#i am genuinely losing it over this. what do y’all mean you like it now!!!

[backhurtyy]

no because not all these bitches hopping on the prequels train now that hayden christensen is back and kenobi came out and served absolute cunt… saying how much they love hayden and voting for revenge of the sith as the second best of all the skywalker saga movies??? SECOND BEST??? YOU DONT GET TO CLAIM THAT AFTER HATING ON HAYDEN AND THAT MOVIE SO HARD FOR SO LONG!!! starting today i am gatekeeping revenge of the sith and saying the only bitches allowed to enjoy it are the ones who have loved it from the beginning and have always ranked it number one. thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[adrunkskeletonsduck]

Tʜᴇ Wᴇɪɢʜᴛ ᴏғ Yᴏᴜʀ Wᴏʀᴅs | Pᴀʀᴛ 3

➜ Pairing: Aonung x fem!sully!reader

➜ Warnings: kissing, fluff, not properly proof read.

➜ Word Count: 0.9k

➜ Notes: Thank you for 300??? Like this is honestly insane, I appreciate all the love I’ve received for this mini series, y’all are amazing! Please tell me if I forgot any warnings, and a reminder that my inbox is always open for asks!

Also I feel like this is kinda bad...anyways enjoy <3

Pᴀʀᴛ 1 | Pᴀʀᴛ 2 | Pᴀʀᴛ 3

Aᴠᴀᴛᴀʀ Mᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

Aonung watched from afar as you handed the necklace to Tsireya, a shy smile on your face as she took it from you and examined it happily. She pulled you into a hug with a bright smile, thanking you profusely and complementing your work before tying it around her neck.  

A sense of jealousy bubbled within the boy as he watched the friendly exchange. Since when had you been friends? Let alone friends close enough to gift each other things.  

It wasn’t fair, he thought, that you were gifting things to a practical stranger while shoving him - someone who you knew and had showed very obvious romantic interest in you, or at least to his standards - was being shoved aside.  

He turned away, unable to watch as Tsireya ran her fingers across the finely woven thread and handpicked stones that sat on her neck and walked away.  

Aonung made many more little check-ins on you in the next few days, often times his time was cut short by his own jealousy or sorrow. He was following you around like a lost puppy and although he would never admit it, in the short time you had stopped speaking to him, he had actually come to miss you. You’d been on his mind constantly as he tried to figure out how to fix his actions and make up for his harsh words from the other night.  

“Hey are you even listening?” Rotxo asked as he stopped, planting his feet in the sand and looking at Aonung. 

“What- Yeah of course I am!” Aonung responded, lying straight to his teeth to his bestfriend. He'd only been half listening to Rotxo as he talked about his latest village ‘adventures’. Rotxo opened his mouth to argue that he really hadn't been, when they were interrupted by a body colliding with Aonung. Aonung looked down, a glare set on his face as he got ready to spit venom at whoever had just bumped into him, only for the words to hitch in his throat as he saw who it was.  

That was the other thing, ever since your argument with Aonung, he had been on edge, tense and extra mean. He’d begun picking on your brothers even more, waving off his friends and getting angry over the smallest of things. The boy just didn’t know how to handle losing someone over his own stupidity, and it was eating at him.  

“i’m sorr-” you began to apologize, looking up but you cut yourself off as you saw it was him. Your face fell, jerking your hands back from his torso like he’d burned you and glaring at him. He just stared down at you blankly, unsure of what to say or do – he always felt unsure around you. Suddenly the air felt thick as the two of you stared at each other. Rotxo was quick to pick up on the tension that now surrounded the two of you like an aura, mumbling something about needing to go help his father and running off.  

“Y/N...” Aonung started, and immediately you were pushing past him, refusing to waste your time on another of his bullshit apologies. He grabbed your arm, preventing you from running of and forcing you took look at his pleading gaze and your resolve crumbled. No matter how mad you were at him, your heart still seemed to be in the palm of his hands.  

“What?” you seethed, yanking your arm out of his grasp, “Are you here to tell me how ridiculous I’m being again?” he shook his head, casting his gaze to the ground and swallowing his pride as he prepared himself to be transparent with you.  

“I just – I just really miss you.” He looked guilty and regretful as he spoke, he even sounded genuine. For a moment you wanted to put it all behind you and forgive him because you’d missed him too. You blinked, snapping yourself out of your thoughts and steeling yourself. He didn’t deserve forgiveness after what he’d done. 

“Aonung I already told yo-” he sighed in frustration, mumbling curses to himself. Reaching out, he grabbed you by your forearm and pulled you into him. You stumbled forward, hands placing themselves on his chest, you opened your mouth to ask what the hell he was doing and looking up only to be cut off as he captured your lips with his. Your eyes widened in surprise as he kissed you, your brain short circuiting as you froze.  

Only when you began to feel him pull away did you come back to your sense, slipping your eyes shut and moving a hand to cup his face and pull him back down to kiss him back. He smiled into the kiss, placing his hands onto your waist as he kissed you. Hips molding against yours in a slow flurry of passion, each kiss hotter than the last until he was biting at your bottom lip gently, and then letting it go with a wet ‘pop’ as you pulled away with a small smile.

Pressing his forehead against yours, Aonung spoke,  

“You still mad at me?” he asked, and you nodded with a hum,  

“Very.”  

“I’m really sorry, I just didn’t know how to show you I liked you so I picked on you and I just took it to far, and I have no idea what you're going through but whatever it is I want to be there for you,” he said with a sigh, sincerity evident in his voice as he poured his heart out to you.  

“You could have just told me like a normal person,” you snipped in amusement.  

“Yeah...” he chuckled, pressing a kiss to your temple, “I’ll make it up to you though. I swear.” You nodded in agreement, placing a hungry kiss against his lips as you mumbled,  

“Let’s finish this first.”  

@oomietopia@iam-mentally-unstable@yeosxxx@heartueheartue@lola-bunn1@eywas-heir@sseleniaa@shebeast7121scared@a-romantic-twst

[taylortruther]

yeah most of it is just them feeling guilty for stanning someone they thought was Unproblematic™️ but actually isn’t, so now they’re all “i love taylor but that doesn’t mean i can’t criticize her.” well yes but what do you think your rejection of her relationship will do for the world? she’s not gonna make decisions based on what allofmechangedlikemidnightrain13 thinks. y’all just want her to go back to being clean and unproblematic so you can enjoy her music again guilt-free. if it makes you so upset then you can just distance yourself from her which truly is the best way to go about this. it’s a lesson to not be so deeply involved in a celebrity’s life because we do not know them!!

i don’t like the guy either and i am so sick of hearing about him and the shit he’s said over the years but i genuinely don’t see the point of ‘calling him out’ bc men like him never truly change their edgelord ways. like i wish people would just stop engaging with this bullshit because what the fuck are you hoping to achieve by doing so other than announcing that you are morally upright. it’s all empty fucking outrage and y’all don’t actually do shit for minorities irl it hurts. anyways speak now tv out july 7th :)

YEEEP. have you seen that tiktok that is like 'we can unite and force taylor to see how much this is hurting us and hold her accountable' because i fucking lost it. you can't control what taylor does nor should you try but these fans also don't want to lose their comfort idol so they'd rather create a petition (essentially) to get her to break up with matty than simply disable their stan accounts. like. what??? you can't honestly tell me that's the best use of your energy.

[cdyssey]

Hacks (1.10) Reactions:

the dedication being to jean’s late husband ;-;

God, Deborah edging Ava out of the schedule but not confronting her.

lol, the fact that deb has apparently served dj

“… because if you don’t want me to do this show I won’t.” Deborah genuinely asking DJ is such a good moment. DJ has spent so much of her life having to be subject to what her mother thinks best.

God, that beat after DJ makes Deborah genuinely laugh—she soaks in that moment, clearly proud and a little awed to have caused it. As we’ve seen with both Ava and Marcus, when you’re in Deborah’s spotlight, it is the most magical place in the world.

The Jimmy/Kayla dynamic isn’t quite working for me atm… her actress is great, but I need kayla to grow up just a little.

(heard they get more complex as the seasons go on, though!)

jfc, Deb doesn’t believe Ava about her dad because of the previous lies.

Deb doesn’t confront her, but Deb doesn’t look at her either. God. This drama is so fucking good.

“I don’t really think about you.” / “Yeah, right, lady. You do think about me. And I think about you. It’s called a human relationship. And sorry, but we have one.” OH, MY FUCKING GOD

“No one’s allowed to communicate honestly with you. And if they do, you either shut them out or push them away, or, I-I don’t know, hit them with your car.”

THIS IS SOME FUCKING GOOD FOOD

“This is my life!” JEAN SMART, THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE!!!!!

“Does KFC want you to be the new Colonel Sanders?” GNDNFNSNDN, cold

“You are a fucking hack.” / [Deborah slaps her.]

OH MY GOD, DID THAT JUST HAPPEN

DID THAT JUST FUCKING HAPPEN

THIS IS THE MOST INSANE CONVERSATION FUCKING EVER

The tangible silence after that—the tears in Ava’s eyes, the immediate regret in Deborah’s. All of their punches have been verbal until this exact moment, but now a new line has been crossed, and it can never be taken back.

“I’ll trade you a Xanny for a cigarette.” Lol

AVA’S REVENGE. OH, GOD GIRL. STAY AWAY FROM YOUR PHONE WHEN YOU’RE DRINKING

Kiki is so hot.

Deborah taking responsibility with Marcus… but only because Ava is out of the picture. Hhhhhhhhhgh.

MARCUS CEO AND 10% RAISE!!! OH, HE DESERVES IT

The tears in his eyes and voice. Carl Clemons-Hopkins is such a good actor. He’s brough Marcus to life in such beautiful ways.

“‘Cause you’re already in a relationship. With Deborah.” WOOF. Yeah. And the use of “relationship” takes us back to Ava and Deb in the dressing room, firmly hammering it in home that Marcus and Ava are two sides of the same coin

THE TIMES COVER.

I THINK SHE WILL.

XOXO

I’M CRYING

Deb getting a standing ovation upon entry 😭😭😭😭 yeah, that’s right. That mother

SHE’S GONNA USE THE NEW MATERIAL

SHE WORE THE STILETTOS BECAUSE THE PAIN IS WORTH IT

THIS GODDAMN SHOW

jfc Ava’s dad is dead. 😭 She never got to see him again after moving to LA.

The environmental detail in Ava’s childhood bedroom is peak. Ofc, she has mean girls and twilight magazine covers

“I gotta be up before Kelly Ripa’s day is done.” Deborah is in her head.

I’m going to be nuts over them. I am going to climb the freakin’ walls

This argument with Ava’s mom feels so fucking real, down to it casually ending with, “Do you want some coffee?” as though they just get out of a devastating fight about everything that has historically made their relationship dysfunctional

DEBORAH AT THE FUNERAL

I’M WEEPING

IN A FUR COAT AND EVERYTHING

“It’s exhausting to lose a loved one.” she gets it.

Deborah warming up the crowd like she would a standup. 😭 I’m not kidding, y’all. there are actually tears in my eyes.

DEB IN AVA’S CHILDHOOD BEDROOM

“Hey, shoes off.” AKAKSKJD

Ava got into comedy because it made her feel connected to people—a response to a shitty childhood

“Well, no. You can’t quit. You’re too good.” Oh, God, and that’s what gets Ava to finally cry. Because it’s not just grief, goddammit. It’s catharsis and much needed release. The show began with Ava stuck in a rut because the entire comedy world had deemed her irredeemable. At her childhood home, she was and is the lonely creature who could never quite get her parents to understand. But here and now, here’s someone telling her that she’s talented.

And that she belongs.

Deb about mostly bombing: “And I loved it…. I haven’t felt that way in years. The show didn’t work, but it will. The pieces are there. I just have to figure out how to put them together.” Ava has pushed her out of her comfort zone—into new and exciting territory. And that thrill of the unknown has made her feel more alive and passionate than she has in years

DEBORAH ON TOUR!!!

“Okay, but you really can’t hit people.” I’m so glad that Ava (and the show) doesn’t let her get away with that.

That handshake transforming into a tender hand hold is so goddamn beautiful.

Poor Marcus. He’s gotten what he wants at so high of a personal cost

AVA FUCKING SENT AN EMAIL ABOUT DEBORAH WHILE SHE WAS DRUNK

OH, GOD AND DEBORAH IS HAPPY AND OBLIVIOUS, AND IT’S JUST LIKE THE DRUNK VOICEMAIL ALL OVER AGAIN.

ALSO, AVA SITTING NEXT TO DEB ON THE JET WHEN DEB USED TO NOT LET HER. BUT NOW THEY’RE ON EVEN GROUND TOGETHER, EXCEPT THEY’RE NOT BECAUSE THERE’S APPARENTLT AN EMAIL

FUCK ME!!

okay, not to be hyperbolic, but that was one of the best first seasons of television that I have ever consumed in my life

[gotham--fc]

Fever did so much better yesterday but I’ve noticed at least three that hardly pass to people that are open. We got better at staying out of foul trouble too. Hull, Smith, and Mitchell really made a difference but Mitchell is also one of those that refuses to pass to teammates that are open at times. The way that some of them like to throw their rookies under the bus is honestly fascinating to me like you all haven’t been great in years but thanks to two rookies over the course of two seasons you’ve gotten better, idk it’s almost like the rookies have ✨value✨. The three players I’m talking about also were the ones that kept trying to be cute or try hitting threes when they might hit a rare three every once in a while or trying to do back passes 🤦🏽‍♀️. They were ahead and squandered it so many times because they had players that wanted to do dumb shit. But it least we lost by 2 it’s far better than losing by 36 and 11 so we’re making progress.

