#i am also 100% certain this was done on purpose

[whump-tr0pes]

Hey can I just talk about Hans Zimmer and his genius for a second.

Throughout Dune parts 1 and 2, groups of people are given musical themes, families are given musical themes, themes of the story are given musical themes. The Atreides have their theme, the Harkonens have their theme, with different instruments being assigned to these groups as well.

Here's the thing, though: individual people do not get themes. Not even Paul has a theme. I would argue that the Kwisatz Haderach has a theme, and Paul's journey has a theme, and eventually Paul's love story gets a theme, but Paul does not. This story is about more than individual people, it's about how people get swallowed up and lost in the tides of destiny and history.

There is one exception to this rule. There is one person who gets his own theme, because it truly is him as a thread through time that holds history together. But I think Hans gave him a theme (and reinforced it even after he died, such as when Paul did his salute when he was about to fight Jamis) for maximum emotional impact: so that when his ghola returns in Dune Messiah, we all weep like the soft lil creatures we are.

I can't wait.

[cepheustarot]

Will you achieve your goal? What needs to be done to achieve it?

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur. You build your own life and destiny.

Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.

Pile 1: you will achieve the goal, and here I see people who have a common goal with someone, or are connected with people, with a certain person. People can also help you achieve your goal. As I see it, here some may have lost their way, find themselves in a dead end situation and the actions you are taking to resolve this situation do not help. You are in search of a solution, come up with new strategies, new plans, try to look at everything from different angles, objectively assess your situation. The cards say that in order to move on, you need to abandon the old strategy, actions that you already do out of habit or automatically and try something new for yourself. Here i am talking about the fact that you need to try something that at first glance you would consider unsuitable for yourself, like: "this is strange, not in my style, I would think about this last turn", in general, try something new, unusual for you, to go beyond the usual, that's what I mean. And just people can help you take the first steps towards discovering something new and unusual. I thought it necessary to pull card with advice for you, it says: give yourself a second chance. Perhaps you have already tried something before, but it didn't work out, so it's worth going back to it again and trying again. I understand that my explanations may sound very vague, but the tarot readings are common to everyone and I try to describe it in such a way that it fits at least most of the options. In any case, I believe in you and that you will cope and achieve success!

Pile 2: you will achieve the goal, I see that you are determined to achieve your goal. you yourself possess such qualities as intelligence, insight, accept any challengs, you are one of those whom competition and rivalry motivates, sets up to reach heights, to be better than others, than everyone else. And you need to continue to maintain this attitude in order to achieve what you want. But be careful, do not be arrogant, because competitors can get ahead of you and because of this you will fall into complete despondency, the desire to do something will disappear, you give up. It is also possible that you are a workaholic who work day and night, you do not know what rest is and therefore often burn out, which then results in apathy. But if you have already lost your attitude and are in a pessimistic state, then you should remember why you did not give up earlier, which helped you move on. remember what you have already achieved and remember that your condition is not eternal, it will pass. You will definitely achieve what you want, believe in yourself.

Pile 3: You will not reach the goal, there is a chance that the goal that you have now seems no longer relevant and you will change it to something that suits you more at this time. I took out the cards to clarify why you will not achieve the goal, and here I see that many people have this goal associated with close people with whom you have made plans. Maybe you are now going through a breakup, divorce, loss of a person, or you are disappointed in a person and do not want to have anything to do with him anymore, because you saw his other side, saw that he lied to you, did not keep promises or something like that. You could also have a misunderstanding that is difficult to resolve, because you and your interlocutor are very stubborn and cannot find a compromise. Also, someone may have a division of things, money, property, etc. by inheritance, and perhaps you did not get what you expected or did not get anything at all, although you were promised a lot. Here we can also talk about business, for example, an unsuccessful transaction took place or your investments in something did not pay off and competitors pushed you out, ahead of you. In fact, all these failures will end and what you have lost will return to you many times better, more, so try not to hang up your nose. I am sure that everything will get better in your life and you will cope with everything, you are stronger than you think.

Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback <3

[lilislegacy]

The real question is: who would ✨you ✨ be the most scared of if they were coming towards you angrily?

honestly i’d be freaking terrified of all of them. they’re all terrifying and any of them are valid choices.

but for me personally, percy. without a doubt. and here’s why

reyna, i’d be terrified, but i also feel like she wouldn’t waste any more of her time on me than she needs to. she’s got shit to do. she might slam me against a wall and call me some roman insult, maybe break my wrist or something, but i’ll live.

annabeth is very scary, but she also is a logical and level headed person. if she knew i didn’t mean to do whatever she’s mad about, she’s not gonna judo flip me or stab me. i think more than anything i’d just feel really bad about myself cause she’d lay it on thick about how stupid i’d been. but i def wouldn’t go anywhere near her anytime soon

nico is very powerful and very creepy scary, but he gets worked up so easily. and then never handles it well himself. i’m kinda just used to seeing him mad to be hoenst. he also gets drained so easily, it would take a LOT of his energy to do something really bad. so he’s probably by 2nd biggest worry, but i know hurting me would hurt him too, so he’d think carefully about it.

jason i’m not that scared of tbh. not becasue he’s not powerful, but becasue it usually takes a lot for him to actually, like, do something worth being terrified. he’s calm and level headed. he has to build up to deadly-level actions, it doesn’t just happen.

percy jackson however… he’s too powerful for his own good. he’s the most powerful AND the least in control of his power. the worst mix possible.

first off, we know his “however bad you are, i’m worse” wolf glare is terrifying. when percy glared at leo in MoA, leo was shaking, and said percy’s look felt the same as when jason summoned lighting.

let that sink in.

a single look from percy feels just as dangerous as the son of zeus summoning an ear-piercing, earth shaking lightning bolt. like… HELLO?? i’d throw up and pass out the second he glared at me.

but also, when percy’s mad, water reacts before he does. toilets explode, geysers shoot up out of nowhere, oceans and lakes form 100 foot tall deadly waves, hurricanes dominate, need i go on?that’s not even including the most brutal stuff he’s done. and the most terrifying part: he does a lot of this without even thinking. they are all aquatic and earthly reactions to his emotions. there’s a certain uncontrolled brutality to percy that none of the others possess. the sea cannot be controlled.

so if the others are mad, yes i am very, very scared about what any of them might do on purpose. but with percy, i am most scared of him because he’s an untamable powerhouse, and his emotions unchecked might kill me on accident.

[chairteeth]

"Nemu's Buddhist Self-Flagellation"

So it’s been driving me nuts for years that Nemu has so many religious undertones, yet I hadn’t really taken a closer look to figure out with 100% certainty which religion it was. The tie was between Shinto, Buddhism, and Christianity. I’ve always been more partial to Buddhism, but I had to check. LO AND BEHOLD, AFTER CHECKING, THE IDIOT IS BUDDHIST. And that explains so much! And now I need to talk about it. I’ll dedicate a small section at the very bottom separate from the rest (for spoilers from later in Arc 2) to Rabi because it’s crunchy, but most of this essay might honestly be “so this is Buddhism 101” followed by “this is how it applies to Nemu and conditions her character”. Here's the same thing done for Mikoto!

I’ll be explaining concepts of Japanese Buddhism from scratch as well as exactly how they apply to the character, so don’t worry if you don’t know much about it! Note, however, that while I am not Buddhist myself, my research did come from Buddhist sources (both in text form and in the form of, well, People).

You see, as per the Agency for Cultural Affairs Religious Yearbook (I checked years 2011-2023 to account for fluctuation and the general trend of religious decline), roughly 65-70% of the population of Japan is Buddhist and/or Shintoist. The two overlap often so there’s no use trying to categorize people as strictly one or the other. If I must quote the data on Wikipedia for an easier, non-Japanese source (that is also sourced from the Japanese report):

Population figures from the Agency for Cultural Affairs Religious Yearbook 2019, as of the end of 2018, are as follows: - Shinto: 80,219,808 (63.4%) - Buddhism: 91,336,539 (72.2%) - Christianity: 1,921,484 (1.5%) - Other: 7,851,545 (6.2%) Percentages calculated using the official total population figure of 126,435,000 as of the end of 2018.

What I mean to say by this is that Buddhism (as well as Shinto, obviously) has had and still has a significant impact on Japanese culture, way of life, etc. Now, for example, we know Mikoto was raised Buddhist, we know Ryoko is Buddhist, and we know the school everyone goes to in Sankyo Ward is a Buddhist school, but in Japanese media, they often strive for a more secular approach. Plus, especially when it comes to religions like Buddhism, most of the time, unless a character is very devoted to their religion or it’s a character trait the story/writers highlight, you won’t quite notice the signs that they’re religious, and yet chances are they are. 

In Nemu’s case, I looked into the way she speaks about certain topics and the words she uses, mainly. For this purpose, I scanned through the entire Japanese script of multiple stories including all of Arc 1. I don’t want to bog this down with too many examples, but I will give you one main indisputable example and mention a few other relevant things later for the actual character analysis. The example in question is simple. Nemu specifically uses the word for Avici (無間) to mean Hell a minimum of two times. That is a very specific word to use, because that my friends is the eighth and most painful of the eight hot hells in Buddhism, the hell of uninterrupted suffering, the deepest level reserved for the worst of the worst! (Nemu’s mental health is doing great why do you ask.) She also uses a word that most often refers to the Naraka realm which contains the sixteen hells of Buddhism (地獄, though this word can also refer to Christian Hell and general hell), when she’s referring to the underworld. 

