#i am already doing badly lately and i don't need any comments

[quakinqueer]

Yay! This is great!! Please donate if you can! Here's the QR code you can use to do that!

But also, I have some thoughts.

(as always, please do not engage if all you want to do is start an argument)

I wanna make one thing and one thing very clear, it is FANTASTIC that he is doing this. Showing actual concrete support and trying to help the cause publicly. Even if he was donating previously (which I've seen people saying but am not certain of), doing it privately is not nearly as impactful or helpful as doing it publicly and rallying your dedicated fan base for the sake of COMMUNITY SUPPORT.

All that to say, much like smosh, he should've been doing things like this for months, but better late than never. It's great that he's actually doing something.

That being said, from a purely PR perspective, doing this without ANY sort of apology to Zayna or acknowledgement of his behavior last week, was not the best move, purely with regards to those who've been expecting and hoping for such a statement, only to get nothing, and then suddenly this; those who are likely going to see this as performative or "damage control". I personally don't agree with this stance at all, but I've already seen ppl on twt claim these things. Admittedly that's more a 'them just having a grudge against damien' problem, but I digress.

(btw I can't believe it's been a full week of this personal hell)

If he did this thinking it would entirely clear his name and absolve him of any wrongdoing, then he clearly misunderstood the situation just as badly as any of his stans did. Showing support is great, now are you going to address the actual situation or just ignore it forever?

Obviously, this is a VERY good thing for him to be doing (I can't emphasize that enough), but frankly, his apology to zayna is still needed and pending, and an acknowledgement, or better yet explanation, of his terrible behavior last week is not *needed* but certainly expected and anticipated.

He did a good thing, awesome, those of you who can please donate. I still think he should've said something first.

(SRSLY THO HOW HARD IS IT TO JUST SAY SORRY LIKE GEEZ MY MAN GET IT TOGETHER WHAT ARE YOU DOING)

At this point, a full week later, it seems silly to still expect an apology or explanation, and I think at this point it's about time to give up. I just- what happened? What happened to the damien that would sooner crawl out of his skin than allow someone to think he had any sort of ill will toward them? What happened to the damien that is supposedly a "recovering people-pleaser" and always takes other's feelings into consideration, often before his own? What happened to the damien who was recently described by a fellow cast member as "not having a mean bone in his body" and across the years has received many similar comments and compliments? Where is he right now??

I'm not AS disappointed as I was to begin with, but I certainly haven't gained any respect for him either (personally).

[sillybayo]

Can't sleep. Time for me to elaborate on this

Notes:

-This is a copy and pasted ramble from discord with some tweaks now that I'm further into the game. This was originally written when I have only just started the third semester arc, and even now, I haven't finished the game. So no spoilers in the reposts or comments please :(! If you want a good idea of where I am, then I've only just started the actual change of heart mission

-The characters discussed in this ramble are high schoolers and below the age of 20. I don't know how old they are in strikers or in any other spin off, and I do not plan on playing them. So please do not leave any gross comments about them, I will only block you. (If you're familiar with my rgu rambles then this isn't anything like them,, I'm just annoying and scaring away half the fandom)

-Warning for a lot of ableism in the school system and beyond

----

Ok so its like. How ableism in school effects people in different ways and how to cope with it. This is semi headcanony? I don't know how bonkers of a statement it is? Basically its like Ryuji being mentally + physically disabled and constantly trying to fight for the best. Makoto is mentally disabled and masks for adults approval and just accepts how things are. Sumire could VERY easily be read as physically disabled I don't think I need to explain it that much. Neither of the phantom thieves fit into society in some way or another but with those three its a much more of a like. They will never fit in kind of thing.

Something that stands out to me the most is how Makoto is the only one who understands Ryujis "dumb moments".

(Sorry for the weird combination of video and screenshots. Tumblr is weird)

I don't reallyyyyyyyyyyy read it as "Makoto is smarter than everyone else which is how she even begins to get him". Its more like she actually understands. She gets it.

Like lets be for eel. Makoto was basically pressured into working super hard. Theres no way she struggles with it that is only and simply in the "everyone wants me to appeal to their expectations" way.

She is smart but I feel like her studying hard is something she forces herself to do with the weight of ableism on her shoulders, which only makes it harder. I'm not sure if I'm making sense???? but Ryuji and Makoto can easily be read as having adhd. Ryuji as the typical LOL RANDOM 🤪 boy that inconveniences everyone whos actually really tired and struggling really badly and working as hard as he can. Makoto can be read as "oh, no, she isn't disabled :). She acts normal" when she really is and it pushed to the limits and can't fight against it and create a better school experience for herself because of how everyone just denies it.

Theres also Sae actively trying to make sure Makoto gets the recognition she deserves. Yes, this is because Makoto is a girl in a world where men control everything. But I personally feel like theres also this intersectionality of misogyny and ableism, which only means Makoto has to work even harder and has more weight on her shoulders.

Additionally, adhd is already ignored when it comes to girls having it, because to society, its mainly a boys thing where they jump up and down and run everywhere. Girls aren't thought to have adhd because not only do they have to mask harder to be taken seriously, but also because society ignores other symptoms and just views them as normal or not as much of an inconvenience to them personally and not to the person who actually has the disability.

You can also VERY EASILY add the idea of Makoto being japanese into all of the intersectionality stuff. Mental disorders are even HARDER to get diagnosed when you're colored,, and nobody cares until its too late. East asian readers who live/have lived in east asia are completely free to add on to this and correct me, as I don't know what it would be like when the mass majority of people you're surrounded by everyday are the same race as you, as you wouldn't have to deal with stereotypes or the system being against you (unless I am wrong :<!), but I still feel like this is DEFINITELY worth mentioning

I'm not physically disabled (I suppose? Saying this because of depression aches but they likely don't count) so I can't really be as personal about Ryujis leg and Sumires,,,,,, everything. I feel like Sumire could be read as having an invisible disability thats not taken seriously. Something something internalized ableism something something the school being so hard on her is making everything worse something something chasing to be someone else when in the end it'll never work.

Even with Sumire becoming Kasumi just because she can't imagine living as "her murderer", theres something about living as someone with different privileges and expectations than you. Theres something about not being able to be "as good" as them, especially when everyone thinks you are them. Theres something about having to struggle with something that no one can see. "This is Kasumi, not Sumire. So why is she failing so much?"

Theres also something about Ryujis "perfect world" being focused on his leg healing. Yes, hes a part of the track team again. But they aren't really the focus. Think of characters like Sumires dad, Mika, and Shibusawa. They have character portraits/sprites. While this doesn't 100% mean that they're important, it does make you remember them better. It establishes their personalities better and they're mentioned quite a bit.

Meanwhile, the side characters in Ryujis social links are just known as, well, "the track team" and "the coaches". They do have names, but, please be honest with yourself, do you remember them? And they don't have actual sprites either. Just typical modules.

Meanwhile, when you go up and talk to Ryuji, Akira/Ren/The Protagonist doesn't ask about the team or anything. Its about Ryujis leg (and also how they met I guess which is quite romantic but thats not relevant). And its normal to wish your disability wasn't there at all. I wish so everyday. Its a very common experience, especially when your disability is a roadblock to achieving your dreams.

It kind of makes me think of Maruki as........kind of ableist? At least in the context of this headcanon. Because all he is doing is encouraging Sumire and Ryuji to conform into an identity that they'll never truly be, which only hurts them more in the end.

(If any physically disabled readers than to add onto this or correct something then feel free to! I'd love to hear it :3)

Basically what I'm saying is that these three specifically should come together and kiss. And snuggle. Maybe make out a little. Maybe burn down shujin. I came up with a ship name for them (niijimoyoshizawa) but as you can see, its ass. So theres that.

Even if you don't end up shipping them,, then I hope you imagine them being sweet friends to each other,, or that I've gave you a different perspective on their arcs

[spurgie-cousin]

ok my mom understandably had to go to bed (very late here in her time zone, and it's even an hour later in the one I'm used to) but I'm a mental masochist so I will trudge on until I can't physically watch Shiny Happy People anymore (and I'm just going to edit my comments instead of reblog bc so far there's really not a lot most of us aren't aware of):

- firstly, I knew Deanna was raised Christian but I didn't know she was raised VERY conservative Christian. Per Deanna, this is the reason Amy was allowed so much freedom; she didn't want to limit her as a female in any of the ways she was

- going off of that, I can see how that foundation would open Jim Bob up to a religion that is so insanely misogynistic

- I know it's a thing all of us who've been around a while have known, but it's all but explicitly said that the Duggar kids had any steal of rebellious beat out of them. By Michelle, regardless of what she sounds like.

- I can't help but wonder if this is the reason Michelle sticks so closely to this faith, even after all that's happened. Even as her own children have expressed how abusive their upbringing was. Leaving the ideology means admitting you were an abuser and not an educator.

- Jill felt like she lied in the Megyn Kelly interview. She didn't want to do it and said she wouldn't have without her parents urging, and she felt obligated to protect her family. She didn't want to do this interview, but didn't trust anyone else to tell the truth which, given her upbringing, I totally get.

- the interviews with other ex-IBLP kids are just as fascinating to listen to as Jill's (if not more bc a lot of them WANT to be there). Tia Levings in particular is so incredibly brave and wonderful, please follow her your preferred platform ❤️

- Mike Huckabee is an accomplice to abuse and ped*philia at best

- I know Derick can be insufferable but I promise he's worth listening to in this doc, at least so far (I'm halfway through episode 3). And he's a very serious Jill advocate, which I feel like all the Duggar girls need so badly.

- Jill didn't want anyone at her birth because SHE DIDN'T WANT TOO GO THROUGH WHAT ANNA WENT THROUGH. She agreed to a diary cam at most.

- For that work they did during their babies birth, the Dillards requested not a full paycheck, but a small health insurance renumeration fee from TLC, who asked them to do this work. TLC informed then that they had already paid all sums to Jim Bob.

- Jill has never received any amount of payment from TLC for all the time and work she had given them. Neither had Derick.

- this is probably a NO DUH for us around here, but here is a short list of IBLP/ATI approved lives of training, especially for minors who are doing work for free for other members of the organization (i believe the Bates kids are included in some of the pictures accompanyingthis part):

1. CoNSTrUCTioN!!!

2. Cosmetology (women only of course)

3. Ministry

4. Business?

5. Healthcare consultant

6. ALERT counselor

Secular college courses so not apply to accreditation in these fields

- other ex-IBLP members confirm that children were trained in construction trades and child labor was used gratuitously in the organization, for anything from repairs, to setting up conferences, to building actual buildings. And it was all, of course, free.

- ALERT confirmed as a purposeful paramilitary organization

- am ex-IBLP woman who was sent to ALERT states that they took tampons away from her, as they were a form of purity violation (she says they said she had purposefully taken her own virginity by using them).

- a woman raised in IBLP recounts a story at a conference in Oklahoma City where her roommate almost slit her throat with a knife over being a 'glutton'. Essentially, a teenage girl almost killed herself over not being thin enough to be 'godly'.

- David Green, the CEO of Hobby Lobby, is STILL IBLP's biggest donor. Don't fucking shop there!!!!

- a purposefully sanitized version of Bill Gothard's teachings have been and might still be used in elementary schools, prisons, police and military units as a way of indoctrinating those in attendance to be more open to absolute authority.

- All of the kids besides Jill & Derick might've very well signed a very lengthy contract that extends at least a decade. The Dillards didn't, and have received extreme yet Christian-flavored threats over it???

- The Dillards were using a food bank even after they asked Jim Bob for the most basic payment for their services to the show

- Jill, Derick, and others all agree tha Journey To The Heart was a vetting mechanism for Gothard's abuse victims

[island-ofthelost]

okay.. so this is going to be long because it's something that has been hurting people I know on here a lot lately.

I saw a reblog you did to a post someone did on here today about Five, and originally when I read this particular post this morning, it made me feel bad. I know it was just their opinion and they have every right to it, but the way they wrote it was just so, "Everyone else who doesn't see it this way is wrong."

Your reply in your re-blog was what I think we all need to hear.

I'm being a wuss-bag by saying this anon, but I don't want to get into it with people on here.

I would make this comment on the post, non-anon, but I have already had so many shitty bullying anon asks sent to me about my posts that I do for anon replies, and on many of my other posts where I am just trying to have fun and be creative. People have also come after me non-anon about me writing stories with Five in romantic situations or because they think my other posts suck. I am just trying to avoid more of that mean stuff and the back talk from these guys that they do in their other posts that they may or may not think don't get send around to all of us.

Message to them-we do see them. It's a relatively small community within the TUA fandom.

Mostly, I just want less hate and judgement going on, and your reply was a great way of explaining another way to look at this that includes everyone, and I really really appreciate that.

I just wanted you to know, that there are so many people out there that feel bad about this stuff, and that they and I agree with you. I support you and I think that you made very good sense without being mean to anyone.

I also just wanted to say how brave you are for speaking up to make the very good point that, yes, Five Hargreeves as a fictional character may be aroace, or maybe not so much, or maybe somewhere in-between on all that, just like so many real people are. But he also very much could have had real romantic feelings of intimacy with Dolores and he could have those same things with someone else if given the opportunity and time to get there.

Five may be into girls, or guys, or both, or no one. He may like blondes or pink haired people or banging aliens with two heads for all I know. He could be autistic. Fuck it, he could be anything because he's a fictional character we can all bend anyway we want and project our own beliefs and feelings on. That's the point of fanfiction. The show and comics lay out stuff pretty clear about Five on emotional stuff and all that relationship stuff, be it with Dolores or chicks he is hitting on, or his family, but still all of that is up to interpretation by the many viewers out there and it's all good. That's the big picture.

People need to stop putting down others on here. It's all good guys!

I see posts on here all the time by people saying cruel things about different ships they don't agree with, or about other users tastes, either intentionally or maybe not intentionally, and they do it because when the people they don't agree with dive into the fictional world of Five, they see him as someone capable of anything, and often times this includes a romantic relationship with someone real.

And yes, I see Five's interactions with Dolores romantically, and I might be wrong on that, but I do. Even well after Five was out of the apocalypse and he came to her, he missed so badly. He feels things for her whether she is real or not. It's real to him. It's heartbreaking but real. Five kisses her and says mega romantic things to her in Italian in season 3 when Jamie spits on him. That was in his head. His thoughts. His desires. His feelings coming out in that scene. She didn't make him do or see that. I thought it was sad and beautiful and only made me love the character more. I think Five has more heart than any of them-capable of so much love if he's only given the chance to give and receive it. Like you said, maybe somewhere down the line, Five could have that. I hope he does, but even if it's not romantic or physical love, that's perfectly fine to. I can bend my brain to see anything.

