#i am going to say the l word
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I'm once again thinking about Bruce being a cuddle magnet for his kids and how Jason abstains from a love he doesn't think think he's worthy of anymore and too afraid to be denied to even try. And bruce knows. He knows Jason because he knows himself. So he let's Jason come to him. Again. It's like they're both little again, both unsure, both unsteady. But then they hug, -- or Jason will say " STOP hogging him, demon baby," and hold bruce in a headlock, while Damian snarls. And bruce will feel like bruce, even for a second
#bruce wayne#jason todd#batfam#bruce wayne is a good parent#BRUCE IS SO. CUDDLY TO ME#also battinson with arkham's knight jason PLUS gotham knight jason. why cant he have one jaybaby hes taller than?!?!#btw i am not. saying no to those versions headcanons. honestly battle for the cowl but its just multiverse batkids fighting over bruce#while he says pls no!!! i heart you all. 'heart?' 'yeah he cant really say the l word? its a thing. anyway go back to where you came from#' dick vs ric#lets go :)
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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)
but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.
the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore
#talkys#my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading#to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want#to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing#never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it#nothing seems very worth it#im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true#well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's#moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai#delete later#even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions#my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years#and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came#im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that#<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave#and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever#and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l
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how many times do we need to learn as people that irony and hyperbole can be harmful because 'jokes' aren't easily distinguished from genuine thoughts and feelings until we stop rewarding people for speaking or posting about violence
like even if you're joking/don't actually believe that/think whoever you are insulting is bad/immoral/fictional therefore deserves it - ad hominem attacks always do more harm to the people who share those characteristic then the individual you intend to cause harm to or discredit
#discourse#long post#its genuinely erased so much of my enjoyment of 911blr knowing i have to check accounts or risk seeing bullying/hate#l like its an odd feeling to know that so many people in the same fandom as you actively hold hate or find hate funny against your communit#like tired of people saying others are too sensitive because we dont want to hear or see a person say they want to hurt themself or others#like sorry i put in the work everyday to not let my mental health backslide and to enjoying being alive and accept my queerness#while others seemingly have not#and i know the content i post/share is not all in the same circles as that certain blog and i hate that it still grinds my gears but#its so frustrating to see the cruel glee people have#saying things they would never say to anyone's face irl and only to other blindly devoted/similar bullies#like do these people realise that they are on a razor's edge between 'ironic jokes' and just outright bigotry and threats - like do they#literally the only thing seperating That and conservative bigots is that the bigots are honest about their hatred towards minorities#like a lot of people in the fandom seemingly still need to deal with a lot of intenalised homophobia/racism and just outright hate-#especially regarding queer men and men of colour#because i can not be emphasise enough#It is NOT GOOD OR HEALTHY to be a fully grown adult that actively derives joy from the idea of enacting hate crimes#like you can hate tommy you can want him off the show even want him to die like weird but go off#but its such a next step to unprompted talk about [a character i dislike/hate/dont ship/disrupts my fanon endgame] in derogatory ways -#with rhetoric that straight up is out of terf/rel. right/homophobic/racists bigots and evokes violent hate-crimes......#well i feel sorry for those people cause what a miserable life to spend so much of it unable to enjoy your own life that you target others#anyways I know this is too long but I'm just a very tired man who has studied history and education and working with kids i have seen it -#too many times- harmful words coming from harmful environments or creating harmful actions and thereby perpetuating the cycle of violence#also not super relavent but as Latino Australian i am genuinely appauled at how many people have in their bio they are also Australian-#while actively liking/reblogging and engaging with post that find homophobic violence a funny haha joke - as if activist in our country -#aren't actively trying to dismantle homophobic and transphobic laws regarding issues like conversion therapy#like I know professors that actively got fired for being gay while teaching in religious education context - and its still happening!#so for people to forget so quickly what progress has been made and how much it took and how easy it is to loose - disappointing#(and its the same people who wanna pretend mardi gras is nothing but a party as if 78rs didn't risk their jobs/safety/lives)
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what they don't tell you about ""starting a new ao3 tag"" is that starting a ship or character tag in an existing, strongly established fandom and starting a new tag in a completely unexplored fandom (no fic, no tumblr presence, no nothing) are two WILDLY different undertakings. mentally and emotionally. where do you even fucking start. maybe definitely this was a terrible thing to pick to get back into fic writing for.
