#i am exhausted and hungover. hello

[angie-long-legs]

//served mothman realness at the party

[miley1442111]

i wanna kiss you on the mouth -s.reid

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a/n: i am back from the dead! hello, i was gone for the past few days because school and work is hectic but rest assured i am back :)

summary: both of you are completely unaware of your feelings, but you speak too loudly and your feelings are confessed.

pairing: spencer reid x bau! fem! reader

warnings: none

----------------------------

Spencer had only been thinking of you every day for the past 4 months. From the moment he woke up, to the second his head hit the pillow. You were on his mind. 

It’s weird he tried to convince himself. You were his childhood best friend, who’d just moved to Washington. You were a year older but just as intelligent, if not more, and you were conversational and interesting. You had people skills that he could only dream of, and a smile he could only dream of. Which he did. Dreamt of you a lot. Usually you were his girlfriend, or occasionally his wife. Sometimes you were clothed... others he wasn't exactly proud of. But it wasn't him technically, it was his subconscious. Right?

----------------------------

“We have a new case,” Penelope grimaced as you rolled your eyes, clearly hungover from the night prior. 

“Bad date?” Derek mused and Spencer’s muscles tensed. 

“I don’t even remember Derek, all I know is that I woke up in someone else’s bed,” you chuckled. 

“Cheating on me?” He mocked. 

“Always,” you smirked, lowering the sunglasses on your eyes to give him a wink, one which made him laugh. 

Spencer’s chest tightened. You were going out. You had casual sex. That was fine, you’re an adult. He shouldn’t be bothered. You two hadn’t spoken in years before you joined the BAU 4 months ago. 

“Pretty boy?” Derek repeated. “Are you alright? You’re not listening.”

“S-sorry! Just… thinking…” he trailed off as the conversation flowed again, ideas and questions filled the room as they continued the briefing. 

----------------------------

The jet was not much easier. You were smirking at your phone as the others napped or looked over the case file. 

“Who’s that?” Emily smirked, looking over your shoulder. 

“My maybe-boyfriend,” you smiled back as her face lit up. Spencer’s heart dropped. You barely look in his direction most days. You don’t talk to him. You clearly don’t care about him. Yet here he is, upset over the fact that you might have a boyfriend. “Kidding, my apartment complex’s group chat is going off right now because someone is playing music really loudly. My neighbour is threatening to kill the old woman in 35 with a kitchen knife,” you chuckled as Emily deflated, but read the messages aloud, which made the entire jet laugh. Spencer smiled along, an ease in the weight on his chest. 

----------------------------

You were exhausted. You hated this. You hated being so close to Spencer and not feeling able to talk to him. You hated how much you wanted him, needed him. You hated how little attention he paid to you. You didn't like going on first dates, much less sleeping with the asshole that was 'Josh' but he had a similar vibe to Spencer and you'd needed a release.

“Fuck,” you yawned, allowing your eyes to drop for a few seconds before Derek hit the back of your head to wake up. You groaned in response as he laughed. “Fuck you.”

“Come do it yourself,” he smirked and you rolled your eyes. “Anyways, how is it going?”

“I’ve narrowed down the geological profile from Spencer’s initial one-”

“I mean ‘Project Reid’!” He gossiped. “Have you even talked to him yet?”

“Derek,” you grumbled, resting your head against your hands. “He doesn’t want to talk to me, he doesn’t even fucking like me!” 

Derek internally rolled his eyes, irritation bubbling at the both of you. How could two of the most gifted profilers he knew not realise the goo-goo eyes they were sending each other while the other wasn’t looking?

“He likes you plenty,” he sighed. “Ask him out! Talk to him.”

“He does not like me!” You squealed. “Spencer Walter Reid does not like me, in a friendly way or a I-want-to-kiss-you-on-the-mouth way! Stop pushing something that will not happen, despite how much I want it to!”

----------------------------

As Spencer approached the conference room, his weary eyes tired as they focused on your figure. You looked beautiful. Spencer always thought you looked beautiful.

“He does not like me!” You squealed. “Spencer Walter Reid does not like me, in a friendly way or a I-want-to-kiss-you-on-the-mouth way! Stop pushing something that will not happen, despite how much I want it to!”

What.

You liked Spencer? You wanted to kiss Spencer. You just amditted to liking him.

“What?” Spencer’s voice from behind you startled you as Derek laughed. “Y-you want that?”

----------------------------

“What?” Spencer’s voice from behind you startled you as Derek laughed. “Y-you want that?”

You stared in Derek’s direction, willing for him to leave. Thankfully, he got the message immediately and left swiftly. Leaving you and Spencer alone together. Maybe he should’ve stayed. 

“Umm… yeah. I’ve like you since we were kids, but y’know… life got in the way-”

You were shocked. Spencer Reid, shy Spencer Walter Reid had just cut off your sentence with a kiss. 

What was going on? 

His lips were soft (he used lip balm often, clearly), his hands rested tentatively on you waist. But the kiss. If you could describe kissing Spencer Reid in one word, it would be hungry. He kissed you with as much passion as you would assume someone to give to their partner on their wedding day. He was blanking your mind with this insanely mind-blowing kiss.

“I really like you too,” he smiled. “I an I-wanna-kiss-you-on-the-mouth kinda way. Like I really want to do that again,” he smiled again and you couldn’t help but kiss him. His hands landed on your waist, more comfortable than before as your arms circled his neck. 

Maybe all his overthinking about you was too much. Maybe it was just that simple. 

You liked each other.

In an I-wanna-kiss-you-on-the-mouth kinda way. 

----------------------------

criminal minds masterlist :)

navigation for my blog :) (CRIMINAL MINDS, marvel, top gun, the bear, the hunger games, challengers, obx+)

[exhuastedpigeon]

Hello Han,

I hope you are well.

You said something pretty insightful about fandom drama that I think about often and I think needs to be brought up again.

There are people who like the start drama, they like participating in those activities online and they’re going to keep perpetuating it.

Remembering that has shown that some people are just going keep stirring up the pot anyway no matter what I (or anyone else does). Some people enjoy that part of fandom and by removing ourselves from that toxic environment. Not feeling into it and doing our own thing can help everyone be better off.

It was just shocking for me to realize some people participate in that stuff because they want to and will continue choosing to do so and I think acknowledging this can help us remove ourselves from these sorts of situations.

I’m gonna be honest with you anon I am currently like 30000 feet in the air, hungover, exhausted, and somehow extremely happy because I just to spend the weekend celebrating my cousins wedding with family that I haven’t seen since last Christmas.

I haven’t really scrolled tumblr since Friday on my way to the wedding. I don’t know what the current drama is and frankly, I don’t think I need to know.

I stand by what I’ve said - in every fandom, just like in life, there are people who thrive on drama and on being the center of attention. As a general rule, I try to avoid those kinds of people because for me fandom is a hobby. I write fic for fun, I’m on tumblr for fun.

In my experience the best way to deal with people who are starting drama for the sake of drama or so they can feel big and important is to ignore them. Don’t post hate anons, don’t reblog posts just to dunk on someone, don’t engage. If you don’t engage with them like 80% of the time they get madder and then eventually go away because they aren’t getting the reaction and attention then wanted.

Block them and move on.

Idk if I actually said anything of value here, again I am very hungover and going on about 7 hours of sleep in the last 2 days.

[eadanga]

The Graduate Part 7

Summary: A year after graduating Chris and Laura begin planning their wedding what new challenges await them as the wedding draws near?

Laura exits out the car and waves to her friends “Thank girls for the amazing night” She shuts the door as they drive away and heads inside “Woo what a night”

Chris steps out from the bedroom he smiles when he sees her “Hey there you” He kisses her cheek “Have a good time?”

“Yes I did” Laura takes off her heels “Right now I’m exhausted”

Chris grins “I know the best thing for exhaustion” He lifts her up in his arms

Laura giggles “Chris what are you doing?” He carries her to the bedroom and sets her on the bed gently he heads to the drawers tossing her pajamas “Change into this I’ll be right back” He heads out the door then pokes his head back in grinning “Don’t move from there”

Laura smiles as she changes into her pajamas then lays on the bed. As she scrolls through her phone the smell of chocolate begins to fill the room What is Chris up to?

Chris returns with two mugs of hot chocolate he hands one to her “For you madam”

Laura smiles as she takes it and sips “Mmmm this is good Chris”

“I’m glad you love it it’s my mom’s recipe has some spices in there so you’re not hungover tomorrow”

“Thanks Chris you’re the best”

“So are you and you can unlock more fiancé features like massages and cuddling”

Laura sighs as she rests her head on his chest “I’ll take the cuddling”

Chris smiles as he wraps his arms around her “I agree” He kisses her forehead

“I’m sure you wanna know what happened with Nicole”

Chris sighs as he pinches the bridges of his nose “Please tell me she didn’t say anything that upset you if she got into your head I will hunt her down”

“No Chris she regretted what happened between you two I think her attempt to get back with you was her trying to make things right”

Chris rolled his eyes “Well a little late for that I have nothing to say to her in fact I don’t ever want her name coming up again” He pulls her closer “I hope you don’t talk to her again I don’t trust her and I don’t want her near you”

“Oh don’t worry Chris I won’t”

“Good she’s my past you’re my future”

“Forever and always”

Chris kisses her softly “I love you”

“I love you too” She yawns

Chris chuckles “Now rest your pretty little eyes babe”

Laura moves closer and Chris tightens his arms around her and they fall asleep in each other’s arms

****

Chris wakes up to the sound of Laura’s phone buzzing Who could be calling her this early in the morning? Chris grabs her phone then slips out the room without waking Laura up “Hello?”

“Ms. Day there was an incident at the dress shop and your dress…”

“Hold on what happened to my fiancé’s dress?”

“Oh are you Chris?”

“Yeah tell me what happened?”

There’s a sigh then she speaks “Well there was a fire we had a wiring problem and it sparked not all the dress is burned but”

Chris’s eyes go wide “Ok listen to me she can not find out about this she’ll be really devastated I’m gonna come down there and see”

“Ok I’ll see you”

Chris immediately gets dressed then grabs his keys and dashes out the door” He arrives at the dress shop he sees firefighters outside accessing the damage

One lady approaches him “Are you her fiancé?”

“Yeah I am can you show me what happened?”

The sales lady ushers him inside and shows him the burned dress on the hanger “If only the fire department got here sooner”

Chris runs his fingers through his hair as he paces “Oh my God this is gonna kill her”

“I know I can refund your money”

“Who cares about the money? Look at it” Chris points at he dress “She can’t wear that there’s nothing left of it”

“I’m so sorry”

“It’s not your fault” Chris sighs as he pulls out his phone “I gotta call in a favor”

Chris dials Becca and she answers on the third ring “Chris it’s so early what?”

“Becca tell me you know someone who can deliver a wedding dress quickly”

“What happened?”

“Well let’s say Laura’s dress is a little…crispy”

“What?! What’s the name of that place?! We’re gonna sue the hell out of it!”

“We can do that later right now we need solutions”

Becca pauses for a moment speaks in a way that Chris can almost hear her grin on the phone “I’ve got this she’s gonna love what I got planned”

Tags: @indiacater @choicesgodfanatic @the-soot-sprite @darley1101 @jared2612

[cfthesoul]

hello my loves! the concert was awesome, i am very hungover and just exhausted today. going to get to drafts in a little bit

[hxlda-hxlda]

Hi harper, how are you? how’s the weekend treating you? eat anything good lately? anything exciting in the upcoming week or something ur looking forward to? 🩷

ugh my absolute love hello!! the weekend has in fact treated me rather well. i'm exhausted, but good! i'll give you a little run down :)

it was my birthday recently and for the first time i decided i would have an actual birthday party, which was incredibly intimidating to me as someone who usually dislikes their birthday, but my worries were for naught and it turned out so well. lots of family and friends there. i felt so very loved. i probably (definitely) drank too much. it was a lot of fun. i'm only slightly hungover today which is another plus.

i haven't eaten anything particularly good of late, given i work so much and haven't had the time. but i did have many of my cousin's phenomenal homemade martinis last night. i consider it a win all the same.

also!!! kittens!!!

i found these two absolute darling strays under my building at work and we've been checking up on them the last few days but it seems their mum has left them, so now my family has taken them in. given i have a dog who is an attention whore it's looking like we'll foster them until we can give them to someone else (ideally a friend so i can see them), but in the meantime i have two/three week old kittens and god they're the cutest fucking things. we've named them benny and björn after abba, of course.

pictures, of course:

today we learned björn is actually a girl (the little tabby), but it's already stuck so she's keeping it, and benny is the ginger.

i've never really interacted with cats before, but i think i'm in love. i can just hear little mews throughout my day it brings me so much joy.

as for things i'm looking forward to: concerts! who is surprised? i (in a miracle) managed tickets to taylor swift and the week has come!! so i'm thrilled for that. i also have a tiny indie aussie artist the very next night so next weekend should be just as busy and enjoyable, i think.

