#i am in PAIn

[nvthedasmode]

Sleep in the casket you made; you’re gone, sucker

Inspired by Sucker from the Arcane soundtrack, ft. a Dark Solas variant. Not perfect by any means but I am still learning 👉👈

[backwardshatnick]

the last 4 paragraphs broke me because clarity and comprehension is literally what everyone deserves :(

₊⊹what we thought was for all time was momentary

title: loml

word count: 1767

warnings: heartbreak, crying, use of Y/N, angst (sorry guys!)

Holy Ghost, you told me I’m

The love of your life

Your heart wrenched. It felt like it was breaking into a million pieces. You couldn’t move, you couldn’t speak. Your body began to tremble, your bottom lip quivering, and your vision blurry from the tears forming. 

“We need to break up.” Those four words hit you like you like a tidal wave. You knew things hadn’t been okay for awhile, but you always had faith that things would work out for the better. You couldn’t imagine your life without him and now here he stood right in front of you, his hands in his pockets, his face so hard to read.

Of course you wanted to beg for him to not leave you, to not give up on the relationship. You weren’t ready to give up on it. You two were together for so long, built so much together, and shared so many amazing memories. How could you just let all of that go? How could you walk away from everything you’ve ever wanted and needed?

You gulped down a choked sob, immediately shaking your head as you blinked back the tears, allowing them to fall against your cheeks. Your knees began to wobble, but you tried to keep your composure. How could he stand there; so comfortably chill, no tears, no remorse. 

“Chris..” You could hardly speak, but managed to let his name fall from your lips. 

He let out a deep sigh, his hands still in his pockets, the distance between you two felt like a stab straight through your fragile heart. Your whole world felt like it was crashing around you and you felt suffocated. “I’m sorry.” He said simply, another sigh emitting from his lips. “I’m really so, sorry.” 

You shook your head again, your hands moving to cover your face as you began to cry into them, your body shaking as you allow yourself to fully cry into your hands. You didn’t care if you looked weak, or felt vulnerable in front of the man who stole your heart and then broke it in half. You knew things weren’t great lately, but you had no idea he was going to end things so abruptly. How could he give up on everything you two built so easily like this? Was he hurting like you were right now? 

You pulled your hands away from your face, your face stained with tears and painted red from the amount of crying you had done in a matter of minutes. He walked over you, trying to grab your hand, but you immediately swatted his hand away, your voice raising with anger and hurt filling your tone, “No. You don’t get to stand here and give up on us, and then try to hold my hand. Are you even hurting?”

He looked offended that you swatted his hand away, but took a step back from you to create distance again. “Of course I’m hurting Y/N! I’m trying to keep it together. You don’t think it’s been hard for me? I may look okay, but I’m not okay. This is hurting me too.”

You didn’t want to believe it. Any of it. Your heart was sinking more and more by the second and you didn’t know what to do. All you knew was that your heart was breaking and it was hard to breathe. 

Mr. Steal Your Girl, then make her cry

You said I'm the love of your life

“How could you just give up? Times are hard, but that’s why we work through it. You’re saying that you’re just giving up on everything that we built? I love you, Chris. You can’t just walk away.” Your voice was shaking, tears pouring down your cheeks as you choke back a sob. You place your arms around yourself for comfort, shaking your head as you look down at your shoes, unable to look at anything, especially not Chris.

“This is for the best, Y/N. I’m sorry. I’m really so sorry.” His voice was weak and you could tell he really was giving up on this, on you. 

After working so hard to steal your heart, here he stood with your heart in his hands, crushing it into a million pieces. You didn’t want to believe it, but you knew that you had to. You couldn’t beg for someone to stay in your life. If they really wanted to stay in your life, they would. You should never beg for someone to stay in your life, even if you so desperately don’t want them to go. Breakups are messy and hard, no matter if it was mutual, or if it was one-sided. Whether you were being cheated on, or just being left altogether, it still hurt nonetheless. 

“I just can’t believe this, Chris. After everything we’ve been through, you won’t even fight for us, for me?”

