#i am fighting the hardest battle over here trying to not spoil anything from how the original lore went down

[bardicblast]

[puppy-phum]

some heihua for the soul

so the update for Binding isn’t happening today bc my brain is complete mush after trying to aggressively finish my thesis yesterday and i decided to give my brain two days off bc of that. also, i promised @ashenwren some time to beta read the ending part (which they already did but! now i need some time with it myself) so i am leaving everybody to wait until saturday. 

meanwhile, i am offering yall a sneak peek/first look at my heihua fic which is very loosely tied to my pingxie. basically, this is just me playing around with hei xiazi as a character and his and xiao hua’s dynamic’s more... tender side. 

i know that @jockvillagersonly and ashen have already read this which has been amazing so thank you for your love ♥ but take this again ^^ also thanks to @cross-d-a for listening to me ramble about heihua and sharing this idea with me. and thank you to @i-am-just-a-kiddo​ who i’m doing all of this for ♥ you are the best parent-in-law for these two and this fandom!

It’s a bad week for him. 

First, it’s the girl he finds while raiding a warehouse full of smuggled weapons and possibly, most likely, drugs. She’s maybe twelve, eyes wide and hair messy, bones poking her skin where Hei Xiazi can see her elbows flashing under her short sleeves. There are bruises around her wrists and burn marks on the inside of her arms. She doesn’t speak but she doesn’t have to, all of her screaming of experiences worthy of a hundred years instead of a dozen. 

She presses her face into her hands when Hei Xiazi fires his gun, and he feels something come loose inside of him at the broken, aborted noise she makes that rings louder than the shot itself. 

Hei Xiazi carries her kicking and screaming out of the warehouse, leaving behind the slowly ending gun fight and the smell of gasoline. She only goes silent once Hei Xiazi puts her down, flinching bodily away from him but not going far. She hovers, fingers slowly curling around the hem of his long jacket while they wait, shoulders hunching against the cold. Hei Xiazi offers her his jacket with a smile, buys her a sandwich which she then throws up, and helps her into a hospital once they’re safe to leave. 

No one else stays behind with her. All the other people they found from that warehouse scattered as soon as the fight began and only she remained, lost in the thought of having to leave the premises that had become her world. She has no family, no house, no money. Hei Xiazi watches her leave with the social workers, bones of her wrists like twigs threatening to snap even after some proper meals and eyes so big they seem to swallow the light around her. She still hasn’t said a word. Hei Xiazi doubts she ever will. 

Her pale face looks like a ghost as she turns to give Hei Xiazi one last glance over her shoulder, and that’s what she becomes to him once he goes home and puts that warehouse out of his mind. It’s hard and he feels himself haunted, and whatever it was that got loose in his chest rattles like the tail of a snake. 

Then, he hears about Su Wan. Hears about the mission that went south with the three youngsters. Hears about Su Wan getting hurt. 

It isn’t anything new in their line of business to get hurt, to even die. When he first met the boy in the desert, he predicted he would find him six feet under after only a day. There was too much softness in Su Wan, too much trust, too much naivete. He had a big brain and clever ideas but his core was gooey, leaking out in way too telling bursts, leaving nothing hidden. 

Su Wan had reminded Hei Xiazi of young Wu Xie. Even his floundering with his knife had reminded him of Wu Xie. Even his adaptability had been annoyingly similar to Wu Xie’s, and Hei Xiazi had questioned his taste in students. At least the boy had paid better. At least the boy hadn’t been wishing to die. 

He had not expected, after knowing all of that, to experience such fear when he first heard that Su Wan had gotten himself stabbed and had almost bled out in a cave, with only Li Cu and Yang Hao to look after himself and a saving bed of a hospital hours away. His hands had shook, making it impossible to hold anything while trying to breathe, and he had quickly been reminded of the little girl, torn open and going a bit feral just because she didn’t know what to do.

It was a surprisingly new thing to care. As surprising as the fact that he still knew of such things.

“I thought I had taught you better, kid,” he says as he goes to the hospital, in the middle of the night of all things, having to cover Su Wan’s mouth so that he doesn’t scream and wake up the better half of the city. The boy’s eyes are wide and heartbeat rapid under his fingers where he can feel it pulsing against Su Wan’s jaw. Then the boy is scrambling at his fingers to speak from between them. He pulls his hand away. 

“Hei-ye!” the boy whispers fervently, like an anchor casted in water. “I thought you were out of the country!”  

“I was until yesterday when I heard that you got stabbed,” he explains, voice leaning more towards mockery than any actual care. Su Wan knows what that means. The boy knows more than anyone else has ever known about a person like Hei Xiazi. It’s a strange thing but Hei Xiazi has come to almost like it. 

“I’m fine!” the boy chirps, lighting up like a lightbulb. Hei Xiazi helps him sit in his bed, snatching a chair for himself from the corner, and then evaluates the damage. Su Wan is smiling while a thick roll of bandages circle his stomach. There are at least thirty stitches there, curving along his side. Some more adorn his bicep where he tried to evade another blade. A darkening bruise is making his cheek swell, casting an extra shadow under his chin. 

Hei Xiazi sighs and closes his eyes when Su Wan starts to tell the story, his voice a soft whisper made even softer with lingering sleep. The beep of the machines tell Hei Xiazi the boy is alive. The painful thrum of his own heart tells him he’s alive too. 

Su Wan falls asleep holding onto Hei Xiazi’s sleeve. He cannot remember how the boy got the leather between his fingers but prying his hold away is like bending steel. It feels impossible and burns equal amounts. 

Finally, he slips back into the cold night. 

He doesn’t go to his apartment, the one he’s currently occupying, his few belongings strewn across the floor and nothing making the place feel like his. Even after years and years and years, some part of him still feels sick at the thought of emptiness. He’s tried his hardest to carve his bones empty and chest clean but after each year spent alone or with someone or wanting, he realizes it’s a battle he cannot win. There’s something terribly strong under his ribs. It refuses to die even before his curse of immortality and the knowledge that goes beyond his comprehension. It refuses to die even when facing the cold, cruel world. 

The walls surrounding the Xie Manor are high but not high enough to keep him at bay. If they were, he would’ve never come here. He would’ve never returned, not after he once left. 

Climbing up the wall of the manor to the third floor makes his lungs burn, but then he’s pushing the window open already, stepping silently onto the polished floor. 

“Xiazi,” a familiar voice says, not even pretending to sound sleepy. “It’s three in the morning. Is it really a suitable time to be visiting the head of Xie family?”

Hei Xiazi smiles, shrugging off his leather jacket and placing it onto the back of a chair beside him. The air in the room feels chilly with the window open but he likes to hear the noises from outside and he likes the line of silver painted onto the floor and across the luxurious double bed. He likes that he can pretend his vision is so clear just because of the moon. 

“Hua’er-ye,” he says back, voice like honey because he loves to tease this man and loves how the tone makes his perfect eyebrows pinch. “Are you sure this isn’t a dream?”

“I would dream you naked at least, not dripping mud all over my floors.”

“As you wish,” he says and reaches for his own belt before moving closer to the bed, toeing his shoes off on the first two steps.

Xie Yuchen is warm but firm when Hei Xiazi meets his body, crashing into his lips and then slipping hands down his silk covered spine. He hums, hiding his laugh. He’s always loved the absolute brilliance and practicality and strength of this man but under all that, Xie Yuchen is a little spoiled. A rich family head. A powerful man with more money than Hei Xiazi could possibly imagine. He’s never tried, not really caring. For all his acting, he’s never gone for Xie Yuchen for his money. 

He takes care of helping Xie Yuchen out of his expensive pajamas, kissing him wet and shivering after each uncovered piece of skin. There is something beautiful about Xie Yuchen in the stark light of the moon, eyes burning bright and the line of his throat like an invitation. Hei Xiazi wishes he could tell him that, sometimes, but he’s preferred to seal his lips. His poetry would not suit the ears of Xie Yuchen. 

He’s never been one for pretty words, crude and almost barbaric instead, tongue made out of barbwire and mind of a strategic plan. Between them, all those edges exist in harmony, and so he’s never felt the need for anything more, enjoying the simplicity of just being. 

Ironically, as the sun is already rising, coloring the horizon with its colorless light, he still descends into words. It’s like something is pulling them out of his chest, and when there’s a force outside of his control beneath his ribs, he cannot do anything but unravel upon Xie Yuchen’s white satin sheets.

