#i am allergic to grapes

[bread-squid-uwu]

Guys I can't buy the aphmau juice because the only walmart is multiple towns over :((

[winepresswrath]

is your url a reference to revelation 14:19?? sorry this is so random i was reading the bible for a class and suddenly something clicked

In a roundabout way, but also it's so much sillier than that. It's a grapes of wrath reference, because in the depths of my early CQL obsession I was idly poking around on tumblr and concluded that I should make an account, so as to spare my friends and family. I didn't think very hard about what my name should be- I just went oh, angry grape, the grapes of wrath, winepress of wrath, fateful lightning of his terrible swift sword dada dada dada haha purple. Naturally since all roads lead back to Wei Wuxian this bit

The baby has a cold. Here, take this blanket. It's wool. It was my mother's blanket—take it for the baby. This is the thing to bomb. This is the beginning—from "I" to "we."

popped into my head and made me think about Wei Wuxian and the people he makes his families with & particularly about a-yuan, for values of my mother's blanket that amount to "my necromancy" and "my sister's soup" and eventually "my life!" I know! I promise I know. Even at the time I was aware it was a deeply silly and thematically inconsistent through-line. I picked the first things I could think of because I needed a place to vomit out my thoughts and feelings and was rapidly approaching the end of my bff's patience for the topic and years later here i am.

[virtualplushy]

assumption: you are not allergic to anything

HAKDJSJSJSJSJAJSJAJAJ

[thedrowsydoormouse]

I'm allergic to grapes.

Important chart btw

[leitmotif]

the welch's grape ghost energy drink is proof that the universe does love us at least a little

[mrobot]

yo there better not be any fucking crustacean shellfish in my grapes

[gaymingintrovert]

Is your mouth supposed to go dry when you eat grapes with seeds in them or am I allergic to grapes

[adirajackson]

Well here I am humbly raving about a request, a percy jackson x Children of dionysus? Thank you!

But daddy I love him! ☻⚡︎

Percy x Dionysus!reader

FINALLY A REQUEST AHHHHHH ILYSM OFC I WILL WRITE THIS MY LOVE!!!!!

Warnings: implied smut? Swearing, overprotective dad, arguing, emotions? Idk maybe y’all are allergic to them or sum

Radio:

You and Percy had just…finished a few rounds of….the forbidden tango, and were making out heatedly, you both had attempted to put your clothes on, but Percy only had this boxers and sweats on, and you were in your underwear shorts and bra, you had gotten distracted from a…side quest and decided that something else was more important. “ Fuck, Perce,” you said between wet kisses and moans. He hummed in response, moving back down to your neck, adding a fourth hickey to the collection he made. “I can’t…I can’t walk.” You said, blushing as you admitted it. “Good,” he said, softly rubbing your back as a way to hopefully comfort you. “I can keep you exactly where I want you. In my arms.” You grab his jaw softly and he looks you in the eye, panting slightly. “As cute as that is, I kinda need to walk.” You said, finally noticing your surroundings. You had accidentally grown grape vines all over his walls, a result that formed from him pleasuring you deeply. He looked over at the wall and picked one off, popping it in your mouth before grabbing another and putting it in his. “So sweet,” he said, licking his lips. “Did I do that?” He asked, smiling like a kid on Christmas. “I-”

“PERSEUS FUCKING JACKSON!” A voice boomed from outside of his cabin doors, which were slammed open by multiple, thick, grapevines. Percy flinched slightly and pulled you behind him in a protective manner, covering your bare stomach and slightly shown breasts from the outside world and whomever had just barged in an made the decision of a dimwit, peabrain, no good- it was Dionysus. Good thing he couldn’t read minds, Eh?

“Daddy!” You said, immediately clambering to get your dress that was thrown on the ground, put back on. Percy was also scrambling to put his camp hoodie on. “Y/n.” Dionysus looked at you for a split second and then back to Percy, a purple fire lighting in his eyes. “It’s- it’s not what it looks like!” You said, immediately starting to unravel the grape vines that you had made, from Percy’s rooms’ walls. “Oh really? Then tell me, exactly what it was? Because if I ask anyone in this camp, I’d say they’d know exactly what you were doing, their ears were probably stained with the noises.” He said angrily.

