers gesturing to the destroyed window, (a polite gift of the Stolls) with excitement coursing over her star-speckled eyes. With drowsiness choking you by the brain, fogging everything that hurls out of her mouth - the only thing it can make out is your name.

"The constellations!" She sputtered, words spilling from her chapped lips. "They're clearer!"

"Uh...clear, cool. Woah."

"Oh my Olympus," she sighs knocking at your head, "It means Urania is giving us a sign! We need to talk to her or something!"

"Why does it matter if she..." you paused, shifting your crumpled blanket closer to your body. "Or Urania makes the constellations clearer? You know the gods don't care at all. Making up for neglect isn't making stars clearer or whatever." Rolling your eyes, flopping yourself back on the floor.

With a whine of your name, she smacks you (like she always does) "That's our mom, you have to respect her."

"That's a god." You spit out,  "She's probably out there creating more half-siblings to cramp us in this cabin."

"I hope she makes better siblings than you." She huffed, her arms crossed.

"You'll just betray me like that? I was joking, you were supposed to say you're the best ever!"

She gives you a look of disgust, her head shaking rapidly. "In a hypothetical sense, you're doing the betraying here."

You gave an awkward cough, eyes shifting away from her face. With a stiff laugh, you murmured under your breath. "In Capture the Flag... maybe?"

She tilts her head, your words processing in her mind. "Huh- wait! You're not teaming up with me?"

"Well, I wanna win for once."

"You think Clarisse will make you win?" She raises her brows, her face scanning over you like it was a joke.

"Better than be dunked in the toilet that's for sure..."

"We had a plan!"

"I barely have anything to do there," you shake your head, putting the blanket over your head. "It's probably Annabeth saying that Athena always has a plan." Replicating Annabeth's confident tone to perfection as you utter the phrase. "I am practically dummy bait for Clarisse either way."

Your ears pick up on her groan, her back hitting the wall with a loud thump. Under the covers, you shift to turn away. Your mind was on desperate measures, forcing itself to shut off - away from your half- sister's insistent pleads. The thin sheets you slept yourself on was better than lying on prickled grass, the hurls of harpies screaming in the distance, paired with the stories your sister’s would wander about was anything but delightful.

"Just let me sleep," you tell through muffled sheets, moving around the tight space.

"You're so difficult." She murmurs in exasperation, almost tired. "I'm just trying to get us closer, that's what she..." Her tone falters, like the next words were impossible for her to voice out.

You hear the deep breaths she takes in, the sigh she releases - even a clink of the necklace Urania gifted her. The subtle movement of the blanket tells her that you're prodding the next things she'll say, eager to listen.

"Oh," you finally hear her voice after the moments of silence, you find yourself shifting closer to her.

"Oh, i'm sorry Peter," she utters in a soft manner, "Did we wake you?"

Who the hell is Peter?

In a sudden movement, you fling your blanket off. Head emerging from the soft comforts of your dingy pillow to face whoever decided to join the conversation. You swore, there was never a Peter unless it was a spirit that decided to wander in the dead of dawn. But, you also know that your half-sister couldn't see ghosts. You were sure that in the entirety of Camp, only one person could do that - the cabinmate beside you whose snores irritated your ears.

Your head turns to the person, like a crane cranked up in slow motion. Your vision clearing up, the blurred figure of the person fully coming into view.

Ohh, so that's Peter.

You turn to your sibling, then back to him as your memory tries to recollect on who he was. Eyes looking over his closed off form - he's a bit close, you think. His sea-breezed hair has been swept by the constant turns in his sleep (he's restless as well, why were you beside two annoying sleepers?)

He was reminiscent of men who spent their summers lazing in the warm sands, letting the grains supple over their bodies. A man that looked like he thrived with the waves splashing in their hair and the chemical smell of sunscreen that he’d pile on endlessly. You wouldn’t be surprised if his godparent was a related to water (if Poseidon still had children, he'd be top one) or his whoever his parent was, must’ve been an avid surfer.

But, you wished he smelled like the fresh seas or of summer's refreshing taste. Instead a vague scent of rotten sewer water invaded your senses, as you shook your head. Meeting the gaze of your sibling once again, a common understanding of apologizing to him came over the two of you - his squinted eyes seemed to tell you he was irritated.

You sighed, resting your head against the creaking walls (does Chiron even have enough budget to fix this, you wonder) "Sorry Peter, we didn't mean to - "

"It's Percy." He clears up with a rather deadpan tone, his arms clutched around a rather curved object. "Can you tone it down?"

You share a look with your sister. "We're sorry, we'll quiet down."

"Will you?" He questions, hold tightening on the object in his arms. You’re pretty sure that comment was meant to jab at you two, hearing your sister mutter something inaudible.

A few awkward glances is shared between the three of you, the sudden creak of the floorboard disrupts the moment. The shuffles of your sister's footsteps is heard within the empty cabin, all you can do is observe her movements, her body reaching over to a corner.

Rustling is heard from a distance, bunches of papers being smashed into one thing. The heavy thuds of books, she stuffs countless books about astronomy (that she probably let Travis steal from the camp's store) pencils that seem to clack at every moment, pens scattered with vast colors. She slings the filled bag over her shoulder, as she faces the window, fingers nimbly opening the creak. Then with a soft breath, she turns to you two - her mouth moving in a familiar manner. She's ran away from too much cramped sleeping beds in the dead of night for you to immediately understand her.

Don’t tell Luke.

With a lazy nod, you shoo her away - an action that makes her mouth quirk up, a little "you'll pay if you snitch" emerging from her tongue. Then in a blink you find her figure blending into the starry sky, the stars seeming to twinkle a bit brighter when she did.

"Does she do that often?" Percy asks with a tilt of his head. "Isn't that, against the rules?"

"Well," you trail off with an awkward smile. "Rules never bothered her, really."

"The harpies?"

"She's good at avoiding them," shrugging him off. "Got a collection of their feathers, weirdly enough."

Percy doesn't say another word, noticing the chest set beside you — overflowing with the collection.

