#i am always saying way too much. but i am making peace with it. but i have something adjacent to this
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adieutristana · 2 days ago
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hi, i do! i’ve just yet to receive any requests for vi by herself, but i’d be happy to write this :) thank you for the request!
summary; quiet mornings with vi and her girlfriend.
characters included; vi
tags/warnings; fluff, casual dom vi, butch wife material or whatever they say, domesticity, maaaaybe a bit suggestive?
men and minors dni.
you’re awoken to the smell of breakfast cooking.
the spot next to you is empty, an indent on the mattress from where vi once laid. the light shines through open blinds and you reflexively bring an arm up to cover your eyes. groaning, you turn away from the window to look at the bedside clock: 8:41 am.
you wished vi was still with you, it would’ve been nice to wake up in her arms like usual… oh, well. breakfast is nice too.
you swing your legs over the side of the bed and try to rub the sleep from your eyes, slowly making your way to the kitchen. you’re greeted by the sight of vi’s back turned to you, white sports bra and black sweats. she’s clearly too absorbed to have noticed you, intently working on whatever she’s making.
you approach her slowly, a bit cautiously as to not startle her while she’s over a hot stove, but slowly snake your arms around her waist, pressing your cheek into her shoulder. vi lets out a little ‘hmm’ in acknowledgment, but doesn’t turn around.
“up already, babe?”
she remarks, right hand busy with a frying pan.
“yeah. couldn’t sleep without you there.”
“sorry, sorry. wanted to do something nice for you.”
you hum in acknowledgment, pressing further into vi’s back and grazing one hand over toned abs.
“what are you making?”
“surprise.”
she remarks. vi knows just how much you hate surprises, not knowing things. although you know you could very easily look over vi’s shoulder and see for yourself, that could ruin half of the fun. you simply hold vi from behind her, relishing in the warmth that her body offered you. it was always so peaceful, getting to hold her, to be close to her like this. this morning, it seemed as if time stood still.
vi could be moving throughout the kitchen, you’d seen her do it several times while cooking, but she was also considerate. you knew that she’d never want to ruin your fun. dating vi meant that if she had to give little things up, she would. wether that meant her not moving an inch when you slept for hours on her lap, or staying still while cooking because your arms were around her, vi was sweet.
sweet in a way that not many people got to see.
and yet, you found yourself excited at the prospect of eating breakfast she had prepared because her cooking was always so damn good. not many people would think it, but with vi leading a group of ragtag teens and tweens- as well as being an older sister, she’d learned to cook quite young. she frequently cooked for herself, used whatever scraping the kitchen to throw together something edible.
she hadn’t put too much effort into making her meals nice since the incident on the bridge, until she met you. now she feels as if she has a point to prove. or maybe it’s just that she loves you.
“almost done, cupcake. you just sit down and be patient, okay?”
she says, voice laced with affection. you nod slowly, pouting the slightest bit behind her as you let go of her. but you sit down at her dining table, elbows propped as you observe her. it’s almost effortless the way that she moves. it’s admirable.
vi walks over to you, holding out a plate of simple blueberry pancakes. she knew you had a taste for sweet things. she sits down opposite you after you take the plate, a soft smile playing at her lips.
“are you gonna eat anything?”
you ask before you even pick up your fork. you don’t want to be selfish, not with vi especially.
“i already ate. woke up early today, fixed myself something, and figured you’d be up later.”
she says, pointing to your fork. cueing you to start eating. you do, picking up a knife as well to cut the stack into slices. after covering it in sweet syrup, you take a bite and immediately close your eyes in contentment. this is good.
“you didn’t have to do this, you know…”
“of course i did. i’m your girlfriend, remember?”
you sigh, continuing to eat. swallowing the last of what’s in your mouth before you speak to her again.
“but i’ve never done something like this before.”
you sigh, looking off to the side. you hear a low chuckle from your girlfriend.
“trust me, hun, you do plenty for me in other departments.”
this elicits a slight flush rising to your face, deciding to just focus on eating the rest of your pancakes. as you finish the last of the sliced bits, you look up to see vi wearing that same soft smile she wears whenever she’s genuinely admiring you. it’s adorable, one of your favorite looks your girlfriend gives you. one you’ve become accustomed to.
vi stands up to take your plate from you, but not before you tug on one of the straps of her sports bra to bring you to her level. moving your lips slowly against her own, free hand resting on the small of your back. she gives a light giggle as she presses back into you, toned arms slowly wrapping around your neck.
“i’ll do the laundry today, since you cooked.”
you say, face still mere millimeters from vi’s. she smiles softly before shaking her head.
“nope. you’re relaxing today.”
“but-”
“no.”
“you cooked for-”
vi shakes her head again, brushing your jawline with her lips.
“i cooked because i want you to take it easy, and i like doing things for you. now, you’re gonna take your pretty self to the couch, or bed, and relax. and i’ll do the work today. alright?”
you groan in slight annoyance, but sigh. you know there’s no winning when vi gets in these moods. she only wants to see you taken care of, and she’ll be damned if that isn’t what happens.
count on vi to always put the needs of others before her own. she’d gotten better at taking care of herself during your relationship, but the way she put your wants and needs before her own never wavered. if anything, it got stronger with time.
“alright. but i’ll still do things tomorrow.”
“you can do whatever you want tomorrow.”
she hums, sitting down on the chair you were previously using. her arms are still draped around your neck, pulling you to sit on her lap. the second you make contact with her thighs, her lips are on yours again.
it’s breathless, a bit more rushed than the delicate kiss you had shared a few moments prior. but it’s perfect, it’s vi. the way her scarred lips move against yours is always so skillful yet so sweet.
“i love you, okay? i just want you to unwind sometimes.”
you nod slowly, pressing your forehead to your girlfriend’s and closing your eyes.
“i love you too, babe. just feel a bit… bad, not doing anything in return.”
“i don’t want anything in return,” she whispers. “this-” she points between the two of you, “is more than enough.”
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suguru-getos · 3 days ago
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Genshin Impact Men on New Years:
Characters Included: Kinich, Ororon, Capitano <3
-> oh whooo is she? 👀 yes yes it’s me. I just wanna write on the new genshin babies and i’m so looking forward to it after finishing the Natlan archon quest. Genre: Fluff
-> Kinich:
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Normally, the saurian hunter wasn’t someone you’d ever see as your boyfriend. But surprisingly so, Kinish rose up the ranks in your heart. Even Ajaw is… less mean to you. You know that because whenever you visit the Scions of the canopy, you’re greeted fairly by Ajaw & it shocks the others. It’s been a few months since you & Kinich have been together. Today, on the New years eve, he doesn’t want to miss the golden chance of spending more time with you.
Be prepared with a table full of delicious feast, prepared by him & his friends. He takes you out in a special spot where the stars are a little more visible & where you can hear how his heart soars when he sees you. “I wanted to tell you something.” He hums, watching your face glisten under the moonlight sun. “Kinich, it’s almost New Years, you sure we should’ve left everyone else and come here?” You chuckle, eyes beaming in joy. He loves you so much. He is always the sensible one, why then, when its you, that his heart loses. Unfair.
“I wanted to share our New Years kiss in peace.” He hums, pulling you close by the waist, wrapping his hands around your body & brushing his lips with yours. The feeling sends jolts and tingles down your spine. The sound of his heart racing quickly masked with the cheers of people in a distance. “Oh— would you look at that. I kissed you for an entire year.” He winked. Dork. :3 you love him so bad <3
-> Ororon:
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Honestly, you never knew that someone as emo-looking as Ororon would ever become your boyfriend. You were new in Natlan & Citlali was one of the few people you were friendly to, Ororon calling her, Grand ma was hilarious. Until you knew why. Eventually, you noticed he brings his fresh produce for everyone who he’s fond of. Until, one of these days it was you. A stock of cabbages, freshly grown by Ororon, a beaming grin on his face as he hums, “Y/N, I have brought something for you.” He smiles. You often wonder why you’re so drawn to his child-like, almost innocent smile & the way he just wants to please you all the time. “You know that’s way too many cabbages for a single person, right?” You chuckle, snorting as he pouts cutely. “Well, yeah, but I just wanted to dedicate this produce to my crush & eventually, hopefully, er- my future girlfriend.”
Oh smooth. He did make you feel a tingle in your heart & he did make you feel like you were seen and heard after a long while. After Natlan was saved by the Archon, you & Ororon decided to take a trip to your homeland, to Sumeru. You settled in Puspa cafe with him, countdowning for the New Years together. “I am glad you decided to come to Sumeru with me.” You purred as he kisses your forehead. “I am glad that you brought me with you.” You chuckled, holding his hand and count downing together.
“Three, two…” and when the clock changed, you kissed Ororon, and he smiled. He has been wanting to say this to you but waited for this exact same moment. “I love you, Y/N.” He hums, catching you by surprise. “What?” Before you could smile and reply, he leaned in and kissed your neck briefly. “I really love you.” He smiled, kissing your forehead. You chuckled, how cute- “I love you too, Ororon.”
-> Capitano:
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The embrace of Capitano, big & warm despite the pain & grief he continuously carried. “I missed you, my love.” He brushes against your hair, kissing below your neck. He loved cuddles with you, loved the way your body nudged against him. His body, being the perfect big plushie for you to hug. “I missed you too.” You purred, when you first saw this man, he was the Fatui Harbinger that made Everyone cower. He was famous for being as strong as Archons themselves. For a man of that stature to bring you a bouquet of roses everyday after work as long as you’re in Snezhnaya? Unreal.
“I have formulated some new years plans, my love.” He suggests, taking you by a pleasant surprise. “Hmm, what? You are always couped up by work, and I am often not in Snezhnaya; when else would we spend time?” He croons, the big, dangerous & sexy man famous in all of the Nations in Tevyat is planning a date. Hehe, how adorable, you think.
“What is the date plan?” You turn to straddle his lap instead, nuzzling against his chest. He smells different, smells like rugged leather & rum. You can’t quite put a finger on it, but you love it.
And he does make extravagant date plans, but your New Year’s Eve together is a little different. Capitano decided to cook for you. He made all the Snezhnayan dishes, some very own of his, belonging to Khan’ria. You were delighted that he can be so domesticated and so kind. Enjoying a fulfilling dinner on his lap, hearing stories that you’re sure makes his heart bloom… it’s enchantingly relaxing.
And when the clock strucks into the next year, you can’t help but be happily indulged in the process of falling in love with him, all over again. Dancing with him & kissing him lovingly. Tenderly.
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comeforthepizza · 2 days ago
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TW: Pedophilia Men., Abuse Men.
Note: I've talked some about people in the past, but I don't want to name any specific names here to keep the peace of myself and my loved ones in the fandom. That being said, I will openly suggest staying away from the Showbiz Mafia as an entity. If you don't know what that is- you're already on the right track!
Okay. So. I wanna take a step back and rewrite the post I wrote yesterday with a clearer mind. Because a lot of it came from a genuine place, but I want to make my point clearer/less aggressive.
I love the Rock-afire. I want to keep making content for it. I was in an exasperated place yesterday, but today I've resolved not to let terrible people destroy something that has meant so much to me since I was a kid.
But the gist of it is: this fandom has a genuine problem with terrible people. And I don't mean slightly mean people, I mean bullies. I mean predators. I mean abusers, manipulators, suicide baiters. And what's just as scary are the people who seem nice but will turn on you and go to bat for any of these people in the blink of an eye.
I'm genuinely glad that a lot of people have responded to my posts about predatory behavior in the fandom with actual surprise, because it means that there's a part of the fandom that's spearheaded by genuinely goodhearted people who are here because they love Showbiz, and because they want to make friends with other people who love Showbiz. I LOVE the Tumblr side of the Showbiz fandom, because y'all have such a legitimate passion for it. As far as I know, the problem has NOT made it here.
But I've witnessed a lot of it firsthand in other spaces. If not the abhorrent behavior outright- adults preying on teenagers, doxing, death threats- then definitely people outwardly defending the behavior, or the people who did it. And that makes me genuinely sick to my stomach. And it's teaching a LOT of kids- especially young boys- that this behavior is okay as long as you have a solid collection.
My enjoyment of the Rock-afire comes secondhand to the real problem here: that too many spaces in this fandom are facilitating a place where REAL people are GENUINELY getting hurt. And too many fandom members are banding together to protect the people responsible for that pain.
That being said, I warrant you: protect yourselves. I'm not trying to cause anything, I'm not trying to tell you that you can't trust anyone in this fandom, but I am saying that personal safety is more important than EVER in Showbiz spaces. Trust me when I say the block button is your friend. If ANYONE- and I mean ANYONE- says anything that makes you uncomfortable, block them! Even if they're a prominent fandom member, they have no real power.
You have a right to curate your fandom experience in a way that keeps you safe. NEVER let ANYONE tell you otherwise.
TL;DR: Please understand that while there may not be a predator/bullying problem in the Rock-afire fandom on Tumblr, there definitely is in other spaces. Always put your own safety and protection above a pervy adult's feelings. Love you guys. <3
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xclowniex · 3 days ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/vilecrocodile/771953086752292864?source=share
Thoughs on this review of The Brutalist ( recent movie about the creation of Israel from an architectural standpoint)?
Okay so I hadn't heard of the movie when I saw this ask but the cinema across the road is showing it and I had nothing planned during the day so I went and saw it.
That review is just literal brainrot. The best way i can sum it up is "i dont view the holocaust as traumatic and i think that israel only exists to kill Palestinians. To disect it bit by bit
"There are no mentions of Palestinians already living there" - the focus on the movie is not the creation of Israel. It's a sub plot. In movies, subplots aren't always fleshed out in every possible way, this is the norm with movies. The focus and point of the story is following a holocaust survior immigrate to Amercia and through his experiences in the US, his decision of leaving to try to build a life in the newly formed state of Israel or stay in an already established country where he experiences oppression, but could make more money and better support himself than if he went to Israel. The creation of Israel is not the main or even b plot, its the c plot of the movie.
"As we move forward in time, we are presented with scenes whose ideological purpose is to convince you that life in Amercia is too hard" - literally am begging the writer to read any jewish literature on how it was being jewish in Amercia after the holocaust. Jews were treated as immigrants as jews in that time period WERE immigrants. All the bigotry targeted towards immigrants also affects jews. Then you also have antisemitic hate crimes being a common thing during that time. Just because the US fought Nazi's, doesn't mean the US government or its citizens liked jews.
The antisemitic slur kike is literally born from amercian antisemitism. It is derived from the Yiddish world for circle, as when jews immigrated, they couldn't sign their name at the x, as the x meant a cross, as in a Christian cross, so had to sign next to a circle.
But of course considering they went into the movie with bias, I am unsurprised that they are uneducated on jewish oppression in Amercia.
"Nothing about how the act of moving to partake in the act of genocide" - because people didn't move to genocide Palestinians. The state of Israel's reason for existence has literally nothing to do about palestinians. It's about jewish self determination. That we should be able to govern ourselves, especially when every government in the world apart from a handful has tried to kill us at some point in time. Palestinians are only relevant when we get into discussions of how to execute this self governing, because it does affect them too.
