#i am a single legal adult no one else represents me

[nicknelsonmyson]

Okay, I'm letting one of the wolves win.

So, there's some things I'd like to contribute to this conversation.

First, I'm less interested in the question of sex in Heartstopper specifically than the general attitudes we are circulating around the topic of 'teens having sex in media' more broadly.

Please don't take this as me arguing Nick and Charlie should have had sex already in the show - that isn't my position (for a wide variety of reasons that are ancillary to the larger points I want to make).

One thing I'm concerned about in this conversation is the questionable way the term 'children' is getting bandied about here. Yes, these characters are legal MINORS. And yes they are young, and therefore the issue of them having sex (and the representation of it) is more ethically loaded. Undeniably.

But when we use the term "child" it summons up an image of a pre-pubescent primary school kid, which is also a bit disingenuous. These are post-pubescent teens, and therefore SOME level of sexual activity between SOME of them is perfectly developmentally appropriate, even if they are still legal minors. (Also, just to be clear, I'm not saying having sex or engaging in sexual activity is NECESSARY for people to develop normally. But it is a common experience for people of this age group and puberty is a key dividing line that makes the start of sexual activity to be expected for at least SOME people in this particular age set)

I really have a problem with the way the word "child" feels like it is working to infantilize people of this age group, treating them as if they are synonymous with 8 year olds. They aren't, particularly not where the issue of sex is concerned. Which doesn't make them equivalent to adults. It's a nuanced middle ground, and I'd really appreciate if we could talk about it that way, instead of shutting down the issue completely by calling them "children" in a way that implies you are a pedophile pervert if you think teen sex is something society should acknowledge is real and legitimate and perfectly on the level in certain contexts.

Which brings me to my next point which is, I think we need to have more self-awareness that being an adult who is uncomfortable watching teens have sex maybe isn't an indication that such narrative content therefore shouldn't exist. The fact that certain content makes you uncomfortable isn't ITSELF an indication that anything is wrong with the content.

Many adults are uncomfortable with the idea of teens having sex and thinking about it happening. But MAYBE teen sexuality in media shouldn't necessarily cater to what is comfortable for adults because it isn't fundamentally about us. That is adults prioritizing themselves with regard to this issue, and the whole point is this is about teenagers learning to engage (or not) in romance and sexual behavior on their own terms and on their own timelines, which may or may not coincide with what adults want (including the adults watching).

There's a very paternalistic mentality to the argument that teens in media should only engage in a level of sexual activity that the adults watching are comfortable with. We aren't their parents. Nick and Charlie aren't my children. If the idea of watching them engage in some level of sexual activity makes you uncomfortable as an adult, that's valid, but maybe then the answer is to turn off the TV or watch something else. Adult comfort shouldn't be the single barometer of how teen sex is approached in media. That's adults prioritizing THEMSELVES with regard to representation of teen experiences, and I think maybe we need to be a little less self-centric on that front.

Now, this brings us to the more complicated issue of HOW teen sex is depicted in media. Obviously there are a huge range of ways sex and sexual activity can be depicted or referenced in media, and I am on board with the idea that we shouldn't represent these experiences in ways that are strongly voyeuristic. We shouldn't be turning teen characters into vehicles for soft-core porn. But again, it is possible to find a middle ground where these things aren't made into objectifying spectacles, but they still honor the nature of those experiences in an honest way. Which is complicated, but doable.

And I think we have an obligation to try to do that. While I don't necessarily think we should view media solely or even primarily as 'educational,' the reality is, people DO get models for how to behave from media. And this is PARTICULARLY true with regard to sex and sexual activity because we can't model our sexual behavior off what we observe in real life (the way we learn MOST other things in life). Because sex is not something we typically have the opportunity to observe people doing IRL, media is where we get a disproportionate amount of our models for how sex and sexual behavior happens and gets negotiated. Teens benefit from having grounded, realistic portrayals of that process (i.e., NOT porn, most of which is very unrealistic about sex in a number of ways).

Again, I don't think media and narratives should only approach this from an educational standpoint. But I think its worth being cognizant of just how much young people rely on media portrayals to navigate these experiences, especially when they are just becoming sexually active. Which doesn't mean I think Heartstopper should 'speed up' the process for Nick and Charlie. Again, I don't want media to just be an instruction manual.

My point is, the choice to depict teen sexual behavior has validity and genuine societal value, when we do it in a way that is sensitive and thoughtful and not made into a crass spectacle. And particularly given how central romance and navigating romantic relationships is to the show, that choice seems well within its broad purview.

honestly i think it’s so gross how many adults i have seen on this app upset that heartstopper is a show rather mild in its sexual content. it’s a show that’s target audience is young queer people….about young queer people……played by young queer people. the show is not “anti-sex” at all, if you actually watched the show charlie and nick discuss that they WANT to do more, that they want to “go further” some day. charlie has a boat load of trauma (including trauma about having his physical boundaries ignored) however and nick is still processing his sexuality, so why are you pushing for them to be intimate?? i’ve known people who have dated for years and didn’t actually have sex until they were adults and mature enough to do so.

viewing this show as a adult woman i find it honestly disturbing that there is this fixation on the necessity of sexual content including children. because that is who these characters are. children.

the show does not bash sex (uhh the teachers very clearly banged??), it merely advises against forcing yourself to be sexual before you are ready. the queer community has always been demonized as a “hypersexual” group of people, but that is merely a label forced upon us. heartstopper is the one of the only queer pieces of media that defies this expectation, and tells queer kids everywhere that it’s ok to take your time, and that sex is not the end all be all.

[gnostaire]

Do you have a facebook ?

here’s a test

can you see me? i can��t see u

[mxxnspells]

Pick a Teacup — What do you need to know right now?

Hello! Today I am bringing you my first pick a card on this blog! I have decided to do it around “What do you need to know right now?���. I will intuitively pick up messages from the images and use tarot as well.

How to make your pick: Firstly, take a deep breath. Close your eyes and become aware of your body and ground yourself in the question “What do I need to know right now?”. When you are ready, open your eyes and look at the different images. Select the one that sparks a memory in you. If you are drawn to more than one pile, then start from the one who’s connection feels stronger.

Disclaimer: As always, these readings are for fun. Take what resonates, leave the rest. I am not qualified to give any legal, medical advice. Any major decisions should be consulted by a professional. This reading should not replace any of that. 

Feel free to let me know if this resonates with you or not! I’d love to hear your thoughts about this so that I can improve and give you more quality pick a cards in the future! Any suggestions you may have, feel free to leave them in my inbox!

Teacup 1 

For some reason, I am seeing a wedding. I can hear bells chiming (I hope that’s the word), people smiling, it’s a wonderful time. Everything happens outside, in what appears to be a small farm. The feeling I get is content. Finally, everything is where it’s supposed to be. You should not take this interpretation literally, if it doesn’t apply. However, I get a sense of happy ending, everything is where it’s supposed to be. It’s the culmination of something that has been in the works for a long time, finally coming to fruition. I sense comfort, happiness, bliss but also worry about what’s ahead.

You are probably about to make a major choice that will influence the rest of your life somehow. You have been thinking about this, planning and you are ready to commit. You may not know what tomorrow holds but you are willing to dedicate yourself to this for a lifetime. You feel good about your decision, there’s a certain excitement within you.

Tarot: VII (Seven) of Wands, II (Two) of Swords, Ace of Pentacles

I feel like in some ways, the tarot cards mirror the ideas I already had picked up from the image. This is something that you have been doing for a long time, you have reached a point where you are slightly satisfied but there is something blocking your next step, a step you are eager to make. What I picked up from the image is reflected in your last card, the ace of pentacles. This choice is a new beginning, one that you have been tendering for quite some time. Whatever will come after this will be strong, meaningful and grounded.

———☽☆☾———

Teacup 2

I am tired. I feel like you are either studying a lot for something or you have been giving your all to something that has made you exhausted. I see this image of someone at a library, furiously taking notes and reading books to prepare for an exam or a test. Some of you might wear glasses and may have bangs. Some of you might be brunettes. I felt like this information will be relevant to some of you, not all. I have a feeling this is going to be something unexpected. You had everything planned out, I am getting major Virgo energy from you, and this is going to hit you in ways you weren’t expecting. You are going to spend more hours than expected dedicating yourself to this. My heartbeat changed just now. You are not going to be alone in this. Someone is going to join you, either to help you, guide you, or motivate you. They have an enchanting smile, that will be something you’ll notice about them.

Tarot: Knight of Wands, The Devil (reversed), III (Three) of Cups

This is beautiful. I feel like this reading is about this person you’re about to meet. They will come out of nowhere but their influence on you will be undeniable. They will help you see your true potential. They know you are capable of great things and they will help you get rid of this pre-conceived notions you have about things. I feel like they will help you relax, understand where your true worth is coming from, it goes beyond what you do, it’s connected with who you are. Whatever the two of you will have, will build into an incredible friendship.

———☽☆☾———

Teacup 3 

Overdrive by Conan Gray started playing in my mind. The colours of this image speak a lot to me. Sunset, summer, freckles. You might have freckles. For some reason, I also picture someone wearing a blue checkered dress with a straw hat. Very specific, I know. Take what you will with that. Summer. Whatever this is will either happen during Summer or has happened last summer. I have a sensation that this is about a memory, because the flashes I have in my mind seem like they belong to the past, not so much the future.

Right now you’re calm, contempt. It’s not like you are preparing, I feel like you are resting, allowing the rest of your life to unfold. It’s not like you have become passive to your life, opposite of that. You have finally realised you can’t control everything so you are focusing on what you can and making the most out of it. I hear people laughing. You either have a group of friends that you enjoy doing shenanigans with or you’ll meet people who will understand you and with whom you’ll connect deeply.

Tarot: X (Ten) of Swords, V (Five) of Swords (reversed), VI (Six) of Cups

The cards just confirmed what I was saying but gave me some more context to the memories. Something extremely painful happened to you in your past and you felt betrayed. You did everything, I feel like some of you might be people pleaser’s where you change yourself to fit the idea you want people to have of you. And you’ve done that, a lot. However, you got tired. It wasn’t worth it. You decided to move on. Even though you resent these memories, there is a part of you that lingers for this time. But now you know better. You are finally starting to know your worth, and you are allowing yourself to blossom slowly but firmly into the person you want to be. My darling, you are closer than you think. Maybe summer is indeed your time. 

———☽☆☾———

Teacup 4 

Life feels pretty stagnant for you, doesn’t it? I feel like you have the exact same routine every day and every day you get tired of it but you don’t allow yourself to change. I feel like family may have a saying in this. I am feeling a strong influence for your mother who either monitors everything you do (even if you are already an adult) or she is highly critical of your choices. Still, within this routine, there is something that brings you immense joy. I picture someone sitting in front of a TV, in the afternoon, with a cup of tea (or coffee) in their hand, watching a TV series. It may be a comedy because this person is laughing. There’s something about this TV series that resonates deeply with you. I think it’s a character who’s life story reminds you of your own. They might inspire you to take a stand for yourself and take ownership of your life. Also, this pile feels like the happy single. Someone who lives on their own but enjoys that. Maybe the pressure you feel from your family comes exactly from this. Maybe they want you to find someone but you just want to be by yourself for a while. I have the feeling you haven’t lived everything you want to live yet.

Tarot: V (Five) of Pentacles, IX (Nine) of Cups, The Empress

I feel like this mirrors the message I just got from the image as well. You have stepped out of something that wasn’t fulfilling to you. I feel like you are someone who recently moved out on their own because this energy is from the past. Now, you feel much more comfortable, happy, although you know that is still space for something else. I get that. The Empress can represent your mother but in this reading I don’t get that feeling. I get that this is what you are walking towards. You are about to step into your power with kindness.

[miximax-hell]

There have been people, some truly wonderful souls, who have followed my blog during my long period of absence. For that, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I don’t deserve that kindness. With that out of the way, hello! Once again, it’s been so long... And that’s exactly we won’t delve in the past now. Let’s get right to it!

Today’s miximax is one that can barely be recognised at all unless you’re specifically told who the vessel and aura are. So, just in case my handwriting is THAT awful, we’ll be talking about Sakuma’s miximax today! For him, I’ve chosen a wonderful character that is, quite literally, part of the history of videogames as a whole. After the news about a new Smash coming soon, the promise of Metroid Prime 4 for Switch, and the very successful (AND SPANISH) remake of Metroid II, it feels like a great time to bring Samus Aran into the battle! The coolest intergalactic bounty hunter there ever was makes for a very simple-looking miximax, but it was still quite tough to draw because of RUST. Ah well. No one to blame but myself.

Anyway, I think this deserves a proper explanation, so let’s see why these two make for a fantastic combo! For more on that, please check under the cut. As usual.

Well, you’ve made it this far, so let’s delve a little in the past now. ww Just yesterday, I finally finished writing my graduation thesis!! That means I’m finally free... for a little while. Just enough to enjoy half a month of debauchery AND SPEND TIME WITH MY GIRLFRIEND, WHOM I MISS VERY MUCH. Oh, and my internship ended about two and a half weeks ago, too. While I am free in that sense as well, I can’t say I’m a scriptwriter and game designer right now, which kinda sucks. But they might still hire me...! And I’m ruminating some exciting ideas of my own. I highly doubt the company I worked for will be interested in them, but, well, it’s worth a shot. And good practice, in any case. So, yeah! I hope you’ve all been well!

Anyway, let’s get right to it. A single paragraph of my life struggles was enough. ww

This is still a fairly small blog with less than 100 followers. And it will always be because of how niche it is. ww Not only that, but most of said (active) followers aren’t even friends of mine, but the aforementioned kind souls who, somehow, grace me with their presence here. That means that, for example, if I were to go on Twitter to talk about my projects for this blog (as I’ve done a couple of times in the past), only one or two of my friends would give a crap about it. And that’s assuming they see those specific tweets at all! Otherwise, the reactions I get are non-existent unless I’m specifically mentioning someone. And even that is far from being failproof. So, whenever I want to share my ideas with someone, develop them through conversation or brainstorm, there’s only one person I can rely on: my lovely girlfriend. She’s patient and super supportive of my work. Bless her soul. I’m so in love with her.

Anyway, thanks to how much I’ve ranted to her about SakuSamus, I’ve already typed down most of what needs to be said about why I think these two work so well together. I can also get away with mostly copying and pasting what I already told her over Skype and simply adjusting it a bit to make it more readable as a blog post and adding some extra details. ww So, let’s get to it!

Coming up with proper combinations for this blog can sometimes be a chore and require a lot of overthinking. However, as the wonderful @miyukiko​ would say, great ideas suddenly come to you sometimes. This had a bit of both. I'll try to skip the uninteresting bits of the creative process, but this is the important part.

Now that we've seen Sakuma in Ares and he's obviously won a lot of... prominence, if you may put it that way, it felt like a good time to take a closer look at him. Sakuma is a forward, and a pretty talented one, at that. When he becomes captain in the Ares timeline, though, his team comes to rely on him on a much deeper level too. Or so it seems, at least. To top it off, his descriptions in the original games say that he helps Kidou and acts as a strategist that coordinates the team. That’s pretty much the base we can build upon.

As a forward, he seems pretty thorough and tries to stay cool and calm, since that's the kind of soccer they play at Teikoku. And, from what we've seen in Ares, as a captain, he worries so much about his team's well-being and about being a good leader for them. You know, the usual "Am I fit to be captain?" thing that IE loves so much. ww

But there's a lot of bad stuff about Sakuma, too.

For one, despite his cool act, when he loses it, he loses it good. We all know how he reacted when he was part of Shin Teikoku and how extremely mad he would get with Kageyama, for example. Also, when he does lose it (and, arguably, even when he’s still somewhat sane), he's very self-destructive.

I think that's somehow linked to his fears: he simply doesn't want to be left alone. He panics when Kidou leaves Teikoku and, again, loses it completely. When his insanity reaches that kind of point, nothing else seems to matter, so he goes all out even if it can cost him his life. Or his legs, at least.

Related to that, and this is much more relevant in terms of sheer gameplay, he is extremely dependent of others.

He's supposed to be some super cool ace striker, but absolutely all of his shots are combo hissatsus no matter what timeline or age you’re looking at. Koutei Penguin 2gou and 3gou, Twin Boost, Death Zone, Deep Jungle... They all need 2-3 people, and, usually, Kidou's involved.

So, tough as it is to say, if Sakuma isn't by Kidou's side, he's subpar. And if he's all alone, he's basically worthless. And to add insult to injury:

He usually depends on people who aren't even forwards to score goals.

He is turned into a defender as an adult because, as I said, he's subpar as a forward if he's alone.

That makes Sakuma a very interesting case: in a universe that is all about the power you get from of your teammates, what he lacks is individuality. ...Especially when you consider that his only motivation to play soccer seems to be to play with Kidou. www

As he is, he's the absolute definition of support character. Pretty sad, if you ask me. (Oh. And many of his in-game hissatsus are very dirty and the referee complains more often than not about them. That counts too. ww)

So, here comes the difficult question: who can give Sakuma the strength, the individuality and, partially, the safety that he needs to be relevant without killing himself? After thinking about it for quite a long time, I felt like he could really use the power of Samus Aran.

(Not to go all BuzzFeed on you guys, but the answer would’ve surprised you if I hadn’t said it from the very beginning. ww)

On a technical level, Samus is strong af. Not only has she survived to and successfully finished every mission she's embarked on (as far as I’m aware), but she's pretty much exterminated full races, DESTROYED PLANETS and killed the same evil pterodactyl alien... thing that wants her dead like 11 times by now.

And what's more: she's done all of this completely alone. (Except maybe for Other M. I haven’t played that game yet, but it looked like there were more people, idk) All in all, she's a beast. But that's not all, of course. There are many heroes who go and do their thing alone. It could've easily been Lara Croft too, for example--at least in the original games.

Sakuma, as I said, seems to be driven by a will to be with Kidou and is very much dependent of other people. And when things go wrong and he loses it, he is... spiteful, to say the least. And I don’t know if you guys were aware of this, but Samus is 120% salt. I read a post about the hatred between Ridley and Samus that when Ridley was announced for Smash and all, but I sadly can’t find it right now. If any of you guys know that post, please let me know and I’ll add the link here because it was SO GOOD.

According to my limited knowledge on the Metroid Series, Samus fights three main things: metroids (you never saw that one coming, I'm sure), space pirates, and Ridley (who is the leader of the space pirates, but is not a space pirate because I, too, would listen to my Evil Pterodactyl Lord if he were to give me orders).

Long story short, the space pirates and Ridley killed Samus’s parents. She was adopted by people from a civilization called the Chozo, but the space pirates killed the Chozo too. And when Samus found a baby metroid that saw her as its mother, the space pirates and Ridley kidnapped the metroid and it eventually died because of them.

Samus doesn't fight for the greater good. Samus fights because she's fucking pissed.