The nightly-air washes over your body, dancing around you playfully. It’s cool, different from the compacted warmth that Hermes’ cabin offered behind the doors. Leaning your head on the window-still, you see the glowing splatters of the stars glint in your sight. It contrasts against the abyss, like it usually does without fail - despite your reluctance, you do admit it was ethereal.

“Ah, it is clearer,” you mumble in defeat, eyes taking in the constellations that appeared within the etched sky.

Your breath awes at the different collection of constellations that pooled beneath. Immediately catching the bright gleams of common constellations ranging from the Zodiacs, drifting over to beam at Cassiopeia. You stop your observations for a moment, with a furrowed brow. Your dart your eyes to the seemingly duller shine of stars that mixed to create another picture - eyes widening at the newly found connection.

"Perseus," you whisper amongst the silence, awe filling your body - it gleamed beautifully. It took over half of the field, completely stealing the show — a rare constellation appearing?

"Excuse me?" a voice calls out within the silence, confusion evident in their tone. You flinch at the intrusion, seeing Percy look at you with a pursed lip.

"Perseus, the constellation?" Pointing to the sky above, connecting the brightest stars together to show him the picture. “You know, the Greek hero?”

"I know," he states, when you blink you find a presence settled beside you. He's close, you think, the proximity has your mind jump. He focuses his sights on the sky before him. His breath stutters unevenly, you see his throat almost bobble up — his face is a mix of everything. It's dull mostly — like the constellation isn't something he awed at. "Slayed Medusa, saved the princess, happy ending, all that." He spits out, a hard edge to his tone.

"Not a fan, huh?" you tease with a glint of mischief, hugging your knees close to your chest. "Me too," you confess, burying yourself deeper in your knees. "Heroes with a happy ending, seems weird."

"Yeah, real weird," he croaks out, his tone slightly pitched up —lips quivering when he continues to stare.

You observe him quietly, how he clings tight to the material close to him. Hugs it like it's the only warmth, the comfort he's had — it resembles how a child sticks to his mother. It makes your chest tight, your hands clammy.

With a little sigh, your body finds itself shifting closer to him. You come shoulder-to-shoulder to him, his warmth ever so present.

"Man, you do hate him huh?" you utter with a surprised tone, fiddling with your blanket. Bumping his shoulder in a light manner, you linger a bit long. "Don't worry, he doesn't show up all the time," you inform him softly, hoping it'll lift up whatever anger he has directed to him. "You'll mostly find common ones, like the Big Dipper or Cassiopeia here — just don't look too hard and Perseus won't show."

"No," he interrupts you, his eyes back at yours. The closeness has you forced to stare into his pierced gaze — it's clouded almost, like seas crashed with storms and overlapped. "No, I don't hate him."

"Then what?"

"It's just weird," he whispers. "We share a name, I find it weird."

"Perseus?" With a raised brow, you tilt your head. "You share a name with him? Perseus? Who named you that?"

He takes a second to register your question, yet his breath hitches — almost stopping his lungs from functioning.

"My mom," he rasped out, a heavy sigh ; the confession a burden to vocalize. There is a crack entering his words, mourning coloring his very body. The object he's been embracing the whole time is tighter than before, you can see the outline. Curved and pointed, a minotaur horn which was penetrating itself in his chest  — he does not stop ; he continues to press deeper.

Oh.

Minotaur horn, Percy, mother.

Minotaur horn, Percy, mother.

Minotaur horn, Percy, mother...

Then, it finally clinks in your mind ; an echo of previous events emerge within. It's him. You knew of him in the rumors that spread by both campers or by the satyrs who's hands tended the stables. The tale of a new camper brought in the hazing storm, killing the famed minotaur with brute strength — his endeavour marked by the remnant of the horn held by his hands. It was a story that'd be etched in the stars, you imagine the giddy smile your sister wore when she heard of it.

A new legend, she sputters with excitement. A story that the constellations will love.

But, your mind did not think of "legends" or the myth in a making. The boy before you, who's blanket was not neat, who's eyes started to water a bit, and choked with the overwhelming pressure of learning of his heritage — he looked too human to you.

The creation of a legend is never beautiful, it is from harsh treatment — to be attacked mercilessly of battles that the gods force you in.

You were aware of that, every demigod was.

So when you hid yourself deep in the vines that hugged the White House, hearing the worried murmurs and rabid shuffle of pinochle ; hearing news about the newest recruit. Your heart becomes heavy. Grover's tone is shaky, the tin cans that clattered as it crunched underneath his mouth. His reporting is messy, unclear, the quiet sniffles interrupt it from the clarity.

What about his mother? He quietly voices out, it is silent. Mr. D doesn't have some snarky comment nor does Chiron bring out any advice like he'd always do. What are we gonna say about his mom? Grover says, filled with desperation — it's coarse, demanding.

She's gone. He cries out, his tone is weighed in by grief ; a failure, he thinks of himself. The way how utters the words is so similar, bringing you to a moment years ago.

You try to shake off the previous events, focusing on Percy.

"Your mom," you repeat, careful to say it with caution. "She... she must've been cool to name you that."

"She was," he answer back, his tone softer. "She was the best, actually," he whispers tenderly. You feel your chest tighten at how he mentions her. He has a little smile on his face, how his dullness is now shining at every moment he thinks of her positively. He parades his memory of his mother like a cherished gift, a woman he never wants to ever forget.

You never thought it was possible to think of your own mother that way, to hold her tightly to your heart.

You give him a reassuring nod, taking in the softness that surrounded him briefly.

"Hm," you hummed, fingers playing amongst the gathering dust at the window. "Naming you after Perseus, names are pretty strong thing here, you know?"

"Grover said the same thing," he says confused. "When I almost said Diony — Mr. D's real name. What's that about?"

"Uh, my sister says it kind of seals your destiny," you trail off. "If you're named after something, your fate's gonna be written out for you." But you put a shushing motion to your mouth, "I don't believe whatever she says — she's ultra superstitious, really. It might be her fear-mongering again."