#i am drowing there is no land in sight. or whatever they say#like yes i was early to blewis & to l/o/l but dear god. this is like a sandbox but it is the size of the continental united states.#i have to go searching. wandering the desert for 40 days and 40 nights just to write a single fic under 3k words skjdskjd#ASTERISK AND ITS RLY FUN BUT ITS ALSO AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!#fic talk
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Chat, what are the thoughts on Lando's statement about texting with Max and sorting this out
#F1#formula 1#max verstappen#I don't like it tbh#It feels as though he got a sit down by McLaren PR because damage control#And just the way he phrased things by saying we for everything doesn't sit right with me#Max isn't the one who made childish comments and threatened to end a friendship over on track incident#So when it comes to taking accountability why is it 'we' ?#Also the part about this being his first few wins so it is much more different for him than Max doesn't sit right with me either#I can empathise with the hunger for wanting more but the doesn't mean Max is going to let you win#He has taken every win as if it's is first and that is why he is already in the list of the legends at just 26#Honestly speaking this feels as though an attempt to salvage things by McLaren once they realised 'poor Lando' angle and social media strat#gy wasn't working out as intended#RBR has simply chosen to not say much and even the majority of fans do agree on Max and Norris sharing the fault but Norris WAS childish#on how he handled it#It still feels really insincere idk#I will eat my own words if he manages to handle a L like this gracefully in the future though#anyways ver-lec-pia podium this week#I am calling it right now
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I really don't want to make another political post because a few of the other ones blew up and I felt like I was getting an ulcer, but I just want to say please please please don't idolize people on here or on twitter. no matter how many social justice buzz words they throw at you please remember they could be absolutely anyone. just because someone acts confident does not mean they have ANY idea what they're doing.
#I think the fact that starbucks#(a company that is not and has never been on the BDS boycott list because they don't actually have any direct connection to isre*l)#is THE figurehead of the twitter BDS boycott movement#should tell you that social media is not a reliable place to be getting your information from#and never ever feel bad about questioning someone or asking them to explain themselves#(I mean as long as they are positioning themselves as some sort of authority on a topic or trying to convince you to do something)#if someone tells you 'the answer should be obvious'#that usually means they don't actually know the answer themselves#or they are intentionally trying to manipulate you#and remember it is always ok to just admit you don't know something#oh and of course the above includes me too#I am going to make mistakes#and as much as I try not to I am going to accidentally reblog misinformation or say the wrong thing or take a stranger's word for something#<- which is why making posts like this stresses me out but#idk just a reminder
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Actually going crazy over the fact that the word limit is 500 words
#i need like 2700#i have so much to say#so little space#h e l p#how am i supposed to talk about persephone in under 500 words????#shes got so much going on 😭😭#hush lils
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TAG DROP PART 1
#₊ ⊹ Gwen Stacy ❙ ❝Fight for what matters to you no matter what. ❝#₊ ⊹ Peter Parker ❙ ❝I made a choice. This is my path❝#₊ ⊹ Yelena Belova ❙ ❝The truth rarely makes sense when you omit key details ❝#₊ ⊹ Kate Bishop ❙ ❝Some people have actually called the world’s greatest archer ❝#₊ ⊹ Harley Quinn ❙ ❝ Treat me like a game and I’ll show you how it’s played❝#₊ ⊹ Mia Queen ❙ ❝ I'm a warrior I fight for my life❝#₊ ⊹ Katniss Everdeen ❙ ❝ fire burns brighter in the dark ❝#₊ ⊹ Malia Tate ❙ ❝I won’t judge❝#₊ ⊹ Allison Argent ❙ ❝I was born with silver between my teeth.❝#₊ ⊹ Emma Swan ❙ ❝ you want people to look at you differently make them!❝#₊ ⊹ Hope Swan-Jones ❙ ❝I am really bad at words I hope you’re good at reading eyes❝#₊ ⊹ Tinker Bell ❙ ❝The question isn’t who’s going to let me… It’s who’s going to stop me!