(also if i can be slightly fan-person-y of you, i'm rather looking forward to when you start releasing your new wip, whenever that may be - no pressure and take all of the time you need but i am also excited!)

this was the loveliest of things to wake up to, a little check up. i appreciate it dearly and you can expect that i'm about to send you the same in your ask box. sending all of the love to you xx

[audioaujom]

(1) Patton's First Day

LTWF Hub, next >

Word Count: 1241

--

“Hey there, roomie! As much as I’d love to give you a cheerful good morning, your alarm has been going off for five straight minutes!”

Patton sat straight up, his eyes blown wide with the abrupt absence of sleep as he fumbled for his phone to turn off the blaring alarm. “Gah, sorry! Must be a deeper sleeper than I thought.”

“It’s no problem! Just figured I’d give you the wake up call while I’m on the way out.” Roman—his quite dramatic and very awake roommate—smiled at his reflection in the mirror on the back of the door, before glancing back over his shoulder at the bed. “In order to be a proper college student, you must either be exhausted or hungover at all times, anyway.”

“Thanks!” Patton managed as he forced himself to smile bright despite the exhaustion, before taking a breath to calm himself and flop back onto his pillow. Staring at the ceiling, he began waiting for his heart rate to go back down from the shocking wake up and mumbling, “…morning to you too.”

“All good, compadre! I’d tell you how long you have ‘til your first class but the truth is I have no idea what your schedule is.” Roman ran a hand back through his light brown hair to push the fringes out of his face, grabbing a letterman jacket from his closet and slipping it on over his red t-shirt. “I know you told me, but I wasn’t listening in the slightest. Anyway, I’m off to class and after I’m meeting some friends for lunch, so I’ll be back late. Hope you have a good day!”

When did he have time to meet people? We’ve only been here for like a week!

Patton lifted his head up enough to watch Roman leave, the room falling silent except for the hum of the air conditioner and the distant traffic from the nearby busy city street. He blinked, before rolling his eyes and sighing in relief.

He’s a nice guy, I’m sure, but man is he a lot.

Patton rolled over to check his phone, seeing the time as 10:51. 

My first class isn’t until 12, but I should find lunch before then. …which means I’ve got a few extra minutes to spend in bed.

Dozing lightly in bed until the snoozed alarm went off less than ten minutes later, Patton slowly rolled out of bed and stretched as he stood up. Hunting through his closet while stifling a yawn, Patton stopped for a moment to sleepily look over his reflection.

Bright, sky blue eyes tiredly traced the outline of his messy bush of auburn hair from behind the round rims of his glasses, a worn t-shirt hanging awkwardly off one of his shoulders and sagging over his shorts as he turned to instead look over the contents of his closet for something to wear.

One lightweight flannel-patterned jacket and a pair of washed out jeans later had Patton jogging across campus a little wildly, his backpack banging against him as he all but skidded through the second set of front doors that he hoped would actually lead into Thaw Hall.

102… 102…  Patton repeated in his head as he scanned the numbers on the wall by the classroom doors, hurrying his steps and taking the next set of stairs two at a time. Almost running late, he finally spotted 102 around the top corner of the second flight of stairs, cautiously stepping in through the open door to look around for an empty seat.

“Hello. Are you here for Stars, Galaxies, and Cosmos class designation 1060-10462?”

“Oh my good gracious stars!” Patton nearly jumped out of his skin, wide eyes turning to the level voice that spoke from beside him. “Yes, I— I am. Sorry, I just… I didn’t notice you there, friendo!”

Beside Patton’s flustered form in the doorway stood a boy who appeared to be about the same age, confused hazel eyes blinking slowly as if taking in his response. A pair of lensless, black plastic glasses were perched on his nose, and he was dressed smartly: a short sleeve black dress suit with a blue tie, and dark slacks with a belt and shoes. Patton felt a rush of heat to his chest at the sight of the brown hair just long enough to fall in front of his glasses and eyes, his heart skipping a beat.

“That is quite alright. Feel free to find an open seat. My name is Logan, and I’ll be your ATA for this semester.”

ATA? What’s that? Instead of asking the pressing question on his mind, Patton smiled as brightly as he could, sticking an awkward hand out for a shake while introducing, “Awesome! I’m Patton!”

“It is nice to meet you, Patton.” Logan smiled softly, Patton’s legs almost giving out beneath him as Logan grasped his hand.

AHHH COLD COLD COLD COLD—

Looking down, Patton was surprised to notice that coldness was because Logan’s hands were entirely metal, the skin of his upper arms disappearing around the elbow to expose the mechanics all the way down to his fingertips. Patton’s brain was entirely mush, not fully registering Logan’s robotic nature as he smiled goofily and let go of the handshake with an awkward chuckle. “You too!”

Not leaving Logan any time to reply, Patton dashed away through the row of empty desks to find a seat towards the middle of the room, dropping his backpack beside him and pressing his hands to his face in an attempt to cool them down.

You go to a tech school with robots and AI and such, so why are you surprised? Virgil told you about the teaching bots already.

Though he failed to mention how hecking cute they—

He cut off his own train of thought as the professor loudly announced their presence by dropping their bag onto the front desk, drawing everyone’s attention up front.

Taking a notebook out and flipping to the front page, Patton doodled a loopy title with colored pens as the professor introduced himself, only half listening until—

“—and this is Logan. He’s a teaching bot developed by the school, and he will be serving as the Automated Teaching Assistant for this class and recitation.”

So that’s what ATA stands for.

Patton’s gaze wandered from his page at the mention of the android sitting at another desk at the front, quietly admiring him for a moment before realizing that the professor had already started lecturing and he needed to pay attention.

The hour and fifteen minutes passed in a blink.

Patton ended up with a page and a half full of rather messy intro notes and absolutely nothing—a few small sketches of Logan—in the margins of the page, tucking his notebook away in his backpack as the other students quickly vacated the room. Taking a brief moment to press some wrinkles out of his shirt and adjust his glasses, Patton quickly gathered the rest of his things and hurried for the door.

As he was one of the last ones to leave, Patton stalled his steps long enough to tap lightly on Logan’s desk to get his attention before slipping out the door and calling, “Bye Logan! I'll see you Wednesday!”

“Oh, um, yes. You will.”

Patton disappeared quickly out the door, barely hearing Logan’s reply and entirely missing the way two hazel eyes flickered to follow him out of the classroom.

[misswoozi]

🦒 anon here checking in! Thank you to that one anon who thought of me at the mall 😂 But also, I want to thank YOU for being awesome and I hope you have a great Sunday ☺️ I stayed up and watched the Agust D concert so not only am I exhausted but I'm also a little hungover 😂

HELLO MY BELOVED!! I hope you had a blast at the concert!! And I am thrilled my other anons love you as much as I do!

[study-coffee-chicago]

Drunk Face (A Halstead brothers + Halstead sister! Imagine)

"Bye Y/N," Jay started as he grabbed his last duffle bag from beside the kitchen table. "Make good choices. Don't do anything stupid. Will's on shift tonight, but best believe I will find service if I get a call from him saying you got brought into Med or from a fellow cop saying that you got picked up."

"Jay, relax. I'll be fine. This isn't my first weekend staying home alone by myself," you said.

"Yes, but it's the first time you'll be home alone for the weekend when you're 21. That's what I worry about."

"Who says I didn't drink when I was home alone before I was 21?"

"Excuse me?" Jay asked, setting his duffle back down on the floor.

"I'm kidding. I wouldn't try that with you as my brother. If it was just Will, maybe."

"Nice to know I'm the stricter one."

"Jay, babe," Hailey asked as she walked back into the apartment, "you ready?"

"Yeah, just telling Y/N to make good choices," he replied as he picked up his bag once more.

"No, he just doesn't trust me, that's what this is, Hailey," you said.

"Jay, be nice to Y/N. She's a good kid. She'll be fine," Hailey said and brushed her arm up against Jay.

"She's 21."

"Pretty sure she only drinks seltzers. It's hard to get drunk super fast off of those unless you shotgun them."

"What's that?"

"Nothing!" they both exclaimed.

"Okay, okay. I'll just google it." Jay opened the door and let Hailey out first and then followed her out. "Have fun! Use protection!" you yelled before you closed the door.

"My God," Jay laughed. "You've been spending way too much time with Adam."

"Leave! Make smart choices!" Then, you closed the door behind them for a weekend by yourself.

A few hours later you got home from the liquor store with your premade mango Jose Cuervo margarita. First, you grabbed a lemon-y kind of beer from the mini-fridge where Jay kept all the alcohol. You drank that with your dinner. Then, you turned on your favorite tv show and poured yourself a glass of that mango margarita.

***

God, you didn't even feel that drunk. You had drank a can of that beer and two and a half glasses of that mango margarita...which was about 1/2-2/3 of the bottle...and it was a big bottle.

You walked upstairs to go to the bathroom. You were a little buzzed, but not as bad as one time when you drank a margarita and three white claws. And, you drank those fast and you just fell asleep with a dopey, drunk smile on your face. You were hungover the next day, but you were just tired; you'd never thrown up from drinking before. You just kept your buzz going for a bit.

But, when you sat on the toilet and started going to the bathroom, you felt sweat start to bead on your face. "Aw, shit," you muttered.

You took a deep breath and stood up to wash your hands. As you were standing up, you started to get hot and your stomach started to hurt. The world seemed to spin a bit, too. So, after you washed your hands, you just laid down on the fluffy, light blue rug of the bathroom, breathing in and out slowly and occasionally groaning in pain.

Eventually, you decided to stand up, grab some water, and made your way to your room. Since you were already in your pajamas, you just went right to bed, after all, it was after midnight.

You laid in bed and tried to get the pain in your stomach to stop by changing positions and jamming your knee into your stomach.

Bad plan.

You felt the familiar feeling of a lump rising in your throat. But, you were so tired and buzzed that you hoped this wouldn't happen.

But, then it did, all the alcohol came up and out of your mouth, leaving you with the stale taste of margarita in your mouth and vomit all over your shirt and bedsheets.

God, you thought of just falling asleep right there. But, that was disgusting.

So, you grabbed your phone and made your way to the bathroom. You were still sweating, practically panting at this point while you leaned over the toilet, just trying to keep it down.

This was hell.

This had never happened before...and you had drank the same amount before.

Something was wrong.

Maybe it was the fact you just started a new acne medication a week ago. Yeah, that was probably it. It had to be that, it just had to be.

You heaved and then puked again.

Once you were finished, you grabbed your phone from the bathroom counter. You couldn't call Will. He was on shift and if he had to come, he'd most definitely tell Jay and then he'd never let you stay home alone overnight again.

So, you chose a different number: Kim Burgess.

"C'mon...pick up..." you muttered.

"Hello?"

Shit, that wasn't Kim. It was Adam. Had you called the wrong number? Were they sleeping together? You knew they were basically together, but to find out in this kind of way was kind of weird. Were they--

"Y/N? Hello?" Adam asked again.

"Y/N's calling?" you heard Kim say in the background.

You felt the familiar lump in your throat and puked again.

"Y/N! Are you okay? Are you there?" Adam asked frantically.

"Put it on speaker," you heard Kim say.

"Y/N, you're on speaker. What's going on?"

You wiped your mouth. "I- I drank too much and I'm on a new acne medication and I'm throwing up and I can't call Will because he's working and I don't know what to do," you rushed out before you could puke again. "Can you come over?"

"We'll be right there. Hang tight, kid," Adam said. "Me and Kim are on our way."

"You need us to stay on the phone, Y/N?" Kim asked.

"No, I- I should be fine until you get here."

"Okay, we'll be there soon."

One of the two hung up the phone and you started to feel hot again, but your stomach didn't hurt. And, even though laying on the rug of your bathroom with alcohol-smelling vomit on your shirt wasn't the best idea, you did it anyway because you were so tired.

***

"He's gotta be the stupidest person alive to put his spare key above his door. That's where everyone puts it. Dumbass," Adam said to Kim as they stood outside your apartment door.

"Adam, just open the damn door," Kim told him.

Adam reached the key and unlocked the door. "Alexa, play Drunk Face by Machine Gun Kelly," Adam joked.

"Adam! Not the time!"

Kim started walking around the apartment, trying to find you. "Y/N, where are you? It's Kim and Adam, no one's broken in. It's just us. We're here to help."

"Kim," Adam whispered. He nodded his head towards the bathroom door.

Kim threw herself to the floor and looked through the tiny crack. "She's in there. She's laying down."

Adam immediately went to open the door.

"Shit," he said when he saw you lying there with your eyes closed, vomit all on your shirt.

"Mhm, don't tell Will and Jay," you groaned.

"Oh thank God, she's conscious," Adam said.

"Y/N, can you stand up so we can get you out of these clothes? Maybe take a shower?" Kim suggested.

"Tired," you told her.

"I know, I know you're tired. But we have to get you out of these clothes before you can go to bed," Kim said. You groaned again. "How about Adam goes and grabs you a new shirt and then I help you into the shower. How does that sound?"

"Okay."

"Adam?"

"On it."

When Adam went to your room, he was immediately hit by the smell of vomit. You had planned on washing your sheets once you had cleaned yourself up, but you felt so bad, that you had just left it and figured you'd get to it when you finally got yourself up and out of the bathroom.