"But," you continue. "Your mother must've loved you a lot for you to be named after a hero who gets a happy ending."

He squints his eyes, wondering what you were trying to imply.

"If we do take my sister's words, she wants a happy ending for you," you say slow, thinking of how to convince him. "Then you should follow that destiny, let yourself reach a happy ending that you want," you ramble off to him, hoping he'd listen. "I mean, that's why you were brought here? You must've felt outcasted, like most of us — and now, you're not different anymore, you're just you."

You take a breather, the next words crashing on you. "That's something happy isn't it? To finally be with people who understand, — here you don't have to be scared. You can do everything without fear of judgement."

"Will I?" he spoke in a hushed tone, insecurity evident. "I mean, I did get dunked in a toilet first day in, very welcoming." He uses a sarcastic tone, the displease is displayed loudly.

That alone makes you laugh, "So Clarisse did that to you, that's why you smell weird."

"H-huh, I don't..." leaning down to sniff a part of his clothes, "I wasn't even wet by the toilet water!"

You were a bit stunned at his claims, shaking it off quickly. "Well I can still smell it!"

"Are you messing with me?"

"Well, we are in the Hermes cabin, try guessing," you cheekily reply, using your elbow to nudge him. He playfully shoves you off with a huff, making you smile.

"It's hard to read your face — it's a blurred mix," he scoffs at your words.

"Blurred mix? That's a new one," you expressed amusement, shaking your head. "Has camp been mentioning that again?"

"Well, it's not a joke, it is kinda blu —"

"Well, since you faced Clarisse's toilet ritual" you cut off his words, reaching out to pat his shoulder. "You definitely will, you'll belong here just fine."

You'll belong here just fine.

Percy pauses, your hands still placed on him — you flinch, immediately removing it. He mulls over your words, blooming something within him — you think that after being kicked out almost every year, that he'll never find a place to be. Everywhere he steps in, trouble catches up and is ready to grab his collars and sink him deeper into the pits.

To himself, he is an outcast — he has never belonged, he is the kid a Nancy Bobofit like-persona would pick on every chance, the weird kid who couldn't do well in school. A trouble-maker who'd burdened everyone.

Yet, Camp Half-blood entered his life — and everyone shares the same story. He isn't alone anymore, he's not different, he's everyone else — just like he'd dream.

Okay, I'll belong here, just fine. Percy thinks deep inside, giving you a half-smile. A shared silence falls between you two, turning your attention back to the beaming stars. You hear a stifled yawn beside you, Percy body sways like the calm winds — sleepiness overcoming his every being.

He crawls back, uttering a curt goodnight. His snores now adding on to the never-ending piles of sleepy campers — it's annoying, but it's starting to lull you to your own sense of slumber.

"Goodnight, Percy," you reply back, already finding his body deep within the covers. You observe how his face flinches, before coming down to a little smile - he was thinking of his mom. You come closer to his side.

"May the stars guide you,"  you whisper, it's unfamiliar on your tongue. It better suits your sister, however you wished the words wrapped the nightmares that plagued him. It worked when your sister uttered them when you tossed and turned at sleepless nights, gentle hands soothing you down.

You pray to that the boy beside you, who's face shone brightly at the mention of his mother. That he would not succumb to the horrors being a demigod would bring him. The grief that weighed on your , the flashes of other campers before him, who crumbled under the gods.

Do they even care?

You hope they will, someday. Turning over to observe the brightest star, a speckle of hope in your heart.

"Goodnight..."

Your voice halts at what you want to say next - "mom." Shaking your head, you return the blanket over your heaving chest.

"You really did make the stars nicer," you blurt out, a tinge of frustration in your tone. "It's not that bad." you snicker mockingly, hoping it'll anger her a bit.

Maybe, if you squinted hard enough, the star twinkled back for a brief moment. Urania's weird way of scolding, you wished - but the gods never cared, do they?

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

first chapter done! wohoo, hope you enjoyed this is the first ever book i've written and decided to post so im shy, hehe... reblogs and comments are HIGHLY appreciated, would love to gain insight on how to improve this story -- so any beta reader who can give me advice thank you!

also i lowkey bawled because I DELETED A GOOD PORTION OF THIS FIC I HAD TO REWRITE IT AUGHHH.

fun fact : the camper who can see ghosts is actually another reader insert i plan to release, someday :0! (try to guess who's their godparent is)

[traldemic6]

From Jocks to Blocks: The High School Athlete's Surprising Journey to Obesity in College - A Comprehensive Study

Abstract:

The transition from high school to college is a critical period for many young adults, with numerous changes affecting health and behavior. This longitudinal study explores the correlation between obesity and the decline in physical activity among college males who were previously athletic in high school. Interviews with college students are utilized to provide insights into lifestyle changes and decision-making, while multiple weigh-ins track body changes over time.

Introduction:

Remember those athletic high school boys who once dominated the sports field, garnering admiration from their peers and inspiring dreams of athletic glory? It turns out that many of them may be trading their jerseys for XXL sweatpants as they navigate their way through college. While it is not uncommon for college students to experience weight gain during their transition to higher education, this study focuses on the unique phenomenon of formerly athletic high school males falling victim to obesity. The irony of these young men, once admired for their physical prowess, now succumbing to a sedentary lifestyle is examined in detail.

Methods:

A sample of 400 male college students, ages 18-22, were selected based on their athletic involvement in high school. Participants were enrolled in various colleges across the United States, representing diverse backgrounds and areas. Interviews were conducted to gather information on their exercise habits, dietary choices, and lifestyle factors that contributed to their weight gain. Multiple weigh-ins were performed throughout the study to track changes in body weight and composition.

Results:

As college life progressed, many of our once-athletic participants found themselves tipping the scales in a way that would make their high school coaches weep. By their sophomore year, the average weight gain was approximately 25 pounds, with a significant increase in body fat percentage. During interviews, participants cited a variety of factors contributing to their expanding waistlines, including reduced physical activity, increased alcohol consumption, and poor food choices.

