#i am from earth
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This post goes out to the people who never had a childhood home or who moved around too much to truly consider somewhere as the place they grew up in. I see you. I feel you. I am one of you
#i moved all over the place as a kid and a teen#moving towns every few years#and the places i stayed in for longer i can hardly remember cause i was so young#i heard all these songs about missing your childhood home or losing the magic that was once there#i never had that#its making me a little sad right now#i dont get to have a childhood bedroom or a tree that i witnessed grow from a sapling#its an odd feeling#feeling like you dont really come from anywhere#im not from a town or a house or a city#i am from this country#i am from earth#i am a human#its odd#sam rambles
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queen of diamonds, upright + reversed 💎
I've redone this like eighty times, I have to just be done with it now and stop staring at all my mistakes oh no 🫠
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 8 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 8 spoilers#coming in well after the fact but that's what happens when the art doesn't cooperate#and i just HAD to draw something for vil's ob (re-ob?) because i loved it so much#legit put my hand over my mouth and went “oh!” when i realized what was happening#i thought it was just going to be an idia thing because. y'know. closing out his character arc from episode 6 and all#so this was like. oh! oh we're going to get ALL the inky boys!!!!!#i wonder if this is why we got a malleus flashback so early...#not to mention everyone's dreams?!#i am braced for 90% of the dreams to be kind of jokey/inconsequential because we have SO many characters to get through#and most of the time will probably be spent on our lads (literally) dropkicking their emotional problems#but i am excited to see everyone regardless!#and also kind of terrified! what on EARTH will floyd be dreaming about. do i want to know.#i do but do i want to.#man. they're probably not going to get back to it but i do wonder what silver's dream was#what was he doing when he was like 'wait a minute' and noped right out of there#lilia: here silver i made dinner :)#silver: oh boy this looks great! ...YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD#ouuuagh i'm still deep in the blotsauce guys and i'm loving it#come make snowangels in the ink with me it's great
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couples t shirts that say “please ask me about birds” and “please for the love of god don’t ask her about birds”
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“Icarus.”
it's all about freedom really
Credit goes to An Sifakah for the poem. Enjoy!
Support me on Ko-fi maybe?
#lake's art#happy birthday sabo!#this time actually on time wow#revolutionary sabo#one piece sabo#asl brothers#asl trio#monkey d. luffy#portgas d ace#watch me tag ace even though he barely shows up#one piece comic#one piece#one piece fanart#oh i'll confess. i traced that ship from a screencap#there's no force on earth that can make me draw a whole ass ship sorry#as always I am stupidly proud of exactly 1 (one) page and this time it's the third#but i also just love that part of the poem so i was already biased towards it before i drew it lmao#i had a whole ass explanation for the reasoning behind this comic that i wrote at like. 3 am. but fuck knows what i did with it#i contemplated colors and immediately gave up. hell nah i'm not doing that again
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celebrimbor pointing out the imperfection in sauron's fabricated reality, as both of them match in skills as a creator. sauron can craft the most appealing illusion in the entire world, but celebrimbor will always sees right through the deception, due to sauron's need for order. the reality he crafted is perfect. too perfect. nothing in this world is perfect. the patterns of the mouse, and the candle is the flaw within his works. celebrimbor merely critiques it.
#the rings of power#rings of power#trop#rop#trop meta#rop meta#silvergifting#annatar#sauron#mairon#celebrimbor#telperinquar#please I AM SO BACK. more analysis coming right up!#what is that...? about how sauron can't hide anything from him..? yeah#he's a the lord of the forge#the best one in middle earth#out of many characters that can see through the weird reality bending is him#as a celebrimbor fan i am so fucking happy they show how smart he really is
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"you only say you're autistic because you want to feel special and different" actually finding out i was autistic made me feel significantly less special and different. before i was autistic i was Strange and Unpredictable in some sort of Unknowable way which Surely meant i was Predestined for Greatness (like storybook character). now im just some fuckin autistic guy like any other. i significantly prefer it this way btw
#this isnt about being a gifted kid btw this is about being different from everyone else#seeing that all the famous people you look up to were Also described as being different from everyone else#and going “ahah! i must be a main character of some sort! i cannot wait for my fascinating tale to unfold!”#“perhaps i will be the first contact which alien life makes with earth! perhaps i am secretly a shapeshifting cat!”#only to grow up & find out what autism is & go “oh im actually just like millions of other people who are not famous at all. yay!”#autism#autistic#actually autistic
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How are you?
I am doing the best I can given the circumstances! (Horse dead, scammed thousands, got bald)
#There is an unspeakable agony in the marrow of my bones#I am rotting from the inside out in real time and I can do nothing but watch the decay and pretend to find beauty in it#But the maggots burrowing inside me love me more than anyone else ever could#For they have tasted me as I truly am and decided my rotten meat is something to savor#I am doing about as alright as any of you Number One#The earth still turns and I will wake up again tomorrow a little less rotten
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The Quest Continues...
(part 1- part 2)
#Fourfold Soul#<- That's the title of the project I've been working on!#I am very excited to finally show off the cowboy (gender redacted) I've been cooking in a slow boil!!! Yeehaw!#Yes this is the game project. YES I am commited to the bit of having the main character go through a long running pronoun-quest.#This character does not have a name so I cannot formally tag them...#(Okay. Technically they have an internal name for coding/scripting reasons...and I have a nickname for them.#But the important part of making a video game character you get to eventually name is that the name must come from *you*!)#The girl here is a npc so she has a temporary name. So I also cannot tag her. Hmm...#I have several FFS comics thumbnailed out. This one got made first because it's the funniest without context. Lore wise it's weak.#I would love to post the sexy clown but you have to wait just a few more comics.#Fun artist woes moment to share: This is the first time I've had to colour these characters traditionally. *That* was NOT fun.#Going from a specific digital colour palette to being at the whims of my limited colour choices in markers? Hell! On! Earth!#I might also be extra frustrated because this sure is 3x the length of what I usually do for comics! I spent a Whole Day on this.#Past me thought it was soooo funny and needed all the extra panels for pacing. I hate past me. That guy needs to be exploded.
