#i am also always thinking about manipulation or charm spells

[tamedstray]

Speaking of plots, my brain is currently thinking about:

Modern au roommate plots. Crack, slice of life, little threads and asks that are just good fun <3

Vigor with a s.ex worker AU, based of this headcanon

[lilhealthybean]

teacher's pet

"If I'm so special, why am I secret?"

tags: jjk and suguru geto

note: au, teacher!geto . want to clarify, you are at college, 21 years old, and he is 26. also this seems more like a hatefic towards him, so sorry, i really love geto.

Bell rang, everyone sighed as they dropped their pens on the table. Suguru stood up from his chair to gaze at all the students, pausing longer on you than on others.

"Class dismissed, please leave now, and I will collect your essays," Suguru said nonchalantly.

Everyone obeyed and exited the classroom.

"Don't leave, y/n, I need to have a little chat with you," he said as you walked past him.

You froze in place, staring at the floor. When you were alone, he approached you, and you could barely move.

“You didn’t answer my call last night,” Suguru said calmly as he gathered all the papers.

You began to assist him.

“I was studying for your exam,” you replied. He chuckled.

The truth was that you were tired of him and the relationship you both had. This affair between you began almost six months ago, when he became your literature teacher for the remainder of the course.

Initially, you were unaware of him, but unfortunately, he was not unaware of you. The moment he walked in and saw you, he knew you would be his, and his alone.

Before you knew it, he orchestrated situations to spend more time alone with you. Just weeks later, he had you under his control.

How could you resist? He was charming, always treating you well. Unlike others your age, he knew how to keep you happy with his words and actions. Showering you with gifts, weekend road trips, afternoon promenades… Was he even real?

From that point on, you became the teacher’s favorite. Always eager to answer his questions, volunteering for anything he requested, and studying diligently. You craved his approval, no, you depended on it. You were a submissive, manipulated student, and he was well aware of it.

“Darling, you know I couldn't give you the exam; that would be cheating,” he said, lifting your chin to meet his gaze.

You despised how, at first, you mistook his actions for romantic gestures. It dawned on you that they were manifestations of your submission to him and his thirst for power. Avoiding his gaze, you sighed. When did this relationship devolve into a manipulative game devoid of genuine emotion? You cursed your naivety, realizing too late that Geto's feelings for you were shallow, driven solely by a desire for control.

Escape eluded you not due to threats, but because of his cunning ways—his knack for twisting situations, gaslighting you, and ensnaring you in his deceptions. Despite recognizing the toxicity, you felt lost without his guidance. Not only lost but you felt alone, since you believed his lies about your college companions inadequacy and your need for his supposed superiority in age, intellect, and greatness.

"Why are you acting like that?" he teased.

"I'm not sure," you replied, distancing yourself.

"I think I know why you resent me," he murmured, grasping your hand. "Is it because of the tutoring session with someone else? You're not like them; you're special."

"If I'm so special, why am I a secret?" you blurted out, instantly regretting it.

Despite his transgressions, you remained attached to him, berating yourself for your foolishness.

"Are you upset because I kept you hidden?" he inquired, taken aback.

You nodded, consumed by humiliation.

"Darling, you're a secret because you're too good to be true," he murmured, planting a gentle kiss on your forehead. "If the authorities found out about us, it would spell trouble. It's not just me who'd suffer; you'd risk expulsion. Is that what you want?"

You shook your head, avoiding his gaze.

"Expulsion would tarnish all your parents' hard work," Suguru continued, his tone persuasive. "Let's face it, you enjoy this arrangement the most, right? Dating someone of your league, not like those monkeys you have as classmates, reaping good grades. It's your call, my dear. Shall we go public and sacrifice all that you and your family have built, jeopardizing your future? Or shall we keep it between us, ensuring your academic success and our continued lovely relationship?"

You swallowed hard, meeting his intense gaze. His captivating appearance clashed with his manipulative ways, momentarily leaving you speechless.

"Perhaps you would consider ending things with me, but then you'd lose the privileges I've granted you in my class. Do you truly believe your grades solely reflect your hard work?" Geto's condescending tone pierced through.

Trapped without an exit, you harbored resentment.

"Let's keep it a secret," you conceded, defeated.

How much longer would you endure this? Until his interest waned?

"You show such maturity for your age; that's why you're my favorite student," Geto remarked. "Now, be a good teacher's pet and leave five minutes after me. Tomorrow, I'll pick your for dinner so dress up decently, alright?"

[everythingblackblack]

Akako and Kaito relationship headcanons? Platonic and romantic if you can.

Please take this bunch of Kaito x Akako romance headcanons. 1. Kaito is the one doing the cooking in their relationship, he doesn't believe Akako would poison him, but he wouldn't risk it either. 2. When they sleep and take naps together, Aoko goes to look for them because they would just spend the whole day sleeping.

Kaito would be the first to wake up, he would look at Akako, smile and go back to sleep.

Akako would be the last to fall asleep, she stays awake to watch him sleep and make sure he doesn't have nightmares, she uses her magic to manipulate them and make him have nice dreams. 3. One time KID was being cornered by Snake and his boys, his hang glider was broken, he thought it would be the end, then a soft voice called him and said "Do you need a ride?" and extended her hand towards him. It was Phantom Lady riding a broom, the worry vanished when he saw her, he could only smile and say "If it's not an inconvenience for you, beautiful lady."

Okay, I can't help but think of Akako taking on the role of Phantom Lady and helping Kaito with his heists.

She definitely uses her simpler, less dangerous spells to support him.

4. Also, both sometimes sit on Akako's broom and look at the night sky, Kaito usually carries a blanket or uses KID's cloak to share with Akako and keep her from being cold. 5. When Kaito is sick or injured, Akako covers for him during his robberies as KID, making sure no one suspects him. 6. They both use romantic nicknames for each other, but not the typical "my love, my honey", he calls her his "precious and charming witch" or "the woman who enchanted his heart", Akako calls him "My sun, my moon, my light in the darkness". 7. Kaito always suffers when Akako catches a cold, every time he sneezes he casts random spells, some are silly like his hair turning green, others are more annoying, like being turned into a mouse and almost being eaten by the neighborhood cats, however, he will never leave his sweet witch alone. 8. Kaito learns magic from Akako, she explains to him everything she knows about magical jewels and about dangerous creatures that might appear in his path.

Kaito learns simple spells, and even uses them in his performances!

Kaito asks Akako if there is a variation of the "appearing roses" trick but with real magic, Akako says yes and shows him how to do it, when Kaito masters it, a flower appears for Akako and says "I know you like real magic, so I will only use this magic for you." 9. Akako is very protective of Kaito, she will use her magic to defend him from nosy detectives playing pranks on him.

One time, poor Hakuba had his desk filled with frogs.

Shinichi started losing things, he assumed it was because he was distracted, a witch actually got mad at him for kicking a ball at her boyfriend.

"How dare you ruin her pretty face?!" 10. Akako and Kaito always walk with their arms linked, this started because they started dating and Kaito was embarrassed to hold Akako's hand, but when he noticed that several boys were approaching her because they assumed they were friends, he began to offer her his arm so they could walk together. 11. They dig up graves together, Kaito isn't sure why Akako likes burying things in the graveyard or digging up corpses so much, but he doesn't ask, assuming it's witch stuff.

"You know, when you said we were going on a date, this wasn't the first thing I thought of." Kaito continues digging as he asks, confusion can be heard in his voice.

"This is just as fun as watching a horror movie." Akako mentions it with amusement and charm, as if going to dig up corpses is an acceptable equivalent of going to the movies.

"You make me question how crazy I am for being in love with you." 12. They take their birds out for a walk together, and unexpectedly Akako's crows get along quite well with Kaito's pigeons.

Kaito calls Akako the mother of his pigeons, and Akako calls him the father of her crows.

Akako and Kaito send each other romantic notes with their birds. 13. For Kaito's birthday, Akako used a spell so Kaito could talk to his father who was clearly very dead.

Kaito called her "the best girlfriend ever" and Akako didn't tell him that she almost brought him back (as a zombie), which she thought was a little disrespectful. 14. When Kaito destroyed Pandora, he collected some fragments and had a ring made with which he asked Akako to marry him.

Pandora is a symbol of eternity, and of his personal suffering, I find it romantic that he gave a part of that to Akako.

15. One of the scenarios I often think about is these two having 1 child, because I can't stop thinking about how paranormal that would be. Kaito trying to get his son down from the roof, or telling his guests things like "Careful! My son hasn't learned about gravity yet!" or just the kid turning his head like a character from a horror movie.

[yanderes-galore]

DaI(Dragon Age) Yandere Hawke Concept?

Sure! I decided to take a general look on Hawke since I am new to Dragon Age and primarily know him from 2. Also, Hawke is depicted as a Male Mage in this. I hope you like this regardless :) Considering how I think you can choose his personality in Inquisition... not much may change between the games for him yandere-wise (I'm guessing, still very new, I know most of this information through YT and Wiki)

If anyone wants Female Hawke in the future or Warrior/Rogue Hawke... I'm down, lol.

Yandere! (Mage) Garrett Hawke Concept

(Male Mage Hawke)

Pairing: Platonic -> Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Overprotective behavior, Jealousy, Possessive behavior, Paranoia, Implied Hawke's being influenced by either Red Lyrium or Demons (It's vague), Violence, Attempted murder, Threats, Forced companionship/relationship.

Hawke is an interesting character because of how his personality changes.

He was originally a player controlled protagonist, often allowing the player to choose his personality through dialogue.

He can be diplomatic/helpful, humorous/charming, or aggressive/direct.

I feel the way I would write him would be a combination of these three rather than just one.

He tries to be diplomatic and helpful when he can, he's charming and humorous towards those he cares for, and can be direct/aggressive towards those who defy or challenge him.

I imagine Hawke would meet you and allow you to help him like a companion.

For example, maybe you meet him before he's well-known and it still a refugee in Kirkwall.

He meets you and Varric and you two become close parts of his journey.

Later on... perhaps Hawke feels romantic attraction towards you, or just decides to stay a close friend with you.

I feel naturally Hawke is helpful and protective.

As the events of Dragon Age 2 continue, he grows closer to you throughout the years.

After all... you were willing to help him when you first met.

Now you two are working together.

In this case I feel Hawke can be dangerous to be around at times if his obsession takes over his thinking.

Especially in this concept where he's a mage.

Mages, if left uncontrolled, can be dangerous due to demonic possession.

There's a few cases of this in the events of Dragon Age as a whole.

Red Lyrium no doubt doesn't help this either.

So already that's two ways you could interpret as the cause of Hawke's obsession towards you.

Demonic forces or Red Lyrium corruption... that or another explanation.

Before any sign of obsession shows, you can tell Hawke has a way with words.

He's diplomatic with others, often being charming with his words to convince others to believe him.

He's helpful and friendly towards you and other companions, always having a smile on his face around you as he speaks.

But what is really affected by his obsession is his more aggressive and direct demeanor.

If anyone was hostile with you or tried to attack you, Hawke is ruthless.

You can tell at times he's fighting the urge to use violence, trying to focus on talking down the aggressor instead of blasting them away.

Honestly, Hawke's increased aggression may be the first red flag to you about his obsession.

Normally he can talk his way out of a situation.

But even at the slightest argument he's gripping his staff tightly.

His obsession gives off the impression that he may be under the influence of something.

You try to talk to Hawke about it, but he plays it off as him being fine.

Almost right after complimenting and being playful with you.

You can tell something is wrong.

His obsession starts in Dragon Age 2 and most likely continues during Dragon Age Inquisition.

There's times you have to talk to Hawke to prevent him from using spells on those he hates around you.

You try to convince him mages already have enough to worry about, he doesn't need to tarnish them any further.

Hawke, for the most part, listens to you.

You calm his more violent decisions due to his desire towards you.

That desire may be friendship... but it's more likely to be romantic as time goes on.

Perhaps this new behavior of his stems from his first contact with Red Lyrium all those years ago?

Either way... his obsession and corruption grows as he's around you.

Soon you begin to see Hawke's obsession becomes more than friendship.

The gaze he gives you is nothing friendly... it's full of desire.

His other companions, like Varric, express concern towards Hawke and you.

Hawke eventually feels he can't wait.

He gives you gifts, he tries to build a positive reputation with you...

All eventually so he can kiss and love you.

You can tell none of this is normal.

You miss when Hawke was playful and friendly.

Now towards others he's colder... but overwhelming towards you.

His hands never leave you, you can feel how possessive he is.

It's like this isn't him.

He feels like something completely different.

Such feelings only continue as he falls deeper into obsession.

Soon if you try to argue with him he turns more direct with you.

Eventually even whispering subtle threats in your ears, eyes giving off a slight red glow as he tells you to stay with him.

Soon the mage may just slap some restraints on you... or use magic to trap you in a prison of his design...

You'll be his... now and forever... no one will come between you now.

[fenharel-archived]

saskia i am on my hands and knees begging for some ysabel info! what’s her backstory? what’s she like during the game? she’s so 🥰💖

[PERSONALITY]

Ysabel is a noble, Lolth Sworn Drow, living in Menzoberrazan and is a School of Divination Wizard

Shes an chaotic neutral ENTP, Gemini, 125 years old and 1.60m tall

Ysabel is creative and intelligent, mischievous and cunning. Some perceive her as quirky, eccentric - funny, confident with a giant ego, but also power hungry and selfish, sometimes cruel. She has always been full of ideas, always thinking of new and better ways to do things. She’s always been curious, more often than not you find her with her nose stuck in a book. Her childhood bedroom was exploding with books about fungi or tomes like “The past and present: a Scholars Guide to Divination”. 

She’s also rather extroverted and a social chameleon, excellent at manipulation and persuasion, something her mother often took advantage of, as she would often use her children like chess pieces in her political affairs.

[BACKSTORY]

The noble house of Do’Rahel is one of the 8 powerful houses in Menzoberranzan

Ysi has two older sisters (Yris, Yvory) and one younger brother (Ysmael, my warlock charlatan & very first D&D oc 😘)

Their mother (Yaelryn Do’Rahel) is a matron mother, a priestess of Lolth and a powerful and influential figure in Menzoberrazan’s affairs

As most intelligent people are prone to, Ysabel was more questioning of things like societal norms or rules and ideas than what was socially acceptable in the Cult of Lolth, something her mother often reminded her of through whipping. But her mother was also more progressive than some would believe - when her daughter showed more interest in the arcane than continuing her training as a cleric she encouraged it. She thought that having one of her daughters in the circle of the Sorcere was something that could be beneficial to her.

After a particularly nasty ambush on Ysabel (your regular weekend in the Underdark really) her mother assigned one of their warriors as her personal guard - a tiefling slave called Lucien (Side note but he’ll be romancing Shadowheart in a future playthrough 🤓)

Lucien was in his early twenties and enslaved for around 5 years at the time, he was passionate and charming, warm and strong. But he was also as cunning as he was kind. Ysabel liked him, and often would spend more time with him than was strictly necessary. He had Ysabel figured out quickly, and noticed that traits in her that might be weaknesses in her mothers eyes, could be his opportunity. That growing close to her could be his ticket to get free.

But things didn't necessarily work out for him at first as he would have thought - both of them fell in love.

He would tell her stories of his previous life, about his ideals and morals, about the world above. How children do not fear for their life where he is from, how parents love their children unconditionally, how he missed feeding the neighbors ducks before he would go to school. Ysi would laugh at him sometimes, call him weak and soft. But sometimes she would indulge in his stories. Catching herself thinking of them in bed before she go meditating. How strange it must be to live so truly carefree.

The influence Lucien had on her was undeniable. Small and meaningless at first maybe but there nonetheless. There were glimpses of true kindness in Ysabel only he got to see. Glimpses of love - real love, not just the craving for flesh or power he was accustomed to from other Drow. He saw that he had shaken her morals and beliefs, slightly perhaps, but shaken. So when she finally wanted to set him free out of her own volition, instead of running when his binding spell was broken he asked for her to come with him.

She helped him to stage his own death and broke his bonds and let him go, but she didn’t go with him. This would be a turning point in her life, something she regretted for the rest of her existence, something she kept thinking about for years on end.

For many years after, she buried herself in her tower. She never dared to think of why she said no, instead she sat in front of her mirror of memories, where she relived the time she had with Lucien. But in doing so, a part of herself, the past party in fact, was lost in it. Her present self was split in half. She was either overly good or overly evil, and she became known for being mad and for research and experiments that were even extreme by Drow standards. 

She was in this state for at least 60 years. She had short periods of time where she managed to stabilize herself through experiments, but it never worked for long. Nevertheless, she made a name for herself, she was an extremely powerful wizard, was considered one of the masters of Sorcere and had a place in their council. (Much to their dismay. Assassination attempts from her colleagues were a daily occurrence tbh.)

[GAME TIMELINE]

House Do’Rahel was infiltrated by Absolute cultists, leading to the almost death of her sisters Yris and Yvory, and the losing a handful of their staff members. Ysabel's mother also heard rumors of similar things happening in House Baenre and other houses all over the city. Sensing a bigger plot, instead of sending warbands like her colleagues, she only send Ysabel and a handful of warriors on a scouting mission. She was to gather as much information as possible. If she would see an opportunity beneficial to them - she should take it, and most importantly she was also to kill or capture any heretic or deserter of Lolth.

The trail they followed led them to the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate. She didn’t know it at the time but she was on her way to Moonrise Towers when she was abducted. When she woke up in the Nautiloid, the tadpole didn’t just strip her of her powers, but also stabilized her mind.

Being fully herself again after so long felt like having someone forcefully pushing a heart back into her. At the beginning of her journey she’s manipulative (she does a lot of the “heroic” options not because she thinks it’s the right thing to do, but because she thinks it’s a smarter way to uncover what is going on and/or because working with the Absolute would go against Lolth), she’s also selfish and a bit cruel, but a lot of things she does suddenly don’t feel the same to her anymore, and an top of that the problem with the tadpole - it forces her into introspection. 

