#i am also human
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girls will be like, “i don’t have catholic guilt. i use the imagery when writing because it’s fun to play around with!” and then write this:


#grief#obligatory#catholiscism#content warning#idk i just think people forget lazarus was just as human as the rest of us#that's what makes his miracle sting#why does he get to rise while i am left buried alive#he was human and jesus wept for him#i am also human#so why the hell didn’t he do the same for me?#what makes lazarus more human than me?#lol anyway
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reminder to take care of your loser human body
#danny phantom#danny fenton#college au#sam manson#tucker foley#there’s uh#lots of headcanons here#everlasting trio#they really ride the line between good friends and assholes#I love it for them#also#I headcanon the nausea thing comes when he neglects either half#do too much ghost stuff?#forget to be human?#get sick#too much human stuff?#energy too built up?#congrats you’re sick again#self care is important lmao#emetophobia#cw vomit#I spent so long drawing this idk who I am anymore
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subject, specimen, spectacle;
should i say that you're dead?
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#jjk satoru#satoru gojo#gojo#bugs/#insects/#eye horror/#every time i post gojo art i feel scummy using like . the slew of tags this mf has#im like wow u look desperate gdfjkdjkg#listen ok im not a gojomain idk where people look fr content#anyway for not a gojomain i sure do have a lot of artistic breakthroughs whenever i draw him#first th eyedoves then lmhs gojo then gojo in the (club) bathroom by himself now this#loathe as i am to admit it i Love how much there is to pick apart of him in art theres so much theres so many angles u cld take#personally my favourite gojo angle in art (tm) is the Cryptically Unsettling Not Sane Not Human what can i say#keep ur thirst trap gojoart i like this guy unblinking and twitchy#on that note here he is pinned down as god intended#i ATE w this concept i fear fgfgsd i wanted a like. pallid formaldehyde dissection table under examination motif#and i was torn between using snakes or bugs to convey it and im SO SOOSOSOO happy i picked the bugs#ive used butterflies a lot they arent anything unfamiliar but truly i felt a chakra unlock when i thought of gojo+butterfly pinning#the burning light the eye the composition i rly think this is some of my best work#also also th poem was smth i came across when i was brainstorming captions and i ws like. gagged @ how well it fit gojo i had to include it#im not a poetry buff so my opinion is very uneducated but i think it was rly haunting and sad and beautiful#fit my target vibe so i took it slapped it on gojo w bugs said thank you verymuch smile :)
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i am not immune to those aus where bill has to be a normal human ive been poisoned by them since the show ended and the resurgence only made me like them more.
#gravity falls#bill cipher#mabel pines#my human bill design does have brick tattoos i just forgot them on the first pic and am too lazy to put them on it now#also feat really quickly designed older mabel idk#i like bill and mabel interactions theyre so silly
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i can't wait to be 30+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 40+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 50+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 60+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 70+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 80+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to be 90+ and still in fandom and i can't wait to look back on my life and know that i loved things deeply and passionately and was inspired to create and was part of communities with incredible people from all over the world brought together by the stories that touched us
#and still be mad at shithead executives for unfairly cancelling my pirate show#also imagine what my ao3 word count will be like. gonna be writing my little fics in the nursing home#sometimes when i get frustrated over my writing i have to remember that i've only been doing it for a little over a year#and not in my native language#there is still so much time and so much to learn and try and discover and explore and i am EXCITED#there is something so ancient and beautiful about humans being brought together by stories#storytelling is what humans have always done and will always do and what will always connect us#to our past to the future to each other#sorry for the 1 am ramblings#fandom#🐭📓
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The funniest part of this new event is the fact I can't find out what's going on it from spoilers. All context is lost in the wave of Hot Eel Mom. I love her, all hail Georgina, mother of This and That, but where is the context? What *is* the event?
to be fair, we're still in the intro part, so not much has actually happened yet! Jade and Floyd were supposed to go to their mom's friend's wedding to help with the ancient merfolk marriage custom of
❤️❤️❤️~the Test of Love~❤️❤️❤️
but Floyd last-minute changed his mind (on account of being Floyd) and Azul was like "I'm not going if your mom is going to be there". at which point Jade realized he'd just been handed a golden opportunity to invite the absolute funniest group of people he could think of.
