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heyiwrotesomethings · 3 years ago

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Bedtime Stories

Penny (Stardew) x They/Them Reader

A/N: Woo! With this, I have completed a fic for all the Stardew Bachelorettes! Hope ya’ll are ready for Penny time! Word Count: 5,618

(Y/n) stretched their arms way above their head, reveling in the pulling of their back muscles and the dull crack of their spine. They had been out foraging all day and their pack was full of blackberries, mushrooms and nuts. A very good haul.

They shivered a bit as another breeze blew through. The skies had only gone dark about an hour ago, but (Y/n) was ready to call it a night and turn in to their warm and cozy farmhouse.

They walked up the dirt path past Marnie’s ranch to their farm, smiling when they saw the light of their house in the distance. The children must have been giving Penny a hard time tonight. Usually they’d be asleep before (Y/n) got home, but they could get restless on occasion.

As soon as (Y/n)’s boots thudded against the wooden stairs, they could hear excited cries from within, and soon a small head poked out from behind the front door before swinging it fully outward.

(Y/n) flung their arms out to catch the small body that flew into their legs, soon joined by a smaller, more clumsy one.

“You two are up rather late, you aren’t giving your mom a hard time, are you?” (Y/n) asked their children.

“Mommy said we could wait for you if we ate all our veggies at dinner so we did. We did good so we’ll grow up to be strong farmers like you!” The older of the two exclaimed.

“Oh yeah?” (Y/n) grinned.

“Yeah!” The younger child shrilled.

“Well, now that I’m here, it’s time for bed isn’t it?”

A duet of displeased noises met (Y/n)’s ears but they quickly devolved into giggles when the farmer attacked them with tickles. Once the children were disarmed, (Y/n) slung them over their shoulders and bounced them into the house, meeting the loving eyes their spouse gave them from the couch.

Penny sat in a pile of rumpled blankets no doubt put there by their rambunctious children. In her lap was a book of fairy tales that usually served her well when bedtime came around but tonight it seemed it was not enough.

“Hi, love. Welcome home.” Penny smiled sweetly, getting up to meet (Y/n) halfway. She hugged them around the middle before lightening their load by taking the smaller child off their hands.

“Hi sweetheart, how was your day?” The farmer asked, setting down their eldest child so they could remove their bag and boots.

“It went well. The children were so diligent with their studies. I was very impressed.” Penny said, making sure the kids were aware of how proud she was of their work.

“That’s great! I’m really proud of you two.” (Y/n) praised their children while they glowed with pride.

“So we can stay up late and watch tv?” The eldest asked hopefully, the parents merely laughed at the suggestion, making the children pout.

“Afraid not, sleep is very important and I think now would be a good time to hit the hay.” (Y/n) said, already trying to corral the kids into their bedroom.

“Not yet! We want a story at least!” The younger proclaimed, agreement was quickly voiced by their older sibling. Rarely it seemed they could come to a consensus so quickly.

“Oh? Well, I suppose one story wouldn’t hurt.” (Y/n) agreed. “Go brush your teeth first, please.”

The children toppled over each other, trying to get to the sink first so they could rush back to the living room.

“They have so much energy.” Penny remarked with a content sigh, leaning into (Y/n)’s side.

“No kidding,” (Y/n) chuckled, rubbing Penny’s arm, “I could have really used the extra help in my first year of living here. Now I’ve got auto-feeders and sprinklers. A little late for fall, but I suppose they could help with the spring planting, maybe that would slow them down a bit.”

“Shhh, it’ll be a long winter and I don’t need to hear, ‘is it spring yet?’, everyday before then.” Penny playfully warned.

“Your wish is my command.” (Y/n) nodded, pulling Penny down onto the couch to cuddle with her, making the teacher hum with delight and shyly steal a quick kiss.

A few minutes later, two bouncy young children crawled over their parents and wiggled into their sides and under the blankets with happy giggles.

“Alright kiddos, which one?” (Y/n) asked once they were all settled, patting the heavy book on their lap.

“We don’t want one of those stories tonight.” The eldest said.

“You don’t?” Penny blinked, confused by declaration.

“We want to know how you met each other and got married.” The eldest explained, the younger nodded along.

“It’s a long story kids.” (Y/n) said. They may have been trying to dissuade the children, but there really was a lot to cover. Seasons and seasons worth.

“What’s so long about it?” The younger child asked. “Didn’t you just know you liked each other so you got married?”

“People don’t get married right after they meet each other, honey.” Penny gently corrected.

(Y/n) definitely had a, ‘well, not usually anyway’, kind of look on their face but the warning look Penny gave them convinced (Y/n) to keep their mouth shut.

“Oh, I still wanna know though.”

“Me too!”

“(Y/n)...” Penny called upon her spouse.

“Okay, an abridged history, how ‘bout?” (Y/n) shrugged.

The children seemed content with that, once Penny explained to them what abridged meant, and looked to (Y/n) expectantly with shining eyes.

“Okay, it all started—“

“Once upon a time!” The youngest screeched, making everyone wince.

“Inside voices, dear.” Penny reminded.

“Sorry, but the story has to start with once upon a time.”

“It’s not a fairytale, you know.” The older said.

“It’s alright,” (Y/n) interjected with a grin, “it feels enough like one being married to such a sweet person.”

Penny turned away and blushed, a small bashful smile working the corners of her lips upward.

“Once upon a time...” (Y/n) began again, much to their youngest child’s delight.

***

“Oh my Yoba, this place is a mess.” (Y/n) groaned.

They had kept a brave face for Robin and Mayor Lewis, but now that they were gone, they voiced how overwhelmed they felt freely. They looked over the overgrown lot that was supposed to be the farm their grandfather had left for them.

“What if this was a mistake? Am I doing the right thing? I don’t want to crawl back to Joja but...” (Y/n) growled, thwacking the dirt hard with their hoe, “No! I just got here, I can’t quit yet.” They said, strengthening their resolve.

After a few hours of alternating between being proud with their progress and wanting to cry because there was so much left to do, (Y/n) decided they wanted to check out town. They just really needed to freshen up first.

To their dismay, but not surprisingly, the old farmhouse didn’t have indoor plumbing, but they didn’t worry because they knew there was a bathhouse in the mountains they could use.

“When I get paid, the first thing I’m gonna do is contract Robin to build a bathroom. I hope she’s as savvy with plumbing as she is with carpentry.” They mumbled to themself as they walked up the mountain path.

Entering the bathhouse, the space seemed void of life, the only sounds being the steady drip of water over the tiled floor. (Y/n) claimed a vacant locker and took a shower. After the day they had, it was the best shower they had ever had.

Once clean, (Y/n) decided they’d spoil themself and swim around in the heated pool for a bit before heading back to the farm. They put on their swimsuit and headed on in. Expecting to be alone, they hummed and sang as they made their way to the main room, enjoying the way their voice reverberated off of the walls and echoed back into their ears.

“Um, hello.”

“Wah!”

(Y/n) nearly slipped on the wet floor from the shock. A woman with vibrant, orange hair was sitting in one of the near corners of the pool. She seemed to shrink into herself under (Y/n)’s wide gaze.

“Oh wow,” (Y/n) laughed awkwardly, embarrassment flooding their tone, “I, uh, didn’t realize anyone else was here, sorry you had to hear that.”

“It’s alright,” the woman smiled albeit, a bit tightly it seemed. “I was thinking about getting out anyway.”