They do say the stages of grief experienced after a breakup are usually denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance and right now you were in the denial phase, but your heart was also breaking into a million little pieces. You sat onto your couch, unable to stand up anymore, shaking your head as you look down at your hands splayed in your lap, your body trembling as you choke back a sob.

Chris stood there by the doorway, moving one of his hands up to run his fingers through his tousled hair, a deep sigh emitting from his own lips. “I tried, I really did. I tried so hard and it’s only hurting both of us. You know that, I can see it all over your face and it kills me every single day.”

You pull your hands away from your face to look up at him from the couch, shaking your head in disbelief at his words, your blood beginning to boil with anger radiating through your system. “If you tried, you wouldn’t be breaking my heart right now. Fuck you, Chris. I tried too, and you can’t say that I didn’t. I tried to be everything that you wanted and look where it got me. I’m broken.”

Chris looked hurt by your words, like a stab to the chest. He sighed hard again, his fingers tugging onto his hair in slight frustration, moving his gaze to stare down at his own shoes. “I’m sorry. This is how it has to be. I’m broken, too.”

I'm combing through the braids of lies

"I'll never leave"

"Never mind"

You never thought that Chris would be the one to leave you, to give up on you and the relationship that you built together so beautifully. He was your first love, and your first heartbreak all in one and you weren’t sure how you were ever going to move past this. You knew that you shouldn’t have the negative thoughts creep into your brain like “Why wasn’t I good enough”,  “Will anyone ever love me”, “Am I not worth fighting for?”, and “Am I hard to love?”

You had to remind yourself that you did the best you could, that everything happens for a reason. It was easier said than done, but you couldn’t let this damage your soul and ruin your spirit for the rest of your life, even if right now you can’t possibly see a light at the end of the dark, scary tunnel that you were afraid you may never be able to get out of it. 

“This is how it has to be? It doesn’t, but okay.” You tried to take in a deep breath, but your chest was literally aching. It hurt so badly, the distance between the two of you, the tension, the pain. You couldn’t handle it anymore. “I think you should go, Chris.” You looked up at him through teary eyes, your vision blurred as you blink back tears. 

Chris looked heartbroken, his feet glued to the floor, his eyes finding yours, pain and sorrow filling his gaze. “Y/N I’m sorry I still l-”

You shake your head immediately, standing up from the couch to walk up to him, while still creating a distance between the two of you. You open up your front door and stand next to it, your body still shaking from the amount of emotions running through you. “No, don’t you dare say it. Chris, please. Just go.” You looked at him with pure pain in your eyes.

He let out a devastated sigh, feeling defeated and now speechless. He nodded his head and you swore you could see his eyes welling with tears, but it’s Chris. Chris never allows himself to cry, ever. 

You exchange one more glance, both of you hurting, broken into a million pieces. Everything you two built has been shattered around you and is now dust on the ground. 

He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek, his lips lingering there for a moment. Your eyes closed, tears streaming down your cheeks, taking in a shaky breath as your fingers gripped on your own sleeve to hold onto something, anything. 

A farewell, a goodbye. It’s not see you later, it’s not fight and make up scenario. No more you and Chris. This was it.

He pulled away from you, fluttering your eyes open to look at him with pain and heartbreak all over your face. No more words were shared, there was nothing else needed to be said. 

Chris walked out, didn’t look back and you couldn’t either. You closed your front door, immediately sinking down against it with your knees propped up to your chest and placing your hands against your face and instantly sobbed. 

You cried and cried until you couldn’t anymore. You couldn’t breathe, your body shaking as you tried to take in breaths to calm yourself down. 

Life wasn’t going to be the same. Chris was once your everything, your whole world. Now? You had to learn to live without him, to find yourself and learn to love yourself.

You’re strong, you’re resilient, you’re capable of so many amazing things and even though it’s hard right now, it’s not going to be this way forever. 

There is light at the end of the tunnel, there are brighter days ahead. You’re allowed to cry, to feel, to grieve. It’s okay to feel these things. 

