#i am all over the place with this rant

[beachesgetpeaches]

my only problem w mandalorian season 3 is that it all feels like it should have been season 4

rushed is one word that might describe it but it's not rven that. it isn't rushed as much as it never gives audience the chance to connect with what is happening.

din giving bo the darksaber is fine, BUT watching just this show there is NO explanation as to why he would want to do this. we do not get din struggling with it, we are not given a reason within this series that makes him giving it to bo a fulfilling yay experience.

one way this would have "felt" better would have been if there was a "season 3" (lets call it season 2.5 here) where we see din struggle with it. where we see him talk about it and try to make sense of it. and a season in which we get to connect better with bo and want to root for her. a season which establishes that she is now the best fit to unite all mandalorians instead of being told so by the armorer.

there is a season missing in which din deals with finding his purpose after grogu leaves to train with luke. and then mid that season we could have a proper BoBF cross over in which one mandalorian episode sets up din helping out in BoBF episode and grogus return.

the season doesnt work because it doesn't give us payoff for two most important events of s2 finale: darksabre and grogu leaving. we dont get to see din (the protagonist of the first two seasons, and the character we have all been rooting for) handle the consequences of these two events. instead we get bits of it in another show (BoBF), and resolution for grogus departure in that same show. completely outaide of the mandalorian narrative, and with no character consequence or development coming from these.

it also does not address the point of helmet removal which is something i assume din has struggled with during/after s2.

which is frustrating. very much so. especially with how wonderful s2 was with addressing the creed and din removing his helmet. we dont even get much of him working through that - that he removed his helmet three times since meeting grogu: once on the brink of death, second time to get vital information to save grogu, third time to say goodbye.

all of these OUT OF LOVE (i am soft!!)

either way, we do not address these specifically. we dont see him think on it more than him doing what he must to redeem himself.

im not asking for an insanely character driven plot. but the plot did not even accommodate for any of this. idk if it was because pedro could not be present on set so they had to do a rewrite but even in that case this just seems to be the wrong focus for this season.

[featheredadora]

[buggachat]

To be clear, I goddamn hated the finale on first watch. I was withering in my seat. My heart had dropped to my stomach. I had no fucking idea what I was watching in that final scene lmao

and then Adrien said "when Ladybug gave me the rings—" and I was like— wait. LADYBUG? LADYBUG STILL EXISTS?

I THOUGHT THE ENTIRE TIMELINE HAD BEEN REWRITTEN 😭😭😭😭 I THOUGHT LADYBUG AND CHATN OIR DIDNT UFCKING EXIST uNTIL ADRIEN SAID THAT I WAS SO SO SO SCARED

and then I realized, oh wait. This isn't a complete utopian timeline rewrite. This is just a timeskip of a few months and Mme Bustier is just a kickass mayor. In fact, she's only mayor BECAUSE it's still the same timeline. And then I realized, hey, wait, if they didn't rewrite the timeline, then how tf is Emilie casually there with no questions?

And then I realized she was wearing black. And Félix was there. And I remembered Amelie exists.

Basically, I went into the finale chanting to myself "it's okay, it's okay... they probably wont bring Emilie back... they probably won't rewrite the entire timeline permanently.... right? please....", even though I didn't actually expect it to happen, but just because I was terrified that it could. And apparently that fear actually got to me so much that I misinterpreted the episode as being everything I didn't want it to be... when... it actually wasn't that at all

anyway, all of this is to say, everything in the episode happens so fast that it confused and terrified me at first. And when I realized what had happened, my opinion went from "my year is ruined" to "oh. well. okay. kind of disappointing, I guess". And then I kept thinking about it, and the ending, and all that is set up and rewatching the scenes and all the loose ends still in place and.... i realized I loved it?

like, every time I think about this finale, I love it more. every time i rewatch a scene, I get a little obsessed. this episode went from my nightmare to actually really really cool to me, and I'm still kind of reeling from it

Basically, this is why I've been kind of passionately defending the finale— not because I think people who don't like it are """dumb""" or anything, I don't blame people at all for that, and I totally get the confusion. I was confused too. And I know I'm not the only one who went in preparing themselves for the worst, or went in with very specific expectation on what will happen, because this finale has been long awaited for so long. I think everyone was shocked with how it ended. I think most people probably startled at Amelie's face (it's so easy to forget she exists....)