As for CC and Boston I’m actually done with the hate they get they are the ones that are still less experienced than most of their teammates but their teammates like to throw them under the bus during games it seems but never criticize the other pros that led us to being down in the first place and keep missing shots.

I’m sorry are we watching the same team?? Are we watching the same game??? Is there another Fever I haven’t heard of that y’all are watching?????

I don’t want to bamboozle you about my wnba allegiance so to be clear I am a Chicago sky fan, I’ve been watching the Fever bc I want to see how Caitlin does. I’m a basketball fan in general so I’ve been watching most of the games, I’ve been trying to watch all of the rookies debuts bc I’ve gotten into college basketball this year and I want to see the players I followed in college play in the wnba

Now that that’s out of the way genuinely wtf are you talking about????

First of all you are not about to come into my inbox and talk shit about Kelsey Mitchell. Kelsey Mitchell was hurt the first 2 games, came off the bench, played limited minutes, and the team sucked. Kelsey Mitchell starts the next 3 games, and the Fever improves. It’s not that hard to see her impact.

And if you want to get into passing the ball, you have no idea what a player sees or reads on a play. A player may be open but the passer doesn’t see them, or they see them but know the pass will get intercepted, or they can’t find a passing lane, you have no idea what Kelsey Mitchell sees when she has the ball. Also, this is a game about trust. When you pass the ball you need to trust that your teammate can do something with it. And why the fuck would Mitchell trust anyone but herself? When CC and Boston either turn the ball over or miss over half their shots in what universe does Mitchell not trust herself to get a bucket over them?

Yes the team had many chances to win or close the game out and they didn’t and that’s not on individual players. I’m so sorry to be the one to break it to you but the Fever is not a good team. The Fever is playing like a team that only won 18 games over the past 2 seasons. They’re playing like a team that hasn’t made the playoffs since 2016. They are in a rebuild. They completely started over after 2016. Indiana is building a team around Aliyah Boston and Caitlin Clark. That means they’re going to suck so hard for the next couple seasons until Boston and CC get it together and they get some more pieces.

Yeah the rookies have value but they’re not god. No one comes out of college and dominates in the wnba unless you’re Candace Parker. Yeah CC was a dominate college player but all y’all are forgetting what happened to Kelsey Plum in 2019. First draft picks get shit on because everyone in the league wants to rough them up, they’re not prepared for the jump between college and the wnba, AND they have all the media and attention for being first pick if they don’t live up to expectations which again no one enters the wnba and dominates unless they’re Candace fucking Parker.

If you want to talk about players missing shots. Okay so players keep attempting 3s and missing? And who does that most often? Caitlin Clark. Caitlin Clark attempts logo 3s all the time and misses. She tries to be fancy and hit crazy shots and she misses. Let’s pull up the stats shall we?

Game 1: lost 92-71. Caitlin Clark had 11 three point attempts and 4 makes. That’s 36% efficiency. The next highest three point attempts? Nalyssa Smith with 3. Everyone else had 1 or 2 or 0 attempts.

Game 2: lost 102-66. Caitlin Clark had 7 three point attempts and 1 make. That’s 14% efficiency. The next highest was Kelsey Mitchell with 3. Everyone else 1 or 2 or 0 attempts.

Game 3: lost 91-80. Caitlin Clark had 10 three point attempts and 4 makes. That’s 40% efficiency. The next highest was Kelsey Mitchell with 8 attempts and 3 makes, so 37.5% efficiency. Everyone else had either 3 or 1 or 0 attempts.

Game 4: lost 88-84. Caitlin Clark had 7 three point attempts and 3 makes. 42.9% efficiency. Next highest was Kelsey Mitchell with 6 attempts and 2 makes, so 33% efficiency. Everyone else had 2 or 3 or 0 attempts.

Game 5: lost 85-83. Caitlin Clark had 8 three point attempts and 2 makes, 25% efficiency. Next highest was Kelsey Mitchell with 7 attempts and 2 makes so 28% efficiency.

Caitlin Clark has a 32.6% three point efficiency this season. Kelsey Mitchell has 32%. Katie Lou Samuelson and Lexie Hull are both at 50% efficiency, Kristy Wallace at 30%, Nalyssa Smith at 28.6%, and Erica Wheeler at 20%.

Please tell me which players take too many 3s and don’t hit them, because the only player who takes even close to as many as CC does is shooting them at the same efficiency as her. If you want Kelsey Mitchell to stop shooting 3s and pass more because you don’t think she hits enough, then you should want CC to do the same.

Also I want you to tell me how the players are throwing the rookies under the bus. I have yet to see any player say anything to media that isn’t positive towards the rookies, and if CC and Boston are getting cooked it’s not their teammates fault. Indiana is a bad team. The coaches and front office have set up CC and Boston as the teams saviours and if they’re getting cooked and torn apart by the media for not delivering that’s not the team’s fault. No one on Indiana can make CC or Aliyah play better.

Every other team has a roster and a bench where they can sit their rookies if they’re having a bad game or not ready. They can afford to sit their rookies and let their vets play. Seattle pulled Nika after 2 minutes in her debut because she was getting cooked. And they can do that. Indiana does not have the roster or the bench to sit CC or Boston if they’re having a bad game. They have to start and they have to play because they have to. Indiana has no choice but to play them and hope they figure it out on the court because they are building their team around them. None of the players blame CC or Boston for the team being bad they’re all aware of what team they’re on. They know they won’t contend this season. They know they won’t contend for a few seasons. But they also know if they’re going to turn the team around that it must come from their rookies, so they have to figure out how to play and how to perform and how to deliver and the team can’t afford to hold their hand and walk them to the answer.

I want to know anon how long have you watched the wnba? If you’re a Caitlin stan who’s only started watching this season for her then I don’t want you in my inbox talking about shit you don’t know anything about. If you’re new that’s great! I’m always trying to get people into the wnba, I’m happy there’s so many more fans now, but I’m not okay with these news fans talking out their ass about how everyone is being mean to their favs when everyone is treating them like they treat every rookie. Caitlin is on a bad team and they’re not going to get better. The curse of going first is you end up last, and the Fever are going to suck until they don’t and CC or Boston or anyone else on the team will not change that.

[christinadevereaux]

What I’ve Learned… So far

By: Christina Faith Devereaux

(This was a paper written for College)

We’ve had relationships, situationships, lovers, one night stands, friends, fiancés, marriages… and so on that have either broken us and grown us. But every perspective of what was learned through the healing stages are different. Here is what I’ve learned.

Communication - It’s so easy to overthink and assume, instead of ask questions and confront issues/concerns. It’s easy to hold it in and not talk about it and use things in an argument as a grudge. It’s easier to let things go even if it’s valid to bring up the topics. Because of past experience you worry or fear it will create a problem or fight so you have the mentality to “let it go and don’t worry about it.” Instead of talking through issues there is walls of defense and attack, and what I like to call “seeing red”. But the question is, what if there was a healthy communication, what if there were health ways to speak to each other and knowing when to walk away?

Regrets, Pasts, Truama - A lot of people (including myself) have jumped into relationships without knowing they as an individual needed to work on themselves. Sometimes even both people use each other as a crutch and feed their fire instead of growing and learning. It becomes truama bonding. Now don’t get me wrong I do believe that your significant other should be able to accept you even with your scars of life. We all have our moments and we’re not perfect, but we also have to remember that we cannot use each other as crutches cause in the end, it’s not their battle, they have their own, it’s yours. A relationship should be in my opinion two people wanting to grow individually, together, and each other.

Pettiness, Selfishness, Jealousy - This is what I call the high school personality. You are jealous of who they are talking to, in fact you think you can control who they talk to because you are some what insecure and still getting over being cheated or used from someone else. My advice to this is, let them lose you, let them talk to who ever cause in the end, you were genuine and real. They just weren’t your person and that’s okay. You want what you want and no one is gonna tell you what you can or cannot do. That means you want to friendzone or breakup or make up whenever you want cause you know that someone who actually genuinely likes you will be there until they’ve had enough. It’s giving toxic not just for the player playing the game but the other person who is allowing it to happen. Finally if y’all are consistently fighting and being petty to each other with games and “rules” (not boundaries) then that means there is no growth.

Acceptance, The Giver, Standards - We tend to forget our worth, we let go of our appearance or fixate on our appearance to hide that we are insecure. We are our worst critic and when things happen to where people give certain comments it’s easily believable. Things were great in the beginning and then when the “honey moon phase” ends we get to see personalities come out. We have to decide if we accept them or maybe by chance we can work on the flaws we see in both of us. I have accepted that one of my good traits is I am a giver and I would do anything for you. But I also know that it can also be my flaw. But over the years I’ve learned that you can only give so much until you start diving into your own worth. Know your limits. If there isn’t any shown efforts or reciprocation then don’t feel like you are obligated to give your everything. Because in all honesty I had to learn 4times harshly that giving my all left me with nothing and I had to regain my own worth back, forgiving myself and the others for becoming someone I know better to be. Like I said let them lose you if they cannot accept you for you and show desire for you. Bending backwards and forwards for someone is another insecurity. There is nothing wrong with showing efforts, caring and loving, but if it isn’t shown with reciprocation then you are one of the problems. Now reciprocation doesn’t have to be the same exact things you do, but you’ll know from their own love language and actions if they reciprocate how and what they feel. Know your own self. Know your worth. Know what you want. Don’t go above and beyond.

[eloisegrant]

What are the Chances? (III)

Summary: Jake has an existential breakdown and the lads and Layla feel bad.

A/N: I could never write Layla and Y/N off as enemies! So if y’all were hoping to see a fight go down, it won’t in this storyline because Layla is too sweet.

Warnings: Angst. Angst. Angst. Angst. Polyamorous relationship implications. Jake is down bad but he deserves it.

Word count: 2.7k

*gif isn’t Jake but it represents how he feels in this chapter*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(How would you react if you found out the man you have been falling head over heels for has a wife?

You become a bigger person.)

As you stood there, aimlessly looking between Jake and the woman by the apartment door you couldn’t help but feel your stomach drop. She was just as surprised as you were, while Jake’s face drained pale. You didn’t hear the name that fell from her lips and chose to back away from Jake.

You wiped the tears from your cheeks, while smudging the wetness of your fingers on your coat. “I’m sorry, miss…”

“Layla.” She awkwardly puts her name out, lifting an eyebrow to you. She wasn’t infuriated or fuming, rather, she was confused. But you already knew it. You stepped out of line. The reason why Jake would disappear, the reason why he told you to keep your distance at times. He was already committed.

As you followed her hands that placed the keys back in her bag, you spotted the item that would just break you even further. A ring.

Not only was he in a relationship, she was his wife. God you couldn’t help but feel ridiculous. The way you were so eager to let him know your feelings and how you felt during the day. So naive and so pathetic.

“I.. didn’t know.” Was all that left your lips as your eyes met Layla’s. Her brows furrowed at you and wanted to ask what exactly you meant but you continued, “I promise I- I’m going to…” Your voice trembled at the thought of what you were about to say. “I am going to leave you both alone.” You look at her with a genuine pleading behind it.

As those words leave your mouth you take one last look at Jake who was clasping his hands, like they were empty and needy. But this wasn’t right.

You weren’t going to allow yourself to ruin their marriage. At least for Layla’s sake.

“I’m sorry but what do you mean?” Layla finally asks.

“Nothing happened, but I… I did admire him.” The words were true yet painful. You lower your head as you make for the door. Making sure you didn’t look back or hear any words that may have been spoken under their breath.

Layla, on the other hand, was still left shocked. She didn’t even know what to make out of what just happened. Marc or Steven was just in here, hugging the woman and then… that. So she needed answers. Proper ones.

“I swear, I left for a week and come back to this.” She drops her bag by the table and ties her hair up.

Jake was so broken, wanting to rewind time and just separate the parties again. He’ll be happy and they’ll be happy. But it was too late. He stops fronting and lets the others take over.

Marc fronts, he heard everything and couldn’t help but feel responsible. So when Layla comes asking for the truth he doesn't hesitate to let her know.

“Let’s sit down.”

—

“So wait, let me get this straight…” Layla adjusts her seat while her hands cup her tea. “You have another alter, his name is Jake. You just found out today. And that lady was Jake’s… girlfriend?”

“Well no, it never reached that point he says.” Marc shakes his head. “Apparently he likes her a lot but never got the chance to tell her, except for tonight.”

Layla was in disbelief, how could she or the other two not have noticed such a revelation? But, she couldn’t help but feel for Jake. And you.

“I didn’t want this situation to ruin us, Layla.” Marc moves closer to her and cups her cheeks between his hands. “I don’t want to lose you again.”

“Now why would you lose me? You make me happy.” She cups his cheek back, leaning into a soft kiss. A small smile creeped to her lips.

“You make me happy, too, baby.” He leans his onto her forehead. As all of this went down, Steven couldn’t help but get in on the conversation. Switching right before Layla’s eyes.

“Hi Steven.” She smiles at him, rubbing his cheeks as she pulls him closer.

“Oh, Layla, darling…” Steven plops a light kiss onto her, eager to have Layla near once again. They were in love, Marc and Steven to Layla. There was no denying it. However, there was the pestering thought in Layla’s mind.

“You know… I can’t help but feel like we are being selfish.” She gently nudges Steven away, grabbing her cup yet again.

“I think I… know what you mean.” Steven stands up to grab a cup for himself, too.

“If what Marc says is true, about (your name) and Jake…” she stands up and follows Steven to the kitchen, leaning against the kitchen top. “Shouldn’t Jake be happy too?”

“Darling, isn’t that complicated?” Steven fills his cup to the brim, allowing the tea to infuse the water. “You and her, with one body…” He gestures to himself.