At some point she realizes that her companions remind her of Lucien, and the time she had with him. Her development throughout the game mainly consists of her realizing that she rather wants love and friendship than pure ruthless power. She develops a consciousness, empathy. Something Lucien already built the groundwork of so many years ago. She realizes she was too much of a coward back then, that she couldn't let go of all that power and desert Lolth even though that's what she really wanted. Surrounded by her new friends, she doesn’t want to make the same mistake again. In her mind, she’ll never be truly good, much less a hero. But she doesn’t want to be what she used to be either. Seeing real friendship, love, experiencing it for herself, she realizes the only times she wasn't hollow was with Lucien - and now, with them. 

Her new friends act as mirrors to herself as well. She sees herself in Gale when he gets obsessed over the Crown, she sees herself in Astarion when he’s willing to kill all his former friends for power. And she sees herself in Lae’zel, Wyll & Shadowheart when it comes to the influence a God, Goddess or devil can have on you. They were all on the path she already walked on, and the guilt she is carrying with her over things she can’t change anymore is overwhelming, so she stops them all, helps them see what is truly important. 

About the reason she was in Baldur’s Gate in the first place, she isn’t honest with her companions at first, she has obviously her own agenda like everyone else in that camp. She was forced to explain herself by Wyll when she let True Soul Nere kill the Gnomes. Having a tadpole in her head made everything more personal of course, she starts going against the Absolute not in the name of Lolth or for her mother but for herself and her own beliefs in Act 2.

After the game, her mind is still hers. Going through so much change and admitting her biggest fears repaired herself, like a curse she casted and then lifted on herself. Also, she and Astarion guide the Vampire spawn in the Underdark for a while, and she also researches for ways to make Astarion walk in the sun again (and I like to headcanon that she succeeds :3)

If you want to take a peak, here is Ysabels pinterest 🥺, and since i mentioned Lucien, here is his'.

[theworldbrewery]

In your opinion, would a ranged battlemaster fighter work well mechanically? I'm aware that many of the Maneuvers are for melee fighting, but I've been toying around with an idea for a crossbow or gun wielding battlemaster. Tbh the only reason that I'm concerned about the "functionality" of it is because the rest of my group minmaxes like crazy and I don't want my character to die cuz it can't keep up with the rest of the group. Not to yuck their yum or say I'm not having fun in the group! I just wanna know if this is a build that will hold up.

I am pretty much constantly thinking about Battle Master maneuver strats, so you came to the right place!

A few key points:

The only Core Rulebook maneuvers that require you to be in melee when attacking are feinting attack, lunging attack, and sweeping attack (pushing attack is in a grey area; I would rule the "pushed up to 15 feet away from you" as being up to 15 feet in a direction away from your location, not that 15 is a limiting distance from your character--but another DM might not agree).

Parry and riposte involve an enemy getting into melee with you, which is possible even if you're a ranged attacker, but not necessarily ideal.

Disarming strike, distracting strike, goading attack, menacing attack, precision attack, and trip attack are all delicious options for a ranged attacker to take. (Ambush, from TCoE, is another good choice)

Basically, you should always have *some* means of melee attack if you're going to choose this subclass, because you can't guarantee that your enemies won't move around the battlefield and Get You. But in general, focusing your skillset around ranged attacks is perfectly possible.

Battlemaster mechanics are made for manipulating your enemies' and allies' options. A disarming strike gives an ally in melee a chance to steal the enemy's weapon, for example. Other options mentioned above might give your allies' attacks advantage, put the enemies at disadvantage, or impose other conditions (frightened, prone) in addition to more standard effects like dealing extra damage or boosting your own rolls.

With that in mind -- if you have a caster-heavy party and they also enjoy these types of strategic moves, you will want to choose your maneuvers with care. Nerfing an enemy will always feel cool, but with AOE effects, they can often hit multiple enemies with their effects at the same time. Assuming you're playing with people who aren't all about hogging the spotlight, though, you can just tell them this is a mechanical role you're planning to take, and they will likely not step all over your fun.

Now, as you've noted, the Battle Master isn't built with ranged combat in mind. There is another option: the Arcane Archer. It works in a similar way; you get a limited number of special effects you can apply to your ranged attacks. These effects are explicitly magical, but they are not spells. The main caveats to this proposal are as follows:

This subclass calls for a high (or at least decent) Intelligence score, since the save DCs are calculated using that ability.

You get fewer uses per short/long rest. When you take the subclass, you get two uses of the special "arcane shot" effects per short rest, instead of the 4 you start with in Battle Master.

This is likely negotiable with the right DM, but Arcane Archer is dedicated to archers specifically -- no firearms allowed, RAW.

With that information at hand, I really do recommend reviewing the list of Arcane Shot options -- they're long, so I can't recap them all here, but they tend to work more like particularly beefy cantrips with multiple damage effects and an additional, usually single-round debuff, e.g. reduced speed, banishing an enemy for a round, or limiting the enemy's field of vision.

To me, this subclass needs some reworking (a core subclass ability shouldn't be a two-and-done, IMO), but it has a charm of its own. In many ways, these two subclasses are mirrors of one another. I just think that structurally, Battle Master is more mechanically sound -- and therefore, unless you have a homebrew-minded DM, you should probably go for that one.

(Also! If you're concerned about the so-called "caster-martial divide" or other "power creep" issues, talk with your DM about it! They ostensibly want you to have a good time and not feel left behind, so if a liberal hand with martial-oriented items you can use to offset some of those power gaps.)

[all-pacas]

i am BORED at WORK, doing this one too, also for my fanfic's version of durge.

1: Where in the Faerûn is your Tav from?

Baldur's Gate. She looks Drow, but thanks to the whole "born of the discarded flesh of Bhaal" thing, she's never even been to the Underdark. She has a very recognizably Baldurian accent, which most of the party probably takes in stride but Minthara at least would find Weird.

2: What is your character's alignment?

Neutral Evil as Durge. As Tav, she's trying her best to at least hit Neutral Good. Probably more like Lawful Neutral.

3: Race and subclass?

Drow. She'll say Selardine if asked, but she has no clue. Just knows she doesn't worship Lolth.

As Durge she was an Oathbreaker Paladin. As Tav, she's currently a Great Old One Warlock/Paladin. In a story and not mechanics sense, she's more apt to use swords and armor, but is weirdly good at mind control magic.

4: If your Tav was a companion, where would they be found?

On the little dock by the crashed ship, staring out at the water. Approached, she'd at first seem not to notice you, and be distracted and even seemingly unconcerned about the tadpole -- before abruptly deciding to follow you.

5: Dark Urge or no?

Yessss

6: What companion are you platonically close with?

Shadowheart and Gale, potentially also Wyll. Thanks to the artefact deciding to float on over to Tav, Shadowheart is sticking pretty close and Tav is like "this is friendship?" Gale meanwhile is (going to) give her magic lessons, and Wyll is just someone Tav admires, without seeing any of his faults and downsides.

7: Romantically close with?

Gonna be hooking up with the asshole vampire boy.

8: Who are they suspicious of?

No one. Which is a problem. Tav at her core believes she should be worshipped and feared and adored, and so she also believes that she is treated that way. She takes praise as a matter of fact. She's very easy to manipulate.

9: Is your Tav from Baldur's Gate? Why are they travelling there?

She is. And she wasn't going there in particular, but now that she has Shadowheart's Artefact, she kind of wants to ride that mission's coattails.

10: Are they proficient in playing any instruments?

Not in the least. Can't sing, either.

11: Weapon of choice?

Shortswords and daggers. Much more finesse that way, you want delicate control when you're mangling a corpse in Bhaal's name.

12: What is their orientation?

Pansexual, like everyone else. Specifically "you are into me, so I am into you." Not really uh... sexually outgoing? It's more like she will reflect any affection she's given first.

13: What are their thoughts on killing? Is it a necessary evil or do they enjoy it?

She enjoys it a lot.

14: What hobbies does your Tav have?

She's kind of trying to figure that out. Amnesia sucks! She doesn't really care for reading, she wants to do something with her hands. She could potentially get into something like embroidery or wood carving, if her companions teach her.

Durge's hobby was murder.

15: What NPC's do they like? Which one's do they dislike?

She really likes the Emperor. He seems like a really nice dude. :( None so far that she dislikes, but because of her habit of mirroring, anyone who is rude first she'll probably treat in kind.

16: Do they have a favorite creature in the Faerûn?

Shovel

17: Do they enjoy life as an adventurer?

A lot! I mean, Tav doesn't remember anything before that, but she knows enough to know her past life wasn't pleasant. She was also kind of a workoholic as Durge, you know, always murdering and plotting! Adventuring is kind of relaxing.

18: What would your Tav be doing if they weren't kidnapped on the Nautiloid?

Leading a murder cult and taking over the world. The more aware of this she becomes, the more uneasy she feels.

19: How do you think they'll meet they're end?

In the Temple of Bhaal. :)

20: Would they destroy the elder brain or control it?

Is serve it an option?

21: What is your Tav's favorite spell?

Friends or Charm Person, oops.

22: What languages is your character fluent in?

Common. This is mildly embarrassing to her. She doesn't know anything else.

23: What do they do after the absolute crisis?

Find a new life. Try to find a purpose as Tav, not as the Dark Urge or as the woman she was before Bhaal. Maybe do some good: not in a Wyll heroic way, but as a way of balancing the scales of her bad deeds. Adventuring more sounds fun.

24: Does your character believe in the afterlife?

She's terrified of it.

25: What arcana major best represents your Tav?

Hanged Man / Death. Being trapped, being renewed.

26: What animal best represents your Tav?

Snowy owl. Not for the wisdom tropes. For the unblinking stare and silent kills.

27: What was their life like before the events of BG3?"

She was Durge. She killed people. She fucked Gortash. She was semi-conscious, given entirely to her father Bhaal.

28: Is your character the de facto leader of the party? Or do they consider someone else to be the leader?

Gale's the DEEPLY reluctant leader. I plan for Tav to take over slowly, due to Gale hating the job and her having some type A tendencies. But no one's trusting her with a full time leader position.

29: Does your Tav want to utilize the tadpole powers or not?

Right now she does, because her bestie The Emperor said she should.

30: What's your favorite thing about your Tav?

??? I... like the idea of Tav being just naturally a bit quiet and stoic as a half-joking reaction to the mostly silent protagonist thing. I also think the extreme gullibility will be a lot of fun and lead to a lot of bad decisions.

[redstrewn]

Oooh I hadn't even thought abt the Kuras/Mhin connections for anthem of the lonely when I sent it in your MIND, you're so right!!! They too self isolate, more deliberately than Ais even, they're such loners (*rattling bars* Let me iiinnn!!)

Also hii again, I may be spamming you with asks a little so sorry about that but I come to you with another Starset song! Today I bring you Alchemy.

Consider, if you will, MC realizing Leander's a manipulative weirdo but not being able to stop falling for it anyway. All the references to magic and sorcery and curses, the references to drugs (once again, poisonous Leander realness) the desperation to break out of the cycle, just the ENTIRE second verse lmao, "I finally removed the mask you made so you can't hide the masquerade underneath" both a mask AND a masquerade reference?? Plus all the talk about being charmed and pulled back in.

The outro is kind of irrelevant but there's probably some way to connect it if you wanted, maybe something about Leander's showmanship being able to conceal whatever he wants to do with mc from the public, even making them disappear entirely idk (this bit is just random thought you can always just ignore the outro entirely it's just something the band does for most their songs)

Ok that's all for this one, it's just incredibly Leander coded.

OH YESSSSS THESE LYRICS HIT AS LEANDER SO GOOD MMMMM

I piloted the labyrinths of lies

Haunted by the hooks in me

And now I’m falling right back

Into the trap that you set for me

Back inside your spell

I'm back in your sorcery

Alchemy, alchemy

Tell me what you’ve done to me

Synthesized and transformed

Pathetic lifeform

Alchemy, alchemy

I don't want your drug in me

You get me high 'til I want more

But you hit like chloroform

I fell in right for the fantasy

Enchanted by the chemistry

The more that you took, the more I see

I’m locked inside a conjuring

I’m just a mannequin, stuck

In your plans to get struck

By the trance you put me in

Plant your curse under my skin

Ok this makes me have fun w the idea that leander "poisoning" MC so to speak so that he isn't "affected" by their curse is kind of like him fighting fire with fire. Putting a curse to combat MC's. Hehhee fun to think about.

I let the beast in you get the best of me

Tossed aside like old debris you don't need

I finally removed the mask you made

So you can't hide the masquerade underneath

Also I LOVE THE OUTRO

Ladies and Gentlemen!

You are about to be astounded!

You are about to be amazed!

What I am about to show you is not an illusion!

This is a skill I've learned from the ancient masters of the Far East!

Before your eyes, I will make a person disappear!

I love thinking abt his CRIMES and how he can just make people "DISAPPEAR." Also i like thinking abt how if someone ascends to godhood, would they even appear as a person anymore? Godhood is more of a concept. Like I think of Madoka disappearing from the world in her ascension. Just so much fun.

THANK YOU FOR SUGGESTING THIS SONG ITS COOL also thanks for ur patience I know this was in my ask box since like forever 🙏

[katerinaaqu]

Awww girl 🫂🫂❤️ I am so happy you liked it! You are so sweet as always! It's okay I was partially expecting that it wouldn't get much attention. It still hurt a bit of course but it's okay. I ain't writing very positively about the musical and all so yeah and not even one of the famous creators anyways hehe no problem 😊 aww ✨️ thanks dear!

Hehe yeah poor guy! 😅 I remembered how you brilliantly said he would start with a very nasty hangover hahaha 😆 I just had to add that! The guy practically consumed a crater of wine by himself hahaha he should be having a nasty wake up call! Hahaha yeah the walls strike again. Oh my you are right or a prison!

Yeah because in Greece drunkenness was severely discouraged so yeah feeling guilty that he got drunk in front of these women plus yeah the opening up. Oh yeah and even if he can grasp it he tries to make excuses in his head because she was his savior and all. Oh yeah for sure Odysseus is too clever even under his fear or spells he would still think that it was very convenient they had a cure for hangover ready.

Oh my your imagination puts me to shame dear! 🫠 originally I wondered whether it would simply be a different medication that just works on stomach but man it could be so that they can handle him more! Oh gosh yeah even if he suspects her flirting he has no clue yet how BADLY she wants to be sleeping with him now!

Hahahaha she is a reverse Dilla isn't she? Hahaha Dilla has medicine ready to help Caleb but Calypso first causes the problem and then she brings the solution hahaha 😆 😂 oh yeah even if it was just his fear for Gods speaking louder it could also be her spell making him more susceptible but he definitely catches up more and more and even if his instict tingles on her motivations he still does not want to put two and two together. Hahahahahaha it is perfect isn't it? 😂😂😂

Yeah I was inspired by many abuse victims who make up excuses on the behavior of their abuser whether the abuser didn't know or that they themselves deserve it. In his case is a bit the first. She saved him and helped him so she shouldn't wish him bad right? But yeah just excuses indeed plus his fear jndeed that he has insulted enough gods already. Oh man for sure Calypso uses that to her advantage as she did the night prior. And yeah Circe was a powerful goddess who could crush him but she seemed more considering plus he had his men back then. Now he is alone and Calypso seems to be raising red flag after red flag in his head now.

Hahahaha always! Oh man you are so amazing in your analysis! Indeed she might as well wish to manipulate him into believing he is in a safe place but man yeah Odysseus gets more and more suspicious of this being all a stage or too set up. But yes she is his savior so he tries to indeed convince himself that his worries are misplaced that he is just being paranoid.

Hahahahahaha oh gosh maybe? 🤣 like the poor guy lying down and not getting up hahaha oh man girl! Maybe indeed how they rush to his assistance can be potentially how he loses his freedom of movement and his autonomy! Oh man she is getting all the more creepy isn't she? Hahaha oh gosh then I am succeeding hahaha my plan was to give an explanation as to why she does what she does and maybe give her the human dimension but she is still obviously a manipulator and abuser.

Yup. Some of the worse abuses come from genuine emotions. Which is basically what happens here. She loves and desires him but she disregards his choices and she is not willing to let him go. Hahahaha the "simpleton" part was also in homeric poems hahaha basically he described Odysseus as someone who seems like having no idea what is happening like having an aloof look but then he starts speaking and eveeyone can tell his true intelligence. 😆 but yeah she basically gets too charmed but she disregards him and doesn't respect his choices. And yeah although someone can sympathize with the unrequited love her methods are definitely unacceptable especially indeed as she starts caring less and less about his consent

Hahaha yeah. Not jumping on him was a good idea not because it would be a clear violation but because he would remember and resent her!

Oh man "opening the shell by force" is so accurate! Hahaha creeps rising

Yeah at this point is where Odysseus thinks she tries a bit TOO MUCH to show him that she cares to the point of being suffocating. Yeah in her mind is the necessary evil so that he would get things off his chest but yes to Odysseus is a clear violation to his free will.. oh man yeah Odysseus tensing again and yes her lust speaking again.

Yes I thought it would fit. In a way that is one of the "decent" conversations she has. In a way returns the favor of him opening up with her opening up in return but yes at this point she might as well also use it to drive the conversation to the emotional manipulation of her wanting him to stay with her. In a way bringing him to the point of feeling sorry that she is lonely so that he would be coersed to stay. But you are absolutely right. She is surrounded by yes men (women) and people who grant her all her wishes. That is not proper company for sure and there is a tragedy to that which I wanted to portray here. However yes it also made her feel that she is not entitled to someone saying no to her and that no is unacceptable to her now. In a way Odysseus is a gift sent to her someone she loved and someone beyond her control but yes her actions are definitely inexcusable. I am so glad you feel so!