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clean your sword
i. Peter had thought many times about dying for his brother, killing for his sisters, as all oldest children do.
ii. He'd imagined it a hundred times: how if his mother and father were ever killed, he'd get some low-skill job and make sure Lucy's clothes still fit her as she grew. How he'd make fists and fight dirty if Susan was ever threatened. What he'd do if Edmund ever had to flee the country on a dark, windswept night.
iii. Yet when he heard Susan's horn that day, he still froze. Only for an instant, he thought, "this can't be my job, right?"
iv. The blood on his sword shone red when it was all over. When he wiped it on the grass, the stain it left was almost black.
v. They'd put Susan in his arms when he was two years old. Peter didn't remember it, but he knew he'd been waiting for her till then. He wasn't a real person until he was a brother.
vi. And when they walked back to the pavilion, Rhindon bumping Peter's hip, all he could say to his sisters was, "I'm sorry I didn't come faster."
vii. The High King was almost obsessive in the way he cared for Rhindon. When he grew older and required weapons larger than those made for a child, he obsessed over them too.
viii. He told the others, in no uncertain terms, that if it ever came to it in battle, they were to leave him and live. As their brother and high king, he commanded it.
ix. The first time Edmund risked himself for Peter's sake, Peter didn't speak to him for a week.
x. He was oiling his sword when Edmund found him. "See, the thing is, Peter, being brothers goes both ways. If you can love me enough to die for me, than I get to love you just the same."
xi. Peter agreed with him then, to avoid the argument. He was sick of not talking to his brother. Yet privately, he knew that Edmund was wrong. That sacrifice was Peter's special prerogative, as the first-born.
xii. Back in England, his mother noticed that Peter had become more fastidious. She didn't notice that his protective streak has grown - and maybe it hadn't, really.
xiii. It was uncanny, how Peter would always show up just when his siblings needed him. He'd round a corner, and there was Lucy stamping her feet and scowling at a bully. There was Susan, crying, and now his knuckles were bloody.
xiv. He cleaned the blood off in the sink so carefully. The water ran red for a second, and it almost seemed black.
xv. When Caspian asked for the High King's advice, looking so very young, Peter jerked his chin towards the sword a Caspian's hip. "Be ready to use that," he said. "Keep it clean, and close."
xvi. Susan forgot Narnia and she forgot Aslan. Yet selfishly, Peter still hoped that she would never forget how quickly he came when she called.
#Peter's whole personality is Big Brother and everything else stems from that. this is why i love him#like. the age gap between my sister and me is not large but i can't think of a time in my childhood when I didn't have contingency plans#for what I'd do if i needed to protect her. or like if we got kidnapped and i needed to fix it. or if mom and dad died what i would do#even when we weren't getting along. i am convinced it's a primal Oldest Sibling instinct#whether these plans were even marginally executable is. another thing#high king over all the rest#narnia#pontifications and creations#leah stories#no one will ever walk the earth so close to you
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i have no other reason of drawing this, other than i just want to
#twisted wonderland#twst#sebek zigvolt#twst yuu#twst grim#twst mc#fanart#who's happy with promo recycling tokens? me! me! me!#i'm so happy i can study potion for text books while also receiving honey from the boxes#i keep running back and forth to sam's mysterious store#i'm so close i'm so cloose i manage to reduce the earth titan's hp to 8000+ i'm so closeeee#why can't the promo recycling tokens be forever#one time i was on piggybackride i remember gravity kept pulling my as s down i never feel more like a burden#i wish at that kind of situation i am feather light like a/nime girl#I JUST HAD THE EARTH TITAN AT 4000+ AUGEGHHSHSHSH
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THEY'RE CANON ASGREASIOAD-
u may not be able to tell, but i am extremely happy bc of this occurrence.
they're r gonna be the most awkward, wholesome pair ever, and i am all in for it.
[EP: Lunar TRIES AGAIN With Gemini In VRChat(LAES)]
#i was fucking shaking when watching it i am not even kidding#i am so not ok about them.#imagine the angst possibility now#oh gods imagine#we're in some deep shit chat#this day literally went from horrible to mid to the greatest one in history#hell fuck yeah#that's exactly what i needed#thank you laes gods#I CAN MAKE THEM KISS- anyway#sams#sun and moon show#sams fanart#laes#lunar and earth show#laes fanart#tsbs#the security breach show#lunar#lunar fanart#sams lunar#laes lunar#gemini#gemini fanart#sams gemini#laes gemini#lumini#lunar x gemini#gemini x lunar#art
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anxiety hangover
#anyone hungry or is it just earth#i present to you million different shades of yellow#p1 mostly pre that whole shebang but already miserable#i really love that pencil sketch of his face looking real smug#drew these traditional pieces sitting on a bench outside#and everything else is from 3 am sessions of course#p1#postal 1997#postal#postal dude#kmp art
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We’ve been looking at this all wrong the entire time...
So my brain is a weird place that I don’t fully understand, but sometimes it connects dots and I figure something out that has been staring us in the face the entire time! Lets just say it explains so many things - right down to the very pointed use of tommy calling Buck Evan!
This all stemmed from me looking at colour theory and costuming for Buck and Eddie (and by extension Tommy) season 7 again, because I was going to try write the buddie costume metas for episodes 9 and 10 that I never managed to get done before we started season 8 I will hopefully get to those posts, but this post - while technically about Tommy and his costumes (yes me ant Tommy person writing a post on him I know!) it does also look at the costuming for Buck and to a lesser extent Eddie more widely across the season and what the colours used actually mean - getting some distance and some time on the season has been a blessing!
Im not going to go into it in detail, but, broadly speaking the show has given each character a signature colour - this doesn’t mean they wear it all of the time - but they do wear it a lot of the time and especially in key scenes - characters can have more than one key/ signature colour, and it can change and develop over time. We can ignore season 1 because it was a pilot season and very often shows won’t choose to establish a signature colour for a character (911 s1 is all over the place from a costuming perspective - because they had several designers working across the 10 episodes but since s2 we’ve had much more continuity with Alayna Bell-Price at the helm for most of it). So for example Athena’s signature colour is mostly black with white and khaki green also in the mix. She’s moved away from that subsequently - wearing less black and more white/creams but both colours are still staples of her wardrobe.