“You don’t have to leave!” (Y/n) fumbled with the towel in their hands, “I promise to be quiet and give you your space. It’ll be like I’m not even here.”

They skittered across the tiled floor and slid into the opposite side of the bath, giving the woman her space.

A few painfully awkward minutes passed. (Y/n) leaned over the pool edge and counted the nearby tiles, the bricks on the wall... anything to occupy them until the other occupant left or a non-suspicious amount of time passed and they could leave themself.

“Who... who are you?” The woman asked, finally breaking the silence.

(Y/n) craned their head to face her, eager to introduce themself and hopefully make a better impression.

“I’m (Y/n). I just moved in. I live at the old farmhouse just west of town so you’ll probably see me around from time to time.”

“Oh, I see,” the stiffness of the strangers shoulders seemed to lessen, “Well, I’m Penny. It’s nice to meet you.”

(Y/n) grinned brightly as they swam closer to Penny, all previous worries forgotten. “It’s nice to meet you too, Penny! I hope we will be great friends.” (Y/n) suddenly splashed the water beneath their hand as another thought popped into their mind. “Hey, do you have any favorite vegetables or fruits?”

“Um,” Penny shrunk back, a bit intimidated by the farmer’s sudden approach, “Oh, I don’t know...”

“Surely there’s something, don’t be shy.” (Y/n) encouraged.

“I, I like melon?” Penny more asked than told. Her back digging into the edge of the pool a bit uncomfortably.

“Melon,” (Y/n) nodded sagely, backing up a bit from Penny’s personal space. “Yeah, I could do that! You’ll have to wait for summer though, is that okay?”

“Wait?”

“Yeah, I can start planting melon in the summer. I’d do it sooner, but the seeds won’t take. I’ll be sure to give you the first one I harvest though!”

“You really don’t have to do that,” Penny waved her hands in front of her.

“I insist.” (Y/n) heaved themself out of the warm water, “Man, Penny, I have to thank you. You’ve inspired me to get back to work! I got to see if there’s anything else I can clean up around the farm before nightfall. I’ll see you around!”

“Okay, bye...” Penny watched them jog into the changing room, gasping when the farmer slipped on the tiles but continued on their merry way. She wasn’t sure what to make of the new addition to Pelican Town, but they seemed kind enough.

***

The next time Penny had seen (Y/n) was during one of her lessons with Vincent and Jas. She had been reading about the history of the valley when Vincent had waved excitedly at someone behind her back. Thinking it was just Sam or Jodi, Penny attempted to continue on with her lesson but she soon came to a stop when Vincent took to excitedly calling after the passerby.

“Hey, farmer! Good morning!” Vincent yelled.

“Really now Vincent,” Penny lightly scolded as she held her finger over the paragraph she had been reading, “you need to focus on the lesson.”

“Sorry Miss. Penny.” Vincent apologized. “But I see Farmer (Y/n). They’re so cool.”

“They’re probably busy—“

“Hi, Vincent! And a hello to you Jas and Penny.” A friendly voice cut in.

Penny looked up from her spot in the grass and watched (Y/n) approach, their arms full of daffodils.

“What’s going on here?” They asked once they were standing next to the group.

“School.” Vincent answered matter-of-factly. “Miss Penny is reading about history.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you were a teacher Penny. That’s really neat. I’m sorry for interrupting your lesson.” (Y/n) said, turning their attention to Penny.

“It’s alright, you didn’t know. I apologize if Vincent has distracted you from your own work.” Penny politely stated in kind.

“No worries, I’ve just been foraging around the valley. Leah posted a request for some dandelions but I couldn’t seem to find any today. I got a whole bunch of daffodils though. Would you three like to take some off my hands?”

“Wow, thanks!” Vincent quickly grabbed one before Penny could even think about declining.

Jas shyly took one for herself, still a little intimidated by the fresh face. She’d been growing a little more used to them though, thanks to Marnie’s encouragement.

“A flower, milady?” (Y/n) asked Penny again, sporting a warm smile that made the teacher feel like the heat of the day was starting to get to her.

“Thank you, this looks special.” She said, gently cupping the flower in her hands.

“You’re welcome. It’s no melon, but rest assured that summer will be upon us before you know it,” the farmer declared before spotting Willy in the distance. “Oh! Hey guys, I gotta go catch Willy to tell him about all the chubs I caught yesterday. It was good talking to you, see you all later!” They said before jogging off.

“Bye (Y/n)!” Vincent waved.

“Bye...” Penny and Jas said together, much more subdued than the young boy.

Penny watched (Y/n) until they disappeared into the saloon before turning back to her book. Her face tinged pink as she twirled her daffodil in one hand and picked up where she left off.

***

Summer rain pelted the metal of the trailer, thumping loudly with each drop, but Penny blocked it out easily as she read all cozy in her bed. Occasionally she would snap up a bit of freshly cut melon from the Tupperware resting on her nightstand and smile to herself.

(Y/n) had made good on their promise and had been pushing their fresh melons onto Penny since midsummer. Another sweet bite and Penny sighed pleasantly whilst marking her page with the daffodil (Y/n) had given her in the spring, now a dried and fragile makeshift bookmark.

The farmer was so warm, gentle. Better than anything her books could come up with and yet they somehow existed in her reality despite being too good to be true.

Since their somewhat uncomfortable origin, Penny could not have been more happy to have encountered them in the bathhouse that day. Even after getting to know each other better, even after (Y/n) had seen the messy state her mother kept the trailer in, they never treated her any differently.

“Penny,” the teacher jolted at the sudden knock and the rasp of her mother’s voice through the door, “I’m heading to the saloon. You want anything?”

“No thanks, mom.” Penny sighed. “I was thinking of making dinner myself tonight.”

“Alright honey. I’ll be back late.” Pam informed, her footsteps rocked the trailer slightly and the rickety front door closed loudly, signaling the older woman’s departure. At least now that the bus had been fixed (by who else but the resident hero farmer) her mother had less time to spend drinking.

Penny scooted out of bed and headed to the kitchenette and turned on the stove, putting a large pot on the flame. She had been trying to make something to give (Y/n) in thanks. Something for all the good they’ve been doing for the town and for treating her so kindly.

She began her experimental stew, pouring whatever she had on hand into the pot that she thought would taste good. She was so absorbed in her creation that she almost missed the knocking on the trailer door.

Penny turned off the heat and went to answer the door thinking it was probably just Vincent with another excuse why he couldn’t return his homework in time. She was surprised to see (Y/n) waiting outside.

“(Y/n), hello,” Penny greeted, beckoning the farmer out of the rain, “please come in, it’s pouring buckets out there. You must be soaked.”

“I’m okay, it’ll take more than a little rain to take me out.” (Y/n) smiled as they stepped into the trailer. “Hi Penny, hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Not at all. I was just cooking.” Penny bashfully admitted. So much for the surprise.

“Oh that’s cool. What’re you making?”

“Oh just some stew, I was actually hoping to give it to you,” Penny blushed, “for all the good you’ve done for the town.”

“Aw, that’s very sweet of you Penny. You didn’t have to do that.” (Y/n) said. They could feel their heart beat pick up in tempo at the gesture.

“I wanted to. Here, have a taste.” Penny presented a ladle full of soup to (Y/n), her blush grew warmer as the farmer leaned in close to take a taste before pulling themself to stand straight once more.

