#i am going to go absolutely batshit i already know

[callmeconfused]

my favorite animal is gonna be me when byler finally becomes canon

[debtsunpaid]

somehow this blog has become populated with a dozen characters whose relationships to their siblings roughly boils down to "that's not just my family, that is my limb, and to remove them from me would be unthinkable."

and then there's manny and the demon constantine, with a hacksaw and a dream.

[etz-ashashiyot]

You know how sometimes arguing a point is losing?

Like if you engage the argument at all you are inherently putting up for debate things that should never be up for debate and the argument itself is degrading?

You see this with interpersonal gaslighting:

A gaslighter doesn’t simply need to be right. They also need for you to believe that they are right. In stage one, you know that they’re being ridiculous, but you argue anyways. You argue for hours, without resolution. You argue over things that shouldn’t be up for debate  – your feelings, your opinions, your experience of the world. You argue because you need to be right, you need to be understood, or you need to get their approval. In stage one, you still believe yourself, but you also unwittingly put that belief up for debate. In stage two, you consider your gaslighter’s point of view first and try desperately to get them to see your point of view as well. You continue to engage because you’re afraid of what their perspective of you says about you. Winning the argument now has one objective :  proving that you’re still good, kind, and worthwhile. In stage three, when you’re hurt, you first ask, “What’s wrong with me?” You consider their point of view as normal. You start to lose your ability to make your own judgements. You become consumed with understanding them and seeing their perspective. You live with and obsess over every criticism, trying to solve it.

[Source]

But you also see this on a broader societal level, with people asking unfathomably awful questions about minority groups, such as:

[Source]

It should go without saying, but no group of people should be forced to explain that yes, they really are real people, dickheads. The question doesn't deserve an answer; it deserves at best a disgusted eyeroll + "Are you a Nazi?" and at worst a punch to the face.

There is also the related phenomenon of the "when did you stop beating your wife?" type questions. The question is framed as a yes or no question, but the real answer for the innocent is: "I've never beaten my wife and never would." But even that answer still dignifies the question with a real response and puts the idea in the mind of the listener that hey maybe that's a real possibility and this guy is lying because of course he wouldn't just admit that. Now I don't know what to believe, but I'm skeptical.

Even if he answers, doubt has been cast on his character and many people (maybe even most people) neither have the attention span to listen to his full counter argument and supporting evidence nor are invested enough in strangers' lives to take the time to dig for facts on their own. Critically, it comes from a good impulse that shouldn't be repressed or taken too far in the opposite direction; namely, that we want to believe survivors and make it socially acceptable to speak out about abuse.

This leaves us with the uncomfortable reality that balancing believing survivors and whistle-blowers against not automatically believing allegations that very well may be false and/or in bad faith is a very tricky balancing act indeed. Because of this, people tend to struggle with taking survivors seriously and with presuming innocence until guilt has actually been proven, both. And as for the latter, this is at least partially due to the same psychological factors underlying the Don't Think of an Elephant problem.

Why am I discussing this?

See the thing is that these types of discourse have all been used, heavily, against the Jewish community, especially since Oct 7th, but really going back hundreds of years.

If you want to be our ally, you need to be on guard for how people use this rhetoric to accuse Jews of absolutely batshit cookoo bananas allegations (like being lizard people or having horns, or secretly running the world, or killing Christian babies to use their blood in our matzah, etc. etc.) and get away with it. Now obviously if so many people weren't already racist towards Jews as a people and had a vested interest in maintaining their supercessionist cultural worldview from Christianity and Islam, it would be a lot harder for this to work. Alas, the past 2000 years has created a bit of a snowballing effect.

This culminates in the effect described so well by Sartre:

Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. The anti-Semites have the right to play. They even like to play with discourse for, by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is past.

— Jean-Paul Sartre

Right now, Jews are facing extreme levels of these types of rhetorical abuse, and are receiving very little help in the way of pushback.

We have to stop trying to explain ourselves and start just naming these tactics instead.

[qqueenofhades]

AAAAHHHHHHHH It's TIM! 1000% strong MN girl here and boy it's been real fun to watch Tim (and Peggy! Our amazing lieutenant governor) take a small small Democratic majority and do incredible things. My kid ate two meals at school every day for free. DELIGHTED that he's the VP pick. LET'S GOOOOOOOO!!!!

Listen, I am just ECSTATIC. Ever since I seriously became tuned into the veepstakes, he was my number one pick (I mean, I was not immune to the brief flirtation everyone had with Beshear/Buttigieg/etc), but yes. Walz was my top pick and I was trying desperately not to get my heart too set on him in case it fell through, but he was the obvious best choice of the contenders by a country mile. He has an almost absurdly Midwestern pro-America background (military veteran, public school teacher, football coach from a small rural town, etc) AND he has managed to enact a long list of progressive policies in Minnesota with a very narrow majority in the state legislature. Also, you're going to be seeing a lot of this video, for good reason:

Also.... let's be real, Shapiro would have been an incredible distraction/drag on the ticket, unfortunately. We don't need to deal with his retrograde views on Gaza and his other baggage, and while he is a very popular governor in Pennsylvania, it's less certain that his appeal would translate to other states. We can argue (or you know, let's not and move on) about whether or not that was fair, but this is just not the year to try to win the most critical high-stakes election ever by pissing off young voters. Shapiro has done plenty of good things and has time to develop his career further, but he would have been a BAD pick for 2024 and I was alarmed at how many Respected Pundits (tm) were pulling for him. Reuters even claimed that picking him would "defang Republican attempts to make Israel-Gaza a wedge issue for Democrats," which is such a mind-bogglingly stupid statement that it makes you wonder how anyone writing it actually got paid for their political insight, but it also explains a lot about mainstream media these days. Picking Shapiro would have been an absolute gift to the Republicans and bad-faith actors and others (plus like, I don't want to have to spend time winning back the young voters who are actually once more engaged in the process!) and would have led to the media eagerly jumping into the feeding frenzy (because they're desperate to have a reason not to cover Trump's increasingly crazy-ass shit) and other Democratic-on-Democratic infighting. And it goes without saying that WE CANNOT AFFORD THAT.

As well, picking Shapiro just because you need to win PA this election cycle is yet another example of why the Electoral College sucks, and the polling averages in PA have been moving solidly blue anyway. You can just park Shapiro there and have him campaign in the state as the sitting popular governor, rather than expose him to the liability of a nationwide campaign where, as noted, all the other stuff would be a drag. If it's true that the establishment was pushing Harris to pick Shapiro and she picked Walz instead, a) GOOD! and b) if anything, this election cycle needs to fucking teach us that we have got to stop going with the Conventional Wisdom Tee Em. Walz was already out there, he was already popular with the public/energizing the grassroots, AND he was the guy who coined the "Weird" attack line that is actually effective and organically popular against the Republicans and drives them batshit. So for Kamala to lean into that and take him as her running mate is... zomgz... smart, and I am not used to the Democrats playing smart and aggressive and not just passive-defensive. I don't understand. Wow.

Anyway, now watch the New York Times (and the others, lbr, but especially the NYT) desperately try to dig up scandalous stories about that time Walz didn't stop at the 4H booth at the county fair, or walked past someone without saying "Ope just gonna sneak by ya first" or some other terrible Midwestern sin, but fuck those guys. I am EXCITED I am ENERGIZED I am THRILLED. This is a GREAT new ticket that came together at incredibly short notice and completely changed the dynamics everywhere, Walz is gonna make JD Vance cry (unsure whether I want to see Harris demolish Trumpster or Midwestern Dad to turn the cranks on Weird Couchfucking Fascist Skidmark more, but both, both, both is good). LET'S GO GET THOSE WEIRD MOTHERFUCKERS, Y'ALL!!

HARRIS/WALZ 2024!

[world0fmadness]

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ✩ ˚ ALL IS FULL OF LOVE

max verstappen x musician! reader x ( platonic! ) oc daughter

featuring: teenage love and online dating

faceclaim: mako minami

୨୧ fluff overload! max and reader are both 17 in 2015, 18 in 2016 and so on! obviously max was nowhere near as famous when he was 17 so there isn’t any fan comments! i imagine reader to be around the same size of an artist as mako minami too, small but passionate

reading music recommendations: all is full of love by mako minami - chocolate by mako minami - virtual kiss by mako minami

2015 - kawaiikittiieyn: love life ≽ܫ≼ ! i love mine

maxverstappen: liefde! don’t drink so much, i am not there to look after you 😅

> kawaiikittiieyn: it’s apple juice :3 wish you were here maxie

> maxverstappen: wish i was there too yn… one day, soon, i promise 💞

2015 - kawaiikittiieyn: cats and friends and totally me and max in the third picture ฅ^._.^ฅ

maxverstappen: me and you forever 💕 🐈‍⬛

> kawaiikittieyn: forever and ever <3 🐈

2015 - kawaiikittiieyn: happy christmas to you all ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

maxverstappen: happy christmas liefde! i hope you liked my gift to you 💝

> kawaiikittiieyn: happy christmas maxie ^_^ i loved your gift to me, did you love mine to you?