Anyways, I started this post basically as an apology for if I seem too aggressive or defensive about the finale. Because I get it! I get hating it! I get being disappointed or frustrated or confused! Part of why I'm so defensive is because I have all the arguments so ready on the tip of my tongue because I had the very same argument with myself already 😭 So I'm sorry if any of my posts came off as too aggressive and in advance for any future posts that might. I promise promise promise I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad for having bad opinions on the finale! I just think this episode is really cool and the fact I related to a lot of the nay-sayers makes it easy to feel so impassioned about it.

But this post is getting off the rails and I'm just gonna let it, because some of my regrets w my participation in fandom is that I find myself chickening out of actually talking about my thoughts on episodes a lot. I get kind of overwhelmed and overthink everything after I've posted it and I'm a shy person. But my inbox is closed and this is the season 5 finale and I want to ramble and ramble so I will allow myself this

Basically, I went in with some very specific expectations for this episode. We all know about the Hawkmoth defeat story. Many of us have read it in fics over and over again, it was teased in Chat Blanc, we all know what we expect, we all know our favorite beats from it.

And what actually happened....... met virtually none of those beats. (For me, at least).

Like, Adrien wasn't there for the final episode. At all. He was completely absent from the confrontation. He never found out his father was Hawkmoth. He got his rings, but he never found out he was a sentimonster. He is living in the dark.

Ladybug confronted Monarch... alone. Which is sad, when so much of the series is dedicated to the partnership of her and Chat Noir. Them against the world....... and Monarch was "defeated" with nary a Chat Noir in sight.

The whole entire "Gabriel is known as a hero" thing. I don't think anybody was expecting that. Absolutely shocking.

The fact Marinette would lie to Adrien like that. The fact she's keeping so much from him. The fact everyone is. SO MANY people in Adrien's life (Marinette, Plagg, Nathalie, Felix, Amelie, Kagami, probably Alya, maybe more I'm not thinking of....) are just... lying to him, now. He is so in the dark. He knows nothing.

But.........

I kind of like that I didn't predict nearly any of this. I like that it caught me off guard. I love how this show just completely baffles me at every turn, how it will present concepts and ideas to me that I've never read a fic about.

In retrospect, Chat Noir being absent from the final battle... makes sense. It actually makes a lot of sense, if I think about it, because... there is only one possible way that could've gone, right? Chat Noir would not be allowed to have the emotional implosion that he would have to have. This is devastating. This is SO devastating. This is the entire shattering of Adrien's entire world we're talking about, and Chat Blanc is the only real way for that to end. Adrien has an emotional implosion in front of Monarch, he gets akumatized, it turns into an emotion explosion, extinction event. The end. We've already seen it.

And........ even if it didn't end that way, even if he managed to avoid akumatization...... how could the finale satisfyingly end on that note? How could it end in any semblance of a "wrapped up" way, at the very start of Adrien's emotional breakdown? It couldn't. I wouldn't WANT it to. In retrospect, Adrien finding out his dad is Monarch and then.... what? The season ends on a close-up of him crying? The season ends with a time-skip to the new school year where they skipped his entire grieving period!? I would HATE that, actually. I would hate that. I thought I wanted it, but I would hate it. I would hate it so so so much.

What's kind of amazing is that the finale ended with Monarch being defeated.... but Adrien still has those realizations to make. He still has those betrayals to come to terms with. There is time for him to make these realizations, for him to come to these conclusions, perhaps one at a time, perhaps in a more controlled environment.... and that gets me far, far more excited for the seasons to come than an episode that tried to wrap it all up in the last 5 minutes.

Also, the reason Adrien didn't go to the final battle was because he feared becoming Chat Blanc. He didn't know the truth to it, didn't understand that literally, yes, that's what would have happened if he was there, even if he hadn't been under a nightmare curse. But he still knew. He still expected it. He willingly chose to sit it out, no matter how much he hated it, because he knew. And there's something kind of powerful to that, I think, of Adrien making a choice that is so unequivocally the Correct choice, even more than he realized. And the strength it took for him to make that decision...... damn.

As for the lies and the Gabriel statue? I... it's upsetting, but it's supposed to be. And I believe it. I absolutely believe it. I 10000% believe Marinette would keep the secret of Monarch's identity to herself to try to save Adrien the pain. I 10000% believe that the population could easily be led to believe a famous billionaire is a hero. I 10000% believe that Adrien would WANT to believe it. I 10000% believe Tomoe would take advantage of it.