Oh man I couldn't have said it better! 😶 oh yeah for a few seconds it almost felt like her emotional trick would work but yes Odysseus becomes all the more aware and these games confuse him. Yeah I fathomed all gods have this kind of arrogance here since they are immortal and all.

Absolutely. He has this gorgeous woman (an immortal goddess no less) that could have anyone she wanted showing such an interest in him. Who wouldn't be flattered? Especially indeed as Odysseus is no longer young and all but yes all the more now especially now that he is back in full health he realizes more and more that he has to leave.

Hahahahaha yeah 🤣 hypocrisy 101 here hahaha 😆. Yup basically she says the reason he has to return is pitiful and unimportant and to put it on top she reminds him in a way that he was disliked by many and uses his friends and comrades who betrayed him as the sole proof of that.

Oh man yeah here it is! 😶 Calypso begins full attack now banging him relentlessly with things that she knows happened to him but she brings them before him to make him see her point of view. And yes she wants to show their betrayal as simply evil act while indeed it was much more complicated than that. Oh man she does seem like she kept that information just in case she needed to use it doesn't it? And yeah she knows but she treats it as the last solution to make him "see the truth" while in reality it is far from it. 😢

Oh man thanks dear 🙏 and man so true! And yeah Odysseus can understand because he had suffered with them. He also had no food on the island and he also started to fear for their safety. He was part of it. Ans man for real the cows being there was absolutely brutal for their psychology!

Yeah again I used the idea that Polites was his best friend so he would still defend him and wishing to see things from his perspective as much as possible even if he too has some doubts. Yeah anyone can be unfair in rage and frustration and yes to be fair Eurylochus had more than just his share of experiences but yes he doesn't bear the same responsibility as Odysseus and he cannot fully comprehend the depth of his weight but still he does suffer that's for sure. Oh my the very least indeed! And man that's also true. Is one thing hearing the future and afraid and try to prevent it but the past he can do nothing about and the loss is still recent too and yes he knows the terrible things that happen next...

Aww thank you so much dear! 💓 that's indeed what I tried to portray here! And yes he also feels the injustice to what he had to suffer as a result but yes coming back to blaming himself as well and man it is a battle isn't it? But yes he also recognizes the trauma of his comrades because quite frankly he had been through it too.

Gosh thanks dear! That moment in the Odyssey was insane indeed so I wanted to do it justice so yeah man so many emotions of tension there because only Odysseus knew what was coming...no one else. Oh yeah that moment was insane indeed how the men were looking at charybdis but they had no idea!

Man right?! 😨 and man yeah he hoped till the last moment he wouldn't hear the sound of the beast waking but alas...and man for real Polites speaking of it just stabs him in the heart and yeah that was why I made him remember his own trauma; astyanax who died so violently and man yeah he tried even the last second to warn everyone to get down but yeah too late!

Aww that means a lot coming from a horror film fan dear! And as we discussed I imagined the mouths opening sideways instead but it was a momentary inspiration hehehe 😉 man the description in the Odyssey was just the most brutal stuff indeed! 😨 and man yeah imagine seeing or hearing that...

Man yeah the tension and silence you could cut it with a knife and of course Odysseus knew he had made the decision to sacrifice them for the sakes of the majority but man...judging by how he describes that moment when he tells his story I imagine indeed that it was something that scarred him but yeah I imagined Eurylochus being beyond himself at that moment and yeah I imagined he would be totally resentful and thanks 😊 you are so sweet! Indeed on one hand Odysseus hid it from them so they are furious but then again what could he say indeed? How could he say "6 of us are going to die"? Make them look around and hope it wouldn't be them to die?

Oh man who wouldn't indeed? Oh man you are so right! Now he feels as if his death is always close and that indeed pushes him to the "ill be damned if I die here" mode! Oh man it was the absolutely wrong thing to say wasn't it? But yup you got it! I WAS referencing to my other story "Guilt" in a way reflecting also the emotion of guilt he feels here and yes he puts the Visage of the harsh leader indeed because if he can no longer make his authority be heard he must indeed impose it to bring them all home so they will not be divided but yes it breaks him inside much more now that he lost them all! 😢

Awww right?! Breaking down completely 😭😭 and man yeah she feels like she achieved her purpose to make him resent them...and man so true it is indeed a parallel again isn't it? But man so true that is the difference indeed

Yeah I imagined she would bring it up at least one more time so I imagined that would be the first time and aww thanks! I mean Odysseus now literally KNOWS the horrors of the underworld! He has seen it! Which makes his decision to refuse Calypso even more admirable in my mind! Oh man right? He got his eyes back to his goal!

Hahahaha thanks 🤣👌 and man so true now he uses that very same eagerness he has to go back home against him! And yes I thought to add here the Agamemnon perspective too!

Yeah and yes it is it is freaking long especially indeed for duties of royals but man! Yeah she just says "literally no one waits so long" which as it was proven was not true and man so true again!

Man once again so right girl! ✅️ and man yeah that moment where she says not even he would wait is probably one of the first bells ringing in his brain how she will imply what she wants of him as well and yeah the special bed that is literally rooted in his homeland man that is too much to bear indeed but his mind is now haunted by doubt indeed! What Calypso said is perfectly logical...and yet it kills him! He doesn't want to accept it!

Oh man yeah his fighting spirit is back and even in the worst case scenario he is ready for his "just do it" attitude and that drives her crazy. Oh man true hahaha Assara material indeed! Oh boy! 😶

Yup and to be fair from a God perspective much more a helplessly in love one that is absolutely frustrating! Yeah I wanted to signify how she stopped using flirting or indirect ways and now she is ready for the next stage! How indeed she is ready to act according to her feelings in a demanding way.

Oh man once more on spot! He is alert awake and with his guard up but he still believes that if she helped him once she would again! 😢 and man so true now she is like a little girl that denies him stuff because indeed she doesn't want to "return the toy"

Man yeah I thought she would twist the laws of hospitality because indeed he didn't seek her hospitality originally but was washed out at her home beaten up and half-dead. She decided to help and now she holds it against him because indeed she knows he has nothing. And man yeah the guy didn't have even time to comprehend! And yeah now the true depth is seen before him! And now he can only panic because he knows he is trapped!

Oh man exactly like "you did it before so what's your problem now?" And man thinking of it is indeed so unfair and frustrating and even more tragically in theory he wouldn't be doing something out of the ordinary if he had lovers since it was frequent back then but for him who is in love with his wife man that strikes so deep!

Man for real bacause even in the Odyssey with him crying every day Calypso was like "aww you gods are jealous of our love!" Like...dude... ans Odysseus just suffers...

Man I should imagine he would indeed! Man! And the begging ritual is another sacred move how a person falls down and hugs the knees of the benefactor and the benefactor generally is not allowed to refuse anything. Odysseus did that with Circe among others. Even gods do it when Thetis begged Zeus to grant her son's wish among others. Man she reminds him of the hubris committed that brought him there and yes she uses the last thing he has; his faith against him! Hehehe bingo I used several phrases that nowadays are more associated with this musical hehe like "I'm just a man" or "monster" etc because I feel they would so fit for this context! I am a bit petty myself but man poor guy indeed! He is just mentally exhausted! And yes how many times he felt his own will or honor were disregarded!

Yeah I think that would strike deeper than anything! And now indeed he breaks completely feeling that trust is basically something nonexistent. He was distrustful before but now he just doesn't trust his own shadow anymore.

Yeah it is here! 😢 oh man thanks dear that was exactly what i wanted here! Their total contrast! She is in anticipation but he is practically dying there...he doesn't want to feel...

Yeah he doesn't even want to do it ans man for real but calypso doesn't allow him to breathe...and yes but now is infinitely worse because he feels it. And yeah he tries to avoid some parts but she won't let him and man yeah some acts of passion now became toxic and he tries to encourage himself to endure it 😭

Man for real! His own body reacting is probably the worst than anything and yeah he tries to stop himself from making any sound at all while yeah trying more and more to save himself from breaking

Oh man yeah or that indeed she js the best choice for him and all he needs is to see it while he is just dying inside...

Yeah in a way he had "consented" with Circe because he had to but here is just totally different and man yeah now the act that was supposed to be passionate and delightful is now distorted and the memories he made of her are being destroyed man I know right?! The pressure! I was inspired by that scene in the Tudors but yeah just twisted

Oh gosh for real! Finally is over but it is over means that his body again reacted to it and man I couldn't resist that phrase from her! She just refuses to acknowledge his pain.

Man exactly! And yeah Odysseus is just destroyed at that point! And man he held onto that hope till the last possible moment! Only go be crushed 😭😭😭 Nope she just doesn't listen. In her mind she is better option and for all she is concerned she is right and his family has moved on...and yeah she truly is sincere with it...and man such a great parallel! Oh man yeah mocking his honor which he feels he has just trampled is just too much...

Man I dunno why I just needed to add that there!and yeah seems so easy and yet so impossible! And man I just thought it would make sense! He tries to leave but he is prisoner now...no escape... yeah he is denied everything at this point...

Oh man it is isn't it? And exactly like ye is a disobedient child when he is literally in despair and yeah fearing for his home and family all day! And yeah the first out of countless times he cries in that beach and yeah he is just forgotten and abandoned there...no escape and no comfort! And remembering his mourning as well

Awww thank you so much dear! Yeah he lost them all...only Elpinor got a proper funeral for that matter... (hehe you know me i couldn't resist adding that hehe). Aww yeah thanks dear! Somehow I thought he would use just a sharp object he would find. Ans yes he can only form that tribute to them.

Yeah they just contrast each other ans man yeah imagine he comes in in that statw and she just thinks they will fix their rough start! Oh man you are so right 😭😭😭😭 it so fits here! For both of them! Oh man yeah the duty feeling just reached zenith!

Awww dear I am so happy you think so! And I hope I will do some tiny justice to those old stories! Man that music was so eerie I just had to use it! And aww I am so glad you think so! Poor guy!

Awww 🫂 you are so sweet but for real I wanted to show that! And man you are right! He is there already double the time and still not even close at finished! Man he absolutely is 😭😭😭 and man he is beiig abused constantly no wonder indeed! Gosh indeed she is no better than those monsters to him now! Yeah he is now feeling like shame plays no role in him anymore. He is just numb like a doll... man yeah many abusers accidentally cause injuries and apologize later but man indeed it doesn't change anything and they DO happen again as well! 😢 yup. Completely ignored.

Oh man in a way indeed 😢 and man like a pet indeed! Yes I wanted it to be yet another reason. Oh boy yeah at this point is no longer just a sweet desire it is something that eats him up day by day and exactly what he does to survive just doesn't seem to end anymore. Oh man for real! One can only imagine! Ans even just her behavior towards him makes him feel almost that "this is how it is with people" and that doubt is eating him up

Man and it makes sense that 15 years is enough to call anyone officially dead yet alone this! And man he surely lost so much...and so much more is to come! 😭😭😭 ans man I would assume it would! Poor guy just realizes more and more his fleeting youth. I bet he even fears he would die there of old age or longing...

Yeah....😢 yup exactly I wanted to connect that to Polyphemus as well as his experiences after as a beggar to Scheria and even his own palace in Ithaca. Oh man for real!

I know right?! The last thing he has, his faith is also now crumbling because he feels abandoned. And even unpleasant things like nightmares that at least were "his" are now taken from him and yeah him actually cursing Athena the goddess he adored most of all was just the switch to realize his own downfall! And trying desperately not to fall so much!

Man yeah he just wants to see this place burn! Ans aww exactly that's what I wanted to show! Man he is so ready for it! And yeah and he wasn't even the goodie guy to begin with but I wanted to show how he is now totally thirsting for blood and revenge...and yeah now he is like "I am screwed anyway. Just one more won't screw me worse!"

Oh man yeah it is totally a different league! 😭 man right?! That is so what I imagined on them! The absolute contrast! 💯

Yeah he just shuts down oh man "cold curtain close" girl you are a genius!

Oh gosh girl 🫂❤️✨️ you are so kind! 😍 and it is so sad that this is considered "controversal" since abuse is abuse no matter what the victim or the perpetrator but aww 😊✨️🫂 thanks you so much! Gosh 😭 it is always a delight to read your comments and reviews!

✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️❤️✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

Survivor's Guilt and Survior's Duty (P3 + After Note)

Continuation from Part 2:

Swift fingers were moving constantly through golden thread, mixing the different shades perfectly. The hands were moving to and fro as the humming of the sweet song kept on interrupting the rhythmical sound of wood against wood as the tapestry was slowly gaining shape in the loom. It was the skillful fingers of an ancient being beautiful like spring and deadly like winter that was weaving this. Somewhere among the sea of gold and crimson there was a pair of threads that didn’t match in color or texture.

One jet black

And one silver white…

*

Odysseus slowly opened his bruised eyes and he wished he hadn’t. He barely opened them a tiny bit and he shut them closed once more as his sight was mercilessly attacked by the brightness of the white grotto. His stomach was turning and he felt like throwing up everything he ever had eaten in his life and his head was turning around as if someone was spinning him at a whirlpool. He moaned holding his head with both hands, slowly rolling to the side. The headache and dizziness were pounding him relentlessly.

“Gods…my head…” he thought hoping the nausea would leave him alone

The events of the night before were also present in his mind and the embarrassment didn’t help his condition at all. He had drunk himself to the point of oblivion that much he knew. Normally he should know his limitations but he was unable to refuse the goddess who was filling his cup. Once he dared to look around (and of course seeing everything moving around him) he spotted a goblet next to the bed containing a bubbling liquid. Odysseus eyed him more suspiciously than what he would originally have wished to.

“Well…that was awfully organized…” he thought again

Either way downing the drink seemed to help a lot with his unsettled stomach although not spectacularly with his dizziness. The first thing he noticed was that Calypso was not working in her usual spot. That’s odd, he thought, but then he fathomed she wouldn’t sit around and sleep or work by the side of a severely drunk human especially given the whatever the heck would turn out to look like the day after! He moaned once more as he forced himself, excruciatingly slowly to sit up on the bed and place his feet on the floor.

“Gods…never again…” he mumbled holding another gag back.

But it was true that Calypso’s potion was working wonders although he needed at least a couple of more minutes to stand up and start practically staggering until he reached a wall to support himself and walk out, possibly hoping some fresh air would do him good. As he walked down the grotto to his best abilities he surely was wondering how the hell he managed to get so drunk even with the goddess practically encouraging him. He should know better than that. Stopping at a sudden wave of dizziness he sighed and wiped some sweat off his face.

“Alright, Odysseus…no more wine for you…” he mumbled to himself, “…you clearly are not mature enough…”

Beneath his layers of self-sarcasm, though, he did feel like he had embarrassed himself before the goddess. Not only had he drunk himself to stupor; true it was Calypso the one to keep serving him but perhaps she didn’t know the human limitations to drinking. Perhaps she overestimated his tolerance or perhaps… (Odysseus always had one random ominous thought to the back of his head but he always chose to dismiss it, especially now that he needed all help he could get from some god given that he already had half the pantheon chasing after him!), but he also cried like a baby, opening up things he never wished to share in the first place, yet alone in front of an immortal goddess and her immortal nymph entourage. His situation was already bad enough; he was a beggar without anything to offer to the goddess; he didn’t need to be seen as an uncontrollable drunk as well. And this goddess somehow gave a different energy than Circe (and by gods wasn’t that experience scary enough).

He found Calypso lazily laying upon her sofa as her maids were attending the room. His heart was clenched by an unpleasant feeling once more but he dismissed it as his natural aversion towards the fear against the divine. Not to mention he was still feeling ashamed as he couldn’t be more. Calypso sensed his presence and smiled almost maternally at him.

“Good morning, Odysseus” her melodic voice reached his ears. “I am glad to see you up”

“That is a way to put it, goddess…” Odysseus mumbled as he was practically assisted by the maids to sit on the couch opposite her

His dizziness was still awful but he felt better already.

“My throat is dry…” he admitted, “Could I perhaps…have some water?”

Calypso smirked.

“Bring him some water” she ordered

As the cup was given to Odysseus he basically drained it, feeling the cool liquid settling down.

“Blessed you be, goddess…” he whispered again, “And thank you for your treatment. It worked wonders”

“I am glad” Calypso said with her usual feline smile. “I would hate to see you struggle with nausea”

Odysseus drew a deep breath to calm himself a bit. Calypso once more observed him and her heart was flattering. She discreetly tasted her lips imagining that chest moving up and down with his breathing. She looked upon that man that was now monopolizing her dreams and fantasies stand there in the light; his hair appearing almost auburn as sunlight was showering them. He was looking at her and if she hadn’t noticed his eyes shining with intelligence and wisdom she would have sworn he was a simpleton till he would start to speak. Odysseus was a man full of contradictions; darkness and light, quick wits and aloof thinking, braveness and fear…strength and weakness…

“Goddess…I…” he started, “In regards to the events of last night…forgive me I shouldn’t have broken down like this…”

Calypso congratulated herself deep inside for holding herself back.  She was right and indeed Odysseus could remember everything clearly from the night before. It would have ruined everything if she had advanced onto Odysseus while he was vulnerable.

“Why not?” Calypso asked airily. “I am glad you decided to open up with me. I am just sad you had to get drunk you let yourself go and trust me”

Odysseus winced at the reminder. Yeah, that was the last thing he needed to be reminded of… As if reading his thoughts, Calypso spoke again;

“Don’t worry too much, darling. I myself actually drank more than what I intended, last night,” the half-lie came easy to her lips, “You are a very pleasant company, Odysseus. One can forget himself when they are with you!”

“Me?” Odysseus asked in disbelief, “Hardly, goddess…hardly…”

He sighed, rubbing his nape nervously.

“I just...didn’t want to burden you with my troubles…”

“Odysseus…” Calypso said sincerely, “You are never a burden… I really want to help you… Not as a goddess, as a friend, I am glad you took some of that weight off your chest”

And then she took a bold step, more to herself than anything, and placed her hand on his. She felt him tense at the sudden contact while she felt his mortal flesh beneath her hand and she almost lost control of her emotions but her face was kept stone calm.