> maxverstappen: more than i can put into words 💓 my most favourite gift i’ve ever gotten from my favourite person

2016 - kawaiikittiieyn: hello kitty you’re so pretty ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১

maxverstappen: pretty just like you ☺️ looks very “ kawaii ” ! i hope you had lots of fun liefde 💖

> kawaiikittiieyn: ^_^ it was very kawaii maxie <3 we will go together when you visit

> maxverstappen: we will 💞

2017 - kawaiikittiieyn: finally together, forever and ever ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა

maxverstappen: the feeling i got when holding you in my arms was like nothing i’ve felt before… i’ll love you forever and ever liefde 💓

> kawaiikittiieyn: being held in your arms felt like heaven, love you more forever and ever maxie ୨♡୧

2023 - kawaiikittieyn: some last studio work before i will be going on a break ^_^ princess is practicing her drawing skills for a future friend

loveuyn: a future friend… ?

> ynsteponme: another cat maybe?

> loveuyn: mmm… no… i’m sensing something more…

maxverstappen ✔️: her future friend will love her drawing skills liefde 💞

❤️ liked by kawaiikittieyn

> loveuyn: why are they being so cryptic 😭

> maxverstrapon: yeahhh… i feel like if this was just another pet they’d be much less cryptic

lewishamilton ✔️: can’t hair to hear the new music yn, no doubt it’ll be great as usual ❤️

❤️ liked by kawaiikittiieyn and maxverstappen

iluvf1: okay i know we’re all going batshit over what this “ future friend ” is but can as appreciate how good she looks? she’s glowing

> oldf1lvr: right… max you are one lucky fella

> loveuyn: you know why people “ glow ? ” it’s a word that begins with p…

2023 - kawaiikittiieyn: ‘ all is full of love ’ is out on all platforms now ^_^ i found out i was pregnant months ago now and started working on this song, sang with so much love from the heart to reach the womb <3 please listen here

lewishamilton ✔️: congratulations love! you’ll make a wonderful mum, absolutely beautiful song ❤️

❤️ liked my kawaiikittiieyn and maxverstappen

loveuyn: I KNEW IT!

> loveuyn: mom and dad are expecting an ACTUAL baby now omg… 🥹

> loveuyn: listening to the song, sobbing… this is too fucking sweet and god these pictures are beautiful

maxverstappen ✔️: i already know you will be the best mother our little dove could ask for 💕

❤️ liked by kawaiikittieyn

> kawaiikittieyn ✔️: as will you be the best father maxie <3 i can’t wait to see you holding her

❤️ liked by maxverstappen

> loveuyn: a little girl… i can’t 😭

> maxynforever: their little dove 💔

landonorris ✔️: right… fight for the favourite uncle begins now, congratulations max and yn!

> lewishamilton ✔️: no need to fight, we all know it’ll be me 🤷‍♂️

> danielricciardo ✔️: yeah right

> maxverstappen ✔️: you people are pathetic… checo is winning

> sergiochecoperez ✔️: 🙂

maxynforever: we’ve really seen them go from two lovey dovey teens to future parents 🥹

2024 - maxverstappen and kawaiikittieyn: our little dove, finally in our arms 💕

comments on this post are limited!

loveuyn: god… they’ve grown up for real now 🥹

lewishamilton ✔️: little dove is finally here! congratulations mate, gift basket should be there soon

> kawaiikittiieyn ✔️: we’ve already got so many gifts from you guys! we don’t have room for more but thank you lewis <3

> landonorris ✔️: mmm… that’s too bad because mine is on the way too…

> danielricciardo ✔️: and mine 😬

> sergiochecoperez ✔️: i have sent some more things for baby dove too max 🤩

> maxverstappen ✔️: yep… looks like i’ll be off building even more storage then, thanks mates 👍

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧ ˚ NEW ADDED BONUS ˚ ୨୧ ⋆｡˚ ⋆

little dove decked out in sanrio and lewis still fighting to be the favourite uncle

maxverstappen uploaded to his story!

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Kiss-eki: Dear to Me

*Kicks open door*

SURPRISE BITCHES! I am several days late and hundreds of dollars short, but I did finally *finally* decide to watch Kiseki: Dear to Me in an attempt to add one more show to the Completed Watchlist for 2023. This was a show I was planning on watching a bit earlier, probably closer to the time it was actually airing, because I'd heard it was ridiculous and thought it would be a good show to have on in the background during work. But @ginnymoonbeam had my best interests at heart and told me that I Absolutely Could Not Do That because There Was Body Language Dammit!

If I have not made it clear, THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME, GINNY!

Kiseki was absolutely wild and completely insane if you try to describe a single aspect of the plot whatsoever, but I would have given it a ten off sheer entertainment value if it wasn't for those back to back fake outs with Chen Yi being shot and Fan Ze Riyu being stabbed. But, I digress. I have only seen three things from Taiwan at this point, but those three shows have provided quite a lot of evidence to the claim that Taiwan is nearly unparalleled in their ability to portray domesticity and physical chemistry. I have also heard that Taiwan has a tendency to create content on more taboo subjects, and Kiseki was my first forray in to that side of Taiwan considering Ai Di and Chen Yi are brothers and Bai Zong Yi is a minor when he starts his relationship with Fan Ze Riu. I think both of these subjects were very smartly handled in their set up and their structure. I normally hate the like, adoptive siblings falling in love thing, cause like...that's your sibling, but they don't give us a lot if any flashback to these boys growing up together, and they don't share last names, or really call their adoptive father Dad, so there are quite a number of abstractions in that dynamic that means this is the first time I didn't have a squick about it. And having Fan Ze Riu trying so desperately not to succumb to his feelings for Bai Zong Yi and to put that distance between them, to have Bai Zong Yi be living alone and also be 17 so he's pretty close to legal age, and then to have Bai Zong Yi be the pursuer in their relationship both serve extremely well in making that relationship feel responsibly handled.

I have not been in the tags, so forgive me if this has already been done, but I have not stopped thinking about the first kiss between Ai Di and Chen Yi or the first kiss between Bai Zong Yi and Fan Ze Riu since I saw them and I simply *must* do a scene/body language breakdown about both of them. God, it's good to be back!

[side note: I was going to split this up with funny titles like Cat Boy and Mr. Sulky, but I realized that actually could apply to both couples...]

Ai Di and Chen Yi

Okay FIRST OF ALL, I just want to say that I love Ai Di, I love how ruthless and blood thirsty he is and how incredibly dangerous and scary he could be...if he wasn't so easy to pick up and carry around like a football, or like...a feral, hissing kitten. I am going to focus mostly on the first kiss that Chen Yi initiates with Ai Di because holy shit was there so much complex emotion and reaction packed in to that pretty small moment, but before I do that I am contractually obligated to acknowledge how fucking brilliant it is to show how much/how well Ai Di and Chen Yi know each other, by having Ai Di torture Chen Yi for information by threatening to feed Chen Yi incredibly spicy baby corn AND TO HAVE THAT TACTIC WORK. And to show how much Chen Yi tolerates by having him easily get out of the restraints and tie Ai Di up when he gets bored. Fucking incredible character choice to show how absolutely batshit Ai Di is, fucking incredible relationship choice to show how well Ai Di knows Chen Yi, and fucking incredible choice to use for a call back later. Also, fuck this show for that birthday cake scene! Brutal.