“Okay sure, it will be complicated-“

“We don’t wanna lose you.”

“What is all this talk about losing me?” Layla was a sweetheart, too much for her own good. It’s as if the angels incarnated all into her with how sweet this woman was. “It will be complicated but I want Jake to be happy too. I want all of you to be happy.” She prompts Steven to spin around, wrapping her arms around his waist.

“What are you suggesting, love?” Steven looks down into her glossy brown eyes.

“Jake deserves happiness and if she will give him that, he deserves her.” She plops her chin onto his chest. The two stood like that for a while until Layla pushed off. “I’d like to talk to him, Steven.” She asks softly.

With a quick nod, Steven looks up and switches to Jake.

He fixes his footing and looks down at Layla who also shifts slightly backwards, “Hi Jake.” She extends her hand out to shake with him, to which he openly accepts. “Marc told me you already know a lot about me… about them.” She tilts her head to the side, a small smirk peeking from her lips.

All Jake did was nod. Stoic as usual.

Layla takes notice and continues speaking, “Perhaps you can tell me about yourself, about (your name).”

“Why does it matter?” Jake’s voice was clearly not Marc or Steven, and neither was his stance. “I’m just a made up thing. It doesn’t matter… it doesn’t matter…” He was clearly belittling his existence. His voice got quieter, less intense. “I don’t matter.”

“But she made you feel like you mattered, didn’t she?” Layla felt empathetic for the man, he clearly wasn’t happy about how the day turned out.

Underneath his breath, he managed to let out a, “More than anything.” Barely catching Layla’s attention, but it did.

With a weak smile, she places her hand on his shoulder, “Don’t let my relationship with Marc and Steven stop you from forming your own, Jake.”

Layla’s comforting tone of voice made Jake’s eyes spark for a moment. The words that he wouldn’t have expected to come from her. “You- you mean that?”

With a light nod, Layla pats his shoulder. “If someone told me I couldn’t be with Marc or Steven… I’d be torn.” She steps back to her cup of tea, clasping it in her hands.

Jake’s awestruck couldn’t help but shed tears of happiness at her words. He looks to the reflective surface of the toaster to his right, seeing Steven nod and agree with Layla.

“Boy… I can tell why they love you so much.” Jake pulls Layla in for a friendly hug. As his compliment reaches Layla’s ears, she couldn’t help but feel a warm, sweet sensation forming in her.

She loved Marc and Steven enough and understood their case enough, to allow Jake’s desires to be heard. Marc, in the back of their mind, had his respect and admiration for Layla enhanced tenfold.

Jake’s triumphant smile turned sour, “..But, I don’t think she’ll see me again.” He releases the hug and moves towards the door, slowly debating whether he should run down the hall and tell you everything about him.

“Hey I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, Layla is my Alter’s wife. We collectively agreed we will stay polyamorous with each other.”

Yeah, no. Not the best thing to say. Especially with how you went from angry to mellow in the same hour. He couldn’t risk it.

As Jake stood there, motionless, Steven’s voice booms through the side mirror. “Leave that to us mate.”

Layla comes up from behind him and turns him around, “We will get her to talk to you, hm?” As if all the genuine smiles in the world combined with Layla’s, Jake could tell they were telling the truth.

With an abrupt nod, he allows Marc to take control, agreeing to stay in the backseat until things get a bit less complicated.

—

Layla and Marc decided to reach you on Tuesday night , four days after the fact. They needed to carefully plan out how this was going to happen, what they were going to say and who was gonna say it.

Steven tried his best to convince Jake that it would be okay, that she would understand if she truly cared. That only made Jake more anxious because what if she didn’t?

For what it’s worth, he wasn’t ready to find out.

So as Layla held Marc’s hand down the hallway to your flat, they confidently knocked.

And knocked.

And knocked some more.

Absolutely, no response. Pin Drop silence.

It was Marc’s turn to knock until Layla decided to push her ear against the door, to try and hear any sense of movement.

Nothing.

Just then the watchman for the flats comes out from out of nowhere. Breaking their focus.

“You’re not going to find her, she left.” He continues sweeping the hallway, lifting his gaze slightly towards the two.

“Sorry, left?” Layla moves closer to the man.

“Aye, left. Pretty dame made sure she was out by Sunday.” His eyes directed back onto the floor, shaking his head.

It left the two in shock and speechless, they stayed still until they turned to look at eachother. “Would you have any idea where she went?” Marc questions.

“No, they don’t disclose that type of information.”

And with that, he leaves. Layla was stuck and couldn’t figure out what to do. Just then, Jake fronts and begins worrying nonstop.

“God, I knew it. She left. She’s gone. Fantastic.” He paces back and forth, in front of the now empty flat door. “What was I thinking? I should have just left it alone! Not let you know!” He points at Layla, “Hide it from Marc, Steven and her!” Exasperated would be an understatement. Jake never really was in touch with his emotions, but for you it wasn’t the same. He couldn’t help but feel like this was all his fault. He let his stupidity ruin you and them.

Layla sees Jake’s frustration and stops him in his tracks, “Hey, listen. We are not stopping here, yeah?” Her hands plop on his shoulders. “How about her place of work? Hm?” Her tone is soft, trying to calm Jake down.

With a quick blink, Jake thinks thoroughly. “All I know is she works in one of the buildings by the 34th.”

“Okay, okay, good. We start there, yeah?” She hushes Jake who fights back any other emotions he was about to blurt out. He quickly allows Steven to front.

Steven was wondering what their next move was while Layla proudly states that they were going on a stakeout on 34th street. With excitement, Steven banters along “Alright Jake, we got your back!”

—

Wednesday morning.

Layla and Steven, strut down the 32nd street. Looking down on their phones to try and find the 34th.

“Nice touch.” Layla chuckles out a compliment at Steven who was wearing a white cap and black shades. Obviously, paired with a Jacket. He looked adorable and she couldn’t help but take notice

“Many thanks, love.”

They moved with caution, following what Google Map was directing in order to reach the 34th. In about 10 minutes, they finally reach the beginning of the street.

It wasn’t all too long, but it wasn’t a small area either. Skyscrapers filled with different offices crowded either side of the street.

“Where in heaven are we going to start?” Steven closes his phone as he looks at Layla who’s eyes were roaming about. Trying to catch a glimpse of the lady she saw on Thursday evening.

Thanks to her keen eyes, she spots you by the coffee shop across the street. “There!” She whispers to Steven, tapping his shoulder lightly. He looks to where she was guiding him.

“Well, Jake sure knows how to pick them.” Layla could finally see your face properly, though you were across the street, it wasn’t that wide anyway.

Steven nods at Layla’s words, you were a beauty. They were both sure there was more to you than just your looks though. Steven’s connection to Jake was present because he felt flashbacks of how you touched their cheek, how you pulled him into the dance circle, how you straightened their curly hair and even that one time you shared an umbrella under the rain. Layla took note of how Steven’s eyes were shut and asked him what was wrong.

“Jake was truly happy with her.” Steven opens his eyes, slightly under the influence of Jake’s emotions. He turns to face Layla, “He needs this.”

Jake on the other hand, was watching too from the backseat. His heart, aching to have you near again. He found it insane how the moment the truth about his feelings came out, he lost you. It’s as if he was destined to be alone and angry at the world.

With a quick payment to the cashier, a croissant and cup of coffee in your hand—you were off, back into the building next door.

“Alright so, the plan is, we wait till office hours are done and get her to talk.” Steven prompts, clasping his hands together.

“Honey, it sounds like you wanna kidnap her.” Layla, concerned, tries to change the word choice, “We’re just gonna approach her and let her know the truth.”

“Yeah of course, of course.” He laughs at himself, “Shall we grab a drink in the meantime? It’s only 2.”

The two reach the cafe you were in, not too long ago and sit close to the window. That way, they could approach you after work. Whenever that was. They were basing it on Dolly Parton’s song, 9 to 5, so anytime after then would probably be their best bet.

—

It was 5:35 pm, Layla and Steven were on their 3rd cup of coffee and tea still waiting for you to come out. They weren’t sure if there was another door you could come out of, but based on the building’s design, it was unlikely.

Then, on cue, you step out of the office. Hair still neatly tied into a bun, with your aesthetic office attire and purse on hand. Making your way to the edge of the sidewalk, you stopped. You were probably about to book a car perhaps or check the weather to see if taking a bus was okay.

Layla and Steven began moving in your direction. But before they could reach you, a white van pulls up and yanks you inside. They couldn’t even react as the van drove away in record time.

You shook and screamed but it was no use. The men inside the van were too strong and the next thing you knew, you were bound and duct taped on the mouth.

You tried kicking but there wasn’t anything you could actually do. The man to your left could only chuckle at your actions, “Don’t worry, doll.” He tries to cup your cheek but you move away from him. He turns to his other colleague and asks him to alert the boss.

He lights a cigar and dials the mobile, “Yeah, hello?” He turns to you, while you give him the saltiest look with your eyes. “…Tell the rest we got Moonboy’s girl.”

————————————

AHH I hope you guys like where this is going! Part 4 is going to be a doozy, you best believe ❤️

Let me know what you guys think and if you wanna be in the taglist for the next chap!

Taglist:

@laters-gators12

@dopeqff

@blackholegladiator

@daddysfavoritesexkitten

@brekkers-desigirl

@dev-angeline

@cleverzonkwombatsludge

@ohshesalot

@buckistan

@milkywqze

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@m4nd0l0r

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@hoodedbirdie

@guyinachair27

@bex-tk1

@moonlight-and-stars

@kingsmanperfecthartwin

@elliaze

@mona-has-friends

@urlocalgeek

Sorry if I missed any!

Part 4:

Part 5:

[lunarticxenia]

Moon Signs Pt. 1

My take on moon signs based off people I know! Now personally, I tend to have more strong opinions on my favorite moon signs than favorite sun signs. I feel like moon signs really indicate more about a person’s personality than their sun sign, imo. It does rule emotions and behavior after all. With sun signs I struggle with picking favorites because I do genuinely have people I like of every zodiac sign. I just go by the number of people I like from each zodiac sign. Anyhoo, here’s my view on each moon sign! 

Note: These are p long bc I have such strong thoughts on moon signs so I’m splitting it into two parts. :) 

🍂 Aries Moon: Ahhh, my moon sign. I won’t be biased though, I promise. So Aries moons based off other people I know is that we low-key got anger issues LMAO. Every single Aries moon I’ve met besides myself has anger issues, with the exception of one person and she still gets irritated easily. Aries Moons are also extremely sensitive, and they tend to be overlooked for that since they’re fire signs. I’ve found that a lot of what they get angry about has to do with their feelings, if they feel they’ve been wronged this really can make them angry as they are super sensitive. They also get angry when they feel like people aren’t listening to them, as they take this very personally. I’ve also noticed that Aries moons are EXTREMELY honest, they will tell it how it is and they are extremely blunt. They don’t like to beat around the bush, and they are very direct with how they feel about something. Aries moons are also extremely passionate and spontaneous especially in relationships; they’re the ones who wanna kiss in the rain and ride horses into the sunset, that is if you can get them to settle down with you LMAO. Nah all jokes, they’re picky about who they want, but once they really fall for someone it’s very hard for them to let go. They’re also so competitive, they will play dirty. My grandpa used to let me win in checkers as a kid, my dad (who’s an Aries moon) NEVER let me win. He said me losing would help build character LMFAO. He just didn’t wanna lose.They also have strong personalities and can be SUPER impulsive. Also, if they wanna do something, they WILL do it. No one is gonna stop them. If they wanna go somewhere at 3am, they’re doing it. Sorry. You can’t stop them. LMAO. Aries moons also love to be in touch with their inner child, my dad is an Aries moon and bought himself an arcade machine out of nowhere LMAO. I also like to collect shells and watch Disney movies to remind me of my childhood. They also tend to change their views and opinions on things a lot, and mind you they have intense emotions about these things. So it can be hard to keep up w them. 

🍂 Taurus Moon: Taurus moons are just so calm, it’s scary LMAO. I know a few of them, and even if they’re anxious about something you can never tell. They always have this calm demeanor and just seem so unbothered by everything. Taurus moons also LOVE money and the finer things in life. The male Taurus moons I know work a lot just so they can have a lot of money. One of them literally said to me “Money talks” after explaining to me why they work 7 days a week, 12 hours a day doing two jobs. The crazy thing is, despite doing all that extra work, he just seemed so unbothered about it LMAO. The female Taurus moons I know tend to love really expensive clothes and dressing up. This Taurus moon I work with has such nice clothes and always dresses like she’s on a Vogue cover. Like I said, Taurus moons LOVE money and the finer things in life like expensive clothes. If they aren’t the types to dress up or be workaholics, they desire comfort. They would rather lay in bed and take hot bathes than be bothered to do all that extra stuff. They also might like to eat out at expensive restaurants, and are “foodies”. They also might be big lovers of music and have lots of different music tastes. Also, Taurus moons? STUBBORN. Good luck trying to get them to change their mind on something. Also, despite them wanting all the luxuries and comfort of life, they are SUPER grounded. They do not live in a dream world, they see life for what it is, and prefer to be on the ground than have their heads in the clouds. Also, Taurus moons, I’m sorry, but y’all can be lazy. I work with three of them, and they can be lazy. They will not do more than the bare minimum. Also, their anger is low-key scary. Especially since it can come out of nowhere since they’re calm all the time, you never know when they’re angry and if you catch them at the wrong time... well, rip. They also tend to be introverted- even if they’re social, you will not know anything about them unless you’re besties with them or related to them. Doesn’t matter how well you know them, they don’t air their dirty laundry and keep their private life private. Also one last thing, omg these people sing all the time. They love singing to themselves, every single one I’ve met does that LMAO. Anyway, love my Taurus moons. 