And it all honestly stems back to Nazi propaganda. The Nazi party was inspired by the protocols of the elder Zions, which is fictional antisemitic minutes of the real first zionist meeting. The first antizionists couldn't give two shits about palestinians, it was about preventing jews from having a safe haven so it was easier to kill us. By spreading falsehoods about why Israel exists and lying and saying Amercia has always been 100% safe for jews, you are simply upholding the original values of the first antizionists. That it's much better for the world if we live in places which are unsafe and people want to kill us rather than compromise with palestinians and have a peaceful two state solution which the original UN proposal which everyone agreed upon was back in 1947. And this also erases the indigenousness of jews to eretz yisrael which was also widely accepted by most countries at the time period.
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The movie was in the works before oct 7th. Again, Israel as a country was not formed to murder Palestinians. And then they're also engaging in the "all jews are rich" trope by acting as if all zionists, so therefore 90% of jews are rich. I know more zionist jews who aren't rich than those who are rich. I myself am not rich. Zionism also has nothing to do with how much money one has. The movie also is LITERALLY a critique of capitalism. Like the movie goes "capitalism bad" but I guess because it's about da evil rich money hoarding joos, it's actually a pro capitalism movie 🙄.
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Oh wow an individual architect who engages in brutalist architecture doesn't want to be political!!! Oh the horror! I cannot believe that people don't all fit into these neat categories!!!!! Everyone must adhere to strict definitions of what it means for a person who is interested in a thing!
Like genuinely wtf is wrong with this person. Brutalist architecture being a political statement AND a dude exploring his trauma and PTSD from literally being in a concentration camp but not wanting to be political can both coexist. They aren't competing ideas. God forbid anyone tries to work through their trauma in a nonharmful way (designing architecture) which doesn't adhere to your specific ideas of working through trauma.
"Later brutalist works are left out of the film" God forbid a movie doesn't go on a tangent and have a documentary within the movie.
Also the mental gymnastics to go "this man turning to brutalist architecture as a way to deal with holocaust ptsd is obviously him stealing brutalist architecture, just like how jews stole hummus"
Also have you even seen a kibbutz???? Literally fits your community orientation that you're going on and on about.
This whole review is literally someone who only wants their perspective or one they can relate to shared in media.
And that is honestly dangerous to media. We should be depicting various experiences and perspectives through media, even ones we don't agree with. Wanting only a highly specific perspective shown in media is literally media control. No one is forcing you to watch media you don't like. I myself am personally not a fan of the movie as I found it too long with slow pacing and not of a genre I enjoy, but I'm not going to spew propaganda about the movie.
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callixton · 7 months ago
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i think the thing to understand abt martha jones is that even after she leaves she is five seconds away from dropping everything and traveling with the doctor at any given time. bc that itch to blow everything up and damn her personal duty to hell in search of a higher call never leaves her. but martha is smart. and rational. and has spent a long fucking time needing to keep herself safe. (bc he comes when she calls but never before.) and so she has gotten very good at keeping herself on the right side of those five seconds. but i do think if ten was a different person (if he could acknowledge how much he needed her instead of just how much he liked her) (if he didn’t feel this righteous martyrdom when it comes to being left alone) (if he cared enough about her to beg. if he cared enough about himself.) i think that her answer no would come crumbling down pretty quickly is all.
#MARTHA JONES’ TWISTED SENSE OF DUTY YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME#there is soo much nuance to this. obviously. and it really varies depending on when exactly in his run we’re talking#but me personally. i don’t think that martha was ever satisfied with the way things ended between them. i think she made peace with it!#but i don’t think she was satisfied and i don’t think she ever could be#which is also why i have slowly come around to her and mickey. even tho i think it IS very pair the spares in a way i don’t like#i do think they make sense together. in a genuine way and also in a you’re the closest i’ll get to what i want. you’re good on your own but#- you’re also the next best thing. and we don’t need to say this out loud bc we both know and it wouldn’t ruin anything by admitting it but#- it sure as hell wouldn’t feel good either#it’s not even like. directly about the doctor/rose here is the thing. it’s about the life he let them lead with him#which i guess is the crux of this. i think martha is capable of moving on from her Feelings for the doctor. but never her feelings about him#yknow. does that make sense. if anyone knows that the doctor is a symbol it’s martha#i don’t think she’s always in love with him. i think she was. tho my opinions on that r complicated hashtag tenmartha qpr BUT#but the IDEA of him? the idea which shaped her into a completely different person? i don’t think she will ever not want that back @ her core#she’s just too loyal to everyone besides herself to admit that. 😐#ok it’s 4 am i have been rambling abt this for fifteen minutes so sorry if it doesn’t make sense but i have FEELINGS ABT HER !!#ted talks#martha jones#doctor who
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llilychen · 6 months ago
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it’s really sad that i always looked forward to rhaenyra and/or alicent scenes last season but i now feel the urge to fast forward every time one of them comes on screen
- every alicent scene is her looking sad or crying or her with cole but nothing she does adds anything of value to the plot
- we get the same black council scene in which the men are undermining rhaenyra twice per episode and still nothing is done (i do believe she will make some progress in the next episodes but it’s just so boring to watch her have the same scene over and over again)
cersei and dany i miss you both so much
#and there are other characters in the show that are so much more interesting but but don’t get the screen time they deserve#and i know that they’re women and they have to face these struggles for it to be realistic but they did that last season too and they found#a way for it to not be repetitive#but rhaenyra just being so soft and always looking for peace is just so frustrating especially after how season 2 ended up#and obviously she’s the rightful heir and the better option for the iron throne but oh my god they have made her character so uninteresting#to watch#and i really liked rhaenyra in s1 and i thought she had a lot of potential as a character#in a show where the majority of the characters are supposed to be morally grey (even if done clumsily) she doesn’t stand out#and what has become of alicent is worse because she’s not even doing anything anymore but she’s still being forced into the story#with random plot lines#i wish they would just let the characters be and give them as much screen time as they need#and i don’t want to watch a show about good team vs bad team i wish they have given rhaenyra more complexity#because even though aegon sucks and they made him the worse thing a person can be and unredeemable#i am unfortunately not bored whenever he is onscreen#and i think so far they have established that the targaryens suck so many times even if they do good things every once in a while#aegon sucks viserys sucks aemond sucks dany sucks daemon sucks#all of them to different extents and in different ways ofc#but let my girl rhaenyra suck a little too because she deserves it 😫#she lost her father her son her daughter her throne let her be a little more like she was in the book#she was not a saint and her character deserves to not be reduced to being a good peaceful queen#hotd negativity#anti hotd#i must also say that i am a casual fan im not here to make analysis of the characters or discuss whether plot lines from the book should#have been changed#im not watching the show critically and this is just something i have noticed and has bothered me every time a new episode drops
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iniziare · 7 months ago
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Tag drop: Dorian Pavus
#[ dorian pavus. ] he says we're alike. too much pride. once i would have been overjoyed to hear him say that. now I'm not certain.#[ dorian pavus: ic. ] you find joy in it not shame. it shows. / why be ashamed? power should be respected. not swept under the carpet.#[ dorian pavus: inquiries. ] stop talking like you're waiting for applause. / what? there's no applause?#[ dorian pavus: countenance. ] i'm here to set things right. also? to look dashing. that part's less difficult.#[ dorian pavus: introspection. ] selfish i suppose. not to want to spend my entire life screaming on the inside.#[ dorian pavus: meta. ] you inspired me with your marvelous antics. you’re shaping the world. how could i aspire to do any less?#[ dorian pavus: etc. ] you can't call me pampered. nobody's peeled a grape for me in weeks.#[ dorian pavus: magic. ] don't your spells whisper things to you? what is and could be? music in the mind of strange faraway places?#[ dorian pavus: inquisition. ] we're going to get lost and starve to death. aren't we? a glorious end for the inquisition.#[ dorian pavus: tevinter. ] despite appearances. we care deeply. about everything. we have no reserve. not in war and not in love.#[ dorian pavus: felix. ] even in illness he was the best of us. with him around you knew things could be better.#[ dorian pavus: gereon. ] we used to talk about how we could make real change in the imperium. then he gave up. he stopped trying.#[ dorian pavus: halward. ] i only wanted what was best for you. / no. you wanted the best for you. your fucking legacy.#[ dorian pavus: aquinea. ] her blame was cold and smothering. never spoken but always present. he couldn't face that. not yet.#[ dorian pavus: inquisitor. ] you have too many people asking you for everything under the sun. i won't be one of them.#[ dorian pavus: solas. ] you startled me. you're always so... nondescript. / please speak up. i cannot hear you over your outfit.#[ dorian pavus: varric. ] what do you think sparkler? ten royals says the next thing we run into farts fire. / taken i win either way.#[ dorian pavus: cullen. ] gloat all you like. i have this one. / are you sassing me commander? i didn't know you had it in you.#[ dorian pavus: cassandra. ] blue scarf? why would i be wearing such a thing? / It's a painting. work with me. it'll be fantastic.#[ dorian pavus: cole. ] you say you're handsome all the time. am i? i can't tell. / you're all right. might want to rethink the hats.#[ dorian pavus: vivienne. ] i received a letter the other day dorian. / truly? it's nice to know you have friends.#[ dorian pavus: blackwall. ] point is. you should let yourself off the hook. i know bad men and you're not one.#[ dorian pavus: sera. ] you magic me: i'll put three arrows in your eye. / now we can live together in peace and harmony.#[ dorian pavus: bull. ] no qunari would accept a tevinter mage unless it was a ruse. when should i expect a knife in the back?#[ dorian pavus: corypheus. ] one of yours? / one of mine? like a pet? a giant darkspawn hamster with aspirations of godhood?#[ dorian pavus: v. inquisition. ] one of mine? like a pet? like a giant darkspawn hamster with aspirations of godhood?#[ dorian pavus: v. veilguard. ] evil gods. rituals. waiting for the stars. it's about as tevinter as blood magic and hubris.#tag drop
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moe-broey · 2 months ago
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Like what was the POINT. Of stowing away baby Reginn just to be SO MEAN TO HER. Because of your UNRESOLVED ISSUES‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
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spacedlexi · 1 year ago
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me collecting every vague line about minnie to piece together what kind of person she really was pre-delta
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#when marlons about to kill clem and he tries to sway vi by asking her what minnie would do#1) so fucked of him#but 2) what WOULD she want her to do in that situation?? shoot clem???#like did pre delta minnie already have some questionable ideas about the best way to keep the peace?#like she Does end up killing her sister and tries to get the rest of them kidnapped bc she sees submitting to the delta as the safer option#i know shes Fucked Up post delta but like howd we get here... whats the root of this. to be willing to murder your twin sister...#so like what is he insinuating here?? and it almost makes vi step down??#and clems the one who has to fully convince her to save her#vi convinced by clem to stand up for what she believes is right :) and to not just stand down and let shit happen#vi feeling like she failed the twins by not asking questions about what happened to them and is not gonna let it happen to clem and aj#leading to vi taking on a leadership role bc SOMEONE has to be a voice of reason around here#minnies reaction to hearing violets in charge is SO telling. she doesnt believe it and shes BITING about it too#the tension the resentment the insult the quick turn from 'im so glad youre alive' to 'fuck you too' was their relationship always likethis#violet doesnt even fight back just hunches into herself and takes it#what does it mean what does it all mean#this is why i go silly mode when i think about minnie and esp her relationship w violet like there are so many pieces to this puzzle#minnie killed the version of herself ericsons recognized when she killed sophie and there was no coming back from that#but how much of what we see in minnie post delta was always in there somewhere? to keep them safe by any means necessary?#or keep herself safe? like marlon. who DID want to keep them all safe but feared for his own safety above all else? protection his excuse#'if you just do what they say you can live.be rewarded. just like i am' those are the words of a girl who killed her sister to save herself#and like when its Too Late for her she wants to take tenn down with her too so like....theres a lot of selfishness in her actions#the fact you dont hear that line in the louis route is craaazy to me its says SO MUCH ABOUT HER CHARACTER#i need to stop thinking so hard about this but i Cant every time i think about minnie i go down this rabbit hole#twdg#it speaks#im supposed to be working on hw...........
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dootznbootz · 11 months ago
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There's something so specifically infuriating when someone uses one of your experiences or your demographic in an argument, especially if said argument is about spreading hatred or is just so wrong. They "speak on behalf of the ___" to say such fucked shit.
"You're not thinking of the ___!"
"I literally am ___. You saying that adds nothing as you do not speak for me or for other ___. Shut up."
#I really really hate it. It angers me in such a specific way that just skldjf ksdl#...#vent below. idk. I'm really sorry#Mad rambles#Terfs will be like “oh think of survivors! 'MEN' can share women's spaces!” like shut the actual fuck up. SHUT UP. Shut your damn mouth#A terf is so much more dangerous than a trans person. Me. a tiny cis woman is so much more dangerous to a terf than a transperson is.#Because I will obliterate you. How dare you say you speak on MY behalf? As if I don't know what I'm fucking talking about.#as if you're “protecting me” by spewing such bullshit? by treating someone as a danger when they're not?!#Especially when they believe it's a fucking TRUMP CARD. Like mentioning it means they're right!!! when obviously they're not!!!#Or when they think the fact that I'm cis will make me agree with them! I'm cis simply because I am. I'm not better or worse because of it#being cis doesn't mean I'm fine with bullshit though!#I really hate feeling almost as if like...idk I'm “known” for talking about this but it's just so so infuriating. people will act like they#know when they don't. Obviously every experience is different and terfs who are survivors I hope you find peace and my heart goes out to yo#but you also need to get your fucking head outta your ass. Saying such things isn't the way to heal and you're hurting others with it.#It's NOT about hating men or trans people! the “men are always violent/women are always victims” mentality needs to fuck off#as if it's just the script of life and that it's inescapable no matter what. that it's the truth even if circumstances say otherwise.#...I'm going to possibly block the epic tag for a bit. I have the name of the saga blocked but like... It's just genuinely upsetting.#my story got picked apart too on how it wasn't actually that bad. that I'm actually the fucking worst. “Men are just like that sweetie”#BULLSHIT!!! Gender doesn't dictate a person's morals. Being good and kind does. It doesn't matter what form that takes!#not even saying HE'S good and kind as he's horrible and wonderful at the same time but about this stuff? Do what you want but#I DO think you're insane if you see it as otherwise and it makes me wanna lock my door. You're not a bad person probably but also 🙃#I get that there's history but there's also the fucking TEXT.#I don't know. I'm really sorry#tw trauma#tw sa mention#I'm not necessarily against reblogging this (I don't care) but don't post with tags. please
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noxtivagus · 2 years ago
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:^)
#🌙.tbd#start of the year n yk i already fucked up#last night i slept nearly 4 n today has been.. a mess already to say the least#but i think it'll be even more pathetic of me to let my shortcomings hinder me#even if it hurts i will and definitely will challenge myself to get back up even higher#but.. i really do mean it when i say humans being yk. social beings r my weakness#i mean it's weird bcs one cld consider so many aspects of humanity to be weak but they also make us strong n#it's a bit too much at times for my sensitive self#anything to do with other ppl is just my weakness. i just can't be enough for it in a way#it hurts when there's always so much i'd love to tell my friends n family but i just can't seem to.. yeah#i crave authenticity so much it hurts. i'm so sick of this world n how#yk all the dishonesty that exists. all the facades n fake bs n everything. i hate it so much#when i just.. want to live like myself. to just be free from all those restrains n barriers to living more meaningfully#n i could just write. yk maybe when i turn 18 i'll really try to write very lengthy letters of what the people in my life mean to me#i really just. want to give that. for no particular reason other than i really want to bcs i really mean it#sometimes i hate how sensitive n emotional i am. how it hurts me n ends up hurting others n tears me even further apart#but then perhaps it's.. in a way when it's not Too much. it's smth special in this world with so much hate n lies n pain n injustice#emotional ppl who r intelligent as well rlly have a special place in my heart.#ahh.. i rlly don't know what i'm writing anymore i feel so bad n so helpless w my incapability rn#life is of the journey. of how we overcome our sufferings. of memories n people. of hope. of love and peace.#but even though yk overcoming pain n sad stuff adds more meaning to yk ^^ yh it's still..#i don't know how to say it right now. bcs there's sm pain that rlly. shldn't have happened? so much injustice..#but more than that pain the reason why humanity is so special to me is how we learn to live yk n yh#' maybe theres virtua in emptiness but still i drown in distress ' that lyrics rlly comforted me. that whole song#virtue* 😭 wahh my tears have dries i'll shower in a bit n. someway somehow i'll find my way. do things better. so long as i move forward.#there's no hope for something better if no future exists.#so as long as we all keep living. i think that's enough#n life isn't meant to be lived by just one person so.. i'm rlly gna do my best. i'm gna do better.
