#i am STILL inspired by that talking cat video

[hoodreader]

cat women — vedic astrology.

i think cat woman is one of the most inspiring vigilantes for the ‘dark feminine’. she’s mystical, intuitive, cunning, flirtatious, & seductive. so when my friend & i were talking about the krittika nakshatra. she made a connection between krittika & animal textiles then i had the sudden realization that krittika reoccurs in the charts of people who play or dress as her.

i think this is because krittika is the blade; it means “the cutter.” whether the native has aries krittika or taurus krittika, the qualities persist. there’s always an iconic cat woman scene where cat woman uses her razor-sharp nails to cut a hole through glass. this also shows not only physical blades, but blades of the tongue, ie being “silver tongued” and/or having a “sharp” mind. the krittika nakshatra is very cutthroat. this also reminds me of that iconic whip scene, and the phrase “sharp as a whip.” sharpness is commonly used as a term to also describe someone’s intelligence… but also them being good-looking.

i also find that krittika nakshatra in women is highly sexy & desired, but due to the dark nature of krittika, a krittika woman is not wanted without adversity. this nakshatra is also associated with “splitting / cutting” up relationships & being “the other woman.” in a way, men deal with an inner conflict when being involved with the krittika woman. i think it’s because martian or solar qualities over a woman causes insecurity in men who are not secure with themselves. the type of men who hate you because they hate themselves. so these men project. there’s no way a woman like that could simply be liked, she must’ve seduced him.

and i feel that’s because the krittika woman is not the “ideal” woman. she’s not demure, she’s not passive, she’s not insecure, and she doesn’t depend heavily on the men around her. instead, she’s dominant, assertive, flirtatious. she cuts her hair short. and she’s sometimes androgynous in presentation, but still so sexy. and it drives men and women crazy. the presence of other planets being in anuradha, ashlesha, jyeshtha, bharani, mrigashira, etc can also strengthen these “dark” qualities in a krittika woman.

! halle berry is probably the most iconic cat woman in modern pop culture. she’s a krittika rahu, with an ashlesha sun.

halle berry’s role was so iconic, i think she informs the way modern actresses give their takes on cat woman, which is why we see so many of them having krittika placements. for example:

— ariana grande recreated cat woman in her “the boy is mine” music video. she’s a krittika venus & jyeshtha north node. — normani dressed up as cat woman for one halloween. she’s a krittika mars, as well as a bharani mercury. — zoë kravitz is a krittika jupiter & anuradha sun + mercury. — saweetie dressed as cat woman for halloween [?] and she’s another krittika venus. — naomi campbell did a shoot as cat woman, and she’s a krittika sun. i don’t know if that naomi shoot was before after halle berry’s movie but i digress.

kinda unrelated side note. my point about “the other woman” rings so true for the reputation ariana got. halle berry also applies, as she’s been in three marriages thus at least two separations. saweetie for her allegations with cheating. and so on. krittika can be a little romantically corrupted, but i think that’s why it translates into something so irresistible. in a “i’m not supposed to be doing this” way. i myself am a krittika venus, and i never cheated on someone or have been “the other woman” bc why the fuck would i do that to myself lol. buttt i will say that people usually start liking me when they know they shouldn’t. as a rebound, while they’re involved with someone, rebellious fetish, them pursuing me but hating the type of person i am because they want me to conform. like an exercise of conquest.

anyways… this is what i noticed of krittika and cat woman. hope y’all enjoyed my ramble. :P

[afreakingdork]

You Are My Sunshine, My Only Moonshine - Chapter 9

RotTMNT x Reader

I am constantly blown away by this chapter art by @yamin-yups

Rated: Teen and Up Audiences

Relationships: Michelangelo (TMNT)/Reader, Michelangelo (TMNT)/You, Donatello (TMNT)/Reader, Donatello (TMNT)/You

Warnings: POV Second Person, Gender Neutral Reader, Anxious Reader, Introverted Reader, Stuttering, Aged-Up Mutant Ninja Turtles, Romance, Love, Love Confessions, Falling In Love, Unrequited Love, Rejection, Aromantic Asexual Michelangelo (TMNT), Bisexual Donatello (TMNT), Pansexual Leonardo (TMNT), Lesbian Cassandra Jones | Foot Recruit, Demisexual April O'Neil (TMNT), Implied Cassandra Jones | Foot Recruit/April O'Neil/Sunita, Endgame Donatello (TMNT)/Reader, Romantic Love, Platonic Love, Panic Attacks, Sexuality Crisis, Agoraphobia, Social Anxiety, Happy Ending, Fluff

Synopsis:  You’ve lost most of your life to anxiety and fear. Now, in your late 20s, you are desperate to reclaim it and during one such outing you encounter the sun personified. With his and his similarly celestially inspired family, will you finally reach your goal or will you lose yourself along the way?

This chapter contains reference to body dysmorphia. Remember that what you feel is completely valid, but we can sometimes see ourselves differently than we really are. Please keep yourselves safe.

Also available on Ao3

First 💛 Previous

“Maybe we take a break from going out into the packed public for once?” Mikey was upside-down, but compensated by holding his phone the opposite way. 

