#i am a greater believer in luck

[quoteyourluck]

"I'm a greater believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it." - Thomas Jefferson

>> Click To Try Your Luck Today

[eowynstwin]

Blackbird, Fly - One

Cowboy Gaz x mail order bride—only, not his. After exchanging letters for half a year with ranching man Hans König, you finally travel out west to marry him. - You stand alone on a train platform, whole life in your hands, ready to promise yourself to a man you’ve yet to meet. - ao3

You step off the train carrying every one of your earthly possessions clutched in both hands. In one a carpetbag, only half-full, and in the other, a stack of letters tied together with string. A paltry summary of a very small life, you thought months ago, but today you only see how much room is left over where happiness might take root.

It began with an ad in the paper—Widowed Ranch Owner Seeking Tender Companionship—and a mailing address to a livestock town out in the west. Hans König described himself as Austrian, unusually tall, and fair lonesome in a big ranch house with no woman to make it a home. He’d immigrated to the United States as a child, married very young, had no children, and was forced to watch his first wife perish to consumption.

After two years of mourning, he said in the paper, he finally accepted that she would not want him to live and die alone. And thus, if there were any kind-hearted lady willing to give an old widower a chance, he would promise to take very good care of her.

You’d replied as fast as you could get your hands on paper and pen. The fourth child and only daughter of a tobacco farmer, you hadn’t much else to occupy yourself with. And truly, you hadn’t expected anything to come of it. Proficient in the written word though you were, there was not much else to recommend you. You brought a tiny dowry, skill with a sewing needle, a general knowledge of plants, and mediocre cooking to the bargaining table; he was horse man tried and tested by the challenges of the frontier.

You were under no illusions that you were the most attractive candidate.

Still, you wrote your letter. Described yourself to him as honestly as you could—neither especially pretty nor particularly accomplished, but told by friends and family to be of gentle demeanor and useful intelligence. Forgave him preemptively if he never responded, and wished him the best of luck in his search for a wife.

You’d nearly fainted dead away when his response had arrived as immediately as the next mail wagon. Hans König had addressed you by name, as intimately as if he’d known you for years, and said,

I was very pleased to receive your letter, Miss, and am terribly excited to correspond with you in the future. Although you write that you cannot imagine yourself an appropriate wife for a man of my experience, I myself cannot imagine what more you must need to be such. While I will not do you the discourtesy of making any promises with only my first letter to you, I will tell you truly that I was glad of your introduction, and hope you will grant me the pleasure of knowing you further.

Your whole family had been so excited for his response that Pa had broken out his fiddle after dinner that night, rejoicing already that his little girl’s future was secure.

What followed was a whirlwind half year of romance over letters sent back and forth so fast that you kept running out of ink for your pen. When you’d related this problem to Hans, he’d sent not only an entire box of lampblack ink, but a new steel pen, blotter, and lap desk on which to write.

There is no greater misfortune I can imagine now than to lose the pleasure of your correspondence, he’d written.

Pa had cried that day. Your mother had drawn you close and kissed your hair, whispering a thankful prayer that her baby was going to be alright.

In every letter, Hans demonstrated himself to be a kind man, thoughtful and patient, and as the relationship between the two of you blossomed, you started to believe it yourself. You had long given up on the possibility of marriage, thinking yourself too old and plain by now to offer much to any man worth marrying.

Now you stand alone on a train platform, whole life in your hands, ready to promise yourself to a man you’ve yet to meet.

There are only a few people milling about the station for you to survey. The surest way to pick Hans out from a crowd, he’d written, was by height. He towered over most people, and expressed hope in an early letter that he would not dwarf you too much.

But as you look around, no one stands out above the rest. In fact, the people here aren’t much different than what you’re used to; their simple dress and slight grubbiness prove them to be working folk, the kind you’d expect in a town like this, stockyards visible from the station. Your kind of people—at least normally.

Anticipating this meeting, you’d put on the best dress you own, a light frock with little printed flowers all over it. Your hair is braided and pinned up as fashionably as you could manage early this morning, and you’d even dabbed a little rouge on your lips for the occasion. As far as you can tell you are the cleanest, best-dressed person in the vicinity, and you notice not a few people openly staring.

The thought would usually make you blanch, but right now you hope it will only help your would-be husband to catch sight of you. You still can’t find him—

“Mrs. König!”

You whip your head in the direction of the call. Relief trickles through you, soothing an anxiety you hadn’t wanted to acknowledge yet, and then you see that stepping onto the platform is the handsomest man you’ve ever laid eyes on.

Dark skin, warm as a summer’s day. Lips soft and full like a peach fresh-picked from the tree. A serious brow over serious eyes.

Strong and lean in build, with a loose, confident swagger in his step. He approaches, his large, long-fingered hands coming to rest on the buckle of his belt as comes to stand before you.

Tall, to be sure.

But not unusually tall.

This cowboy—profession evidenced by the worn state of his attire—is not your intended husband.

Something in you falls at that.

Swiftly you berate yourself for the betrayal. Your Hans is gentle, generous, kind. So what if this man before you is attractive? Marriages must be built on more, and Hans has already given you more. His looks shouldn’t—don’t—matter to you at all.

“Not as of yet,”you reply to the cowboy, “but soon. May I help you, sir?”

He fixes you with an intense gaze. Up close, you see thick, dark lashes framing even darker eyes—the color of which, you realize, is as black as fresh-turned soil.

The smell of humus fills your memory, powerfully earthy and fresh, such that you could be on your hands and knees with your face to the ground right now. You feel the phantom of it between your fingers; rich and cool, like at the start of the planting season before the rains. So dark and fine as to live between the grooves of your fingertips for days.

“I’m Kyle Garrick,” he says, pressing a hand to his chest. “I’m a wrangler for Hans König, miss. He sent me to meet you.”

You blink. The fantasy you’d dreamed up on the train ride—of seeing Hans across the platform, recognizing him instantly, and running into his arms—finally crumbles into dust.

“Oh,” you say.

Kyle Garrick frowns. “You’re disappointed.”

“No!” you exclaim immediately. “No, he must be such a busy man, I couldn’t expect him to drop everything for me.”

The cowboy sucks his lips between his teeth, studying you for a heartbeat, then—“He is busy. Mr. König is finishing preparations for your wedding this evening. That’s why he couldn’t come.”

What disappointment had begun to sprout in your stomach immediately strangles down to the root. Joy surges in your chest like birds taking flight.

“A wedding!”

You didn’t need a wedding, you’d written to him—you were so happy merely to marry him, you couldn’t possibly ask for more. All you needed, you told him, were his hands in yours, promising before God to be your husband for the rest of your lives. You’d meant it, too.

But an actual wedding!

“Biggest the town’s seen in years,” says Kyle Garrick. “Folks haven’t talked about anything else for weeks.”

“Oh!” Then suddenly you despair. “Oh, I’m not dressed at all for a wedding. If I’d known, I would’ve worked on this dress more, I would’ve put my hair up better!”

Kyle surprises you with sudden passion. “You look perfect. You’re the prettiest thing that’s ever come into this train station, miss. This town, even.”

“Oh,” you say again. You flush hot up into the roots of your hair. Embarrassed, you avert your gaze, looking down at his worn roper boots. “I’m not, really. But it’s kind of you to say.”

His hand touches yours, the one holding onto your carpetbag. When you look back up at him, his expression is gentler.

“Mr. König will agree with me,” he says, “I promise.” He eases the handle from your grasp. Up close, he has a comforting smell. Leather, and sweet hay, and campfire smoke.

“You think so?” you ask, tightening your grasp on the letters in your other hand.

He nods. “I do. Now come on—I brought a cart. Let me take you home.”

-

next

[daydreamingleclerc]

i love you, baby; lewis hamilton

after eloping, lewis and his new wife, y/n, share their honeymoon on instagram.

includes; suggestive content, swearing, mentions of an age gap, use of the 🐶 emoji

thanks @landopeaches & @sainzcaleruega for helping me find piccy’s <3 i tried desperately hard to recreate lewis-type captions and got second hand embarrassment.. but the point is. i tried.

lewishamilton ✔️

liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly and 5,234,834 others

lewishamilton couldn't wait any longer to make you my wife. here's to forever, mrs. hamilton 🤍

🙎🏻‍♀️: ynhamilton

view all 2,984,628 comments

mercedesamgf1 congratulations Mr and Mrs Hamilton!

ynhamilton i can't believe it's real. loving you always.

hamiltonthegoat did i miss a few chapters??

ynfanforever they were only engaged for like a month i swear?

ynhamilton yeah... sorry... we eloped <3

georgerussell63 congratulations you two!

serenawilliams you two are so beautiful together. thank you for letting me be a part of your very intimate day.

ynhamilton ✔️

liked by georgerussell63, danielricciardo and 1,083,784 others

ynhamilton mine forever.

🙎🏾‍♂️: lewishamilton

francisca.cgomes you two are too cute!!

ynhamilton you & pierre next bb <3

francisca.cgomes i'd get more luck squeezing blood from a stone

pierregasly you're just as bad as each other

ynandlewisforever the most beautiful pair

charles_leclerc bit blurry

ynhamilton ur a bit blurry

lewishamilton ✔️

liked by natalie_pinkham, susie_wolff, valterribottas and 6,342,836 others

lewishamilton admiring the sunset with you is how i want to spend my nights forever. thank you for being you and thank you for pushing me to be greater every day. i love you so much.

view all 1,843,045 comments

hamiltonslvr i swear they've only been together like... what? two weeks? and she's like what? 26? they're acting like they've been in love for years

ynhamilton lewis and i have been together for three years. i'm twenty eight, neither him nor me are children and we did what was right for us. if you don’t like it, keep it to yourself.

ynandlewisforever mic drop !!

susie_wolff so glad you two are having a great time away!

cullen_angela i'm so happy you two have found peace.

lewishamilton ❤️

danielricciardo could've smiled lewis bro

lewishamilton didn't want to upstage you brother

ynhamilton ✔️

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt and 1,893,945 others

ynhamilton i will never in all my lives, ever get tired of loving you lewishamilton. i thank my lucky stars for you every single day.

view all 843,756 comments

pierregasly so much for keeping the honeymoon PG guys...

ynhamilton you have never kept anything PG in your life

pierregasly false! my name is Pierre Gasly... i keep everything PG

lewishamilton 🐶

roscoelovescoco i miss you mums and dads ☹️

ynhamilton lewis…

lewishamilton what? roscoe misses us baby

dannyshamilton yn must be extremely boring if lewis is commenting on this from roscoes account 😂

ynhamilton lewis is literally playing chess rn and you think IM boring… okay queen stay indenial x

carlossainz55 this is why people think you don’t love lewis 😭😭

ynhamilton i love him in spite of his chess playing habits carlos.

lewishamilton ✔️

liked by susie_wolff, serenawilliams and 4,362,956 others

lewishamilton no matter how many trophies i win, you’re always going to be my favourite.

view all 1,024,728 comments

ynhamilton you heard that folks i am a trophy wife 😌❤️

hamiltonsangels no but… considering the age gap… you literally are a trophy wife 😭

ynhamilton yeah.. my husband is old but that’s okay because he’s got stamina <3

mercedesamgf1 someones trying to beat out george for P1 on thé romantic scale…

lewishamilton ive already put a ring on it and had the wedding… i think i beat georgerussell63 by a mile 😉

valterribottas please ynhamilton don’t discuss lewis’ stamina on a public instagram post

ynhamilton at least i don’t know the average size of a beaver penis. if you don’t like hearing about lewis’ sex stamina, just scroll 😉

valterribottas 🤢🤮

ynhamilton ✔️

liked by carmenmmundt, alex_albon, yukitsunoda15 and 3,283,749 others

ynhamilton he didn’t want me to leave for new york for work, so he came with me and the honeymoon continues ❤️

view all 1,327,839 comments

lewishamilton i just needed to spend a bit more time with my wife before i have to go back home alone, is that a crime?

ynhamilton never ❤️

f1wagcentral why is yn in new york?!

ynhamilton i’m working on a show & rehearsals start on wednesday so i’m living between new york & monaco 😌

thehamiltonsupdates ooh!! what show is it?

ynhamilton 222: a ghost story!! tickets on sale now 😉

francisca.cgomes how long are you away :(

ynhamilton i’m here from april to august <3 come see me bb

lewishamilton kika can wait until i’ve left babygirl

ynhamilton yes sir.

pierregasly yn you should be banned from the internet

[a-land-lacking-sleep]

A brief thought on the parallels of the Subway Bosses, The Tao Trio, and Warden Ingo's place

@waywardstation just made an amazing post on her thoughts of Warden Ingo's parallels to Kyurem. Nothing in the game directly connects the two, just like nothing in the game connects the Subway Bosses to the Dragons in Generation V. But the connections are still there regardless, because Game Freak made sure to fill Unova with so much symbolism.

These are the basic thoughts that connect each Man to their Dragon.

Subway Boss Ingo - Ideals; Aspire to greatness, never give up in your journey

Subway Boss Emmet - Truth; You are who you are, there is no need for a mask

Warden Ingo - Void; What is there when you lose who you are? No drive for greatness, nothing to mask. Ideals, Truths, nothing matters except the ground beneath your feet.

In each game that they appear, Ingo and Emmet are relatively flat characters. In Gen 5, they have enough personality to stick in your mind, and nothing past. And in PLA, Ingo's whole personality is "I lost my memory and am depressed, but have hope". Instead, we end up looking at word choice, and in the Subway Bosses cases, other media.

Subway Boss Ingo, across most media, embodies Ideals. He has his eyes to the future, always pushing himself and others to continue onwards. He frames battling and training as a journey ("What can I see after winning, winning, and winning? Where is my destination?"; "Your talent has brought you to the destination called Victory!"; "There is no terminal called End in your life!"), most often when he is victorious. He seeks to create his Ideal self, and wants to push others to do the same.

This comes up in Pokemon Masters EX as well, where the "no terminal" line returns (in an appropriately spooky tone), he also spends time in the Day With Ingo story event talking about how he seeks to better himself and "break through the mold of [his] past self". This event is also the first time he mentions the phrase "greater heights", which appears another 6 times in various snippets in Masters. And finally, we have a triple whammy of travel metaphors for growth in his level up lines.

For Subway Boss Emmet, his connection to Truth is admittedly a bit more tenuous. He doesn't have any tendency for truth-seeking or investigations (outside of the famous behavior in the manga where he likes to eavesdrop on drama, which gossip isn't exactly truthful), but what he has is a strong showing of being truthful, even if he ends up being blunt or disrespectful.

As a consequence of his writing in Japanese giving him a very casual way of speaking, the English translation has him speak in shorter clips, just the bare essentials. The naked truths of his thoughts. He doesn't seek the Truth, or give a Universal Truth; Emmet is True to himself and to those around him. (As a side note, I love when people give power to other usages of the word True through Reshiram. I did it in my fic with a turn of phrase, but I've seen it done beautifully in other works too).