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kavehater · 6 months ago
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Do I have to start saying not that anyone would care in that super duper passive aggressive way to guilt people into caring or what
#dora daily#I’m so tired#the one thing I’ve consistently wanted since I was a kid was to be cared about and seen 😜#yet I can’t even seem to get that ☠️ I honest to god am so tired like every day is another futile attempt to try to engineer what I say#specifically for the purpose of me hoping someone ANYONE would care#how I used to be sick when I was younger because I saw that the kids who would get sick or would get sad would get sm care and love but#I was stupid because I didn’t account for the fact that when I was sick I had to just suck it up or when I was sad I need to stop being such#a crybaby and get over it#what if I say I’ve had enough of just being shamelessly used by others for me to comfort them through their problems#but I always have everything thrown back at my face because somehow when it’s my turn my problems are uncomfortable or awkward#I don’t have energy for a single thing yet I force myself to talk to at least one person and trying to fix my relationship with just#literally talking it shouldn’t be that hard but I feel so worthless that even speech is impossible and makes me feel like I will literally#die. it’s been working kinda but now I just can’t help but feel so sick to my stomach about all this my head hurts really bad and I’m trying#not to cry and trying my hardest to make peace with the fact that in truth nobody will ever like me enough to care at all ever#not my mum not my dad or my siblings and certainly not my friends either#I’m so tired of always begging and pleading for someone to just notice I’m here too#or maybe it’s specific people#it’s so cruel to say all those overly nice things to me and not act on them#why else was I so psychotic about that girl ? obviously because she would shower me with the nicest things I’ve ever heard#but she says that to everyone she’s not consistent with me and we aren’t really friends#ik it wasn’t her intention but it doesn’t change the fact I have wanted to and I’m not even over exaggerating but actually off myself#because this is just proof I’m around to serve people’s dirty work and clean messes when I can’t even stand on my two feet anyways#isn’t it so stupid I’m just talking to myself here and most likely nobody will ever see it meaning this was just useless yet again#and the fact i can’t be free ever nor can i do anything about this to permanently end things because i am a coward and because the worst#part is that even after death I shall be tormented anyways#and let’s say I somehow survive an attempt I will literally be scarred for life and then I’d rlly want to be dead#it’s the way not even death can be a solace for this because there would only be more torture#I can’t leave this religion because leaving won’t change the truth but I’m so tired and worn thin of every single responsibility in my life#even tho I don’t have much the few I do have feel excruciating#life is too much and death is worse so why couldn’t my mum who’s strong willed said no to my dads family and not gotten married period 🧍‍♀️
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megroha · 8 months ago
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tired tired
#ok venting for a moment#everything is so much all the time and i'm always saying this#right now everything is far far too much i think#and it always has been but i've gotten good at ignoring it#it only takes One negative external force to break the facade and make me remember how bad it all is#i really do try#but its always someone or something else that brings me back down here#i really try#anyways i won't be able to get my meds for a while due to stock problems and i do not feel good about this#really not at all#just waiting for the situation in my household to snap also because there's only so long i can effectively ignore the people i live with#even if i was able to form the words to talk about things. they are not typically able to listen or understand in any way#i do not know what is going to happen#but its like i've been stuck in a very slow and subtle state of panic for around 2 days now and my chest hurts and my bones hurt#i dont feel good hehe#if a particularly intense and productive hyperfixation could hit rn that would be great. please#but i am going to be braindead for a while without my meds so thats a big hope!#i just need some time and some peace and to be left alone in my space#i probably need the events and issues causing me stress to resolve but i don't see how they will!#and i just feel its not my job since i'm not the one causing them!#now i think i just need to remember and hold onto how this has hurt me and why i'm allowed to feel hurt#i'm allowed to be bitter about it because i was deceived and betrayed and lied to#i am really trying
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targaryen-dynasty · 8 months ago
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REDAMANCY.
Cregan Stark x female Targaryen!Reader (Part 4 here)
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From the very beginning on you’ve been hesitant to accept your younger brother’s offer to return to the capital for your child to receive his blessings. And when you‘re finally on the way, it’s your husband‘s duty to take care of you.
WARNINGS: SEXUAL CONTENT-MDNI; p in v, lactation kink, lactating, pregnant sex, pregnancy, slight breeding kink, praise kink, slight degrading, angst, fluff
WORDS: 3.3 K
NOTES: Redamancy means A love returned in full; an act of loving the one who loves you, and let me tell you: these two are in love. Thanks to @sylasthegrim, it‘s always good to know you help me with my zero grasp on English!
✖️ 𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!
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Ravens from Winterfell flying all the way down to King’s Landing has always taken quite some time. And therefore it was no wonder you were surprised that one of your younger brother’s ravens reached the castle not long after you'd informed him you were with child, inviting you to birth it in the Red Keep for it to receive the young king’s blessings.
Being the ever dutiful Lord of House Stark, there was no way your husband would refuse the offer, and once your pregnancy had crossed the seventh moon mark, a carriage and your husband’s entourage were sent south.
From the very beginning on you’ve been hesitant to accept the offer. Westeros’ capital has brought nothing but pain and grief to you, and you’re afraid coming back ruins the comfort and peace you’ve found far, far away from the castle in the North, in Winterfell. But a part of you misses and longs for your siblings and the part of your family that’s still left, hence it didn’t take too much convincing from your husband.
You’ve lost count of the days you spent in that damned carriage by now, solely accompanied by your maids as your dear husband rides at the front of his entourage, joining his men on horseback. But there’s one thing all days have in common: it’s you being exhausted beyond relief once night comes.
For the longest time you thought your unborn babe to be no-fussy and calm, which proved to be false just one week into the travel. It’s restless, kicking and moving especially when you finally find rest in the bed of the receptive inn you stay in for the night. Your feet are swollen, just like your breasts, and your body provides milk as though the babe has been long born already, and all you crave at this point is for the pregnancy to be over already.
As the wheelhouse comes to a stop, you rub your swollen bump with a sigh, looking toward the door with heavy footsteps approaching. Your beloved husband opens the door, and even though he won’t admit it, he looks just as exhausted as you do.
“Is it time?” you ask, slowly rising to your feet with another sigh. You place your small hand in his large one, allowing him to help you out.
He nods, bringing a hand to the small of your back. “Indeed. We have reached the crossroads. From here we are only ten days away from King’s Landing, which means the end of our journey is in sight,” he replies. “How are you and our son feeling?”
Cregan guides you away from the wheelhouse, escorting you through the crowd of his men towards a large inn sitting right where the river road crosses the kingsroad. And from old tales of your uncle you know it has to be the Bellringer Inn, a place where even your great-grandfather and great-grandmother have stayed at before.
“We do not yet know if this babe will be a boy or a girl, husband,” you chastise him in a teasing manner.
“You are right, we do not,” he says. “But I feel it in my bones. Just call it a father’s intuition.”
You roll your eyes at his words and nudge his ribs with your elbow, yet there also pulls a smile at the corners of your lips. He chuckles at that. “Careful, my love, I am not as nimble as I used to be.”
Shaking your head, you giggle softly. “Do not tell me that you are an old man now, Lord Stark.”
As you make your way through the courtyard and towards the inn, you can feel the curious glances of the passerby; a man of Cregan’s caliber always drew the attention toward him, just like your hair did. But you’re unbothered by it all. You carry a piece of your husband within you, and that thought fills you with a sense of fulfillment and pride.
He looks for the innkeeper as you reach for his hand, pulling it from your back around your frame, squeezing it softly. “Might you join me tonight? I know that you can not leave your men alone, but one night will surely do no harm. I must admit that I have hardly found sleep without your warmth for the past weeks.”
With a gentle, intimate gesture, Cregan brushes his fingers over your swollen bump, before pulling you against his side. “How can I ever be expected to refuse anything my beautiful wife asks of me? Of course I will join you tonight.” Leaning a bit closer toward you, he adds with a quiet whisper: “Your presence has been missed in my bed as well. The nights feel cold and lonely without you by my side.”
Heat crawls onto your cheeks at the proximity and the slight implication that comes with his words, solely interrupted when a stout man with a bushy beard but otherwise pleasant demeanor walks around the corner and welcomes you two.
Upon Cregan’s inquiry about the availability of a room, he hands over the keys and leads you toward your place of retreat for the night. More than once have you told Cregan you’re perfectly fine with sleeping in a tent with him, yet he always came back to your delicate condition, stating he only wants the best for you and his unborn child, and you eventually have given up and accepted it.
The room is decent. Not as big as your chambers at home, but still larger than what you’ve slept in for the last few weeks. Your maids already scurry into the room to bring some of your belongings and clothes to get you ready for the night, while Cregan leans in to kiss your temple. “Let me arrange for my man to sleep outside the inn for the night,” he mutters against your skin. “And then we shall spend the night in warm beds.”
Even with your maids bustling around you, you can’t help but feel a flicker of excitement at his words. The prospect of sharing the night with him is enough to make you forget the soreness of your swollen curves that has become a constant companion over the past few moons.
“I will freshen up in the meantime,” you say, leaning into his touch before he pulls away to take care of his men’s sleeping arrangements for the night. Once everything was adjusted in the chambers, your maids moved to help you out of your clothes, but you refused them, having planned something very special.
Standing in front of the small window, overlooking a stable with a thatch roof and a bell tower, you all but admire how quietly Cregan opens the door, and with the lock falling right into place behind him, the room grows even quieter and the atmosphere becomes charged with anticipation.
“Is everything sorted?” you ask, looking at him from over your shoulder.
“All set,” your husband replies with a low voice as he approaches you.
He comes to tower over your frame from behind, moving his hands over your hips up to your waist. Lifting your head, your eyes lock with his. “Alone at last, hm?” There’s a sultry smile on your lips now, and you gently reach behind you to cup his cheek with one hand. “Now you’re all mine for the night.”
You lean against his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breaths against your back. Cregan seizes the opportunity and brushes your hair over one shoulder before he presses his lips to the crook of your neck. The touch makes you sigh, stirring something inside of you you have had to keep at bay for quite some time. When he brings his large hands to your swollen breasts, fondling them through the thick fabric of your dress, you can’t help but moan, the slight squeezing aiding against the heaviness.
But then his hands and lips leave your body, and he slightly leans around you to look at you – or rather your breasts – and you immediately know the reason why.
The gray fabric has become damp under his touch, two dark spots prominent in the front of it. While it brings a bit of shame to your cheeks, the low rumble that escapes his chest sends a fire straight down between your legs. “I should have warned you I started leaking a fortnight ago,” you admit ashamedly, biting your bottom lip.
“I quite enjoy the sight of it, you know,” he says, voice laced with a combination of awe, adoration and burning need. His hands shift to the lace in the back of your dress. “But let us put this to good use.”
The dress comes undone with ease, falling to the floor in a puddle around your feet. Damp spots are decorating your smallclothes, but this time you don’t mind the sight. Cregan’s hands now roam over your body, tracing the curve of your waist and your growing bump.
Although you know exactly what it is his words are meant to imply, you choose to tease him. “And what is it you have in mind right now, hm?”
His gray eyes briefly flicker to the bed close to you, before meeting yours again. “I have a few things in mind. But for now…” He cups your chin, tilting your head up so he can claim your lips in a slow, deep kiss that’s full of desire and passion. It makes you feel as though the air is sucked right out of your lungs by him, as if you can’t survive without his lips on yours. “How about we make the most of this night, my love?”
“I’m all yours,” you breathe against his lips.
His large hands roam your curves, helping you out of your undergarments, until they settle at your thighs, wrapping around them to effortlessly hoist you up. Although Cregan is quite the bull of a man and appears to be a brute, he possesses a tenderness you wouldn’t expect from him, gently keeping your body against his and lying you down on the bed not far away just as carefully.
Soft, gentle kisses are pressed to your collarbones, igniting a fire within you that has been smoldering for too long. As his fingers glide over your skin with featherlight touches, leaving a burning trail behind, he finds his hands drawn to your full breasts, cupping and holding them, and eventually squeezing them.
More droplets of your milk trickle into his calloused palms, wetting his skin, but he does not care–not when he has you writhing and whimpering beneath him at just the faintest of touches.
Your husband’s eagerness would have almost made you chuckle, watching him rise from the bed to rid himself off his clothes hastily, if it wouldn’t match your own desire and greediness. With his breeches falling to the ground, his cock stands to full attention, hard enough for it to almost seem painful.
His hungry gazes devours your bare form, tall frame slightly hunched forwards as his chest rises and falls with heavy breaths.
“Will you just stand there and watch, my wolf?” you tease, propping yourself up on your elbows. “What happened to ‘let us put this to good use’?”
It’s the teasing lilt in your voice that pulls him out of his stupor like a wave, the chuckle he releases low and throaty. “You are a temptress, my love,” he replies. “You are lucky I am a man of my word.”
“Then touch me,” you whine, words coming out more desperate than actually intended.
He doesn’t need any more encouragement. Slowly approaching the bed, Cregan bows forwards and grabs one of your feet. He lifts your leg and starts to trail sloppy, open mouthed kisses along the inside of your leg, occasionally nibbling on the skin of your inner thigh.