And I can't wait to see that illusion crumble.

Also.... this is the beginning of The Lila arc.

And the Lila arc begins on........ Marinette telling the biggest, boldest face lie she ever told. The Lila arc begins on the most extreme city-wide illusion we've ever seen. It begins on such a huge fabrication and....

..... it's Marinette's lie.

............ and Lila knows that it's a lie.

I'm

!!?!?!?!

This is so fucking cool???? The irony here??? the deceit???? All these loose ends, all the possible confrontations, all the ways this could GO. I don't know where the show is taking this, obviously, because nobody ever can predict where this show is going apparently (and I love it for that), but oh my god. I'm imagining all the fics I could read about this. all the fics I could write. all the thoughts and scenarios that this finale has provided me with to daydream about as I go to sleep.

Adrien, going through the motions of life. Looking up to his father as a hero, despite the fact the last time he saw him, Adrien was sobbing, in tears, and cursing his name. Adrien, after all the abuse he was subject to, having to look up at a statue of his father and...... be forced to think that maybe he was wrong about his father. But he's not wrong. He WASN'T wrong. He just THINKS that he is. His father is going to continue to loom over his life in ways I never expected post-hawkmoth. Adrien's relationship with Gabriel has not ended, a new and terrifying and horrible new chapter of it has simply begun, and Adrien is still as manipulated by his father's ghost as he was by his father himself.

THAT'S. WILD!!!

also, Adrien now believes that MONARCH MURDERED HIS FATHER. Chat Noir now believes that his greatest nemesis KILLED HIS FATHER. CHAT NOIR, resident self-sacrificer, believes that HIS FATHER was a HERO who DIED FIGHTING MONARCH. Adrien thinks that maybe he should be more like his father— more like his father who died in battle. This is. Not Good. For Adrien.

And it's Marinette that started this. Well intentioned Marinette, who doesn't really understand the extent of the horrors. Marinette, Adrien's girlfriend, the person he trusts most. She did this.

And, I mean.... god. I totally get how this sucks for a lot of people, because it's objectively upsetting.... but I LOVE lovesquare tension. Season 4 is probably my favorite season for that reason alone (still mulling over if season 5 beat it for me). I love the relationship drama, I love that it's in character drama, I love how it fits everything we know about them sososo well, I love that it's horrible and it's terrible and it's awful and it's all because Marinette loved Adrien too much to want to hurt him.

I was worried no reveal would mean that season 6 would just be... what? adrienette fluff? not that I don't love that, but where's the drama? well. there it is. that's the drama.

I need to stop typing this. I know this is abysmally long and ranty and if you read all of this then I'm sorry. But I wanted to get some of my thoughts out.

But basically, I was expecting a lot of things for the finale.

In my best case scenario, it would somehow, miraculously tie up and address all the loose ends with Adrien's angst and character arc in two episodes.... and then end with me totally satisfied, ready to only half-heartedly watch season 6 like it was just a small dessert after the main course.

And I already described my worst case scenario (my first impression of the episode lmao)

But it wasn't that. I was expecting a series finale, but I got a season finale. And I love season finales. I love how they keep me wanting more. I love how excited I am for season 6, because in both my best and worst case scenarios, I honestly didn't expect to be. I love all the new ideas and thoughts and scenarios swirling around in my brain. And even if season 6 doesn't address some of the things I want addressed, I'm so excited to see the creative content in this fandom that DOES

[reuben-7991]

Octavian’s treatment is one of my least favorite things about HoO because it isn’t his character, it’s his lack of one.

We COULD’VE had an excellent character who was a look into what could truly go wrong with blind devotion like Octavian’s, drawing an excellent parallel to Luke’s blind hatred in the original series (Percy even says Octavian reminds him of Luke).

We COULD’VE had a fantastic contrast into a follower’s descent into insanity after making empty promises of power whilst under the influence of a massively elder being, thus leading to said follower’s death.

What makes me especially mad is that Octavian has no backstory. This is a problem with a lot of Roman characters, but Octavian especially. He doesn’t even have a last name. All we know is:

- He’s a legacy of Apollo.

- He used to be sane and probably very charismatic, due to Reyna stating she used to have a crush on him in TTT.