“Don’t you ever, ever apologize for your emotions, Odysseus,” she said sincerely, “It is what makes you mortals and us immortals similar…”

She felt him almost drawing his hand back or at least she felt his muscles signaling for him to do so, as he looked at her with those eyes that hid so much wisdom that indeed made her wonder what kind of mortal person has so much in their mind. She drew back and leaned on her couch again, casually.

“Oh, yes” she said, “Even us gods have feelings, Odysseus, our own torments. You may say that ours are sometimes more unbearable since we have to live with them for all eternity. We have no way of escaping them. One can see that from this very island too. This little paradise that is so left alone from the world…sometimes loneliness is so much to bear Odysseus…so much…”

Odysseus raised his brows. Suddenly the immortal nymph Calypso seemed almost…vulnerable. He saw her honey eyes reflect genuine pain and sorrow, sadness and isolation. He felt somehow stupefied for a second to react. How can someone consol a god?

“I…I understand, beautiful Calypso…” he whispered, “It is piercing the bones of any person to be isolated…”

“Yes, you do understand, don’t you?” Calypso eyed him, “You were a gift to me, Odysseus. It was the first time in hundreds of years that I felt someone actually connecting to this sorrow; the first time I felt someone truly understands loneliness as I do…”

Odysseus suddenly felt uncomfortable. He didn’t know where this conversation was heading to but it seemed like it was about to take a turn that he wouldn’t really wish it to. And apparently he was right for Calypso held his calloused hand in both of hers; caressing his fingers with her delicate, unnaturally smooth ones.

“Why don’t you stay here with me, Odysseus?” Calypso whispered

Her tone resembled a little girl talking to her first crush. It felt so unnatural to Odysseus that the goddess that nursed him back to health, the goddess that always kept a maternal visage now she was talking to him like he was an eternal god and she a young maiden trying to keep him with her.

“Stay…” Calypso repeated, “You understand how I feel and I understand you. You could live a happy life here; free from all the sorrows and this mortal coil. You wouldn’t need to worry about a thing here.”

As if that was not enough, Calypso raised a hand to touch his chin, making their eyes meet.

“I like you, Odysseus” she confessed naturally, “You interested me from the moment I saw you; your will to survive was unparalleled, however now I see how genuinely worthy you are.”

Odysseus felt his cheeks flush with color. It was rather flattering, he couldn’t lie, that this beautiful immortal being that could have any immortal god she wanted on her feet was now showing some interest in him in whatever way; him the man who was no longer young, who never considered himself the handsomest on earth in the first place, the man who was considered by many cunning, sly and without honor; now pique the interest of an immortal goddess. However…

“Your interest in me is beyond flattering, goddess…” he replied as he softly covered her hand still holding his with his own, discreetly drawing it away, “However I must refuse. I must go back…”

Calypso’s face again changed for one briefest second. It was as if someone had punched her in the gut. She slowly withdrew and sat back to her sofa.

“Go back…?” she echoed, “Why? What’s left for you out there, Odysseus? Poseidon wants your life and everyone you know might as well be thinking only of your harm. Mortal minds are so petty sometimes! Why would you want to go back to that world?”

“I have a kingdom I am responsible of” the king of Ithaca replied, “I have a family, friends that I have to return to.  I made a promise I would. I am a mortal too, goddess, I belong to that world”

“Friends!” Calypso said as if the word had no meaning, “Your friends were responsible for this adventure that almost cost your life!”

Reading the expression of shock to his face, Calypso elaborated.

“You do know, it was Eurylochus the one to persuade your men to eat the cows of Helios Hyperion, right? Not that the rest of your men had vastly different opinion, but it was him the one who betrayed you in the first place, the same way he betrayed you when he opened the sack of Aiolus!”

The Man of Many Torments felt his heart clench as all color left his face.

“What?” he croaked out

“Look in your cup” Calypso encouraged him, “and see the truth”

Odysseus looked down at the ceramic cup in his hand and gasped. Indeed the water surface of his cup had turned into a reflective mirror and now he could see as if he were there himself, the dreadful scene that preceded the slaughter of the sacred animals that led to his last ship to be gone forever and his men drown…

*

The men were tired; dark circles had formed under their eyes from sleeplessness and hunger and it had given them a rough look. They seemed like shadows of the men they used to be. Hunger, fatigue and sorrows had brought them on their knees. The sacred cows of Helios Hyperion were always grazing at the field next to the beach, filling their fat bellies with grass rich in salt and essential minerals. His hungry comrades were often looking at them, longer than it would be proper; way too long for comfort. Everyone was of course considering this source of nutrition ever since their rich provisions were gone. They were holding on the promise they had given to Odysseus and the fear for yet another god’s wrath but this time they were all at their limits. Eurylochus suddenly shot up from his sitting position on a rock.

“I’ve had enough of this!” he exclaimed suddenly

As all heads turned to face him at the same time.

“Hear me out, my friends, because I believe you shall agree with me that this cannot go on! We will starve to death if we wait here doing nothing! I don’t know about you, my friends but I refuse to die here of starvation!”

“Eurylochus!” Polites cried out, “What are you saying! You can’t be implying-…”

“All forms of death are terrible, Polites!” Eurylochus replied again, “We mortals are trained all our lives to fear death but death of hunger? Is there ever a worse form to die than that? We once conquered Troy and all its assets and we were praised by gods and humans and now we are in this godforsaken island and we die day by day on the beach like animals that lost their feeding grounds!”

“Eurylochus is right” Lycaon now spoke, “This can’t go on! And Odysseus is nowhere to be found!”

“He went to hunt” Polites replied again, “And pray for us!”

“Pray! Pray!” Eurylochus suddenly started screaming on top of his lungs, “He does nothing but pray! Have you seen any god favor us?! Have you seen anything good coming out of his prayers?! He calls himself pious and religious, he offers sacrifices! The problem started when the sacrifices became us!”

“Now now!” Alkimos now spoke, “That’s too much! Calm down!”

“Don’t you tell me to calm down Alkimos!” Eurylochus growled, “Odysseus will not do anything, once again! All he can do is pray and his prayers go on deaf ears! And that is all because of him! He only is killing us bit by bit!”

“Now listen you!” Polites had enough of this.

He was hungry too and starving but that was way too much.

“Don’t you dare to say that! Odysseus only tried to protect us all in various occasions! True he made many mistakes but-…”

He was stopped when Eurylochus grabbed upon his collar.

“YOU WEREN’T THERE, POLITES!” Eurylochus bellowed and his eyes already shining with primitive hunger were now beyond any form of madness one could express, “You weren’t there! That monster smashing the heads of our comrades! All we could do was watch as he indulged himself in their flesh! We were in that cave because of Odysseus in the first place! We could survive with the wild goats of the island! He just wanted something better! He always does! And WE pay the price! Never him! Never!”

“Now, now everyone calm down!” Amphidamas came between them to separate them, “If we kill each other now, the conversation will have no meaning in the first place!”

Eurylochus was forced to step back but he continued.

“I refuse to die here of hunger! My friends, let us satiate our hunger with these cows. We shall offer a sacrifice to the god Helios here and if we make it to Ithaca then we can build him a great temple, with our own hands. We can make a solemn oath here for that.”

“And if we don’t?” Polites glared at him

“If we don’t…well in that case I prefer to die from a wave and drown rather than die here like a beast from hunger!”

*

Odysseus watched the scene as if he were there.  He watched his comrades grabbing the cows, slaughtering them and offering their sacrifice. But they had no wine left so they used water to rinse the parts of the animals. They had no barley to use and they plucked the leaves of an oak… He watched them set their feast which was not even proper sacrifice to begin with and he knew very well what followed. He was there after that. He could see no more as his eyes filled with tears once more. Suddenly his hangover was forgotten. The pain in his heart was greater. The ceramic fell from his hands and shattered to the floor. Odysseus grabbed his head with both hands, leaning forward in lament.

“Oh, Eurylochus!” he whispered between his sobbing, “I know, my friend, I know I made mistakes…I know I wasn’t perfect but I didn’t deserve this! I didn’t-…deserve…”

His nails nearly broke the flesh of his face as he cried. Yes, there was no point keeping his mask of carefree man anymore. Calypso had already exposed the pain in his soul. He might as well indulge into it again! His men had suffered and died and he was left alone to fight the elements and the storms holding upon the remains of his ship with little to no hope left; alone in fear and in pain, in hunger and in thirst to the brief of death and madness… He felt the injustice in his flesh; he had sacrificed so much! He was always there when they needed him; he went to face gods, creatures, even descended to the Underworld for them and faced the horrors that expect the dead in the afterlife while he was still living himself. He had sold himself to a goddess hoping to get freedom for his men; he had stayed up 9 days to protect the sack of Aiolus to make sure it wouldn’t be opened and that they could get back home… He had been ready to face Skylla and Charybdis for them… Their accusations seemed so unjust in his ears and yet…the other part of himself admitted they were right; nothing would have happened if he hadn’t let his anger speak and brag on Polyphemus…no, nothing would have happened if they never entered his cave in the first place… Perhaps nothing would have happened if he never had that scheme to take Troy! Or what if he was never there! Oh, cursed Troy! Cursed war! But then again, Odysseus felt like he had himself to blame again for what happened…

“Cursed oath!” he thought in despair, “Why did I have to do that! Why did I have to suggest to the old man Tyndareus that we would all defend Helen? If it weren’t for that I would be in Ithaca! Raising my son and embracing my wife! My men would be alive in their houses and villages! Cursed oath! Damn the moment I invented it! Damned the moment I was born!”

He broke down. No, this was too much to bear! He wanted to save them and ended up losing them all! And he had suffered himself. He nearly lost his life… No, it shouldn’t be all his fault now should it? He had specifically told them not to open the sack…he had told them not to eat the animals belonging to a god… He had warned them! He couldn’t be the one to blame for those, right? He knew his comrades made their own mistakes but he could also understand them. They have been through much more than what any mortal was supposed to endure… But that type of mutiny? Why? Why so much hate…? He remembered though how much Eurylochus was affected during their trip. In particular the adventure of Skylla had left them all with scars…

*

The area was quiet; WAY too quiet for anyone’s liking! The men had watched nervously as Odysseus had stood to the fore-deck fully geared up in his armor and holding two spears. Why on earth would he want to be armed? Odysseus seemed ready to collapse in their eyes. He was constantly gazing to the rocks around as if he expected some unknown attack from the sky! As they entered a narrow path, Odysseus seemed to be very weary. As they passed from below a cave at a high mountain, from the other side a terrifying rumble drew their attention and a whirlpool was formed, sucking in the sea water. The men cried out in fear and despair and yet they could not take their eyes off that dreadful sight! And when he had hoped that would be the end of it, the cry was heard over the rumble.

“A baby?” one of the men asked

Odysseus winced. No, no…he thought. His hands clenched upon his arms. Suddenly he remembered Circe’s advice that he had forgotten; there was no point at him being armed; Skylla was immortal. He could do nothing to her even if he wanted. He could only pray that she wouldn’t wake up for her daily meal while they crossed but now that baby cry just shattered all his hopes and prayers. It was too late. He could only steer the ship close to Skylla’s side to avoid Charybdis and now…Skylla had decided it was her time to eat…

“Odysseus!” Polites called out as his face was pale and wet from sweat; one eye to the whirlpool and the other to Odysseus, “Odysseus, there is a baby up at the grotto!”

A baby up… For a moment Odysseus felt like it was Astyanax who was crying from the underworld…Astyanax had come to claim something of him as punishment for he took Troy leading to his death…

“Odysseus!” Polites urged again

Odysseus looked up at the cave and his eyes were liquid. He looked at Polites and his face could be the same as a wounded animal, facing the hound that was about to take his life; pleading for one last time… He was almost shaking.

“Forgive me, Polites…” he whispered, “GET DOWN!”

And he dropped to the deck, taking Polites with him and leading a few men do the same in panic (of those who weren’t still hypnotized by the terrible whirlpool at the other side). Everything happened too fast; Six necks longer than their entire ship probably twice as much, bearing terrible heads; a mixture between a woman’s head and a dragon with mouths open with sharp teeth. The heads rushed to the deck like deadly snakes and they grasped one man each who screeched in pain, drawing the attention of everyone on deck. They watched in horror.

“CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN!” the men who could still speak screamed, “ODYSSEUS!”

Odysseus was unable to take his eyes off this sight which was so similar to the cave of Polyphemus but this time seemed harder to grasp. At the beginning of the grotto Skylla began her feast by cutting off flesh and guts off the bodies of his men who were still alive and screaming from their adrenaline rush; nothing like when Polyphemus had smashed them to the ground, making sure they were dead first. Skylla had no such problem as her six heads were tearing apart what was left of his 6 best men on the ship. The men were wailing and screaming, calling his name. His men pale in horror; one or two of them doubled over and threw up on the deck. Odysseus nearly did both himself. The seconds passed like eons as the screaming finally silenced and the ship drew away from that terrible passage. They could still hear the moaning of Charybdis as she was throwing up the seawater again…

There was silence afterwards… His men hardly dared to breathe…not even the oars could be heard anymore as the ship was probably moving by the stream at that point as no one had the courage to move. Odysseus was frozen there like a statue… He didn’t even have the strength to drop on his knees. Forgive me, he thought, forgive me I had no choice… Polites was probably the first to come out of the trance as he croaked out in a barely audible voice;

“What…what the hell was that…?”he was as pale as a cloud, “Odysseus…? What the hell was that…?”

Odysseus turned his head to him, trying to find the words to answer but Eurylochus pounced at him like a furious tiger ready to eat his throat.

“YOU BASTARD!” he bellowed beyond himself, grabbing him by the front part of his armor, “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT THING?! YOU STOOD THERE DOING NOTHING! WE ALL DID! SPEAK UP!”

His head turned to the side. He couldn’t face him.

“I HEARD YOU SPEAK UP! IT WAS AS IF YOU KNEW WHAT WAS COMING! SPEAK UP ‘KING OF ITHACA’ AND ‘EQUAL TO GODS’! WHAT WAS THAT!?”

“That was Skylla…” Odysseus whispered, “…Daughter of Echidna and Typhoon… A creature that pries on dolphins and seals when she can…and waits for ships to pass her grotto…”

Eurylochus was hyperventilating; his face was red in fury.

“You knew!? YOU KNEW ALL ALONG AND SAID NOTHING!? YOU KEPT YOUR MOUTH SHUT WHEN-…”

“If I had picked Charybdis we would have died all!” Odysseus yelled back, “I had no choice I had to do this! There was no other way!”

“You kept your mouth shut! YOU SAID NOTHING AND LET OUR COMRADES BE SACRIFICED! YOU DIDN’T SAY A THING! WE HAD TO KNOW!”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?!” now Odysseus bellowed, higher than anything Eurylochus did before

His men all silenced before his woeful and furious cry.

“What do you want me to say! That I hoped this monster would never come out? That I wanted us all to suffer as little as possible…that I could find no proper words to explain what was in store for them…that I hope I was them…?”

He was heroically holding his tears back. He was feeling his body turning into stone again under the layers of his armor that had been useless in this adventure.

If I show weakness I am lost…

“…That I am sorry…?”

If I show weakness I am lost…

Eurylochus had his eyes ticking in rage and fear. Odysseus could see the panic settling in him more and more like the waves at the sea. He was shivering all over.

“Sorry…?” he echoed, “You are sorry…?”

The way he grabbed him later, made others even wake up from their shocked state and arrive to their assistance to see which of the two would be hurt next!

“YOU ARE SORRY!?” Eurylochus bellowed, “IT COULD HAVE BEEN ANY OF US, ODYSSEUS! IT COULD HAVE BEEN-…”

He froze again as if the terrible realization hit him. He seemed ready to throw up himself. He let go of Odysseus and stepped back. Suddenly he was vulnerable and frightened.

“Oh my gods…” he mumbled, “We’re not going to survive this, are we? We are all gonna die in this journey! We’re all doomed!”

“No! No!” Odysseus shook his head, “No, this can’t end like this! We shall make it! We must make it! If we follow the instructions Circe gave us, we can make it. Trust me…”

Apparently that word was the worst he could use because Eurylchus gained his fighting spirit back and he was held by another comrade so he wouldn’t rush on him again.

“Trust you?! TRUST YOU, you say?! Six of our comrades are dead! And you said nothing! How can we trust you Odysseus!? HUH?!”

Odysseus lowered his eyes. He fixed the helmet on his head, as if he wanted to hide his gaze from them; from all the judgmental eyes and ears around him.

If I show weakness I am lost…

“I did what I thought it was right…” he said in a cold tone, “If I had chosen Charybdis we would all be dead now…”

He turned to leave but Eurylochus was not done releasing the anger inside him.

“Who else is to be sacrificed next then, Odysseus? Huh? Tell me, King of Ithaca, who is to be sacrificed next?”

If I show weakness I am lost…

“I did it to save us all!” Odysseus whispered dangerously, stepping closer to him, “I did it to save this vessel! Our last ship! Our last hope! If we lose it, we’re lost! I did what I had to do! We can survive this! But we must stick together!”

If I show weakness I am lost…

“If you cannot trust me, then obey me!”

If I show weakness I am lost…

“If I everything I ever done is not enough for you to have faith in me then you must remember that I am still your king!”

If I show weakness I am lost…

“For as long as we have this vessel, I am still your captain! And we still have a chance!”

If I show weakness…

*

Odysseus moaned lowering his head almost between his knees as he remembered what had befallen between them. No wonder that it was Eurylochus the one to initiate that mutiny! However it still hurt every thread of his heart. It still led to the outmost destruction! He had roamed 10 days aimlessly in absolute terror in the elements with no hope; nearly losing his mind in the process…and his very life!

