#i am as always eternally proud of her and all the things she’s done

[untimelyambition]

late 2018/early 2019 billie eilish fandom was absolute peak and i wish i could go back there all the time

[pedrithink]

you and i ✩ jude bellingham

request: maybe you could do Jude and his girlfriend through different stages of their relationship

ynusername

Liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, and 56.762 others

ynusername congratulations, jude!! you deserve every bit of this 😁👏🏻

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judebellingham thank you!!! 😁😁

user1 i love to see the early stages of their relationship 😭

user2 y/n was always by his side :(

user3 were they dating at this time?

user4 @user3 yes!!! this was in his debut for birmingham

user5 i remembered the interview jude gave last year and said that by this time he was already completely in love with her

user6 why was she congratulating him?

user7 @user6 because he had made his debut in the first team

ynusername

Liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, and 76.889 others

ynusername i expected nothing less from you. congratulations on your victory, more moments like this will come :) always proud of you, golden boy.

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judebellingham couldn’t have done without your immeasurable support. can’t wait to see you again…

ynusername @judebellingham i will always be cheering for you, miss you a lot.

user7 this was back when they had broken up because of distance and yet she was still supporting him :(

user8 i love the way they showed that they still love each other even with the distance

user9 for y/n the most important thing was that jude was happy even if he was far away from her 😭😭

user10 @user9 i just remember jude saying that at this time he always cried when he came home because everything he did referred to her 😭

ynusername

Liked by judebellingham, gioareyna, and 102.234 others

ynusername it was a great night with you, captain 🫡🫶🏻

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judebellingham i missed you a lot.

ynusername @judebellingham always with you, you know that :)

gioareyna it was amazing to meet you, y/n. jude talks a lot about you 🫣🙄

ynusername @gioareyna don’t get jealoussss!!! he loves you more than he loves me 🫨

user11 the way he looks at her, GODDDD!!!

user12 i dont know if i want to date someone who looks at me the way jude looks at y/n or the way gio looks at jude

user13 imagine loving someone so much (me talking to y/n and jude)

ynusername

Liked by judebellingham, trentarnold66, and 133.455 others

ynusername i can't and don't want to imagine a life without you. i have loved you since we were 14 and i hope we can stay together until the end of eternity. happy birthday, golden boy. ⭐️🫶🏻

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judebellingham i am so happy by your side. thank you for everything, my love. thank you for not giving up on me and our love. i love you!

ynusername @judebellingham our thing is a forever thing, jude victor william bellingham!!!!!!!! we cannot ever give up.

user14 y/n calling jude ‘golden boy’ to this day, i will cry!!!

user15 their love is so pure :(

user16 i love to see how their love has only been growing

user17 may they be very happy together

ynusername

Liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, and 223.456 others

ynusername visiting home 🫨💗 always love to be here.

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judebellingham my pretty partner in crime 🫡💗

jobebellingham i missed you!!!

ynusername @jobebellingham missed you a lot!! 💗💗🥲

trentarnold66 you need to come visit me RN!!!!!!!! you don’t have excuses.

ynusername @trentarnold66 I WILL TRY

judebellingham @trentarnold66 what about me????? 😢

trentarnold66 @judebellingham yeah, you can come too if you want 🤷🏻‍♀️

user18 PRETTY COUPLE DOING PRETTY THINGS THAT PRETTY PEOPLE DO 😭

ynusername

Liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, and 334.081

ynusername hi madrid 🤍🫶🏻

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judebellingham madrid is more beautiful with you

ynusername @judebellingham simp

user19 y/n is moving with jude to madrid????? finally!!!!

user20 @user19 for sure, they are almost married already LOL

gioareyna i will miss you guys 🥹

trentarnold66 ❤️

[hearts4werka]

Graduation Surprise

- 𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐆𝐎𝐑𝐘 : 𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐅𝐅 -

Summary: Today was the day you’ve been working for very hard, graduation day. You don’t know how but managed to graduate with the highest GPA in your class, if you couldn’t think things could get bad now, they did. After some issues occurring in your family, none of your family members attended your graduation. Thankfully there were your friends who could attend and filled up the spots in the room, cheering me on the whole day as I finally gave the biggest speech of my life. A surprise celebratory graduation dinner is hosted by your friends at a fancy restaurant, but little did you know there was more to come in the surprise…

Warnings: mentions of suicide, grief over the passing of a loved one, family issues, ?mentions of verbal abuse?, swearing and possibly more that may trigger some readers!

- > This was requested by this anon request so big thanks to them for the idea!

Today is the best day of my life, and the worst. Its graduation day. Its not like I havent done good in school, quite the opposite actually, I'm graduating with the title of the top student with the highest GPA in my class. With this big of an achievement, I couldnt be more happy with my life but for as much as I am feeling eternal happiness with myself, theres this small pit inside of me that dreaded this day for as long as my mother was not speaking to me.

After the one unfortunate day I've had enough of her blaming for evey small little misfortune happen in her life, finally standing up for myself and telling her how I feel about her constantly victimizing herself like she isnt the problem, now slightly backfired on me. From how bad the argument ended up to be she refuses to attend the most important day of her own daughters life, graduation day. Even with all of my success achieved at my age she still calls me acomplete dosgrace to this family and a failure, Ive done all in my power to prove her wrong and I did but her opinion seems to remain the same about me.

I've cried and vented about it all to my best friend, Chris who seems to be the only person who has my back and always denies any of my mothers hurtful words, always cuddling me in his arms until my sobs calmed down to a substainal level or until out of exhaustion I fell unconcious, it wasnt our first fight but it never was this bad as it was this time to cut off any speaking words between us. We all used to be the perfect picture family everyone wanted to be like us, looked up to us but ever since my father left us and not awhile after commited suicide it all has flipped my world around, only bad things came my way after that unfortunate event accured and I used to agree with all of my mothers claims that it was all my fault, that I wasnt a good enough daughter to him and that I ddidnt love him enough.

I loved him more than I could love anyone ever, he was the man I looked up to everyday and wanted to be him one day. To make him proud of me, I hope he is looking down at me and smilling at my accomplishments with me. No matter how hard I fight back the pricking tears swelling in my eyes whenever I think of him, I just cant fight them long and would go so far to have a breakdown when I'm hanging around Chris cause I know he;s the one person who wont judge me and instead of asking if im okay, will just scoop the sobbing mess ive made of myself and cradle me until I calmed down.

• 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

As I nervously stand in the line to finally receive my diploma, my fingers fiddling with my gown I glance around the crowded area filled with the rest of the students parents and loved ones I spot Chris, Matt, Nick, Quen, Larray and Madi sitting in black chairs as the amazing people I am glad to call my friends with full proudness spread across all of their faces, cheering me on from the distance and silently reassuring me everything is fine. I chuckle silently as a small smile rises on my face, the nervousness still swirling on my face but now overcomed by the excitement and pure happiness the most important day has finally came.

Next to all of them is a single empty chair left as I imagine my father sitting down on it, or his deceased ghost, smilling and clapping with all of the others. I feel his looming presence in the air which makes it just sweeter and better to breathe into my lungs. As I stepped closer and closer to the final point, I breathed in a sharp breath before steppng onto the stage and being handed the diploma ive wanted to hold in my hands for so long, I am ripped out of my thoughs as I hear very loud cheering and my eyes rip away from the piece of paper in my hand and notice all of my friends standing up, applauding and cheering as loud as they were allowed to.

My face immediately lights up at the sight, giving them a quick wave before proceeding with the remainder of the graduation ahead of me. Shaking the professors hands with silent 'congratulations' and 'thank you's passed by before I take a seat next to the other honoured students next to the stage, getting ready to at the end of the event present a speech. Not all of us are giving one since not everyone wanted or agreed to do one, I keep on thinking of what I could possibly say on the stand, which words to let fall from my lips and whic are inappropriate to speak out loud.

I listen to the other students speeches, most of them thanking their family for all of the support they received during this path in their life up until this moment, how they achieved what they managed to in this journey. Before I know it, its my turn and my name gets called up on the stand for now my speech, with a shaky breath I stand up from my seat and make my way over to the last thing I need to do before finally graduating from college and moving on with my life.

Clearing my throat to seek any hidden motivation and confidence in the dark shadowy corners of my mind to put it towards this speech but the only positive thing thats surrounding the tense air around me is the comforting presence of my father, oh how I would love for him to witness this moment and live in it with me right now. I'm doing it again, I'm thinking about my father too much that I wont be able to speak, I take another deep breath to regain the lost confidence before I finally begin my speech and loose myself in the words which just start to flow past my lips.

"Um Hi everyone, so today is an inportant day for all of us which is graduation day. Thank all of you for coming here and supporting your child, finally receiving that diploma they worked so hard to achieve and hold in their hands. I would really love to thank my amazing friends who came along to give me the support I needed in this day, but there is one more person I would like to thank..." I let out a shaky exhale before I continue on. "I would love to thank my dear father who didnt have the fortune to be here today due to a very sensitive topic for many of us so to not make this too long I wont get into detail."

"He was my hero, the person I looked up to all my life and the best father you could ever ask for. I know he is looking down at all of us and is so proud of evey child inside of this building, even if its not his, he always made sure to include everyone in the smallest little things who to the average person wouldnt matter as much as it did to him. If youre somewhere here with us dad, I just have one last thing to say to you before they kick me off this stage for making this too long. I love you with all of my heart and dedicate this whole journey and diploma to you." raising the diploma in my hand into the air, small tears prick my eyes as the whole room breaks into cheers and everyone applauding me and I havent felt better in my life.

I step off the stage and reunite with my friends, passing through the crowded area before I immediately fall into Chris's open arms. Everyone joining the hug and continuing to praise my beautiful speech with all kinds of kind words that just go straught to my heart as if taking it into warm arms and never pulling away. "That was absolutely amazing, like im shocked by how heart-spoken those words were" I hear Nick state in a proud tone with a slight undertone of joking to lighten up the mood as the rest of the others chime in with their own words as we all pull away from each other. "Girl we are so proud of you." Larray speaks up louder than the others and pulls me into a seperate hug of his own, soon everyone else follows behind now with Chris being left for last.