Your back slightly arches off the mattress, body thrumming with desire. Entangling your hands in his dark curls, you use the grip as reigns to where you want him most, but your husband acts completely unfazed, not allowing you to tug him higher up.
He takes his time, kissing and nibbling your thighs, before he boldly presses a kiss to the apex of your legs, tongue briefly dragging through your folds. It elicits a shudder in its wake, and you can’t stifle a moan.
Making his way up, he licks your navel, and eventually traces the curve of your full breast, circling your hardened bud. Cregan laps up every drop of milk that oozes out of your bud like nothing else than a starved wolf, the edge of his teeth applying just a faint pressure to the sensitive skin to stimulate the flow.
But when his other hand comes up to fondle and squeeze your other breast, that’s the moment you lose your composure, shamelessly smothering him with your breasts. “Gods, Cregan…” you whimper, immediately bringing you relief. There isn’t even time to waste a thought about the indecency of it all, not when it feels just so right.
It’s your mewls, your whispered whines and moans, the sound of you saying his name in such a desperate manner that drives him to continue. “You make me ache for you,” he rasps against your skin, voice thick with desire. Your husband never falters to ignite a fire inside of you with his words, especially when there’s an innuendo hidden between his praises.
Bringing his hand from your breast down between your bodies, he aligns himself with you, dragging the tip of his cock through your folds in a way that makes you bite back a moan and grind against him. You grip his dark curls harshly as he finally eases inside, pushing into you inch by inch, agonizingly slow to make sure you feel him enter you.
His suckling falters with the tightness of your walls embracing him, overwhelmed by pure bliss and a feeling he’s missed for the past few weeks.
Every gasp and whine that escapes you only serves to embolden him further, continuing to tease and taste your breast with unrivaled enthusiasm. It juxtaposes the slow, sloppy thrusts of his hips, and brings you two different kinds of sensations at once.
Cregan has made himself home between your legs, rocking his hips leisurely back and forth. He has dropped his weight on one elbow and leant his upper body to the side, determined to not put any weight on your swollen bump. His lips are firmly wrapped around your bud while his hand teases the other, pinching and squeezing it between his fingers. The proximity is unmatchable, feeding into your constant desire to be as close to him as possible.
You can practically watch him lose every ounce of self control, his suckling becoming more intense and the thrusts growing in determination. His groans and grunts are muffled, and droplets of your milk trickle idly down his chin, getting lost in the dark, coarse hairs.
You fully expect him to say something when he releases your bud, but he’s far too eager to get his fill again. Pinching the perky bud of your other breast harshly, droplets of milk run down the curve of it, only to be traced by his tongue, liking a flat stripe over your skin. He chokes on a groan as the sight has you clenching tightly around his hard cock.
“Please– do not stop,” you whimper, applying a bit of pressure to his head to urge him towards your breast again. “... not yet.”
Dark-blown eyes suddenly flicker up to meet yours, and a shuddered breath leaves your lips. “My my, what a greedy wench I have for a wife,” he chuckles to himself. You don’t take offense, but the statement does make you duck your head and bite your bottom lip sheepishly. “I do not intend to.”
Despite the teasing, it’s obvious your pleas fall upon eager ears as he heeds your command and closes his lips around your bud again. Every hungry pull of his lips draws more and more milk from you, and while relief makes itself known in your breasts, a different kind of pressure starts to settle in the pit of your belly.
Squeezing him so well, you make it impossible for Cregan to move on his own accord, and quickly take over, rolling your hips against his. It’s a race for completion, making your pearl throb with anticipation.
The coarse hairs of your husband’s beard drag over your sensitive skin with his eager suckling, tickling you and causing you to arch against him even more. You have your arms wrapped around his neck at this point, keeping him tightly against you.
A string of yesses falls past your lips like a chant, and the pace of your hips increases as far as your bump allows you to. Your mind grows hazy with pleasure, until your peak washes over you with a loud gasp.
You haven’t noticed Cregan watching you through it all, too focused on the sensations coursing through your body. His gaze is mesmerized, clearly relishing in the relief that’s etched onto your features and the way your walls flutter around his cock.
He pulls back, droplets of milk resting in the corners of his lips, and lifts his body to tower over you. The thrusting of his hips grows sharper now, determined to help you through your pleasure.
“That’s it,” he rasps, one hand resting on the mattress next to your head while the other gropes at your now relieved breasts.
“Once this pup is born,” he emphasized the words by rolling your sore bud between his index finger and thumb, drawing out just a few more droplets of milk. “I shall put another in you to keep you round with my seed.”
Your head grows dizzy, lightheaded even, and you can’t do more than whimper and whine through your peak, not fully comprehending what he’s said.
Cregan snaps his hips into yours once, twice before he topples over the edge with a loud groan, his throbbing cock spending itself deep inside of you. Cupping your breast, his fingers dig harshly into your flesh.
You continue to roll your hips against his, prolonging his pleasure. Switching roles, it’s now your turn to milk him for every drop, taking everything his cock spills inside of you. Every muscle in his body tenses, until eventually, he collapses to the side, careful not to put his weight on your swollen bump.
With his cock slowly becoming flaccid again, the sensation of his seed leaking out of your cunt is more apparent, causing heat to spread throughout your body. If it wasn’t for you carrying his child already, you would have mounted him to make sure his seed would bear fruit.
Cregan eventually lies down on his back, and you seize the chance to rest your head on his chest. It’s hard to keep your eyes open as his hand softly entangles into your hair, scratching your scalp in the manner that usually lulls you to sleep. His breath is slower now, his chest rising and lowering your head.
“I can not bear to spend another night without you by my side,” you all but whisper, bringing a hand to his stomach.
Your finger trails the contours of his muscles, before following the dark trail of coarse hairs down.
“You needn‘t worry about that,” he says. “We shall not stay in King’s Landing for too long. And I highly doubt that anyone could get me out of your chambers during the time we stay there. Once we arrive, we shall stay together.”
Nodding your head slowly, you hum a ‘mh-mh‘, too engrossed in the feeling of his hand in your hair and the other rubbing soothing circles over your back. Having trouble staying awake, you’re hardly able to process his next words, already drifting off to sleep.
“Let us sleep now, my love. We have another tiresome day ahead of us.“
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Cregan Taglist: @nats-whore @aemondsbabe
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tinycoffeeroom · 7 months ago
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treat you better | carlos sainz
face claim: none ♡
request: here !
requested: Could I request a Carlos smau where another driver breaks your heart and he’s there to pick up the pieces and make you whole again? Please and thank you ❤️
cw: cheating, bad guy charles, mentions of unwell family members, cursing
a/n: charles and alex i love u guys i promise this is just for the au <3
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November
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👤 charles_leclerc liked by fan, fan, and 78,283 others
f1gossip Trouble in paradise for Charles and Y/N? Charles Leclerc was spotted on a long walk on one of Monaco's more secluded islands with a mysterious brunette and his and Y/N's dog, Leo, this weekend. Sources say the pair were often looking to see if there were cameras around, the two of them giggling as they held hands and played with the puppy. Y/N L/N, Charles girlfriend of 2 years, is currently said to be on a trip home to see family, we wonder if the two have broken up or if Charles is back to his old ways?
fan f1gossip tagging charles is so shady i love it
fan when i catch you charles
fan no bc remember when a fan said they met y/n in her hometown and she was visiting her gran bc she's not doing too good? charles u fuckin suck bro ↳ fan wtf really???? oh i hope his tyres stick to the road next race ↳ fan kmag you know what you need to do ↳ fan we put our hopes and prayers in the paddock terror 🙏🙏
fan ok but the girls gorgeous ↳ fan THAT'S YOUR TAKEAWAY FROM THIS? ↳ fan im just saying damn
fan this is not what i meant when i said i wanted silly season to get more interesting
fan *looks around* wow i'm so surprised... not like charles has a bad rep with women or anything
fan i hope y/ns ok... my heart is hurting for her ↳ fan the paddock adore her, charles has got a big storm coming next week
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liked by kellypiquet, carmenmmundt and 25 others
y/npriv my gran is doing so much better (nothing can keep the old girl down), my hometown is still as gorgeous as always and my sister got me a cake :)
kellypiquet my girl :((( i'm so happy your grans ok 🤍 ↳ y/npriv thank u kelly bear 🤍 ↳ kellypiquet did i have to physically hold max back from going after he who shall not be named?? yes... did i consider letting go?? very much so ↳ y/npriv 😭😭 hes not voldemort babe 😭 you should have just let him go ↳ kellypiquet now is that really how you feel? ↳ y/npriv ... no but i wish i did ↳ maxverstappen1 she has to go to sleep at some point, then i shall be free ↳ y/npriv thats so ominous you strange creature (i appreciate you)
carmenmmundt me and george have been keeping your gran in our prayers angel 🩷 ↳ y/npriv i love you carm 🩷 ↳ georgerussell63 and me? ↳ y/npriv i tolerate you :)
flavy.barla esteban nearly joined max ↳ y/npriv love him dearly but este's about as intimidating as a teddy bear ↳ estebanocon ?? hey??? ↳ y/npriv sorry king xo there's a reason your nicknames estie bestie ↳ estebanocon let it DIEEEEE ↳ y/npriv never 🫶
schecoperez I am glad your gran is ok, y/n. Let me or Carola know if you need anything x ↳ y/npriv thank you checo :( give the little ones and carola a big hug from me x ♥️ schecoperez
lilyzneimer he shall d word at my hands ↳ y/npriv i fuckin love you lily
lewishamilton he will never know peace next year. ↳ lewishamilton i am however happy to hear your gran is well x ↳ y/npriv lewis 😭 thank you x
francisca.c.gomes pierre has been shouting at Him on the phone for like an hour... ↳ y/npriv 😭 ... what are they saying ↳ francisca.c.gomes a lot of french and things i don't want delicate eyes (yuki) to read... ↳ y/npriv pierre i appreciate you ↳ pierregasly i'm gonna kill him ↳ y/npriv ok maybe tone it down frenchie
lilymhe alex is setting his zoo on him ↳ y/npriv that's how you know it's serious wow ↳ alex_albon tinky's gonna boot him in the head
sebastianvettel i am very glad to hear your gran is ok, y/n, sending her and you all my love x ↳ y/npriv thank you seb :( miss you x ↳ sebastianvettel come and see us soon! the kids miss you x ↳ y/npriv you got it! x
danielricciardo he's a cunt ↳ danielricciardo and i don't mean that in a nice aussie way ↳ y/npriv DANIEL ↳ oscarpiastri no he's right, in the nasty aussie way, he's a cunt ↳ y/npriv oscar i did not raise you to talk like this ↳ oscarpiastri we are literally like 4 years apart in age... ↳ y/npriv kicking a girl when she's down WOW oscar ↳ oscarpiastri ... i am sorry mother dearest ↳ y/npriv that's better
carlossainz55 hermosa, he may be il predestinato but to me he is carne morta (dead meat) ↳ y/npriv carlos 😭 ↳ carlossainz55 also i'm glad to know your gran is well, send her my love ↳ y/npriv she already fancies you enough as it is ↳ carlossainz55 my plan is working :) ↳ y/npriv what plan? are you seducing my family members??? hiding my mum as we speak ↳ carlossainz55 something like that ;)
yukitsunoda0511 happy to see your gran is ok! and i am sorry about the other thing :((((( ↳ y/npriv yuki my angel you have nothing to be sorry about
kevinmagnussen i know what i have to do ↳ y/npriv kevin NO you're like 2 points away from a race ban!! ↳ kevinmagnussen worth it :) ↳ y/npriv nicohulkenburg pls talk some sense into your teammate ↳ nicohulkenburg unfortunately y/n i too will be joining kevin in his "defense" ↳ y/npriv haas i am so sorry
landonorris i may have done a thing... ↳ y/npriv i am terrified... ↳ landonorris i'll text you :)
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📍Monaco
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👤 landonorris, carlossainz55, francisca.c.gomes, kellypiquet, lilymhe, lilynzeimer, flavy.barla, carmenmmundt liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 87,902 others
y/nstagram angel baby, dumb and dumber and my girls 🩷
Comments on this post have been limited
carlossainz55 ... am i dumb or dumber ↳ y/nstagram do you really want to know? 🤨 ↳ carlossainz55 for my own sanity im saying i'm dumb ↳ landonorris why am i dumber????? ↳ carlossainz55 do you really want to know? 🤨
carmenmmundt don't forget about lunch today xx ↳ y/nstagram been looking forward to it since i boarded the plane 🫶
landonorris you're welcome for the lift and the room btw 🙄 ↳ y/nstagram my saviour xx ↳ landonorris and for stealing leo for you ↳ y/nstagram I NEVER ASKED YOU TO STEAL HIM???? 😭 ↳ landonorris well i did because i'm an amazing friend and am willing to sacrifice all my bloody furniture ↳ y/nstagram you leave the baby alone, he was probably stressed :(
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FEBRUARY
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(estrellita - little star) (uy, quécarechimba - ugh, that dickhead)
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📍Shanghai
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👤 carlossainz55, landonorris liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 89,028 others
y/nstagram did y'all think i would miss the first race week?? ft dumber and roomie x
fan mother has returned!!!!! ♥️ y/nstagram
fan if looks could kill, carlos would be six feet under ... charles was FUMING ↳ fan given the way his girly hid when y/n appeared i would say he has no right to be mad at all ↳ fan if the girl i cheated on rocked up to my teammates garage whilst i was with my side piece i quite frankly would walk onto the track midrace ↳ fan how do we know charles cheated? they've not said anything ↳ fan exactly. if they had been broken up surely they would have put out some sort of announcement to clear things up ????
scuderiaferrari always good to see you in red, y/n ❤️ ↳ y/nstagram FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE!!!!!! 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎
carlossainz55 i hate this new nickname ↳ y/nstagram what else should i call you? ↳ carlossainz55 yours ↳ fan CARLOS I SAW THAT????????