That’s it! One of Rick’s gold stars is that his human characters are just that: human. They have motivations and flaws, deeply personal origins and ideals that affect their actions and their outcomes. None of the villains are just plain villains, evil by birth. They have motives to back up their actions (now weither those motives make sense or not, that’s another story, but they’re still there.) There’s Luke, Medea, Lityerses (who is an entire other can of worms), Circe, Loki, Gunilla, Randolph, hell, even Kronos and Gaea. All of them have reasons for the shitty stuff they did. Octavian is a glaring exception. We know he’s power-hungry, but we don’t know why. We know he’s violent, but we don’t know why. We know he hates the Greeks, but we don’t know why. You may argue ‘oh, he’s a minor character, he doesn’t really get a reasoning’ which is just blatantly untrue on both fronts.

1: Octavian is NOT a minor character in the slightest. He has major roles in the plot throughout the books.

2: Him being a ‘minor’ villain wouldn’t have anything to do with his motivation. Chris from the OG series has stated motivation, and he’s way more minor than Octavian.

Another thing is that Octavian’s insanity is played off almost comically. He’s relatively well put together in SoN, only being super dramatic and reportedly blackmailing Hazel and probably other legionnaires, but by BoO he’s absolutely broken. He’s utterly obsessed with being a hero to the Romans, with being Pontifex Maximus, with killing Gaea and almost proving himself to Apollo (who is utterly disgusted by him), but it’s all either framed as ‘hate this guy more plsplspls’ or brushed away to the side.

I’m torn on his death scene, because it’s a good scene overall but too much of it is humorous in my opinion. Between Will calling Octavian an ‘anemic loser’ (which like. what.) and Leo describing his screams as a little girl’s, it seems almost too light for such a pivotal point in the story. Octavian has truly lost himself to madness, ranting and raving and insisting no, HE has to be the one to kill Gaea, HE has to be a hero.

His death is horrific, yet it’s framed as a silly oopsie.

What the fuck.

Overall, Octavian is a shining example of missed character potential. We could have gotten the Riordan special and made to empathize more with our villain, like what happened with Luke or Randolph from MCGA, but all we get is a crazy blond kid, character so shallow he could count as a tide pool. It infuriates me to no end how in a sea of good, properly motivated antagonists, Octavian is the outlier.

It’s a real shame.

[natasha-in-space]

So I'm replaying Ray's After ending rn, and it got me thinking that what I adore so much about Rika as an antagonist is just how damn scary she can be. I always found those who cause harm with good intentions (at least in their point of view) much scarier than those who hurt you with pure intention on hurting you. I think the best example of it is this CG in particular:

Look at that. Such a loving, gentle expression on her face. Probably kissing his forehead. Because she loves him. Heck, without any context, this CG looks even sweet, if you think about it. And yet, all that is while Saeyoung is forcefully sedated on a powerful concoction of drugs even a trained agent like him can't do anything about (and Saeyoung WAS definitely trained to deal with this sort of thing, hence it's mentioned that this is a 'special' kind of drugs). He looks miserable. Bags under his eyes, his expression pained and troubled, even his hair is paler than usual. All that as a direct result of her actions. But she's utterly blind to it. What's scarier, is that she knowingly shuts off her understanding of what's really happening. She's not oblivious to it at all. She just chooses not to see it that way. Simply because she doesn't want to.

Rika is the type of antagonist that will cup your cheek into her warm hand with the most loving of smiles on her face, all while you are getting elixir poured down your throat. Even whispering to you that you're doing great, that the pain will soon pass, and that she can't wait to see you reach the happiness she knows you deserve. I won't be surprised if she even cried genuine tears of compassion during some ceremonies for her believers. All while being the sole reason behind their suffering.

And that's... God, that's terrifying to me. I love that about her.

Rika Kim, they could never make me hate you

[hella1975]

so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment

[misstwisted]

rant time

I hate romance booktok so much it’s literally making me wanna eat myself whole. WHY WHY WHY IS EVERY BOOK REC EITHER THE MOST BORING LITERATURE EVER WRITTEN OR AUTHORS MAKING THE MOST STALE PLOTS WITH NO SUBSTANCE JUST TO WRITE OUT THEIR DEGENERATE ABUSE FANTASIES THEIR PARTNERS WONT ACT OUT ON THEM?