I have seen it called disgusting to think Five capable of physical forms of love and intimacy that are romantic or sexual in nature. I have seen posts bashing the writers and the people that read anything with him in these situations. There's many on here making posts for the soul purpose of calling other people on here disgusting for envisioning Five as someone with infinite love of all kinds. They say they are sickened by all the Five X reader insert pairings tags, and they are horrified by people out there who want to envision a part of themselves in these stories with Five. All sorts of tags have been called disgusting and really, if they feel that way and don't want to see it, then you can filter tags you don't like so you never see them. Why not do that instead of bashing people who have done nothing to you.

I often wonder how they would feel if they saw posts saying what they thought or wanted to read or buzz excitedly about was disgusting?

I think they'd feel judged and pissed and sad. And they wouldn't be wrong.

I think it is sad to tell anyone else that what they feel is wrong. I don't think that is exactly what the post I am referring to today was doing or trying to say. I think that person who wrote that is a very nice person and a great writer, and they love the show and the character, and they are just trying to answer the question as it was put to them, as in how they see Five. They just didn't see the potential for the hurt that could be taken with the way they wrote that reply. Again, it was an ask reply, and they were just giving their answer, but I see and feel the pain in the way these things come off, and I wish people posting would consider that before posting the way they do.

I never want anyone to feel embarrassed or be shamed by something as silly and normally fun as fanfiction and what they like to read or write in it.

If we could all see that nobody wants to be judged for how they feel and for who they are, I think the world would be a better place.

There is nothing wrong with romance, no romance, sex, no sex, hugs, no hugs, or whatever. By dividing each other by things like our desires or lack of them in certain things, we separate ourselves in ways that aren't good, and it makes the problems of understanding and accepting each other all the harder.

We are all people, and we are all okay no matter who we are. Thank you for making me feel that way. ❤️

Well fuck, this is a long ass ask, but thank you so much for trusting me with your feelings, anon. I don't know if I'm the best person for this, because I'm famously not a fan of Five in romance fics, and not because of his sexuality but the fact that his body is still a minor in most of the contexts they're written in, but if people age up his body I still find it strange because I do think he is on the aroace spec, but I would never find it disgusting or tell people what they can or can't do based on my headcanon no matter how popular. you wanna write Five fics that take place in or post season 4 or with him aged up? go the fuck ahead. not my cup of tea, but I would never harass anyone for it.

what I find troubling is that people want to discount the feelings he's clearly shown to have as a "trauma response" or "something he knows is wrong" in favor of their headcanon that isn't confirmed is frankly cringe as fuck. he's a complex guy that probably was genuinely romantically involved with the mannequin, no matter how weird. love is love until it's not allowed to be I guess.

Idk, again I find most Five fics weird as fuck but people are allowed to do whatever they want, it's not hurting a community that I happen to be a part of and I'm sure some of these people are not part of, and if you don't wanna read a fic (which again, I don't) just don't read it, nothing is being shoved down your throat.

Thanks for the ask.

[cochineal-leviat]

Hello! Hi! I'm one of the invested reader in your most recent fic Gimmighoul for your thoughts? And also the one who's writing a fic vaguely inspired by it. (And also one that commented a lot, haha.)

You may recognize me by username (there's an extra 's' here but, eh, it's the same.) I decided to ask the questions I wanted to ask there because of, uh, anxiety issues.

So here are my questions:

1. Would you be okay with it if I were to use your character, Flore, in my story? It's most likely too late because I already started with the female MC, but I may write more Pokémon stuff in the future and I'd like to write it with a non-binary MC and I now have as a headcanon that, if there was an option to be non-binary, their default name would be Flore (like Juliana for the girl, and Florian for the boy). Also, if you're okay with it, would it be okay to alter a little bit their story and their taste? Like, they have Koraidon instead of Miraidon or they chose Sprigatito instead of Fuecoco as their starter. Or, they're fond of cute stuff instead of macabre stuff. Their personalities would most likely stay the same, but there would be slight alteration like that. Just like how people write Juliana or Florian: things changing depending of the person personal experience.

2. Next, I wanted to know if I should give you a shout out if I ever post my fic somewhat related to yours? Since you gave me the idea for the prompt, in a sense. Like, I would say the name of the fic that inspired me and your author's name and saying something like: "check out their stuff, they're great." I don't know if I should, because I'm, anyway, a way smaller author and my story will, probably, not even be remotly similar to yours. Furthermore, I'm a very strange person and I write the idea out of my mind with barely any filters. My works are tagged properly, at least, but, you know, not safe for work. You're a SFW author, so I'd understand if you'd like to not be associated with me in the slightest. However, since I would be the one doing the shoutout, it wouldn't be as bad as if you were to do it. If there's one thing I really dislike it's making people uncomfortable against their will. I'm a strange person, maybe a bit scary at first glance, but I'm not a creep. I do not approve of tricking people into seeing weird things. No need to worry, this fic I'm planning to write will be, at max, rated teens and up. I looked at your other stuff and you're more inclined toward family friendly and I respect that 100%. On my side, my taste change and my mind shifts every two months so my works are all over the place. (I wanted to explain that, because, you know, the internet can be wild sometimes and get to the most extreme conclusion.)

3. I forgot to ask: what are your preffered pronouns? I should have asked that first. Sorry if I'm indiscreet, but I just want to be safe. I assumed you were non-binary since you seem to like turning some character non-binary (by looking at your works). So, my brain default to they/them pronouns. Also, asking in case I need to give you a shout out. (And, in case you want to know too, I don't have preffered pronouns. Any is fine.)

Anyway, that's it! I know this is a lot, but I think those are important questions. Sorry if it was badly written, I have trouble to write my personal thoughts on paper; I write stories, not emails. Thank you for your time and I wish you the best of luck for whatever adventure you are currently on! ^_^ (Also, random compliment: I like your art. Especially the coloring. The way you use colors is magnifico!)

Ah! Good to see you, and what a nice lengthy ask. I will answer in kind to make things easier.

1 Go ahead! You can use Flore for your fics. I am over the moon that you want to write about them. But if you do, I would like you to please credit me. I put a lot of time and effort into writing them and their design, and it would hurt for them to be used without credit. But I am assured you will do that; if not, you would not be asking permission in the first place.

As for changing Miraidon to Koraidon and other story details - you have my permission! I don't sweat the small stuff. Flore likes cute things, too; it's usually overworn by their love of spooky stuff most of the time (they and Lacey geek out about cute Pokemon in most of their hangouts). And you can change their Pokemon to whatever team you have in mind. It will be like a fun alternate-universe version of them. It makes sense that OG Flore and your version of Flore differ, and I'm all up for seeing it!

2 You can give me a shout-out or not. I will leave it up to you. I gave you the prompt indirectly, but you don't have to mention me if it varies too much from the original. But again, as above, please credit me if you use Flore.

Being told I'm an SFW author is pretty funny! I suppose I am, even though I have written horror and creepy stuff before - it never needed a mature rating. I respect NSFW authors for being so brave. So ditto!

3. I use He/him, they/them pronouns. I go through life mostly as a guy, but I also feel non-binary, so you are not entirely wrong.

And don't cha worry! This is not poorly written at all. I can read that you are excited, and that is nice to know. Thank you very much for the well wishes (I will need them) and for complimenting my art. It's lovely of you.

Have a sketch of Flore as a farewell gift! I wish you an absolutely awesome day or night further!

[crisalidaseason]

I was feeling a little silly and wanted some pain, so here we have strained eren/mikasa/armin relationship with lots of angst. Also not proofread at all because I have a fever

Content warning: the trio's relationship is not good, Mikasa and Armin are still besties though, Eren is being mean, so is Armin, Armin is angry, really angry and mean, Armin is a Mikasa protector, platonic Arumika, Eremin if you squint, Eren and Mikasa are siblings here (no romantic thing going on between them), no happy ending, canonverse, blank period between S3/S4

Song rec: I hate everything about you by Three Days Grace

A knock on his door distracted Armin from his papers.

"Come in" he said, already aware of who it was.

Mikasa entered the room quietly, closing the door and resting against it.

"Good evening" he said, turning on his chair and facing her.

She did not reply, which was her usual behavior. Instead both remained frozen, waiting for the woman's next move. Armin had known her long enough to not elicit anything from her, she would speak when ready.

"Do you want some tea? The kettle is still warm enough" he offered, already expecting the 'no'.

"Why is he like that? Why?"

Armin sighed. It always came down to him lately. Always Eren, Eren, Eren. He was tired of it.

"I know" Armin replied, pouring tea in his empty mug.

"He thinks he's being so smart!" she said, louder than usual but still lower than others would.

"If only he was smart" Armin commented "we would not be here right now, discussing how stupid he is"

"Does he really think that treating us badly will lessen any pain?"

It was a rant. Armin learned that Mikasa rarely wanted an actual conversation when she was agitated. He calculated that maybe a few minutes of venting was needed before she was actually ready to listen to any sort of argumentative points.

"He was so unecessarily rude to Sasha and Connie today, and also all the times he just ignores us whenever we want to talk with him"

Eren's behavior towards his comrades was becoming acid by the day. A slow change, started by long periods of isolation and silence, followed by his volatile temper that often resulted in rude comments.

"I am still fucking pissed at what he told you last meeting, I've been trying to make him apologize-"

"He won't and I also don't want it" Armin interrupted "Besides, he owes you more apologies than I can count"

She stopped ranting. Maybe, just maybe, Armin's sudden loud voice caught her off guard. He sighed again, whenever he was mentioned Armin had a tendency to let his anger show.

"Sorry" he said "didn't mean to be loud"

"No" she said "you should"

She walked towards him, leaning against the table.

"Maybe be loud at him next time, he tells you all those things and you just take it"

Oh no, he did not, but if Armin genuinely exposes his emotions, he will loose control. Whenever Eren disrespected someone, but specially his sister, Armin feared the urge he felt to hurt his childhood friend. In multiple occasions he wanted nothing more than break Eren's face, even if he knew the result would be himself being the one hurt.

"There is no use in arguing with him. He thinks being loud and angry means he's right, and I don't argue with people like that"

"I should have punched harder" she whispered.

It was a remarkable punch, Armin recalled. She was never one to hurt someone for the smallest reasons, but Eren was a victim of her fist a few times due to his tendencies of being...selfcentered.

"Being hurt never worked with Eren Jaeger" Armin laughs bitterly "sometimes I think he enjoys it"

"Something is wrong with him"

Armin did not have an answer. Eren was acting strange and nobody knew exactly why.

"if he is trying to push us away" Armin replied "the plan is working, I can't stand looking at him sometimes"

"He is still Eren, we can't just let him wander away"

"He is not the friend we supported all this time. Whoever that man is, he supressed the one we knew" Armin said.

___

"Can we speak?" the blond's voice was low.

He found Eren in one of the training squares rather early in the morning. The blond was preparing to pick his personal mail up in the city when he saw what was once his close friend. Eren did not aknowledge Armin, which was becoming usual of him.

"Mikasa is worried" Armin said again.

"Tell her to stop then" he replied.

"Meaningless answer, as always" Armin whispered loud enough so Eren could hear "I'll be quick. I'll tolerate your unreasonable behavior, but I won't tolerate if you direct it to Mikasa. Pretend to be civil around her and suck up whatever stupid shit goes in your head"

"So mean" Eren's voice was full of scorn.

Armin did not indulge him, knowing well how Eren communicated.

"I'm serious" Armin said "no amount of ackerbond will fix things if she lets you go, and I will support her if she decides to leave you"

"She can't do it, even if she wanted to. She is enslaved to this shit"

"Not for much longer, I hope. Our time is near, and yours is very close"

Armin would later regret his last sentence, knowing full well how Eren was still hurt over the 13-year limit. Unfortunately, Armin wanted to cause pain, he wanted to hurt Eren. It was horrible of him to do so, but he was hurting the same.

___

The blonde genuinely thought his conversation with Eren, if you could call it a conversation, did not work. He was convinced Eren would just ignore what Armin said, until he saw Eren speaking with her during dinner. He could not understand what they spoke off, both sitting in a distant table.

"Do you think he is apologizing?" Sasha asked Armin.

The two siblings were never known for having deep conversations. That was something they came to Armin for, but never to one another, prefering to use some sort of silent agreement. Armin could see some words being exchanged though.

"Probably not" the blond said "he was never good at it before all of this"

"He better" Jean said "I'm done with him making you and Mikasa walk on eggshells whenever he is near"

"Jean, leave it" Armin warned "let me and Mikasa handle it"

"He needs help" Sasha said "something is wrong and he is not well"

"I know, Sasha, but he makes it very difficult"

And I am too angry all the time to actually try, Armin bitterly thought.

___

"We need to talk"

Armin was very surprised. For months Eren never seeked Armin to talk, specially in private. To see the taller man on his door, eyes on the ground and anxious feet, was a sight to behold.

Now you wanna talk, Armin almost said.

Instead, the blond only motioned for him to enter and close the door. Armin turned back to his papers, not facing the other man. Eren had lost the right to speak to him face to face a while ago.

"Speak" he said.

Eren remained silent for a few minutes, long enough that the blonde wondered if he left the room.

"You were never like this" Eren said "angry"

"I'm not angry" Armin shot back a bit too fast.

Eren's laugh was bitter.

"I felt anger my entire life, Armin, you can't fool me on this" he said "you are angry, very angry"

"Do you even have a point with this?" Armin said.

"See? This is what I'm talking about"

Armin stood up quickly, pressing his knuckles on the table to hold his temper.

"Do you expect me to be happy or neutral about all of this? to not be livid at you?"

"I don't expect anything from anyone, I just..."

"Just what? My patience is running thin, Eren"

"None of you will ever understand what I see, what I dream about"

"Because you never cared to explain!" Armin turned to face Eren, voice already rising "You go around sulking, isolating yourself, acting strange out of nowehere. Of course we won't understand what you don't explain!"

"If I explain you will hate me!" Eren yelled.

"What makes you think I don't hate you already?"

Silence filled Armin's room. The blond was already regretting his words, but again, we was hurt, he wanted to hurt.

"You don't. Mikasa doesn't either" Eren said "You wouldn't spare me a thought if you did"

"Don't worry, it won't take too long if you keep the stupid behavior"

"It's easier this way, and you will understand that later. I promise"

The taller man turned to leave the blond's room, but before he could even open the door, Armin spoke.

"Eren"

He looked back at Armin, waiting.

"If that is your decision I won't stop you, and you still have my support for anything military related" he said.

