#i am a utilitarian above all else (not true but funny to say)

[paper-mario-wiki]

IM TOTALLY NOT JEALOUS OF HOW PRETTY U LOOK AND TOTALLY DONT WANNA LEARN HOW TO DO MAKEUP THAT LOOKS THAT GOOD OR ANYTHING...

the cool thing about makeup is that if u dont do a good job u can wipe it off and try again. just do that. the first makeup item i purchased was a shitty eyeliner on a whim for 9 dollars from safeway while i was high, and that was 12 days ago (i checked, that's when the first pictures of me wearing makeup are from).

a few days after that, about 8 days ago, i went to sephora and spent around 90 bucks on all the essentials. foundation, concealer, eyebrow filler, mascara, lipstick, and a brush. and then i went home and shaved my face, and the next day i just stood in front of the mirror for a few hours trying to make myself look pretty.

it's just somethin ya gotta be patient with! there's a reason it consistently takes up to and over an hour to put on good looking makeup!

[kristinarambles]

Theme Song

Analysis One:

When I first started watching this show it was to find something my oldest daughter [who was three at the time] and I could watch together. We had been watching Gravity Falls but I knew it was coming to an end and I was pretty tired of Shimmer and Shine and Daniel Tiger and whatnot [not that there’s anything wrong with them and in fact I like them, just was over it lol]. Disney movies over and over I can do but I wanted something new that I could really get into. My sister loved it and I saw screenshots and stuff all over Tumblr so I was curious. I sought my sisters referral and she told me it was beautiful but might contain content that Andrea was too young to understand/comprehend, but even so it was made so it would still entertain her and contained a lot of themes that would reinforce the type of things I was trying to teach her as a mother. Now my youngest who was a babe-in-arms when we started has reached about the same age as Andrea was when we started watching and it's all of our big thing that we watch together and love so much. It met and exceeded all of my expectations in every way. The artwork and music is beautiful, I've added several of the songs to my "playlist" of lullaby's that the children request for me to sing to them. The girls adore the characters, Andrea even named "her” dog after Pearl [she’s even got the sharp nose true to form, but as a counterpoint likes to eat trash and roll in the mud]. They play games set to the story, talk about it all the time, cheer them on as we watch and even cry. It keeps us engaged and guessing and even my husband doesn't mind it and will occasionally watch the new episodes with us. We love how excited the kids get about them lol.

I was going to just jump into the first episode, but I thought I should do a little breakdown of the theme songs first,the old one from the first season and the one we've been using since the beginning of season two until presumably we'll get a new one at the start of season six. Also forgive me for not having pictures, but I don’t want to be stealing pictures even with references or tags and I have two children so I don’t have the time or patience to be going and getting my own screengrabs.

First I think it's interesting that in the old theme Pearl and Amethyst [Amethyst pulling out/down her shirt] both show off their glowing gems but you can only see one of Garnet’s as she adjusts her shades. Steven's can be seen glowing until he finishes his little somersault and his shirt settles. I like how the next few flashes show his youth [and immaturity] in comparison to the Gems as well. After seeing the theme we've had the last couple of years so many times I really love the parallels and changes. How when the warp pad goes off Steven just passively floats upside down, he makes a face when Garnet ruffles his hair [which is one of my favorite of their earlier interactions], running to catch up to them and then leaping to get in the lead. It gives us a real feel for their relationship but in an abstract way. Steven is the kid brother, to be protected and sheltered, maybe even a little annoying. They love him, but he isn't really a member of the team, he's just a tag-along. Then it evolves, they start in the temple but it appears that they're at the galaxy warp in the second theme. They focus on the Gems faces now and not their gems. He is now the one who activates the warp, with a hint of the Diamond Salute, everyone ruffles his hair while he smiles [with star eyes no less] because he knows how much they love him. Then the running with Steven trying to catch up turning to all of them just posing one by one with their weapons, but still as a team. We get a nice shot of Connie as the van drives through Beach City, she is front and foremost from our point of view. Lars and Sadie, Mr. Smiley, the Cool kids, Kiki and Nanefua are all there but Connie is the most important. Lots of people have pointed out the change in her appearance in the theme, and it's certainly the most obvious but I like how subtly everyone else changed too. Lars goes from throwing himself against the window to leaning comfortably, Sadie even looks more comfortable. The Cool Kids are now hanging out in front of The Big Donut instead of on the curb across the street. Onion is on top of it when originally it seemed that Mr. Smiley was about to toss him out. Looking back he was probably just handing him off to Sour Cream, but we didn't know he was his big brother back then. Jamie has been added, although off to the side sulking [of course]. Also added are Mayor Dewey, Kofi, and the Frymans. As funny as it is to see Ronaldo being flustered at the van driving by instead of Lars, my heart is warmed by PeeDee hanging out smiling on his father's shoulders and waving at Steven. It might be more symbolism that Ronaldo is trying to gather up his papers but pauses to watch the van go by. He has a tendency to let his theories run away with him, but Steven has consistently set him straight.