(Y/n)’s smile tightened the more they chewed, sweat dotted their forehead.

“Are you alright?” Penny asked, watching the farmer continue to chew.

“Mhmm.” (Y/n) squeaked, giving Penny a shaky thumbs up. Then they swallowed none too easily. “Wow,” they breathed, well, more like gasped, “that sure was something Penny. Thank you for sharing.”

“Is it really that bad?” Penny frowned, disappointed.

Immediately (Y/n) jumped into action, waving their arms, “It wasn’t bad at all! I was chewing so long because it tasted so good, I didn’t want it to end!”

Penny gave the farmer a doubtful look before looking down at the leftover stew in her ladle and raising it to her own lips.

“Wait, Penny—“

“Oh dear, that is vile...” Penny gagged. She hardly had so much as a sip before tossing the rest back into the pot. “I’m sorry, (Y/n). I should have tested it first...”

“Hey, it’s okay! You’re learning. It took me a lot of practice to learn how to cook too.” They assured. “If you want to come over sometime I could teach you a thing or two.”

“I wouldn’t want to interrupt. You’re always so busy...” Penny said, already contemplating how she was going to get rid of her hot, liquid garbage.

“You wouldn’t be interrupting anything. All I really need to do is water the crops and feed the chickens. I can take it easy every once in awhile. Besides, I’m always looking to spend time with you anyway so... yeah,” They rubbed the back of their neck.

“Really?”

“Yeah, so if you ever want to plan something... I’d really like that.”

“Okay.” Penny nodded, nervously fiddling with her hands. “I’d like that too. Very much.”

“Cool! Nice, yes.” (Y/n) practically sparkled at the affirmation. “When do you want to meet up?”

“Is Tuesday fine?”

“Tuesday is great! This is so exciting!” Just as the farmer pumped their fists over their head, a loud burst of thunder shook the trailer. “Wow, it’s a monster out there.”

“Yes, you should stay for awhile. At least until it calms down a bit... movie?” Penny suggested, gesturing to the little DVD player in the corner.

“That sounds like a great idea,” (Y/n) followed, their hand reaching into their bag, “I almost forgot I came to give you more melon!”

“You spoil me, really. How much melon do you think one girl can eat. I’m still working on the last one you gave me.” Penny giggled quietly.

“Fall will be here before long. Best to enjoy them while you still can.” They half-joked, sliding into the seat of the booth.

Penny slid into the seat beside them and popped open the DVD player. Maybe the melon season was coming to an end, but at least the farmer who planted them was here to stay.

***

By mid fall, Penny and (Y/n) were nearly inseparable. Any free time they had they usually spent together cooking in (Y/n)’s farmhouse, relaxing in the bathhouse or curling up with some books or other media.

The day was unusually warm for fall and Penny decided to treat Jas and Vincent to a picnic in the Cindersap Forest for all their hard work. While they ate and went through their lesson, Penny saw the farmer and waved them over without a second thought. She was simply thrilled to see them and thought their presence in the woods must have been fate.

“(Y/n), wonderful timing seeing you here. I was just teaching the children about natural resources. Could I trouble you to talk about how natural resources are involved in farming?” Penny asked once the farmer came up to them.

“Sure, I’d love to!” (Y/n) nodded.

Penny stared off dreamily at (Y/n)’s side as they explained what they knew about the valley’s resources while wondering how she could be so lucky as to know them. Once (Y/n) had explained a large amount of their process, Vincent raised his hand.

“Question, Vincent?” Penny asked, impressed that the boy seemed so invested in the lesson.

“Yeah, are you dating anyone Farmer (Y/n)?” Vincent asked.

“Uh, no. No I am not.” (Y/n) laughed, rubbing the back of their neck.

“Vincent!” Penny said, aghast.

“What?” The young boy questioned.

“You can’t just ask people stuff like that, Vincent.” Jas spoke up. “My auntie Marnie told me that when I asked her if Mayor Lewis was her boyfriend.”

(Y/n) and Penny gave each other an awkward side glance. After the incident with the bush, (Y/n) had to tell someone about it, and Penny had been the unfortunate mock therapist in that scenario.

“Ah, well, no harm done.” (Y/n) laughed. “Any questions related to the topic of natural resources?”

Penny observed how well (Y/n) got along with Jas and Vincent and thought they would make a wonderful parent. When the lesson had concluded and the children were playing by the river, Penny couldn’t help but ask (Y/n) if they had ever thought about having a family before.

“Every once in awhile I do. I think it would be nice. It would make the farm more lively at least.”

And with that admission, Penny couldn’t help but hope that one day, (Y/n) might see her as a suitable partner to share their life with.

***

Winter was, well, cold.

But Penny was glad for it because there were no crops (Y/n) needed to attend to and they were therefore, more available. They spent much more time together in winter than the previous seasons.

Today, Penny was heading to the farm for another cooking lesson from (Y/n). She was getting much better with the skill. She could even get her mother to spend more nights away from the saloon with the promise of a hot meal.

Penny stepped up onto the snowy porch and knocked her gloved hand against the wooden door. She could hear clattering from within the farmhouse and waited patiently for (Y/n) to usher her in.

“Penny, hi, glad you could make it!” (Y/n) grinned as they opened the door, guiding Penny in by the waist,

“Thank you for having me.” Penny flustered at the contact, despite her thick coat blocking the farmer’s touch. “What are we making today?”

“I thought some warm snickerdoodle cookies would be great on a cold day like this.” (Y/n) said.

“That does sound good.” Penny nodded as she hung up her coat and stepped out of her shoes. Then she followed (Y/n) to the kitchen and they got to baking.

Before long, the smell of cinnamon and sugary goodness permeated the space and the chill of the winter air outside was long forgotten. They were just getting ready to settle in with a movie when (Y/n) excused themself for a minute to go grab something from another room. It reminded Penny how small the farmhouse used to be before (Y/n) had commissioned Robin for a few projects.

Penny nervously eyed the bag she had left at the door. Was now a good time to bring out the bouquet? Penny had been silently agonizing over it all day. She had bought it from Pierre almost on impulse, she knew who she wanted to give it too, but what if (Y/n) saw her only as a friend and wasn’t looking for anything different? It was sure to make things weird between them.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

Penny jolted in her seat as (Y/n) reappeared, something held behind their back. She quickly assured (Y/n) that it was alright and motioned them over to the couch so they could start their movie.

“Wait, Penny, can I ask you something first?” The farmer asked, still standing in the stairway.

“Of course.” Penny nodded, concern seeping into her tone. “What is it? Is something wrong?”

“No! No, at least, I don’t think so. I just wanted to ask if you would want to... and you can always say no, you won’t hurt my feelings... okay, it might sting a little but I’ll get over it—“

“(Y/n), what is it?” Penny asked, standing up and walking over to the fumbling farmer. She had never seen them look so shaken.

The farmer seemed at a loss. Opening and closing their mouth until finally they just brought their hand out from behind their back and presented Penny with a bouquet of their own. The teacher gasped, her hands flying up to her mouth in elation and surprise.

Without saying anything Penny bounded over to the front door and opened her bag, producing her own bouquet and delighting (Y/n) to no end as she wrapped the farmer in a tight hug.

After hours of cuddling on the couch and half paying attention to their movie, Penny decided she had to get home, despite (Y/n)‘s offers to have her stay over. She needed to make sure her mom didn’t overdo it at the saloon.