Eren nodded, turning again.

"But don't hurt her, Eren" he said "If you do, there will be nothing but hate in my heart"

[hazzybat]

Okay I was gonna sleep but I need to put this out somewhere. It's rambly cause it's 2:30am and I need to sleep. Thoughts on my personal gender and how Joker Out is giving me a small crisis maybe.

I think I want to be a boy.

I want to be a boy in the easy way. I want to be masculine because I'm a man not because of anything else. I want to be a man no matter how I dress or look.

It's so easy for a man to be feminine. You put a flower in a man's hair or wear a skirt and he is feminine.

But he's feminine in a masculine way. He's feminine like a man. He can still look masculine. Kris looks feminine in a masculine way. Bojan looks feminine in a masculine way.

If you put me in a skirt I'm a woman. If you put flowers in my hair I'm a girl. There is no masculinity to me.

There is no way I can be masculine in the way I want. I'm short with very delicate and feminine features. I have a very feminine body.

In media (photos and videos etcetera) the way to make a woman masculine is for her to already look it. For her to have a strong jaw or broad shoulders. They put her in blazers and trousers and give her short sleek hair because men don't have curly hair or long hair. I don't want that masculinity. Masculine in a feminine way. Masculine in a way you know she's a woman.

Sometimes I like it. Sometimes I love being feminine in my own way. In an extravagant, alternative way. I love skirts and dresses and how my legs look in heeled boots. Often I like it. Often I'm fine with my body.

But lately especially with Joker Out I just so badly want to be masculine like they are. Masculine in an easy way. Masculine because they're men and nothing more. Masculine even when feminine.

They can dress well and wear pink and be in charge of their sexuality because they're men. They are sexy how men are sexy. They're flirty how men are flirty.

I dunno. I kinda like being called He/Him but that only happened as a teenager when I had no hair or chest.

I never knew if my enjoyment of that was an enjoyment of being seen as a boy or a joy of being not seen as myself.

I don't think I'm a girl. I don't think I've ever been. But I don't feel a connection to anything anyway. I view myself as a monster. In a good way. A thing that isn't human to start with. The most beautiful I've ever felt is when I wear demon horns. When I have fangs in. When I'm dressed up for Halloween. It feels more right to wear horns than any clothing I can think of.

My hair is so different to anything that it helps me feel different. Feel like a creature people comment on and aren't quite sure what to do with. I have a damn red, curly mohawk so there aren't exactly people that look like me and in a way I like that. My hair is masculine and feminine. It's so outside of the status quo it can be both and neither. I like being so different i can pretend I'm not human. Pretend I am an alien simply observing.

I will never be happy with my gender and myself I don't think because it will always change and be just out of reach. It's just often very far in the background. A tiny feeling I can ignore. Then sometimes I see a man do something and I hate them. I hate that no matter what I do in my life I will never be seen like that.

If I want to be sexy I will be seen as being sexy in a feminine way. I will be sexy in the way an object is. I will be sexy because I'm a woman so I'm meant to be sexy.

If a man is sexy its new and different. A man being sexy is him being effortless. A man being sexy is power he always had.

Male sexuality has the man in charge.

Female sexuality has the man in charge

And yes I know that woman can be dominating but I don't want to dominate. I don't want to be some tough strong woman who doesn't take shit.

I want to be a 25 year old guy who doesn't have to fucking fight tooth and nail to be seen in society as revolutionary because he says what he thinks. I want to be a 25 year old guy with a broad chest and just enough beard hair to be attractive.

This isn't really a gender crisis. I knew I was something else since high school. It didn't bother me enough to try and do much about it. Mostly I'm fine with what I am. Usually I'm fine because the truth is there is no way for me to ever exist the way I want because then society has to change in ways it never will and my body has to become something it physically can't.

Maybe if I was fully a man it would be easier. Maybe if I was fully a woman it would be easier.

Maybe if I was fully human it would be easier.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and I was always expecting him saying something, that I could never forgive him. Because I grew up with psychological abuse therefore a reality in peace never seemed realistic.

And today he did. And now I don't know what to do. He already said in the past, that he doesn't think I have trauma ("saying you have trauma is a little exaggerated") which I was angry about, because he knows that he only knows my parents in their good mood. He can't imagine what happened and can't say if I have trauma. But I thought "Eh, once I find a therapist, they'll very likely agree and then I can show him the proof."

I was having a lot of issues with guilt for basic things like eating lately and after much overthinking I decided to tell him, because I want him to know (a bit) what it looks like inside of me. That was like 2 weeks ago. And today we argued and he yelled at me that "With all your guilt and feeling like the worst person you are just making yourself the poor victim. You are comfortable being the victim all the time." And while it makes no sense to me because in my eyes I make myself the culprit for everything, it did hurt much. I don't think I need to tell you why and how badly. And another part of me chanted "Finally!" Because it happened what I expected for years.

I love him much and he's been there for me a lot and helps me so much with my mental health. But with this I learned that I can't trust him to not use my emotions and truths against me. I don't know what to do. I am afraid to talk about this with him because I fear he will enforce this statement. And what for? I don't know what to do now..

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry to hear about what happened. You shouldn't need to prove to your boyfriend that your trauma is valid, and it's not up to your boyfriend to decide whether or not you have trauma. While you deserve to have a partner that believes and supports you, your trauma doesn't need your boyfriend's confirmation to exist.

It sounds like you've attempted to communicate to him about your experiences with guilt, especially how it affects your eating, which is a great way to establish transparency. But it sounds like he didn't take this well and it escalated into an argument where he said some hurtful things. I'm curious to know if he apologized.

Communication and trust are two essential elements to a healthy relationship that often affect each other. Without good communication, trust can begin to dwindle, and without trust, communication can become less appealing. This can create a vicious cycle. Feeling like you can't trust him with your emotions and experiences can certainly strain your communication with him. In a healthy relationship, you shouldn't feel afraid to express these things. I talk more about what a healthy relationship looks like here.

It's complicated to be in a relationship that is sometimes loving, supportive, and even helpful in navigating your mental health, but also threatens your mental health in some ways as well. It can be hard to move forward in a relationship like this where some damage has already been done. It's ultimately up to you what you would like to do, but it's important to consider how this relationship may be impacting your mental health, and what kind of people you deserve to surround yourself with.

If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[frozenbound]

Shimadacest headcanon #45:

(Continuation of Shimadacest Headcanon #29, #30, #31, #32, #33, #34, #35, #36, #37, #38, #39, #40, #41, #42, #43, and #44)

"Ge...Genji..." Hanzo moans, but he almost claps a hand to his mouth, because it's so high-pitched yet breathy that it can only be called a whimper.

But he's close, so close, and he's never been brought to the point of orgasm from rimming before.

It's the most curious sensation. Every time Genji wriggles his tongue against his hole, Hanzo swears he can feel it heat the core of his pelvis, just behind his shaft.

Every time he laps along an otherwise innocuous spot along his perineum, Hanzo can feel the head of his cock buzz and tingle, as though Genji already had his fingers stroking against his prostate.

It's a potent combination and Hanzo shudders as he feels...

"Not so fast, brother," Genji says smugly and with almost wild exhilaration as he sits back and leaves Hanzo's asscrack wet, slick, and increasingly chilly.

He's a tad too late, so Hanzo has to clench his eyes shut and squeeze...something, somewhere...hoping to short-circuit his autonomic nervous system and prevent semen from bursting out of his cock.

"Br...brother?" Genji asks with a tad of uncertainty.

Hanzo can't answer for another ten seconds or so, but then he lets out a huge breath he didn't know he was holding. "Yes," he says, dropping his head into his arms. "I'm fine."

"You're so sensitive," Genji comments as he reaches out to massage Hanzo's ass, gentle and appreciative.

Hanzo hums and leans back into Genji's touch, feeling his muscles loosen after being held so tense.

"Are you ready for me to open you up?"

"Yes," Hanzo replies. "Bottom drawer."

"Oh, bottom drawer, huh? You don't need it that often, huh?"

Hanzo rolls his eyes.

Soon, Genji pulls one of Hanzo's asscheeks to the side and audibly swallows. "Look how mouthwatering you are, brother," he says quietly. "You're dripping with me. Do you even need any more help?"

"Not if you remain outside," Hanzo says with a chuckle. "But if you venture in, then yes."

"Fiiiiine," Genji sighs as though so put upon, but Hanzo feels the truth prodding at his entrance: if anything, Genji has poured far too much lube onto his fingers. Drops of it are already sliding down towards his ballsack. He doesn't want to risk injuring his elder brother, which sends a fond pulse of heat through Hanzo.

Then Genji carefully inserts one of his thick, blocky fingers and Hanzo smiles both at his slow, cautious pace and the faint sparks of pleasure he releases in Hanzo's body, a preamble of what's to come.

He's a little too slow and cautious though, so when he begins to tease two fingers, Hanzo backs up and swallows them up all the way.

Genji breathes in sharply. "Do you want my dick that badly, brother?"

"Yes," Hanzo says. "You will find that dick is nearly always superior to fingers."

"Not according to some of the people I've been talking to," Genji replies, and he withdraws his finger a little and prods around until he strikes a direct hit on Hanzo's prostate.

Hanzo groans into his arms. "Yes, fine, fine," he says, "but I prefer dick."

"So lewd, brother!" Genji exclaims, playing up his shock somewhat, but Hanzo can tell he's genuinely surprised.

"Shall I show you how lewd I can be?" Hanzo asks, raising his head and looking back at Genji over his shoulder.

Genji gulps, but shakes his head. "Later, brother," he says. "Right now you're so beautiful, with your ass up like this, and your broad back, and your hair lying like snowdrifts on either side of you."

Hanzo's hair has indeed slipped off his back and shoulders onto the sheets, glistening in the light.

"Very well," Hanzo says, turning back and arching his back. "But you know what I am waiting for."

"You'll get it, brother," Genji chuckles, pressing a third finger into him. "You'll get it. You're nearly ready."

[ao3cassandraic]

I... have some ideas about what the solution might entail. Parts of it, anyway.

tl;dr: I think the solution is at minimum threefold:

Defeating anomie, as noted in the post I am reblogging

Achieving an honest equilibrium between Aziraphale and Crowley

Solidarity and collective action

DEFEATING ANOMIE

Crowley, Michael, and Uriel demonstrate that inaction and despair are inimical to the good. What's the point? Crowley asks more than once in s2. Angel!Crowley builds a star factory that will never build stars. It's not just there to twinkle -- is it? Crowley and Aziraphale saved the world in s1, yet they are neither wholly free nor out of danger. Poor Crowley's material life has straitened and narrowed toward Elspeth's and wee Morag's -- all that separates him from them is that he doesn't need food or clothes or medicines or petrol for the Bentley.

As for Michael and Uriel, in the absence of orders (from God, Gabriel, or the Metatron) or some other external direction (such as an imposed event like Armageddon), all they can do is snipe ineffectually at one another in a tail-chasing skirmish whose stakes they don't even seem to value. Hell isn't any better -- it isn't clear until quite late in the season why Beez wants Gabriel back so badly, yet they don't stir a stump to go after him. Even Shax is uneasily discovering why Crowley is asking about the point of things.

There are a few approaches to coping with this sort of anomie and directionlessness without falling irrevocably into the doldrums.

"What I do is worthwhile in itself" is one. (A double-edged sword, granted -- fine in the context of art, for example, not so fine when it becomes solipsistic entitlement a la certain Internet robber barons we could all name.)

The starfish-returned-to-the-sea "What I do matters, even if its scope isn't as great as I would wish" is another.

"I will do what is right, even if it won't accomplish what I wish it would" is a third, fairly Aziraphalean option. Actually this is a special case of...

"I will choose my own goals, pursue them, and measure myself against them." This is what Shax does, actually -- since she can't make much headway with her nominal job, she shifts her emphasis toward advancing in Hell's hierarchy.

Other Tumblr commentators have noticed that Crowley is curiously supine throughout the season, following in Aziraphale's wake (complaining the whole way, naturally) and indulging Aziraphale in his least whim. That's because Aziraphale has motivation and energy and goal-directedness that Crowley presently doesn't.

So that's part of the s3 solution, I think: defeating anomie, some way or other.

ACHIEVING EQUILIBRIUM

Aziraphale and Nina, on the other hand, demonstrate that little or nothing can be accomplished by selfishness and driving others away. Nina (who is, as has already been pointed out, the Aziraphale in this relationship) is really quite nasty to Maggie over her record shop (the return of the "what's the point?" theme). Yet by herself, Nina can't extricate herself from the controlling Lindsay; Lindsay's the one who breaks it up.

Aziraphale at s2 start has retreated into his bookshop, emerging only when Maggie needs a rent break and Jimbriel forces him out. At s2 end, Aziraphale has let the Metatron herd him into trying to change Heaven singlehanded -- and anyone who's been hired into a set-up-to-fail "change agent" position knows how that is going to go. (In case you haven't, yet: Badly. The answer is "badly." I have been in that position, and I know.) Alone, Aziraphale is vulnerable. Always was, is, likely always will be.

Yet Aziraphale is ceaselessly selfish in s2, presuming on Crowley's aid and support and giving pretty much nothing back. When Crowley says "no" to helping Jimbriel, instead of accepting that or even negotiating it, Aziraphale actually throws Crowley out of the bookshop -- given the history, is there anything crueler he could possibly have done? To cap the imbalance, Crowley is forced to apologize for setting a perfectly reasonable boundary!

Look at their faces just after the Apology Dance. Crowley is still seething (and rightly so). Aziraphale is still pettily offended, no genuine forgiveness or understanding evident. Nothing has been fully repaired here, not least because Aziraphale still thinks he can do whatever he wants to Crowley -- and make Crowley do whatever he wants -- as long as he can justify it as part of looking after Jimbriel.

And Aziraphale basically steals the Bentley -- Crowley's home! -- out from under Crowley's nose. In return, Crowley gets to be Jimbriel-minder. Yay.

And Aziraphale redecorates the Bentley (adorably, granted) without Crowley's consent.

And Aziraphale ropes Crowley into the Nina-and-Maggie scheme.

And, in the Furfur flashback (sorry, I just like saying "Furfur flashback"), Aziraphale forces Crowley into helping with a deeply dangerous magic trick, bulldozing down the demon's well-founded apprehensive objections.

And on and on and on. Aziraphale takes and takes and takes and rationalizes it with "but Crowley wants to really!" despite clear signals from Crowley himself that Crowley absolutely doesn't want to, but doesn't feel he has a choice because Aziraphale will kick Crowley out for not going along with him. That's no basis for a relationship.