He quickly rifled through your dresser and found a t-shirt. Then, he went back upstairs to find the door closed, so he quickly knocked on it.

Kim had helped you take your shirt off and had thrown it in the sink. You were currently standing up, back facing her, as you waited for Adam to come back with your clean t-shirt.

"Babe, I grabbed the shirt. She okay in there?" Adam asked.

"Just about to take a shower," Kim answered. "Hand it to me when I open the door."

Kim opened the door and Adam handed her the shirt and then she handed it to you.

"Am I good to leave here, Y/N? Or do you need help?" Kim asked.

"I'll be fine," you told her. "But please don't tell Jay or Will."

"Y/N, you got drunk and went over your limits everyone does it. It's—"

"Please," you begged.

"Just, take a shower. We'll figure this out later."

"Okay."

Then, Kim left the bathroom and you took a shower.

"She puked on her bed," Adam said.

"She doesn't want us to tell Jay or Will," Kim said at the same time.

"Okay, wait," Adam started, "say yours again."

"She doesn't want us to tell Jay or Will," Kim said.

"Why not? Everyone does it at least once when they first start out drinking."

"I don't know. Maybe she didn't want to disappoint them?"

"Could be. So, do we tell them or not?"

"I mean, she asked us not to, and I don't think we should. She trusts us enough to call us, so I think we shouldn't break that trust."

"I guess you're right. But, we have another problem."

"And what's that?" Kim asked.

"She tossed her cookies on her sheets."

"Shit, okay," Kim sighed.

"Hey, thanks for coming," you said as you walked out of the bathroom five minutes later in clean pajamas. It's not like you had to wash your hair or anything, just your body.

"You're welcome," Kim said. She pulled a chair out from under the kitchen table and sat down. "Honey, Adam saw your sheets when he walked into your room to grab you a shirt. Do you need any help with that?"

"No, I was gonna clean it up and then I puked and I got hot and then I took a shower and—"

"Y/N, it's okay. We know you're exhausted because you just got all sick. So, how about you strip your bed and throw your sheets in the washer and me and Adam will make your bed. How's that sound?"

You nodded. "Thank you guys so much. And, you guys can take the margarita mix if you want. I never wanna taste that stuff again."

"Don't mind if we do."

"Adam!" Kim smacked him on the chest.

"What? Free alcohol."

"God, you're a college kid in a thirty-year-old's body."

"That's right. Now, let's get this college kid to bed."

***

"Ruz, where'd you get this?" Kevin asked when he saw the leftover margarita on Adam's desk that he brought to share with the unit.

"Oh, Y/N gave it to us when me and Kim went over to help her Friday night when she got shitfaced and puked all over," Adam answered casually.

Kim smacked his chest. "Adam!" She glanced over at Jay who was making his way over to them, an angry expression on his face.

"Y/N got shitfaced this weekend?" Jay asked as he crossed his arms over his chest and gave Adam a stern look.

"Well, it wasn't really shitfaced because she was still fully conscious and lucid. She was a bit buzzed, and she puked."

"And you know this how?"

"Jay," Kim started, "she did the right thing. She didn't know what to do, so she called an adult."

"She called both of you?" Jay asked.

"Well, uh, she called me but Adam picked up since we were at my apartment..." Kim trailed off.

"Gotcha," Jay said. "Well, I'm glad you helped her. Thanks for that. But me and Will will definitely be having a conversation with her tonight."

***

"So, how was Wisconsin?" you asked as you, Jay, and Will sat down to eat some paninis you and Jay had cooked up later that night.

"It was great," Jay answered.

"What'd you do?"

"Went on the boat, slept in, jumped off in the lake, Hailey made cinnamon rolls, the usual," Jay answered.

"Do you two remember when you guys had me jump off in the middle of the lake without a life jacket?" you asked.

"Oh, yeah," Will laughed. "We had our asses handed to us by Mom after that."

"We gonna jump off, Will?" Eight-year-old you asked your oldest brother who had just come home from college for summer break.

"Duh," Jay replied. "That's the best part, silly!"

"Yes! That's so much fun!" You grabbed your little life jacket and Jay helped you into the boat because sometimes you'd get scared you'd fall into the water in the space between the boat and the dock.

"When can I drive the boat?" you asked as you sat down next to Jay and Will sat in the captain's chair and started backing the boat out.

"When you're eighteen," Will answered.

"But that's ten years!" you protested. "That's too long!"

"It'll go by fast," Jay promised.

"No, it won't." Jay just laughed at your remark.

Ten minutes later, you were out in the middle of the lake and Will was dropping anchor while Jay set up the ladder.

Once that was all set, Jay jumped off the boat without a life jacket. You followed him, but with a life jacket of course. After a few jumps, you took your life jacket off while you took a sip of your red kool-aid. You didn't have to wear your life jacket unless you were in the water. The boys were currently standing on the boat about to jump off again, but they started whispering amongst the two of them.

"Hey, Y/N," Jay started, "What do you think about jumping off the boat without a life jacket?"

"So, like you Will? Like big kids?" you asked, cocking your head to the side.

"Exactly. Will would be in the water and I'd be up here and you'd just jump to him."

"I dunno. Mom and Dad always told me to wear my life jacket when I jump off. I don't wanna get in trouble."

"You won't."

Will jumped in the water and swam a bit further away than usual so you had room to jump in. "C'mon, Y/N! You've taken swimming lessons, you can do it!" he encouraged.

"I- I dunno, Will. How deep is it?"

"Um," he faltered. "Maybe ten of me?"

There's no way you'd be able to touch that!

"You'll be fine," Jay reassured. "Will will be right there. But, you gotta swim to him."

"He won't catch me? But, what if the water monsters get me and pull me under?"

"There's no water monsters," Jay told you.

But, if the water was as deep as Jay said it was, then how does he know?

"I changed my mind," you said quickly. "I want my life jacket back."

"Y/N, you'll be fine," Jay told you.

"No!" you wailed and reached for your life jacket, but Jay grabbed it and threw it in the water to Will.

"If you want it, you have to get it from Will," he told you."

"No!" your lip started to tremble and tears started to form in your eyes. "You get it!"

"Nope, it's yours. You get it."

"But you threw it!"

"And I'm gonna throw you in!"

You tried to run away, but it was too late. And, where would you go? You were on a boat after all.

"J--" You tried to yell, but you were already flying through the air and into the lake without a life jacket.

You hated the feeling of falling into the water without getting pulled back up immediately because of your life jacket. You had swallowed water, too so that wasn't helpful. You kicked your little legs as hard as you could to get back above the water, and when you did, you coughed and sputtered, trying to get the water out of your mouth and take in some much-needed air.

"Shit, Jay!" you heard Will yell as he quickly swam over to you with your life jacket and grabbed you by the waist. "Why'd you do that?" Then, he turned his attention to you. "It's okay, you're okay. Just breathe. I've got you. I've got you."

He set one hand on your back as you started climbing the ladder and then climbed up after you. Then, he shoved Jay in the water.

"What the hell, man?" Jay exclaimed when he broke the surface.

"Dude, I didn't know you were gonna throw her in! Mom's gonna kill you!"

"No, she's gonna kill us! You just swam there and let it happen!"

"You didn't jump off the boat without a parent there for a long time after that," Jay stated.

"And for good reason! I could've drowned!" you argued.

"Will was there. He would've gotten you."

"That's not the point! And I'm pretty sure that's the same logic Mom used when she took your car keys away from you for the rest of the summer and didn't let Will's girlfriend stay over when she was visiting him."

You ate your food for a bit and then Jay turned to you. "So, Y/N, we need to talk."

You gulped. There's no way Adam and Kim told him what happened! They promised!

"About what?" you asked.

"About you getting drunk on Friday night and calling Kim and Adam because you got sick," Jay explained.

"I don't know what you're--"

"Cut the bullshit. Adam told us in the bullpen today. So, I suggest you explain what happened."

So, you explained because you knew not to argue with Jay when he used that tone.

"Y/N, do you know about proofs on alcohol?" Jay asked.

"No, what are those?"

"It's the amount of alcohol in a drink. For example, seltzers typically have 3-5% alcohol in them, but margaritas like the one you apparently bought that Adam has now, has about 19% alcohol."

You widened your eyes. "So, I can't just go on how many glasses I'm drinking?"

"No way. Why do you think shots come in tiny glasses? Because they have lots of alcohol in a small volume."

"Oh, oops. Sorry."

"Y/N," Will started, "This isn't an oops thing. You could've seriously died from that if you kept drinking." You furrowed your eyebrows. "There's this thing called alcohol poisoning. It's when you drink too much alcohol in a short amount of time, so your body can't filter it in your liver fast enough. And, you just got on a new acne medication, so that's also filtered in your liver. Because of this, your liver's working overtime, which could be why you didn't feel super drunk but still threw up."

"Oh, okay." You knew you sounded dismissive, but you were embarrassed about what you'd done.

"Don't you get that this was dangerous?" Jay asked. "You could've died if you kept going!"

"Jay--"

"No, she needs to know this, Will. If you kept drinking, then you could've gotten seriously sick and had to go to the hospital! That's why bartenders cut people off: so they don't get sick because people can die from alcohol poisoning!"

"I'm sorry, okay! I'm embarrassed because I didn't think I even had that much and I didn't even know what a proof was!"

Jay's eyes softened. "Y/N, we're just trying to protect you. Why do you think we told you all that stuff about not leaving your drink unattended at a bar or watching the bartender make your drink and not just taking it from someone? It's because we're trying to keep you safe, Short Stack."

You nodded. "You're right. I really am sorry. And, you don't have to worry about me drinking a lot until I'm off that medication...or ever really."

Will chuckled. "Yeah, we figured as much."

A/N: I threw a few requests together and this is what I came up with. I wrote this in a day btw. (Also, I did get drunk like this once and I'm pretty sure it was because of the combination of the acne medication and the alcohol. Always drink responsibly and only drink if you're of the legal drinking age.) Anyway, thanks for reading and please reblog/like and comment and tell me what you think! As, always, just tell me if you want to be added to my taglist and I'll add you!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies@brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch

[annie-mit-ie]

Glimpses: Part 14a (Kathryn Hahn x Fem!Reader)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part 1 // previous chapter <<< >>> next chapter

Summary: The cast goes out for dinner.

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: Well hello there again! I was scheduled for work today but my shift got cancelled, so I had some time to go on with the story. Today's story doesn't begin with a gif - but it ends with one. Additionally, I am very anxious for everyone's reaction. Please don't kill me. xxx A.

Tag List: @danvers97 @zafirosreverie @srtamercurio @wanatag @pulledbythestars17 @plantowl @spacehahn @sarahp-stan @agentbrownierso @our-blood-is-our-ink

Playlist! :)

_____________________________________________________________________________

On set has always been Kathryn’s favorite place to be. Ever since she can think, she wanted to be an actress. It’s overwhelming sometimes, that’s for sure. But watching the movies at the end, after the projects are done, is the most rewarding thing to her. 

It’s Wednesday afternoon, today was a short day because the director scheduled some night shootings at the beginning of the week and promised to give everyone off earlier on Wednesday so the cast could go out for dinner. That’s why Kathryn is sitting in her Trailer with manager Jennifer and assistant Agnes (Ben is already off for the day) as they enjoy a cup of coffee as they chat about the upcoming weeks.

Kathryn is sprawled out on the couch, propping her feet up on Jennifer’s lap who doesn’t mind to have a little less personal space. Jennifer is studying the week’s schedule on her iPad as Kathryn stares at the ceiling. 

“Do you know what you want to wear to dinner today?” Kathryn props her head up to look at Jennifer and tries to find a quick answer.

She hates questions about outfits because usually she just throws on a blazer to whatever shirt she is wearing that day and calls is a day. As if anyone cares what she is wearing. Also, with no social media she wouldn’t notice bad press anyway.

Realizing Kathryn hasn’t thought of it yet, Agnes gets up and walks towards her wardrobe. Kathryn’s eyes follow her.

“Thank you, Aggie, just a black blazer would be great. Did I bring one? I’ll just wear it with the shirt I’m wearing. No fuzz and all.” Kathryn says apologetically. She feels bad for not getting up and arranging her clothes herself, but she is completely exhausted and can’t find the strength to get up just yet.

The three woman chat for a little longer before Kathryn sits down to reapply her makeup and fix her hair. There’s a knock on the door. Once again, Agnes is the one who gets up to open it as Jennifer is on a call with a magazine who wants to interview Kathryn soon.

“Hello! Can I he-“ The redhead nearly falls out of the trailer as she is faced with one of Kathryn’s co stars. The actor smiles at her softly, offering a hand to steady her.

“Is Kathryn here?” He asks in a raspy, low voice and peeks his head into the trailer. Kathryn, who has turned around from where she is seated, makes eye contact with him and offers a slow wave to say hello.