Okay. That said:

You know Ai Di has not for one second stopped loving Chen Yi, and now he is being met with some actual interest from Chen Yi. Chen Yi is full reciprocating what Ai Di has wanted for so long and if this were a typical BL with more simplestic characterization, we would have gotten the moment where Ai Di just melts in to it, fully lets himself have it. Accepts that Chen Yi has woken up, gotten with the program, and is ready to be in a relationship with him. And to be honest, that is what I was expecting. Ai Di has been such a loud and obvious simp for Chen Yi that I thought for a moment he would be the kind of person to let himself have it. To not question it too hard, especially because he is young and impulsive. So imagine my surprise when I got this reaction from him instead:

gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

Ai Di likes to challenge, likes to push buttons, likes to press. And he starts this scene doing just that. He is on his way to tucking Chen Yi in to bed (folding the edge of the bed spread over him because Chen Yi is drunk off his ass and too heavy for Ai Di to manhandle under the covers. But the second that Chen Yi starts simping over his Boss again, Ai Di stops performing any level of care for Chen Yi, and you can see this little change in his face where he gets annoyed and actually undoes his little moment of care and pulls the bedspread back off of Chen Yi and then he postures and he’s trying to act tough, and he’s needling intentionally, and all of these things where he is trying to be antagonistic to Chen Yi because that is the only way that Ai Di really knows how to express his emotions and he’s butt hurt about Chen Yi once against obsessing over someone Ai Di knows he can’t have when he is right there. 

Now, Ai Di gets manhandled a lot by Chen Yi and while he isn’t able to break out of it, he does very often struggle/fight back to get out of Chen Yi’s grip when he’s been baby carried away from a scene like a sack of potatoes. Which is why I do think Ai Di is giving in to his own feelings a bit here because he…doesn’t do that. He lets Chen Yi pull him closer, he lets Chen Yi push him up against the wall. And he’s still needling but it’s all bark, no bite. When he starts calling Chen Yi impotent his face softens looking up at him. 

And then Chen Yi goes in for the kiss and Ai Di’s eyes go wide, you can see an entire internal monologue running through his head. I am fairly confident there are some what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck’s going through his head when Chen Yi first kisses him. 

gif by @khaotungsfirst

There is a moment, just a moment so quick where Ai Di kisses back, where his heart gets the better of his judgment and he lets himself *have it* for *just* a second, and then his brain snaps back almost immediately and he bites Chen Yi and pushes him away. 

And honestly, I do not understand how actors work, because Ai Di’s face twitches. How the fuck does Louis do that?! He’s out of breath, and his mouth is agape, and he looks horrified, and heartbroken, and confused, but maybe a little hopeful. Like he won’t let himself believe that Chen Yi would actually do this. Like he is thinking Chen Yi is doing this out of pity, or just to shut him up, or mess with him. Because Ai Di messes with Chen Yi all the time.  This is what Ai Di wants. He wants Chen Yi, but now that he is face to face with the possibility he does not have the ability to believe in it. 

gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

And in a very rare occurrence he listens to Chen Yi when Chen Yi tells him to get out of his room. The gears are definitely turning, but he simply cannot believe it, and it is so fascinating to me thinking about all these little microexpressive moments we get from Ai Di later on in the show that he really does not believe that Chen Yi kissing him in Episode 6 was Chen Yi actually admitting feelings, because every time that Ai Di tries something like torturing Chen Yi with spicy baby corn, or flirting to try to get Chen Yi to be uncomfortable or to back off, he reacts with genuine confusion when Chen Yi flirts back. 

Case in point: 

gif by @25shadesoffebruary

gif by @shijiujun

Bai Zong Yi and Fan Ze Riu First Kiss

It’s really interesting for me to compare this kiss to the Ai Di and Chen Yi kiss because they feel like completely mirrored (read: reversed) reactions. Where Ai Di leans in to his kiss for a moment for a moment and then forces himself to push away, preventing further intimacy, Fan Ze Rui forces himself to push away for a moment and then leans in to it, allowing the intimacy to proceed.

gif by @alejunsu

The set up is incredible, and in my opinion, foreshadows the fake amnesia plot in that Ze Rui is absolutely laser focused on his task (treating Zong Yi’s wounds) and intentionally ignoring everything else because he knows that it is irresponsible for him to initiate a relationship with a seventeen year old. Zong Yi is the first to lean in and go for a kiss, and he lingers at a distance that is respectful but with obvious intent for as long as it takes Ze Rui to look up and notice. There is a split second where Ze Rui’s eyes flit down to Zong Yi’s lips, and then he puts himself right back on task. Zong Yi is not to be dissuaded and goes in for the kiss again. Ze Rui notices, and grabs at Zong Yi’s shoulder to stop him, furrowing his brow in what I would consider confusion and focus, but once again his eyes betray him and he looks back at Zong Yi’s lips. This time without looking away, so Zong Yi continues, leaning in slowly and Ze Rui is drawn in at this point, he is frozen there, he isn’t trying to disengage from the inevitable anymore, unable to rebel against his own desire. 

gif by @alejunsu

Their lips meet, and to me it looks like Ze Rui is shocked, like his brain has short circuited and he doesn’t know where to go from here. It’s like his body is just reacting and reacting before his brain can catch up with the responsibility. He kisses back before his brain has really processed what is happening, and then he knows he shouldn’t be doing this so he tries to push away in the most half-hearteded attempt to be responsible, and a second later he’s abandoned the effort and started engaging more enthusiastically in the kiss. 

I do not fucking know how Hsu Kai does it because I swear to god Fan Riyu was cycling through about a hundred different emotions in this one moment and they were all acting against his physical reaction to the kiss. The way his arm goes out to Bai Zong Yi's shoulder to try to keep physical distance between the two of them, while he is having a full out internal war with himself? Holy fucking shit. It’s really like his brain is going “is this actually happening? Shit yes it is I have to- fuck it” 

gif by @maxescheibechlinichacheli

And at the start of his active participation in the kiss he is still not letting himself have it. I think he is still stuck on the fact that he shouldn’t be doing this, and as a result he pushes Zong Yi back so he can see his face, study it. All it takes is for Bai Zong Yi to go back in yet again to continue their kiss, and then it’s all over for Fan Ze Rui. He’s all in. His hand goes to Zong Yi’s face, to his neck, and before we know it he is pulling himself in to Zong Yi’s lap from the floor so  smoothly. 

Reunion Sex 

I initially was only going to focus on the Ep 6 Ai Di x Chen Yi and the Episode 7 Zong Yi x Ze Rui moments in this post, but I am so in love with the structure of the reunion sex scene that I absolutely had to talk about it. 

Again, I do not understand how actors work because Hsu Kai just knocks it out of the motherfucking park. I love that when Fan Ze Rui rouses from sleep and starts muttering under his breath and engagin with Zong Yi, you don’t need any visual confirmation from the story whatsoever to understand that Ze Rui definitely has actual dreams of reuniting with Bai Zong Yi. And you don’t need that additional confirmation because of how Hsu Kai sells the talking in his sleep moment here when he’s riding on the pills and alcohol. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

He blinks through heavy lids and reaches out toward Zong Yi instantly, his smile is absent and dreamy, and unrestrained in a way that genuinely impresses me because I feel like it is hard to pull off acting the kind of drowsy you are when you’re still trapped in the limbo between wake and sleep when you’re not actually experiencing it. Ze Rui’s touches are unrestrained, his eyes are barely opened under their own weight, and he’s loose and droopy still when Bai Zong Yi lifts him in to the hug. Ze Rui’s bones look heavy and his muscles look loose, and he’s not really able to maintain his own structure as a result. Settling back flat pretty quickly have Zong Yi has released him from his embrace. 

And then the light changes and the setting gets dreamier despite the fact that Ze Riu is actually starting to wake up, being reminded this is real, Zong Yi is real with grounded touches that we see in close up. And I am so sad we don’t get to see Ze Rui’s face at the exact moment of the scene when it clicks for him that this is real, because it happens during the close up of the hands (which I am also fine with :D). But when we pull back out into the wider shot, Ze Rui is already sobbing against Bai Zong Yi’s cheek. And Ze Rui tries his damndest to be his normal jokey, smiley self once he knows what is happening is real, because that’s who Zong Yi loves, and that’s who Zong Yi deserves after all the pain he’s suffered for Ze Rui but instead he just…breaks. Y’all I lost it at the way all the strength just falls away from Ze Rui’s voice when he says “kiddo”. How small he sounds when he says he’s sorry. The meekness in his voice during his own apology speaks volumes for how important it is, how much weight it carries. Because Ze Rui knows what happened to Zong Yi over the past four years. He knows all of it. He knows that Zong Yi went to prison to protect him, he knows that Zong Yi got attacked there, he knows that Zong Yi has memory problems now because of it. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

He has all of this guilt that is driving the way he interacts with Bai Zong Yi in their interlude here. By the way: “It’s been 1,573 days. Did it hurt?” is joining my list of Incredibly Devastating Lines. And it’s not just because of the line itself, it’s not just because of the way Bai Zong Yi shakes his head no. It’s especially devastating to me because right before Ze Rui asks the question, he slides his hand up to the back of Bai Zong Yi’s head and massages it a little bit with his thumb, like he’s trying to rub at an ache in hopes of getting rid of the pain. It is in no way the focus of the scene, and the action is mostly cut off and regailed to the edge of the screen, but jesus fucking christ it did wonders for me in terms of selling the scene. 

