#i am doing it to hold myself accountable

[allylikethecat]

January OTP Prompts

Big news, its day two and I haven't given up on this January prompt list situation thing yet. Therefore, I am going to continue to attempt to write 500 words every day for the month of January, each little drabble based on the corresponding prompt. Hopefully I can keep it up!

2. New beginnings

“It’s perfect,” Matty whispered in awe, spinning in a circle as he stood in the empty space that would eventually be their family room. He could picture it clearly in his mind’s eye. Their well loved leather sofa, the heavy knit blanket from George’s mother tossed along the back, the two of them tucked together with their feet on the coffee table, the TV turned down low, neither of them bothering to give it any mind. 

Maybe they would get a cat, or another dog, or what was most likely, a goldfish. George had revoked Matty’s pet privileges ages ago when they realized that their regular lifestyle, recording then touring, then repeating the entire process wasn’t conducive for having a pet, especially not one that weighed nearly as much as Matty himself. 

The old house had been fine, objectively, but the new house, chosen together and then renovated was the chance for the first of many new beginnings. The space uninhabited by the ghosts of their previous home. Screaming fights in the kitchen, the side door slamming shut as George left to clear his head. Matty unconscious in the upstairs bathroom, his lips turning blue as his heart beat slowed. They had moved out of the master bedroom and into the guestroom. Matty hadn’t stepped foot in the master suite in the four years since that night and George didn’t blame him, the hair on the back of his own neck standing up whenever he was forced to confront the room. 

The new house was a long overdue fresh start, the new beginning, the new chapter, the first page of their new lives together. 

“You’re perfect,” said George knowing he sounded ridiculously sappy, but unable to bring himself to care, tugging Matty into his arms, the diamond on his finger flashing in the natural light streaming through the large bay windows. Another fresh start, another new beginning, making official what he should have years ago. Maybe the house was the second page of their new beginning, maybe the ring was the first. Matty’s eyes went wide when they closed on the house, and he stepped into the since renovated kitchen, George down on one knee, his voice shaking as he asked are you finally making an honest man out of me? 

Matty scoffed, his eyes bright. “And that my dear, is why I’m the one in charge of the lyrics.” He teased, rehashing an argument that they had been having for years, Matty unable to see himself the way that George did. 

He focused on the gray in his hair, the crinkles around his eyes, the scars on his body, the mistakes that he had made the way he had been beat down, chewed up and spit out. He didn’t see himself the way that George did, he didn’t see the life, the signs of a life lived, the perseverance of always getting back up, clawing his way back to his feet when anyone else would have given up and stayed down. To George he was perfect, each flaw Matty pointed out a reminder that Matty was real, that he was still here in George’s arms, his heart beating into a new beginning. 

Day: 1

[lesquatrechevrons]

I will work on the work presentation

I will work on the work presentation

I will work on the work presentation

I will—

[theminecraftbee]

every time i exit like, an exchange writing period, and i no longer have a deadline, i start to become dizzy with "i should be writing right now--no writing??? i do NOT need to be writing right now??? cannot be right?????? writing??????"

anyway i've decided to use a poll to make you all into people who can create a deadline for me (and also i've started using habitica and want to try to write a LITTLE daily). there's no guarantee this is the one i'll actually go with given i've asked this like SIX TIMES in the past few months but this time it is a poll and also this time i'm trying to start writing daily again, so maybe this time it'll stick, idk??? so:

[whumpbby]

TBH I do think some Jiang disciples did survive the Lotus Pier massacre, if only because they had been elsewhere when it happened/too old or too young to fight so they ran (<-which could be a fun thing to grapple with for both the potential run-aways and newly recruiting Jiang Cheng, who was sent away), but it still wasn't enough people to be called Great Sect. So I think as you say they recruited anyone they could, including some rouge cultivators and some from smaller sects that were destroyed or taken over by the Wen Sect. I don't think they tried to recruit - while the Sunshot campaign was going - a lot of people without active golden core, because they would simply have little time to train them between the battles. Some probably did manage to join the Sect like that, and these would probably grow quite close to people who taught them between the fights.