To double down on one of the instances where Nemu uses the word for Avici, I will be very specific and just quote the girl directly. As we know by now, during Arc 1 Chapter 10 Episode 4, Nemu had this fun thing she decided to do where she fully intended to sacrifice herself, and she made a whole death speech, right? Here’s the death speech:

Perhaps this is enough to redeem me. Perhaps with this… I can be forgiven. But if my crime cannot be repaid through any means, I accept the infinite pyres of hell. It may take 349 eons for me to earn mercy, but if I have the story of my wish to now... Even hell's trials will be a blissful dream.

“Perhaps this is enough to redeem me. Perhaps with this… I can be forgiven.” -> Buddhist concept of karma, good actions that ease suffering and cause happiness grant good karma, bad actions that cause suffering grant bad karma. The former decreases the latter.

“But if my crime cannot be repaid through any means, I accept the infinite pyres of hell.” -> This is when the word for Avici is used, and Avici specifically is described in Japanese Buddhist texts as “a vast, fiery realm with immense walls and gates” (kinda similar to Christian Hell in this sense), hence pyres.

“It may take 349 eons for me to earn mercy, but if I have the story of my wish to now... Even hell's trials will be a blissful dream.” -> In Buddhism, unlike in, say, Christianity, wherever you are sentenced to go is never eternal. The duration of a being’s stay in Avici is said to be incredibly long, sometimes described as eons or countless lifetimes. But regardless, the cycle of rebirth continues, and eventually, a being might be reborn into a different realm based on their karma. That is what she means by this, she’s not being dramatic, she’s being rather literal. Oh and for funsies, the various forms of torture people in Avici are subjected to include but are not limited to: being burned, crushed, and dismembered. These torments are not fatal, and people are continuously “revived” to experience the suffering all over again.

As for why Nemu thinks she deserves that, very simple! See, Avici basically represents the ultimate consequence of negative karma. Nemu as a Magius committed several offenses considered extremely serious in Buddhism, which were murder and lying. Maybe three if we count theft…? I am unsure if she would count any of what she did as theft. I’m assuming she is focused on the murder and most importantly the lying and general manipulation of the Feathers (likely made worse by Uwasa shenanigans). Other offenses that can lead to Avici are parricide and slandering the dharma, but those do not apply here.

The Buddhist perspective on Nemu also makes a few other things make more sense than they did before, and it brings up some interesting possibilities, but alas, I must now take a little break from being character-specific to give you a rundown on some bare basics of Buddhism. This is not exhaustive by any means.

Modern Buddhism as per its renewal during the Taisho Era is a lot more about ethical and social teachings, and if you so choose, scholarly pursuit. They put a lot of emphasis on morality, good and bad actions, karma, atonement, etc., and they did (and afaik still do) lots of social justice activism stuff. One should not conflate Western vs Eastern religions, because most of the time, there is no real equivalent between concepts, or at least, it doesn’t match closely enough. Let me explain the main branches of Buddhism a little for clarity first:

My assumption is that a majority of readers will be either Christian/other Abrahamic religion or irreligious (likely raised Abrahamic). So I’ll use Christianity to introduce this part. Christianity has many denominations like Catholic, Protestant, etc., each with its own specific doctrines and practices. Denominations typically imply a more centralized structure and a set of shared beliefs that differentiate them from other denominations within the same religion. Japanese Buddhism, however, is a broader term that refers to the various Buddhist schools and traditions that have taken root and developed in Japan. It encompasses diverse schools with varying interpretations and practices, existing under the broader umbrella of Mahayana Buddhism, which is a broader tradition and emphasizes the bodhisattva ideal (I will define what this is later) and the possibility of enlightenment for all beings. The other main branch of Buddhism is Theravada, which is not prominent in Japan and emphasizes individual enlightenment through strict adherence to the Buddha’s teachings. Therefore, in this sense, Japanese Buddhism is more like a regional expression of Mahayana Buddhism, distinct enough not to be called by the same name and with unique characteristics for its various schools of thought—which themselves may have local variations—while the core foundation remains the same. From now on, assume that different schools of thought may emphasize different aspects of the religion and different parts of it, and we have no way of knowing which specific school of thought any character belongs to.

Now, time to cover some core concepts. I want you to keep three characters in mind while we look at this, and those characters are Nemu, Rabi, and Mikoto. First of all, in honor of how they are traditionally believed to be the first teachings of the Buddha, we have the Four Noble Truths. They diagnose the human condition as suffering (dukkha) and offer a path of liberation from it. The truths in question are, in simple terms:

Suffering exists

Suffering has a cause (craving and attachment)

Suffering can be ended

There is a path to end suffering (the Eightfold Path)

We will get to the Eightfold Path in a second. Another core concept is the Three Jewels, which are the guiding principles of Buddhism:

Buddha, the historical founder (his actual name was Siddhartha Gautama) who achieved enlightenment and showed the path for others

Dharma, which are the teachings of the Buddha, including the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path

Sangha, which is the Buddhist community that provides support and guidance on the path to enlightenment

Something you may have heard often in relation to Buddhism is the word karma and the concept of rebirth. Let me explain this a little more. Those are core beliefs as well, and normally some of the most important to laypeople in the modern day. It’s very simple: actions and intentions (karma) determine the quality of one’s next life in the cycle of rebirth (samsara). The goal is to escape this cycle and achieve enlightenment/nirvana, that’s what they call breaking free from the cycle of suffering and achieving a state of perfect wisdom and liberation. That is one of the two goals of Buddhism, while the other is simply helping others. In ordained groups, this “helping others” often manifests as either activism or working towards the enlightenment of all beings, it’s about the bodhisattva ideal again. Before I define what that is, let me keep talking about karma for a second.

Karma is strictly different from what Christianity calls sin, though in translations people will often go for “sin” because the concept of sin is better understood in the West than the concept of karma. Karma is literally considered a natural law, exactly like gravity. And no one entity applies gravity, do they? The same way that gravity doesn’t have morals attached, doesn’t need to be administered by a mighty god and can produce suffering in some cases and happiness in others, karma doesn’t have morals attached, doesn’t need to be administered by a mighty god and can produce suffering in some cases and happiness in others, since it can be positive or negative. The aren't any real “sins” in Buddhism as we define them in the West, because karma is not a moral system. The actions that are classified as “bad” are classified as such because they will bring more suffering to yourself and/or others. Karma simply says that there are some actions that cause happiness and peace for yourself and/or others, and others that do the opposite. If you stick to the former and not the latter, you will be happier. Because of how sins work in the West (due to, yes, the institutions that run our religions), some folks are tempted to think that if they aren’t caught stealing or harming others or whatever, they will not suffer. But, karma is a natural law and as any other natural law is therefore infallible. By those actions you have planted a seed in your mind that will ripen as suffering when the right circumstances arrive. Even if it takes until after you die.

On this note, in Arc 2 Chapter 1, when Yuna threatened to, in essence and I think literally, split Touka’s skull with her kanabo, Nemu was resigned. She didn’t react, all she said, specifically, is “I suppose that’s karma (因果応報)”. The resignation is because karma is a law of nature. It cannot be avoided. This also puts Touka and Nemu’s self-destructive attempts at atonement in a completely different light. It’s not just remorse. Yes, that’s part of it, and probably the majority of it on Touka’s side, but on Nemu’s? Punishment is inevitable, so they might as well take the bulk of their punishment into their own hands (something something issues with control). Besides, as we saw in Christmas String, both girls believe themselves to be bad by nature, unable to help others or be kind no matter what they do, and Nemu in her hospital clothes costume story, towards the end, also says that being with Ui highlights just how twisted/bitter/perverse she herself is (the line is 自分がどれだけ捻くれてるか 本当に自覚させ���れるけど). Touka and Nemu do not for a second believe they are capable of accruing good karma, and especially not enough to cancel out all of their bad karma from the Magius era. They’re wrong, obviously, we know that, but they’re just little traumatized babies so we forgive them for being a little bit stupid. Particularly funny with how all of Christmas String was them doing good deeds, most of it of their own free will for a pair of children they didn’t even know at all. But I digress.

Since I mentioned the bodhisattva ideal again earlier, now’s a good time to define what that is. For this paragraph, keep Iroha and Ui in mind. A bodhisattva is a being who has vowed to achieve enlightenment and is perfectly capable of it, but chooses to remain in the cycle of rebirth to help others reach enlightenment as well. They are motivated by immense compassion (called karuna) for all sentient beings, and they are defined by selfless service. Their goal isn’t personal liberation alone, but the liberation of all beings from suffering. Key practices and characteristics of theirs are qualities like generosity, morality, patience, effort, meditation, and wisdom, engaging in acts of kindness and service to benefit others, and using various methods to teach and guide others based on their needs and understanding. Buddhism’s compassion tenet in general is specified as compassion and understanding towards others and towards yourself. But yeah, I don’t think I have to explain why I said to keep Iroha and Ui in mind during this paragraph. I do find it crunchy when a Buddhist character sees another as “unreachable” and puts them on a pedestal because of how Buddha-like they are (embodying the virtues of Buddhism, the bodhisattva ideal).