Without hesitation he grabs ahold of my waist and pulls me into his chest, his face burying into my hair and inhaling the sweet scent left behind from my shampoo i've used this morning. I nuzzle my face into his chest and breathe in the scent of his cologne I always love smelling, its my favorite out of all of the previous ones he had in the past. "I am so proud of you, sweetheart. You totally nailed it at making the whole room cry, including us." He admits while speaking against my hair, a soft chuckle following suite which also makes me chuckle as well as the others around us, we stand in each others arms fir a few more minutes before finally pulling away.

"Now its time for celebratory dinner!" Matt cheers as the group chuckles at his enthusiasm, we wait for the whole ceremony go come to an end and everyone will be allowed to go home before we make our way out of the building alongside all of the others. All of us split and go out separate ways to get ready for the dinner, I don’t know what to expect since they didn’t tell me much besides the fact we’re going to a dinner at some kind of restaurant after my graduation but they informed me before-hand to dress up elegant so my mind started to assume the different places we could go dine at.

! -- boom boom -- !

I relax under the hot water spraying onto my body from the shower head secured to the marble wall, there’s about an hour before they will be knocking at my door to pick me up. Still, I take my sweet time with my shower as it washes all of the stress and nervousness away in the form of hot water droplets dripping from my nude body. Switching off the shower and stepping out of the shower I wrap a fluffy tower around my torso, absorbing the water that was left behind on my skin as I scout around the room, finishing up the business I needed to get done in the bathroom before I leave my towel to dry and walk out of the bathroom.

My eyes land on the black asymmetrical dress lying down on my bed that Chris gifted me not so long ago, now got me guessing if he was planning this before-hand. Alongside with a white pearly necklace with matching earrings that was also a gift but a bit of an old one now coming from my father before he passed away, I still kept the suicide letter he left for me and put them on top of it so I am reminded of how valuable this gift actually is each time I put them on. Now lastly a silver watch with two rings - 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐟𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤 https://pin.it/2tcBbHAtN

I’ve precisely lied down my outfit to get a visual of it, expecting I would use most of my time in the showerWalking over to imy wardrobe I pick out a fresh parei of underwear with a bra to matcabd a bra, quickly slipping both ite,s onto my body before now moving onto the official outfit. I havent had the dress on yet since I didnt really have a specific reason to put it on but today its a special day and that calls for a special outfit, the dress fits my body like a glove and is tight in all of the right places. walking to stand infront of my full-body mirror I become immediately obsessed with how it looks on me, and quite surprised on how did Chris pick out thus dress possibly all by himself? maybe i underestimaded his knowledge about me all along.

I complete the whole outfit with putting on the rest of the accesories before moving on to my shoes, I've got there old red-bottom heels from my mother which she gave to me for a 'special date with a special someone' but I already know what she was implying and I wasnt so much against it. the idea. I put them on and now go to the next step, makeup. I step back inside my bathroom and start on my makeup, in the same time thinking of what I could possibly do with my hair and in what style I can style it today, especially for my graduation dinner. For some reason I feel like I need to look my best no matter what, so I really take my time whit perfecting my makeup and deciding to do a basic blow-out with my hair once again making sure everything is in place.

Moving onto the final finishing touches, spraying my favorite perfume on my pulse points where it will ill give off the mossmot scent. i check the time on my watch and realize I dont have hvae much time left so I quickly get out of the bathroom, disconnecting my phone from the charger in my bedroom and drop it into my purse which was laying down next to it. With a rush in my move and few minutes to spair before expected knocks on my door, I take some pictures in the the mirror to appreciate how I look tonight. I basically dart to my door as the 'were waiting in the car outside' pop up on my phone screen and revealing the cute wallpaper I have of a photo with Chris, I admire it for a second before moving onto the tast at hand. Exiting the building I see Matt's car waiting outside with everyone inside but with just enough room left for me, they all great me with simple hi’s and hello's but the tone of their voices changing the meaning of them, turning them into more heartfelt greetings. Matt turns the engine back on and we leave from under my apartment complex, chatter and small banters starting to rise in the air of the car.

! -- boom boom -- !

We pull up into a parking lot of a very fancy restaurant and the building from the outside looks already amazing, we all step out of the car. Chris quickly walks up to my side of the car and grabbing my hand, helping me get out of the car. I chuckle with the rest of the group who witnessed it, as all of us are out of the car we make our way up to the front entrance. Nick turns to look at me walking with Chris in the back, "We hope you like it here, it legit took us a month to get a resarvation here." he states with an uplifting tone to his voice, silently appreciating all of the good energy and how they took the time out of their day to scheduel this is so heartwarming to me. "This place looks absolutely amazing, I dont know how you guys did it." I admit, admiring the outside in awe at how it looks in the night with all of the lights turned on, the slight dribble of the waterfountain outside is heard in the background as we finally enter the restaurant.

One of Chris's hands is resting on the small of my back, a warm fuzzy feeling lingering behind it each time he takes it off. I notice for some reason all of the others whenever see our closeness with each other today, it seems like they know something I dont and I'm just itching to ask and admit Ive noticed it but I bite my tongue back and dont say a word about it. Observing the interior design inside, we sign in for our reservation and a polite lady walks us to our table. All of us sit down and have the menu already infront of us, picking it up and flipping through the pages to find something I might enjoy here since I’ve never eaten here before so it will be good for me to try something new from time to time.

I glance around the restaurant, still admiring all of the guests nicely dressed in suits and dressed of all sorts and the interior just screaming luxury and money in general. Ots not my first time seeing luxury in my life but by the looks of the restaurant you cant tell someone has taste in interior design. My eyes go back down onto the menu and come to a desicion on what I should try here, soon the waiter approaches us and takes everyones order before walking away. The table errupts into chatter, some banter and laughter being thrown around evetywhere, positive energy flowing through the air and rising the atmosphere. Everything was perfect so far, amazing even, sjtting at a restaurant with all of my friends I deeply care for while having fun at the same time is such an amazing feeling to have inside of you and hope the others are experiencing it as well.

Before we get the grasp of the time flying by, soon our food arrives and everyone goes in. Tasting the various flavors and textures delivered in the meal, the sounds of satisfaction fill the air as all of us consume our prepared meals while chatting in between. We’ve been in the restaurant for quite awhile now and our stay is soon going to come to an end as we finish our meals then wait for our check to arrive, as we wait I notice the groups eyes shifting from me to Chris and confusion clouds my mind as of what’s to come next and it is nothing I’ve could have ever expected. Chris also places his eyes on me, me now realizing he has something hidden behind his hands and my curiosity rising almost instantly, the others whispering and giggling to each other while I remain oblivious.

Suddenly he stands up from his seat and walks over closer to where I currently reside in my seat, his hand reaches out in a gesture for me to take his hands and i oblige. Softly placing my hand in the palm of his, feeling the warmth of it envelop my own as he makes me also stand up and rise to my feet, his other hand remains hiding the mysterious object behind the enclosure of his fingers trapping it inside. The exact hand comes into view to finally reveal what is the surprise. “You’ve been through so much, yet you’ve managed to pull through it all. Since you graduated with such success, I just had to get you something personally to congratulate my favorite girl finally getting what she worked so hard for.” He confesses before taking his hand away and revealing a small white box, I grab the box and open to find what’s inside. My eyes are met with a stunning diamond ring which shines in the soft glow of the chandelier in the room.

I stare in complete shock and awe, not knowing how to react nor what move I could possibly do to safe the awkward silence. Before I get to wrap my head around any kind of ideas, he lifts my head by grabbing ahold of my chin to look back at him, smiling at my expression. “But there’s one last thing to do…” He speaks again, his eyes darting between looking into my eyes or staring at my lips. “What do you me-“ before I could finish my sentence as well as not getting that much time I needed to think of any possible meanings he meant behind his words, he pulls my face towards his and smashes our lips together in a searing kiss. I could feel the other tables glancing at us but frankly I didn’t care right now, becoming lost in the sensation of his lips on mine.

I melt right into the kiss as my arms fall around his neck, pulling him down closer to me as his arms attach to my waist. Never did I think I would be kissing my best friend in the middle of a restaurant, our friends start to erupt in cheers and the other tables starting to join the moment. After a few minutes passing of the kiss, we pull away from each other and I chuckle at the remains of my lipstick now left on his. “I love you, I really do.” the words leave my lips first as I see the smile widening in both of our faces, our breaths mixing together with each other by the close proximity of our faces in the moment.

“Even if I was a worm?” He jokes, lighting up the tense and intimate mood surrounding us, I giggle at him trying to squeeze in a joke in almost every situation he gets the chance to. “You’re so fucking stupid, it’s starting to get cute” “Yeah maybe, but I’m your stupid, am I?” I roll my eyes playfully, knowing what he’s saying is completely true before pulling him back into another kiss. The others cheers slowly fading into the background and the only thing I could hear was the flowing thoughts and pictures of this moment, everything around us becomes irrelevant as both of our minds get lost in the immaculate chemistry coursing through our bodies.

@hearts4werka

authors note: after working on this for quite some time now, a few crying nights while listening to cas to be exact, I finally finished writing this request that literally was such a good idea. I loved writing the story and it is kinda more story in general in here but overall this was such a fun thing to write. I hope y’all enjoy this kinda change of pace, luv y’all so much

& love and peace, V

Guestlist!

| @sturnioloblues - @sturnsxplr-25 - @deffonotjae - @strnzzvsp - @luvvs4chriss - @sturniolosweetheart33 - @pussypie456 - @choclatestarfishwithahat - @venusxsturnio - @bagsbyclair0 - @sturnstvs - @dykes4chris - @hoe4matt - @cayleeuhithinknot |

Reblogs, likes and comments are deeply appreciated!

[pinazee]

Black and Tan: A Crime of Fashion

The MELANIE LYNSKY episode! (Or at least thats what i call it. upon seeing her on screen for 0.2 seconds i knew she was going to get pretty big. She’s such a phenomenal actress.) I honestly lowkey shipped her with shawn. She was so sweet and i feel like it brought out some of the sweet in shawn too. Shes also a character i wish would come back one day, like they do a murder mystery movie and they’re on her yacht or something idk shes really good friends with them all still, they could make it happen :)

Lassie has given up. He has resigned himself to his fate that Shawn will always be up in his shit for the rest of eternity.