But, unlike Sakuma, she uses that rage against the right people and in the right way: she is still salty as hell, but she stays cool, kicks ass, makes everyone go boom, and she's out. She does what Sakuma does, but better. Even when she's pissed. Oh, and she does things the way they should be done: with legal permission, without turning evil and stuff. And she's super respected and feared because of it, which is precisely what a captain and a forward should be like, respectively.

And the icing on the cake?

In IE3, when Sakuma has levelled up enough, he learns how to use Space Penguin. also, Samus has a visor thing that can replace Sakuma's patch and that sounded cool to me

Anyway, that would be the gist of it! As I said earlier, I’m not the biggest Metroid connoisseur in the world: I’ve only beaten Fusion and Zero Mission, and I’m currently playing Prime and Return of Samus. As such, excuse me if some other game I haven’t played debunks all I’ve said, but I haven’t found any traces of such a thing. ww

However, despite my few experiences with Metroid games, Samus is a character I love and have very fond memories of. This series represent what I love the most about the video game genre: that sense of continuous and hard-earned improvement that only comes from experiences that are constantly giving you new abilities (and even new looks) to reflect your progress. It’s similar to RPGs, a genre I love as well, but RPGs reward you more for personal progress and dedication, such as grinding for levels, and not (usually) so much for just pushing forward and defeating bosses.

Last (and least), for those who have made it this far, here’s a little something you might be interested in knowing: I’ve been inactive here, but I’m still constantly trying hard to come up with interesting ideas for miximaxes! And I think I have found some cool stuff for both Kidou and Shishido, so feel free to tell me on which of those you’d like me to work on next. They’re both very challenging to draw and fiddle with, but I’m always happy to shift my priorities in any way you guys want me to. ww

[withinthescripts]

Season 2, Cassette 4: Bardo Museum (1975)

[tape recorder turns on]

Welcome to the international Bardo Museum of Tunis. I am Ama Cudjoe, director of curations. We are proud to present this audio cassette guide of “Unfinished Nightmares”, the new sketches of Claudia Atieno. These drawings were discovered two years ago in a previously unknown crawl space below Atieno’s Cornwall home. This audio guide will be narrated by historian and expert in Atieno’s oeuvre, Roimata Mangakāhia. While Atieno’s whereabouts remain a mystery, these sketches give eery insight into her last creative thoughts before her disappearance. This special exhibit is located on level 2. Works with audio guidance are numbered and begin on your left, moving counter-clockwise around the room. Each narration will be followed by a tone, so that you may pause the cassette between pieces. Please return the cassette player, headphones, and shoulder strap to the member services desk on the ground floor.

[bell chimes]

Sketch One. “Untitled Figure with Hat”.

This drawing is of the society’s secretary of trade, Vishwati Ramados, wearing a wide-brimmed fedora. You can see a wry smile on Ramados’s face, like in reference to the brown western hat juxtaposed against her soft blue sari. The staff at the Bardo disagreed with my identification of Ramados. Rather, they do not believe the figure is meant to be anyone in particular, but I know her face well. Ramados was a frequent visitor to Atieno’s Cornwall home, as well as her Mwanza apartment. I knew Ramados, and while I was not close to her, I know she greatly respected Atieno’s artistic talents.

Ramados also greatly resented Atieno’s constant critique of the societal council, her frequent jibes about Ramados’s capitulation to bureaucratic strictures. Ramados, like most of Atieno’s invited guests, was an avid art collector and ardent fan of Atieno’s work.

Ramados had a technically perfect smile. One that is vibrant and beautiful, regardless of her intentions. Look at her smile in this sketch. What are Ramados’s intentions? What are your intentions?

One of Atieno’s most notorious paintings, “(-- [0:03:26] Madurai”, currently part of Manhattan Museum of Modern Art’s permanent collection, featured a verdant ravine covered in ferns. In the center of the gully, a single camera held by two seemingly disembodied hands literally suggesting a nature photographer, but figuratively critical of the council’s surveillance scandal of 1958 where staff members, under the oversight of the trade commission, kept secret and extensive records of international merchants, including artists such as Atiano.

Placing the subject of the painting in Ramados’s birthplace of Madurai was a particularly harsh jab at a powerful and, it has been rumored, vindictive woman. The surveillance records were unearthed by four journalists from Vancouver, but they could not prove Ramados directly authorized the surveillance of these merchants. Ramados was publicly (-) [0:04:20] for this direct violation of the Citizen Espionage Act of 1951, but never faced a tribunal for these crimes. In “Untitled Figure with Hat”, Atieno did not detail much of Ramados’s surroundings, just her face, smile, hat, and shaded eyes. But notice the pencil stroke in the upper left, suggesting the flat horizon of the ocean.

I believe this was drawn on the patio of Atieno’s Cornwall home overlooking the sea. Ramados’s contagious charms are made vivid in this drawing, and were likely her salvation in the congressional hearings on her scandal. Ramados was friendly with Atieno for the most part, and they had lively conversations about everything except politics. But in the time I spent with Ramados in Cornwall, I sensed she was always planning every word, every gesture. She was carefully choreographed, her intentions were complex and hidden.

[bell chimes]

Sketch two. “Untitled Automobile with Driver”.

Scholars at the Royal Cornwall Museum noted that it was a 1950 Rolls Royce Silver Wraith, a vehicle which was owned by late president of the Bank of Western Europe, Archie McPherson. In the sketch, however, the man standing next to the vehicle is not Archie, who was a large man, broad-shouldered and tall, with a round belly and young face. The man in the sketch is small, barely taller than the vehicle itself. He is wearing thick-rimmed eyeglasses and wearing an unbuttoned shirt.

Look carefully inside his jacket. There appears to be a pistol on a shoulder holster. Although this is a small debate among critics. Notice the shape? The handle of the supposed gun is longer than seems ordinary for a pistol. How long is a pistol?

This man also does not bear any of the uniform elements common to the International Police, who are the only people legally allowed to carry firearms. So either it is not a pistol, perhaps an unfinished umbrella or poorly drawn driver’s gloves, or this unknown man is a guard/driver for a wealthy non-political individual such as McPherson.

Look in the windows of the car. Do you see the outline of a heavyset banker? What does wealth look like?

Hiring armed private guards would also be a criminal offense, but one which money or influence could help alleviate. McPherson owned a large collection of private works by Atieno, Pavel Zubof and Cassandra Reza. He underwrote an exhibit of Atieno’s work at the Tate Modern in 1971. He was one of Claudia’s supporters in her critique of the new society. McPherson believed Ramados and other high-ranking members of the society were covertly constructing an institute in the former United States to imprison violators, the Family Dissolution Act of 1955. He claimed the institute kidnapped and tortured adults who sought to reconnect with their birth families. 

Archie and Claudia did not just enjoy sharing conspiracy theories, they actively believed them.

McPherson was found dead outside his home last year. The official statement claimed he died of a heart attack, and this is not an appropriate forum for speculating about the honesty of official statements.

Look again in the windows of the car in the sketch. Who else was in the vehicle? Do you see yourself inside the car?

[bell chimes]

Sketch three. “Untitled Waves”.

Atieno had drawn a cross-section of waves crashing upon a rocky shore. Look closely along the top of the water. She has masterfully depicted the turbulent force of sand and seaweed caught in an undertow, using only a pencil. She has colored darkly the sky, ostensibly just bad weather, but also symbolizing the nightmare of being dragged out alone into the ocean.

The markings are boldest near the rocks. Look at the rocks and follow the lines out into the sea. See how the pressure of the pencil lightens significantly? The charcoal sky dissipates, not into light but into nothingness. Fear of the void. Of loneliness.

The cliffs of the Cornwall home were always my favorite scene to sketch. Sitting on Claudia’s patio deck overlooking the cliffs, I would often practice shading gradients. Claudia asked me once why I drew this scene so often. I explained to her it was a relaxing way to pass the time, particularly when I needed to keep busy but lacked motivation to create new work. It wasn’t long after that before her sketch pad was filled with drawings of the same scene. You can see here in “Untitled Waves” that even with pencils, Atieno was masterful. I hated her for that. I hated that about her.

Look again at her gradients. Don’t they make you mad? Think about everything you are incapable of achieving.

[bell chimes] [tape recorder turns off] [ads] [tape recorder turns on]

Sketch four. “Untitled Dinner Party”.

Dinner parties were common at the Cornwall house, with visiting artists and dignitaries. I say “dinner parties”, but due in part to the remoteness of the house and in part to the untamed nature of parties, they ran through the night and into the next day, when people could more safely make their way back to land. On occasion, the parties bled through to the next day and further. Atieno was well known for her social events, and many of these were wild engagements with drinks, music, dancing and gregarious unpredictable personalities who sang, or told stories. Or in the case of several dancer friends, stripped naked and performed improvised dance routines on tables.

In this drawing, though, the party seems subdued. Look at how the well dressed figures gingerly hold their glasses of wine, standing stiffly about cocktail tables, with little sign of the debauchery I associate with Atieno’s get-togethers. It is difficult here to discern specific identities, but it is likely that these are representatives from the Council. I believe Atieno was attempting to capture the Council’s trepidation about what they had interpreted as political art. I am not so sure of this interpretation, especially given the source. If you’re looking for dissidence, you’re likely to see it, whether or not it’s really there.

She welcomed friends and enemies alike, and in the case of World Council and Architects of the New Society, she would have happily invited any of her well-appointed detractors into her home, as long as they told good stories and didn’t ruin the fun. The Council were happy to attend the parties, as long as they could mentally know who was there, and what they said.

Atieno’s home country of Tanzania was dissipated during the creation of the society in 1939. The founders of the society removed national bonders in favor of the nine united regions. While this gave way to an eastern Africa independent of English imperialist rule, it stole away the agency of the smaller Tanzanian officials fighting for their own governance. The sub capital of Dodoma now reports to the regional seat in Nairobi. Europeans no longer govern the former Tanzania, but the open trade enabled astronomic growth in several reasons of Africa, and the European population grew there in two decades following the war. Atieno felt disconnected from her homeland and family in Mwanza, as well as with the dilution of the [Ipo] population by the English-speaking Europeans. Still, as a globe traveling artist, many of her childhood friends dissociated from Atiano, feeling she had abandoned her home. Perhaps she had. It would not be the only time she had abandoned her home.

In “Untitled Dinner Party”, we likely see a room full of politicians watching and recording Atieno subtly, as Atieno subtly watched and recorded them in return, in her own way. Look at the revellers in the sketch. Or is “revellers” an appropriate word to use? Which of these people do you think last saw Claudia?

[bell chimes]

Sketch five. “Untitled Artists at Work”.

This meta-sketch of a sketch is quite indicative of the occasions when guests would work together to develop new work. Someone would paint, as you see here in this sketch, a painting on an easel, three artists gathered around discussing the work. I used to believe that one of the figures was Claudia herself, as the painting on the easel, the art within the art, appears to be her, and appears to be her work, “Sunshine Afternoon”. But “Sunshine Afternoon” was painted in 1968. This sketch, while not dated, is likely from the early 1960’s if not late 1950’s. This painting is someone else’s entirely. It was not uncommon for artists to work together to share ideas and paint similar concepts, but an oft-had discussion with other artists in Atieno’s circle was: when does inspiration become theft? I have no proof that another artist originally created “Sunshine Afternoon”. In fact, Claudia might have created it first in this sketch, only to realize it fully in oils years later. But one of the artists in this work, so you see the woman with the long dark hair, I’m certain is Vanessa Wynn. The more I think about her signature rays of light, I think that “Sunshine Afternoon” was certainly her original idea, or at least I had my suspicions.

Look at the sketch in the sketch. Do you recognize that as an early study of “Sunsine Afternoon”? Does this serve as proof, of anything? Are all affirmatives true, until they are successfully debunked?

[bell chimes]

Sketch six. “Untitled Rope and Parrot”.

This, of all the newly discovered sketches, disturbs me the most.

As a sketch, it is simple and beautiful. It is the least suggestive of sinister guests. As you can see it is just a square knot lying atop a wooden table. Next to the tope is a bird. The curators at the Bardo have called this bird a parrot, but it is specifically a kea. Note its long narrow beak. I argued with the curatorial staff about this, and they noted it was more likely an African grey parrot, a bird Atieno would have seen in her parents, as opposed to a kea, native in New Zealand, a place she had never been.

I know this bird to be a kea, even if Atieno had never seen one in person. First, the bird is missing the patterns of the grey parrot, but there is a more significant reason for my certainty. Second, I had an identical painting: a kea on a table, next to a knotted rope. It was one of my earlier attempts to capture wildlife stills. I was fortunate enough to have a friend who worked in nature conservation in the south Ireland, specifically maintaining the help of native birds. She’d taken in an injured kea. She had nursed it back to health. But it could no longer fly. I remember clearly the bird had a small plaster rap, almost like a cast, at the base of one of its wings. My friend allowed me to paint the immobilized bird, and it was a good subject, as it held perfectly still.

Notice in Atieno’s sketch the shoulder area on the bird’s left side. Do you see where the pencils are absent in a horizontal swathe? Is that an unfinished section, or merely Atieno playing with light and shadow, or is it a plaster band?

I brought the painting with me to London early in my career, hoping to get a showing in a gallery. At the time, I thought it captured a unique perspective and approach to still lifes. But over time, I began to feel the painting was not satisfactorily executed, so I left it with other early studies and incomplete paintings in a trunk in my closet.

Atieno rarely came to see me in my small flat in Plymouth, because it was so far from her home. For all of her love of world travels, she detested long commutes to others’ homes. Plus, as I said it was a small flat. But a few weeks after her last visit to my flat in 1970, I noticed that my trunk was open and a handful of my papers and drawings were missing. Since I did not check the trunk regularly, I thought it had perhaps broken open in transit and I’d just never noticed. But upon seeing these sketches, this year, I recognize the sketch of the bird and the rope, and I suspect Atieno had found my old painting. She not only stole the picture, but bettered it. Even without the richness of color and the depth of oil on canvas, Atieno captures shadows and light so well, even the kea, without the motion blur of a realistic photograph, Atieno.. [chuckles] using only a pencil, shows the bird’s lack of attention spam, its nervous energy sitting next to a human. Even the chips and dents along the table’s edge, where the bird had bit away the wood. I don’t recall ever including that detail in my original painting.

What is most maddening about Atieno is her talent. Even in plagiarism, she makes it perfectly her own.

[bell chimes]

So this concludes your audio tour of “Unfinished Nightmares – the New Sketches of Claudia Atieno”. Before you turn in your cassette player at the members desk, I’d like to say a word about Claudia’s absence. She may never return to us, but I believe she’s not dead. Just as she left her home in Mwanza, she left her home in Cornwall. Perhaps she will continue to make art and we will find her once again.

Her former partner Pavel Zubov told the staff at Bardo Museum that he found the sketches for this exhibit in a crawl space in Claudia’s home. I’m not certain what he was doing in her home recently, but I’m weary of the idea that the simply found these in one place no one had ever looked. I admit to looking thoroughly through her home when she wasn’t there. I never saw these. I’m hoping his claims are false, and that Claudia gave them to him to put in the Bardo. It’s possible she simply doesn’t want it known that she’s still somewhere in the world making art.

I expect more exhibits of newly discovered works by Claudia Atieno. [softly] I hope, anyway.

[tape recorder turns off]

“Within the Wires” is written by Jeffrey Cranor and Janina Matthewson and performed by Rima Te Wiata.

With original music by Mary Epworth. Find more of Mary’s music at maryepworth.com.

[dal-lato-oscuro]

Replaying to @vampire-profiler​ 

def did that before but whatever

I am: [ ] male [x] female

I am __ years old: [ ] Under 13 [ ] 13 [ ] 14 [ ] 15 [ ] 16 [ ] 17 [ ] 18 [x ] 19 [ ] 20 [ ] 21 [ ] 22 [ ] 23 [ ] Over 23

I am __ tall: [ ] Under 4’7 [ ] 4’7-5’ [ ] 5’1-5’3 [ ] 5’4-5’7 [ ] 5’8-6’ [x] 6’1-6’4 [ ] Over 6’4

My BMI is: [x] No idea [ ] Under 13 [ ] 13-14 [ ] 15-16 [ ] 17-18 [ ] 19-20 [ ] 21-22 [ ] 23-24 [ ] 25-26 [ ] 27-28 [ ] 29-30 [ ] 31-32 [ ] Over 32

My body shape is:

[x] not sure [ ] oval or apple [ ] pear or a-shaped [ ] strawberry or v-shaped [ ] ruler or rectangle [ ] square or H-shaped [ ] hourglass or 8-shaped

My hair color is currently: [ ] black [ ] platinum blond [ ] blond [ ] dirty blond to light brown [ ] brunette [ ] auburn [x] dark brown [ ] red [ ] ginger [ ] orange [ ] pink [ ] other

My eye color is: [ ] grey [ ] light blue [ ] deep blue [ ] black [] dark brown [x] brown [ ] golden [ ] hazel [ ] light green [ ] deep green [ ] other

I have been diagnosed with or i know i have/had: [x] depression [ ] social anxiety [ ] general anxiety [ ] panic disorder [ ] obsessive compulsive disorder [ ] bipolar disorder [x] post traumatic stress disorder [] anorexia/bulimia [ ] body dysmorphia [] insomnia

I would classify myself as or mostly as: [x] heterosexual [ ] bisexual [ ] homosexual

I smoke: [ ] more than a pack a day [ ] less than a pack a day [ ] less than one cigarette a day [ ] socially [x] never

I drink: [ ] enough to get wasted every day [ ] enough to get a buzz every day [ ] at parties to get wasted [ ] at parties to get buzzed [x] a beer or glass of wine with my dinner [ ] never

I have committed the following: [ ] shoplifting [ ] stealing from a friend [ ] stealing from family [ ] stealing from a stranger [x] underage drinking [ ] underage smoking [ ] illegal drug use [ ] selling drugs

I have stolen: [ ] make up [ ] underwear/lingerie [ ] clothing [ ] jewelery [ ] cds [ ] cigarettes [ ] alcohol [ ] drugs [ ] money [ ] an automobile [ ] a weapon

I have been: [ ] suspended from high school [ ] expelled from high school [ ] arrested [ ] to juvenile court [ ] put on probation [ ] ordered to pay a fine [ ] ordered to serve community service [ ] to juvenile detention [ ] on house arrest with a tether [ ] to jail [ ] to prison

The statement(s) that most applies to my family is: [x] I live with my (adoptive or biological) mother and father who are married to each other. [ ] I live with my mother and father who are NOT married to each other. [ ] I live with my mother who is single [ ] I live with my mother and stepfather [ ] I live with my father who is single [ ] I live with my father and stepmother [ ] I live with a grandparent or grandparents [ ] I live with an older sibling [ ] I live with a younger sibling [ ] I live with my children [ ] I live with my husband or wife [ ] I live with my boyfriend or girlfriend [ ] I live with a roommate or friend [ ] I live alone [ ] I have a different living situation