“There was this girl,” he says, looking into the still remaining dark – or as dark as anything can be for his eyes, that comfort taken from him ages ago. “I saved her from a warehouse a couple of days ago. She didn’t speak, couldn’t eat because she’d been kept hungry for so long. There were burn marks on her arms, probably from cigarettes or a lighter. They told me she was thirteen. She didn’t look like she was thirteen.”

Xie Yuchen’s hands are on his back, brushing lightly against his shoulder blades, drawing something there. His heartbeat is steady under Hei Xiazi’s cheek and his skin burns, burns, burns. He remembers how he had looked at that girl in the eyes and seen himself there. 

“I remember,” he says quietly, closing his eyes, “feeling the same burn on my skin. I have no memories of when or why but I know there were cigarettes. I know her pain. I know the scars.”

“Were you a child back then?” Xie Yuchen asks, his body a strong, sturdy thing against him. A rock. A mountain. He never thought he would feel lost in this world but there is something about himself in every child he’s ever saved, in all of their wide, fearful eyes, in all of their screams, their desperate fight, their bared teeth and messy heads of hair. There’s something about him in all of their thrumming, wild panic, like a bird under their skin; in their desperation to get away, to find a place to belong, to find safety and food and trust. To heal a body that has not been their own or has felt like an enemy or a liability or a curse. 

He cannot remember the time he was a child, cannot remember the time before he went blind and began to see too much, cannot remember being anything but this eternal man on the outskirts of the world. He cannot remember ever having a family or feeling the absence of it. 

But then, there’s this echo in his mind. It rings back from the eyes of every child he’s ever tried to help. He thinks, maybe, he still knows how he lost. 

“I only remember being burned,” he says. “I only remember the pain and being afraid. And isn’t that a stupid thing to remember when it could be so many things?” He laughs, as much as it can be a laugh when something twists inside of his chest, bringing tightly together that something that was let loose. He chokes on it, feeling his voice die down. Xie Yuchen turns beside him so that they both lie on their sides, looking at each other. The line of the moon falls over Xie Yuchen’s hips and almost lands on Hei Xiazi’s waiting hand. 

“Bad things linger,” Xie Yuchen says with a certainty of a man who knows this to be true. During the years, Hei Xiazi has learned a couple of the bad things that happened to this proud man. “But you are turning them into something good.”

“And how much does it change to save a couple of children?” he huffs, tired of the heart that cannot leave him at peace.  

“For them, everything.”

[zozee122-2]

The War Ends at Dusk

This is my first fan fiction, so I worked super hard on it! This is the prologue, and the first chapter is finished so I will post that shortly. The premise is four years after the accounts of RWBY and Blake and Yang are awaiting the birth of their first child. Ruby, Weiss, Nora, and Ren are in the waiting room awaiting the birth of the bumbleby baby. The fic is centered around the bee family, and add a bit of found family trope and new age angst.

WC: 2,214

“Does anyone know how much longer this is going to take? I mean they’ve been in there almost 10 months!” Nora barked, getting up to stretch. Ren sighed and grabbed his partner’s hand.

“Patience, please Nora. This has got to be hard on Blake and Yang too.” Ren said ever ready to calm down his excitable partner.

Ruby chuckled, “Guess they’ll be as stubborn as Yang. Taking bets that they’ll be born tomorrow?” she said checking the clock on the wall which read 5:38 pm, the group had been there since Yang’s frantic group text that early morning that Blake was going into labor.

“I’ll put ten liens on that bet, Ruby” Nora said tossing Ruby a rolled-up bill.

Weiss and Ren collectively sighed at their partner’s immaturity and gave each other a knowing look.

“Ruby, your sister’s wife, your best friend, is giving birth to her first child have some sympathy.” Weiss retorted rubbing the bridge of her nose. The four of them sat in silence for a minute. It seemed impossible that they were here together to celebrate life. Something none of them saw in their future a mere four years ago when they were fighting for their lives and battling a unkillable creature. Ruby sat back in the hospital seat closing her remaining eye. She was about to be an aunt, she still couldn’t believe that they were all here like this, yesterday it seemed that Blake and Yang announced they were officially dating, yesterday that they were trapped in Purgatory without seeing any way out. Ruby smiled, she couldn’t quite describe how elated she was to celebrate this moment with her closest friends and family.

“You know,” Ruby started, “I don’t know if you all feel this way, but this feels unreal.”

Weiss looked to her best friend and smiled sincerely, “It does feel unreal. Like all the tribulations we went through as teenagers seems so close, yet so far away. I’m happy in a way that we were a part of the new future that we are giving to Blake and Yang’s child, to all future generations, that they will never have to worry about the things we did.”

“Never thought a future would exist for us like this,” Nora chimed in, taking Ren’s hand, “After everything, I am so thankful that I get to experience this moment. Can’t imagine what they must be feeling too and I’m glad Jaune is assisting in boosting her aura for childbirth.” She smiled and looked towards the birth wing.

Ren rubbed her hand with his, smiling contently, “When we became huntsman it seemed like a forever thing, like we would never be able to experience moments in life as precious as this. I felt like this at Yang and Blake’s wedding too. Their happiness and love for each other filled the room with pink petals, their emotions were so raw and real, I can even feel it today.”

The three smiled at him, “You always know what to say, Ren.” Weiss said, “I just cannot wait to spoil the little thing.”

The group laughed, “They just have to hurry up and get out into the world!” Nora yelled earning a strict look from one of the nurses. She uttered a soft apology while Ruby chuckled and in turn Weiss gave her a look.

Ruby sighed, “It is taking a long time, I hope she’s okay. Has anyone heard anything from Yang or Jaune?”

The four of them checked their scrolls, “Haven’t heard anything sense ‘Blake is 7 centimeters,’ and that was two hours ago.” Weiss replied, huffing quietly in annoyance.

“Hmm, well we could tell some stories to pass the time?” Ruby asked rubbing her chin.

Nora looked up at her, “Practicing your story telling skills on us before you have to tell famous, huntress who saved all of Remnant Auntie Ruby Rose stories?” Nora asked.

Ruby laughed, “Partially, I guess. So, yes, or no?”

Ren nodded, “I’d like to hear some, maybe some that we were not together for? Like what you’ve been doing now with Jaune and Weiss?”

Weiss looked at Ruby, not like her work now was anything confidential, just not something Ruby liked to talk about specifically. It hit close to her.

Ruby took a long sigh, she closed her good eye and raised her hand to touch her scarred over right eye, “I’d hate to put a damper on our good moods,” Ruby let out a long breath and Weiss put her hand on Ruby’s shoulder.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you do not want to Ruby, it’s not an easy topic to discuss,” Weiss reassured Ruby.

Ruby looked to Weiss, who has been next to her throughout her whole journey, never questioning Ruby’s judgement, the most loyal person Ruby has ever met. However, Weiss was right, this was not an easy topic to talk about. Especially when this only mattered to her, but she has not discussed this with anyone except her teammates and Oscar. She was reminded of her mother for a moment, and Maria who did not have a lot of information to give her either on the silver eyed warriors. After seeing Salem’s Hound, she promised herself that she would do whatever it takes to end any part of Salem’s tyranny, and as of late Ruby found several lackey groups that still practiced horrid experiments on silver eyed people.

“I could talk about it, but I am not sure where to begin, it is not a particularly easy thing to talk about. You remember four years ago in Atlas, the Hound that was after Oscar and Penny?”

Ruby could feel the atmosphere shift. Weiss raised her hand from Ruby’s shoulder to fix her hair bun. Nora’s shoulders slumped and her eyes darted to the ground. Ren let out a long audible sigh as he straightened in his seat.

Ren spoke first, “It, it is not something I like to think about,” remembering his own impudence, “but I will never forget it.”

“I was thankful that I did not have to see it in person,” Nora added rubbing her lightning bolt scar on her neck.

Ren folded his hands on his lap, “It’s never something I like to discuss either, if the students ever bring it up, I mean.”

Weiss nodded, “Ruby and I have been well…” Weiss looked to Ruby.

“We have been finding Salem’s old research facilities and finding silver eyed people being experimented on.” Ren and Nora collectively gasped. “Yeah, it is not something, well it is not an easy thing to talk about. The hardest part was finding out that Salem, even now that she is gone, still has her clutches across Remnant.”