LOOK HOW MUCH FUN DULÉ IS HAVING HERE! OHMYGOD HE FUCKING KILLED ME IN THIS EP!

why am i surprised he knows the name of the model in downtown Santa Barbara and is a huge fan? Im starting to see why Gus is single. He gets way too obsessed, but also, Shawn wasn’t kidding when he told that one chick he was willing to change everything about himself. This also adds a nice layer to Gus’s character because we see part of him wants that exclusivity and prestige. He wants to feel like someone others admire, which is brilliantly contrasted with Shawns more down to earth not really caring what others think vibes.

And speaking of contrasts, i love this bit; not only because its funny, but because it feels like a great metaphor for how shawn and gus approach life. Gus is trying so hard to win and Shawn doesn’t care and the outcome is the same.

And i think its so funny whenever Gus gets so obsessed with whatever world their exploring hes pretty much useless and Shawn has to be the rational one.

Every once in a while psych will do this POV shot in shawns perspective thats not being used to point out a clue and i think its really cool. I wish they would have done some more like it because its such a great way to show how shawns constantly aware of his surroundings even when he’s not on a case.

And this was brilliant! It has to be one of the best psych-outs in all of of Psych! Fucking legendary!

And this was brilliant too!

I felt so bad for shawn, playing middle man between henry and karen (which is the most unprofessional thing shes done haha), but it gave henry and shawn one of their best scenes at the end when henry is practically begging shawn to understand, like you can almost sense that he wants to confess right there that it was maddie who abandoned the family not him (or maybe im seeing that because i know its the truth. 🤷‍♀️) and shawn just doesn’t want to deal with it. Its interesting that henry was dragging shawn into it though, like he was using it as a way to see if shawn was okay with it now, cause otherwise he could have asked his friends right? It didn’t have to be shawn.

Honestly it shouldn’t have been. He knew it made him uncomfortable and he kept telling him to stop asking, but like always henry pushed it.

(Oh and also this kind of adds to the mystery of how well karen and henry know each other because she seems keenly invested in it, plus, when her friend told her he left a message she said that sounded like henry. So she must know him well enough that she can say this casually. Sidenote: that moment karen opens the door and Shawn looks horrified was priceless!)

Lastly, its interesting that shawn is proud to have never been in therapy when his mom is a psychologist. I feel like she would have instilled in him a better understanding of what therapy does and that its not something to be ashamed of. Likely the writers just hadn’t figured out maddies profession yet, but still.

P.S Everyone look at his jaw!

[imaginesbymonika]

“Shame” (Part 5)

A Pedro Pascal x fem!Reader fan fiction

Plot: For the last four years, Y/N and Pedro have been dating in secret. The fear of rejection has turned them into a mystery that could only be encountered in yearning looks on red carpets or hands that are touching one another briefly. However, for the longest time, things have been working out that way just fine. But now Pedro's agency wants him to have a PR relationship with another woman and neither Y/N nor Pedro is sure if their love is going to survive that.

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, feelings of cheating

Masterlist

Y/N brings her right hand up to her mouth but stops her movements a few centimeters before she gets the opportunity to chew her nails. She takes a deep breath and lowers her arm almost instantly. "And the Emmy goes to…" She holds her breath for what feels like a short eternity. Pedro's brown eyes are on her, and she can sense them. She used to adore that feeling. And she remembers the first time his gaze lingered on her. However, at this moment it feels…strange, and offputting. It makes her feel awkward and tense. Y/N knows that this shouldn't be her reality. Love shouldn't feel like such a chore.

"Barry on HBO!"

She blinks and swallows thickly. "Holy fucking shit.", she softly whispers under her breath, while everyone else around the table immediately jumps out of their chairs. People around her are cheering.

"Congratulations.", Matthew's voice is right next to her ear and a chilly shiver runs down her spine." Come on! Get up.", another voice states and a few seconds later, Anthony Carrigan drags her into a bone-crushing hug. Her co-star pulls away and instead offers his left arm, while his head nods towards the stage:" Let's go."

Y/N is well aware of the fact that the man in front of her has a crush on her. He had started gushing over her during interviews way before they even began working together. Whenever he got asked questions like "Who would you like to work with in the future" his brown eyes would slightly widen and he spoke her name as if it was living in the back of his throat. She couldn't help but notice the way she was enjoying all this attention that came her way.

"You know, that I am always here for you.", Anthony whispers softly into her ear, while the pair makes their way up the small set of stairs. Everyone observes them, and out of the corner of her eye, she witnesses that Anthony seems somewhat proud of having their arms linked. They join the others and a rosy blush appears on Y/N's cheeks.

No one knows that Y/N is dating someone, let alone that she is dating Pedro Pascal. She sometimes imagines how her friends would react if she broke the news to them. She assumes that they would be happy for her, after all, Pedro has been nothing but a gentleman… or maybe they all would be somewhat dissatisfied that they've been lied to. After all, that's what she has done for a while now. A terrible feeling forms in Y/N's stomach and she rolls her shoulders back. "You're okay?" "Yeah, no, I'm great!"

[blackwolfstabs]

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 18

LETTER

Sam wrote a letter to Tara before she left for 5 years.

the timeline for Scream V & Scream VI is messed up, so i'm considering the year by doing math from Sam's birth year: 1997. when she turned 18, it would've been 2015, even though Scream V took place in 2022, which would've had Sam be gone for 7 years instead of 5 but whatever.

May 19, 2015

My dearest Tara,

You know that I love you. I’ve loved you, ever since I first laid eyes on you. I was only 5 years-old when you were born, yet I remember every detail. It was the best moment of my life. It still is. I love you more than words on Earth can describe. 

But I’m so sorry. No matter how hard I try to fight it, I can’t help but feel that I have to leave.

Know that I tried very hard to stay. 

I’m so sorry for the pain I’ve caused you over the years. I know I changed. Let’s just say that I grew up faster than I was supposed to. But it was never your fault, so don’t blame yourself, okay? I made a mistake that I shouldn’t have made. I knew better. Much better than to do what I did, but now I can’t take it back. I made the wrong choice, and I will be eternally damned because of it. It’s not your fault. It’s mine. Some things just aren’t meant to last forever. Dad wasn’t meant to last with Mom, and I’m not meant to last with you. But understand that my love for you will last, forevermore. 

Please do not cry or feel sad for me. It won’t hurt for too long. You’re growing up, which means my job as your big sister has come to an end. I think of all the days you’ve known, all the ways you’ve grown. Tara, I couldn’t not be more proud of you. The life I had as your big sister—holding you, reading to you, playing with you, teaching you, laughing with you, crying with you, I could go on and on—was worth all of my existence, and I would do it a thousand times over again, if only I could stay with you. I pray that you’re able to open your heart to another, who can take care of you as I have done and promise forever.

Thank you for the time we had together. I’ve never felt so loved, and no one in this world will ever love me more. Yes, we’re sisters. We fought and tattled on each other. We got on each other’s nerves and even resented each other, as siblings do without truly knowing what it is to hate or not want each other around. But you were my everything. You made me laugh, you made my cry, you made me strong, you made me weak. You made me feel like there was no one else in the world besides you and me. It was us against the world. Oh, how I wish that could have lasted longer.

I don’t want to live without you, so my heart is broken, but I’m able to smile, knowing you’ll be much better with me out of your life. Mom will be better. She won’t be angry anymore. It will bring her peace, and therefore, you will find peace as well. Smile that gorgeous smile, and live in the light. Please, promise me you’ll never lose that smile. It could light up all of the world, if given the chance. It’s too precious to be lost. Enjoy your friends, follow your dreams, and become anything and everything you want to be. You can do it, I know you can. You remember when you used to talk in 3rd person? I would have something and you would point to it and say “that’s Tara’s”. Go point to the world, baby girl. That’s Tara’s. Go change it. Go make it yours. The world is Tara’s, and I’m so honored to have been able to be a part of it.

Please, my love, please live. I beg you. Live for the life ahead of you. You are going to do so many amazing things, and I can only hope that when every one of those times come, somehow, I’ll know. 

I wish I could hold you one more time and tell you how much I love you. Your love has given me so much happiness and purpose. I can never thank you enough for that. My heart will always belong to you, no matter how far away I am, and if this world is truly beautiful, may you and I find each other in the next life. 

I will miss you with every beat of my heart. I love you, and I always will.

Live well. Stay safe. Be happy.

Goodbye.

— Sam

The teardrops that fell from her eyes dampened the paper, right next to where she signed her name. It was 5:30 AM. The whole house was dark and quiet. Sam folded the letter up and covered her mouth to muffle the sobs she couldn’t hold back as she left her room. She couldn’t bear looking at Tara’s bedroom door, when passing it in the hallway, the countless memories they’d spent in and out of there hitting her like lightning. 

She made it down the stairs and slipped it into Tara’s backpack that sat by the front door. 

This was it. Once she walked out that door, what was done was done. There was no going back.

And she did, squeezing the straps of her own backpack to keep herself from running back inside.

‘Don’t turn around. Don’t turn around.’

She played that mantra on repeat as she stalked the pre-dawn streets, alone. Where was she going? Anywhere she could get away from what lived inside of her. What she would spend forever trying to outrun…

She was going where no one would know the blood spilled behind her name.

The letter she’d just written haunted her, making her imagine all the different ways her baby sister might take it when she read it. All she could hope for was that she would understand. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe someday…

But what she never knew was that the letter would never make it to Tara’s eyes. In fact, she would never even know it had been written in the first place.

Christina found it minutes after Sam left.

And she ripped it up.

i cried for 30 minutes after writing this. seriously, i was sobbing, and i couldn't stop. Sam and Tara just run way too deep with me, i swear.

special thanks to "Happy/Sad" from The Addams Family, performed by Nathan Lane & kaelyngray on AO3.