Anyway, Ginny was right, the body language was incredible, and I’m glad I didn’t watch this live or else I’d have gotten zero sleep writing essays every day of the week about some of these scenes

[xsommeee]

BEAST SKK HEAD CANON~~

Dazai's room is an exact replica of what Mori had in his. Nothing touched everso slightly, he rarely sleeps at night, sits glued to a chair in the corner and states in the dark. Talking to himself at various moments, arguing passionately against tall red drapes. In a Victorian era styled rooms with bedded pillars and purple soft carpet floors. Multiple grim artworks hung on the walls with heavy embellished frames.

If you asked Dazai what the model number written under the gun of a goon who walked past him this morning, he'd tell you with absolute certainty. However he had no idea about the bedding in his room, or the couch, he didn't even know the curtains were red. He simply never looked at them, he only saw the high void like ceiling.

“Comment était votre petit voyage?” Dazai remarked without moving. The room was completely silent before this, a normal person will say there wasn't a person there either.

“Il n’y a jamais de voyage.”

“Then where were you this whole week? Trying on better dog collars?” Dazai says glaring at the other. There was light illuminating a scowling slime face.

Chuuya Nakahara was missing from the Port Mafia quarters, the second in command had performed none of his duties for over two weeks “I need to talk to you, with sincerity” Chuuya breathes in “You- you delivered a box filled with over 200 hearts to the place I was in today.” Chuuya crosses his arms, visibly uncomfortable.

“Two hundred and thirty three for the fourteenth day of you not coming back. The Fibonacci sequence you know, I recognise your love for math and physics.” A horrific grin plastered on Dazai. Chuuya opens his mouth but falls short of words only to get interrupted.

“You wanted to avoid this outcome? I had warned you, Chuuya. You could have filed a leave application instead of disappearing, why didn't you? Did you really think I was bluffing?” “Bastard!” Chuuya grits, “you knew where I was!”

“Yes, and that doesn't excuse your absence.” Dark eyes cut into crystal blue ones. There's a surge of pain in the latter.

“Dazai,” Chuuya walks towards him half bowed with a desperation and uncomeliness he'd never felt. Wildly gesticulating every word and eyes blown wide. He screams, abuses and cries all through the same words and speaks without breathing. “I’ve had nothing, nothing to do for more than six months. I know batshit about whatever you're doing, hell that white hair kid who's been here two days knows more than I. A shitty goon with no use but to die first is more useful than me. Hell Dazai I’d fucking go out there not use my powers and fight like that recruit. But all, all that I do is come to this goddamn building and sit in an office she used to sit in. Watching people I used to know and respect deride me. Spit on me for the traitor I am! You wanted revenge over me not supporting your accession.”

Chuuya fists Dazai’s shirts shaking him with his own trembling body, “You’ve had it. I don't think you could have more. I'd say whatever you want, do whatever you say. Just- just let me peace, some peace. Stop torturing me like this. Like you’re unaware, behaving like this is alright, I’m tired. I’m sick. I’m already crazy! There's nothing left, nothing, nothing, nothing!”

Dazai had gotten up during this tirade, holding the hand fisted in his shirt, rubbing Chuuya's back soothingly with the other. By the end of it a heavy silence ensued. Dazai stared at his eyes brimming with unshed tears.

He started speaking calmly as if Chuuya was upset after seeing a rat get run over by a car. “Shh, don't be like this. Walls have ears, if someone heard chibi right now, you want something to do that's all? If that's it, I want you as my bodyguard. I had proposed it multiple times. You don't need to go anywhere, not the office or meetings, just stay.”

“Stay with you?” Chuuya murmurs under his breath. Dazai moves in closer, pushing Chuuya into his chest, trapping him with his arms. A dark room with two figures towered inward, they're two worlds colliding, obliterating each other.

From an outsider's perspective the Port Mafia's boss and his second in command are such dynamically different people. A different species altogether Osamu Dazai with his cold antipathic gaze, he can scare people with his mere presence in a room silent, still and unfeeling. There is anger in him too, unlike what appearance states, but it is reasonable and calculated, a white freezing fire. Chuuya Nakahara on the other hand is scalding hot, even to Dazai, burning himself from within like an amber ignited orange and red. He is simplehearted and straightforward to most, nevertheless complexities lay buried deep within him, in their presence he begins to think of everything as an act, a heinous disgusting lie. Dazai pokes that part of him, a place where they align the most perfectly in his eyes.

Dazai smashes his lips over Chuuya's, holding his nape in his hand to bend him up. The energy that possesses him while doing this however leaves him instantly, he backs just a little but their lips still touch, feeling each other's breaths fan over.

A few tense moments pass like that. Dazai stirs first, he knows the reason why Chuuya wants to leave. He moves backwards with such slowness as if moving away is excruciatingly painful. Chuuya doesn't let him move too much though, kissing Dazai full and tender, breaking it at times to look into his dilated eyes as if to read some unknown secret. Dazai holds him tighter than a drowning man stuck in a storm with only a log to float.

Read the rest here? Idk I really like this fic, like really I hope people read it, I'd write like one chapter more :

[biblicallyaccuratecrow]

rambling about songs my brain associates with isat (pt. 1)

[woe, spoilers be upon ye!]

i have a 250+ song isat playlist. I am unhealthily obsessed with finding new songs to put in it. Here's a few that make me go absolutely batshit insane.

I've already rambled about this one on my art account a while back, but this song is so insanely loop-coded....

I'm standing on a stage Of fear and self-doubt It's a hollow play, But they'll clap anyway

You could give me any song that has some kind of reference to plays or theatre and I could probably find a way to make it about isat. but specifically this makes me think about twohats and how loop views their place in the world as a performance, a pawn, not even a character but a plot device... yeah

I'm living in an age That calls darkness light Though my language is dead Still the shapes fill my head I'm living in an age Whose name I don't know Though the fear keeps me moving, Still my heart beats so slow

I probably don't have to break this one down for you, but yeah, Island North of Vaugarde, the forgotten language... "still the shapes fill my head" has always in my mind referenced the stars and constellations, and how they're familiar but foreign...

-

thanks to @/ricecaqes and their trust ceremony animatic, this song lives in my head rent free. Even just as a whole this song is SO isat for me. literally from the first fucking lines:

Will I know when I’ve gone too far? Or frozen myself in time? An impossible brain with impossible wants Lost and astray, with impossible thoughts

like. it really can't get much more nail on the head than that?

then you got this:

So cold, I’m freezing Every piece of praise and sign that I’m believed in Solid in a crystal ball It bends the waves of the light to mend the rest of my life

and literally the first time I heard this song i paused it and said, out loud, "OH FUCK." Because. it's act 5 siffrin. Like, the slow descent into despair followed by the determination that the only way to perserve the life and the family they love is to keep them with him, to do the exact same thing the king did...

Do you also see your future starting with the farthest part? Live your life to close the space between the end and start And when it’s hard, do you hang onto any chance That you might be in control? That you’re the one who owns

For one, once you reach the end of act 2, you're constantly aware of the head housemaiden being as far as you can go, and then you're planning around it the entire time.

And then, you have. siffrin grasping for any kind of control they can have over the situation, desperately. and failing repeatedly because they simultaneously think that they are undeserving of getting what they ultimately want... yeah...

i won't go into the rest of the lyrics because honestly it's pretty well covered by the animatic but. yeah trust ceremony my sweet beloved.

-

rest in peace siffrin no middle no last name, you would have loved the mountain goats.

yeah uh. this one is also pretty high up on songs that make me go "damn that's siffrin alright".

I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam And no one in her right mind would make my home her home My heart's an autoclave

i think for me it's the idea of siffrin feeling like they're nothing, and even if they are something or someone, they are bad, worse than bad, worthless. also referencing homesickness.... yeah...