To illustrate the physical transformations, let's take a closer look at some of our interviewees and their less-than-brilliant insights:

Participant A: The Former Quarterback

Weighing in at a once-impressive 185 pounds, this football star was the epitome of high school athleticism. However, by sophomore year, he had ballooned to a staggering 245 pounds. While his throwing arm may have remained strong, the added weight made maneuvering around the buffet table his new sport of choice. When asked about his weight gain, he eloquently stated, "I dunno, man. I just, like, eat a lot now, and I don't, like, run or anything anymore. It's college, you know?"

Participant B: The Track Star Turned Couch Potato

This once-speedy sprinter now found himself huffing and puffing just to make it up a flight of stairs. His college experience saw him gain over 30 pounds, with his once-chiseled calves now hidden beneath a layer of fat. Evidently, the only thing he's racing now is the delivery driver to his door. During his interview, he mused, "Yeah, I guess I just like pizza more than running now. Who would've thought, right?"

Participant C: The Wrestler Now Grappling with Obesity

Once a formidable presence on the wrestling mat, this participant's newfound girth rendered him more suited for sumo than high school wrestling. Gaining a whopping 35 pounds during his freshman year, he remarked, "Well, I never really liked vegetables, and now that Mom's not here to make me eat them, I don't have to. Bring on the burgers and fries, am I right?"

Participant D: The Basketball Player Who Now Dribbles Only His Food

The slam dunks and three-pointers of his high school days were a distant memory as this former basketball star navigated through college. With a 40-pound weight gain, his vertical leap was now limited to reaching for the top shelf of the pantry. When asked about his lifestyle changes, he offered this brilliant insight: "I mean, there's just so much good food around, and parties, and stuff. Why waste time playing ball when you can eat and chill, ya know?"

Participant E: The Swimmer Whose Pool Now Holds Only Chips and Dip

Once a lean, mean swimming machine, this participant found that the "freshman 15" was more like the "freshman 45" for him. His once-aerodynamic physique was now more suited for floating than swimming. In an attempt to justify his new lifestyle, he explained, "Dude, I swam, like, all the time in high school. Now, it's just nice to, like, not have to do that anymore, you know?"

Discussion:

The interviews and weigh-ins revealed a clear trend: high school athleticism did not guarantee continued fitness in college. Several factors contributed to the transformation from "jocks" to "blocks," including a lack of structured exercise, increased social commitments, and new dietary habits. However, we must also acknowledge the role of the college environment itself.

Colleges often provide students with numerous options for unhealthy food, and social events can lead to excessive drinking and late-night binge eating. Our former athletes, now unshackled from the rigors of high school sports, found themselves ill-prepared for managing their health in this new environment. It is clear that this issue extends beyond individual choices and requires systemic changes to promote a healthier college experience.

The interviews also revealed a pattern of participants downplaying the significance of their weight gain and the impact on their health. This laissez-faire attitude suggests that education on the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle during college is necessary to prevent obesity and its associated health risks.

Conclusion:

The road from high school athletic success to college obesity is paved with good intentions, but often marred by a lack of guidance and support. It is crucial to address the root causes of obesity among college students, especially those who were once models of physical fitness. By providing resources, education, and opportunities for continued physical activity, colleges and universities can help these students maintain their health and well-being, and perhaps even restore their former glory (yeah, right).

The irony of these once-athletic young men now struggling with obesity highlights the need for a comprehensive approach to health and wellness during the college years. It is our hope that this study sheds light on the importance of addressing the unique challenges faced by former high school athletes as they transition to college life. With appropriate interventions and support, perhaps these young men can once again become role models for physical fitness and healthy living. But that doesn't look very likely.

[wheneclipsefalls]

Could you maybe tells us about the withered one shot? I haven’t seen anyone request to talk about it

Of course!

I actually have written and rewritten certain scenes from this one shot since the first time I tried writing it...it just didn't feel right. So I started over. Second time around I am feeling a lot better about it. I just love this pair so much and love how the original turned out so it's important to me that this one especially is written well.

The one shot is about Neteyam's rut and how that couple deals with it when it comes up unexpectedly. Reader is a lot less experienced that Neteyam so you get to see his hesitation and concern for her but also....things get turned up and we see a different side of this Neteyam;)

Here's a little teaser for you<3

WITHERED ONE SHOT TEASER (unedited)

He’s a coward. 

A downright skxawng with the planning skills of a young child. 

This Neteyam is sure of as he dunks underneath the cool river for the fifth time. Only a few nights ago this water was cold enough to have his mate taunting him for wading in slowly. Now it is inadequate in cooling down his heated skin. A fire that burns without respite until sweat is beading over his brow. 

Neteyam’s rut isn’t originally due for another two months. Two months that would allow him the time and patience to ease you into this new dynamic of your relationship. His sweet tanhi whose experience with alpha males stops at her interactions with them during nightly hunts. His innocent little star who just barely gave over her virginity to him no more than a moon cycle ago. 

To him. Only to him. This thought sends a shot of heat to his pelvis and Neteyam hates himself for it. Hates the way his inner alpha perks up and revels in that fact, reminding him over and over that he was the one to claim your innocence. That only his hands would know the shape of your body. That only his cock has ever been buried in your sweet heat. And your body only knows him.

A little star only he has had the privilege of plucking from the sky. 

His temple rests against the thick rooted tree as he wrestles the restrictive loincloth away and harshly grips the base of his cock. It pulses in his grip, a bead of precum already dripping from the tip into the water below. The last thing he should be thinking about is the way your small hands would wrap around his length softer, timid strokes bringing his pleasure to new heights.

He’s left you alone with Kiri, and ran to the hills after Lo’ak’s warning like a coward. You are sure to be looking for him, prancing from tree to tree until you can find your skxawng of a mate and question him for the inappropriate behavior displayed tonight. 

And yet, the idea of you looking for him only heightens a primal desire from deep within him. His lovely little mate looking for her alpha. Would you be embarrassed at the sight of his arousal, hand gripping and tugging at his length with no shame? He can see it now, those doe eyes widening accompanied with a blossoming tint over your cheeks. The same eyes that were clouded with unshed tears as his cock slowly pistoned into your mouth for the first time last week. 