Even if it doesn’t feel like everything is going to be okay, it will. You’re stronger than you think and you’re deserving of love and happiness. 

It’s going to be okay.

And I'll still see it until I die

You're the loss of my life

notes: sorry guys! i know this was heart wrenching. i haven't really wrote angst on here, so i thought i'd give it a try. if you have any requests, or if you just wanna chat, my inbox is always open!

taglist: @strangelife122 @rina3476 @chrissturnioloslvt @sturnslutz @sturns-mermaid @matthewsturnsgf @rinahasspots @222wall876 @chris-hallelujah @izzylovesmatt @strniloslvts @oopsiedaisydeer @sophand4n4 @xclusivedesires @mattsplaything @mattsbunnyxx @pair-of-pantaloons @chrissweetheart @slutformatt17 @sturnl0ve @pasteldreams @h3arts4harry @marrykisskilled @wh0remikasas @sturnzslut @camzeecorner @alesturniolos @emely9274 @2muchofaslvt @sturnslux3 @bowsandsturniolos @moustacherryismyhusband @rafesapprentice @ivysturnss @headzgonewest @il0vey0um0st @violetstxrniolo777 @bigbeefybitch @raesturns @courta13 @sofieeeeex @tylerthecreatorsglazr @kittyyyyykats @sturniszn @estellesdoll @freshsturnzx @ivyyyyyysposts @sturnberries @sturniolochrismatt @lovesturni0l0s

-nessa

[ghost-bison]

Do you think in 2012 Martha and Mickey were watching the Olympics on TV and they saw Ten carrying the Olympic flame? Do you think it hurt? Do you think Donna saw him too and Wilfred had to hold back from screaming in joy and that he excused himself to go shed a silent tear in the kitchen?

[holyblanchett]

Aubrey saying in the marvel bts footage that Rio can bloom flowers out of her hand at any time because she can control nature and she would only do that for Agatha. Makes the scene in episode 8 with Agatha planting Nicky's hair and a flower blooming from it hurt so much worse. I'm sending Jac and Marvel my therapy bills wtf.

[sophsun1]

Interview With The Vampire – 2.05: Don't Be Afraid, Just Start the Tape

[lostmf]

By @cvnfvse

[animatedjen]

When we were fighting Dagan, those... hallucinations. What were they for you? Our friends, suffering because they followed me. And I couldn't do anything to stop it.

[thebluestofblurs]

what if shadow was apart of the frontiers story? what if shadow had to watch as sonic slowly endured a painful cyber corruption? and what if seeing someone so full of life and energy suddenly start wearing down reminds him of a certain person he was supposed to take care of who suffered from a condition that put her into remission?

basically i should stop talking because the only words that come out are hurtful

[buckevantommy]

break up so they can make up BREAK UP ONLY SO THEY CAN MAKE UP AND BE STRONGER TOGETHER ON THE OTHER SIDE

[prettygirlslovecars]

“everybody moved on”

“help, i'm still at the restaurant”

[eldestdauqhter]

it was their first July 15th rain. it hasn’t stopped raining for him since

[sam-reid]

i'm glad so many people have cottoned on to lestat not acting like himself in the sneak peek of the trial.

he never wanted to return to paris because it holds nothing but terrible memories for him (nicki, his turning) and he's being paraded by the coven against his will. he initially goes to armand for help and for blood, to heal him after the events in new orleans, and instead he's locked away, left to starve and manipulated into bearing witness.

and he never blames claudia for it.

[themostdivinething]

when hozier said "the only heaven i'll be sent to is when i'm alone with you" and when halsey said "i know i've only felt religion when i've lied with you" and when sappho said "in the crooks of your body i find my religion" and then when rf kuang said "she's the only divine thing he ever believed in"

[moodyvoid]

“Izuku Midoriya, if Spinner is still alive tell him this: Tomura Shigaraki fought to destroy until the very end"

Deku says that he managed to destroy what he really needed to.

[lostmf]

[thatchaoticgod]

every time i get an awful migraine and have to take at least 2 painkillers i get closer to becoming House