Oh I know, because it makes money and these authors don’t actually care about writing good stories with characters people will care about. They wanna jerk off and get paid while doing it.

And yes yes I know not every book is like that but it FEELS like it is because that’s all that get fucking popular which shows how melted these peoples heads are. Name one popular booktok book I can guaranteed there’s something terrible in it that people disguise as romantic. Also most of these romance authors are just straight up terrible people that will always have a army of horny middle aged women defending them. Penelope Douglas’s obvious incest fantasies and the weird posts about her daughter, Coho romanticiztion of abuse, etc.

I am so done with people trying to defend booktok because it’s obvious to me they either don’t understand or don’t want people insulting what gets them off. I literally saw a reel saying “book triggers are just checklists for me” and some of the book triggers included were “CANNIBALISM, ABUSE, CHILD SA, INCEST” like WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? THIS IS FUCKING WRONG.

not even kidding here it is:

“at least people are reading”? Reading what? This garbage? Fuck off.

[ganondoodle]

(this is not about anyone in particular but i have encountered this argument alot too so i wanna say sth about it)

the thing that people like to use as an excuse to why totks story was so lackluster that they think of the gameplay first

but how is that an excuse for bad story and inconsistency with the game its supposedly a sequel too? does good gameplay suddendly mean that the story gotta be bad? they made it work just fine with botw, sure its got its problems and there are things that could have been better like in any game, but they made it work with the themes, it felt harmonical with the rest of it

yeah the story feels like an afterthought in totk, bc it probably was, but it didnt have to be, and not to toot my own horn here but thats what im trying to do with the rewrite, yes im including some wishes i have that would never be canon but this is ultimately wasted work im doing anyway, im restructuring the whole game bc i want it to be in tune with itself, i took the route of most changes bc its my little brainfart were i can make it into something i really want while using the real game as a basis, all that work is in vain anyway so why not go all out, but i have several ideas, some even written out, on how you could have made it better, sometimes with minimal changes even and even then, they dont matter, the game is done and higely successful, im just a random dude on the internet thats part of the 0.01% of fans that dont like it, im just insane enough (or autistic enough lol) to basically do game design and writing for an entire game IP i dont own and never will for a game thats already finished and wont change regardless of how much work i do or how much i yell about it

if you think its 'unfair' to the canon game bc some things are not doable (tho honestly given what they have already been able to do nintedny would absolutely be able to do everything im writing) or bc im changing so much then ok? if you think they had their reasons and thats ok with you then ok?

im not tho, and no i dont think they had a good reason nor good excuse to do it like this, thats my opinion anyway, and my opinion doesnt matter in the grant scheme of things

like you dont have to like anything i do with it, its not a demand of the devs, the games done already anyway and nothign will change that, im literally just making it into the sequel i would have loved, i would have wanted, i would think is better but thats just me, all of the work im doing for this project is an outlet for my frustration with the game that i cant let go bc i love the franchise, and most importantly botw, so much that i cant let it go

so if you dont like what im doing, thats fine, but move on then pls bc im not demanding anyone to like it and if you choose to engage with it despite not liking it thats not my fault now is it

and if you do like it i want to thank you for your support!! it means alot that maybe, even if its technically wasted work and time, its really not fully useless, if it can bring even one other person a little joy, thats a good engouh reason for me to keep posting it :3

[chocmuffinsscones]

Kacchan is actually so, so loved.

His mom is right, he's a brat cuz he quickly got over his head when he was constantly praised by people around him. His parents must've love him so much with how well he physically is - healthy, clean, unbruised. Probably not a popular opinion but I think his mom treating him aggressively is a way to tone him down, to remind him of manners that he might've slipped from being too pompous. And also, it's an asian thing, ESPECIALLY in Japan where senpai-kouhai/elderly hierarchy is strongly regarded.

Still, Katsuki always demands attention like he doesn't have enough of it. He used to aim for being no.1 to gain attention where it'll feed his ego. Even with his obnoxious behaviour, he always had a pass cuz he IS talented, smart and very gifted. People allowed his atrocity cuz they believe he can still contribute to the hero society.

But Katsuki has a way to seek love that he truly yearns and needs. Maybe it's another gifted kid syndrome or an instinctual thing, that he could feel he is so loved in a way he was not expecting. The people who only sees him on the surface aside, Katsuki was constantly showered under the kind of love that is very forgiving, patient, and positive of his coming around. Aizawa, kirishima, his parents, AM, Izuku...