I have __ sister/s: [ ] 0 [x] 1 [ ] 2 [ ] 3 [ ] 4 [ ] 5 [ ] 6 [ ] Over 6

I have __ brother/s: [X] 0 [ ] 1 [ ] 2 [ ] 3 [ ] 4 [ ] 5 [ ] 6 [ ] Over 6

The statements that most apply to my parents are: [ ] I hate my family [ ] my family hates me [ ] my parents do not treat me my age [x] my parents do not trust me, and have no reason not to [ ] my parents do not trust me, with good reason [ ] I lie to my family often [ ] my parents do not deserve to be treated the way I treat them [x] I should probably show my parents that I appreciate them more [ ] my parents never show me that they appreciate me [x] I never say “I love you” to my parents [ ] my parents do not care what I do [ ] my parents give me and my friends alcohol [ ] my parents are very strict [ ] my parents have no idea what goes on in my life [x] my parents support my decisions [x] I am very close to my parents [x] my parents trust me and I honor that [ ] my parents trust me and I take that for granted [ ] I never see my parents

The statements that most apply to my family are: [ ] I am the favorite child [ ] one of my siblings is clearly the favorite child [ ] one of my siblings is out of control [ ] I am the “smart” sibling [ ] I am the athletic sibling [x] I am the artistic sibling [ ] I am a middle child [ ] I am an only child [ ] I am very close to my siblings [ ] I am very close to one of my siblings [ ] I have a twin [ ] I do not get along with any of my siblings [ ] I am the least liked child [ ] my siblings rat me out [ ] my sibling is my best friend [x] i am jealous of my sibling [x] my sibling is jealous of me [] I never see my siblings

I like to read: [ ] manga [ ] comic books [ ] magazines [ ] biographies [ ] memoirs [ ] classic literature [ ] plays [ ] scripts [x] romance novels [x] science fiction [x] fantasy novels [x] self help books [ ] textbooks [ ] newspapers [ ] political books [X] general fiction [ ] children’s books [x] horror novels [X] mystery novels [x] poetry [x] young adult fiction [ ] humor [ ] jokes [ ] nothing

I like to watch __ movies: [x] romance [x] comedy [x] romantic comedy [x] drama [x] historical [ ] western [x] horror [x] science fiction [x] fantasy [x] adventure [x] action [ ] war [x] crime [ ] kung-fu [x] thriller [x] psychological [x] zombie [x] mystery [x] documentary [ ] mockumentary [ ] spoof [x] musical [x] animated [x] silent [ ] art film [x] depressing [ ] pornographic [x] educational [ ] no

I like to play __ video games: [ ] roleplaying [ ] driving [ ] hunting [ ] sports [ ] skateboarding [x] dancing (such as DDR) [ ] instrument (such as Rock Band) [ ] fantasy [ ] shooter [ ] platform [ ] fighting [ ] strategy [ ] simulation [ ] action [ ] arcade [ ] tactical [ ] horror [ ] party (such as Mario Party) [ ] no

I like to study __ . [X] English [x] grammar [x] writing [] human biology [ ] animal biology [ ] earth science [ ] chemistry [ ] geology [x] astronomy [ ] archaeology [ ] anthropology [ ] algebra [ ] geometry [ ] calculus [ ] trigonometry [ ] US history [ ] European history [x] ancient history [ ] history [ ] economy [ ] government [ ] geography [x] psychology [x] sociology [ ] nothing

When I was in school I: [ ] was valedictorian [x] was one of the top 5 students [ ] was in national honor society [ ] got all As [ ] was an overachiever [ ] was usually on the honor roll [ ] slacked off a lot [ ] was on student council [ ] was student council president [ ] rarely did homework [ ] did really well on tests [ ] always did homework [x] did awful on tests [ ] paid attention in class [x] slept in class [ ] never paid attention [ ] dropped out

The statement I most agree with is: [ ] religion is stupid and people who belong to one are stupid [ ] religion is not something that I believe in [x] I am open to religion but have not claimed a certain religion as my own [ ] I am religious [ ] my religion is one of the most important things in my life [ ] my religion is the most important thing in my life and people who do not believe are stupid

The statement(s) I most agree with is: [x] I hate politics and affiliate with them as least as I can [ ] I am somewhat interested in politics [ ] I am very interested in politics and have very strong views [ ] I like to debate about political issues [x] I do not like to debate politics because it is useless and no one will change their views [ ] I am 100% democrat [ ] I am 100% republican [ ] I am independent, or prefer not to belong to a party [x] there are some things I agree with on both parties [ ] people who do not pay attention to politics are stupid and ignorant [ ] politicians are crooks and liars [ ] my vote does not matter, it is only up to the electoral college [x] my vote and your vote are very important

The statement I most agree with is: [x] homosexuality is perfectly normal and should be celebrated and gay marriage should already be legal [] homosexuality is not something that I am comfortable with, but their marriage does not affect me so gay marriage should be allowed [] homosexuality is a sin in my religion, but in a country that represents equality I think that gay marriage should be legal [ ] homosexuality is completely immoral and should not be encouraged, gay marriage should be illegal [ ] homosexuality is disgusting and it is a disgrace that gay marriage is even an issue

The statement that most represents my views is: [ ] abortion is murder and it should be illegal [x] abortion should not be a method of birth control, but in cases of rape or incest, it should be legal [x] I would never get an abortion, but I am in no place to choose what someone else should do with their body [ ] a woman should have a right to choose and she should not have to have a child if she is not ready for one [ ] abortion should be allowed in all cases no matter why the woman wants one

The statements that most represent my friendships are: [ ] I have never had a lasting friendship [ ] I have never had a best friend [ ] my best friend lives very far away from me [ ] I have known my best friend my whole life [ ] I have known my best friend for most of my life [ ] I have known my best friend for a few years [x] I have only known my best friend for a short time [ ] I have more than one best friend [ ] I have lost many many friends [ ] my friends seem to leave me out a lot [x] I think that my best friend and I will be friends forever [x] I have hated someone then they became my friend [ ] I now hate someone that used to be a close friend [ ] I like one of my friends more than they like me [ ] sometimes my friends ditch me for someone better [ ] sometimes I ditch my friends for someone better [ ] my friends fight a lot [x] my friends are very supportive [ ] I do not think I could survive without my friends [ ] I wish that I had different friends [ ] I barely have any friends [ ] my friends and I have nothing in common [x] my friends and I are so much alike [ ] my friends come to me for advice [ ] i am the level headed one of my friends [ ] i am the spontaneous one of my friends [ ] my friends are dumbasses [ ] my friends have no common sense [ ] my friends are bad influences [ ] i am a bad influence on my friends

The statements that most represent my relationship with my significant other are:

[x] I am single [ ] I am married [ ] I am engaged [ ] I am dating someone [ ] I have a different kind of relationship with someone special [ ] I put them first in my life [ ] they put me first [ ] we have a lot of things in common [ ] we are almost opposites [ ] i can talk to them about anything [ ] they get insecure [ ] they get jealous [ ] i get insecure [ ] i get jealous [ ] i hate their exes [ ] our families do not get along [ ] our families have never met [ ] our families get along [ ] we have had problems in the past but have overcome them [ ] we have some serious problems [ ] we have some little problems, but i am sure we will work them out [ ] we have a kid [ ] they have a kid from a previous relationship [ ] we have an open relationship [ ] we are really cute and loving [ ] we are not really into being cutesy [ ] they have cheated [ ] i have cheated [ ] it is hard for me to trust them [ ] we have a lot of little fights [ ] we have broken up [ ] we live together [ ] we do not have sex [ ] they have given me a promise ring [ ] we have not said “i love you” [ ] I do not think I could live without them [ ] I would survive if our relationship ended [ ] we are taking things slowly [ ] we are very sexual [ ] we have been together for over a year [ ] we have been together for over 5 years [ ] i think we are the perfect couple

[bangkokjacknews]

Thai cops having sex with hookers to 'prove' prostitution charges

Though no Thai government has ever conducted a formal survey, in 2014 UNAIDS estimated that some 123,530 sex workers operate in #Thailand, with sex industry contributing to 10 per cent of the revenue that the country generates from tourists.

Another study in 2003 estimated that Thailand’s sex industry generates an annual US$4.3 billion dollars. While sex work is evidently a pillar of the country’s economy and touches the lives of a great number of people, sex work remains outlawed in Thailand. This contradiction drives sex workers into precarity: they are excluded from government welfare and have no legal recourse if exploited by law enforcers or clients. In this investigative report, Prachatai spoke with sex workers, government officials and NGO representatives to find out how sex workers navigate their grey status under the law. How do they maintain dignity in a society that attributes little value to their work and lives? “Prostitutes just sell themselves” ‘Prostitutes sell only themselves, but wicked women sell the nation,’ a famous Thai Rat newspaper cartoonist once tweeted — as if the business of sex workers merely involves sleeping with clients and reaping the money. Such a prejudiced view overlooks the fact that sex workers who work the market best rely on well-practiced skills like any good businessmen, be that in negotiating, bargaining or advertising themselves well. All these factors are crucial in enticing customers to return. In this industry, standing out is crucial. For most sex workers, most clients come from low-income backgrounds such as taxi drivers, labourers, and young adults. One session may reap only 500-800 baht. Making a living then relies on being able to win multiple clients. Some sex workers operate in multiple locations to maximize client numbers, for example by wandering tourist spots when their usual base is quiet. Kam, a 24-year old independent sex worker, usually waits for clients at her usual spot in Bangkok from early evening until 3 AM. On a good day, she makes between 3000-4000 baht a night. But on a quiet evening where she has only one or two clients — or none at all — Kam turns to advertising her services online. Young and beautiful, Kam could likely find steady employment at a ‘massage’ parlour or even a high-class bar. But she explains that operating as an independent sex worker provides freedom. “It’s liberating. If on any given day I’m busy, or I’m on my period, or if I’m feeling lazy, I just won’t come. I don’t have to ask anyone for leaving. I don’t have to have my pay cut. Nobody else is directing my life. I keep every single baht that I make from clients. Nobody else gets a cut.” But with this freedom comes certain instabilities, least of all the risks of encountering authorities. https://bangkokjack.com/2018/11/04/truth-about-thai-prostitutes/ While images of police officers raiding brothels have repeatedly made headlines in Thai media, officials usually do not obstruct the industry. But at irregular intervals each year, public pressure on the police to show the fruits of their work escalates crackdowns on sex workers. Sex workers themselves have no way of knowing when these periods of heightened surveillance will come — that is, when they may inadvertently appear on front page news. Another inescapable risk in sex work comes in the form of undesirable clients. Sometimes a client may be intoxicated, refuse to use protection, or refuse to pay the fee. In dealing with these situations, workers sometimes risk physical danger. Without legal protections, the best sex workers can do is spread warnings of such individuals by word of mouth. In the face of the risks of working independently, many sex workers trade their freedom for the relative safety that comes with fixed employment in businesses such as ‘karaoke’ bars, ‘massage’ parlours or brothels. Though sex workers with fixed employment can be safe from undesirable clients as there is security staff in their workplace, the threat from state authorities still exists. Illegal trade and ‘legal’ operation So-called ‘karaoke bars’ commonly feature karaoke machines as décor, even though few or no customers visit such venues to sing, but rather to buy sex service. Why the farce? While prostitution is prohibited under Thai law, ‘karaoke bars’ and ‘massage parlours’ can be legally registered as normal businesses. When arrests of sex workers occur at such premises, authorities usually treat the act of prostitution as an exchange between the sex worker and the client — an exchange to which the owner of the premise was not a party. Even so, cases of clients being charged are few and far between, giving rise to the popular quip that, ‘employing sex workers is legal, being a sex worker is illegal, clients get off scot-free.’ Brothel operators are only accused of crimes when simultaneously breaking other laws, such as the employment of underage workers or illegal migrants. In June 2016, an undercover police investigation into a Huai Kwang district massage parlour, “Nataree’, resulted in the arrest of 119 employees, seven of whom were underage (of this seven, six were Burmese migrant workers). While the employees were accused of engaging in prostitution, the brothel owner was accused of crimes related to human trafficking. Undercover police investigations, where officers may pose as customers, have drawn criticisms for being hypocritical, if not themselves instances of illegal behaviour. Questionable behaviour has included the inviting of media to photograph sex workers during sting operations, and officials themselves persuading sex workers to engage in intercourse. Decha Kittwitthayanon, a lawyer and academic, has documented cases where officers have utilised the services of sex workers, before using the discharge and condoms filled with semen as evidence of illegal activity. “The Supreme Court reasoned that having intercourse with sex workers was a necessary and appropriate action for finding evidence of the activities of criminals. They pointed out that officials had no other choice but to use such measures.” Chantawipa Apisuk, the director of Empower Foundation, an organisation that has promoted the rights of sex workers in Thailand for more than 30 years, points out both the cruelty and lack of reasoning behind sting operations. “I don’t think sting operations should happen because things that were used to protect yourself from diseases become instead things that result in your arrest. They simply become wrongdoers.” “But officials say that if they don’t , they won’t be able to make arrests. But that makes me ask, why do they need to be arrested? Everybody has sex. I have sex. So why is having sex for work wrong?” Jet (pseudonym), a former ‘bar girl’ turned volunteer at Empower Foundation, tells a harrowing story where one official went as far as to solicit an underage sex worker. “Once a police officer posed as a client and asked a brothel owner whether there were any workers under the age of 18. When the owner said there weren’t any, the officer asked them to find one, and the owner did so. At first, the girl didn’t dare to go , not because she was afraid of the police, but of meeting a nasty client. “But the officer persisted, kept flirting, acted sweet to befriend the girl until finally, she began to trust him — began to feel that, ‘This guy is a good person. He probably wouldn’t hurt me’. Simply, she grew fond of the officer. In the end, when she agreed to go with the officer, she was arrested. “But do you know the saddest part? The officer that she trusted was the one who interrogated her. He took notes on the interrogation right to the girl’s face.” Unfortunately, arrests of sex workers can have far-reaching complications for their careers. Jet reports that most sex workers who are implicated in sting operations choose to leave the industry. Those who desire to keep working struggle to find work, since employers fear they will draw the attention of authorities. Jet added that sting operations at brothels have increased in frequency ever since the Trafficked in Persons 2016 report ranked Thailand as among those countries with the highest incidents of human trafficking. She also warns the government against blurring sex workers who voluntarily enter the industry with victims of human trafficking. Chantawipa argues that if the junta was committed to ending human trafficking, it would invest funds into exposing the networks of influential people and even state officials who benefit from the market — rather than chasing and arresting petty actors who may not even be victims of human trafficking, but rather voluntarily sell sex. However, the Thai Royal Police have proved unresponsive to criticisms of their sting operations against sex workers. During a meeting with the UN Committee on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW), a representative of the Royal Thai Police went as far as to deny the issue’s existence. “In the case of sting operations, I insist that the Office of the Royal Thai Police has never included them in official policy, and has never supported officers to use such measures,” claimed Maj Gen Kraibun Suadsong. This article was first published in Thai on Prachatai and translated into English by Catherine Yen. – You can follow BangkokJack on Instagram, Twitter & Reddit. Or join the free mailing list (top right) Please help us continue to bring the REAL NEWS - PayPal Read the full article

[ms-m-astrologer]

Transiting Sun enters Virgo

August 22 - September 22, 2017

First off, most of us are aware that, in ancient times, a Virgin wasn’t a sexually inexperienced young girl, right? It meant a young woman who hadn’t yet given birth to a child! A virgin was a young woman who belonged to herself alone - free from and immune to the whims of a dad, bro, or hubby. She was definitely not a piece of property to be passed from one male “protector” to the next. I’ve always seen Jane Eyre as a wonderful Virgo archetype. She could definitely take care of herself. And look at all those sexpot sultry actresses on the celebrity list! Who could ever own Sophia Loren? Finally, the Arch-Virgin, Elizabeth I: “I thank God I am endued with such qualities that if I were turned out of the Realm in my petticoat I were able to live in any place in Christendom.” Woo hoo, preach, sister!

I have to admit - as an experienced mom - it’s a hell of a lot easier to keep it together before you have kids, than afterward. (Even now that both of them are legal adults….) And the need for “keeping it together” is something we feel strongly when the Sun enters Virgo. In the US, school is starting up again, and the lazy summer routines (raises hand sullenly) must give way to the bustle of getting everyone where they’re supposed to be, in a timely manner. Not to mention, keeping track of what homework is due when.

It’s easier to swing all that if we’re healthy, and (once again) lazy summer habits need to give way to nutritious meals, moderate exercise, and adequate rest. We can’t “coast” now; we have to make an effort.

The goal is “to function efficiently” (as Bloch and George put it) - to be able at least to “keep it together.” Higher goals might include being useful to the tribe or smaller community, and working toward sustainability. There is also a hint of proving one’s worth, here. Leo’s mouth makes promises Virgo must keep? The sign of the Virgin can be seen as a reaction to the ego and arrogance of the Lion gone awry. These are the quiet heroes, getting things done.

It’s the usual mixed bag of aspects during the Sun’s jaunt through Virgo. I noticed that it will make “flowing” aspects to three of the four Lady Asteroids, which (in my peculiar astro cosmos-view) rule Virgo. Let’s use that, okay, troops?

Celebrities with Sun in Virgo: Beyonce, Bernie Sanders, Freddie Mercury, Pink, Warren Buffett, Sophia Loren, Stephen King, Louis XIV of France, Tom Hardy, Colin Firth, Greta Garbo, Tim Burton, Jimmy Fallon, Agatha Christie, Elizabeth I of England, Paulo Coelho, Chris Pine, Rupert Grint, Tom Felton, Lauren Bacall, Fiona Apple, Genghis Khan, Goethe, Zendaya, Jack Black, Ingrid Bergman, Florence Welch, Leo Tolstoy

Friday, August 25, Juno Rx/Capricorn trine Sun/Virgo, 2:43

Virgo is, by orientation, an interpersonal sign: its concern is with one-to-one relationships. So it’s fitting that the first (major) aspect the Sun will make is a trine to the “relationship” Lady Asteroid. We’ve all heard the adage, “If you want to make a friend, be one” - this is trying to tell us, “If you want a partner, be worthy of one.” For singles, this would be a great time to volunteer at the closest public school.

Planets/Points affected lie between 1:43 and 3:43 of the yin signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.

Saturday, August 26, Mercury Rx/Virgo conjunct Sun/Virgo, 3:47

This is the Inferior Conjunction; to be blogged about separately.

Monday, September 4, Neptune Rx/Pisces opposite Sun/Virgo, 12:51; Uranus Rx/Aries (28:05) sesquare Sun/Virgo (13:05)

Here is the Sun, representative of our identity, vitality, and conscious purpose, getting involved for the first time with the Semi-Square of Technology. Considering that this is also Labor Day in the US - perhaps something we need to ponder, over our end-of-summer beers, is whether or not all this technology is good for our spirits and our Immortal Souls. It’s nice that my phone wakes me up, remembers my mom’s phone number, and sends me weather/Amber alerts. But what happens if the power grid fails and I can’t charge the damned thing? And what if I want a hug? Technology is fine as a virtual rooster, secretary, and town crier; it isn’t fine when I use it as a substitute for human contact.