The worst moment for me in the awful final scene was Aziraphale's "You can be my second-in-command!" The unthinking you-are-beneath-me there is... well, it's loathsome; Crowley is Aziraphale's equal or superior in everything that matters (and if you ask me, Heaven/Hell rank doesn't matter). Yet both seasons set up very well why Aziraphale would say it.

But we are shown the solution to this. We are shown it! It's the hiding-Jimbriel miracle. Look at the framing of that shot. LOOK AT IT. It's totally balanced and centered, Crowley and Aziraphale working together as perfect equals, and when they do that, they accomplish more than either could alone (and Crowley the Timestop Demon is pretty powerful actually).

So that's another part of the solution: Crowley and Aziraphale finding an honest equilibrium.

SOLIDARITY AND COLLECTIVE ACTION

I smelled a labor-related plot in the wind well before s2 dropped. I didn't get it, but I sure did get tantalizing hints of it. Given the current strikes, I have high hopes that s3 will show solidarity as part of the solution. We all do better when we all do better, as they say in Minnesota.

Did Beez skate out of the picture ahead of well-deserved retribution for putting the lower-ranking demons on half rations? I hope so!

Will Eric show up in the actual legions he's likely capable of? Will he learn that Eric-solidarity can ward off predators like Hastur and Shax?

What can Eric and Muriel teach each other? What would they do together, as friends? (I admit I ask this in part because Paul Adeyefa and Quelin Sepulveda would burn out entire camera rigs with their joint adorability.)

Can Heaven and Hell learn that the only things really separating them are God's and Satan's useless rivalry, and the Metatron's implacable hatred of Earth? Will "backchannels" become something more, and more effective?

And I think Aziraphale has one road toward actual success in reshaping Heaven: successfully delegating the job to the phalanxes and the scrivener corps and maybe even the middle-management Saraqael-types. (Organization isn't easy, after all.) Michael and Uriel won't be much opposition, and they don't seem to enjoy leadership -- they might even be swayable. Aziraphale will have to take out the Metatron... but I think he can, bastard that he is. With help, naturally.

So yeah. Solidarity and collective action.

Incidentally, I don't think it coincidence in the slightest that defeating anomie, being honestly and genuinely kind to one another, and acting collectively are our best roads out of the many crises besetting us.

Not coincidence at all.

Okay. One last thing and then I will go to bed

Crowley and Aziraphale are BOTH wrong

Hear me out

I see people dogpiling on Aziraphale for abandoning Crowley and I get it. My heart is broken too. But, Crowley’s solution isn’t the “correct” way either

Because regardless, Heaven and Hell will always be a threat. They can run off like Beez and Gabriel did but then they are just ignoring the problem. Eventually, Heaven or Hell will come back and have to be dealt with. Running is not the correct choice

Aziraphale knows that and believes genuinely that he is sacrificing for the greater good. He isn’t going to put out god’s will he’s going to put out his will, THEIR will

But he’s not taking a step back to see the true problem is all of it, not just heaven, but hell too. He cannot make a difference from within without perpetuating that harm even indirectly. But Crowley’s solution of inaction also means nothing will change and they are just delaying the inevitable

Neither are the “solution.” What is the solution? I don’t know! That’s what season 3 is for

Now I’m going to go cry into my fishbowl again

[xpeachesncream]

2AM | one shot

summary: just like yoongi says - if namjoon wasn’t gonna act on his feelings for you, then why couldn’t you? even if that meant sliding into namjoon’s DMs.

pairing: reader x namjoon

genre: college au | sprinkle of fluff, smut

words: 3.8k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, club scene, alcohol consumption, dancing/grinding, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, breast play, hickeys, oral (f. receiving), cum eating, ass smacking, doggy style, hair pulling, headboard knocking against the wall and head to the mattress type of rough sex, pillow to the face type of loud sex, backshots, namjoon is a kind fella though and really respects you

note: i’ve been hearing namjoon is/has become people’s bias wrecker lately..... 🤪 this is for you. i’ve tried to make this as realistic and relatable as possible. pls excuse any errors!

The club was awfully packed tonight, you and your friends and a bunch of all your mutual friends tightly pushed against one corner of the club, celebrating whoever's birthday it was - you couldn't fucking remember. You were just there because you knew of the person, but your friends still dragged you out to have a good time.

And, God, you were drunk. You were having a good time. You were already drunk before the club, having pissed on the sidewalk with Yoongi covering you with his jacket while Jin pissed next to you in the alley since there were no bathrooms open to the public at this time.

"Namjoon is here!" You hear Yoongi yell and nudge you. Namjoon had always had a crush on you. You two were friends, had a lot of mutual friends, but it was nothing more of a hi and bye in passing on campus. Occasional small talk, nothing more, nothing less. But, it didn't mean you didn't think he was attractive. Standing almost at 6 ft tall, the man was buff in all the right places and had a smile that could kill from miles away. You just never pressed on it because Namjoon never pressed on it. People teased him about his silly crush on you but he never took it further. He'd call you the prettiest girl he'd ever seen on campus, leaving anonymous comments on the campus' compliment board talking about how your smile was the best one he's ever seen. Everyone knew it was Kim Namjoon. But it was just a silly crush after all, right?

Tonight though, you were thinking of doing other things. Maybe it was this dick drought you had been in, maybe it was the alcohol heightening your attraction to him. Whatever the fuck it was, you wanted it and you were down.

"Aye!" Namjoon comes over to Yoongi and Jin, giving them their daps and hugs before he makes his way over to you. "What's up, Y/N?" He pulls you into a tight hug. 

"Hey! Didn't think you'd be here." You chuckled.

"Why not? I like to have fun every so often, too." You nod. It's not like Namjoon hated going out, but he did have a preference of staying in than being at the club. He wasn't at every outing or club event. He'd make it to some if it was really important to his friends, but he'd usually skip out and he'd be teased about it the following week. You liked that about him; that he wasn't the type to be a partier or spend his free time chugging on alcohol. He was one of the smartest guys on campus who was pretty well known and he carried himself well. Dude could run for president and he’d have everyone’s votes, no cap.

"Well, I'm glad you're here."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that you're glad I'm here." He joked with that smile of his, dimples piercing his cheeks before he continued his rounds of hello's.

"Well, I'm glad you're here." Jin fluttered his eyelashes as he swung back and forth, mocking your tone in tiny causing Yoongi to laugh.

"Fuck off, Seokjin." You shove him.

"Why don't you finally do something about it? You know he likes you.”

"Why does it have to be me?"

"Why can't it be you?" Yoongi asked. "Does the dude always have to make a move?"

"Yeah, and besides, what if he's only doing that because he respects you and thinks you don't like him like that?" Jin butted in.

"I didn't asked to be attacked." Yoongi shrugged.

"Just saying. It doesn't have to be on Namjoon. Maybe he's waiting on you. Don't slip up, fool." He jokes as you shake your head, leading your friends to the bar for another drink to keep your drunkness alive. Yoongi orders three shots of nasty ass Jameson, but you take it anyways because he's your homeboy and the shit was free. He asks for another round, which you almost pass on but you catch sight of your ex-boyfriend, Jungkook.

"Pass it." Yoongi smirks as he passes you another shot glass. You take it to the neck with ease, deciding you'd deal with consequences later. You just wanted to have your fun.

"Hey." Jungkook wraps his arms around you, causing you to shrug him off and push his arms away.

"Jungkook, stop." You used to hate him. You really used to despise the guy, but it had gotten so tiring that you eventually got over it and moved on. You had a good relationship after all, you had a great freshman year even if you started off college in a relationship. But, he didn't want it after a year and a half. He wanted his college freedom, wanted to explore, wanted to get to know the incoming freshmen girls and transfers. So, he eventually stopped trying and that killed you.

But myyyy, have the tables turned. Jungkook wanted you back badly even though you've made it blatantly obvious you were over him.

"Dance with me tonight? You look good." He looks at you up and down, eyeing the tight mini skirt and crop top you had on.

"Maybe.” You look at him like he was crazy. “I'm busy."

"With who?"

"Not with you."

"Come on, baby. Please." Obviously drunk and out of this mind.

"Ew, don't call me that Jungkook. I am not your baby."

"Aw come on, you’ll always be though." He smiles, hugging you once more.

"You got a whole line up, remember? Stop worrying about me." You scoff as you shove him aside, making your way back to your friends.

"The fuck was that about?"

"Jungkook being Jungkook."

"He definitely wants to have his cake and eat it, too."

"Well, that's not gonna fly with me. He needs to go."

"Good. Come on, let's go dance. Maybe Namjoon will come since you don’t wanna do it. Acting all scared and shit." 

“Shut up, Yoongi. Just walk.” You laugh. Yoongi nods towards some free space, Jin already welcoming a lady friend onto his lap for a dance. You playfully dance around with Yoongi for a little before you feel him passing you off to pretty boy Park Jimin. You loved dancing with Jimin because lord knows he knew a thing or two about rhythm more than most of these men in the club. Including your friends.

Heh, just kidding.

After a song or two, the latest shots are starting to make their way through your veins, your skin feeling hot and your balance being a little thrown off. Nothing you couldn't handle though, you still knew how to compose yourself well and keep it together.

"Enjoying yourself?" You hear Namjoon come from behind you as you had been standing around by the railings, catching a breather after Jimin had broke you off to those two songs, working up a damn sweat.

"Yeah, are you?" You turn to face him as your arms hung loosely over the railing.

"I meaaaan, I think it could be better." He sips on his drink.

"Stop babysitting your drink, Namjoon." You playfully nudge him.

"I'm not babysitting, I'm just savoring this expensive drink." You roll your eyes and laugh. You watch as he takes another sip, your hand keeping his glass tilted from the end until there's nothing left for him to drink.

"There, that's better."

"You're a bad influence."

"No, I'm not."

"You are. Pretty, and a bad influence." He adds, chuckling while licking his bottom lip. It's silent for a minute as he's eyeing the crowd in front of you, watching people sloppily dance on each other or tongue each other down. Either or, everyone was drunk and feeling up on somebody.

Everyone besides you two.

"Fuck it, let's dance." He suddenly says, grabbing your hand and leading the way to the nearest empty space. He backs himself against the wall, grabbing you by the waist to throw your ass back on him. He grips you tightly as you work him, his hips moving in tandem with yours. If you weren't mistaken, you could feel this entire thing soaking your panties by the minute. The way he had taken initiative and grabbed your hand the way that he did. The way he backed himself against the wall and shoved you onto his crotch area.

You didn't know Namjoon had it in him after he had been shying away from his crush on you. Park Jimin was sliding down the dance pyramid, with Kim Namjoon quickly climbing his way to the top.

Something so innocent had turned intimate pretty quick, your body backed against his now as you slowly worked your hips to Rossi's All I Want, your hand grabbing around his neck. You felt his breath against your skin, his eyes locked on you and only you.

After a couple of dances, you turned to him, his arms still wrapped around your waist. He gave you a big, toothless smile, his dimples becoming a huge weakness for you. You being the tease that you are, gave him a kiss on the cheek before you started to pull away from his grip.

"Oh, so it's like that?" He jokes as he bites on his bottom lip, his hands slowly slipping down your wrists the more you pull away.

"I don't know, is it?"

"You tell me. Are you going to hit me up to kick it?"

"We'll see." You smirk at him before walking towards your friends, his tongue pressed against his cheek as he watches your hips sway from side to side. After tonight, you knew you wanted Namjoon and he was the goal. No if's, and's or but's.

You and your friends call it a night by the time the club is almost coming to a close. Everyone is rushing to head out and catch their Ubers, but you see no Namjoon in sight. He must have disappeared sometime during the night, and you were too busy with your friends to notice. Which, is a fucking bummer because you wanted to see him before you left, hoping it could flourish into something more than just the dances you shared with him tonight.

You just had to be a tease.

Getting home, you're a little uneasy because you're stuck on the fact that you want something more out of the night and you couldn't get that. You hesitated quite a few times, picking up your phone, then throwing it back onto your bed. Your roommate hadn't gotten home yet, the loneliness kicking in quick.

Fuck it!

You shake your head and grow some balls to hit up Namjoon to see what he was up to at damn near 2AM.

But sike, your ass doesn't even have his number.

"What the fuck, Y/N!" You groan to yourself, quickly pulling up your group chat w/ Yoongi and Jin before you change your mind.

[y/n] 1:52am: ANYBODY HAVE NAMJOON'S NUMBER???

Pure silence for the next 5 minutes.

[y/n] 1:58am: i know none of you two are getting some tonight, where tf are you!

Some more silence.

"For fuck's sake, guys." You whined as you pulled up Namjoon's IG page. Were you really gonna do this? Were you really gonna slip yourself into his DMs?

Absolutely the fuck yes.

x_ynbaby: hi

namjoooonie: :) look who it is

x_ynbaby: sorry this prob looks stupid as fuck but i just realized i didnt have your number

namjoooonie: no biggie. at least ill be able to say y/n slid in my dm's first

x_ynbaby: pls dont start

namjoooonie: how can i help you?

x_ynbaby: what are you up to?

namjoooonie: im about to get ready for bed just like you should be doing

x_ynbaby: excuse you, im grown. i can go to bed when i want lol

namjoooonie: you're grown, ey?

x_ynbaby: yeah i am

namjoooonie: cool, come show me here?

x_ynbaby: kim namjoon, what is that supposed to mean

namjoooonie: it means you come over and watch something with me that isnt pg-13, duh? take it or leave it cutie, ive got some good comedy stand-ups on my list

x_ynbaby: lol send me the address

You laughed out loud. He was so frustratingly cute that you found yourself throwing on your jacket and heading back out to grab an Uber to his place not too far from yours. His roommate was home, but he had been locked up in his room the entire time Namjoon had gotten back. He figured he was already sound asleep, so he had you quietly come up the steps, his hand holding onto yours as you tippy-toed past his roommate's door.

"Fuck, finally. What a journey." He says, shutting his door.

"You're so dramatic."

"Says the one who was like we'll see." He mocks you, batting his eyelashes and tilting his head to the side.

"Shut up. Where's your list of comedy stand-ups, huh?" He plops on his bed, patting the empty space next to him.

"Right here." He opens his macbook. "This is where all the magic happens."

"Ah, yes. The comedy stand-ups and the porn, right?"

"Yup, especially the porn." You laugh as you playfully shove him aside. He actually begins to play Dave Chapelle's Sticks and Stones, his cute laugh already erupting and echoing throughout his room. You couldn't help but laugh yourself, your body sinking closer to his. Feeling his body against yours had the heat pooling in your core, wanting more from him while you were here. "I can't believe he—" He turns to look at you, your gaze still kept on him. "What?"