All my best ♡ - parker

[my-taelicious-kookie]

(ch.1) NORMALITY | jjk high school AU

preview: there he was…

July 2018 ~6:12 AM~

It was the start of something new for Maria—Year 10 at Myshuno Senior High. Everyone around her seemed excited, and it's not like she doesn't get it, but for some reason, she wasn't feeling the vibes. The usually enthusiastic kid felt strangely neutral.

"Brenda, a quick photo with Maria? Come on, please?" Maria's mum, Ana, asked her best friend.

Brenda, the shy girl with an unmissable sense of style, usually hated being the center of attention. But with Maria, she was willing to make exceptions. People often thought they were twins, despite Brenda having started at Myshuno in 2010, five years before Maria. Secretly, they wished they'd been born to the same mother.

"Brenda, give me a little smile, will ya?"

Brenda hated being told to smile. She'd do it when she wanted to, thank you very much. But today, she forced a small smile because Ana always claimed she looked ten times more beautiful that way.

"Ms. Lee, I don't mean to rush you, but school starts earlier for us today because of orientation," Brenda said gently.

Ana snapped a few pictures, and after what felt like an eternity to Maria and Brenda, the photo session finally wrapped. Ana gave Maria a big good-luck hug and kiss, which Maria was never embarrassed about. She was proud of her close bond with her mother and would brag about it to anyone who'd listen. As Ana drove away, reality sank in. They were growing up.

Maria soon found out Brenda wouldn't be in her class this year. She knew it wasn't great to depend on someone, but she couldn't help but worry about Brenda fitting in with the other kids. At least they'd be together for orientation, and Maria hoped she could help Brenda make some new friends before regular classes started.

At exactly half-past six, the school speakers crackled to life. "Attention, staff and students. Year 10 orientation has been delayed due to technical issues with our projectors. Can all Year 10 students please go to their allocated classrooms and wait for your homeroom teachers. Thank you."

Great. Here we go.

~6:55 AM~

Maria headed to her homeroom, class 10D, where she already knew almost everyone. There were a couple of new faces: Esther and some guy she didn't pay much attention to. She thought Esther seemed cool and considered sitting next to her. But while Maria was plenty confident, small talk was not her thing. She was great at holding long conversations but terrible at starting one, so she decided to sit next to her friend, Dani.

"Hey, Dani, excited for high school?"

"Yeah, sure," Dani replied, dropping her head onto the table. Maria knew this was typical for Dani, who wasn't a morning person. She'd have to wait until around nine to get a proper conversation out of her. Not that Maria blamed her; who thought a 7 AM start was a good idea?

Their homeroom teacher, Mr. Park, started the day with introductions and an overview of the school's upcoming events. "Good morning, everyone. I'm Park Yidam, you can call me Mr. Park. Sorry about the orientation delay. Rest assured, we won't start with class today. Instead, I'll cover the school events and extracurricular activities."

Maria was bored within minutes. It was the same stuff Myshuno Senior High had done every year. Just as she began nodding off, she, along with Dani, heard a word that caught their attention;

"We have some unique extracurricular activities here, like choir, taekwondo, and dance—"

That was all they needed to hear. Maria and Dani perked up immediately, ready to make possibly their worst decision of the year.

Flashback to April 2018

Dance was more than a hobby for Maria; it was her passion. She'd been dancing daily since her kindergarten teacher chose her to compete in 2008. As middle school was coming to an end, Maria became determined to make the most of her last year by performing in the annual talent show. She rallied the best dancers in her grade to join her, thinking they were her friends. But they made changes behind her back, including making her audition for her own group—only to reject her.

Afterward, Maria and Alaina, another girl who'd been rejected, sat outside together, feeling disappointed. Alaina admitted she felt used, like she'd been included just to justify kick out Maria. Maria agreed. Together, they decided to form a new group, even if it meant choosing people who weren't as skilled. They didn't care about winning anymore; they just wanted to perform.

"You know what would really get under their skin?" Alaina asked.

"What?"

"If we had guys in our group."

"Huh?"

"Think about it. There aren't many guys here who dance. If we can get even a couple, people would be more interested in our group."

"Yeah fuck, that's actually genius!"

It turned out to be a less-than-genius idea. The only male dancer Alaina knew, Hoseok, chose the other group instead due to their popularity. With no hope, Maria and Alaina began recruiting random people. To their surprise, they ended up with a solid group, even if they were all "mediocre" dancers, as Alaina put it. Maria even convinced Brenda to join, despite her hatred of being in the spotlight. Alaina also managed to recruit two boys from her class, Jimin and Jungkook, who were, unexpectedly, decent dancers, just that absolutely no one knew about it.

That was when Maria had a revelation: she might have a crush on Jungkook. Up until this point, she'd thought of herself as somewhere between bi, gay, and maybe even asexual. But the way she imagined holding Jungkook's hand, having lunch with him, maybe even growing up as high school sweethearts—it all felt surreal. She started wondering if she'd even end up having his babies someday. Damn, she definitely wasn't gay-

"Oi, Maria!"

"Tch, what, 'Lane?"

"Are you even listening?"

Maria had been in her own world, but she could multitask.

"Yeah, yeah, something about using boss music to show people we're, like, actually the boss."

And so, their dancing journey began.

For a month, they practiced almost every day after school for their June 10th performance. Exhausted from final exams, Alaina nearly called off the performance entirely. But Maria refused to let that happen. This talent show was her one chance to interact with Jungkook.

"Weekend rehearsals at my place!" she declared.

Saturday, June 2 - ~12:49 PM~

It was rehearsal day, and Jungkook was coming over to Maria's house. Maria lived in a modest, two-bedroom home with barely any space even for her dining table, let alone for dancing. Perfect.

"Hey Mar, uh, where are we supposed to practice?" Brenda asked, looking around.

"I dunno, maybe the porch?"

Alaina suggested, "Why not come to my place? My living room's way bigger; it'll fit all seven of us easily."

Everyone agreed, but when Alaina asked if Maria's mum could drive them, Maria hesitated. "I don't know 'Lane, my mum's really tired."

"It's just a 10-minute drive," Alaina argued.

"No it's more like 25 and the drive back would be 40 minutes because of the stupid traffic light near that stupid steakhouse."

"Maria, she's been asleep all day. It's one in the afternoon. What's even up with her?"

"Are you dense? Try traveling to work every day at 5 AM and getting home at 9 PM. Then tell me what's fucking up."

The room (more like the porch) fell silent. Maria didn't care; she'd always defend her mum, who worked tirelessly since her dad had left when she was four. Ana's job paid well, but the long commute drained her energy.

After a long, awkward pause, Jimin broke the silence. "Let's just rehearse here and get it over with."

The rehearsal was anything but productive. There was more joking around, a water hose fight, and playing with the neighbor's dogs than dancing. Alaina, who had an autoimmune disease, was exhausted. But despite the lack of serious practice, it was a good bonding time for the group.

One by one, everyone started leaving. And at one point, Jungkook - who was the only one left - noticed a piano in the corner and asked, "Oh cool! You play the piano too?"

Maria's heart raced. Jungkook was still here, alone with her, in her house. She kind of hoped he'd stay a little longer.

"Haha yeah, I'll play some pieces for you!"

next chapter >

[regression-1863]

Just a little something I wrote last year that won me a contest that I'll now be sharing.

.

.

.

“I see you’ll be taking another of mine I suppose?” a woman made of vines, flowers and thorns asked.

The creature in front of her didn't reply. They were humanoid, wore a white robe, and held a sickle in their hand.

“...pity.” she replied before continuing “Well, he’ll be good fertilizer. I can already imagine the flowers that’ll grow here. Or maybe a human will stumble upon him, turn him into a coat.”

Once again, no reply. It was like talking to a brick wall, the other simply wanting to be done here and leave. It kneeled down to the ground, looking at the soul of the recently deceased lamb.

“What's with the new look? Never thought of white being your color.”

The creature paused, finally realizing that the woman made of vines genuinely wanted to talk.

“...the humans used to pay me for my services, you know? Now they find the whole “made of bones” thing a bit…unsettling.”

“Ah…so ethereal looking instead of corpse looking?”

The creature known as death nodded. “It's a new trend apparently. Something called ‘christianity’ i believe. They find angles more…. Well. Whatever it is, it makes my job easier.”

“I don't know, your hair seems inconvenient. Pure white, and unreasonably close to the ground, you’ll stain it with blood.” she replied, concerned.

“That was the point with all black, but of course, humans got weird about it.” Death stood up, picking up the small soul of the dead lamb. “I've got to take this one back now. Souls can't be here too long without ending up in some sort of eternal limbo.”

“Of course. I wish you both a safe journey.”

Death nodded. “Thank you, nature.”

Death used their sickle, cutting through the air as though to make a portal of some sort.

“You know, you’re always welcome to come visit.” nature said, her voice unwavering.

“Ha. ironic. A being of life welcoming death.”

“I am not just a being of life.”, nature said matter of factly.

“My mistake.” death replied, and though they sounded sarcastic, they were being genuine. “Well. goodbye for now.”

“Goodbye.”

~~~~

she was decaying. Her vines turned to slush, her flowers becoming black, her lovely greens turning brown.

“Is it the humans?” Death asked as they sat down next to her, “Is that why you’re doing all this?”

“They have taken advantage of my kindness for too long.” nature replied, venom seeping through her voice. “They are messing with the balance of things and it's about time they leave.”

Death simply nodded along. “You’ve already given me quite the workload. What are you planning now?”

Nature picked up something so small and unnoticeable. “Fleas” she said, “ I'll use them to spread my new creations. Something they won't be able to pick up on.”

Death looked up at the sky.

“It should spread quickly. If I'm lucky, a few humans have already died from it.” nature looked on, watching as the trees started to falter. She was lucky that they hadn't started to die yet, for it was far too soon for them. They were supposed to outlive the humans, and if not that, then to at least be put to good use, to be renewed into something new, something useful.

And right now, neither were happening.

“It seems that it's started to work already.” death said, not indifferent, but not concerned. Not for the humans at least.

~~~~

“You’re not good at small talk, are you?” nature said. Even though the two weren't able to interact often, the few times they did cross paths were always strange.