Planets/Points affected lie between 11:51 and 14:05 of the mutable signs Gemini*, Virgo*, Sagittarius*, and Pisces*; and between 26:11 and 29:05 of the cardinal signs Aries*, Cancer*, Libra*, and Capricorn*.

Wednesday, September 6, Pallas/Taurus trine Sun/Virgo, 14:10

Pallas is about to turn retrograde (on Monday the 11th). My hope for this trine is that the Sun/Virgo and its quest for efficiency helps Pallas/Taurus realize that we need new, more effective ways of training ourselves and others. Anything that’s “set in stone” (Taurus) ought not to be trusted. Virgo’s innate ability to sort the wheat from the chaff should be enormously helpful with this discernment process.

Planets/Points affected lie between 13:10 and 15:10 of the yin signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.

Saturday, September 9, Pluto Rx/Capricorn trine Sun/Virgo, 16:56

This (like everything else in life) can go two ways. One is to become the perfect corporate lackey, a cross between Uriah Heep and Peter Pettigrew, adapting the attitude of “you can’t fight city hall.” The other way, in the words of astrologer Isabel Hickey: “The individual’s desire for advancement and evolvement go hand in hand with the ability to eliminate negative associations and attitudes that would otherwise cause him delay.” It’s a pragmatic, moderating kind of influence, under which we get what we can get right now while keeping an eye on what’s possible for the future.

Planets/Points affected fall between 15:56 and 17:56 of the yin signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.

Wednesday, September 13, Saturn/Sagittarius square Sun/Virgo, 21:29

The comic prophet George Carlin said, “Behind every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.” (And didn’t he perfectly exemplify that.) This is one of those “turning away” type of squares, and the temptation will be strong to turn away from making any kind of effort to improve things (especially on the heels of that Sun-Pluto trine). Keep in mind that as a mutable square, it’s going to be easy to shake off the negative vibes. The Sagittarian vision needs to be backed up by the Virgoan hard work.

Planets/Points affected lie between 20:29 and 22:29 of the mutable signs Gemini*, Virgo*, Sagittarius*, and Pisces*; and between 5:29 and 7:29 of the fixed signs Taurus*, Leo*, Scorpio*, and Aquarius.

Tuesday, September 19, Chiron Rx/Pisces opposite Sun/Virgo, 26:33

“Physician, heal thyself,” is one potential manifestation. How can we presume to clean up and mend the world when we ourselves are in such pathetic shape? Perhaps “Walk it like we talk it” is also appropriate here. At the same time, we mustn’t go too overboard with the self-recrimination. To be enveloped and consumed by self-pity and self-loathing, is to be ineffective.

Planets/Points affected lie between 25:33 and 27:33 of the mutable signs Gemini*, Virgo*, Sagittarius*, and Pisces*; and between 10:33 and 12:33 of the fixed signs Taurus*, Leo*, Scorpio*, and Aquarius*.

Thursday, September 21, Ceres/Cancer sextile Sun/Virgo, 29:12

This is truly summative of the Virgo experience when done right, isn’t it? We identify with being supportive and nurturing; we “get off” on creating a supportive and nurturing environment for our tribe; and we can sense (at least in part) how creating and sustaining this kind of security is good for our souls, as well as for the souls of those we care for. It’s a really helpful aspect, and I can’t think of a better vibe to have as we prepare to enter Sun/Libra territory.

Planets/Points affected lie between 28:12 and 29:59 of the yin signs Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, and Pisces.

[nonprofittalk]

Pitching Notes: David Brand Managing Editor Queens Daily Eagle

It's a tough time to launch a newspaper, given how many ones across the country have been shutting their doors. Why launch the Queens Daily Eagle now? 

For years, there was a serious gap in coverage of the Queens legal justice system, which in some way affects all 2.4 million borough residents. Eaglepublishers Dozier Hasty and Michael Nussbaum decided to fill that gap and in May 2018 they approached me to work as managing editor for the Queens Daily Eagle. It happened to be an amazing moment to start a new newspaper in Queens. We published our first issue on Monday, June 25, 2018. The very next day, June 26, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez defeated Joe Crowley in the Democratic primary for NY-14. The movement that fueled candidacy just keeps growing and gaining influence. 

A few weeks later, the Queens DA race got underway. That race has elevated radical reform proposals and generated national attention, and we were the first paper covering it intensely.  So we had the good fortune of starting the paper just as Queens was becoming the site of so many exciting political and justice reform developments, and I think we have seized the opportunity.  

What differentiates the Queens Daily Eagle, given that there are a number of local papers in Queens to begin with? 

There are some historic, important newspapers in Queens, but we differentiate ourselves as the only print daily. We publish a print newspaper every single weekday, plus a weekend edition. We also specialize in our coverage of the legal justice system, with a particular emphasis on justice reform. I'm often the only reporter in the Queens Criminal Courthouse and we cover a lot of developments in Civil Court, as well.  

Tell us about your background - it wasn't always in journalism? 

I am relatively new to the field after gradually changing careers over the past few years.  I am a licensed social worker and I earned my Masters in social work from NYU a few years ago. I worked for several years as a case manager at a Harlem supportive housing site for people who used to be homeless, as a counselor at a high school in Canarsie and even as a therapy intern at a drop-in center for homeless LGBTQ young adults.  

I got my personal trainer certificate and developed programs fusing fitness and mental health treatment for low-income New Yorkers. I have worked for nearly a dozen organizations and I have worked in every borough but Staten Island. Through these jobs, I learned a lot about different communities and nonprofits. The roles helped me better understand other people's experiences and gave me insight into mental health, trauma, the effects of poverty and the direct impact of city, state and federal policies.  

What led you in this direction? 

I was freelance reporting a bit, especially while working as a consultant doing my fitness/mental health programs, but I knew I was suppressing my real goal of a career in journalism. I wanted to tell people's stories. I wanted to investigate and expose the exploitative, discriminatory, racist crap that my clients and often my coworkers encountered every single day. Around late-2016, I allowed myself to pursue my dream and go hard for a full-time reporter role.   

What was your first taste of journalism? 

I wrote a couple articles for my high school paper, but my first real taste of journalism was when I walked into the office of the Daily Free Press, the independent student newspaper at Boston University, my freshman year. I was really nervous and I asked what I had to to do try to report for the paper. 

The ad staff were the only ones there early in the day, but they took my information and share it with the editorial department. An editor called me that night. He assigned me to cover a slam poetry event and it was so exciting to visit the office late at night, write the story, sit for edits and then see it in print the next morning.  They kept calling and assigning me to cover events in parts of Boston I had never visited. Sometimes the assignments were boring, but I ended up learning a lot about city government and university administration that I never would have before. It was cool. 

What stories excite you? 

I value stories that expose the inequities affecting low-income New Yorkers, predominantly people of color. Stories that wake everyone else up by explaining that, Yes, this horrifying, unfair, brutal, exploitative crap is really happening to people who don't live too far from you and me. And not only do we not know about it, we may even be playing a role in making it worse.  

I remember a New York Times story from 2015 about the bureaucratic nightmare that older New Yorkers face when they have to renew food stamps. This amazing story by Ese Olumhense for City Limits (she now works THE CITY) about the obstacles NYCHA tenants face when they seek safety transfers also stands out. Relatively wealthy people have no way of learning about these things without great journalism. And journalists need to be turned onto these stories by the people doing the work. 

What do you look for in a story? 

I look for stories that challenge me to consider a familiar topic from a new perspective, or stories that personalize systemic issues and then explain those issues thoroughly. For example, reporter Allen Arthur did a deep-dive into the parole reform movement that has been gaining momentum over the past several years. 

It was a unique topic and the story was totally different than anything I read about parole reform. It was extremely thorough and one of the best stories the Queens Daily Eagle has published.  

Where do you get your ideas? 

I draw on my experiences in social work and I often connect with people I know from that career. I have spent a significant amount of time in court and have become acquainted with a lot of defense attorneys, especially public defenders, who turn me onto issues, too. 

For nonprofits that want to get coverage in the Queens Daily Eagle, provide some advice on the best way to frame a pitch.

I suggest framing it from a Queens perspective - why should people in Queens care? It doesn't have to be totally Queens-centric, but we almost certainly won't cover a one-off event in the Bronx or Manhattan. 

An experience or a person that represents a broader trend is another great way to frame a pitch. For example: I knew of a supportive housing organization that began training their staff AND their tenants on how to use naloxone (Narcan) in case they encountered someone overdosing. That was huge to me, because tenants are way more likely to encounter a neighbor who has OD'd, especially when staff only work 8 or so hours a day. 

I started to see if other agencies were doing the same thing and if not, why, when the opioid crisis is so severe. (Here's that story.) That was a cool way for one organization's experience to highlight a bigger issue. 

What are your pet peeves about pitches that come your way? 

My biggest pet peeve is when people email me a pitch on my personal email address. I almost never check that address and then it gets complicated having to forward it to my work email and corresponding after that. 

If there's no Queens connection, I usually have to pass. I don't particularly like pitches that promote someone's charity work. I usually don't like pitches that aren't representative of a bigger issue.  I usually pass on stories that are like "this person ran 100 miles to raise awareness about an issue" - though those can sometimes be nice, relatively quick stories and a nice way to get someone some recognition. I usually pass on profiles of new executive directors or board members.  

We're a daily paper and I have to move quickly through emails and pitches, so I often miss what could be great stories. If you think you have a potentially great story, follow up. 

How is the Queens Daily Eagle doing since launch? 

We're doing well! We have grown a lot since we started 14 months ago. Our website is about to hit 1 million visitors for the year, we continue to distribute a daily print paper and we have grown to a full-time editorial staff of three, plus our production manager and a few great interns. I think we have carved out an important niche in Queens and in New York City. 

How can people get in touch with you? 

Best ways to reach me are on Twitter: @DavidFBrand

Email me: david@queenspublicmedia.com

Call me: (908) 310-3960

[suckerforhobi]

Cirque Du Rêve Pt.01

Pairings: Hoseok x Reader / Jungkook x Reader (2nd POV)

Summary: You’ve always dreamt of being a member of a circus, one day your dream comes true.

You thought you would faint then and there, the suffocating warm weather didn’t calm your nerves as you were waiting for your name to be called out. There was a large white fan but sadly the blissful cold never reached you.

You wondered how you got here in the first place and the reason behind it but you couldn’t think about anything else but your little sister. Jina, your adorable little sibling to whom you could never say no, who’s smile shone even in the darkest moments of your life, she was the only good thing in your life, the only one who remained to you.

Your parents died in a car crash, the only surviving members of your little family were you and your little sister, who was only a baby that time. Your grandma brought you two up, you became legally adult and you studied in the university until the day your grandmother passed away. You became your 8-year-old sister’s guardian at the age of 20, you left the school and you did your best to raise the little kiddo. You knew it would be hard but not impossibly hard.

You had a hard time balancing your life - work, your sister and even spend some time as you were an awfully young person to pick up a guy or just to get some drink. You felt like a single mom - and a bit you were that as you didn’t have relationships since your grandmother had died.

As you were sitting nervously, only wanting to go home now as you fought with the lack of your patience, the plump woman opened the door and says your name.

“Number 80, L/N Y/N, come.” The older woman’s loud harsh voice filled the waiting room, you earned few glances from the other girls around you, leaving an odd and uncomfortable feeling in you.

You stood up immediately, pulled down your shirt to cover your stomach properly, grabbed your purse and walked to the door. You were shaking, you didn’t know what to expect. Ever since you were a child, you had dreamt of working for the infamous Cirque Du Rêve, South Korea’s biggest circus. There in Seoul, every tourist, politician wanted to see them performing and going all around the world, from Canada to the China.

You needed money, you knew it, you wanted to provide a stable future for both you and Jina. You found it would be a good way to get money if you managed to get the job as a dancer. You had to sit down and talk with your other family members to help you taking care of Jina, if you theoretically became a member of the circus. Everybody felt sorry for you and wanted the best for you, too.

As you came in, a middle- aged man was waiting for you behind his desk, in his suit and tie, and you were sure he was the boss. Judging by his built, you thought he was also an acrobat once, probably ten years ago he was still able to perform.

“So, you are L/N Y/N, am I right?” He flashed you a warm smile and pointed at the chair in front of you to sit down on. “Nice to meet you, I’m Park Seungwon.”

“Nice to meet you, too Sir.”

The man had a friendly aura around him and you realised you stopped shaking, instead, you were watching the CEO’s face closely. His eyes didn’t hold any bad signs and he got to the point.

“So Miss L/N, you applied for our announcement. Your motivational letter is quite heart-warming, I have to say. But I’m afraid, you aren’t qualified enough for this job. I wanted to give this offer to somebody else but luckily she declared she wanted to work somewhere else. You are an ideal candidate, even though you don’t have any real experience in performing. However, I can see myself in you, the motivation, the selflessness. Not talking about your outstanding videos! And I had some people to convince me, to be honest. You got the job.”

You couldn’t utter a word first but you found himself jumping to Mr. Park in happiness, hugging him like an insane young woman. You then tried to move away in horror but the man just laughed. “Yes, I also like your enthusiasm.”

“Thank you sir, thank you, thank you.” You chanted, trying to hold back your tears.

As you got home, your sister was waiting for you, instantly ran to you and wanted you to pick her up. You two were so close, she didn’t even need to say a word you always knew what she wanted or if something bothered her.

“What’s up? You’re so heavy... where’s your babysitter by the way?”

You scanned through the house to locate the teenager girl you hired for keep an eye on Jina, who had the task to wait and play with her until you arrived home. You mentally made a note that not to ask her anymore.

“She said she had to go somewhere.” You felt your blood boiling, ready to scold the stupid, careless girl. You thought of you when you were as old as Jihye - you helped your grandma and little sister. Not randomly disappear.

As Mr. Park promised you, you had emails, with the photocopy of your signed contract and the details of your workplace and hours. Luckily, Jina’s best friend was your neighbour so you could ask her mom or dad to bring your sister to school along with their child. 

You had to arrive at 6 am and you had to stay for a very, very long time. There were performances every day and the last one sometimes ended at about 10 pm. You became a member, you had to work a lot with the acrobats and other performers.

‘I hope I will fit in.’ You sighed before you fell asleep on your bed.

You woke up earlier than you thought you would on your first day. You were absolutely mortified, you were afraid. You didn’t get enough sleep but you had go and do your thing. 

You told Jina everything, she cried a bit - you were the only people by her side but as you mentioned she can hang out a bit more with her friend she stopped crying.

You parked your car and you saw that everyone had their name, you were really touched when you noticed yours, too. As you climbed out of your car you heard two women arguing.

“YOU CAN’T READ?! IT WAS MY GODDAMN PLACE.”

“Then TELL THAT ASSHOLE FRIEND OF YOURS NOT TO PARK HIS FUCKING CAR ON MY SPOT.”

‘What a spirit.’

As you entered, your brain finally accepted the facts. Now you were working here, you got the job. You could get enough money to have a normal life with your sister.

You were an excellent dancer in high school. You won a couple of competitions and you even had the chance to represent South Korea but you couldn’t, not long after the good news your parents died. Of course, it was out of the question - you and your family had to take care of a funeral of two young people.

“Good morning. Are you Y/N, right?” Greeted you the receptionist behind her desk. She was a pretty girl, prettier than you and she seemed to be absolutely sympathetic to you.

“Yes. Nice to meet you...”

“Nari. Do you know the way to the practice room, right?”

You shook my head lightly and she gave you a smile and told you how to find the practice room for dancers. she said you were the latest one to join the girls and you couldn’t help but felt nervousness. Nari told you not to take anything to your heart if you get scolded or get remarks. There were some divas but the majority were kind.

You still had some time before you had to arrive, so you decided to check the other rooms. You opened carefully the door and you saw a young man on a trapeze. He didn’t seem to be scared in the height - you were impressed. When your parents brought you to the show years ago, you were fascinated by the aerialists. They didn’t fear of anything, unlike you.

You don’t know how much you were there seeing the practice of the man you only froze when he spoke to you with a huge grin on his face.

“I think it’s wrong room, newbie.” He said softly and you immediately blushed, his grin got wider noticing your flushed face.

“Sorry. I didn’t want to disturb you.” You closed the door in hurry and going to the practice room you had to go.

You entered the right room as you saw the other girls talking and laughing. Everybody’s eyes in the room landed you when you came in.

“Hello... I’m Y/N L/N and nice to meet you, I hope we can work well together and be friends.”

As Nari predicted most of them introduced themselves and engaged a conversation with you but two or three girls looked at you if you hadn’t been a dancer but a clown, dislike evident in their eyes.

You befriended the choreographer in your group, who was 33 years and being the eldest and the most qualified, she was in charge of making choreographies and training. Her name was Jisoo, you couldn’t believe your ears when she told you her real age. 

You stretched for long enough and you were about the finish the session when a loud knock interrupted you. Luckily the music wasn’t playing so all of you could hear it clearly. Your face got paler when you noticed the guy from earlier but this time you had the opportunity to see his face. He also noticed you and you lost in his dark orbs until Jisoo dragged him back to Earth. 

“What is it, Hoseok?”

“Noona, Mr. Park is calling for you. It’s about the next tour, I guess.”

Jisoo hummed in understanding and turned to the young man. “Okay.”

Hoseok looked at you once again before Jisoo closed the door. “I’ll be back soon, stretch even a bit more.”

You were extremely tired. It had been a long time since you had danced that much a day. It reminded you of your old days and you couldn’t help smiling at the loving memories. Before you could open the car door you heard someone behind you, making you flinch.

“Did you like your first day, newbie?”

Hoseok was leaning to your car and waiting for your answer. He was insanely attractive and you heard girls talking about how cute and likeable he was. He had a huge effect on women - you could tell when he opened the door of your practice room, almost everyone gasped.

“Yes, I did, thank you for asking.”

“I’m Jung Hoseok by the way and welcome to the team.” He smiled at you, and you felt he was genuinely happy to meet you.

“Hi, I’m L/N Y/N.” You answered and reached your hands out for him that he grabbed and shook. 

“I know. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

You raised your eyebrows, you didn’t expect that you were a topic to the other performers. You were an ordinary young dancer who got the chance to be accepted.

“Really?”

He nodded and smiled playfully. “I even saw your videos, you are cool.”

“You were also great up there.” You said shyly and you prayed for God for not sounding like an idiot.

“Thank you. I have to go now. See you around.” He waved his hand and you felt strange as he left so soon. You thought his face was familiar to you but you couldn’t explain why. 

Your first day was more than great, you met many different people. You met jugglers, clowns, even animal trainers.

When you got home around 11 pm, you saw your sister sleeping in your bed, holding onto your t-shirt. Your heart ached, you knew you two would spend less time together but you knew - you were doing this especially for her.