Moving on, the Eightfold Path is a fundamental concept in Japanese Buddhism just like it is in all other forms of Buddhism. It outlines the path towards liberation from suffering as described in the Four Noble Truths. It’s traditionally divided into three categories:

Wisdom, which refers to developing right understanding and right thought

Ethical conduct, which refers to practicing right speech, right action, and right livelihood

Mental discipline, which refers to cultivating right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration

The reason it’s called the Eightfold Path is because it has Eight Practices, which are as follows:

Right View, which means having a clear understanding of the Four Noble Truths and the nature of reality

Right Thought, which means cultivating wholesome thoughts free from greed, hatred, and delusion

Right Speech, which means speaking truthfully, kindly, and avoiding gossip or harmful speech

Right Action, which means acting ethically and non-violently, respecting all living beings

Right Livelihood, which means earning a living through honest means that do not harm others

Right Effort, which means putting in the effort to cultivate positive qualities and overcome negative ones

Right Mindfulness, which means being fully aware of the present moment, your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations without judgment

Right Concentration, which means developing a state of focused and clear mind through meditation practices

The Eightfold Path is also not a linear progression, but rather a set of interconnected practices that support each other.  By cultivating these practices, individuals can gradually progress on the path to enlightenment, or at least that’s what is taught. As a result of the Eightfold Path, common core practices include meditation, ethical conduct, and compassion. Meditation serves to develop mindfulness, focus, and inner peace, though practiced more among the ordained population. The ones most practiced and most highlighted among the laypeople are ethical conduct, which is just following moral principles like non-violence (ahimsa), truthfulness, and simply Not Stealing, and compassion, which is just about empathy and understanding for all living beings.

Let me be clear, there are precepts of behavior in Buddhism and things that are seen as bad/frowned upon for them. Generally, they all cause suffering, except for intoxicants, which attempt to flee from suffering (which doesn’t lead anywhere good, according to Buddhists). It’s stuff like no intentional murder (especially your mother and father), no stealing, no lies, no intoxicants, no sensual misconduct (such as rape or adultery). This last thing is sometimes translated as “no sex at all” due to how prevalent that kind of doctrine is in Abrahamic religions, despite the fact that it’s only in some Buddhist traditions, particularly Theravada Buddhism, that monks and nuns specifically take vows of celibacy as part of their monastic commitment so they can focus entirely on their spiritual practice and detachment from worldly desires. Laypeople from either branch don’t, and neither do monastics of the Mahayana branch, which is the umbrella Japanese Buddhism falls under. The only thing about it is that since the focus of Buddhism for practicing laypeople is on ethical conduct, practicing faithfulness within a relationship and making sure that relationship is healthy is hugely important.

Neeeeext up, the kleshas (煩悩). The kleshas are important and often translated as mental defilements, poisons, or afflictions. In essence, they represent the Unwholesome Mental States that cause suffering and hinder us from achieving enlightenment. A lot of the main kleshas match up with the Christian concept of the Seven Deadly Sins, but again, they are treated more as weeds in a garden and something you have to work through than “Oh You Are BAD Because You Did A Bad!!!”. Buddhism teaches that kleshas are not permanent fixtures in our minds, and so with effort and practice, they can be weeded out. Understanding the kleshas just helps us identify the root causes of our suffering, and by recognizing these Mental Defilements:tm:, we can work on purifying our minds and cultivating positive qualities like compassion and wisdom. The Buddhist practices I’ve mentioned (like meditation) are, in theory, designed to help us overcome the kleshas and achieve a state of inner peace and clarity. The kleshas are bad because they prevent us from experiencing true peace and happiness, which is what the Buddhist teachings are trying to help with.

Interestingly, you know what’s considered a klesha? Ignorance. Ignorance (or delusion), described as a lack of understanding about the true nature of reality, leads to confusion and making poor choices, hence why it’s counted as a klesha. To touch on the ones that match the Seven Deadly Sins for a few examples, envy is defined as resentment towards someone else���s good fortune, which creates negativity and dissatisfaction in yourself. Arrogance (pride) is defined as an inflated sense of self-importance, which causes disconnection from others. Feeling rage (wrath) and the like causes us to lash out or become bitter. Hatred can cause us to act in harmful ways and damage our relationships, not to mention the number it does on our own emotional energy. You see how this works, right? Buddhism isn’t telling you that you’re bad for having human thoughts and emotions and you’re going to BURN unless you pray really hard, it’s gently putting a hand on your shoulder and telling you, hey, you’re hurting yourself, let’s try to help you. However, it does put the responsibility of improving yourself right on your shoulders. That’s your job. Be better. Which… can be hard. Particularly if you’re convinced you can’t do that.

Another commonish concept in Japanese Buddhism is that of honne (本音) and tatemae (建前). It’s about the duality of inner thoughts (honne) and outward expressions (tatemae) in Japanese culture. While not strictly a Buddhist concept, it resonates with Buddhist teachings on impermanence and the constructed nature of reality, and I figure it’s especially relevant in a society that is so high context and polite (and, hey do not externalize your problems or cause trouble for The Collective okay?). The characters to think about here are Nemu with repressed bitterness and anger, and Mikoto with very outwardly expressed bitterness and anger. Mikoto is obvious, and because she was obvious, she got attention. I won’t speak too much about her because someone else is preparing to do so. Nemu, however, internalizes all of her problems and emotions, mostly for people pleasing reasons, as I explained in my other essays, but this is most likely affected by her religious leanings. The scholarly side of Buddhism fits Nemu particularly well.

As an aside before I tell you about Buddhist cosmology, let me explain a little something. If Nemu is a Buddhist, why did she do everything she did as a Magius? Simple. “The good this will do and the happiness I’ll bring to all Magical Girls in the present and the future will outweigh the bad” and if you think about it, becoming a witch means you are doomed to wander in eternal suffering which goes against everything Buddhism stands for. So, in light of that worst case scenario that isn’t even acknowledged by greater society, Nemu will make the sacrifice for the good of the many, to save them. She wants to save magical girls so bad, for both selfish and selfless (+religious) reasons. She was thinking the same way we saw her think in Arc 1 Chapter 10 Episode 4, which was “if I make this great big sacrifice for the sake of good, maybe I’ll be forgiven”. Much like part of why she minimizes her own pain so much is because of the Four Noble Truths telling her that suffering is everywhere and that being alive is suffering—further supported by her being terminally ill and hospitalized for presumably her entire childhood (since her brother acts like she’s a complete stranger), which is not exactly conducive to optimism or to seeing the love and light in the world.

Another extra note on Nemu’s philosophy that is sort of unrelated to the rest of the essay but I had to put it somewhere: Japanese culture is also influenced by Confucianism, which emphasizes filial piety (respect for parents) and respect for teachers. These concepts unfortunately might blend with Buddhist principles in parent-child and mentor-pupil relationships. That and the people pleasing are two of the big reasons Nemu acts the way she does with her family, her parents in particular. She feels the weight of a perceived duty to one’s parents and family, and she doesn’t think she can criticize her parents even when she’s frustrated and/or angry about their behavior, not even behind their backs. Since before she shared a room with Touka and Ui, she most likely spent almost all of her time reading, she most definitely clings to the concept of filial piety as a sort of behavioral guide in her desperation to be loved by her parents. Imagine her alone in the dark, bedridden and in pain, after lights out, crying quietly on the pages of a book about Confucian philosophy and thinking about this, starved for affection and so confused as to why it’s not working. The answer has to be that she’s a burden. Her medical bills, sending her clothes, visiting her, all of it is a burden to her parents. She tries to be as out of the way as possible, as helpful as possible, in hopes of making up for it.

*COUGH* Anyway. Japanese Buddhist cosmology adopts the core ideas of general Buddhist cosmology, but incorporates some unique elements influenced by Shinto beliefs, as you might imagine. For example, for the afterlife journey, the Sanzu River is uniquely important in Japan. It’s usually symbolic (and you can think of it as similar to the Styx in Greek religion), and it’s what separates the world of the living from the afterlife. The difficulty of crossing (calm bridge, rough ford, treacherous shoals) reflects the severity of the deceased’s karma. Based on a being’s karma, they are judged and reborn into one of the six realms, where they will stay temporarily until their karma returns to zero (upon which they will be reborn again into a different realm, as far as I understand).

“Nahi, what do you mean by realm?” Ah! Let me explain. In Buddhism, there are six realms we can exist in. The Six Realms of Existence are:

Deva realm (Heavens), a realm of pleasure and happiness, but temporary as beings' karma depletes.