“Our last vessel…our last hope…” he whispered, “…It’s gone…gone! We… Gone… All of our hope was gone…! Why, Eurylochus! Why! Why!”

Calypso walked around his bench. She was as alluring as she seemed dangerous…like the sea that enclosed him. Her touch on his shoulder as she circled him, made him feel fear for the very first time he was with her. It was as if some cloud was lifted from his mind; a cloud he had no idea it existed.

“My poor, tormented darling…” Calypso whispered again, “These men rebelled against you…they disobeyed your orders and ignored your suggestions… Surely you are not the one to blame for their carelessness and arrogance….”

Her hands cupped his cheeks and made him look at her. She had kneeled before him and she wiped tears with her thumbs; tears he had no idea he had shed…

“You nearly lost your life out there, darling… Why must you torment yourself over them? Why must your heart always mourn? Forget about this…mortal coil. Stay here with me…stay and rest, finally, Odysseus… You shall not want of anything here… I could offer you the gift of immortality… Never shall you fear sickness or death again! Never shall you find yourself in the same pitiful state that you were when you first showed up at my doors! You shall be my equal! All you need to do is ask…”

Immortal! The word rang to Odysseus’s brain like a bell; immortality was the dream of every human being! And if immortality was linked, as she said, to no more of this heartache and torment… Oh, how desirable that was! And yet his mind rebelled to this. He remembered the Underworld; that dreadful place of wandering souls…he remembered Achilles who had told him he’d rather a thousand times be the last servant and alive than a god-king and dead… Why was his mind rebelling this when every mortal instinct he had was telling him to accept that? He held her wrists and softly removed them from his cheeks.

“Goddess…I immensely thank you for your proposal…there is indeed nothing sweeter echoing in the ears of a helpless mortal than immortality free of sorrows but… I cannot accept this… I must go back…”

Calypso seemed like she had been slapped as she looked at him.

“But…why!” she finally asked, “Why would you choose that? When you have been tormented so much and hurt so badly?”

“I must return to Ithaca!” Odysseus insisted, “My wife…my son are waiting for me there… And if I give up everything now, all we have been through with my companions will be in vain! I cannot just abandon them….”

Calypso stood up. Suddenly her face resembled indeed a statue; perfect and yet cold and emotionless.

“And are you sure, Odysseus, that your wife remained faithful to you? Are you sure she hasn’t betrayed you too?”

Odysseus moaned helplessly. That thought stabbed into his brain like a sword. For some reason Agamemnon’s words came to his mind that one can never trust their spouse, for he had been murdered by Clytemnystra and her lover. He shook his head. No, not Penelope! Penelope would never!

“No!” he exclaimed, “Not, Penelope! We chose each other! There is a special bond between us!”

“And yet, how do you know?” Calypso pressed, “You have been married almost two decades and yet you lived but a couple of years together. How can you know that your sweet Penelope holds your marriage the same as you do?”

“She does! I know she does! She promised she would wait! She promised me!”

“Darling! Listen to yourself! You have been away from home more than 12 years!” she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, resting her beautiful head over his, “At best possible scenario she honored your marriage till they finally denounced you dead. Who can leave a throne vacant for so long?”

“No…” Odysseus whispered in denial, “No…no!”

“Just face the truth, my darling…you cannot deny it that over a decade people die… Your sweet Penelope might as well have found a new husband to rule your kingdom. No one can wait so long, my darling…” she whispered in his ear, “Not even you…”

Odysseus shivered. Her hot breath in his ear ringed weirdly in his soul. A natural feeling of repulse mixed with the sweet allure of her voice made him release himself from her embrace and stand up.

“I would! I would wait! I did! I still do!”

“And you are absolutely certain she would do the same? How can you be so sure that your sweet Penelope hasn’t found someone else to warm that empty wedding bed of hers?”

His bed? That bed he carved with his own two hands would be taken by someone else? That thought terrified him. No, he didn’t even want to think about it!

“Please goddess, stop! Say no more, I employ you!”

Suddenly he felt the need to defend himself against her accusations even if he had no real logical argument to repel them. It was as if his heart knew what his brain was repelling. His mother in the Underworld had told him that Penelope was enduring still and he held onto that for dear life. But, the other part of his brain was asking, how long has his mother been dead? If she met her end years ago then what guarantee did he have that Penelope hadn’t really remarried? He had none and he knew it, but he still wouldn’t want to accept such a scenario!

“But what if I am right?” Calypso insisted, “What if you are right and she endured but eventually she had to bend? What if your sweet Penelope has found a new husband?”

“Then…” the king of Ithaca whispered, “…that is one more reason for me to go back! To claim what is mine; my land, my kingdom, my palace…and my wife!”

Calypso frowned and lowered her head. She was astonished by his seer stubbornness and his refusal of seeing what he was truly refusing! She felt anger rising inside her. She adored him and she desired him. She had tried everything the past weeks to make him see it but apparently his mind was captured by his wife for an eternity and regardless of whether she managed to read his heart or not, Odysseus was once more distanced from her… She felt an anger she never felt before in her long life; was this the emotion humans named “envy”? Was she envious of a mere mortal woman? A woman that would eventually grow old and die? No, she refused to accept such weakness! And she wouldn’t lose to a mortal woman to the fight for the heart of this man she had come to adore to her bones!

*

Calypso was working her loom. She could feel the enchantment had faded; the sweet lithe that wanted to give to Odysseus so his pain would heal and he wouldn’t need to think so much of the things he would leave behind, had started to fade. It was as if, indeed, Odysseus’s mental and emotional strength were enough to make him indeed Equal to Gods… She banged her fist on the wood frustrated. She had seen his heart, she had saved his life, she had helped him and yet she still was so far away from him and all this time Odysseus had been resisting her incantation by seer will and emotion without even knowing it! No, she couldn’t let him leave, not before her questions were answered! What made him tick so much? What made his will to survive so strong that he managed to come out alive out of the greatest of hardships? Why was she so helplessly trapped in his charms when he was just a mortal man with no intention to seduce her in the first place? She sighed. She didn’t need to look behind her shoulder to realize it was Odysseus standing behind her.

“Calypso…” he whispered, “Great goddess of Ogygia…please…give me a vessel…give me a small ship to go back to my country… You nursed me back to health, you gave me valid answers to some of my questions… I can no longer stay here… Please, beautiful nymph I employ you…give me a ship to govern”

“There are no ships in Ogygia, Odysseus!” Calypso replied almost coldly, “No one ever comes or goes from here… Ships do not cross this sea…so full of danger”

“Then…please give me the tools to make one” Odysseus insisted, “Please, I have to go back, do you understand? I have been away from my wife and son so long! I want to embrace my precious Telemachus again! Tell him how sorry I am for missing all his life! Please be merciful, powerful nymph…please let me go…”

Calypso sighed. Her fist clenched.

“Fine…if that’s what you want to do…” she stood up to her full height and turned around

She was a tall woman; as tall as he was in total. Perhaps even a few centimeters taller. Her look was magnificent under the pale light of dusk. And yet her honey eyes shone in a dangerous way that Odysseus never saw before.

“But first, before you leave, I need something from you, Odysseus”

“Anything, goddess!” Odysseus replied almost immediately, “As long as it is within my power to give it to you”

“The gifts of Xenia, I gave you…” Calypso immediately replied; her eyes resembled now a predatory bird that had caught a mouse in her claws, “I took you in my house, I gave you my bed to sleep, I gave you my wine and bread to satiate your hunger and quench your thirst and clothes to wear. I believe you owe me some gifts of Xenia back.”

Odysseus’s heart sank in his chest.

“Goddess…” he began, “I have nothing to give you! I lost everything. If I had my vessel I would have given you all the treasures I got from Troy and every land I encountered in-between! I would give you the best wine and fabrics, jewelry and pearls from all ends of the world! The price would be too little for the good you did to me! But, alas, I have nothing. I am a ruined shipwrecked man! I have nothing to give you, to repay your hospitality!”

“Ah, Odysseus, Odysseus… There is something you can give me, something much more important than those soulless things. Wine…jewelry? Why would I need any of those? I already have plenty. However there is something you can give me, Odysseus, that nothing of those can buy…”

Odysseus eyed her curiously.

“What?” he genuinely asked, “What is it that I have that is so precious to you, good goddess?”

Calypso slowly walked to him. And then Odysseus froze because what she did next was something that totally took him aback. Her hand softly touched his cheek and then her lips landed upon his. Odysseus felt his eyes widen like a rabbit before the sight of a fox. No…no it couldn’t be! Calypso pulled back smiling seductively.

“Entertain me, Odysseus!” she whispered, “Give me what your wife enjoyed for a little while… Show me how mortals make love!”

Pale as a sheet, Odysseus took plenty of steps back.

“No…!” he whispered, “No, no! Please, I beg of you goddess!  I-I can’t give you what you ask!”

“Why not?” Calypso pressured, “You gave this to the divine daughter of Helios.”

Circe’s name came back to haunt him. Yes, Odysseus had shared a bed with Circe but then it was different! Hermes had told him not to refuse her and he had his men to protect. Right now he was alone. He had no one else to protect but his own skin and right now his decision would mean so much more than just an exchange and somehow he knew it!

“Please, spare me, good goddess!” Odysseus begged, “Ask for anything else, but not that, not that please!”

Penelope…Telemachus…

“It seems like offending gods has become a second nature to you, Odysseus!” Calypso retorted, “You make it sound like the worst thing that can happen to you is to bed me!”

Odysseus turned pale in terror. No, he definitely did not mean to offend her and yet what she asked of him…

“I’ll…I’ll do anything else, goddess. I shall delay my departure to make you a magnificent palace with my own hands if you wish…”

“Why would I need such thing, Odysseus? As you see I am missing nothing in my godly grotto. Why would I need a palace in my isle?”

“I…I shall build you a temple in Ithaca once I arrive!” Odysseus desperately tried again, “I shall make you the greatest goddess of all the Cephallinians, but please spare me!”

Calypso let out a light chuckle.

“The gifts of Xenia are not something given after 10 years, Odysseus!” she said as a matter of fact, “Not to mention that there is no guarantee that you will even make it back to your little island. The way Poseidon wishes your demise, I highly doubt you will make it beyond my bay! Nay, Odysseus. Besides why would I need worship? I live content on my island like that. I’d rather get what I wished for”

“Spare me!” Odysseus cried out, “Spare me, goddess, please! I’ll fall on my knees for you, beggar at your feet, but please don’t make me do this!”

He would have indeed dropped on his knees to hug hers, to make sure that she would not push him any further but she stopped him. She had come to know him.

“Please, Odysseus, no more, otherwise it will be much harder for me to keep refusing you!”

“Please, show mercy!”

“I have stated what I want from you and that’s it” Calypso replied relentless, “Are you going to trample the laws of Xenia as well? Wasn’t the taking of Troy enough when you fought at night using trickery? Wasn’t offending one god enough? Do you now wish to trample this sacred law dictated by Zeus as well?”

Odysseus froze in place; the law of Xenia…the law that he lived on all his life with. The law that he honored above all was now brought before him. He knew he had nothing to give her and he knew he could not offend her any further. He grabbed his head in desperation.

“If I want to see my wife and child…I have to appease her… Oh, Penelope! Forgive me! I am just a man; a weak, mortal man! I cannot fight with gods! I am tired! I can’t do this anymore!” he thought in despair, “My honor…trampled so many times! Gods, mercy! No more! Please no more!”

He knew everything had a price; he had learnt that the hard way! However seeing also Calypso; the kind nymph that took him in without asking anything before; the person he thought might be the exception, now bringing such a horrendous price for him to pay stroke him harder than anything. Suddenly his heart ached and then he felt like it broke. They are all the same, he thought, all gods and humans are the same! They all require a price and they ignore the distressful pleading!

*

Calypso’s chambers were dimly lit in moonlight only one or two torches lit the room. Calypso was casually leaning in her bed, observing him with an unreadable look; it was a mixture of lust, amusement, curiosity and wonder… Odysseus was shaking as he turned to the low table. He poured a cup of wine for himself and he downed it. Then he took another one. He breathed heavily. Gods let me go numb tonight…he thought, let me not feel this that I am about to do…. He could feel her eyes burning holes to the back of his nape, as if she was gaining strength from his distress. As if it as amusing to her. He turned around to see the nymph; so beautiful and so terrible, staring at him.

“Take off your clothes and join me, Odysseus…” she whispered seductively

Odysseus mechanically breathed in and out and then slowly opened his chiton, revealing his wide chest. He wished his mind wasn’t so frozen and yet so aware. For the first time in his life he wished to faint here and there; black out so he will not be conscious when it happens! Calypso shot up from the bed and grabbed the cloth, tearing it apart with one single move. Odysseus winced before her strength but even more he winced when her hands touched his chest, burning his flesh like fire as she felt the curly hair that adorned it. She felt every detail, every muscle, every scar… She shivered in delight finally feeling his flesh beneath her fingertips and the reactions that came with it… She felt every tremor, every jerk that strong mortal body was emitting! She sealed his lips with hers. Odysseus had kept his mouth as tightly closed as possible. Her lips burnt like coals…his soul hurt like being torn apart! Calypso softly pulled back and whispered against his lips;

“Like you mean it, Odysseus…like you mean it!”

Odysseus nearly broke down in tears as her lips sealed his again. He tried really hard to respond, feeling a jerk to his hair by her strong hand.

“I am Odysseus of Ithaca! Father to sweet Telemachus…son of Laërtes…There is nothing I can’t endure!”

The strokes came even lower. Odysseus prayed with all the power of his soul that his body wouldn’t react; that she would lose interest in him…however, as always, the gods were relentless. He felt his body responding to her caresses and her forcible seduction. He held back himself; no he wouldn’t moan! Be it pleasure or pain; he wouldn’t react! He wouldn’t give off the storm inside him!

“I am the Man of Many Turns…Goodly Odysseus! I am the Sacker of Cities! I am the spawn of Hermes…grandson of Autolycus! I shall not…I cannot be broken…!”

The touch nearly drove him insane in rage and confusion! He sighed as he nearly felt himself losing his footing.

“Endure my heart…please endure…! You have endured worse…!”

She led him on her bed…to which he was forced to lay and she threw her dress off her body revealing herself to him as pretty as she was terrible. As she climbed over him Odysseus wanted to shut his eyes closed, to hide those small tears that escaped his eyes and got lost in his curly hair.

“Oh, Athena! Oh, Pallas! Why! Why! Why! Please guide me to take this bitter cup upon my lips! Why are you silent, Athena? Why did you abandon me?”

As more kisses cascaded his body and he felt those arms almost pinning him on the bed, Odysseus remembered Circe… She had led him to her bed thinking she had his consent… Calypso knew she didn’t. She knew he couldn’t escape and yet it was as if she wanted to make sure! As she slowly raised herself to a position that was comfortable, Odysseus felt his heart break. The sudden rush made him almost lose his breath. He threw his head back in a silent scream. He wanted to close his eyes and yet he couldn’t avoid the terrible sight; he saw that face that was always calm and collected; maternal even now distorted in a mask of forceful bliss and a cascade of sighs and hums. That body that supported him before and helped him move about in the cave when he was weak was now moving over him making a series of sensations rush through his veins…those hands that so gently and so strongly supported him were now pinning him down; her left hand resting somewhere behind her back, close to the scar that adorned his leg and the other pressing upon his laryngeal prominence. He clenched his jaw till it hurt so he wouldn’t groan in distress; his body reacting to her treatment was much more terrifying even than the sight of hers on top of him.

“No more…please gods no more…”

And then it was over! He nearly fell back to the pillows breathing heavily like wounded. Calypso was breathing as well; only in delight. She didn’t seem half as tired as he was…

“On my word, Odysseus!” she panted softly, “You really ARE ‘Equal to gods’!”

He felt nauseous! He wanted to scream. He remained on the same position…not daring to look at her anymore as she kissed his cheek tenderly, hands tracing his body. Only one tear escaped his eye.

“Why…? WHY!”

*

Calypso was humming softly as she was arranging her hair. She had thrown a robe around her naked body, looking at her reflection at the bronze spectrum. Odysseus almost staggered in the room. He had thrown a new chiton over himself but he still felt the shame around him. He was breathing irregularly in rage and sadness.

“Now…” he panted, “Give me a vessel, goddess! Let me go home as you promised…!”

“Promise?” Calypso asked almost innocently, “I don’t recall promising such thing!”

Odysseus felt like someone had stabbed him in the heart.

“What?!” he croaked out, “But you said…”

“I said that you need to entertain me, Odysseus, to return me my gifts of Xenia but I did not promise I would immediately give you the means to make a vessel. And besides did you honestly think that one night is enough to buy your life’s worth?”

“I am ruined!” Odysseus cried out, “I am ashamed! I will probably never be able to face my wife and son again! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!” he finally yelled beyond his wits.

Calypso looked at him sincerely.

“I want you to love me, Odysseus!”

She stood up, taking advantage of his sudden shock.

“At first I was curious…I was not sure how mortals make love; this desperation that is linked to your temporary nature… Does it feel better for you that you know you are doomed? To us is just another pass time sometimes but to mortals it means so much more… But…”

She actually almost blushed! Odysseus though felt disgust and hatred.

“…But now, I am not sure if I can let you go! After feeling you…I just confirmed what I knew. You cured my loneliness…you filled an empty spot I never knew I had in my heart! I love you, Odysseus! And I want you to love me like I do…”

“Love?” Odysseus chocked in the word, “You call this love?!”

This was the only way the immortals knew to show love? Tormenting the mortals?

“I know I can win your heart, my love…” Calypso ignored him, “I know I can help you live here…with me…how to make you mine…and I shall be yours as your wife!”

“You will NEVER be my wife!”

“Oh but you are wrong, my dear. We united before gods and witnesses! You are my husband now, by the laws of gods!”