All that being said, Connie's transformation is arguably the most important other than Steven himself, although in light of Pink Lars and Rock Star Sadie not necessarily the most drastic in appearance. She is still on the outskirts, but it's no longer because she's an outsider as evidenced by her running after the van instead of just holding her hat in place due to the wind made by it passing her. I love the contrast in her traditionally feminine skirt to her more utilitarian shorts and clutching her book and holding onto her hat turning into still holding the book but loosely by her side instead of tightly to her chest and resting her sword comfortably on her shoulder. I really identified with early Connie and her escape into books. As a Navy brat I moved a lot, and being the oldest I had a lot of responsibility I didn't really want. When we first meet her in Bubble Buddies and she doesn't even notice Steven because she was so into her reading, I felt that on a very visceral level. I wish I could have found real magic like she did lol. Her books are still a part of her, but she’s grown so much, trained to be strong and skillful, earning her place on the team. I don’t think we ever actually see her wear a hat in show, and she loses her literal rose tinted lenses and adds in her glow bracelet showing off her and Steven’s friendship.

Greg is finally shown at the end, representing Steven's human needs with a grill haha, then in a final bit of symbolism in the first theme we see each of the Gems get their own frame with their name superimposed above them. They each get a slightly different time of day and a signature little move to show us who they are without saying a word. Garnet reclining in her lawn chair and only moving her foot at sunset. Amethyst flipping her hair at twilight with the moon behind her. Pearl adjusting her skirt as she sits in front of the fully night sky filled with diamond shaped stars. Steven eating a hot dog with the temple at sunrise behind him. In the new theme however they gather around Steven after a casual shot of the temple. Connie runs to join them, Greg relaxes up against a napping Lion. He strums his guitar as Connie turns smiling. Garnet lowers herself to sit behind Steven, Amethyst in her enthusiasm slides to be beside him, Pearl kneels down neatly They all belong there, as a team. They are all still individuals with their own personalities, strengths and weaknesses, but they communicate and fit together so much better now. The title is over all four of them instead of just Steven.

Steven says his powers allow him to connect to people, and sure that's a big part of his gem powers but I think his human half has a really great power too. He has the ability to make people connect to each other. His empathy brings all the people he cares about together and over the course of the series he's been able to dissect and help them solve the issues keeping them apart as well as deal with their own self images and trauma.

There's been a lot of speculation about a new theme, and although initially I was unhappy with the idea and content with the current theme I am coming around. I was firmly against the idea of Rose being Pink and that turned out better than I ever could have hoped so I'm fully trusting in Rebecca Sugar now. Especially with those scenes at the very end of Change Your Mind. The pan over the Crystal Gems, Off Colors and the humans mingling on the beach with the Diamonds looking over them. The change in lyrics about peace instead of fighting while all of the newly uncorrupted gems reunite in the fountain, and the fact that Steven leaves out his own name to make sure he mentions that there's more of them. And then the Crystal Gems in front of the temple, all of them. Lapis and Peridot have officially joined all in, Bismuth is back for good, Connie, Lion and Greg still in their rightful places, even Pumpkin and Cat Steven. It's all just so wonderful, if we do get an updated theme I'm sure it will be just as lovely, I'm trying not to have expectations although the parallels seem to indicate that at least that last bit in front of the temple will be integrated.

[inexchangeforyoursoul]

... remember when I had that good swing on that long self-insert fic going? Yeah, me too. Good times. [ffn] [AO3]

Well... I sat the fuck down and finished up the next one. Joke is... 33 will be the hardest to do lmao I’m so not ready

Anyway, this instalment takes a Definitely Spoopy turn; wanted to publish it at Halloween for a reason, but, uh, as you can see... it’s mid fucking December. Not even the Robin time can rectify that.

32. White noise

“Oh, my, what pretty flowers have sprouted here overnight,” comes the amused voice of Robin from behind them not two seconds later.

Law’s eyes shoot up immediately, and he also sits up post-haste, almost headbutting the railing himself. “Nico-ya…” he starts with a wary drawl; “since when have you been here?” She's the nosy type, too… might have heard fucking everything. Shit.