Aizawa and AM regard Katsuki in a similar fashion as his parents did, acting as a guidance that sometimes switching between being strict or encouraging. Kirishima was slightly special because he was the first one to accept his foul personality and would still praise and be amazed by his ability. To me, Katsuki must've value the gratification of someone acknowledging his entirety and would still respect him as well as give him fuel to his ego. Kirishima is passionate of integrity and righteousness. He's quite open-minded and is pretty forgiving, thus forming a suitable concoction of personalities that matches Katsuki's kind of "love" he grew accustomed to.

However, if it all comes to that preferences, why did he reject Izuku's "love" when kirishima's worked but not his? To be fair, Izuku's "love" for Katsuki is pretty much similar as to his parents' as well as kirishima's. But since the river incident, Katsuki's young mind has decided to antagonised that alien kind of love which he was going to get used to (from his parents) anyway. Because receiving that sort of acceptance and appreciation from a child his age kinda oppose the idea of him being special. Little Katsuki was building up a reputation of being the best and the most unique kid in the neighborhood , if he acknowledged Izuku's recognition of his "front", it would meant he wasn't really that special after all. Little Katsuki couldn't have that, and so it brought forward to their entire childhood until UA, rejecting that obvious, his preferred type of "love" that he labeled as disgusting due to their antagonistic relationship.

That's why after dvk2, when Katsuki has finally confronted that impulsive naivety he held onto, he became unconsciously openly seek out Izuku's "love" to him. He loves being seen and appreciated the right way, the way that reminds him of his humanity, that keeps him grounded, that asks his self-awareness of his capabilities and therefore pushes him becoming better every time. Izuku was different from Kirishima because Katsuki had never level himself with him the way he did with Izuku - notwithstanding the whole rivalry on win to save, save to win thing. Also, the simple fact that their familiarity of one another's traits are what keeping them tightly enveloped in an indissoluble bubble of intimacy.

Katsuki demands attention like a brat. He craves attention and love from where he seeks. As prefaced, he has preferences and that he categorised them. It's interesting though that due to his immature obstinacy, he had created a situation where he is now forcing himself in a state of overcompensation towards Izuku's year's worth of "love" towards him. (He knew he was truly at fault, and he knew Izuku still accepts him nonetheless (i.e dvk2), but the way he tried to keep a distance between them to maintain their norm is, in actuality, not normal. Counting in the fact that at the same time he still craves Izuku's "love" when he self-inserted as the one to pull the leash.

Tsk tsk, Katsuki truly is a child raised by love.

[tepehkwi]

i am going to make my own post because i feel like i can kind of speak to this as someone who was formerly misguided but i used to have a lot of issues with what the hell my identity even was, and i once went through a brief phase where, being a butch and amab trans person, i personally thought that my whole deal could be summed up as "i feel transmasculine because i am definitely 'trans' and i am butch and i feel masc, i don't really feel feminine and idk about whether or not i feel like a woman, can't it work that way?" and the answer is... not really? forgive me if i am not the most articulate person but this has been on my mind a lot lately due to the discourse over the "can a cis woman call herself an afab transfem?" question.

this is not the same as other so-called "contradictory labels" like, idk, bi lesbians and pan gays or whatever. because the 'masc' and 'fem' parts of transmasc and transfem do not exactly denote masculine and feminine necessarily. and i completely empathize with these terms not being perfect due to the heavily gendered baggage (and transneutral is one that a lot of both tme and tma trans people i know use but this one is also complicated because even "neutral" still carries gendered baggage, though i understand that this term can be more affirming and euphoric to a lot of people) but these terms can maybe more accurately be defined as words that identify clusters of experience? specifically whether someone in the trans community is transmisogyny-affected or transmisogyny-exempt.

i regularly see the same small number of other trans people insisting that transmisogyny-affected and transmisogyny-exempt is creating some kind of unnecessary division or "new binary" in the trans community but this is why i actually find tme and tma far more useful for describing experiences than transmasc and transfem. if anything, "transmasc and transfem" are arguably (but i'm not making this argument necessarily) more of a "new binary" than tme and tma.