anyway tl;dr Jade manipulates a bunch of nerds into joining him to heckle/throw bricks at/try to drown a couple of randos in the name of love, what could possibly go wrong
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#eternity float#eternity float of the coral sea#okay FINE they're not supposed to ACTUALLY drown but it is considered good luck if you manage to flip their boat over#honestly this event is just super cute so far. i forgot how much i enjoyed these silly excursions!#there's been some fun little worldbuilding bits about mercustoms#and of course they all need new outfits because ✨wedding✨#i do think my favorite thing about georgina so far#(aside from the whole seven foot tall gorgeous mermaid thing)#is that she was able to immediately and accurately intuit everyone's personality and style based off of hearing floyd's nicknames for them#i believe it#oh also 'how lovely to meet jade's friends...thank you for coming...gracious me. the prince of briar valley! what an honor. and who's this?#'oh my...so THIS is the famous riddle i've heard so much about :) :) :)'#what have they been telling her. what secrets does she know.#(riddle: we're not --) (rook: yes we are ~BOSOM FRIENDS~)#(malleus in the background: human child. tell me i am the prettiest little sea slug you've ever seen.)#god i love them#can't wait to see these idiots enact petty harassment on those poor unfortunate souls
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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Man, love when characters' actors participate with them and the fandom on their own, it's so lovely.
Also, had to make an ugly ass doodle about it.
Please spare me, I never drew them before and I was drawing in an uncomfy position.
#Also humans are hard af to draw and I drew them most of my life#white backround#my shit#sonic movie#sonic 3#stobotnik#sonic agent stone#agent stone#dr robotnik#jimbotnik#sonic fanart#I AM NOT IN THE SONIC FANDOM I'M JUST IN THE STOBOTNIK FANDOM#In case actual sonic fans see this-#lee majdoub#mild swearing#dr eggman#Had to make Robotnik's nose bigger... oh well#I'm sorry I butchered you Stone you deserve better babyboy#sonic movies#I think Eggman came out well though????
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We are two sides of the same coin
#squid game#seong gihun#hwang in ho#seong gi hun x hwang in ho#seong gi hun x oh young il#seong gi hun x front man#457#look im not saying i want gi-hun to be the next front man. it'll be genuinely bad writing if he does please GOD no.#but what i AM saying is that i want in-ho to try and force the promotion on him through homoerotic psychological warfare.#the whole season in ho was like “lemme show you the inherent selfishness in humanity pookie” and i demand more of that energy in season 3#and also im sorry but you can't give me asian hannigram and expect me to not be obsessed come on now#also whoever came up with the ship name 457 lemme kiss you on the mouth
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The leftism/anticapitalism leaving people's bodies the zeptosecond you imply that disabled people who aren't "productive" still matter in society and need to be treated like intrinsic equals who have a place in this world:
#disability#disability advocacy#described images#image description in alt#ableism#ableism tw#my full-time job is my disability and you're lucky that i am still 'productive' as-is#your boss doesn't care that you think you're superior for being hired by them. they're still going to treat you like profit machines#it astounds me how people will capitulate for oppression because they place their intrinsic value in their ability to be at the top...#...or at least 'at the top' compared to others. it's the same impulse that makes people think their cisgender status makes them superior...#...you are placing your worth into systems which not only oppress others but offer you no true sense of worth...#...ESPECIALLY if you're also being exploited (even if just a bit)...#...you have a job sure but... do you actually get treated like a human being? are you actually paid? are you actually safe?...#...if the answer to any of those questions and more is 'no' then why do you place your value in capitalistic production. genuinely.#and why would you DEMAND disabled people to have the same exploitation you experience. why do you DEMAND productivity if you are proletaria#yes being a leftist and anticapitalist are linked but. some people still internalize capitalism without questioning it#being a leftist is about challenging that rather than assuming you're correct i think#also scientists were very silly when describing time that's like. less than a millisecond i think
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theseus' guide chapter 8 spoilers !!!