In Pokemon Special, Emmet doesn't hide the truth of why they asked White to train on the Battle Subway ("We're studying you as an example of a Trainer who gets overwhelmed and loses every battle!" "That's not nice, Emmet."), not because he is intending to be rude (Ok, a little bit), but because that *is* what they are using her for. In the games, he speaks of how Pokemon battles can be decided on luck ("I won against you. But I think I just got lucky."), because the Truth of the matter is, you can be highly trained and just have a bad day or get hit by a critical hit. But, most importantly, he believes that battles must be serious for them to be fun. Because what fun is there in putting up a fake fight, when you could just be True to yourself?

Now, to speak on the connection of Warden Ingo to Kyurem, we must first understand what Kyurem is to Zekrom and Reshiram. On a surface level, it is a Husk, a leftover revenant that can be reassembled into a simulacrum of the Original being. But looking into the actual symbolism of them all is where you find threads of connection to the Warden.

Reshiram, the Dragon of Yin, is representative of a more static element, receptive of change but passive in how it does so. It is a recursive existence that reaches out and pulls back towards itself - Everyone has an individual Truth, but that is still able to be changed by The Truth. However, one does not go out and change The Truth, only altering the perception of it while it passively exists. You cannot change what is already there, only create something new. In comparison, Emmet is never really shown to focus on the future, but rather on the present. He knows of the Truth in his life, and while it can be changed by present actions, he knows that he cannot go back to change it, so there is no need to try, or to hide it.

Zekrom, the Dragon of Yang, is active, ever expanding, and pushes up against those around it in it's search for Ideals. Ideals cause you to seek out a goal, to leave your home, your comfort zone, and push away from the past. To represent Ideals is to be in constant flux; Settling into a form makes you into a Truth, as an Ideal is a goal, something attainable, yet unreachable. We've gone over Ingo's future-forward gaze, constantly thinking about what is to come. Life is a journey, and every step you take in life is a step to self-improvement.

Kyurem is a Husk, a Shell. According to Bulbapedia, it is representative of Wuji ("Without a roof"), the absense of Yin and Yang, or "The Ultimate Nothingness". For this reason, I personally also attribute to it Mu, a concept of non-existence and negative space, specifically the lack of something normally there (modern Japanese actually uses "mu-" as a prefix the same way English has the suffix "-less"). Interestingly, the Japanese transliteration of Wuji is "Mukyoku" (lit. Non-polar, another translation of Wuji), connecting the two concepts neatly. In short, Kyurem represents Nothing and Everything.

Kyurem was supposedly the Original Dragon, the deity of Unova that represented Truths and Ideals in unison, a embodiment of Yin and Yang's harmony. In a sense, the Original Dragon was an embodiment of Everything, Unova's spirit of unity. Then, with the war between the Twin Princes (another pair also frequently compared to Ingo and Emmet, in case you think I forgot my boys), it was split into 2, but secretly 3, parts. This third secret part became Kyurem, a being lacking in its original qualities, leaving Nothing but the Husk.

Now, finally, we can get to everyone's favorite uncle, Warden Ingo. His connection to Kyurem is probably the least intentional of them all (which is saying something, because I'm honestly convinced that the Subway Bosses' own connections aren't intentional, but rather just a result of how Unova games were written with Truth vs. Ideal being ingrained heavily), but there still is one. As Wayward says in her fateful post, "Warden Ingo is an empty husk of who he once was ever since he was separated from his life, and from Emmet." Ingo as the Subway Boss may not have embodies the Everything that the Original Dragon has, but pairing with Emmet so closely still meant that Truth and Ideals mixed so cleanly that it might as well have been Everything.

However, the most important connection for Warden Ingo are the concepts of Wuji and Mu. To be "the Ultimate Nothingness" or "Non-Polar" means to be devoid of Everything, yet still have the capability to be far more than Nothing. The singular concept of Mu may mean that Warden Ingo is missing who he is and was, but that is not who we grow know in the game; We connect with a man who is slowly piecing together his sense of self, remembering facets of his past and growing happier with who he can be. Thus, the Mu transitions into Wuji, a void that isn't Empty so much as lacking.

The importance of distinction is that Mu is by nature Empty, while Wuji is Empty and Everything, limitless and confined. Similarly, Ingo is devoid of what made him him (His drive for self-improvement is impaired, even while he pushes the player to climb to greater heights), but becomes something new in the meta-narrative of the story. His actual, plot-related story ends when you quell Electrode and he becomes a challengeable NPC at the Training Grounds, but he becomes something of a kindred spirit in the greater plot of the game. He's like you, a Faller who has lost themselves, and also like you, an avid battler who pushes the system to it's limits (especially in the Path of Solitude).

In short, the connection between Kyurem and Warden Ingo isn't anything in the text, as Kyurem has no explicit in-game theming attached to it like Zekrom and Reshiram, and Warden Ingo doesn't have strong philosophical points that seeps out of the words he says to you. But when you look at the meta-theming for Kyurem, and subsequently Warden Ingo's meta-narrative, the connections become clearer.

Does some of this make no sense? Of course! A lot of this is extrapolating what was said in Wayward's post, and what came from my head as I thought of it. A lot of the connections of the twins to the Dragons has been discussed since 2010, but for all intents and purposes, Warden Ingo is a different character from Subway Boss Ingo. Narratively, he is the same person, hence why his appearance is a tragedy in Legends Arceus, one which we never get to solve. But on a meta level, he functions so differently, and lives so differently, that the themes he inhabits do not match up to the Subway Boss in any way. To end this on a sad note, Warden Ingo is exactly like Kyurem - Broken. He has lost what made him whole, and we've been shown that just reinserting Ideals isn't enough. Hopefully, if Game Freak decides to touch upon the Warden once more, we can find a way to reinsert his Truths as well.

[intimidatingpuffinstudios]

Progress Update for August 2024

Hey, everyone!

This August has seen some meteoric progress in terms of development LMAO!

Both BtM and TSSW 3 have gotten a lot more content written, with BtM now sitting nicely at 60% completed. But the biggest winner has been TSSW 3.

The game has just come together in a way I didn't even dare hope for. I've written more for it these last two months than I did last year combined.

The plot is coming along in ways that I do not expect, and yet they slot in so perfectly with the narrative that it makes me wonder if my subconscious is the real MVP here.

But aside from the plot, it is the characters who have surprised me most of all. They are showing me who they are in such surprising yet visceral ways that all I can do is simply stand back and stare in awe.

In BtM, Zach and Cy are working relentlessly to realize their goal, their true faces coming through in a manner that might be unsettling to some. And yet, the thing shining through the strongest is their unrelenting, absolute devotion to the MC. All-consuming, breathtaking, and yet…somehow cruel. I just can't wait to show you.

As for TSSW 3, the Stone has simply swept me off my feet and I'm still reeling, gasping, kneeling in worship. This will truly be the book that makes or breaks your relationship with Sielthan, and you'll experience them in a way that even I couldn't imagine. 

When I started this journey, I thought of them as a potential trickster, someone whose intentions you can never be sure of. In TSSW 3, they grabbed me by the throat, looked me straight in the eye and told me, "That's not who I am." And who they truly are has left me breathless.

Another shock has been Manerkol. When I first created the character in my head, his unyielding, relentless drive was his main characteristic. This is a character who doesn't give way, who won't compromise no matter what.

Except, he isn't. Not with his MC. Manerkol took me by the hand and rumbled in my ear, "I don't want to fight anymore." The man who has fought everything and everyone all his life has finally found the one person he doesn't want to fight. The one person he wants to hold instead. He looks at his MC and makes the scariest, most powerful decision he could ever make: he puts his sword down.

When I tell you I was SHOCKED once it dawned on me…. I guess it's not just my characters changing, it's me too.

I will continue to write as passionately as I have the last couple of months, with a greater emphasis on finishing TSSW 3. That will take priority, because I am SO close to finish line. I believe I will be done with main plot/Manerkol/Stone routes by end September.

And then it's the rest of the romances left. 

Wish me luck!

[aoxizu]

i have another 2.1 character dynamic post in the recesses of my brain but i need to get this out first

star rail's 2.1 update main plotline leans a lot more into existentialism and absurdism than i thought it would which is a really nice surprise

like i thought before 2.0 that at most it was just going to be some "oh no capitalism bad ipc bad cults also bad" thing but honestly what we got is so much more interesting. the spoilers start now

also massive disclaimer i am not a philosophist and actually i really don't like philosophy because it makes my brain hurt and i would much rather just look at logical nice things like math and plants so. if i get anything wrong please correct me

acheron's past and how she became an emanator of nihility reminds me somewhat of the absurdist theme of how people always look for meaning when there isn't any, until they finally realize that the universe is meaningless

and the entire path of nihility basically is a road towards that realization that people tread on, and the difference between the real world and star rail is that in the real world here we have people who will see that and then go write a book about a guy not crying at his mother's funeral, whereas in star rail it seems that just accepting that the universe is meaningless turns you into a pathstrider or even emanator of the nihility (not sure if i remember the details, correct me if i'm wrong)

and then aventurine's whole motivation is trying to understand why the universe is so cruel to him, and to find meaning when you have everything except freedom, both of which are absurdist themes

the leap of faith argument often attributed to søren kierkegaard claims that even though there is no rational logic for believing in god, you should do it anyway because the alternatives are madness, suicide, and ignorance. this was one solution to the problem of confronting the universe's meaninglessness: choosing to believe in a higher being regardless

later world wars i and ii both contributed heavily to the rise of absurdism as people returned from the war, having seen so many others die around them, and then just going back to a normal society with none of what they as individual soldiers had contributed seemingly doing anything. and then it happened again, but on a much greater scale with even more deaths. both wars and the destruction they brought led many people to start questioning why a supposedly moral god could allow this suffering, and this is where camus comes in and says that actually religion and nationalism both aren't good solutions, and instead we should just accept meaninglessness and keep living despite the absurdity

and i think dr ratio's scroll thing kind of relates to that

he tells aventurine to open it when he's about to die, or when he's completely out of answers for the question of how to confront absurdity

and dr ratio's answer for aventurine is to just tell him to keep living, good luck

which is. yeah

it's the argument that there are more answers to nihilism than just 1) going insane, 2) pretending like it doesn't exist, and 3) dying

it's the bold claim that despite everything, you can still choose to live

sure nothing makes sense but that does not detract from your life. it doesn't need to make sense at all

and with the understanding that things do not need to fit our human definition of meaning, we can continue on knowing our true place in the universe

and with that aventurine walks into the very big black hole like look at that thing you cannot tell me there is no symbolism there

let's go back to acheron.

in the part where you get a snippet of acheron's conversation with some guy just before this cutscene, the other party states that "[IX] leave[s] woven strands of fate for humans to walk, and together THEY weave a great shadow...And this shadow silently envelops them."

which to me sounds like a statement on how people across time and space have again and again come to the same question, what is the meaning of life?

and acheron's whole color thing seems to mean that she is one of the few who, after walking so far on the path of nihility, somehow have not died yet, be it from madness or something else

like it seems implied that many many more have seen the meaninglessness of the universe and have not reacted as well as acheron has

ok i have more to say about the elation and how it in turn relates to the nihility but that will have to come later but there is. a lot of interesting things there to explore

once again disclaimer: I Am Not A Philosophist And Do Not Know What The Correct Definitions Of These Words I'm Throwing Around Are. thank you for coming to my ted talk that was more of a longwinded ramble

[dawndelion-winery]

Fortune's Blessing

Meeting the God of Luck! Reader

Ft. Capitano(pt.2), Diluc, Dottore(pt.2), Pantalone(pt.2), Zhongli

Part 1

Capitano:

Fortune favours the bold

Or so he's heard, which is why he's once again at your altar, flowers in hand, along with his usual offerings

He takes more time in getting to his requests with each visit ever since you've started entertaining him in person

Terrible, really, the way he stalls, smoothly transitioning between topics the moment he sees you begin to lose interest

He knows there's only so long s mere mortal could hold your attention

Still he tries, adamant to make it work, to leave an impact on you, even if only a fraction of the impact you've had on him

Perhaps it really was time to be bold - what he planned to do would toe the line between courage and foolishness

"What is it you wish me to bless this time, Captain?" You murmur, tilting his chin to have him look at you as he knelt at your feet. He rose, kissing the back of your hand in reverence. Had you been anything but a god, you would have surely melted stthe intensity of his gaze, so steadfast and sure as he looked at you like there was nothing else in the world.

"It is a more...personal endeavour this time, Fortune." You raised an eyebrow at the captain prompting him to continue.

Diluc:

He's never considered himself particularly lucky or unlucky

Nor does he consider himself a devout believer of any god

Like yeah sure, gods exist, good for them, not his problem

Y'all failed him and let his dad die

So his first offering had been more of a formality since you were a friend of their archon and chose to visit their fair land of Mond

It just do happened his wine was the finest you'd tasted, and he found himself in much good fortune over the next few days

It felt odd to him, suddenly having this much good fortune after turning into a recluse

Greater still was his shock when you sat comfortably in his living room when he arrived home

"You are young lord Ragnvindr, yes?" you asked gleefully. "Your offering was received with much gratitude, and I am most regretful to inform you that it has run out."

He blinked a few times as you smiled at him expectantly. "You're...Fortune..." You nodded enthusiastically. "And you...you're asking for more wine?" His question sounded clipped, as though he were weighing the consequences of acquainting himself with yet another alcoholic god.

"Indeed, I took the liberty of installing a small shrine by your cellar for your convenience."

Your words left Diluc sighing, yet he couldn't help the small smile tugging at his lips as you left.

Dottore:

Attention whore.

You thought you were dealing with a genius mad scientist?

Well, technically yes, BUT he is also an attention whore

Why did you not shower him with praise when he showed you the experiments he had used your luck for?

He takes it as your cue to him that he hasn't impressed you sufficiently

Which does make him grumpier

And he's not professional enough to hide it

"Take a look at this, Fortune."

You nodded in response, gingerly lifting the small device from his hands and raising it to the light to observe it. Your face remained impassive since you didn't really understand just what you were looking at, but of course, to Dottore, he'd expect a god to know these things.

"Well?" Dottore tapped his foot impatiently, his gleeful smile fading, slowly replaced by a frustrated scowl when all you comment is that "it's nice". Only nice?

The little office chair he pulled out for you is now carting you off around the lab to look at larger scale projects at speeds it was certainly not designed for.

Pantalone:

It's an investment, as you should know

Except luck is always a gamble, and who's to say his competitors don't worship you as well?

He finds out the hard way that his competitors were, in fact petty enough to come together and pool their offerings to one up his offerings

He does call for a business meeting with you over dinner

Enjoy it? Lovely, he certainly hopes you do

Gives you an ultimatum, in a way, because at the end of the day, he's got more to offer you long term

"Forsake them, Fortune. Whatever it is you want from me, it's yours. Is that not tempting enough of an offer to you?"