A quick glance around the bar and she noted that Pam wasn’t there. She gave Gus a polite wave before heading home. Upon arriving, she found her mother already settling into the pullout for the night and their eyes met. Pam’s eyes drifted down to the bouquet secured in Penny’s arms and grunted.

“It’s about time.” Pam grumbled before turning over on the noisy mattress.

Penny could only smile at her mother’s gruffness before retiring to her room to quietly continue celebrating in her own space.

***

By the fall of the third year since (Y/n) had moved into town, the pair became a well established couple and it was just common knowledge to suspect if one was out and about, the other couldn’t be too far off since they were practically joined at the hip.

Some of the townies had expressed worry that the farmer was shrinking off too much of their duties but in reality, the farm was a well oiled machine now and required little maintenance. The farmer had worked themself to the point of passing out on their farmhouse floor on occasion to get to this point. Money was hardly an issue anymore for the farmer who, quite literally, built their legacy on five hundred gold and a handful of parsnip seeds.

“There you are,” Penny kissed (Y/n)’s cheek chastely as they plopped down next to her under her favorite tree, “where have you been?”

“Just needed to take care of something quick.” They said, leaning their head against Penny’s shoulder.

“And what would that be?”

“I was talking to Robin. She had a request up.”

“And what did she want?”

“You are full of questions today, sweetheart.” The farmer laughed.

“And you aren’t being as forthcoming with information as usual. Usually, I wouldn’t even have to ask before you tell me all about your adventures, big or small.” Penny pointed out, “I do believe you might be hiding something.”

“No way!” The farmer scoffed before slouching a bit more because of the look Penny gave them, “Okay, maybe I am hiding something, but it’s a surprise. Give it a few days.”

“Just what might you be up to, hm?” Penny smiled, cupping (Y/n)’s cheek.

“You’re a teacher,” (Y/n) laughed again, “you should know what surprise means.”

Penny sighed before laughing along with her partner. Then the couple went in about their day and before long, the thought of (Y/n)’s surprise left her mind and she had forgotten all about it by the time Jas and Vincent’s lessons were over for the day.

A couple days later, (Y/n) had invited Penny and Pam over for lunch. It wasn’t an unusual occurrence. One of the things Penny appreciated most about (Y/n) was their willingness to reach out to Pam and build a good relationship with her as well. However, what made this trip particularly extraordinary was what waited for them where their old, rundown trailer used to be.

“Oh, Yoba...” Pam breathed, a hand placed heavily over her heart as she stared up at the grand looking house.

“Robin, what is this?” Penny asked, nearly as breathless as her mother and just as overwhelmed.

“I got commissioned for a community upgrade,” the carpenter smiled, “I hope you guys like it!”

“This is too much... how can we�� who commissioned this?” Penny asked, running her fingers through her bangs.

“Anonymous donor,” Robin winked before making her way back up to the mountains, “enjoy the new house ladies.”

Penny hugged her mother while she cried and together they entered their new home, unsure how they could ever thank the donor enough. It didn’t take long for the mother daughter duo to figure out the identity of the commissioner. After all, there were only so many people who could pull off such a project and have the funds necessary to complete it.

“I’m going back to (Y/n)’s!” Penny called out. It felt weird having to actually throw her voice enough for her mother to hear her across their new house.

Pam managed a wave, still a bit overwhelmed by the vast space surrounding her.

Penny practically ran to the farm, the seashell pendant her father had gifted to her mother so long ago grasped tightly in her hand. Breathing heavily, she knocked on the door and waited for the farmer to appear.

“Hey Penny, did you forget a book or something? It must be good for you to run all the way over here for it.” They laughed, “come in, do you need some water—“

“I love you,” Penny declared, leaping into (Y/n)’s arms, “I can’t believe you did that for us.”

“Did what?” (Y/n) asked, looking a bit coy.

“You built my mom a house you wonderful busy body.” Penny said, smacking their shoulder.

“What? Did Robin tell? I asked her to keep it a secret.” (Y/n) pouted.

“(Y/n), it wouldn’t take a genius to figure out that you were behind that project,” Penny sighed, “I don’t know how to thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me for anything. I was happy to help get the ball rolling. I love you guys and you do so much for Jas and Vincent, you deserve it. Now,” (Y/n) shifted a bit uncomfortably, “what exactly is digging into my back right now?”

“Oh!” Penny pulled back a bit, but kept the pendant out of (Y/n)’s sight. “I’ve only dreamed of doing this until I met you, it’s never felt more real, tangible. Oh my, this is nerve wracking.” Penny blushed.

“Take your time dear, breathe.” (Y/n) regarded Penny with soft eyes, rubbing her back comfortingly.

“(Y/n),” Penny spoke after a moment of collecting herself, “will you marry me?”

Penny presented the pendant, her eyes struggling to look at the farmer directly, but when the farmer pulled her back into another tight embrace she melted into their arms like warm butter.

“Yes, I love you! Yes.” The farmer cheered, their voice muffled by Penny’s shoulder. The vibrations, and words that created them, made Penny giggle with delight.

They stumbled into the farmhouse to celebrate their engagement, basking in each other’s company.

“I almost feel bad.” Penny suddenly stated, curled up in (Y/n)’s arms.

“Hm? What for, sweetheart?” (Y/n) asked as they ran their fingers through Penny’s hair.

“Mom will be in that big house all by herself. I’ll still see her everyday though, it’s not like I’m moving to Zuzu City... the idea of not living with her after all this time just feels odd.”

“I can understand that. It’ll take some getting used to. Just think of how nice it’ll be though, when somewhere down the line, we send our kids to grandma’s house for visits.”

“That does sound really nice. I’m really looking forward to starting a family with you.”

“Me too.” (Y/n) said. Then they leaned in to kiss Penny’s nose with great care and affection.

***

“Then a couple days later, we were married in front of the whole town.” (Y/n) finished softly, looking fondly over at Penny.

“That’s a nice story,” the eldest child yawned, “I wanna stay at grandma’s house again soon.”

“Of course, sweetie. We’ll work something out soon.” Penny promised whilst adjusting the fast asleep younger sibling in her lap, “now, it’s time to go to bed.”

“Alright,” The older child sighed before yawning again. “Carry me.”

(Y/n) released an amused exhale before standing and hoisting their child into their arms. Penny followed suit with the other, tucking them into their beds and kissing them goodnight.

Together, (Y/n) and Penny retired to their own room, falling into bed with tired groans.

“Those kids can be handful sometimes.” (Y/n) said, smiling all the while.

“Yes, and I wouldn’t want it any other way,” Penny rolled over to peck the farmer on the lips, “love you, sleep well.”

“I love you too, sweet dreams. I can’t wait to do this all again tomorrow.”

“Neither can I.”

#stardew valley x reader #stardew valley oneshots #sv penny #sdv penny #stardew valley penny #penny x reader #sdv penny x reader #sv penny x reader

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osakaso5 · 5 years ago

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Toma Inumaru Endless Rabbit TV Part 2: The Future He Envisioned

Part 1 | Part 3

Toma Inumaru: We're here!

Haruka Isumi: ........ I'm gonna barf...

Minami Natsume: Are you alright, Isumi-san? Here, have some water.

Torao Mido: I knew we should've gotten a chauffeur.

Toma Inumaru: ...M-my bad, Haru. I didn't think you'd get sick.