❝#₊ ⊹ Katherine Pierce ❙ ❝ Humanity is a vampires greatest weakness ❝#₊ ⊹ Caroline Forbes ❙ ❝If you want something done right you have to do it yourself❝#₊ ⊹ Luna Mikaelson ❙ ❝I can take care of myself ❝#₊ ⊹ Davina Claire ❙ ❝I can give you a list of people who've underestimated me. ❝#₊ ⊹ Rebekah Mikaelson ❙ ❝ Kill the demon today face the Devil tomorrow. Count me in. ❝#₊ ⊹ Lizzie Saltzman ❙ ❝ I am getting back to me. I am who I am ❝#₊ ⊹ Hermione Granger ❙ ❝I’m hoping to do some good in the world!❝#₊ ⊹ Ginny Weasley ❙ ❝Anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve.❝#₊ ⊹ Lily Merchant ❙ ❝All I want to do is make him proud.❝#₊ ⊹ Victoire Weasley ❙ ❝As beautiful as the bright moon.❝#₊ ⊹ Lily L Potter ❙ ❝Wandering around aimlessly in the dark.❝#₊ ⊹ Bree Tanner ❙ ❝Rushing into things blind isn’t going to help us win.❝#₊ ⊹ Alison DiLaurentis ❙ ❝Sometimes lies are more interesting than the truth❝#₊ ⊹ Aria Montgomery ❙ ❝When you love someone it’s worth fighting for no matter what the odds ❝#₊ ⊹ Max Mayfield ❙ ❝Be running up that hill❝#₊ ⊹ Nancy Wheeler ❙ ❝Ask for forgiveness not permission❝#₊ ⊹ Mary Stuart ❙ ❝I am Mary Queen of Scots and I have come for my throne. ❝#₊ ⊹ Kenna Livingston ❙ ❝So I say to hell with what people think.❝
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the truth is i actually get so insanely jealous
#not even ab christmas gifts and stuff its likr#idk obvi its christmas ppl will post their hauls but its like damn? more than 3 items person??#every year i get a pair of pjs and something practical. not that im complaining because its shit i use but#we dont make gift lists. we arent asked and arent allowed to want stuff so idk how to ask for it. then ppl ik have 30 plus items of junk an#i donr care ab presents because im a hoarder who doesnt use my shit but they have families who know of their interests#who talk to them everyday and go out of their way to converse. i don't even know my brothers fav color. my mother doesnt know my fav food.#me and my grandma say at most 6 words a day cuz of a language barrier and my father is a baby who doesnt reach out first#i eent to a friends house 2 dsys ago snd the whole family was chatting and the house was so lively and homey#then i go home and nobody says a word to each other. idk what code everyone has that im missing but oh my god im so jealous#im jealous of their relationships their freedom their partners the amount they spend their friendships their personalities#i want to be like them. i want to be them. but im me and the most i said to mom on christmas day was merry Christmas. then get yelled at#l speaks#shut up l#ranting in the tags because i can#its like god took his time making their lives as close to perfect as possible then went to me and was like ehh#he made me odd and offputting enough to make me different then made me 'normal' enough to not raise any flags#then put me in the most virtually normal home environment that at its core is fucked#but idk. its 5 am i havent slept in 2 days merry Christmas happy new year.#posts that couldve gone in the notes app
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Ace....... my beautiful dead wife comes back to haunt me once again
#luffy will bring this country down just bc he can't have another serving of rice bc otama can't afford it#she makes hats.... ace learnt to make hats in wano.....#she is waiting for ace.... just like me fr....#i was saying i could cry and well i am....#congrats luffy now she is sick AND sad#like i get he will never ever hide something but damn#FUCKING X DRAKE TOO?????#i am crying just by seeing ace again this cant be true akdhaks#like omg him doing something else that is not dying 😭😭#going thru it do not contact me..............#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 894#you know how many times i have typed episide???. episide.... bc my fucking fingers cant coordinate listen i am on episOde 894....#i have written this word so many times and fucking sitll..#brook with a summer body tee lmao#until now the fillers have been time sensitive idk what changed now lmao#WHAT IS BOA HANCOCK DOING THERE#he said not only hancock but hancock kun.... this is a big day for her l#i accept outfit deviations in fact in luffy's case i welcome them bc the frilly shirt doesn't do it for me#but changing his chanclas.... criminal offense#i love hancock luffy team ups (have they been only in fillers/movies????) but not when it undermines hancocks abilities#for this filler they found nami in the middle of a work out sesh or what.... wristbands and all#robin too looks like that akdhskdks#sanji with the tie drawn on his tee.... so casual too#idk what brook has going on#episode 895#episode 896
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I have decided to start this crochet project over for the fourth time.