“K! We’re slowly but surely getting ready to leave and I thought I’d give you a heads up and maybe even take you with me already.” Hearing this nickname from anyone but you makes Kathryn feel very uneasy and her whole inside flinches as she realizes that, if she doesn’t speak up about it, he will continue using it. But at the same time: what is she supposed to say? She can’t just call him out for something like that because that could make her seem extremely unfriendly right away.

Realizing an answer is long overdue, she nods and checks herself in the mirror. “Can I get… like 10 more minutes, Jeff? I’ll come find you immediately.”

He shoots her a bright smile “Don’t worry! Let’s make it 15 and I’ll pick you up again.” And with that he leaves the trailer again.

Jennifer, who ended the call just a moment ago, looks up from the tablet to grin at Kathryn. “What a gentleman.” She winks.

“Treating you just the way you deserve to be treated.” Agnes also winks at her and Kathryn wishes she could just slap both of them. Lovingly, obviously.

Jennifer gets her attention back. “So…. Are you gonna go with him?”

“IS IT GONNA BE A DATE?” The younger woman jumps in excitedly.

Kathryn turns around to actually face her two closest people again without a mirror being the transmitting point. “Guys, you know I’ve been spending time with Y/N. That would be extremely unfair to her. I couldn’t.”

Agnes starts nodding as Jennifer takes her attention off the tablet for a moment and fully faces Kathryn. “I know, but let’s face it. She is much younger than you, doesn’t know a thing about the business and she won’t be here for a long long time. And of she would be here then press would go absolutely wild and you know that!”

“But… she makes me happy.” Kathryn won’t let her manager talk for herself and over her feelings like that and smiles as she sees her assistant nod behind Jennifer’s back over the remark.

“Might be, but still. My point stands. As your manager I have to tell you that both could be an extreme distraction, but at least he is here and you don’t have to stay up extremely late to communicate.” Jennifer looks back at her tablet, where she furiously starts typing. “Also. He has a very clean record and seems genuinely nice.”

“Let’s put on the red lipstick you brought, Kathryn! I’ll help you.” Agnes smiles and gets up from where she is seated to step closer to Kathryn, pushing her red hair behind her ears.

As they look at each other in the mirror and Kathryn’s eyes meet hers, she realizes how emotional her boss seems to be over the whole situation. Realizing Agnes is about to make another remark, Kathryn slightly shakes her head as she keeps intense eye contact and reaches for the lipstick to distract herself.

Just a moment later, Jeffrey knocks on the door again.

“There she is!” He exclaims, reaching for Kathryn’s hand who is about to step out of the trailer. “The most beautiful woman on set.”

She blushes and slaps his arm that is intertwined with hers all while jokingly rolling her eyes. “Oh shush.” She laughs.

“Just spilling some facts. Let’s go, I’ll drive. The others left just a moment ago and I offered to bring you.”

It’s a short drive and the two hold a casual conversation about previous projects and the mood is good. He seems to actually be quiet the gentleman as he immediately walks around the car and opens the door for her to get out. It’s just now becomes clear that it wasn’t a smart idea to leave later than the others.

Word must have spread and paparazzi and a handful of fans are building a crowd in front of the restaurant. For aesthetic reasons, the restaurant’s entrance is made out to look like a red carpet - the perfect opportunity to shoot some pictures of the stars.

The whole cast is still outside, waiting for Jeff and Kathryn all while handing out autographs. Paparazzi line up to get the perfect shot of the whole cast. Someone from the restaurant seems to be outside already to organize and manage the situation and give the cast some space. He talks the paparazzi down to take a single picture of all of them together.

Kathryn gets seemingly uneasy. She never really does a lot of big press for her projects and events like the Grammys are so organized that she doesn’t get to experience chaos like this, especially with no security around. Jeffrey turns around to look at her. “Hold on to me, we’ll be inside in a minute.”

She smiles thankfully and intertwines their arms again on their way inside. As they are all stopped for the cast picture, the fans line up with the paparazzi to get some pictures themselves. There is a moment of silence as the hotel manager arranges everyone and clears the chaos. A random girl in the back of the people suddenly jumps up and, thereby, grabs everyone’s attention. “I LOVE YOU, KATHRYN.” She jumps again. “YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL, KATHRYN.” She yells, prompting Kathryn to break out into the most beautiful smile, a sight that doesn’t go unnoticed by Jeffrey who smiles back at her, creating a moment that is captured by a fan’s phone.

Dinner itself is calming and everyone has a good time. Kathryn loves to get to know everyone this way and they stay for multiple hours until the sun has long set and it seems like everyone is on their third desert, just to drag out the time.

Slightly intoxicated from all the wine she has had with the female co star next to her, Kathryn smiles at Jeffrey. “Thank you for offering a ride, by the way. I feel like I haven’t said that yet.”

“You are very welcome.” He replies and places his hand on her upper thigh for a moment as the two of them look at each other for a little too long.

“Kathryn! Another glass?” She actress next to Kathryn grabs her attention as the waiter offers to pour another one. Overthinking for a moment, Kathryn ends up declining the glass and asks for a water instead. She doesn’t want to be hungover tomorrow.

As it nears midnight, the cast slowly but surely makes their way back home and Jeff reaches out for Kathryn once again to help her up from the table. Just like before, he offers her a right back home to the hotel that she is staying in over night. They realize they are living on the same floor as they make their way back to her room. 

Kathryn, who’s red lipstick has already worn off from all the food and drinks she’s had, stumbles slightly. Not because she is drunk, but because of how tired she feels. There are no words to describe how glad she is that she doesn’t have to work early the next morning. Her first shoot isn’t until 3pm, so she will definitely be sleeping in.

Jeffrey guides her all the way to her room and watches her as she let’s herself in. He stays in the door frame, leaning against it as his eyes follow her every step. Kathryn takes off her blazer and ruffles through her hair after putting her jewelry on a plate on her table.

In her background, Jeffrey, who is still standing where she left him, clears his throat. “Come and spend the night with me.”

[on-the-heath]

hello! i lived through the first (half) week of the semester and i am exhausted! and hungover! but today is for Adult Life Tasks before i go see midsummer this evening :)

clean bathroom

clean floors (bathroom) (living) (bed) (kitchen)

laundry

errands (m) (bw) (lm)

groceries

sort library books

sort clothes

trash, recycling

meal prep

[assembledherethevolunteers]

A Very Johnica Christmas

A/N: Surprise @eileen-crys !! I am your Secret Santa for the Get Down, Give Joy Gift Exchange! I really hope you enjoy this and I hope that you have a very happy holidays! Special thanks to @warriorteam1924 and @thosequeenboys

Pairing: John Deacon x Veronica Tetzlaff

Summary: John and Veronica are getting ready for the holidays, but something might get in the way of that.

Warnings: Fluff, A Bit of Anxiety, Pregnancy, and Mentions/Implications of Sexy Times (but nothing explicit)

Taglist: @queenlover05 @theblossomknows

 John sat down at the dining table in the small flat and looked over the song sheets one more time, trying to decide if he really wanted to give it to the band for the album.

“John, what are you doing?” Veronica asked from the kitchen as she continued making dinner. He’d been unusually quiet today. She wasn’t sure what was going through his head.

“Just working on a song,” John replied, not looking up at her.

“Can I read it?”

John’s eyes traveled to her, trying to decide if he really wanted her to read it. “I think I might make you wait with the rest of the world.”

Veronica pouted at him. “Well what good is being engaged to a world famous musician if I don’t get sneak peeks of things?”

John chuckled and Veronica tried to hold her pout, but that laugh always got her.

“World famous? Not sure we’re there yet, love.”

“Maybe not, but I think you will. Especially if Fred and Roger have anything to do with it.” Veronica checked one of her pots on the stove. “Are you ready to eat?”

Later, John was getting ready to leave, giving Veronica a chaste kiss.

“Sure you won’t let me read the song?” Veronica tried one more time, running one of her fingers down the zipper of his coat.

John grabbed her hand and pulled up, gently gilding his lips across her knuckles. “Sure you won’t let me spend the night?”

Veronica giggled. “Not tonight. I’m very tired. And you need to be at the studio in the morning.”

“I can be late. Freddie’s always late,” John’s lips continued up her arm.  

“John,” Veronica whined. “Go. I’ve got to work in the morning.”

John pulled back with a wide smile. “Alright then. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Hm…I may have another date but I may be able to squeeze you in while I’m decorating the flat for Christmas.”

“I’ll take what I can get,” John pulled Veronica in for another kiss before he reluctantly left.

Veronica watched him go, arguing with herself about whether to call out to him and have him spend the night. It wouldn’t be the first time and wouldn’t be the last.  

She decided against it and went back inside to get ready for bed.

The next morning, Veronica started getting ready for work. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she wasn’t feeling very well. Probably just something to do with the time of year. It was winter and didn’t everybody feel a bit worse around this time?

“Veronica, don’t take this wrong way,” Laura, one of her coworkers, said the next morning.

“Great way to start a conversation,” Veronica rolled her eyes. She liked Laura, she just could be a bit much sometimes.

“You just…um…you look a little…different.”

Veronica frowned. She already didn’t like where this was going.

“Different how?”

Laura looked around, as if somebody might be able to help her, but nobody did.

“You’re tired, and you just…that shirt seems a bit…tighter.”

Veronica glanced down at her shirt. It wasn’t like it was unreasonably tight or anything. Maybe she had put on a few pounds here and there, but it wasn’t like she had gained an unnaturally amount in a short period.

It was the holidays after all and the additional stress of planning a wedding meant she may not have been eating as well as she usually would. It was a bit rude to say something pointing it out. After all, Veronica hadn’t mentioned all the times Laura had come to work noticeably hungover.

“Well, thank you for your concern, Laura, but if you don’t mind I’ll be getting back to work now.” Veronica grabbed some paperwork that may or may not have actually needed to be taken away, but needed a reason to get out of the conversation before she said something she would regret.

 Veronica was sitting on the floor, pulling things out of boxes when John walked into the flat with some take away.

“Hello, gorgeous,” John called to her.

Veronica hummed in acknowledgement, working on a stubborn string of lights that just would. Not. Untangle.

“How was your day?” John placed the bag of food on the table and started to unpack.

“Oh fine, had to go down to the creepy basement to get this box,” Veronica kicked it from her spot on the couch. “And one of the kids stained one of my favorite skirts.”

“A full day,” John brought over a plate of food full of Veronica’s favorite.

She smiled and took the plate from John before he went to make his own.

“How was the studio?” Veronica took a bite of her food, not realizing how hungry she’d been.

“Well, all four of us are still alive, so there’s that.”

“Always a plus,” Veronica smiled as John walked over and sat next to her.

The two of them continued catching up with each others day. Veronica stood up and went into the bathroom.

She glanced at herself in full length mirror and realized that she did seem to have gained a little weight. She hadn’t really noticed,but now looking at herself in the mirror, she could see it.

“John?” Veronica came out of the bathroom to find him unwrapping some ornaments.

“Yes, love?”

“Do you think I’ve gained weight?”

“Of course not, darling. You’re perfect,” John replied, not taking his eyes off the ornament in his hands.

Veronica rolled her eyes. “You didn’t even look at me.”

“I don’t have to. You look incredible, my bride-to-be.”

Veronica knew how to get his attention. She looked down at her her chest. “Really? Because it seems even my breasts have gotten bigger.”

John’s head whipped around and he then looked Veronica over.

“Made you look,” Veronica smirked. “But seriously, Laura made some comment that I’ve gained weight and I don’t know if I disagree with her.”

John stood up and walked over to her, looking her up and down as he did.

But Veronica couldn’t stop talking.

“...and if I gain too much weight I won’t be able to fit in my wedding dress and you won’t have a beautiful bride and,” Veronica’s vision started to swim.

“Ronnie,” John took her hands, pulling her left hand up to their eye level. “What is this?”

Veronica frowned, not sure what John was talking about.

“Come on, sweetheart,” John kept his voice gentle, trying to coax an answer out of her.

“My engagement ring?”

“And do you know why I gave you this?”

“Because you want to marry me?”

“Exactly,” John pressed a kiss to her knuckle just in front of her ring. “And I will want to marry you whether you’re as big as a house or if you shrink down to a tiny little thing that I can put in my pocket.”

Veronica smiled and shook her head. The tears were gone as soon as they appeared. She knew that John wouldn’t have cared how she looked. “If I can fit in your pocket, huh? I don’t know if I’d fit in those tight trousers of yours.” Veronica slid her arms around John’s neck.

“I’ve never heard you complain about my tight trousers before,” John smiled, happy that Veronica was no longer upset.

“Oh I’m not complaining about them now,” Veronica gave John a kiss.

The next few hours, the two set up the flat so that it was a Christmas wonderland.

John finally left around midnight, because Veronica was just exhausted.

Veronica got ready for bed and started to let her mind wander.

She had been feeling extremely tired lately, and she had gained weight (she may not have noticed and it was rude for Laura to say something, but she was right). Now she was thinking about the last time she’d had her period. She counted back and seemingly couldn’t come up with a time after October.

There was no way. That didn’t seem right. She’d had her period in November, surely. And it was only mid-December so she had time still.