Eddie we all know mirrors Athena from a costuming perspective - his signature colours are also black and khaki green with some white/cream as well. The khaki green was much more dominant than the black to begin with - which played into his military past - that had evened out on the black and khaki front whilst the cream had stayed fairly steady, but now we’re also starting to see a little bit more of it as well as some darker blues. this mirrors Athenas own journey t healing - the more she heals the less Khaki we see and the more white/cream - Eddie is starting to follow the same path from a costume perspective.
Bucks signature colour has always been blue, but he also wears a fair amount of yellow and grey, so those are his three colours. He obviously wears a lot of other colours, especially white, but white has its own specific use in Bucks costumes that sits separately from his signature colours.
We all know about yellow/ blue and green blue colour theory - I’ve gone on about it enough (especially yellow blue colour theory and its queer coding) and others such as @lover-of-mine have as well. Well both yellow/blue and green/blue continued to play out in season 7, I’m not going to go into them in too much detail - there are posts on my pinned post that cover that much better and I want to get to the good stuff (and I know you all do too!)
We do need to remember that Buck and Eddie very very rarely wear blue and green in scenes together - if Eddie is in green Buck won’t be in blue, and vice versa - this is because of the ties to blue/green being Buck and Eddies break up colours - the colours they wear opposite their respective girlfriends when the relationships are ending. This is a little less set for Eddie - who actually wears white/cream much more when he’s ending relationships than blue or green - but the one time he has actively done the breaking up he was in green.
As I was starting to do a bit of work on the 7x9 and 7x10 metas, I ended up going back and looking over the Buck and Eddie costumes for the season as a whole, and how Tommy fit into all of that as well - as we’ve all been billing him as Eddie lite.
While I do still think there is an element of Tommy being Eddie lite, I don’t actually think that is what the show has been doing -that concept is a bit of a red herring. I’m sorry that this is likely to get a bit convoluted and wordy - but my brain is still reeling and incoherent so bear with me - I hope it all makes sense.
Right this post is super long so the rest is going below the cut! I hope you enjoy!
Because I was looking for Eddie and Tommy parallels in the costuming for the season, I had been looking at the choice to put Eddie in red/black for his dinner date with Kim and Buck being in green for the scene at Bucks loft, and the fact that back in 7x04 Tommy had been dressed in the same colours - a red henley which was shot with black giving it a red/black colour way. I naturally started looking at the other Eddie - Tommy costume parallels - and there are plenty - lots of the khaki green we see Eddie in - playing into Tommys own military background.
These are Tommy’s scenes - where he wasn’t in uniform of some description (which is a good chunk of his scenes to be fair)
7x04
at the hangar - white tee, greenish stone coloured shirt and a tan jacket with stonewash jeans
at the court - light grey marl cut off hoodie and bright blue shorts
at Bucks loft - red/black short sleeve henley and stone wash jeans
7x05
at the restaurant -dark khaki green shirt (I would also like to point out the blue green colour theory here with the addition of tommy having a blue phone case - which is relevant later I promise!)
coffee meet up - light grey henley and navy blue hoodie with mid wash jeans
7x06
karaoke club - navy blue short sleeved henley
7x10
light grey marl tee and greenish denim shirt
So what you can see from this is that besides the use of henley’s, the only time we get actually get direct reference to Eddies costuming is through the use of khaki green and his first outfit at the hangar. There is of course the direct parallel of the red/black colour way I spoke of before, but, beyond that if you look you’ll see that Tommys outfits actually parallel Bucks far far more. I would even argue the Henley’s are more similar to Buck than Eddie - because they are short sleeved and Eddies are invariably long sleeved.
Bucks colours are blue and grey - and so are Tommy’s - particularly in scenes that are 1-1 with Buck. What I’m trying to get at and will explain is that this has never ever been about Tommy being Eddie lite - this is all about Tommy being Buck - Buck’s subconscious if you will. (I know you all this I’m completely mad at this point - but stick with me!) I have a lot to say about all of this which will explain the why of it all and how we ended up here so we’re going to go through it Tommy costume by Tommy costume!
Lets start with the hangar scene - the most Eddie like Tommy looks throughout the entire season. this is very much intentional - this is about the red herring of it all, but it is also about Eddie (I’m not discrediting anything we’ve talked about regarding Tommy being Eddie lite etc - it is all relevant - but that’s what makes it such a good red herring!) and about Buck being an unreliable narrator. This is in part why we also still see Buck in his too short trousers and his white sneakers. This is his journey (the sneakers), but he’s still trapped in his old self at this moment in time - but aware that he doesn’t fit his skin anymore (as an aside I will be writing a post about Bucks trousers and their changing fit throughout the seasons at some point soon!)
Script wise the key lines are plentiful - the entire scene is full of double meaning. We get Buck stating that he is ‘happy where he’s at’ and Tommy’s response of ‘you’re thinking of changing things up’. viewed through the idea that Tommy is a version of Buck, this then plays out as an internal conflict - a battle about wanting what you already have - being happy with what you have, but also wanting to change things.