"Namjoon, I know this isn't the only thing you were thinking about tonight." You say, almost at a whisper.

"It's not, but I don't wanna disrespect you in any way." He says, in typical Namjoon fashion. You shake your head, your hand on his chest as you slightly push yourself up.

"Handle me." He simply looks at you as you nod. "Handle me like you would, all bullshit aside." He hesitates a bit, his face edging closer to yours.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes. We've established that we're grown, right? Show me." You say breathily. As soon as it slips your mouth, Namjoon shoves his laptop aside to wrap his strong arms around you, allowing you to wrap your legs around his torso. He gently lays you on his bed as he keeps his lips locked onto yours. The kiss becomes messy, your tongue continuously pushing against his, the sounds of wet kisses now filling his room. You moan into his mouth as he fiddles to remove your joggers, catching a glimpse of him finally removing them and tossing it across his neatly organized room. You pulled away for a quick second to remove his shirt before he removed yours, your hands trailing down his beautiful chest.

"Fuck, taking this off." He says, aggressively unhooking your bra and throwing it off to the side to be an eyesore along with your sweats lying on the floor. You giggle as he begins to kiss down your neck and jawline, then welcoming himself to your breasts. He plays with your nipples, his thumb toying with it and gently pinching. You let out a hiss as you feel his tongue flicking around your nipples one by one, his breath causing cold air to linger on them. You watch as he begins to suck on the skin of your breasts, leaving purple-ish marks on either boob.

"Ohhhhshit." You bite onto your bottom lip, so fucking turned on by him and his ways. He makes his way down to your panties, giving your clothed clit a kiss before shoving your panties aside and licking a strip upwards. "Ahhhhh, Namjoon." You breathe.

"Uh huh?" He says, lowering his mouth onto your clit, sucking as his tongue caressed it slowly at the same time. His mouth and tongue are continuing to work in tandem while he slips in two digits, working them in and out to stretch you out.

"Yeah, like that." You moan, your hand is gripping his hair tightly as you jut your hip upwards. Namjoon does a good job holding you down, even as your high approaches. "Ughhhhhhgggfuck!" Your words mesh together as you try to jut your hips upwards once more before you feel yourself unraveling under his grip. You tremble as you coat his fingers, moaning loudly and not giving a damn about his sleeping roommate anymore.

"Shhh, my roommate." He chuckles as he towers over you, careful not to put all his body weight on yours.

"I'm sorry but, gohhhhd." You whine. "Please just fuck me, I wanna feel you." He bites onto his bottom lip, watching you twirl your tongue around his wet digits and suck on them, giving yourself a good taste of your pussy.

"Stop." He tilts his head back and shakes his head. "You're gonna make me cum just doing that."

"What's wrong with that?"

"I haven't gotten to feel you, yet. That's what." He says as he removes his beautifully long and thick hardened member from his boxers, his sweats dropping to the floor from his ankles. He pumps himself a few times before he taps it against your folds, teasing you with his tip as he slides it up and down.

"Namjoon, I swear—" You arch your back, feining for more.

"You swear, or what?" He asks playfully, his tip the first to slowly enter inside of you. Your breathing hitches the deeper he goes in, literally having you question whether or not you were gonna be able to take him. "You okay?" You nod silently as you try to position yourself comfortably on him, Namjoon letting out a small groan as he feels you fully envelope him from wall to wall. He starts slow, making sure you were comfortable before he begins to pick up his pace. You grip the sheets as he begins to get aggressive with you, his headboard endlessly knocking on his wall.

He apparently doesn't give a fuck about his roommate either. And here he was, shushing you.

You begin to moan his name loudly, feeling the high approaching you once again.

"Y/N." He whispers, chuckling. He [politely] throws his pillow onto your head, signaling for you to hold onto it and scream into it if need be. Which, you do. "Fuuuck Y/N, you're so hot." He moans under his breath as his thrusts are fast, the sound of skin pounding against skin bouncing off of his walls.

"Joon, I'm cumming again." You moan into the pillow as he slows his thrusts for you, letting out breathy moans as he feels you constricting around him.

"Turn around." He says, you quickly obeying, shooting your ass up with your face down. You wiggle your ass onto his dick, causing him to slightly hiss. He inserts his tip in but allows you to sink onto him yourself. "Godddddamn." He moans as you begin to move your body up and down on his dick, cream lathering the top of it like icing. He gives your ass a good smack, the heat pooling to the area quickly. One hand grips your hips, while the other grips your hair and slightly tugs on it as he takes control and thrusts into you.

"Fuck! Namjoon." You groan as he pulls your hair. Your ass is bouncing off of him, the pain turning into pleasure. Your mouth is agape, no sounds being able to escape as he pounds into you.

"Shit Y/N, I'm gonna cum. Where do you want me to cum?"

"Backshot." You simply say, Joon fully understanding. With the last couple of thrusts, you find yourself constricting around him again, body getting weak and trembling back down into the sheets. His hand pushes your head into the mattress while the other pulls out and pumps his hardened dick, lathering your back in his load. You feel him almost collapse onto you, his hand holding onto your hip as he regulates his breathing.

"Fuck, I am so sorry." He says, grabbing a tissue to wipe your back.

"Why are you sorry?" You laugh as you turn over afterwards.

"It just makes me feel bad, I feel like I'm marking my territory or something."

"I meaaaaaaan." You say, Namjoon's eyes going straight to your breasts.

"Agh fuck, Y/N." He says, feeling bad as he slips on his clothes before handing you yours.

"It's not a big deal.

"I just want you to know that I do value you more than just my territory or whatever that means." He shakes his head. "Fuck, I just mean I value you more than that, okay?" You giggle.

"You're fine, Joon." He smiles toothlessly as he nods, feeling accomplished having gotten his point across.

"So, more comedy stand ups?"

"Boy, you wore me out. I'm going to sleep."

"Make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back, gonna grab us water. Can I get you anything else?"

"No, thank you." You smile as he shuts his door. You check your phone from your night stand seeing that your friends had finally texted you back.

[yoongi] 2:47am: woops, shit hahahah did you still need it?

[yoongi] 2:47am: and fuck off ok, what if i was getting some?

[jin] 2:49am: he's not. we're not. we just finished playing phasmaphobia thats why we responded late

[yoongi] 2:49am: youre an ass kisser seokjin

[jin] 2:50am: i think y/n is already at namjoons

[yoongi] 2:51am: better tell us about it tomorrow bro @ y/n

[jin] 2:52am: have fun be safe

[y/n] 3:30am: you guys get home from the club and play phasmaphobia? thats why you guys get none

[jin] 3:31am: r u at namjoons or not, this wasnt even about us

[y/n] 3:32am: yes and just got dicked down like the world was ending tomorrow

[yoongi] 3:33am: .........

[yoongi] 3:33am: .......................

[jin] 3:34am: 'whyyyyy does it have to be me' she said

[jin] 3:34am: dick mustve gotten your tongue now

[y/n] 3:35am: Error: 404. This number could not be reached at this time. Try again later.

[jin] 3:36am: lmfao weak, you'll hear from us later today missy

You chuckled to yourself as you heard Namjoon nearing the door. Suddenly, you hear another door open, his roommate's voice faintly echoing in the hallway.

"Dude, can you and your girl be any louder?"

"Sorry Hobi, I thought you were asleep."

"That's the thing, I was." Namjoon laughs.

"Oh shit, my bad. We'll keep it down next time." You watched as he nodded before closing the door. You laughed silently as he handed you a water bottle, scooting himself next to you.

"Yeah Namjoon, be quiet next time."

"Me? You had a pillow and you were still loud."

"Not my fault. Didn't even know you had it in you." You teased.

"What's that even supposed to mean?" He scoffed before gently tickling you.

"It's just, I thought you were forgetting about your little crush on me."

"Want me to show you again?"

"I'm sleep, bye." You laughed as you turned over, your ass comfortably touching his leg while he laid next to you and watched his show.

[anime-corner]

Unmiss You I Iwaizumi H.

A/N: So, I basically don’t know how it turned out like this... Not proud of this one though, kind of am? It’s honestly confusing. But hey, hope you like it!

Two A.M. At least that was the time that was shown on his phone. He couldn't remember how long since then. Or how it happened. He just knew that he fucked up.

The device rang in his hand, answering quickly, not bothering to check the caller I.D., hoping that it was you, "yeah?"

"Aww, Iwa-chan! That was quick! Did you miss me that much?" He scoffed, throwing the phone on his bed, the call on speaker as he laid back down, his arm draped over his eyes.

"What do you want, Oikawa?" He asked without the usual insult to the setter's name.

"Are you… still thinking about her?" The caller said, careful in his words, "Besides, it's what? Almost three? You're usually not up this early."

"Why do you care?" He huffed as he thought about it. He never did stay up late or woke up early unless it was to give Oikawa the support he needed. But this time it was different, he knew that, and that was because he was waiting for you.

"Geez, of course, I care! You're my best friend! And it's obvious that you're miserable without her." Oikawa could hear shuffling on the other end.

"What do I do then? She won't answer my calls o-or reply back to my messages." Iwaizumi held out a pillow, throwing it across the room in frustration, "Hell, I can't even get a glimpse of her without those crows stopping me!!"

"Maybe… She wants to move on?" It was silent for a few moments as he debated in his mind. Was she really?

"... I hope not. Because wouldn't it be unfair if… she gets to forget everything when all I want is to get her back?" He gripped onto his dark hair, tears threatening to spill, his firm look shattering to pieces, "She's all that I think about after that game. She's in my dreams, within my vision… I could even hear her at times but…"

"But what?" A heavy sigh left Iwaizumi's lips as he succumbed to his thoughts.

"You're right… Maybe, she doesn't want me back. I can't just rewind time to make it right. I can't go back to before I fell for her, to stop myself from meeting her and undo everything because I know that I'll just end up liking her. Loving her." It wasn't like him to act like this.

He was stubborn. He wouldn't stop at anything like a breakup. Instead, he'd do anything to get you back. But, with how he was right now, he doubts that he'd be able to. That's just what was running inside his head. Full of doubt and regret.

"It would have been easier that way…" Oikawa comments, giving out a sigh as well.

"Yeah, no shit. But like you said, maybe she wants to move on. And I just have to live with the fact that you can't easily unmiss a person you so badly miss." Iwaizumi let out a growl of annoyance, hearing noises from the other side of the screen,  "Oi Kusokawa, are you still listening!?!"

"Get up. Out of bed. I'll pick you up in thirty minutes." He had to blink a couple of times, trying to register the words of his friend.

"What do you mean you'll pick me up!? Oi, don't come over or I'll kick your ass!"

"Just do it, will you Hajime?" Iwaizumi mumbles incoherent words to himself, debating whether or not he should. In the end, he gives in.

"Whatever."

Forcing himself out of his bed, he dressed with what he thought was okay looking. A long sleeve grey shirt and ripped jeans, not bothering to look good for something Oikawa had planned for him. It was useless, he thought. A distraction was useless. A knock came as he opened it, the setter eyed his friend from top to bottom.

"You look like shit." Oikawa said as he went in, hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, thanks sherlock." He rolled his eyes, closing the door.

"What's with the outfit? Come on, I'll get you something else." The setter darted towards his room, opening the closet for something the dark-haired male to wear.

"Why are you here, Oikawa? I'm assuming you aren't here just to take my mind off of her." Iwaizumi questioned, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Actually, I asked (y/n) if she could just hear you out. She'll be meeting us at the park." Oikawa admitted, already preparing for the worse.

"YOU DID WHAT!? YOU IDIOT! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?" Hands wrapped around the collar of Oikawa's shirt, face dangerously close and seething with rage.

"Because you're both hurting! See for yourself!" He got out his phone, scrolling through the messages he and two of Karasuno's members had been exchanging, "Both Tobio-chan and that Small Fry has been sending me pictures of her during their practice and she's trying her best to cope, struggling just the same as you."

"Shut up Assikawa!! (y/n)... She doesn't want me back. If she did, we would have fixed our relationship by now." "I lost her because I messed up. And--" Oikawa threw a pair of jeans with an oversized dark blue denim jacket and a grey hoodie.

"Here. Wear this." It was also the same one he wore when they watched the game between Karasuno and Shiratorizawa, "That's what you wore on your first date, right?"

"I… yeah."

"Good. I'm sure she'd like it if you wore that instead. I'll give you ten minutes to freshen up." He left Iwaizumi to get ready, closing the door behind him, "Or at least, as much as you possibly can. Geez, I can't believe you're an emotional wreck!"

Was it okay? Was it okay to see you? Did you hate him? Or did you still care? Was there still a chance for the two of you to get back together? More questions than answers and honestly, he only wanted to know if you'd take him back again.

"Hey, are you really sure she'll be there?" He got out of his room, wearing the clothes Oikawa handed him.

"I'm sure but…" Looking at him up and down again, a smile on his lips. His usual cheerful and outwardly carefree expression was on his face, "Look at my Iwa-chan, all grown up and ready to get his girl back!"

"Shut up! This was your idea!"

"Huh? Does that mean you don't really plan on fixing all of this? Are you giving up?" Iwaizumi choked on nothing, that wasn't his intention. He wasn't giving up. He just didn't know how to.

"That's not…" He was struggling to get his words out.

"Just kidding, Iwa-chan~!" Oikawa received a hit behind the head, one of the usual violent punishments he would get from his best friend, "Gah! What'd you hit me for?!"

"Shut up!"

"Is your vocabulary only limited to that?"

"Shut up!"

The walk towards the meeting place was quiet. He was uneasy. What were you even expecting from him? A sorry? To beg for forgiveness? A hug perhaps? Because he'd be ready to give you anything and everything. Shit, he should have brought that scarf you made for him.

"Huh? She isn't here yet?" Oikawa looked around but you were nowhere to be found.

"I knew it. She hates me." The dark haired male crashed down on a nearby bench.

"Now, don't go all psychic on me Iwaizumi. I was only late." Standing up quickly as if he didn't drown in his sorrows sitting on that wooden seat.

"(y/n)!" The setter greeted, tackling you into a hug.

"Sorry Tooru, did I make you wait?" You asked, pulling away from his hold.

"Nope! We just got here. I had to make sure Iwa got all dressed up instead of coming here only in sweatpants. Or those nasty jeans I saw him wear when I got there." He shuddered when he felt Iwaizumi's glare hitting his back as he raised both of his hands, making his way to the sides, "Well, I'll be way over there before Iwa-chan hits me again!"

"So…" The both of you start, the male clearing his throat when you didn't open your mouth to speak.