Kat also turns towards her with open arms. “Ah, Robin!”

“I see you’re in a much better mood than before…. good for you,” she smiles at Kat immediately upon seeing her enthusiastic, flushed little face, and sprouts a hand on her back to give her head a scratching, which she seems to enjoy quite a lot. “As for your question… five minutes, maybe?” she shrugs then at Law as the moaning watering can in her hands is put to work. “Your vivid duet was hard to miss,” she continues with a chuckle. “You shouldn’t lie around in this weather, though, lest you catch Miss Kat a cold for next week.”

He feels blood rush to his face again. For some reason, getting caught laughing by her is as embarrassing as anything else. As is getting talked to like a toddler.

“I wasn’t planning on staying here much longer anyhow,” he grumbles with a huff. “We have business to attend to, not to mention that you being out gardening equals to everything getting wetter and colder, anyway.”

Next thing he knows is that she’s holding the can directly above him for a quick shower; he’s just dumbfounded, and Kat snorts as soon as the action registers.

“You’ll be the one to give me a cold this way, Robin,” she giggles then just as the woman moves on.

“Sorry, couldn’t resist… do you want me to get him one, too?” the archeologist asks then, offering the business end of the object.

“What’s with all of you today, I swear…” Law shakes his head, and the curly hair sprays everyone with the water that’s stuck among the curls. “Are you standing in for Nose-ya, or what?” Him, Carrot and Luffy are the only ones up for this kind of bullshit at any given time. And Chopper, whenever they can rake him into idiocy.

“I suppose someone has to,” she hums, pouring a little of the leftover water on Kat while passing. “It gets mundane without the kids around.” The can sinks into a barrel of water to refill.

“It sure was too peaceful out here to be true,” the man mumbles standing up, then bows down to shake out whatever water is left and willing to drop. “Or inside, for that matter. I’m missing a bunch of my crew for sure, and by the looks of it, so do you,” he says then, straightening up. He’ll need to fetch a towel, goddamn. Also, he’s officially really, really cold.

“Oh… everyone’s being scarce?” asks Kat while wiping the water off her face, then also swishing whatever possible out of her hair. Nami kept her company, but she couldn't help notice the empty seats during breakfast.

The archeologist nods. “Yes… I went ahead and checked the other ship on my way up myself. Nary a soul. And, as you may have noticed already, our wacky musician and sniper, as well as little doctor are yet to be accounted for. Since Franky just left with Sanji and Carrot to shop for odds and ends, this ship is as good as dead,” she states, pulling the filled container out of the barrel. She stops to think for a second. “I am a little worried, though,” she notes then, looking out towards town. “The boys may have gone out together, but Chopper is not one to stay out for an entire night. As an animal, he needs plenty of rest. I doubt he has that luxury out there… the commotion died off early in the morning, and the music is already starting up again.”

“Yeah, it's always pretty noisy on this weekend,” agrees Kat while Law murmurs something that sounds like a ‘thought so,’ likely referring to his crewmates. The ruckus is bad enough that she’s decidedly happy over being able to stay over for these two nights specifically.

“If they don’t get back soon I’ll have to assume they got themselves lynched in a dark alley,” the woman declares as the moaning ghost starts spewing water again.

“… even Brook?” muses the girl two seconds down the line with a raised brow and half a smile.

Hearing that brings back Robin’s, too. “Even though he’s already dead? Yes.”

Law finds the idea less funny. “Don’t jinx it, Nico-ya. I doubt they would have any problems with some ragtag thieves, but we know for a fact that there are some shifty folks out in some alleys,” he informs the woman while pointing towards Kat with a thumb, then starts rubbing himself for some warmth. He could have lived his entire life without having been reminded of that situation, really.

“… oh. Yeah, there was that, too, huh.” She… forgot about that, despite the adventure freaking her out quite a lot at the time. Thinking about this, she also stands up at last, patting the dirt and whatever there is off her dew-soaked thighs.

The tense focus returns. “Oh my… then I better get looking as soon as possible, don’t I.”

“I’m about to send Jean Bart out to collect our entourage, too. Might as well join him.” He’s there for sure, heard him cursing on his way up. Also the only other person to keep people on task on board of the Polar Tang, so there’s noone better to get those sad excuses of pirates moving again.

“Would you be so kind as to ask him to look for our lost ones in my stead, then?” Robin turns to Law after short consideration.

“Huh?” Backing out? Nico-ya, of all people? “Why that?”