Also Jiang Cheng having to be at least one of these teachers, because they are short on the disciples but shorter in those trained in Jiang style even more so. And how after the war he must've been doing that still, on top of having the sect to run as both Leader and Head Discipline (because Wei Wuxian was going through things he chose to neither explain or acknowledge) (1/2)

(2/2) Also Jiang Cheng, who almost had to watch his brother get caught by the Wen soldiers when he went off alone in the streets, WOULD try and make his disciples work in big enough groups to protect themselves. Also also Jiang Cheng that seems to go off alone rather often.

Oh, and Jiang Cheng throwing his weight around when his disciples get into some sort of disagreement/scuffle every time, and being harsh on the other party (totally not because of finally being able to shield someone he cares for) and never satisfying the questions about the punishment (totally not because of his mother and Zidian and Wei Wuxian). Even when Jiang disciples were in the wrong. Not meaning there was no disciplinary action, just that it never went outside the sect.

Also taking in some non-cultivators that are good at other things (like Jiang Yanli!) or people who lost their golden cores but can still fight and teach (because he remembers not having a golden core and how that felt like; and maybe he realises somewhere along the way that he might've been able to live without one too; which would certainly add even more flavour to learning whose golden core really was inside him all along).

The latter headcanon is also so amazing because resurrected Wei Wuxian would have to confront how he dealt with the loss of his core and finally stop saying he is fine and reflect on his feelings about all this, including Jiang Cheng

____________________________________________________

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me :D I am so absolutely taken over by this subject!

This is why I'm writing these things, I love to discuss them with other peeps:)

Your message pushed me onto another path of wild speculation via the mention of the other smaller sects that JC would approach to recruit - and that pushed me into the economics of Jinaghu and their influence on the post-war lay of the landXD

Which I am putting under the cut, because it's a lot of rambling to get to a point, but that's how it is in these parts;]

Also, the map I will be using, because it's as good as any other:

From the beginning - smaller sects yes, there was probably not a shortage of them that were destroyed by the Wen passing through and by the blowback of the war happening at all. I imagine that anyone from lone survivors to whole families was displaced…

But I am unsure if inviting them in would be a good idea in JC's position, because, going back to the main point - the Jiang were decimated. I can only go by what the story tells us when it doesn't mention any extra survivors - the Wen banning other sects from night-hunts was a nifty set-up for everyone being stuck at home after all - even if, logically, some of the disciples could be in other locations… however, even if they were, these wouldn't be the meat of Yunmeng Jiang. Because…

…random tangent no 1, because this is a low-fantasy setting (thinking of Game of Thrones I am), I am structuring the Sects as Just Gentry. Maybe not kingdoms outright - because there doesn't seem to be enough land between them to cover for their economic statuses - but city-states ruled by aristocratic bloodlines with the actual political power in their hands. Thus, even if the book doesn't really go into it, I'd wager that the region of Yunmeng was run by the extended Jiang family that was living in the capital of Lotus Pier. That's where the disciples were trained - but that was most likely also where the taxes were being collected, where the trade arrangements happened, where the law was being written, higher education took place, it had the best restaurants, etc.

When the Wen destroyed Lotus Pier, they did away with the whole socio-economic and political setup of the region, which is a smart move for someone who wants to set up their own shop.

…And that circles me back to JC and recruiting - he wasn't just gathering disciples to fight, he was rebuilding a whole intricate system of governance from scratch. A system that used to be run by the extended family that he could trust - now was something he was staffing with strangers.

And, from the example of Su Minshan, we know how jumping sects was considered to be in bad taste - it stands to reason that whatever decimated sect showed up on JC's doorstep, they wouldn't want to give up their own name. Just like JC wasn't going to give up his name. These people would be looking for an alliance and revenge, and, most likely, economic help in their own rebuilding, but most of them weren't looking to join the Jiang. And if they were - what was the guarantee that they'd stay? Or that they wouldn't use JC to meet their own ends and leave him worse for it? Or simply take over due to sheer numbers? A valid fear for a clan of 1 that had to seem ripe for picking.