“She didn’t do anything wrong, don’t get mad at her for no reason-” “Oh you really think I’m mad at her? No, I’m mad at you, Peter.” Dionysus cut off Percy when he tried to speak. “You’ll be finding a worse punishment than ‘no dessert’ in your future,” your father threatened, walking out of the cabin, muttering curses. You ran out of the warm, sex and wine smelling, confined of Percy’s cabin, following your angry father, your dress wasn’t even buttoned since you had rushed to follow him. “Don’t do this!” You yelled, catching up to him. “Oh I will be doing this, he deserves it for ruining my princess," he said, not even looking at you.

“But daddy I love him!" You shouted. “I’m- I’m having his baby!” Dionysus stopped abruptly and stared at you, wide-eyed like a mad man. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. A sour grape vine sprouted from the ground, though. “No, I’m just kidding but you should’ve seen your face!” You smiled, after all, you were still a Dionysus girlie, you can’t resist making someone go crazy or panic, even if it means your own dad. Dionysus sighed and shook his head. “What am I gonna do with you…” “let me date my super awesome boyfriend?” “Thats a hard maybe. If he ever dares lay a bad finger on you-” “he would never” “-then you’ll have to deal with a dolphin instead.” “Dad!” “I’m off to bed. Keep it down. Also, no dessert for a week for you, none for a month for him.” “Love you too, dad!” “Yeah, yeah, love you."

The next morning, you and Percy woke up with your hands tied together with a thick grape vine and a long, ten foot, list of rules and conditions for being a couple.

You knew your dad loved you though, he just wanted what was best for his daughter.

[neenieweenie]

Quote Prompts

this is a list of real things that i have heard people say and i strongly encourage that it be used in works of fiction. i started this list in my freshman year of high school and am now a junior in college. if you have any questions about context for any of them (or you’re just curious) feel free to ask! also please tag me if you use it bc i wanna see how ppl use it

“you know what? i am gonna have some grapes.”

“lemon juice and nicolas cage”

[seriously] “you silly goose”

“winner winner, chicken… soup”

“don’t be a debby downer” “did you just say ‘debby downer’?” “i did say debby downer”

“just say ‘controversial’ and call it a day”

“I’m gonna eat her grandma”

“nothing says ‘festive’ like ibs”

“what if the sun was on fire” “the sun IS on fire” “oh”

“my mom thinks my stepdad is a drug addict” “my mom IS a drug addict” “oH-“

“what delicious nutrients in milk!”

“that’s don cheadle” “[gasp]”

“how am i supposed to criss cross applesauce in these conditions”

“oh, like you don’t fart?” “i DONT fart” *farts*

“you’re the worst person i’ve ever met” “aww, you mean that?”

“i’m a girl, not a boy, but i do have epi pens (bonus: “assigned allergic at birth?”)

“fuck— i mean fart”

“i had all four sevens you bitch”

“stuff is temporary. swag is forever.”

“the “P” in “RIP” stands for piss” “rest in piss 😔✊”

“you’ve been in the shower too long, you’re gonna ruin your skin!” “my skin is baby soft”

“my bones are made of pretzel sticks”

“maybe the real clitoris was the friends we made along the way”

“i’m gonna give you a big fat kiss if you don’t shut the fuck up”

“is it worse to be called a slut or a whore?” “well whores get paid, so… slut, probably. cause they don’t have that entrepreneurial spirit”

“tomorrow is the wedding and also the wiffle ball game”

“you’re too young to be so jaded” “i was born jaded. i came out of the WOMB jaded”

“we’ve taught her too much. now she’s pointing out our mistakes”

“andrew jackson: super mega-cunt”

“let’s not sully the lox bagel experience”

“I’m twisting your brain into yarn. I’m crocheting a sweater with your thoughts”

“it’s a part of who i am” “well maybe… change”

“critically analyze your sources! fuck you!”