Asura realm, a realm of jealousy and conflict, where beings constantly compete for power and resources

Human realm, the realm of ordinary humans, characterized by suffering, impermanence, and the opportunity for spiritual growth

Animal realm, a realm of suffering and limited consciousness, where beings are at the mercy of their instincts and predators

Preta realm, a realm of insatiable hunger and thirst, where beings cannot find sustenance

Naraka realm (Hells), basically the realm of intense suffering caused by negative karma

Of course, when a being is sentenced to one of these realms after death, its stay there is never permanent. Japanese Buddhism adheres to the concept of eight hot hells and eight cold hells within the Naraka realm. Each of the hells might be further subdivided into even more specific hells with unique punishments. The eight hot hells are characterized by intense heat, fire, and torture. Pretty similar to most depictions of Christian Hell in that sense. The severity of punishment increases as you descend deeper (something something Divine Comedy). I am unsure if they have actual English names, my source was Japanese, I tried my best here. The eight hot hells are as follows:

Burning Hell (焦熱地獄): sinners are tormented in a blazing inferno

Hell of Black Ropes (黒縄地獄): souls are bound with black ropes and sliced with burning blades

Crushing Hell (衆合地獄): beings are crushed by immense boulders or pressed together in a confined space

Screaming Hell (叫喚地獄): souls endure excruciating pain that forces them to scream incessantly

Great Screaming Hell (大叫喚地獄): even worse than the previous one, with even more intense pain and screaming

Iron Pot Hell (極楽地獄): souls are boiled alive in giant iron cauldrons

Changing Hell (正変地獄): sinners experience constant transformations into different tortured forms

Unremitting Hell (無間地獄): the deepest and most severe hell, with relentless suffering without respite

This last one is Avici, Nemu’s preferred destination apparently. As for the eight cold hells, they are characterized by extreme cold and icy torment. And I give up on trying to translate their names, so here they are:

Hell of Arbuda (鞕抜地獄): souls experience excruciating pain as their bodies develop chilblains that burst open

Hell of Nirarbuda (鞕抜地獄): a continuation of the previous hell, where the chilblains worsen and constantly burst

Hell of Atata (閊陀地獄): souls shiver uncontrollably in the intense cold

Hell of Hahava (臛臛婆地獄): sinners lament in the cold, making "haa" sounds due to the pain

Hell of Huhuva (虎虎婆地獄): souls chatter their teeth uncontrollably due to the extreme cold (yes I know this sounds similar to Atata)

Hell of Utpala (鬱波羅地獄): the intense cold turns the skin blue, resembling a blue lotus flower

Hell of Padma (鉢特摩地獄): blizzards crack open frozen skin, revealing raw and bloody flesh

Hell of Mahapadma (摩訶鉢特摩地獄): the entire body cracks open due to the intense cold, exposing the internal organs

Alina would love some of these. I’m sure she does. But, yes, that rundown was mostly to show you that there are many, many words for Hell that a Buddhist can use, and Nemu specifically used the abbreviation for Avici (無間). So as far as I’m concerned, that and the few other subtler things point towards her being a Buddhist, and it makes for a more interesting interpretation of the character. Nemu has so much trauma and as it turns out, part of it has a religious flavor. Lovely!

To end this off on a positive note, I have this thought for you. Touka and Nemu's final state as Uwasa Queens technically counts as nirvana, enlightenment. They made a selfless sacrifice, let go of all worldly attachments, escaped the cycle of rebirth (since I do not think an uwasa is part of that?). They are at their wisest and kindest, at their best in all ways and are also doing good, honest work and making an effort for the happiness of others. It may not look like the traditional way of achieving nirvana, but... It is definitely their nirvana.

I will write one last very brief section about Rabi, but the essay/lecture has pretty much come to an end here.

Rabi’s entire status of resignation reminds me a lot of Nemu’s. Rabi is resigned to suffer and keeps advancing the hand on her watch and doomposting, despite the fact that it is entirely her choice to do that. In the uh… I hesitate to call it “grand finale of Folklore’s arc” near the end of Arc 2, what she wants to do is end all magical girls to ease suffering. It’s very Buddhist. That’s all.

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Ok a rant about Cerri bomb and how much I HATE her

In the addict music video she was a very supportive friend of Angel and I loved her in the pilot! I wish we got that supportive best friend to Angel in the final product, but unfortunately she is a woman in a vivziepop show.

She’s AWFUL now I can’t stand her, the way she tried to make Angel relapse was so weird like pilot cherri wouldn’t do that! I also really dislike her design it has to be one of my personal least favourites (not the bottom though nothing is worse than alastors design to me) she isn’t enjoyable to watch anymore she had potential if she’d only been introduced earlier! Imagine if she was introduced in episode 4 and played the supportive friend she was originally supposed to be!

And GOD I hate her ship with pentious, it was SO RUSHED, so poorly done and the ship isn’t very “so cute and in love!!” When you remember she showed literally NO interest in him until Angel brought up that he has 2 dicks, and this is supposed to be a romantic relationship we CARE about.

Cherri didn’t need a romantic relationship she needed CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT we needed to get to know her! If you’ve only seen the show and no other Hazbin media at all (which shouldn’t be required you should be able to get all your info FROM THE SHOW) you’d barely know anything about her character or who she is. I wish we got pilot cherri bomb, and that she got a design update, and that her and pent’s relationship was either taken slower or didn’t happen at all

You silly little creature you, you have me writing in my notes app instead of Tumblr because I’m about to go crazy!

Cherri Bomb. More like Cherri what the hell happened

Anyway I’m gonna tackle this one thing at a time, and also forgive me if I word something weird I just woke up an hour ago at the time of writing this.

First thing, design: I personally quite like her design since it very loosely reminds me of Iris from Ruby Gloom with ofc the one eye, the very rowdy personality and kind of the hair, but those are very broad design choices and its just me remembering some random girl I thought was silly but like Iris did it better.

Okay now second thing and then we go into literally everything else: My blog has been an angry pit of despair for everything in Episode 6 as of recent so let’s tap into that again 🤏 just a little. I am going to give my classic centrist opinion and say I don’t mind Cherri Bomb all that much but I absolutely get why people dislike her, and I mean this in the kinda way as people who dislike… Idk Fukuchi from BSD. WILD jump in fandoms but gimme a second. I can’t 100% say that Cherri Bomb in the pilot was better than the series since we have no idea if maybe for some reason she was intended to be like that offscreen, but judging by the pilot and “Addict” alone, it’s very unlikely. I could see her maybe being a bad influence at times and being like “Loosen up dude we’re in hell and its Friday” or something (idk if they have Friday in hell but everyday is probably Monday 🥁) but overall I feel like she’d end up apologising for it. However on the other side of things, I can understand why Cherri did that in Episode 6. Of course not to say this is okay, but Cherri is still very clearly not in the “redemption” mindset. She’s happy the way she is and is really only focused on certain aspects of issues. We see her comfort Angel in “Addict” but thats basically the extent of it. Cherri’s definition of “self-care” seems to be less of actually taking care of yourself and more like just letting go and having fun instead which really only gives a momentary fix to the issue, much like how substances can be abused. Do you kinda see what im getting at? Cherri offering Angel drugs while he’s trying not to relapse is not okay, full stop. But her reasoning as to why makes a bit of sense for her purpose in the show which is honestly not much, since, as you said, she is a woman in a Vivziepop show.

To my knowledge Cherri is like 30-ish years younger than Angel Dust in Hell experience so she’s likely not reached a point where she’s gotten tired of how things work, as well as the fact we don’t really have much of an idea on her backstory aside from that random shot in “Addict” of that guy in a puddle??? But generally she seems to be in a better position than Angel is, so there isn’t really any reason for her to want to change, yknow? I will say I do like exploring characters that are good friends while still being bad influences at times, but I’m going to be honest I feel like thats really not what Angel needs right now. I wouldn’t be as pissy about it if she did end up apologising afterwards (I’m just gonna headcanon she did for my sanity) but even then as Angel’s friend we don’t know like… anything about her. I would’ve really liked to get some kind of callback to the pilot where Cherri mentions she thought Angel was dead until the random Sir Pentious turf war, and maybe we could see her actually being worried about Angel again instead of those 3 frames in “Addict”, but Hazbin is rushed and I guess we don’t have time for that. And also YES it would’ve been great to see her in Episode 4 and actually doing something but again, Vivziepop is boring.

Going forward I would really like to see Cherri, if not become a patron, at least try to be a better friend and sure if she wants to keep doing stuff she can keep doing it, but just don’t encourage other people to relapse. It is very simple.

SIR PENTIOUS! About Sir Pentious, this is going to be incredibly short. I don’t hate the ship but also I’m not really crazy about any of the Hazbin Hotel ships? I also don’t really hate any except for the genuinely horrid ones but thats basic sense. I absolutely agree with you, Cherri does not need a romantic interest. Romance doesn’t always = growth and growth should not always = romance. She needs some genuine character TLC and I hope to god she gets some in season 2. We’ve only seen a few minutes of her so I have yet to give a firm opinion, but as of now I’m just hoping they do something actually interesting with her instead of just alluding to Sir Pentious ship. Also the penis thing. 1. What was that, and 2. It made me and my friends briefly pause to sex Sir Pentious and come to the conclusion he is likely transgender/hj

TLDR; Please give us a fun Cherri Bomb again. ☹️

[matan4il]

Daily update post:

Yesterday, over 100 funerals were held in the small community of kibbutz Be'eri. Just one community. Hamas rockets were also fired yesterday at the kibbutz. We can't even bury our dead in peace.

At least 133 of the murdered were not Jewish. Yoseph Haddad, an Israeli Muslim Arab, gives his perspective:

This following pic is so on point for way too many people on Tumblr:

For the record, "It's wrong, but..." doesn't count as speaking out against the cold-blooded murder of Jews in their homes.

I'm writing about certain aspects less, but Israeli society has been FULL of beautiful gestures and acts of kindness. One example is a mother who had lost her only son to Hamas terrorists a few years ago, and who opened a free "supermarket" for Israelis running out of food and water, especially from among the evacuees. Another is a Bedouin family, who uploaded a video inviting anyone of the Jews who had been turned homeless to come and stay with them. These gestures from among the Israeli Arabs, Bedouins and Druze are the most beautiful ones to me. They're proof that we want and we CAN live here together, peacefully. Sadly, at least one such gesture was "punished." An Arab shop owner decided to donate 30 bicycles to Jewish kids from the south who had lost their homes. In retaliation, his shop was broken into, robbed, and then set on fire. What moves me the most is that even after that, he said he doesn't regret his decision, and will continue to contribute to Israeli society.

I want to say something about the warning that was given to Palestinians to evacuate the northern part of Gaza.