“Well, when most beings die, small talk isn't exactly on their mind.”

“Fair enough…speaking of life and death, what do you think of my new creation?” she held out a purple flower, showing it off. She was quite proud of it.

“It's pretty. Whats it called?” death said, looking at it, but careful not to touch it.

“It doesn't have one yet. I usually just call them whatever the humans call them.” she dropped the flower, and watched as it fell into the ground and became one with the earth.

“They’re gonna name it something with the word violet in it.” death said, looking at the flower. “Humans always do that with purple flowers. I wonder if that has anything to do with the flower language. According to humans, violets mean friendship, modesty, and humbleness. Though it truly does depend on who you ask”

“Really?”nature asked. “I have to admit, I haven't heard much about this, flower language, or much of the human world in general. It sounds fascinating.”

“You’ve never visited the humans?” death asked, sounding surprised.

“Not at all.”

Nature had rarely interacted with humans, only really being around them in the sense of her creations being near them.

“Not even trying to blend in with them? Pretending to be one?”

“Have you?” she countered.

Death paused. “It's a good way to pass the time.” They said, “There's this old woman named Margaret. I was pretending to be a husband buying a bouquet for my and my wife's 5th anniversary. Another time I pretended to be a young woman questioning what would be a good flower to give to friends.”

Nature listened with curiosity. “What else do you know about them?”

“Lots of things. They’re strange creatures that like to pass the time doing things they like, yet they seem so insistent on torturing themselves.”

“Torturing?”

“Nevermind, it would be ignorant to phrase it like that. It's not so much of them torturing themselves, more like…they built a system destined to fail, it's usually built by the people that would be benefited, and the others suffer the most, but in the end it all fails.”

“Strange…animals usually don't do that. There's hierarchy but not like that.” nature knew how most hierarchies worked, despite not having much do with animal or human creation. But even she knew that having only the top of the hierarchy be benefited never worked out well.

“Right? And there's several different hierarchies, like the social hierarchy, except it's not defined by what job you have. If you’re a king, you obviously don't talk to your servants like friends-”

“Correct, unless you're a king author.” nature said, cutting death off.

“-however this hierarchy is a lot stranger. For example, let's just say that everyone has the same job, the same work, the same everything. The hierarchy is still there. It's- it's social?”

“As in everyone has specific jobs?”

“No- well, kinda. It depends. It's somewhat similar to a caste system I suppose, except no one tells you where in the system you are and you just have to guess. And I'm not sure if it's because I'm not human, but plenty of them can tell that I'm not.”

Nature took a moment to process this. It was strange, humans had systems however they were for certain reasons. Humans however, these systems seemed all together strange.

“They can tell? You must be a bad liar then.” she said, and she chuckled for the first time since the black plague.

It had taken her a while to get her strength back from that, it was exhausting, trying to get rid of enough of the pests that were so determined on killing her.

~~~~

“Why are you so…content, with the death of the living?” death had asked, one faithful day. They had always been quite curious about it, the way nature never seemed to mind that every piece of grass, every flower, died at death's touch.

It seemed contradictory, seeing as she had just killed millions for that exact thing. But it wasn't that she wasn't bothered, it was something else, something death could never put their finger on.

“What do you mean?” nature knelt down to a grave. It was a human, she had no personal business even being near it, yet here she was, looking at the flowers that had died, rotten and old.

“The plants the humans stomp on, the animals they kill without reason. Why, you are the being of life, are you not?”

Nature chuckled. “No, I'm not.” she stood back up, looking around at the graves.

“Well. if you’re not the being of life itself, then who are you?” they asked, watching nature's face carefully.

Nature wandered around looking around the graves but not at them.

“It's simple really.” she said, “the animals that are killed and left to rot are turned back into fertilizer. The death of one thing leads to the planting of something new, something…wonderful.”

“So. Why kill those humans?” death asked, full curiosity. It wasn't often that death was able to ask another being quite like themselves such…curious questions. Sure, they could ask, but they would never get a straight answer.

“Simple. They were destroying the balance of things. The earth was dying because of them, so to heal her, I had to get rid of the root of the problem.”

Death nodded. “Like an immune system to a virus?”

“Precisely.” She sat down at another grave. “I guess…I would describe myself as a creature of balance. If there's no balance, the world would fall to shambles. Watch.”

She dug her hand into the ground, and the grass around it instantly died at an unnatural pace.

“I could cause damage-” and within the second, as though she comand it to, the grass went back to normal, if not better than before, “-and give life. No life without death, no new beginnings without ends.”

~~~~

There was once again a silence, one carefully threaded, carefully crafted.

But of course, death is sudden, and sharp like scissors.

“It's happening again, isn't it?” they asked, observantly seeing as she had once again lost her glow like green.

“Things always have an ending. Isn't that what you always say?” she replied, though she seemed content.

“It is not your time. No yet.” death countered, unbelieving that she’d give in so willingly.

And she laughed. “I'm going to die no matter what. It doesn't matter how hard I try.”

“You still have time.”

She sat down on the ground, struggling to keep herself up. She dug her fingers into the ground.

And like that, the ground started to die with her.

It was too late.

The day she died, many things happened. The water had gone toxic, the heat of the earth got too much, the grass had turned yellow.

Everything died with her. Without her plants, without her water, her ability to give life, all the humans, all the life, everything was gone. It was natural disaster after disaster.

The earth was covered in charcoal and soil, everything either burned, or drowned, every city destroyed, all life was beyond repair.

Everything had rotted.

But don't you know that rotting plants are the best fertilizer?

[tsuncda]

ooo ok idk if CYMs are allowed in here but

🪑 (chair) — come talk with me! i don’t have any ask games in mind, so come annoy me however you see fit <3.

maybe as ur playlists? bc u have some very cool names for them

omg,,,,,, your mIND is impossibly big for this, bestie!!!! i am a sucker for a good cym and nothing will bring me back to my tumblr rot than one of these bad boys <33

disclaimer that my memory has never been worse when it comes to who falls under the "mutual" category. i might forget some of you and i'm so sorry for that 😔✌️

@destourtereaux is despite everything, there is light (it's all my like,,,, soft core kpop that i listen to when i'm #overwhelmed on a monday evening and still have so much to do even though i'm so done with life itself. it's the perfect balancing act between a pick me up and a cradling hug that doesn't ask me to be okay,,, just get through <3) alternatively; we burn just like stars

@musicallisto is do you even dvicio? (because yeah <3 she's the only other girlie who understands the dvicio brainrot <3 also i heard a rumor that literally all of their love songs are written about her???? and like,,, i can confirm it's true. there's no better subject material for love songs than clara <3) alternatively; summer borne seconds? i only have 5. also; though their lips sound of things done

@amortensie is sing because you just need to sing (it's literally just musicals <3 nixie is that theatre kid out of all my mutuals and she should be immensely proud of that <3. also, there's so many different genres held within that behemoth of a playlist and nixie has multitudes and depth that we might never expect <3) alternatively; mele

@genyakosstyk is the haole boys know how to make good beats on occasion (this one is just a collection of white boy artists (hapa haole included!!!) and idk why i'm giving it to lottie, tbh. i just feel like she'd lovingly roast my occasional, misguided brainrot over objectively average white men like alec benjamin, but also let it happen and learn the lyrics to support me. it's a playlist i listen to when i want to tap into the teenage me who had a favorite backstreet boy, okay? ooooohhh... you know what? maybe this association came about because i associate lottie with &juliet... and they have a lot of white pop on that list.... yeah. i think that's it.) alternatively; six of crows radio

@bright-molina is summer borne seconds? i only have 5. (it's a 5SOS playlist. i think the association explains itself.) alternatively; stealing elias goldstein's headphones

@heliads is do i want roses? only if they sound like this. (it's a collection of music by the k-band the rose and i just,,,,,,, there's nothing more comforting in this whole wide world <3. why do i associate it with lisa? i mean,,, it's not a 1-1 association since i don't think lisa knows the rose exists, but i feel like their ~sound~ fits her vibes <3) alternatively; i am the sea or i am nothing

@oceanspray5 is heavy are the mountains; heavy the seas (this one is my like,,,, indie folk pop playlist. at least i think that's what the genre is...? the sound for of monsters and men. the oh hellos. the lumineers. idk why other than the sound fits the aesthetic of iffah's blog.) alternatively; a little parenthesis in eternity

@noesapphic is the dark of getting it (it's my secret agent au playlist. self explanatory vibes <3) alternatively; cantar

@the-radio-star is perhaps i am digging his grave (one of my oldest, most robust, and beloved playlist <3. it's arguably a lot of genres but it scratches the same itch of ~ooooooohhhh,,,, i'm dark and angsty and arguably a mess but also a bad bitch on alternating wednesdays~) alternatively; saranghae but it's a mournful yeehaw

@permanentreverie is bts mayhaps? (i think this one explains itself <3 but also!!!!!!!!!! bts changed me and so does lindsay. daily. not always for the better of society, but alas. change can never be contained to one linear direction <3) alternatively; thirteen of them but they take up seventeen places in my heart and; this world rests beneath a blood red sky

@biqherosix is tomorrow? girl, only if we're together (i don't think daniza knows txt - if you don't, this is my not so silent plea for you to give them a listen - but literally the vibes align so perfectly. she and txt get each other, they just don't know it yet. listen to 0x1=LOVESONG and tell me daniza wouldn't just,,,,, go feral to that song. also Lo$er=Lo♡er) alternatively; the haole boys know how to make good beats on occasion

@johnskeating is CELESTIAL (for obvious reasons (to her at least) that i will not disclose and neither will anyone else under threat of death <3. but also, it's a collaborative playlist with a lot of summer-adventures-with-your-best-friends vibes and that's cass <3) alternatively; all that's beyond my grasp

[spacedhead]

HOMESTUCK REREAD #17: END OF HOMESTUCK (act 6 act 6 act 6 and act 7)

this is it!!!!!! this is the end of homestuck!!!

the song setting the scene for all of these battles that are about to take place concurrently is called creata, and it has leitmotifs from MANY songs in homestuck, as do all of the songs in this 18 minute sequence! also check out this fortnite squad....

the second song is called oppa toby style... oh man this is gonna be sick.