When I try to open up to you I get completely lost Houses swallowed by the earth, windows thick with frost And I reach deep down within, but the pathways twist and turn And there's no light anywhere, and nothing left to burn

I mean, this one is also pretty self-evident. siffrin losing hope while being stuck in the house... wanting to connect with the party but being completely uncapable of doing so out of the sheer terror of being left behind... act 5, with the house literally warping...

I dreamt that I was perched atop a throne of human skulls On a cliff above the ocean, howling wind and shrieking seagulls And the dream went on forever, one single static frame Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name

siffrin feels responsible for the loops, every aspect of them. their deaths, their party-member's deaths, their failures, everything. and in the end, all they really wanted was for someone to truly see them? to have a family, to not be left behind and forgotten by the world.... the importance of names and siffrin's name in particular in the story also makes this hit home for me.

-

for brevity's sake i'll just start with these three- if people are interested in hearing me justify my insane music choices i'll probably do more.... for now, see ya!

[birdiebirdjay]

controversial opinions on characters? (specifically harry potter)

hi anon! thanks for the ask :)

hmmmm i have quite a few

i don't like luna lovegood. i think she's very irritating as a person and i would absolutely go batshit if i had to interact with her in real life. she is the wizard equivalent of a flat earther and an anti vaxxer, not a spiritual guide. hermione wasn't narrow minded for doubting her and xeno, they were the narrow minded ones for never questioning their beliefs despite the MOUNTAINS of evidence against them. rahhh she makes me so angry. (i hate that i have to specify, but this isn't misogynistic, i would feel the same if she was a guy.)

lucius malfoy is a relatively harmless guy, he's just slippery. he gives me such peacock vibes. he just wants to show off and look rich and not be questioned. (also he def dotes on narcissa and draco which is adorable to explore in fics <3 i think he would be an amazing father to a little girl and would have loved a daughter which i like exploring in my fics, but that's just a headcanon)

draco is the same way, i feel. iirc he's usually too scared to start shit unless crabbe and goyle are there, he just makes me laugh tbh. of course he does do and say some shitty things but i am just. unable to take him seriously. this may be because i haven't thought about his character in a while, but as of right now, i don't really see him as evil OR a sympathetic little boy. he's just. a little dude. (he is more dangerous than his father though, i'll give him that.) i mean if marauders stans are allowed to glorify james potter and put him on a pedestal, i'm allowed to have this.

percy weasley! i love percy so much, i think this is an uncommon opinion but i don't really know. i think he's amazing, i've already talked about him a lot on my blog so ye :)

i think the weasley family is dysfunctional asf. i don't think i personally can explain it, but this post by @/arkadijxpancakes does a great job of comprehensively analyzing their history and dynamics as well as showing why each weasley is the way they are. super good read!

albus dumbledore: i don't know why this is controversial but i actually think he was a good character, all things considered. yes, he did some bad things, but they were to help save the wizarding world in the end. he set it all up.

severus snape: i think he's awesome, deserved WAY better, and was a traumatized character who is severely overhated. please don't try to fight me on this, you'll just give me a headache.

lily evans: this is a very new opinion of mine but... i don't think she was a great person. i used to wonder 'how could james potter, a shitty little twit twat, end up with such a wonderful and kind and amazing person?' but i've come to realize, she's really not those things. she was kind of a shit friend from what we know. i still think she's very interesting, but not necessarily a good person.

harry potter!! i want to include him because i think that quite frankly he is an awesome little dude but is super underrated and borderline disliked by a big part of the fandom. though i personally feel like he could have been written better in some ways, i still love him tons and i think he deserves more appreciation <33 (also i adore the idea of an oddly specific au where percy and oliver team up to take care of lil tiny first year harry)

neville longbottom: this may be the most controversial one yet but i just don't feel the hype. i feel like he was largely unimportant in the first six books besides as a side character (but it's been a while since i read most of them, so correct me if i'm wrong) and yeah he was cool in the seventh, but like... i still don't feel it. he was pretty boring imo. i think i logically understand why he's loved, but i don't personally relate :/

(canon) james potter: hate him. -100000000/10. he can go die. (OH WAIT HE ALREADY DID!) i'm sorry, i just cannot like him. fanon james is awesome and super cute and lovable, but fanon james is a whole different person than canon james. if we compare young severus to harry, james is dudley dursley in literally every way. rich, privileged, gets away with everything, and loves picking on powerless and vulnerable people for fun. the only difference is that james potter tended to do it with a partner/group, and dudley could do it on his own. oh, and dudley apologized, i guess. it was pretty half assed but we did see him trying to be better with the teacup and stuff. they both suck, obviously, but at least dudley had a slight turning point. maybe i just don't like james because we never saw him be apologetic or regret anything in canon? idk.

cho chang: i honestly really liked her! i thought she and harry could have been super cute ever since i read the third book. now obviously valentines day of 1996 was a disaster, but i still think that if she and harry had met up again after the war and after they had figured themselves out, they could have sort of talked and apologized and moved on and possibly rekindled. idk, this isn't really as ~controversial~ as some of the others because i feel like cho chang is just more forgotten than unpopular or controversial, but i don't see a lot of charry content out there so i'm putting this here :]

one last thing i almost forgot, VIKTOR KRUM IS A FUCKING CREEP!! i used to be more hesitant about voicing this opinion because he's so loved in the fandom, but GOD DAMN he's a creep. as a famous, rich, popular adult, he asks out a 15 year old and is super nice to her and appreciates her intellect and is generally very sweet to her, but that just. that literally just sounds like grooming to me?? wtf?? i mean if i was asked out at 15 by an 18 year old, i would be VERY creeped out. also he comments on how attractive ginny (15 at the time) is at bill's wedding when HE IS IN HIS 20s. he then makes a comment along the lines of 'what's the point of being famous if all the good looking girls are taken?' HEY HERE'S AN IDEA, FIND A WOMAN INSTEAD OF A GIRL??

there's gotta be more controversial opinions i have but no one else comes to mind right now; feel free to request opinions on specific characters! i have a lot of those :]

[kerubimcrepin]

Live-read: "Julith et Jahash" - Part 1

In the past, I said that I would wait for a translation that is currently in the making in the russian fandom. However, because I am weak, and want to keep this blog going asap, I lied. (This liveblog will be very slow due to this, so be warned.)

This comic will let us understand Joris better... while literally all of his personality, morals, body language, and tastes, are a product of Kerubim, — this might shed light on A. family history, that might dictate his physiology (what if Julith randomly says she has an allergy? This isn't real, but it would be big for Joris lore), and the things he went through after the movie: what experience he would have with the huppermage culture, which he was cut off from for his entire life thus far.

Question: is there a single member of this family who DOESN'T fish??

Kramdam is a part of Rok Island, the name of which will be familiar to you if you're A. a player of the MMOs, B. batshit insane about Joris lore.

It might be silly, for me to point this out, but listen: the movie, the series, they all happen hundreds of years before the Dofus MMO, — so to have confirmation that Rok Island is that old, is very interesting.

I had previously said that huppermages aren't very fond of cultures outside their own, and I want to elaborate, so that my words aren't misconstrued: Huppermages culture is, in a lot of ways, a mixture of different classes, — because a lot of huppermages aren't born huppermages, but instead, people who convert to this class, and a lot of their spells are inspired or taken from other classes. However, not assimilating fully is... very unwelcome.

Having a history of oppression and at least one genocide in the years after the movie, made huppermages very understandably conservative and closed-off. But this culture, as we'll see from this comic, had some pretty toxic traits even before those scars.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Like I already knew about this, but I want you to understand: the stupid fucking log thing is a family trait.

Do you think Joris told Bakara "I hate magic, I hate magic, I hate magic. I HATE WANDS. I HATE STAFFS. I KEEP BREAKING THEM. LET ME OUT. LET ME OUT OF THE ACADEMY. STOP HAVING ME BE ENROLLED!!!!" and the next day she brought him a fucking log. Do you think this is what happened.

So small, and already sure that she'll never be as good as her brother... man.

Also... Bakara and Joris looked very similar as kids. At least that's my opinion.

I didn't think this comic would make me emotional, but the Jurgen family having a thing for logs is making me violently ill.

It probably was Bakara who gave him that bright idea. And Kerubim was probably like "ok son, I am someone who also uses blunt weapons, I can teach you how to do this."

There isn't some "i like to use logs" gene, it was all just Joris preferring to use melee, Bakara's memories of Jahash's melee skills, and Kerubim's skill in melee fighting.