However, maybe it would be better if she just made an appointment. That would be a good idea. She didn’t have to work the next day, so maybe she could call her gynecologist.

The next morning, Veronica went to her OB/GYN’s office. She was nervous. If she was pregnant, her parents would be furious. They were under the impression that John and Veronica were waiting until marriage. Would she be able to hide it until the wedding? If her calculations were right, she’d be nearly three months along by the time they got married.

“Miss Tetzlaff?” The nurse’s voice called.

Veronica looked up and made her way over. “Good morning,” Veronica’s voice shook slightly.

The nurse gave her a calming smile, which made Veronica relax a bit. “Follow me.”

Veronica and the nurse made their way to an exam room.

“So, what brings you in today, love?”

“Well, I…um…this is a bit embarrassing, but I’ve just realized that I haven’t had my period for a couple months.”

The nurse nodded, making a note on her clipboard. She then asked a couple more questions that Veronica answered.

“Alright, love,” the nurse smiled at Veronica. “Doctor will be in soon. Get yourself comfortable on the table there.”

“Thank you.”

Veronica got up on the table and waited for the doctor to come in. She was nervous. What if John didn’t want the baby? Yes, they’d talk about having children, but so soon? And their parents would be surprised, if not disappointed.

Veronica’s mind was whirling so fast that she didn’t even hear the doctor come in.

“Miss Tetzlaff? Are you alright?”

“Hm?” Veronica looked up to the doctor.

The doctor gave her a smile similar to the one the nurse had in the lobby. “Just asked how you were doing.”

“Oh, I’m…well, nervous if I’m being honest.”

“Nothing wrong with that, love. Now, why don’t we get started?”

The doctor made some small talk with the doctor as she did her job. It was little uncomfortable, but Veronica needed to know what was going on.

“Alright!” The doctor pulled up and gave Veronica a triumphant smile. “Well, everything looks good and healthy, but we won’t know anything for sure until we get the results in a day or two.”

“Do you have a guess?”

The doctor lifted one eye brow. “Do you really want me to guess?”

Veronica sighed and shook her head. “I suppose not.”

“We will give you a call tomorrow or the day after and let you know either way. In the meantime, relax, get some rest.”

Veronica nodded. “Thank you, Doctor.”

The next day, Veronica couldn’t focus on anything other than her results. She was okay when John decided not to come over after the studio that night because she wasn’t sure if she could keep if a secret from him, even if she wasn’t 100% yet. She tried to sit down and relax but couldn’t do that so she deiced to go for a walk, but even being outside didn’t help.

Veronica came back inside, hearing her phone ring. She ran over and grabbed the phone as quickly as she could.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Miss Tetzlaff?”

“Yes, this is her.”

“Hi, this is Doctor Wes. Are you available to talk?”

“I am.”

“Well, Miss Tetzlaff, I’ve got your results and let me be the first to say, congratulations. You are pregnant.”

It sounded like wind was howling in Veronica’s ears. She knew that Doctor Wes was still talking, but she wasn’t retaining any of it.

“...another appointment some time next week. When’s a time that works for you?”

“I’m sorry?”

“We’ll need to make another appointment for you so that we can do a little bit more of an in depth appointment. We can figure out how far along you are, what to expect, all those conversations. And you’re more than welcome to bring your partner.”

“My partner…” Veronica nearly dropped the phone. She now had to tell John. There was no way that she could hide something like this from him.

“Miss Tetzlaff?”

“Yes, sorry, um…what times do you have available?”

Veronica made an appointment for December 23rd since it was the next available time. And on Christmas Eve, she and John would be celebrating their own Christmas in the early afternoon, so maybe the two of them could have serious conversation about it then.

Until then, Veronica would keep it to herself. John would be busy with the album since the band wanted to get as much done as they could before the holidays, so the two of them didn’t have very many plans until Christmas Eve.

Maybe she could surprise him…

The 23rd, Veronica went to her appointment and found out how far along she was and when she was due (mid-July).

“So, we’ll want to see you once every three weeks or so, just to make sure that everything is still going alright. Is that okay with you?”

Veronica nodded, still trying to completely warp her head around the fact that she was going to be a mother. She and the doctor made an appointment that she knew John would be able to come to. If he wanted.

But what if he didn’t?

Veronica ran through all the possible scenarios that could happen when she told John. Would he be happy? Excited? Would he be annoyed that they hadn’t been careful enough?

Would he leave her?

They could talk about it tomorrow. And if that’s truly what John wanted…well, she supposed she would have to deal with that.

Veronica was walking by a store when she noticed something that caught her eye. She debated with herself before deciding to go in and grab it. If John saw this, maybe he’d decide to stay.

The next morning, Veronica was trying to act like it was a normal day. Well, a normal Christmas Eve.

She started with making herself some breakfast and a pot of tea. John was supposed to be coming over around noon, so she had a little bit of time. She took a shower, paying attention to her midsection, realizing that it really had grown.

Once she was done, she got dressed and then waited. There was nothing more to do. The flat was decorated. There was no food to make because they were just going to have something small before having a bigger meal at her parents’ house before Mass.

With nothing to do but wait, Veronica couldn’t sit. She paced around the apartment, trying to figure out how to tell John the news. Just blurt it out? Give him the gift and see how he reacts? There weren’t really any good options in her eyes.

“Happy Christmas, my love!” John announced himself as he walked into the flat.

Veronica looked up at him from her spot on the couch and did her best to smile.

“What? No kiss?” John pouted at her.

“John, why don’t you come sit down?”

John’s face went from a pout to a frown. “Ronnie, are you alright?”

Veronica just scoot over on the couch so that there was room for him. John hesitated for a moment, but came over and sat next to her.

“I…I want you to open your present.”

John raised an eyebrow. “Alright?”

Veronica got up, grabbed John’s present from under the tree, and handed it to him. It was box, wrapped in green paper.

“Do you want yours?” John asked.

“I’d rather you just open yours now.”

John frowned again, but didn’t ask again. He slowly unwrapped the box and opened it. Inside was a baby onesie with a bass guitars all over it and some papers. John looked at the onesie and chuckled at it a bit. Veronica was surprised that he didn’t put it together there. But that’s why she included the papers.

“What are these?” John asked, holding them up.

“Read them.”

Veronica watched as John read the papers. She watched his eyes widen when (she assumes) he read the word ‘Pregnant’.

“Pregnant?” John whispered, nearly mouthing the word. He then looked over to her. “Y…you’re pregnant?”

Veronica nodded and watched all the color drain out of John’s face.

“A…and…I…that means…I’m going to be a father?”

Veronica nodded, still waiting for John to react.

John’s eyes filled with tears and he broke into a face splitting grin. “We’re going to have a baby.” John wrapped his arms around Veronica and basically pulled her into his lap. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, pressing kisses where ever he could reach.

“Y…you’re not mad?”

“Mad?” John pulled back so that he could look at her. John put his hand on her cheek, wiping away tears.

When had she teared up, let alone let them fall?

“Oh, Ronnie, how could I be mad? We’re going to be married and already starting on our family. I couldn’t imagine anything better!”

Veronica didn’t know what she was expecting, but it wasn’t exactly this.

“Are you not happy?” John asked her, now concerned himself.

Veronica honestly hadn’t let herself have feelings about the situation. But now that she knew John was happy, not only happy but excited, she could be as well. And she let herself feel it. She let the anticipation of being a mother wash over her. She allowed herself to imagine her and John’s child and they were beautiful. She imagined their soon to be life and it was beautiful.

“John,” her voice came out hoarse, but she couldn’t help it. She knew she was on the verge of tears. “I’m ecstatic.”

John grinned again before pulling her in for a kiss. “This is the best possible Christmas gift I could have ever gotten. Thank you, thank you so so much.”

Veronica cupped John’s face in her hands. “You helped a bit, you know.”

“I suppose so, but,” John put one of his hands on her stomach. “You’re going to be doing so much more than I am,” John’s hand gently rubbed Veronica’s stomach with his thumb. “And you’re going to be the best mother there is. I just know it.” John looked up at Veronica again, the smile never leaving his face.

“And you’re going to be a wonderful father, John.”

John gave Veronica a lopsided smile. Veronica burrowed herself deeper into John’s arms, resting her head on John’s shoulder. John placed his cheek to her temple.

John and Veronica sat in quiet for a few moments, just holding each other.

“It’s snowing,” Veronica noticed.

John lifted his head and looked out the window. “So it is.”

They watched as the snow drift down to the London streets.

“Merry Christmas, my love,” John whispered before pressing a kiss to Veronica’s hair.

Veronica hummed, happy and content, with her soon-to-be husband and child.

[burningauthors-blog]

same shit, different men

part one, part two

pairing: Thomas Shelby x bisexual!reader, Michael Grey x bisexual!reader

summary: you were working for the Shelby Company Ldt. in the US. Michael and you were really close, but then he met Gina and you decided that you have had enough and went to Birmingham.

warnings: drinking, swearing, language

a/n: found this on a prompt list from @wholelottaprompts​. 

prompt: “ i got tired of going through the same shit with different people. ”

Your life as a bisexual woman was never easy. Especially when it came to find a lover, the woman were scared of the consequences if your relationship ever got known to the public. The men you dated just wanted to have quick fun or even have a threesome with another girl. You were exhausted and annoyed.

Things might have changed, you though when you were offered a job as a bookkeeper by some British guy. You accepted his offer and the two of you soon became closer. 

You were basically fuck buddies, but Michael made sure to take you out once a month and since you weren't seeing anyone else, you guessed Michael wasn't either.

It was Monday, you haven't had heard from Michael the whole weekend but you didn’t thought much about it, it wasn't the first time he didn't came seeing you or calling you. 

At Noon you began worrying, he would at least call when he couldn’t make it to work but he sure was hungover from the weekend, you told yourself.

Tuesday was a cold, rainy day and you just hated it. Michael was already in his office, when you stopped at his door and smiled at him.

“ I was worried, when you didn't called yesterday. I suppose you had a good weekend then?”, you asked and walked further into his office.

“Yeah, yeah alright, y/n. Just laugh at me. Now would you please close the door behind you? I have a client coming in.”, he wasn't even looking up from the papers. 

He never behaved himself like this you towards you. Something was wrong you could feel it, the feeling crept up your bones and made shivers roll down your spine. You didn't answer him and just walked right into your office.

Normally Michael would invite you for lunch, it was obvious that he wouldn't make the first step today. You grabbed your coat and knocked at his door, you wanted to apologize about your saying this morning.

There was noise inside and you could have sworn that you heard a woman giggle. The door got opened, just this much that you could see Michaels face and the red lipstick stain on his collar.

You pushed the door further open and Michael took a deep breath.

You saw a half naked blonde woman kneeling in front of his desk, snorting something.

“Listen, y/n. I know how this looks, but we were never dating nor official in some way. So please don't throw a tantrum.”, he sounded annoyed and you looked at him with curious eyes.

The next thing you heard was a slap and then you felt your hand burning. You really slapped Michael, your ex lover and boss in the face.

It was a week later, when you stood at the reception desk in the Shelby Company Ldt. offices in Birmingham.

“Hello, do you have an appointment?”, a friendly men asked you. His name was Devlin, you could tell by the little card that hung from his chest pocket.

“No, but I would need a meeting with Mister Shelby, sir. It is really important.”, you smiled at him.

“Yes, one moment please.”, he quickly excused himself and walked down the corridor.

Thomas Shelby stood in front of his window that showed the reception and watched as you spoke to Devlin. He wondered who you were and what your business with him was.

He heard a knock on his office door and called Devlin in.

“Mister Shelby, there is a woman who wants to speak to you, she said it was important.”, he talked fast, too fast for Tommys liking.

“Send her in.”, Tommy answered and went to sit on his chair.

You followed Mister Devlin and thanked him, when he opened the door to Thomas’s office for you. Thomas went to stand up and shake your hand.

His hands were big compared to yours, he mentioned for you to sit down and asked if you wanted a drink.

You gladly accepted a drink and set down.

“So, what is it, that is so important, Mrs ?”, he asked and sat down behind his table.

“It’s Miss y/l/n. I work for your company in the United States and would like to move to Birmingham and work here for the company.”, you carefully said and watched as he thought about your offer.

“You worked with me cousin then, eh? Tell me, why did you want to leave the US?”, he asked curious. He couldn't remember Michael ever talking about you.

“With all respect, Mister Shelby, this is a private matter. You could say there were some disputes within your cousin and me. I really like my job and the work I do, that's why I don't want to resign, rather I would like to work here.”, you stated and took a sip from your glass.

“How long are you plan on staying in Birmingham for now?”, he asked.

“Well, I quit my flat and came here with all my belongings. I hoped that I could start right off and don't return to the US:”, you said and caught him being surprised.

“If that's so, I will make sure to decide quickly. Where are you staying?”, he drew out a pack of cigarettes and offered you one. You took it from his hands and slightly brushed your fingers against his hands.

If you wanted to get away from New York and the men there, you needed to play.

He lit you the lighter and came closer to you to light your cigarette for you.