[zucca101]

Friendship ending

A lot of people have had friends dump them because they either voted for Trump or don’t hate Trump enough.

And when they are forced to see that the friends they try to dump aren’t horrible people, they perform mental gymnastics to convince themselves that their former friends are horrible people.

The following is a long rant from one such friend of mine and my response. If you recognize who it is, I DEMAND you seek no reprisal from them. I am keeping them anonymous to protect their identity for just that reason.

... A leftist, really now. Ahaha, oh wow.

*Link to the post I made about Lincoln being shot by a Leftist*-Z

Yes, noted Confederate sympathizer and anti-abolitionist John Wilkes Booth. A leftist.I was already keeping you at a healthy arm's length while putting up a vague semblance of friendship for the sake of not rocking the boat on that one server we're in, but holy shit have you ever lost your damn marbles. I can't do this, lmaoI mean, you've got an impressive collection of bullshit on that blog of yours all around, but this? chef kissHonestly, on some level, you impress me. How someone can claim to be anti-establishment while sucking up to the establishment every possible way they can, how someone can claim to be "seeking truth" only to disregard all evidence that can't be traced back to some skeezy reactionary Facebook page or another delivered to you through the impermeable little bubble of right-wingers you've created for yourself along with the right wing side of mass media your purportedly loathe so much... tell me, just how much cognitive dissonance do you deal with on a daily basis?How does it feel to claim to be "pro life", or to claim that you care about others only to push for measures to restrict access to healthcare, or to vehemently yell against anything the government could do that would make it easier for people to come out of the vicious spiral of poverty?(edited)How does it feel to constantly pretend to care about minorities, but only ever use us as gotchas to other minorities that you've internally designated as universally bad in spite of any evidence to the contrary - not to mention, without ever listening to us if we tell you you did something wrong, instead cherry picking those of us willing enough to suck up to the establishment to tell you what you want to hear, so you never have to confront the idea you may have done something wrong?(edited)Hell, isn't that what they call "virtue signaling" in your circles?Beyond your dishonesty to others, ask yourself this: are you even honest to yourself? Aren't you robbing yourself of any kind of personal growth by doing all this? Are you really contributing anything positive to this world by constantly spreading unchecked factoids that instantly fall apart the moment you expose them to any actual scientific sources (you know, the ones people in your general political corner like to call "fake news"), or by spreading the idea that people in dire straits should just pull themselves up by their bootstraps?Or for that matter, by resisting any measure of change towards a fairer society and instead vocally gushing about the virtues of a system that, by its very nature, its very definition, its very -essence- is about fucking over who you can, and quietly plugging your ears to anything you hear about the many negative consequences it has for the world, or the people living in it?Come back to me once you've learned how to maintain a shred of integrity, I suppose. Maybe take some time to reflect on what it means to be a good person. I can't be friends with someone to whom I have to explain why they should care about other people.Goodbye.

This is my response:

In 1865 John Wilkes Booth, a Democrat, assassinated Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States.

In 1881 a left wing radical Democrat shot James Garfield, President of the United States who later died from the wound.

In 1963 Lee Harvey Oswald, a radical left wing socialist, assassinated John F. Kennedy, President of the United States.

In 1975 a left wing radical Democrat fired shots at Gerald Ford, President of the United States.

In 1983 John Hinckley, a registered Democrat, shot and wounded Ronald Reagan and paralyzed a member of his cabinet.

... In 1984 James Huberty, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 22 people in a McDonalds restaurant in San Ysidro, CA.

In 1986 Patrick Sherril, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 15 people in an Oklahoma post office.

In 1990 James Pough, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 10 people at a GMAC office.

In 1991 George Hennard, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 23 people in a Lubys cafeteria.

In 1995 James Daniel Simpson, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 5 coworkers in a Texas laboratory.

In 1999 Larry Asbrook, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 8 people at a church service.

In 2001 a left wing radical Democrat fired shots at the White House in a failed attempt to kill George W. Bush, President of the US.

In 2003 Douglas Williams, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 7 people at a Lockheed Martin plant.

In 2007 Seung - Hui Cho, a registered Democrat, shot and killed 32 people in Virginia Tech.

In 2010 Jared Lee Loughner, a mentalliy ill registered Democrat, shot Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and killed 6 others.

In 2011 James Holmes, a registered Democrat, went into a movie theater and shot and killed 12 people.

In 2012 Andrew Engeldinger, a disgruntled Democrat, shot and killed 7 people in Minneapolis.

In 2013 Adam Lanza, a registered Democrat, shot and killed men, women, and children in the Sandy Hook school massacre.

Leftist? Maybe JWB was, maybe he wasn't. But a Democrat, he assuredly was. Perhaps I overreached in saying he was a Leftist, but I should clarify that when I say 'Leftist' I don't mean 'someone on the Left'. I mean someone who believes The Left is the ONLY way. The same way I draw distinction between Muslims and Islamists. Islamists want to push it on others. Muslims are the broadest defition of those who follow Islam.

And what establishment am I sucking up to....? I don't watch Fox with any kind of regularity. I get most of my facts from self-described 'classic liberals' whose hearts are on the Left, but their minds are more centrist. They have intellectual honesty. I listen to Gavin McInnis to blow off steam, Bill Whittle for the Right of Center take on news and Sargon for Left of Center.

I don't care for the mass media because while I suspected that they were liars and obfuscating before, to finally have iron-clad proof of it is extremely liberating.

And I CHALLENGE YOU to show me where I said that women should not have access to healthcare. Or even hinted at it. What, you think because I know Single Payer is garbage that will create a pile of corpses. I'm against healthcare for women? I've even said that my stance on abortions is that it should be between the woman and her doctor, not the woman, the government, the doctor, some pencil pushers and more. Just as my stance on same-sex marriage is that it should be between a couple and the church of their choice, not to make it legally compulsory and simply flip the oppression over rather than making it fair and equal of measure. And where abortions are concerned, the parental rights of the father are nonexistent. Now, in cases such as incest and rape (Which if you look at the stats, represent a small minority of abortions) still strongly urge the mother to consider life, but if she chooses abortion, while I find it extremely distasteful (The child DOES NOT HAVE A SAY IN THIS) I fully understand and sympathize with the decision.

As for helping people out of poverty, you know what's the BEST way out of poverty that ISN'T a government program?

A job. A simple job. And if the government creates conditions that *encourage* job growth, then you accomplish the same end without making people dependent on the governmnet.

That's not to say that there shouldn't be charity for people who TRULY cannot help themselves. That's a given. But when you extend the scope of those within the perview of the government to give money to to include people who CAN help themselves, then you create dependents. And it's not that they're bad or lazy people. They're taking the least complicated route. If you get more money for not working than you do for working, you'll take the one that affords you free time to spend with your family, friends or on your own pursuits.

Constantly pretend to.... universally bad...? WHAT....? Dude, don't even try that one. Blah-blah, anyone Right of Mao is racist, blah. Pardon my French, but go fly a frikken kite. In my tabletop gaming group, my friend Paul, 2nd Generation Japanese immigrant, is the most decent and kind man I've had the pleasure of knowing. He's a good dad to his kids and a good husband to his wife. My freind Zach is from a huge Filipino family and he's the best GM I've ever met, short of my oldest brother. John grew up in a Cadillac before his parents legally became citizens and came up to America from Mexico. These are guys I trust, literally, with my life. And none of us give a crap what the other looks like.

And I admit, for a while I was 100% not on board with Transsexualism. But since then I've come to stand that an adult who has spoken to a therapist and doctor, sorted out their feelings and decided after consideration that they wish to transition is completely fine by me. It doesn't hurt me or anyone else and if they've spoken to a therapist, then they're not setting themselves up for something regrettable. Now, trans-trenders, who want the status of being special and different, but don't want to go through the heartache and effort of making that transition, I call out for their bullshit, because not only are they full of shit, they're robbing REAL transsexuals of their credibility, their agency and their respect. And for some transsexuals to come out and say 'You don't have a right not to have sex with a transsexual', can't you see how that would rub some folk the wrong way?

Don't even try to talk to me about science, friend. I studied biology, agricultural science and psychology and I know a thing or two and when someone obfuscates or has nothing peer-reviewed, then I get suspicious. Again, I'd sorely love for you to point out where I was 'anti-science'.

And if you're suggesting that Socialism is your fluffy 'Fair Society' then I suggest you travel to Venezuala. I have a friend who lives there and the picture he paints is NOT a pretty one. How do you define a 'Fair society'? Because I define it as a society that rewards effort. You do a hard day's work, you make a fair wage and you work your way up the ladder. You can't try to take luck or privilege into account on EITHER Socialism or Capitalism, because there is no way to quantify the variable of luck and when you look at privelege, then it exists in the pipedream of Socialism too, because the people running it will ALWAYS BE BETTER OFF than the people who are not. That's simple human nature. The Great Wheel of Life as the Buddhists describe still exerts its effect on a Socialist state as much as a Capitalist. But unlike Socialism, at least in Capitalism you have, barring disability, the same shot as anyone else does to earn a good living.

I find it laughable that you sit there, where you are, and decry someone you know through occasional chats as either a good person or a not good person based on arbitrary variables.

See, the truth is that life is not as black and white as that. It's an exquisite composition of greys and other colors.

Sometimes life is good, sometimes life is not, but if you are free to self-determination (Something you DO NOT HAVE IN SOCIALISM) then you have a chance to better yourself. You DARE to accuse me of not caring about people out of one side of your mouth, while, with the other, propping up Socialism, which *DOES NOT CARE* about people to the point that a child is worthy of sacrifice due to SIMPLE INCONVENIENCE?! Sorry, but *fuck* that is the very cognative dissonance you accuse me of in plain and flagrant view.

I push myself to be a good person. I don't hurt people, I volunteer, I help the seniors at my church with many needs, I'm there for my friends and family and will drop what I'm doing to help, I treat everyone working retail with respect and actively try to make their day brighter, I don't care what color someone's skin is, I don't care if someone is disabled (My best friend back in Youth Bowling League and a better bowler than I, was a deaf boy named Arron), and I am generally considered to be very 'chill' in person and am so without chemical intervention. Does that make me a good person? I don't rightly know. I just do the best I can with what I've got. And I don't *dare* to assume that I have moral highground unless it's a truly clear-cut case. I've never killed, raped (Even though 3rd Wave Feminism insists that in every man there is a rapist that needs to be taught not to rape_) or stolen anything (Some shoplifting in my youth notwithstanding). In other words, I try to be a decent and polite person and let the world decide if I am or not a good person.

But what boggles my mind is that the line between good person and bad person is tied DIRECTLY to what side of the political spectrum they fall under. That is simplisticly childish. As is the 'Come back to me when you care about people' nonsense.

I will again wait for you to come to your senses and realize that life is not a cartoon with cartoonishly one-note people.

Genuinely warm regards,

-Zucca

[werm-whole-skwerm]

all of 'em, kiddo. every. single. last. question.

J A Y, YOU FUCKING TURD.

1. How long have you had a Tumblr?5 years. This shit blog turned 5 last month.

2. Describe your first kiss, who was it with, what was it like, where was it etc?It was gross. It was with a boy named Tyler that I was dating at the time. We had been dating for 3 months, and we were at my house watching tv in the den, and I was on his lap, and he leaned down and kissed me and I just went with it. It was gross and sloppy and there was teeth.

3. What’s your biggest regret? I know we all say we don’t regret things but obviously it’s how we learn, from our mistakes. So what’s something from your past you wished you could have changed?The last time I saw my mom before she died, I didn’t hug her, and I wish I did.

4. Favorite Songs at the moment?One Jump Ahead - Sugita TomokazuChim Chim Cher-ee - Terashima TakumaDeal With - OldCodexCollar Full - Panic! At The DiscoBeez In The Trap - Nicki MinajRoundabout - YesI Want You - Savage Garden

5. What is the craziest thing that you have ever done?I smuggled a friend over state lines without her parents knowing.

6. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?I tripped at my graduation. Like I hit the step with my shoe and almost fell.

7. Do you have any scars and if so, how did you get them?I have a scar on my right upper arm from getting burnt when I was a kid. I have a scar on my right index finger cause I just lost skin on it going to math class one day? I have a scar on the base of my left thumb from getting it closed in a van window as a kid. My right knee is scarred from falling off my bike as a kid and then a week later doing the same thing and scrapping off the scab and making it worse. I used to have self-harm scars, but I don’t know if they’re there anymore.

8. Where would you like to be in 10 years?Hopefully in an apartment with my friends or my girlfriend with a pug named The Pug Formerly Known as Bagels and doing what I love.

9. What are your views on drugs and alcohol?I don’t really condone drugs past weed and I don’t personally use any form of drug. The exception being alcohol. I love drinking alcohol. I love being drunk.

10. What are your views on religion?Well I’m an atheist, so I don’t really believe in religion, but also if you prescribe to a certain religion then that’s your business and it’s not my place to pass judgment or try to tell you otherwise. Just don’t shove your religion down my throat and accost me for being a non-believer, and I won’t bother you.

11. Have you ever thought about ending your own life? If so, why?Yes, many many times. When I was a teenager I researched different methods of suicide and how I wanted to do. I had things picked out. I still sometimes want to die. I can’t tell you why really. I can’t say it’s all too much or too much stress or anything, but I’m just tired of living and feel like a waste.

12. Write 5 facts people might not know about you.-I’m adopted.-I have 4 siblings, an older brother, an older sister, a younger sister, and a younger brother in that order.-I have a phobia of newspaper.-I was in JROTC for 4 years and won a national award.-I was in honors and AP classes from the age of 10-17.

13. last really important text you got? I know it’s probably not important sounding, but she had texted me about being lucky I was her friend and it made my life.

14. Can you let go?Eventually. It takes a while, but I’m capable of it.

15. Discuss your first love.He was someone I met on Tumblr. He had messaged me something, I could probably find it in my inbox still probably. But we met through here, and he was just great. I loved everything about him. We talked all night, said things to each other that we wouldn’t tell anyone else, were always talking. Every time I saw him I got butterflies and freaked out. He was honestly something amazing to me, but it never came to fruition. I spent 2 years having an unrequited love for this boy until I realized I was gay.

16. Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up. Explain why each song is on there.Roundabout is on here because I fucking love JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure and it’s a good song.One-Eighty by Summer is on here because Taking Back Sunday used to be my favorite band when I was younger, and I still really like them, but this was also my favorite song for a while when I was a teenager.Kick Me is on here because it’s the only good song Sleeping With Sirens has had in years.Creature is on here because I used to really love Asking Alexandria, and From Death to Destiny is one of my favorite albums of theirs, and this was briefly my favorite song.Stained Glass Eyes And Colorful Tears is on here because I fucking love Pierce the Veil, and this song is so beautiful and great and emotional.Jesus Christ is on here because I love Brand New, I grew up with it, and it’s sad, like me, and can be applied to any ship to make you sad, and I am about that life. It’s also just really good.I Love You 5 is on here because I just added a bunch of Never Shout Never. I never listen to it anymore, but I did used to love it as a teenager.Truce is on here because Vessel is an amazing album and I love twenty one pilots.Let It Roll is on here because I’m a slut for All Time Low and their sophomore album was great.Guns for Hands is on here because, as I said, Vessel is an amazing album and I love twenty one pilots.

17. Name somewhere you’d like to move or visit.Japan

18. Are you currently missing someone?Not really. The only person I would be missing I’ve been talking to for like 16 and a half hours.

19. What are your views on mainstream music?It’s popular for a reason. It’s not bad, and people should just let people enjoy what the fuck they want without being a dick.

19. At what age do you think people should have sex?I’m not at a place to be able to dictate when someone should have sex. Personally speaking, I feel like anything under 18, when you’re a legal adult, is too soon, but it’s up to you. That being said, children really under 16 shouldn’t, but, again, that’s not my place to say.

20. What are your highs and lows of this past year?Well in 2017, I pulled myself out of a depression and met an amazing girl that’s one of my closest friends that I adore. Downside, I’ve been depressed basically all fucking year so far.

21. What are your strongest beliefs?Equal rights for all genders and sexualities, true equal opportunity for people to have homes and doctor. God. I don’t even know anymore.

22. Who are you closest to in your family?My nephew I guess. He’s more like a friend to me than a nephew. My mom biologically speaking I guess.

23. How important do you think education is?So fucking important.

24. What’s one of your favorite shows?Catfish

25. How have you changed in the past 2 years?God, everything. I’ve gotten better about my anxiety and depression. I’ve come to terms with my sexuality. I’ve opened up more, been more honest. I’m a better person now.

26. Name 5 people who are famous who you find attractive.Sakurai Takahiro, Yamanaka Takuya, Morita Taka, Eguchi Takuya, Suzuki Tatsuhisa

27. Name your favorite movie and what it’s about.Naruto: Road to Ninja. Naruto gets thrown into Bizzaro World essentially.

28. Who is someone who fascinates you and why?Boi, this is gay, but Cam. She’s just astounding to me. I love learning things about her and talking to her about everything. I don’t know why. Maybe because I have the biggest crush on her?

29. What kind of person attracts you?Usually the nerd type. Or the tattooed and pierced type.

30. What’s a problem that you have recently had or are currently having?Uh, well, I have a huge crush on one of my closest friends with like no chance of it being reciprocated? I guess that counts.

31. Name something that you miss.Candy and soda. I’m on a diet.

32. Share 5 goals you want completed in the next 30 days.-Get my shit sent off to my new college-Definitively find an apartment-At least play some FFXV and BOTW-Start driving lessons-Pass my classes

33. What’s been the highlight of your month and the lowest point? The highlight has just been reconnecting with Cam more closely. The lowest is probably stressing myself out so bad I almost cried.

34. What’s something that you’ve done in the past that you would never do again?Suck dick

35. What is you’re biggest insecurity & why?Just me as a whole. I’m insecure about everything I am because my whole life I’ve been told I wasn’t good enough, that my sister was better than I was, that I had to live up to these expectations, and now I’m insecure about my body, personality, ethnicity. Just everything.

36. What were the last 3 songs you listened to and what did they mean to you?Roundabout, Kick Me, and Stained Glasses Eyes and Colorful Tears. They each mean something different to me, some aspect of my life represented. The weeb, the wannabe rebel, and the sad sappy bitch.

37. Do you have a toy that’s really special to you and if so what is it, how did you get it etc?I have a pink teddy bear named Pinky Bear that i got in 2000 when I first moved to Georgia to live with my new family. My dad’s coworker brought us toys and she was my first teddy bear and she still sleeps in my bed to this day.

38. Have you lost anyone close to you to death? My mom, grandma, and uncle have all died.

39. What is your purpose in life?To die.

40. When was the last time you cried and what was it over?It was a couple months ago, maybe 2. It was the ending of Final Fantasy XV.

41. If you got to spend an entire day with your favourite celebrity what would you guys do? Play video games, eat junk food, watch anime. I don’t really know.

42. If you could only listen to one artist for the rest of your life, who would you choose and why?Panic! At The Disco because none of Brendon’s music sounds the same and there’s such a wide variety.