Haruka Isumi: You drive too roughly, Toma...

Minami Natsume: Is this what you rented the car for..?

Toma Inumaru: Yeah, the autumn leaves! Now's the perfect season for them.

Toma Inumaru: I wanted to camp here with you guys and watch them!

Haruka Isumi: ...That's so childish...

Toma Inumaru: Don't be like that. Look, I bought some delicious meat. Let's start getting it ready after we've sat down and rested a little.

Torao Mido: Meat... Are you planning a barbecue or something?

Toma Inumaru: Yep! You can rent barbecue sets here. It tastes better outdoors, too!

Torao Mido: Okay, that's it. I'm calling my chef.

Minami Natsume: I agree with Mido-san. I wouldn't mind eating indoors, but out here...

Toma Inumaru: ...I thought you guys wanted to know more about me?

Minami Natsume & Torao Mido: Urk...

Haruka Isumi: ...Toma. Can we roast marshmallows?

Toma Inumaru: Yeah! I bought some, since I figured you'd like them.

Haruka Isumi: Awesome.

Haruka Isumi: ...We've already gone to an amusement park and a cat café together. We can't back out at this point.

Haruka Isumi: I had to sit through Toma's driving and everything...

Minami Natsume: ........ I suppose you're right. And the leaves do look lovely.

Torao Mido: True. It's a nice view. ...Toma, how do we barbecue by ourselves?

Toma Inumaru: You don't even know that much..!?

Toma Inumaru: ...Thanks. I just wanted to travel somewhere far with you guys.

Toma Inumaru: I felt like we'd become closer if we ate good food while looking at some nice scenery.

Torao Mido: Oh, so you want to be closer to us.

Toma Inumaru: O-of course I do!

Minami Natsume: I see, so you want to be closer to us.

Haruka Isumi: You wanna be closer to us, huh.

Toma Inumaru: Why are you putting so much emphasis there!?

Torao Mido: Haha. I guess we have no choice.

Minami Natsume: It's a good thing I brought my hair band.

Toma Inumaru: O-oh well... Alright, let's get ready to grill!

- - - -

Toma Inumaru: Here, this one's savory. Are you eating properly, Haru?

Haruka Isumi: I am...

Toma Inumaru: Mina, these veggies taste better if you let them fry a little longer, so don't touch them yet!

Minami Natsume: I see...

Toma Inumaru: Tora, this meat's at its best when it's cooked like this. C'mon, try it!

Torao Mido: S-sure...

Haruka, Minami, & Torao: .......

Haruka Isumi: He's a barbecue dictator...

Minami Natsume: I've been to ramen restaurants with strict rules before, but this is a bit much...

Torao Mido: Is this what barbecues are usually like?

Toma Inumaru: What's wrong? Did you guys want something else? I've got shrimp, squid, and other seafood here...

Haruka Isumi: ...Geeeeez..! Barbecues are supposed to be about having fun eating stuff you fried!

Haruka Isumi: You're just doing everything for us, Toma! Why aren't you eating anything?

Torao Mido: Oh, we thought one person had to watch the grill and make all the food.

Minami Natsume: I'm fairly certain only you thought that, Mido-san.

Minami Natsume: ...Eat something, Inumaru-san. We'll pull our weight, as well.

Toma Inumaru: ...Thanks. But I felt really happy watching you three eat!

Toma Inumaru: I wanna eat dinner with you guys again sometime.

Torao Mido: Haha. Don't talk like we're done yet. The night's still young.

Haruka Isumi: I wanna roast marshmallows, too!

Minami Natsume: You wanted us to have a barbecue together, didn't you?

Toma Inumaru: ...You guys...

Toma Inumaru: ...Thanks! Today's the best birthday present a guy could get!

End of Part 2.

#idolish7 #toma inumaru #endless #translation #zool #rabbit tv

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shadowcraftgrove · 5 years ago

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Plant growing from seeds for urban witches

Day 2/333

#333DaysofMagick

I’m gonna start this off with a warning that I am just a baby green witch with a little green thumb. This is my first year growing plants from seed all by myself.

Here is what I did to get started and also *try* to be cost friendly.

1. I looked at what plant hardiness zone I’m located in. This will let you know what plants you can and can’t grow as well as when times to plant and harvest. (this was a little heart breaking for me. I’m somewhere awkwardly between zone 4 and 3 but probably leaning towards 3).

2. I look at what plants grow well in containers. This was also pretty heart breaking, but ultimately you want what will make your plants thrive. Herbs: How to grow, use. and enjoy herbs from your own garden by Publications International, Ltd. is a book that I love to use, but always refer to your instructions on your seed packet or the guide that your seed vendor gives you.

Here are some herbs suited for container growth:

Aloe, Basil, Calendula, Catnip, Cayenne Pepper, Chives, Geranium, Ginger, Horsetail, Lavender, Lemon Balm, Marjoram, Oregano, Nastutium, Parsley, Peppermint, Rosemary, Rue, Sage, Summer Savory, Spearmint, Thyme.

Here are all of the other ones I’ve personally reasearched if they can container grow & I currently am growing. (this includes some flowers).

St. John’s Wort, Hyssop, Wormwood, Feverfew, Borage, Rue, Comfrey, Stinging Nettle, Dandelions, Milk Thistle, Morning Glories (pink variation), Morning Glories (blue variation), Mugwort, Shepherd’s Purse, Purple Basil, Echinacea, Horehound, Black Petunas, Chives, Plaintains, Sweet Peppers, Elderberries, pennyroyal, red clovers and sunflowers. (I haven’t planted the red clover or sunflowers cause I gotta wait till May).

Elderberries are typical shrubs--I got these seeds for free from my vendor and their seed life span is only a year so I’m growing them for family and friends that can have them transplanted in yards.

A lot of these plants can have deep roots, and so I understand that deep containers will be needed. I understand that $$$ is going to hurt a bit there.

3. Buying Seeds. Check MULTIPLE local stores and online to find the best prices and type of seed that I wanted. This part is fun, but I ended up with 29 different plants. Yeah I bit off more than I can chew, but I’m out of a job until further notice so I have time. :)

I ended up paying probably...60 dollars on seeds. Obviously, you could always start out with 3 or 4 plants. That would maybe be 10 dollars.

4. Containers, soil and storage. I could only dream for a proper seedling growing indoor greenhouse equippe with lights, but i’m not about dropping 200-400 dollars on that am I. I already owned this shoe rack (hence why one row is missing). But, i did actually order another rack because my cats are messing with the bottom 3 rows heavily.

I ordered the Mainstays 10_tier Narrow Shoe Rack off of walmart. It is only available in stores or online for about 25 dollars.

For the containers I bought Seedling Starter Trays, 720 Cells: (120 Trays; 6-Cells Per Tray), Plus 5 Plant Labels off of amazon.

I also bought some labels, because with this many seeds...yeah labels are good.

For soil, I used Jiffy Natural and Organic Seedling Starter Soil though a few of my plants did require more Peat moss, which I bought at a local nursery. I’m growing some edible herbs, flowers, and veggies so i wanted something well rounded and not geared towards one thing specific. All of the containers you see used two 12 Qt sized bags for 5 dollars each.