“I am staying in the Midland Hotel, but I already talked to a few landlords and have an appointment to view an apartment.”, you looked at him and threw him a smile.

He leans back in his chair and watches you, he takes a long drag from his cigarette and blew out the smoke. You also lean back, crossed your legs and made sure that your skirt was slipping up a bit.

“You want to fuck me, Miss y/l/n?”, he asks.

You scoff and stand up.

“It was nice talking to you, Mister Shelby.”, you turn around and started walking towards the door. 

“I get tired of going through the same shit with different people.”, you say to yourself, but he heard you.

The door closed with a bang and Tommy is left with his thoughts, about the mysterious American woman. 

[thewayshedreamed]

Side Bar

An Elriel fic

This fic is set in the “This Time” Nessian AU— Starting with Elain’s birthday party from Part 3. Here’s the back story of those texts that haunted Elain, how the conversation with Azriel went, and mention of the eventual date that Nesta interrupted in Part 6 😉

You can catch up on This Time here!

A/N: It only took an eternity for me to finish this chapter. It’s the first thing I’ve posted that’s Elriel-centric, so I found myself deleting/re-writing to try and get it right. Eventually, I had to cut myself off and just put myself out there, so I hope y’all like how I’ve written them! Shoutout to @keshavomit and @acourtofmarauders whose comments inspired me to share this!!

——————————————————————————

Once Nesta dropped her off at her apartment post birthday breakfast, Elain drew herself a hot bubble bath. She hoped the warm water would ease her achy muscles and her unsteady nerves; both from the night before. It wasn’t that she had completely blacked out. She remembered the majority of the night, with only the time after her body started to succumb to exhaustion being a little fuzzy.

She lay back onto the back of the tub, taking a deep breath of eucalyptus scented bubbles and easing her eyes closed. She couldn’t help but reflect over the night, heart swelling with love for her family and friends who had truly made her 23rd birthday one to remember. It was increasingly rare that every one of them were able to get together on the same night, and she was feeling extra loved that they made it out just for her.

She had a few laughs to herself as the memories ran through her mind. She thought of her and Feyre dancing for hours, being joined by the others on and off throughout the night. Cassian grabbing her hand when Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” came through the speakers, spinning her around and singing loudly with her. Her friends keeping her drinks full and making her laugh. Being so excited that Nesta finally joined them for a couple of songs. Spinning into Azriel accidentally and hearing his deep laugh as he steadied her.

And just like that, her thoughts hanged on Azriel; like they always seemed to. She was no moron. She knew they had a natural sort of chemistry, but she always struggled to tell if he truly saw her that way or if he would ever be open to her. She was struck with a memory of him from the night before, something that hadn’t come back to her until now.

——————————————————————————

Somehow, she had ended up near the edge of the dance floor, semi-cornered near a table by Grayson. She remembered being so annoyed that he’d been there and even more annoyed that he was insisting on polite conversation. She wanted to yell at him that she knew he didn’t give a shit how she was doing and that he had no right to know after he’d wrecked her heart a couple of years prior. She wanted to swat at his hands when he would laugh and playfully touch her or reach for her. The alcohol in her system was begging her to do all of it, and she was almost completely convinced. Just one more touch or one more attempt at familiarity, and it was game over. She steeled herself, waiting, until a pair of arms wrapped gently around her waist from behind.

“There you are, love.” Azriel’s smooth, deep voice ran over her, and she relaxed immediately.

He was closer than usual, more affectionate. She realized the show they were supposed to be putting on, and she leaned into him. She rested her head back on his chest, and turned her chin way up to look into his face. He was looking down at her, mere inches away, with amusement sparkling in his hazel eyes.

“Hey,” she breathed, lamely, if she was being honest with herself. She felt the impression of cool glass in her hand and looked down.

”Sorry it took me so long to grab your drink. The bar was really backed up.”

She looked down at the half-empty glass in her hand. Definitely his existing drink. She decided to give him a little hell. Why not? They were pretending, anyway.

“Babe. It’s half-empty,” she pointed out through a laugh.

He narrowed his eyes at her playfully, telling her he knew she was being difficult. “I may or may not have gotten thirsty on my way back to find you.”

“Az, you remember Grayson.” She gestured toward her ex as she spoke. When he looked up, she noticed the tension in his jaw.

“Of course. How are you, man?” He released her waist with one hand, extending it toward Grayson. Grayson only looked at it, ignored it completely, and addressed Elain.

”Really? This guy? You’re better than that.” She felt Azriel tense behind her. Grayson gripped her upper arm, pulling her toward him. “You can’t be fucking serious, Elain. Guys like him are good for one thing. Maybe you can have a few good rolls around in the sheets, but you can’t honestly expect to settle down with a guy like him.”

All too quickly, Azriel’s large hand gripped Grayson’s wrist where he was holding Elain’s arm. There was a layer of darkness to his tone that Elain had never heard.

“Get your fucking hand off of her. Now.” He gripped Grayson harder in warning, but Grayson’s eyes stayed on Elain’s.

“Elain, come on,” Grayson said.

She was fuming. His company had been unwelcome from the beginning. He’d been far too comfortable entering her personal space. He had openly insulted Azriel on multiple levels. He was manhandling her. The words left her before she could stop them, the alcohol delighting that it finally got its way.

“Even if you’re right, he’s the best fuck I’ve ever had and has ruined me for anyone else. So allow me to indulge myself for as long as I feel like it,” she seethed.

Grayson’s eyes widened and quickly narrowed in anger. Nevertheless, his grip on her arm softened, and Azriel shoved his arm back toward his body. He shook his head and walked away, totally speechless.

“You okay, Ellie?” Azriel was in front of her now, looking down into her face. He was running the back of his fingers up and down her arms, and she cursed the goosebumps that erupted over her skin.

“Yeah. I really am. Thank you for coming over. You didn’t have to do that,” she said. She glanced up at him and watched his features soften when he realized she was serious. Shortly thereafter, he started laughing.

“Elain, you can’t just go around saying things like that about me. Word will travel, and I may not live up to people’s expectations,” he joked.

She groaned, feeling guilty that she had completed objectified him without his consent. She leaned into him, resting her forehead on his chest for a couple of seconds before looking at him again.

“I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t know what got into me. I just felt like humbling him a little, and I didn’t like how he was talking about you.”

Azriel laughed as he pulled her into a hug, his forearm braced around her neck.

“No apologies, Ellie. Come on. I owe you a drink; you know, a fresh one.”

——————————————————————————

Elain’s eyes popped open, and despite the heat of the bath water, she felt herself flush further at the memory. He hadn’t seemed bothered, but holy shit. Who would take it upon themselves to call someone “the best fuck they’ve ever had” when they’d never so much as hugged long enough to be considered intimate? Gods above.

She was obsessively thinking about her deleted messages again. She grabbed her phone off the side of the tub, hoping that when she opened her messages app, all of her texts would magically reappear. They didn’t, just as they hadn’t the other 15 times she’d done it that day.

She removed the plug from the bathtub, letting the water out and begging it to take all her memories along with it. She toweled off, put her lazy Sunday clothes on, and padded out of the bathroom.

She was startled by her phone ringing and dragging her back to the present. To her absolute horror, Azriel’s name flashed on her screen.

She steadied herself before she answered. She was glad to hear that her voice sounded as if she were a perfectly stable person.

“Hello?”

”Hey, Ellie. How you feeling today?” he teased.

Hungover. Fucking mortified.

”About how you would imagine,” she laughed. “What’s up?”

”I wanted to check in on you. And I wanted to see when you would have some free time to meet up. I still have your gift,” he explained.

Of course he’d gotten her a gift. Because he was wonderful. And she’d treated him like a glorified escort. She answered him before she lost her nerve.

”Oh. You didn’t have to do that, Az,” she paused. “What about now? You could come by?”

It took him a couple of seconds to respond. “Um, sure. Yeah. You know, it doesn’t have to be today, though. I didn’t mean to impose or anything.”

Shit. Was she too eager? To hell with it if she was. Waiting would kill her.

”You’re not! Really. I’m just being a bum on my couch today. I’d like the company,” she replied.

——————————————————————————

After about thirty minutes, Elain was convinced she was being stood up. Maybe he didn’t have the heart to tell her he wasn’t wanting to see her today. She was about to draft a text to him before she heard his knock on her apartment door.

“Come in!” she called. She had unlocked her door during her fitful pacing minutes ago.

He poked his head in before opening the door and stepping inside. The sunshine flowed into the apartment behind him, and for a second, she was almost convinced that he was superhuman. His dark hair was damp and brushed haphazardly to the side, and she couldn’t help thinking about how unfairly attractive he was. He was wearing a black v-neck with black jogger sweats, and his scent of cedar and mist washed over her as he plopped on her couch.

“You look way too alive and well today. Seems a little unfair,” she pouted.

He breathed a laugh as he turned toward her. “Some of us drank water throughout the night, birthday girl,” he teased as he tapped her nose with his index finger.

“Hey!” she exclaimed in faux annoyance. “I drank water. Maybe it was today, but I did.”

He tapped her knee with his hand, and she swore she felt it throughout her entire body.

”I’ll be nice. I’m here bearing gifts, after all,” he replied.

She thought back to the night before. The memory of their bit with Grayson, her deleted texts. She thought of Nesta’s words of advice that morning to ask him about the only remaining text she had: his reply. It was now or never, she supposed.

”Before you give me my present...” She bit her lip. “...can I talk to you?”

She watched his eyes land on her lips and jump immediately to her meet her stare. His brows furrowed in concern.

“Of course, Ellie. About anything. You okay?” His words, so similar to those he asked her last night, flooded her nerves all over again.

“I woke up this morning to a really confusing text from you. Not that what you said is confusing necessarily, but apparently, I deleted all of my texts last night. I must have done it right before you responded, so I have zero context to our conversation.” She could feel the heat of her blush on her chest, her neck, her face. She wanted to be literally anywhere else. She showed him the text for frame of reference.

Azriel: 😂 Not cool. You had me worried there for a minute, Ellie. Goodnight. Hope you enjoyed your birthday.

She watched his eyes scan the text, his lips spreading into a small smile. He wasn’t speaking soon enough for her liking.

”Oh. That. We had been texting a little at the table right before you left, but at some point between you standing to leave and getting home, you sent me this.” He scrolled through his phone until he landed on her message. He turned it to her so that she could read it for herself.

Ellie: I’m v mad at you Az

Another one, several minutes later.

Ellie: Nvm talked to Nessie. We’re good. Night 😘

Cauldron, Elain. Kiss emoji, really?

The only other message was his response that she’d already shown him.

She shook her head. “I have no idea what that’s about. What was I saying before that?”

Now it was Azriel’s turn to blush, the tips of his ear turning a faint pink. “Oof. I don’t know if sober me feels as bold as the drunk me in those. I think I’ll just keep those tucked away.”

She blinked at him and his nerve to insinuate he was going to keep them from her.

“Azriel Spion. You better show me those texts.”

”Mm. Don’t think I will, Elain Archeron.” His blush spread to his cheeks.

She lunged for his phone, but he dodged her at the last second. He lifted it into the air out of her reach, her body sprawled across his lap. Elain with less adrenaline would have been mortified to find herself there, but this was critical information. She pushed herself back onto her knees, reaching for the phone in his outstretched hand. He evaded her yet again.

”Why are you so giant? For the love of the Mother, just let me see!” she exclaimed.

”No! It’s not my fault you deleted yours,” he retorted.

She knew she would never be able to overpower him, and he was too stubborn for her to talk him into giving in. She landed on torture, hoping it would work in her favor.

She stopped reaching for his phone and instead turned her hands to his torso. His position left his underarms wide open, and she took her chance, hoping he was ticklish. Otherwise, this would only be even more awkward than it already was.

To her absolute delight, Azriel yelped in surprise. He immediately snapped his arms to his sides as he tried, and failed, to hold back his loud laugh. He tried to move away or grip her hands, but doing so would mean he would have to shift his arms. His body wouldn’t allow it.

“Elain!” he bellowed. “Stop it. I said STOP.” He let out another loud belly laugh, and Elain fell a little bit harder at the sound. It was one of the most precious things she had ever seen. Azriel, who was always so reserved, so dry, letting out such a loud, deep laugh felt like an honor to witness.

”Not until you show me those texts! They’re just as much mine as there are yours!” She had to raise her voice over his laughter, the words coming out through laughter of her own.

“You didn’t keep yours,” he said through clenched teeth between laughs. “Not. My. Problem.”

She pushed her fingers in a little harder, and he yelped again, dissolving into laughter once more.

“Fine! Alright!” he yelled. “You win!”

He tossed his phone on the cushion behind her. She stopped immediately to retrieve it, leaving Azriel spent and gasping for breath next to her.

“You tiny, brutal woman,” he breathed, eyes locked on her.

She waved him off, scrolling up through his messages to the beginning of last night’s conversation. The first messages were mild enough. She thanked him for her birthday drink, for saving her from that conversation with Grayson, for humoring her with a slow dance despite the fact that he wasn’t one to dance much. His responses were polite and friendly, barely on the flirtatious side. She was about to toss his phone into his lap and call him dramatic before her eyes landed on a message that sent her pulse through the roof.