Eddie saying ‘you aren’t thinking of leaving us are you’ and Bucks response ‘I’m keeping my options fluid.’ Eddie needing reassurance that what they have isn’t going to change, while Bucks reply is about him not really being sure of himself - of who he is - keeping his options open because he’s figuring out if he wants to change - the line is said to and directed at Eddie so its about Buck keeping his options open about possibly changing their dynamic - becoming something more, even in the face of Eddie not wanting things to be different. Tommy stating in this scene that Buck doesn’t need to leave the 118 to get certified to fly - that its something he could do for fun on his days off - becomes even more loaded through the internal monologue lens - Buck considering how he can stay at the 118 and have the joy, fun and benefits of ‘flying’ when he isn’t at work - that he could fly with Eddie (Eddie going flying with Tommy to do something fun and date like is a very literal visual metaphor for Bucks internal monologue - showing him what it could be like if he changed things up). There not being three tickets - only two is also important - its again a metaphor this time about how if Buck and Eddies relationship changes - it would only change for the two of them - it would become a relationship that doesn’t have room for another in it. When I say that’s about Chris not being involved it sounds really harsh, but the reality is Chris cannot be a a part of Buddie - he cannot be a part of something romantic. it isn’t saying Chris isn’t important or central to Buck and Eddie - simply that he cannot be a factor in a romantic relationship - that has to be just between Buck and Eddie alone - its kind of about Eddie (and also to a certain extent the same is true for Buck) not being able to hide behind Chris anymore when it comes to Buck.
Fundamentally its all tied back to his death in season 6 (we even get the being struck by lightening reference from Buck just to bring that aspect home) and subsequent resurrection and rebirth (post linked on my pinned post if anyone wants to read it!). we have to keep at the front of our minds that Buck has died and that is still playing on his mind - its still influencing who he is and who he is becoming and it was all throughout season 7 - even if it wasn’t obvious or stated.
The basketball costume is actually the one that has always stood out for me - Its the most Buck outfit of all Tommys outfits. The bright blue shorts especially.
So in that scene, which we know is supposed to read as being from Bucks view point, not only are we getting golden haloed super happy bouncy Eddie - Eddie the way Buck sees him - but Buck is also projecting and seeing Tommy in the place he (Buck) has always existed in. It’s a visual representation of what Buck talked about with Maddie and Tommy replacing him in Eddies life. Its unreliable narrator buck in visuals he’s seeing Eddie replacing him with Tommy - occupying the same places Buck has and more - from the calendar to the basketball court.
But that’s actually wonderful, because not only does it give us information on how Buck views himself (as expendable/replaceable) and how he thinks others view him - because if he thinks he’s similar to Tommy (which for a purely visual stand point he is - Lou looks more like Oliver than Ryan) but it also gives us information about the reality of how much Buck is actually intwined in Eddies (and Christophers) life - its telling us that Buck is in fact on Eddies calendar (and therefore fridge - fridge magnet theory for the win!) and how much space and conversation he occupies in the Diaz’s everyday life.
So he isn’t actually seeing Eddie in Tommy at all - he’s actually seeing the version of himself he doesn’t think he is but wants to be in Tommy. The version of himself that takes Eddie to vegas etc - that’s the Buck that Buck wants to be - the one openly flirting with Eddie and taking him on dates etc. That’s why the vegas fight is so seemingly ott (especially when you think about the fact Tommy and Eddie have known each other a week or so at most by this point) its the grand gesture Buck wishes he could be making.
All of this also makes Bucks ‘attack on Eddie’ more telling (it’s still the boy pulling the girl he likes pig tails in the playground concept) because Eddie is being receptive to all of these advances by Tommy - adding further weight to the Buck being jealous of and threatened by Tommy.
Tommy is this version of Buck swooping in and doing all this stuff that Buck wants to be doing (subconsciously still at this point - willful ignorance be winning) but either didn’t know how to or didn’t know Eddie if would be receptive to. Remembering that this is all Bucks viewpoint of things its essentially Bucks brain showing him what dating Eddie would be like and Buck being Buck misunderstands what his brain is telling him (forever misunderstanding the assignment).
There is a second aspect to this and it ties into Tim’s comments about the hamster wheel Buck has a been stuck on and it being time he got off it - the hamster wheel is actually multifaceted and has more than one meaning. The most important is that the hamster wheel hasn’t ever been about his relationships or about the women he’s dating (or men now). The hamster wheel he’s stuck on is actually the fact that he’s built this strong relationship and family with Eddie and Chris - (you don’t find it son you make it) and its something safe and stable and predictable in his life. Getting off that hamster wheel is about being brave and moving that relationship - that family dynamic onto the next level - removing the platonic aspect of their family and making it a fully formed family for real - romantic love and all - so the ‘platonic’ family is the hamster wheel he actually needs to get off of.
The other aspect of Tommy actually being Buck and the hamster wheel of it all is that hamster wheels are solitary pursuits - the implication is that Buck is the one standing in his own way - and coming back to the basketball game we see that played out in the moment where Buck tries to literally run through Tommy - only you can’t act out at yourself, and Tommy is a literal solid unmoving barrier and Buck won’t get past himself by just trying to bulldoze his way through.
This all then plays into the final Buck and Tommy scene of the episode - in bucks loft. I already spoke above about the red/black of it all, but now with the added concept of Tommy being A version of Buck things start to become more interesting. The red/black of it all is a warning (and the poker date red/black velvet suit and eddies red and black suit from s6 actually play into this as well!) - its dark romance - ‘forbidden’ dangerous romance or love. So for Eddie and his date with Kim that meaning is very self explanatory. The two season 6 suits are also fairly self explanatory - for Eddie again its the dangers of looking for romance that isn’t on your own terms and for Buck at the poker game its about the danger of falling in love with the person you are when you aren’t being truly yourself. Tommy being a version of Buck and this concept is a little more murky - essentially is about a similar thing to his poker suit - with a twist - its about the danger of seeing more value and loving a version of yourself that ‘used to exist’ as well as a version of yourself that you think will make you more attractive to others.
We do also need to Talk about Bucks costume here as well - the fact that it fits him almost perfectly - he’s in well fitted if slightly loose jeans and a navy shirt that isn’t tight with buttons not clinging on for dear life (to the same extent). The colouring is still on the dark side - so its not entirely positive - much in the same way that other scenes with buck in a dark navy shirt are moments where things go a bit askew for Buck (think the taylor ‘I kinda love you for it’ scene from s5 as an example). The implication is that - before Tommy comes along Buck is at his most content with who he is - he’s fitting into his skin better than he has in a long while but it’s not perfect. This is key, firstly because of how the scene unfolds and secondly, because of how he is then costumed from here on out for the rest of the season.