"Uh, you go first." He gestured towards you as you shook your head.

"Tooru asked me to listen. Now, talk. I still have to help Kiyoko and Hitoka in handling the boys." Iwaizumi nodded, realizing what little time he had to explain.

"Right." He began, rubbing the back of his head, "Oikawa told me everything… that happened that day.

• • •

You have been meeting up with Oikawa for the past few days now. You planned on surprising him on your third anniversary and with his best friend's help, you knew he'd like it, especially if he and his team win against Shiratorizawa. Well, you want your team to win too, but can't choose which side you'd support so, you decided that whoever wins would avenge the other.

Aoba Johsai lost.

His team lost and you stood there at the balcony crying your tears out, both in frustration and happiness. The latter because of your team and the former for the loss. You excused yourself, looking for any of the third years in the team. And you happen to stumble upon Oikawa.

"Tooru!" You shouted, running towards the setter.

"(y/n)? Shouldn't you be with your team?" He asked, looking around for the crows. Or at least, his little rival other than Ushijima Wakatoshi.

"They'll understand why I left. But most importantly, how are the two of you? How's Hajime?" It was your turn to look for your boyfriend.

"I'm… not sure. Iwa-chan's probably with Mattsun and Makki. The others should be together." You nodded, grasping both of his hands in yours.

"I'm sorry for what happened, you were all really great! I promise we'll beat up Ushiwaka's ass for you two!" You declared, earning a chuckle from him.

"It's fine, (y/n)-chan." Oikawa ruffled your hair once you released his hands before remembering something, "Hey, why don't you give your present to him, I'm sure he'd like it especially when you've been at it for weeks. Isn't it your anniversary today? It'll help him a lot." You hugged the man in front of you, appreciating the help and support he has given you.

"I hope so. Ah well, thanks again for the help Tooru, I really appreciate it. I'm happy that Hajime has a friend like--" You were then cut off by a shout, your name echoing throughout the hall.

"(y/n)!!"

"Hajime! Great timing! I've got something--” You rushed towards him and was about to give him a hug when the look on his face made you stop.

“No. You don’t have to. I can see it perfectly clear.” Iwaizumi said as your brows furrowed.

“What do you mean?” You asked, glancing at the other two third-years behind him who only shrugged.

“What do I mean?! I should have known that you liked Oikawa from the start! We lost the game and the first person you went to find was him!? Unbelievable (y/n), unbelievable!” He bellowed, glaring at the two of you. His eyes were clouded with grief from losing and seeing you with his best friend triggered something he didn't want inside of him.

“W-what? That’s not true. Look, I just managed to bump into him and--” He cut you off again, his hands clenched tightly.

"Yeah okay, blame it on that!"

“Hey Iwaizumi, I think you should calm down a bit.” Hanamaki joined in, placing a hand on the shoulder of their vice-captain.

“Yeah, they were just talking. (y/n) was probably comforting him and asking for you.” Matsukawa added, getting ready to help his best friend if Iwaizumi ever decides to punch away his anger.

“Bullshit! I know what I saw! How do you explain those past few days huh?! I wanted to ask you out before the Interhigh and it so happened that I saw the two of you together. I ignored it because I trusted you!” He held back, not to get him and his team kicked out and bring shame to the school in his final year. Though it was painful, he knew he needed to get rid of it verbally, "If you wanted him then you should have said so from the start! I would have understood. So, I'm letting you go. That's what you want right? To be free from me?!"

"H-hey now, you don't mean that right? Why don't we take a seat a-and we'll talk this out, yeah?" You offered, walking towards him cautiously.

"Talk? You still want to talk?!! I'm done (y/n), okay!? Just leave me alone! I never want to see you ever again!" He lashes out, his emotions controlling every bit of his sanity.

“Idiot! You’re a total idiot!!” You screamed at him, closing your eyes in an attempt to stop the tears from falling. You don't want to let him see how weak he's making you, not in a situation like this.

“How did I become--!!”

“I asked Tooru to help me think up an idea for the gift I wanted to give you for our anniversary. He’s your best friend so I thought it was okay and that he’d be able to keep a secret. But surprise, surprise, you don’t like that kind of thing. You don’t need to be jealous of someone I don’t have feelings for! But hey, I guess you don’t trust me like you say you do!” Shuffling through your bag, you pushed an Aegean hued scarf with Olive colored horizontal lines near the fringe, “Here, take it. Burn it for all I care. We’re done.”

'Did she..? No wait, don't move. I'm sorry..' He thought, he couldn't voice the words out and even if he did, the damage was already done, 'Why can't I…? (y/n) please, let's talk…'

"Goodbye, Haji-- no, Iwaizumi-san…" Saying his last name added salt, tons of it, to the biggest wound ever inflicted on your heart. And on his too.

'I said don't go..! I can't reach you if you do. I can't feel myself, please don't go.' Again, the words wouldn't dare leave his mouth as he was also afraid that he'd say something wrong. He didn't dare blink, wanting to still see your figure within his vision, 'Let me see those hands again, I'll kiss it all better. Just don't leave me…'

"Oi, Oikawa!!" Suddenly he was on the floor with a bruised cheek and an angry setter in front of him, being held back by the other two they were with. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"I get it that you're like that towards me but (y/n) didn't do anything wrong! She asked me for what you wanted and this is the thanks she gets!?" His grip on his collar was tight as he was still able to get close to him despite being held down by two of their friends, "You saw those bandages on her hands right? Well, she made that scarf all by herself just for you! She did that despite knowing nothing about knitting!"

"I…" He started but, as if you were still there, the words he so wanted to stay retreated back down his throat.

"What!? You what, Iwaizumi!!?" Oikawa snapped, almost on the brink of insanity like how Iwaizumi was before you left, "Got anymore bad things to say about her!?!"

"Zip it, will you?! I know that she didn't do anything wrong! It's just my fucked up and tired self making all the excuses!" He looked down, burying his face in his hands.

"Y-you could still run after her. I'm sure she'd--" One of them said, patting his back.

"She won't. Six years and never did she go against her word once she's made up her mind. It'll take a shit load of convincing but, I doubt she'd want me back." He gave out a huff, walking away until his best friend stopped him.

"Then you've just got to be stubborn like usual and try your best." Oikawa spoke, pumping the depressed Iwaizumi up.

"Huh? Ah, y-yeah…"

• • •

"How long has it been since you last slept?" You asked him, caressing his cheeks with your thumb as he leaned into your touch.

"What?" He blinked a couple of times before sighing, "I slept, maybe for just a few hours before waking up again because every time I close my eyes, that face you gave me that day keeps coming back to me and…"

"And?" He didn't want to tell you but, this would be the chance that he couldn't take hold of on that day.

"And there's this stupid scene that keeps playing in my dreams, during that fight we had, you left and when I saw you again, you were so happy with someone else and that broke me." He wanted to cry but all he could do was ball his fists with his brows furrowed in anger. Anger towards himself and his stupid decisions, "My last words to you that day was to leave me alone. That I never wanted to see you again. But, I was wrong. I still want you here by my side. I still want to see you. I still want to hear your voice every morning after I wake up and every night before I sleep just like before."

"Iwaizumi…" You started but your words just went in one ear and out the other as he continued.

"What I'm saying is, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I fucked up. That my jealousy got in between the two of us. It was dumb of me and Oikawa's supposed to be the childish one." He chuckled bitterly, mostly to himself. Now that he spoke his mind, it was silly of him to feel that way. To feel, was it inferiority? "I guess I still wasn't used to being the one getting the attention instead of him who's always surrounded by fangirls everywhere. Or believe in the idea of someone who would actually love me and not use me just to get to him."

"Iwaizumi, never in my life was I attracted to him. You know that right? I told you this once before." He held both of your hands, placing the other on his cheek. It was as if he was touch deprived and wanted to make up for the times he was away from you.

"I know. It's just that… letting you go that day was the hardest thing I've ever done. I couldn't even stop you, I just stayed there. I tried, believe me, I tried but I couldn't. I wanted to make you stay. But losing my last game in high school and all my emotions were over the place that it took a toll on me." Iwaizumi admitted. Sighing for who knows how many times now.

"It's okay. I understand." He stared at you, confusion written all over his face.

"No, you don't! I'm not blaming this on my loss. I'm blaming this on myself, for doubting you. You've been loving me so right despite studying in different schools and all I did was hurt you! Days after we broke up, I've been feeding myself these useless reasons not to see you, telling myself that you're mad at me and that you don't need me anymore. I'm sorry. Please hate me…" He was crying, he didn't care anymore if anyone saw him so… vulnerable. You wiped it all away, a smile on your lips.

"Hajime." You started. It was the first time in weeks since he last heard you say his name, "I love you."

"W-what?" These words were the least he expected to come out of your mouth but, he wasn't complaining either.

"You heard me. I love you." You repeated before you giggled, "Sure yeah, you were totally an ass for not listening to me but it doesn't change the fact that I still love you. And I also heard from Tooru that you haven't been like yourself since that day, my fault entirely. I should have thought about what your reaction would be.

"You know… I tried to come up with tons of reasons to just give up, so we both wouldn't have to hurt like this. It would have been easier for both of us. But, I can't. I don't want things to be easy between us. Everything you do makes me fall for you over and over, deeper than the last time. And hearing you say that you still love me, makes me realize that I should have tried even harder." Iwaizumi hugged you tightly, afraid that this was all a dream and was about to wake up. Or was he going soft just for you? Because it was obviously not because of Oikawa.

"So, what do you want to happen to us? What's your call?" You asked looking up at him.

“What’s this? Are you two okay now?” The childish devil on Iwaizumi's shoulder popped in between the two of you, “You are! That’s great! I’ll tell them right now--!”

“You, hanger bastard! I’ll beat you up--” He was about to give Oikawa a piece of his mind when he heard your voice echo in his ear.

“Hanger bastard? What’s with the new insult?” You laughed out loud, the wing spiker smiled, missing the sound, "Where'd you get that?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow, I'm sure Mattsun and Makki want to get a say in this too." He suggested, receiving a nod from you.

"Hey Iwa-chan, you guys don't have to diss me every time you get jealous!!" Iwaizumi scoffed, ignoring the setter.

"Anyways, I'll fetch and take you home after practice. We've got a lot of catching up to do." He offered, intertwining both of your fingers together, “We can even start now, I’ll walk you to Karasuno.”

"I'd like that, Hajime."

I gave you my heart and I don't regret not taking it back. My attention is yours and no one else's from the beginning until the end. 

[lentejulie]

Allright my two cents. Don't like keep it to yourself it is that person who I pity for actually saying this.

Also Dick used his temper in the batman and robin(2009) against Damian not even one time I think 3 times maybe I'm missing one. Anyways Dick isn't a saint his temper is for everyone.

So I'm sorry for doing this but man why ya gotta do this the one who pities others but is just a sad person.

“Temper, temper…”

[msmarvelouswinchester]

Irresistibly Yours

Chapter 1 - The Elevator

Summary - Y/N Y/L/N moves to NYC in hopes for a fresh start after a nasty breakup. There she meets her neighbor, the cynical lawyer, Dean Winchester. A love-hate relationship starts evolving between them ever since they met in the elevator one morning but a desperate situation and a string of lies forces the two friendly rivals to go on a date or rather a fake date. Will sparks fly between them when Dean gets to know Y/N real and up close? Will Y/N finally find her Prince Charming in the grumpy, workaholic, divorce lawyer?

Pairing - Lawyer!Dean Winchester x Y/N

Warning - None for this chapter

Word Count - 1981

Square Filled - Moodboard ( @girl-next-door-writes )

A/N - *Cracks knuckles* Ta-daaaa! The series is finally here it's already Sunday where I live and I was dying to share this! It's going to be a wild ride ahead. So buckle up your seatbelts and enjoy the ride!

This is also my submission to @flamencodiva's Writing Challenge and @deanwanddamons' 2K Blogiversary challenge (congratulations on your milestone, Sian). Prompts are in bold.

Beta'd by @miss-nerd95 (Thanks again, hon❤️)

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Series Masterlist Masterlist

Throwing her bag over the table, Y/N slumped down on the couch, letting out a sigh. The pressure from the higher-ups, consistent criticism of your work and impending deadlines were weighing heavily on her shoulders and she was in a desperate need of a break.

She looked over to the stack of papers on the table that now lay abandoned. The rejection from the publishing company was the fucking cherry on top. Y/N buried her face in her hands in frustration as she was almost on the verge of a mental breakdown, a few angry tears rolling down her cheeks. Letting her head fall back, she swiped away those angry tears, letting out a long sigh of defeat.

“Why can't I ever do anything right?” She mumbled, her breathing heavy as she bit down on her trembling lips.

In her late twenties, after a nasty break up, Y/N had a marvellous thought that she needed a fresh start. So she had left her corporate job back in Atlanta and moved to New York to pursue her dreams of becoming a writer. She had secured a good position in one of the leading magazine companies and started to write the novel that she had been planning since she was seventeen, but lately nothing seemed to work out the way she wanted. Sure, she was getting paid well but it wasn't enough compared to how much she had to deal with her shitty coworkers and bosses. She had now lost every motivation to continue her novel after the first draft got rejected by the publishing companies enough times to make her feel insecure about her writing.

“Why can't my life just be a goddamn Hallmark movie?” Y/N muttered under her breath as she picked up a cushion and covered your face, letting out a muffled scream.

Her wallowing time was interrupted by the blaring noise of her phone in the awfully quiet apartment, making her nearly jump out of her skin. Another frustrated groan left her lips as she saw the person calling her.

“I told you to stop calling me, for god's sake!” Y/N yelled into her phone.

“Come on, Y/N. One dinner.” The man on the other end pestered. “You know, at work people talk about how uptight you are. Let yourself go, once in a while.”

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn. Michael- I'm not interested. I told you a hundred times before and I'll say it again. Leave. Me. Alone!” She said. The line on the other side went quiet.

“Bitch.” She heard him say before the call disconnected.

“Fuck off!” She yelled again, knowing fully well he couldn't have heard her now. Y/N finally decided to put him in her blocklist because Michael didn't seem like he was gonna stop otherwise.

It wasn't that she had a stick up her ass for not wanting to go on a dinner date with her coworker. Honestly, she missed the whole first date experience, but Michael was definitely not the guy for her, or for any other girls out there in her opinion. He threw around sexist comments around the office like it was some cool shit and chivalry was definitely dead for him.

Y/N finally got up from her seat, shoulders still tense from the day's events. Opening the refrigerator, she stood there gawking at the leftovers in it.