Ellie: That feels nice. Thank you 😊

A: Anything for the birthday girl.

Ellie: I mean, I can’t believe everyone hasn’t offered to play with my hair. Seems a little rude.

A: Very. I guess you’ll have to get new friends.

Ellie: Except you. You have to stay 💕

A: Like I said, anything for you.

She shot her gaze up to look at Azriel. He was watching her with the focus of a surgeon, scanning her face for any reaction. She was doing the same to him. She had a vague, fuzzy memory of sitting next to him in their booth for a portion of the night and assumed that’s when these had occurred. They had likely resorted to texting considering their friends’ nosiness. There were more messages, the time stamp about thirty minutes later.

Ellie: Stop being so nice to me. I’m going to fall in love with you.

A: Promise?

Ellie: 😅 Very funny. You’ve been warned.

The rest were the ones she’d already read about how she was mad at him, whatever that meant. She could hear her own heartbeat; feel her blood pressure in her gums. She knew her blush was at an embarrassing level, and she had to take a couple of deep breaths before she looked at him again. He was still looking at her, an almost pained expression on his face.

She cleared her throat. “So. Did you?”

”Did I what?”

”Stop being nice to me,” she murmured.

”No.”

She locked his phone and handed it back to him as she settled into the cushions. She wanted so badly to close the distance between them, but she knew she’d already pushed him beyond his comfort zone. His answer spoke volumes if she was interpreting him correctly, but she was terrified to find out. She decided to stay the course, keeping the focus on her deleted messages.

“I guess I should check in with Nes. Just to see what I was mad about,” she said quietly.

”I talked to her this morning,” he murmured.

Her eyes locked on his yet again.

”And are you going to tell me?”

”Do I have a choice? You’ll torture it out of me otherwise,” he joked. She was grateful for the laughter as a break in the tension. He cleared his throat.

“You told Nesta you were mad at her, too. When she asked why, you told her it was because she and I are such close friends,” he said. He glanced at her, giving her a chance to react.

“Why would I care about that now? I only know you because of your friendship.” She was so tired of being lost, of being the only one who didn’t know what was happening.

His voice remained quiet and even, as if speaking any louder may scare her away. “You told her it was because I would never look at you. Because you’re her little sister and I was considerate and wouldn’t want to make her mad.”

She swallowed thickly, hoping she looked more put together than she actually was. “And what did she say that made me so quick to drop it?”

That evoked a small laugh and the sound of it made her want to curl into him. “That I’m not scared of her in the slightest,” he began. “And that I was basically the only person she would find worth of you.” His blush deepened as he finished.

She nodded, processing his words. Her mouth was dry, and she was totally speechless. The distance between them was almost painful now, but she was so terrified to make him uncomfortable and potentially ruin their comfortable friendship.

He shifted on her couch, scooting a little closer to her. She was still facing him, her legs curled under her and her elbow settled on the back of the couch. She propped her head on her fist and fixed her gaze on his thigh, an inch away from her knees.

“When I told Nesta that I’d deleted my texts, she told me to talk to you. That you would be understanding.” She glanced up at him. “I basically bit her head off. But it’s because she knew without a doubt that you would understand, isn’t it?”

”She’s known for a long time how I feel, Ellie. Without me having to say a word.”

All she could do was nod. He shifted forward, turning his attention back to the reason he’d come over.

”Az, you really didn’t have to—“ he interrupted her my lifting a scarred finger.

”None of that. I wanted to, and I did.” He placed an envelope in her lap as he ran his hand through his damp hair.

She opened it, scanning small documents inside to figure out what he had gifted her. Two tickets to see the Velaris Philharmonic Orchestra. One of the first true conversations they’d had, she shared with him that she wanted to go one day. With the hustle and bustle of life and the expenses that came with it, she’d never gotten around to it.

True to her sensitive spirit, tears brimmed her lower eyelids. She was so touched that he remembered but simultaneously felt guilty that he’d spent so much on a gift for her.

“You can invite who you want to. I know Nesta has wanted to go, but you can bring a friend, too. I just wanted to make sure you had company. It didn’t feel right to give you a gift where you’d have to go alone.” Her heart melted at his rambling. Azriel never showed his nerves, and he had let that wall down for her several times today.

“Azriel.” She glanced at him, willing him to look at her again. His elbows were resting on his knees and he’d been staring straight ahead as he spoke. He finally turned his head toward her, his onyx hair brushing across his brow. She leaned forward, resting her chin on his shoulder as she took in his elegant bone structure.

“Thank you. I love it more than you know,” she whispered.

His eyes lit up at her words, and her chest squeezed at how much joy it brought him to make her happy. His eyes fell to her lips, and she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she watched him wet his own. He brought a scarred hand up to cup her cheek and pulled her face even closer to his, using his thumb to pull her lip from her teeth. She gasped softly, and he pressed his full lips softly to hers. She leaned into him, letting out a small whimper when his grip tightened slightly on her cheek.

Something shifted in him at hearing her whimper into his mouth, and he sat up to orient his body toward hers. He deepened the kiss, then hooked his hand behind her knee to pull her over his lap. She settled into him, moving her hips against his, and he let out a low groan as she moved.

She pulled back from his kiss to look at him, still a little in disbelief that this is where their day had taken them. She ran her fingers through his hair and watched as his eyes fluttered shut. He let out the most indecent moan, and it took everything she had not to slant her mouth over his again.

“What are you doing Thursday?” she asked.

His eyes popped open, still a little glazed over from the heat between them. His hands were under her sweater, thumbs tracing small circles over her ribs.

“No plans, why?”

”A very dear friend of mine gifted me two tickets to see the orchestra, and I’d really like to take you on a date, if that’s okay.”

He smiled at her, his eyes turning up at the corners as he looked at her. “I would say I feel bad for the guy, but there’s no way I’m missing that,” he replied, his lips brushing hers as he spoke. “I’ll be sure to pull out my best suit.”

Her returning smile was so broad, it almost hurt. “Perfect. I can’t wait,” she whispered as she started to rock her hips once more. His lips crashed into hers then, their conversation over for the time being.

Before she lost herself in him completely, she had one fleeting thought as she reflected over their earlier words. “So, did you?”— “Did I what?”— “Stop being nice to me.”— “No.”

It looked like he was hell bent on keeping it that way, and she knew she was beyond screwed.

She was already in love with Azriel Spion, and even still, he was never going to stop being nice to her.

——————————————————————————

Well, there it is! A brief timeline note: Nesta’s phone call falls on that Thursday, during their post-date sleepover. I hope y’all enjoyed it!

Tags (This Time taglist + masterlist):

@polireader // @lord-douglas-the-third // @justgiu12 // @notyournymphetish // @sjm-things // @strangeenemy // @iammissstark // @keshavomit // @sjmships // @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks // @dusty-lightbulb // @texas-shaped-waffle-maker // @julemmaes // @charincharge // @superspiritfestival // @awesomelena555 // @sleeping-and-books // @hizqueen4life // @maastrash // @bookstantrash // @rhyswhitethorn // @grace-k-sterling // @sayosdreams // @sis-it-dont-add-up // @b00kworm // @courtofjurdan // @sannelovesreading // @acourtofmarauders // @candice-dick-fit-in-your-mouth // @gisellefigue08 // @girl-who-reads-the-books

[no-whump-on-main]

Apartment 307-5

TWs: Parental grief, implied death of a child, mention/recount of torture

Sunday night was cold and dark; large, gray clouds hung in the near-black sky, joined by the splatter of shining stars. It was going to rain soon. Even if it did, Jodie Larkin didn’t care. She was busy desperately trying to get a hold of Demetrios. The end of November was in sight, the air far too frigid for one to be outside without a coat, but Jodie was out on her porch in a dress and sandals anyways, too frantic to bother changing out of her Sunday best. She paced back and forward as she held her phone up to her ear, praying the man on the other end of the line would pick up. He didn’t the first time she called, nor the second, nor the third, but she was too worried to give up and leave him alone for the night.

Finally, on the last ring of the fourth call, just when she had begun to lose hope, a familiar, deep voice spoke through the phone’s speakers.

“Hello? Is everything alright, Jodie?” Demetrios asked, his tone softening with worry. It was unusual for her to call several times in a row, especially so late in the evening on a Sunday. It was nearly ten o’clock.

From her porch, Jodie sighed heavily with relief, gently rubbing her temples.

“Hi! Hi, thank god. I’m so sorry to be bothering you. I was just-Oh, god, I think something is wrong. I-when was the last time you saw Elora? She was meant to be here for dinner four hours ago. I tried calling her, but her phone went straight to voicemail, and my texts won’t go through, either. I know it’s only been a couple hours, but it’s weird, you know? I’m worried. I thought it was strange when she didn’t text me about her day or anything yesterday, either. She usually does when she goes out and does fun things. So there’s that, and now she just didn’t show up, and it’s worrying me. God, I’m rambling, I-” she paused, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry. It’s a parental thing, you get it. I just wanted to know the last time you heard from her.”

In his home, Demetrios sat in a leather recliner, his expression slowly becoming troubled as he listened to Jodie’s frantic rambling. His wife, Lucia, sat a few feet away from him on the couch, a blanket tossed over her legs and a book nestled in her lap. She could faintly hear the conversation through Demetrios’ phone, though, and closed her book upon hearing that something was wrong with Elora, setting it to the side as she stood and walked towards him. He motioned for her to hold on, clearing his throat.

“I saw her leaving the bakery Friday night,” he explained calmly. “I offered to drive her home, and she refused, like always. You’ve raised a headstrong girl, Jodie. Look, I’m sure everything is alright. She probably got caught up with friends or nature or a sewing project. I’ll let you know if she doesn’t come into work tomorrow, alright? I’m sure she’s fine. She’s more than likely just making the most out of her last couple months as a teenager and being a delinquent.”

He chuckled, the familiar sound calming Jodie’s nerves. She sighed deeply, nodding to herself. She knew he couldn’t see her; the action was to reassure herself, more than anything.

“You know, you’re probably right. I just...worry about her. She’s my whole family, you know? Just call me as soon as you can in the morning, alright?”

Demetrios sounded sympathetic. He knew, better than anyone, what it was like to lose a child. Only, he knew the pain of losing one forever, not just for a few worrisome hours.

“Of course.”

“Thank you again. I don’t know what we’d do without you. Sorry for being so frazzled. You know how I am.” Jodie chuckled awkwardly.

“It’s normal to worry, Jodie. She’s still your baby even though she’s growing up. You have a good night, okay? Get some sleep. I’ll call you in the morning.”

She nodded, again, for her own reassurance. “Right. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Jodie hung up the phone and headed inside, sighing deeply. She kicked her shoes off and headed into her bedroom, deciding to take Demetrios’ advice and relax. Get some sleep.

This would all just be a funny story in the morning. Elora would come home and she’d scold her and then everything would be okay. She plugged in her phone and rolled over, facing away from it. The house felt scarily empty, the same way it had for months since Elora had moved out. Only tonight, it felt even emptier than normal.

Five text messages were left sent, but not delivered, on her phone.

11/29/18 6:15 PM: You’re late! Hurry up, kiddo, lasagna’s getting cold.

11/29/18 6:42 PM: You okay? Call me.

11/29/18 7:27 PM: Please call me.

11/29/18 8:59 PM: What’s up? Where are you?

11/29/18 9:36 PM: I love you, E. Please call me as soon as you see this. Love you.

“What was that all about?” Lucia asked, her hands on her hips and her brow furrowed with worry. Whatever it was, it didn’t sound good.

“It was Jodie,” Demetrios explained. “Elora didn’t show up to dinner and her phone’s going to voicemail. She’s worried, but I think she’d probably just sidetracked with something. Or partying. I don’t know. She’s still practically a kid and I gave her a free weekend. She could be getting into all sorts of things.”

Lucia nodded, considering for a moment. “I’m sure she’s fine. I wouldn’t worry until tomorrow. But it’s natural for Jodie to worry, she’s her only baby and she just moved out. We’re both working the morning shift tomorrow. I’ll try to reassure her.”

“You’re an angel, you know what?” Demetrios smiled.

Lucia leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, smiling back. “I’m going to bed. Goodnight, I love you.”

Demetrios nodded. “I’ll be up in a few minutes.”

With that, Lucia nodded and walked off.

Eventually, Demetrios joined her in bed, and the pair slept peacefully, curled up with each other in a messy tangle of limbs. Together, just the way they liked it.