an overly dramatic visualization of the chapter finale that i got way too ambitious with enjoy
#if this doesn't follow the exact description of what's happening it's because i can't read </3#fr tho just tried to make it match the music as best as i could#and maybe.. sometimes i visualise stuff without actually processing whats written down... who knows#also i am doing so great after all of that yep so normal. normal human behavior#gf theseus' guide#gravity falls#stanford pines#bill cipher#billford#fanart#art#digital art#animatic#artists on tumblr#hummise art
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*catboys ur shounen protag*
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#yuji itadori#yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#boss shes drawing shirtless catboys.............#listen i just bought the mewji plush ive been in a Mood ok#u all can forgive me im sure#i rly liked the original mewji sketch that i did last night but fr some reason when i went to clean it i could not get th expression??#it just looked so off and kind of uncanny and not like yuuji at all#so i scapped it :) hes less scrunchy faced now#also. gomenyasai i am still guilty of doubling up on human/cat ears....#espECIALLY with a haircut like yuujis it is beyond me how to omit them#if anyone can make it work u r a better artist than i#anyway im so happy the trend of like. putting ur ref pic next to the finished piece exists#adds a lil layer of visual interest i think !!!#plus i for one think its neat seeing what other ppl use fr ref#i realized while drawing this tht its been a minute since my last boy without a shirt on#every time i get to draw torso muscles i am like i shld do this more often !!! and then i never do#bc the only thing i like more than rendering muscles is a cute fit GHJFJHFGSHg#anyway itadori mewji ladies and gays enjoy <3#i have ! places 2 b !#'why were u late' . uh .
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They're judging their sibling's life decisions, and they are not impressed.
(And to think Jason and Dami have pit-madness in their system)
#color study#My fanarts levels depends on my adhd serotonin#Procastination it is#But they are so prettyyy so i am happy#dc comics#damian wayne#fanart#dc#robin#jason todd#red hood#If i dont doodle my artstyle revert to anime and i need to restudy human face anatomy and sometimes i love it sometimes i dont#Right now i love it#apparently if i want to put two days worth of work on a fanart it doesnt look bad huh#Also been using orange and red again on my skintones...i have been warching this youtube shorts guy that gives advice for art corrections#And its great#Had mild colorblindness so dont know how it looked on you guys but for me it looked good enough#if i make it orange again then just blame it tk artistic freedom lol
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Cooking up an older Clervie outfit design so I don't have to keep drawing her looking like her child self but Long
#genshin impact#clervie#ngl i have so many thoughts about an older clrv's design but at the same time artistically im not that creative </3#mostly tried to make her look more like a direct contrast to arlecchino's design (which was already present but we ignore that)#cause arle's design is mostly very sharp and angular while i'd imagine clervie's being much more rounded out and softer#like they are the round vs pointy cat meme in human form#the hair was really tricky cause on one hand much like everyone else we dont really keep the same hairstyle our entire lives#butttttt at the same time idk i feel like her long hair flowing down (and her headband) are very recognizable parts of her#so i decided to not change much (also cause i dont trust myself making multiple drastic changes without changing their identity too much)#also halfways through coloring I realized she's kinda giving crucabena outfit wise but we ignore that </3#anyways clervie would def be a support/healer character if actually playable (leaning more towards buffer support imo)#ITS A MASSIVE 50/50 IF SHE WOULD BE A HYDRO OR ANEMO USER but i decided hydro for the time being cause it compliments HOTH's dpses more#aka Arlecchino Lyney and partially Freminet since if i remember correctly he's more physical based but cryo nonetheless#i just really like the idea of Clervie's passive being along the lines of boosting stats/dmg if there's HOTH members present in a team#anyways sorry for the text wall I just really need to be kicked out of the kitchen#i am UNDERCOOKING the food#character design is not my passion </3
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thoughts on being engaged to duke!sunday, the head of the oak family, an incredibly influential figurehead within society, the close subordinate of emperor gopher wood who brought him and his sister in and raised him like his own, and the villain who faces a tragic ending in a novel you recently finished — the very same one you just so happen to find yourself transmigrated into. he is as cunning as he is blinded, a trait which brought ruin to many in the empire, and one which ultimately brought ruin to himself at the hands of the protagonists.