It is just... insane to me, how Joris ends up doing this one thing that his biological father liked to do, despite how different they are as people. Despite Joris likely feeling absolutely nothing towards the man.

Well, that, or he fucking hates Jahash, though probably not as much as Julith.

Think about it this way, — Jahash and Julith ruined his childhood by their reappearance. They ruined his life for the next few decades too, probably. And after? They would always be a shadow over his life, for as long as they are remembered. It's always either "you're evil and we don't trust you because you're Julith's son" (even though he knows that Julith was framed,) or "you're not good enough, even though you're Jahash's son. How come?" (even though he knows from Bakara that... Jahash was just a man. Even if it is hard for him to put together the almost-holy image of his father as seen on the stained-glass in a temple, and the image of him that Bakara talks about, — a human person, who had fears and dreams.)

The only way for Joris to live his own life, without any judgement or comparison, without being reminded of how shit his childhood was, is to wait for the World of Twelve to forget who the fuck a Julith and Jahash even are. It's logical for him to have some irrational resentment.

And yet he brings a log to a nuke fight in season 4. Jahash would never do this, because he got good at magic, but he WOULD approve.

His parents would have loved him a lot, if they had the chance.

List of things that Joris and Bakara share:

Neurotic perfectionist who struggles with self-hatred about their skills and their body.

Cute ass behaviours and expressions as children.

Alcoholism (this is my fanon for Joris. It came to me in a vision. He's just like Kerubim and Bakara, — needs to get shitfaced to cope.)

Haunted by Jahash's success in life, even though Jahash would NEVER have wanted either of them to be haunted.

Thin grabbable waist and twinkish/waifish looks as adults. (Joris is already a twink, despite his 3ft stature, but NEVER forget the official concept art of how Joris would look if he wasn't possessed by a dragon as an infant. He would be a tall, blonde, anime twink instead.)

Whisperers have, historically, been used as servants by Bontarians and Huppermages.

Though by Waven times, they are enemies of the state (at least dissenting ones), and Joris wants you to beat the shit out of them, for the sake of his beautiful nation. (because they're dissenting)

Jahash and Bakara grew up with their dad, Juvence Jurgen.

By huppermage standards, they lived in very unusual conditions.

"All huppermage towers are super-protected, we WILL die if we don't take precautions, so I will go ahead, and deliver the message myself."

Yeah, no, they're not typical huppermages. I guess Joris has a lot in common with Bakara and Jahash. (I keep making myself sad, thinking about this.)

He thinks that Jahash and Bakara are some local hicks/rednecks that the huppermage has been experimenting on, which raises many red flags. Like the fact that apparently, human experimentation is a thing that some huppermages do. Then he thinks that the huppermage is experimenting on his own kids.

The headcanon that Jahash might have had some learning disabilities that he gave to Joris as one last "sayonara you weaboo shit" genetical move, and that it was REALLY hard for him to learn magic and impossible for Joris, stays winning.

By the way, I guess this is a good time to give you the next, very funny piece of trivia:

Joris's name literally means "George George the Farmer Farmer".

I think it's likely that, historically, before Jahash's success in life, their family were just some random poverty-stricken farmers, who happened to be huppermages.

I'M SO FUCKING SAD ABOUT THEM.

Grandpa Jurgen is literally so fucking real.

THE HEADCANON THAT JAHASH MIGHT HAD LEARNING DISABILITIES THAT HE GAVE TO JORIS AS ONE LAST "SAYONARA YOU WEABOO SHIT" GENETICAL MOVE, AND THAT IT WAS REALLY HARD FOR HIM TO LEARN MAGIC AND IMPOSSIBLE FOR JORIS, STAYS WINNING.

Juvence really cares about his kids.

"If you don't do as master says, he will kill you and all your loved ones."

Guys I'm starting to think, that between this, the political intrigues, the bullying, the "using Bakara for PR while she becomes a teenage alcoholic and not giving a shit about her" thing, — that the huppermage academy and temple, are um.... not actually Good, as an institution.

To most this is "an honour," and yet, this random selection process chose a teenage huppermage who, by all accounts, can't do magic and doesn't know a single spell.

I'm so fucking sad.

You know what else these two quotes can apply to? Haha. well. I ask you to imagine Jahash's funeral, and—— [i collapse on the floor weeping]

"He was always more like a father to her, than an older brother."

I am going to crash my car into the sea. And I don't even have a car.

[eisforeidolon]

The thing with doing 'so and so consumes x media' content? Is that you have to consistently bring something to the table that is more interesting to your audience than them just revisiting the media themselves. It can be something like BTS insider information, but it doesn't necessarily have to be that big of a something. Just enthusiasm and surprise as a new viewer can do it. In-depth media critique can do it. Snark can do it in the right circumstances (though that doesn't really apply with a podcast you're selling to fans). Etc.

I haven't and am not going to listen to the Now & Then podcast, but from the people who've talked about trying it that I've seen, I get the impression Rob & Rich don't really understand that. Or they mistakenly think that listening to two middle-aged dudes who appeared in a bare handful of episodes yammer at each other is in and of itself a draw. Uh, guys? Tuning in for you specifically as opposed to deciding to see you at a convention they're already at are very different things.

I feel like they tried to bill the podcast as being an insider take, but they themselves aren't insider enough to do that so they're intermittently hosting some guests from cast and crew who were. Except they fill time between the guests with them doing a first time react to the show. Which could work ... except it sounds like they're doing it badly. They don't actually seem to like the show, but are trying to sell it to SPN fans who are, you know, fans. They frequently miss or fail to understand major moments, themes, and plot points. In short, they fail to make it consistently entertaining to the general audience they were presumably trying to pull. So most of the fans that actually love the show and were tuning in hoping to enjoy them watching it as a way of revisiting it? Have tuned back out. Which leaves who to give them money for continuing to do it? Oh, right, the weirdos who would happily throw money at studio janitor #5 or random non-speaking extra #207 if they told them D/C was real and canon. R2 haven't 'seen D/C is real, OMG!'. They've seen that they can continue to make money off having been on SPN without even bothering to rewatch the show and pretend to enjoy it! All they have to do is go down a checklist of 'D/C moments' and hint they can see how shippers would be into it and hellers will happily throw money at them. They'd already lost most of the fans who tuned in hoping they actually had interesting things to say, so why not?

All that is dumb enough, but Insisting this means that if Jensen rewatched the show he would totally [understand D/C was canon/make it canon] is an impressive level up in absolute batshit stupidity. Jensen isn't some rando who was in a handful of scenes in 10-20 episodes across 15 seasons, only trying to pretend he cares about the show for money. No he hasn't watched the entire show back over, but he's read every script, talked to the writers and directors, and every fucking thing (bar a few flashbacks/de-agings) Dean Winchester ever did on screen did it through Jensen acting out what he saw as Dean's motivations. Despite their constant self-delusion on this point, the GA and most of the fandom did not watch the show and think there was any kind of romance between those two characters. So insisting Jensen himself would entirely change his mind on who Dean was and what he felt despite his prominent role in determining exactly those things by watching the show back as a whole?

It's the same old fixated obsession with their own fanfic and denial of rationality that has lead them to make these same stupid predictions queerbaiting themselves over and over and over and over and over and over and over and ...

[prussiacide]

hetalia mfs who are sluts

such an important topic

feliciano: obviously. i mean, the man is constantly either talking about boobs or staring at muscles or both

feliks: its so funny to me that the personification of one of the most religiously conservative countries in the world is, like, the human form of doja cats music

antonio: i consider his va saying ‘handys for everyone’ to be canon

francis: well no shit thats his whole personality in the show. on a more serious note, though, i do think that the second he is in a serious relationship he would dedicate himself wholeheartedly to his partner and would not be the type to cheat

roderich: my mans solution to everything is marriage, come on. he’s quick to fall in love and go overboard, but he’s also quick to get his head again and fall out of love. if he was a regular guy he would have, like, five ex-wives/husbands to pay alimony to. who am i kidding he canonically has been married and divorced twice already

tolys: tolys is so fascinating to me bc he has such a well-maintained image of being a hard-working, gentle, friendly guy — which he definitely is! — but he also has a serious wild side. obviously there’s the whole pagan warrior and all-powerful kingdom thing he had going on a few centuries ago, but today he def still does some crazy shit when he’s not working like some hard drugs, drinking until he blacks out, and sleeping around. every other nation thinks he’s so sweet and kinda dull, but those who are closer to him (feliks, eduard, raivis) knows he goes batshit crazy sometimes

hetalia mfs who get absolutely no bitches

gilbert

[docholligay]

A relevant question was asked by @tallangrycockatiel about my love of Interview With the Vampire: "Um, why are you into something that is all about dudes, all the time? Is this us not being a bitch's bitch?" Only, she is English so she said it in a more polite, suggested sort of way.