If Israel had started bombing that area with the intention of destroying Hamas facilities there, but without giving any warning, it would have killed a lot of civilians, and the reaction of the world would have been to decry Israeli actions. When Israel is giving them warning to move out, so that they're not killed in the bombings (and when they CAN return to their land once the fighting is done), Israel is still denounced, and I've seen people calling this by all sorts of horrendous terms (that don't actually apply). If Israel is being portrayed as evil whether we give a warning or not, what that means is that people are just not okay with Israel acting against Hamas in any capacity.

Except Israel doesn't actually have a choice. We tried to have one! That's what the border fence was for. We invested billions of shekels in building it. Money that could have gone to school, to hospitals, to rehabilitation programs, to all sorts of purposes that could have made Israeli society better, and save Israeli lives outside of the context of this conflict. Every Israeli patient whose life could have been saved if out medical system was better, for example, is one of the "invisible victims" of the conflict IMO. We spent so much money on the fence to stop Hamas, so that we wouldn't have to go into Gaza and fight to eliminate that organization. Such fighting would have ended in a loss of life for Israelis and for Gazans, so instead we built that fence. It was technologically the most advanced it could be. It still didn't stop Hamas. They built terror tunnels that brought them to the fence without being spotted on the surface, they had bombs that it seems they planted at the border during their "protests" near the fence, they had suicide drones that took out all of the electronic surveillance along the fence, leaving Israel "blind" as the infiltration of thousands of terrorists into its territory began, and they had intel on where the security forces are, to take them out first and leave the civilians vulnerable to rape, mutilation, kidnappings and murder.

In other words, there is no fence, there is no barrier that can stop Hamas. And without that, it's only a matter of time before carnage like this WILL happen again.

I am scared. For the families of the hostages, the thought of the fighting, where Israeli or Hamas fire might kill there loved ones, must be particularly difficult. Innocents will die on both sides when the ground action will start. That's always terrible, but for a country still counting and trying to identify its dead, that's a particularly gruesome truth. That we're sending some of our 18 year olds to die in order to keep the babies safe. Knowing that every one of these 18 year olds is somebody's baby. Every day, every hour that passes allows Hamas to dig in, to prepare and to lay traps for our soldiers. And yet the ground action has not started yet, because we want to give the Palestinians in the northern part of Gaza a chance to flee.

You can dislike the coming loss of life. We all do. I am shrinking with internal pain just thinking about it. But please stop painting the Israeli military reaction as if it's just a senseless revenge driven by blood lust. It's not. At least understand our perspective. To us, it's a fight for our lives. It's a fight for our lives that, no matter what, we will pay for with the lives of some of our loved ones.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[windvexer]

dear chicken, if its not too much trouble, could i ask for your advice on a situation that's troubling me a lot as of late? my spiritual practice has been suffering due to my being torn between so many different interests and areas of hyperfocus, and i'm unsure how to reconcile all the different things that i'm drawn to but are so culturally different. for example, i'm in love with traditional english folk magic/witchcraft, and have done a lot of research on the regional folklore of places my ancestors are from. at the same time, however, i'm also in love with orphism, and feel no greater contentment and purpose than when i dream about devoting myself to the greek gods. to say nothing about historical/cultural differences and potential disrespect (ancient greece having very different ideas on what constituted "witchcraft" and whether or not it was hubris, for example) i'm just not sure how to even go about reconciling how these would work together as part of a practice. genuinely, i feel distressed, stuck, and as if i am simultaneously letting down my ancestors /and/ those who historical practices i have put on a pedestal.

Hi, Anon.

Do you think it's possible that you might have very unrealistic standards for what it actually means to practice your faith?

Because, please forgive me if I'm wrong, but I have a sneaking suspicion that you might be making up a ton of rules for yourself.

Have your ancestors visited you and told you they would be disappointed in you if you practiced anything other than English folk magic? If so, why do you hold their opinions to be higher than your happiness? If so, what steps have you taken to reconcile your relationship with your ancestor and reach a place of mutual understanding so they won't be upset with you for doing what makes you happy?

Approximately one billion modern witches practice witchcraft and intentionally include the Greek gods in their witchcraft, or, have a faith centered around the Greek gods and practice witchcraft on the side. A Greek goddess has personally helped me with my witchcraft even though I'm not even a pagan.

Is there anything that makes you feel that you in particular would disrespect the gods by doing this, even though other people do it and it improves their relationship with the gods?

(I also just now remembered Hekate, isn't she like, the highkey Greek goddess of witchcraft? Why wouldn't she want you to both venerate the Greek gods and practice witchcraft?)

If the gods have told you that you can't practice folk magic without disrespecting them, what steps have you taken to understand why they have this special rule for you that they do not have for other people? Have they told you that this is temporary, or permanent? When you've offered solutions, what did they say?

And if these assholes are all banding up on you telling you that you can't do what makes you happy and weaponizing their disappointment to make you fall in line, why do you want to work with any of them at all? You deserve better.

But, Anon, I secretly suspect that none of that has happened. I suspect that you might have just made up a lot of rules for yourself and decided everyone will be mad at you unless you dedicate yourself to 1 thing and do it 100% perfectly.

I'm not saying that sometimes ancestors don't bully people into following a certain path, or that gods ask for very special levels of devotion once your relationship gets to a certain point. But I'm also not suspecting that this is the case for you.

It's just that, I dunno. To me it sounds like you're acting like any particular path you take is like locking yourself inside of a monastery to the exclusion of all else, like instead of starting out chill, you're wanting to start out as a devotee initiate ready to take lifelong vows.

Instead of just like, praying to Hermes to help with traffic and then later that week giving your ancestors a meal.

You're saying you don't know how this would look in practice, which makes me worry that you're trying to write a textbook about how to do your practice without ever actually having learned the material.

You can never know what it looks like before you do it.

You are not supposed to able to envision a complete, polished pathway before you put your hiking boots on.

You don't even need to be able to see around the first corner.

Toad charm to cure a cold, veil to limit Miasma. Pray to the ancestors, then to Zeus. I don't see the conflict. And if Apollo gets mad at you for doing your ancestral coffee grind readings because it isn't Greek enough for him, sort that out when it happens.

But wait until it happens before you worry about it.

[snowblack-charcoalwhite]

I've said it many times and I'll say it again. I don't understand why so many people claim that Aemond is somehow Ryan's favourite or even self insert. I guess it would be obvious now that he hates him as much as the rest of the greens, but some still insist on this. Like, here is the character that actually was one of the most popular in s1 despite the fact that he barely had any screentime and is tg, yet we are halfway through s2 and look what they've done with him?? 5 minutes of screentime, half of it the unnecessary brothel scenes to show him naked and to destroy his relationship with Aegon for good. Zero interactions with Alicent, Helaena, Otto...No reaction to Jaehaerys (but yes to luke).. And he's somehow Ryan's pet? Yeah, no. I think that Ryan is staunchly tb who loves Rhaenyra and Daemon (and Rhaenys) and just watch him give Daemyra an intense and emotional reunion to confirm Daemon's loyalty to her. All these harrenhal scenes are just devices to make the moment more impact full and to subvert expectations™, I'm 100% certain this will be the case. And what the greens got? Mutual hatred, a nonexistent cause, Aegon who still bullies and humiliates his brother and only sees him as a weapon, Aemond who tries to get rid of his brother in the middle of the battle and is completely detached from his family, Helaena who barely exists and don't even get me started on Alicent and Criston. Therefore, if Ryan, Hess or anyone in the writing team "loves" the greens, they sure have a strange way of showing that lmao.

Anyway, I would love to hear your opinion on this.

Hello!

To be honest, at this point I have trouble telling which HotD characters are actually loved by the writers. I am really tempted to say that none of them are because no writer treats a character they love like Condal&Co treat the majority of HotD folks, even TB ones, the supposed faves. Rhaenyra (post S1E5), the protagonist - meek and boring. Rhaenys a.k.a "the voice of wisdom" - a hypocritical woman (who is also basically a mass murderer). Daemon - I don't even know what to say about him, his characterization has been all over the place.

However, IMO we need to take into account two things: 1) HotD writers apparently have received a commission to create a show with a clear as day feminist agenda to regain the audience's favor lost after Daenerys business in S8 of GoT; 2) the most important - they are fucking incompetent, and so they could ruin the characters they "love" just as effortlessly as they do with those they "hate" (sometimes they even fail with the latter - because they are kind of supposed to ruin them but, once again, are incompetent).

So, I really don't know whether Condal and the rest of HotD team are ruining Aemond on purpose - or are just trying to legit create a compelling arc for him by presenting him as a bullied kid with a fuckton of issues who one day just snapped and fully went into a psycho killer mode. Both options are possible - and actually both of them might be true because (and here goes yet another HotD problem) it really feels like the writers who work on the show have trouble communicating and coordinating their ideas. One pushes for one thing, another - for another, and as a result we have characters who act like they get a personality/brain transplant every episode (Daemon and Alicent in S1 are the prime examples of that).

As for the "Aemond is Condal's self insert" -everything is possible. To comment on that properly I would have to get into speculations about the latter's personality and mental state, and I'd rather not do this. As much as I despise him, he is still a real person; and I am neither a psychologist nor a psychiatrist (neither do I know him personally), so it's not my place to do that.

Thank you for the ask!

[pttucker]

Aaaand we're done! \o/

Well... "done" in one sense of the word since I just did a very quick search and apparently there's like another 140 chapters of side stories and counting. Possibly post-epilogue stuff??? Didn't look too closely since I don't want too many spoilers if I can avoid it. I already saw one vague spoiler relating to 49% Dokja's side story. 😢😢😢

Though at least now with the main novel+epilogues finished all of the mysteries have been wrapped up (as far as I can remember).