I do also want to mention the yellow blue colour coding in this scene and that is mostly done through the lighting - Buck is in blue and the light behind him is always yellow - he is surrounded by yellow light. In contrast - Tommy is barely touched by the yellow light - not until Buck starts to figure things out - then we get him briefly touched by the yellow light - the rest of the time he is lit very cooly - which is in contrast to the warmth of the loft - and further plays into the idea of Tommy being a stand in for Evan - Evan who isn't loved and accepted in the same way Buck is - Evan who Buck needs to learn to love.
If we look at the script for this scene, it also fits in perfectly with the idea of Bucks internal monologue. Tommy and Eddie being ‘buddie’s’ making perfect sense is a literal aside to the audience telling them that Buddie makes perfect sense - but it is more than that. This is where I have to bring up the ‘Evan’ of it all. I know a lot of us shudder with horror because of the fact Tommy only ever calls Buck ‘Evan’ and how both jarring and rude it is. How it shows how little Tommy knows Buck. We’ve always known it was being done intentionally. Well, if we view the use of Evan through the lens of Tommy being a version of Buck and things become clearer. Because Tommy is basically the old version of Buck - the Buck who existed before he knew Eddie - before he joined the 118. And this is where the choice to bring back Tommy specifically for this role becomes a really smart one - because ‘Evan call me Buck Buckley’ was Tommys replacement at the 118. Tommy who has a problematic past that has never been dealt with on screen. This isn’t about the nature of the problematic past. This is the show playing on the idea of Buck’s software upgrades - before Buck 1.0 there was Evan, and using who Buck replaced at the 118 as a plot device to actually dig into Evan more so that Buck can deal with, accept and move on from Evan and become who Buck is meant to be.
Tommy saying he couldn’t replace Buck furthers this - because Buck cannot go back to being Evan - Evan can never replace Buck. invoking Christopher adds weight to this - because Chris never knew Evan - he’s only ever known Buck and Buck is ‘his Buck’ and irreplaceable. Tommy then stating his jealousy is about Evan feeling the lack of family that he grew up with - the recognition that as Buck he has made a family for himself - Bucks assertion that Tommy (Evan) was a part of it is valid - because without Evan Buck couldn’t build the family he has. The entirety of this conversation is about Buck choosing to ‘get to know’ his past (remember this is coming of the back of Buck crossing out the ‘LEY’ on his nameplate in s6 and his struggles with his parents acceptance in that season before the lightening strike), choosing to learn about Evan and embrace him as a part of Buck.
Bucks assertion that he was ‘trying to get [Tommys] attention and it being exhausting’ is part of that as is the confusion Tommy expresses. The choice for Buck to use the word ‘exhausting’ - it’s Bucks subconscious trying to get his own attention - its his subconscious telling Buck that he’s exhausting himself by not listening to what his inner voice is saying. It’s of course a play on Buck being called exhausting by other people (and is perhaps why he doesn’t have the confidence to listen to that inner voice) and that also plays into the Evan of it all and how Buck views himself. Tommys confusion also plays into that - bucks own mind is confused - it was getting ready to ‘pursue’ Eddie but now we’re pivoting into what is essentially self love.
The continued bringing up of Eddie also makes sense with the contact of Tommy being alt Buck - because Eddie Eddie Eddie fills Bucks heart and mind - Both Evan and Buck recognise Eddies importance if not his full relevance in this moment. The resulting kiss then becomes less about Bucks bi awakening (I am not diminishing the importance of that in any way shape or form - its a vital aspect of Bucks journey) and more about Bucks decision to pursue loving himself - this ties into his statement ‘it wasn’t about me wanting to leave the 118 - it was about wanting to get to know you’ - its about Buck wanting to get to know himself - on the other side of his death and resurrection. It’s a continuation of his comments about Natalia ‘seeing him perhaps better than he sees himself’ - it’s about Buck starting to see himself better now he’s died and essentially been reborn and bout Buck now being in a place where he feels ready to confront that idea of being reborn and becoming someone new.
At the restaurant in 7x05 we have Tommy in an Eddie colour, but in a shirt that is much more Bucks style. There is also the green/blue colour play with Tommy stating Buck isn’t ready and Tommys ‘mismatched’ clothing bears that up - the play is on Bucks lingering confusion and uncertainty about what he wants - is it the Eddie side of things we’re pursuing the self love of Evan aspect we’re looking to explore? The entire scene is not just about Bucks first ‘date with a dude’ its also about Bucks fumbled attempts at self love - at not getting it right - its why Bucks outfit doesn’t fit him- why they’re now too big and baggy (I wrote about this in my costume meta for that episode - which like all the other costume posts can be found linked on my pinned post). The innuendo about closets and Buck going into masculine bro mode is as much about his nervousness about being on a date with Tommy and being seen as it is about the fact that a man practicing self love is still taboo and so often met with derision - hiding that you are pursuing that is a kin to hiding queerness - at the start - until you get to a good place with it.
We side step into the Buck and Eddie loft scene briefly to look at Bucks confession to Eddie - I could write a whole thing on Eddies acceptance of Buck and its importance - but that is for a different post that isn’t already a million words long! what I want to mention in this scene is the why Buck can’t stop thinking about Tommy of it all - how it is essentially establishing the idea that Buck is starting to listen to himself. He can’t stop thinking about Tommy because it isn’t Tommy he can’t stop thinking about it’s actually himself - Evan - in a learning to love himself and embrace who he is and was kind of way - all being done through a bi lens. it is essentially about Buck doing the thing he needs to do to be ready for a forever relationship with Eddie - which is love and accept himself - all of himself and acknowledging that to Eddie.
Buck switches back to better fitting clothes for the coffee date - and tommy is now dressed back in Buck colours and no trace of anything resembling Eddie in sight - making it clear that Buck has chosen to pursue himself. To get himself to the place he needs and wants to be first - the line about not knowing what it is he’s ready for but being ready for something is key - its a very self love line, but it also puts a very clear time frame on things - it makes it clear that Tommy is not endgame - because Bucks choosing self love and embracing and understanding ‘Evan’ isn’t his end game but a part of his bigger journey - a part of becoming who he needs to be to achieve what he actually wants - to get him to his endgame.