🍂 Gemini Moon: Gemini moons love to make people laugh LMAO and love to just sit down and have good talks with people. Their minds NEVER stop working. Good luck trying to get them to stop talking once they know you. They can and will talk about anything for hours. Now, I do admire that, but sometimes I just wanna relax and they won’t stop talking to me LMFAO. My dad’s girlfriend is a Gemini moon and at family gatherings she loves to dance around and try to get everyone else to dance. I find that Gemini moons are very active and love to move around, and try to get everyone to have fun. Definitely the life of the party. They’re super amusing and also love to tell jokes and funny stories. Now not all of them are extroverts especially if they have an earth sun sign. So that is something to consider. My cousin is a Gemini moon and tends to be more introverted, however, once she’s comfortable around someone and knows someone she’s super goofy and loves to make people laugh. Gemini moons also love to learn, they’re always teaching themselves about something. My cousin who’s a Gemini moon just randomly started teaching herself how to do sign language (she’s good at it also)! These people are also SUPER adaptable, they can get along with any kind of personality and can adapt to any situation. I’ve also noticed that they love to playfully roast people and annoy them LMAO. I have noticed that they struggle with reading the room, they tend to just continue to annoy someone and can take it too far, which can get kind of annoying. They’re also extremely curious and are always asking questions. They love to ask random questions without any context. It’s a quirk a lot of them have. Trying to tell a story to them can be frustrating because if you mention certain terms they’ll ask you what they mean LMFAO. My dad was telling a story about how he used surfing to explain physics concepts in class and his girlfriend asked what the concepts were and what they mean. Also, they’re really good at giving advice. These people would make great psychologists imo. This girl I used to talk to (who’s a Gemini moon) actually is becoming a psychologist, so there you go LMAO. 

🍂Cancer Moon: Oh Cancer moons...you guys are so sensitive. They feel everything and anything. I haven’t met a Cancer moon that isn’t an empath. They are extremely good at reading other people and sensing their motives. My mother is a Cancer moon, and she’s always been able to tell who’s toxic in my life. She doesn’t even have to meet them either, just based off of stories I tell her, she can pick it up right away. Now, everyone always says Cancer moons are super close with their family and that’s definitely not always the case. The Cancer moons I’ve met have actually had a lot of problems with their family. Now the thing that I’ve noticed with these placements is that despite how toxic their family is, they always stick by them. Even if they’re not close. So I wouldn’t say they’re all super close with their families, but they always stick up for them, which can be an issue if their family is toxic. Also, Cancer moons, SUPER MOODY. I’m sorry but like I’m a Cancer sun and they’re ten times more moody than I am LMFAO. I’ve always said they act more like the stereotypical Cancer than Cancer suns. Also, this is a super underrated placement for humor. Every Cancer moon I’ve met has been super funny. Also, a super underrated placement for anger issues. Everyone says oh yeah Aries moons have anger issues, like yes, BUT HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN CANCER MOON ANGER?! Y’all Taylor Swift is a Cancer moon and wrote a whole album about how fed up she was about the media mistreating her and the whole Kimye thing (rightfully so) but y’all see my point. They can and will fight you. They also tend to be introverted, even if they’re social, (which I rarely see), they would much rather keep to themselves. I’ve also noticed that they’re very nostalgic a lot. My Cancer moon ex used to just randomly go through childhood photos and would show them to me. They’re also EXTREMELY protective over people they love, they will KILL for the people they love. They also love to talk about their dream homes and interior decorating a lot? My Cancer moon ex was OBSESSED with coming up with his dream house and would literally draw out diagrams for me to see. My mother too, she wants to redecorate her apartment and was showing me all the potential furniture that was gonna be put in. Oh Cancer moons, LMAO. 

🍂 Leo Moon: Oh Leo moons. You guys can be so dramatic LMAO. Every Leo moon I’ve met is so dramatic; these are the types of people who get up and move around when telling a story and also do dramatic hand gestures. These are the types of people who post a black screen in middle school on Snapchat saying “Don’t hmu.” LMAO. My Leo moon friend gets so mad when I make that joke, but it’s so true. These people are also naturally super creative, the Leo moons I know love to decorate and draw. Even if they don’t do any outright creative hobbies, they have a creative streak to them. It’s weird though because despite them being very dramatic when it comes to them being angry, they struggle with expressing their personal problems to other people. (This however can be changed with other placements, but I’ve found this to be true in many cases). They don’t want people to think that they’re weak, so they put up a tough front to hide that they’re hurting. Also, Leo moons, are indeed the hype friends. My Leo moon friends gas up my Instagram posts so much. They’re also extremely loyal and don’t like to leave people out, they hate that kind of shit. They’re also extremely accepting of others, my Leo moon friend was the first person I came out to, and they accepted me right away. They also love to take pictures of EVERYTHING. Like when you go out with them, they will make you wait before eating your food so they can take video of your food together LMAO. They love to capture every moment, I personally find it very endearing. Also, a lot of people say Leo moons are super cocky. I don’t find this to be true. They can come off that way, but I’ve found they tend to actually be pretty insecure and they try to hide it by coming off as confident. I feel like Leo moons tend to put on a show a lot to hide how they truly feel, which makes it hard to get to know them. It makes me sad because they truly are such kind hearted people and all they want is to feel validation. I also found that they love to go above and beyond to make sure everyone else is happy and tend to put themselves last. I wish y’all didn’t do that, you deserve to be happy too. ;( 

🍂 Virgo Moon: Workaholics. That’s how I’m starting this LMAO. My friend is a Virgo moon and works her ass off. She goes above and beyond in school for starters. For this anatomy course we had together, she sent me a whole diagram she made of the human brain on Notability and it was so intricately made. She also works her ass off at her job and takes care of her siblings. I feel like this falls into Virgo placements putting others before themselves. Virgo moons are definitely the types to be like this. They want to make everyone happy and they want to feel useful so they do all these extra things to feel that way. Virgo moons are also super smart, and have the best study methods. Low-key jealous. They have this incredible drive and are always on top of things and have a routine. Also Virgo moons LOVE animals. My friend who’s a Virgo moon, works at a dog sitting business and has 6 pets at home. They LOVE animals. They also like honesty and bluntness; they will provide you with that as well. They don’t like beating around the bush or lying to make other people feel better. You wanna know if you look bad in a dress? Ask a Virgo moon, LMFAO. I’ve also found that they struggle with wanting to be perfect all the time, and struggle with anxiety. As I said, they want to be the best at everything, and this can be a big source of anxiety for them. These people also find themselves attracting people who they want to “fix”. They also give amazing advice and are super reliable. Also, last minute plans? They HATE them. Want a Virgo moon to hate you? Try making spontaneous plans with them LMAO. Virgo moons also have great memories; they’ll remember every little detail about you. Also Virgo moons are the types to take charge in a group project and run the whole thing because they don’t trust anyone. Virgo moons also always appear to be calm and collected, even though many of them frequently deal with anxiety a lot. Also, they’re low-key underrated for humor. They have a very dry and self-deprecating sense of humor LMAO. They also go above and beyond in relationships because they enjoy seeing the people they love being happy. 

Anyhoo, this wraps up part one!  Also these are just my opinions, so don’t get offended I tried to praise and drag all of them equally <3 

Part 2 here. 

[rist-ix]

Hey Rist! How've you been? I'm curious. How would you rank Valtor's different voices for the 3 versions(RAI, 4Kids & Nick)? I was looking at S3 of Winx Club (I missed Valtor lol) & I was curious abt his voices for the different versions. So, I watched a bit of S3E5 in all 3 and ranked them from most to least fave. I ranked them: 1) Nick, 2) RAI, 3) 4Kids. Nick's version is so.. so Valtor, 4Kids seems a bit (a lot) too extra, and Rai's version is a bit (just a bit) gruff. What do you think, Rist?

That’s actually pretty much the same as I remember liking them, but my memory has failed me before so I’m editing a crappy little compilation together. And there's really only one scene I could have used for that without losing y’all’s respect. (Fair warning tho the audio trails over scene cuts occasionally so there's some weird jump cuts with sudden noise, but whatever)

From your worst to your best we have:

4Kids Valtor

Ignoring the dollar-store-James-bond music at the beginning, I quite like Valtor's theme here. The ominous cembalo cords remind me of cheesy old fantasy-horror movies and black castles during very dramatic lightning storms, and I honestly feel like the pompous, dramatic 4kids voice fits very well for that. By itself I feel like it’s far too over the top (which is generally 4kids motto), and also my least favorite of the three, but it does have a certain unapologetic arrogance going for it. It might not rank well for me compared to the other ones, but it’s still authentic and fun. Peak gay vampire energy here.

Something I noticed is the pretty big dialogue change here, where he states that he's warning bloom out of an “old, long forgotten curtesy”. I tend to dislike changes from the original script, but honestly? That’s such a cool detail. I feel like that adds a lot to his character pretty early one, no matter if he genuinely means it or is just baiting Bloom.

Rai Valtor (also known as Cinélume)

You are absolutely right, very deep voice. I am looking respectfully 👀👀👀

Compared to 4kids, this Valtor is a lot more subdued. The voice acting is EXCELLENT, the little chuckle he gives when he recounts what people say about him is peak Valtor, pure irony and ridicule. I tend to forget him a lot, if I’m being honest, because he's not as notable as ExtraDramaQueen-4Kids!Valtor, and not as radically different as the Nick version, but he is still very much a very interesting middle ground between them. If I’m being completely honest he's actually my favorite of the three, now that I think about it. His dialogue is closest to the original and I tend to imagine this voice when I write fanfics, and even if you can’t hear it in this example, he's got a really memorable way to speak when he's pitting the Trix against each other or trying to soothe their egos. There's something really manipulative, threatening in his tone sometimes, no matter which lines he gets.

But it is a close call with your number 1.

Nick Valtor

(First of all, Bloom's voice is somehow stealing the show for me here. In the beginning she really sounds like she's scared, in pain, and she's got that rough edge to her tone when she's angry. I don’t usually bother with the nick dub, but damn. Maybe I should.)

I’m not exaggerating when I say that this Valtor is easily the most refined of the three. More subdued, like the Rai version, but not as deep as either of the previous two. It sometimes reminds me of Macaque from The Monkey Kid, and that’s a huge compliment. This Valtor has a quiet, insidious danger to him that is subtle yet very present. He says “I'll do what needs to be done” and you don’t doubt it for a second. There's that weird blend of lighthearted indifference in his voice which makes him distinct from the others, and it helps to emphasize that he's completely different from Darkar and the Trix: he analyzes and understands his enemies in a way that basically guarantees him victory, no matter the opponent. I wouldn’t say I like it more than the Rai Valtor — this one could use a little more drama and pomp — but he's objectively the highest quality here.

But what’s this?

It’s GermanDub!Valtor with a steel chair!!!

Shut up I’m totally right about this one the god of voice acting told me so

I am not taking criticism!

My boy my king my one true love, it’s the slightly raspy, cutting and incredibly heinous voice of my childhood dub! He may be speaking a bit faster to fit all those long german words into such a short shot, but he pulls it off MAGNIFICENTLY. Similar to Nick's it’s not as deep as I’d imagine from seeing his face, but he has a harshness to his words that does not speak of subtle threat but of open hostility, clad in polite words. He's here for a fight, no matter with whom, and while he may not get that on this day he leaves no doubt that eventually, he'll wipe the floor with them. His voice influenced me a lot during Sparked, even if I didn’t really imagine it when he had dialogue. Just the character of it is such a vibe, this slightly impatient thirst for violence he somehow manages to pour into his long game.

10/10.

[ultrone]

EAGER TO PLEASE

♡ top!virgin!gerri fields x experienced!reader

genre: smut – (best) friends with benefits

wc: 2.3k+

summary: Your best friend was urged to lose her virginity, and as the good friend that you are, you offered to teach her how to do it the right way.

warnings: MINORS DNI +18, corruption (?), hot kisses, breast/nipple play, oral & fingering (r receiving), hickeys, r guiding/telling gerri what to do.

note: i think i remember seeing a prompt or something about this a long time ago and when i remembered about it i had to write it about gerri 😩 hope y’all like it <3

please do not translate, copy and paste, or repost my work anywhere. likes, comments, and re-blogs are always appreciated tho <33

Gerri was desperate.

It was almost her second year of university and she still hadn't lost her virginity, and even though you always told her that it didn’t matter, that it would happen when it had to happen, she disagreed with you and told you that you were biased because you had already lost it.

Unlike Gerri, you were lucky enough to have lost your virginity in high school, and thanks to that, you had a lot of experience up your sleeve, so it wasn't rare for you to sleep with a couple of people every other week, an activity that Gerri truly envied.

It was a Friday night, and since there were no parties or things to do that same day, Gerri and you decided to have a movie night. It was during the second film that a sex scene brought up the frequently discussed topic between the two of you.

“Ugh, a girl can only dream,” Gerri said in a sigh while chewing on a gummy worm.

If you were being honest with yourself, you would have to admit that Gerri was a very beautiful girl. Yes, you were both best friends, but that didn’t mean that you were blind. For several months now, listening to Gerri's desire to lose her virginity made you unable to help but think about what would happen if you took her virginity. Is she a top or a bottom? Is she a good kisser? How would her soft hands feel all over your body? Is she really as eager as she makes it seem? All those unanswered questions left you no choice but to suggest a very risky idea to her.

“You know, if you really wanna lose your virginity so badly then you should lose it with me, I mean, we're best friends and I have a lot of experience after all. It’d be a great opportunity for you to learn.” You offered in a joking tone, hoping that the girl would get the hint.