5. Lighting. This one was a lesson learner for me. So, I live in nowhere South Dakota and we have had only 4 days full sun in 4 weeks. Yup. Seedlings need 8-12 hours of full sun to grow properly. I’ve had to replant a few trays because they got pale, thin, and limped over and died overnight from lack of light. I bit the bullet and knew I was going all in this year and bought some full spectrum plant lights from amazon. There are soooo many options, I would pick ones that work best for you. I bought a total of two and they cost 35 dollars each. Yikes.

Increasing the lighting has made all the difference for many of the seeds. A lot of them require the seeds to be lightly scattered on the surface because they germinate with the sunlight.

6. Planting your seeds. This was the hardest for me to do tbh. I wasn’t sure how compact the soil should be, how wet, etc. I also had some plants that required more steps before planting so take note of that! For example, morning glories need either a nick to the shell or to be soaked overnight before planting because of how hard the seed coat is. My comfrey was planted in cells, and put in a ziploc bag for 1 month to stratify. Stratification is when the plants need a period of coldness to emulate winter to then germinate. I also had to do this with mugwort and elderberry.

Date to Plant by: Always read how many weeks before your regions last frost you can plant the seeds. I made a chart with the plants and the dates they should be planted. Sometimes they can be 3-4 weeks before last frost or 6-8. My regions last frost is May 1st at the latest.

Seed Depth: Pay attention to the depth of the seeds as well. Some required light soil and some require 1/2 inch and some just require to be loosely scattered.

Number of seeds per cell: Now the spacing and # of seeds per cell is still something I need to work on. Most instructions for seed packets tell you spacing for out doors or when the seedlings get big enough and need to be separated. They also don’t always tell you the rate of germination. A long time ago when i started planting seeds, I would either only place 1 seed per cell or a shite ton. Now if you do 1 seed, and the germination rate is 75%, there is a chance it may not survive. If you do 10 seeds per cell, the plants will have spacing issues and some may die or it will be a pain to separate later. I did 3-4 seeds per cell depending on the average germination rate of the seeds. My morning glories had a really high rate so I did 2 seeds for cell.

Soil tightness???: Early on, I used to press the soil in the containers and leave little to no air in the soil (oops). Now, how I prep my soil. I will pour the soil into a large bowl or container and pour in some water to moisten it but not soak it. I will stir it to break the large chunks apart with my hands and just pour them into each cell. Then I will take the container and tap it against the grow so that the soil will compact itself together, but it leaves space for air. Repeat.

Watering: I personally duel wield two spray bottles of water and go ham over the cells, but it leaves so much pain in my wrists. I don’t use a watering can because it can mispalce your lightly scattered seeds or drown your really small seedlings. I even tried watering bottom up. That’s when I would dip the container in a bowl of water or even my tub (haha don’t do that srsly) and the water would come up from the bottom to water the roots. This was a pain in the booty and made a mess for me... if it was outdoors...sure. I will just spray them twice a day heavily.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is all I know for now, yall. I’ll try to keep everyone here updated on the progress. I probably spent $250 total on everything, but i’m also growing a lot. (^_^#)

#witchcraft #green witch #urban witch #celtic wicca #333daysofmagick #witch herbs #herbs #growing herbs #indoor plants #isolation #celtic witch

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faierius · 7 years ago

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Have Your Cake and Eat It Too (IgNoct)

So the beautiful @eternallydaydreaming2015 sent me the request of “Compromises” with IgNoct as the pairing. I’ve never written them as a pair before, so this was fun to do. It kinda turned into something a little ridiculous. You can see where my train of thought started, and where it took an abrupt turn. But it was fun! I hope you enjoy it!! <3

Ignis let out a long-suffering sigh as he watched Noctis push aside each and every trace of plant matter on his dinner plate. It didn't seem to matter what he did, or how he cooked them, Noctis refused to eat his vegetables.

“Glaring at him probably won't change his mind,” teased Prompto, happily stuffing stewed Lucian tomatoes, caramelized onion, and pasta into his mouth.

“Unfortunately nothing else does, either,” sighed Ignis, adjusting his glasses.

“Maybe you should make a deal with him. Hold something he likes back until he eats them?” Gladio suggested, cleaning his plate.

“Yeah, I'm right here, guys. Just because I'm ignoring you, doesn't mean I'm deaf,” Noctis grumbled, slurping a long noodle into his mouth.

“I've tried that as well, Gladio. Noctis didn't even last a week before he came begging. Still never ate his veggies.”

Noctis' entire face flushed redder than the shunned tomatoes on his plate.

Prompto perked up, curious for any stories about his best friend. “What did you take away from him?”

The corner of Ignis' mouth quirked. “His favorite dessert.”

Noctis choked on his food.

“But he still didn't eat any vegetables?” Prompto asked as Gladio snorted.

“No, he didn't. But that was partially my fault; I couldn't say no to those sad puppy eyes.”

Prompto threw his head back and groaned. “Ugh! I know, right? Even the King couldn't say no to that expression.”

Ignis swallowed the sudden flood of saliva in his mouth. It had been too long since he last had those expressive midnight eyes peering up at him through tear-rimed lashes.

Clearing his throat, he shook his head and pulled his attention away from Noctis.

“It didn't work the first time, so don't even think about doing it again,” Noctis grumbled, finishing off his own meal.

“Wouldn't dream of it, Highness,” Ignis chuckled. “Now, shall we tidy up and get to bed? We've a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

Noctis eyed Ignis suspiciously as Gladio vibrated with restrained laughter and Prompto happily ate his dinner. Ignis rose from his chair and crossed to Noctis to take his plate. His fingers grazed over Noctis' and he smirked at the man, his eyes obscured by a glare on the lenses of his glasses. The prince flushed red.

Taking away his dish, Ignis moved to Gladio.

“Want me and Prompto to clear out?” Gladio whispered, handing over his plate.

“Not necessary, but thank you.”

“Really? Even after that look you gave him?” snorted the big man.

“I prefer to be indoors where I won't be eaten alive by insects. I plan on spending my evening devising a plan.”

“For what?”

“To make Noctis eat his vegetables,” Ignis grumbled, eyeing the leftovers on the plate/

“You're still on that? I'd have given up by now. The kid's stubborn.”

“Ah, but so am I.”

***

Ignis' plan wasn't the most elegant, but it would serve his purpose. He was ashamed to admit it had taken him the better part of a day to come up with it and more ashamed by his method to carry it to fruition. His was a plan that required cunning, a touch of privacy, and hope he could distract Noctis well enough his taste buds wouldn't pick up on his trickery.

Earlier in the day, he had spoken with Gladio and set up the first half of his plan. Ignis would stay behind in the hotel under the guise of meal preparation for the group. Though that wasn't entirely incorrect, as he was going to be cooking up something special for Noctis. While he was busy with this, Gladio would spend the day entertaining the prince and Prompto. He never asked with what, and frankly, he didn't care all that much. Around dinner time, Gladio would make some excuse to Noctis, dropping him back at the hotel while he took Prompto out for a private evening. Gladio was more than willing to go along with the plan, as it gave him an excuse to spend time with his little chocobo.

Putting the finishing touches on his dish, Ignis set it out on the table in the main space of the room. He turned the plate so it was centered perfectly before standing up and resting his hands on his hips. With that complete, he now had to prepare himself. Noctis would be back in twenty minutes, but that was more than enough time. After all, it didn't take long to remove one's clothes.

Ignis just finished tying the sash of his apron when the door to the room opened and Noctis trudged inside, head down.