landonorris i have been demoted from bestie to roomie... this is the thanks i get... ↳ y/nstagram thanks roomie xx btw bins go out on tuesday :)
lewishamilton now you're free of your ferrari obligations, you should come across to mercedes next time ;) ↳ mercedesamgf1 we would love to see you over here y/n! ↳ mclaren um no us next?? ↳ alpinef1team no us!!! ↳ redbullracing come to the winning team :) ↳ scuderiaferrari y/n will always be a ferrari girl, back OFF 🤺🤺🤺 ♥️ carlossainz55
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charles_leclerc added y/nstagram added to their story to their story
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liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 20 others
y/npriv that bitchass man... idk how he thought he was gonna spin that story but not on my watch
oscarpiastri did you really have to use my meme though? ↳ y/npriv yes it was funny and otherwise i was gonna call him a cheating lying bastard on main so 🤷🏻‍♀️ ↳ oscarpiastri understandable, please continue
danielricciardo lando was laughing so hard i think he bust a rib ↳ landonorris it still hurts to breathe but holy shit y/n i love u ↳ y/npriv love u too stink :) also don't forget to pick up leo's food from the shops ↳ landonorris you do know you can text me this stuff? ↳ y/npriv yeah but reminding everyone we're roomies is funny to me
maxverstappen1 walked past ferrari hospitality and fred was PISSED ↳ y/npriv 👀👀 carlossainz55 can you confirm? ↳ carlossainz55 oh, absolutely... i was worried he was going to have a heart attack or something
francisca.c.gomes ok but did he not even think to talk to you first before posting that? it's literally been months ↳ y/npriv apparently not 🙃 texted him about it and suddenly he was sorry ↳ francisca.c.gomes men 🙄 ↳ pierregasly ???? ↳ francisca.c.gomes i stand by what i said ↳ y/npriv yeah is there a problem gasly? ↳ pierregasly no problem at all ma'am, as you were
scuderiaferrari we had no knowledge charles was going to post that. we love you y/n ↳ danielricciardo FERRARI? why are you on y/ns priv? ↳ y/npriv me and the social media intern are besties xx
carlossainz55 estrellita, lets go for dinner, you deserve it ↳ y/npriv 👀 are you paying? ↳ carlossainz55 of course, i am a gentleman ↳ y/npriv pick me up in an hour :)
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liked by fan, fan and 40,718 others
f1gossip Carlos Sainz and Y/N L/N were spotted at dinner last night. The two enjoyed a meal before taking a stroll along the Monaco pier front where, as pictured, the pair were in high spirits. We're happy to see Y/N looking so happy following the revelation that her ex-boyfriend, and Carlos' current F1 teammate, had cheated on her. The two were then joined by Y/N's current roommate and F1 driver, Lando Norris, who then whisked them off to a local nightclub. We continue to send Y/N our support and hope to see more of her happy side.
fan i don't think i've ever seen y/n laugh like that, we love to see it
fan this coupled with the photos of charles and his girly arguing in the paddock 🤭🤭 we know who won the breakup
fan why do i kinda think carlos and y/n would be cute together ↳ fan woah, she's only been broken up with charles for a few months and under really shitty circumstances, she needs time to heal ↳ fan ofc ofc!!! i just mean when she's over ch*rles, the two would make a really good couple
fan happy y/n and happy carlos, my two favourite things ❤️
fan y/ncarlos fans we rise!!! ↳ fan he would treat her so right ↳ fan the entire time she dated That Man, carlos has always been so nice to her, i wonder if he secretly fancied her all along 👀 ↳ fan or maybe he's just a good guy ↳ fan that too 🤷🏻‍♀️
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APRIL
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📍 Australia
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liked by y/nstagram, landonorris and 890,274 others
carlossainz55 swipe across to see me and oomf Another Carlando podium! We know what you guys wanna see and we love to deliver! The car drove like a dream today, shame we couldn't get more points but it's always nice to celebrate a great race with some champagne showers!
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fan WHO TAUGHT CARLOS WHAT OOMF WAS??? ↳ fan either lando or y/n 100% 😭
fan CARLANDO PODIUM!!!!!!!!! WE DREAM OF DAYS LIKE THIS
y/nstagram FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE !!! 🐎🐎🐎🐎 congrats winner 🥳 ↳ carlossainz55 i think i was right when i said you would be my good luck charm 😉 ♥️ y/nstagram ↳ fan oh they're so sick for this ↳ fan y/ncarlos'ers we're so winning
charles_leclerc congrats ↳ fan ik for a fact he was forced to comment
landonorris carlando are back baby!! ↳ landonorris also cant believe im either oomf or roomie... ↳ y/nstagram stop leaving your smelly socks in the bathroom and maybe i'll change the nickname ↳ landonorris oh that was mean
fan "shame we couldn't get more points" carlos you shady shady man
fan who else cheered when kmag pulled through and took * out of the race
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liked by carlossainz55, francisca.c.gomes and 21 others
y/npriv oh we eating good tonight
kellypiquet i'm sure we are 👀 ↳ y/npriv KELLY???
landonorris carlos is so sexy ↳ y/npriv real ↳ landonorris back off my man??? ↳ carlossainz55 i'm gonna hold your hand when i say this lando... ↳ landonorris WOOOOOOW.... i see how it is carlos
carlossainz55 gorgeous as always ↳ y/npriv you can't even see my face in that photo carlos 🤣 ↳ carlossainz55 don't need to see you to know you're gorgeous ↳ maxverstappen1 i hate to say it but that was smooth ↳ danielricciardo they don't call him the smooth operator for no reason
scuderiaferrari power (soon to be (fingers crossed)) couple ↳ carlossainz55 😉 ↳ y/npriv not from the main acc damn
francisca.c.gomes need you biblically ↳ y/npriv come here then babe xx ↳ flavy.barla lemme join ↳ y/npriv i got two hands babygirl ↳ oscarpiastri estebanocon pierregasly you gonna let her snatch both your girls? ↳ estebanocon unfortunately there was a clause when they agreed to date us and it was that y/n is wifey, we are simply the Others ↳ pierregasly ^^
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liked by carlossainz55, lilymhe and 25 others
y/npriv decided to put him out of his misery :)
carlossainz55 and who is that sexy man? ↳ y/npriv idk but he keeps speaking spanish to me even though he knows i dont understand it 🙄 ↳ carlossainz55 but do you like it? 👀 ↳ y/npriv i think you know i do x
francisca.c.gomes AND YOU DIDNT UPDATE THE GROUPCHAT??????? ↳ lilymhe FR!!!! I LITERALLY SAID TELL US AFTER YOU KISS HIM ↳ y/npriv SHUT UP RN ↳ carlossainz55 no do go on ↳ lilymhe what happens in the y/n gf's gc, stays in the y/n gf's gc
carlossainz55 estás muy guapa, vuelve a la cama cariño ❤️ (you look so pretty, come back to bed sweetheart) ↳ maxverstappen1 we have the translate function on ig you horndog ↳ y/npriv don't be mad i snatched ur man ↳ maxverstappen1 ... he'll never forget the redbull days
landonorris RUE WHEN WAS THIS?????? ↳ y/npriv hiiiii lando... um so.... 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️ ↳ landonorris GET BACK HERE U RAT EXPLAIN YOURSELF ↳ landonorris carlossainz55 WHAT ARE U DOING WITH MY ROOMIE ???? ↳ carlossainz55 i mean i could tell you but instagram does have guidelines ↳ landonorris ew ew ew that's so gross i dont even wanna know ↳ landonorris happy for you guys or whatever but ew never tell me anything remotely sexual about y/n or i will vom ↳ y/npriv lando wtf???? ↳ landonorris you're like my annoying sister i'd have to remove my skinsuit if carlos opens his fat mouth ↳ carlossainz55 hey? ↳ y/npriv you're so fuckin weird ily
danielricciardo HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!!!! ↳ carlossainz55 you were right, they don't call me the smooth operator for no reason ↳ y/npriv you were literally giggling and kicking your feet after i kissed you ↳ carlossainz55 y/n :(((( my reputation :((((((
lilyzneimer wait do was taking the photos? ↳ y/npriv ... self timer ↳ lilyzneimer down horrifically bad wow
scuderiaferrari OH Y/NCARLOS'ERS WE WON!!!!! ↳ y/npriv admin 😭 not u too ↳ scuderiaferrari not even sorry i've been WAITING for this one!!!
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liked by francisca.c.gomes, fan and 30,892 others
f1gossip A surprise twist in the Charles and Y/N drama? Following Sainz's back to back victory in Australia and then Silverstone, Y/N and Carlos shared what looks like a loving kiss. Eagle eyed fans then spotted Charles on camera arguing with a Ferrari employee in the garages following the Y/NCarlos moment. Finally, Carlos was spotted outside where he was soon joined by Y/N, the two leaving the circuit hand in hand. It is noted Charles' new beau was nowhere to be seen.
fan Y/NCARLOS'ERS WE SO WON!!!! ♥️ 10,829 others
fan she upgraded wowow
fan charles throwing a hissy fit was so funny i was cackling watching it
fan kika in the likes... what do you know queen? ♥️ francisca.c.gomes
user not her being a homie hopper 🤢 ↳ carlossainz55 can't be a homie hopper if we're not homies :) ↳ fan CARLOS????? ↳ fan oh he ate them up ↳ fan carlos has not been fucking with ch*rles for a WHILE, even before all the drama
fan y/n's face... she looked so happy my heart is so full ❤️
fan queen y/n we trust your judgement
fan ik the entire grid is cheering rn
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📍 England
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liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 105,018 others
y/nstagram carlando podium again!!! anything else interesting happen at Silverstone? :)
fan the carlando bears 😭 her boyfriend(?) and bestie 😭 ↳ landonorris roomie* ↳ y/nstagram you love me shut up
fan she's so unbothered im giggling
francisca.c.gomes the last slide... ↳ y/nstagram don't worry baby, he was just dropping me off for our date x ↳ carlossainz55 all i am to you is a glorified taxi driver
landonorris couldn't even post a photo of me for my podium... see how it is ↳ y/nstagram don't want your ugly mug messing up my feed ↳ y/nstagram also grey bin needs to go out on tuesday ↳ landonorris you're on bin duty this week? ↳ y/nstagram actually i'm gonna be on a boat in spain soooo ↳ landonorris i hope y'all break up ↳ fan LANDO ? ↳ y/nstagram he's joking dw he did the whole "big brother" speech with carlos, was kinda funny knowing carlos would flatten him in 2 seconds flat ↳ landonorris oh now i really hope y'all break up
fan y/n please we know you have bf carlos pics... i only ask for one thing ↳ y/nstagram i'll post some soon x ↳ fan the most unserious soft/hard launch
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👤 carlossainz55 liked by carlossainz55, lilyzneimer and 98,017 others
y/nstagram my boyfriends so hot, do you guys mind if i chew on him a lil?
carlossainz55 please don't chew me??? ↳ y/nstagram it's internet sla- never mind, ok mr sainz
fan her captions are always so real i love her
fan unhinged y/n is back, we missed you best friend ♥️ y/nstagram
scuderiaferrari HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH LETS GO Y/NCARLOS'ERS!!!! ↳ y/nstagram i love u admin ❤️ ↳ scuderiaferrari our ferrari girl, forever ❤️
landonorris i hate this ↳ fan your ex and your roomie 😔 ↳ landonorris you get it 😔 ↳ carlossainz55 stop calling me your ex 🙄 ↳ landonorris you dare deny the love we shared?
francisca.c.gomes never mind him, can i chew on you a lil? ↳ kellypiquet ^ ↳ lilymhe ^ ↳ lilyzneimer ^ ↳ flavy.barla ^ ↳ carmenmmundt ^ ↳ y/nstagram everyone grab a limb x ↳ carlossainz55 please don't chew my girlfriend
fan thank you for the pic y/n! sorry for interrupting your holiday 🥺 ↳ y/nstagram don't be silly!! it was lovely to meet you <333 dont forget to send me the link to the dress!! ↳ fan on it!! ↳ fan omg how was it meeting them? ↳ fan they're honestly so sweet, they were just holding hands and walking around and carlos was yapping away and the way y/n was looking at him 🥺 they're endgame fr ↳ fan could actually cry?? ↳ fan also when they were on the beach, carlos twirled her around and they started dancing to the music playing from a nearby bar... it was actually like a movie scene 😭😭
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👤 y/nstagram liked by y/nstagram, scuderiaferrari and 505,287 others
carlossainz55 dicen que ver una estrella fugaz da buena suerte, y tenían razón, mi estrellita ❤️ (they say seeing a shooting star is good luck, and they were right, my little star)
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francisca.c.gomes that first picture... i love my girlfriend ↳ carlossainz55 can't even have peace on my own hard launch ↳ francisca.c.gomes you snatched y/n from her girlfriends, you will never know peace.
fan he bagged a baddie wowow
fan the caption??? oh hes in LOVE ♥️ carlossainz55
y/nstagram 🥺 carlos..i'm so grateful to have you in my life ❤️ ↳ carlossainz55 i am the one who's grateful ❤️
scuderiaferrari heyyy y/n *with rizz* ↳ carlossainz55 even my own teams admin wow... ↳ scuderiaferrari not my fault your girlfriends hot
user homie hopper ↳ carlossainz55 eat glass :) ↳ y/nstagram CARLOS ↳ scuderiaferrari we love that you're happy but please carlos this is still your official account
lilymhe y/n i could treat you so much better ↳ carlossainz55 back off i've waited years for this ↳ y/nstagram YEARS??? ↳ carlossainz55... 🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️ ↳ y/nstagram you're literally sat right next to me ... ↳ y/nstagram he just got up and ran away... ↳ fan this is so fucking funny sddjsdhdk ↳ landonorris danielricciardo what was that about him being a smooth operator? ↳ danielricciardo hes also fucking dumb
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a/n: hope everyone enjoys! i am working hard on part 2 of girlfriend of the enemy so we can have some happy charles <3 also 2-3 posts in one week who AM I? (i'm gonna be busy w work so i'm trying to give u guys some food in case i have to disappear)
6K notes · View notes
sinofwriting · 9 months ago
Text
I ❤️ MILFS - Max Verstappen
Words: 9,747 Summary: Max wasn’t too sure who the woman was that was always with Logan, but he was sure that he wanted to get to know her. Note(s): Sargeant Reader, Age Gap, Older!Reader, Logan and Oscar are both 20 during the 2023 season, not 22. The 2023 driver standings are different (I am giving Logan the season he should have had). Reader has the nickname Pan (short for momma panther). Logan is sweetheart, Max is head over heels in love. I’m gonna be honest I never thought this fic would get written or finished. I got the idea for it back in December but only started writing it on March 16th. And it would have never happened without @burningcupcakefire & @pucksandpower. Thank you both so much for all your help. (also if anyone wants to see more of Max and Pan, let me know)
Masterlist | Support Me! | I ❤️ MILFS verse
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Max remembers the announcement of Oscar’s arrival to F1, the drama and hilarity of it. Sometimes he sees the kids name and has to stop himself from laughing. No nineteen-year-old had any business being that funny.
Max doesn’t remember much of Logan’s announcement to F1. Only that he was young as well, being the first American in forever, and Williams' quick admission that they hadn’t wanted to sign, had wanted to wait another year.
He wishes now that he had paid more attention.
There’s a woman standing in the William’s garage, on Logan’s side. She’s clearly there for him, with the similar pass that his trainer has around her neck, and the way her eyes intently follow Logan’s movements around the garage as he talks to the mechanics and engineers.
She also happens to be the most beautiful woman Max has ever seen.
She can’t help but clutch at Benny’s arm the whole race, terror gripping her along with pride.
Benny chuckles when the race comes to an end, Logan doing his cooldown lap and she finally lets go. “And just think you’ve got over twenty more races of this.”
Her nose wrinkle and a hand goes over her heart that’s thudding. “Please, Benny.”
He chuckles again but pats her shoulder. “You’ve got this.”
“Not gonna tell me it gets easier?”
He snorts. “No. This is far worse than F2 or F3 and we still were both scared watching him out there. We’ll never know a day of peace now.”