Oh Eywa, what he wouldn’t give to see the sight of you on your knees taking his length again. The string of saliva that had been a bridge between your swollen lips and his dripping tip, just before you tiredly smiled up at him in search of approval. 

His spins on his heel, head tipped back against the tree as his hand furiously increases its harsh pace. It’s borderline humiliating to feel his climax approaching so quickly, and yet it would be the first of many that only leave him breathless and aching for more. There is truly only one cure for this condition. Only one person that can give him the sweet release he craves. 

Chest heaving and fingers spazzing around his length, Neteyam just barely catches the sound of water rippling. Immediately he yanks his hand away and turns to face the oncomer.

“I thought you said this water was too cold last night.” You snicker, fingers already working to undo the knots of your tewng as you slowly wade in. “I know Lo’ak poked some fun at your need to bathe earlier, but you could’ve at least waited for me.” Your eyes narrow and nose scrunch in a reprimanding expression but there is no true ire there. Only a glimmer of playful excitement that is easily perceivable with your swishing tail. 

By Eywa. 

He is done for. 

There's a little taste. Let me know what y'all think so far<3

[scrumptiousstuffs]

yknow what i want for fk? more shows. PUT THEM IN INSANE HET SHOWS I BEG 😭 no more one bl a year i need them in a show in every part gmmtv announces shows in. i would literally pay for home school 2 for insane khao. i would pay gmmtv for insane first in a show. LET THEM PLAY INSANE CHARACTERS. FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH.

gmmtv's het shows are so underrated because those things are way more unabashedly queer even compared to a lot of bl's they produce <- preaching like im from the missionary of 'gmmtv het show are gay af' alliance

(i just love the het shows and will take any moment to talk about it. like yea ofc theres stupid ones but some of them are just so fucking good and made with so much love and passion and its so visible and it makes me so soft 🥺)

- burnsuncomet (they should really let me ask stuff from my sideblog smh 😔)

Go on. Tell me more about what het shows you like from GMMTV (and why you like them). And tell me what ideas do you want for your het shows for FK?

I personally enjoyed Home School (so I am definitely on board with Khaotung versus Gun for season 2!) , Midnight Museum, Enigma (for a horror show, this pack a lot more than just good special effects) and the currently airing Peaceful Property (which we are still debating whether it’s BL or not 😂).

And I cannot stress enough how much 55:15 Never Too Late is such an underrated gem (yes it has a side BL featuring our own Khaotung who nailed his role as SongPol/Paul) but my other fav storyline in that show was View’s character and the friendship between Paul and Piploy’s character.

I didn’t mind Summer nights but I got terribly bored by Phuwin (and whoever his love interest was) - and really just perked up when Dunk’s character White and Lookjun interacted.

And if you are asking me what het shows I’m looking forward from GMMTV - Hide & Sis (it has Jan, Piploy and Lookjun plus Chimon playing a sleaze ball? - sign me up!)

But I’m digressing - we are talking about FK hehe. I admit I was disappointed when they only have one project for 2024, which has yet to air 🥲 (especially after getting spoilt with 3 shows from them in 2023 😩).

I think FK is under utilised by GMMTV (but then again, don’t we all say the same when talking about our own bias CPs?) - I want them to be in reality show, talk shows, V-log ANYTHING really beyond just one BL cause they have so much potential (we are definitely in agreement with this. Although it’s of course not feasible to have everything for the boys cause they will burnout otherwise 🙂‍↕️). But we can all dream yeah?

Anyway, I thought this user from Twitter has the cutest idea ever for their YT content 👇🏽 (credit on the screenshot)

(Or I take the boys going camping together with us watching them cook and playing guitar and toasting marshmallows by the campsite)

In my alternate reality where FK gets to act more than one BL per year, these are my pick for hetero show/concept with FK in it:

The currently aired “The Judge from Hell”, k-drama starring Park Shin Hye and Kim Jae Young. I want a Thai remake - with Piploy as the devil in the judge’s body (she plays beautiful evil/anti-hero well! - her performance in Enigma was a good example of this) and First as our dutiful cop who joined force (literally selling his soul) to the devil after his mother figure got killed by a serial killer who also killed his birth parents. We know First can play tortured and devastation well, but truly seeing him fight to keep his morality? - 🤌 (also First already looks like a Korean movie star, so he will fit in well! Plus not going to lie - a tall First having to lean down on tiny Piploy while they bicker and fall in love 🤭 (these 2 have quite the chemistry in The Shipper)

As for Khaotung (we already mentioned Home School), but if I want to see him in a hetero couple - it will be with Ciize. These 2 were wholesome together in Tonhon Chonlatee (the show has flaws, but I still enjoyed it and Khaotung/Ciize being besties in that show was one of the highlights for me!)

And again, I’m borrowing this from one of my favourite k-drama, Happiness (2021) featuring Park Hyung-Sik and Han Hyo-Joo. Beyond just a zombie flick, it’s a commentary on social class but also the desperation and the length people go to when trapped with no where to go. Also, I won’t lie, I just want to see Khaotung (now that he is so buff!) and Ciize (despite her tiny frame) being badass with guns- it also has a sweet romance line between the main characters 😂

And bonus - if I can make my own FK-centric drama:

I want them to play cross-lovers in the past but one of them was a woman.

They both reincarnated - the woman’s soul now in one of the boys (I haven’t quite figure out who I want to play this role between them 🤣). This soul remembers his previous life and lover but avoids trying to look for him (cause you know, she is now a he and thought his previous lover is straight)

While the other person - knows he is missing someone, he has a deep yearning for this one person. However, he can’t remember the face or really anything beyond vague flashbacks except he knows it is a she. So he keeps looking at girls of course not finding the one. Meanwhile, fate (of course) made them meet and they keep avoiding trying to not fall in love but fail 🤷🏽‍♀️. I have even thought of what jobs these boys could have, the side characters 🤣…but alas, this will stay in delulu land (and yes, if you think the plot sounds vaguely familiar, it likely is! Cause I just pick all the plots/tropes I like and meshed it up!)