I guess I'm still curious about the Library, but even if that's never touched upon in any side story chapters, I think I kinda get it with my theories and how he broke up into many, many different Dokjas and/or was two different Oldest Dreams?

Oh, and the stuff with Dokja & 1863's Sooyoung's blurry faces, I would have liked to have seen that resolved. There were mentions of Dokja slowly getting less blurry that were kinda glossed over but nothing concrete ever popped up for why his face was blurry or if/when it fully stopped being blurry? Unless I just missed some subtle thing?? Like I guess the epilogue did mention that Sooyoung had fun writing in stuff about him being the Ugly King but I don't think she made him ugly, that was just her memories of him?? Either way, poor Dokja. 😭

idk maybe I'm the only one obsessed with things like that. (I literally eventually started a separate section in my ORV Scrivener notes just for all the times Dokja's looks are mentioned in any way.) So maybe it just wasn't deemed important to "resolve"? Or, again, it was but I totally missed it.

Or maybe there's still something about the Library and his looks (and other mysteries I may not be currently remembering) in the additional 140+ chapters out there?

Unfortunately, English translations of Chapters 552+ don't all seem to be in one place, or at least I wasn't able to quickly find them in my first search. I'll keep looking, though. Might just have to cobble together the chapters one by one from various sources. If anyone happens to know where I could possibly find them...

Though I'm honestly not certain if I want to immediately jump into them or if I want to give it a moment to breathe. I actually am a little bit disappointed that I jumped right into the 40+ chapter epilogues right after finishing the main story since I feel like it stole some of the impact from him finding his two separate ■■.

Even if I was really happy to see how they continued living on in the system-less world and how Dokja felt after losing all of his companions to be Oldest Dream. Seriously you never get to see those sort of things after the "happy" ending.

And I did love seeing how it all tied back together with Sooyoung being the author and ORV itself being Dokja's story (which Sooyoung also wrote!) which in turn is our story and getting to see Secretive Plotter and the 999ths again and poor Joonghyuk just not knowing what to do with himself after losing his purpose as a protagonist and him and Sooyoung wanting to save their precious Dokja more than anything and both of them coming to understand Dokja better and so on and so forth.

But if nothing else, I do really want to finally read some fanfiction and otherwise engage with fandom now that the big mysteries are solved. And if I can make one final prediction it's going to be that the top fanfic is some kind of modern, no powers gamer AU or something. Because that's just how these fandoms seem to go. 😂

Anyway, I think it should be obvious from my many, many ORV posts but I really enjoyed the novel! I am very happy that so many things were so well foreshadowed, so much was so carefully planned, so many loose ends were tied up in a very satisfying manner, etc. It's very impressive for such a long, looooong story. I mean, just the fact that you could get inklings that something was up with Secretive Plotter before we even hit Chapter 100 yet not have the reveal come until much later is impressive just on its own.

I guess if I had one complaint it'd be that I didn't quite vibe with the whole "multiple walls to open the Final Wall" thing. Like, I totally was into the idea of Dokja's Fourth Wall being the largest fragment, and I actually thought that Jang Hayoung's wall was pretty clever since it's all about commenting/texting others when Jan Hayoung was created due to Dokja's comments.

But I'm not quite so into the Wall of Samsara and Wall That Divides Good and Evil. Like, I do get how they relate to the story, what with Dokja literally reincarnating into multiple worlds himself and the fact that a lot of Dokja's main theme was that he didn't nicely fit into a box of good or evil. I mean, his literal Modifiers are Demon King of Salvation and Watcher of Light and Darkness. Not to mention, Dokja went through a ton of the novel saying that just because they were evil in one turn doesn't mean they're evil in the next and vice versa, as well as the fact that the had companions on both sides of the spectrum.

So I'm not saying that they just came out of nowhere, but personally I find something to be a little off with them when compared to the other two walls? idk these are just my initial thoughts and I might feel completely different once I re-read the novel and can better appreciate things.

Which, speaking of, I'm debating with myself if I want to do the truly ridiculous thing and start this entire novel over right from the beginning in true Dokja fashion or if I want to be good and maybe give some other universe some love. I was looking at The World After The Fall but...uh...

Not to say that things with tiny fandoms aren't also good!!!

But it does make me kinda side-eye it a little and wonder if I shouldn't just read Solo Leveling...

...or read whatever side stories I can find, aaaaaalllllll the fanfic, and then read ORV all over again. 😂

We'll see.

FYI when I do start reacting to the side stories I think I'll use the tag "orv side story" if anyone wants to block it preemptively to avoid spoilers.

[inkykeiji]

Is it okay for me to take the 🌱 (sprout) emoji ? bc I will definitely be hanging around to ride this Sunday ship to the ends of the earth

Also also alsoooo since im already unhinged. Can you imagine the discussion when robin flies back home?? How she left two siblings and is now meeting this established MARRIED couple. I low key see Sunday in all his fanfare almost shading the siblings from each other. Like always supervising conversations and never leaving them quite alone. Bc listen he put in all this work to make you the most dutiful, satisfied and content wifey. And he loves robin yes, but she went off and made her life and he won’t let what he built at home crumble. So he sits there, smiling and comforting when robin tries to ask if youre happy and comfortable. And I imagine her getting frustrated when Sunday delves in to explain on your behalf that yes you are quite happy. And robin is just getting so frustrated and youre just smiling up at Sunday oblivious with nothing but admiration and I just. Phew. I have sooooooooo many thoughts about this man. Pls how he’s with you in bed??? Boy just the experience to tell 

absolutely bb of course you can!!! welcome to the anon club wooo 🥳🥳 hehe <3 i am v excited to have u here with me to scream over sunday!!! any sunday pieces i write will be posted over on @inkyajax! c:

tw: incest / pseudo-cest

oh robin is 100% like what the fuck sunday??? but in her polite, cordial robin terms :) it’s the absolute last thing she expects to arrive home to, and it sends her for a fucking loop initially, sputtering on her response the moment she hears her precious baby sister call their elder brother husband, quickly and efficiently choking out her surprise to be demure and discreet, just like her brother taught her. but then she takes a moment to truly reflect on it, meditating on the situation as she stares up at the glowing plaster stars still smattered across her childhood ceiling—didn’t sunday promise he’d finally have those removed?—and she can’t believe she didn’t see it coming sooner. 

she can’t believe it blindsided her. i mean, really, what more could she expect with sunday? he’s always been over-protective, over-possessive, and entirely overbearing with his need for complete control—thinly veiled ownership of his siblings. and, suddenly, robin feels immense guilt. she should’ve known better, should’ve tried harder to shield you from him, shouldn’t have turned a blind eye and gone off to selfishly chase her own dreams (and, oh, if she ever discloses these thoughts to sunday, you know he’ll agree with her, using her compassion and culpability as a weapon to hurt her more, to break her down and rearrange her views and opinions his way). 

as disgusted and disappointed as she is with her brother, robin still tries her best to keep the peace as best she can throughout these increasingly infuriating interactions, smiling and sweet even as she begins to spit certain words through clenched teeth, even as her body continues to coil with every instance of sunday cutting you off mid-sentence. 

it would be especially wise of sunday to mediate all communication between his two sisters, easily ensuring all interactions flow through him. he is, by all intents and purposes, a filter on you and your words. it’s hard for robin to trust what either of you say when you’re around each other. robin knows this, because sunday has done the same with her, several times throughout their life, overseeing her responses to reporters and fans alike. as such, you can bet your ass she’ll be attempting to devise some sort of plan to get you completely alone so she can interrogate you honestly and properly—now, whether she actually succeeds at that is another story entirely. 

what’s worse is the precedence sunday still rules over her with. sure, she can recognize this is wrong, and yes, she can feel as guilty and remorseful as she wants to, but can she resist sunday’s clever, covert manipulation? the same manipulation that she’s been eroded by, poisoned by, for her entire life? the same manipulation that has kept her unwittingly trapped beneath her brother’s thumb, tail feathers pinned under his nail? 

probably not. 

how effortless it would be for sunday to consistently and continuously chip away at robin’s resolve, at robin’s logic, to convince her that no, truly, this really is what’s best for their dear baby sister, sunday swears it. who better to take care of you, to nurture and love you, than your righteous older brother? who better to anticipate and fill your needs than your own flesh and blood, just as he always has, just as he always will? 

no one, that’s who. and robin knows this, deep down, too—sunday just has to ensure that she realizes it. 

please sprout don’t even get me started on sunday in bed i fucking black out at just the THOUGHT of that man fucking you ooohhh my god

[misquitz]

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(IMAGE COPYRIGHT)

I, the artist, retain full and exclusive rights to the original artwork. The client may not claim it as their own or use it for anything other than personal use.

All commissioned artwork is for noncommercial purpose only. Redistribution of my artwork for use in printed merchandise or as promotion of goods, services or social media pages is prohibited.

(Conditions for Reposting:)

The client has my permission to repost the artwork wherever they would like, as long as proper credit is given and my watermark/signature remains intact and unaltered.

(Prohibited Actions)

Altering my artwork in any way without asking for permission before hand, with the exception of cropping/resizing the image for an icon or other use.

Use my artwork as references for your own, whether tracing or re-purposing parts of the image.

Claiming the artwork as your own.

Altering or removing my watermark

If these terms are broken, you will be privately blacklisted from commissioning me and reported.