“i piss like a racehorse”

“i was an athlete if you put an m at the front of it”

“what ever happened to boy bands?” “we mostly get our imports from korea now”

“that’s bird autism” “cawtism”

“i had a dream that the monarchy returned to russia”

l“you’re the most chalant person i’ve ever met”

“i know where to get a tapeworm on my own, i don’t need you to sell me one”

“gotta keep him moist like a lizard”

nothing says happy 20th birthday like dying in a covered wagon”

“yeah, after archimedes figured out the water displacement theory he moved on to jet propulsion technology”

“it may be an ants life, but it’s a beetle’s world; let me tell you about beetles real quick”

“go spaghetti, motherfucker”

“this sandwich is sexually active” (it fucks)

“there is no hope for me. like, i’m on the titanic, it’s going down and i’m one of those people who just went to bed”

“that’s what they taught me in vampire school… i mean band camp”

“would that i were an ocean dweller”

“it’s simply the madness, it can’t be helped”

[oscconfessions]

i wonder what algebraliens taste like

i'd imagine depending on who/what they are they'd taste different

four most likely tastes really gamey because he most definitely is a wild animal. if we go on the headcanon that algebraliens are more animal-like than other objects, it's possible he'd taste like venison (deer), because i see him as thin and gangly but still has enough muscle on him for meat.

x is probably mostly fatty. say what you want to say, but his shape even in canon, is, for lack of a better term, rounded. it's not worth it to eat x unless you want to fry him up like chicharonnes (fried pork skins[god i am hoping i spelled that correctly i am a hopeless gringo i apologize]). otherwise if you cook him normally he'd taste like rabbit but there'd be little to no meat on this dude. personally i think of him like this because x is passive and would need a thick blubber layer (like a real life whale, the animal, no i am not calling fat people whales, even if i was i would be calling myself a whale because i AM fat fuck you) to protect himself. i mean how else does this little guy take a beating from others? additionally, i think x is really fuzzy, maybe he's like a seal??????? do people eat seals?????

2. what does two taste like. personally i think they're different from the other algebraliens in makeup- they have an affinity for cake and other sweet foods, so maybe their diet consists of sugars, not too unlike some insects. maybe they're insect-like? bee? bee. that being said, they wouldn't have too much flavor on their own. say if you fried them up like a cricket, and put some seasonings on him, you could get something that tastes good.

yes i am continuing with xfohv algebraliens.

seven and one (what we have seen of one at least) i think follows two in 'is insect' category. mayyyybe 14 is also insect? but i also don't wanna find out what 14 tastes like. i really don't.

six and nine both inexplicably taste of mint toothpaste and wintergreens respectively. that being said, i am allergic to mint toothpaste, so six is safe from being eaten by me.

8 tastes like tofu. following six and nine, idk how this would happen, but 8 probably would be good in a stew or soup. miso soup

i don't wanna find out what five tastes like. i know they're probably meaty but the purple color reminds me too much of grape flavored candies and i'd be too disgusted. also i don't think 5 has ever taken a shower

i would never eat 10. never in a million years. i like 10 wayyy too much. but if i absolutely had to guess what 10 tastes like, i think 10 is the porky-mutton contender. probably leans more towards a rack of lamb. i say this with the most absolute affection. 10 is my favorite idk why

15 tastes like 15. if we are talking fusion 15, mint overload, i am not touching it. if we are talking red 15, they taste like beef. and the number 15. you take a bite and you see the number 15 appear before your eyes before you swallow. i guess

does 3 exist? idk

i think this is the end of the algebraliens- no wait i gotta do exclamation mark who i will shorten the name to ! bc i am not typing that over and over again

! unlike 5 has a lighter lavender color. since they exist in a different universe and is much more kooky than beefydie algebraliens, i think they'd exist on a different logic. ! probably tastes whatever that juice tastes like, and i think that juice is probably really herbal tasting, with mostly floral lavender notes. what i am saying is ! tastes like if you were to eat a spa. i do not want to eat a spa.

this has been; super technical analysis of what numbers and variables and punctuation tastes like

.

[clickbeetle]

well folks i think it’s finally happened. i am officially allergic to every fruit i’ve ever tried.

unless grapes are also supposed to make your mouth and lips burn.

[navy-heart]

Kwko favourite ice-cream flavour

Oooh very good question actually!