Weiss rubbed Ruby’s back, “As a huntsman rehabilitations counselor, I focus on finding homes for the silver eyed people who have either been born into the lab, or who have lost family members…” Weiss trailed off looking at her scroll to check any messages.

Ruby picked where Weiss left off, “It is not an ideal situation, but through Weiss’ company we are finding homes that are taking children and teenagers and Oscar is letting adults live in some empty apartments in Vale.

Ren shook his head, “I hate that there are still veins of Salem’s reign throughout the kingdoms, but I am glad that there is you two that are liberating these people.”

Nora placed her hands on her thighs, an exasperated expression on her face, “I have a student with silver eyes, they’re so promising. I can’t imagine anything ever happening to them.”

Ren nodded in agreement, “Yes, they are a wonder, though I am not sure they know how to use their silver eye powers yet.”

Ruby nodded, “It might be best right now, for your student to not know, it will paint an even bigger target on their back.”

Weiss looked to Ren and Nora, of course they would be worried about their students, even though there was peace many dangers still lurked around the corners, still small threats of Salem’s powers.

“Nowadays, huntsmen and huntresses are returning home, all of the small lurking problems are ones for the younger generation now.” Weiss said giving a reassuring look to Ren and Nora.

“Remnant is safe, yes though there are Grimm still lurking about, thieves trying to steal maiden powers or relics, even bandit troops are still around. While these new huntsmen nowadays don’t have to worry about the fate of the world, they are just cleaning up our scraps.”

Nora stood and looked Ruby in the eye defiantly, “Ruby, that is why Ren and I decided to become professors at Beacon. People will always be willing to help those in need and we will be there to offer support, just like our professors and mentors did for us.”

Ruby sniffed and stood to give Nora a hug, “I will always count on you guys to do that for us, and if you ever need a guest talk about the silver eyed warriors or to teach your student how to use their eyes, I am here for you. All three of you.”

“You guys, I love the sentiment, but you should really save your tears for Blake and Yang’s child.” Weiss sighed.

The group laughed. “I am glad our parents were allowed to go into the room with them, but I am a bit jealous,” Ruby said and continued, “Dad is so excited to be a grandpa and I know Kali and Ghira have been waiting for this moment too. I don’t think I have been this excited for something in a long time.”

“I couldn’t wait to meet the little cub since the baby shower, I think I bought too many gifts.” Weiss sighed leaning on her knees.

“I am surprised you still have money after that spree,” Nora said sitting back down next to Ren.

Ren laughed, “I splurged a bit too much as well, almost my whole paycheck.”

“Mrs. Xiao Long-Belladonna! Do not run in the halls!”

The group stood up when Yang burst into the waiting room.

“Yang! Is everything alright?!” Ruby and the rest stood quickly.

Yang ripped the hair cap from her head and pulled her surgical mask down, beaming from ear to ear.

“Guys! You’re allowed to come into our room, there is someone I’d like you to meet!”

…

The gang followed Yang quickly down the hallway to the room. Jaune was waiting outside for them.

“Everything alright still?” Yang asked him, leaning an arm on his shoulder.

Jaune looked to everyone, his eyes heavy, “Yeah, they are resting comfortably. Though, that kid is a fighter, I used up all of my aura.”

Nora stood by her teammate to rub his back.

“We really appreciate it, Jaune. Now guys, please come in.”

The group of seven walked in slowly passing by Taiyang who was standing in the corner of the room, weeping softly. Ruby placed a hand on her father’s back.

“Alright, Dad?” Ruby whispered. Taiyang nodded and ruffled Ruby’s hair. Yang passed by to sit beside her wife. Blake reached up and kissed Yang sleepily. Blake held a bundled blanket closer to her chest and smiled happily to the rest of the gang.

“Well don’t just stand around like that you guys! No need to be nervous!” Kali said grabbing Ruby by the arm leading her to stand by Yang.

Blake and Yang laughed as the group nervously huddled around Blake’s bed. Yang gently touched the bundle which in turn made a soft gurgling sound.

“Hehe, our little guy just ate, he and Mommy are super sleepy now, huh?”

Weiss raised her eyebrows and stared at Yang, “A boy?”

Nora and Ren bumped fists, “We knew it!” Nora cried.

The baby moaned a bit at the sudden loud noise and Blake and Yang were quick to reassure their newborn son. Ruby and Weiss shot Nora a look and Ren rolled his eyes.

Blake laughed after the baby calmed down.

“Sorry, Blake. I know you’ve had a hard day.”

Blake laughed again and looked at Yang, “Nora, this was one of the happiest days of my life. He was a sucker to push out, but I would do it all again to share this moment with the person I love the most and my most prized possession, our son.”

Ruby smiled and moved closer to Yang, “So, are you going to introduce us then?”

Weiss grabbed Ruby’s arm, Ruby leaned in closer to Yang, and Ren, Nora, and Jaune linked together.

Blake unwrapped the small bundle a bit where two little, folded blonde cat ears stood up.

Weiss teared up, “He’s beautiful, Yang, Blake”

Yang smiled and kissed the small head, “Well, I mean he came from the most beautiful woman on Remnant, of course he’s beautiful.”

Blake and nearly everyone in the room rolled their eyes.

“Yang, please. I love you, but please.” Blake pleaded, “Even the baby hated your joke.”

Yang chuckled, “No, he didn’t. Look at the perfect little kitten.” She said taking the small baby’s hand.

“So,” Ruby pleaded her eyes beginning to water, “What is his name?”

Blake and Yang looked at each other then to their son.

“Everyone, I’d like you to meet Dusk Yin Xiao Long Belladonna”

[reciproburstbaby]

Parent Trapped

Pairing:  Tenya Iida x reader

Genre: Angst. Fluff

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2079

Simply put you hadn’t expected to Run into Tenya’s mother, not at all. She seemed to be in a rush but when she saw you a grin settled across her features and she made a point of stopping to talk to you. “Y/N dear, how have you been?” 

It was strange considering the way that you and Tenya had broken up. It had happened in a huge fight after you had set up an anniversary dinner. He’d promised that he’d be there and he was but he was on his phone the entire time with the people at his hero agency. Finally, you had slammed your hands on the table and yelled at him that if you weren’t important enough to him that he couldn’t put his phone down for a few hours then you were done. You had even thrown the engagement ring he’d given you a month before at him. That was a year ago. 

“I’ve been fine, missing home couldn’t afford to go home for the holidays this year.” You say with a smile as if you hadn’t been thinking about how her son had hurt you. 

“Oh my, do you have anyone to spend the holidays with dear?” She asked you and you shook your head. 

“No, it’s just me this year.” You say 

“Oh, then why don’t you come to stay with us this year. I’m certain that Tenya would love to see you again!” She said to you and after thinking for a few minutes you nodded

“Why not it beats being alone..” You say

That is what got you in this predicament, with him staring at you. Obviously, he had not been expecting to see you and you felt rooted to the spot. “I uh I think that I should just go this obviously isn’t what your mother said.” You shook your head. 

“Y/N I insist that you come in, it is freezing and you are not driving in the snow.” He said and you glared at him 

“Now you act as though you care about me?” A laugh that didn’t sound all that cheery came from you. “Fine, I’ll come in but just leave me alone.” You mutter

“Let me show you where you can put your things and sleep for the night, Y/N.” He looked hurt but you didn’t notice because you were being huffy with him. “Don’t you think I regret what I did at that dinner?” He asked you and once again you ignored him as he leads you towards the room that the two of you had shared when you last stayed with him. You sighed softly thinking of what had happened in that room and you shook your head. 

He opened the door for you and then you walked in and shut it. Tears came to your eyes because no matter how mad at him you were, no matter how badly you were hurt you knew that he was hurting too. You had seen it in his eyes when he opened the door. You missed him and it took every ounce of will power for you not to throw open the door and kiss him. 

A little while later you opened the door and walked into the living room, and there he was sitting on the couch reading what looked like a textbook. He always did like reading anything and everything. “Iida?” You said and he flinched at the use of his last name coming out of your mouth. 

“Yes, Y/N?” He asked you and you gulped a little before speaking. 

“Are you hungry? I can make something to eat. Also, where are your parents? I thought that they were going to be here?” You said

He sighed a little and nodded, “I am hungry but you don’t have to cook Y/N. They informed me shortly after you arrived that they would be staying with Tensei.” He said and you nodded, looking confused. 