as luck would have it, you became a barely mentioned side character from a marquis family, whose role was to be the villain's wife stuck in a one-sided love who, too, would get caught up in the tragedy alongside him. however, now that it's you who is stuck in this position, you're determined to try any means necessary to deter him from going down that path, all in an effort to escape your predestined doomed fate!
of course, you didn't expect it to be easy. the day of your arrival in this world was already the night before your wedding, so you had little time to prepare yourself for the nonchalance of your supposed family, how they viewed you as but a means — a tool — to boost their influence and prosperity, the dismissive mannerisms of the household servants, and the absolute beauty of a man you will be married to.
(seriously. the novel descriptions did not do him justice. he was like... like... like he was handcrafted by god himself! and not to mention his sister, robin, was the very epitome of an angel! perhaps you're destined to perish by the god-tier visuals instead...)
to say the least, the wedding ceremony went by quickly. safe to say you didn't spend the night; he was cordial and gentlemanly upon letting you know that he won't do anything until you're ready, that you can take this relationship slow, but somehow you ended up feeling a tad insulted. like, who leaves their newly wedded alone in a big cold bed as they walk out on their own? a sick bastard that's who!
well, whatever. it's not like you need nor want to consummate with him! besides, you have bigger things to worry about — things such as your impending death. and, of course, the only way to stop sunday that you can imagine working is by chipping away at his resolve bit by bit, and opening his eyes to reality.
he is a tragic character, one who cares more about the well-being of penacony and its people than anyone else, but was manipulated into getting his hands dirty in the emperor's stead. you knew this. you sobbed over his story, cursed out the protagonists, and even fought internet randos on novel forums about sunday's motivation and how,
no, he is not just a stupid villain. he is a complex character with flaws and humanity and was cruelly taken advantage of by someone he considered family. he was deceived through the suffering the emperor wanted him to see to make him easily manipulated, creating a rift between him and robin to have that prominent separation. you know what? maybe you're just a !%#@ who can't even #@?"% read properly!
and yet you still find yourself at a loss when faced with the walls he has in place. your initial efforts went as well as it possibly could have; you trying to earnestly help him, while he "kindly" dismisses your offers! well, "kindly" being more condescending since you could read between the lines of his mannerisms and amiable demeanour, but that's fine! you expected this! that just means you have to double down on your sincerity, get through to his heart (somehow), and help him realise humanity isn't as weak as he's led to believe!
you have three years until the novel's plot officially starts, and another year after that until your demise. that's plenty of time to get him to warm up to you!
it was easier said than done, but after your valiant effort and abundance of time put into this relationship, which admittedly you could do with some of that lost time back, you could give yourself a pat on the back with the progress you made! while you definitely could have done without a lot of the headaches, it's safe to say sunday has significantly warmed up to you in comparison to your wedding day. he now willingly eats all his meals with you with some real conversation, takes garden strolls with you in the early evenings, invites you out for dinner at a restaurant at least four times a week, hell he's even joked and laughed with you more frequently! but most importantly, he has begun asking for your opinion before finalising any decisions he is required to make. and he actually listens and considers your side! now, that certainly is the best outcome you could hope for after all this time, and it most definitely will help in your endeavour to save you both from the protagonists!
however, you've noticed he's been more... affectionate? well, at the very least he now willingly holds your hand when in private (not just in moments when you're in the public eye and he has to make sure the family's reputation is spotless), sometimes he will hug you out of the blue ("i just need to... recharge. you have a way of calming me down. i hope you don't mind." ...how could you say no to his supreme god-tier face card? that's just a losing battle you won't even bother fighting against.), oftentimes he opts to just gaze wordlessly at you (robin had mentioned over one of your tea times how it almost appears as though there is no one but you in the world when sunday gazes at you with, in her words, "the eyes of a man so deeply in love!" ...whatever that's supposed to mean...), but a more recent development has been his sudden interest in kissing you; well, more specifically giving you a kiss to the back of your hand or on your forehead — certainly not anywhere near the lips! (besides, he's probably just gotten comfortable with you, enough where he can freely act without judgement. nothing more, nothing less.)