(PAYMENT INFORMATION)

I accept payment in USD. All payments will be taken via Paypal and CashApp.

It is the commissioner's responsibility to tell me when the payment has been sent.

(Refund Policy)

If the commission is cancelled (by me or the client) before work has started, then the client will receive a full refund.

If the client cancels the commission during progress, the amount refunded will be on a case-by-case basis and up to the artist’s discretion. I do have a rough basis for refunds:

Sketch: 90%

Line: 50%

Line and Color: 0%

No refunds will be given for completed or nearly completed commissions.

The artist reserves the right to cancel a commission at anytime, for any reason, and without explanation.

If I cancel the commission due to my inability to complete it at any state, a full refund will be given.

(CONTACT AND COMMUNICATION)

Discussion of commissions can be conducted via Instagram DM, Tumblr DM, email, or through Discord (misquitz # 7652 )

(Visual Reference Guidelines:)

Client must provide at least one clear and concise visual reference; please supplement the visual reference with any important information I may need to know to correctly draw the character.

If you link to a gallery of your character’s artwork, I cannot promise your design will be done with 100% accuracy. Design interpretations may be inconsistent between images and lessen my ability to accurately draw your character. Shading on potential pieces will also play a part in this.

I will not accept a description OC, meaning I will not work with no visual

(WILL/WON'T DRAW)

Please keep my art style in mind when ordering; I specialize in humans and chibi. Things outside my comfort zone might not be as high of quality as something I am used to doing (i.e. furries, animals, centaurs, backgrounds)

Will Do:

- Humans

- Furries

- MLP

- Chibi

- Couples

- Slight Gore

- Most NSFW

Won't Do:

- Mecha

- Full suits of Armor

- Religious Pieces

- Any sort of hateful content, such as racism, transphobia, homophobia, and characters with Nazi/Soviet/etc. imagery or paraphernalia.

(PROGRESS)

Completion of most commissions are generally estimated to finish around a few hours to a few days depending on my IRL schedule.

Works in Progress (WIPS): Certain commission types may or may not include a sketch approval stage. I will send any wips to the commissioner via DM or Discord Chat. Progress will be paused until the sketch is confirmed.

Revisions and edits:

If the commission type includes a sketch approval stage, any major changes or revisions must be made at this stage; this includes any significant changes to a character’s pose or body shape, or redrawing parts of the image.

After the sketch has been approved, no major edits or changes will be made. If the commissioner requests additional edits after the approved sketch, a price for the edits may be discussed.

If I, the artist, make any errors in the character design, accessories, or any other visual elements specified in the provided visual references, I will make these edits at no additional cost. (Max of 3 minor edits)

If you do not want me to post your commission online, you must tell me when you order.

If you want constant updates on the piece, please keep in mind that I have ADHD and tend to forget to take WIPs while I'm working.

[legrandepapillon]

wyllstarion | bloodpact nation, listen up! 📣

hello all, salut à tous!

it’s been awhile since i’ve been active on this blog, but i have a fun announcement for everyone. if you’re coming from twitter, this might be especially interesting to you! 🫶🏾

as you guys know, one of my new favorite ships is bloodblade/wyllstarion (Wyll Ravengard x Astarion Ancunín) from Baldur’s Gate III. i’ve been hyperfixating on them for awhile now, and i’m really letdown by how little slice of life fic we have for them. 

i would also really love to expand my writing skills perfect my craft as writer. i’ve neglected my writing muscles in recent years and i’m disappointed in a lot of the works i write now. 

because of this, i’ll be doing something that i haven’t done in literal years! i am opening my inbox for you to submit prompts for me to write. i will post the longer ones first on AO3, then here on tumblr, and finally link them on Twitter for all of my mutuals to find. 

the shorter drabbles i’ll post here on tumblr straight from the ask & link to them on twitter. if you’re reading this, my inbox is open & i’m currently taking requests. 

for the purposes of organization, i’ll only be accepting drabble prompts & requests here on tumblr though my inbox. my tumblr is linked on both my AO3 & Twitter accounts though, so it won’t be hard to find me. 

if you have a scenario that you you’ve been dying to put our boys in, you’ve come to the write place ( 😉 ). a few rules before popping over to the inbox, though!

as of right now, i’ll only be taking requests for the Baldur’s Gate fandom specifically for wyllstarion. however, if you like my writing style & want to see me try something for your ship, send the prompt over!! you might get a welcome surprised: i’m willing to try my hand at writing anything once. my one caveat is that i won’t be attempting to write anyone’s Tav/Durge outside of the canonical durge.

this is practice for me mainly!! prompts likely won’t be perfect or very long but they’ll give me something to do to hone my craft. don’t expect a soliloquy, and if you’re dissatisfied with the outcome of a prompt you’ve submitted, you can change it up a little & submit it again—i’ll be more than happy to try it again for you.

angst & nsfw request are accepted but i don’t write tortureporn figurative or literal. i will not write anything involving any character with their canonical abuser, and i will make judgement calls about certain kinks or mature themes on a case by case basis. some stuff is just not my cup of tea, hopefully you’ll find someone else who will write that!

keep it cute! literally! fluff/romance/domestic/slice of life prompts have a higher chance of getting written because that’s where i feel i excel at.

i’m not doing this on commission! this is 100% free thing that i’m doing mainly out of boredom and hyper fixation with this game/ship. please don’t be overly demanding or don’t expect the speediest response in filling your prompt. i work full time, look after my grandmother who is going blind, and i also just sometimes don’t feel like writing! i promise to do my best to fill every prompt as quickly & concisely as i can.

other than that, inbox is open & google docs is up and running. feel free to send me a prompt at any time; i look forward to making wyllstarion nations headcanons a reality! 🖤

[theflannelwizard]

PLEASE. gimme your scout thoughts NAOOOWW GIMME GIMME GIMMEE

THIS IS THE BEST ASK ANYONE HAS EVER SENT ME. Buckle up cause I have a LOT of Scout thoughts. Some of these are supported by canon and some of them are just random ass headcanons but fuck it we ball. Under a read more cause it is gonna get long.

The more he brags about something, the more insecure he is about it. To me he reads as deeply in need of validation and when he's out here flexing and talking about how hot he is it's largely in hopes that someone will agree for once.

That said I don't think the ego is entirely an act. He does think he's hot shit. He just ALSO really really really needs to hear someone else say it cause he's starved for affection.

Not to be a scoutpauling enjoyer on main but I think he calls her all the time for no reason. Calls her to tell her a joke he thought of or to brag about whatever he's just done or to awkwardly ask how she's doing and then say "yeah, me too" no matter how she responds. And she's usually too busy to really engage him but she wouldn't pick up if she didn't want him calling. And she does usually pick up.

Middle school dropout. I do buy into him being dyslexic but I also think he just isn't very educated. It was more important to get a damn job. His family is huge, his mom is single, and I am no longer certain whether I'm joking when I say Spy didn't pay child support.

I think he calls Medic 'Ma' sometimes and it started 100% as a joke, like when teenagers call their teacher 'Mom' on purpose, but now it's just Something He Does.

Sometimes I see people write him and Soldier as not getting along and I totally get where that's coming from but it's not my truth. To me they are best friends who chase each other around the base with BB guns and make campfire food and root beer floats together and get too hyped for the 4th of July (Soldier likes the America of it all, Scout likes the candy and fireworks, they both like American marching band music) and like. They have fun together. They egg each other on.

Blinks in photos. Every. Single. Time.

He claims he’s good at cleaning but he is not. If you ask him to wash dishes he will rinse them, if you ask him to sweep or mop he will not do anymore than makes the place Look clean at surface level, etc etc. He’s the same way with cleaning himself. He counts rain as a shower and swimming pools as baths.

The exception to that rule is his ma and Miss Pauling, he cleans up pretty nice for them. They're also the only people he'll wear a suit for.

If he knew Spy was his dad he would be mad about it. He would not call him Dad. He would probably try to use it for comedy but not because he actually thinks it's funny, just cause he uses humor to cope. And uhhh he would go from "that guy's a prick" to "that guy ruined my life and I am never speaking to him again." sorry for not thinking he would forgive and forget right away but he deserves to be angry at least at first.

Speaking of. I think the scoutpauling and spydad dynamic is so funny. Imagine you're the spy and you abandoned your son as a toddler and then not only does said son end up back in your life as your obnoxious ass coworker but he's dating your boss. And he complains to your boss about how hard his life was growing up fatherless. And your boss knows you're the deadbeat dad her boyfriend got fucked over by. I would be SWEATING.

This man LOVES comic books but he skips over big chunks of text and words that take too long to sound out. When that happens he just infers from the pictures what’s going on. Secretly he really wants someone to read his comic books aloud to him and do silly voices and help him get better at spelling/phonics but he would NEVER ask. He’s not a little kid anymore, he doesn’t need to be treated like one.

I think sometimes he flat out refuses to take his shirt off for anything and when this happens it is always because he’s been bleeding so heavily from his chest, back, or side that his shirt dried into the scab and now it would hurt like hell if he tore it off. However this is also the only time that anyone actually encourages him to take his shirt off because nobody cares about his abs and shoulders but they do care a little about making sure he doesn’t get super infected and die.

Swears he isn’t scared of escalators but that’s a lie, he thinks he’s gonna trip and get shredded.

Not licensed to drive but knows how. His driving is insane off roads, people die if they get in a car with him off roads, but when he's on a road he actually drives very well cause he knows he can't afford to get pulled over. A cop sees him speeding and suddenly he's being taken in for countless charges of murder and possession of illegal firearms and who knows what else.