43. What are 3 traits that you like about yourself and what are three that you dislike about yourself? Personality wise.I like the fact, I guess, I’m pretty loyal to my friends, I like what I like and that’s just gonna be a thing I’ll talk about forever, I’m pretty decently chill and try to make everyone feel welcome. Boi, I dislike the fact that I’m fucking stubborn to a goddamn t,I will grit my teeth and bear through anything anyone does to me no matter how depressed or uncomfortable it makes me, I will literally break myself just to do something for someone else.

44. Can you cook? If so what are your favorite dishes to make? Nope :)

45. What was the last decision you regretted making?I sent Cam a stupid pickup line because it was both hilarious to me and I wanted an excuse to flirt with her, and I wanted to die.

46. Do you believe in the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater”?Yes. Wholeheartedly.

47. Do you ever wish you were famous?Online famous yes. Not real famous. I wanna be a great online personality and cosplayer. But I’m a loser who doesn’t have a personality or do cosplay well.

48. What’s the nastiest thing anyone has ever said to YOU? Or something that’s hurt you above anything else and why?My ex boyfriend blamed me for causing his anxiety attacks and threatened suicide multiple times when I realistically, or even joked, about breaking up with him. It really messed me up.

50. What mark would you want to leave on this world after you are gone?I want to have left someone happier than when i found them. If I can make one person’s life better, I’ll be happy.

51. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?All the time.

52. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?Not yet.

53. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face?Of course I have.

54. What’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you?Nothing. No one ever does anything for me.

55. What is one of your favorite memories?All night roadtrip to Nashville with my friends. I won an InuYasha at a truck stop.

58. What’s the nicest present you’ve ever received?My ex girlfriend sent me the Clear nendoroid I really wanted.

59. Have you ever had your heart broken?So many times.

60. Have you ever wanted to change anything about your life? If so, what?Literally everything. Take your pick, I’ve wanted to change it.

61. What is something you feel like you are really good at? Being depressed.

62. What are your top 5 favourite all time songs by your favourite artist?Collar FullSarah SmilesCamisadoHurricaneGirls/Girls/Boys

65. What’s one thing someone has done for you that was really small but made a huge impact?Checked on me when I was feeling depressed.

66. What do you do when you can’t sleep?Bother Cam is she’s awake. if not, then just watch Youtube videos until I basically pass out.

68. If you could change 3 things within your government, what would they be and why?Donald Trump, the Trump administration, the republican party

69. What’s your favourite holiday and why?Halloween cause free dress up holiday.

70. What’s the kindest thing a stranger has ever done for you? Even if it’s TINY like holding a door open for you, something that you remember even though they were a complete stranger.Someone, I cannot remember her name, called me pretty out in public and it made my life????

71. Who’s your favorite cartoon character?Does Sasuke Uchiha count????

72. What’s the first song that comes to your mind while reading this and why?Concrete because I’m listening to it.

74. What would you like to be the first dance song at your wedding?twenty one pilots’ cover of Can’t Help Falling In Love.

75. Have you ever been told you look like a famous person, if so, who?Nope. Never.

76. What’s one thing you can not live without?My phone. It has everything i need on it.

77. What is the most selfless thing you have ever done for someone?I literally have no idea.

78. Are you a girly girl?Fam, I’m barely a girl half the time.

79. What color is your bed?My sheets are brown, but my quilt is mainly red.

80. Do you prefer light or dark haired guys?I prefer no guys.

81. Are you currently frustrated with a boy?I’m constantly frustrated with their existence.

82. Do you have a best friend?Like two or three.

82. What song makes you cry the most?SECOND & SEBRING

83. What’s the funniest film you’ve ever seen?I have no idea tbh. I don’t watch many movies.

84. What’s something crazy that you’ve always wanted to do?Lowkey wanna skydive, but terrified of heights.

85. Has anything ever happened to you that you just can’t forgive?My existence.

86. Ever been really drunk?Almost every weekend.

87. Is there any type of rumor going around about you?That would require people knowing and caring about me.

89. Have you ever felt ashamed about something? If so what was it & why? Everything I’ve ever said and done.

90. Do you keep a journal? If so what mostly goes in it? Random thoughts, feelings, stories?That’s what my Tumblr is for.

91. Do you like somebody?Yes. So fucking much. I think I’m dying.

92. Craziest shit ever done?Left town in the middle of the night with friends without telling anyone?

93. What’s the saddest story/one that’s touched you the most that you’ve ever heard on the news?I dunno. I don’t really watch the news.

94. If you were told you were going to have 3 daughters, what would you want to name them?Nixie, Valor, Elliott

95. Do you have a middle name and if so, what is it?Ugh. Yeah. It’s Marie.

96. Are you in a relationship?Nope, but I sure wish.

97. Do you enjoy drama?When I’m not involved.

98. Are you a virgin?Sure as hell am.

99. Are you short or tall?Short af, fam.

100. Do you have siblings? If so, what are their names and how old are they? Andres - 31Olivia - 26Ariana - 18Jacob - 17

[his-naughty-little-kitten]

On SebaCiel and other things

I am greatly surprised that nobody had written about this before. To be honest, I'm even more surprised at how some SebaCiel shippers simply take the blame when they are called pedophiles, rape apologists, and abuse supporters. So I thought it was time already to clarify some misconceptions that those antis have burned so strongly in their own minds.

1.- So we are all pedophiles...

 pedophile

[ped-uh-fahyl or, esp. British, pee-duh-]

noun, Psychiatry.

An adult who is sexually attracted to young children.

I always find this one very funny. They think we are all attracted so children! Oh, my god... Let me tell you something, this one is even funnier when those who say it then ship Ciel with someone else too, be it Lizzy, an OC or any other character. Because, you know, Ciel is the problematic part of this argument.

Of course, everybody has their own favorite character, but when it comes to the SebaCiel shippers, what is it that they find so appealing about the ship? I understand I cannot answer this in the name of the whole fandom, but I think a good part of it will agree on the following; we do not fantasize about Ciel.

I am not going to argue about how SebaCiel is not ilegal, problematic or immoral in it's most pure form, because everybody knows that already. Any normal person with some common sense as well as the ones who, like me, study law, are well aware that underaged girls and boys date older men rather often, that love is not regulated or penalized and that child abuse is only a crime when there is a sexual behavior. Liking someone, regardless of the age, is not a crime unless you act on it.

So I am going to skip the introduction and go right to the problematic point; yes, there are a lot of SebaCiel supporters who ship it sexually, me among them. Does this mean that they're all depraved old men who hoard child porn on their computer and jerk off to it? Who knows. Maybe some do, maybe some don't, maybe some Cielizzy fans do, since they ship children too. But the point is, what's the profile (from a statistical point of view) of the average SebaCiel shipper?

We know the majority of the Kuroshitsuji fandom is female. We know that based on GFantasy (Kuroshitsuji publishing magazine) surveys as well as the author's word, and it can be easily proved. We also know that a big part of the readers' ages range from 14 to twenty-something, which can also be proved through GFantasy surveys, or simply checking around the profiles of the Kuroshitsuji bloggers. This gives us an idea of what kind of age and gender the shippers might be, as well as probably reject the dirty old man's theory. But, how is this relevant to the topic at all? A twenty-something young woman can't be a pedophile? Well, yes, she can. But it is unusual, again from a statistical point of view. But then, why do they ship it? And to answer this I have to travel back in time to the not so ancient times in which I was still an underaged high schooler who was starting to get into the series. A time in which many of my female classmates were all crazy over certain male teacher in his forties (yes, you read well, forties) and my best friend couldn't stop talking about her favorite male idol, who was at the very least ten years older than her. I don't know whether you find this shocking or not, but through my experience I was realizing the already well documented fact which is that young women tend to find older men more appealing. But this doesn't have anything to do with shipping, or even with Kuroshitsuji, does it?

Those who are into the yaoi/bl fandom are probably getting my point already. And this is because the japanese bl genre, which is in fact aimed at women, often uses feminine males as protagonists, so a female reader can relate, unlike the real gay erotica, which uses manlier characters, and similarly to the hetero erotica in which the heroine often represents the reader's ambitions. And I'm sure that you've guessed who the more feminine part of the SebaCiel ship is. Ciel is the perfect heroine. He's beautiful, domineering, hard to get, dresses cutely and has the hottest guy ever all to himself. So, do we find Ciel appealing? Yes, of course. He's a well written character with good looks and innate sexyness. Do we fantasize? For sure. Any woman dreams about putting on that lacy lingerie, knee-high stockings and stilettos just like him and seduce their man. But, is he arousing? Hmm... No. Or at least, not without Sebastian.

I don't know whether or not Cielizzy shippers (and other Ciel shippers) write smut, and to be honest I really don't want to know, but if there's something twisted in a handsome man getting it on with an underaged yet highly sexualized, borderline crossdresser boy in high-heeled boots, there must be something equally sick in an underaged girl getting it on with that very same boy.

And then why do we ship it? Because we like little children getting naked? No. Because we like older, handsome, dark, devilishly seductive, adult men getting naked, and we don't like to see them snatched away from us by some other woman, fictional or not. And since Ciel retains that feminine, yet not quite female appeal, he's the perfect match for the true object of our fantasies. And for that reason, I don't think that SebaCiel shippers are any more pedophilic than the rest of Ciel x (?) shippers.

2.- ... And we also promote child abuse...

 Rivers of ink have been spilled on this topic. By both parts. On how Ciel is or is not a child, the nature and requirements of consent, what and what not was child abuse in victorian era and how it translates into the contemporary world... I'm not in the mood to repeat all the arguments that have been given. Instead, I'm putting the canon universe aside and talk solely of the nature of law that, I'm aware, is very different in my country and the US.

First and foremost, in my country, sexual activities of any kind aren't considered child abuse when the underaged partner is older than 13, unless the teenager has been deceived to give his consent. Which means that it is licit as long as it is consensual, and promoting a licit act is, once again, not illegal. I am not breaking any law.

But then, what about morals? Yes, I've read a lot of posts of morality and immorality regarding this topic. It is funny how those who believe to be more righteous talk about morality as if they held the ultimate truth. But let me tell you what my college professors, magistrates and connossieurs of law think of "morals"; nothing. And with this, I'm not saying that morality is useless, or that it shouldn't taken into account, simply that 1. Law doesn't always reflect morality. That your laws forbids adults to have sex with consenting teenagers doesn't mean it is immoral. I could as well argue how I find limiting someone's freedom of choice regarding their deepest intimacy to be far more immoral and against the very human nature. And 2. Every single person has different morals. Morality is an opinion. No human holds the absolute truth. What is considered immoral has changed through the ages and it will keep changing with humanity. So be humble, and never attempt to force your view of things into anyone else.

And on a side note, I have a constitutional right to voice mi opinion and promote my ideas, regardless of how immoral, and the attempt to stop me through coercion, including bashing, insulting and shaming, is indeed a crime, so most of the antis are actually breaking the law, not the shippers. So yes, if my crime is doing what I am allowed to do, then I plead guilty. Guilty of being an apologist of freedom, of opinion, and of course, of shipping! :D

 3.- And then they say we romanticize abusive relationships...?

This is yet another interesting point, and from here we leave the boring world of law and come back to Kuroshitsuji! <3

So, after seeing that shipping SebaCiel is not illegal nor immoral, we can discuss whether or not it is abuse. It is not child abuse in canon, as age of consent was only for male/female relationships, male/male being an entirely different thing that they called sodomy and didn't have anything to do with age, as well as the fact that Ciel was given his title at the age of 11 in an official ceremony, obtaining the status of head of the family which equals to adulthood to all legal circumstances. Yet someone could argue that a demon from hell could as well coerce a little boy into something lascivious, couldn't he? That he could force, hurt and otherwise violate his consent. It is not hard to believe but, does their relationship work like that? I don't think so.

An abusive relationship is "a pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner. Abuse can be emotional, financial, sexual or physical and can include threats, isolation, and intimidation."

This doesn't sound much like SebaCiel to me, no matter how many times I read it. I truly can't recall a single situation in which any of the things in that list took place. I do, however, notice a strong power-play in which the two of them struggle to maintain control over one another. But, to what extent is it dangerous? It is kind of obvious that for Sebastian is not dangerous at all, so one could make the mistake of believing that Ciel is the weak part. And I wonder if they realized that Ciel is the Master, the owner, the dom, the one handling the riding crop, binding the demon to his will. There's no argument about consent, because what he doesn't like he can stop it with a single order, restrain the demon, make him kneel. And yes, the demon could break the contract, set himself free and take the boy forcefully. But he doesn't, because he loves it. The proud, beautiful and foolish human who doesn't surrender to him.

Of course, this is open to character interpretation, but I think the power-play in Kuroshitsuji is very strong, as well as the subjacent bdsm undertones and themes that we have seen so many times in cover art and official illustrations, as well as in Yana's previous yaoi works. I wanted to point out these themes because a relationship based on dominance/submission is not the same as an abusive relationship, and once again it is all about consent and the sub's power to stop it at any time.

 And with this, I'd like to put an end this long review, as well as to agree with some anti's last popular point, which is that fiction affects reality. It really does, so enjoy it as much as you can, and learn from it all the things you might not experience in real life. Immerse yourself in a good story, make research, be critical, ship as much as you want and never, ever let anyone exert any kind of censorship on what you can read, watch, like or ship. ;)

[theanimewarren]

Top 25 Anime Series - 2017 Edition

Oh man, I can't believe I actually managed to come up with this damn list. There are so many changes to my previous top 25 list, it's almost scary. But I promised I would for my dear friend, Doaks as part of the celebration of his finishing his 100 top 10 lists (see his post here https://kitsu.io/posts/8688917 ), so I really dove in and gave it my all to come up with the list. Hopefully I'll be able to explain why I placed the shows on the list in a way that makes sense as well.

I do have to say that that I couldn't actually narrow my list down to 25 though. I got it down to 35 by some miracle. Once I had that ordered the way I liked it, I decided to take the remaining 10, pick 5 of them that made decent talking points and listed them as honorable mentions to the list. I'll be going through those first, then proceeding on to the true meat of the dish, my top 25 anime series! So let's get on with it!

The Honorable Mentions:

5. Bunny Drop/Sweetness and Lightning/Aishiteruze Baby/Listen to Me, Girls. I Am Your Father/etc.

This is the only time on this list that I am going to cite several shows that are not all part of a single series, but I honestly couldn't pick just one of them to represent this topic. Suffice it to say though, I really enjoy these series that deal with the single parent role to a small child. Most of my examples deal with a teenager or young adult in the role, but it doesn't have to be that way. Sweetness and Lightning and Bunny Drop have the parent role filled by someone who is old enough to know better for instance. They all share the same sort of storyline thread though, seeing the ups and downs of parenting from both sides of the relationship and how bonds form and grow as time goes on. You could probably lump Barakamon in with these as well, though Handa-sensei doesn't quite fit the role of legal guardian, but there is still a lot of the same sort of storytelling involved. Poco's Udon World would also fit here, just with that added supernatural element. But yeah, I really love these shows, but alas, not nearly as much as the ones that made the final list.

4. Yoru no Yatterman

https://kitsu.io/anime/yoru-no-yatterman

We've long since gotten used to the concept of a reboot. At least once a year, it seems, there's a new anime reboot of some old series. I'm sure that in Japan, there are actually a fair number of people who either remember the original shows or know about them because they're parents were raised on them, or had a soft spot for them. For us westerners though, this is not always the case. You might get a few of us who happen to stumble across an old show like Time Bokan or Gatchaman, but how many really delve into them? I love older anime and even I'm not well versed in the more obscure series beyond about the mid-90's. That being said, I did make an effort to get some information about Yatterman and the various other characters involved in the Time Bokan universe (it probably has a far better name but I don't know it offhand). Now, why did I do this? Because this series did such a good job of making me want to relive these characters. I knew it was a reboot of sorts, but I didn't know the characters. I could tell it was a total love letter to them and the shows they were from though. If I had grown up with it, I'd probably be in tears of joy the whole time for the wonderful job they did, from many returning characters and set pieces to even the simplest subtle nods left here and there in the show. I loved this show for that. It's not often you can get a sense of nostalgia from something you couldn't possibly have proper nostalgia for, but Yoru no Yatterman did it, and I applaud it for that.

3. Strawberry Panic

https://kitsu.io/anime/strawberry-panic

So, anyone who's spent some time with anime is probably at least somewhat familiar with Yuri. It's not a hard thing to find though. The basic idea has been bastardized for use in many a harem series or comedy series for the laughs. But how many of us know the difference between that and the more proper, pure form of Yuri? Probably more than I'd expect, but still, it's a huge difference that I wasn't totally aware of before I watched Strawberry Panic. I'm very glad I did though. While I'm sure the very idea of Yuri, even in this form, would unsettle many westerners, I found the whole idea very captivating to watch. It was so pure and innocent, and yet it stirred emotions in me that I never thought I'd feel from a show that I thought would be a step below softcore lesbians before I watched it. Boy, was I wrong. This show opened my eyes to yet another facet of anime that that I really need to explore more.

2. Tokyo Magnitude 8.0

https://kitsu.io/anime/tokyo-magnitude-8-0

This is a series unlike anything else I think I've ever seen. I mean, we've had many a disaster movie made in the west. They tend to be either super cheesy summer flicks as far as I've ever seen, though I'm sure there are some decent ones out there. In anime though, I don't know that I've ever seen anything quite like Tokyo Magnitude 8.0. The premise alone is pretty bold coming from a country that is quite possibly one of the most active in the world when it comes to earthquakes. All the same though, there is just something amazing about the execution of the whole story. It's sensationalized a bit, but overall it's a great lesson in the kinds of things you might expect in a huge disaster, and it does that while still telling a powerful and moving story at the same time.

1. The Pilot's Love Song

https://kitsu.io/anime/toaru-hikuushi-e-no-koiuta

For myself, this is one of the more shocking entries on my entire list. When this series ended, I was so pissed off. I have stated many times how much I hated this show for how it ended. But I've reflected on it a bit since then, and you know what? I like it. I mean, yes, the ending is a terrible cliffhanger that never got resolved and there is a bit of the plot near the end that's kinda disappointing as well. The journey to get there though. That is something I enjoyed a lot. The world was also quite cool as an experience, and I wish I could have more of it. Oh, and while I won't delve into this big time, I do appreciate any series that isn't afraid to kill off cast members in a meaningful way, and for a purpose. So yeah, in a lot of ways, This is actually a really great show. The only reason it didn't make the top 25 really is the way we were shafted out of an ending.

Alright. Now that we're past the honorable mentions, it's time, for the shows that I love more than any others. The shows that make me happy, keep me entertained and generally could be the only shows I ever needed if I was stuck on a desert island. Here, are my top 25 anime series!

Top 25:

25. Taisho Baseball Girls

https://kitsu.io/anime/taishou-yakyuu-musume

Considering how highly I spoke of some of the shows in the honorable mentions, seeing this show here is probably quite a surprise to some of you. To that, all I can say is that this show gave me many things that I enjoy just by themselves, but all together in one package.