“Cold pizza….spaghetti….chocolate brownies….” She looked at your dinner options, weighing each one's pros and cons before settling on - “Brownies it is.”

Taking out the chocolate confection , she returned to the couch. She put on Netflix as she browsed through it's movie section.

“Stupid Prince Charming-” she scoffed, biting into the delicious the chocolate chip brownie in hand. Grumbling at the unrealistic standards of Netflix rom coms, she still pressed the play on the film The Proposal.

Finishing her 'dinner', Y/N picked up the comforter, nestling deep into her couch as she watched the coldhearted Margaret fall head over heels for her assistant, the exhaustion kicked in.

“Fuck!”

And that's how the next morning started as Y/N woke up one hour later than usual. She had fallen into a deep sleep on her couch before Andrew even got to propose to Margaret, which was not exactly the wisest decision as the next morning, her neck and back screaming in pain.

The girl knew she was going to be late to work today by the time she had left the house. Hair up in a messy bun, a bag hanging from her shoulder, she tried to smoothen down the creases on her skirt before rushing towards the elevator in high heels.

“Hold the door!” She yelled at the man inside as soon as the door started to close. She sprinted towards the elevator as the man kept looking at her, an annoyed look evident on his face when he slammed the button, taking a step forward to keep the door from closing.

“Thank you!” Y/N huffed, as she got in the elevator. The man chose to remain silent and he pressed the ground button on the elevator. “I am so screwed today! I have never been this late to work!” She babbled on but the man still maintained the stoic look on his face. Y/N slightly turned to face the man of stone. He was probably in his thirties, his dirty blonde hair, sparkling green eyes and light stubble on his cheeks went very well with the crisp grey suit he was wearing. One hand in his pocket, he just stood there, jaw clenched together, eyes focused on the shut doors.

“You know, I should have set the alarm! Stupid-”

“Do you ever shut up?” The man finally spoke, a look of disinterest passing his face.

“Wow. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I guess.” Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Excuse me?” His voice was hard.

“I said, someone woke up-”

“I heard what you said. I am just not interested in listening to your morning fuck-up story.” He scoffed.

“Woah, okay.” She widened her eyes at his disrespectful comment, “I just-” The elevator reached the ground floor of their apartment building and the doors opened with a ‘ding’.

“I think you don't want to waste anymore time talking since you're already running late.” Y/N gasped slightly at the audacity of the man. “Have a good day, Miss L/N.” The man wished before moving out of the confined space as Y/N narrowed her eyes at him and wondered how he knew her name.

“Have a good day as well, Mr….” She trailed off as she got out of the vator as well.

“Dean Winchester.” He said as he walked away, never once looking back as Y/N stood there, bewildered at what just happened.

Hands balled up into fists in apprehension, Y/N inhaled audibly, as she stood on the other side of the door. She was late to the meeting by half an hour, twenty-four minutes to be precise and nothing annoyed her boss more than tardiness.

“Y/N, it's a pleasure that you finally graced this meeting with your presence on this fine morning.” Abaddon’s words laced with acute sarcasm made it quite clear that Y/N was doomed when she entered the room. The remaining four pairs of eyes in the room were zeroed in on her, as she abashedly took a seat at the far-end of the table. She couldn't risk her job because of her smartass mouth and she was already on thin ice, so she kept quiet and let Abaddon carry on with the meeting cause even Cruella De Vil would be hiding her face in shame if she ever met Abaddon. She was an Umbridge before her coffee and a Regina George after drinking her coffee. There was no way she was going to spare the poor girl today.

“As I was pointing out, our sales have gone down in recent months quite drastically. Readers are saying the contents are not relatable or entertaining enough….”

A yawn threatened to leave Y/N as she listened to Abaddon go on about the poor performance of the company, her mind preoccupied by a certain green-eyed man. She had never seen Dean in the building before this morning. He was annoyingly good looking and rude and Y/N couldn't seem to get rid of the image of him looking dapper in that grey suit. She was barely able to focus on what Abaddon was saying.

With Dean Winchester still running through her mind, Y/N trudged back to her small cubicle after the painfully hour long meeting.

Plopping down on the chair, covering her face with her hands, she exclaimed, “I need coffee!”

“Thank me later.” She turned her head to Meg as she pushed a hot cup of coffee towards her before going back to her own cubicle.

“Black, just like my heart.” She said before inhaling the strong smell of the drink. Taking a little sip, she let out a sigh of content. “Jesus, I needed this badly.”

“Yeah, you look like shit,” Meg chuckled, earning a glare from her friend. “Did you even take a look at the mirror today? Honestly, I am not even exaggerating, I-”

“Meg, I’ll forever be grateful to you for this cup of coffee, but please stop talking.” Y/N groaned loudly.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Michael walking towards her and put on headphones and turning the volume up, trying to look busy. “Heads up, incoming douchebag.” The brunette said. After the hubbub of the morning and the shitshow of a meeting, Michael was the last person Y/N wanted to see.

“Morning, Y/N.” The smug smile on his face made her cringe. This had been going on for a month now. She thought after last night, Michael would finally back down, but apparently she was very wrong. “My messages don't seem to get through anymore.”

“She blocked you. God, take a hint.” Meg muttered.

“She's right. It's ‘cause you can’t seem to take no for an answer.” Y/N huffed.

“One dinner. Just one.”

“No.”

“She said no. Isn't that enough?” Meg jumped to her friend’s rescue when she saw her fumbling and getting uncomfortable. Michael inched towards Y/N anyway, completely ignoring his colleague’s comment, a smirk evident on his face.

“Y/N, don't be so uptight. What harm does a single dinner gonna do?” He asked.

“It’ll be cheating. I have a boyfriend.” Y/N blurted out, making Meg’s eyes go wide, but it actually seemed to work as Michael moved away from her.

“A boyfriend?”

“Yeah. We have been going out for a while now.” The said man frowned as he thought the words over before leaving her space with a little nod of his head. Maybe it worked on him without any hassle, but she knew this lie would come back to bite her in the ass if the whole office got to know about it. Oh, and they would know since turning around, Y/N saw Ruby staring at her, a grin appearing on her face as she took in all the juicy gossip. The lie was now gonna spread like wildfire.

“Spill.” Y/N turned to look at her friend who stood there, hands folded, eyes wide, brows raised in utter disbelief. She puckered her lips as she waited on Y/N to explain who just frowned in reply. “Well? What happened? I want all the details, Y/N!”

“Oh come on, L/N. Share the deets.” Ruby snickered. “Who's the man that actually managed to capture your heart?”

“Dean Winchester.” The name tumbled out of her lips so easily and that was how she knew she was screwed.

Chapter 2

Feedback is highly appreciated!

Let me know if you want to be tagged in this series!

[srivsblk]

strange theories to keep the boys away | george weasley;

summary: after you created a “strange theory” to find a date for the Yule Ball and have fun, George Weasley, your best friend Ron’s brother, is sure that he’s the right guy;

warnings: —;

—

“What are you doing?” asked Ron Weasley sitting right in front of me.

The library had never been this noisy. All the students arrived with the intention of studying for those few subjects in which the professors continued to give homework and inevitably ended up talking about the Yule Ball.

“What do you mean what am I doing?” I asked looking at him confused. “Studying.”

“Well, everyone is talking about the Yule Ball,” Ron shrugged while Harry sat next to him. “You probably already have a date.”

I sighed and placed the quill on the table, paying my attention to Ron. “Actually, no,” I said observing Ron's expression, which went from calm to shock. “Oh, don’t look at me like that!”

“You- You don’t have a date!” Ron exclaimed wide-eyed pointing at me. “How?”

“High expectations regarding boys, I guess,” I shrugged looking around the room. “I mean, it's not like nobody asked me.”

“Did you know it?” I heard Ron asking Harry in a whisper receiving a simple ‘no�� as an answer.

“Have you seen Hermione, by any chance?” I asked frowning and still looking around. “I thought she was with you two.”

Harry shrugged. “Actually, we thought she was with you.”

I nodded with my brows furrowed and realized that Hermione was probably somewhere around the castle talking about her beloved S.P.E.W. Although Hermione remained my best friend and the only one I could talk to about women's issues, lately I found myself spending more time with Harry and Ron. And when I needed Hermione, I went to the library hoping to find her and sometimes failing. For this reason, I had now spent so much time in the library and alone that I had finished my homework and devoted myself to taking notes on future topics.

“How much time did you spend in the library?” asked Ron observing the open page of the Potions book in front of me. “I'm pretty sure Snape hasn't explained those things yet!”

“Well, long enough to be able to say I’m ahead of the schedule.”

“Ahead?” Ron said shocked. “Blimey, Y/N, either Hermione has infected you or you are terribly bored!”

“Thanks, Ron, coming from you it's a real compliment!” I said sarcastically. “And how's the date you don't have because you're too chicken to ask someone to come to the Yule Ball with you?”

Ron, visibly offended in his pride, was about to argue but was suddenly cut off.

“Yes, Ron! How's your date?”

Turning slightly I noticed that Fred and George Weasley were behind me and had probably overheard the last part of the conversation. Being one of Ron's best friends and having spent a lot of time at his home, seeing Fred and George was nothing new. In fact, in the last year I was sometimes surprised not to see them more often, but Ron kept repeating that they had become suspicious since we arrived at Hogwarts. As Fred sat on my left and George on my right, Ron rolled his eyes and sighed.

“I thought you two were busy.” Ron muttered looking between the twins.

“Exactly,” Fred said smirking. “We were.”

“But a little break doesn't kill anyone,” continued George who was mirroring his brother’s expression. Meanwhile, Harry had a smirk on his face and was exchanging amused glances with me.

“Oh, me and my date are perfectly fine,” Ron said with a forced smile, “but let’s talk about Y/N who still doesn't have a date!”

I looked at him tilting my head confused. “I think you didn't listen to me, Ronald,” I sighed. “It was a choice!”

“I can’t believe you,” Ron said shaking his head. “Nobody goes alone to the Yule Ball by choice!”

“What do you mean?” asked Fred curious.

I sighed and turned to Fred explaining myself. “Someone has already asked me to go to the Yule Ball with them and I refused saying I already had a date.” I calmly said before glancing at Ron who was shaking his head. “However, it's a good choice I've made this past week and I have no second thoughts.”

“I still don't understand it!” groaned Ron frustrated. “From what other guys say you are one of the prettiest girls at Hogwarts and even Malfoy would not care about your house and social status to go to the Yule Ball with you. You're wasting your luck, Y/N!”

“What is your choice based on?” asked Harry over Ron’s muttered words.

I looked at him and noticed that he was genuinely curious and so I started telling him what I kept telling myself every day. “The guys who asked me to go to the Yule Ball with them were from Durmstrang. I have nothing against them but... I mean, I didn't know them enough! You know how sad it is to go to the Yule Ball with one of them and spend a boring evening or discover that maybe they are like Karkaroff! I have decided that I will go with a person with whom I know I can have a pleasant evening. Besides, I'm not afraid to go alone.”

I caught my breath after my words and took the time to observe the reactions of the other boys. Harry struggled to understand my reasoning, but Ron had given up as soon as he heard the news and was waiting with his arms folded for a reaction as exaggerated as his. Fred, however, looked at me confused and George, who had listened carefully to my words, was thinking hard about something.

After twenty seconds of pure silence, Ron decided to interrupt the confusion. “Blimey, Y/N, there is no need to make up strange theories to keep the boys away.”

Ron's words sparked a deep rage that caused my body temperature to rise dramatically. My cheeks were probably tinged red with anger because I noticed Harry looking at me worriedly as if I was going to explode. Ron, however, did not notice the effect of his words. He had behaved like this with Harry before the first task, with Hermione more than once and now with me too. I had enough. With all the anger still inside, I got up from my chair causing a noise that attracted the attention of some people in the room and quickly collected my books. I took the bag and looking at Ron with narrowed eyes and pursed lips, I left. At that moment even Hagrid could have mistaken me for an angry dragon. Keep the boys away. How dare he? He knew me well and I would have accepted such words coming from Pansy Parkinson or Draco Malfoy, but not from Ronald Weasley. Was he jealous? Well, it wasn't my fault that he hadn't found the courage to ask Hermione to be his date! Yet it was not a plausible enough excuse to blame me for not accepting two proposals!

“Y/N!” I heard a voice calling me, which made me turn around and stop.

George Weasley had probably run from the library to follow me and was slightly out of breath. His hair slightly longer than last year was disheveled due to running. His bag was about to fall off his shoulder and there was a slight flush on his cheeks. After waiting for him to say something, I looked at him confused.

“What is it, George?” I asked in a kinder tone, regretting the brusque behavior of before. “Listen, if it’s about Ron-”

“Ron?” he asked frowning. “No, nothing about Ron, love! I just had to ask you something.”

I shrugged. “Go on, then.”

He looked around and was struggling to find the right words, but nonetheless he took a deep breath and became serious. “You and I. The Yule Ball. Together.”

George tried not to show his insecurity and was waiting for an answer from me, but he probably noticed my confusion because soon after he started to move his mouth looking for the right words, perhaps afraid of having said something wrong.

“Are you asking me to be your date, George?” I asked slowly understanding.

“Only if you want to!” he said hopeful adjusting the bag on his shoulder. “And don't think it's pity or something. I want to take you to the Yule Ball.”

I watched George closely and noticed small details that I had always overlooked in recent years. George had become a handsome boy and his fame as a prankster had made him known throughout the school. But I only knew him as Ron's brother who had always been nice to me, even defending me from some bad Slytherin pranks. “Yes,” I said satisfied of my choice. “I'll go to the Yule Ball with you!”

The expression on George's face went from nervous to relieved and enthusiastic in less than a second. He kissed me on the cheek and ran away screaming through the halls as if he had won an important Quidditch match. The place where George left the kiss on my cheek was warm and when I touched it I suddenly smiled. Then I turned and continued walking - this time more slowly and cheerfully - towards the common room.

What happened in the following days was a succession of events and voices that created a sort of pause between the moment when George had asked me to go to the Yule Ball and the evening that everyone was waiting for.

Although Hermione was shocked when I told her that same evening that I had accepted George's proposal, she told me that she should actually have foreseen it. However, she told me that I hadn't chosen badly since at least with George I was sure I could have fun. As for her date, Hermione had finally told me that she had agreed to go with Victor Krum and that he wasn't as bad as everyone thought. George, on the other hand, kept an impassive attitude when he met me with Harry and Ron. He had only told Fred and Lee Jordan that I was his date, as only Ginny and Hermione had heard from me. Harry and Ron had not suspected anything, although they had known that I had finally found a date. Apparently, neither Ron nor I wanted to resume that discussion because he was merely commenting on the Yule Ball matters with Harry. Just a few days before the event, I discovered that my two best friends were planning to bring the Patil twins to the Yule Ball. I thought it was a choice to save themselves from the inevitable loneliness, but I never told them. Hermione still didn't talk about her date in front of Ron and she preferred to avoid any conversation about the Ball.