He's batting his eyes at you, plastering a pleading expression on his face, but you can tell it's an act. You know full well he'd cope just fine even if you declined, that this was just the most direct way out for him. Yet you found yourself caving for the sly, coy grin that tugged at his lips. So against your better judgement you agree. For a second, you note how serpentine his victorious smirk looks, and he seems to believe he has you trapped in his coils. No matter. It amused you for the time being; and you would continue to humour him for as long as he intrigued you.

Zhongli:

It's been a while since he's met another god who wasn't one of the seven

Heck, it's been ages since he'd even seen the seven, each of them preoccupied with their own affairs

So he's more than obliged to show you around, to accompany you when you visit Liyue

He has no need for luck, just as you have no need for material wealth

It's an odd sort of comfort, not being exalted, and it feels like two ordinary old friends walking along the harbour together

The two of you definitely jokingly exchange gifts as "offerings" and tease each other about your respective abilities

"Do you recall our contract?" Zhongli mused as he fidgeted with a single mora, rolling it between his fingers.

"Which? When you were only known as Morax? Or when you first were revered as Rex Lapis?"

"From our first farewell." You nodded, thinking back to that moment, back when Zhongli had kept his hair more unkempt, and worn the most fitted of shirts, flaunting the geo lines that adorned his arms. Back then, he'd lost Guizhong not long ago, and it was beginning to get lonely as more and more of his friends succumbed to erosion. So he'd proposed a contract, that no matter what, as long as he remained in Liyue, you'd one day return.

"Well, I did return," you hummed. "That you did," he agreed. "And I'd like to propose the same contract when you depart again. Something to look forward whole you're away."

Taglist:@myluvkeiji @aqui-soba @favonius-captain @tiredsleep @raincxtter @gensimping-for-all @irethepotato @almond-adeptus @mx-kamisato @chaosinanutshell @heizours @haliyamori @callmemeelah @sadlonelybagel @plinkuro @thevictoriousmoon @mastering-procrastinating @cxlrose @astrequa @eowinthetraveler @ajaxstar @boundedbyfate @the-lost-anime-dad @moonbyunniee @greyrain23 @heavenlyfloof

Commissioned by @monstersealclubber

[pendarling]

A Proposal

Female Hero, Male Villain

Villain hesitated, his fist just inches away from hitting them. Hero saw a flicker of something unfamiliar, but her foot had already kicked the enemy back.

She quickly stood back up on her feet, her breath coming out in short gasps as she gripped her hands tightly into a ball. He stumbled and crashed into a collection of debris before getting back up.

Something had changed.

She knew he had changed. The way Villain's eyes glared at her came with a ferocity that further deepened their connection. It was an intense gaze, but Hero knew it was also harmless.

Villain smiled coyly, "You're getting confident." He dusted himself off.

"And you're getting distracted."

His jaw clenched, "Just a series of lucky hits."

"Luck shouldn't be this often as of late. What's gotten into you?" She squinted at him, her feet steady under her weight.

He clicked his tongue, hands behind his back as Villain walked slowly up to the ledge of the roof. "I figured perhaps there is something more beneficial here in our interactions, Hero."

She lowered her hands, yet her suspicions did not die down. "What do you mean?"

"I figured it would be wrong to have you eliminated so soon." He turned around, "There is a potential for you that I can help you achieve."

Oh, she was starting to understand now. His respect for her abilities must've made Villain take an allegiance with her. Hero sighed and shook her head, "Just because I am fond of our rivalry doesn't mean I am interested in joining you."

"Well," Villain played with the collar of their suit, "I was referring to an alliance between us only."

She couldn't lie, Hero was flattered that Villain acknowledged her strength. However, the circumstances they were in weren't easy. "I cannot do that, sorry."

"Why not?"

"I have commitments toward my friends, my fans, everyone who believes in me."

"And I believe you are more than ready to go beyond this journey you've taken."

"What about you?" She urged him to answer. Whatever idea he had in mind was interesting to her.

"My proposal to you…" he paused, words hanging in the air. "Doesn't include any of this." Villain waves his hand in the air.

She tilted her head with confusion, "This?"

"This whole business, and association with certain ideologies." He stepped forward, "I have only one goal, my dear. I intend for our agreement to be long and withstand a lifetime." He pointed at her, "you," then at himself, "and I can create something greater than what this is."

"How?" Hero whispered, still lost within his words. The gears in her head were working as fast as they could, but she wasn't entirely sure what he was implying.

"You have something invaluable to me." He stared into her. She held it as his eyes lowered below her chest and to her stomach. Hero's face turned red at the prospect of his idea.

"You mean— a child?" She wrapped her arms around herself, "you want a child from me?"

He tilted his chin down, satisfied with her response. "I'm more than willing to help you become—"

"Is that why you avoid hitting me there?" She asked. It made sense now; he hadn't intended to hurt her if she were to become the future mother of his child.

An image of a family appeared in her head. It wasn't making her ill; the colours were warm and bright.

Villain's hand laid on her shoulder, "Don't be afraid. You're a hero, remember? There is nothing you fear," his hand rubbed her back slowly, and strangely, it was comforting enough for Hero to gather her breath again. Yet, she was so nervous, had he always had this in mind or was it only recent?

She was so shocked that if her head kept spinning, she might topple over. Villain's arm came around her waist as she crashed into him.

"Take your time." He lifted her chin, "I don't mind your rejection, but I do hope you consider this offer."

"A marriage..." She mumbled between her lips, "W-what… what will I gain in return?"

His face lowered, lips closer to hers than expected. "You'll get a fine and loving young man as your husband."

It wasn't as if she didn't find him attractive enough. He did fit her standards, and he did meet her requirements; she just didn't expect this to happen to her suddenly.

"I guess you're handsome enough." She twirled with her hair.

"Perfect, your hips will serve their purpose well." He hummed momentarily and looked out into the distance, "We will leave this place behind and find a nice place to settle to put this nonsensical waste of our lives behind us."