Sports series. Check.

Moe cast. Check.

Historical setting. Check.

Decent comedy backed by a good story. Check.

All around, it just pleased me in so many ways to watch this. It does feel like the moe edition of “A League of Our Own” at times, but for me this isn't a bad thing. Watching our two initial leads build a female baseball team at a time when so many things were changing in the world, let alone, Japan was just inspiring on a certain level. Add to that the fact that this series has all the proper staples of a sports series without being so long it's hard to watch, and I'm hooked. Both times that I've sat through this series, I've very quickly marathoned through it because I just can't stop once I've started. That's how good it is for me.

24. Mitsudomoe

https://kitsu.io/anime/mitsudomoe

Now, I love me some comedy. But like anyone, my tastes in comedy can be hit or miss at times. I've dropped more than a couple shows where I just didn't get the joke. But when I do get the joke, oh man, it's all over. I'm sure this will be a running theme through this list, but there is one thing I can say about Mitsudomoe that I can't say about any other show on here. Never have I laughed so hard watching anime, and in every episode too. I'm talking big, laugh out loud, in tears and bawling from how funny things get. For some, the humor can surely be low-brow, even sick and disgusting at times, but not me. I just laughed my ass off and moved on to the next episode ready for more.

23. YuruYuri

https://kitsu.io/anime/yuru-yuri

I honestly almost took this off the list entirely. But then I thought back to why I kept up with this show as the OVAs and third season came out. While this series does pander to the less proper Yuri I mentioned above, it's not nearly as bad as some series I've watched. I almost feel like it's the missing link between the two camps of Yuri. It lacks that pure and innocent side, but it doesn't have the overly sexualized side to the degree that we usually see either. It mostly uses it for heartfelt moments or comedic effect, which is a lot more fun to watch. Also, the cast is just brilliant, the OP is catchy as all hell in most seasons and the animation looks great, even to the point where I didn't notice the studio change.

22. Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai!

https://kitsu.io/anime/chuunibyou-demo-koi-ga-shitai

Okay, simple answer to why I like this series. Because I was Rikka and Yuuta as a teenager. Not to that degree, of course, but I can relate to what it's like to want to be something you aren't and to live in my own world rather than face the harsh realities around me. Now if only I had been able to turn mine into a halfway decent harem in the process, hehe. But yeah, beyond that, I just love the way this series executes it's approach to these delusions, both from a story standpoint and from a visual standpoint. Showing us the world as it really is and as Rikka see's it was a wonderful touch and it still pleases me when I think about it. Also, the whole thing about how sweet and innocent the relationships in the seres were portrayed was just great. I know a lot of fans felt the series didn't pay off in the end. I, on the other hand, fell it went exactly where it should have given the personality traits of the characters involved.

21. Shiki

https://kitsu.io/anime/shiki

So, let's analyze this series for a second. It's about vampires, sorta. It holds a lot of the common tropes we all know to be true of vampire stories. But it does avoid some of them and change others to suit it's needs. It also makes sure that, while it's a very dark and depressing series, that has plenty of very bright and flashy elements to it to catch the eye, most notably, the truly unique hairstyles of townsfolk. These two things would probably send any hardcore fan of vampires running away long before the series can sink it's teeth into them. For those that look beyond these two things though, this is probably one of the better vampire stories out there, period. It retains so much of it's gothic roots while making sure it stays modern and original, creating this perfect blend of suspense and horror that even I, someone who is not usually a fan of said things, can be drawn in. Also, that first OP is just awesome, and the sole reason I'm slowly becoming a huge fan of Buck-Tick.

20. Space Dandy

https://kitsu.io/anime/space-dandy

This show has so many things for so many people in it that your enjoyment is pretty dependent on how many of those things click with you. For myself, there was only really one episode that didn't click with me, and even then I saw it as a bit of a spoof on things like it, so I wasn't too bored. Dandy just does so much right and checked so many boxes for me that to list all the reasons why I loved this series would be like writing a term paper, and I sure ain't doing that right now. Let's just say I love it for the boobies and be done with it, okay?

19. My Daddy Long Legs

https://kitsu.io/anime/my-daddy-long-legs

Anyone who knows me, knows my big passions outside of anime are music and reading. Music we'll touch on later. For now though, let's talk about books. Specifically, let's talk about classic literature. I'm sure anyone reading this has at some point taken a class where they had to read some old classic like Tom Sawyer or Little Women or something. Well, there's an anime version of quite a few of these classics held in a series known as World Masterpiece Theater. Now, I personally love these series, having seen a few of them now. They do a great job of presenting classics that I may or may not have read in a way that is entertaining while not taking too much away from the original story (usually). For myself, I've oddly found that I got the most enjoyment out of the ones from books I've never heard of or have very little passing knowledge of. My Daddy Long Legs is a book I've since picked up and enjoyed because of this series. I will say they changed a lot of details for reasons I'm not too clear on, but nonetheless, the series is very enjoyable and one I would definitely watch again. Judy is a great lead character and all the stuff she goes through to get where she does by the end is just inspiring. And on top of all that, this series got me to go out and buy the book it's based on. I can't say that for any other anime I've watched (not counting manga and light novel adaptations of course).

18. Nanaka 6/17

https://kitsu.io/anime/nanaka-6-17

I don't think I've ever thought so much about my own childhood as I did after watching this. It just amazed me. To have all the things I didn't know I'd forgotten pointed out in a very simple way like that was a life lesson I didn't see coming, and I love this series for that. Before, I would always have a reason to justify my doing something of importance to me. I can't just go buy a mandolin and attempt to learn to play it because it might be fun. There has to be a reason that sounds mature and responsible, right? Wrong. This show managed to remind me that there are times when it's okay, and possibly even the better option, to think more like a kid than an adult. The whole thing is done in such an adorable way too. I honestly felt for Nanaka through the whole series, watching her struggle with concepts that would boggle any kid if they were thrown into them, all while making the adults around her realize that they might be looking at it all wrong in the process.

17. Romeo no Aoi Sora

https://kitsu.io/anime/romeo-no-aoi-sora

And we're back with more World Masterpiece Theater action. This time it's a book I knew nothing about before I watched this, and one I'm realizing now that I never did get around to buying afterwards. I really must fix that. But yeah, I can say that I had a great time watching such a powerful story, with a great cast and a well executed ending. It was also a nice mini-group watch so there is that bit of fun to make sure this series sits up there as something memorable for me and the other two involved. There's just something that can't beat watching a series with some good friends.

16. Azumanga Daioh

https://kitsu.io/anime/azumanga-daioh

We'll surely be hearing about comedy a couple more times on this list. This one is a pretty charming series to watch though, and ranks with only a handful of other series where I've read the source material, I enjoyed it so much. I think what got me here is just how off the wall the comedy can be at times. The teachers are just nuts, but the students all have their own, err, quirks about them as well. It just all works out to this brand of insanity that draws you in with one thing and keeps you there with a dozen more. I also have to give it credit for being a 4-koma manga adaptation that doesn't feel like a ton of short comics tied together, while still being very true to the manga. It's weird how it pulled that off.

15. Macross 7

https://kitsu.io/anime/macross-7

Remember how I said we'd get back to music later. Well, here we are. I love music, so what better way to keep my attention than to base a series around the idea that music can stop evil and save the universe. And while I really want to acknowledge the entire Macross franchise here, I have to give special kudos to Macross 7, almost solely because it has the best soundtrack of the franchise, and a soundtrack in the top 5 of all anime I've ever seen. The tracks just rock, and fit well into the story as a whole. So well in fact, that one of the better tracks (in my opinion of course) has shown up in every Macross iteration since. I may be wrong, but I'm not sure anything from the original TV series managed to do that. Just a track from the movie, Do You Remember Love? (someone will surely prove me wrong on this, right?)

14. Super Sonico

https://kitsu.io/anime/super-sonico-the-animation

This is not on the list because of mindless T and A. This is on the list because it was the most unexpected slice of life miracle I've ever seen. Because it had a decent soundtrack. Because it devoted an entire episode to her pet cats. Because it knows how to take a character that looks like the ultimate fan-boy wet dream and make that one of the last things to cross your mind while watching it. Oh, and also because it has one of the best Christmas episodes in anime. If you haven't watched it because you think it's all about the fan-service, go watch it. If you still think I'm wrong, we can discuss it, but I think Episode 7 will be my winning card. Never have I been more surprised by the content of an episode than when that episode aired.

13. Steins;Gate

https://kitsu.io/anime/steins-gate

Time travel stories always fascinate me. If they're done especially well, I love them even more. While not the best time travel story I've ever come across (go read Tim Powers' novel, The Anubus Gates if you're curious), Steins;Gate is certainly very near the top of the list. With a very engaging cast and the kind of drama that I wish was present in any of the other series linked by the errant semicolon, I just have to keep coming back to this one. It was also one of my first anime when I really dove into the fandom a few years back and holds a bit of a nostalgia slot in my heart. Oh, and also, that soundtrack is just brilliant.

12. Nodame Cantabile

https://kitsu.io/anime/nodame-cantabile

Ah, Nodame Cantabile. This is actually the most recently watched anime to make this list. I honestly only competed it early this year. This one did so many things right for me though, so it easily made the list. To start, the music selection here is just about perfect for a show revolving around classical music. The choices weren't always super obvious picks, but they didn't get so obscure that a casual viewer would feel lost or bored. It was a mix of well known and not so much so, and being the huge music fanatic that I am, this was perfect. Add to this that Nodame is just so damn charming as a character and that the rest of the cast is so very enjoyable to watch interact, and you have something I could have easily plowed through in a couple of days. It was a real struggle not to fly through, instead really forcing myself to take some time with it. I'm so glad I did though. This show will not be forgotten by me or many that watched it.

11. Galaxy Express 999

https://kitsu.io/anime/galaxy-express-999

Okay, so I haven't actually finished this show yet. In fact, I've been watching it for nearly 3 years now and am only a smidge past the halfway point. So why is it on this list? Because it is that show that I can go to when I don't feel like watching anything else and just enjoy an episode in peace. There is an overarching story to the show, but for the most part, we only see that in the first couple episodes and brief reminders from the cast when something happens to remind us that this is why they are on the Galaxy Express, bound for the planet where Tetsuro can get a mechanical body for free. Otherwise, this show is just a lot of one-off stories, often with morals. This is where my love of the show comes in though (well, that, and the fact that I love Leiji Matsumoto's artistic style). I love these stories. They are not always complex, but they are very often surprising and unexpected, and told so very well. For a show from the late 70's, this one just blows me away sometimes, because I never think of it as a time when we'd get something like this. That's probably my bad western mindset towards animated shows of the time though, and I should be shamed for this. Still, this is a classic and I love it.

10. F

https://kitsu.io/anime/f

I wrote a big review on this series after I watched it, which I will link here.

https://kitsu.io/reviews/13194

The short version though, and why I love it so much, is that this is probably one of the best anime endings I've ever seen. The show is wild at times, and a bit unconventional in how it portrays the sport it's based around, but man, the rivalry between the main characters is just brilliant, and it ends so perfectly. I love it! I only wish this had a better fansub than it does. Someone really needs to fix this.

9. Aria

https://kitsu.io/anime/aria-the-animation

Wait, what!? Aria isn't number 1 anymore? You must be in shock over this if you know me and how long it's held that spot. Well, all I can say is that I really put a lot of thought into this list, and I realized something. I do really love Aria. It's a wonderful series with great stories, some of the best music in anime and a cast to die for. Still, I have 8 other shows that I would more quickly watch if given the choice. It sounds weird saying that, but that's how it is. My tastes have shifted a little and become more clear in the past year or so, and that's what moved Aria down the line. I love it for it's slice of life nature and the calm, peaceful stories it give us. It just doesn't have something else to really grab and hold me like other shows that pair in more drama or comedy, which seems to be where my tastes have gone. Still, I'll recommend this show to anyone that asks if I see it missing from their lists. It's a must watch, like every show in my top 10 (I will back this up if anyone dares question that statement).

8. Emma: A Victorian Romance

https://kitsu.io/anime/eikoku-koi-monogatari-emma

So, I really have a thing for British history and culture. It's one of my other big geek things besides music and anime. So of course, a show that feels like a mangaka tried to be Jane Austin for a while is obviously going to catch my attention. And as you can see, it was really, really good. Romance in anime is a genre unfortunately plagued by unfinished stories and plenty of bad tropes that we're all sick of. Emma takes a different track with it's Victorian romance styles, and I think it does it beautifully. The cast is very enjoyable, the story moves along properly and the romance is a wonderful thing to watch unfold. And of course, it has a proper ending! I also have to give a shout out to this series for great accuracy in historical detail. So many sites of old London town were brought to life here, which was a joy to see.

7. Nichijou

https://kitsu.io/anime/nichijou

And speaking of British culture, well, okay, Nichijou doesn't have any link to it. If ever there was a series that feels like I'm watching an anime rendition of Monty Python's Flying Circus though, this would be it. There are totally random side jokes and stories that go nowhere, jokes that start in one sketch and end up in another one, and a sort of humor that doesn't feel Japanese at all, aside from the setting. Maybe this is why, for the longest time, the only western release of this show was in Australia. Hmm? Anyways, this show makes me happy when I watch it, with much laughter included. The cast is something I can't even begin start praising and the art style is just amazing for a weekly show. If you haven't seen this yet, I dare ask you, “Why not!?”

6. Cross Game

https://kitsu.io/anime/cross-game

Best first episode ever! Simple as that. If you aren't hooked and ready for more by the end of that episode, you might as well hand in your anime fanboy ID card and find a new hobby. Seriously though, this show is just amazing, starting with that first episode, and just building from there. The cast is near perfection, the story is not nearly what you would expect from a sports anime and the culmination of the series just works so well. I honestly could not be more pleased with a show. Also, it has a song for drawing the cat and shows off fan art. How cool is that?

5. Eden of the East

https://kitsu.io/anime/eden-of-the-east

Eden of the East is a show I didn't really think about putting on my favorites for a long time. Then I realized I had been rewatching every year, and enjoying it just as much every time. I don't know exactly why I like it so much. It's just kindof become that show that I have a mood for, put on and have a good time for a couple days. I think it's just a combination of a fun cast and an interesting story with lots of movie references that I actually get. Then again, this could be another case of a series that I watched early on in my return to anime and it holds some nostalgic value. Either way, I think it's great.

4. Yawara!

https://kitsu.io/anime/yawara

I'm sure most would not pick this as their series of choice from Naoki Urasawa, but dammit, it's so good! And I don't even like Judo. But then I watched Yawara and found it to be the most interesting sport for a few months. Then again, this series isn't just here for making me like a sport I knew nothing about. It's here because it mixes that up with an intriguing romance plot and a great cast of characters that I'll never forget. Also, it did a great job of fleshing out side characters that I honestly didn't expect. It pleased me so much with two particular characters because one deserved the attention and the other grew so much from the bumbling idiot he started out as. It was just amazing to watch.

3. Working!!

https://kitsu.io/anime/working-1

You know those series you relate to because you've been there and done that. Working is that series for me. I mean, my food service jobs were nothing nearly as insane as this series, but I can relate so much to the things that happen at Wagnaria. The cast encompass so many of the types of people that I've dealt with, only with the insanity knob turned to 11. This series also gets a nod from me for having some of the catchiest opening themes I've ever seen. Not the best, mind you, but damn if I didn't watch them every freaking time.

2. Maison Ikkoku

https://kitsu.io/anime/maison-ikkoku

Right, now we're in to the really tricky entry for me. I really, really wanted this to be number 1. I loved so much about this series when I watched it. I relate so much to Godai and his struggles, more so than nearly any other anime character I can think of with the possible exception of Anna in When Marnie Was There (but that's a whole other list). I understand what it's like to be in a crappy living situation with people that drive you up the wall on a daily basis with no regard for your personal space. I know the struggles of trying to make it through college. And like a lot of us, I understand the desires love gives us, even when they seem unrealistic and someone else is trying to get the same girl you want (granted, my experience with this one ended up much worse in the end, but yeah). These alone are big reasons why I absolutely love the series. But there's more. The cast is just a joy to watch, from the most annoying characters on up to all of my favorites. There is plenty of off the wall comedy like any good Rumiko Takahashi series, but there is so much heart behind her work, and nowhere else do I see that than in this series. It is the perfect romantic comedy as far as I'm concerned, and a joy to watch through. This is also the only anime, because it's out of print in the west, that I would more than willingly drop the money to buy on DVD (that price currently being well beyond $1000 last I checked). That's how much I love this show. It would be number 1, except that number 1 happens to be...

1. Ichigo Mashimaro

https://kitsu.io/anime/ichigo-mashimaro

Remember way back in the honorable mentions section, how I talked about that whole single parent slice of life subgenre that I love so much? Well, this series is kinda one of those. I mean, not totally since there is some indication that there are parents around. We never see them though, so this show is really all about an older sibling taking care of her younger sister and her friends. Of course, this group of characters works in such a way as to make sure that only the best possible comedy happens whenever possible. I can't even describe the joy it gives me in these moments. The jokes just have me in stitches. But there is an equal amount of heart in the show as well. It still has my absolute favorite Christmas episode ever. For all the jokes in that episode, the innocence it portrays and the care that most of the characters go to to protect that is just a thing of beauty. So yes, I love this show. Often times, it is the show that I drag out first when someone asks for a recommendation, and I've yet to get anything but a good response when said persons finish the show. And if that's not enough to show my love, well then, how about this. This is the only anime that I own twice. I bought a DVD box set back when it was still out of print, and then I bought a copy of the Blurays when Sentai Filmworks picked it up last year. I have not gone to the trouble to do this kind of upgrade for any other series, and probably will not, even though I have many series that I can now upgrade. This is the only one I see a reason to have done so. And believe me, it was so worth it! It feels so great to finally have the OVAs for this series too.

And with that, it looks like we're done. If you made it this far, I really want to thank you for reading all of that (unless you skimmed through it all, then shame on you, I put a lot of work into this and now you hurt my feelings). While this is of course, only my list, I'm feeling brave enough to ask what you guys think? Do you agree with anything? Disagree with a reason better than “It's Shit!” or any other mean spirited remark? Should I do a list like this for movies or OVAs? Whatever it is, I'd love to hear it. So thanks again, and take care!

[itsfinancethings]

In the mid-1960s, Greta Arceneaux was a young mother of two in the midst of a divorce with a low-paying secretarial job and an old house in Los Angeles. Dreaming of a better life for her family, she took out a loan, tore down the aging home and used the land to build a five-unit rental complex that, she hoped, would serve both as a home for her and her children and a ticket to the middle-class.

“I was a clerk with very little means, but a whole lot of guts,” recalls Arceneaux, now 81. Her plan worked. Over the years, income from that modest rental complex enabled Arceneaux to help put her children and grandchildren through college, purchase a separate home for herself, and save for her retirement.