#once more unto the breach!#(once more with feeling?)#I had said I would just find another pattern but...I haven't managed that#I bookmarked one that is similar only I'd have to pay for it and it's very meh so?#and I want to make this project with tunisian crochet so here I am#the really annoying thing? there are comments on the blog where the pattern is posted saying 'hey this is confusing and isn't working'#and every one has a reply saying 'send pattern questions to this email address'#to which I say 'sus'#but here we go!#(should be noted I am choosing to attempt this a fourth time instead of working on a crochet project my s-i-l specifically requested)#(because I hate that project with every fiber of my being and I'm sorry I was so blasé when she asked if I could make it)#(blasé? perhaps flippant...?)#(the words aren't wording today)#(also I need to have THAT project finished in a month)#for anyone curious about what's wrong with this pattern:#1) there are not stitch counts so you don't know if you're actually working the pattern correctly#2) there are several increases because the back sides and front are all worked together and the increase instructions are wrong#3) there's no actual picture of what the piece looks like laid out#or any diagrams#4) it's HUGE (I am sizing down both my hook and the pattern size)#yes I still refuse to make a gauge swatch
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awkward air sign representation 😭
#jacob#the boyz#tbz#vid#🌽post#*up#ult#whAteVeR cOmeS To mINd!#💕💞💘💘💞💘💕💘💕💘💕💘💕💘#i’m going through SO MUCH i am being SO STRONG#he's just like...... i am too fuckin introverted for this guys......#i mean he's not swearing obvs he doesn't do that ever in his life as we know definitely disclaimer#and the zombie question like. WAIT FOR YOUR TIME 😭 real#he needs to never say he's talentless again tho bc i'll fight fr#anyways i'm sorry i'm so like. l word. whatever i won't even. u know already.#*ults
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it’s ✨okay✨, right~?
#s o rry rant incoming im just. re a l l y crabby after working for 8.5 consecutive hours with no proper break okie~? </3#ayEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THE ADMINS AT MY WORKPLACE CAN GO K I C K R O C K S#their time management is somehow worse than mine and i suck balls at it?????? SJCFJFFHDHHD I THOUGHT Y’ALL WERE BETTER AT YOUR JOBS MANSSSSS#the!!!!! admins!!!!!! sent in over a hundred samples without any info sheets and stuff so the morning shift literally couldn’t get started!!#doing the morning shift’s part of the job was. annoying. to say the least. especially when said work could’ve actually been done (ʘ‿ʘ)#dammit workplace admins you had one job </3#and n o it’s not to send in the sample info sheet things at the same time as the pm shift’s reporting time </3#and as if that weren’t enough.. the!!!! admin!!!! refused to go home in the evening?????? and sent in like 80 samples at like 8.30pm??????#and that’s not counting the samples that were yeeted in at 5pm </3 truly sadge#and o f c o u r s e we haaaaaaaad to be short-staffed today lmfao. the two workstations life compels me to lay down on the floor and c r y .#but bc i’m just ✨too great✨ at my job you see (lies) i finished my stuff way too early and had to do other extra tests too s o b s#and that included a test that i don’t fully know how to do (sadge)#well. at least that test involved the use of a microscope. thank you past me for attaining magic skills with microscope zooming and stuff#seriously. thank you past me. i can almost forgive you for choosing to enter the f r e a k i n g ✨s c i e n c e✨ industry of all things#but hmmmmmmm im amazed that i actually managed to finish everything across those two stations. am i too good at my job or ✨w h a t✨ (lies)#but man. m a n. none of this even gets into my secret beef with the data entry admin.#she can’t spell for her life. it s e r i o u s l y grinds my gears whenever i see her spell the word ‘content’ as ‘contant’.#but no. her spelling got on a w h o l e new level of questionable when she spelled the word ‘crackle’ as… ‘cracker’. like??? how????????#and she told me to ask the senior analysts if it was possible to retrieve the results for a test that we’d write the results for ✨by hand���#from some kind of system????? like i was just so!!!!! baffled!!!! that she couldn’t understand that there was no system to check????#though. hm. i guess saying that i have ✨secret✨ beef with that admin would be an understatement. i think none of the others like her either#but! i do have secret beef with the janitor bc he alwayyys magically appears behind me whenever i’m doing something important/holding acids#well! at least we don’t cross paths when i’m working the pm shift. the janitor dude was spared from my presence for the week lmao#hfhfhfhhfhfhfhffffffff well. m. i’m sorry if you read all that. i’ll be more normal tomorrow i swear!!!! (blatant lies)#i feel like tling something ✨t o x i c✨ to match how im feeling thoughhh… hm. maybe the p a r a s ite chapter from the d*27m annequin anth…?#been thinking about that song lately ngl.. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.#oh wellssssss at least i can try to enjoy what’s left of my long weekend lmaooo goodnighttttt#inedible blubbering