Maki: mango

Karin: (salted) caramel

Kairi: butter pecan & matcha

Suzuka: blueberry

Akari: chocolate

Reishi: strawberry (← he is basic)

Other cast members in no particular order under the cut. Hoc exclusive please do not look if you don't want MASSIVE spoilers (which is just npc names and their ice cream favs so like. Who am I to stop you). Ok :]

Hozuki: rocky road

Touka: bubble gum

Junna: coffee

Kotori: pistachio

Ray: almond

Yuuka: mint without chocolate chip. Bite her

Yoriko: banana

Makoto: espresso

Hibiki: green apple

Tsukihime: lemon

Ryuu: rum raisin

Reiji: irish cream

Shuli: cookie dough

Kanna: cranberry

Kirito: melon

Zoe: tropical (especially pineapple, watermelon and kiwi). She is aware of the irony

Kazumi: black cherry & grape

Koteru: oreo. Your honor he is an itty bitty baby

Satomi: peach

Meron: blackberry & raspberry

Takeru doesn't have a favourite ice cream flavor because he is allergic to fun.

This isn't all of the npcs but I think it's everyone I've told you about & who have a relatively major role.

To everyone who against their better judgement clicked on the spoiler and is now shocked and disgusted by how many of These Guys there are. My condolences. I wish it wasn't that way either

[shoku-and-awe]

Grape gummies, but make it translucent! Neat.

These had a pretty classic soft Japanese grape gummy flavor, though not super sweet. The weird thing—besides the color—was that they had kind of a cooling sensation, like mint or Sichuan pepper! I liked it.

The *extra* weird thing is that it does not say anything about this anywhere on the package or the website, and also my husband didn't notice it. So there's a non-zero chance that I am allergic to these or possibly hallucinating. Okay!

[neomujinjja]

They accidentally trigger your allergy Headcanon

Pairing: Stray kids x reader

Genre: headcanon

Warnings: not edited, experiencing allergic reaction(s)*, not knowing your allergies, allergy medicine (pills), being careless with your allergies, some members headcanons are shorter than the others

Note: *I.N's is the only with an anaphylactic reaction, the rest are just redness, swelling, and itchiness. majority of the allergies and their reactions are based off my own experiences or those of my family (so not a big range)

Bang Chan

he's just trying to be sweet

giving you a bouquet of pretty flowers, chan thinks you'll like

you keep the flowers in your living room

plus you had already taken your allergy medicine

it's not until the next morning that he learns about your pollen allergy

you walked out of the bedroom, making breakfast for yourself and chan

when he walks out and is confused by your sudden stuffy nose

"are you sick?"

"no, it's my allergies"

"allergies?"

"yeah, my pollen allergies"

babe feels so bad!!

he's apologizing and promising to not to buy flowers again

you tell him that it's okay and he doesn't have to worry

explaining that it's only a light reaction and you're fine as long as you take your medicine

either way, chan feels so bad about it

and he's asking about any more allergies you might have

Lee Know

minho was trying out a new recipe

it just happens to contain a lot of tomatoes and lemons

and it slips his mind to how much citric acid content there is

later after the two of you enjoy the meal

you make complaints about itchiness and redness

minho goes through what you've ate recently with you

the two of you land on the new meal that's he made

of course minho feels terrible and apologizes

you ensure him that you believe he didn't do it on purpose and you're at fault too

Changbin

date night~

changbin takes you to this italian inspired restaurant

you ordered yourself a pasta with shrimps (think shrimp alfredo)

on the way home, changbin notices how much you're itching

then once home, he also sees that your ears seem to be swelling up too

changbin insists on bringing you to the hospital to get checked out

there the doctor informs you that it's allergic reaction to the shrimps in your pasta

they give you medicine to relieve your symptoms and inform you to be careful

you also schedule a date to receive allergy testing to prevent this happening again in the future

Hyunjin

it's a relatively hot summer

so you and hyunjin make a home-made fruit platter

it's got watermelon for hyunjin alongside grapes, blueberries, blackberries, and peaches

as someone with allergies himself, he is very careful about dealing with yours

but one too many grapes leaves your mouth feeling itchy

hyunjin immediately cuts you off after realizing

he also jokingly scolds you for not knowing your limit and triggering your allergy

if you try to grab any more grapes then hyunjin lightly taps your hand or pushes the grapes further out your reach

he isn't going to allow for you to experience a severe allergic reaction on his watch

Han

you guys decide order take out for dinner

jisung knows about your allergy to shellfish/seafood

so you guys order fried rice, orange chicken, chow mein with beef and broccoli

specifically steering away from any shrimp dishes

neither of you realize that some of the food is cooked with oyster sauce

the both of you are hungry so you're digging in once the food is delivered

you start sniffling and itching as you're eating

jisung looks up to see that you're swelling up

he gets up and rushes to get your medicine

he has to urge you to take it as you're confused

"take your medicine"

"what?"