“Never! I have a wife! She waits for me! You are not my wife and you shall never be! I want to leave! You can’t hold me here!”

“You stayed one year with the witch Circe! Why acting so pious all of the sudden?”

For one moment the king of Ithaca saw only red. His hand grabbed her throat before he would realize it. Calypso was shocked only for one second but then a smirk crept to her lips.

“Like you mean it, Odysseus…” she whispered in a mocking manner, “…Like you mean it!”

Odysseus was shivering in anger. Oh, how easy it seemed if he could snap that neck that seemed so delicate! And yet he knew the truth; those bones beneath were not mortal bones and he would never manage to do anything to them and even if he did, she wouldn’t die…no, she wouldn’t die…! He let go of her running out of the room.

“You will never leave this place, you know…” Calypso’s casual voice stopped him in his tracks, “This island from the land till the currents around the sea respond to my will. Every single breeze and wave shall bring you back….”

Odysseus did not want to believe this! He ran out of the grotto. At the beach he knew he had no vessel but at that moment roaming the sea like he had come to this island didn’t seem as terrible as the fate that awaited him here. He threw a log in the water and tried to paddle away on it but, indeed the waves pushed him back on shore. He tried again with no avail. He desperately jumped into the sea to swim with all his might but the result was the same. Exhausted and exasperated Odysseus was once more pushed to the shores of Ogygia.

“No!” Odysseus yelled as he paced up and down like a wounded tiger in the cage.

In his anger he roared and threw a rock to the waves but that’s all he could do. He gave up. He sat down the sand, drawing his knees to his chest and remained silent under the stars…  In what seemed like eons, he heard Calypso’s light footsteps upon the sand and the pebbles.

“Odysseus…” she called for him, “Come inside, it is getting late”

“No thank you!” he replied in a low dangerous voice

“You shall need to eat something, my love, come back inside.”

“Your price is too high to pay!”

“Come inside, Odysseus” she repeated, “I will order for your meal to be prepared.”

“I’d rather die of hunger and cold!”

Calypso sighed. It was the type of sigh a disappointed mother would give to a child.

“As you wish” she said, “But remember you should know better not to cross with me that much, my darling. I love your spirit, I really do, however you should know better that I shall not ask twice…”

Odysseus turned to look at the waves so she wouldn’t see his jaw shiver…so she wouldn’t see the fear in his eyes. Yes, he knew. Achilles was just a mortal man and yet all he needed to do was to plead his goddess mother to bring misfortune upon all Achaeans…  He didn’t even dare to imagine what this immortal could do if she wanted. What if she ordered immortal nymphs of the oceans to drown his beautiful little kingdom? What stopped her from doing this…? Finally he heard her footsteps as she walked away. Odysseus was left alone…

*

As he was sitting there…his tears began to flow in the middle of the cold night. He buried his face in his folded arms.

“Gods! Is this, then, my fate…? Being the lapdog of a goddess every time she pleases? Shall this be the fate of Odysseus of Ithaca? Alas! Why! Why gods! I only made one mistake! I only…why! Why! Haven’t I graced you all with sacrifices and worship? Why did you abandon me? Over one mistake…?”

The smell of cooked meat came to his nostrils. His stomach growled in hunger. Once more he lamented himself and his mortal nature. He was hungry and Calypso knew that and she was using it to torment him. He clenched his head with his hands.

“Oh, alas! Is that what my men had to suffer out there…? Is this why their mortal bodies could take no more?”

He wondered why, how could he forget his lament over their loss for so long!

“That cursed witch and her spells!” he lamented, “Taking away this sorrow…putting my conscious to sleep!”

He remembered his promise…

“I have to survive…If I die here who is going to remember them? Who is going to know they were here? Who is going to tell their story? I am the only one left! I am the only one who can remember them…”

He heard the waves…his heart felt cold and heavy like the stones residing in the ocean. I don’t even have a tomb for them…he thought, I can’t even build them a funeral pyre… He felt his curly hair with his hand. His long hair was the crown on his head; thick and long; they had tangled a lot from the wind and the salt water while he traveled, almost forming natural locks. Ever since he arrived to Calypso’s isle it was always neatly combed and washed. His hand searched the beach and caught a sharp stone. He held his hair with one hand and then with the stone, slowly and methodically he cut it short as his nape… He held that hair in his hand before throwing it in the sea…the last funerary tribute that he could give them. He would survive. He would survive even if he meant to do anything for it! He would try to reach Ithaca! He would continue their legacy!

*

Calypso was sitting by the fire as her maids stirred the stew in the cauldron. She looked up and smiled. Odysseus was standing there. His face was like stone; his eyes bottomless and liquid. His hair that used to be thick and long now it was cut. His eyes were stained and burnt from tears. Calypso though smiled. She had confidence in herself that her spouse would learn to love her. It was only a matter of time and she had all the time in the world.

“Odysseus!” she whispered, “I am so glad you decided to come…”

She extended her richly adorned hand towards him. That hand that had given him life now it seemed ready to severe it.

“Come…” she urged softly, “Come to sit by the fire to get warm…we have dinner almost ready…”

One last tear ran down his cheek. Yes, he would survive no matter the cost; even if that would be his sanity and honor! The gods were silent to his prayers. He was alone. He had to survive alone…

He spoke no words anymore…

He walked in the grotto…

~~~

Oh my gosh! What have I done indeed! TT_TT but yeah...I do not fully regret! I believe this wll be the 3rd and final part of Sirvor's Guilt/Duty and I hope you enjoyed the wild ride!

Calypso weaving was inspired by this amazing soundtrack from "The Perfume"

Calypso showing Odysseus the events that occured before he arrived was inspired by the Odyssey since Odysseus mentions in his narrative how he was filled in the details by Calypso

I just HAD to include the Skylla moment because it was one of the most brutal description in the Odyssey so one can see how much Odysseus was traumatized!

Now as for how Calypso knows the details well...gods are often depicted to know things even if they aren't there (even if at other times they don't!)

And my extra explanation as to why Odysseus could not go anywhere.

The After Note was inspired by the clip from nbc Dracula (particulary the expression of poor Odysseus so read at your own accord! xd)

~~~~~~~~~

(After note)

The night was silent as always on Ogygia. The silence could strangle you. Odysseus slowly lifted himself from the narrow bed. His expression was unreadable. It was as if the pain and sorrow had left a permanent dark scar to his face that would never allow anyone to see him smile again. His hair was tangled and his beard untidy almost just like the bed that seemed even messier. He looked to the side and his eyes darkened even further, if that would even be possible, as he gazed upon Calypso’s body. She was sleeping on her stomach, with her head towards the other direction, one of her beautiful legs drawn slightly towards her. Her dark hair adorned with gold, seashells and pearls were flowing all around her like second layer of jewels and yet to Odysseus they seemed like deadly tentacles; like the heads of the dreadful Skylla that consumed his comrades when it seemed like an eternity prior. Her soft breathing was barely heard and yet to Odysseus it was echoing in his brain driving him mad. He was choking. He needed fresh air! He slowly got out of the bed, feeling the light pain down his back. He walked out of the room, feeling the cold stone of the grotto under his bare feet. He didn’t care at all that he was absolutely naked at that moment; he didn’t bother to cover himself even if there was a possibility one of the nymphs of Calypso to be around. Odysseus felt there was no sense of shame in him anymore. He ignored the nudity of his body as well as a few small scratches and bruises upon it that were accidentally caused by some miscalculation on Calypso’s strength during some of their endless nights of her passion and intercourse. Calypso had apologized of course. But then again Odysseus had stopped caring. He had tried resisting her before but with no avail, as she was much stronger than what he was. He had even tried begging her; one night! Spare me at least one night! However long now, Odysseus had stopped caring. There was no fight in him anymore.

It had been two years already, the king of Ithaca had calculated; two years of torture and despair. His hair that he had cut as a tribute to his dead men had already started to grow longer. If it were in his hands he wouldn’t even bother to brush it anymore. He didn’t feel much like grooming himself or taking care of himself. He didn’t seem to see the point in it anymore and, besides, there more unattractive he appeared in her eyes, the better. If it weren’t for the nymphs who prepared him regularly for these nightly torments of his then Odysseus probably would have stopped doing anything. The longing for return was eating his guts like a worm eating the flesh of a rotten apple; he could almost feel it through his gut! However the hope for his return was getting slimmer and slimmer. And it wasn’t just his bitter nostos that was eating him up. It was also haste and doubt. Calypso had planted that seed of doubt before and now she kept watering it with every night of abuse that Odysseus had to suffer. He was closing in that island as long as he took to travel there. Ten years he was away to Troy, three years he was traveling, losing his men one by one and now two years of imprisonment. He was away from home 15 years. What if Calypso for once was right? What if Penelope out of seer coercion decided that he was long dead and had to marry again? What would happen to him then if that last piece of him was uprooted from him? Or, much worse, what would happen if… No, Odysseus thought, that scenario he didn’t want to accept! Not Penelope…Penelope was different! She would never cheat on his memory, right? She had promised to him she would wait for his return…

“And how long is she supposed to wait for you?” there was a voice in the back of his head, “You left her wait 15 years…who would wait that long?”

Who indeed? Who would remain faithful to a man who disappeared for so long? Odysseus shivered. He didn’t even want to think about it, despite the doubt biting his heart like a snake. He remembered Agamemnon, whom he had met in the bitter ends of the Underworld. He told him to beware for his wife murdered him upon his return…with her lover.

“No! Not, Penelope! Penelope would never…”

This thought he had made so many times while residing at the beach crying or even within the arms of Calypso at night. These thoughts constantly twirling in his mind. Penelope was a kind woman when he met her. A nice soft bride. However as Calypso had said; they were married almost 20 years and yet he had known her for around a handful. What if she wasn’t who he thought she was? What if she was coerced to change? And his sweet Telemachus…his son would be now 15 years of age; around the age he was when he got his infamous scar by the boar at Parnassus. His son would be practically a man now; independent and strong. He had missed a quarter of his life; his son probably feared his father would be dead. He felt like every single day he spent on that island would be a tick to the clock against him; Penelope marrying again and Telemachus never knowing his father or hearing his voice… This was way too much to bear… His whole life moving on without him was way too much to endure. His pain was eating him up. His hair had started to grow gray. He knew his own youth was long gone however the silver edges to his temples shouldn’t normally appear so fast. His father never grew white. Even when he left for war he had his black hair almost intact and barely started to grow gray. However Odysseus felt like his own features had changed over the years. He saw himself at a polished bronze mirror once and he was surprised. He could hardly recognize the prematurely aged man inside the copper surface. Calypso didn’t seem bothered though. She even seemed to enjoy this change that his torment had brought about him; perhaps she was charmed by his mortal nature; this nature that showed how helpless existence was, that no matter what one did, their time on this earth would be counted for anyways.

Eventually he reached the entrance of the wide, white cave. He was greeted by the sounds of the night and the cold night breeze. Odysseus, though, didn’t shiver nor did he feel it. It was as if his body had turned into marble; his heart into stone. It didn’t matter if in the mornings he was seeking sanctuary to the solitude of the sandy beach and there he would bawl his eyes out almost all day; having nothing else to do but gaze at the waves and cry. In the night Odysseus was a cold statue; as if he had no more tears to shed. As he stood there, listening to the song of the crickets and the waves to the far beyond he felt weak…he felt helpless…he felt like nobody…Oh, how many times had he wished he could get in her room and kill her! How many times he wished he could snap her neck, smother her with a pillow or open that delicate throat with his sword! But he knew it would be impossible. He looked up and noticed a night bird flying to the sky. His furious eyes became liquid and his fists clenched painfully.

“If only you never existed…!” he thought bitterly, “If only you gods never existed! Then us mortals could live our life in peace!”

He was always faithful to the gods. Many people had said he was the best when it came to sacrifices and respect. But now it all seemed pointless in the cover of this dreadful night and all the nights before. Odysseus had come to fear the night and its creatures and feeling disgust by them and he came to hate the day because it only held solitude and sadness. He didn’t even get his usual nightmares as he often got when he slept for the past years; it was as if he was completely hollow. There was hardly anything left of him anymore. Not even his faith. He watched the night owl fly soundlessly in the moonlight and his heart was filled with anger and despair. Athena, why did you abandon me, he thought. Curse you too! How can you leave me like this! However as if he realized the severity of his own mind his eyes watered and a tear ran down his cheek.

“Gods, I am turning into a monster…” he thought, “If I lose my faith to the gods…then…then what’s left of me then…? Is there anything left of Odysseus of Ithaca, father to sweet Telemachus and son of Laërtes?”

He looked back at the grotto that had become his salvation and now his prison and torture. Oh, how he wished he turned that place into a second Troy! How he wished he had his trusty bow that he left to Ithaca, to shoot his arrows to all these creatures that tormented him and set this place in fire! If only he could! He visualized so many times driving arrows to the sensitive flesh of these women and leaving Calypso for last… He would enter her rooms dripping the dark blood of her companions; naked sword in hand so she could see; take a good look on what she did to him and then she would feel the kiss of the metal to her tender throat… He visualized her death so many times that he could almost taste it… Something in his mind snapped. He could almost feel like doing it. Eyes on fire and dripping hot tears he clenched his fists to the point of almost breaking the skin with his nails. He slowly marched to the room only to find her sleeping in the same position; totally unperturbed by his torment.

“Why am I the monster…?” he thought, “And she can sleep peacefully…? After everything she did to me…?”

As madness crept even more into his heart as his infamous temper was about to explode his hands were clenching in a painful grip but he refused to feel the pain. Maybe he could do it tonight. Maybe he could try… Perhaps she was a normal nymph after all; immortal but not indestructible! Maybe he could take his vengeance from this magnificent being that tormented him in the cover of the night, why not? He had done this before. One more sin to add to his miserable life; one more attempt! He could at least try. If it didn’t work, the worst case scenario would be that he would be liberated from this if her anger turned against him! Slowly and soundlessly like a lion in the night he crept on the bed over her. His onyx eyes were even darker than the night around him; yes, he could try! Slowly and carefully he crawled over her when…

An iron hand grabbed his throat, cutting his breath for one second.

Odysseus felt his heart skip a beat. He recognized that soft hand; it was smooth and sleek like silk but held the power of three men in that tiny touch. Suddenly all his previous resolve; his madness evaporated in thin air by the reminder of her strength. No, he had absolutely no chance of doing anything to her. She was no ordinary nymph. She was the daughter of the titan Atlas, the man who held the sky… That grip on his throat lasted for only one second because immediately after it turned into a tender touch to the sides of his neck, followed by a second hand that held him there; softly and yet demandingly. Calypso raised her body to meet his face with hers; her eyes glistering with love and passion.

“Odysseus…!” she whispered

Her voice was barely audible and yet Odysseus didn’t really feel like reacting anymore as those lips sealed his and kissed him deeply. Odysseus felt exhausted. It was as if all his previous anger had taken the life out of him. He knew he had no choice but to respond to her kiss. He had come to know her. He grasped her hair to the back of her head and pulled desperately; in a weak and pitiful attempt to hurt her back. It was his way of showing the weak resistance he could; he would often grab or pull her hair when she kissed him or grasp her in what would have been a bruising grip for any other grown mortal man but it didn’t work on Calypso and he knew it, if anything it was almost like confirmation to her that he was equally passionate, giving her the wrong impression. He knew it was doing nothing. It was just his last way to show his will. As Calypso wrapped her beautiful legs around his waist she pulled him down with her.

Odysseus felt his tears dry in his eyes.

He was once more a statue.

He chose not to feel…

[skippyangel16]

My final post…

The Waypoint when ‘it’ was given life and perhaps they lost their way for good?

Three’s a Crowd…and it always appears there’s three in this ‘public marriage’. 2018…when they ALL took on their roles!

Whilst they could be contractually obliged to deny their relationship, no one could make them do what they have done.

They gave it life and it continues to grow…

We’re doing it now people, action!

The ‘directors’ direct…

Sam has his prompt, Cait guides Tony…oops nearly walks past🤣

Oh we’re doing this now, let’s make it look convincing…

#awkward 🫣

Tony has had a makeover ….Sam takes it all in… looks like he’s about to 🤮

👇What it could have looked like if authentic 🤪

Below👇Cait is talking. Sam replies ‘right, okay?’

Cait speaks again whilst giving him a reassuring arm rub 🥰 the love in that arm rub speaks volumes!

Sam asks (appears to say) ‘Do you get all this shite?’ eyes immediately looking at….🧐 whatever she replied his smile says it all. They are both happy together despite the shit show. Happy to deceive?

Let’s not ever forget just how staged this is!

How anyone can’t see the performance 🎭 is beyond me? Pure Hollywood…

Since then they have both actively supported the narrative more and more each year so whilst you can feel sorry for them back in 2016 (when they appeared to be pressured to go underground)today it’s harder. With every performance they do they make it more unlikely that they will come out anytime soon. His book reiterated Cait is the only woman but it also brought the brother/sister relationship to the fore again🤮. I’m afraid that’s pretty much made my mind up there’s no imminent plan to come clean. He has cemented his single commitment free life in black and white, any u turn on that now revealing a totally different version with his ‘perhaps sister’ would have a huge backlash from those who part with 💰 for his products. Alas although his alcohol business is growing it’s likely he is more reliant on fan sales than he would like to be. Maybe one day it won’t be so but perhaps single Sam will be around until the scales tip the other way?🤷‍♀️

There is no denying they actively manipulate all sides of the fandom…ours included, but the fact remains our side is basically them just being themselves and most of the time it just happens naturally! IMO 🤪

But it’s not all innocent …

Some wise words from Jamie.

When you have to sell your part truth…can’t imagine the stress and damage to your soul!

He (allegedly)is a good man leading a fake life and when you can’t have your truth, it will destroy you. Can you be a good man if you deliberately deceive, lie and manipulate?

Can you really feel 💯 % proud of it?