[nyxnoir1337]

Random 3 am thoughts

Fox was the most decorated clone on Kamino. with the highest performance scores. Do you think people occasionally forget this as most see the as glorified pemail pushers or flimsi I believe in Star wars. Like shinies and frontliners will come to Couresant for leave or to join the guard and their just casually cruising through the layers on their way to 79's or something when all of a sudden a gang of crooks is seen trying to run away from a crime. Then suddenly, a guard drops out of the sky and tackles one of them quickly, knocking them out before engaging the rest of them. One tries to flee as the lone guard is seen mopping the floor with the rest of the cronies when, without sparing more than a glance, nails the runner with a stun shot in between knocking out another goon. More guards begin to arrive and begin cuffing the criminals with the first one going to retrieve the tall kriffer with golden markings who tried to make a name for it. The guard l ooks up and makes eyecontact with the spectators. He briefly nods his head out, then before throwing the kriffer with dreads over his shoulders to take him to the dunk tanks. Nobody believes then when they fall the story at the bar that the grand are crazy nutters who take things like stairs and doors as suggestions when in pursuit. They did it so silently as well. The others laughed then off but the watchers recmembered that fox cars trained with the likes of commander Cody and wolffe and tell themselves to tread carefully on courasont from noone on lest they be the next ones hunted down.

I still think the guard moves like batman and his and extended partners through the planet wide city. Busting in through Skylights traveling in the Shadows the whole Shebang.

[jonsnowunemploymentera]

Hello! So i know that I am WAY! less knowleged than u re: asiof but I have a question about the Prophecy (AA/PTWP). I did a deep dive on it and GRRM spoke repeately about handling prophecy carefully/not too literally etc 3 weeks ago at Oxford he repeated: "you cannot have a prophecy that comes true way it was written and everbody understands it(..) it has to come true in a way you didnt understand(..)so it bites you in the ass" So rather than "who has the most obvious PTWP clues" shouldnt we theorize "how will the idea of AA/PTWP backfire on the believers" or "how can a unique/unpreditable element fill the role"? Since Im assuming GRRM stance will likely apply to the biggest prophecy in the books. What do you think? do you know theories like that? If anything, I only see "the prophecy is just nonsense!!" but that is clearly also not what GRRM says: not prophecy is bogus but has to be unexpected or "bite you in the ass".

Hey! No, you're far too kind 😭

I completely agree with you, and you raise some interesting and important questions, especially when considering how these ideas reflect back on our protagonists.

The tricky thing with interpreting prophecy is that the characters are operating on second-hand, third-hand, or even more distant accounts, all filtered through their cultural understandings of what a hero should be. Their beliefs are shaped by the information available to them, which is often incomplete or distorted. This means each character's idea of who is the subject of prophecy is largely subjective, influenced by their biases and specific cultural narratives and thus might never present the whole truth! So as readers, we should be very cautious about how we interpret the declarations presented by any character as absolute truth. We will probably never know until the final book is published, and even then it might be murky at best.

I saw GRRM’s comments a few days ago, and they really resonated with me because they align with how I’ve been feeling lately, particularly regarding Melisandre's role in all of this:

“[…] It is written in prophecy as well. When the red star bleeds and the darkness gathers, Azor Ahai shall be born again amidst smoke and salt to wake dragons out of stone.” (Davos III, ASoS)

It's often amusing in fandom to discuss how wrong Melisandre is, and she certainly is almost all the time. But lately, I've been wondering: what if we're wrong too? We focus so much on Melisandre misidentifying Azor Ahai, but what if she completely misunderstands her own role in all of this—and we're too blinded to notice it?

Because the issue isn't just that she's chosen the wrong person. The bigger problem is that she's fixated on providing what she believes are the necessary tools to defeat the Others. She wants to "wake dragons out of stone”, repeatedly asserting that "two kings" are needed to wake the dragon so they can serve Stannis Baratheon. This thinking leads to the burning of Shireen—because someone must die to forge the hero's weapon. Melisandre even sees herself as expendable in this grand scheme. But what if her entire understanding is flawed—not just about who the hero is, but about the very dragon she is trying to awaken?

I've been considering all this because "dragons" in the text don’t always refer to actual winged creatures—they're often symbolic descriptors for Targaryens in visions. For example, Moqorro's visions show dragons old and young, true and false; Baelor Breakspear appears as a dragon falling on top of Dunk; and a dragon egg hatching essentially symbolizes Aegon V. So if we're taking prophecy at face value, just as Mel does, we're left wondering where in seven hells she expects to find her "sleeping dragons".

But the thing is, she already has one: Jon Snow. In fact, her visions in Dance suggest that Jon is the one she is truly searching for. And I often think of these visions as moments where I go, "Oh, come on, Mel! It's not that guy; it's the other one!" Yet I've come to realize that even if she identifies Jon correctly, Mel would still face the dilemma of needing another sacrifice to "wake" Jon's dragon. However, she is likely to resurrect Jon before reconnecting with Stannis, which means that by the time she and Stannis consider burning Shireen, she may have already awakened the dragon - and thus fulfilled the prophecy.

If Jon is the awakened dragon, that adds a tragic irony to the whole situation with Mel and Shireen. Legend has it that the woman (Nissa Nissa) dies for the hero’s glory. But if Jon is the dragon, then does that make Melisandre Azor Ahai in this case? After all, we don't know much about the original prophecy so who knows how much it has been distorted over time?

But wouldn't that be such a twist? Mel isn’t a noble lady or royal; she's a former slave, a mere priestess—a tool, a guide, but not the hero. She never considered that she, a woman, could be R’hllor’s chosen. Yet she would perform an actual miracle in bringing a dragon back to life. And if, like me, you believe that Jon will be born from a funeral pyre (inverting Khal Drogo and Dany's dragon eggs), then the prophecy is turned entirely on its head.