She sighs, watching the screens as it shows the top three getting interviewed and in the background you can see some of the drivers getting weighed. “He’s going to be sore and in pain.” It makes something clench inside her, the knowledge that Logan would be in pain. It was part of the job, the aches and the bruises, but it didn’t make it any easier for her to know.
“I’ve already got everything set up as soon as he’s back and debriefs are done.”
Her eyes catch on the screen showing where all the drivers placed and tears prick her eyes and she shakes her head. “Twelfth in his first grand prix. I can’t believe it.”
The garage is filled with chatter as the team celebrates getting their first points of the season and their rookie driver performing better than they expected. The way they don’t even try to whisper it makes her jaw twitch. She was grateful that Williams was giving Logan his dream, but she didn’t like how they were going about it. Quickly and publicly stating that they didn’t want to sign Logan yet, wanted to wait a year. And now this.
A light nudge to her ribs makes her unclench her jaw and she gives Benny a grateful smile.
Both of their attention is quickly drawn however to the two Williams drivers entering the garage, the space filling with cheers.
She smiles as Logan grins at the team, basking in the smiles they have on their faces for him and Alex, the pats on the back he’s getting. The grin turns to a beam when he spots Benny and her and he quickly bounces over to them.
A laugh leaves her at the way Benny pulls him into a bear hug, lifting him off his feet a little. “Proud of you, kid.” He murmurs.
She can’t hear what Logan says, but he’s put down and it’s her turn.
She wants to bundle him up in her arms, hold him and not let go, but doesn’t want to embarrass him in front of his team, so she raises a hand and pushes his hair out of his face. “You did amazing, baby.”
He smiles at her, all bright and shiny eyes and then he’s wrapping his arms around her, hugging her tight and she’s quick to return it, rubbing his back.
“You did so good, Logan. So good. I’m so proud.” She tells him again, pressing a kiss to his sweaty head.
“Thank you, momma.” He tells her, hugging her tight for another moment before letting her go.
She smiles up at him and god, that makes her heart ache. Her son, her baby, taller than her somehow. She woke up some days and still wasn’t sure where the time had gone and how he was taller than her shoulders. “Go shower and debrief and then Benny and me will take care of you, yeah? And I’ll get your favorite ordered to the hotel, ready as soon as you get there.”
He beams at her again, darting forward to press a quick to her cheek before starting to rush away. “Best mom ever!” He calls over his shoulder and she laughs.
Y/N Sargeant will never forget the first time she held her son, only then at nine years old, he had been her cousin.
Logan was small, wrinkly, pink skin, and full of small cries. She could remember staring at him with furrowed eyebrows, trying to understand how he could be what her baby dolls were made to be like. She remembers her mama having her sit on the couch after asking her if she wanted to hold him and how she had quickly nodded, hoping that maybe holding him would somehow make him look better.
She remembers the sudden nerves that built in her stomach as her mama started to hand him to her. Remembers being scared that she would drop him, remembers thinking how stupid it would be if he was still weird to look at like this.
And she remembers finally holding that and it disappearing. His small cries, no more, his wriggling calmed down, and his wrinkles no longer looked weird but cute. She remembers holding him for the first time and feeling unconditional love for the first time in her life.
She’s twelve when she realizes that her uncle and aunt don’t like Logan much. It didn’t make sense to her then, still doesn’t know. Because they liked Dalton just fine, but not Logan.
She remembers asking her dad about it. Asking him why they didn’t love Logan, but loved Dalton and worse, she remembers the pained look in his eyes as he realizes that his child picked up on what he and his wife had as well.
It’s the first hard adult conversation she has with her parents and it’s fitting that it’s about Logan, as they sit her down and talk to her about how not all parents love their kids, and how sometimes that includes them only loving one child and not the other.
She remembers clearly the first time Logan calls her mom.
It’s her fourteenth birthday and she’s got the four-year-old in her lap as she sits in a rocking chair, reading her English essay aloud for him. Logan’s eyes are closed, head resting on her chest, over her heart, and his little fingers of his one hand are curled in her shirt right by his head.
She wants to sit there forever, reading to him as she rocks back and forth. But she wants another slice of cake before Martha puts it away and Logan needs to sleep in his bed where he can stretch out fully and drool on his pillowcases and not her shirt that Martha will surely tut over but then smile fondly when she sees Logan doing it all over again.
Setting the essay down on her dresser, she runs her now free fingers through his blond hair. “C’mon Logan, time for bed.”
He grumbles, fingers tightening on her shirt and she can feel it being pulled slightly.
“You can put on your new race car jammies, cuddle with Ello.”
He shakes his head, squirming a bit in her lap as he tries to shove himself closer. “Stay with you.”
“Oh, baby.” She whispers, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Y’know I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”
His head shakes again and she has to bite her lip as his head hits her collarbone. “Want cuddles, momma.”
Her heart thuds painfully in her chest at the name he called her, tears pricking her eyes. “Okay, baby. Let's get you in jammies, grab Ello, and you can stay with me tonight.”
She’s only been eighteen for ten hours when she asks her father for the near impossible.
“I want custody of Logan. I want to adopt him. And I need your help to make that happen.”
He stares at her, no expression on his face, not even shock.
“He’s,” She pauses, jaw twitching and tears springing to her eyes. “He wants to do karting, just like Dalton. And he’s good at it. I’ve taken him. They told him no. They haven’t bought him clothes in two years. They don’t know a single thing about his school, his grades, his teachers. He hasn’t called David dad since he was six and he hasn’t called Madelyn mom since he was four.” Her hands are formed into fists, nails digging into her palms as she speaks. “I have money, I can provide for him. I’ve got my shares of the company now and I’ve got my inheritance from Grandma Talls. But I know that a judge won’t sign off without some influence.”
“Madelyn and Daniel?”
She leans forward in her seat, a spark of hope filling her. “I already talked to them, they’ll do it.”
One of his hands comes up to rub at his mouth, sighing. Then it drops to open up one of his desk drawers and he’s pulling out a bunch of papers, dropping them on the desk in front of her.
“I figured this was gonna happen and I knew after you talked to them and they called me. They signed away their rights three hours ago. Michael and Lily are waiting outside to come in so you can sign the papers.”
Tears slipped from her eyes, joy wrapping itself around her entire being from his words, the fact that he called their family lawyer to be on standby, that he and her mother were so supportive. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
He smiles at her. “I couldn’t say no to you. Not when it comes to Logan. I’m way too young to have a grandkid, let alone one that’s eight, but I made my peace with that years ago.”
“Thank you.”
Max watches the free practice session coverage intently as they focus on the Williams garage, nose wrinkling when they focus on Logan’s trainer, Benny and then James Vowles. Could it really be possible that they never once caught a shot of her? He starts to get a sinking feeling in his stomach that he's gonna have to go on Twitter when the camera moves and suddenly she’s there and he’s scrambling for the tv remote, pressing the pause button just before the camera switches to an overhead shot of the Bahrain track.
His heart skips a beat as he gets his first good luck at her. Her pretty eyes and smile. His eyes then travel down, wanting to know her name and his heart drops.
Y/N Sargeant, Mother of Logan Sargeant.
Fuck.
“Momma Panther!” Oscar greets to the confusion of other drivers as Logan and a woman enter the room.
Lando’s eyebrows are raised as he watches Oscar stand. Watching as his teammate claps Logan on the back, before giving him an actual hug. Before he then hugs the woman as well, whispering something to her that makes her laugh.
Pulling away from her, Oscar grins when her hand comes up to pat his cheek for a second. “Thank you for the invite, Os.”
“Of course.” He sends a fond look to Logan, who's standing awkwardly by the table.
“Y’know Logan and you are always welcome.”
She makes a humming noise.
“C’mon, let me introduce you to everyone.”
Turning around, he smirks at the table. “Everyone, Logan.”
Charles lets out a laugh, as the others chuckle.
He gestures to her, “This is Momma Panther or Pan.”
“Y/N or Pan.” She corrects, playfully shaking her finger at Oscar. “I only let the F2 boys call me Momma Pan.”
He sighs. “Okay, this is Y/N. Logan’s mom.”
Lando coughs, water going down the wrong pipe. Fernando’s eyes are wide as he looks at her. Charles, George, and Alex are all nodding. Max has a weird expression on his face and Carlos looks dumbfounded.
“She,” Carlos points at her. “Is his,” he points at Logan. “Mother?”
Logan moves away from the table to stand by his mom, easily melting into her side at all the attention. The action makes Oscar smile, all too used to the easy affection between the mother and son. “I got pretty lucky right?”
She shakes her head. “I’m just happy you weren’t a difficult child.”
Logan both blushes and preens at the same time.
Carlos shakes his head, disbelief still clear.
“Please, sit.” George says after a moment. “We haven’t ordered yet.”
The seasoned drivers and her watch amused as both Oscar and Logan usher her to sit first. Oscar easily then lets Logan sit next before sitting beside the American. The two of them sharing a grin after.
It makes her shake her head as she turns her attention to the menu, tuning out the sound of conversation picking back up.
The gentle sound of a throat clearing makes her glance to her left.
The current two time world champion smiles a bit awkwardly at her. “Have you been here before?”
She shakes her head, turning her head a bit to look at him better. “No. To Australia of course, for Logan’s races and to visit Oscar once, but not here.”
He nods and she can’t help but notice the way he swallows harshly. “We started coming here in 2021, it’s good food. Good drinks.”
She laughs, “good gin and tonic?”
He flushes a little, but laughs. “Yes. Very good. Heavy on the gin.”
She nods, “I think I’ll have one of those then.”
Her eyes drift back to the menu, not even wincing at the prices next to the dishes. This was nearly cheap compared to where she had been forced to eat growing up.
“Momma, can we,”
“Yes.” She answers before Logan finishes, already knowing what he’s asking. “Also you two, no hard liquor. We have plans tomorrow.” She continues, still looking at the menu.
They wouldn’t get drunk from a few drinks, but she had a feeling that Lando would try to instigate something again with Oscar, making the poor kid so drunk he could barely walk, again. And she didn’t mind people thinking that she was overbearing with Logan and even Oscar. The boys knew that if they really wanted to do something they could, even if she said otherwise. It was one of the nice things about being an adult.
Logan wrinkles his nose, glancing at the drinks part of the menu, before grinning. “They have it.”
Oscar glances at what he’s pointing at, shaking his head. “You and your goddamn obsession.”
“We come here like once a year.” Logan defends. “And no other country sells it.”
It’s not until after the server leaves, all of their orders taken, that conversation starts again.
“So, Mrs. Sargeant,” Lando starts.
“Just Y/N or even Pan.” She sends a fond look to Oscar who had made that nickname stick. “And I’m not married.” She says, amused.
“Ah.”
“Not married.” Fernando shakes his head. “Now that doesn’t sound right.”
She looks at him amused. “Don’t believe in premarital sex?” She teases.
The older driver laughs and so do the others. “No. Just hard to believe that you aren’t married. You are a very gorgeous woman.”
“Thank you.”
“So,” Lando starts again, giving Max a weird look seeing how his friend is gripping his glass of water. “Will you be coming to all the races?”
She nods. “Yes, I have since Logan started his career. Haven’t missed one.”
Logan shakes his head, grinning at her. “Nope, not one.”
“Your work allows you to do that?”
Her lips press together for a second to try and hide her smile at the gentle but obvious fishing they are doing. “I have shares in some companies and a very generous inheritance. So, no true, real work.”
“You do some work for Grandpa when we’re in the states.”
“I organize his desk for him, which he then messes up as soon as he sits back down at it.”
“You do not mind the constant travel? It is quite tiring.” Charles asks, curious.
“No. And once I got Logan in karting, I promised him that I’d make it to all of his races. Maybe in a few years, I’ll stop going to all of them, but I am part of his team as well.”
“Manager?”
“God, no.” She shakes her head at Carlos’ assumption. “Cook slash nutritionist. Benny, his trainer is amazing, also doubles at being a physiotherapist for Logan, but he doesn’t know how to cook to save his life. So I make their meals.”
“Mine as well.” Alex pipes in. “They’re truly amazing, by the way.”
“Thank you.”
“Can you make mine again?” Oscar asks, leaning over Logan a bit to look at her. “I’ve missed having them.”
“Sure.” She laughs. “Get me your new sheets before the next race, yeah?”
“Done.”
Max watches from the corner of his eyes as she takes her first sip of her gin and tonic. Her brows raise a bit when the drink hits her tongue and he has to force his eyes up, to not focus in on her lips, to think about them and what they’d feel like on, he shakes his head. Forcing the thoughts, the ideas away.
“Very heavy on the gin.” She whispers, turning a bit to look at him.
He rubs his hands against his jeans. “Do you like it?”
“It’s nice.” She smiles.
Relief fills him. “Good.”
He continues to look at her, wanting to tear his eyes away but being unable to. She was simply lovely. And getting this closer look at her, he can’t believe that she’s a mother, or at least a mother to a twenty-year-old. It didn’t seem possible. She looked barely older than him. Not at least thirty-five. She was probably more like Fernando’s age as well and he glances at the fellow two world champion, more disbelief filling him. Because how could the two be close in age at all?
Logan sighs as he collapses face first onto Oscar’s bed. Laying there for a solid minute before groaning and turning his head.
“Dinner was nice.”
Oscar hums and he can feel the bed dip beside him.
“You seemed a bit more relaxed.”
“No media, and you and Pan were there. A bit more relaxed.”
Logan scoffs. “Yeah, because you were so tense with media before.” As he speaks, he reaches out to lay a hand on Oscar’s thigh, giving the muscle a squeeze. “It’s nuts, isn’t it? I mean we all got told that the media was so much more, so different, but…” He trails off, shaking his head.
“Yeah.” Oscar sighs and then he’s laying beside Logan, the American luckily moving his hand off and away from the other’s thigh before he lies on it.
“Y’know I have no personality, apparently.”
Logan snorts, eyes opening when he hadn’t even realized he had closed him. The Australian driver also has his head turned so they’re looking at each other. “What? Have they never seen a Prema video?”
He shrugs as best as he can.
“I’d take that over my apparent frat boyness.”
“You? A frat boy?” Oscar laughs.
Logan sighs as he thinks a bit more about it, the mood turning a bit serious. “I just hope momma hasn’t seen it.”
“What happened?”
“She’s just worried. Thinks I haven’t noticed, but she’s wondering if she did a good job with me, done enough for me. And she’s given me everything y’know. I can’t imagine what I’d be like with them as my parents.”
Oscar moves a bit closer, just a few inches between their faces now. “You’d still be amazing, still great. Maybe a frat boy.”
The American rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling.
“I think Fernando has a thing for her. For Pan.” He clarifies.
“What?”
“I mean, just during the dinner y’know, he kept looking at her. And him calling her gorgeous.”
“Well, he’d be dumb and blind to not notice that.” Logan scoffs, rolling onto his back and turning his head to the side, keeping his eyes on Oscar.
“I’m being serious.” The younger laughs, poking him lightly. “I think Alonso has a thing for her.”
Logan’s face scrunches up in disgust. “Dude, no. That’s gross. Momma isn’t even thirty and Fernando’s like forty-three. And isn’t he dating that journalist?”