A very fair question! It is extremely true that, by and large, a thing with men only is less interesting to me by far and it takes a lot more for me to get into it. But she was not put off by this, for she had developed a theory:

My two initial theories are that either it hit you early enough that that hadn't become such a strong preference, or that it has something to do with the fact that despite being 95% men the entire cast seems to be having what I can only describe as dyke drama the entire time.

She both knows me and is smart, so there we are. The answer is basically: YES.

I started reading the Vampire Chronicles when I was something around 13, and so I didn't really have an idea that it was kind of fucked up that men we treated as the only default interesting people on earth. I pretty much took it as an implicit truth, where I never would have SAID that, but, I was very much in what can only be described as a 'masculinity k-hole' where of course I wanted to be a 'tomboy' and the only way for a girl to be tough and cool was if she was 'just like a boy' and this whole idea that men and masculinity were superior vomit vomit vomit whatever I am perfectly capable of beating someone's ass in red lipstick but that line of thinking did not occur to me at the time.

So I had NO sensitivity to the idea that stories whose ENTIRE UNIVERSES centered around men might be even, annoying. Anne Rice straight up does not care about or like women, and it is absolutely reflected in the way she writes her female characters. I cannot IMAGINE someone reading these as a fully grown adult who thinks women are neat, actually, and not coming away going, "My god, what is happening in these books?" But when you grow up with something, it changes with you, and the ways you think of it aren't COMING from adult you, they are, at least in part, coming from YOUNG you. And, in much the same way A Song of Ice and Fire, which I read at a similar time, gave me what I wanted from fantasy and wasn't getting, this did as well. I did not know that it would have been what is now called urban fantasy, and I didn't know that was a thing I liked (I very much know that now) all I knew was, I liked it. It was batshit and felt dangerous and it was unhinged and very gothic, though, again, not a way I could have expressed it.

So I'm carrying all that --I'll say baggage even though that has a negative connotation--when I come to the work. I already pre-like it.

This can of course backfire, but it didn't, so, I'm not gonna get into that.

NUMBER TWO: The 'all dudes' thing is not insurmountable. It's a quality issue. I love Dan Simmons' work and his women are basically nonexistent. There are plenty of things I like that don't center women. But, the bar to entry is MUCH higher. I would never in my life willingly watch something like "sailor moon but boys though."

What Interview has, that I love, is a very rare thing: Well written, EXPLICITLY gay, and everyone is fucking terrible. It is an adult show for grown-ass adults where people fuck and murder and abuse each other. Armand is the physical manifestation of gaslight gatekeep girlboss. Louis rewrites an entire personal history to make himself look better and emotionally manipulates everyone he comes into contact with. Lestat is a hot tempered, vain dilettante who does shit without thinking and then has the audacity to go, "Oh no, the quencies!" Everyone sucks, everyone is abusive in one way or another, all the fucking exes overlap, and I LOVE IT. Anyone looking for a hero or victim is watching the wrong fucking show and I am SO HAPPY ABOUT IT.

I'll close with my response when we were talking about how fucking great Sarah Waters is, in relation to the above:

it took me forever to realize that I didn't actually want recommendations for lesbian fic, what I was actually asking is: So who is doing it like Sarah Waters? Which unfortunately is no one. The woman is my own personal oasis in the desert.

And God, it has taken me YEARS to convince people that I care so much less about whether or not something is gay than if it is GOOD. Does it say something TRUE, you know? Is it messy? Is it sometimes uncomfortable? I would fucking LOVE if it could be gay on top of these things, but I'll real here:

l'll read a good straight thing versus a bad and especially a fluffy gay thing

I LOVE that shit like REd, White and Royal Blue or coffee shop Aus or whatever exist for people who want them, but I am out for blood ahaha

I have a happy, boring, domestic gay life, i do not need to imagine what a life where your biggest argument is about the quantity and variety of fucking breakfast cereal (We have EIGHT. BOXES.)

[webslingingslasher]

Candygrams

i'm writing other things but, c'mon now, it's valentines.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Genre: fluffy

Word Count: 1.4K

Summary: you send a valentine to peter and hopes he shows up.

Matt broke up with Cynthia and it was rattling the walls of Midtown High. 

Especially because it was valentines day, couples can break up any day but one would assume, birthdays, anniversaries and major holidays would be safe, no one breaks up on those days. 

Except for Matt.

Cynthia is letting the holiday play into her will. Wails coated the school, people pressured to not show love to their honey, people scared their honey will do the same. She was ripping apart flowers Matt had given her before he dumped her, a pretty brutal move on his end. 

You watched with wide eyes, mostly everyone peering over at the girl on the outskirts of campus absolutely losing it. Looking back and forth between the line and the girl you looked to the side of you at MJ, “How long until the resource guards come?” 

Cops. They were cops with a safer sounding name, but they were still cops that would detain, handcuff and transport her to somewhere under lock and key. 

“She’s absolutely batshit right now.” MJ peered at her through her sunglasses, you snorted and took a step forward. You start to peer at the menu, deciphering which flower seemed best. You heard a scream, “Matt! Don’t do this, don’t let them do this!” 

Cynthia was in a full sprint, looping in circles. Yelling out pleas to her ex while he hid his face and let out an “Oh my fucking god,” as she was trying to dodge a cop on foot and a cop in a golf cart. You’ve never seen a more interesting show on valentines, when Cynthia comes back to earth she can never show her face again. You could never live through this humiliation. 

“Hi Y/N! Hi MJ!” Betty gave an over exaggerated wave, her eyes hidden by red tinted heart sunglasses. Her earrings were dangled hearts and she wore a cupid’s arrow pin on her shirt. She looked her part, you always commend her full commitment. 

“Hey Bets! You look awesome, the booth looks even better!” MJ nods at your words, “You make valentines look classy.” 

“Aw guys! I love you both, cause today is love day!” 

MJ grimaced, she preferred to pretend she wasn’t doing this because she had a crush, but because she could. 

You smiled, glad to finally have a reason to spoil your person. 

Betty clapped her hands and got her pen ready. 

“Okay! Y/N, which flowers are you going with?” 

You point, “Secret admirer, crush and I love you.” Betty squeals and begins to cluster the flowers, different colors, each with a tag to explain what they meant to the receiver. “Would you like to write a note to send with it?” You did, and then sat for a minute trying to think of what to say. 

You settled, “If I am who you think I am, I’ll be waiting.” 

Ominus, you know. But it made sense, he would get it. Or at least you hoped he would. He should. 

“And where is this going, and who to?” 

Betty and MJ grinned at you, anxious to hear what they already knew. 

“Peter B. Parker, homeroom one oh three.” 

MJ clapped you on the shoulder, “That’s my girl. I want the yellow one, Bets. It’s for Brad.” 

You held in a laugh, you know MJ and that she’s participating means she’s smitten. However the flower she’s chosen has quite an adorable title, “I notice you,” which could be a little crush or an “hey, you’re not invisible.” 

Betty’s smile falters. “You sure that’s the one? If you want I can throw in a crush for you, on me?” MJ shakes her head, “No, I think just the yellow is fine.” 

You hear an oof, you look to the left and see Cynthia laid out. Two cops laid on top of her, screams never failing. You follow your eyes to Peter who’s watching with his fist to his mouth with Ned, he takes a sharp inhale as the bigger cop elbows her. 

He looks over and waves, you give him one back before throwing a bill at Betty and jogging to catch up. 

Peter’s eyebrows raise, “Candygrams?” 

“I did fall for the capitalist scheme.” 

Peter laughs, “I’m better than buying into all the valentines crap.” You frown slightly, sure it’s mostly junk but sometimes the meaning behind the gift has more value. 

“Because, I did my own.” He pauses to lower his backpack, Ned keeps walking. Peter unzips and digs for a moment, then pulls out a card. You can’t help the growing smile stretching across your face, “You didn’t have to.” 

He shrugs, “I wanted to.” 

You peel the page open. 

“Happy Valentine's Day, Y/N. I’m glad to have you in my life and I’m glad you make me feel like I have to write you a Valentine’s day card. It’s a feeling I haven’t had before, I’d been waiting on it for a while. Love, Peter.” 