The moment the sentence left your mouth, Gerri's face turned to you at high speed, eyes wide and mouth half-open.

“Wait… Really?” She asked genuinely, biting the inner part of her cheek.

“Well yeah, that’s what best friends are for, am I right?” you asked, letting out an awkward chuckle, surprised at how quickly you managed to convince her. “I guess she truly is desperate,” you thought.

“Wha- well- sure,” she stuttered, “that’d be nice,” she said with a nervous but excited smile.

With that said, you took the initiative and grabbed the remote control to turn off the tv, then you removed all the snacks from the bed and started to play some background music to ease the tension that had formed between the two of you.

“So… where do we start?” She asked timidly, fidgeting with her fingers.

Once you noticed this, you gently grabbed her hands and caressed her knuckles with your thumbs, “you know we don’t have to do this right? I was only giving you the choice but if you changed your mind then that’s totally okay,” you reassured her, “we can pretend this conversation never happened.”

“No, no. I want to, I just don’t know what to do or where to start.” She confessed. “You’re the boss.” She said jokingly trying to ease the tension.

You chuckled. “Okay, then. We can always stop if you don’t feel comfortable though.” You said giving her a little squeeze on the hands. She replied with a nod.

Unbeknownst to you, Gerri shared in some way the feelings you felt for her. She thought you were gorgeous and had always wondered what it would feel like to be on top or underneath you. Often daydreaming about the two of you doing things that she knew would never happen — until now.

“I think we should start by kissing, don’t you think?” You asked, getting closer to her and trapping her between your body and the headboard.

Gerri couldn't wait for another instant and threw herself at you, pressing your lips together in a passionate kiss. You gasped in surprise at her urgency but quickly adjusted to the kiss, returning it with the same vigor. You slipped your arms around her neck and she wrapped hers around your waist, pressing you closer to her until your chest met hers. She sucked on your lower lip and caressed it sensually with her tongue asking for passage, and you granted it with no hesitation. While your tongues intertwined and rubbed against each other, Gerri began to slide her hands from your waist to your ass and gave it gentle, slow squeezes. You bit her lower lip in response, eliciting a throaty groan from her. Gerri couldn't hold back anymore, she needed to feel your warm pussy against her mouth right now, so she started unbuttoning your shorts.

You placed your hands on top of hers halting her movements and broke the kiss, your lips remaining a breath away from hers.

“I wanna make you feel good,” she whispered breathlessly, her hot breath brushing against your lips.

“I know, I can't wait.” You confessed and stared at her through low-lidded eyes. “But first, you have to get me all wet and ready, yeah?”

“Show me how.” She husked out, resting her hands on your thighs and giving them a little squeeze.

Still straddling her lap, you moved away from her face and grabbed the hem of your blouse, pulling it up your body seductively until it was completely off. When you saw Gerri's face, you couldn't help but smirk at the sight of her hypnotized eyes staring so intently at your breasts, which were being covered by a black lace bra. She gulped loudly and made eye contact with you.

“Can I touch them?” She asked hesitantly, darting her eyes between the two.

“Be my guest.” You responded with a smirk.

She slowly raised her hands, cheeks blushing as she cupped your covered breasts with them. She gave them a little squeeze and then proceeded to massage them more thoroughly. She crept one of her hands behind your back and brought your breasts close to her face, placing it directly against them. She nuzzled her nose against them before starting to give them open-mouthed kisses, nibbling and tugging at the edge of your bra. She slipped her hands under the bra and felt stiff nipples against her palm, eliciting a low grunt from her, which you felt vibrating against your chest.

“You’re surprisingly good at this,” you panted, feeling her smile between kisses. “Take my bra off,” you asked with urgency, tired of her slow teasing.

She did as you said and got rid of the garment. “Now play with them,” you husked, receiving a nod from her.

The moment her mouth closed on one of your nipples, your hand flew to the back of her hair, tugging at it softly. With her hands on your back pressing you impossibly closer, Gerri flicked her wet tongue over your exposed nub. “Y-yes– hng– just like that,” you slurred. Her tongue was so warm, pressing and circling desperately around your erect nipple, giving it soft nibbles. “Don’t forget about the other one,” you reminded her amidst groans. Attentive to your commands, she resumed stroking your opposite breast, gently pinching and tugging at your nipple with her fingers while savouring the other one with her mouth and tongue. You felt a wet patch growing on your panties.

Gerri held your waist tightly and nimbly flipped you under her, towering over you. She gave you a lingering look and then continued on with her previous endeavours, making you let out little whimpers.

“Can I eat your pussy now?” She said with your tit in her mouth, batting her eyelashes.

You whimpered softly at her bluntness, followed by a soft chuckle, finding her eagerness funny but arousing as well. “Patience,” you groaned. “Come here,” you muttered as you cupped her jaw with both hands and pulled her up to you, crushing your lips together in a smothering kiss. She kissed you back, open-mouthed and with fierce lips. “Mark my body,” you said breathlessly against her mouth, and with one last hungry suck on your lower lip, she released your lips and began to deposit hot kisses — and marks — on your body, working her way down from your neck to your chest, alternating between each sensitive breast, then reaching your sternum and eventually landing on your lower abdomen. “How am I doing?” she asked genuinely. You clutched her hair tightly in your hands as she continued to leave searing marks on your belly. “Good, mhm, s’good,” you slurred with your eyes closed.

Gerri began to run her tongue along the edge of your shorts, giving small kisses to your flesh as she began to fiddle with the hem of your shorts with her fingers. She shifted her attention up to your flushed face, asking for your consent. Once she saw you nodding your head with an encouraging smile, she began to undo the buttons and removed the garment completely.

“You’re wearing too many clothes, I wanna see you.” You said, making her realize that, in fact, she hadn’t yet taken off any of her clothes.

“Shit- of course, sorry,” she clumsily apologized while letting out an awkward chuckle, and quickly discarded all of her clothes. She carefully spread your legs apart and returned to her previous position while delicately stroking your thighs. Exhilarated shaky breaths left her lips as she stared intently at your dripping wet core, all she could think was "I did that."

You helplessly watched as her gaze wandered over your body, returning her gaze with the same fascination. “You can start now,” you said eagerly. “Patience, Y/n.” She responded with a cocky smile, making you roll your eyes at her.

She began to suck and kiss the skin on your legs, working her way up from your knees to your inner thighs, getting closer and closer to your beating pussy.

“You know, I should start teaching you the most important lesson: don’t tease,” you joked breathlessly while putting your hands on her hair, trying to pull her closer to your core.

“But that’s no fun,” she said as she gave you a hickey an inch away from your cunt.

“Please, just st-”

You got interrupted by Gerri's warm tongue giving you a long and hard lick all the way from your throbbing hole to your swollen clit. “Oh — fuck!” you said between gasps, receiving a groan from her that vibrated against your nub deliciously. “Make circles around my clit,” you commanded and she nodded. Gerri began to swirl her tongue around your clitoris vigorously, working it at different speeds. Then, she began to experiment by grasping it between her lips and sucking on it, all the while pressing it with her tongue and giving it little nibbles. This made you let out a sharp whine, causing the girl to feel even more eager to please you, loving the sounds that left your lips. “Shit! So good,” you moaned.

As she continued to devour your pussy, she began to tease your throbbing hole with two of her digits, slowly running them through your soaked folds, spreading them open and collecting your juices on her fingers. Her other hand remained on your thigh, squeezing it harshly. “Please…” you begged, and with that, Gerri thrusted her wet fingers in your entrance. “You feel so good, Y/n.” She murmured against your clitoris, making you moan even harder. She started to move her fingers at a relentless pace while still playing shamelessly with your clit, groaning here and there so you could feel the vibrations against it. Her fingers kept reaching deeper and deeper into your cunt until she touched the spot she was looking for and started to curl her fingers desperately against it. Breathless groans left your lips as you pulled her face impossibly closer to your cunt, taking her hand from your thigh and putting it on one of your breasts so she could play with it. “You’re– fuck– you’re doin’ great Gerri,” you managed to choke out, rocking your hips unmercifully against her mouth and fingers. “Your pussy feels so tight and gummy around my fingers Y/n,” she husked while continuing to rub her fingertips against your g-spot.

Your body tensed up and you started to lose your rhythm, feeling the coil in your stomach tighten. “Fuckkk– ‘m close,” you slurred with difficulty. Despite the cramps she felt, Gerri began to move her fingers and tongue even faster, feeling your pussy clench around her fingers every few seconds.

You came violently the instant she sucked on your clitoris and stroked your g-spot in perfect synchronicity. ”S-slow down, slow down,” you managed to say, broken breaths and curses leaving your mouth as she helped you ride your high, moving slower just like you told her to.

She pulled out her drenched fingers and released your over-stimulated clit with a pop, licking her lips afterwards. You looked at her through hooded eyes as she licked all the cum off her fingers, “you taste really good,” she murmured, giving you a wink.

You gave her a soft playful slap on the head and motioned her to lay next to you.

“I must admit,” you cleared your throat, “you’re a pretty fast learner,” you husked breathlessly, letting out an airy chuckle.

“Well, who knows? Maybe one day the student will surpass the master,” she joked.

“We should do this more often,” you suggested a bit hesitant.

“Yeah, we totally should,” she replied, “and next time you better teach me how to be a bottom,” she said while raising her eyebrows and biting down a smile.

“You bet I will,” you replied, attempting to hide the excitement in your voice.

[eternqlvestigiql]

Wait, Ming is still getting hate? Wtf?

I actually had my tempers under control when people went beyond the limit with Abuela Alma. Now I’m just gonna let it out.

Look, I don’t want to sound offensive in this post, but if the story isn’t for you and/or you have nothing good to say, maybe keep it to yourself? Or just say it in a manner that isn’t offensive?? I was already so done with white chicks on TikTok and Twitter and YouTube who just kept going at Abuela like, “Oh mY gOd, her trauma isn’t an excuse for her abusive behaviour” LIKE JESUS FREAKING CHRIST!!! FIRST OF ALL, nobody, I mean nobody, not even Abuela, tried to justify her actions using her trauma. She literally said, “I was so afraid to lose it, until I lost sight of who our miracle was for. We’re all broken because of me.” She didn’t say that for ya’ll to shit on her just like that. And she apologised. Right there. With zero hesitation. Without having dumb internal battles with her pride and ego. And I don’t understand why that’s not hard for people to digest.

And now Ming. How do people just so easily say that she didn’t love her daughter when she was literally all about Mei’s safety and health, so much so she believed her daughter wouldn’t make a single mistake and blamed it on everyone else possible? Like, which movie did y’all watch?

And yes, the both of them were pressurising their children. Pushing them beyond their limits. And that’s the whole fucking point of the story!! To push their kids so that they ultimately end up erupting and telling the 2 that they weren’t doing the right thing. That was the WHOLE. GODDAMN. POINT.

These are 2 women that had horrible, painful, unhealed trauma which they internalised, ignored and lived with. And for what? For nothing but wishing for the best for their families. Hoping that being perfect, not making even a single, small, teeny-tiny mistake, would help their families live happily. That’s the strongest shit someone can do. And that’s kinda just how it is for minority families.

That’s kinda just how they live. I don’t live in the West, but I’ve heard too many irl stories to know that that’s just small communities and Asian and other immigrant families doing their best. Being perfect. To be acceptable in this new world that judges them for being different, physically and culturally and what not. It’s not easy for them to understand it and change it all in one night when that’s how they were raised and that’s just how they’ve been living their whole damn life.

Yes, both movies were targeted to specific demographics, just to be more pain-inducing 🥲 but why does nobody wanna point out that both Abuela Alma and Ming had their best intentions at heart? Please, as much as it’s embarrassing, Ming didn’t fight with a school security to give her daughter some sanitary napkins, chase her daughter across the city when she was running away in fear, and run on roads barefoot, worried about her daughter, for y’all to say she didn’t even care.

They’re both strong women, that carried themselves with an amazing deal of strength and grace, and ultimately realised their mistake and apologised(may I point out, in timelines where I, personally, wouldn’t really expect a parent to actually genuinely apologise, which just makes them even more human and likeable). And yes, ignoring your trauma is not a very encouraging action and rather unhealthy, but they really put their families (and in Abuela’s case, her entire fucking town) first and disrespecting that is just pathetic.

And on a personal note, am I the only ones that actually isn’t a big fan of elders apologising irl? Because, as much as I argue with my parents a lot and point out their mistakes, the only ever times I see them apologise, they truly mean it. And they just look so…broken…and it’s so painful…it literally breaks my heart to see my family that way…maybe that’s just me but idk…

So yeah, y’all better respect the two women. (Jeez, ya’ll had me losing my temper over a fucking animated movie)

(Yes I made something don’t make fun of me I was proud of this pic shutup)

[arcanadreams]

Water Fights with the OM Bros

it’s 90 degrees outside at my place and you know what that means!!! water fight headcanons because I refuse to go outside in the heat in real life asdhgskjdgks

once again i’m only doing the brothers bc i do not trust myself with the dateables just yet lmao

Lucifer:

Literally only agrees to join because you’re so excited about it.

“...If it makes you happy, MC,” are his exact words. Simp.

You did agree to make the game have no points though, to keep things from getting competitive. Both at the advice of Lucifer and because you knew he would not join if there was any chance he could lose. (Also because Satan is a menace but we’ll get to that later.)

When all the brothers are gathered he suggests everyone pairs up into teams. 

“You’re only saying that so you can cozy with M-” Asmo tries to say before being sprayed in the face with water.

“My hair!” “Oh, look at that. I suppose the game has started,” Lucifer hides his water gun behind his legs, but he can’t hide the shit eating grin on his face.