Oscar’s brows press together. “What journalist?”
“The one that gave Fred shit.”
“I thought she died?”
The two look at each other, both baffled.
Logan thinks again of the journalist he’s seen around Fernando and the one that all of the Prema drivers, former and at the time current, had avoided or given shit statements too. They did look a bit different now that he really thought about it. Fernando’s journalist slash girlfriend didn’t have a fucking complex.
“Different journo.” Logan mutters. He then blinks, “wait, she died?”
“Mate, you didn’t hear about that?”
“No!”
“She was supposed to be at Spa, remember. And we all were relieved when she wasn’t there. She died, car crash or something, I can’t remember.”
“How do I not remember this?”
Oscar shrugs as best as he can while laying down. “I don’t know.”
It’s silent for a moment, “you don’t think,”
“No.” Oscar shakes his head, but he doesn’t sound too sure. “I mean, yeah no.”
“Right.” He looks up at the ceiling.
“Okay, so Fernando is out of the running.”
Logan groans, “Os, no.”
“Look he clearly has eyes, but if he’s dating someone he’s out. He wasn’t the only one looking.”
“Oscar, please, it’s my mom.”
“She’s like my mom too, which is why we have to talk about this.” Oscar insists, wriggling closer to Logan. Their sides completely pressed together and when Logan turns his head to look at the other, their noses nearly brush.
He looks at Oscar’s face, all earnest and caring and sighs. “Fine. Charles was looking, but he only dates one type, so safe from him.”
“Lando was looking.”
Logan snorts, “I thought this was for potential dates, not another kid.”
He laughs, their noses brushing together from the movement. “Okay, no Lando. Max.”
“He kind of looked weird when you introduced her.” He frowns.
“I saw that too.”
“But he also got all blushy when they talked.”
“The drivers do know, I mean Alex knows that she didn’t like birth you, right?”
Logan’s frown deepens. “Of course. I mean, it’s not super well known, but it’s a little hard to believe that she naturally had a kid twenty years ago.”
“Thought so.” Oscar then chuckles. “Imagine, them thinking that she did, though. Just thinking she’s got some sort of insane skin care routine.”
“How in the hell does she look like that with a twenty-year-old kid?”
“I know right?” Alex says, looking at Carlos. “It’s insane.”
Charles pokes at his own cheek. “I think I need to ask her for advice, what products she uses. I want to age like her.”
“We all want to age like her.” George agrees.
“What are you saying?” Fernando frowns.
A few of them share a look, but Charles and Max share a different one. “Mate, you’ve got wrinkles and all these lines.” Max says. “I mean those are natural, but look at her. The skincare helps.”
Fernando frowns, “Lines?”
Charles touches at his own lines, “see lines. From smiling, laughing, frowning. All good things, very nice. Just not uh,” his brows furrow drawing a blank.
Lando snorts at his struggle. “You just want to help your skin. Keep it healthy.”
The older driver makes a humming noise, considering.
Her breath is caught in her throat, eyes wide as she watches the screen. Her heart feels like it is beating in double time. She wants to look away, doesn’t want to watch in case something horrible happens, but she can’t. Because Logan just overtook both Magnussen and Ocon in the same lap. Logan is in 9th. Logan is in a point scoring position with only five laps of the race left. Logan might score his first formula 1 points at his home race, at his actual home race, at his first ever home race.
Her hands are shaking, fingers locked together as she presses them against her mouth, trying to breathe, praying that Logan won’t fall back out of the points.
She doesn’t even notice that he’s lessened that gap to Pierre until suddenly he’s overtaken the other French driver, just three laps later. “Oh my god.”
“Fuck.”
“Benny,” she whispers, and one of her hands is dropping so she can clutch at the older man. “Benny, I think,”
“He’s gonna do it.”
And sure enough he does it. Logan holds his place in front of Pierre and finishes in 8th.
“Yes!” The whole garage is cheering and she’s wrapping her arms around Benny, laughing when the trainer lifts her.
“He did it! He did it!” She cheers.
The garage quiets though as Gaetan starts to speak on the radio.
“Logan, you are on your cooldown lap.”
“Got it. Where’s Alex?”
She winces at the question, one of her hands grips at Benny’s shoulder as he sets her back down, the other holding onto her headphones that miraculously didn’t get thrown off her head or disconnected when celebrating. “Alex is P14, P14.”
It’s quiet for a moment. “Okay, I’m sorry we didn’t get any points today, next race is ours right? The car felt great.”
Both of her hands fly up to her mouth.
“Logan.” Gaetan’s voice is full of disbelief and laughter. “Mate, you finished P8. You got us points. You got your first points.”
She can see him react to the news, the car jerking underneath him for a second, before he wrangles it back under control.
“What? What do you mean?”
“You finished in P8. Clean race, finished ahead of both Alpines and Magnussen.”
“Holy fuck.”
The garage fills with laughter at his reaction and tears start to build in her eyes.
“You guys,” his voice breaks. “Thank you guys so much. This was you guys, the car felt great, really.”
She watches as James hops on the radio. “This was you as well, Logan. Amazing drive today.”
“Thank you, James. Thank you so much for this.”
His mechanics, Benny and her, quickly go over to where the cars are parking, watching as Logan slots it into place. He’s a little shaky as he gets out of the car and he’s about to dart towards them but someone from the FIA, is ushering him to the scale.
His reluctance is clear even with his helmet on, but he goes. Letting them take his weight and as soon as it’s written down, he’s stepping off and away, fumbling with his gloves and then his helmet.
There’s an awed grin on his face, tears in his eyes, and seeing it makes the tears that have built in her own fall.
His gloves and helmet tumble to the ground as his mechanics and Benny surround him, celebrating his points.
Logan laughs when they finally let them go and his eyes light up when he sees her and he darts to her and she easily welcomes him into her arms.
“I’m so proud of you.” She tells him, squeezing his sweaty body close before running a hand through his hair. “You did amazing.”
“I did it, momma.” His voice is weak and she can feel tears hit the skin of her neck where his head is buried.
“You did it.”
“Logan did amazing, it was a good drive.”
She blinks in surprise at the voice, turning in her barstool to look. “Max?”
He smiles at her, cheeks flushed. “He did really well.”
“He did.” She agrees before patting the stool next to her.
His smile widens as he takes the seat.
“I didn’t realize that Red Bull was in the same hotel.” Maybe she should have since she had spotted a few Red Bull polos, but she figured it was fan gear.
“I think Aston is here as well. You aren’t celebrating with Logan?”
She shakes her head. “We already celebrated. Him, Oscar, and a bunch of his friends here are throwing a party. I wasn’t really interested in watching them all get wasted, so this,” she gestures to the hotel bar, “is me having a drink to celebrate before going up to my room and ordering some room service.”
“Could I join you?” His cheeks redden at the words, at the way her eyebrows raise. “Not like that. But for food? I’ve never actually eaten anywhere in Miami that wasn’t catering.”
She stares at him for a moment before nodding. “Yeah. And I have the perfect place to take you.”
“Did I actually score points yesterday?”
“You did.”
“Sweet.”
“Very. How’s the head?”
Logan shrugs, “I mean, I drank a lot, but like I’m just dehydrated.”
She shakes her head, “That will change in a few years.”
“Not gonna tell me to not drink underage?” He teases, bending down to press a kiss to her cheek before grabbing her glass of juice and draining it.
She snorts. “We’re in Europe most of the time and I gave you your first drink. I don’t think I have a leg to stand on. And you were celebrating.”
“True.”
He sits across from her, refilling the glass and taking another drink from it before setting it down and starting to help himself to her pancakes, which she just pushes closer to him. “How was your night? You could have joined us. We wouldn’t of minded.”
“I’m your mom, Logan.” She laughs. “I think the me going to your friend's parties ship sailed a few years ago.”
“Yeah, but you're awesome. We like having you around.”
“I know.” She smiles. “I wasn’t in the mood to watch all of you get wasted.”
“Fair.” he says around a bite of pancake, which she sends him a look for and he quickly swallows the food. Giving her a smile that says sorry.
“So, how was your night?”
“It was good.” She tells him, spearing a piece of fruit with her other fork. “I came back to the hotel, had a drink, and then got dinner with Max.”
His brows press together. “Max?”
“Verstappen.” She clarifies. “Red Bull is staying here as well, he saw me at the hotel bar and asked if he could join me for some food.”
“You went on a date?”
Her eyes narrow at him. “It wasn't a date.”
“You went on a date.” He scrambles for his phone. “Oscar is never gonna believe it.”
“I go on dates.”
“Momma, you’ve gone on like five dates. And two of those were before you turned eighteen.”
She scowls at him. “It wasn’t a date. We just got dinner.” She insists.
“Uh huh.” He says, clearly not believing her. “Did he pay?”
“Yes.”
“Pull your chair out, help you with your coat, anything like that?”
Her mind flashes back to Max helping her get out of his car, his insistence on opening doors for her. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean,”
Logan continues. “Did he walk you to your hotel room? Say that he had a good time and he’d like to do it again?”
“Oh.”
Logan grins at her, smug, as he finishes typing out a text to Oscar. “You went on a date last night.”
“I went on a date last night.” And she doesn’t mention the fact that a new number resides in her phone.
“Logan!”
He stops at the sound of his name, turning to look behind him, where Max Verstappen is nearly jogging to catch up with him. “Max.” He greets, when the older driver is next to him, nerves filling him at the eyes of said driver on him, along with how a few other drivers are also looking at the pair, shock and surprise clear on their faces.
“Hey.” Max grins. “How are you feeling about the track?”
He looks at the older driver in confusion. They had just left the drivers briefing, why was he asking him this? Alex had already spoken about how the team was feeling about Monaco. “The car won’t be the best here, but we said that in Miami, so we’re hoping to repeat that here. Alex has a good chance at ending in a point scoring position.” He reiterates what he's been told and what he’s been telling the press.
“But how are you feeling about it?”
Logan stares at the Dutchman, eyes flickering around trying to see if cameras are there, if his momma is there, but there isn’t anyone. The other drivers are already gone, so are the FIA people. It’s just him and Max. “Y’know you don’t have to talk to me because you went out with my mom.”
He expects relief, like that one dick Jase, and really who puts that on a birth certificate, but Max just frowns. “I know, I don’t have to.”
Logan swallows around the lump in his throat, “right.” Turning around, he starts to walk, somehow knowing that the other driver will join him. “It’s a tricky track, it’s Monaco. I was here last year and I barely got in the points.”
“P10 and P9.”
He throws the driver a look, because that was too much to know, but Max is just looking at him, encouraging him to continue. “The car isn’t suited for it. I mean it wasn’t for Miami, but this is different. And I’m still not managing my tyres correctly, so even if I did manage to gain positions, I’d get called in to pit and lose them.”
Max huffs out a laugh. “You are a rookie in a Williams, it’s impressive that you’ve already gotten points. If you could manage your tyres, when sometimes even I struggle, well I’d put you in Checo’s seat.”
“Not yours?”
He laughs again, “No. I’m a bit better at it than Checo.”
Logan couldn’t really deny that.
“Do you want some advice? On the tyres?”
Logan quickly nods. “I’ll take anything I can get.”
“Don’t fight the car too much on the turns. If you need to get it to turn properly or without going on the brakes too soon, fight it. But when you don’t, let the car be stable, keep it fluid. When you come out of the corner, press harder. It might feel like you’ll go into the wall, but you won’t.”
“And if I go into the wall?”
Max laughs, clapping him on the shoulder. “I think you're a better driver than that mate.”
“How are you doing that in the turns?”
Logan looks up from his notebook, where he’d been scribbling a bunch of random words. Looking at the screen, he watches his own onboard. He thinks about saying that it was Max that told, but no one at Williams liked hearing about Red Bull, especially with Alex in the room. “Just something I thought I’d try.”
“Well, it was good, continue doing it. We may have ended up out of the points, but we got close.”
Logan nods. Even with his five-second penalty, he had still kept fourteenth, and Alex ended up in twelfth. “Will do.”
Max had thought about her in his apartment a lot, an embarrassing amount. He had also pictured it very differently. A nice dinner, wine, even though a majority of it made his nose wrinkle, perhaps some kissing on his couch as a movie plays that they both don’t care about.
He hadn’t expected lunch, with juice that he’s trying to figure out how he’s never had it when he’s lived in Monaco for so many years, and a somewhat serious conversation, though maybe he has been expecting that one or rather anticipating it.
“I like you, Max.”
He flushes, “I like you too.” He really did, even though his mother was going to have a heart attack when she found out how much older Pan was than him.
“And I want to continue doing this.” She gestures between them with her free hand that isn’t being held in his.
“So,” sensing that there’s something she wants to say.
“I’m a mom.”
He blinks at her words, panic starting to fill him. He thought he’d made that clear that he knew that, understood that. He always made sure to ask about Logan. He even had Logan’s number now after talking to him about how he felt about the Monaco track. “I know.”
“Logan is important to me.”
Oh, god, did Logan not like him?
“The most important thing to me. And if we're going to continue to do this, I just need you to know that. He’s always going to be my first priority.”
“Of course.” Relief fills him, his heart slows from its frantic beating. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
She stares at him, trying to gauge how truthful he’s being before nodding. “Okay.”
“Did you think that I didn’t know that?”
She shakes her head immediately. “No, it’s just. I don’t really do this.” She laughs. “Dating, relationships. Logan pointed that out to me, so I don’t really know how this goes and I just had to make it clear, put it on the table now.”
“I don’t really do this either.” He hesitates to ask his next question, but does. “Logan’s father. What was your relationship with him like?”
Her face screws up in disgust. “Ew.”
He laughs, not expecting that reply or that word to sum up a relationship. But fair enough.
“I mean the idea of a relationship between me and Logan’s father is gross. Logan’s,” she pauses, seeming to settle on a different word. “Birth parents are my aunt and uncle.”
“His what?” He could have sworn she said birth parents, but that couldn’t be right.
“His birth parents.” She looks at him, concerned. “I adopted Logan when I turned eighteen. Did you think I gave birth to him?”
“No.” He says, shaking head and clearing his throat. “Of course not.”
She stares at him, lips pressed together.
He sighs, slumping in his seat, eyes closing. “I may or may not have thought you were just a really, really young looking forty-something year old woman.”
She immediately bursts into laughter and his eyes fly open at the sound. “You thought?”
“The graphic for the race footage says you are his mother, I did not think otherwise. I just thought you looked great for your age.” He defends, a little embarrassed, but delighted by the expression on her face and her laughter that is still filling his ears.
“I am his mother, just adopted.”
“Not that either of you see it that way.”
“No.” She shakes her head, laughing one last time before calming down.
“No. Logan’s mine, he’s been mine practically since he was born. It just wasn’t seen that way legally until I was eighteen and custody got signed over to me.”
“Of course.” He then flashes her smile, “So can I ask how old you are?”
She laughs, nodding. “Yes, Max. I think just this once it’s better to ask a lady her age than assume it.”
“How old are you?”