She sighs. “I would prefer not to spend more time out with all the bushoo around is all… They make me feel uneasy, even despite the cute costumes.” She still thinks it was silly to miss out on most of the fair on Tuesday because of the minute weakness of being reminded of what happened in the city of water when she was alone with Chopper for a little, but last night, the entire flocks of them really made her nervous for some reason. She constantly felt like being watched by those vacant, painted-on eyes. All in all, soon after Nami and Carrot left, she also excused herself.

“Well, fine by me,” the man sighs then, giving his freezing self one last rub. “I guess you’ll be willing to come practice now, too?” he turns then to Kat while wiping a stray drop of water falling out of his hair.

“Um… yeah.” She’s getting unsure again, and can already see today becoming extremely awkward with the two of them just… being stuck in the same, cluttered room. Alone. Just… don’t think about it. Don’t think about it.

“Thank you,” Robin nods with notable relief, with the once more empty can in her flailing hand. “And you do your best, alright?” she smiles then at Kat, who’s also starting to get cold by the looks of it.

“No need to, Nico-ya,” Law replies while moving back direction hellcave, with Kat tiptoeing backwards in tow with a wave and hum.

Pretty much as soon as they enter the metal staircase, it becomes obvious how few people are around. Not because they are not physically present, but rather… the silence is too big for this to be a ship with twenty plus people on board.

Hearing someone make a racket under these circumstances sticks out like a sore thumb, though. As is the one making it in general.

Law turns a corner Kat has never taken before. She follows him awkwardly after a second of consideration, then takes a quick look around the humid room they arrive at; the showers are about as utilitarian as a place like this can get. There's four stalls, and a metal bench and shelves across them where some people have left some clothing articles and soap lying about. She also notes some pipes on the floor next to Jean Bart, who is standing in the middle in a small puddle and fills half the midspace himself… they must be for that leakage problem from the other day. Explains why he's ripping off half the metal ceiling, if nothing else.

“Jean, sorry to bother you right now, but would you be so kind and, uh, ‘collect’ our idiots from town?” asks Law without beating around the bush.

The burly man sighs. “Did think it right when considering it myself, ey? Will do, capt’n. I’m not the man for the rest of this, anyway.”

“Thanks,” Law waves with a nod, already turning around to trod deeper down into the submarine. “Oh, and… keep an eye out for the other bunch, while at it.”

An unwilling grunt. “… if I must.”

By the time they arrive at the bottom, a total silence sets in. And soon enough Kat has to admit that unfortunately, she cannot concentrate to save her life… exactly as she’s feared, she has difficulty paying attention. Only after five minutes, she becomes sickeningly aware of the fact that she’s all alone with Law, or, occasionally, it’s her imagination that starts tugging her away to other times and places. It’s all bad or embarrassing memories… no matter which happens, however, it’s on the uncomfortable side of nervous. Instead of butterflies, there are barely not cramping muscles on the menu. Not sure whether this is the better of the two worlds…

Just to make things harder, the ambience really seems off today. Like, yeah, the buzzing is still there, but at any other time, there’s the crew up and about every now and then on this floor, not to mention their voices can echo down here all the way up from the dining hall. But today… there’s nothing. Apart from her grumbling stomach, that is. Like in the evening, she couldn't get much food down her throat at breakfast, and it's finally catching up with her…

After an hour or so, the silence itself has grown into just another reason to be on edge, and soon enough, it’s Kat’s main concern. Instead of wanting to be in another room altogether, she gets the feeling that there’s some monster lurking outside in wait, making this room with Law in it the safest place available. Whenever the bells ring outside, it’s like thunder rolling in the dead of the night.

As such, she gets especially nervous upon him leaving said safe bubble after one of these ghastly tolls; if nothing else, it’s extra relieving to see his return in a few minutes. He doesn’t look all that happy with the situation, either.

“This is getting… weird,” he states upon arrival.

“… are they still not back?” That does not sound reassuring. Also, she does need her usual background noise to be somewhat less useless.

The man just hums. “A few of them are, including my three idiots… but something is definitely fishy about this. According to Bepo, they haven’t seen most of the crew since around 2 am when they wobbled back home, not to mention that they have apparently not run into Jean Bart this morning, either.” He sighs with worry, putting up his right to the chin in contemplation. “Maybe they are planning something stupid, since the other crew seems to be involved… but Clione and Uni are not the types who would participate in that, and they’ve been the first to bail.” In their case, it’s been nearly a day by now, too…

Kat also groans. “The submarine is really spooky with nothing but random noises down here… if this is supposed to be a joke, it’s not funny.”