She could imagine it: a nice home somewhere out in the country or hidden in an apartment in a different city.

~~~

MASTERLIST

TAG LIST: @books-are-everything, @kurai-hono-blog, @iykyunho, @marvellousdaisy, @m3rakii, @crow-with-a-typewriter, @sceirlose, @90scliche, @wondergoddess475, @miaowmelodie, @jeremy-no, @smallville1x10, @artsandstoriesandstuff, @whatwhump, @0eggdealer, @yuki-0710, @silky-worm, @theforeverdyingperson, @rainbow-nesquix, @m4iloblu3, @prophecies-bestowed-upon-ye,

Click here to be added to tags

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

The Book: Everything We Know So Far and Possible Connections

The Book's lore is driving me crazy and I had to write this. This isn't meant to be a solid cohesive theory on anything but I wanted to compile everything we know about the Book, some rather disturbing implications of what that might mean, and which characters may or may not have a connection to it, as well as what that connection might be.

This is a long post, so I've bolded the key info. You can skim those if you don't want to go through everything. :)

***Major spoilers for BSD and for Beast!***

Main Series Information:

The first mentions of the Book occur in Chapter 28, when Fitzgerald tells Atsushi that the Guild's goal is to locate it. He tells Atsushi that only one copy of this book exists, and that neither flames nor abilities can damage it.

Fitzgerald claims he knows the Book is there because a prophet ability user foresaw that it had been sealed within Yokohama. When Atsushi asks what the relation is between him and the Book, Fitzgerald says that Atsushi is the guide to the Book.

In Chapter 35, Fitzgerald states that his goal is to use the Book to bring his daughter back to life.

The next mention is in Chapter 46, when Dazai talks to Fyodor in the alley. Dazai mentions that since Fyodor and the Rats don't have the firepower to burn down Yokohama, he instead needs to exterminate Yokohama's ability users to get to the Book, hence the cannibalism strategy.

Dazai says the true Book is a single novel with blank pages where anything written becomes the truth. Fyodor wishes to use it to make a world without the sin of ability users. Dazai says basically "good luck with that dude" lol. (Actually the line is "Give that a go, if you can, that is." which... might be significant?)

Chapter 58: Taneda dumps a lot of info on Ranpo. His assailant, who we know to be Sigma, stole a page from him, a single page removed from the Book in order to study it. The page has exactly the same capacity to make anything written become reality, it just has limited space to write. However, the Book has a restriction: it requires karmic/narrative consistency.

In Chapter 58.5, Mykola's speech about cages and the freedom of birds is ironically dictated word for word by a mysterious author. The translator note on the unofficial version I'm reading says the mysterious author is using imperfect Japanese with lots of katakana - I cannot confirm this myself, but it has interesting implications on our mystery author's identity if true. The page is used to position the Agency as the terrorists in the white hoods and frame them.

Chapter 59: Ranpo believes the Book was not made by an ability user but by something far greater than that. His proof is that unlike Mushitarou's ability, which can also alter reality, the people affected by the Book also have new memories to fit the alteration to the events. The Agency members remember committing the crime, even though they know they didn't.

In Chapter 70, Mushitarou reveals the DoA plans to use the other side of the page to eliminate the country at the next full moon. I am curious as to the significance of the full moon, given the moon's frequent recurrence in the series and Atsushi's ability connection to it. Chapter 74.5 establishes that the Sky Casino, with its 13 year history, was created 8 days ago when the page was written on, as a base for the next stage and also to "repay" Sigma for the use of his ability to retrieve it. In Chapter 75, Fyodor claims that Sigma, too, was written into existence via the Book 3 years ago - he has no memories before this point.

Chapter 77: the page was written with a condition that no police or law enforcement would believe in the Agency's innocence. However, Tachihara broke through that condition by reaffirming his identity as a member of the Mafia, which (metaphorically) tears the page.

Later references don't tell us too much more but I'll summarize them regardless. Kamui/Fukuchi has the page, which Atsushi knows from Sigma's info. Ranpo made an appeal to the police, explaining that the Agency was framed and the page preventing them from seeing the truth, and half the force sees the truth for themselves, breaking through the page's condition. Ranpo believed the direct opposition to the page's restrictions might sway Fukuchi into believing them (unfortunately, we don't know if this was right, as Fukuchi was not affected in the first place, being Kamui himself). And that's what we have so far.

Disturbing Implication #1: The Special Division knows/knew the location of the Book.

Taneda mentions that a page from the Book was taken to study. This implies that at one point, the Special Division had the Book or knew of its location. The higher ups may still know where it is. There are a few potential timelines here: the first is that the page was removed many, many years earlier, perhaps during the war, and the second is that the page was removed and tested 3 years ago, and Sigma resulted from these trials.

Disturbing Implication #2: Ranpo says the Book was created by something greater.

Something greater than ability users. I suspect this may be something outside their world. At this stage, it seems very likely this "greater entity" is an author - the author of the world we read about (it's Asagiri omg). An author, to the world they write, is akin to a god. I'm kind of joking about the Asagiri thing, but the "author" of the Book is likely someone/something that exists beyond the scope of the world of BSD.

Contradiction: The Book cannot be damaged by flame or ability, but pages can be torn out of it? How?

Beast Information:

Oh boy. Where to even start?

Beast Dazai states that the Book is the origin of the main universe's world, and it contains an infinite number of parallel worlds within it.

"What you write becomes a reality" is actually a misnomer. Writing in the Book calls a parallel world that aligns with what is written directly from the Book. This parallel world will then trade places with the real world.

There is a single physical reality, and infinite possible worlds. The Beast universe exists within the Book, as a possible world.

A version of the Book exists in the Beast universe. However, this Beast version of the Book is more of a weakness. Orders from the real world can overwrite Beast. And anyone who tries to write in Beast's Book will make Beast cease to exist.

Beast Dazai jumps at the end of Beast. This is because if more than 3 people know the truth about the Book, the world will destabilize - it may even disappear without Beast's Book being written in.

Beast Dazai created a singularity using his ability. It's not explained how he did this, but it has something to do with his nullification. He did this to read the memories of real-world/original Dazai - the Dazai who exists outside the Book. (It seems all but given that this is Dazai from the main timeline.)

Though the above conflicts with some of what we know in the main manga, we can take it as fact, I think. The narration is heavy on emphasizing that Beast Dazai is telling no lies in this scene.

Disturbing Implication #3: Any alterations are not inventions but transferrals, which means these events actually occurred in another universe.

This means that the Agency really were the DoA terrorists in a parallel world and they did carry out the plan. They really did take the hostages in this world. Tanizaki really did push the button. This would explain their memories. The caveat of no one in law enforcement believing them might make sense too - they're actually criminals in that world, so they would have no reason to believe them. "Trading places" also implies that the terrorist Agency universe has the terrorists trying to save the hostages like the Agency originally planned to do (potentially).

Sigma is an interesting case. If he really was written into existence from the Book, then he was called from another parallel world - literally displaced from his home. His amnesia likely occurred in that parallel world too.

Disturbing Implication #4: The parallel worlds are more fragile than the main world of BSD.

There is something different about our main universe. The Book that originates here is the real deal. But Beast's (and all the Books from different parallel worlds) leave them vulnerable. These worlds can be destroyed at any time if anyone tries to write in these Books. Only a select number of people can know how it really works before it starts to destabilize. What's more, at any point, someone could write in the real-world's Book and overwrite it entirely, and there would be nothing that any of the people within that world could do about it. And Beast Akutagawa, thinking back on the events of the story, comes to the conclusion that even though his world is "but a shadow", the desires, feelings and actions of the people within it make those people no less real than those in the original.

Beast is a goddamn existential horror.

Character Connections

Now, onto the characters who are known to have some kind of connection to the Book.

Fitzgerald wanted the Book in the Guild arc to bring back his daughter. While this is the first mention of it, given that he got his info from clearly secondhand sources (the prophet ability user or Fyodor, most likely), I don't think he has any sort of deeper understanding of it, nor a more personal connection. Ranpo seems to be figuring out the Book's logistics rather quickly, but I expect nothing less from the greatest detective, and he doesn't have a strong personal connection I can see as of yet. As for Fukuchi, whatever knowledge he gained 36 years ago might be connected... but again, I have nothing else to say on this front, considering we have little else on this (I'm actually more inclined to think it has to do with the war - which may tie in with the Book, but not necessarily). I would also be very surprised if Mori doesn't know something but I have no real evidence for this other than that the man is suspicious as hell. Then again, there's also Tokoyami Island, which "appeared" seemingly out of nowhere and is where Yosano's backstory took place and Fukuchi headed after his argument with Fukuzawa. It seems possible, if not likely, that it was created with the Book. So, let's go over some characters who we actually can expand on a little.

Taneda

Not much to say here other than what kind of research was being done with the Book? Given that Taneda had the page on him, was he the one responsible for the research being conducted on it, or was he just involved?

What kind of research was being done with the page? How were they testing it? The page was blank, so they must not have created anything with it yet. How then, did Taneda know how it worked and that the page would have the same capacities as the full Book?

Taneda doesn't seem to understand the Book completely - he thinks it was created by an ability user, after all, and like everyone else in the main universe he doesn't know the reason the Book requires narrative consistency (that it is pulling from other worlds, not just making anything written come true).

The Special Division likely had the Book at one point, but by the time Fitzgerald comes to retrieve it, it has been "sealed". Did the Special Division seal it? Why and how?

Atsushi

We know he has a lot to do with it. Atsushi and the Book are incredibly intertwined, and the initial conflict was kicked off by a bounty placed on his head for this connection.

He is called the "guide" to the Book. What does that mean? Is he meant to locate it? Unlock the seal? Or is he a guide on how to use it properly?

6 years ago, Shibusawa found Atsushi at the orphanage when he was just a kid and tortured him to extract his ability. He was a researcher who learned about the tiger from Fyodor, who called Atsushi's ability "one that guides the envy of all ability users". And we know Fyodor has been after the Book for a long time, so it's difficult to imagine this does not have something to do with it.

Atsushi is the only character to directly reference a real-life novel in the series and recall reading it. "The head may err but never the blood" and "I only regret what I haven't done" are from the real Nakajima Atsushi's "Light, Wind, and Dreams", a fictionalized autobiography detailing the last few years of the life of Robert Louis Stevenson. While other characters quote their namesakes' fiction on occasion, to my recollection, Atsushi is the only one who explicitly remembers reading the book, but finds himself unable to remember the author's name. Cute reference, or plot significant? You decide.

Atsushi's tiger is heavily associated with the moon, particularly the full moon. For some reason, the other side of the page is to be used at the next full moon and cannot be used sooner. Atsushi's ability crystal, pulled out of him by Shibusawa as a child, is described as "pale and glittering like the moon".

It is entirely unlike the red crystals that form in the Dead Apple separated abilities - including Atsushi's tiger (also red). It is, however, similar to Dazai's, which is white. Atsushi transforms into the tiger to swallow the moon-like crystal - to reiterate, it was outside him when he transformed. What's more, from Beast it's known that this instance was when his ability apparently activated for the first time - how could it do that if it was already removed from him? Later on, Shibusawa tries to take the crystal again and Atsushi's transformation deteriorates, that's true, but bear in mind that Atsushi was convinced that crystal was the tiger, which may have psychologically influenced this. In fact, the moon crystal may not be the tiger at all. It is entirely possible it is something else, and it is likely that which makes Atsushi so sought after. If it is, I refuse to believe this has nothing to do with the Book.

Atsushi's ability is described as the "spark of life that resists all abilities". A reference to his healing factor, perhaps? Or something more meaningful?

He's also referred to as an "angel" by Shibusawa who canonically got his information from Fyodor so... make of that what you will.

Tachihara

This isn't so much about Tachihara having significance in future but more about what his breaking of the page's conditions might mean.

At the crux of this is his split identity - he's a Hunting Dog, but also a mafioso, and his struggle between these identities is his core conflict in the Sky Casino arc.

Eventually, Tachihara, recalling Hirotsu and Gin's words that anyone in the Mafia knows that the Agency is innocent, frantically realizes they have the wrong culprits, thus breaking through the page's caveat that all law enforcement would never believe them, accompanied by a metaphorical tear in the page.

It's intriguing because we don't see this same dramatic depiction later on with the police when Ranpo appeals to them - Tachihara has changed his expected role from police to mafioso. Tachihara is no longer playing the "character" he was meant to play.

He tore out of that restriction in the story. His story line is now on a different path. There are some serious implications of that if a change in character can literally break people free of the Book's reality-altering influence. It is all-powerful so long as everyone plays their expected role in that narrative. Breaking out of that can change the story, even if only minutely.

Sigma

Of course Sigma is connected. He was apparently written into the Book three years ago - which means he came from one of the parallel worlds. (Provided Fyodor is telling the truth about his origins, but I think it would be very strange narratively if this wasn't - at least partially - true.)

I am curious if Sigma will regain some of his memories soon, or if it is even possible for him. If he can regain memories, then they would be from a world within the Book. Or, perhaps his memories don't exist because that world has been overwritten and no longer exists?

Is it possible for Sigma to communicate between worlds using his exchange of information? Maybe this is completely out of left field... I'm just curious what role Sigma is going to play in all this.

It's strange, for someone so obviously connected I... really don't have much to say about him. I just think we don't have enough.

Mykola

There isn't too much to say for certain about him, but I know I was super uncomfortable with his entire speech about birds and cages and freedom being dictated in real-time by the page. That's rough, buddy.

As of this moment, he's supposed to be dead, but somehow defied his fate and is still alive. He decided not to play the role ("character") he was previously meant to, and now he is the cast's biggest wildcard.

Mykola's fixation on freedom at all costs may have some interesting implications for his interactions with the idea of the Book. When his words were written on the page, was the page dictating his speech, or was it merely recording what he was already saying? If the Book is the story, then does the story control the characters, or, as it has been implied by Mykola and Tachihara, can the characters defy the story? When they defy the story, the story changes to accommodate this. Have they really, then, defied anything of significance at all? (For clarity: I don't know if this is where BSD will go with it - in actuality, I'm always confused when people theorize the Book's author is evil and controlling, or that the series will end tragically, given how much BSD loves to emphasize the importance of writing and reading and understanding and living. This is just an example of a few possible questions it may make sense for Mykola to fixate on.)

I don't have a lot to say for certain, but given his need to be free, his connection with Fyodor, and his Dazai-foiling traits, I'd think it very odd if he wasn't involved to some extent.

Dazai

...where to even start.

Dazai clearly knows things about the Book. He appears to know much of what Fyodor does, and it makes me curious as to whether it came up when they first met (whenever that was).

However, main series Dazai doesn't seem to have all the info Beast Dazai does. For one thing, he too echoes that the Book makes all that is written into it become reality. He may know about the parallel worlds within it and could just be lying by omission, but I've seen very little to suggest that this is the case.

Main series Dazai appears to know about certain events long before they occur (not everything though; I need to remind people that he can and has been thrown off/wrong about things before) - notably, most of these planned events revolve around Fyodor. He's been preparing Atsushi and Akutagawa specifically to deal with the upcoming threat posed by Fyodor's pursuit of the Book.

Beast Dazai was somehow able to read the memories of real-world Dazai by creating a singularity with his ability... somehow. It's assumed he must've created it while in contact with the Book (otherwise how else could he have read the memories) but it's actually not elaborated on and we still have little to no details.

If his nullification caused a singularity, then how? Was it a singularity with the Book? Himself? Whatever the Book was sealed with/in? Singularities are still quite mysterious, but they need to involve one of two things - an insurmountable contradiction, or an uncontrollable increase in power with no way to cap it. Given that nullification doesn't lend itself to an increase in anything, it's likely an inherent contradiction.

I think it pretty obvious that Dazai has some special knowledge of the Book; some connection to it. He's been preparing to combat Fyodor for many, many years, and he seems to want to take Fyodor out as quickly as possible. Clearly, his potential use of the Book is a big deal to Dazai and worth putting his full effort into preventing, which is a little odd, honestly, considering he only met him once before the events of Dead Apple. Fyodor must've really made a terrible impression on him.

Where did he come from? There's that post about how Dazai is in everyone else's backstory for some reason, but we don't know his yet. Here's what we do know: He has some kind of connection with the Old Mafia Boss. He wandered around Yokohama for awhile. He's not related to Mori or an orphan he picked up.