“Oh, I see. I want to cook just tell me what you want to eat.” You say, your voice was less abrasive then it had been when you had arrived. 

“I’ve missed your Beef Stew….” He trailed off and you nodded you used to make him that a lot because it was his favorite but you hadn’t made it since you threw the ring in his face. 

“Beef Stew it is.” You said as you headed to where you knew the kitchen was, he stayed put on the couch until he heard swearing coming from the kitchen.

“Dumb burner. Ouch!” You yelled but felt a gentle hand grab your wrist and look at the burn. 

“Y/N what did you do put your hand on it?” He said as he led you out of the kitchen and to the bathroom where he instructed you to sit down. You hissed as he began to clean the burn and dress it. It was like he wanted to take care of you again. You had always been a little clumsy and he was always there to patch you up. 

You sniffled a little and looked away from him. Why was it so hard to be away from him? It was like you weren’t complete when you were away from him. It had been the hardest year of your life. But you had your reasons for breaking up with him too. For example, there was a phone call at the dinner table on your anniversary. Then there was the time that he missed a date because he was with Midoriya and the others. 

It was like he never had any time for just the two of you. Why was it that now that you were alone with him that all the feelings you had before were surging back? Could it be that you were still in love with him? Maybe you missed the way that he would hold you at night and how warm it was. Tenya’s voice broke you from your thoughts and you looked at him. 

“Y/N why are you crying did I wrap this too tightly?” He asked you and you shook your head. 

“No it’s fine Tenya, the stew is on the stove. I need to go check it.” You said as you hopped up and maneuvered around him. He stayed there for a moment and watched you hurry off. Was it possible that you too were feeling as he was? 

He missed you and that was for certain. He missed the way you would smile at him after a long day at work and the way that you would greet him with a hug and a kiss. He wanted that kiss again, he wanted to hold you in his arms and make sure you knew that he loved you. He knew that he had messed up with the phone call and he was sure that there were other things that he had done to make you upset with him. 

From his pocket, he pulled out the silver ring with heart-shaped diamonds that he had given you when he had proposed. He kept it with him at all times because he felt closer to you. It reminded him that even though he had hurt you that you had loved him at some point and that there was hope that you would love him again. Right then he had seen that you were fighting an inner battle, one that he couldn’t help with. 

He finally got up and made his way towards the kitchen, he saw you stirring the stew and standing on your tiptoes so you could see inside. That’s what must have happened when you burnt your hand. He nodded to himself and pulled over a stool. 

“Here Y/N so that you don’t get burnt again?” He said softly and you jumped a little dropping the spoon on the counter. 

“Thanks. I didn’t hear you come in.” You said as you climbed onto the stool that he had set out for you. “W-Why don’t you go uh set the table, it’s almost done.” You said as you stirred the stew once more. 

He nodded and grabbed two bowls and a couple of spoons and headed out to set the table. Dinner was quiet and neither of you said much but that was because both of you were trying to come up with words. 

To say that the first night there had been awkward was an understatement to how you felt when you looked out your window and saw snowdrifts that were taller than you. Looks like you were stuck here until the snow melted. You sighed softly and got out of bed inhaling the scent of bacon that had wafted up the stairs. 

Groggily you made your way downstairs and rubbed your eyes. “Tenya, how bad are the snowdrifts?” You yawned as you looked up at him. 

“They are blocking the doors so, for now, I guess we’re stuck in here.” He said as he flipped a piece of bacon. 

You nodded and looked down at what you were wearing just a set of shorts and a tank top. “Thanks for breakfast.” You say as you watched him making bacon. In the year you had been apart something had changed in Tenya. You could tell by the way he had taken care of you last night and the way he spoke to you. Had you hurt him that badly? 

Swallowing your pride you looked up at him and mumbled out, “Tenya, I’m I’m sorry.” 

He turned to look at you as he took the last piece of bacon out of the pan, “Sorry?” He said and then it registered, you were sorry for what happened at the restaurant. He looked at you and said nothing instead he wrapped his arms around you. At first, you were taken aback and you hesitated in putting your arms around him but when you did you burst into tears. 

“I acted like a spoiled little brat Tenya. I shouldn’t have thrown the ring at you. I’m sorry, it was just I wanted your attention. We didn’t have much time when we were dating and I--” He cut you off as you were speaking and place a finger on your lips. 

“No Y/N I was in the wrong, I should have let the phone ring. I shouldn’t have answered it.” He said and you looked up at him and he wiped your tears away. “Don’t cry anymore, Y/N. I’m sorry.” He said. 

There it was again that temptation to kiss him, maybe deep down you wanted things to go back to normal. That would be the best thing you could hope for but it couldn’t go back to you two being engaged could it? Again his voice pulled you from your thoughts. 

“Y/N I missed you more than you could know. Everyday I beat myself up over what I did and I thought that I could never make up for it. I want to try to make up for it Y/N I truly do.” He said as he placed his hand on your cheek. 

It was like magnets, the way that you two were pulled together, and when your lips touched you felt whole again. It felt like nothing could pull you apart. When you did break for air he rested his forehead on your and his blue eyes stared int you (e/c) ones. 

You smiled at him and he melted into your embrace his head resting on your shoulder and his arms around your waist. He pulled away gently after some time and pulled out the ring that you had thrown at him and looked at you. “Will you wear this again? I know that we can’t go right back to being engaged but will you wear it as a promise. A promise that I will never make you feel unwanted again.” He said and you once again burst into tears. 

“Yes, I’ll wear it again. I’ve actually missed it on my finger.” You said softly and stared at the ring. A ring that you thought for sure that he would have gotten rid of. You smiled at him and gently hugged him again. “I’ll wear it forever.” 

He pulled you into a hug, maybe being parent trapped wasn’t the worst thing that could happen but the best. You were glad that you ran into his mother or this would have never even happened. 

[lyasmin-blog1]

Be a Rainbow

“You’ll never find a rainbow if you’re looking down.” - Charles Chaplin

Hey there!! - before i go any further I would like to warn you all that this post will be discussing topics that may be sensitive to others! But this needs to be addressed and bring awarness to because I feel this is so over looked by most people and when it is discussed it is discussed so vaguely so the message doesn’t really get through.

Today June 16th is such an important day to me! It is a day of celebration, a day of strength and positivity. - before I continue, let me give a quick backstory - I suffer from severe / extreme anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Along with that, I also deal with chornic migraines, and vertigo. These are all illnesses that are invisible. You would never know I was dealing with this unless I actually told you, and even then I don’t even know if you would believe me because its not like I actually look sick. My depression is such a rollercoaster. Some days are great and wonderful and some or anything but that. I was doing well for a little while, and was able to maintain my depression and I felt as though I was getting better. Up until one month ago, that all changed instantly. 

One month ago today, my car was repossessed. That was one of the worst feelings ever. I felt like a complete failure. Irresponsible, high maitenence spoiled brat. I did not know you could get lower than rock bottom until that very day. When I found out my car was taken from me, that pushed me over the edge. I spiraled down so quickly into a dark very dark depression. Its crazy how fast depression can change. This also triggered an extremely bad anxiety/panic attack. My chest was so tight I could barely breathe, my face was changing colors, I couldn’t for the life of me stop crying not even for 30 seconds. At one point I even passed out because I couldn’t breathe. That was when the darkness really took over me and in that moment, I felt there was only one thing I could do to change it all and make it all go away. I needed to die. I felt that if I killed myself, all these problems would just go away and I wouldn’t have to deal with it.

So, I took a kitchen knife, grabbed my bottle of zolaft pills, and sat on my bed. I called my fiancee but she was at work and at the time was not by her phone. I called and called, left a voicemail. She eventually got back to me when she was able to, and I told her everything that happened and I told her I was having a bad attack and that she needed to get home ASAP. She complied and was able to leave work. After calling her, I then called my other friend and I told her I was going to do it. I was going to kill myself. She kept saying no I wasn’t, and was trying everything that she could do to distract me from that. I ended up hanging up on her and she kept calling me back but I kept ignoring her calls or I would pick up and hang up on her.

I couldn’t take this pain any longer and I just wanted to die. I slit my wrist pretty good, and laid down on the bed. I had my pills in my hand and was going to take them all at once but then my fiancee walked or I should say ran in through the door. She ran into the bedroom saw what I had already done and was going to do and instantly grabbed everything from me.