Then the coronavirus pandemic upended it all. When COVID-19 reached U.S. soil, killing tens of thousands of Americans and squeezing the economy, the federal government, states and municipalities issued a raft of rent protections, including months-long eviction moratoriums. While such policies were issued in good faith—they were designed to protect renters who have lost their incomes from losing the roofs over their heads, too—they have leveled a crushing blow to small, independent landlords, like Arceneaux, who rely on a handful of rental units for their livelihoods.

Though the protections are dictated by local officials and vary by area, many are long-term: In the city of Los Angeles, where Arceneaux’s property is, tenants who have been impacted by the virus will have up to 12 months from the end of the city’s emergency declaration to repay their back-rent without late fees. In New York state, eviction protections last until the end of August, and in Pennsylvania, renters are shielded from evictions until mid-July.

For Arceneaux the city’s order has resulted in $15,000 in unpaid rent and $0 in government assistance to help her pay for maintenance expenses and other bills, including her personal mortgage. New California building codes also require her to pay at least $60,000, she says, for earthquake prevention reinforcement in one of her units by the end of the year. “My retirement is going down the tubes because of this,” she says.

The complexity of the broader economic crisis and its impact on renters is not lost on Arceneaux. “I feel sorry for him,” she says, describing one of her tenants who lost his job and stopped paying rent. “He’s caught in a situation just like I am. But why are they throwing me under the bus? Why am I responsible for him?”

Problems with eviction moratorium policies are twofold. First, not all landlords are alike. Large, wealthy real estate firms and development conglomerates don’t control the entire market: In fact, just over half of the U.S. rental supply, about 25.8 million units, are owned by business entities, according to the 2015 American Housing Survey. The other 22.7 million rental units are owned by individuals, who are more likely to own single units, homes and duplexes, and are often called “mom-and-pop” landlords.

The second issue is that while wealthy hedge fund investors and real estate firms, who are represented by powerful Washington lobbyists, will benefit from over $100 billion in tax breaks buried in the $2 trillion CARES Act, mom-and-pop landlords, for the most part get nothing. (The CARES Act tax provisions remove caps on individuals’ and businesses’ ability to write off significant net operating losses, so the benefits go almost entirely to millionaires and billionaires who tend to have the largest balance sheets.)

“I don’t understand how they can come up with all of this financial aid for the homeless, for renters, for agriculture, for big business, for airplanes,” says Arceneaux, who is a black member of the Coalition of Small Rental Property Owners, a California-based advocacy group that mostly represents black and Latinx landlords. “And they’re forgetting about the small mom-and-pop people that have two units or four units and serve such a great need in the community.”

Terri Lacy, a 55-year-old former interior designer with an autoimmune deficiency, says she also feels abandoned. Local and federal government programs seem to be offering bailouts to every other group, while imposing rules that increase the burden on people like her.

When Lacy’s children moved out of the inexpensive condos she purchased to help them start their adult lives in California and Nevada, she converted them into rental units. One tenant paid three-fifths of his rent in April, nothing in May, then moved out mid-month. Lacy says the tenant broke his lease four months early, and left her with unpaid utility bills and holes in the wall. Now she has to rehabilitate the apartment and re-list it while taking care not to contract the very virus that created her rental woes. “Who wants to rent a unit in the middle of the pandemic?” she asks, rhetorically. “Nobody.”

Lacy says another of her tenants has paid partial rent since she was laid off from her Las Vegas waitressing job, but not enough to cover Lacy’s property taxes or homeowners association dues. Without full rent checks coming in, Lacy’s personal savings account has taken a hit. Even if she wanted to evict and re-list, she wouldn’t be able to until after June 30, when Nevada’s eviction moratorium expires.

“Here I am expected to absorb everybody else’s heartaches,” she says, “and nobody’s there to resolve my heartache.”

The mom-and-pop landlords who are able to draw on their own savings to make it through the eviction moratoriums imposed by their local governments may struggle to recoup their losses when it’s all over. It’s unlikely that renters who have struggled to pay rent over the last few months will have lump-sums of cash available when their rent is due, and the job market may continue to be sluggish for months or years. Eviction courts may also be backed up in major metropolitan areas once they finally re-open. And even court rulings that come down in landlords’ favor aren’t absolute: Evicted tenants sometimes get away with not paying their debts by changing bank accounts, ignoring collections agencies, working cash-only jobs, filing for bankruptcy, or fleeing the state.

Those who aren’t able to make ends meet without collecting rent checks are likely to sell, says Jenny Schuetz of the Brookings Metropolitan Policy Program. And that’s bad news for low-income renters. Individual property owners are likely to sell to families who will convert their rentals to personal housing, or to large investment groups—which, in turn, are much more likely to renovate, rebuild, and increase the rent. “I think we are going to see some smaller landlords who have to sell their buildings because they just can’t cover the costs,” Schuetz says. “We know from the Great Recession that the people who can afford to buy real estate in a down market are large-scale investors [who] aren’t necessarily likely to keep rents low in existing buildings.”

The large-scale real estate firms that are left tend to build luxury mega-compounds with amenities such as floor-to-ceiling windows, marble countertops and state-of-the-art fitness studios that cater mostly to upper-middle class and wealthy people: Of the 371,000 new rental units expected to hit the market this year, as much as 80% the supply be part of luxury developments, according to real-estate analytics firm RealPage.

But those luxury offerings were out of reach for millions of Americans even before the virus hit. In 2016, nearly half of all renter households were spending at least 30% of their incomes on rent, according to Harvard’s Joint Center for Housing Studies. Now, with more than 20 million people still out of work, the proportion of people struggling to pay each month is almost certainly higher—especially among lower-income earners, who have disproportionately been affected by recent layoffs. While only 13% of people in households who made over $100,000 experienced employment disruption in March, 39% of working individuals in households with annual incomes less than $40,000 were laid off or furloughed, according to the Federal Reserve.

As tens of thousands of protesters flood the streets demanding an end to police brutality and systemic racism in the wake of George Floyd’s killing by a Minneapolis police officer in late May, it’s important to note that punting the rent burden to small landlords during this recession could also have a disproportionate effect on people of color if individual landlords abandon their real estate investments in droves. Due in part to discriminatory federal housing policies legal through the 1960s that blocked many people of color from home ownership—and therefore from amassing wealth that could be passed down to the next generation—black and Hispanic households are about twice as likely as white households to rent rather than own their homes, according to Pew Research Center.

A swift and systematic loss of affordable rental units available on the market would especially hurt those with low incomes. Eviction moratoriums aren’t “going to affect people in middle class housing, particularly. They’re paying the rent, their rental units will still be there,” explains Michael Tanner, a senior fellow at the libertarian Cato Institute. “This is for people at the bottom end of the ladder who are going to find it harder to get affordable and habitable housing. They’re going to end up with expensive, lousy housing.”

Harvard Joint Center for Housing Studies research associate Whitney Airgood-Obrycki argues the best solution to the nuanced problem would be the distribution of government-funded direct rental assistance payments that benefit impacted families. “That’s going to protect renter households, and that’s also going to protect small landlords from economic hardship,” she says.

The Democrat-led House of Representatives has already passed a version of this suggestion in its omnibus HEROES Act, which calls for $100 billion in rental assistance to families with incomes below average earnings in their areas. But the measure is moribund in the Republican-led Senate. A version sponsored by Democratic Senator Sherrod Brown has just 37 co-sponsors, none of whom are Republicans.

In the absence of a Congressional compromise, Arceneaux is weighing her options. She’d love to continue to offer affordable rental units to her community, but she has her own bills to pay. In the meantime, real estate firms have already attempted to take advantage of her predicament. Almost daily, she finds notices in her mailbox from prospective buyers expressing interest in the property she’s owned and maintained for over 50 years.

“It’s almost like the vultures are standing around waiting for something to happen,” she says, “so they can pounce.”

[ellenlucasonlinedatingblog]

A Future Without HIV: Are We There Yet?

Jennifer Waugh

The findings of a major eight-year-long HIV study known as the PARTNER2 study have shown that so long as HIV+ partners are being fully treated, there is no chance of passing on HIV to a sexual partner, even with unprotected sex. What does that mean, and where do we stand now that we know this?

Last weekend was huge for HIV research. Literally epic.

The Guardian, CNN and other major news sources reported on the findings of a major eight-year-long HIV study known as the PARTNER2 study. This landmark study followed 1000 male couples where one partner was HIV positive and on antiretroviral (ARV) medication, and one partner was negative for the disease, across fourteen different countries in the United Kingdom.

The study findings showed that when men were adherent to their ARVs (when they took their meds daily and as directed), they became virally suppressed, and had no chance of passing on HIV to their sexual partner, even with unprotected sex. These couples reported engaging in unprotected sex more than 77,000 times collectively without any transmission of the virus.

You heard that right: so long as the HIV+ partners were being fully treated, it was found that there was no chance - zero — of passing on HIV to their sexual partner, even with unprotected sex.

The findings of this study were published in 2018, but the CDC recognized the fact that undetectable viral loads lead to zero HIV transmission in 2017, showing support of the Prevention Access Campaign’s “Undetectable = Untransmittable,” or “U=U." More than eight hundred organizations across one hundred countries have now joined together in support of the U=U campaign. HIV/AIDS has claimed the lives of millions since it was first discovered in 1983, but it seems things may finally be looking up.

This is obviously amazing news. This is also a lot to unpack, though, so let’s talk basics, filling in gaps you might have about HIV or AIDS, treatment, and their history, then let's take a look at the view from here.

What are HIV and AIDS, anyway?

HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) is a disease that attacks the immune system, and which makes anyone who has it more susceptible to other infections that can then cause AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome). A person living with HIV is considered to have AIDS when their CD4 count — the amount of white blood cells in the body — drops below 200 (the normal range is 500-1,500), and they have been diagnosed with what's called an opportunistic infection. Some of the most common opportunistic infections are recurrent pneumonia, toxoplasmosis, hepatitis B and C, and candidiasis (yeast infections or thrush) - though there are many. Basically, because HIV attacks the immune system, which makes it easier to fall seriously ill by another serious infection, and greatly inhibits the body’s ability to fight back. Good CD4 cells are destroyed, and HIV begins creating new copies of the virus.

One big misconception that still exists, thanks in part to stigma and lack of accurate education, is that HIV = AIDS, or even that HIV always leads to AIDS. That’s not true. With advances in research and treatment options, many people with HIV in developed nations now never experience AIDS.

HIV was initially found in 1981 and first called GRID -- Gay-Related Immunodeficiency -- because it was first seen in gay men. This framing unfortunately perpetuated stigma (negative, oftentimes shameful, perception) that still surrounds both gay men and HIV to this day. HIV isn’t just about gay men. It can be transmitted (passed from one person to another) through bodily fluids including blood, semen, vaginal fluids, and breastmilk. Though the virus passes most easily during anal sex (due to the ease with which anal tissue tears, making the act more “risky” for the receptive, or bottom, partner) HIV does not discriminate based on sexuality, gender, or skin color. Contrary to historical stereotypes, statistics show that globally heterosexual women are who experience the highest rates of HIV infection.

In the 1980s and 1990s when treatments were not yet readily available or affordable, hundreds of thousands of gay men had died from AIDS, largely due to homophobia.  In the USA alone, "By 1995, one gay man in nine had been diagnosed with AIDS, one in fifteen had died, and 10% of the 1,600,000 men aged 25-44 who identified as gay had died." Gay men have accounted for more than half (55 percent) of all AIDS deaths since the epidemic’s beginning.

Sensationalized news articles and headlines across the world played a great part in this by demonizing gay men, using terms like “gay plague,” “gay cancer,” and displayed images of tombstones and the Grim Reaper. Heartlessly, HIV and AIDS were viewed by many as a punishment for what they or others considered “amoral behavior,” like sex between men, IV drug use, or sex work. This, combined with existing intense bias against these groups, led to a mass amount of fear, and tremendous silence surrounding the disease. At the height of the AIDS epidemic in the US and beyond, gay men led activist movements criticizing the government’s blind eye and lack of action at such a crucial time, fighting for the Reagan administration to pay attention and to fund research and treatment. It wasn’t until 1986 that President Reagan even mentioned the word AIDS publicly. During this time, HIV was still considered by many to be a death sentence, as affected populations continued to be further marginalized.

Ian Green, Chief Executive of Terrence Higgins Trust, a British charity that provides services relating to sexual health and HIV, was diagnosed with HIV 23 years ago. In a recent interview, Ian, now undetectable, disclosed fears he had when he was diagnosed that many still have today when they test positive for HIV. “The most significant [emotion] at that point in time was how long did I have to live. The other thing that really concerned me for a very long time is am I a risk to other people?” I can only imagine the immense relief that might now be felt by a person living with HIV to learn they are unable to pass it on to anyone else – to not feel as though they are any sort of danger to other people, so contrary to perceptions and experiences of the past.

In the United States, specifically, the population most affected by HIV is still men who have sex with men, accounting for 26,000 new infections each year. Worldwide, though, women represent the majority — 52% — of all adults living with HIV. Though we know anal sex poses the greatest risk of transmission, penis-vaginal intercourse is also a leading cause of transmission worldwide. Similar to the anus, it's easy for the vaginal wall to experience small (usually unnoticeable) tears during intercourse, providing a route for HIV transmission. Vaginal tissue is highly susceptible to any type of infection. Beyond basic physiology, women (including those who don't have vaginas) also remain disproportionately affected by the virus due to vulnerabilities created by social, economic, and cultural status. Gender inequality, as well as intimate partner violence, reinforce harmful power dynamics, both on a personal and systemic scale. In many countries, women face significant barriers to education and healthcare, contributing to a known lack of understanding around pregnancy and HIV.

What about treatment?

HIV treatment medications (ARVs) became available in the late 1980s, starting with the first licensed drug, AZT (of the drug class Nucleoside Analogs), which was initially highly toxic.

Fast forward to the 1990s and a new era of ARVs. Researchers began to realize that one class of drugs was not enough to control CD4 counts, and eventually introduced HAARTs – highly active antiretroviral therapies – made up of combinations of Nucleotide Reverse Transcriptase Inhibitors (NRTIs), Non-nucleoside Reverse Transcriptase Inhibitors (NNRTIs), Protease Inhibitors, Fusion Inhibitors, CCR5 Antagonists, and Integrase Inhibitors. Not only were these treatments (called “cocktails” in early years) numerous - sometimes 20 or more pills a day - but many doctors refused to even treat people living with HIV. Then there’s the fact that even seeing a doctor and paying for these incredibly costly meds meant having health insurance (something many, many people didn’t have), and a plan that would potentially pay thousands upon thousands monthly for treatment.

Through years of advocacy and research, ARVs became more effective in treating the virus, and HIV resource agencies began growing around the world, making it easier for more people to access these medications. Drug trials continued, and researchers found the right combination of these different classes of drugs.

Today, people living with HIV who are connected to treatment can now take as little as one single pill per day as their full treatment. (That one pill contains at least three types of medications, though.) By finding these effective combinations, remaining adherent to one’s ARVs has become much easier than not only remembering to take, but having to swallow, handfuls of pills per day.

This brings us back to the results of the PARTNER2 study and what life looks like for people who receive HIV treatment today.

UNAIDS data from 2018 reported that 21.7 million of the 36.9 million people living with HIV worldwide were receiving treatment in 2017. Their current initiative and goal is 90/90/90: that 90% of people living with HIV will know their status, 90% of those people will be on treatment, and 90% will be virally suppressed. Adherence to treatment is key to suppression of the virus.

Current standards of treatment include taking daily medication and having lab work done every six months prior to checking up with a healthcare provider. Today there are many ARV medications, and doctors choose the best regimen for each individual patient. Typically, after a few months of taking medication (and depending on how long they have been living with the disease untreated), people diagnosed with HIV will have such a small amount of copies of HIV in their blood that they are considered “undetectable.” People achieve viral suppression (a controlled, lowered amount of the virus) when the copies of HIV are less than 200 per milliliter (mL) of blood. This doesn’t mean that a person with an undetectable viral load will test negative for HIV, but during routine labs (which check the CD4 – the level of good white blood cells, and the amount of HIV copies in the blood) their amount is so small that it will not show up on that particular test.

It’s important to note that just because a person achieves undetectable status does not mean they can stop taking medication. If a person begins missing more than 3-4 doses of their ARV per month regularly, their viral load can climb to a detectable value, and they may need to switch medications to get that number back under control.

So, what does this news mean for everyone?

Obviously, the fact that HIV treatment has now been proven to prevent transmission when taken properly is incredible news, and is potentially momentous both for people living with HIV and those of us who have worked or are currently working to prevent it. Researchers have been working hard for decades on the science behind HIV and developing and administering effective treatment.

But what about the people who don’t have access to these medications? In developing nations, poor economy contributes to a lack of healthcare, and the availability of medication to fight HIV. UNAIDS estimates that more than $26.2 billion will be required to combat HIV/AIDS in the year 2020. Treatment is expensive.

Stigma plays — as it always has — another huge role in the ability to receive treatment. Even just being tested for HIV is scary because of fear of judgment and discrimination. In terms of HIV, however, ignorance is not bliss. It is crucial to know one’s status so that treatment can be initiated, and more people will not come in contact with the virus. 73 countries worldwide still consider homosexuality to be a prosecutable offense, sometimes punishable by death: these attitudes and policies obviously keep many people from even getting tested. A key proponent to HIV prevention is education and counseling, but for many, the idea still exists that HIV = gay, and it can be dangerous to discuss either.

There are many other barriers that exist that prevent people from receiving HIV treatment. People of color and those who are low-income are incredibly underserved. Many people do not have access to health insurance or appropriate healthcare. ARVs cost upwards of $3,000 per month without insurance. Even with insurance, lack of education often leads to the inability to understand a diagnosis and other parts of health, and makes it difficult for many marginalized people to communicate their needs with a doctor. What about transportation? Just getting to a doctor’s office or pharmacy is often a task on its own, especially in rural areas or healthcare deserts (areas with no clinics or hospitals). Additionally, housing and food security play their own roles in creating barriers to optimal HIV health. Without a safe place to live, many people lack a safe place to store their medications even if they can get them. Most ARVs need to be taken with food to be absorbed properly: not knowing where your next meal will come from adds another layer to the struggle with adherence.

Luckily, there are many HIV resource agencies to assist people with some of these barriers and help to make access to HIV healthcare easier. In the United States, the AIDS Drug Assistance Program (ADAP - though the name varies by state; for example, this resource is called MIDAP in Michigan) provides free HIV healthcare and HIV medications for people enrolled in the program. This organization even covers undocumented citizens. HIV resource agencies often provide testing, education, counseling, and HIV health management services (including social work, and food, housing, and insurance assistance) for people who are lucky enough to have an organization in their area.

There are also other recent HIV advancements to be excited about. Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) was initially approved by the FDA as a preventative medication from MeetPositives SM Feed 4 http://bit.ly/30bb2qr via IFTTT