well, either way, development is development! soon enough, the time for the main plot to start has arrived. it of course follows what you remember, from the organised balls to the protagonists meeting to the political aspects of it all. the only difference is sunday's less active involvement in all the schemes and the emperor's ploy. rather, he seems more focused on you and the future of your marriage and even displayed a sudden interest in your practically non-existent relationship with one of the foreign diplomats, aventurine— wait...
"[name]," he calls your name out so sweetly you nearly disregarded it as someone else he was talking to. well, perhaps you would have done had he not suddenly appeared before you, a tight-lipped smile tugging the corners of his lips as he steadily approaches you.
oh. he doesn't seem very happy, if his tense figure is anything to go by. you wonder if one of the nobles grated his nerves a little too much this time?
sunday comes to a halt a step away from you. "i don't like that... gambler being so close to you. it... it brings me a rather unpleasant feeling." there's a slight, trembling pause. not a moment later does he close the gap between you, one knee on the ground as he matches your seated height on the fountain rim, your hands gently enclosed in both of his.
you idly wonder if this is what robin meant by the so-called "eyes of a man so deeply in love" she constantly gushed about, for the way in which he gazes up at you is enough to render you breathless.
"tell me, [name]," he begins once more. there is an underlying desperation woven within his tone, one which has your head spinning and heart thumping wildly as his trembling gaze holds you in place. "tell me, what am i to do with this fervent love and overwhelming adoration i hold for you?"
oh.
...oh.
perhaps your impending doom should be the least of your concerns when you now find yourself in the arms of a clingy husband...
(though, it's safe to say you did, in fact, manage to prevent him from succumbing to his tragic fate! you just gained a loving, yet slight slightly emotionally challenged husband along the way.
well, you can help him work through it; you have the rest of your lives now to figure it out, after all.)
#sophie talks : concepts <3#sunday x reader#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#guys i put too much work and brainpower into this just to be kept on the blog i needed to let it outhl#sighs i need to write a proper long one shot of this or like a (mini) series bc the brainworms.... are brainworming#mainly bc there are sooo many plot points i could incorporate#like… gopher uses u as a bargaining chip bc he notices sunday not being as active as well as his growing feelings for u and wants to#manipulate the beginnings of his development before it gets too far#cue u snapping him out of it or opening his eyes to humanity by fighting back or smth#anyway barks at manhwa tragic duke villain manipulated sunday x transmigrated a lil dense saviour complex reader + arranged marriage#also this turned out way longer than the 2 paragraphs i had in mind what the fuck#hes a tad unhinged but tbh why wouldnt he be 🧍♀️#also i spent like 2 hours on this and its nearly 4 am so... eepy time.... dreaming of this sunday.... honk shoo honk shoo...
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Messing up while trying to learn healthier coping skills or communication skills doesn't mean your progress ceases to exist.
If you lashed out at someone during an argument instead of using your coping skills, it's okay to forgive yourself. If you reacted based on your emotional urge instead of looking at the situation, that's okay. It happens.
No one is perfect all the time. I think we expect so much more of ourselves. In my case, because I felt so ashamed of who I used to be. It makes me feel extra pressure to "do better". But the reality is, people who aren't in recovery mess up too. And sometimes they may not even notice it.
You don't need to beat yourself up about it. In fact, beating yourself up about it doesn't really help anyone. You can learn from it. Was there something going on that made it harder to use your coping skills? Was there a certain trigger? Maybe a bad day? Take your new knowledge and move forward.
Your progress still very much exists. I promise.
#my post#i failed a lot when i self taught myself skills#i'd use really great communication skills for awhile#and then i'd ignore them to act on my emotions#even now i still mess up#it doesn't happen nearly as much#and i think i will always mess up#because i am human#but i can be accountable#and do better#also like#how i react after messing up is different now too#i apologize#i admit what i did wrong#and i try to do better
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