While I've seen suggestions that Dazai met Fyodor in the 2 year gap between his leaving the Mafia and joining the ADA, I think there's reason to suggest he may have met Fyodor before he ever joined the Mafia, as a young child. Just bringing it up as a possibility because Beast Dazai's forming of a singularity with it sounded intentional - which means at 16, he would already have known what the Book was. Did he get his knowledge from Fyodor? Someone else?

Why did young Dazai become so listless and unable to find a reason to live? How did he become convinced that he will lose everything he wants so badly to keep when he gets it? Why did he think he could predict everything in advance? Is it just his intelligence and observation? Or is there more to it than that?

While I'm not a huge fan of the "Dazai is the Book" theory (given that it would make him literally inhuman, which I think runs antithetical to his story), on reviewing all this I've come up with a new incredibly deranged and not-at-all-sound theory:

Dazai is the Book's seal. In this essay I will -

Fyodor

First of all, we know hardly anything about him. We don't understand his ability. We don't even know how old he is. He's been with V/the Decay of the Angel for many years apparently... he was involved in Shibusawa's actions... he has some kind of a history with Dazai... he perfected the art of dramatically standing on windy roofs... truly, he's an enigma.

On a more serious note, all we know is that he wants the Book to create a world free of ability users. Free of sin.

This doesn't seem to fully align with Fukuchi's goal. My proof? They have differing concepts of "angels".

Fukuchi's "angels" borrow from the Buddhist concept of Devas and also likely references Mishima Yukio's The Decay of the Angel. Fukuchi tells Tachihara that the angels are the politicians who remain in their lofty seats and send soldiers into war to die. His goal isn't revenge per se, but it does appear to involve dethroning them in a sense. He doesn't mention wiping out ability users nor of having any particular ill-will towards them.

However, Fyodor's concept is closer to the Abrahamic concept of angel, what with the numerous references to original sin, the script for the play in Untold Origins speaking of angels banished by God for their sins, etc. What's interesting is that the play emphasizes ability users as "angels" who have regained some of their prior powers (I find it difficult to believe Fyodor was not involved in the creation of this) - so Fyodor's "sinful angels" are likely ability users. What does this mean for their goals? Are they still aligned? Is the undermining of government necessary for the elimination of ability users? (Also quick note: do not quote me on any religious stuff - I am not religious myself. I do research sometimes but I'm very, very far from an expert ahaha.)

So, now: Cannibalism was part 1 of the DoA's plan, and all the ensuing stages will culminate in the use of the other side of the page.

Firstly, there's the obvious "what will the other side of the page be used for?"

But then there's something else. By the time Cannibalism occurred, the pieces were already in place for the next phase of the plan, where Sigma would steal the page from Taneda. Why then, does Fyodor still claim, on numerous occasions, to be after the Book? The page should be able to accomplish anything the Book can. Either there is something misleading in the information we have been told, or there is something he wants to do with the Book that isn't writing in it. I think the former is more likely but I digress, the latter is still a possibility.

A few more outstanding questions: Why was he spreading info on Atsushi to Shibusawa and presumably Fitzgerald, but not going after Atsushi himself? Wouldn't he want Atsushi as the Book's guide?

What is his connection to the prophet ability user Fitzgerald mentioned - is it him, with his uncanny predictive powers? Is it someone else associated with the DoA? Is it someone in the government? How long ago was this prediction made - was it made long enough ago that this is why V was active in Yokohama?

There's a lot that's very confusing about Fyodor, and I don't think we know nearly enough about him to make proper predictions as to his relation to the Book yet.

Akutagawa

He's only really tangentially related to it through his connection to Atsushi - if any showdown is going to happen involving the Book, you can bet he and Akutagawa will be teaming up for that.

At the same time, Dazai selected Akutagawa as a mentee a long time ago, and he's been planning for them to work together since he met Atsushi, specifically so they can prevent Fyodor from achieving his goals. In Beast, he mentions their abilities form a singularity together - likely that ability to "cut through anything".

I know this may be entirely wild and out of left field but if it can cut through anything... could it damage the impervious Book? Could it even destroy it? Or maybe it could destroy whatever is sealing it? Who knows, but it makes me think they're going to have to destroy something. (Interesting how this runs counter to sskk's need to act as protectors of the Book in Beast... so maybe it will be in defense. It's all so unclear.)

There's also the whole "dragon is the manifestation of the chaos of ability users". Atsushi and Akutagawa are the tiger and the dragon, at odds with each other via rivalry but also in balance. I think it would be very strange if Atsushi's ability were unusual but not Akutagawa's.

In addition to all the above, I am also side-eyeing all the author characters in this series. For one thing, there's very few of them. For another, two of them have died, changing the path of their respective best friends' lives - and in a series that actually... doesn't kill that many named characters off permanently, it's worth taking a look at.

Yokomizo wanted to transcend the boundaries of fiction in his writing to create a mystery that bled into reality - the ultimate mystery. Mushitarou writes to see his friend again, to connect with him through his greatest passion. Poe's ability allows him to take real people and pull them into constructed narratives that can be escaped once they are "solved" - when the story reaches its conclusion. He is also the one who spurs Mushitarou into writing to cope with his loss.

Natsume wrote a few books as well. We don't know completely what they were about (and from my brief research they don't seem to correspond perfectly to his real life novels - might be a reference to Kokoro but the story does not appear to be the same...), but at least one was a series of three novels, with the last featuring an assassin who stopped killing, but Natsume derided these books and said they were not very good. He tore out the last few pages from the third, final book that explained why the assassin changed his path, and gave the book to a young Odasaku with a note "Don't blame me if you regret [reading] it".

Odasaku wanted to complete that novel. It completely changed his perspective on the world and opened his eyes - he re-read it multiple times (if I remember correctly, he also read it over and over to a wounded and exasperated Dazai in TDIPUD lol), and the lack of an ending bothered him immensely, not just because the story was incomplete, but because the scene was necessary to understanding the assassin's character. Odasaku wrote to understand himself and others, because writing novels is writing people. Natsume seemed to think he was uniquely qualified to do so, but Odasaku disagreed, thinking that someone who took lives was in no position to write about them - to understand them.

Odasaku dies. In every universe, and before he gets the chance to write the novel that sits in his mind - except in Beast, where Dazai painstakingly maintained the world to ensure he stayed alive. It seems oddly specific that this one random person should die before having the opportunity to write the story he wished... and I have to wonder if the universe really doesn't want him writing that book for some reason. And if that's the case, then is there any reason (beyond saving Oda from killing) why Natsume encouraged him to do so?

As a bonus, in the anime, Odasaku is the one to title drop "to the stray dogs" as a cheers, which Dazai will later echo. This doesn't happen in the novel... but if you look back at the difference between the anime Book and the manga Book - you'll notice the manga Book's cover is blank. The anime's says "Stray Dogs". Could be something, could be nothing. But it's worth mentioning.

And that's pretty much it for now! As we get more info, I'll continue to update this post. If anything here gives you ideas, please feel free to ramble about it in the tags or comments, or shoot me an ask! I love to read all your thoughts. :)

[nuria-schnee]

Hi! ❤️ For this week's sneak peek, have the boys having A Moment™

Most of the time, Edwin was aware of Charles’ presence around him, even if he wasn’t looking at him. It surprised both of them when Charles touched his shoulder and startled Edwin.

“Edwin?” Charles muttered, pulling his hand away and sitting on the edge of the desk, facing him with kind, bright eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Edwin answered, readjusting his posture and straightening his back. “I only wished to note down tonight’s indecent before I forget any details.”

“I don’t think that’s possible, mate,” Charles smiled at him.

Edwin sighed, wishing that was actually true.

“Could start filing some of these,” Charles added and reached for the first report over one stack of cases. “If you want.”

“No. Not yet,” Edwin sighed, opening his notebook and picking up his pen. “It is alright, Charles. It has been quite a night. You may rest, if you wish.”

“What about you? When will you take a break?”

“I have not had to fight a poltergeist and escape a legion of rabid bumblebees,” Edwin noted, remarking the last part. Then he dropped his gaze to the pages before him and began taking notes.

“Yeah, but,” Charles grimaced a bit. “You’ve been overloading yourself since this started. You should take a break too.”

“Considering the current situation, I do not think that is the wisest decision.”

Keep reading under the cut!

“But it might help? You know, to see things from a new perspective and all that?”

“If you wish to rest, I am not against it. You do not need to feel obligated to do anything else,” Edwin said absentmindedly.

“That’s not what I meant,” Charles muttered, keeping his voice cheerful, but tinged with sadness. “I just— I think you really should stop for a bit after you’ve finished with this, yeah? We could do something fun. Or just laze about. Play Cluedo, maybe.”

Edwin stopped scribbling, raising his eyes to Charles. He was starting at him with a plea written in his expression, shining with hope. When their gazes locked, his smile turned softer.

“Come on, mate,” Charles tilted his head to the side, his earring dangling enticingly. “It’s been weeks since we’ve done anything but work. Things are calmer now and we should make the most of it, just in case. Catch our breath. Get our energies back, yeah?”

For a few seconds, Edwin just stared at his friend, hopeful and bright in the warm light of the office. Admiring the way he was breathing evenly, deeply, his body tense with expectation, with quiet hope. Edwin had trouble remembering why he was so adamant about depriving himself of a bit of time together. The resolve to keep working until he solved the case, until he cracked the greater mystery, was slipping away with every second he kept his eyes fixed on Charles’. An incessant thought that this was precisely the reason he was doing it, to have more quiet moments with him, simmered in his mind. However, Charles had him transfixed with the way he was pleading at him with such fondness, with a need for company he wasn’t sure he could refuse.

Edwin felt he had to be running out of luck by now. He just had to. Even if his life and death had been plagued by suffering, the fact that he was there, accompanied by that beautiful, diligent creature, couldn’t be anything but a causality born out of pure luck. He had escaped Hell and met him. After only a few hours of knowing each other, Charles had decided to stay with him, and chose to again and again, for forty years. They could have lost each other a lot of times and hadn’t. Edwin confessed his love, and Charles still stayed, comprehensive and supportive until the point Edwin found himself struggling to believe he was real at all, all over again. Every time he could have lost Charles, he hadn’t. More often than not, Edwin was shaken by the fear that the next time would be the definitive, the time he truly lost him. Whatever he could do to avoid that, he would. He had to keep working. He had to keep the agency productive and remain useful himself. He had to solve this case, once and for all.

But Charles wanted time with him. It shouldn’t be as baffling for Edwin as it turned out to be. They’d only had each other for decades and Charles still enjoyed his company, looked happier when they spent time doing things together outside cases. To be honest, Edwin hadn’t realised how long they had gone without a break. He’d been too absorbed in the case to notice. Charles’ expression was making him realise how much he too yearned for it. For a peaceful night, spent with Charles on the couch, looking at him, hearing him laugh—

When they got back from Port Townsend, there had been a part of him still scared of how his confession might have changed things between them. Crystal had been mostly doing her own thing those first weeks, and that had left them alone for long stretches of time again. The relief he felt when he realised they seemed to have grown even closer after those experiences was unmeasurable.

Charles’ absolute easiness about his feelings escaped him still, in some ways. Edwin suspected it had more to do with some of his unearthed shame, still encysted in the core of him, than with Charles. Edwin hadn’t felt anything but loved by him, even if his heart yearned for more. That was enough.

If his inability to get rid of those feelings would cause problems in the future, he wasn’t quite sure. He wasn’t inclined to examine that at the moment. Not that he had the time either.

“Alright,” Edwin conceded in the end.

“Yes!” Charles lighted up like a thousand suns, his smile blinding, and he pushed himself away from the table, ready to jump into whatever activity Edwin proposed.

Edwin couldn’t help the smile curving his mouth. “Once I am finished with this,” Edwin added, swallowing down the laughter in his tone. “It will be only a few minutes.”

“Brills,” Charles said, cheerful.

[silvergreenseraphim]

The First Soldier: Chapter Six

Japanese highlights + analysis

Hi guys! Okay, let’s look right into this chapter-

Opening with Team Glenn, we learn some small details. The Shinra dig will start soon, and Glenn marvels at how fast everything is moving. Matt credits Shinra power, Glenn credits their hard work as a team, and Lucia credits Sephiroth, who did most of the work. Glenn, being more humble now, admits that he cannot deny it, and remembers that he must tell Sephiroth about the payment.

However, he notes that Sephiroth does not seem interested in money. This is one of the first hints throughout this chapter that Team Glenn still do not fully understand what Sephiroth is to Shinra. It is a subtle but reoccurring pattern, particularly when the notion of “being fired” comes into play later on.

The English in this scene was good. No major changes.

The chief engineer calls the team over and reprimands them for being too relaxed, saying that they need to do their jobs and clear out the monsters near the living quarters. Glenn awkwardly agrees to get back to patrolling, but first he asks,

“Hey, have you seen our squad leader?”

The engineer responds,

“If you mean that kid, isn’t he still out looking through the bodies? It’s disgusting. Please make him stop.“

Glenn is surprised and says, “Sephiroth is rummaging through the corpses?”

Matt notes that Sephiroth does often disappear/go off on his own, and Lucia says to look for him on their patrol.

(Seeing how the other Shinra employees behave and speak helped me see why Sephiroth had no luck asking around about his mother. They are only there to do their jobs, and don’t understand the child SOLDIER at all. It is very much an indifferent workforce).

Next is the scene where we learn about the materia fragments that were shattered over time. This scene adds greater weight to the mako spring discussion in the Nibelheim flashback, where Sephiroth comments that the condensed formation must have taken ages. It takes a very long time for even small bits to form, and even then they can shatter.

There is the silly bit of banter between the team about using diversion pebbles/materia fragments, but I must note again that Glenn seems calmer and less cocky even in his jesting.

Then Lucia becomes visibly concerned and says,

“Looking through corpses…I wonder if he’s really doing that…”

Glenn responds,

“The chief engineer is just joking around right? There’s no way he (Sephiroth) would do something like that.”

Matt agrees that there would be no need for it, and the team moves forward.

(It is very wholesome to see them believe only the best of Sephiroth despite what others think, and they are more perceptive and accurate about him anyway. This story constantly leads the audience to worry that Sephiroth always held darker traits before immediately disproving these concerns or at least showing that his reasons were always understandable. Team Glenn speaks for the more optimistic viewers at this point).

Of course little Sephiroth is caught undeniably searching a body, and Glenn questions him in surprise. Sephiroth is confused at first, but then acknowledges that it does look wrong. Lucia asks him if he is looking for something. Sephiroth says,

“I lost the pendant with my mother's photo in it.. . . . . .I was looking for it. I was checking to see if someone might have picked it up and had it on them…”

(So, a small translation nuance; it is clear in Japanese that Sephiroth dropped it and believed that someone could have picked it up. He is not just looking under bodies, he is going through their pockets and all to see if anyone has it with them.)

Sephiroth chuckles and admits,

“Haha, I suppose I am a corpse-scavenger…“

(This is another case of Sephiroth’s childlike innocence mingling with his very dark reality. He lost his most precious possession like a normal child would, but now has to search for it among the dead that he himself laid to waste).

When the others understand, Glenn says,

“Alright, let’s look for it while we kill monsters.”

And Sephiroth replies,

“Thank you very much…that helps…“

The team moves on to kill monsters and search.

Glenn notes the lesser number of bodies and Sephiroth points out that it was because of the monsters. Glenn shudders to think of dying in the area, but Sephiroth takes the opportunity to beseech them to not let their guard down. He says,

“You all seem to be feeling a little relaxed. You can never be too careful. You must protect yourself. If you don't apply this basic rule...”

Right then a monster swoops in and Sephiroth kills it, stunning the others. He concludes with, “…then even I can’t protect you.”

Glenn asks, “So, you’re protecting us?”

Sephiroth walks up to him and responds,

“It’s because you’re my team.”

They are interrupted by more monsters, but when the fighting ends, Matt repeats what Sephiroth said.

“I’ll protect you because you’re my team…”

Matt glares at Glenn and says,

“I’d like to hear that from a team-leader I know who previously threatened to hit one of his own squad members…”

Lucia chimes in with the comment about that same team-leader making them be near his gross socks.

(They are both referencing the first chapter of the game, where Glenn’s outburst on the helicopter made it appear as though he were going to punch Matt, and when Glenn made a joke about his socks being so bad that they would pull Lucia out of shell-shock).

Sephiroth looks up at Glenn while shaking his head and laughs, saying,

“Ha…that’s the worst.”

Glenn remarks,

“But it’s “memorable,” isn’t it?”

Sephiroth thinks for a moment and says,

“Yes, I see. So, that team-leader fears being forgotten…”

This observation strikes Matt and even Glenn. They appear to rethink Glenn’s leadership style. Glenn does not protest the observation, but he ponders it.

(I found it sweet that Sephiroth did not judge Glenn, but pointed out what is likely a true insecurity of Glenn’s, but in a very mild and childlike way. Part of me even wonders if Sephiroth understood the fear because he too had struggled with it. After all, adult Sephiroth refused to be a memory even post-insanity.)

(Also, it is hard to fully explain, but reading this text in Japanese—it becomes easier to see how it is not just Glenn that influences Sephiroth, but also the other way around. It’s strange but…it feels as though Glenn has become…softer? Even when alone with his team, he is not disrespecting them so much or being so brash. It was his meeting with Rosen that helped him to develop sympathy for the “enemy” and it was Sephiroth that helped Glenn become kinder to his team. Even the way he speaks seems gentler. 

In the last chapter, Glenn was so harsh towards Seph at the beginning, but learned remorse and how to apologize when Sephiroth’s vulnerability was showcased. In this chapter, Sephiroth is the one to understand that Glenn might have been such a brash leader because he feared being forgotten, which was a very perceptive and empathetic observation, causing even Matt to reconsider. It was a very heart-warming scene). 

(The next sequence is devastating and I believe it caused some minor controversy with fans because of how Glenn speaks, but I can affirm that the tone in Japanese seems to aim for sympathetic character development. As I mentioned before, Glenn is different to the character we first met, and his arc is becoming more clear as we move forward.)

As the squad looks through the bodies, Glenn notices that there were not many Rhadoran remnants left, and Matt suspects it was because of their living conditions and the endless battle with monsters. Glenn remarks that it must have been a hard lifestyle. He then says,

“...I don't really understand why Rhadore hated the Mako reactors…I mean, there's no such thing as convenient (as the reactors), right?”

They are swiftly interrupted again by monsters, causing Sephiroth to say that they seem more interested than usual.

“The monsters seem more interested than usual.”

“They’re excited about live bait!” Glenn says.

“If you want to be bait, I won't stop you, but as a SOLDIER, please fight first.” Sephiroth urges.

When they clear out the area again, Matt considers the similarities between the Rhadoran believes and “Planetology” or the “study of the star.”

“When a person dies, their life returns to the planet with their consciousness and heart and intersects with the energy of life circulating around the planet. The idea is that a new life will eventually be born from it. The life around this planet is what they call “qi” (mana). The “qi” going around the planet enriches people and nature and the planet itself. It would be unthinkable for Rhadore to consume such an irreplaceable energy.”

Glenn is still confused, and then Sephiroth interjects with,

“Dr. Hojo talked to me about this…

“No matter how rationally and logically we explain things, there are people we will not be able to share understanding with. That is because they see the world differently.””

Glenn argues that such things won’t matter if someone dies, and that it would just be better to accept an easy life instead of fighting so hard against it. He points out that Rosen is the only one left, and says that if the Rhadoran beliefs are true, what will become of the last Rhadoran boy when he dies? When he is gone, no one will be left, and people will forget Rhadore.

Sephiroth sadly shakes his head and turns away, saying that,

“The planet remembers…I am certain that is what the people of Rhadore believe…”

Glenn receives his epiphany, and understands that the Rhadorans resisted the consumption of mana/mako because it would erase all memories of life. He is suddenly overcome with sadness and turns to kneel and honor the fallen soldiers. The others do the same.

(This scene was, in my opinion, intended to deliver a strong message, but was maybe limited by the story-telling style. Some people were shocked by Glenn’s questioning why the Rhadorans all died for their beliefs when he is with the very company that wiped them out. But I think it does help to remember that this war between Shinra and Wutai was something that soldiers like Glenn and his team only had seen one side of until this point. They were a survey team working for money after all, not the ones directly sent to kill the Rhadorans until Sephiroth arrived, who did most of the work anyway, and even shocked the others with his conditioned ruthlessness in the previous chapter.

Shinra is a propaganda monster, and undoubtedly played off the war as something the Wutaians started and were responsible for, as well as the Rhadorans. It does sound like Glenn is genuinely confused here, especially as someone who was probably used to Shinra being the default government for everything.

“Why would these people willingly die and fight Shinra for trying to make their lives easier?”

But that is the simple darkness of imperialism. Shinra was going to erase something very important to the Rhadorans for the sake of “convenience.”

Glenn only sees this after Sephiroth himself acknowledges the Rhadoran faith. This is where a change of heart occurs. The Rhadorans were fighting for a genuine reason. Of course they were.

I actually felt this was a very meaningful sequence after translating it. Very good attempt at addressing imperialist destruction.)

Afterwards, they keep up the search and Matt asks if Sephiroth is sure he dropped the necklace in the building they are in. He says he had it before the ruins, so he is sure it must have been in the building. Lucia explains that it might be difficult to find if they haven’t already. Sephiroth tiredly shakes his head and says,

“It’s okay. Thanks to everyone for looking together, I think I’m about ready to give it up.”

He is saying that since everyone looked at the same time, he is ready to accept that he has to let the photo go. If they can’t find it together, then it is truly lost. The others become downcast on his behalf, and then Glenn moves over to one of the dead soldiers. He suggests they bury them as a way to say sorry, though he is not sure if that is their custom. Either way, Sephiroth immediately says that he will help, and Glenn is grateful.

The next scene was clearly translated into English. As they bury the bodies, the dig begins and Sephiroth explains that they will need to evacuate to the sky in thirty minutes, thanks to a possible mako eruption or “torrent of qi” caused by Shinra’s explosives. Glenn remembers Rosen’s words, and Sephiroth says they need to hurry.

The following sequence is endearing as Sephiroth makes shortcuts for the team. He reveals a unique power that allows him to create great bursts of energy from simple materia fragments. The others are stunned. Glenn, in particular, cannot believe it even after Sephiroth explains. He says,

“No, it’s impossible! Sephiroth, you’re amazing!!”

In the next scene, Glenn is initially ready to chop down a tree to form a bridge across a river, but Sephiroth steps in and says his way will be quicker. Where before, Glenn would have been eager to lead the way, he kindly steps aside and lets Sephiroth take over. Glenn is once again verbally supportive, and says,

“Ha! As expected.”

Sephiroth says,

“As expected of a modified human (cyborg), right?”

Glenn says wasn’t going to say that, nor was he thinking it. Sephiroth says,

“Really?….I’m a little disappointed…”

Glenn is confused and Sephiroth shakes his head,

“I don’t really understand it myself…”

Bringing his head low and his hand to his heart again, he guesses,

“It’s just…nothing you guys say makes me feel bad, so I want you to be able to say anything…”

(The English got the point across as well, but Seph is sincerely saying that he trusts them because they don’t say things that hurt him, so he doesn’t want them to feel as if they need to hold back their thoughts. He is pointing out that he has grown to feel safe with them because they are not malicious with their words. It feels like he discovers the idea of trust in relationships right here).

Glenn perks up and says,

“Alright then, I’ll tell you what I think!! I’m counting on you, squad-leader! Now, let’s go!”

Sephiroth enthusiastically responds with “Yes!” and they move on.

The waterfall scene is largely the same. Glenn fully goes to Sephiroth to lead this time and hands him the materia fragment. He asks if Sephiroth can use it like before, and in Japanese, Sephiroth endearingly says he doesn’t want to “make things go boom” but that he has an idea. He freezes the waterfall and Glenn voices his praise again.

When they finally draw close, Glenn stops to think of Rosen, but Sephiroth urges him to hurry. When they get to the overlook, it becomes clear that Glenn and the others are struggling with remorse over the Rhadorans and Rosen being in danger. They exchange glances and Glenn almost says something to Sephiroth, but stops himself.

Sephiroth himself is far more concerned about them, his team, and their safety. The divide is obvious, and a choice will have to be made.

They arrive as the last ones to the Shinra helicopter and the engineer is ready for them to evacuate, but Glenn begs the man to delay the dig so that he can go and warn Rosen, thus setting his plans in motion without forewarning Sephiroth. The engineer refuses despite Glenn’s pleas and brings up the amount of money Shinra has put into the program. Glenn shouts,

“This isn’t about the money!”

And punches the engineer, much to Matt and Lucia’s exasperation.

The engineer says,

“I'll report you to headquarters! I can even have you fired.”

Glenn does not care. It is the first time we have seen him willingly dismiss money and fight for something else. He tells the engineer to get on the other helicopter, and Matt tells Lucia to make her decision. She apologizes to Sephiroth and hi-jacks the copter. Sephiroth simply turns his back quietly.

The final Stamp battle occurs afterwards as an interruption, and the team finishes the job, with more remorse from Glenn about messing with Stamp’s island. Then the engineer flies overhead and drops down the ladder, offering one more chance. Lucia says,

“Will Sephiroth also be disposed of?”

Matt reminds her,

“It’s okay, we’re the only ones at fault. There are witness too.”

With this, the team says goodbye to their leader, and Glenn tells him,

”Sephiroth, take care! Don’t overdo it/push yourself too much!”

They run off, leaving Sephiroth to evacuate, but he hesitates. The engineer shouts,

“Hurry up and get on, hero!”

But our hero can’t leave his friends just yet!

He runs up to them and Glenn is surprised. He says,

“You came…….are you sure? If you get on this helicopter, you could get fired, right?”

And the chapter ends with Sephiroth’s simple reply,

“I’m special.”

Glenn just laughs.

—

This appears to be a direct reference to Sephiroth’s future statement about always knowing he was special or different since he was a child.

The word is the same.

“Exceptional, unique, beyond ordinary…”

But this line from Sephiroth is actually more upsetting to me than funny or cocky, because yes, there is indeed a chance he is merely being proud about being able to get away with his current actions due to his status as Shinra’s hero, but…

There is also the chance he knows he cannot be fired or disposed of because Shinra would never let him leave. They have control over him. He is different or special in that sense too. He is a prized possession, unlike the others.

I have yet to see, but I wonder if Sephiroth knows that he is risking severe punishment for his actions by helping his team and will not be met with a simple lay-off, but since this is his last chance to help and be with his team, he is ready to pay the price. If they are fired, he may not see them again. Now is his chance.

His hesitation at the helicopter is sincere. He clasps at his heart and everything. I don’t believe he is being light-hearted when he tells Glenn he is different. In the English, it came off more prideful, as though Seph were daring Shinra to come after him. In Japanese, I get the feeling he is making a sacrifice. 

Sephiroth also believes it is his job to protect his team. If Shinra tries to harm them, he will have to face that. I fear that for now, Sephiroth has not learned that Shinra will not just punish him, but they can also kill people he considers friends.

I also think this chapter was full of foreshadowing.

Even the scenes with Glenn praising Sephiroth and making an effort to do it honestly and constantly felt as though it were meant to be a contrast for what could be shown later if the Shinra higher-ups appear and catch Sephiroth in the act of treason.

I am very proud of him, but I am very concerned for him now.

(I have more thoughts on Sephiroth’s relationship with Team Glenn after this chapter, but I will save it for another post! Hope you guys enjoy this one in the mean time!)

[lunaroracleofvenus]

Hymm of Healing - Pick A Picture

we will divine about how you can feel energetically lighter and more whole in all the ways that matter. There are four piles below 💚

LEFT TO RIGHT P1 -> P2 P3 -> P4

PILE ONE

First card to jump out was an oracle card of celebration. You are radiant and healing. Already complete and whole, now is the time to be whisked away into fun and pleasure. To dance with the wind, and embrace small and big miracles. To feel energetically lighter and more whole,, to put it simple, have more fun. Indulge in hobbies that bring you pleasure. Go outside, build a routine that you enjoy so much that you get excited about doing it the next day. Sounds mundane, but sometimes the most “unspiritual” thing is what’s needed to move your life and self in the direction you need to go. 

But yeah, engage with your solar plexus, and perhaps engage with your sacral chakra more too, to feel light and complete in all the ways that matter. Engage in the “I AM”. Engage with the fire element archetypically. 

I Am - Baby Tate

Pile TWO

Cinderella

For this pile, I am sensing a deep depression, or tribulation. Your surroundings or your mind seems very unmotivating/heavy/foggy right now. Despite this adversity I am getting a message of perseverance. To continue further, because you are greater than your current obstacles. There might not be an immediate solution to whatever the issue is, but I am being reminded of Cinderella enduring her difficult childhood. Having the mental strength to continue anyway. You are much stronger than you think you are. Suspend the doubt, and negativity, and believe in yourself and your future. Possibly cleanse your upper chakras, so you are able to see your situations or self more clearer. Also, you might be able to download a creative solution, or idea once you have cleansed. The upper chakras I am referring to are the third eye, throat chakra and crown chakra. But yeah, just to wrap up this reading, you are deeply resilient and deserve all the better days that ARE coming. Also, a more emphasis is being given on the throat chakra. Communicating your wants and needs, and saying your precious no’s and yes’s. Just taking more control of life in areas you can and mental resilience  will help you feel energetically lighter and more whole in all the ways that matter. You are not a doormat.

Superwoman - Alicia Keys

Worth Ethic - Toni Jones

Pile THREE

This pile took me slightly longer to pull a card.  You might be feeling like you are constantly searching for something. Or that something might be missing? Though, I think gratitude will enable you to feel energetically lighter, whole and complete. Nothing is missing.  You may be suffering with self doubt. You need to be more present, grounded and “cheer up”. There seems to be so much to be grateful for in your life. The throat chakra seems to be highlighted here. Lots of blue imagery. I think you may need to express yourself more. It might be creatively or personally, but yeah. Self expression, and gratitude will surely lift you energetically and aid you to feel more whole and complete in all the ways you need to right now. The peacock symbolism came up, so you might be experiencing good fortune already or its sure to be coming. Also it seems having more gratitude or kindness to yourself and circumstance might increase your good luck. You might be coming into some extra money as well. Symbolism prevalent: water, lake, peacock, blue, throat chakra, fairy, feathers.

PILE FOUR

To feel energetically lighter and more whole, I think you may need to tap more in your heart chakra and your ability to have faith. Just to have a knowing you are worthy of miracles and good things WILL happen to you. You might have a scarred emotional energy right now, scared of what could happen and the negative possibilities, but im hearing lean into faith. The universe or your guides will take care of you. This shift in mindset will really uplift you energetically! You will be provided with everything you may need. 222. You need to look more into the lucky girl concept or just adopting a mindset of being great, unique and lucky. Because you ARE those things. You might be glowing physically right now. And just a beauty. Just a small mental shift, and your energy will be divine honestly. You are gorgeous and amazing. 

Song: pretty girl era - Lu Kala

Goddess code - lizzy jeff

[feybeasts]

For funsies, and to flex my writing muscles again, I thought I'd write up a little faux-research-article on the wereplush concept I've been playing with and y'all seem to enjoy- what follows is both a vague lore framework and description of the curse via one of its first bearers... yours truly!

If it's a fun idea and you wanna subject yer own OCs to it, by all means, feel free! I'm not gonna act like I have the last say in a fun little idea, ehehe.

Below the break, then, I present to you:

THE CURSE OF THE WEREPLUSH: An Examination of Virulent Arcana

by Lena Hart.

Foreward

If there is anything I'm known for among my kind- and the many friends I've made across the greater multiverse- I would hope that chief among these qualities is my dedication to my work. In the scant few years I've acted as the Spirit Archives' caretaker, I've worked hard to document, understand, and put names to its many lost pieces of arcana, its once-nameless denizens, its peculiar quirks. I've treated my responsibilities with the utmost care no matter what sort of proverbial wrenches are thrown in the works, whether that be restless spirits, outside intervention, or- and I will fully admit this one is significant, even if it embarrasses me somewhat- my own... let's say poor luck with volatile artifacts. Such a dedication is not always easy, for when one's form is often altered, one's mind assailed, and one's breaks frequently disturbed, properly-written research papers can be the last thing on one's mind.

Even so, I endure not because I'm stubborn- though I AM that- but because this work is important. Because I believe in it.

So, with that prefaced, I hope you can fully appreciate the gravity with which I say now that the following report is... one of the most difficult things I've ever had to write. Not because the subject matter is transgressive or challenging; no, if anything, it's anything BUT that. What I've taken to calling the Curse of the Wereplush is, if anything, frankly ridiculous on the face of it- but what makes it difficult to write is... well...

...The effect that selfsame curse has had on me, as patient zero.

As far as I can surmise, I am the first wereplush in the modern age, as any mention of such creatures is... all but nonexistent before now. Before me, there was simply no such thing, no papers written, no need for classification, and that the curse has now reached such a pitch that I feel the need to write all I know on it... well... that stings a little.

"My bad," as they say.

Of course, I'd be a bad scholar if I proclaimed my difficulty in writing about a subject is borne entirely of my proximity to it. No, the challenge in writing this paper has been almost exclusively physical, as you'll soon understand. The transformation I've undergone has been so drastic both in its effect on my body and the changes in my very mind, that I've had to rely on voice transcription to write, which may lend this paper something of a more... conversational... tone than you'd expect.

Still, I carry on, and I hope that the information provided in the following pages serves some use to anyone in the future who needs it- even if it seems more and more likely it's... too late for me.

Section One: Overview

The Curse of the Wereplush is a transformative contagion of wholly magical origin. Insofar as this scholar can tell, there are no records of its creation, no mention of its original creator, and no previous cases before... well, before myself. Though it bears some outward similarity to the likes of lycanthropy in its physical transmission and transformative effects on the victim, hence the name I've given the curse, it differs significantly both in its physical effect and its... peculiar... set of 'rules'.

Upon becoming afflicted with the curse, a victim experiences a rapid set of physical changes after a brief delay, and then further set of physical and mental changes over time. In the short term, usually a few minutes to hours after transmission (depending on, as far as I can ascertain, one's magical resistances,) a victim experiences a rather dramatic physical transformation. Their body, whether previously biological, mechanical, or even magical in nature, becomes a simulacrum of itself made of living fabric and some manner of thick, soft polyfill. Defined shapes become simplified forms, digits lose dexterity, and their eyes become simplistic pseudo-plastic dots. In essence, the victim is transformed into a living plush toy, complete with knitted seams (though no actual yarn or string is visible, as far as I've been able to tell,) and a tag somewhere on their form. In addition, the newly-made Wereplush gains a squeaker somewhere within their body, usually within what was once their abdomen. Though the transformation is dramatic, it isn't painful, and in some ways, the added weight, plushness, and soft, fuzzy "skin" is... rather pleasant...

Given the wildly varied natures of the faefolk, this alone wouldn't register as much of a shock- I've personally met everything from living boulders to a rather talkative sentient volleyball, but this initial set of changes also isn't the most pressing thing about the curse. No, it is what comes next, in the ensuing days, weeks, and months, that truly makes the Wereplush curse unique- and in some ways, insidious.

To be a Wereplush is not an unpleasant thing, if I'm wholly honest. One loses the need to eat, gains impressive flexibility without bones getting in the way, and it's hard to deny just about all victims of the curse are... rather delightful to observe. It would be hard to call it a curse when one is first affected, and indeed, once you're used to your new body, you may even consider it an improvement. But one must not forget that they don't stop changing after this initial metamorphosis, and it is these slower, persistent changes that represent the more... concerning... aspects of the curse.

The first of these changes is mental. Slowly, the pleasantness of being in this new shape changes into a sort of dopey self-affection for the victim. One finds they greatly enjoy squeezing and handling their new form, a sort of mental stimulus not unlike a cat's desire to scratch furniture or a dog's need to wag their tail. Slowly, this need to be handled and squeezed begins to become their primary concern, rendering most other thoughts an easily-forgotten haze at its worst. The harsher edges of one's personality fall away, it becomes harder to grow angry or agitated, and laughter comes easily. A developing Wereplush becomes someone who is delightful and huggable, and this is only made more pronounced by the second change that occurs over time. This characterizes itself as what I can only describe as "pillowfication".

Simply put, the longer one remains a Wereplush, the plusher they become. Limbs become thicker, bellies swell rounder, cheeks fill and fill to crowd out one's snout. After a week or so, a formerly skinny Wereplush may seem to have grown chubby, but after a month, they can hardly hold their increasingly-orbicular body upright. Stuffing eventually crowds one's body in such density that they become a sort of enormous, living mattress, and this process, as far as I can ascertain, does not cease. Even if I wanted to, having been this way for so long now, my digits are too thick to hold a pen, and I could hardly lift either of my arms to do so if I wished, nor see past my own... prodigious... abdomen to boot.

Less... nuanced friends have told me I quite resemble a pink hippopotamus now... if said hippo was the size of a house.

To say I'm soft to the touch, squeezable, well, that would be the understatement of a lifetime, but it is exactly this nigh-comical plushness that presents a problem, for though one is tempted to cuddle a developed Wereplush for all they're worth, it is exactly this process by which the curse is spread- for as I mentioned previously, every Wereplush has a squeaker within their cursed form- and if a non-Wereplush manages to squeak it, usually through such unrestrained contact, the curse is transferred to them.

It almost seems ridiculous, doesn't it? Accidentally get a Wereplush to squeak, and you turn into one. And make no mistake- even at my size, one can easily still strike my own; with how deeply the curse has taken root within me, they even get a rather... dramatic headstart on their pillowfication. The last poor soul who couldn't help themself nearly instantaneously became so round they had to be rolled away, though they did seem quite pleased with themselves...

But I digress. These aspects combined have made the curse quite... astonishingly virulent, and yet they've done so simply by exploiting a desire nearly every living being has- the need to squeeze something soft.

Section Two: Origins, Treatments, Cures(?)

As I've mentioned previously, the origins of the Wereplush curse are a mystery, though I am in a unique position to speak on the original transmission vector. Deep in the Spirit Archives' storerooms, where I've tried to organize yet-uncategorized artifacts before they are studied and displayed, I have boxes upon boxes of smaller objects- pins, buttons, tags, odds and ends. In a moment of clumsiness, I was pricked by a rather nondescript sewing needle, and thinking nothing of it, I tossed it out. That the spot I was poked did not heal, instead forming a patch of strange, felt-feeling fur should have been my first indication that something was amiss, but it was only later that evening, as I readied for bed, that the curse overtook me. By then, the needle was long gone, and all that remains of its origin is the tag now affixed to one of my flanks- one that depicts the very same needle, pulling a length of pink thread, as if taunting my mistake.

Having no shortage of magical know-how at my disposal, I've tried every method I could think of to cure the curse. Brute-force dispelling has no effect, and as a Wereplush cannot eat or drink, potions and alchemy are hardly viable. I've even tried transformation magic in desperation, but even the wildest polymorphing only makes oneself a Wereplush in the shape of a given animal, it does not restore the old form. I must admit, then, that without the original implement of my transformation to study, I am without any other avenues to seek a cure, and finding it- well, that's like finding a literal needle in a proverbial haystack.

With no apparent cure, then, I must turn to treatments, ways to minimize the more... dangerous effects of the curse. Chief among these, for the safety of others, is that under no circumstances must one allow themselves to be cuddled or squeezed by a party not affected by the curse. Though a Plush is a lovely, huggable thing, soft and squishy beyond compare, though it brings us no greater joy than to be needed, loved, cuddled... transmission of the curse under such circumstances isn't simply probable, it's all but assured. To nullify this, I've found that cuddling with other plushes can satisfy the need somewhat, if not entirely. If a non-plush coming in for a hug is unavoidable, try at least to direct them to your tail, if you have one, or less important limbs- squeakers are known to migrate, but this at least helps to reduce risk until the mortal can be made to... restrain themselves.

As for pillowfication... I'm afraid there are even fewer ways to mitigate the onset. There is no visible cause of it, one does not gain weight in the traditional sense, and though one may be tempted to try to pull apart a seam and empty themselves of fluff, as far as I can ascertain, our fabric "skin" is completely unbreakable. Pillowfication is an inevitability once you bear the curse, so the best one can really do is find loose-fitting, comfortable clothing, and get used to their newfound bulk as it grows. Though it isn't much of a silver lining, I can wholly attest that the process is quite comfortable, and if nothing else, the lack of a biological body means one will never become wholly immobile.

I would like to consider this paper a living document, and rest assured- if in my research I can find a cure, I will do my best to disseminate the information promptly, but for now, the best any of us can do is try to mitigate the effects on ourselves and others.

Section Three: Miscellaneous Points

As I've been asked a number of questions that I cannot place within the broader text, and there are peculiarities to the condition I've only recently discovered, I'll try to provide a few below in bullet-point.

As mentioned above, Wereplushes appear to be functionally indestructible. We're fireproof, waterproof, can't be cut, and flattening is really just inconvenient. More aggressive victims have been kept at bay with large weights laid atop them, which work well enough, until they're too plump for the weights to find purchase, anyways.

The process of pillowfication feels not unlike having eaten a large meal, albeit the sense of "fullness" permeates one's entire body. Quite honestly, by this point I feel quite like I've been feasting for ages...

Though lighter than one's biological body at first, as a Wereplush's condition grows more advanced, their internal fluff grows denser. A new plush may be quite soft and malleable, but a deeply pillowfied plush feels like memory foam, and is just as heavy to boot!

A Wereplush's voice can change over time, some becoming squeakier and higher, some deeper and more syrupy, some not changing at all. It is unclear if this holds any significance.

Even if they were once human, a humanoid synthetic, what have you, all Wereplushes seem to take the form of anthropomorphic animals, with more animalistic folk more closely resembling their original form when transformed.

A Wereplush's tag seems to embody some aspect of themselves or the circumstances of their transformation, and is usually a simple pictogram depicting some aspect of their personality or history.

The rate at which a Wereplush pillowfies seems to vary from victim to victim, and the extent of the process appears to be limitless, though it slows once they've grown ploddingly large.

The sensations one feels if they've hit a Wereplush's squeaker, and warning signs that they've been afflicted by the curse, are an immediate sense of lightheadedness, butterflies in the stomach, and difficulty standing upright. These feelings intensify up to the point of transformation, at which point their body changes into their new, plushie self.

It is unclear how many Wereplushes now exist, but given the multidimensional nature of the Spirit Archive, and the decent number of initial and subsequent victims, there could be hundreds, even thousands...

[dr5amatic]

AGAINST THE NIGHT ,

a sentence starter prompts list comprised of quotes from the novel a torch against the night by sabaa tahir. please be advised that this list may involve topics including, but not limited to, murder, death, and violence. change verbiage as needed.

how did they find us so fast?

if your sins were blood, you would drown in a river of your own making.

you ask what am i, but what are you?

stay out of the way. no matter how bad it looks, don't interfere, don't try to help.

when the fear takes over, use the only thing more powerful, more indestructible, to fight it: your spirit. your heart.

we have to keep going. we have to get out of the city.

if something happens to me, don't fear.

you took long enough. i’ve waited hours.

if you think i need an army to destroy you, you are mistaken.

don’t falter now, fool. you’ll regret it.

bad luck to lie to a comrade-in-arms.

do you enjoy it? the hurt you cause? the pain? i can see it. you carry it with you. why? does it bring you happiness?

i don’t mean to–i don’t want to hurt people.

you destroy all those who get close to you.

you are dead, you just don’t know it yet.

you’ve been blacked out for hours. i thought you might not wake up.

don’t you dare fade out on me again.

i can’t do this without you.

stay. don’t go back. i need you.

i’m going to hurt you. i hurt everyone. 

try to stay. you were gone for so long last time, and i need you to stay.

tell me another story. tell me another memory. something good.

if you care for [name], then do not let [name] care for you.

like the poison that rages within you, you have no antidote.

willpower alone cannot change one’s fate.

thirteen fractures is nothing.

i’m about as good with tears as i am with declarations of love.

every time i stare into your eyes, i see my nightmares.

now you seem older and harder and, perhaps most terrifyingly, wiser.

he insisted that killing you would lead to my doom.

to be honest, i’m tempted to slit your throat just to see what happens. perhaps i still will.

i’m yours to command, my lord.

i don’t have allies. i have people who owe me things and people who want things and people who use me and people whom i use.

you swore to be the sword that executes my will. now is the chance to prove your loyalty.

i need him dead and i want you to be the one who kills him. 

i want you to watch the light die in his eyes. i want him to know it’s the person he cares for most in the world who shoved a blade through his heart.

i want it to haunt you for all your days.

he’s sly enough to escape the bounty hunters quite easily, but you and i both know that he would never be able to escape you.

how do i kill the man i love?

forgive me, but how can you speak to me of obsession?

small victories have made you daring. do not let them make you stupid.

you have your orders. carry them out.

it will destroy you if you’re not careful.

would you care to hear my theory?

your injuries tell me you’ve seen battle.

the problem with greedy people is that they think everyone is as greedy as they are.

we’re surrounded.

i’ll catch you.

almost there. stay with me now.

i’m glad you’re alright and i know you’re risking so much to do this for me. thank you.

you kept me alive. you kept yourself alive. 

you’re as brave as your mother. don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

i can’t help the people i’ve hurt. i can’t change what i did to them. 

if i do this, then perhaps i’ll make up for some of the evil i’ve brought into this world.

how sure are you?

as long as you want to save him, then i will help you. i made a vow. i’m not going to break it.

i swore fealty. you made me swear fealty.

i trusted you. i believed you. i did what you wanted.

do not let despair take you. hold true to your heart.

this is what it means to have faith, to believe in something greater than yourself.

the blood, it won’t come off. it’s–it’s everywhere. 

most successful missions are just a series of badly averted disasters.

either we lost them, or they’re being very clever about keeping themselves hidden. i’m thinking the latter.

you want to talk now? after weeks of not even looking at me?

i look at you even when i shouldn’t.

i am the last person who will judge you for killing in your own defense. look at what i am. look at my life.

i left you alone because i thought you might find comfort in solitude. 

so much death. it’s everywhere. what’s the point then of living? will i ever escape it?

your emotions make you human. even the unpleasant ones have a purpose. don’t lock them away. if you ignore them, they just get louder and angrier.

why do you do that? you close yourself up. you shut me out because you don’t want me to get close. what about what i want? you won’t hurt me, [name].

i don’t trust you, not about this.

do not pull rank with me.

don’t take offense, but i don’t know you. so you’ll forgive me if i don’t trust you.

how long until they kill each other, d’you think? and who strikes first?

i won’t hurt you, but you can’t let fear take you.

i’m hurt, [name]. you’re not nearly as friendly as the first time we met.

if you do betray me, i will not go down without a fight.

even your ally is helping us. more reason for you to do the same.

you didn’t get to where you are by breaking promises. grant my favor. fighting it is a waste of time.

it has changed you, [name]. it does matter.

always so afraid of the darkness within. don’t you see? so long as you fight the darkness, you stand in the light.

i’ve been looking all over for you. stay with me! we have to get out of here.

i’ll distract them and meet you there.

you were my best friend. i can’t just throw that away.

don’t. don’t call me that. everybody calls me that. but not you..

i wouldn’t expect you to understand.

i have to leave, but i don’t want to hurt you. i’m so sick of hurting people.

i miss you. i’ll always miss you. even when I’m a ghost.

keep your head down and stay.

family is worth dying for, killing for. fighting for them is all that keeps us going when everything else is gone.

i know what it is to do things that you don’t want to for a greater good.

you are my temple. you are my priest. you are my prayer. you are my release.

we both know I’m not long for this world.

exhaustion makes for failed missions.

i’m the reason he’s dead.

sleep where you wish. i will not disturb you.

atop all else, are you an oathbreaker too?

keep your vow to me, and i will bring order to this empire. betray me, and watch it burn.

i hope i see you again.

forget that you did not say goodbye–you did not even give me a chance to object to your decision.

secrets are a snake’s way of doing business.

the vow I made to you, it was all for nothing.

most people are nothing but glimmers in the great darkness of time. but you, [name], are no swift-burning spark. you are a torch against the night–if you dare to let yourself burn.

you see assurances. i can offer you none.

breaking your fealty will have its cost, as will keeping it. only you can weigh those costs.

you think knowing will make it easier, but knowing makes it worse.

knowing is a curse.

stay alive. protect them. help any others you can. that’s the only payment i expect i’ll get.

what honor is there in a useless death?

how’s this for a trade: you tell me what i want, and i don’t gut you.

in the cold, you don’t realize how much you’re pushing yourself. you’ll collapse if you’re not careful.

we won’t get anywhere if we’re dead.

you’ll exhaust yourself into illness.

pain is how you know you loved her.

i wish didn’t remember. i wish i didn’t love her.

what point is there in being human if you don’t let yourself feel anything?

you’re not afraid. why aren’t you afraid?

true suffering lies in the expectation of pain as much as in the pain itself.

are we fools for finding comfort in the midst of such madness?

what is there to live for if not the moments of joy? what is there to fight for?

give me your guilt, i’ll hold it for you.

why didn’t you listen to me? look at you.

you always think everyone is your responsibility, but we’re not.

you are loved, you are not alone, and you deserve to know that.

you said i didn’t have to do it alone.

you brood and make questionable choices that put your own life at risk, but you’re a good person.

failure doesn’t define you. it’s what you do after you fail that determines whether you are a leader or a waste of perfectly good air.

what did we fight for if it was just going to end like this?

it is as if your very fate is to leave a trail of destruction.

you have repented long enough.

[gunraekae]

Newton's Law of Universal Gravitation

Newton by William Blake

>ikemen vampire

>isaac newton x thicc reader

>a/n: suggestive short based on this meme I saw on ig. minors dni or I'll tell your mom!!

Isaac likes them thicc

 Isaac Newton’s most well-known law of gravity: the greater the mass, the greater the force of attraction. It was about gravity but with the way Isaac’s eyes raked over your body, you could apply it to your situation now. 

“Isaac, is something the matter?” The timid scientist’s eyes snapped up to yours, its sinful trip down your soaked body interrupted. The both of you had fallen into the fountain earlier, and to your delight, you believed that Isaac had finally stepped out of his shell and grew comfortable with you. With some laughter at your rotten luck and an irritated carriage driver later, the two of you sat inside the bumbling vehicle back to the mansion. Isaac gave you his coat to cover up, but you caught his lingering gaze on your body. Your own face wasn’t spared from warmth with the knowledge that your loose clothes now stuck tight, your every roll accentuated and presented to the world. Or at the moment, to your dear Isaac. He’s probably shocked at how big I am. He’s used to petite French girls with tiny waists, or delicate English ladies. He probably thinks I look so dis—

“Forgive me, MC! I was just—oh dear—this is most improper of me—” Isaac stumbled over his words, his face hot with shame and his eyes dark with an emotion you can’t quite place. He would avert his eyes around the carriage but an unexplainable urge kept pulling his eyes back to your body. It was such enigmatic behaviour, but if you could describe it he looked almost… hungry. 

“It’s alright. I apologize for looking so… uncouth. It’s not a pretty sight.” You hugged Isaac’s coat tighter, praying you could take up less space. Not only did you embarrass yourself in front of your favourite resident, his poor eyes had to witness such a horrid sight. Isaac’s face melted from its shameful expression into one of confusion. The problem he was facing certainly had to do with your appearance; not with its unattractiveness—the very opposite, in fact. Isaac, as a true gentleman, couldn’t very well tell you of the depraved thoughts circling his mind…burning through his veins…and alighting his manhood. You were too precious for him to outright confess his yearning for your body; you were too important and he cared for you beyond the sinful attraction he harboured at the moment. He vowed he would never act like Arthur, rakish, immoral, and unable to resist pleasure. With how desperately Isaac wished to worship every curve under that soaked shirt, he’s reminded again of how badly he desired you. Those damn buttons. He could almost picture how he would claw at each one… or would he gently undo them to tease you? No, he knew that if you allowed him, all sense of composure would leave his mind. He was far more likely to just rip that godforsaken shirt apart to expose your beautiful breasts. The thought was far too enticing: your pretty little face tinged with shyness but your eyes with a touch of eagerness. His greedy hands wouldn’t hesitate, relishing in the softness of your breasts while he trailed his sharp teeth down to your nipples—

You cleared your throat. Isaac had been staring at you again, his eyes even darker with that same hunger as before. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. In a battle for self-restraint, he tilted his head, licking his dry lips. It wouldn’t be safe for him to lose control. His aberration would fuel that desperate urge for you even more than it had before. The sight of Isaac’s irritation was far too attractive. His sharp jawline was clenched, his Adam’s apple bobbed as his fingers loosened his tie with surprising strength. His now-behaved gaze lay on your feet. He looks so uncomfortable… While wishing for the carriage driver to make haste, Isaac finally cast his eyes to yours, tinged with barely contained self-restraint. 

“It’s nothing that you’re doing, MC… I’m afraid I just—“ his breath shifted as he allowed his gaze to fall to your chest again, “can’t hold myself back anymore.” 

A bump on the road violently rocked the carriage but Isaac’s strong hands steadied your hips down on your seat. His warm body, now far closer than before, inched even more. Isaac dared to inch his face closer to where the sweet scent of your body was the strongest. In a way, burying his face in your neck would prevent you from witnessing his unravelling restraint, but selfishly, Isaac was just tempted to sink his teeth into your soft skin. His voice was right next to your ear. “You look far too delectable right now.” Isaac’s words only made your blood course faster through your body. It was too hot with Isaac right there. What’s gotten into him? He must be feeling sick because why else would he be saying all this? 

“Où est-ce que je tourne?” The carriage driver yelled out. 

Isaac’s breath warmed your ear. “Tournez à droite au coin, s'il vous plaît,” he replied, not taking his eyes away from yours. Knowing you were almost at the mansion brought both relief and disappointment. Seeing Isaac’s normally stiff composure fall apart because he saw a glimpse of your body was… riveting, to say the least. When else would you get to see his handsome face all warm and needy? For someone like you, who normally never caught the attention of others being worshipped with a single gaze… could you really blame yourself for wanting to revel in the pleasure a bit longer? 

Whatever sinful spell Isaac was under faded the closer the carriage was to the mansion. Isaac, with newfound boldness, kissed your neck once… twice… and when the carriage driver announced the arrival, he left one last lingering kiss on your collarbone. When the doors opened, he helped you down like a proper gentleman. As he held your hand, he squeezed your fingers longingly before leaving to pay the driver.

[theediviners]

𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐏𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐜 𝐀𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬

Collaborative PAC between @astrodoll2 , @neptunianrose, @m00nt4r0t , & @daarlingdatura

PILE ONE @astrodoll2

For this pile I’m seeing your strongest psychic abilities is your ability to manifest into the physical whatever it is you desire, you’d also be really good at witchcraft for this reason especially working with herbs and earthly things, a practical routine could suit you very well especially if you’re more of a logical person the more steps there is to something the more you may believe it’ll actually work since your putting effort into something you also without realizing it are putting intentions into it and greater energy which allows the power to manifest. You can manifest very quickly and easily especially with finances and material luxuries. You bring a lot of stability financially to yourself but you attract it most when you yourself are feeling stable and calm within, for as how they manifest whenever you’re generous with your resources and what you have to offer you receive it back 10 fold, you can be very fortunate and attract a lot of good luck but you could lose it just as quickly if you start doubting yourself, becoming worried or rushing/forcing things by being impulsive due to fear, since your mindset has alot to do with what you’re attracting over thinking negatively will do you any favors on the contrary the more you let go the more you bring in, don’t be impulsive but don’t be afraid to be bold and take risks, along with manifesting you can make actual wishes just by summoning your spirit guides and they will abide. How to strengthen this ability, well like I was saying before your mind needs to be at a relaxed state, meditation is recommended for you, don’t hold onto pains or past failures, you really need to let go of a lot of negative self talk or doubts within that create these limiting beliefs and cause resistance to your manifestions, speaking out loud in your room alone what it is you want like making a request to the universe or your guides, subliminals could help, don’t volunteer in gossip since it only attracts that back. Being optimistic and stable in the knowing that it will manifest is how you will bring it to you and once you start manifesting little things and keep seeing it come to fruition it will build your confidence and help you manifest a lot smoother because I see you will be a master at this once you’ve improved on your self worth especially, working on self concept is great but also because I feel like you may subconsciously feel like you aren’t deserving of all these luxuries you could get or feeling like you should work harder because you’ve heard others say things don’t come easy or money doesn’t grow on trees but honestly that is just a mindset which is why alot of people will stay at that point for basically their whole lives, so don’t let it be you, because I see that you’re meant to have all your desires as well all are but for you it will initially come easier maybe because you’ve had past lives where you were extremely good at manipulating energy so it’ll be natural once you get the hang of it. Let go and let flow. PILE TWO @neptunianrose

Beautiful are the gifts that have been bestowed upon you but the best of them all is your healing ability! Your words are melting walls away, caressing wounds, making worries disappear. Specifically, anything that is related to one's childhood and most innocent years can be so easily healed and through your help! You can identify hidden traumas and cuts. There are times when you think you've said the wrong things and get the truth is that you just hit clode to home, even without intending to. I like your energy if I am being honest. Your gift can be used as a weapon as well but that won't ever be the case cause you don't want to create pain. I am reminded of Katara from Avatar and her amazing skills. If you do intent to expand these parts of yourself you could become quite well known for it. There are many energy healing methods, reiki being the first to pop up in my head, which I recommend you to look into. Whichever stands out to you the best can be the gateway to a whole new path that will bring light into your life. Spiritualism seems important for you and your purpose! I usually dislike talking about things as if they are set in stone but you are clearly meant to use your inclination towards the mystical for helping people. Healing can be in itself a way for you to tend to your own wounds and help you process your grief better. I got the six of cups which makes me think that you can specifically access someone's inner child and fantasies. They feel safe enough around you to allow this aspect come to light and be shown to you (and that only tells us what a beautiful soul you have!). I want to say that, as rare as they might be, occasions in which your gift is turned against others are not impossible. Us humans can be defensive when pushed to, even the kindest of all. So don't underestimate your desire to hurt when you yourself are experiencing a big amount of anger. This is just an advice coming from the source to prevent you from causing too much damage (don't forget you are a human though and mistakes can be made).

What I am about to say in this part is very similar to the paragraph above but, with enough patience, you could easily channel any secret or hidden information. You have a psychic ability which you're unaware of that helps you remove the shadows and see what usually lurks inside of them. You have definitely used it unintentionally at times and most likely thought it was just intrusive thoughts but oh my, that is so far from the truth! I do feel like there is more to your gifts that have been revealed today but you must work on these for now before diving deeper.

PILE THREE @m00nt4r0t

okayy so as soon as i lit my incense, the flame was big and continued to grow in size. it was a bit hard for me to blow it out at first, but don't worry, i did lol. to me, this indicates very fiery and passionate energy, and that it must be contained before it gets out of control and engulfs everything in it's path.

what are your unique psychic abilities? i feel like a major psychic ability you possess is the power to avert danger away from you and others. there's this very protective, nurturing essence that surrounds you and basically scares away danger itself. i feel like the reason you have this is because of your emotional, loving and creative nature. you could've gone through some dark, traumatic experiences that have caused you to have this "man-eater" vibe (although the phrase specifies men, i mean it for any gender.) you have a very deep, emotional side to you that is very nurturing and caring, and you protect it with a harsh demeanor. you are a very passionate person and i wouldn't be surprised if you triggered heavy amounts of passion in others by simply just existing and doing your thing. you could be reposting whatever resonates with your energy and this inspires others to step more into the energy that you naturally possess. you are someone who is very influencing, whether you try to be or not. if you have any siblings, whether they're older or younger than you, i feel like they definitely look up to you and admire your style and your way of being. if they're older, then you influence them to indulge in more "youthful" trends and whatnot. okay, i'm also getting that part of your psychic abilities could be making others sick?? like, if they do wrong by you or have ill intentions with you, they become sick or their skin starts to break out, or maybe even someone they love gets sick. you also cause others to fear changes with you? like, whether the change is good or bad, people you connect with tend to be a bit intimidated by you and aren't very good at reading your emotions nor your energy, so they may think that certain things they say and do will cause a transformation in the connection.  also, you have the ability to take on a lot at once. even if you don't think so, you are very good at multi-tasking. i also think that you're most spiritually powerful whenever you're sitting down (or during moments of personal peace and stillness.) you have a lot of passed on loved ones by your side whom are also pretty powerful and they are part of the reason that others get sick whenever they cross you. also, i feel like your power heavily includes your knowledge and your wittiness. you're someone who knows a lot more than they say and this makes you so so so powerful. i feel like people know you know a lot, but they don't know what you know so this can be a bit intimidating to a lot of people. you may also know a lot of secrets which could include other people's secrets and secrets of the universe. i feel like you're more than capable of communicating with those on the other side and you could've been doing so since you were very young. i also feel like your family may be very similar to you in this way, even if they don't believe it. if you have an altar then this is increasing your psychic abilities more than you may have expected it to. lastly… your seductive energy is immaculate and every time you step into this type of energy, it grows stronger and stronger. i'm seeing an aura just expanding and engulfing more and more people within it. i don't want to get to explicit so i'll just say this: if you haven't studied sex magic, you probably should. also, adding your sexual energy into whatever you create will be extremely magnetising, so keep that in mind.

how do your psychic abilities manifest? your psychic abilities manifest in a way that makes others want to cling onto your energy for dear life. people refuse to let go of you. even if they don't speak to you, they will still think of you, check up on you online, ask people about you, be inspired by you, etc.  i feel like there's a lot of people from your past who are "stuck" on you, even those who claim not to like you (they're literally in love with you.) and although i said you avert danger, i feel like danger still lingers. to give you a visual, i imagine danger as some person looking at you through the window of your house; they can't get in, but they are watching. this could be in terms of evil eye and baneful magick towards you. i'm also getting that your abilities manifest in the way that others speak to you and about you. for example, people tend to feel very seduced by you so they flirt with you. another example, people don't want the connection with you to change so they over-explain and basically kiss your ass to stay on great terms with you. this feels kind of obvious but your abilities manifest in forms of creativity and random moments of intense inspiration that you get. if you randomly get the urge to write a song, write a book, draw something or make a piece of clothing, it's because your abilities are looking for an energetic outlet. you may tend to keep your abilities to yourself but they are begging to be released and seen/heard by others (3:33 on my clock) because whenever you do something creating, it is being driven by the powers you have within you and you're pretty much doing magick by creating, even if it is just a piece of clothing or writing on a paper. your abilities manifest in the littlest things you do, whether it be taking a bath, smoking a cigarette, laughing at something funny, dressing up to go out. all of it is, of course, inspired by your psychic abilities because they're so magnetizing that even you tend to get hypnotized by them. however, i do feel like whenever you're feeling extremely angry/sad/bitter, then it can manifest some chaos into your life if you don't release these emotions as calmly and quickly as possible. bottling up your emotions is not at all good for you and those around you because of how powerful you naturally are. i feel like you don't have to worry too much because of the fact that you're very protected, but it's still important to keep that in mind. your abilities also manifest in the way that you love and care for others, so i can definitely see a protective shield around those you love simply just because you love them. your abilities may also manifest in those you love and they become more enlightened in their own ways.

how to strengthen your gifts: as i shuffled an image of someone smoking (specifically a blunt, but could be anything) came into my head, so i think that smoking certain herbs (please study which herbs are safe to smoke) can strengthen your abilities! i feel like even smoking marijuana could be beneficial (when monetized) because it can help you analyze more and open up your mind. but, of course, marijuana does not impact everyone the same, so only take that if it resonates. also, meditate!!! meditation really helps to clear the mind of any excess "junk" floating around in there and helps for clearer intuition. if you already meditate, then maybe meditating for a few more minutes or lighting an incense while you meditate could enhance the effects. deep breaths will help you clear your mind as well. this is a pretty obvious one but the more shadow work you do, the stronger your abilities become. i feel like your abilities get "watered down" after long moments of not doing shadow work; this could be for many different reasons but a specific reason i'm getting is because when you don't do shadow work, you tend to be a bit more impulsive/chaotic therefore your abilities weaken for your own good. your abilities strengthen whenever you challenge yourself and allow some healthy competition into your energy. also, sleep!! when you get the amount of sleep that you need, it's easier to control and hone in on your abilities. whenever you take time to be alone and self-reflect, realign yourself and do shadow work, your abilities strengthen immensely. another way that you can strengthen your gifts is simply by not giving up; this shows that you're more than capable of what you got and that you're ready for more. 

PILE FOUR @daarlingdatura This is an interesting pile, I see that you may be someone who is able to predict loss, disaster, and other "negative" events. You are someone who's abilities are deeply rooted in their emotions & the impressions of energy around them. You're reflective, "like a pond" I heard. It's important that you take ample rest from social situations as necessary. I definitely see here that you may be someone who also knows how to like... take on the minds of other people? You can think through their heads if that makes sense. I also sense that you may be able to channel energy or intentions through your hands to bless, heal, hex, curse, or effect things in some way. It's interesting because I definitely feel like your nightmares could end up often being signs. You may also unintentionally dream walk, I see that you may also be prone to anxiety that isn't yours. It's important you cleanse regularly to avoid any entities taking advantage of you.

I see that you may have many more psychic abilities that you don't fully understand or that are still currently dormant. I definitely see that you are being prepped to develop extremely intense abilities. It reminds me of how in Wednesday her mom is a dove & she's considered a raven. You would be a raven, the way that you tend to pick up on danger & hidden information. You usually see through people very clearly, though at times the images can become distorted if you become close enough to the person. When you become incredibly close with someone there can be a sort of energetic merging. Where you're both in limbo drowning in each other's energy. I heard pathological, your abilities deeply deal with the mind & I feel called to say death as well.

I wouldn't be surprised if you have predicted deaths or if you have dreams where the dead appear to you with messages. I feel this has past life roots, it may be possible that you have a divine connection with death and the dead. You may find as you grow closer to people they are forced to shed old skins and rebirth themselves anew. In some ways you are a catalyst, but in a less explosive way. Your energy reminds me of a snake- which I think is beautiful. In ancient times, especially near the middle east female deities were often depicted as snakes or dragons. So this is definitely giving ancient energy. As your gifts develop you may begin to see/hear dead people, you could also develop insanely vivid visions. Some of the people in this pile have already begun developing this gift. I do have a slight warning here, make sure you regularly cleanse and ground. You are extremely connected & it's imperative that you prioritize your health. Your service or abilities either could already be highly sought after or will become highly sought after.