She saved my life. Literally. If she had not come into the room at that moment, I would not be sitting here on my couch typing this all up. I would be buried under the ground and my lifeless body would be decaying away.

A few days after that, my mother found out what had happened and immediately hopped on a plane and came down here and surprised me. That was such an amazing surprise that truthfully I never thought I needed. About two days after she arrived, my oldest brother was knocking on my door and surprised me at 8AM. Believe me when I say that he was the last person I ever thought I would be seeing at my doorstep at 8AM. Their intentions were to make sure that I was alive. They wanted to be moral support for me. And well, I needed it. My brother could only stay for 2 days. My mother stood for 2 weeks. That was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. It helped bring me back to reality. It gave me that hope that I thought I had lost forever. It made me realize that I have a bigger support system than I could have ever imagined. It made me realize that I truly am not alone. When your depression gets so bad, it is so hard to see and or believe that you have a support system. Yes people will tell you they’ll be there if you need anything but its not like you really want to bother them with your problems or be a burden to them. And though you’ll be told that you are not those things, that won’t change the fact that you still think them. Their visits made me realize and figure out why suicide is NOT the answer.

One month ago today, I almost died. But I am alive, I am here still breathing. And it has been one whole month that I have not thought of suicide or any kind of self harm at all.

I share my story with you all because mental illness is something that isn’t talked about very much. And if it is, its spoken about so vaguely. I share my story because I want to help bring awareness to everyone, especially those who do not fully grasp how depression, anxiety, or other mental illnesses feel like. If you are reading this and you are depressed and have these same thoughts that I had a month ago, I am reaching out to YOU!!!! I know that it is so hard to see why suicide is not the answer but I beg you to try your hardest to see that it really is NOT THE ANSWER! And when you feel like you’ve tried your hardest try even HARDER than that! You may be blocked by some really dark demons, but I assure you beyond that there is a life that is better than the one you are experiencing in this moment right now. I’m not saying you won’t be depressed anymore because I am still depressed and I fight it every single day. But I can tell you that it is not as bad as it was one month ago!

Progress DOES NOT HAPPEN OVER NIGHT and that was and still is something I have to remind myself of every single day. 

IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY!!!!!!!!!

If you are depressed and are having those thoughts, I encourage you to take a moment and put in the Suicide Hotline into your phone (  1-800-273-8255 ) if you don’t want to talk to a person you can text them (  838255 ). Another thing I encourage you to do is to have 5 people as your emergency contacts. That way if one person does not answer, you have 4 more people to contact. I have the hotline saved in my phone and I have 5 people that are now on speed dial incase I ever feel like that again. I also encourage you to find ONE positive thing. Just one. Every single day has a positive thing in it even during those truly bad days. I ask that you think of just one positive thing. (That is how I have been getting through my days every day since last month) It can even be as simple as you opened your eyes today! 

For those who are reading this who KNOW of someone who is depressed, I HIGHLY ENCOURAGE YOU to reach out to them!!!!! I cannot express that enough!! REACH OUT TO THEM!!!! You have no idea how far just a simple Hi how are you text message can go!

If you feel like you don’t know if a person you know is depressed, reach out to them anyway! Most people will tend to completely distance themselves from everyone in their lives because they just feel trapped and alone and that is the only way they can handle it is if they are by themselves because they are trying to figure out a way to get out of this trapped feeling. At least, this was how I felt. Some people who are depressed really are not going to seek you out or seek out any help. I encourage you to SEEK THEM OUT PLEASE!!! You have no idea how much of a difference that can make in a person’s life! It can even SAVE THEM! By one simple hi how are you!

To those reading this who do not have any kind of mental illness and does not know what it feels like, I cannot stress it enough to you to please DO NOT JUDGE A PERSON IF THEY DO NOT VISIBLY LOOK SICK!! Mental illness is invisible. Most people did not know I was dealing with all of this and most people that I know are actually finding out through this very post because I try my hardest to hide it. I try to not let it control my life. That is one of the most difficult things I battle with on a daily basis but I still fight through it. I cannot tell you how nervous I get when I explain to people just some of the illnesses I deal with. I feel like they think I am making it up because I just don’t look visibly sick to them, when in fact I actually need to have a Service Dog with me because that is how severe my illnesses are. Unfortunately I cannot afford one, but I make due by volunteering my time to help train service dogs and that helps me A LOT!

If you’ve made it this far, I commend you for reading this novel! Thank you for taking the time to read this. It means so much to me!! I ask that you not pity me or sympathize for me. That is not what I am looking for and that is not the reason why I am posting this. I am not posting this to get attention. I actually ask that you PAY IT FORWARD and just reach out to someone! Especially that friend who you used to once be close with but now you don’t talk that much anymore....yeah reach out to them! Please! To be honest, I feel like God planned for me to go through all of this so that I can see how beautiful life really is. I know it is God that is telling me to reach out to the world and bring awareness to mental illness. I can’t save the world, and thats okay. But I can at least get in touch with as many people as I can to share my story to give them hope, strength, positivity and above all inspire.

This past month has completely changed my perspective on life. I am so glad I didn’t succeed that day because there is so much more to life that I have yet to experience!! Life is such a beautiful thing and I am so thankful and honored to be living a life here on this earth!

Thats all folks!!

[cornerverse]

The One Where Chloé Knows

Chloé finds out that Marinette is Ladybug, and ends up telling her more than she wanted to. Marinette offers a new idea: being nicer to people. ((One-sided Chlonette, eventual Chloix))

1, 2, 3, now on Ao3

            Chloé didn’t want to stay in the school. The Akuma was already inside, after all. The fight would be over soon enough for class to resume, but she didn’t feel like sticking around much. If the teachers complained, she’d tell her dad that she’d left because of the Akuma.  

               She made her way down the halls, listening for signs that the battle was heading her way, and eventually got outside. She made it down the stairs before Chat Noir was flung out a window, landing two feet to her left.

               “Oh come on,” she muttered.

               She heard something that sounded like ‘beware!’ before everything went dark.

              Well, it wasn’t completely dark. There was a purple glow that allowed her to see where she was.

               It was a box. Sure, it was made of evil magic and purple glowing, but it was a box all the same. It was small. She could probably lay down and have her head and feet brush the walls, and the ceiling was barely brushing her ponytail.

               The only good part was that Chat Noir was in the box with her. He got up, letting out a few swears as he hit his head on the ceiling.

               “So, are you going to use your Cataclysm and get us out or what?” Chloé asked.

               “Uh, maybe?” he answered.

               “What do you mean ‘maybe’?” she demanded.

               He gave the wall a good kick. Even with superhero strength, there was nothing more than a resounding thud.

               “I know your power can destroy anything,” she sighed. “Just get us out of here already!”

               “I already used Cataclysm on these once,” he said. “They Regenerate themselves, so we’d only have a second to jump out. Last time, I had Ladybug’s luck, so my bad luck won’t make it.”

               “So you’re not even going to try?” she asked.

               “If it doesn’t work,” he explained, “I run out of power, and you get to know who I am.”

               “If that happens, I’ll turn around,” she replied. “I won’t look at you or anything. And as soon as Ladybug fixes everything, you can run out as fast as you can so no one sees you.”

               He shuffled uneasily, his eyes darting to the side. He like he was that little four year old caught snagging an entire plate of Christmas cookies for her tea party. Trying to find a way out.

               What was wrong with him? Was the idea of possibly learning who he was so bad that he’d rather stay here in awkward silence, even though Ladybug might lose the fight without him? Did he really not trust her enough to-

               ‘Oh stars,” Chloé muttered. Her legs gave out, letting her slide down the wall. “Y-you don’t trust me. Why would you? I’m just the girl who terrorizes her classmates into monsters. Why would you trust the girl who is so ruthless to get what she wants, that she locks another girl in a bathroom over a freaking class picture! You probably think I’d blackmail you over your identity too!”

               “Chloé, I’m not-“ Chat tried to explain, putting his hand on her arm.

               “Save it Adrien!” she shouted. “I know what I’ve done! I know what I am. Stars, I probably am just as bad as Hawkmoth. I’m mean, I’m terrible. I’m a spoiled selfish brat who should’ve died because of so many akumas. Even the ones I wasn’t directly responsible for, I still helped along just by generally being a total ass. It probably would’ve been better if Marinette’s uncle turned me into soup.  Hell, I’m surprised no one’s actually murdered me yet, or at least pushed me down the stairs!