I think JC would be very careful about accepting disciples from existing sects as his own, and instead build alliances with them. A rogue cultivator or a promising youth looking for a place to settle were a safer bet to build the core of his new sect with. Not to say that some of these alliances wouldn't result in the smaller sects merging into the Jiang later on by osmosis, but not at the outset…

Which leads me to believe that JC would want to start taking in and training coreless youths as soon as humanly possible - just to have someone at his back who was OF Yunmeng Jiang and not just allied with them. Maybe not during the beginning of the war, but by the time Lotus Pier was reclaimed things were probably going this way. If you think about it, Jiang Cheng was a fucking powerhouse of a leader. I have no idea when he slept. Probably not at all.

Probably why he was so cranky XD

That's why I am of firm opinion that the alliance by marriage with the Jin sect was a double-edged sword JC wasn't in a position to refuse, but also wasn't in a position to wholeheartedly accept. (And everyone who thinks that JC 'sold' Yanli to JGS for all these doubloons is just plain old wrong). Because now they're family. Only family he has. And that family can slowly find their way into the important positions of his own 'kingdom', because that's how gentry/aristocracy tends to work in a setting putting that much value on bloodlines, and he doesn't have his own family to plug these positions with ahead of time.

And even if JGS wasn't super eager to marry his son to JYL and the marriage was mostly pushed by Madame Jin and Jin Zixuan - it was in JGS's best interests for Yunmeng Jiang to remain weakened and/or under his control. Because….

…tangent nr 2- economics! :D

The plot doesn't go into it, but I like to know, so I was thinking of the actual economics of the magical land of magical peopleXD I don't need them to be detailed, but just realistic enough to make some sense, and serve as a believable background. I'm not going to question the existence of potatoes or other anachronisms, but one thing I needed to answer for myself was - where is all the money coming from???

Like, for real, where is the cash coming from for all the silks, fancy furniture, houses, swords and so on. How are the gentry sects making money?

Again, the genre, like many others, waves away monetary concerns in general - aristocrats are just wealthy, commoners are poor, and Bilbo Baggins is a landlord. OK.

So, taxes. What makes sect a Great one? Land, mostly, it would seem. The amount of land they own. Which means taxes - if we consider the Gentry sects local aristocracy. That tracks, because ain't no way they'd earn that much dosh via night-hunts from a population that isn't really that large. If you look at the approximate map of the whole realm and consider how fast people are moving from one region to another (even including flying swords and donkey-travel) that ain't a lot of land/people to feed all these sects fleeting about between the 5 Majors.

So, my idea is that the small sects do support themselves mostly via night-hunting and general spiritual upkeep of their locals, but the Greats are just aristocracy and live off of taxes and trade.

And that makes me wonder how Yunmeng Jiang managed to recover their wealth in such a record time, and why was the Jin so wealthy for apparently doing so little.

I propose that Lanling Jin grew out of a port-city and made its money on sea-trade. Sea trade was always The Shit if you wanted to, dunno, gild your palace in gold or something.

Yunmeng - with its access to lakes and rivers - was another trade hub of the realm with the additional bonus of lotus, fish and all other crops a well-watered land can give you.

Qishan - being the most West-ward placed of the Great sects we know of, had to have access to - or even monopoly over - the intercontinental trade routes, or a lot of raw materials available. But at the same time, being a mountainous region, it wasn't rich in water and water-intensive crops. I think that once the material appetite of the Wen upper echelon grew, the more they needed to look towards consuming other regions to sustain it.

Annexing Yunmeng was a good strategy from that point of view - it fixed the water issue and also opened new trade routes towards the South and East via the rivers.

But then the Wen were defeated - and all that West-ward trade potential suddenly was left unattended, and JGS would be a fool to let it slip through his fingers. And the only 'large' clan placed close enough to was Yunmeng.

Stands to reason that, somehow, JC managed to wrestle some of that for his own people to refill the coffers. Gusu was too far and not a trade hub by any means, and Nie Mingjue/Huaisang seemed uninterested in reaching out for it, so the only serious competition on that front were the Jin… Which, again, JC somehow managed to outsmart there, because I do not believe for even a moment that a fierce economic battle wasn't fought as soon as the military operations ended.

[numbuh424]

the lighting of this is kicking my ass so hard rn 🚶

[dribs-and-drabbles]

This is a little something (she says and then writes nearly a thousand words) about Kawi and intimacy and his behaviour towards Pisaeng's affections in Be My Favourite ep 9. I've been thinking about it all week but wasn't sure if I wanted to use my precious free-time to make a post. However, on the cusp of the new ep, I realise I do want to get these thoughts out.