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Hello lesbians I am back from my holiday
#I got rlly sick lmao#but it was fine#I partied non stop for three weeks#I kissed so many girls#and I got to meet the loml#juni was amazing#we went to prom together#AND I GOT TO MEET KATE AND LEISHA FROM THE L WORD#god they were so nice#never thought I’d say this but I can’t wait to go back to am*rica#juni posting#el speaks#caspar theunfriendlyghost#caspar-theunfriendlyghost#lesbian#wlw
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Your irl pics are so cute❤️
😭 oh goodness that’s was the fastest I’ve ever gotten an anon based off my little posts. Hi hellooooooooooo I hope you’re having a good day not day, my love!!! Oh oh and i have to say thank you yes thank you 🥺♥️
#i!!! am SO unable to accept compliments#i redirect them and forget to thank people for being nice#quite literally 😭 I find it so what’s the word arrogant maybe!! to say thank you#like it’ll make me#feel like a bad person who is undeserving#i m so sorry you aren’t here for the rant#🥳 it’s a holiday I hope you’re spending it with loved ones#mys mail 💌#unrelated but I’ve been using the Spanish keyboard lately and it’s making me have more errors than ever before#also also also that said#my face tag has some real hits and lots of duds I sometimes go back and look at what I used to post#I hated posting photos without a Snapchat filter cause I didn’t think I was pretty enough!! so it’s been kinda nice posting different angles#Lately :D I’m just trying to feel good about myself as a person#NO RANT sorry I l u v u
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im still thinking about that dressed as each other costume thing and it's driving me nuts that the person I would usually ask "is this a couple thing??" is the person I traded clothes with
#fanfic ass situation#and i absolutely can't ask them anything about their past(??) feelings(???) for me because they're in a serious relationship#with a monog person they started seeing a matter of days before i came over and happily announced (with sincere obliviousness)#that i had realized i miss making out and i was poly and going to start dating again#if they do/did indeed have feelings for me i owe them 100 sincere fucking apologies for that bit of timing and the failure to read the room#bro i am literally not self aware i don't get signals or know what i'm signaling at any given moment#which makes me honest (i like you so much! more than almost anyone!) but clumsy (didn’t realize you might like me more than anyone too)#it makes me a very bad friend to say it because they seem like their gf makes them happy and they've worked hard to let themself have it#and trust that it's something good#and i want and need to respect that#but i really fucking wish they'd broken up with their gf back in december when they were trying to#or i wish that M was poly instead of monog#or i wish i'd gone to therapy sooner to figure my shit out#or i wish they'd said 'living with you made me my best self' FIVE YEARS AGO instead of last month when they moved in with their gf#bc i'm starting to think i'd have everything i want if i could have s and live with both them and e#but i've had to realize this at a point where my dating life is incredibly fucking complicated#trying to get e to move in and having r say the L word and realizing i might have feelings for my taken best friend and flirting w some guy#and randos at the bar bc apparently i want attention and to be kissed but i can't have it#bc the girl in love with me is hundreds of miles away and my bestie who MIGHT. MIGHT want that isn't available and might never be#i never see myself as desirable so i never realize i might be a messy bitch until i remember#that i've had like 10 people hint at or explicitly state romantic interest in me since i was 18 and i am incapable of believing they mean it#and i think i hurt some feelings bc i lack the self esteem and self awareness to realize i even could hurt them#unbelievable.#no one who knew me in hs would believe it of me but i really am a messy bitch
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