“Same here. Those three just left again, so I asked them to keep an eye out… we’ll see in an hour or two. Until that… might as well have lunch? Or a very belated breakfast… while Fugu is still in.” He’d rather not tempt his luck twice.

As such, the girl gets to be in the dining hall once more. It is a very different experience with only eight people around, counting her, Law and the cook. Latter doesn’t even stay, but packs up to go grocery shopping as soon as they get their servings. Overall, the eerie silence persists. Once three other people leave to go fishing, it becomes nigh unbearable; it’s pure luck that she’s finished up by then. She pours another mug of the tasty, warm tea before descending back into the panic room.

Then the seconds, minutes, then likely multiple hours just pass, and pass in the same vein, until there is quite a racket, first upstairs, then quickly closing in as the staircase is indicating. Almost immediately after, the door bursts open, with three very familiar faces.

“Thank god, you’re still here,” sighs Penguin and nearly collapses from the relief.

“… I’m going to skip the ‘learn knocking’ part, and go straight to questions,” Law insists, his hand nervously grabbing onto the back of the chair. There’s officially a problem, and by god, is he in no position to be of use right now.

“Noone’s here!” cries Shachi; “First it was just weird, then weirder… since we saw literally no friends out in town…!! But then there was one of the fishing rods just lying around outside, and now we didn’t find anyone in the hall, either! I poked my nose into the kitchen while Pengu and Bepo had a look at the bedrooms, but not even Fugu is around! Half of the soup has gone and evaporated already… he should have been back ages ago!” By the time his rant comes to a close, he’s on the verge on tears. Bepo has been at it since the second line, and is sobbing into Penguin’s hat, who’s not even in the mood to scold him for getting it all bear snotty.

Without another word, Law is already outside, busting up door after door.

They open every single one of them, one by one, but there’s no life to be found. Wherever they look, the hallways, Ikkaku’s room, back door of the dining hall, engine, or even the cold room… it's all fallen silent. Not a single soul around apart from Kat, Law, Bepo, Shachi and Penguin. They don’t hear any noise until they enter the showers, where the faulty pipe is still dripping from above through the removed panels. The pulsating darkness gives Kat, who’s been following the boys around in panicked silence, the chills; were she alone, she’d get spooked by her own shadow.

There’s but a ringing in her ears. And it’s deafening.

[osberend]

A third approach to communicating romantic and/or sexual interest (and various other matters)

(Substantial philsophical preface/background analysis follows; skip to the TL;DR if you just want to read the suggested approach itself.)

My views on Ask Culture vs. Guess Culture are well-known among those who are likely to read this post. I firmly believe that it is every free, competent adult’s right to make any request or offer they please to, or to ask any question they please of, any other free, competent adult[1]. Likewise, it is the right of every free, competent adult to say yes, to say no, to decline to answer, or to respond with a question or proposal of their own.

The unfortunate reality is that some people will feel compelled to say yes to explicit requests, either out of a misperception of explicit requests as euphemized demands (as they indeed are in some Guess Cultures (delendi sunt!)), or out of a feeling of that it is somehow impolite to say no.

Some of the latter may not actually say “yes,” but instead “regretfully” give reasons why they can’t do the thing, that are not their actual motives for declining (e.g., “I’d love to, but my parents are very conservative, and they’d hit the roof if they found out.”). Of course, someone who hasn’t been indoctrinated with ridiculous, anti-liberty conversational memes may perceive the given reasons (and statements of regret) as sincere, and try to find ways around them.

And, of course, some such statements are sincere. As far as I can tell, the essence of true Guess Culture bullshit (as distinct from Ask Culture with confusing, non-standard vocabulary) is mandatory ambiguity as a condition of politeness: A demand can never be known for certain to be a demand, nor a refusal to be a refusal, without being rude.

As a matter of principle, my stance here is plain: These realities are just all the more reason that “Guess Culture[2]” delenda est. And if you tell someone that they’re free to say no and they refuse to believe you, any unfortunate results of that refusal may or may not really be their fault, but they’re sure as hell not yours.

That all being said, rights are one thing, and preferences another. I have a right to ask my friends for money every time I see them, and I like having money. But I don’t actually do that, partly because it would irritate them, and I want my friends to be happy. And partly because it would frustrate my own purely selfish aims, when taken as a whole; any money I managed to get would probably benefit me a good deal less than the strain on (or complete loss of) my friendships would harm me.