“And, oh stars, you hate me too. I thought as long as I kept you with me, it would be fine, but of course you’d want to be with everyone else and make friends after being freaking Rapunzel for sixteen years. Not that you’d want to stay around me anyway! Who would? I would have been fine with everyone hating me, I never had them with me in the first place, but I just-I don’t want to lose you too!”

               He was quiet. The hand on her arm stiffened. She looked up, wiping tears out of her eyes. Chat Noir’s  eyes were wide. He looked like he stopped breathing.

               “Y-you know?” Chat asked. She bit back a swear.

               “Nothing!” She said, mentally kicking herself. “I don’t know anything! I have no Idea what you’re talking about!”

               “You’re not good at lying,” he sighed.

               “You know as well as I do that I can lie if I had more than three seconds to prepare!” she said. “Why am I defending that?”

               She dropped her head back into her hands. Chat sat down across from her.

               “How long have you known I was Chat Noir?” he asked.

               “Pretty much the entire time,” she answered.

               “Seriously?!” he exclaimed.

               “Adrien, we’ve known each other since before we can remember,” she rolled her eyes. “You think that just because I can’t see your cheekbones I can’t tell who you are?”

               “That makes too much sense actually,” he said. “Thanks for not, you know, telling anyone.”

               “I couldn’t do that to you,” she said. “Besides, now that you know I know, I can tease you about the various gossip I hear about ‘Chat Noir’. Like, did you know that some people think you’re not actually a superhero, just a really enthusiastic furry!”

               “Oh stars no,” he groaned, face turning red.

               “Everyone agrees that you and Ladybug are both hot,” she chuckled. “However, everyone also agrees you have the better butt.”

               “Does ‘everyone’ include you?” he asked.

               “Yes, actually,” she stuck her tongue out at him. “I’m gay, not blind.”

               He stopped and stared at her. His head was tilted and the cat ears on his head were lopsided.

               “What?” she asked.

               “You don’t usually call yourself gay,” he said.

               “Yeah, well you only call yourself Bisexual if you know a pun for it,” she retorted.

               “I am a bit Bi-ased toward puns!” he chuckled.

               “How long have you been waiting to use that one?” she groaned.

               “A while,” he said. “In all seriousness though, you’ve never exactly been ‘comfortable’ with it.”

               “Yeah, well, things happen,” she said.

               “You told Marinette you liked her, didn’t you?” he asked.

               Chloé jumped and tried to sputter out excuses.

               “Chloé,” Chat Noir said. “If you can figure out I’m a superhero, I can figure out you have a crush on someone. Even if you try to hide it by being mean to her.”

               “Fine,” she sighed, “I told her.”

               “Why?” he asked.

               “I can’t tell you,” she said. “If it was about me, I would, but it’s Marinette’s secret to tell.”

               “But you talked to her,” he said. “And at the very least, she convinced you to try and be nicer.”

               “I did a great job of that,” she sighed. “Marinette’s disappointed in me. I might’ve made it worse with some of the class. I mean, Alix seemed to be okay, but Alya got mad. And that’s not even factoring in if they want to forgive me. How do you do it?”

               “Do what?” he asked.

               “Just-just be nice,” she said. “Trust them. Even though they could be using you or could turn against you because of one thing? Even though I’ve told you about friends who ‘liked me’ only because I had the coolest stuff and could buy the best gift. Even though you could do one thing wrong, and they write you off as terrible. Even-even though they could leave you without an explanation.”

               “Chloé, you can’t just assume the worst of them,” he said.

               “They assume the worst of me,” she said. “It’s not like I’ve done much to prove them wrong. But how can you just jump in and trust them? Care about them wholeheartedly? I can’t even bring myself to talk to Sabrina about things that really matter to me. How can you trust people you’ve just met?”

               “Honestly? I didn’t,” he said.

               She looked up at him, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

               “Nice but not naive,” Chat explained. “They were friendly, but I wasn’t going to throw myself into it completely. But then, well, things happened. Nino risked yelling at my father and getting Akumatized over my birthday party. Alya always asks about my day. Rose and Mylène are too sweet, and Kim and Max are too bluntly honest. And Mari, she was somehow the easiest to trust and the hardest to trust.”

               “Really?” Chloé asked.

               “Yeah,” he chuckled. “You remember my first day, how she yelled at me because she thought I was in on your gum prank? If I was the type of person she thought I was, she would’ve been so screwed. She’s a designer! As far as she knew, I could have had Father blacklist her over that. And since we���ve been friends, she’s never said a thing about Father’s work. Even when he was judging that hat contest, she didn’t even ask for my input.”

               “They’re nice people,” she said. “Just not to me.”

               “I think they try,” he said. “It’s just, you assume the worst of them to be safe, and they assume the worst of you to be safe. But all of you have been reaching out.”

               She scoffed at the idea. She didn’t reach out until finding out Marinette was Ladybug. And no one had come up and said ‘hey, let’s be friends’ besides Sabrina. And even then, she’s been holding Sabrina at an arms’ length.

               “I’m serious!” Chat said. “Look, who invited you to see Alix and Kim race?”

               “What?’ Chloé asked.

               “That was outside class,” he said. “Someone had to tell you about it.”

               “Alix did,” she answered.

               “And who invited you to see Max’s video game contest?” he asked.

               “Max did,” she said.

               “Who asked you to be part of Nino’s horror movie?”

               “Alya.”

               “Who tried asking you to deliver that letter to Prince Ali?”

               “Rose.”

               “Who asked you out for Valentine’s Day?”

               “Kim.”

               “And who held you hostage at my birthday party?” he asked, cracking a smile.

               “That doesn’t count!” she exclaimed.

               Despite the protest, she snorted with laughter remembering that. She gave a playful shove, and he toppled back before breaking out in his own fit of giggles.

               “My point was,” Chat said, trying to squash the last of his laughter. “They reached out. Well, technically Kim ‘confessed his undying love’ for you, which definitely means he doesn’t think you’re past saving. And you might deny it, but other than Rose’s letter and Kim’s confession, you reached back. You showed up to those things and tried to interact.”

               “Technically, I was kidnapped into your birthday party,” she corrected.

               “You and I both know you could have complained a lot more,” he said.

               “Fair enough,” she agreed. “Other than the whole ‘kidnapped and held hostage while all adults were sent into the stratosphere’ part, it was a good idea. Maybe I can talk to Nino about your next birthday. I’m sure Marinette would love to help too, and they’ll probably drag the rest of the class into it. Your father can’t disapprove if he doesn’t know about it!”

               “So you’re still going to try and be nice to them?” he asked.

               She stopped smiling again. She curled up more, bringing her knees closer to her chest.

               “I wasn’t lying when I said I have nothing to lose,” she said. “They already don’t like me.”

               “My suggestion? Don’t do it because you ‘have nothing to lose’,” he said. “Do it because of how great it’ll be once you have a large group of people who genuinely like you. You love having me and Sabrina. Imagine having that with everyone. And despite your past.. er… transgressions, you do deserve to have friends.

               “I know you’re scared,” he went on. “I know why you’re scared. No, I don’t get totally get why, but this past year has put some perspective on it. You don’t want to lose what you have, and if you have more people to care about, it’s more people to lose. But imagine having friends, real friendships like what we have. Yes, there’s always going to be a risk that something will happen and they’ll leave you for whatever reason, but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. I get that you don’t want to jump straight in, and you don’t have to give all of your heart 100% just yet, but you should still try.”

               “Do you think they’ll even forgive me?” she asked. “I’ve kinda been terrible for years.”

               “It’ll take a while,” he said. “But you’ve got me on your side. And Marinette seems to be on board too. And, well, okay, you know I’m Chat Noir so there’s no use in hiding Plagg from you.”

               “Plagg?” she asked.

               “Remember how most magical girls have little magic companions to give them their power?” he asked. “Plagg’s like that for me.”

               “Really?’ she said, the déjà vu really hitting her as she tried to act surprised.

               “Yeah,” he answered. “Although, most magical girl companions don’t eat smelly cheese.”

                “Of course you’d compare it to magical girls,” she said, ignoring that she had done the same yesterday. “Does that make you the Tuxedo Mask to Ladybug’s Sailor Moon?”