Then we have the Karaoke - brief scene(s). There isn’t really a huge amount in these scenes. But I do want to point out two things - the awkwardness of Buck and Tommys hug - and how that plays into the tentative nature of Bucks self love journey - and also Eddies behaviour towards Tommy - and the way it was very very clearly a lot cooler than we saw in 7x04.
We all jumped on the Petty Eddie train - and I agree there is an element of that. But - there is also the fact we are not seeing that scene through Bucks eyes - its through external eyes and we are therefore seeing the actual reality of Eddie and Tommys friendship - in that it isn’t this heightened date like - flirty new love type relationship - its simply two people who are loosely friends. Its remarkably normal and no threatening - only furthering the entire purpose of 7x04 being from Bucks viewpoint and Tommy being an alt Buck rather than an alt Eddie. It also therefore serves to further establish the Buddie of it all (but we all already knew that!). Tommy is still in Buck colours and the short sleeved henley is still something I would put more into the Buck costume camp than the Eddie one - especially in this season!
The final Tommy scene and costume is the date at Bucks loft and the conversation about daddy kink. I still don’t like this scene (which has a lot more to do with execution and the script than the actual daddy kink of it all) but I am much more sanguine about it now that I understand what it is setting up.
Bear with me here I probably won’t make sense, but with the knowledge that Tommy is actually buck lite - a less good and developed version buck (Evan and in part the version of Buck that Buck himself thinks he is) the daddy kink scene actually becomes about setting up Buck addressing his past and his actual real daddy issues - because bucks past self sees his worth in those issues and without them it means both Evan and Buck have no worth. Buck confronting and dealing with them and choosing to forgive and move on means the end of Buck and Tommy because Tommy is no longer needed - he has served his purpose and Buck would be ready to start his future - Evan stays in the past and Buck completes his rebirth and closes his lightening strike arc.
Onto Bucks season 8 journey - Bringing Gerrard in to Bucks arc rather than the others who have far more connection to Gerrard now begins to make much more sense. Tommys past under Gerrard actually echoes Bucks past - in different ways and to vastly different degrees, but the parallel is there. S1 Buck being a play boy and sleeping around and not treating women especially well (objectifying them etc) because of his own hang ups - is a pale echo of Tommy being closeted and racist sexist and homophobic under Gerrard. Like I said before - Buck is a pale imitation to Tommy here and that’s intentional (more in a sec) because once Tommy is under the wing of Bobby when he takes over the 118 we see him begin to grow and change. Buck follows the same pattern - Bobbys guidance pulls him away from his destructive behaviours and sets him onto the right path (Bobby is arguably the birther of Buck - Look I could write a whole thing off the back of my death and resurrection of Buck post about Bobbys role as God - the heavenly father - in Bucks life and how that is the overarching theme of Bobby and the show but I don’t have the time tbh!) to ‘redemption’.
Bucks behaviour is very intentionally not as bad as Tommys behaviour, because if Tommy is the plot device meant to essentially represent Bucks subconscious and how he views himself, then the reason we haven’t been shown Tommy atoning for any of his past sins and behaviours is because Buck hasn’t forgiven himself for his own. Buck is his own worst critic and will self flagellate to a ridiculous degree - and again with him being an unreliable narrator - he views his past indiscretions as being the equivalent of Tommys - therefore in his mind he hasn’t yet done enough to deserve absolution (Buck and Bobby being father and son in this as well!).
Which brings me to s8 and the return of Gerrard and what Bucks arc is going to be (this is slightly incoherent and not fully formed - I’m still percolating!). Gerrard being central to Bucks arc - and Bucks push back is imo going to be about Buck taking a good look at himself and recognising/ facing up to and accepting his past. And that actually does come down to the daddy issues of it all. Because if Bobby is as good as Bucks dad - and allowed him (and his subconscious in the form of Tommy) to develop and grow - then Gerrard is Phillip Buckley (obviously a heightened more terrible version of reality in the same way Tommy is a much worse version of Buck) who parented Evan through apathy and taking the easy route - we saw Evan pushing back against Phillip in Buck Begins and being rewarded for it and thus establishing Bucks self destructive and self sacrificing pattern of behaviour. Acting out and getting hurt got him attention - so Buck acting out against Gerrard is this reduced and will ultimately have the same results just in an essentially more destructive way. This is is a good thing - because this is about Buck recognising that he is worth and acting out etc is detrimental to him progressing as a person - its going to actively prevent his self love journey to flourish (and this is why in part I maintain my belief that Tommy is going to, if not encourage Bucks behaviour, then at least tell him to go along with Gerrard demands - for an easy life and also part of why I don’t think we’ll see a huge amount of Tommy - at least to begin with - until we get to a point where Buck is really motoring on the self love journey and getting to the point where he needs to do some pre break up face to face conversations that move him forward!). It’s about forgiving and accepting his father for how Evan was raised - Bucks arc is going to be about forgiving himself and allowing himself to be happy, and he cannot do that if he doesn’t go through the Gerrard stuff - which is essentially a type of therapy. That’s also where I think the golf comes into it - it’s a metaphor for Buck building bridges, gaining understanding and accepting his past with his father - the metaphor of the driving range being the idea of standing side by side and performing the same thing, but landing in different places. There is also the concept of improving ones self and choosing to not repeat the mistakes of the past.
It also means the thing Tim said about Buck and Tommy becoming more comfortable with one another makes much more sense, and why he’d flip the question to talk about Eddie and about Eddie feeling a bit left out in the cold but not out in the cold! Buck is becoming more comfortable with himself and while he’s doing that and learning to be happy etc as I described above. Eddie is going to feel left out - because this is about Buck not Eddie - because it’s about Buck being ready for forever with Eddie - and Eddie ultimately cannot be a part of that journey - Buck has to do it for himself in the same way that Buck cannot help or be there while Eddie goes through his reckoning with the Catholic Church, and faiths place in his life and also dealing with the ghost of Shannon and his mother issues(because he has those and they are all set up to go in s8 - Chris being in Texas really sets that up nicely!