“I’m twenty-nine.”
He looks at her with new eyes, the age making much more sense. “I would’ve said twenty-five.”
“Really? I think you would’ve said forty-something.”
“How was I to know?” He throws his free hand in the air at the tease, his other still holding hers.
“Hi, baby.” She greets when Logan stumbles out of his room, practically still asleep, as he drops onto the couch.
“Momma.” He whines, resting his head on her lap and turning his face to press it into her stomach, trying to block out the sun.
Her fingers brush through his hair as she forces her body to stay relaxed. It was always a fight when he did this.
She hated that her body didn’t bear any signs of being pregnant before, no stretch marks around her belly. She hated that she hadn’t actually gotten to carry Logan no matter how impractical it was, unless of course she was as old as Max had thought she was. She smiles at the memory of how flustered Max had looked when he realized her actual age.
He mumbles something and she turns his face away from her stomach.
“What?”
“How was your date last night?”
Her smile widens. “It was good.”
“Yeah?”
She nods.
“Did you see Jimmy and Sassy?”
“No.” She runs her hand over his forehead, knowing that he’s thinking of Sooty. “We should talk though after you’ve had some breakfast.”
“About what?”
“Breakfast first.”
“What do we need to talk about?” Logan asks nearly thirty minutes later, his fruit bowl all gone and his coffee on its way to be there as well.
She swallows, hands flexing. “Max.”
“What about Max?”
She sighs. “Well, baby, him and I talked about becoming serious last night. But that’s not gonna happen until I know how you feel.”
“You know, I’m okay with it.”
“I know you're okay with me dating, but this is a bit more complicated. Max is on the grid with you and we’re talking about a relationship.”
Logan eyes widen a bit at the word relationship. “I mean, how does Max feel about it? About being with someone who has a kid on the grid?”
He asks knowing it will give him time to figure out how to tell her how he feels and because he wants to know, he kind of wants Max to be okay with it. He likes Max, and not just as a driver. The older driver is kind and funny, he also looks at his mom like she’s the sun, he makes her happy and that’s enough to put him in Logan’s good books. His mom deserves the best and he thinks from what little he’s seen, from how much more happy his mom has been (and god that was weird, because it wasn’t even like she wasn’t happy before) that Max might be the best for her. And Max now every time he sees Logan is always stopping to talk to him even if it’s just for a second to say a quick hi.
“Max is good with it. He knows that you're my number one and that’s never going to change.”
Logan flushes at the words.
“He also likes you, thinks you're a good kid.” She lets out an amused huff as the word kid leaves her mouth. It was odd to hear Max describe Logan that way, with only five years between them. But at the same time she knew it came from being practically a veteran in the sport. Max was coming up on ten years in Formula 1 despite his young age.
He flushes even more. “Really?”
“Yeah.” She smiles. “He always asks about you, it’s really sweet. And he knows to that if you aren’t comfortable with this or need more time then that’s what will happen.”
“I am an adult.”
“You are.” She was sadly well aware of that fact. “But you are my baby, my kid. I couldn’t be in a relationship with someone if you didn’t like them or if it made you uncomfortable.”
He nods. “I’m okay with it. Max makes you happy, he’s nice.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
She lets out a giggle as arms wrap around her from behind, lips pressing against her cheek. “Hi.”
“Hi.” Another kiss is pressed to her cheek. “Can I help?”
She glances down at what she’s finishing up. “No. You could set the table, though?”
“Done.” A kiss is pressed to her temple and then the blanket of heat that covered her back is gone. “What cabinet?”
“First one entering the kitchen on the left.” She says, turning her head a bit to watch as Max pulls the dishes out.
Her mouth goes a little dry as she watches him. His t-shirt is tight around his biceps and chest. His skin is a little tanned after their date a few days ago on a friend's yacht. She forces her eyes to not look at his hands, instead trailing them up to his strong shoulders and neck and then to his face. Max, she thinks as he starts to put the plates on the table, is unfairly attractive. Before he can catch her staring, she checks on the final thing on the stove. “Perfectly done.” She mumbles with a smile.
The sound of the front door opening makes her smile grow wider as she grabs a pot holder.
“Am I late?”
“Just on time.” She tells Logan as he steps into the kitchen.
“Can I,”
She stops him before he can continue. “No, go wash up.”
“Alright.” He bends a little to press a kiss to her cheek before turning on his heel, offering a wave to Max. “Hi.”
“Hi, Logan.”
Picking up the pan, she shakes her head as Max goes to try and take it from her.
“Logan and you are both going to get on too well.”
“Why’s that?” He asks, a twinkle in his eye.
“You both don’t like when I lift anything.”
“What’s the point of having a son or a boyfriend, then?” Logan says, clapping Max on the shoulder as he comes back.
Max grins at the younger, delighted as he claps him back. “Exactly. We feel a bit neglected.”
She rolls her eyes, shaking her head, though a smile is stretching across her lips.
Max watches amused as the mother and son argue.
“Mom, it would be for two races, two, that’s it.”
“One race, really.” Max chimes in, smiling when she glares at him. “Spa is nice, but Zandvoort is really what I consider my home race.”
“See, it would be one race. Max wants you in his garage.” Logan says, looking at the other driver, begging for him to help but at the last sentence Max shakes his head.
“I never said that. Well, I would like to see Pan in my garage, not for the whole weekend, or even a day. She’s part of your team.”
Logan looks at him, bewildered. “But, it’s your home race.”
He shrugs. “I’d like for her to stop by, you as well. I already have it cleared with the team. Staying for even a whole session though just doesn’t make any sense. I don’t need her on my side of the garage to know that she’s supporting me, wanting me to do well, not when you are on the grid.”
“Are you sure?”
Max smiles at Logan, because yes he was sure. Did he want her there, supporting him? Maybe even dressed in something with his number? Of course. But, he liked seeing her in Logan’s garage. Supporting him, wearing his merch, being a mom. “I’m more than sure.”
“Besides,” she says, drawing both of their attention. “Max and I haven’t gone public yet. Or really told anyone yet.”
“Well, this is a bit of an odd one.” Laura says as they stop in front of the Red Bull garage.
The cameraman focuses on what she’s looking at.
“Both Logan Sargeant and his mother, better known as Pan from Formula 2 fans, are in the Red Bull garage, currently talking with our current championship leader Max Verstappen, his engineer GP, and Daniel Ricciardo.”
“Shall I see if I can steal one of them away?” Will asks, smiling at the camera as he holds the F1 TV microphone loosely.
“Please.” She gestures.
Will steps towards the garage smiling at the small group hovering just inside. “Could I steal one of you for a quick minute?”
The five exchange a look and Will stops himself from rolling his eyes at the way they all look annoyed at the idea, but Logan nods. “Sure.”
“Thank you.”
He watches as Logan says something quietly to them, getting nods from them all. His brow furrows when Max squeezes his shoulder before the younger driver gives his mom a quick hug, making him shake his head. Logan Sargeant was an absolute mommy’s boy and it was embarrassing as all hell to see. He couldn’t imagine being twenty and hugging his mom in public, let alone all those videos and photos of him reaching for her hand.
Will ignored the part of him that did think it was sweet and felt bad for the kid. He couldn’t look all sappy while filming, especially not when in front of the Red Bull garage.
“Hi everyone.” Logan greets, taking the third mic from the newest crew member.
“Hello, Logan. How are you feeling about this weekend?”
He smiles at Laura. “I’m feeling okay, I’ve raced here before, obviously not in an F1 car, but I do have some experience with this track.”
“And you and your mum’s visit to the Red Bull garage, should we expect an announcement of you switching teams?” She teases.
“No.” He laughs. “No, uh, just visiting for personal reasons. Saying hello to Daniel, wishing Max a good home race.”
“I mean, I’m not sure, he needs it.” Will jokes, gaining a few laughs. “So, no business to be done at Red Bull? Just saying a hello and wishing a good race to a fellow driver.”
“Yeah,” he pauses, looking back at the garage where it’s just Max and his mom standing now watching him with smiles on their faces. It’s only that he continues when his mom gives a brief nod, one barely able to be seen by the camera. “And I wasn’t just wishing a fellow driver good luck.”
“Oh?”
Logan grins, looking pleased with himself. “I was wishing my new dad good luck.”
“Carlos Sainz is a cunt.”
Max freezes at her words, hand still on the doorknob from just stepping into the room.
“Hi, schat.”
“Carlos Sainz is a cunt.” She repeats.
His brain is scrambling because what exactly had Carlos done but also why was it so attractive to her say the word cunt. It had to be the accent, he decided quickly, still trying to figure out the Carlos thing. “And why is Carlos a cunt?” He finally asks, releasing the door knob and stepping further into the room.
She’s on her laptop, rapidly typing something, and he can feel anger radiating off her.
“That bullshit he spewed, blaming Oscar’s inexperience.” She scoffs, pausing her typing as she shakes her head. “It was an incident, a racing incident, something he knows a lot about. There was no inexperience fault.”
“Oscar’s okay?” He already knows that he is, but knows it's good to ask.
“He’s good. He knows that it's a racing incident.”
Max winces. Wonders for a second if he should warn Carlos to keep his mouth shut, but shrugs. It wasn’t his fault that Carlos was getting in trouble because he couldn’t watch his mouth or correctly look at footage. “Can I help?”
She sighs, hitting close on whatever she was writing in. “No.” She then closes her laptop, turning to face him, with a smile. “Hi. Congrats on the win.”
“Thank you.” He bends to kiss her. “You okay?”
“Yeah, just,” she waves her hand at her laptop, “stuff.”
“Anything I can help with?”
She starts to shake her head no as he sits on the edge of the bed, but she stops.
“Actually, could I get your insight on something? Not just as a driver, but as someone who lives and breathes racing, loves data, really knows how the sport works.”
“Of course. What’s going on?”
Another sigh leaves her, hand coming up to rub at her mouth for a second before it drops. “Why would a team not resign a driver?”
His eyebrows furrow, because she knows the reasons, but he answers. “Not performing well, they want out of the team or sport, sponsorship issues.”
“The driver wants to stay in the sport and the team.” Her lips turn downwards a bit at the word team. “And the driver brought new sponsorships to the team.”
“They have to be not performing well.”
“They’re a rookie in a back marker team.”
“They have to be really performing badly.” Max says, trying to think of who in Formula 2 or 3 she’s talking about.
“They already have six points and have placed ahead of their experienced teammate three times.”
His mind is scrambling again, trying to find a reason, because what? “How many does his teammate have?”
“Nine.”
“I have no idea. Not unless there’s conflict within the team.”
She shakes her head.
“Is there potentially a more experienced driver for the spot?”
She shakes her head. “They’re looking at another rookie or maybe someone who stepped away from the series for a year, though they’d rather take a rookie than him.”
“I don’t have an answer for you. It doesn’t make sense to me.”
She nods, expression falling and she’s rubbing at her face.
“What’s going on?” He asks, standing up just to crouch down in front of her, taking her hands in his.
“The driver’s Logan.”
“What?”
“Williams isn’t sure they want to offer Logan another year.”
Max stares at her. “How?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugs, laughing. “There’s talks of them signing whoever wins this F2 championship or even the runner-up depending on who it is. Logan’s making too many mistakes.”
“He’s costing them too much money.” Max fills in the blank, shaking his head. “That’s ridiculous. Don’t take a rookie if you can’t afford it. You are supposed to account for the worse. And he’s doing well. It’s not his fault that they built a shit car.”
“I don’t know what to do.” She admits, voice just a whisper, and his heart clenches painfully at the sound of it, at the tears in her eyes. “This is his dream. I don't know what to do if that gets taken away from him.”
“It won’t. We’ll figure something out.” He tells her, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“I think I’m spoiled.” Max says, watching as she gets ready for bed. A faint feeling of arousal pooling his gut as she pulls on one of his shirts. He absentmindedly wonders if it would be weird to wear it tomorrow to the track, the scent of her lotion clinging to it.
“Why’s that, honey?”
He smiles, cheeks a bit pink, and that arousal builds a bit more at the pet name, at the way she shifts in the vanity chair to loosen some tension in her back. “You come to every race, you see me win, you celebrate them, you got to see me win my third championship today.” Those words feel weird off his tongue, today, but totally sober to celebrate. He wants desperately for tomorrow to come, for the race to finish so they can celebrate, him, her, Logan, the team.
“I guess you are a bit spoiled.”
He gasps, clutching at his heart, making her giggle.
“That’s okay though.” She says, getting up and moving onto the bed, straddling him. “I think I like you spoiled.”
He groans as she dips her head, pressing a kiss to the flutter of his pulse. “Schat.” It's a warning to stop and a plea for more.
“I know.” She kisses the spot a bit firmer. “Celebrations will have to wait just a day longer.” She then rolls off him, his arm immediately lifting so she can press against his side.
“It’s cruel to win with a sprint race.”
She snorts, “A sprint race never stopped us before.”
“It’s cruel to win with a sprint race in Qatar.” He amends.
“Very true.”
He sighs, staring at the ceiling as he calms down, luckily the feeling of her fingers tapping along his stomach not making it harder.
“How’s Logan feeling?” Max asks, remembering how pale he looked when they got dinner.
She sighs, moving somehow closer. “Not great. No fever, but his stomach is still a bit upset.”
He winces. “He gonna be okay tomorrow?”
“I hope so. The team knows that he’s sick, they’ll make the right choice.”
“I hope so.” He echoes, wishing that Logan felt better, hoping that he feels better by the time the race starts.
“We are confident in him.” Max scoffs, tossing his phone aside.
“I know.”
“Logan still wanting to do his new routine.”
She nods, lips pursed.
He shakes his head. “He did good.” It wasn’t the rookie season that Oscar had, but it couldn’t be. Oscar got lucky enough to get a seat in a near top team, while Logan got one with a back of the grid team that was sometimes midfield.
Logan scoring ten points, getting himself to sixteenth in the standings, tied with Bottas in the standings, was very good for a rookie. It was a shame that Williams seemed to think he could’ve and should have done better. At least, Max thinks, the 2025 grid was wide open for possibilities.
“Are him and Oscar still joining us?”
She throws him a look. “Us?”
“You.” He amends, knowing that despite him joining her, he’d get caught up in Redline and different things. He was just happy she didn’t mind that.
“Only for a few days and then they both are off to Australia.”
“Will Logan be joining us for Florida?”
“Yes. My mom has been asking the next time she’s going to see her only grandchild.”
Max laughs at the eye roll. “So, Belgium first, then Monaco,”
“You go to Milton for a day after.”
He nods, “then Greece, Florida, Monaco.”
“Not bad for the first few weeks of winter break.”
“Not bad at all.” He agrees, wrapping his arms around her waist, chest pressed against her back.
It’s quiet between the couple as Max sways them.
“Max.”
“Yes?”
“Your mom, she does know that I’m not in my forties right? Or thirties?” She figured that the woman did, but she also had only briefly gotten to meet her at the one race, and there had been an odd expression on her face when Max introduced her as his girlfriend.
He freezes.
“Max.”
“I knew I forgot something.”
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