He takes your hand with a “Come along, MC,” and leads you away as everyone splits up.

You two make a surprisingly good team for this sort of thing! He knows the gardens well and also knows where each of his brothers is likely to go. You are quite skilled water water guns and balloons. He’s basically the brains and you’re the brawn. 

He snatches a few kisses now and then when you look back at him excitedly after smacking one of his brothers with a balloon. You’re just so cute!

When everyone is all tuckered out and goes off to shower and whatever, Lucifer hangs back with you to thank you for organizing everything. With a kiss to the back of your hand, he says, “I’ll admit, I was...skeptical, at first. But, as usual, you brought my brothers together in a way I haven’t seen in a long while. Thank you, MC.” 

Mammon:

“I’m MC’s first man, so I get to team with them!” “You’re also literally my boyfriend, but okay hun.” Cue Mammon blushing beet red at the nickname and muttering at you not to call him that in front of his brothers. (He doesn’t mean it; he loves that they know you’re his and vice versa.)

Strategically, the two of you are the absolute worst. But that’s because you’re both just there to have fun!

And have fun you do! You actually get in quite a few fun chases with Levi! He’s probably the most into the water fight out of everyone, the three of you are just running around the gardens pelting each other with balloons. It’s super cute.

Mammon is absolutely the type to yell “I’ll avenge you, MC!” every single time you get sprayed. 

Eventually, you and Mammon follow Levi’s advice and start hiding in places to catch some of the other brothers by surprise. Which would be fine if Mammon didn’t blush super hard and start grumbling because of how close together you were when kneeling behind the garden wall.

You roll your eyes and surge forward to kiss him. He’s so shocked he has no idea what to do with his hands at first. But, after a second of pause, his water gun falls to the ground with a clatter and he wraps his arms around you.

“Get a room,” Is all the two of you hear before Belphie dumps a whole ass bucket of water on your heads. Mammon growls and jumps up to get the youngest before Beel can scoop him up, but you grab his hand and stop him. 

You’re laughing super hard, and the sun is shining on your hair. You almost look like you have a halo...Mammon gives up the chase before it even starts because his MC is simply ethereal. 

“Mammon!” You smile brilliantly at him when you finally stop laughing. “I kissed you to keep you quiet! And then you managed to make even more noise!” 

He just hugs you then so you can’t see his blushing face. Stupid lovely human making fun of him. (He likes it, though.)

Leviathan:

This boy is literally the MOST excited when you tell him your idea. He was in on it from the very start.

He actually helped you get all the supplies! He opens his Akuzon account right away and starts showing you what water guns would be best and picking out huge packs of balloons made specifically for being water grenades. (Definitely had looked all this stuff up before in case he found a LARPing buddy.)

You ask him how much Grimm all this stuff will cost and he tells you not to worry. “I’ll cover it!” “But, Levi-” He interrupts you with big blush on his face. 

“L-Listen MC. You’re m-my Henry! And I know this will be fun, s-so...I’ll cover it.” You leap forward and give him a hug, triggering a surprised but equally happy screech.

Honestly he is so excited you proposed an idea like that of your own volition. Like...it just makes him feel like all the games and stuff he finds fun truly don’t bother you. You haven’t been lying; you genuinely are interested in the same things as him. It makes him feel so warm.

When everyone is still arriving, you grab one of your water guns and do that cool spinny thing. You know the thing. The cowboy gun spin. You’re like, “Hey Levi! Check this out!” 

BAM. Boy is OUT. So red his face is steaming. That’s the hottest thing he has ever seen in his entire damn life. What the fuck, MC. He is basically frozen on the spot out of sheer overwhelmed-ness as how hot that was. You have to drag him away when the water fight starts. Totally worth staying up all night figuring out how to do the spin trick with a water gun.

Once the action gets going, you two are unstoppable. No one escapes the fight unscathed thanks to y’all. All those late night Call of Duty sessions trained you for this!!

Your favorite tactic is definitely camping, though. You and Levi would pick a spot and hide there, waiting for one of his brothers to come by, and then...ATTACK!

If it actually were a competition, you two would’ve won by a landslide. But honestly, Levi didn’t really keep track. He was having too much fun watching you. You were so mesmerizing when you were in the zone and so gorgeous when laughing as you gave him victory high fives after a successful ambush. 

You let him take a picture of you posing all tough with your water gun and he makes it his DDD background immediately. And his lockscreen so you can protect his DDD from intruders.

Satan:

THIS ASSHOLE. THIS MAN IS THE REASON YOU MADE SURE THERE WAS NO COMPETITION.

If there was any sense of competition, Satan would’ve gone absolutely out of his mind to beat Lucifer. He would make sure to destroy that man’s dignity as thoroughly as possible.

So, for the sake of both him and the eldest brother, no points. No contest. He grumbles about it, but, much like said eldest brother, he still joins because he sees how happy the idea of a family water fight makes you.

 Satan treats is almost as seriously as Levi does. EVEN THOUGH YOU MADE SURE IT WASN’T A COMPETITION, HE DAMN SURE STILL ACTS LIKE IT IS. UGH.

Literally pulls a map of the House of Lamentation’s gardens out of his back pocket??? And puts it on the side of the fountain?? And starts planning maneuvers on it with you??? He pulls a pen out of his SWIM TRUNK POCKETS to use to point with and emphasize his points. You just blink at him. This is your mans. Good lord.

Considering his expert knowledge of the layout of the entire surrounding area of HoL from that map, he actually knows of some secret passages the other brothers don’t even consider. He takes you to them so you can use them to spy on what Lucifer’s the other brothers’ strategies are.

It’s only once you’re creeping around the tunnels that he realizes something: none of his brothers know where you are. They can’t bother you...time to make out.

Grabs your attention with a quiet, “MC” and gives you a smooch. Soon enough he is backing you up against the wall. A water balloon you have tied to your belt pops against the rough brick, interrupting the two of you.

Satan disregards it and move to kiss you again, but you let out a gasp. He’s worried for you for a moment: did you scrape yourself? But when you turn to look at him, there’s a mischievous glint in your eye that he loves to see. 

“My water broke!” You whisper-exclaim dramatically, covering your mouth in fake shock. Satan has to nuzzle his face in your neck to avoid laughing and filling the tunnel with the echo that would alert his brothers. The two of you basically just canoodle in the passages until the water fight is over LMAO

Asmodeus:

Pretty much just to show off how good he looks in a bathing suit to you and anyone else who happens to be lucky enough to witness his glory.

He’s not the best at water fights and ends up using you as a human shield sometimes adjgfkjshf

“Asmo! Stop hiding behind me!” “I am not letting Lucifer mess up my hair twice in one day, darling!”

He comments quite often on how hot you look. Both in your bathing suit and also when in the zone looking for victims to douse in watery fury. You look like an action hero, MC! Have you ever thought about becoming the next Bond? Asmo could definitely pull some hypnotic strings.~

Every time you successfully pull him out of the way of an oncoming water balloon or block a blast of water from hitting, he totally melts. He presses his back to your chest, swooning against you and batting his eyelashes.

“Oh, MC, my hero! My dashing knight in shining armor!” You scoff, but think it’s super cute. You even play into it sometimes and pick him up bridal style.

“The king is looking for you, my prince,” you say once as you lift him, and he actually blushes. Asmodeus, avatar of lust, blushes at a silly pet name. He was not expecting you to get so into the role!!! He loves it, though.

For the rest of the water fight the two of you are basically roleplaying a royal and his knight bodyguard. It is stupidly fun and the both of you have an absolute blast.

“Oh, MC, my darling knight! I have amazing news!” Asmo says after the fight ends. You’re drying his hair off with a towel. “Yes, my liege?” 

“In exchange for your wonderful and dutiful protection, you have been given permission by the crown to court me! Isn’t that wonderful?” He smiles and you throw your head back in a laugh. You lean down and give him a nice, long kiss on the lips before pulling away. “That is absolutely splendid, your highness.”

Beelzebub:

He loves the idea because it’ll get his whole family together and he knows it. He has to carry Belphie out there but that’s normal.

He helped you and Levi plan!! Excited boy. You filled him in when he joined you and Levi for a game night. He totally volunteered to go get some extra supplies from some nearby stores for y’all. So cute.

Once everyone is actually fighting, this boy WILL NOT STOP BEING A HUMAN (demon?) SHIELD FOR YOU. LIKE NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TELL HIM IT’S FINE, YOU’RE FINE, HE WILL NOT STOP.

“Babycakes, it’s okay. It’s water. It can’t hurt me.” “But I love you. I want you safe.” O H. O K A Y.

Someone call a doctor Beel just shot MC through the heart!!! He’s so genuine you just bright red and kiss his cheek because he deserve it.

“Well, I guess that’s settled then, huh?” He gives you a big Beel smile and nods, ruffling your hair affectionately.

Y’all get sprayed with water A LOT because your hungry boy is very big and hard to hide. Er, I should say HE gets sprayed a lot because he is a fantastic meat shield and you’re practically dry by the time the fight is over. He, on the other hand, is soaked to the bone.

He still insists on drying you off with a towel, though. The two of you dry each other off back in the twins’ room while Belphie dozes nearby in his bed.

You’re in the middle of drying his shoulders when he just starts talking. “That was really fun, MC. I’m really grateful for you. Ever since you’ve been here, things are always more fun. And you bring all my brother together. Thank you.” 

You damn near burst into tears!!! Ahhhh!!! You sniffle and jump into his nap, wrapping your arms around him. “But MC, I’m still wet.” “I don’t care!! I’m giving you snuggles!!”

Belphegor:

Literally does not give a single fuck about a water fight until he realizes it lets him throw shit at Lucifer with absolutely zero consequences. Then he is all in.

Beel doesn’t even have to carry him around during the fight! Once he is outside and realizes all the shenanigans he can pull, he is perfectly content to grab you by the hand and be the one dragging you around, for once!

You two will probably team up with Satan and Beel at various points. Beel because he’s Beel, and Satan because he and Belphie absolutely set water balloon filled booby traps for Lucifer.

That’s his preferred strategy: set up a trap and wait in the bushes, watching for the target to approach.

He’s definitely the type to yell “Every man for himself!” if someone catches you guys hiding. Unlike his twin, he lets you get totally soaked while he runs away laughing. Dickweed.

You guys have a lot of fun, though!! Seeing Belphie excited is always a treat for you. And, though he doesn’t say anything about it, Belphie also thinks it’s a treat whenever you scheme with him. You don’t join in on his mischief often, so he always cherishes the times you do.

Eventually, after soaking Lucifer thoroughly, Belphie eventually gets a bit tired. You, however, want to keep the fun going. So, just as he begins to dose off in your hiding spot...you spray him. Right in the face. 

He opens his eyes and sees you raising an eyebrow at him challengingly, giggling to yourself. He growls playfully and grabs his own water gun, quickly giving chase as you bolt. 

Being a demon, he’s much quicker than you. But he lets you think you can escape for a few minutes before catching up to you and wrapping his arms around you from behind. 

As you squirm and laugh in his embrace, he feels thankful he joined in on the fight, even if he was hesitant at first. After all, it led to this moment, where he can turn you around in his arms and give you a nice kiss as you melt against his chest.

[heres-to-all-that-is-mine]

I am once again laying here thinking about your imposter au. Really going over everything they lost. I mean how can they even pickup the pieces after this. How would they start?? Like can thdu even begin to try and get their lives on track. Not much they can even do since their pokemon its mostly gonna be in the hands of others.

Then i got to thinking Bout their time with Drayden. Like they would probably only go with him if hurt i think. Im gonna say Ingo gets hurt protecting Emmet because i like hurting Ingo. Like hes trying to protect Emmet from Drayden when he finds them only to collapse the moment Drayden said he didnt wanna hurt them. The moment they are behind doors and safe maybe Emmet can snap at him as a treat. After all people only tried to figure them out because of Drayden. Maybe Emmet was the first exposed too so he blames himself a little too. A little “why couldnt you leave us alone. We did nothing to hurt you or anyone. You just couldnt let it go!!” Maybe some tears as his form falls slightly “we lost everything. Its all over. “ poor lil Emmet is having a breakdown. “Why.. why couldnt you just leave us alone.. why”

Sorry i uhhhh got carried away. Uhhh il leave oh geeze sorry if i missspelled Draydens name smh. I just went with how my brain said to do it

Man oh man, I wouldn’t know where to start either!! It would be difficult. Verrry difficult. But I am soft! I say they can do it. Nothing is ever the same again but that is alright because they are home, safe, together. Home is different, perhaps, but still home. How do they do it? I don’t know! I’m sure some of y’all have better ideas for it!

Anyways. Yes, I too enjoy hurting Ingo! I say he’s sick. Nothing too bad, but he’s hurt and it drains him of all his energy. He’s so cold and so hot, and it’s so hard to think, but his twin’s safety is the priority at the moment- just as his safety is Emmett’s priority. Which is why, face to face with Drayden, he stands front and centre and is silent in his protectiveness. (And it is so wrong to watch, for Drayden, because Ingo is loud and kind and genuine and now he stands before him with his teeth bared and eyes wild with panic, not uttering a word.) Ingo is running on fumes, though, and the moment he feels assured they won’t be harmed- he just collapses to the floor, finally, finally giving in to the toll of injury and fever and exhaustion.

Emmett wants to trust Drayden. By Arceus does he want to. He wants peace, and safety, and a warm meal and to be treated as a person (he’s a person, damn it! Or he was, at least. For some time.) and most of all he wants his brother to be healthy and safe and happy as well. But this is Drayden.