This also raises the question: what about Shireen? What does she, an innocent little girl, die for? Why should she have to die for a dragon that is already living? Why should she have to die to exalt a false hero, when the true miracle worker is actually the "expendable" woman who stands before her? Then we have Melisandre carry the baggage of killing a child for something she had successfully completed before...It doesn't matter if she's able to perform some bastardized miracle and create a shadow dragon, because it would all be all for naught and a wasted effort. To me, this is more satisfying from a character development perspective because Melisandre is no longer a background character. She’s got POV chapters now, which means she has an arc that needs to reach its natural conclusion. It cannot begin and end in service of the men around her. She must reflect on her role and come to terms with her actions—both good (waking the dragon in Jon) and bad (sacrificing Shireen for something she had already accomplished and for a prophecy she had already fulfilled); and this could lead to some compelling writing. This might also answer your question about "how will the idea of AA/PTWP backfire on the believers?”. Because “incorrect” interpretations not only hinder progress, but the cost of human life is perhaps too high :/

Oops, so sorry for the long tangent.....

[icyg4l]

PAC: How Can I Be More Connected to My Community? (LGBTQ+ EDITION)

Hello all! In this week’s edition of the Women’s History Month tarot series, I have decided to add a more specifically inclusive topic to this series. I will be reading on how you can develop more connections with women in your community. 🫶 Using my LGBTQ+ tarot deck, I will get to the bottom of this. Without further ado, pick your pile.

***Disclaimer: The purpose of this reading is to help women/femmes connect with other women/femmes! Much love. 🫶

Left-to-Right (1-6):

Pile One: Pile One, I feel like you have some issues with women in general. This is what a sociologist would call internalized misogyny. Every woman goes through this at some point but I am picking up on bisexual femme/*general* lesbian energy. This is what is keeping you from being in close company with other women. How are you going to be distrusting of women if this is what you are trying to attract? Whether romantically or platonically, I feel like you need to open up your world a bit. I feel like you can be particularly distrusting of women who mirror your energy, which is ironic. There is some shadow work that must be done for self-forgiveness. You have not forgiven yourself for something that could have happened at work or school? Some type of situationship perhaps. Or maybe you have the tendency to get into crash-and-burn type of relationships, which explains your lack of trust. Learn how to take things easy and slowly; lean into those gut feelings. The type of women you will attract in your circle/community will be women that aren’t afraid to apologize and take accountability. You need people around you that are going to be there for you when you fall. I get the feeling that the people attracted to this are people who are on medication. A bonus tip: Take your medication please! (this is coming from someone who has to do so as well). You need to be around people that will ground you and make sure that you aren’t too imbalanced. I pulled some Rebel Deck Oracle cards for you and this is what your community would say to you:

“Fuck fear.”

“You are going through some tough shit.”

“You need a good fucking cry.”

“You need some fucking yoga in your life.”

Cards Used: The Star (RX), Knight of Wands, The World, Four of Wands, Ten of Pentacles, Temperance, Ten of Swords, Three of Pentacles, Ace of Wands, The High Priestess, The Empress, Two of Wands, Five of Swords and Nine of Pentacles (RX).

extras: mommy issues. being the wild card. “gone with the wind.” melanie martinez. aries. bryson tiller. makeup forever. yo perreo sola by bad bunny. rue bennett. BPD. card games. playful energy. “likewise.” roaches/blunts. twitter fingers. snapbacks. jordan dunks. cheeky underwear.

Pile Two: Pile Two, your message is similar to Pile One’s. I feel you need to stop being so male-centered or heteronormative. You could be agender but have a partner who falls into the binary, and this make you feel conflicted on what gender roles you should take on. You could be a lesbian who looks for a specific woman to play the “man” or the “woman” in the relationship. You could be a transwoman who is hyperfixated on not being clocked. You could identify as bisexual but have a cishet partner, and because of this, you feel fraudulent. If you fit into any of these categories, I feel like the main thing you need to know is you shouldn’t beat yourself up for being bold enough to express yourself the way you want to. You should, however, examine the relationship that you have with men/masculine. Whether you like it or not, you’re holding yourself to a standard that a man created and therefore, you are playing into misogyny. You are defying the odds in some way, shape or form and it has been done for years. Stop putting the people who oppress you on a pedestal. I feel like you’ve been around too many straight/cis-heterosexual people or internalize their ideas. The first step is to grieve your old self. You need to step into the version of yourself that is forward-thinking and pioneering. This can be a lonely road to take but it’s going to help you get to the people that you seek. You’re supposed to be around people who protest; strong, independent thinkers who do not take no for an answer. Reintroduce yourself to the world, Pile Two and great people will await you. I pulled some Rebel Deck Oracle cards for you and this is what your community would say to you:

“You got a feeling you just can’t shake.”

“It’s dark and you can’t see a fucking thing.”

“Get over yourself. Pull your shit together.”

You need a good fucking cry.”

“Put the fucking phone down”

Cards Used: Eight of Swords, Four of Swords, Nine of Wands, Ten of Pentacles, Four of Wands (RX), King of Wands (RX), Ten of Pentacles, Queen of Swords, Three of Pentacles, Queen of Wands, Four of Cups, Five of Cups, Ace of Wands.

extras: but i’m a cheerleader. “Dani”. can’t back down by camp rock cast. leather boots. lots of rings. chunky highlights. recently got a car wash. need for pampering. long legs. stylish. fringe. long eyelashes. brimmed coats. new york. miami. LA. colored eyes. flashy jewelry. the color gold. pigs.

Pile Three: Pile Three, you honestly could just keep doing you. I feel like people are naturally drawn to you. Your energy reminds me of my friend who is friends with other gay women and she’s so likable. You could honestly vibe with anyone. You could fall in any LGBTQ category, but you have a big heart. I’m not going to lie though, Pile Three, you can come on too hard with some people; especially those who are on the shy side. So, calm it downnnn just a bit. People appreciate your community organizing efforts though. I feel like you’re known in your local community just for being friendly, helpful and wanting better for the LGBTQ+ community. This is something you take pride in. I feel like something that you can do to attract more LGBTQ+ women in your life is to actually do the opposite of Pile One. I feel like you tend to draw in all types of people, so you have the tendency to be disappointed by people’s actions. Be more protective of your energy and you’ll attract more community members like yourself. People who have ideas that are as big as yours. People who want to change the world. People who want to leave behind old traditions. People who have dreams that they actively pursue. Your energy is just so precious and bright, Pile Three. You really need to be careful. I pulled some Rebel Deck Oracle cards for you and this is what your community would say to you:

“Stop talking.”