I realised from reading other people's perspectives of the ep that my initial assessment of how Kawi was behaving was perhaps clouded by the 'old lenses' that I was subconsciously watching the show through. For context, I wasn't sure that I liked that Kawi kept pushing Pisaeng away and I even mentioned the dreaded Blushing Maiden trope. After some thought, I realise that my initial judgement was very much influenced by a couple of things carried over from ye olden bl times (which may not have been done away with completely but seem to be on their way out in present times).

First, from having seen so many bl/qls with the blushing maiden trope, subconsciously I guess I still expect to see it because it had been so prevalent. And second, despite the re-wiring my brain has undergone when it comes to Krist, I think I still fell back on the earlier presumptions that Krist was either averse to skinship (particularly with men) and/or wasn't a good enough actor to convey physical intimacy (this, of course, mostly stems from his portrayal of Arthit in SOTUS, which for all we know was how he was specifically directed to act - and which many have interpreted as demi- or asexual, which absolutely has a place at the table).

My conclusions to these realisations is that I need to learn to trust these newer bl/qls that they really aren't going to rehash the old questionable tropes of yesteryear.

I remember some discourse before the last three eps of My School President - when we were worried about the ending - about how Bad Buddy taught us that we can feel safe watching it - "safe in the knowledge that tropes were being subverted, that the usual angsty triggers actually got resolved pretty quickly, that the ep 11 curse wasn't actually a curse at all". And we needed to take that knowledge to help assuage our fears about the ending of MSP. And I think I'm in a similar situation here with Be My Favourite and Kawi in particular.

Staying with Bad Buddy for a bit longer (because, really, when can I ever not talk about it in relation to something else?), I remember feeling a similar disappointment with how Pran was being portrayed in ep 9. I felt he too bordered on the blushing maiden with how he shied away from Pat's advances in his room before Korn came in, before the rugby game, and even when washing up after the hotpot date. I don't see that now because, of course, we know Pran isn't a blushing maiden at all - I mean he's not known as Feral Musky Scented HOE Pran for nothing.

Yes, it took time for Pran to get used to Pat's affections but that was probably because he had pined over this man for so long it was all a bit overwhelming at first. Pran probably needed to ease into letting down his walls, to be vulnerable around Pat, and to believe it was all real. And in the end, when he had gotten used to it all, Pran holds back because he likes to make Pat work for it...because Pat also likes to work for it, because they get off on role-playing - as I've said before, it's like foreplay to them.

I'm not saying this is the same for Kawi but it's a similar situation. I knew this about Pran, and that I was wrong in my interpretation of him, and yet I didn't think to approach Kawi and Pisaeng with the same lens. The lens that so many of you have helpfully pointed out - Kawi is a 30-year-old virgin. This is all so new to him, not only to be intimate with someone but also with a man whom he hadn't even contemplated being with. He's spent 12 years only thinking of Pear (emphasis on 'only thinking' as well as 'only thinking').

@burntsuncomet said it well in their tags: "touch gets very very difficult if you don't interact with people much, so intimacy of normal affectionate touches are tough. Kawi would have to start slow and let Piseang just smack a kiss, maybe hold hands, hug a bit, it's a lot of work before intimacy from touch will be like second nature in Kawi's case." @rocketturtle4 also added that Kawi's "general uncertainty could be very well tied in with his loneliness and, especially, his fear of losing Piseang if he does the wrong thing".

@waitmyturtles offered a slightly different perspective, that almost "everything in this show is totally intentional, and...that [Kawi's] discomfort is totally meant to reflect those accusations from Krist’s past about his clear discomfort in acting out intimacy (especially juxtaposed with how much better he’s done with the intimacy in this show)".

So, all of this is to say that I need to start trusting this new wave of bl/qls - a message I obviously forgot from My School President and which has been proven by several other series this year.

And I need to trust Be My Favourite especially, because, as @williamrikers said, "they've swerved and avoided every other trope so far I believe that they're working towards something here". And I agree. Every episode has been fantastic and I haven't disliked a single thing about the show so far.