               “Actually,” he thought about it, “since I have the ‘magic companion’ as well, I think that makes me Sailor Venus. But if we do get more heroes, they’ll have their own magic companions, so it’s a bit more like Shugo Chara. Although, since we’re all kind of using the same magic, it’s kind of like Cardcaptor Sakura: Master of the Clow because-“

               “I think you make a great Sailor Venus,” she said, cutting off his rant. “And, I am sorry. For everything. Trying to keep you to myself, insulting your friends, letting you take the fall for the whole gum incident. And for being so clingy when it comes to the whole cover thing.”

               “You’re supposed to be helplessly in love with me,” he said. “I think you play it pretty well.”

               “I go a bit far sometimes,” she said. “I know you had to be uncomfortable a lot of the time.”

               “You do sometimes cross a line,” he said. “Like the whole kiss for Nino’s video thing. Even if it’s pretend, it’s weird to kiss someone who’s practically my sister.”

               “Honestly, I’m surprised people buy the ‘fake liking you’ thing,” she said. “Still, I’m sorry for doing all that. And everything else too.  That said, now that we’ve had a little talk, think you can risk getting us out of here?”

               “What? Oh! Sure!” he said.

               They stood up and prepared to leap out of the box as soon as Cataclysm hit. Chat’s ears stood, up straight, but the rest of him relaxed.

               “Actually, I don’t have to,” he said.

               The box melted away in red and pink sparkles. Chloé shielded her eyes from the sudden brightness. Obviously, Ladybug had beaten the Akuma.

               “How’d you know?” Chloé asked as soon as her eyes adjusted.

               “Super hearing!” Chat answered. “I could hear the fight still going on. That’s why I wasn’t worried about Ladybug getting zapped into a box. If she was, I would hear her and get us out, but you needed me a bit more at the time.”

               “I think all of Paris is a bit more important than me,” she said, “but thanks.”

               “I knew Ladybug could handle it,” he said. “She’s amazing like that.”

“So, your thing for Ladybug isn’t just being flirty?” she asked.

               “I wouldn’t flirt if I didn’t mean it,” he sighed. “I feel bad that I can’t put a real name to her, but whoever she really is, I love her.”

               “So, what are you going to do about your crush on Marinette?” she asked, smirking at him.

               “My what now?” he asked, red already creeping into his face.

               “Your crush on Marinette,” she said. “You’ve called her cute before, and we all heard how ‘Chat Noir’ flirted with her during Evilustrator. Weren’t you the one who just said ‘I wouldn’t flirt if I didn’t mean it’? Then you were a mess trying to have her autograph that Jagged Stone album. And if you think I forgot how much you were on board with kissing her during Nino’s video-“

               “Oh!! Look at the time!” he said, looking at his watchless wrist. “I have to meet Ladybug to let her know I didn’t die in a box somewhere.  See you in class! And try to make friends!”

               “You sound like a my little pony episode!” she shouted as he ran off.

               She debated over going back inside. Adrien and Marinette expected her to, but a part of her didn’t want to face the class again.

               With a sigh, she walked back inside. She was the last to get to class. Even Marinette had gotten there before her. Thankfully, no teacher had shown up yet, probably having been dragged into another staff meeting over ‘how do we protect the kids against Akuma?’. She walked to the front of the class and got their attention.

               “Okay, I’d like to try again,” Chloé said. “I know I probably already screwed it up, but please let me have this.”

               She paused, waiting for someone to object. No one said anything, but both Adrien and Marinette gave encouraging smiles. She even saw Tikki poking out of Marinette’s purse, nodding for her to go on.

               “I get it,” Chloé said. “I’ve been really terrible to all of you, and I’m sorry for that. While I have my reasons why I did that, they’re personal issues that don’t excuse what I did. I didn’t have to be mean, I could’ve just ignored you all. And it took a lot to make me see that, including a good conversation with a few friends, almost losing my best friend because of how I’ve been, and seeing what he has with you guys in his life.”

               She felt something touching her fingertips. Adrien had leaned over his desk to grab her hand. He gave a light squeeze before allowing her to continue.

               “But I don’t want to be mean to you guys anymore,” she said. “I-I’m sorry for how I’ve been, what I’ve been. And I don’t want to just ignore you either. I’d like to try and, well, at least get on good terms. I’m not expecting us to just, just magically be bffs and stuff. But I’m going to try. And I might try ‘wrong’, like offering to buy things instead of actually apologizing.

               “I guess I was kind of trying to buy your forgiveness with that,” she went on, “but gifts can still be a good apology, so if I bring in a group apology pastry basket tomorrow, well, I’m trying. And I know I’ll probably screw up a bit too. I’ve been doing the same thing for a while, so I might say something without thinking. Just, please be patient with me, even though I know I don’t deserve it. I want to try and fix this, if it’s not already too late. ”

               Chloé went and sat back in her seat. Sabrina had already begun working on her classwork. She looked over at Adrien and Marinette. Both of them were nodding in improvement. She couldn’t see Tikki anymore, but a small black thing was poking its head out of Adrien’s shirt. It winked at her before disappearing.

               She jumped feeling a hand on her right shoulder. Looking back, she saw Alix grinning at her.

               “Hey, you got me on board!” Alix said.

               “You are trying” Alya spoke up, “I’ll give you a chance.”

               Pretty much everyone spoke up. Of course there were varying degrees of enthusiasm, but they agreed to help. They’d also try to keep her on track.

               It was a lot more than Chloé expected. A lot more than she deserved. Still, she couldn’t help but smile.

[lucyninjawife]

Marriage and Mental Health and Other Illnesses

I like to equate my mental change about 10yrs ago, that’s the youngest of daughters I have who affectionately kicked over all the furniture of my mind. It started off as what I thought was PPD (postpartum depression). That word stood out to me for some reason when I was pregnant with Gianna. It’s weird but I always keep freak things like this in the back of my mind.

I’ll spare you all the details of all the hopelessness and sadness I experienced, but it was really bad. I knew early on it was a condition called Hypothyroidism, but I didn’t have insurance anymore, and the free clinic doctors said that they thought I was just depressed. Depressed, yes, but there was more evidence that it was more, like weight gain, the inability to lose weight, depression, insomnia, mood swings, unexplained anger…. and so on.

I went a few more years white knuckling my symptoms. Putting on a happy face when I didn’t feel like it. I didn’t want to do anything, laughing was a chore, and not to mention having smaller kids that needed my attention.

It took me official 7 yrs to get a semi/half-hearted diagnosis of Hypo. And just last year did I receive the diagnosis of having PCOS( polycystic ovarian syndrome), that is another fun diagnosis that just made things more pronounced. The rule is, when you have one autoimmune disease you almost are laying out the welcome mat for the next one. I have learned that in this last year that most people have two.

Both PCOS and Hypothyroidism mirror the same symptoms such as depression, weight gain, mood swings, bu PCOS makes you insulin resistant, which makes loosing weight almost impossible, more at risk for type 2 diabetes, etc. And all this weighs heavy on the mind.

Not one can speak against a woman who is trying to hold on to hr emotions while nurturing small kids. I closed my daycare biz down a year after Gianna was born, because mentally, I could not keep it together. Frankly, I knew something was real wrong when I was pregnant. I used to go in the kitchen, sit on the floor and sob. I would sob because I was sad. I was sob because I didn’t know why I was sad. And I’ve always been a pretty light person, but this was different.

The Hubs had decided sometime before she came along, that he wanted to go back to school, and he was still finishing up thru it all. Those were also some of the hardest days of my life. A non traditional student, with a full time job and being the sole breadwinner since his wife was incapable.

We are in a world that sees permanent as not that permanate at all. Especially when it comes to vows. Marriage vows are about as serious now as hair color. One day you want this and the next day you aren’t committed to it anymore.

I recently encountered a husband who was looking for an out from his marriage. He talked about having his 3 small kids under 5yrs old, and how his wife seems to be a bit ditzy. He went on to state that his wife is no good with money, manages to keep the kids alive but he felt she had a drinking problem. All symptoms pointing to some type of postpartum something and maybe ADHD and bipolar. I do have a background in psychology, I’m not a doctor but I am equally obsessed with the mind. The Hubs is a Social Worker/Therapist and he’s a stickler for people to misdiagnose people, and I get it. But this husband was/is willing to throw his wife away with really KNOWING why she seems like a ditzy kid.