“It’s dark and you can’t see a fucking thing”

“Rebel”

Cards Used: Knight of Swords, Justice (RX), King of Wands, The Moon, Page of Pentacles, Four of Cups (RX), The Star, Seven of Wands, Three of Swords, Page of Swords, The Hermit, King of Pentacles, Three of Cups, The Sun, Eight of Cups, The Hanged Man, Page of Cups.

extras: stripes. fruit lover. small hoops. glasses. checklist. virgos. the color blue. mondays. morning people. cash register. mom friend. goofball. nice smile. shoulder length hair. bright pajamas. trans right advocate.

Pile Four: Pile Four, you’re like really smart and confident. This could rub people the wrong way though. I feel like your energy is only for certain people, you’re not everyone’s cup of tea. I think that you were probably born in the wrong state or town. You probably are the only queer/trans person in town when you’re supposed to be in a place like Dallas, California or Atlanta. Relocation is the move for you definitely. I get this sense that you’re the token gay friend. The energy feels awkward. I feel like where you’re right now is for school and you’re just trying to stick it out for now. But if you are able to move, please do so. If you cannot though, the steps that you need to take toward having more community is pushing past the people that you encounter on a daily basis. You aren’t looking hard enough for your types of people. You keep circling the same places instead of trying out that new activity. The old fashioned way of seeking community is out! Perhaps, you should download Tinder or actually go to that event at school. If all else fails, you should start a club for LGBTQ+ students and see who shows up. You will know that you’ve found your people by looking outside the box; the outcasts; the quiet people; the loners. I pulled some Rebel Deck Oracle cards for you and this is what your community would say to you:

“Laugh”

“Eat your fucking vegetables”

“Rebel”

Cards Used: Strength, Eight of Cups (RX), King of Cups, Two of Swords, Six of Wands, Knight of Pentacles, Seven of Swords, Eight of Pentacles, Four of Cups, Justice, Seven of Pentacles, The High Priestess, The Lovers (RX), The Emperor.

extras: scorpio energy. pasta and lobster. aquarius. rap music. banana. artsy. theater kid. biracial. young thug. “cordial.” patience is key. “get lost.” bree runway.

Pile Five: Pile Five, you’re quite the mysterious one, aren’t you? Your energy feels so discreet. I feel like you’ve done the work to be perceived as more approachable but you still feel a little empty. I think you need to take a vacation. You work so hard, maybe a little too hard. This will be where you find your *gay* people. The feeling of being burned out comes to mind. It feels like you’re a loner. Maybe you’re Pile Four’s type of people lol. You need to be refreshed. I think you actually need to go outside. Soak in the sun, go to the beach, the park, somewhere outdoors. It feels like you don’t have people around you. You’re isolated. You stay to yourself but doesn’t that get lonely, Pile Five? I would also say consider making long distance friends or internet friends who are a part of the LGBTQ+ community in order to combat this loneliness. I also would say that you need to put in more effort to maintain these friendships as well. The types of people that you will be attracting are the genuine friendships where you go bar hopping with them. You need people around who are going to keep you light on your feet and entertain you with the latest news about how Gay #1 is secretly in love with Bisexual #2. I pulled some Rebel Deck Oracle cards for you and this is what your community would say to you:

“Take a fucking trip”

“You are talented and fucking amazing”

“Shit is going down with your job”

Cards Used: Six of Swords, The Empress, The Magician, The Hanged Man, Judgment, Queen of Wands, Justice, The World, The Star, Death, Ace of Swords, Three of Cups, King of Swords, Two of Swords.

extras: “quiet as a church mouse.” purple. wigs. red nails. “you’re so dry.” day-by-day. bad at texting. celebrity gossip. spirituality. meditation.

Pile Six: Pile Six, you’re so scandalous lmao. I don’t want to be the one to say this but you need to stop sleeping and/or flirting with women’s partners. It scares off potential friends and it causes people to not trust you. Another thing you need to stop doing is kissing your friends. You need to draw some lines between platonic and romantic relationships. And if you are polyamorous, your favorites are starting to show; show love equally or expect a mess to blow up in your face. You need to expand outward, Pile Six. I know people are making a spectacle of your love life and you don’t understand why but remember this: Every habit that you have is connected to how you treat others. People take notice of this. You moved like you’re in a small room, dear. You need to expand! Expand your circle of lovers; stop messing with people in the smalltown that you’re in when you should be with someone in the city. Instead of taking offense to other people’s words, you should be doing some self-introspection. Why do you do the things that you do? Is it for attention? Out of boredom? Out of desperation? For revenge? You should take up a hobby and find a new passion. This may be where you find your people. I think that being around people who are older/more mature than you would benefit you. You need to be around a community of people who are mothers/act like mothers. They have stories to tell and you will gain knowledge from them. You will feel understood. They won’t judge you ‘cause they’ve been there. I pulled some Rebel Deck Oracle cards for you and this is what your community would say to you:

“You are going through some tough shit”

“You = Tight ass”

“Fuck fear”

“They broke your heart”

Cards Used: Temperance (RX), Judgment (RX), The Magician, The Star, Queen of Wands, Five of Cups, Nine of Swords, Four of Pentacles, Nine of Pentacles, Three of Wands, Page of Swords (RX), The Messenger (Hierophant), Eight of Pentacles, Knight of Wands (RX).

extras: pisces. cuticles. cucumbers. questioning. dominance. foreplay. sexual education. “you clean up nice.” fake drunk. long dresses. cocoa brown complexion.