because, as it stands, "transmasc" does not actually mean "trans and masc" it means "afab and transmisogyny-exempt trans person". there are transmascs who are very feminine and transfems like myself who are very masculine. but those feminine transmascs are still as transmisogyny-exempt as cis people are, whereas transfems or tma trans people, regardless of our presentation, are still transmisogyny-affected. all of the time. transmascs may face misdirected transmisogyny and misdirected misogyny, and transmisogyny-exempt nonbinary people may still face misogyny, but amab trans people, whether we identify as nonbinary or transfeminine or transneutral, are still transmisogyny-affected. we are placed in an entirely different box from trans people who are transmisogyny-exempt.

these words and this terminology are not perfect, i am not the first person to say this! but tme and tma are still the most accurate terms we have to describe how this whole gender thing functions in our societies. transmisogyny-affected people experience transmisogyny, which can be inflicted upon us by any transmisogyny-exempt people, including other trans people. that is what we have been trying to tell all of you, this entire time. i sometimes get extremely emotionally overwhelmed because it feels like people are not listening to us, regarding this one basic fact.

so, like, idk, if you seriously genuinely want to call yourself an afab transfem and "nonbinary" doesn't work for you for some reason and you don't "feel cis", can you *at least* please, pretty please, start clarifying that you're transmisogyny-exempt? at the absolute very least?? because you are. you may call yourself transfem and i literally can't stop you, none of us can. but, like other transfems on this site have already said, being around transmisogyny-exempt queer people of any gender can make us as tma trans people feel like we're in the company of ticking time bombs, because of how deeply engrained transmisogyny is in transmisogyny-exempt people. most *transmisogyny-affected* people feel safest around other *transmisogyny-affected* people because of that *transmisogyny* thing we experience all of the time. we don't just "feel" threatened, we are literally threatened by transmisogyny, and transmisogyny-exempt people, no matter who they are or what their gender is, are capable of inflicting transmisogyny upon us.

would it kill you to be mindful of that? 🙏🏽

[corfisers]

i really need to finish this one day

[blushy-tigerrr]

vent in tags sorry

cw: mention of loss

[kavehater]

Chappel Roan saying she’s sad she’s demisexual and then there’s me being aroace as a whole like don’t you think I’m even more sad 😭

[contagious-watermelon]

It's interesting to me that understandings of transsexuality have been almost exclusively filtered through the lens of queerness and the social aspects of gender. In other words, that the "T" was added to "LGBT." I've thought for a while that in a lot of cases, transness — and specifically dysphoria — makes a lot more sense when analyzed through the lens of disability rather than through queerness. (Personally I see it as being at the intersection between those things.)

I think that a theory of transsexuality would be incomplete without taking into account the societal aspects of gender, yes, but it seems to be similarly incomplete in the popular understanding of it.

I've seen a lot of discussion in the stuff I've read by disabled people about the contention between being objectively harmed or, well, disabled, by your disability, but still wanting to be proud of it or finding identity in it regardless. A lot of autistic communities, I've noticed, talk a lot about the fact that being autistic is difficult; it's made worse by other people's reactions to it, but it still is hard on its own (e.g. auditory overstimulation); yet people still can say that they'd rather be autistic than not. Or they may say they wish they weren't, but that they've come to terms with it because it's not exactly changeable.

Point is, there's open discussion about the differences between inherent challenges to your disability regardless of society, the ways which ableism makes things more difficult, and the contention of finding identity and community in your disability despite that. (And I use autism as an example because I'm autistic; I don't want to speak for, say, a physically disabled community as I'm able-bodied. But I have seen similar discussions there as well.)

The trans community, as I've seen, doesn't really have that. We're polarized between the extremely self-hating people who think that being trans is a curse and that people who like being trans are just fakers co-opting transness, and the toxically positive contingent who refuse to engage with the fact that sometimes dysphoria really does just hurt. And also that transphobia exists.

There's also the fact that in many ways, dysphoria is actually disabling. It isn't for everyone, and part of the problem is that transness as a concept covers so many things that analyzing it through just one lens will always be incomplete, but for me at least it caused me a lot of depression and dissociation, and made it difficult-to-impossible to interact with other people or function at my classes. Back before I medically transitioned, I related a lot to some descriptions by disabled people about their chronic pain, because my dysphoria effectively was chronic psychological pain. I don't want to say it's the same thing, because obviously I've only experienced one of those things, and dysphoria has a treatment while many (all?) chronic illnesses don't, but nevertheless it was a comforting lens to think of my dysphoria through in the time before I got top surgery.