Drayden who wanted them exposed, Drayden who set all of this off, Drayden who finally got his wish. He can’t hate him. Not now, not right now, because right now he can’t hate anyone really. Hate is exhausting, and it kills you a little bit, piece by piece. He doesn’t hate him. But he is angry. So, so very angry, because how dare he? How dare he have that pitying look on his face, when this is his fault? (Not wholly, he knows that, just a tiny piece of it all… but Drayden is standing right in front of him, and that is enough). How dare he touch Ingo who is sick and injured (because of him, because of Emmett) and how dare he talk of what is right and wrong and his stupid apologies? A ditto is not made of sharp edges, by nature. They have no teeth, no voice to yell with, no hard bits to hurt with, no moves of their own.

But that is what Emmett needs right now. So that is what he becomes. All toothy strained smile that is more a snarl than anything else, sharp fingers to poke him in the chest with accusation, a voice that can fill the room, wide eyes and fury. He is Emmett, and he doesn’t deserve this. Ingo doesn’t deserve this. He is so angry, and so scared. So very scared. All that yelling, all his anger, it simmers away into bitter tears and sobs, and he loses his shape slowly, sinking to the floor. He is scared, and tired, and hungry, and angry. He needs rest, and peace and quiet, and food, and for his brother to be okay. Mostly for his brother to be okay.

Drayden cannot help him, not much, he doesn’t know how. But he can give them a place to stay, at least until Ingo is better because he doesn’t think either of them want to be with him of all people, and he can give them food and drink, and he can keep them safe. So that is what he gives them. A room (because Emmett won’t leave Ingo’s side), regular meals, a comfortable place to sleep (Emmett collects pillows, every single one he can find, even one off of Drayden’s bed because he is still a little angry perhaps), and medicine.

[hubbie22]

Here is an ask well half an ask from the lovely @meddowscrl please don’t hate me 🥺 I just can’t do happy endings. I tried, I just couldn’t. I can only do angst. I like to suffer ~nervous laughter intensified~ Also, please excuse the writing, I have a respiratory infection and am heavily medicated.

You were happy, weren’t you?

“I want a divorce.”

You stare at him, you had only asked if he wanted to change the drapes. And the answer, turned your world upside down. He had been your boyfriend since 1968, your husband since 1972 and yet with one sentence he was now nothing.

“The drapes, I just wanted to change the drapes.” You mutter out like a hapless child.

“We haven’t been good for months.” He looks at you, his eyes hidden behind sunglasses.

“We haven’t?” Since when haven’t you two been good? Since when haven’t you two shared one brain cell? That was news to you.

Roger stands firms, flicking his long hair back. “No, Y/N.” He sighs, “We haven’t been us for months.”

“Is there someone else?” You look at him, searching for something. “You promised me. You promised me.” The words come out like a chant or mantra, what you held onto when he was on the road. A promise from another lifetime ago.

He sighs, as if he wants to tell you the truth. But he looks at you, and he sees the brokenness he caused. And he can’t bare to make it worse. So, he lies.

“No.”

You walk past him, and he grabs your hand and you think for a moment he will tell you he change his mind. But he hasn’t, and you tear yourself away from him trudging up the staircase.

“Y/N, this has been a long time coming. I’m not happy…. I’m not happy with you anymore.”

“A long time coming for who?” You can’t even look at him while you are packing your things. Most of which, he bought you. So, you only bring what you can into this relationship with yourself. “For you? Because I was happy.” There are tears streaming down your face, like a waterfall, “And I thought we were happy, it’s news to me that we aren’t. And that’s we haven’t been for sometime. Or maybe that you haven’t been.”

You sit across from him in a London high-rise, a wood table between you two and armed with a divorce lawyer. It happened fast, or maybe you were out of it the last few months.

You looked over at Roger, his hair was shorter the last time you saw him.

He stopped by your new apartment to drop off things you left, you could remember his shocked face when you open the door. You heard rustling outside and curiously you opened the door to see Roger crouched down, putting a box by your door. Blue eyes meet yours, and it was like time hadn’t passed. And maybe that’s why you treated it that way, maybe that’s why you went with the old routine. And you wonder if it was the gleam in his eyes, that let you believe that there was something to hold onto; that hope remained.

“Just some bits and bobs of yours.” Roger said, fumbling his keys in his hand.

“Thanks, Rog.” You can’t move from the door frame, the gaze y’all shared unbroken. Years of memories dancing between tha gaze. The squeal of the kettle you put on earlier makes the both of you jump.

“Cuppa? I still have your favorite biscuits.” You couldn’t stop yourself from buying them. It was just normal. And sometimes normal in this new word you didn’t know, was what you needed to sleep at night.

“Really?!” His blue eyes light up, and you motion for him to come in. Staying for tea was a dangerous thing, an old and easy routine. It was weird being so comfortable with someone, who was leaving you behind. Funny how the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Maybe it was because of the easiness of it all, that you left yourself fall back into the comfort of it all. As of you two were old friends, not two lovers frayed at the seams. Because of that easiness, you let yourself entertain a thought that maybe you could save your marriage. Put back the broken pieces into something recognizable, but it wasn’t enough. The yearning, the reminiscing of old times through the stuff he brought to you somehow turned into fumbled kisses and clothes thrown around haphazardly. It was something you thought would change the course of where your life was going. Instead of reconciling, it turned into Roger sneaking out when he thought you were asleep. It turned into your lawyer, letting you know Roger wanted you to have more than you asked for. It turned into more resentment and hurt from you, how he could use you and then leave you. How could he so easily but all those years together aside? It turned into something that shouldn’t have happened. And it turned into something that would stay with you forever. A funny word forever, because forever never is forever.

“Sign this, and your divorced will be finalized. All assets obtained during the marriage have been split, due to Mr. Taylor’s wishes.” Your lawyer says looking at you, sliding the papers across, while Roger’s lawyer speaks, “You will be comfortable, and well off Y/N. My client has been more than generous. In fact, I’ve never seen a settlement this amicable from the side of the main breadwinner .”

You sign the papers without any words, you don’t even look at Roger. You realize as you sign on the dotted line, this will be the last time you will use the surname you used for years. Funny how something you thought would never change, would be stagnant in your life just fades away. You then pass the papers across the table back to Roger’s lawyer, you watch as the lawyer slides the papers over to Roger for his signature.

And when Roger takes the paper, you stop breathing you wonder if his mind will change at the eleventh hour. But, he signs it without any hesitation. It’s a fluent and flawless movement, very unlike Roger- really. Part of you breaks at that, it was like he didn’t care he was closing the door on years of his life. Closing the door on you.

You stand up, smoothing out your wide legged pant suit. After the divorce, you had dipped your toes back into the world of working for a living. Putting that masters degree in business to use, and now it was time to separate yourself from the last of the rock n roll lifestyle you loved. And you turn to walk away, high heels on the marble floor when someone grabs your wrist turning you around.

“Take care of yourself, Y/N.” Roger looks at you with concern in his blue eyes. And you wonder if it’s for the friend he was losing, and not the marriage he let go of so easily.

You look at him, “I will. Don’t forget to wear your glasses, we both know you are blind. Don’t forget to call your mum once in while, she misses you. And try not to get so angry at the boys, they mean well.”

“Even after everything I’ve done, you don’t hate me.” You spot something in his eyes, you can’t put a name too. An emotion that seems out of place, it was almost looked like guilt and forlorn.

“I told you a long time ago, I could never hate you. No matter how much, I may want too. I just can’t.”

“You are too good, Y/N. I’ve forgot to remind myself of that. Maybe that’s why…” he drifts off, “Even those daft band mates of mine agreed. Never let me forget it. But, Im sure they are out to drive me mad!” He says with a small smirk.

“With the drum sets you destroy, I doubt the plan to make you mad.” You make a small sound, something between a strangled “hmph” and snort in retort.

“Same old, Y/N.”

“By the way, I have something to-”

“Roggiee!” A voice like a bell cuts through the hushed words you tell him.

You both turn to see a girl, or really a woman bounding toward y’all. And you look toward Roger, and you see the look in his eyes. A look that used to be reserved for you. And it clicked, the guilty look etched in his eyes, not even moments ago. The guilty look he wore that night. The whole reason your world was being upended and ruined. It was for her.

The bitterness filled you up, the way he could so easily toss you aside. The look you threw at Roger was one of pure resentment and unbridled rage.

“You lied.” Your hushed words, that come out through clinched teeth drip with a malice.

He looks at you with wide eyes, as if he was trying to shelter you from the truth. And you see that damned look again. “Y/N, please. I just couldn’t tell you.”

But before you can answer, she comes up with a smile on her pink lips and a twinkle in her dark brown eyes. “You must be, Roggie’s lawyer! I’m Gwen.” She smiles at you. And her smile is sickly sweet, and almost innocent.

It makes you want to scream, to throw something, to do something other than what you are doing.

“I’m Y/N, actually.” You extend your hand to her. Her eyes go wide, and she looks at Roger, who goes to her side immediately.

“Y/N, please listen.” He hold onto her side, and the whiteness of his knuckles against the material of her dark dress don’t go unnoticed by you. “I didn’t mean to fall in love with her.”

Gwen chimes in, “We honestly tried to stay away from each other, we just couldn’t. We were drawn to each other.”

If you weren’t so bitter, hurt, and angry perhaps the romantic side of you would find that notion tragic. You had read about it in books, and always rooted for the star-crossed lovers. But, now you were the collateral damage, you were the woman scorned.

“When we decided that what we had was something, I couldn’t tell you. I couldn’t tell you that I was in love with someone else, when you were there from the start. I just didn’t want you to find out after I got back from tour-”

“He couldn’t see you broken like that.” Gwen finishes for him.

You can’t even begin to comprehend the information given, you were gobsmacked. You were completely barred raw, for everyone is this godforsaken lobby to see. And because of that, you selfishly did not want to see how genuinely happy he looked with someone else. Someone who wasn’t you. So, you used the words you knew would cut him to the bone. “So, you thought it was better to make me believe it was my fault you weren’t happy. That I was ignorantly living in one sided marital bliss, while you were falling in love with someone else? While you were planning to leave, I was planning for a life with you?” Your eyes are blazing, your face hot with rage, “You thought it was better to make me believe I was the problem? I can’t believe you! After everything I did for you? After putting my life on hold for you?! This is how you repay me? I deserved the truth, but you, the both of you took that from me.”

“I just-” He sighs, “I just wanted to be happy again, and when I’m with Gwen I’m happy. And I was going to tell you, I was going to tell you that day with the drapes. But, you then you uttered that damn promise. And what was I supposed to do? How could I break my best friend? I’ve always been the asshole to everyone, but you.”

“I love you.”

You look at Roger, his long blonde hair disheveled with bright blue eyes. “I love you too, you are my friend. My very best friend.” You bump your shoulder against his, and let out a giggle.

“I’m in love with you, Y/N.”

You stare at him wide eyed, “Oh.”

“I have been for sometime.”

“Rog, I love you too. But, that doesn’t mean I want to date you. I know how you are, you will grow bored of me and find someone else. And love is sweet, but it’s not your nature. I don’t think I have it in me to me hate you, or to lose you. Please don’t make me lose my best friend.”

“You don’t get it, Y/N.” He looks at you like you hung the moon, and you like it. You crave that look. “I don’t want anyone else, it’s you. And I think it’s always been, and always will be you.”

“You promise? You promise it’s only me forever?” You bite your lip and stick out your pinky finger, like you had done so many times growing up.

“I cross my heart and hope to die.” He says as he raises your intertwined pinkies up to kiss it.

“And in that moment, I was back in Truro laughing with a curly haired little girl, and then I was in uni with that same girl, who was my best friend, I saw that girl. And, I couldn’t do that to her.”

You look at him, your face cold as stone. “I’m still that girl, I haven’t changed. You have. And that’s okay, it’s okay the change that’s life.”

That is how it ends, with a look of heartbreak on your face as the elevator doors close on the sight before you. And when the doors open, and you are greeted by the sight of the lobby. You realize, you didn’t even tell him what you wanted too.

Would it change anything?

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 313: Deku VS Lady Nagant

Previously on BnHA: Hawks’s super-hot badass murder senpai Lady Nagant showed up to fire a cupid’s arrow into my heart, and a bunch of literal bullets into my son. Deku was all “oh shit it’s Hawks’s super-hot badass murder senpai, what do I do, let me think back to Hawks’s advice for a sec.” Flashback!Hawks was all “anyway Deku so if my super-hot badass murder senpai ever shows up you’re basically screwed so you’d better abscond the fuck out of there.” Present!Deku was all “lol idek why I flashed back to that conversation since I’m just going to do the exact opposite of what Hawks said” and charged directly toward Nagant because WHY NOT. Overhaul was all “waah I need to get back to my boss who I put in a coma out of love” and Nagant was all “jesus christ why did I even bring you here” and had a flashback to AFO who was all “ILU NAGANT IMMA GIVE YOU AN EXTRA QUIRK SO PLEASE CAPTURE DEKU FOR ME PLEASE AND THANKS” and yeah. Shit is all over the place right now and I love it.

Today on BnHA: All Might gets attacked by a pair of discount assassins and is all “Call an ambulance! ...BUT NOT FOR ME” and it’s really badass but also I really wish he would stop tempting fate like this. Lady Nagant is all “[casually flies around town shooting shit]” and I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t read an entire chapter of just that. Deku is all, “[gets shot (≥_<)]” and releases a giant Smokescreen which prompts En to show up. En is all, “( •᷄⌓•᷅ ) (⌣̀ Δ⌣́) ( •̀_•́ )σ (¬､¬) (눈_눈)” which I consider to be a high point of both the chapter and of my life. The chapter ends with Deku using the Third’s quirk to launch a bunch of random objects at Nagant so that he can jump up and grab her arm all sneaky-like, and I’m sure this is going to prompt another week’s worth of discourse that I don’t care about at all, but fuck it, I’m having a good time.