GOD LOOK HOW STRONG SHE IS SHES BEATING UP FOUR OF THEM EFFORTLESSLY

roxy my son is fighting so hard actual goat of this section btw no cap you will see later

of course this part is.... not as important but still certainly something i suppose.. karkat and jake are giving it their all as the weakest members of the squad

here come the striders and terezi!!! they are about to mix the shit out of these jacks

side note but not really its kind of crazy how owned dirk gets in this fight he dies like three different times and is saved by dave terezi and jane a bunch . talk about an unlucky break

meanwhile jade is struggling with her dog friends/ enemies and caliborn is fighting his denizen yaldabaoth ( wrdgaf). also vriska is fighting hussie? (WRDGAFX2)

okay so caliborn beat his denizens ass. so called strongest denizen is weaker than caliborn who was beaten by john fucking egbert.

anyway the current song is eternity served cold but only the second half.. its very good. variation on johns theme for a bit, then into lord english theme.

ive always loved this shot

davepeta makes an undertale reference.... which i guess was topical at the time. my undertale phase is long gone though. so . cool reference anyway !

last song. heir of grief is starting. VERY good song. love this shit!!! pic of one of the squads... theyre getting roughed up

oh my god... the four original kids and the pictures of their houses from the beginning of the story really reminds me how far they have come... ive been reading this shit only for a few weeks but man it feels like it really has been such a long time since things were that simple.

cool ass shot of these guys

oh no!!! theyre getting fucked UP dude shes beating their ass... but who is that back there...?

to be honest. i am not sure what jade was trying to accomplish in this sequence. she seems to just be teleporting her and the dogs around.... like to get them to stop fighting maybe? idrk but either way they kinda just fight anyway. or at least PM does

i think this moment of dave chopping dirks head off is not really significant for dave as much as it is for dirk. he finally relinquished control for once!

anyway, PM FINALLY gets jacks ring off, and now he is no longer a threat. its been so long. wow . goat much?

roxy being the one to finish the condesce is deserved. great job. my goat. props to all of these crazy kids they fucking did it they won!!! holy shit good fuckin job!! but we arent quite done yet.

this is beautiful art that is the rest of the comic basically until act 7. i just love these panels so much. one of them has actually been my background for about a year and a half!

its this one . i really love this one it shows so many of my children look at them all god im so proud of them they did it.... YES!!!! i knew this would happen but im still so happy for them.

look!!! the mayor and pm reunited once again. its been since before cascade since they saw each other last! and serenity too!!

this one is a real standout as well... so good i love all of them. am i repeating myself? surely not.

:))))

it is time for act 7. the finale of homestuck, essentially. it has been a long and winding road.... only a little left to go :)

LOOK AT JOGN EGBERT I WANT HIM TOBE HAPYP FOR ALL ETERNAL

a lot of this animation shows the new universe being formed, like the tadpole turning into the frog and stuff. it is very cool, and visually stunning to be honest, but i like to focus more on the characters with my limited images per post. but trust me, act 7 is very beautiful the whole way through :D

LOOK AT MY CHILDREN IN STUNNING HD QUALITY

THE LOT OF THEM. I SIRED THEM ALL? INCREDIBLE

do you see how fucking beautiful these kids are and how much they mean to me. i would do anything for them

holy shit vriska is serving like crazy here. i mean they all are but... okayyy vriska

look at these two. leaders of their sessions. coming together. finishing. it all makes me tear up a little i wont lie. also this music called overture is fucking beautiful.

oh man okay yeah. i am really misty eyed here. this never happened before?? god i fucking love this story

IM GONNA START CRYING DUDE FUCK

well here it is. first view of the idyllic earth c. they did it. they won . they created their universe and they got to live in it

heres one last squad shot of them all being goated and fucking awesome maybe? ever think of that

it started with him and ended with him. my son john egbert i love you so much

okay. its actually over. it feels weird to say but i have indeed completed homestuck yet again. this time was maybe my favorite reading of it other than probably the first time. maybe it was cause of the blogging it? i did genuinely love blogging my thoughts about it. even if no one is paying too much attention, its cool to get it out there :D

overall thoughts? the first part is a little slow to get going, but once it does get going, it's so fun and just a blast to read. things are incredible up until right after cascade where it slows down a lot. which i get. introducing a ton of new characters and essentially a new main villain into the plot can be a lot. i would say that the first half of act 6 is like... a definite decrease in quality? but it starts picking up again when they actually arrive in the new session. and me personally, ive always loved the ending. i know some people were like oh they just win and their plan goes smoothly. like, yeah i get that, but also things did NOT go smoothly when game over happened, and that was definitely the everything goes wrong moment. everything after that is cool and fun and very entertaining to read. i just love this story guys i love it so much there is a reason why it is my favorite piece of fiction and why i constantly come back to it . it is just so good i love the characters i love the concepts the plot is sprawling and self referential and just plain cool . of course it has flaws, namely its villains are a little weak. sometimes i love villains who are just plain evil but sometimes in a story like this i may have preferred a villain who has a little more motive than just being evil and wanting to destroy and kill things... but its alright. the heroes were the main focus anyway, so its not like it ruins the story or anything. i think homestuck goes from an ironic shit post story that makes you feel like an ass for reading it to a heartfelt tale of empathy and self improvement and self actualization. its characters go from asshole kids to pretty good adults. and you can see the writing grow up too. its honestly great and if you know me you probably already know lots of bits and pieces about it and/or i made you read it. but if you dont you should give it a shot. it has NOT aged well i will say but if you can manage to ignore the usage of slurs and probably other bad things i can honestly say it ends as a story about growth and acceptance of the self and others. that is all.......

thanks for reading this to all my friends i had tons of fun

p.s

im reading the epilogues. FUCK

[joy-of-life88]

Lace & Leather [a Damian Priest story] 26 My first, my last and my everything

Damian POV

Nervously I paced up and down outside the door to our bedroom with Hazel in my arms as I waited for it to finally open. Every second that passed seemed like an eternity to me. I could hardly stand the tension. I wanted to see my Bluebell.

"Bluebell, this is really becoming torture! Are you ready?" I asked for probably 10 times.

"Yes, I am. You can come in!" Kat called back, thank God.

I took another deep breath and then reached my hand out for the door handle. The door opened slowly. Almost as if in slow motion. But there she was at last. My personal angel. And she looked even more stunning than I could have imagined.

When Hazel saw her mommy in her lace wedding dress, she cooed and squealed joyfully. Her little arms immediately stretched out to Kat. She took our daughter from my arms while I could only stare at her silently. I was so overwhelmed by her beauty and grace that I almost forgot to breathe.

"D? Are you okay?" Bluebell finally wanted to know. In her face I saw that she suppressed a laugh. Probably because of my facial expression.

"Okay? That doesn't even begin to cover it, Bluebell! You are so stunningly beautiful! I needed a moment to take that in." I said as I took a step towards my girls and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Aww Damian.... please don't make me cry already. And just for the record... if anyone is drop dead gorgeous around here, it's you." replied Kat with a little sniffle.

"I beg to differ. I'm holding the most beautiful thing I have in my life in my arms. I would love to stay here all day and tell you both how much I love you, but we have places to be." I then said.

"You're right. Let's get this show on the road," Kat agreed with me.

Together we made our way to the marina where a ship with our guests was waiting for us. We would have the wedding on this ship after it sailed out to sea and we could enjoy a beautiful scenery.

It had been such a perfect idea for a small ceremony with our dearest people. This... This day was important for us and it was especially important for us to enjoy it in peace.

Arrived at the marina we were awaited ready. Our guests greeted us. A look at my fiancée showed me that she was overwhelmed by the love and joy that was brought to us.

And then it was already time. I tried to concentrate so that I would not forget anything I wanted to say to her.

We stood in front of the Justice of the Peace and listened to his words attentively as I had Hazel in my arms and held Kat's tightly with my free hand. Hazel had put her head on my shoulder while she put her little hand on my neck.

"Katja, I have thought long and hard about what I want to say to you on this beautiful day. There is so much for which I am grateful. But the most important thing of all is that we are together. You, Hazelnut and me. I love you. And I love our little one more than I will ever be able to put into words. But I'm going to try anyway.

I don't know what I did to deserve having you in my life. For me this is a gift for which I will be eternally grateful. When I met you it was like meeting an angel. I never thought I would be worthy of you, but here we are.

Katja, my Bluebell.... You are the purest, most precious being for me. That's why I like to compare you to lace. Like the lace on your beautiful wedding dress, you are delicate and soft, yet tougher than some would think. You are the opposite to the rough, firm leather I have always seen myself as.

You are beautiful, loving, caring, funny and above all you are strong. You stand up for what you want and for those you love. You are an amazing mommy to our Hazelnut. I am proud to have you by my side and I promise we can do anything as long as we are a family. I love you, Bluebell. More than you will ever know." I began my vows and when I was done, I was glad I hadn't forgotten too much.

"Damian... I know we had a rough start. I made a lot of mistakes. And I can't tell you how glad I am that you were able to forgive me and start over. You are so gracious. You are generous and honest. I know I can always count on you.

In you Hazel has a daddy who will always be there for her. No matter what our angel needs, I know that you will always take care of our daughter. And me, of course. I fell in love with you, head over heels, because it is simply impossible not to fall in love with you.

It doesn't matter if I have a good day or a bad day, as long as you are by my side I can endure anything. I will share my life with you. You, Damian, are my first, my last and my everything. I am yours. I love you and I promise to love you always. In this life and in my next. No matter what." Bluebell spoke as tears started to run down her cheeks after all.

We exchanged rings and then the Justice of the Peace pronounced us husband and wife. I put my free hand on my wife's hip and pulled her to me. We kissed tenderly as our guests clapped and cheered joyfully. But then Little Hazel pushed her head between us, making everyone present laugh. Clearly, she was a little jealous. Bluebell and I kissed our daughter's temples as she now giggled happily.

"I love you, Mrs. Priest," I said softly.