"you're having an reaction"

"i am?"

the two of you are still confused as to the cause

you guys text stray kids resident chefs who give you the answer: oyster sauce

jisung apologizes but you tell him it's okay

then you order for some pizza to be delivered

no one lets the either of you (especially you) live this incident down

Felix

we all know that felix enjoys baking

i believe that he'd experiment with new treats upon free time

and felix decides that he's going to tackle snickerdoodles

he's heard you talk about how much you like the cookies as well

so he finds a recipe online and gets baking

you walk into the dorm to cookies that have cooled down just enough to eat but still warm from their time in the oven

it took about five cookies in til you began having a reaction

becoming curious about what caused the redness and swelling presenting itself on your arm

you ask felix about the ingredients he used for the cookies

felix begins listing the ingredients one by one, getting to nutmeg

nodding your head, you realize what's behind your reaction

felix is confused until you explain it to him, that by extension your body reacts to the seasoning

he's quick to apologize, kissing your face and promising to find a recipe that doesn't contain nutmeg

(the rest of the cookies go to members and felix's friends)

Seungmin

the boys are back from tour

but just for a bit before they start the next leg of it

you go to visit seungmin

he brought snacks back with him

so you two are eating on them while catching up and watching tv

then your mouth feels itchy

seungmin: "what's wrong?"

you: "i don't know" 🤷

cue seungmin searching what it could be

and you guys looking up the ingredients online

he comes to the inclusion that it must be an allergic reaction

you're surprised cause you've never experienced this before

seungmin makes you vow to be diligent with your new found allergy

and to go to the doctor for a further check up

you guys go out to buy some over-the-counter medicine for the meantime

I.N

you guys are just out for the night

walking around, enjoying the chill air

maybe buying snacks from convenience stores

or window shopping

unfortunately there's been a big pollen outbreak

and you didn't take your medicine as you hadn't realized

you and jeongin have been out for about 30 minutes when you start having a reaction

it starts off as just a stuffy & runny nose so you continue to brush it off

cause you always carry tissues with you

so does jeongin since he's learned about your pollen allergy

then you start feeling short of breath and your throat closing

jeongin is panicking when you tell of this development

he brings you into the closest building

where the two of you search through your bag for your pills

poor baby has tears in his eyes through the ordeal

once the medicine kicks in and your reaction calms, you guys start the walk back home

jeongin begins checking the pollen forecast before heading out with you after that

he never wants to go through something like that again with you

[ask-jay-gatsby]

dear Mr Gatsby,

I am planning a party, and would like some food recommendations! we already have our connection for the giggle water, as my pals call it, so all we require now is foods to appeal to the masses, and soft drinks for the party goers who cannot imbibe.

You, sir, are a fantastic host, and I only wish to entertain my guests as best as I can.

Cheers!

POST: LONG ISLAND, NY. AUG 1922

Dear Old Sport,

I’m honored that I am the one you came to for advice! I suppose word of my little parties has spread farther than I anticipated.

As for dining—I tended to divide the night in two, between early attendees and late-night debauchees. Both meals tended to be mostly the same except the earlier meal ends with coffee and the later does not.

Regarding the spread, I simply cannot account for every sensitivity but I cater in broader strokes when I can. Many of my attendees are Jewish and cannot eat pork, so I ensure that while there’s always ham available, there is also turkey or duck. Never chicken; it gives the appearance of thrift. I try to avoid almonds in any meal because someone I cared about was allergic to them and it ultimately led to his demise, so perhaps be aware of any allergies, and depending on the size of your party you may be able to accommodate everyone there in that regard. Otherwise, ensure that any common allergen is visible or marked.

For side dishes I tend to provide well-designed salads and multiple options available for quick and easy eating, such as cubes of fancy cheese or grapes or slices of preserved meat. Crackers with toppings are also increasingly common. Deviled eggs as well; I usually request the caterers stencil my initials onto the top white part of each egg half with paprika. It’s personal details like this that can really make or break a party!

I hope I have served you well! I can also recommend caterers if you haven’t locked yours down yet.

Sincerely and emphatically,

Jay Gatsby