“Who is he?” asked Ron two days before the Yule Ball while playing chess with Harry.

I sighed closing the book I was reading and looked at him. “No need to keep asking, Ron! You'll see him in two days.”

However, even though I kept refusing, Ron was so curious about my date's name that he repeated the names of all male Hogwarts students from our year and up. Still, it was interesting how he skipped his twin brothers, probably sure that neither George nor Fred saw me as a real girl.

On Christmas day, just after waking up and opening the presents, Hermione and I met Harry and Ron and went to breakfast together. Although the general excitement for the Yule Ball, we decided to spend the morning in the Gryffindor tower, where everyone enjoyed their presents, then returned to the Great Hall for a magnificent lunch. The afternoon passed quickly between walks on the grounds of Hogwarts and snow fights. Hermione and I watched Harry and the other Weasleys having snow fights, while Hermione occasionally sneaked a glance at the smiles George and I exchanged. Around five, Hermione checked the time and took my arm as she rose from the ground. Apparently it was already late and we had to get ready for the evening.

“What, you need three hours?” said Ron, looking at Hermione incredulously, and being hit by George with a snowball. “Who’re you two going with?” he yelled after me and Hermione, but she just waved while I smiled at George and shook my head. Then we disappeared up the stone steps into the castle.

It had taken three hours to prepare both me and Hermione. She had been having some problems with her bushy hair as I kept pacing the room, trying not to panic. Hermione, as soon as she noticed my nervousness, tried to calm me down ("Oh, George is a great guy, Y/N! You'll definitely have fun.") and she helped me put on my dress. Looking in the mirror I had never felt this way. Suddenly, Christmas at Hogwarts took on another meaning. I looked at Hermione smiling and we finally headed for the Great Hall.

Arriving at the Great Hall Hermione left me with a hug and walked over to Krum. I peered around looking for George or at least Harry and Ron so as not to feel completely alone. Finally, after a few moments, I found George talking animatedly with Fred, who had a splendid Angelina beside him. As I walked towards them, Angelina said something to George making him turn in my direction and he finally noticed me. My smile widened further and I saw it was the same for George. He walked away from Fred and Angelina and arrived in front of me.

“You’re-” George couldn’t find the words while looking at me. “Merlin, Y/N, you’re wonderful!”

“You're not bad too, George!” I smiled taking his arm. “I've spent the last three hours preparing myself and I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous.”

“Well, no need to be nervous, love,” said George smirking. “It will be an unforgettable evening, trust me!”

“Oh, I trust you,” I said looking around. “Why are they all looking in our direction?”

George shrugged smirking. “Actually, they’re looking at me. They always do like this when they see me, don't worry!”

I laughed and held his arm tighter. “For a moment I had forgotten that you are the funny one.”

“Never forget that, love,” said George closer to my ear as we entered the Great Hall.

I noticed that Harry was nervous next to one of the Patil twins and Hermione was talking to Krum smiling. Many people needed more than a glance to recognize Hermione Granger, but I smiled at her as she did the same when she noticed me not far from her.

The first part of the evening passed quickly between laughter and an exquisite dinner. Fred kept throwing jokes at Angelina who pretended to be angry for a while and then laughed with the others. George and I had relaxed so much that being this close after a while felt more natural. He kept one arm on my chair and I squeezed his hand when he complimented me. When dinner was over and the Champions started dancing with their dates, George kept holding my hand before smiling at me and taking me to the dance floor. We may not have been the best dancers, but dancing with George just made me happy. After more dances together, George and I walked off the dance floor laughing and, noticing Harry and Ron near a table, we walked over to them.

“Why aren’t you two dancing?” I asked frowning and still holding George’s hand.

“We’re bored.” Ron muttered looking between me and George and trying to change the topic. “So you two-”

“What?” I asked curious.

“Nothing,” shrugged Ron sighing. “I didn't know you had a crush on George. That’s all.”

“I-” I tried to find the right words but felt my cheeks flush. “What are you talking about?”

“And you, George,” Ron said narrowing his eyes at George. “I didn't know you were interested in my best friend! Because that's what Y/N is, a sort of sister.”

As my cheeks became more and more red, I felt George boil in anger beside me at Ron's tone. “Well, Ron, maybe she is your sister, but not mine.”

“Whatever,” mumbled Ron sulky. “However, you remain two traitors. You haven't even told me anything about it.”

Harry stood next to Ron watching the scene. He was too smart to criticize us and agree with Ron, but he was too afraid of losing his best friend again to go against him. So I realized that Ron's only intention was to ruin the evening for all his best friends just because he didn't get what he wanted so much.

“You know, I had enough, Ron,” I said firmly looking at him. “Just because you can't have the best night of your life because of your bad mood doesn't mean you have to ruin my night too! For once I'm having fun and you ruin everything. I can’t accept it, I'm sorry.”

I walked away from my two friends and George with my heart pounding with anger. I didn't want to ruin anyone's evening, so my goal was to go outside and get some air and then find George and continue the wonderful evening. I noticed that the air outside was too cold for how I was dressed, so I sat on a sheltered bench observing the people around me. I recognized a fifth year girl walking with a boy from Durmstrang, and a seventh year couple sitting on a bench not far from me.

“Excuse me, is this seat occupied?” asked someone and turning around I found George smirking. As soon as I shook my head, George sat down beside me.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled feeling guilty. “I had a wonderful evening with you and I feel I ruined it by talking to Ron.”

George slightly smiled and took my hand in his. “If anything you made this evening better by silencing Ron in less than two minutes!”

I laughed and looked at him. “Still, I’m sorry.”

“Well, no,” said George frowning. “I’m the one who’s sorry.”

“For what?”

“You deserve someone like Diggory or Krum, and instead you end up with George Weasley, the prankster,” George shrugged looking down.

“I like George Weasley,” I smiled holding his hand. “I don't think I would have had more fun with Diggory or Krum tonight. Or any other night.”

George looked at me smirking. “So did you have fun?”

I laughed nodding. The couple of seventh year students looked at us for a second before turning around. “I had a wonderful evening and you, George,” I pointed a finger towards him. “you were wonderful.”

George stared at me without saying anything for a few seconds. He had a satisfied smile on his face and his eyes were moving from my eyes to my lips. Suddenly he brought his face close to mine and kissed me. It was a small kiss and it didn't last long. But it had stayed on my lips like a tattoo on someone's skin. A golden but small tattoo. I noticed that George's cheeks had turned red to his ears covered in long hair and he seemed eager to have a reaction from me. But all I did was get closer and kiss him more deeply than before. It didn't matter if it was cold and winter or if anyone could see George and Y/N kissing in the courtyard. It was something I wanted to do instinctively when I never did anything instinctively. After years of rational choices, kissing George Weasley was instinctive.

“Do you want to go back to the Great Hall?” George asked after the kiss. “Let's dance a little more and then I'll take you back to the common room.”

I nodded standing up still holding his hand. “What a night,” I said smiling and shaking my head.

“And you haven't seen anything yet, love,” said George walking and hugging me. “George Weasley can do better! Ask me for the moon and I'll bring you the entire galaxy. We still have time, after all!”

And that was true. We still had time. We were young and free and at the start of something which we would later call love. But in that moment it was still too soon. Two young students not knowing what is that feeling when you hang from the lips of the person you like and wait for their proposal or opinion, when you think that no sad moment can ever get over this happy moment. Because that person is your happy moment. And George Weasley became all of my moments.

[im-in-love-with-pizza-bites]

It Takes A Village Chapter 10

Chris Evans X Pregnant!Daughter!Reader

Series Master List

Series summary: You find out that your pregnant. After being kicked out of your mom's house you go to live full time with your Dad who you only saw once every few months. Will he react badly to you being a mom at such a young age?  

Chapter Summary: you announce your pregnancy on Instagram and start rethinking everything.

Series Warnings: swearing, fighting with a parent, teen pregnancy, speak of abortion.

Chapter Warnings: teen pregnancy mentions puking

You had been on the couch watching Peter pan but now your morning sickness kicked in. You were home from school today due to it being a half-day, your dad was at the store. So you were home alone and throwing up in the toilet with Dodger staring at you concerned while he whimpered. Once you were done you washed your face and brushed your teeth before you went back to the couch to finish the movie. After you posted the photo showing you were home there were rumors as to why. A few gruesome ones, like your mom died, (in all different ways) and a few normal less gruesome ones, such as your dad was able to get full custody of you.You ignored them you were planning on sharing the real reason tomorrow.

"Sweet-pea! I'm home!" You heard your dad say when he entered the house a few bags of groceries in his hands.

"Hey dad!" You said looking over the couch to look at him.

"Hey you okay? Seeing all those rumors?" He asked from the kitchen as he began putting everything away. You got up and walked in.

"Yeah haven't been on social media much since I got out of school I've been watching movies. And I think I have some baby names." You told him excitedly as you began to help him.

"What happened to not picking a names until you knew the genders?" He asked smirking at you.

"Don't worry one of them are after you." You said. He looked at you smiling silently begging you to continue. "No! You don't get to know! But I'll tell you the middle name ideas I have." You said.

"Continue." He smiled at you.

"Okay, so Christopher and Scott are the middle names if I have boys." You said continuing putting away the groceries.

"Okay what about the girl names?" He asked.

"Maxine, and of course the basic white girl middle name of Anne." You said giggling.

"Basic white girl name?" He shook his head at you but you could see the small smile on his face. "The other one is cute though." He said.

"I know!" You told him smiling.

"And Scott will also be happy will one of those names... He's been telling me how you were definitely going to name your baby after him." He explained, you giggled.

"Because I already told him." You said giggling.

"Sweet-pea how could you tell him first! I'm your dad!" He feigned offense before you both laughed. "But really those are great middle names. Especially the first one you said." He smirked at you. "Okay I'm going to make dinner you can get a movie set up for us to watch okay Bubba?" He asked.

"Okay. What movie?" You asked him.

"You pick bubba." You nodded leaving the kitchen Dodger following.

----

You stood in front of the mirror looking down at you baby bump, phone in hand. Unbeknownst to your dad you were doing this. He was outside with Dodger and you told him you were doing your homework. Of course he'd know that was a lie once this photo goes around. You faced your camera to the mirror the bump was clear from your side you took the photo. You went onto Instagram, a bunch of notifications from your last post filing in. You clicked the new post, you picked your photo before writing a brief caption that said:

"As my last post has cause many questions maybe this with clear some things up. Two new Evans are due in November. I prefer not to go into detail about anything about me being home or about the babies or their father, I just prefer the media and my dad's fans stay out of it. I hope you all can respect that."

You hesitated reading over the caption as many times as possible. Before setting your phone down not posting the picture. You sighed sitting on your bed. You looked back at your phone grabbing it and turning the comments for the post off before quickly clicking it then going down stairs and outside where Chris sat.

"Dad I posted a photo of my baby bump everyone knows." You sat next him sighing. He looked down at you. He pulled you into his side giving you a reassuring smile.

"I told you not to post anything bubs." He mumbled. "Has anyone said anything yet?"

"I turned the comments off..." You mumbled into his shirt.

"That was a good idea. You gotta show me how to do that Bubba." He leaned over kissing the top of your head.

You giggled. "Okay old man." His phone dinged and he looked at it and sighed.

"Well your post is getting attention. Sebastian and Mackie and asking if it's true." He showed you his phone.

"Ooh call'em I want to say hi." You sat up leaning your head on his shoulder. He chuckled shaking his head before face timing them.

"Hey lil Evans!" Mackie said seeing you. "Are you pulling a late April fools prank or was that post real?" He asked.

"It was real... I forgot you guys follow me." You said.

"Your gonna be mom aren't you like 10?" Sebastian asked, slightly teasingly. "Wait... We're you not gonna tell us if we didn't see that post?"

"I'm 15. And before you ask any questions about the babies, I'm having twins, the dad knows, he doesn't want them, I'm 12 weeks along I don't know the genders, and... I think that's all.. Oh and that's why I live with dad, and no I'd tell you eventually, probably next time I saw you and you met the babies." You rambled.

"Who is the dad?" Sebastian asked.

"Jake." You mumbled.

"And your good with this? Two new babies in your house?" Anthony asked Chris.

"We already talked 4 weeks ago when I found out." Chris said.

"You've known for four weeks and didn't tell us Y/n I thought I was your favorite uncle?" Sebastian pouted at you thought the screen.

"Hey I thought I was your favorite uncle!" Anthony said.

"Why do I need to have a favorite?"

"I'll be the babies favorite uncle." Anthony said

"With all of the people I've told about the babies you guys are definitely the most chill about it." You muttered before looking at your phone eyes widening at how many people have already liked the post already. And the press was probably already writing about it.

"Okay bye guys we'll talk to you later." Your dad said before hanging up the face time.

"I think I made a mistake I shouldn't have posted it, dad!! I shouldn't even be a mom now I'm putting my kids into the media! Dad, I had the privilege of not being in the media often since I lived in texas no one is gonna go there and try to take photos rednecks would shoot em! My kids have to live where ever you are because I'm a minor! I'm so dumb! I should've kept it a secret." You rested your head on his shoulder as you rambled. He sighed not knowing how to calm you down so he just looked down at you rubbing your shoulder. "Oh not to mention what is someone from town sees that! They'll all know and show Jake or mom! My kids won't even have their father! Only a mom. I can't take care of the babies I can't even drive! What am I going to do take them to school on a bicycle?" Your rambling continued.

"Bubba... You'll be able to drive when they start going to school besides you have me. Don't worry about town. Or the press." He said. To be honest those were thought he's been having it was why he didn't want you to tell the press. You grew up in a small town in texas with a whole bunch of rednecks even if the paparazzi found out where you lived the town would've chased them away, not because they liked you but because rednecks are crazy. If you still lived there press would be a lot less of a problem. And for the whole, your kids won't have a father thing he knew even if their dad wouldn't be there he would be the best male role model he can for them. But he also noticed that if you weren't at school or work you were always busying your mind, with homework or reading you barely read before. He could only assume it was because of the breakup and being kicked out. Just a way for you not to think of them. Dodger ran over licking your hand as you continued your rant to your dad.

"Shh, bubba." He cooed softly as your rant ended. "I told you, you're not going to be alone. I'll be there to help you the whole way."

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