Someone recently said on one of my posts they have ended up with the ‘cover up’ book and will think twice about what they buy in the future. That’s a fair comment.

When I look at this card I have an overwhelming urge to add IT to his SH.

The shit show lives on…😢 I just wish they would stop feeding it!

Keep your secrets but tell us no lies…

Alas I am all done here, the book has shown a lost man. If anyone needs to pick a lane it’s Sam, he’s trying to be everything to everyone, so who looks crazy? Single Sam will never be convincing when all he talks about is his married co star and when in her presence looks at her as if she is the only woman on earth.

Lies are poison, a sure path to self destruction. I don’t wish to watch that happen or anymore cycles of this shit show. They are actually abusing their fans by doing this imo. Excuses will always be made for whatever Sam does by thousands here, his god like persona and charm are like a spell that keeps us all engaged. His ability to come out of everything smelling like roses is truly amazing. He knows exactly what he’s doing and what he will get away with. Denying his family as his truth ✅ yep seems there’s nothing he can’t or won’t do and yes fans have already excused him. JMHO.

Everyone will continue to make excuses for him until you can’t, my tipping point is him denying his family in his memoirs. Call it artistic license if it makes you happy, or blame the ghost writer, but I wouldn’t want to put that out into the universe.🤮

Sold it as His truth…totally supporting the narrative, nothing good about that.

I knew once I reached the point that I believe they are totally complicit in their fan manipulation for their own gain I would leave. They may not have started out that way or intended to reach the level they are at now but that’s how toxic Hollywood works. ‘It’ has become their normal. They are their own jailers and complicit in their own narrative imo. It’s their life and their choice on how they want to play/live it. I choose not to watch it any further. Sam has shown his true colours in this book, no one to hide behind. Who is Sam Heughan? Well con artist springs to my mind at this point in time but that’s JMHO. I no longer like what I see so therefore I just don’t care anymore. I still believe they are together but there is no joy in watching this farce, there are no winners here.

I came here for a love story but all I see is a public tragedy on display and a private tragedy waiting to happen as their lies engulf them…I hope they find their moral compass and follow it again soon. What could have been their best years have now gone by. No doubt they will one day cash in on their Hollywood love story, may even star in it as themselves…but that’s some way off imo. They are as free as they want to be, the only one that actually needs freeing is Tony but maybe he’s happy and got a job for life?

His book is my waypoint out of here. I can finally see them for who they really are, as I don’t wish to blog negatively I’m freeing myself of their lies and manipulation. They only have themselves to blame for what the fans believe here whatever side your on. It’s an ugly, sick game and a total turn off… it’s not good for anyones mental health!

Officially signing off from blogging S&C but I wish them nothing but happiness.

To everyone here thanks for making me welcome and all the discussions!

Wishing you all good health and happiness!

😘

Over and Out…

[x-neurodivergent-reader]

Headcanons: Autistic!Loki

A/N: Surprise! This time I’ve written something a little different, particularly inspired by interactions and details I remembered from the first Thor film… am I supposed to be catching up on my uni work right now? Yes. Did I come up with two ideas for Loki being autistic, say “I’ll do more once I have time”, and then end up hyperfocusing until there was an entire list in front of me? Also yes. :(

Content warnings: Mentions of being undervalued and made fun of (all canon-typical, pretty much), a little bit of brutal honesty about Loki’s canon personality, and some projection!

Of course, there's his introverted nature. While he used to take any opportunity to be included in ventures with Thor and his friends, he was always someone who needed time alone to recharge from social situations, sensory overload, and other things that were overwhelming. He also just liked taking time to himself every so often.

Reading became his comfort in these moments, because it allows him to close himself off to indulge in fictional worlds or information.

I like to think that both Loki’s charm and his ability to manipulate others were more hard-won than people think - from a young age, he was more than aware that he thought of things differently from the people around him, and had a different understanding of social skills, logic, and making connections.

He became very curious about how other people work, which led to him experimenting with saying and doing different things around people to see how they would react. He also read a lot of psychology books – it was pretty much a special interest for him.

He became more and more familiar with it with age, and is now rather masterful with observing people’s personal body language, and what to say to make them feel or do certain things – good or bad.

On a similar note regarding social skills: he has a snarky and sometimes dark sense of humour, and he frequently uses it at inappropriate moments. He can also be deadpan to the point that people can't tell if he's joking.

Loki's always had a tendency to play pranks and tricks on people who don't find it quite as funny as he does. Particularly when he was younger, he had trouble understanding why they usually made people upset or angry with him.

While the way he expresses them outwardly is quite subdued unless they’re particularly strong, he's always been more emotionally sensitive than his peers - he also had more trouble regulating his emotions when he was younger.

He has sensory issues - particularly regarding sound and touch - but he usually keeps them bottled up when they're triggered, because he's been made fun of for them before.

When it comes to battles, big celebrations, and other events that might involve loud noises and being touched, he secretly casts a spell on himself to make everything quieter, and to make it so he barely feels physical contact unless it hurts him.

Fiddling and picking at his hands is a bit of a stim for him when he's nervous - if that feeling lasts for long enough and he doesn't redirect that stim, he sometimes ends up with red marks on the insides of his hands, or he picks at a hangnail until it bleeds.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: someone please get this poor god a spinner ring-

He does have some good stims as well, however! He enjoys textile stims, particularly the feel of fur, silk and velvet. He also enjoys the sound of rain, and of a crackling fireplace.

He’s in sensory heaven when he’s curled up in a soft blanket, reading one of his favourite books by the fire, or while it’s raining outside his window.

I also like to think that he’s seen the aurora on a visit to Earth, and it was very visually stimmy for him - he was utterly mesmerised by the moving colours and patterns.

[realmermaid333]

Please sort The Hunger Games characters into HoGwaRtS Houses :

For reference (according wikia)

Hufflepuff : Loyalty and hard working

Gryffindor : Bravery and chivalry

Ravenclaw : Wit and learning

Slytherin : Cunning and ambition

You can include as many characters as you want/can.

And you can give a reason why do you sort that character into that house.

Thank you so much 😊

PS : this is just for fun, if you don't like HP or THG, just ignore this ask 🔥

@curiousnonny

Omg I am so glad you asked! I've actually thought this through many times before. I will sort characters and give my reasonings.

Hogwarts housing is generally based in your morals rather than character traits. It's the "why" that sorts you. Why are you interested in what you are interested in? What are your goals? Think Hermione, she seems like a stereotypical Ravenclaw, but she isn't one because she uses her smarts for bravery. Yes, she enjoys learning just to learn, but she was called the "brightest witch of her age" because she knew all of these spells and magical facts that saved her friends and helped Harry defeat Voldemort. She ended up being the Minister of Magic because she wanted to make the world better and be a leader!

So, anyway lol.

Katniss Everdeen- a Gryffindor for sure! She wanted to make the world a better place, she'd die for it. She made so many sacrifices and fiercely defended everyone in her life, even people she didn't know. She was courageous and she was a leader (although she didn't exactly want to be one).

Peeta Mellark- I'd say he's a Hufflepuff, he was fair and just. He was good with his words, he wanted to make things right, and he was always true to himself. He was also so very loyal, especially to Katniss.

Finnick Odair- Definitely a Slytherin lolz. He was a sneaky guy! He was great at manipulation and deceit, he knew how to get what he wanted. Like how he got secrets from Capitol people so he had dirt against President Snow. He was able to persuade Katniss and Peeta into following the rebel plan, his ability to charm people was likely why he was the one who was asked to bond with Katniss and Peeta and form an alliance with them early on.

Primrose Everdeen- I almost want to say Gryffindor for her because she was always so brave, but we have to look at the reasons. What were her goals? Well, it seemed that what she really wanted to do was help people, she was brave for the purpose of wanting to heal the injured. And while you could call that Gryffindor... this is where things get complicated for me... I feel like if she were more a Gryffindor, her bravery would be more like fighting for a cause or wanting to lead a cause. But rather she wanted to save people and give them a chance. She was patient, she was loyal to her medical studies and her family, she was hard working, she wanted to give everyone a fighting chance, even the Capitol people. I guess she could be a mix between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff, but if I was a sorting hat I would probably just put her in Hufflepuff, I think she'd like it there lol.

Johanna Mason- I've been really thinking about this one and I think she'd be a Ravenclaw. She is brave, but she doesn't care for being a hero or saving anyone, she just wanted to be left alone, I don't feel like she is a Hufflepuff, and I don't think she is a Slytherin either. We never saw her being cunning or persuasive like Finnick was, if anything she kind of gave up hints that there was a plan quite a few times. (although when she won the games she did pretend she was harmless as a way to manipulate, but I still don't think that makes her a Slytherin, she was just smart af). I think she is Ravenclaw because is clever and witty, she also seemed like she would be rather creative. I'm not sure why, but she just gives those vibes. I feel like outside of the games, when she was happy and alone, she'd be someone who liked to create art and learn about different topics. I could see her getting into heated debates about things like politics and art.

Annie Cresta- We don't know much about her in the books, but based on my personal headcanons for her I think she'd be a Ravenclaw. She would be a very creative person who loves learning. I could imagine her getting very obsessed with topics and wanting to learn everything there is to know about them, particularly marine biology.

Haymitch Abernathy- A Slytherin!!! Even with how he won his Hunger Games, he was cunning and outsmarted the last opponent. Later on in his life, it seemed the only things that motivated him and really brought him back to life were rebel plans. Once he gets some sort of goal, he will do everything he can and pull whatever strings to get what he wants. He was never in the front lines of the missions like Katniss, but he did all of the planning and strategizing. He was the one who made most of the plans in the Catching Fire arena, he kept things from both Katniss and Peeta and played both of them, he used trickery to get what he wanted and he was very good at it.

Effie- She'd be a Hufflepuff I think, she was hardworking in her job and took it very seriously. At first she was loyal to the Capitol, but as someone who valued fairness and doing what was right, she later ended up being loyal to the Rebels once she realized the Capitol was awful (this was shown more in the movies, I think it is the only thing the movies added that I actually liked lol). She was also so very patient and loving towards Katniss, even when Katniss was super mean to Effie, she would forgive her. In the end, she was loyal to Haymitch, Peeta, and Katniss.

[violettelueur]

FUSHIGURO MEGUMI || HAND GESTURES

| featuring : fushiguro megumi from jujutsu kaisen

| warnings : grammar errors, but other than that n/a

| form : imagine

| word count : 1427

| published : 22 december

| synopsis : just you and fushiguro in his dorm room before you ask him to teach you his hand gestures that he uses to summon his shikigamis - because why not?

| barista’s notes : hey hey hey~ i hope you all are okay? today it’s fushiguro megumi’s aka my husband’s birthday today!＼ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ／so i had to give you guys something that was i was planning to write for another time, but i realise that this was the best time to post this little imagine that i had planned ʕᴥ·　ʔ i hope you all enjoy this cup of classic black coffee that i had made for you all guys ʕ≧ᴥ≦ʔ don’t worry, it’s on the house ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡

Staring down upon his reading book, Fushiguro couldn’t help but hear the small but noticeable sound of shuffling coming from the lower end of his bed that was to some degree distracting him from his reading session. Drifting his emerald eyes from the page on to the person that was sitting on the floor right beside his bed, Fushiguro found you cutely concentrating down on your hands trying to do some gestures that he didn’t seem to understand until you suddenly and casually place your right hand on top of your left between the gap of your thumb and index finger before moving your right thumb ever so slightly towards the direction of your body.

“Mimi, it’s like this right?” you then quickly asked your boyfriend, as you swiftly turned your body to face towards him with your hands staying in the position to where he would summon his divine dogs. Smiling gently down at you, Fushiguro placed his book upside down on the bed before steadily reaching over to your hands to carefully separate the fingers from your left hand - as if you were made out of glass that he could easily break - to create the ‘mouth’ of the dog before nodding at you.

“Nearly there,” Fushiguro stated, as he looked down at you with the most gentle expression on his face - contrasting his usual stern and irritated face when he was outside his dorm room especially on missions when both of you were with Gojo, Itadori and Kugisaki. “Can you teach me the rest of them?” you curiously asked causing Fushiguro to give you a surprised expression before you quickly explained, “I think it’s really cool how you are able to summon your Shikigamis without the use of a charm and instead use shadows,” to which then you looked down upon your hands and randomly place your hands together as if that was going to do anything.

“Don’t you think your curse technique is also amazing though?” Fushiguro asked, as he leisurely moved from his seat on the bed to sit on the space next to you on the floor before leading back onto the framing. “You’re able to cast many advanced level spells with your curse energy without the use of an incantation and you can also create your own and manipulate any right? Shouldn’t you be more amazed at your own technique? You are the first shaman to have that sort of technique, it even surprised Gojo since there is no history to it,”.

“Yeah, but you have cute companions by your side, Mimi,” you quickly countered Fushiguro before continuing whining with, “like who wouldn’t want a cute dog at their beckoning call?” leading to Fushiguro giving you a weird-out look before quickly stating, “you know, my divine dogs are not pets right?”

Letting out a light giggle, you quickly nodded before asking once again if he would teach you all his hand gestures to which Fushiguro couldn’t refuse you the second he heard your laugh - it was like a sweet melody to his ears - as well as the endearing smiling you were presenting him at this moment in time. Slowly turning his body to face you directly while crossing his legs, you did the same before Fushiguro tenderly took your hands in his and moved them into the next position that he wanted to teach you.

After interlocking your thumbs, Fushiguro then moved his hands away - taking his warmth with him, that nearly caused you to whimper from the loss of it as well as his touch - before observing if he had placed your hands in the correct position. “This one is for Nue,” Fushiguro expressed, causing you to lift your hands up to see the gesture yourself. “That make’s a lot of sense since they do show wings, but it could also mean a butterfly,” you comedically suggested, before playfully bending your fingers on both hands to make it seem like they were flapping wings leading to your boyfriend to look at you once again with a weird face before a smile slowly appeared on his face. 

Fushiguro couldn’t help but find the sight of you learning his hand gestures for his curse technique really adorable, it was as if you were like a child copying the movement of their parent to learn something new, yet you also looked like someone that had done something amazing and was excited to show their achievements to someone. You looked extremely happy that he was teaching this to you, it was as if you wanted to be more connected with him somehow.

“Teach me the next one Mimi!” you cutely demanded as you lean closer to him, causing the green-eyed shaman’s face to slowly have a light rose hues being painted on his cheeks before he grabbed your hands once again to show you the next hand position he was going to teach you next.

During this little lesson time, you wouldn’t help but quickly notice the feeling of your boyfriend’s hands. Of course, you have held them before and many times before this, but you couldn’t help but notice how smooth they felt upon your skin, yet so rough due to some of the calluses that were stubbornly on his hand no matter how many times you could moisturise them with your hand cream. Apart from that, one thing you always noticed was how warm his hands were no matter where he was. Wherever it was in rain or the snow, Fushiguro’s hands were somehow always warm allowing you to steal some of that heat whenever you were freezing or just needed to be reminded of the sense of home, his warmth was something that you loved so much.

“And that’s the last one,” Fushiguro mentioned in a soft tone, somewhat sad that this little session came to an end, as he watched you look down at your hands with sparkles in your eyes before you raised your hands and kindly asked him, “is this Gama, Mimi?” since you remembered him using this gesture one time during a mission to summon the toad that you strangely adored so much to which Fushiguro nodded before noticing you had widened your eyes as if you had realised something - to which you had.

“Ah! So when you combine Nue and Gama, you get the technique that you used on Todo that day right?” you excitedly question, before doing both the hand gestures in order to show Fushiguro what you were talking about to which then you were looking at your boyfriend with shiny eyes as you waited for his approval, causing the linger rose hues on his face to become redder at the adorable sight of you.

“Yeah that’s right, you're a quick learner, ain’t you Y/N?” Fushiguro asked, only for you to smile brightly at him before saying, “well, I am learning from the best,” leading Fushiguro to somehow maintain his composure to not break down in pride down in front of you after you had just complimented him. 

“Can I teach you something?” you asked the shikigami user leading him to nod before it was your turn to take his hands into yours, surprising him somewhat, but allowed you to do what you wanted since he was relishing the warmth that you were now providing him. Fushiguro felt both his thumb and index finger being placed together before you angled them slightly to then showcase what you did. It was a finger heart to which then you then curved your fingers with your thumb at the bottom before placing them together to make a heart.

“Thank you for teaching me and I love you, Mimi,” you said with a bright smile, causing the green-eyed shaman to look at you with complete shock painted on his face before he quickly leaned forward and buried his face on the crook of your neck to hide his extremely red tomato face from you, causing you to laugh before placing your hands on the back on his neck as well as around his back before using your fingers to lightly run them along his back while gently playing with his long strands on the back of his head to help him calm down lightly.

“I love you too Y/N,” Fushiguro quietly replied, before burying his face even further if he could, causing his erratic hair to lightly graze itself upon your cheek, tickling you slightly.

You had him there, he couldn’t lie.

The heart was the best hand gesture you had shown him in today’s lesson.

[phoebe-delia]

Has anyone asked for song #1 yet? I'm very curious which song you're listening to most.

I really enjoy your writing in combination with the song prompts! Thank you for sharing it with the world!

Hello darling! Thank you for this ask. As a matter of fact, no one has requested 1!

My number 1 song is the explicit version of "Potential Breakup Song" by Aly and AJ.

I know, I thought it would be a Taylor Swift song, too! I will say, this playlist was from Apple Music and I recently started using Spotify more so idk if this is still accurate for my current No. 1 song, but it's still a bop.

This is a bit of a challenge, but I figure if I can write a fic based on "Yeah!" by Usher, I can give this a try. This fic will be *mostly* funny and fluffy but there's some angst with a happy ending.

5 Times Draco Almost Broke Up With Harry

1.

"Tell me something," Draco said shyly, tracing patterns into Harry's bare arm. Sunlight streamed into the living room, dust motes dancing in the rays.