A pout takes over your lip, Peter rolls his eyes. He’s glad you like it, but he’s pretending like he doesn’t care if you like it. 

“Peter!” You reach for a hug, he complies. You talk in his ear, he holds tighter. “Thank you, Peter. I love it.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Make sure you frame it. It took me all night thinking of what to say.” He sounds joking but he’s serious. 

You are too. “Seriously, Peter. You have no idea how much this means to me.” 

But he does know, it’s that same feeling he gets at homeroom. 

He’s never had a valentine, or given one so this is pretty special for him. Peter nearly slaps himself when his name is announced for a valentine, his name was called clearly. “Peter B. Parker?” Yup, that’s him alright. 

He raises his hand shyly, half convinced it’s a prank. But it’s real, three flowers are dropped on his desk, a red, pink and white one. Each had a special meaning, he had to stop himself from taking a whiff right then. 

Then remembered it came with a note, his hands nearly shook when he opened it. 

“If I am who you think I am, I’ll be waiting.” 

He doesn’t know who he thinks you are, but he knows who he hopes you are.

So, he waits. 

He waits like he hopes you are, he’ll only be a few more minutes. 

You’ve talked about it before. The butterfly museum. 

How bad you’ve always wanted to go on a date there, how cute it sounded. You’d tell him, “to get butterflies with butterflies is the kind of on the nose I’m into.” He hummed and agreed it would be cute, because it would. You would just be so happy to be there, and he’d move heaven and earth to see you happy. 

He assumes you’re there. 

He hopes you’re there. 

Peter holds his breath when he opens the enclosure. A burst of air shoots him, then he’s surrounded. Colorful wings decorated the plants and ceiling, he’s never seen anything so beautiful. He understands why you’ve talked about it so much, how beautiful it was. 

Nearly forgetting why he’s there he tightens the hold on the flowers behind his back, the ones you’ve gifted him. Peter looks in awe and follows some butterflies as they float in front of him, he’s feeling nearly defeated. 

Maybe he has the wrong person, he assumed it was you. But he’s looked all around and couldn’t find you, he had hoped he was right. He wanted it to be you. 

He was ready to turn away, until he heard you laugh. His heart is soaring, he looks around then sees behind a bush you stand with a butterfly in your arm. You hold it in front of you and whisper, Peter can’t help the love that tugs at him. 

How delicate and gentle you are. 

He clears his throat and walks to you, he moves in right behind you. His voice is low in your ear, you jump slightly and turn. In his hand are three flowers. He stretches them out to you. 

“Tag. You’re it.” 

[fanaticsnail]

Okay the yandere doffy has me thinking many thoughts!

Before I begin i must bring attention to the fact that Mr Mingo is based off of the title character from the tale of Don Quixote. Which is originally a cautionary tale towards chivalric romance storys that were popular at the time it was written (the 1600’s). And in the story Don Quixote is a man disillusioned with these chivalric tales (hes batshit crazy). Don Quixote decides to become a knight amd chooses a courtly lady to be his love. Expect he doesn’t know her name (and shes just a servant) so he calls her Dulcinea, which roughly translates to sweetheart. (Also our beloved Corazon is named after Don Quixote horse, Rosinante)

So like, personally, i cannot see Doffy as being anything other than a yandere. He just exudes crazy possessive energy, and just crazy in general lol. But i wont condemn Reader for being blinded by his kind facade at first, but then slowly realizing (as it becomes too late) that this guy is fuckin nuts.

So keeping these things in mind, i absolutely see Doffy calling the reader Dulcinea, but whether or not he actually remembers her name or not is up for interpretation (with all the code names hes given his subordinates i wouldn’t be surprised if he just doesn’t know/remember their real names).

Now i reveal my trap card, Corazon!

If this takes place before all the crazy sad stuff then i can seriously see Cora feeling kinda responsible for the Reader. Like shes just as innocent as any of the kids hes kept from joing. And maybe she even latches on to him once she realizes that Doffy isn’t that cool of a dude. And we all know intense situations bring about intense emotions, so of course Cora develops some feelings for Reader.

But oh does he feel guilty about it! Reader is already being manipulated and gaslit by Doffy and having a mix of intense emotions and feelings for him! This is no time to be adding another layer of confusion for her with Cora’s budding feelings as well.

I AGREE WITH ALL OF THESE THINGS SO SO MUCH. THIS IS AMAZING.

Okay okay okay, so there's a few ways I could go about this.

You are naive and truly do not know what a despicable human Doflamingo is and slowly and uncertainly begin to grow in love for him. Everyone pities you because of your misguided notions that Doflamingo cares for you, because to the outside: it looks like he's manipulating you. In actuality, he truly does love you, but nobody believes him.

You are fully aware the sway you have over Doflamingo. He loves you, and you use it to your advantage. He gaslight, gatekeep, girlbosses you and keeps you trapped in Dressrosa until he believes you truly love him in return: which you can never truly do because he is such a horrible person.

You know he is obsessed with you, but truly do not realise that he is because he loves you. Even if he confesses, you never truly believe it: especially considering he has killed everybody he had claimed to love (exception of his mother).

AND I'M SORRY, DID YOU SAY CORA'S BUDDING FEELINGS TOO??? 👀👀👀

Because I'm so there, you have no idea.

I am also very much digging the fact you called him Mister Mingo because I'm now rolling about it. I call him "Mingas" in my house, and my toddler calls him "Kormingo" 💀.

[ziorite]

buckle up lads— i’ve played cello since before kindergarten and even if i’m no virtuoso, i’m about to unleash my thoughts on the scheherazade job upon the world anyways.

look, if hardison was good enough to play the scheherzade solo at fourteen there’s just no way he sounds that shit even if he hasn’t touched the instrument for ten years. he’s supposed to have been the most promising violinist in the city which has to be stiff competition because most classically trained string players start playing young. like three to five years old young. and we know hardison was a foster kid so he almost certainly started later than most. obviously he was talented, but now he can’t even play a scale? it just doesn’t make sense to me from what i know. i’ve gone a month without touching my cello and pretty much hopped straight back into the stuff i was practicing before after fifteen minutes of warm up. the knowledge of how to hold a bow and pull it across the string and make quality sound is the kind that doesn’t leave you— for anyone of teenage hardison’s supposed skill, that instinct is part of you for LIFE. so no, the persistent portrayal of present day hardison as completely incompetent just doesn’t sit right with me.

but that doesn’t mean i think he could pull off scheherazade’s solo without nate’s rather convenient hypnosis. so i googled around and here’s the sheet music:

to be honest i thought it would be absolute batshit crazy the way they treated it in the show. the shifts are kind of crazy but i can see a very dedicated fourteen year old who practiced the shit out of this solo being able to play it. not to say it’s not still hard! there are some SERIOUS high notes that you’d be hard pressed to hit perfectly every time even with weeks of practice under your belt. shit makes me sweat and i don’t even play that instrument.

it’s a damn impressive solo for a teenager to be playing and an absolutely deranged one to try and perform on such little notice. that’s why i need someone to rewrite the scheherazade job with more focus on hardison and his violin dammit! i feel like hardison would be able to bluff his way through the other parts of the piece with enough practice in the time he has before the job, but there’s just no way he’d be able to play that solo on his own after ten years of not touching the violin. he might not even be able to practice during all the time he has— his calluses would be gone!! that’s a whole other story!!

string instruments strings are vicious y’all. and a VAST majority of the scheherazade solo is on the teeny tiny e string that basically slices through raw fingertips. i can barely make it through five minutes of dedicated practice shifting around on my thinnest string and i’ve had my calluses built up for years; i can file these babies with a nail file and poke a hot pan with them— they get pretty damn thick, and hardison’s working with nuthin y’all. you can only go so far before you give yourself an actual blister you physically cannot play on.

as a result, i feel like hardison would’ve let nate hypnotize him if ONLY the oily little slime ball (with hate and love) had told him. i really don’t understand why nate didn’t say anything until the first place. aren’t they supposed to have learned that you’re not supposed to con your own crew already?? (not that i think nate would ever really take that to heart.)

anyways, that’s my hardison-should-be-better-at-violin propaganda as well as my why-the-scheherazade-job-needs-to-be-rewritten manifesto. maybe i’ll write it myself one of these days— leverage brainrot is real and it is a sickness. hope this 2 am rant didn’t disrupt anyone’s dashes too much!