Also of note is the way both our communities are treated by the medical establishment. I've heard many horror stories by disabled people of how doctors simply refuse to diagnose them or give them issues with their meds. Trans people obviously also have to deal with the shit that doctors put out in order to get access to HRT and any necessary surgeries. People deride HRT, saying that we shouldn't take it because it'll "make you a medical patient for life." People act like mental pain isn't real — calling depression fake, acting like because things like fibromyalgia aren't "real pain" that it shouldn't bother you so much, etc. — and that extends too into the way they dismiss the pain of gender dysphoria.

So, I don't really understand why the trans community has taken so many pains to disavow themselves from being considered even remotely similar to disabled people. I know that the common refrain, "we're not mentally ill!" is meant to combat the idea that we're deluded into thinking that we're a "different gender" than we really are, but the effect is throwing actually mentally ill trans people under the bus. The insistence that there's no way that dysphoria should be considered a disorder because there's nothing wrong with us — I just think that we could take a hint or two from the way that disabled people theorize about this subject.

[thatpurpleraccoon]

derek angst again!!

[rouge-fauna]

It’s interesting how the issue evolved into about tone policing and vague posting, when really it’s more so that if people think someone is being harmful then that someone should get the right to address that before being bashed. Not to say someone has to openly or directly disagree with people (though I personally think it is likely more productive to), especially when there are people who would react poorly to that and may believe in completely different facts so common ground may not exist. I’m not saying people are wrong for being vague and not saying things to people’s faces. People have a right to an opinion and to run their blog as they please. But I think it becomes problematic when things devolve not just to calling people and their analysis idiotic, but whether people’s parents were abusive and accusing them of a pretty serious offense. Like I said previously, we are always going to talk about people behind their back, and that can sometimes get to the point of insults, that’s part of life. It becomes harmful I think when it’s inciting a mob with torches and pitchforks and saying things that aren’t true or taken out of context to the point of a needless witch hunt.

I think one of the saddest parts of it all to me is that not only did it cause harm to the people involved but to everyone around witnessing it. It didn’t just burn down the accused witch’s house but the fire spread to the surrounding houses filling the whole town with smoke. And it’s sad to me too, because I try to open things up for disagreement and am okay with admitting when I’m wrong (despite my joke about always being right :D). I have tried to make this a safe place no matter the opinion, and on so many more posts than the ones looked at was saying the very opposite. And it’s sad because I would have loved to have an in-depth talk about it addressing the issue and looking further into it. Maybe my diagnosis was wrong, maybe he has a different diagnosis, I would have loved to dive into that. If you think a take or something I said is incorrect, I’m okay with that, come talk to me. Tell and show me why. You think Dream isn’t autistic or staged duo aren’t close or whatever, come prove me wrong or show me your point of view. I’m posting stuff on a public platform to talk about it whether you want to add on, disagree or show a different view, if I didn’t want that I would just tell it to people on the side in private or not do public tags. I’m not posting about lore or analysis or my thoughts on here to be complimented, I’m here to talk about something that I love. And disagreement shouldn’t be something to avoid and turn to nastiness, but something to embrace. If we continue to surround ourselves with people who just agree with us, then we aren’t giving ourselves the space to grow and change. And a mistake or being wrong shouldn’t be something to avoid, you can’t be better unless you know what you’re doing wrong. But neither of those things can be positive or productive unless approached in a respectful manner.

And I think it’s not about hypocrites or the past culture and behavior of the fandom, it’s about growing and doing better. We don’t have to stay in this place of harassment, negativity, and hating on someone or something they said, especially as so many people left the fandom and new people are coming in. It’s not about dwelling on what’s happened in the past, but how can we do better in the future. Just because something happened before doesn’t mean we should just accept it and let it happen again. I get the impression that the newcomers have a different outlook as they more so have the opportunity to watch more povs and don’t have to wait months in between things and there is no new lore and that changes the perspective, and that gives us a great opportunity to try and be better. To change the insult and conflict heavy culture into something new. I think we don’t have to continue being such a divided fandom like it’s been in the past. Let’s take a page out of the finale and break the cycle, dreblr/dsmp tumblr 2. :)