OH WE’RE CUTTING BACK TO ALL MIGHT WELL THAT’S NICE I GUESS. CONGRATS ON NOT BEING DEAD

you named your car??

you named it Hercules??

I love you so much??

please marry me you giant fucking dork???

lmao speaking of huge fucking dorks

who the fuck are you clowns. la dee da we’re gonna murder All Might with our synchronized spear attack!! I mean... they’re clearly trying their best... maybe I should just be nice and politely hype them up like All Might is so clearly trying to do

like okay, but we all agree that this is actually the least intimidating attack any of us has ever seen, right?? these guys zipped up their hoodies all serious-like and are trying to attack All Might and Hercules with their Walmart tiki torches, but just, no?? right?? like the only way this could possibly be effective is if they were trying to kill All Might with secondhand embarrassment

“those are assassins” this is a VERY generous assessment, All Might

OH MY GOD THE TIKI TORCHES ACTUALLY KILLED THE FUCK OUT OF HERCULES

[slaps roof of car] this baby can fit so many weaponized festive backyard lighting solutions in it

and yet, even after watching this with my own two eyes, I still can’t take these dudes seriously. idek what it is. anyways r.i.p. Hercules, I loved you a lot but I guess you weren’t actually a very good armored car were you

omg they didn’t know it was All Might??

okay 1) for a moment there I was like “oh hey maybe they’re not so bad after all” but then a moment later it was like “ah nope, they are.” like, that was an interesting .06 second emotional journey there. anyways 2) All Might you have my permission to kick their asses for this disrespect, and 3) anyone else all of a sudden getting “wouldn’t this be an interesting time for Stain to suddenly show up” vibes?? no?? just me???

(ETA: hmm tbh I’ve still got those vibes and they haven’t gone away lol. Stain?? you out there buddy?? do you want to be cool for just once in your life. ball’s in your court pal.)

OH SNAP ALL MIGHT ARE YOU REALLY GONNA DO IT ARE YOU GONNA KICK THEIR ASSES

PROTECTIVE DAD MODE ACTIVATED?? BECAUSE YOU KNOW I’M HERE FOR THAT SHIT, SO YEAH, FEEL FREE

omg he’s shouting at them about how much Deku has suffered lmao and they’re just like falling over from being scolded

so they have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about though, right? “SIR THIS IS A WENDY’S” well whatever, you killed his pet car so he’s in a bad mood now

OH MY GOD

LIKE, JUST SO WE’RE ALL CLEAR, THESE FOUR PAGES SO FAR HAVE MADE ALMOST ZERO SENSE. LIKE MAYBE 2% SENSE TOPS. BUT ASK ME IF I CARE. GO AHEAD AND ASK. I SAID GO AHEAD, IT’S OKAY. ...NO I DON’T CARE AT ALL THANK YOU FOR ASKING

(ETA: also, the more I look at this panel, the more I’m just like, why the hell would you phrase it like that though, sob. way to doubly tempt fate?? are you trying to give Horikoshi a challenge??)

and now back to Deku who is randomly bouncing around the city and narrating it to himself just in case he was confused about why he was doing this

who are you talking to Deku. but thanks we appreciate it

man you gotta love that overconfidence. the smartest guy in the world warned you away from this lady, so SURE, LET’S RUN RIGHT UP TO HER. “I APPRECIATE YOUR INPUT, FLASHBACK!HAWKS, BUT I’LL TAKE IT FROM HERE” well okay then!!

I think it would be funny if RHA.com put little Buzzfeed-style polls in between the chapter pages so they could survey people at random intervals as they read their way through the chapter. like, you finish this page and then there’s a little poll there asking “do you think Deku’s plan of catching up to Lady Nagant and finding out where Shigaraki is will work?”, and you click “no” just like everyone else and then nod as the results show that 97% of your fellow readers also picked “no”, and you chuckle to yourself wondering how many of the 3% accidentally clicked on the wrong option by mistake, and then you keep on reading

ANYWAY, SO

HOW’S THAT PLAN WORKING OUT FOR YOU SO FAR DEKU. nice kick, though!!

omggggggg

ouch

update: Deku’s plan not really working out. sources tell me my boy has been fucking shot. this is an ongoing story and we will keep you posted with the latest developments as they come in

wait what

feel free to explain to the rest of us what all of this “UNLESS...” and “THAT POSSIBILITY...” shit means anytime, Deku

oh lol did he realize she could fly??

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE, CNN’s John King reports that Deku is still fucked. eyewitness reports now coming in that Nagant is doing no-look shots and basically not even giving a fuck. sources described her mannerisms and expression as “sexy, but in like an effortless sort of way.” we will continue to bring you the latest

so now there’s basically an entire page of Deku being all “ah fuck so she’s basically closing in and she could already hit me with impossible accuracy even from Far Away, so if that’s the case then her being Up Close is probably going to be even worse!” making good use of that Big Hero Brain there, Deku

so now what, you’re doing some kind of spiraling kick thing?? how is that going to help

oh lol he’s using Smokescreen to create some cover. aww, good for you Deku you named one of your Smokescreen attacks

OH NO LADY DON’T TELL ME AFO DIDN’T EVEN FILL YOU IN ON THE BASICS

seriously, AFO?? you basically told her what Deku’s exact strategy was going to be but then couldn’t be assed to drop that little, small, barely notable piece of knowledge that Deku is rocking multiple quirks?? is it supposed to be a secret or something?? you dropped the ball here man

damn this is getting intense now

(ETA: the way En is poking Deku’s head in that first panel is fucking sending me, I love this guy so much omg.)

well then what are you planning, Deku?? I’m actually really curious!! I am genuinely starting to be invested in this fight scene not only in the “wanting to see who wins and how that impacts the plot” sense, but also in the “wanting to see how it happens because the choreography and strategy is actually pretty cool” sense, which honestly hasn’t happened for quite a while now! this is fun

anyway so what’s up Deku, are you going to use another quirk?? I’ve been speculating that he hasn’t actually unlocked the last two yet (since Two and Three didn’t exactly seem convinced when we last saw them), but maybe I’m about to be proven wrong

(ETA: well he clearly has Three’s obviously, but Two’s is still MIA, and that’s the one I am of course the most curious about. that’s the one we’re all curious about, let’s be real.)

OH SNAP???

AHHHH I’M HYPED LOL. ANOTHER SHINY NEW QUIRK LOL SHOULD I PUT UP THE USUAL DISCOURSE DISCLAIMER

(ETA: so yeah, after thinking on it, I’m not gonna say “please no Deku discourse on my blog” this week, but I probably will ignore any discourse that does come my way though, just because I don’t have much interest in getting involved in what would probably be a pretty repetitive discussion. like, I can just sum up my opinions (which is what they are) here instead. in fact here they are lol:

1) I like the SIXQUIRKS and I like seeing Deku be a badass.

2) I also don’t think Deku is too OP. more like he’s exactly as OP as he needs to be at the moment, given that we’re approaching the end of the series. I expect the other kids will also be pretty damn OP when we see them fight again. we’re just at that point now where they’re all badasses (as well they should be; they’ve grown a lot and they deserve it). it’s just that Deku’s the one we’re getting to see right now.

3) of course I miss Kacchan and the others, but for me this vibes much closer to the MVA arc where even though I missed them, I was still having a blast (as opposed to the dark days of the Basement arc where I was pretty much losing it lol). like, even though Kacchan’s my favorite, I still love Deku a lot and this arc has been amazing for him getting to shine on his own (for like the first time, really).

4) y’all know I love the OFA plot and I’ve never been shy about that lol. I like all of the Vestiges a lot. Banjou and his over the top personality; En and his “guy you thought would be serious and :| all the time but is actually hyper-animated and ALL OVER THE PLACE” energy; Shiro who actually is a :| sort of guy lol; Three who I still expect will be fleshed out in a more detailed flashback at some point; and of course Two, who, well. you know what I think about him lol. Bakuverse is still on the table and I’m still hyped. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we still have yet to see Two actually talk to Deku (as opposed to talking to the other Vestiges while Deku is distracted). did he lend him his power yet?? or is he still holding out?? either way it’s definitely going to be a Big Thing when it finally happens and I can’t wait to see it.

5) Lady Nagant is Everything and just because Deku grabbed her arm doesn’t mean the fight is over yet lol. Overhaul hasn’t come into play yet either. not to mention that even if the fight is over, the “where do we go from here” part still has me excited either way. her connection to Hawks and the HPSC is very intriguing and we’ve barely touched on that as of yet; she definitely has more of a role to play in this.

6) last but not least, I feel like every week the discussion is all about how much focus Deku’s getting, and how OP he is or isn’t, and OFA this and OFA that, but meanwhile I’m actually so invested in the character development here though?? the way Deku has distanced himself from everyone (except for the Vestiges, because of course they’re already dead so it’s not like they can die again lol)?? the way he’s pushing himself far too hard and we can see the shadows in and under his eyes, and the fact that he never smiles, and even All Might has remarked on how he isn’t taking care of himself at all?? the fact that he’s so single-mindedly obsessed with focused on stopping AFO?? the fact that he’s still the same sweet old Deku despite everything and was so kind to that fox lady with the umbrella, but there was also something so sad about that scene because it felt like a reminder of the type of hero that he wants to be, but that he’s not allowed to be right now?? because the stakes are too high and the world is falling apart?? and he feels like he’s the only one who can do something about it?? and that he has to be?? and that he is putting so much pressure on himself right now, and it’s absolutely too much pressure for any one person to bear, and I feel like no one is fucking talking about this lol goddammit.

anyway so yeah. I have feels about this, and every week that slow-burn angst is getting more and more intense behind the scenes, and I feel like it’s all going to hit a breaking point eventually. sooner rather than later. it really feels like a mirror of Katsuki’s post-Kamino arc. where all that angst was just churning below the surface for like twenty chapters and then it finally was like “okay it’s time” and it all came bursting out and we got the best five chapters of the fucking series (in my admittedly biased estimation lol).

basically, I know that most of fandom is billing this as either the “villain hunt” arc or the “solo Deku SIXQUIRKS fighting arc” or whatever. but for me, it’s always been and still is the Deku Angst arc lol. the cool fights are a sexy bonus (the worldbuilding less so because even though it’s interesting to see society at such a low point, it’s also very depressing and gets old pretty fast), but for me the thing that’s really keeping me engaged chapter after chapter is seeing Deku like we’ve never seen him before. seeing him all quiet and withdrawn and brooding and focused on AFO, AFO, AFO, and seeing that “he just doesn’t take himself into account” mentality taken to extremes. I am invested in that. I’m soaking up that angst each and every week, and I’m invested in seeing what comes of it. it’s a big picture thing. week to week this arc might just seem like a bunch of villain fight scenes, sure. but Deku’s emotional journey is the thread that’s going to carry this arc through from beginning to end, and for that I’m willing to be patient.

anyway that turned into a BIG OL’ RANT there but yeah! so those are my thoughts on the disk horse as it currently stands. and like I said, I’m open to discussion, but tbh I will probably just wind up repeating these same talking points endlessly so just a fair warning lol.)

anyway so Three says Deku has yet to use his quirk at ALL but now he’s trying to combine it with another quirk?? damn. also please check out En’s face here you guys

En launching a sneak attack up my favorite character list by the sheer power of his expressions alone. he really knows how to make the most of his screentime

OH DAMN DEKU

at this point the 3% from that hypothetical poll earlier are starting to feel prettttty damn smug, I’ll bet. well shit

what in the fuck

?? so like releasing his chi or whatnot?? isn’t that basically just like base OFA all over again?? also Deku did you seriously just apologize to Gran’s cape

update: Nagant has turned her eyeball into a gun

hm. hmmmmmmm. ...okay yep, still somehow sexy

anyway so she’s just floating up there building suspense, as one does. lord I sure hope she has good reflexes because something tells me she’s going to need them

OH SNAP HE THREW GRAN’S CAPE AS A DECOY WHAAAAT OKAY THAT’S SOME SMART SHIT DEKU

LOL SHE’S MAD NOW

JESUS CHRIST SHE JUST NEVER TAKES A GODDAMN BREAK FROM BEING AWESOME HUH

DEKU ARE YOU JUST THROWING EVERY DAMN THING IN YOUR INVENTORY

but without the cape and the hood how will you continue to look like an enigmatic badass. you really can’t. which means we might finally be moving on from the wandering nomad part of this arc, stay tuned

LOL YOU MANIAC

I hope he went full Kacchan with the dialogue there. his face sure looks like it lol. popped out of a building all mad fdskljlkj omg

well this was fun, shit. I still have basically no idea what Three’s quirk does though lol. like, can he use it to charge up objects with kinetic energy or something?? but then what was all of that talk about combining it with one of the other quirks?? or was that just because he was using Smokescreen at the same time??

(ETA: having seen and read an additional half-dozen explanations of Three’s quirk, I can say with confidence that I still have basically no idea what it is or does.)

anyway so!! Deku is a badasssssss but something tells me not to count Nagant out just yet even so. also I really enjoy seeing Deku flip out on people like he doesn’t have a fucking hole in his torso because it reminds me of A CERTAIN SOMEONE and I always love to see him channeling that feral energy; I feel like it’s been a while

anyways good luck to you both!! I truly wish that both of you could win. but if not, then maybe you can at least become friends instead. you have so much in common, you both can fly and have multiple quirks and you’re both badasses, and plus it would just be really funny to see the look on Hawks’s face lmao