"I love you too, Mr Priest. Just like little Miss Priest." she replied and then stretched to steal another kiss.

This day was so special for us, but I knew we had many more special days ahead of us in our lives. And I couldn't wait to share them with Katja and our daughter. Who knows, maybe someday more little surprises would come into our lives to share these days with us.

[the-fandom-hopping-mage]

thoughts on the special #2

this was fun last time so why not do it again

i had to double check that i was watching the right show cause it was in the wrong time period then I remembered that its a show about time travel and aliens

not to be racist but I feel like that guy shouldn't be black if its the past

apple tree OH its newton got it

I like her she reminds me of ms hudson. shes probably not his housekeeper either

okay its definitely newton

of COURSE. omg I've done it I've solved the secrets of the univ-HOLY SHIT WAS THAT A FLYING PHONE BOOTH WHAT THE F- *its raining apples from out of the sky apples no need to ask why*

honestly relatable, doctor you gotta stop traumatising people in the past

OH MY GOD HES SO PROUD OF HER "THIS IS MY FRIEND!! DONNA, MY FRIEND DONNA NOBLE!! WHO IS HERE WITH ME!! WHO SPILLED COFFEE, AND NOW WE'RE HERE ON ANOTHER ADVENTURE!! DONNA NOBLE!!"

"So he can blame me for all eternity." these two are so cute old married couple fr (platonic)

DOCTORDAVID ILY YOU ARE ADORABLE look how excited he is to meet him

spoilers~

the GRAVITY of the SITUATION oh my god i love donna so much

oh my GOD its MAVITY (its giving Mawage)

was i too busy getting excited in the first special to notice the new theme??? its so cool woah the tardis is doing flips

oh flickering lights that's never good that's how the angels get ya

DOCTOR WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER OH MY GOD IS SHE OKAY

sir you have some apologizing to do after all she's done for you and you light her on fire every chance you get no wonder she threw you out last regeneration

lol the tardis was so pissed at him she became american

ye you should be sorry apologize to her for blowing her up

no DONNA its a non-sonic screwdriver obviously

why the FUK are you YELLING at it jesus christ someone needs to teach this man stranger danger especially since 80% of the creatures they meet try to kill them

donna: No i need to be the Voice of Reason doctor: ..... donna: yeah okay you're right lets go to questionably safe activities

Mavity, Mavity. Mavity is wot bwings us to Earf today. Mavity, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam-

oh no its a wall

Donna: Wait you didn't know? All of us knew, you were the fruitest fruit loop we'd ever met the writers are just allowed to be controversial now

these two Idiots (affectionate)

Yes, the tardis took advantage of your absence and turned Common Sense Protocol back on, obviously someone needed to

if a very slow robot is trying to walk down a very long corridor i feel like the best plan of action is to see what its walking towards not what its walking away from??

why are there no stars are they inside dark matter or smth

OR THE END OF THE UNIVERSE HELLO AGAIN YANA

oh wormhole well I guess that's cool too

okay you say 'oh no its the edge of the universe' literally all the time I'm not that scared anymore

that pose is so silly why are you standing like that

oh Fuck its a Thing

'just settling' with your luck its a weeping angel or some shit

the change in his voice when they went into the echoy room gave me a heart attack I thought it was a new person

DUDE its giving the same vibes as "Is this perfume or alcohol? *drinks whole bottle* it's perfume"

good lord this man is an idiot

iTs A nOiSe with YOUR luck?????? learn from your friends sir she's got common sense

these guys are being way too blase about the drastic temperature shift it might just be my Awareness Of The Genre but I do think they should be more concerned

oh em gee its creepy mimicks that's weird (dude the donna mimic isn't even remotely realistic like the doctor mimic was pretty good had me fooled but she comes in like "I have done what you ordered. I am a robot.")

I swear. This man. Isn't he supposed to be clever or smth

EW

why is the steering wheel shaped like a sandal

This man's typecast is literally Sad Gay Men why are they ALWAYS so SAD

I think the doctor currently having an existential crisis is the Real doctor with Fake donna and the one without the tie is the Fake doctor with Real donna

#nope its not her

#called it

he looks so betrayed how can she not immediately start apologizing look at that face

The Real Genius of This Show: DONNA NOBLE, everybody, round of applause for donna noble

jesus these things' life goal is to bring up all their insecurities isn't it

oh my god give this man a break

okay the last time you(r face) encountered a copying alien, it very nearly succeeded by stealing your voice. Maybe that's a good hint to Shut Up???? Its gonna keep stealing your thouuuuughts

how to stop thinking: knock her out. you don't think (consciously) if your unconscious. just hit her over the head if you both live she'll thank you in the end

WITH THE KNOCKS TOO if this is midnight 2.0 I swear-

BUT NOW YOURE GIVING THEM THE COMPLETED VERSIONS OF YOU ON A SILVER PLATTER YOU ABSOLUTE DUMBASS

the way that's framed it very nice the stunt double and the actor can be in the same shot since their faces arent together

that's not therapeutic that's self destructive

Go Converse Go Converse You Can Do It

wait if those guys aren't matter and they absorb heat why wouldn't the bomb just feed them I feel like there are flaws in this plan

That is a Fabulous entrance bravo tardis have you ever perhaps considered musical theatre I promise you would have to deal with fewer dumbasses who like to blow you up

its a skateboard woo eeeeeee

ok saved donna is not excited enough at all I'm suspicious (and if its real donna I'm concerned)

did he just kill his best friend for the second time

he owes the tardis and donna SO many apologies after this

idk if its the music or the doctors influence but it is sad that those two died (if they did I still think they didn't)

✨Trauma Buddies✨

You idiot if you've got a feeling its probably right its always right with you

c'mon bestie spill your trauma

"I'm alright""Is that special time lord code for 'really not alright at all'? 'Cause I'm alright, too." ah how far we've come *wipes tear*

imagine being wilf and for the past 15 years you've been sure you killed one of your best friends and NOW HES BACK

in crying

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN TWO GODDAMN DAYS GOOD LORD

wow Grammarly really doesn't like my tumblr grammar

the end

[swampcreature]

Tag Game To Better Know You

Thank you for the tag @lady--lisa!!

Tagging @owl-mug @teagrammy @william-jennings-bryan and anyone else who wants to do it.

What book are you currently reading?

I haven’t done a lot of reading for enjoyment recently nor have I really thought about picking up a book soon. Maybe once finals are over I'll get something.

What’s your favourite movie you saw in theatres this year?

I didn't see a whole lot of movies in the theaters this year, and the ones I did I didn't really like, but I liked the Baz Luhrmann Elvis movie the most out of them.

What do you usually wear?

I dress really casually. Right now, it's usually sweats, or a sweater or a cardigan and t-shirt, and jeans. I like fun multicolored socks and shoes. High school me used to dress like Vriska when we got no-uniform days though and I'm glad I graduated out of that.

How tall are you?

On the tall end of average height.

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

Scorpio. I share a birthday with Bob Ross and the Great Depression.

Do you go by your name or a nick-name?

IRL I go by my full first name, but online I use a nickname.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

No. I think she'd like the path I chose though, even if she would be a little disappointed in the fact that I don't really do the thing she found passion in anymore. I'm still in university though, I have time to make it up to her.

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

No, and honestly I kinda prefer being single.

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

I have a fairly decent memory and am good at remembering deadlines and stupid trivia. Even things I thought I forgot (usually I just end up making some association and going oh yeah that's just like blah blah blah.)

I cannot wrap a present for the life of me. I can never manage to get the paper to fold right or the tape to look neat. Slap it in a bag, put some nice tissue paper in there, and call it a day.

Dogs or cats?

I like them both but I prefer dogs cuz that's what I grew up with.

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?

Ughhhh I haven't finished anything in a while but i'm kinda proud of this line. I'm malding though cuz I have to scrap it cuz the scene flows better from the other character's pov.

"However, Andrew has always been inclined towards sin, so despite everything, it is natural that he gravitates towards a being as sinful as Antonio. Perhaps they’re cut from the same sinful cloth, both demons seeking a soothing hand, an honest tongue, and a kind heart. If his damnation comprises of an eternity playing games, drinking, and spending time with Antonio in this manor, then Andrew doesn’t think he minds at all.

"How cruel it is, that God allows him to meet someone who understands him so fully and uniquely, and still deny him the privilege of making him his soulmate."

What’s something you would like to create content for?

Identity V fandom doesn't have nearly enough femslash fic. The sapphics are starving.

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

Ride the Cyclone. Fantastic musical, fantastic characters, Jane Doe is my sweet daughter and deserves the world. Also recently taken an interest in Ada Lovelace, 19th-20th century classical music, and Ace Attorney.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

This last semester of university. It's just been so incredibly draining. I'll be going abroad next semester though so should be some more excitement.

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

I can do pretty good accents (if I listen to someone with that accent for long enough.) When I was younger I used to be able to do a good Russian accent cuz I watched so much hetalia and now I can do a decent Clone High JFK voice.

Are you religious?    

No but I consider myself spiritual.

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

A spa day. Especially a pedicure.

[libidomechanica]

“Has not so, I am from youth as servd”

A tricube sequence

               I

To harm arms to man. And turning store

wise! Far more desert eyes make it stole

away, a human had a husband.

               II

In our freeze, I freezing way. Has not

so, I am from youth as serv’d! I

grant I never more they seemed present.

               III

And the show of yet another teens.

While bright, Sweet kisses, who knew not

wondering lights are all I speak to her?

               IV

A better loving hell! Over the

travellers. Sweet eyes, ’ for my very

things of God be done! Love does compare.

               V

Who art as their country made reply:

yon clouds: far away? A spider’s web

hung to woe to record a few steps.

               VI

Side by side, and you would do a steady,

and gold, that it sinketh, as are

sleep. I wrote the ground, fly; see them all!

               VII

She was sent: yet how those Love does not

speak. Sing And ever-present. And this

past care, or sweethearts again: and och!

               VIII

Now, to lead to my use it mine! The

rain, with my limbs into capitulation

chose of pain, pass, thou from Praise.