On top of that, I need to trust my newfound belief in Krist's acting, because he has pulled out some absolutely brilliant performances in this show so far - so why should I think ep 9 is any different?

[cha1cedony]

I will write again Someday. I promise 😭

[letojessica]

going on hiatus 🥲

hello my dearest tumblrinas in fandom i am writing this to hold myself accountable. not to make this sound so serious but yeah i am horrid at finding a balance between real life responsibilities and fandom, and since the coming months will be really high stakes for me because well the rest of my life will be at stake i cannot risk fumbling it up due to distractions such as tumblr 🫣🫣

so yeahhh that said i’ve decided that i’ve got to break from here completely at least till i’m done with my first hurdle because that’s what’s most effective for undisciplined me. i’ll definitely be joining in the last two hotd eps but afterwards… i think being on here at the level that i am now doesn’t exactly align with what i am striving towards.

i love all of you so much tho!! i will definitely miss my moots and the nonsensical tangents of mine but for now… i will make a beautiful life for myself and that i should prioritise what i want from life first and foremost 🩷🩷

update: i have most definitely failed at breaking this reliance so i suppose i’m still staying on here as a sanity valve. still trying to balance life and all that better but i’m getting there 🫶

[butch-himbo-king]

.

[backseatloversz]

oh god i need to make three phone calls tomorrow. AND physically go somewhere to ask about something. jesus christ

[theirwolfbicanthrope]

i am getting some cleaning done on a specific room today no matter how my brain struggles. it is happening. i will make it happen. and then i can relax and watch something, as a treat, and work on my batb2014 fic and not feel guilty for writing m/f fic instead of f/f fic.

[boombox-fuckboy]

To the anon who asked for pod recs with transfem leads: I am committing now to answering your ask within the week.

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

.... what if I did a little drawing every day for 200 days straight for each tma episode. would that be a bad idea or....

[nestastits]

Made a silly little poll out of curiosity and now the very pro rhysers gonna attack me 😗

[shannonsketches]

Hello friends, today I would like to hold myself accountable and address the other side of my PSA, which is to say that I complain about things All The Time, and call myself a hater of many things.

I don’t legitimately Hate the things I complain about. I work in entertainment, and I know that it all has value, and it all has cool things to love. More importantly, I know everything has an intended audience, and sometimes I scream when that audience is not me. Which is selfish. And fun. And good! Because it challenges me to write my thoughts and come up with the story I would rather have, which I then get to come and share here!

I got into this fandom when I was a kid, and I maintain that kids in fandom (especially fandom for kids media) should be allowed to play and enjoy and explore their own stories without feeling guilty for having an interest, and I don’t ever want a kid -- or anyone! -- to come here and feel like a stranger being mad about their interest on the internet means they’re a bad person. They're not! You're not! It's okay to have different ideas!

And because I talk an awful lot of shit about games, I'm gonna repost an older thing I had on another blog, because I stand by it:

My grumpy gamer takes should always be taken with a grain of salt asjkld  I’m a whole adult who has (for the most part, still making an active effort) grown out of  the ways of fandom elitism, and while my opinions might be screaming at the top of my lungs, I promise it’s just me letting myself be a kid and get mad about fiction for the catharsis of it.  Your gaming preferences and favored blorbos are never going to be used as a value judgement here. If I’m being a butt as a fan, as a person I definitely understand there’s a reason we love the things that we do, and I love that art can do that for us! Most likely if you see me yelling about something fictional, I am just having fun yelling, and you’re allowed, if not encouraged, to ignore me lol

#even stuff I don't like is an opportunity to ask myself what I would've done differently like. #it's all beneficial out here. #SS is not for me but it might be your favorite game in the whole world and that's totally fine! !#You're right! I'm right! Because art is subjective and that's the point. #anyway I just klasjd. #please know I'm just being a butt and it's not serious in any way

Anyway I am kissing you all on the forehead and reminding you to please not take fandom too seriously. Even if our little castles look different, we're all playing in the same sand ykwim? Be excellent to each other, and ignore or blacklist the stuff you don't vibe with, including my stuff! It's fandom! You're allowed to curate your experience, and you're allowed to be happy on purpose. Thanks for reading!

[adiluv-moved]

literally could not resist the temptations—second part to warmth coming soon perhaps?? ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა