#i am a new person after this tbh
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I CAN FIX ANYTHING!
#starkid#hatchetfield#team starkid#ted spankoffski#time bastard#nightmare time#foe art#tbh i am completely aligned with tinky when it comes to ted spankoffski#put that guy in Situations!#see him run! see him jump! see him make the same mistakes or new exciting mistakes!#like honestly. 'the girl i liked moved out before i had the chance to confess so i'll be more confident' is a perfectly fine lesson#for a college-age youngun smdjksjdskjd#then after the first fifteen times he creeped someone out you'd expect him to learn Another lesson! skdjskdjskjdskdj#not this guy tho. refuses to learn anything!#give the bastard's box another shake to see if he maybe grows as a person- oh nope nvm#he had a heel realization in TGWDLM and failed to learn anything from that one too! smdsmdmksjdsjdksmd#stubborn as a goat is ted spankoffski!#fascinating!
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Don’t mind me, just imagining skk with the quotes, “We fell in love with hell,” and, “I wanted to be happy with you,” and lastly, “I endured that hell because of you.”
15-18!skk makes me sick to the stomach. Wrong place, not enough time, right people.
#i have had these quotes in my head for MONTHS#especially cause i have my own little fic in my head lol#and it's where chuuya chases dazai out of the mafia#by becoming the boss#after he found out about. everything tbh#SKK AHHHHHHH#tmrw is the new episode i am not ready#bungou stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#bsd dazai#chuuya nakahara#bsd chuuya#soukoku#bsd soukoku#soukoku angst#writing#quotes#right person not enough time#right person wrong place
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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walked in this morning snd my coworker says You're training today! and I said Oh.
#IM OT GOOD WITH POEPLEEE Eepecially not new people and#the girl im training is quiet And so am i so im like forcing mhself to be kind of outgoing Its torture.#And i also dont know how to..ask people to do things#or tell them to do something#Which is like. almost all of what training is#omfg im only 18 and shy whyy whyyy#well its not too bad actall6 hut inwas really nervous at first but im getting more used to it#but i gave to train people bc im a Team Lead#which means nothing to me except thay i know how to do my job#and a 50 cent pay increase than not being one Wow..!#i wanna sleep so bad#Only. 3 and half more hours after my break ends.#i am glad tho atkeast it is good experience for like.. interacting with people#this job in general has made me a lot better at that and less anxiety aroujd it#but im still a shy and quiet person to begin with#and i say weird things on accident#Its funny tbh hiw often i say something just like. Something that i think is regular and normal#and not suppsed to be a joke or comedic and ppl im talking to start laughing#lile not my intent but if youre happy im happy💗
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I hate living in this world.
#misc#negativity tw#first off i had an argument with a colleague at work#we had to move places for the millionth time in this stupid open space#which already annoyed me#but this guy came at bargained like he always do while i said nothing because it's not like we chooae#and he always does that for actual work because and idk at first i made a snarky comment about now that he got what he wanted he better be#ready to work instead of hiding when somebody ask him to do his job#and he told me he didn't understand the remark#and my hot temper that makes me snap every five years took over#i bet he has by now complaining aboutme like he does about everything#anyway i take hours to calm down (not calm after 4 hours)#I'm also pissed at me cause i can't get emotional without shaking stupidly which makes me look like an hysterical person (i mean sadly i am)#also if there has to have an explanation once my anger is gone tomorrow i will be back on social anxiety mode which is gonna make it worse#all of this reminded me that i need to find a new job for ten thousand reasons#but unfortunately all employers are shit and actually i don't even know what i want to do#and as usual i have no energy for anything because i am still a major piece of shit#then i wanted to relax#made the mistake to open Instagram because I'm also stupid#and i know i don't often talk about politics and stuff#but it's really draining me#i barely or read news just enough to be aware#and honestly its exhausting but I dont want to complain cause Im in a privileged position where i have the chance to be able to 'shut off'#and yes my country and especially this government is sickening me#and like its people too#and also insta is full of pride posts#and i am stupid to read the homophobic and transphobic comments#and genuinely these people alongside racist and islamophobic people really scare the hell out of me#hopefully i don't engage but i shouldn't read anything at all tbh#speaking of pride im spiralling because even tho i kinda identify as aro i feel like a freak and i have nobody to tell me im not
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cosplaying is healing me personally (killing my wallet, also)
#mmmmni love having expensive hobbies HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAAJHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYAA#Tbh for most of my life all i did was draw so like#i get surprised when shit costs stuff#w drawing#esp digital it s kind of like an investment#where u buy one device then after that have fun go crazy#w cosplay it's like . paying up Per character and Per accessory which is Yay#amazing even#and then i picked up cooking#it's consumable so obviously . youd have to buy shit all the time#im just very . i forgot the word. cautious about my money and end up spending it on dumb shit anyway#i am a hoarder at heart#but also deeper inside said heart is just a monkey brain that smiles when yellow color sad when blue color etc#simple minded activities of a person trying to feel something after being numb for a long time#also trying new hobbies because i fear the passion i had for drawing has been spent#i still do it because its what i do best and itd be a waste#but like yeah i kind of hate it sometimes#its cool when it turns out nice then a few hrs later i dont wanna look at it ever againnnnnnnnn#truthfully#i want to restart my brain#maybe itll do better on its 2nd try
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#been stuck in bed for the last 5 days#tried to go outside today#went to a bakery nearby and fell in the middle of the street while crossing it#some people mainy kids going back from school got concerned#they all asked me if im okay#i got up was okay and went back home#and then proceeded to sob because thats the first time in months somebody irl near me cared#my body is aching from the fall#still#and i just realised iv been so exhausted mentally and physically and burnt out i cant function anymore#i thought i would be fine that im just being lazy with the staying in bed#but after my last job fucked me over i think that was the last of any energy i had#honestly ive been crying at least once a day for the last two weeks#usually twice or more times tbh#been crying all day today#i think im just a shell of a human at this point#ive been struggling for the most basic shit in the last 6 months#couldnt find housing still struggling with a job#cant even find a single friend#i keep trying with everything#but its not working#and im beyond exhausted#this new job better treat me like a human and pay me because i dont know if i can take another one of those on#like im unable to do anything make meals take showers you name it#i am absolutely shell of a human#i just want to feel like im able pay for my survival thats all#personal
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I GOT COLDPLAY TICKETS
#which is wild considering that i was driving on the highway at the time#i kept having to pull over on the rumble strip to check my spot in the queue#got kicked out of the waiting room once. app signed me out?? didn't have data for a while in the middle of nowhere.#ended up stabbing randomly at my phone and buying Nice Luxury seats for an absurdly reasonable amount of money#i am VIBRATING#this is also the funniest possible time for me to see coldplay though#i hardly listen to them anymore. i finally retired the tattered viva la vida poster that had been on my wall for a decade#my music taste has moved on to pastures new and considerably more emo#i haven't listened to moon music yet because...uh..tbh i've heard it's not very good and after music of the spheres i didn't expect it to b#BUT this is something i've wanted since i was 15 and in a fit of conscientious pique *didn't even ask my parents*#if i could go see them on the mx tour. didn't even ask!!! as an adult that's wild to me.#they didn't even forbid me!! they almost certainly wouldn't have!! but we had extremely minor plans for that night already and i was like#'i cannot disappoint them'#so instead i sat there and sulked through the minor event!#baffling behavior on my part#but anyway! i have since been thwarted in seeing coldplay for TWELVE YEARS because they just haven't come anywhere near where i'm living#BUT NOW I'M GOING#this is like if most people my age had never gotten to see one direction or something as a teen#that's the level of obsession we're talking about and#also the level of 'mostly this is a gift to a past version of myself but also i will still cry'#personal
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THREE YEARS OF WRITING 🧁 (or close enough!)
Lemme start by saying I am tired. One hater takes enough out of me, I have ADD hypersensitivity, so yeah, still kinda recovering!
I wanted to make this something super happy! And actually on time, but literally, one day later, today some asshole wants to show up in my tumblr inbox and complain? And it was about the old me! So I'm doing it early! I’m here to celebrate my growth! Fuck them! Lol 🖕🎉
They were basically, oh, you’re not Q! You’ve fallen off! No, I’m not! Q is dead! And Q was never truly entirely me! I will always be grateful if she hadn’t taken the first step, I wouldn’t be here, but Q got scared even writing the simple niche of Gon carrying Ki more than once! I still remember that authors note Q wrote apologizing! I wanna laugh at her! Like she owed anyone anything! It was like her fourth fic, I think.
I get her, part of her still lies in me! Like I’m sorry to that person you’re so insecure and pathetic that someone changing and growing into a confident person who writes what she totally likes full on indulgence! Bothers you! She was always in there okie! She was just scared!
Creating Qutie was the first step. And I’m proud of her and how far she’s come! I don’t care anymore if everyone hates me! I know most probs do! I am confident and happy about my presence here! And love that I can speak up without fearing anymore! Realizing I don’t fit! Or belong with the fandom was the best thing that ever happened to me! I don’t forgive the og hater/stalker and made me poof Q, but I am actually thankful to them.
My third year anniversary of writing is coming up on Sept, 4!
And I probs would’ve made a speech about how happy I am and how far I’ve come then too! So consider this that! Except it probs would’ve been 50 tags cuz that’s my style lol 😚
No matter what anyone says I am proud of me!
I love my writing, and I love my fics! It really just is the simple concept of imagining finding an author you like! And then there are tons of works ready for you to read! Even if they're small thingies like mine! I was into GK back in 2012, but I was young and there wasn't any GK really, and plus after CAA I was just depressed there was nothing there for me. So I left! And then 2020 of June I fell back into Gonki!
I watched tons of reactors and got back in, but I couldn't find anything that was my taste fic wise, so I just took a leap of fate, I found maybe one fic of Gon carrying Ki maybe one and billions that I did not like! So I decided to do it for me!
I wanna be with Gonkillu forever! I don't wanna imagine a world where I leave again! But on the chance it ever does happen? Look what I've done for me! I've become that author I would like with tons of fics all ready to read! For me! 90+ will be there if it does happen.
And nothing pleases me more! I do reread my fics as is! But the idea of knowing me of the future should something ever happen has that... it's the best feeling!
And no one will take that from me! When I couldn't find anything I wanted in 2020 I didn't go to writers and go WAHHH WAHH WAHHH DO WHAT I WANT I took action. So no loser anon is gonna stop me. If you liked the old me become her, but I like the new current me more! Who goes full in no fear!
I do wish there was a GK world and I will say stuff like that! Cuz I do wish there was! But I've never gone to a writer and been like dooo this for meee, like!
I put my money where my mouth is and am creating the GK world I want for myself!
Thank you, me! For the three years of writing! Here's to many more!
I’m on a little teeny tiny island by myself! I need a cute flag 🥺 IT HAS TO BE PINK OMG WITH GON CARRYING KI AND KI WEARING A CUTE PINK DRESS AND LITTLE BUNNY EARS 🥺 he’s a little bunny 🐰
#personal#Happy THIRD ANNIVERSARY TO ME! 😚😚😚#It’s a little early! But!#I didn’t wanna make this an authors note tbh! Even though since I blocked the anon they probs can’t see this but!#I am just using my new psued from now on ao3 to get my point across lol anytime someone wants to be rude/leave hate#Besides the death of Q and rebirth of Qutie actually started here!#It feels right to honor how proud I am of her here!#I'm sorry to the few nice anons out there but tbh on both here and ao3 I've decided I'm no longer having them on ever again I was#Yesterday considering maybe after Dec but#Nah
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#here's some of the classics on that list i have beef with btw:#i have tried to read A Confederacy of Dunces several times and it's funny but it's also so cringe and Ignatius is so obnoxious#that i find it too difficult to finish like i just feel depressed and bad for everybody around him too much#i tried reading Infinite Jest like a decade ago and i got like 200 pages in and i remember thinking it felt like#such a slog the entire time because he's just so gd wordy and also i stopped liking DFW after i heard the abuse allegations against him#frankenstein i didnt read that long ago but i just remember finding it so boring for some reason?? i feel i might need to read it again#dracula ngl i feel like im cheating a bit saying ive completely read it because i loved the beginning and then HATED so much of the rest#the characters were just so boring and melodramatic hahaha i just liked the part where jonathan was doing a travel diary#and trapped in the castle tbh and after that i skimmed quite a bit#i almost flipped my shit when i saw ender's game on there because I ALWAYS mix it up with ready player one by ernest cline#which i bought the audiobook of a while back and hated every minute of it i dont think its good at all#but it wasnt that so phew my faith in this list is somewhat restored#i read most of the first game of thrones book and was disappointed tbh maybe because id seen the show already#so i was like 'this feels almost exactly the same except worse?' because i'd been expecting it to give me more depth and insight#into the characters but instead it felt exactly the same and i still didnt love any of the characters enough to feel attached to them#also i am fully aware me not personally liking or vibing with a book doesnt mean it doesnt deserve to be considered great btw#but i think if youre gonna be like me and force yourself to go through a bunch of lists like this very seriously then you also need to just#let yourself be like 'yeah not for me' without feeling too bad about it sometimes too#often times i dont particularly love the classics or 'important books' but at the same time#i still feel like im getting more out of reading them than just grabbing the newest hyped up books that also dont do anything for me#maybe not in a 'wow i loved reading this' way but in like a#'i now have first-hand knowledge of this thing that is so influential / so frequently referenced'#or 'this challenged me and i feel like i did a mental/emotional workout or gave me some new food for thought'#or 'made me more aware of what gaps in my knowledge and reading skills and what my tastes are too'#sort of way...#it really just depends on what you're reading for and why and what you're hoping to get out of it a lot of the time maybe#it's like the homework i give myself to go through these lists that i also intersperse with the stuff i read more just for fun#p
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#man after the season 6 finale and the long ass hiatus i thought i was done with this show#with kr*sten at the helm fox the parent network and the season 6 finale essentially serving as the series finale i thought it was joever#but with abc breathing new life into the show and tim being back (!!!!!) they’ve unfortunately pulled me back in#i still don’t think buddie is happening any time soon (or at all tbh) but this bi buck thing has me hooked sadly#it’s just with everything oliver has said the ep 4 title and tommy’s presence…#things have suddenly gotten very interesting#just when i think i’m out they pull me back in :(#btw i genuinely don’t understand why buddie shippers don’t want buck/tommy lmao#having one half of our pair confirmed to be into guys seems like a good thing?#do people just think it’s gonna happen out of nowhere? lmfao#i for one am super excited about the prospect of buck & tommy#i think there’s very little chance they end up endgame so this can only help us lol#save me bi buck#anyway i’m personally excited about all of this#anyone who isn’t… sounds like a skill issue :/#anyway#ignore me lol
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hi if this isn’t something you prefer answering you can ignore my ask!
so i wanted to know how much stripe reveals your info to people who pay you? through ko fi and all that. what i mean is when someone gives the creator money through ko fi using paypal their name (legal name) is revealed on invoice so does that happen with stripe as well?
i’ve heard with stripe, creators can hide their legal name and use another which shows up on invoices but im unsure if it’s true
hi! I actually had this same concern and did a lot of poking around for how different platforms handle this while setting up my commissions so I will attempt to answer! disclaimer I am just a guy who is bad with technology so there is a chance I am wrong about things ok here’s a readmore attempt click to get Snek’s business knowledge
this is actually the main reason I rly like stripe, you can customize pretty much everything clients will see including how much information about yourself you want to give away- I literally only have 3amsnek as my name in there, it’s just my business name (the Public Details section of settings lets you mess with this as much as you like, it’s under the Business Settings category)
it gives my country & state on some invoices but no further details (I can’t remember if state is mandatory or I clicked on the wrong button somewhere setting it up but I can’t disable it so keep that in mind) (I can change it along with everything else in my info though)
you do need to give Stripe all of your information for legal and payment purposes which can be kinda intimidating to set up but within my account I can customize what name will show up everywhere it shows up, put a different email than the one I signed up with as a customer support email to go at the bottom of receipts, decide specifically how much of my location is shown- idk if this is super clear bc I’m not at all experienced in Business Advice but by my memory/experience it doesn’t even ask for a Firstname Lastname name anywhere that’ll be shown to customers
for the record I’ve never actually used paypal bc my account got nuked within a day of making it and they have simply refused to fix it so I don’t have a direct comparison from personal experience but from my various hours of research trying to put comms together it seemed like paypal will always give everyone involved in the transaction a stupid amount of information about each other and there rly isn’t much to do about it/things can’t be changed ever or at least without huge difficulty and my experience with Stripe has been not that at All,,, it’s been very nice tbh I even found a whole invoices feature that allows international bank transfers as a payment method making a workaround for people who only have paypal & no card
if this is still confusing you can dm me and I’ll send you a picture of my checkout page/invoice/email receipt templates, it rly only shows my profile picture for stripe which I selected and can change (for me it’s the same dragon I use for my ko-fi header) and my business name in big letters at the top to say who you’re paying and then it’s the checkout/payment setup for the client (looks like any other online shopping checkout thing rly) - I haven’t been able to Confirm confirm that this all shows up properly on receipts as I don’t rly have a way to run a test with it with actual payment but it shows you what all the graphics are set to show up as in your account (under Branding in settings, same Business Settings box as Public Details is in) and you can change all of it any time (I do think you can also send blank test receipts to yourself)
hopefully this helps clarify things? at this point of using it for a couple months I would say I’d recommend Stripe- I’ve been rly pleased with it so far, especially with this specific topic :]
#snek asks#anon asks à la snek#If I’m misreading this and you’re asking how much information I can see about clients- full name on the card used and zip code is all I get#(sometimes that’s hard to find with invoices too I’ve noticed)#and tbh I’ve got adhd I can pretty much guarantee if I’ve seen a name you don’t want seen it is Not sticking around in the ol noggin#I’m pretty sure the person receiving the payment Does need to know A Name involved for keeping records & tax purposes#that’s kinda always the case with transactions#but yeah paypal SUCKS about legal names#(< can’t use it at all bc I was still in the middle of getting new ids after changing mine when I made my account so they apparently Still#don’t believe I exist)#if I did misread this. whoops. here is a lot of business information you did not want or need? bon appetit?#but I Think im on the right track#short answer: shockingly little and you can rly customize. everything it’s pretty neat#thank u for thinking I am enough of a Professional Businessman to answer questions im honored hopefully I did not get something very wrong 👍
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GOOD NEWS
JAKE IS LIKELY RETURNING TO THE $5 TIER STREAMS NEXT MONTH
bad news murph is not doing another dm stream in that case (hopeful news it seems he's enjoyed it as much as we have and seems interested in returning at some point)
#naddpod#is that a liveblog i see?#brian murphy#jake hurwitz#i mean i wasnt surprised i didnt get my question answered but i was tryna ask murph in the chat if he'd be interested in doing streams even#after jake comes back#tbh. i wld love another $10 tier thingy#i pay for $10 tier and while i personally Do Believe it's fully worth it for all the perks it comes with as a whole#*tucks hair behind ear* i wouldnt mind..... a lil somethin extra#....look i dont wanna discredit the pricing system esp because the honest truth is i am not great with money and value#however i mainly am comfortable paying $10/month bc 1) ofc it's affordable for me to do but also#2) i personally feel like $5/month for all the short rests/aftershow eps theyve ever done [which is also 4 new ones per month] is a steal#so to me paying 10 bucks feels like 5+ dollars for all the short rests and then the extra bit bein the bonus mixed bag n caldwell's stream#i just think a lil somethin more for the $10 tier compared to the $5 tier wld be neat.....#HOWEVER also i am not tryna shit on them ofc. clearly the perks distribution has been working for them so far#considering theyre one of the most popular patreons??? lol i have no grounds to claim theyre doing it wrong or anything#butijustthinkitwouldbecooltohavemonthlymurphdmstreampluschatmovesabitfastformurphinthe$5tieranywaysoplsconsiderthanks
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Latest problem: Trying to decide if the crumbling white chunks that a bad bite gave me were from a tooth or the crown on that side of my mouth. Ironic timing, though, given that my dentist emailed me to encourage me to schedule an appointment yesterday.
#maybe it was from a filling?#probably either that or the crown tbh- i don't think teeth crumble like that even after they break#still a briefly terrifying moment though#i can feel a slight change to my bite already#am i seriously gonna have to pay another billion dental bills right after i've put in my two weeks.?#(i think i might have a couple new cavities but i don't want to acknowledge them because that means there'll also be ones idk about)#personal#teeth#fml
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truly my last relationship taught me so much. it also instilled in me some things i’m still unlearning. like, how most people won’t get mad if you accidentally fall asleep without saying goodnight (and not replying to messages, because i’m literally asleep), or freak out if you stop replying for like five minutes. like, i couldn’t do anything i enjoyed bc she’d be like ‘um, what fuck are you doing? why aren’t you answering me?!!!’ like relax, i’m literally just showering. it was truly a case of sitting still unless i wanted to upset her. and then i STILL somehow upset her and i never really knew why. but, hey, that relationship ended a long time ago, i should be fine now, right? 😐
#it’s literally been like five years and i still wake up sometimes like ‘oh god i didn’t say goodnight! oh god i didn’t reply back to that#person’s message!’ when said person doesn’t care one bit#it’s just cause that relationship was so crazy that it made ME crazy and i’m beginning to realise that yeah i still carry some shit from it#literally that relationship is the entire reason i’ve been single all this time and why i’m trying to be emotionally mature etc#bc that relationship ending gave me a smack around the head that said something needs to change’#bc the way i was before is the reason i was in that relationship and in that situation in the first place#and that relationship ending and trauma and shit separate from that made me get really romance repulsed for a while#still am sometimes tbh#pretty much permanently in a state of ‘yeah i need look after myself’ for the last five years#and idk when that would open up to me being in a new relationship#idk i really just need to not rush anything with anyone and just take things slow and see where they go#have fun in the meantime#bc my past few relationships have been really intense#especially the last one as i said#and i fully don’t have the time or energy for anything hardcore currently#so if there’s anyone at some point they must be prepared to wait for em and court me like we’re victorian lovers#you must wait three years untill we kiss for the first time bc i truly don’t know the timeframe for when i’d wanna do anything i’ll be#honest imaooooo#but yeah romance is a complicated subject for me#i’m literally a hopeless romantic but the thought of romance lately truly just makes me feel gross#like in theory yeah i wanna kiss someone but in actual practice i’m like get away from me!#idk i’m on the road to bulilding healthy relationships#romantic especially bc i really can’t go back to how i used to be#sorry to disappoint anyone imaoooo#but nah anyways people who want to get close to me and be my friend has to be cool with my boundaries i set up#and sometimes forget about even tho they’re my own boundaries bc i’m silly like that#could do casual stuff but i really don’t think i’m the type for that imao#and even that sets off the same alarms in my head so idk 🤷🏻♀️#gwen rambles#gwenposting
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when I just remembered how excited I was for blades of light and shadow 2 and have no idea what’s going on in the choices fandom anymore
#blades of light and shadow#seriously are we ever getting a second one#it’s been almost three years#I’m an entirely different person now#i don’t know why I still have the app on my phone tbh#haven’t played it in so long#I think I stopped right after open heart finished#opening the app now is like entering a new city#what am I doing I don’t know any of these books#who are these strangers on the page#strange to think at one point this app was my entire life#it was all I thought about#I can’t even remember how old I was when I started playing it. 20?? I can’t remember
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