               IX

He blended where Beauty and when the

even Diogenes. To comfort of

thy sins enow. On the garden-ground.

               X

And with a brother, and could be to-

night, knowing light, when to praise their sweet

self bring? And whistle mair blaw sweetness.

               XI

Wilt na gie, at closet never tell

it all, are ye? Charge; which a one; But

as there. Who had swept the narrow seas!

               XII

Ran forests. Off. Was on the sun; coral

is false heard, the narrow seas! But

ill advanced, nor woe, nor doe not less.

               XIII

A baby look, and i’m always I

long vine creeping out over alone,

my grief at thy part in one ended.

               XIV

But these valleys. Was ten, skinny, red-

headed, whence they blew up, a second

times peace and his fancy to unsay.

               XV

’Er the soul can restore! What a tricked

with fresh blood and looking down flame, lie

within me wrought of early spring.

               XVI

The polar sky ascending.— For females

like to fix with his knife ill-used

doth fill me why does sit so fleeting?

               XVII

Smiles, tears, fits, flirtation, the fatal

night there. Name as if a mansion have

sought it less than for sacred rites vnfit.

               XVIII

Black, an’ it winna let a body

be. The disease he lingers on the

sound! The sway of sobs her in her e’e?

               XIX

And such a Banquet of his glutton

be, thy love for him who draw a moment

moan? I wish I could scarlet cloak!

               XX

Accept, dear idea reigns alone.

But there cannot tell ten the road against

their hides, in branches made alone!

               XXI

The lines; nae gowden streams speake doth ly,

till aver the oak is keeping out

of her sense, to him to here her Dearie!

               XXII

Even of senses clear late rhyme; yet

would reach’d a Cry to Heav’n— his Eyes, an

amatory banquet of ashes.

               XXIII

And white, when they found morning, and made

his estate. It was a brig, a schoolboys’

barring child the stour, wi’ thee, dear.

               XXIV

Of the sweet long, but she shall know, full

gallop, drew in far less of the prisoner

to hear my music, which to thee.

               XXV

Since delight, I find no spurre can see

what is not false I sweare by blacke but

my hope, feature? Instead of my heart.

               XXVI

No louers proud brow, it merit some civic

manhood firm again. Perhaps when

sometime lofty shine: if I ask thee!

               XXVII

In me has. Winter, wished and shoue: each

in the purely, as thou hast thou may

trace, and my blue nights and chain of Joy.

               XXVIII

They be. Swagger, that the day bright, the

daughter, they are game as with the leagues

of it winna let a body be.

               XXIX

—Robin bauld, tho’ her goodness, that’s in

her tale while his right. A face thou

eternal years gone, that the world surmise.

               XXX

As thou shoulder quite, because thought. By,

her very warriors, unless your bodies

mere bonie lass o’ Ballochmyle!

               XXXI

Smells their guns witness tell. But t is

time to laugh’d In such family at his

may be toom, weel aff, If thou hast leave.

               XXXII

Some Cossacques and clear eye’s due, by

preacher, and thence a fair and thought he

said, these I betters. And all that night.

               XXXIII

Greatest flake off the proof of all his

joy? The friendly; were’t not to reach,

when all in sometime lofty elm-trees.

               XXXIV

Elms he said, you push on to go with

a wife and here was, and from the Heaven.

Was he was a poet sublime?

               XXXV

And no other, and I the mone of

the Noble Nature now come by the

crusted so. Or wandering this old.

               XXXVI

Hath made for his babes were tears have to

give. Medals, rank, ribands, lace, while his

span had been said then the Might or die.

               XXXVII

Dear and bony grow, if tho’ her grief

and swift. Neglected chillness, that I

wear like a thousands of their bacon.

               XXXVIII

Whether teens. Toot, toot! Hear heart rejoic’d

in question. On Scotland’s placed upon

drill’d away from the woods and now then?

               XXXIX

Utterly this engineer’s scythe, whose

precious jewell’d hairs be few, the fires.

Nothing else was once against the world!

               XL

General best. Billows, or more or let

him and my heart mine own bent; I sing,

haply I the heart so sore, hey ho!

               XLI

Childhood’s fate, made my dear. With a heart’s

worthlesse ware; there come by the wind! I

cannot tells the hour to seeke my home.

               XLII

No evening. This helmet the pull of

mosquitoes ascending and in the

insect host what I speake; and men’s heart.

               XLIII

I have slept fast as thou art a girl,

this pastoral war; and bony growth,

which each one sole leaf of that the brow!

[ilikestarfoxturtles]

Vent. Tw mentions of sh

I am the art now.

The blade is the brush my blood is the paint and my body the canvas. Dear mom and dad I am now your perfect masterpiece

I yearn for my parents to truly grasp the depths of my anguished mind. Not merely for the sake of their concern, but for the sheer revelation that awaits them. I crave witnessing the profound astonishment etch across their countenances as they bear witness to the masterpiece I have painfully etched upon my own flesh. A fierce desire lingers within me, yearning for their hearts to bleed with vicarious pain. I hungrily anticipate the sorrow and horror they will feel upon beholding what I have inflicted upon myself. I hope they cry out in anguish and tremble with sorrow at the site of this masterpiece that is now my own flesh I hope they question why I would do this myself just so I can simply answer “IT IS ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!" I should be offering my eternal gratitude to you both. For you, my dear parents, were the very embodiment of inspiration that led to the creation of this awe-inspiring mural that gracefully adorns my shoulders, accentuates my hips, and delicately traces my spine. Isn't my work a sight to behold, dear mother? Do you not feel a sense of pride for the art you have aided in nurturing within me?

oh and dear father of mine I can’t forget the part you took in this masterpiece you who is the puppet for your own wife who carried out all of her deeds you took just as much part in this as she did aren’t you proud. I did exactly as you wanted perfectly. I am perfect now just as you’ve always dreamed. This marvelous agony placed before you is your masterpiece.

And oh dear brothers who’ve aided in my self destruction I hope you’re future is haunted by my image in your head and my voice in your ears. For you have done nothing but watch these hands at work and say nothing except taunting words and constant lies that painted you as the victims.

Words that filled my heart with hatred and despair but those feelings are followed by a sadness

Because I don’t want to hate you…..any of you

Your supposed the ones who love and supports me who I can count on at any moment.

But you’re only that family when I’m not there..

Slowly I’ve realized more and more how you mistreat me but I still choose to love you even though it only hurts me more and more to hang on to those strings holding us together waiting for you to finally understand and see things from my view.

But part of me knows that’s never going to happen….

[teamlarl]

Drabble - Mamma

“I don’t remember much about mamma.”

The admission came with a heavy sigh and a long swig of his drink. Not wine. This was far too heavy a topic. Whiskey it was.

Renatus circled his finger around the rim of his glass, head bowed and unable to meet the judgmental gaze of his older sister. Oh, he knew that was probably too harsh. Vesna had her opinions about his lifestyle and choices, but she had never judged them. No, the only one here who was judging him was himself.

“I can still see her face. It’s hard not to, when I see it in the mirror every day. When I see you almost every day. But…”

“Renatus,” his sister spoke softly. Yet all too firmly. Vesna reached over and placed a gentle hand over his own. “You were so young. Please do not blame yourself for not having those memories… We were robbed of her far too early.”

The young dictator closed his eyes and released a shuddering breath that rattled his shoulders. They had had this conversation many times over the years. It never managed to help him come to terms with it. Their mother’s death. Their father’s death.

And who was he to talk? This was Remnant. Dead parents, lost relatives were a lien-a-dozen. It was more strange to know someone who hadn’t lost family. So why was it so hard for him to move on?

“You know what I do remember?” He replied weakly. “That story she would always read to me before bed. About the boy, the bird, and the mountain.”

“Hmm. How many seconds in eternity,” Vesna replied knowingly. She gave her troubled brother a soft smile. “You conned me a few times into reading that one to you.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess I did.” He took a short sip and chuckled. “Just a way to remember her by.”

Vesna reached over and tousled his hair. “You really need to cut this,” she murmured, “it’s getting so long.”

“Like you’re one to talk.”

“Oh? Next are you going to tell me that I need to shave like you very much need to?”

“I think I’m spotting some lip hair from here, dear sister.”

Vesna snorted and punched his shoulder. “Hilarious.”

They lapsed into a momentary silence then. Not needing to say anything because… what else was there left to say? Well, a lot apparently, because Vesna spoke up again.

“…Do you know the last thing mamma said to me?”

Renatus, having heard this before, simply quoted, “Take care of him, Vesna.”

Vesna hummed in acknowledgement. “Take care of him… I’ve spent a long time doing that, Ren. A long time… Honoring the last wish of mamma. And I think I’ve done a good job. Not perfect, but good.”

Renatus blinked. “What? Of course you have. I would not be where I am without you.”

“Yes, well… so long as we’re admitting things…” Vesna drawled. “I think it’s time for me to… stop.”

“Stop?” Now he looked concerned.

“Stop,” Vesna nodded. “Renatus, I love you, and I will always be your older sister. But I have lived my life chasing after mamma’s shadow, honoring her wish. And… you’re a man grown, now. Doing grander things than any of us could have imagined back when you were sitting in mamma’s lap, reading one of her book out loud.”

Renatus nodded and he put his glass down. His free hand came to rest upon hers. Vesna offered him a sad, brittle smile in return.

“Who am I outside of you?” She asked. “I… do not know. And that scares me. I think… no- I know that I need to go out there and… find myself. Figure out who Vesna Nicator is. Live for myself. Because… you don’t need me to take care of you anymore.”

Vesna gently pulled her hand away from his, only to lift it up and caress his stubbled face.

“Because you’re the one taking care of everyone else. And I am so proud of you, Renatus Nicator, I need you to know that. Papa would have been too. So would mamma.”

The purposeful exclusion of Ianus went unmentioned.

“And… I want them to be proud of me too,” Vesna raised her finger to his lips before he could make a rebuttal. “For more than being a good big sister.”

At that… Renatus nodded slowly. For there was nothing he understood better.

“…Where will you go?” He whispered. “What will you do?”

“I don’t know,” Vesna sighed dreamily, “isn’t that exciting?”