“Have a pleasant day, Highness?”

“If you call third-wheeling ple—holy crap.”

Ignis lifted a brow as Noctis' eyes roamed over him. He felt ridiculous standing here in nothing but his plain gray apron, underwear, and socks. Noctis preferred him nude beneath the apron, but he refused.

“W-wh-w-w-what's the occasion?” Noctis stuttered, swallowing hard.

“Do I need one?”

Shaking his head, Noctis shed his jacket and shoes. “But you baking and presenting it like this is a little...uh, suspicious?”

“Nonsense.” Ignis dismissed the man's concern with a wave of his hand as he bent down to slice into his immaculate dessert.

Easing himself into one of the armchairs, Noctis licked his lips. “What's so special about this cake that you decided to serve it up doing the apron thing?”

“It's merely a variation of my spice cake. The apron thing is simply for your viewing pleasure. However, if you continue to question my motives, I can always put my clothing back on,” Ignis told the prince as he handed over a large slice of cake.

Noctis took the dessert, eyes widening in a panic. “No! No, please don't. It's been a while, I just—thank you.”

The shy glimmer of excitement in Noctis' eyes made a little knot of guilt form in Ignis' gut. Everything he was doing was with the sheer intention of getting some vegetation into Noctis.

“What do you think, Highness?”

“It's good. Really good. Why don't you make this more often?” Noctis asked, licking frosting off his lips.

“It's very rich with the cream cheese frosting, but I suppose I can work it into the usual repertoire.” Perching on the arm of Noctis' chair, Ignis ran his fingers through thick black locks affectionately. He watched as the younger man practically inhaled the slice of cake, then turned to look up at him.

“That was amazing, Iggy. I think I need to work up an appetite and have another piece.”

“And how do you plan to do that?” chuckled Ignis.

Noctis twisted in his seat and tugged at the sash of Ignis' apron. “You know exactly how. But first, I'm gonna start with a palate cleanser.” Sliding his hand up Ignis' thigh, Noctis slipped his fingers into the leg of the man's Heather-gray boxer briefs.

“Impatient, aren't we?”

“C'mon, Ignis. It's been weeks!” whined Noctis, his fingers finding their prize.

Chuckling to himself, Ignis stooped over, tilting Noctis' chin up as he did. He pressed his lips against the man's, savoring the way the lingering sweetness of the cake mixed with a taste that was solely Noctis. “Shall we take this to the bed? I'll gladly let you have your fill.”

Gently dragging his teeth over his bottom lip, Noctis nodded and let Ignis pull him toward the bed.

***

Midnight was fast approaching when Gladio and Prompto showed their faces at long last. Gladio wore a satisfied smirk on his face, and Prompto sported a deep blush to match the hickeys on his jaw line.

“Ah, welcome back,” Ignis greeted as he set out plates and divided up portions of cake. “Have an enjoyable evening?”

“I did. How 'bout you?” Gladio glanced over his shoulder at Prompto, who nodded enthusiastically. “You guys?”

“I believe it was successful,” replied Ignis, glancing at Noctis. The prince sat up on the bed when Prompto joined him. Both the younger men had a pleased pink glow in their cheeks and moved like their limbs were filled with lead.

“So your carrot cake turned out well? And he actually ate it?”

Looking more alert than he had in two hours, Noctis turned his attention toward Ignis. “Carrot...cake?”

“Oh, you never told him, did you?” Gladio handed a slice over to Prompto, then dug into his own. “How did you not notice? There's orange flecks through the whole thing.”

“You are not helping, Gladiolus.”

“You made me eat carrots?”

“To be fair, buddy, you can't even taste 'em past the sweetness,” Prompto said around a mouthful.

“Ignis, you know how much I hate carrots! Is that why you did the apron thing?” Blue eyes narrowed dangerously. Prompto and Gladio raised curious eyebrows. Ignis lowered his head to hide his shame.

“It was the only compromise I could think of. You enjoyed the cake, did you not?” Crossing his arms, Ignis shifted his weight to one leg.

Noctis glared up at Ignis.

Prompto's eyes darted between his friends. “What's the apron thing?”

“I'm sharing the bed with Prompto tonight,” Noctis huffed.

Gladio roared with laughter while Ignis sighed heavily.

“Seriously...what's the apron thing?”

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fishermariawo · 6 years ago

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Intermittent Fasting (and Feasting) At the Holidays: 6 Ways to Do It

The holiday season is notorious for unwanted weight gain. Although the average weight gain isn’t all that high—1 to 2 pounds—the real danger is that people rarely lose the weight they gain during the holiday season. So, if you go through ten holiday seasons, you’re looking at a very realistic and permanent gain of 20 pounds.

But it’s not just the weight you gain. Even if you manage to avoid gaining any weight, the onslaught of sugary foods you’re not used to consuming will play havoc with your blood sugar and insulin levels, leave you bloated and fatigued, and generally make what should be a joyous time a sluggish, low-energy one.

Imagine having your full measure of energy over the full holiday season. Imagine putting on a Santa suit and clambering around on the roof and shimmying down the chimney, giving your kids a real show. (Not recommending this literally of course.) Imagine enjoying the winter weather, rather than holing up indoors with a box of cookies waiting for it to pass.

One thing I like to do in suboptimal food conditions is use it as an opportunity to fast. If I’m traveling and my choices are airplane food or McDonald’s, I simply don’t eat. If I’m at a hotel where the idea of a complimentary breakfast bar consists of bagels, orange juice, and those tiny boxes of cereal, I don’t eat. Quite honestly, the holiday season is one big block of suboptimal food conditions.

Sure, it’s delicious. Sure, some of it is even nutritious, if we’re talking roasts and gravies and veggies and large crispy birds. But the quantity of food we consume and the frequency at which we consume it—combined with the prevalence of delicious treats and the “emotional” context—makes for an impossible situation. It really is the perfect scenario to pack on some mass—or the perfect opportunity to employ an intermittent fast.

How should you do it? Are there any tips, tricks, or strategies particular to the holidays that make fasting easier and more effective?

Skip Breakfast

Breakfast around the holidays can get quite ridiculous. How many of you have done this or know someone who has done this: having pumpkin pie/a half tin of Danish butter cookies/big bowl of mashed potatoes for breakfast? Even if no one is digging into the leftovers (although a turkey leg is a nice way to begin the day), you’ll see the likes of pastries, quiches (heavy on the crust), bagel spreads, pancakes, and waffles, etc.

So, just skip it, particularly when treats abound and beckon. You’ll avoid the problem entirely, give your digestive system a rest, keep the fat-burning going, and make any subsequent feasting later in the day more rewarding and less damaging. Have some coffee and cream instead. Heck, you could even whip the cream if you want to feel like you’re having a “treat” with everyone else.

Don’t Snack

Snacking kills during the holidays. While in more normal times I recommend against constant or absentminded snacking, at least then it usually just means a handful of nuts, a few pieces of jerky, a cup of broth. During the holidays, snacking means candy, cookies, and pie. There are mountains of junk almost everywhere you go and dozens of evangelists scurrying around foisting it on you. I don’t see it because I move in a curated culinary environment at my places of residence and work, but back before I went Primal, I can remember the ubiquity of treats during the holidays. If you’re the snacking type, you’ll likely make some bad choices.

Simply “not snacking” doesn’t sound like much of a fast, but going those 4-5 hours between meals can allow you to slip into a mild “fasted” state multiple times per day.