And of course, he hates the Mets and the Yankees <3

[maryelizagreg]

I’m really good at golf and phlebotomy and surgical precision, radiology, topography. Design, architecture. Music.

I like the beach. Collecting sea shells and songs. I’m a walking juke box with a rolladex in my head. I think vintage stuff is cool. I used to love traveling, still do- just have anxiety about it for no known reason. But I’m trying to get over it.

I get sick kind of easily, my health isn’t 100% what it could be.

I like stupid things that don’t matter to other people, like soap, the sound of an instrument- or someone’s voice. The smell of a certain flower. A perfectly blank canvas. Small insignificant details that to me really make everything what it is. Again, I have no idea why.

I like to sit outside and float around, and just look at things. For hours.

I wanted to have my own shop, to show people the things I like to look at, and to showcase the beautiful vision I had for these things.

I like to inspire or lift people off their feet, I really value authenticity and, truth. Resonating with people in perfect solitude.

I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination and have made a lot of mistakes. But I’ve also done right by people who really, needed someone. Just anyone, you know. And I’m… glad that whatever I am, could be something or someone. I love children in particular, and have a very patient understanding and caring relationship for them, I think it is… so important to be that caring, despite how difficult it can be.

I’ve been told I have a glow.

I like to write music, I feel a flow state sometimes when I do. I want people to, feel happy, jump and dance, and resonate to things I created.

I struggle with things that if I didn’t telll you were there you’d likely never know about, but I’m learning my best to deal with and live a life for myself despite how difficult it can be.

Peace is important to me, more so than most other things. Any goal or dream, or desire. I just like peace, but sometimes I wonder if my addiction to this kind of solitude is almost unhealthy for me.

I am too good at being invisible, but this doesn’t mean that I can’t be seen.

I struggle to communicate or represent myself in a way that… makes sense to others. So I don’t try to explain anymore… I don’t know if this is a mistake.

I’m probably somewhere on the spectrum, though I really wouldn’t like to be. There’s nothing I can do about this and what I am, and the ways in which I am “different.”

High functioning doesn’t always mean high functioning, and sometimes the things I do or say won’t make a lot of sense.

I have other issues too, and so this is… everyone’s got their own crosses to bear… such is life, and we are all human and imperfect, and our lives, are too. Life is.

I don’t know, what to do. Sometimes… but I know things I like to do. Even if they don’t make sense, to me they do. So … a lot of the time it’s about listening to intuition and letting it be. For me…

If others don’t, want to understand or can’t understand like… I can’t, I’ve tried. But.

Anyway. I over think some things, probably to a fairly normal extent however.

I want to hug (name redacted),

And… water the plants. And let my dogs be at peace.

I live a silent and peaceful life. This is on purpose, my choice… whether it’s right or not I don’t know.

[ashen-crest]

a stats report on the rk ashwick books (as of April 2023)

some folks responded positively to the idea of seeing data on how my books have done (for indie author research and benchmark purposes), so here you go!

I'll put everything under the cut:

📚 What do I write?

Cozy fantasy romance under the pen name R.K. Ashwick.

📚 Why do I write?

Because I love it. I have a full-time job that isn't related to writing, so I write in my spare time. I should also note that I do not have dependents, am not a caregiver, and I do have anxiety and ADHD. I am not certain that I want to be a full-time writer, given the financial instability and the joy it could take away from writing. However, I want my books to be and perform the best they can, so I try to be professional about my product and methods.

(To me, this is all important context to be up-front about. Finances, family size, and health all have a huge impact on an author's goals and strategies.)

📚 How many books do I have out?

The Stray Spirit: released August 2022. First in a planned trilogy.

A Rival Most Vial: released March 2023. First in a planned trilogy.

📚 Online Visibility

Here's what I have going on:

Paid:

Website (requires $ for hosting)

BookFunnel for newsletter promos, sales promos, and ARC distribution (site requires $ to join)

Unpaid:

Newsletter (currently managing on free version of Mailerlite, since I'm under 1000 followers)

Facebook page (not consistently maintained, mostly for SEO)

Instagram, posting 5x/wk

TikTok, posting 5k/wk

Tumblr- hi!

using things like LibraryThing, GoodReads forums, Reddit, and FB pages to find more ARC readers

I was doing Amazon ads, but recently nixed them, as I didn't feel they were really getting me anything. I'll likely return to them once I have more books out.

A Note on Follower Count: I have, like 10 FB followers, 400-ish Insta followers, 1500 TikTok folders, and almost 1600 Tumblr followers. I've been on Tumblr the longest and TikTok second longest. TikTok had the fastest growth, Insta the slowest. However, general advice is that engagement rate is more important than follower count. I'll be real, I'm not doing that hot on that front. I'll consistently get around 20 likes on Insta posts and TikTok often caps my video views at around 200 or 300. The videos that do the best on TT often aren't the ones related to my books. Fun times.

A Note on Newsletter Stats: I have a pretty consistent open rate of 25-30%, which I think is okay. I'd like for it to be closer to 40%. (It's also hard to actually track open rates, so that number isn't entirely reliable.)

A Note on ARC Reader Stats: I got 100 readers for TSS and almost 200 for ARMV. This resulted in a ballpark count of 20 reviews for TSS and 30 reviews for ARMV around release time.

📚 Other Marketing Strategies

What you see above under Visibility is my ongoing work. I also do more limited-run strategies, like:

occasional free book giveaways on social media

pre-order gifts for my book

I sent out around 20 pre-order gift envelopes for TSS and 45 for ARMV. I operate the pre-order gifts at a loss, but I really enjoy doing it, so I'm okay with it. I also have lots of leftover stickers and bookmarks that I can bundle with giveaways.

📚 Distribution

I distribute wide through:

Amazon: both ebook and paperback

IngramSpark: paperback only

Draft2Digital: ebook only

📚 Orders & Royalties

So, what did all this work and shennanery get me?

From July 2022-April 2023 (10 months):

Books Sold: 575

Total Royalties, paid and unpaid: $1543.49 ($2.68 per book)

📚 Is that good or bad?

I have no idea!! And I think in the end, it all depends on your goals.

If my goal was to make a living: welp, it's def not enough.

If my goal was to break even: between website set up, DBA set up, cover cost, editing cost, illustrator cost: nah. I'd have to make about $4,000 more to safely say I've broken even.

If my goal was to get strangers, and not just family and friends, to read my books: oh hey, I did that!!

I hope this information helps you set a goal, so you're not mentally wandering around like I am.

📚 Other Notes

A big factor in having a financially successful indie book is fitting genre conventions in your chosen subgenre, or 'writing to market.' I will say that A Rival Most Vial is more written to market than The Stray Spirit is. The Stray Spirit sort of straddles cozy, historical, and academic fantasy without actually leaning in to any of those things, so it's a little harder to market.

I also spent a lot on cover, editing, and illustration. That makes it harder to be a financially viable business, but it's what I wanted to do to have a strong finished product. I am lucky in that my full-time job can cover these expenses.

I'm not very good at social media. I've never had anything go viral on any of the sites.

The most rewarding part of all this is seeing how people react to the book: reviews, videos where they're almost crying over the book, podcast invitations, and [something a bit bigger than I'll announce in the summer.] At the end of the day, if I have a small group of buyers who are vocal in engaging with my books, that's far more rewarding than a large group of buyers who don't engage.

📚 Parting Thoughts

I'm happy to talk about any and all aspects of my self-publishing experience. If you have more questions or want more details, feel free to reply, send an ask, or DM me!

[theambitiouswoman]

Hi! Thank you for creating such an uplifting blog.

I’m curious to know what helpful reminders you give yourself when you’re having an off week.

Thank you x

hi :) Thank you kindly <3

If i am having an off week I honestly give myself grace. If it cant get finished today, it will get done tomorrow. We aren't comparing ourselves to anyone. Our timelines are our own. Gods timing is perfect and those off weeks could serve a purpose. There are situations where I wasn't at my best and behind on my timelines... but once I got to the finish line, I either realized the timing didn't matter; That the perfect time to accomplish something is when I accomplish it. Or, that I needed to take a step back and that delay served its purpose in allowing other aspects and things going on in my life to sync up.

I am extremely structured and disciplined. My life is on a schedule. Routines are very important to me. Timelines, deadlines, organization, perfection, etc. The best word I can probably use would be militant. However, the times that I feel off, I give myself time to relax. Time to think. I know its temporary therefor I focus on uplifting myself that way when I get back to my daily focus I can go in full speed. Understand that if YOU don't feel 100% you can't operate at 100%. To be honest when I do this, it helps me think better and find different avenues or solutions to my tasks. A time out and fresh perspective can be a great thing. More often than none, it propels you forward faster.

We are only human.

Also a woman.

Women can't operate the same way every single day of the month. It would be good to understand your circle, that way you can fluctuate between mental, and physical efforts through out the month. Having off days, or even weeks don't dictate your worth or what you are able to achieve. If you simply don't have it in you at certain points to operate a certain way, you pivot and find another way to continue to be productive, or not be productive. Then you start building your future schedules based on how much time you see you can operate at your best and times you cant. For example, the week of my period I am exhausted and bloated. I plan the month around that. The day of my period, I am absolutely useless. NOTHING CAN GET DONE. It would annoy me a bit when I was on a deadline, therefor I tried to get things winded down leading up to those days and I already knew nothing will be happening. This is a good technique to put into practice that will help with you not being hard on yourself.