Similarly, I don’t actually want to have sex with[3][4] women[5] who are only having sex with me because they feel like it would be rude for them not to, let alone because they fear that I might harm them if they don’t. That prospect conflicts with both my benevolence and the intersection of my libido and my pride: I want women to want me, and to walk away from a sexual encounter with me satisfied. Even if I never see them again, I want them, when they think of me in the future, to do so with fondness. (And, ideally, with lust as well. But fondness will do.)

And if I am going to see them again, that’s all the more reason to care about their preferences on the matter at hand as well as my own. I’d rather keep a friendship than have a one-night stand or a brief romantic relationship, followed by their breaking off contact entirely. And I’d rather move slow on the physical side of a romantic relationship, if that’s what will give the best odds of the relationship lasting.

Not to mention that both my sense of benevolence and my desire to be pleasingly thought of are quite a bit stronger when it comes to a friend or a girlfriend than when it comes to an acquaintance or a stranger.

It’s also worth noting that people who believe in Ask Culture can nevertheless fall prey to a sense of obligation and/or a sense of guilt at the prospect of giving a refusal, thus not entirely practicing Ask Culture in this matter. There are various possible reasons for this. They may believe in Ask Culture but still have conditioned emotional responses from growing up Guess. They may have scrupulosity, and feel guilty whenever they know they could do something to make others happy, and don’t do it. They may make dubious utilitarian analyses that convince them that the expected pleasure that the asker will get out of a yes is greater than the expected cost to themselves. (The last two have a very nasty synergy, of course.) And so forth.

So the most straightforward Ask Culture approach, “just ask to have sex[3] with any competent, free adult that you want to have sex with,” is not an ideal approach, at least in general. And the Guess Culture Dance of Mandatory Ambiguity is (still) worse.

The following third approach has worked out well for me thus far, but my sample size to date is quite small; your mileage may vary. Anyone who wishes to submit additional data from their own experiments is certainly welcome to do so. ;)

TL;DR: Tell the other person what you would like to do, and what (else) they should feel free to ask you to do. Then, offer them the opportunity to ask you to do any of those things, if they are so inclined.

Some additional best practices:

Whenever possible, preclude their making that request as an immediate, direct conversational reply to your offer, to minimize the risk of their feeling that it would be rude not to make the request, due to their having internalized Guess Culture memes (delendi sunt!) that say that you wouldn’t have made the offer if you didn’t expect them to take you up on it.

For similar reasons, and also to avoid poor decision-making when rushed, make the time frame for making requests as open-ended as possible.

Example of my actual use of this approach (very roughly a direct quote; it’s been a while, and I didn’t exactly make a recording for future transcription):

I like you a lot and enjoy spending time with you, just as a friend. I think you’re smart, and funny, and a good person. I also think you’re beautiful, and sexy, and I am definitely attracted to you, and would be interested in dating and/or having sex with you . . . but only if that’s something you want. So if you want to continue to just be friends, that’s fine, and I’ll treat that as the default in the absence of further communication; you don’t have to say or do anything. But if you want to go on unambiguously romantic dates, or engage in various sex acts, or make out a bunch but not have sex, or pretty much anything else of that general nature, feel free to let me know any time after, say . . . five minutes from now. Odds are pretty good that I’ll be down for whatever you have in mind, but even if I’m not, I won’t be offended that you asked, or otherwise respond negatively. Nor will I feel pressured or obligated to do it just because you asked, so that’s not something you need to worry about.

A rather more traditional (and much shorter) line, for a rather different context, that still follows both of the above best practices:

Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re the most attractive woman in this bar. I’m sitting in that booth in the corner over there, if you feel like continuing this conversation; otherwise, have an excellent evening. [tips hat, departs for booth]

This broad approach also extends naturally to asking for information, or to offering it.

[1] Subject, in most cases, to not having had the latter demand that they not speak to them.

[2] Cultura Conicientis? I don’t actually know Latin, but this seems like it should be right, based on some poking through wiktionary. @funereal-disease​?

[3] Or date.

[4] Or play board games with, for that matter. Discussions of these issues tend to focus primarily on sex, and secondarily on dating. But those are hardly the only areas in which they’re relevant.

[5] Or men, for that matter, although I’m gynosexual enough that the odds of my propositioning a man and him feeling obligated to say yes would be pretty low under any conversational protocol. And that’s even before we consider that oppressive Guess Culture seems to correlate (albeit imperfectly) with anti-liberty views on sexuality that don’t exactly encourage men to be polite when propositioned for sex by other men.