There was this ABC 20/20 story done some time ago about mothers who drank wine/liquor in their coffee cups because motherhood/parenthood is a LOT. Bringing up kids, for me is a multiple choice. You don’t want them to have the same emotional scars as you but you can’t let them get away with everything either. That alone can drive one, no me, to drink.

I am so grateful to the Hubs for sticking with me, and talking me off many metaphoric ledges about childhood traumas and my recent diagnosis, and teaching me about the triggers I didn’t know that I had.

What I have come to learn in the last decade is, people grow up…. their bodies grow up, but sometimes their minds are time warped. Most times subconsciously if not consciously. Sometimes as we grow as adults, our chemistry changes, which ultimately effects us mentally.

Though we still are fighting a uphill battle in making mental health treatment available to EVERYONE, we are more knowledgable for treatment than even my/our grandparents. I’m lucky that I have a doctor who somewhat lets me guide my care. That doesn’t always happen and I think doctors spoil like old milk. You have to be your own advocate.

If you have a spouse who is suffering from a mental illness here are some actionable tips.

Mental illness doesn’t always have to be the end of the world. Medicine is more advanced, but you have to be ALERT!

You want a doctor that is attentive. There is really no way to know until you have interacted with them a few times like, do they call in prescriptions on time or reply when you need a refill, do they listen to you and give you the respect of knowing your body.

Do your own research!! Sometimes Google can be helpful. Type in your symptoms and see what it says. Sometimes after it pulling up a diagnosis you can read more things about in articles and books.

Join Support groups. Now Facebook is great for this if nothing else. You can find a group that suits your needs, and ask questions, share your experiences, people are really supportive and it’s all hours of the day and night.

Take notes. Don’t come to the doctor empty handed and don’t leave empty handed. Ask questions that you’ve acquired before seeing them and don’t be afraid to contest it.

YOU KNOW YOUR BODY!!! Don’t let anyone tell you that “it’s all in your mind”. You live with you or your spouse, THEY DON”T. If they don’t seem to help solve your issues, FIRE THEM!!

To have a spouse with mental illness doesn’t mean that they should be abandoned. It means you just have to advocate for them in a different way. Have some patience, some optimism, some compassion, some love…. and it wouldn’t hurt to think about those vows “for sickness or in health”.

Another wife I have helped had married her husband who was already diagnosed with Schizophrenia. That diagnosis used to be morbid back in the day. But it wasn’t until I worked with her to “see” him when he went thru a tail spin.

He was “normal” while medicated…. a little laid back and not in any hurry of anything. But one day he felt like he was “healed”. The wife had turned her blind eye to him and his care, their communication was null and void. It had been about 6mo from his last shot. He soon spiraled into a manic stage and it caused a big rift in their life.

But I see a few things wrong with this.

Dealing with a spouse with mental illness starts with communication. A wife (and a husband) should know their husbands’ intimately. Know what makes them tick, his off days, the land mines, etc. And help aid him from going into those areas. It can get to a point where it is unreasonable and unbearable, but that is based on the beholder.

If you really know your husband, you will know what medicine and treatment that will help them stay balanced. There will be up and down days.

Life is like your favorite tv episodes. If it was perfect and without conflict, you’d never watch it. So it’s not the end of the world, just a little bit of a challenge.

[rajeshlaxkar]

Kumara Parvatha Trek, Coorg – Valuable tips

Snap Kumara Parvatha trek to know more. Through this blog, I am offering my experience to the Kumara Parvatha trek. Know a noteworthy number of you would have experienced significantly more prominent encounters and trails, yet this one is for some like me who continually need to try something like this, yet don't get the open entryway beforehand. Sharing the outing of this supposed excess and experiential travel blogger through brutal scenes, thick woods, and adversarial air in a straightforward trekking experience, close by some accommodating clues which I learned in transit. Desires will convince you to challenge yourself and assess new endeavors.

This is the means by which everything began

Anuja, my neighbor, an old Companion, and an eager trekker shared that she has sought after a trekking experience to somewhere called Kumara Parvatha. In any case, her companion dropped out end minute. An endeavor fan and nature darling inside me started aching for some outside air and new experience. Thusly, without knowing or thinking a great deal, I offered to join her. Being a development blogger makes you ricochet towards each open entryway that goes to your course.

The situation

A day subsequent to going along with, I got a message from Shabari, drawing nearer in case I paid for the trip? She shared her nerves (her significant other took a comparative way this week's end), Kumara Parvatha is likely the most difficult trek in Karnataka with around 27 kms of walking around 2 days. Additionally, the workplaces given were rudimentary. Would it be a good idea for me to look at it or skip, was the Gigantic issue? However, with some relief from my significant other and not wanting to give up this new experience, I decided to allow everything to out.

The first run through trekking experience

I would brag in case I state I was not scared or disturbed at this point somehow enthusiasm of something that I ached for quite a while overpowered each other feelings.We started early morning from Bangalore and came to Subramanyam town, which was 200 kms away by early evening. Post lunch, our guide gave over a climbing bed and tent, which we were to pass on till base camp (7 kms intense). Legitimately before the start of the timberland zone, we were prompted about the trek, and everyone introduced themselves. Finding that I am the only one with no past trekking involvement with somehow further fortified my affirmation to complete the trek.

Confronting the test

We started weaving our way through tangled roots sticking from the earth, molding a kind of staircase in the midst of thick woods, the sound of crickets, and peeping of fowls. The dampness, weight of the rucksack, and not being acclimatized to walking strong made it much extra testing. Wheezing continually, I could feel my lungs developing earnestly to get more oxygen. I expected to plug every now and then to find a good pace some breath, on occasion, clicking pictures as an explanation. Our guide was consistent and kept moving me throughout.It was basically Sunset, and I was the last one to reach nearby the guide, the remainder of the social event was out of the site. Simply the vision of coming to and cheering at the apex propped me up.

Appreciate little delights of Life.

That night we remained outside near to the boondocks check post. We made sense of how to set up a camp, how to ignore tidiness and eat up the most central dinner promoted. Experiencing a night in the wild inside somewhat tent wrapped by our climbing beds, enveloped by odd disturbances and fogginess despite the fact that everything capitalizing on our irregular talking, was a basic experience. Now and again, fundamental minutes leave such a suffering effect at the bleeding edge of your contemplations.

Furthermore, the battle proceeds

This was an upsetting day. We expected to climb 7 kms up to show up at the top and fall 14 kms down to the town. At 3.45 am, in the wake of leaving our outdoors beds and tents at the forest checkpoint, we started walking around the way. Bit of elbowroom this time was that we passed on a liter backpack with breakfast, water, and remedies, which made walking significantly less difficult. This time I followed Shabari's suggestion of not halting yet keep walking whether or not it's truly moderate-paced, and it had any kind of effect. Making our way through wet meadows and shakes in lack of definition, we kept strolling ahead. Not some time before the sunrise was a fanciful moment. The sky was shining in the shades of pink, purple, orange, and blue, strong breeze experiencing the grass, making it difficult to miss a sound. It looked like winding up in a lovely spot with fogs floating over the unlimited stretches of rich green glades. I felt a convincing drive to remaining there and start creating. In any case, we had the goal to achieve, so we kept moving. The remainder of the domain was steep and disproportionate. Be that as it may, the cold and shady atmosphere helped us.

The last mile is the hardest one

Normally walking the past mile before showing up at your last goal is the hardest one. This was no exception; It was foggy and blustery all through, yet the moment we came to Sheesh Parvatha (the primary zenith), it started descending seriously. The following stretch was through thick storm timberland stacked with leeches. In any case, this was a beautiful spot for watching nature, the sound of water gushing through the short streams, mist incorporating the thick woods, distinctive living things becoming even from dead and spoiled. There were such colossal quantities of varieties of mushrooms creating on spoiled leaves and woods. The charming experience I should state! Look at the enamoring pictures from the journey here. Photograph Stroll through Kumara Parvatha Trek By then, there came gigantic shakes with water gushing through them, we were to climb tight through the stream as the last stretch. The deluge and the greenery made everything essentially progressively slippery and unsafe. We crawled our way through stones of rocks.

Aha Minute: Arriving at the top

By somehow fighting our tiredness and beating the storm, we finally made it to the apex. A preview of easing and enjoyment when you surprisingly start feeling weightless and simplicity of making it to the top. Despite the fact that it was descending so hard that we couldn't see anything from the apex, yet like someone said everything with respect to the journey and not the objective.