~

Somewhere far away, Elora was sleeping, too. Or at least trying to. She couldn’t get comfortable, surrounded by walls of hard ceramic and chains and blood. So much blood. She assumed that today, Sunday, had been the man’s day off, because he’d spent what felt like the whole day with her, only giving her a reprieve after hours of what she could only describe as torture. Her head was still pounding from the night before, but he didn’t seem to care, as he shouted at her again and again about that stupid little aloe plant. He still wanted her to grow it, but she wouldn’t give in. Couldn’t. She needed to be strong. At first, he’d just slap her, then ask again, but after a bright red handprint from repeated impact was clear across her cheek, he moved on, bringing back the pocket knife. He cut her across her arm, again and again, then went back and dug his fingernails into the gashes. She thrashed and cried, but still didn’t give in, for the whole day. Now, though, she almost wished she had. The dull sting in her arm was a constant, bitter reminder of her defiance, and one of the only sensations she had in the dark room. She couldn’t see an inch in front of her face in the darkness, but she could feel the sting. And the throb from her thigh. Constantly.

She stared up at the ceiling, trying to stop the tears from welling up. She didn’t know why she kept trying to hold them back; they always came and slid down her face, anyways, no matter how hard she tried. Maybe it was just the shred of dignity she had left, begging to be held on to.

It was cold in the bathroom. There were no windows for heat from the sun to seep through, and she wasn’t sure if the apartment even had a formal heating system. If it did, the man wasn’t turning it on. It was cold enough to amplify her misery, but not actually harm her. Probably intentional.

She didn’t actually fall asleep for a long time. She rotated around near-constantly, trying to get somewhat comfortable to absolutely no avail. There was no way to position herself without agitating something. Her aching head, her stinging arm, her sore thigh-one always screamed out in complaint from the way she laid.

When her eyes finally did shut and her breathing became even, it was more of passing out from exhaustion than true sleep.

Still, that night, she dreamed of her mother. Her mind painted a vivid picture of the two of them picking apples at an orchard together, the rows and rows of trees bringing about the most poignant feeling of peace. The breeze was soft, the fall weather still just warm enough to wear her favorite shorts. In the morning, she would wake up with a sad sense of longing, wishing it had been real, but for the moment, she was happy.

~

Demetrios got ready for work just like normal the next morning. He hardly even remembered the conversation he had with Jodie the past night, paying it little mind. He was certain that Elora would come into work like normal, perhaps a little hungover, and he’d be able call her mother and assure her of her safety.

And so he kissed Lucia on the forehead and drove to the bakery, dressed in his usual uniform of khakis, a t-shirt, and an apron that had seen many years of stains. He pulled into the parking lot in his spot, unlocked the front door, and began opening like he always did. He cleaned, prepared ingredients for the day, filled the cases-everything like normal. They didn’t open until 8, and it was still only 7:30 by the time he finished preparing everything for the day. He didn’t worry.

He started watching the window around 7:40. He was sitting behind the register, with a clear view of the parking lot. He was sure he’d see Elora walk through the doors.

Three of his other employees came through the front door between 7:40 and 8:00, smiling and waving obliviously.

But Elora never came. She usually came in right around 7:50, but there was still no sign of her by 8:00 when they opened.

Maybe she was just late. He tried to convince himself of that, but when 9:00 came and he’d been acting so nervously that even the regulars noticed it, he knew he had to call Jodie.

He ducked outside quickly before any employees could question for him, anxiously tapping his foot against the deck. Pulling out his cell phone, he dialed Jodie, breathing deeply. It was going to hurt to tell her this.

Jodie answered on the second ring, clearly having been waiting for him to call. She stepped out into the hallway, away from all the rooms, praying that Demetrios was calling because Elora just got in a little late and a little disheveled.

She spoke first, hope potent in her voice. “Hello? Is she there?”

Demetrios sucked in a breath. “No. I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened, but I’ll help you figure it out, alright? Lucia and I will. We care about her, too. You’re family and we’re gonna figure this out, okay?”

It felt like a few years of her life force was sucked out of her when she heard the answer. No. Your daughter isn’t here, Jodie, she could be somewhere, anywhere, hurt or dead or worse.

She wanted to break down, she really did, But she had patients to tend to. And so she shoved down the pain, compartmentalized it into a little box and set it to the side to be dealt with later. All she could offer was a tiny squeak of acknowledgment, not wanting to speak too much for fear of bursting into tears right then and there.

She hung up the phone before Demetrios could say anything else. When she turned around, prepared to head back into the ward and continue her rounds, she found that Lucia had followed her out.

Lucia didn’t even have to ask her. Jodie just shook her head. Lucia frowned, then stepped forward, putting a gentle, reassuring hand on her back.

Jodie rested her head on Lucia’s shoulder and sobbed.

“What if no one finds her?” she asked between cries, shaking her head. “It’s not like her. It’s not-no one has seen her since Friday.”

Lucia rubbed her back lightly, shushing her gently. “After our shift, we can go down to the police station and file a report together, okay? It’s gonna be okay, Jodie, I promise.”

The other woman sniffled and held back another sob. Your job, Jodie.

She nodded, her chest heaving with a heavy breath as she leaned into Lucia. Their shift was another nine hours, they were losing time, she was losing time, she was losing her daughter-

She swallowed and nodded.

“Okay.”

Tags: @exploringspaceinpyjamas

[goldenncherrybombb]

Adore You

The one where Harry gets lost and y/n tries to help

Series Masterlist 

Masterlist 

He’s late, again. Of fucking course he’s late! When the hell isn’t he? I love him, I do. But it’s time like these where she questions it nowadays. I don’t know where it went wrong. We were inseparable, so loving. We were perfect. But then it’s like a flip got switched. Harry’s always out in the studio, with friends, or at writing sessions, or meetings, or whatever the fuck else he has. We had a date planned tonight. We have had this date planned for a bloody month! And he’s an hour late. An HOUR.

I get up and leave, embarrassed with heated cheeks and a frown. I don’t know how much more I can take of this. First it was dinner with my mom, then it was a writing session that was mandatory and made me and everyone else waste our time because Harry was too hungover to show up, and so many more instances. I just, I don’t understand what happened. We barley talk in the day anymore, we used to talk for hours and now we say little to each other. Harry was so cuddly in bed, but now he turns his back.

I shove my key into the lock and twist it harshly, opening and then slamming the door. A note on the mirror above the small table with a dish for our keys, and other trinkets from traveling, caught her eye quickly. It read ‘be back later- h.’ Not even an ‘Xx’ HE ALWAYS DOES THAT.

Me not knowing why he’s suddenly being cold is making me crazy. I’m beginning to feel insecure and maybe think he thinks I’m ugly. But that wouldn’t make since because we had sex yesterday. Maybe he just plain out doesn’t like me and is pretending because he is trying to find a way to let me down easily. He’s probably so revolted by me he doesn’t even want to be friends.

I grab a pillow from the bed and throw it at the wall aimlessly while letting out a loud ‘fuck.’ I had a little anger fit, then I got sad and just wanted to cry and go back to a few months ago where they always went out, made songs together, went shopping, etc.

So she gets up and packs her bags. Thankful she never sold her house, but not thankful that it’s down the road from here. Only reason she kept the house was because it would be too much of a hassle to put on the market with her job and how much she travels. Plus it was one of her homes and she loved it. Somehow fitting all of her clothes into her suitcases. Then she got everything else into duffle bags and normal bags. She did leave some stuff behind, like a shirt, her favorite mug, and her perfume. The little things slipped her mind and all she cared about was Harry. He was always on her mind, will probably always be even though they won’t be together after today, or on a break. Y/n’s not sure what to tell him. She doesn’t want to break up with him. Not at all. But she can’t put herself through this, and she can’t put him through it either because whatever he has going on needs to be delt with, and y/n can only help so much. She has tried to get him of the black pit he has seemed to fall in. But nothing worked. And she knows from experience that no one can make you truly feel better than yourself. When she felt so damn lost in high school, and didn’t know who she was, what she wanted to do, how she was gonna get to her goal, she fell into a pit of sadness.

Everyone tried to help, but it seemed like nothing would. But then she got into music even more. She had already loved music before hand, already somewhat invested in it. But she wasn’t looking into it as something she would want to pursue. But then she learned how to play her first instrument, and it lead to another, and another, until she could make a band by herself. It all came naturally to her. Her fingers knowing where every note is as she didn’t even need sheet music to play a full song. Just needed to hear the beginning. And that brought her out if it, the girl had finally found out what she wanted to do after all. And her supporting friends and family all told her she would go somewhere today. And look where she is today! Writing her first album.

Once all her bags were in the car she cleaned up the house and laid on the bed, exhausted, she stared at the ceiling and got lost in her own thoughts. She didn’t know how long it had been but Harry was home and the sun was fully set. He didn’t even call out for her, didn’t say a word. She knew it was him because she could see him pull into the driveway.

“Hey.” She said when Harry walked in the room.

“Hello, why aren’t your keys in the bowl? Thought you weren’t home before I saw your car behind the house.” Because they are in my pocket, and I am so fucking scared to tell you what she was about to. Is what she thinks, but she replies calmly.

“Oh, I must’ve misplaced em.” She shrugs, trying her best to not show how nervous she was. He hums and goes into the bathroom. Y/n can see him from the bed and watches as he swings mouthwash in his mouth. “Harry, can I talk to you?” She questions timidly.

“Sure, give me a second.” She nods and looks down at her fingers, picking at her nails. Once he’s done he sits in front of her on the king bed.

“What’s wrong?” He questions, sounding worried.

“I don’t know how to even start a conversation like this.” She whispers brokenly, her voice catching towards the end as she already feels her eyes well up. “I love you Harry. But you are not the Harry I know.” She looks up slowly, his head hanging lower at his words, knowing shes right. “You have changed. And I know people change, and change can be good, but this isn’t. If you don’t like me anymore please spare me my breath and tell me.” He immediately shakes his head and immediately replies with a ‘that’s not true. ‘Course I like you.’ She grabs his hand in a moment of desperation and looks at him with a broken soul. “Then tell me what it is. Please. I can not do this anymore. It’s tearing me down, h. And I can not stand to see you hurt yourself. You don’t think I notice the taste of whiskey on your tongue? Gum doesn’t hide everything. I’m not saying you can’t drink I’m just saying it’s not making you feel better if that is why you are doing it. I don’t know what to do, Harry. I really don’t. You don’t ever show up to anything we have planned anymore, you rarely say I love you unless we are fucking, you just- you disappeared almost.” Tears stream down her face but she wipes them away harshly.

“I feel lost, y/n. So fuckin’ lost. I don’t know who I am anymo’” He has tears building in his eyes, his shoulders slumping in defeat. The first sob breaks from him when he begins to speak again. “I read everythin’ people say about me. I used to not, but I saw one bloody article on m’browser an’I clicked it, an’ then another and another. I got in my own head, got lost. And I think, ‘am I really the man they say I am?’ Its- it’s driving me mad I feel this way because I have everything I could ever want. I feel like I give everyone my all. But it’s never enough. They don’t know me, but yet they write these harsh things.”

“Harry, Prince Charming, please look at me.” She says quietly, tears streaming down her face. “Honey, do not give a damn about what they say. Because you are you at the end of the day. They only get to see a small snipped out of your day. Not the whole 24 hours. So fuck what they have to say!” Her voice raises some as she speaks passionately, always hating the tabloids. She sighs lightly and looks him in the eyes. “Know I love you so damn much. I will always love you. Always. You are always enough. We have been through so many things for so many years. You are my first love.” She speaks with a sniffle at the end, their hands intertwined. “I just- you need to find yourself. You have become someone I don’t know anymore, h. You need to work on you. Get in the right headspace. We need to take a break.” I whisper the last part after a brief pause and with a broken heart, not wanting to say the words, but needing to. They say you gotta let the ones you love go and now it’s my turn to do that. “I will always love you Harry. You were my first love. But how can you love me if you can’t love yourself? We have always told eachother one thing we will will never do, and that is hold the other back. I feel like I’m holding you back and I said I will let you go, and today is the day I am doing that. I can’t hold you back. There is so much more of your mind that neither of us have yet got to discover, find that, because once you do it’s beautiful. You need to get out there and see the world. Sure you have traveled everywhere, but you need to really see it. Get out of the big cities, find small shops you love. You need to find yourself, bub. I will be there, watching and helping when needed if you will allow me too. But for now, we need space. You have your career I have mine, and we can’t hold eachother back from that. ” Her hand goes on his cheek, him leaning into her touch. Both of them still have tears flowing down there face and stuffy noses, but neither care because both of them know this will be the last time they see eachother for awhile. She smiles at him one last time before standing and walking out of the room quietly.

“Please don’t go. I will change, promise yeh. Please, y/‘n. Let me adore and love you like it’s the only thing I will ever do.” his voice breaks as he speaks and sniffles in between. She cries harder when she hears him. He looks so sad and she looks the same. Both of them an emotional mess.

“We both know this is for the better.” She pauses for a second and closes her eyes to collect herself before opening them and looking back at him. “ I love you. Never forget that please. Never forget our friendship. I’m always here for you, together or not. This is not a goodbye, it’s a see you later.” Her hand slips from the door as Harry watches the love of his life walk always and he does nothing about it. Knowing it is better for her because his actions are hurting her and breaking her down and he couldn’t pay attention before to notice. He was furious at himself.

Once the door shut and her car drove down the driveway for the last time did he let himself truly sob. His face in the pillow as he wished he could take back everything he missed, all the times he was snippy, all of the bad.