Don’t Nibble As You Cook

Whoever’s in charge of cooking the myriad holiday feasts and meals needs to understand how to handle themselves behind the stove. Quality control is one thing. Checking how things taste is understandable and necessary. But that’s not what gets you into trouble. What gets you into trouble is the constant nibbling and gnawing and chomping throughout the cooking process.

Spoonful of gravy here. Handful of mashed potatoes there. Oh, how’d that turkey skin turn out? Gonna have to try that. Oh, I wonder how it tastes dipped in the gravy. Boy, that dark meat sure is looking nice. Hmm, does the breast look a little dry to you? I’m going to try it. Now with some gravy and cranberry sauce—yeah, that does the trick.

By the time dinner is served you’re 800 calories deep, and you’re not even very excited about eating more (but you still do). Imagine if you’d fasted during the 4-5 hours you were preparing dinner. Not only would dinner be more satisfying and taste better, you wouldn’t have spent 4-5 hours in “fed mode.” Rally others to do the sampling. It’s never too hard to find takers.

Make Fasting a Tradition

Our success as a civilization rests upon our traditions. Heck, the Primal Blueprint is about respecting the oldest human traditions around, the “informal” and natural ones established by hundreds of thousands of years of hominid evolution. And yes, specific traditions can become outdated or run counter to currently accepted modes of thought and behavior, but the idea of tradition—a foundational behavior whose utility and importance has been tested through time—remains essential.

If you don’t have any traditions of your own, if they’ve been lost or ground down to pathetic shadows of their former selves, what do you do? You make your own. Fasting is a good choice, and it’s one that many other populations and cultures have performed. Pick a time frame—maybe a single 24-hour fast every Saturday, or “fast before each big holiday feast,” or “skip breakfast the week before each major holiday”—and suggest to everyone that the entire family get on board.

Do Leangains Style Fasted Training

Skip breakfast. Train around midday, lifting hard and heavy. After training, break the fast. Eat your last meal by 7 or 8 P.M. Aim for a 16-hour fasting period and an 8-hour eating window. Fast every day, train every 2-3 days. There’s even a book if you want more details.

This intensive method of fasting and training allows you a little more leeway with the food choices when you do eat. Much of what you eat will go toward repairing and rebuilding what you’ve broken down during training, and the everyday fasted periods will help you minimize fat gain. It can be quite intense, and people may have disparate responses to the rigidity of the schedule. If hard boundaries work well for you, if you like establishing rules and then sticking to them, this is the holiday fasting method for you. If you’re more fluid and balk at hard lines, you may have trouble. Women may have more success using 12-14 fasting windows.

Pair Your Dietary Transgressions With Fasts.

Are you the type to really go all out during Thanksgiving—dropping the Primal guidelines and just going for it? Mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, cranberry sauce, that weird sweet potato dish with marshmallows on top, pumpkin pie, the works? A one- or two-day fast right before or after the meal can mitigate the damage of the meal.

Even if there’s not much of a physiological benefit other than reducing your calorie intake to balance the overindulgence, the psychological boost we get from not eating will stave off the potential guilt of abandoning the Primal guidelines. I don’t support guilting or shaming ourselves because of what we eat, but I know it does happen. This can be a powerful antidote.

Whatever You Choose, Stick To a Schedule.

Once you figure out which fasting plan seems to work for your holiday situation, stick with it. Skip meals if you like, but try to eat at roughly the same time each day. This conditions your body to expect food (and get hungry at the right time, not before), and it improves the metabolic response to eating.

This applies whether you’re fasting in the morning or at night. In one recent study, the authors actually tested the effect of breaking your eating habits by separating overweight women into habitual breakfast skippers and habitual breakfast eaters and then having them either skip breakfast or eat breakfast.

Habitual breakfast eaters who skipped breakfast experienced way more hunger at lunch, had worse blood lipids, and higher insulin levels. They had worse blood lipids and their insulin skyrocketed. Habitual breakfast skippers who skipped breakfast experienced none of these deleterious effects.

Meanwhile, habitual breakfast eaters who ate breakfast were more satiated at lunch. They had better blood lipids and normal insulin levels. Habitual breakfast skippers who ate breakfast were still hungry at lunch. Eating breakfast didn’t inhibit their regular lunch-time appetites.

Regular eating schedules also improve insulin sensitivity, increase energy expenditure, improve fasting lipids, and result in the best metabolic effects.

Fasting isn’t a magic bullet. IF won’t fix all your metabolic issues and counteract every cookie, cake, and slice of pie you eat during the holidays. But it is a strong bulwark against the worst of the holiday excesses.

Are you going to fast this holiday season? Have you used IF in the past? What do you do to get through the holiday season without unwanted weight gain?

Thanks for reading, everyone. Take care!

References:

Yanovski JA, Yanovski SZ, Sovik KN, Nguyen TT, O’Neil PM, Sebring NG. A prospective study of holiday weight gain. N Engl J Med. 2000;342(12):861-7.

Thomas EA, Higgins J, Bessesen DH, Mcnair B, Cornier MA. Usual breakfast eating habits affect response to breakfast skipping in overweight women. Obesity (Silver Spring). 2015;23(4):750-9.

Farshchi HR, Taylor MA, Macdonald IA. Beneficial metabolic effects of regular meal frequency on dietary thermogenesis, insulin sensitivity, and fasting lipid profiles in healthy obese women. Am J Clin Nutr. 2005;81(1):16-24.

Pot GK, Almoosawi S, Stephen AM. Meal irregularity and cardiometabolic consequences: results from observational and intervention studies. Proc Nutr Soc. 2016;75(4):475-486.

The post Intermittent Fasting (and Feasting) At the Holidays: 6 Ways to Do It appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.

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watsonrodriquezie · 6 years ago

Text

Intermittent Fasting (and Feasting) At the Holidays: 6 Ways to Do It

How should you do it? Are there any tips, tricks, or strategies particular to the holidays that make fasting easier and more effective?

Skip Breakfast

Don’t Snack

Simply “not snacking” doesn’t sound like much of a fast, but going those 4-5 hours between meals can allow you to slip into a mild “fasted” state multiple times per day.

Don’t Nibble As You Cook

Make Fasting a Tradition

Do Leangains Style Fasted Training

Pair Your Dietary Transgressions With Fasts.

Whatever You Choose, Stick To a Schedule.

Regular eating schedules also improve insulin sensitivity, increase energy expenditure, improve fasting lipids, and result in the best metabolic effects.

Are you going to fast this holiday season? Have you used IF in the past? What do you do to get through the holiday season without unwanted weight gain?

Thanks for reading, everyone. Take care!

References:

Yanovski JA, Yanovski SZ, Sovik KN, Nguyen TT, O’Neil PM, Sebring NG. A prospective study of holiday weight gain. N Engl J Med. 2000;342(12):861-7.

Thomas EA, Higgins J, Bessesen DH, Mcnair B, Cornier MA. Usual breakfast eating habits affect response to breakfast skipping in overweight women. Obesity (Silver Spring). 2015;23(4):750-9.

Pot GK, Almoosawi S, Stephen AM. Meal irregularity and cardiometabolic consequences: results from observational and intervention studies. Proc Nutr Soc. 2016;75(4):475-486.

The post Intermittent Fasting (and Feasting) At the Holidays: 6 Ways to Do It appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.

0 notes