"What do you mean?"

"Something I don't already know about you."

"Like what?"

Draco's expression turned exasperated. "I don't know, Harry, that's rather the point."

"Right...er, okay, here's something you don't know about me. I don't like whipped cream."

Draco looked at him, startled. "You don't?"

"Er, no. I also don't like marshmallows or--"

"What?"

"Or avocado, or eggs."

Draco sputtered. "What is wrong with you?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Merlin, here we go."

Draco narrowed his eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Every time I tell people the foods I don't like, they get all indignant and huffy," Harry waved a hand. "It's so weird. Like I've offended them by disliking meringue."

"You don't like meringue?! That's it, I'm breaking up with you."

Harry groaned. "I regret this. I regret everything. Just--forget it."

Draco sighed. "No, no I'm sorry. In my exaggerated teasing, I see how I might've struck a nerve."

"It's fine--I'm just tired of people taking my food preferences as a personal insult."

"I take everything you do as a personal insult."

Harry just chuckled. "That you do, Draco, that you do."

2.

"POTTER!!"

"WHAT?"

"GET IN HERE!"

"WHERE'S 'HERE'?"

"TAKE A WILD GUESS, AUROR POTTER!"

....

"Ah, good to see that your tracking skills aren't too hopeless. Now, care to tell me what's wrong with this picture?"

"Er...you're angry?"

"Yes, I am angry--and the reason for that is obvious if you merely look around the room and see if you can identify what might be bothering me."

"You get really formal when you're upset."

"Potter--"

"And you call me Potter."

"If only you would use your powers of observation for discovering the cause and not the symptoms of my frustration, this conversation would be over."

...

"Is it my socks?"

"Your socks, your pants, your shirt, your trousers--all in a heap in the closet."

"So? I haven't done laundry in a while."

"Potter, you do realize there are laundry spells, don't you? So that dirty clothes don't stink up one's closet?"

"...No?"

Sigh. "Alright, I suppose I won't move out this time."

"Oh, what a relief."

"Was that sarcasm?"

"Never. Especially not toward you, baby."

"I should hope not. Now, c'mere and let me teach you the spell."

3.

"I can't believe you'd betray me like this." Draco shook his head mournfully, bits of snow falling from the top of his warm hat. "I trusted you."

Harry scoffed. His breath fogged in the air. "I told you this was happening today. It's not my fault you weren't listening."

"Asking me post-coital if I'd like to attend the Weasley Family Brunch is Slytherin-level manipulation."

"Did I ever tell you the Sorting Hat almost put me in Slytherin?"

"What?" Draco stopped walking, turning to Harry in shock.

"Yeah. Told me I'd do well. But you'd been such an arse to Ron that I begged it to sort me anywhere else."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Of course. Honestly, I did you a favor. You were practically made for Gryffindor."

"Who knows? Maybe we'd have been friends back then."

Draco glared and Harry snickered.

"You know, Potter, between your little jokes and this stunt you pulled, I'm one insult away from Apparating on the spot and leaving you here."

Harry smiled fondly. Taking Draco's hand, he led them toward the Burrow, its warm light a welcome destination in the icy weather.

"Nah, you won't, you know why?"

"Why?"

Harry smirked. "Because then we won't get to be post-coital together."

Draco scowled. Harry laughed.

4.

"Don't say a word."

"Can I just--"

"Harry."

"But I--"

"Potter. Shut up.

...

"Draco I'm sorry--"

"Harry, what is the one thing I asked you to do when you became an Auror?"

"...Don't be stupid."

"Yes. I asked you not to do anything stupid. I asked you not to impulsively put yourself in harm's way."

"Draco it's my job to protect my partner, and--"

"You don't think I understand that? Of course I do! I can't fault you for being a loyal partner, Harry, but running into a hostage situation without calling for backup is the absolute dumbest thing you could've done! You nearly died!"

"But I didn't! And the case is over now."

"You were in St. Mungos for nearly a week! Do you know how agonizing it was to see you like that? Do you--" Draco's voice cracked and he cut himself off, turning away from Harry.

Harry's heart clenched. He walked up to Draco and wrapped strong arms around him from behind, expecting to be pushed away. Instead, Draco leaned into the touch.

"I know your job has its risks, Harry, but the least you can do is not create them for yourself. You said the Sorting Hat nearly put you in Slytherin; some self-preservation would be good for you."

Harry sighed, nuzzling Draco's neck. "Okay. I'll try."

Draco turned in his arms, looking at Harry with wet eyes. "Good. The last thing I want to do is break up with you, but I couldn't handle it if I lost you any other way, I--" The tears spilled at that. Draco's face flushed in embarrassment, in anguish.

Harry's chest constricted. He pulled Draco close to himself and stroked his hair, letting the other man cry his fears into his shirt.

"I won't let it happen, Draco. I promise."

Draco nodded, his cheek brushing Harry's shirt.

Harry smiled. They'd be okay.

5.

Draco was going to kill Harry.

He was going to break up with him, and then kill him, and then revive him just to break up with him once more.

He cast a Tempus. 8:20.

Over an hour. Over an hour he'd been waiting for Harry to return home. He was beginning to get hot in his tailored suit, despite the cooling charms.

He hadn't heard anything. No Owl, no Floo, no nothing. Either Harry had no respect for decorum or...

Nope. Draco couldn't go there, wouldn't. Harry promised and he always kept his promises.

Suddenly, the Floo roared to life, making Draco jump. Harry stumbled through with a panicked expression on his face, dusting the Floo powder from his formal robes.

"Draco! Merlin, I'm so sorry, I thought I had time and then everything got all screwed up and I got here as fast as I could."

Draco sighed. "It's fine, Harry, let's just order takeaway."

"Why?"

"Well, we missed our reservation. Cerise won't wait for more than thirty minutes."

Harry pursed his lips. "What if I had something else in mind?"

Draco narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"

With a smirk, Harry tossed him a hairbrush, which Draco caught with Seeker instinct.

"Harry wh--" His eyes widened as he felt the pull of a portkey, the sound of Harry's amused laughter echoing behind him.

He landed with a thud on a balcony. After a crack, Harry appeared next to him, gasping to catch his breath for a moment.

"Potter, what the fuck?"

Harry chuckled. "Surprise! Look around, Draco."

Draco's breath caught as he finally took in his surroundings. They were standing on a balcony in Paris, confirmed by the sight of La Tour Eiffel in the distance. The lights of the city twinkled like stars below them. On the balcony were two chairs and a small table with hot food under a stasis charm. A bottle of wine and two glasses sat ready for them. Draco checked the label and confirmed with a gasp that it was a 1989 Chateau Lafleur.

"Harry, I--" Draco turned around but was startled into silence at the sight of Harry on his knee, a hopeful smile on his face and a small black box in his hand.

Draco's eyes went wide. "What?" He breathed.

Harry bit his lip. "Draco, I'm sorry I don't like whipped cream. I'm sorry I forget to do laundry, and that I dragged you to Sunday dinner. I'm sorry that I worry you sometimes because my job is dangerous. I'm sorry I run late to our dates sometimes.

But I promise to give you the avocado from my sandwich. I promise to try to remember the spells you taught me, and to use my manipulative powers for good and not evil. I promise I'll use better judgment in the field. And I promise I'll try to be on time for our dates.

And I promise to do all of this for as long as I can, as long as you let me. And if you do--if you promise to love me for the rest of our lives--I promise to do the same. Draco Malfoy, will you marry me?"

Draco let out a delighted, euphoric laugh. "Yes, yes of course I'll marry you!"

Harry grinned and rose from his knee to pull Draco into a nearly bruising kiss. When they pulled apart, they pressed their foreheads together and looked as Harry slid the ring, a simple silver band with tiny emeralds, onto Draco's finger.

As they ate dinner, looking out over the city, Harry gave him a cheeky grin. "So, tell me, how'd I do?"

Draco raised his eyebrows. "With tonight? The proposal?"

"Yeah, what'd you think? I hope it made up for me being late. I'm sure you were about ten minutes from breaking up with me," Harry said with a chuckle.

Draco shook his head and smirked. "No, Harry," he raised the glass of wine to his lips. "I'd never do that."

Send me an ask about Harry Potter, broadway/musicals, The West Wing, and/or Taylor Swift! Or just about life in general :).

Also, I have a playlist of my 99 most listened-to songs of the year so far. Pick a number 1--99 and send me an ask and I'll write you a fic based on it!

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 4/5

Book Blurb: "Beautifully vicious. Perfect for the fairytale reader who has always wanted the heroine to grow sharp teeth and bite Prince Charming."—Chloe Gong, #1 New York Times bestselling author of These Violent Delights A darkly enchanting fantasy debut about a morally gray witch, a cursed prince, and a prophecy that ignites their fate-twisted destinies—perfect for fans of The Cruel Prince and Serpent & Dove. Violet is a prophet and a liar, influencing the royal court with her cleverly phrased—and not always true—divinations. Honesty is for suckers, like the oh-so-not charming Prince Cyrus, who plans to strip Violet of her official role once he’s crowned at the end of the summer—unless Violet does something about it. But when the king asks her to falsely prophesy Cyrus's love story for an upcoming ball, Violet awakens a dreaded curse, one that will end in either damnation or salvation for the kingdom—all depending on the prince’s choice of future bride. Violet faces her own choice: Seize an opportunity to gain control of her own destiny, no matter the cost, or give in to the ill-fated attraction that’s growing between her and Cyrus. Violet’s wits may protect her in the cutthroat court, but they can't change her fate. And as the boundary between hatred and love grows ever thinner with the prince, Violet must untangle a wicked web of deceit in order to save herself and the kingdom—or doom them all.

Review:

A morally grey Seer, a cursed prince, and a prophecy that could spell their ruin, Violet is a seer and a liar, she’s survived for as long as she has by playing the game of court. She please people with lies and little half truths, but the one person who has always gotten under her skin is the one boy she saved when she was younger, Prince Cyrus. Violet is as thorny as they come, she’s a survivor, she’s willing to do anything to save herself, but for some reason when it comes to him she can’t seem to think straight. Her relationship with Cyrus is fraught and difficult and she knows that he wants nothing more than to strip her of her official role once he is crowned at the end of the summer. Yet when the king ask her to falsely prophesize Cyrus’s love story for an upcoming ball what Violent ends up with is awakening a dreaded curse... that spells either damnation or salvation for the kingdom, all depending on the prince’s choice of future bride. Yet another issue arises... she is given another vision from the fates... either she or Cyrus will be the only one left alive at the end of the summer. Violet must now navigate trying to find a wife for Cyrus while also securing her position, except the complicated feelings between the two of them start to rise. They hate each other with such a burning passion... one could almost say they’re both in love with each other, but they can’t trust one another but the attraction and lust is still there. Between complicated feelings, trying to avoid fates and prohpecies and making it out of court alive while a darker plot is running, can Violet and Cyrus sort out their complicated relationship or will one of them truly die this summer. Okay this was such a fun dark fairytale with hints of other fairytale retellings in it! I actually really liked Violet, she’s manipulative, she’s blunt and sharp, but she’s willing to do whatever it takes to survive and honestly, same girl. Cyrus on the other hand, one moment I want to throttle him and the next I’m falling for him, I completely get where Violet is with him. I am so intrigued about where the story is going to go next and how their relationship will play out. SERIOUSLY GIMME THE NEXT BOOK!!

*Thanks Netgalley and Random House Children's, Delacorte Press for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[bee-cried]

SoRRY I JUST WANNA FANGIRL ABOUT THE BLUES REAL QUICK

This ship is my HEART

I love them so much omg. I just wanna talk about them in the mth universe real quick okay? Okay.

I love how SBJ wrote Boomer.

I SINCERELY LOVE THE WAY SHE WROTE HIM.

Oh god. Im going back to my early 2012 days when i was obsessed with fanimations of the Powerpuff girls and i would legit sit around and watch hours of the same animated stuff (im looking at you rrb x ppnkg Katy Perry ET fan music video)

But because we were all pretty young at the time and not really that creatively original, we all sort of just made Boomer some innocent, soft boy in the fanfics who instantly fell for Bubbles and they would just be a couple.

BUT GAH DAMN DID SBJ SUBVERT MY EXPECTATIONS.

Being a kiddo at the time, and assuming that only people around my age were writing ppg fanfics, I was like "TCH, why is everyone on Deviant art obsessing over this More Than Human cRAp. I caN wRiTE a BeTTeR fAnFIc."

But then I read it.

And it was more than grammar/spelling errorless, unlike most fics I read.

the characters had DIMENSION.

I didn't expect to see

Blossom as a dancer

Butch into Blossom (i was a big cry baby over color crack ships, but her fic became the exception.)

Brick being mature and scary

BOOMER AS A GOOFBALL

AND BUBBLES LITERALLY DENYING HIM OF HIS AFFECTION

Talk about a full 180.

And I know, I KNOW THAT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE A BIG DEAL. BUT OMG WHEN I TELL YOU THEIR EARLY INTERACTIONS ARE SO FUCKIN-

AHHHHHHHHH

Its the way Boomer tries to pin her for me.

It's the way he's literally obsessed for me.

It's the Bubbles seeing right through him for me.

IT'S THE "MR. STEAL YO GIRL" ATTITUDE FOR ME.

Boomer has literally worked so MOTHA FUKN hard to get this ONE GIRL'S ATTENTION who , as Brick clearly puts it, "IS THE ENEMY"

And he falls for her over a Mariah Carey song. HE KNEW IF YOU COULD SING LIKE MIMI... BITCH THERE IS NO COMPETITION.

Omg i feel bad for Hailey.

Oh yeah and, he and Hailey... Bruh. This guy gets his ex to agree to play an Avril song with him just so he can serenade BUBBLES.

THAT IS SO

Boomer. Omg that is so Boomer cause it's like his thought process>> "I know we broke up, but your guitar skills are awesome and I really need you blessing.... Yes by your blessings im referring to your guitar playing...Yes this is for another girl"

" ...Yes it's for Bubbles... Please don't hate me."

And just the fact that Bubbles is like, "Hun, I don't care if you're up there singing "I will Always Love you" to me. If the name ain't Will, you can gon' 'head and chill. "

But Boomer is so determined.

Everytime he gets the chance to impress her, he doesn't hesitate. He's sung to her in the rain (sort of). He picked up on joining the school musical just to have the slim opportunity of kissing her. Can you imagine him , up at like 1 a.m on a school night watching a bunch of musicals foR BUBBLES.

And their banter is so cute! Bubbles knows Boomer's game and she likes to play it just enough to keep HERSELF entertained. She is fully aware she's tempering with a ROWDYRUFF BOY. She see's his tricks from a mile away.

So they just go back and forth and back and forth because really, even though Boomer says he doesn't take his shenanigans with Bubbles seriously...

This is the only thing he's had to work for. Like legit, everything else he's got was because of a hand out or advantages.

His musical talent: a handout from HIM

His first girlfriend: The advantages of his good looks

JS Inc: An advantage from being Bricks brother and being a rowdyruff boy

No neck joe: His advantage of playing instruments (and because he was a ruff boy)

Him becoming popular: his advantages of, music, rrb background and good looks BOOM

BUT DON'T NONE OF THAT SHIT IMPRESS BUBBLES ENOUGH TO GIVE HIM THE TIME OF DAY 😭

She doesn't care that he's hot, that he's popular, that he can literally play her anything ahe wants, just how she likes it. She doesn't care that he says "he'll be nice" or "play fair" or whatever, or that he's literally so charming, so smooth, he treats her as if she's the only girl to exist in his world. He's tried to amplify that he cares about her by hurting other people- BUT IT'S IN HER NAME.

No. What Bubbles want is simple...

It's commitment.

If he can't be committed to love her (I mean look at how easily he threw Hailey aside), or be there when she needs him, or simply BE COMMITTED TO BEING A GOOD PERSON.

Then she can not date him.

Because she doesn't just want to date a cute guy, she wants to be in love with someone she trusts...

And at first it seems like Boomer just wants to have her as an accessory to his life, and he DOES. The guy literally expects her to drop her relationship with Will just so they can live out his five minute fantasy.

But slowly he realizes, it's more than that magnificent voice. He likes to see her flustered and he doesn't like seeing her upset because of what people say about her. He doesn't want her to be annoyed by him, or to just brush off his advances.

He starts to really want her.

Like REALLY want her, because whatever they've built, that's the only thing he's had to work for in his life, and he loves her for that. He loves her even more when she implies that he is just as important as his brothers and that it's okay to be just a teenager in love. He loves her and his music, she doesn't ask for more from him. She wants him to be happy, and he wants to just be happy with her.

AHH FUCK I CAN TALK FOREVER ABOUT THESE TWO OKAY??

FOREVER

THEY ARE MY OTP

But dear lord, I've been typing for some time

Anyway, YES. I adore their dynamic. Boomer may be more of a douche than he realizes but he's never had to work for anything. He's never really been challenged. Bubbles is his only challenge EVEN WHEN THEY GET TOGETHER, he begins questioning the longevity of what they have because he's reminded that he's not the first and Bubbles has a heart of her own. No matter what he does, because of who she is (not just to him, but in general) he cannot manipulate that. He can not force Bubbles to love him if she falls out of love with him. And that's so world shattering for him because the girl is literally his WORLD. Like no other person could replace her because Bubbles is literally all of who he is. He feels like, if he loses her, what is he? What's his purpose? This is the only thing he's ever built.

Which is really, incredibly sad because he shouldn't think of their relationship like that, but he's so deeply in love with her, for him there really is no other. You could try to hand him "the girl of his dreams" and he'd just... Sort of laugh and turn right to Bubbles because everyone knows, THAT'S the girl of his dreams. It's the only girl he'd want to be with.

A lot of people probably won't believe me if I said I'm also a big boomercup shipper, because their dynamic just works so well.

Okay, i am done FANGIRLING. Thanks for reading my long ass post.