Bahaha Tim I’ve finally figured out your question answering methods and how they tell us all we need to know!!
All this to say - Tommy is actually alt Buck - not Eddie lite (I mean he is still also that but it’s a bit of a red herring) he is a plot device for the biggest thing about Buck as a character and it all means Buddie here we come!
Thank you so so much if you have read this epic piece of waffle - I hope you enjoyed and I truly look forward to hearing all your thoughts on this and to you being as insane about it as I am!
Tagging some people who asked (and some who didn’t but might be interested anyway!)
@spotsandsocks @exhuastedpigeon @lover-of-mine @fruityfirehose @leothil
@bewitchedbewilderedbisexual @theladyyavilee @livingwherethesidewalkends @craigyxo
@izzysbeans @buddiediaz118 @inell @hotshotsxyz @winterskydragonx
#Man I hope this makes sense!#kym writes meta#kym costume meta#sort of#911 meta#gonna make a mini post about this to as I don't know how many people will actually read all 1 million words that I'e written!!!#Tommy isn't actually Eddie lite - He's actually alt Buck!#imo it all fits better than the Tommy is Eddie lite theory#which still works and is part of it - but I think the Buck angle is the more compelling one and makes more sense in the wider show!#If I am remotely right about this I will be flinging myself into the su n and never returning to earth!#anti bucktommy#anti tommy kinard#just to be safe as I know I'll likely get hate for this post from them!#911 spoilers#evan buckley#eddie diaz#911 abc#buddie#my iinsane theories
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holy fuck harrow is a product of her parent’s genocide and alecto is a product of jod’s genocide how have i never put this together before
i’m trying to spell out my thoughts about this but i cant get past how a horrific number of people had to die in order for them to exist
#was this obvious did everyone else know this?#the locked tomb#harrowhawk#harrow the 9th#gideon the ninth#gideon the 9th#alecto the ninth#alecto the first#tlt#tlt spoilers#locked tomb#locked tomb spoilers#i actually just collapsed into a chair over this I’m so drama#like obviously harrow and gideon’s relationship foils of jod and alecto’s and harrow is jod and gideon is alecto.#because jod and harrow are necromancers and also the one running things as god or as reverend daughter.#and gideon and alecto both come from unknown origins (to the people around them) and had to ‘die’ to give power to their necromancer.#wait no also cause gideon was the only survivor of that genocide and alecto is the embodiment of what remains of life on earth.#also alecto is described as having been violently created#and considering gideon’s conception and wake’s death i wouldnt say gideon’s all that different#hi today i am going insane#four way foils they all foil each other#i feel like maybe this is obvious and I’m just slow but i hadnt put it together spelled out like this before#i LOVE character foils so much
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i hate to be the one to say it, but the reason Deadpool was wrapped in seatbelts is because he wanted to cuddle and Wolverine wasnt having it
#sorry you had to find out like this#truly i am#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool 3#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool x wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#x men#god cannot stop me from speaking the truth#not untill i am wrapped in the embrace of the earth
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from where do you read the manga?
I know this is not what you asked for, but here’s a masterlist of bsd resources I’ve used over the past year. Because every time I join a new fandom I always think “oh, I sure wish there was an all-inclusive masterlist that explained in detail how the material is divided and where to access to it instead of having to dig in myself”. So, this is for you January 2022 Kyotag, and for anyone else who might find this useful! I trust posting this on Tumblr is safe, but please do not share this outside of Tumblr in any way; it’s not for me, it’s for all the people who care to share. Specifically, do not share this on Twitter in any way or form. I will unleash a wild pre-promise Akutagawa after you if you do.
Edit: My biggest thank you to @amythedemisimp, who helped me expand and enrich this list. For your priceless contribution, thank you so much!!! Edit 2: Thank you so much u/barnacleunderthesea for reaching out and sharing new stage play subtitles!!! Check out their BSD English Content Archive here.
BSD resources masterpost
Before visiting any of the websites listed below, make sure to install and activate the uBlock Origin extension and to be using Firefox web browser.
Bungou Stray Dogs Story by Kafka Asagiri, art by Sango Harukawa. The original manga. Ongoing, monthly chapter release.
• MONTHLY CHAPTER FANTRANSLATIONS: translator 1 • Website 1: Official English translation of the manga up to volume 19 / chapter 83 (including all the extra volume contents and omakes) and fantranslations from chapter 84 upwards. It’s my favorite streaming platform for the manga as it grants easy access and download to most of the official translation (the quality is not the best, a sligthly blurry 900×1350px per page, but it is what it is). When visitng on mobile, there’s surges of adds on certain days for some reason, but overall it’s manageable. • Website 2: Official translation up to volume 20 (chapter 88), fantranslations after that. • Website 3: Official translation up to volume 23 (chapter 104), fantranslations after that. Lacks all the additional volumes content (and thus the first page of every volume since it’s in colour). Includes the Japanese raws up to chapter 104, so it’s useful if you need to quickly check the original. Denies download of the pages, and features a watermark. • Website 4: All the chapters fantraslated. Recommending it because it’s always nice to read different translations (and endearing too, at times. You wouldn’t want to miss “Dazai Osamu – Ability: Human Failure”), and because it’s for some reason the only website my university’s wi-fi allows me the access to, so shout-out to it. • Website 5: Raws from chapter 79 up to date. The image quality (1164×1618px) is generally better than the official manga English release.
Bonus chapter 1 • Bonus chapter 2 • Bonus chapter 3 • Bonus chapter 4 • Bonus chapter 5 /// (alt. translation)
DVD omakes
• DVD omakes English fantranslations masterlist • Vol 4 omake English fantranslation • Vol 9 omake • DEAD APPLE DVD omake English fantranslation • Folder with all the avaible omakes fantranslated in Chinese
Wan! Story and art by Neco Kanai. Gag spin-off manga. Ongoing.
• Link 1: Download link of the official English translation of the first four volumes of the manga • Link 2: Chapters 1-22; fantranslation. • Link 3: Masterlist of fantranslated chapters • Link 4: Various misc chapters fantranslations • Link 5: Various misc chapters fantranslations • Link 6: Various misc chapters fantranslations
Gaiden: Ayatsuji Yukito VS. Kyōgoku Natsuhiko Story by Kafka Asagiri, art by Oyoyo. Manga adaptation of a spin-off novel. Currently in unofficial hiatus (?).
• Link 1: Download link of the official English translation of the first two volumes of the manga • Website 1: Fantranslation of all the released chapters
DEAD APPLE Story by Bungo Stray Dogs DA partners, art by Gun_Zi. Manga adaptation of the novel adaptation of the Dead Apple Movie. Completed.
• Link 1: Download link of the official English translation of the four manga volumes • Website 1: Fantranslation up to chapter 13 (discontinued)
BEAST Story by Kafka Asagiri, art by Shiwasu Hoshikawa. Manga adaptation of an alternative universe spin-off novel. Completed.
• Link 1: Download link of the official English translation of the four manga volumes • Website 1: Official English translation. Denies download of the pages, and features a watermark. • Website 2: Fantranslation • Website 4: Raws (1115×1600px)
Dazai, Chūya, Age Fifteen Story by Kafka Asagiri, art by Shiwasu Hoshikawa. Manga adaptation of a spin-off novel. Completed.
• Website 1: Official English translation up to volume 2 (chapter 10) • Website 2: Fantranslation • Website 3: Raws (1115×1600px)
Anthologies Six official anthologies, compilations of gag and slice-of-life oneshot chapters by various authors.
• Anthologies raws and translations masterlist
Novels Ten light novels set in the bsd universe and written by the bsd author that complete, expand and enrich the bsd story.
• Link 1: Folder containing all the nine official English translations of the novels, a fantranslation of Gaiden and a pdf merging novels 1-7 (minus Dead Apple) fantranslated in Chinese. • Link 2: Official English translations of the first eight novels, avaible to read online. • Link 3: Fanmade audiobooks of the first seven novels officially translated in English.
Extra Light Novels
• Gakuen Bungo Stray Dogs (fantranslation (incomplete)) • Untitled Ikebukuro Flagship Animate Store Story (fantranslation) • Kunikida and Katai's Brilliant Days (fantranslation) • The Day I Picked Up Dazai: Side A, Side B (fantranslation)
Rakugaki Note Collection of bsd illustrations by Sango Harukawa, published in 2016
• Folder link
Anime Five season anime. Watch order is season 1 → season 2 → Hitori Ayumi (OVA) → DEAD APPLE (movie) → season 3 → season 4 → season 5
Streaming site 1 • Streaming site 2
Drama CDs Audio dramas recorded by the anime voice actors cast, released between 2015 and 2017. Some albums feature character songs.
• Drama CDs masterlist
Bungou Stray Radio Web radio for the anime hosted by Yuto Uemura (Atsushi’s va)
• Playlist (missing episode 17) (untranslated)
Welcome! To Uemura Detective Agency Anime vas show hosted by Yuto Uemura (Atsushi’s va) included in the first anime season blu-ray
• Playlist with all 12 episodes (untranslated) • Episode 5 highlights translation
Stage plays Eight stage plays that adapt different anime seasons and novels
• Folder link (mostly translated)
BEAST movie Direction by Kōichi Sakamoto, script by Kafka Asagiri. Movie adaptation of an alternative universe spin-off novel.
• Folder link
Official pages
• Kafka Asagiri's Twitter • Sango Harukawa’s Twitter • Sango Harukawa’s blog • Shiwasu Hoshikawa’s Twitter • Gun_Zi’s Twitter • Neco Kanai’s Twitter • Official manga Twitter account • Official anime Twitter account • Official Mayoi Twitter account • Official stage plays Twitter account • Official Beast movie Twitter account • Official exhibition Twitter account • Official Gakuen Twitter account • Official Wan! serialization site • Official Gaiden serialization site • Official DEAD APPLE serialization site
Other resources
• BSD wiki • Mayoi wiki • BSD-bibliophile • BSD updates countdown • BSD calendar • Interviews masterlist • Magazines Archive • Archive of official art • Megathread of art by Harukawa • Megathread of anime art • Merch archive 1 • Merch archive 2 • Official art scans • Website for manga volume raws, dvd ripoff, op/ed albums and basically everything • @/akutagawaprize, Tumblr archive of official content through 2015-2020 • @/popopretty’s blog for misc translations • Guidebook Gongeroku scans • Masterpost of literature works referenced in the bsd franchise • BSD Honorifics and Nicknames • Every Piece of Information Involving the Book • BSD anime irl locations tour
If you found this list useful, could you consider contributing to the archive? Things it would be nice to add include:
• Good quality scans (>1350px) of the 20th volume of the manga (Sorry. Once again, personal request.) • Wan! official English translations (minus volumes 1-4) • Retrieve the missing short drama Return of the Detective's Good Mood • English subtitles for the remaining stage plays (BSD on Stage & Fifteen) • Better quality versions of the stage plays in general (especially Fifteen) • Translations of the remaining Anthology chapters (please check the masterlist above, I ran out of links per post) • Translations of untranslated magazines interviews (check out the megazines archive spreadsheet to see what has and hasn't been translated so far) • Anthology 6 raws • Anthology 1 official English translation • Scans of any of the Guidebooks (except for Gongeroku) / Genga Collections / Illustration books
If you think something should be added to this list, please do not hesitate to reach out!
LAST UPDATED: 25/10/24
#Am probably forgetting about something but eh this should suffice for now#Please let me know if you think of anything I should add!!!#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd masterpost#mine#my masterlist#If anyone notices any typo can you please hmu? I wrote this from computer so I didn't have the keyboard outocorrector :p#people asks me stuff#And when the time has come for me to abandon this earth (leave the bsd fandom)#remember me for having fought the strongest war (trying to catalogue the bsd content)#as your weakest soldier (a ss/kk shipper in a s/kk world)
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