It put him right side up in the video chat, but the view was extra blurry. “Is that… okay?”

“I’m the one suggesting it!” Mikey stuck out his tongue, but his reflection seemed to confuse him on which way the appendage should go. “It’s been awhile. I haven’t been able to see you.”

“Yeah… well…” Though for you it would have been predictable, Mikey hadn’t felt the firsthand effects of your setbacks yet. 

Panic attacks always caused you to withdraw into yourself. 

You weren’t supposed to.

There were times when it was easy to keep going.

Others, such as now, left you homebound for as long as society allowed.

The push to normalcy now included your thoughtful friend.

“Do you know after my tremors went away, I spent months avoiding art because I was afraid of how it would look?” Mikey told you casually. 

You weren’t sure what he was talking about.

You tried to recall something about tremors, but came up short.

You wanted to ask more, but there was a more startling aspect than the content itself.

You couldn’t believe there was ever a period where Mikey avoided art as he had been nothing, but a loud proponent of all its merit.

“Why?”

“Because I knew my level and then… I didn’t. I knew I’d have to get back there. It was like riding a skateboard, but needing to take that time? For a second time. Chancing the bad result? It was like my healing was one thing and then by doing that it would show me just how much further I still needed to go. Like that dude with the cat and the box. I didn’t want to open it and find out. I couldn’t do it.”

“Isn’t the saying… something… about riding a bike?”

“We were skateboard tots!” Mikey rolled over and with it so did his camera, inverting the image.

You nodded lightly.

“I switched up crafts. Started new ones that weren’t so finger focused. Pour paints and candle work!” He made grabby hands at the lens as he fixed his phone angle.

“Something low key…” You hummed where you were sitting at the foot of your bed.

“Yeah, something quiet, calm, and… oh! Oh yeah!” There was another flip, but this one was out of excitement.

“D-don’t… bust through a wall…!”

Mikey appeared within a flurry of static. “Did you just make a Kool-Aid Man joke?”

“I make jokes!”

The wattage of his smile turned up to a blinding degree. “Well then I’ve got just the wall to bust through!”

-

“No.” Donnie glowered over his shoulder.

“Please!” Mikey bounced his plea with his head straight up to the ceiling of the garage you were currently in.

An oddity in the subway, but something you imagined had to exist based on logic, your eyes were openly roving around the tidy depot.

“Absolutely not.” Lifting out from under a hood and minding his head, Donnie craned an elbow to the engine block he was working on. “You know you’ve been banned.”

“One time!” Mikey groaned.

“No!” Donnie felt the need to rip off his leather work gloves to throw an unencumbered finger in Mikey’s face. “You were banned once after crashing eleven separate times!!”

“Eleven?!” You squeaked.

Mikey flipped back and forth between the two of you, obviously caught in who to address first. “My driving is fine!” He chose you and then flipped to Donnie. “I’ve changed!”

From the duffel that was slung around your body, you had already been clinging to the strap as it gave you something comforting to hold on to. With the new knowledge that you had almost been driven somewhere rural by someone with that kind of driving record, you now scooped up the entire sack to soothe yourself. 

“Forget that.” Donnie flicked his gaze to you. “You’d need a full crash suit to survive him.” He then folded his gloves into a pair and went to check his tool box.

You wilted further.

“We’re already packed!” Mikey rounded a new argument. “This is going to be our big, no-stress, relaxing getaway and you’re making it exactly not that!” 

“That’s unfortunate. The bus station isn’t far.” Donnie knelt down to get a wrench.

“And how’s that going to work!? We get dropped at some station and walk to the cabin!? You know it’s in the middle of nowhere!” Mikey stepped up to throw menace over his brother.

Donnie smelled it a mile away and lifted his head, pouring twice the malice. “Oh, you want to play?”

Mikey gulped and nodded his head once. “Let us borrow a car, the tank, a shell cycle, whatever! You’re being unfair!”

“Your planning is poor.” Donnie was slow to get on one knee. “You’re ill equipped.” To the other, he got a foot under him. “You’ve informed no one.” Rising to his towering height above his brother, he loomed. “You walk into my garage, where I am in the midst of my own personal and much needed zen in the form of refurbishing my newest baby and expect me to drop the keys of another into your hands knowing full well that you have destroyed more vehicles on more occasions than I can count on our joined mutant fingers and toes because you just so happened to suddenly decided that you needed to take a weekend trip with your friend of which whom you have a similar slapdash scheme going on with to go to our family’s cabin up north on a whim!?!”

Having watched Donnie not take a single breath, you backed up nearly the same distance that Mikey’s head had shrunk down into his shell.

“Y-yes?” Mikey peeped.

“No.” Donnie said the word firm and quiet, but punctuated it with a tap to Mikey’s plastron which caused the stiff turtle to fall over. “Now leave me to my work.”

Only a shell laying there, you leaned forward to look over Mikey without compromising your spot.

Donnie swung his wrench and moved over to a creeper with the intention to disappear under what looked like a turtle-themed moon buggy.

“You-” Your voice echoed in the garage and you tensed up.

Mikey’s head emerged from his shell to peek at you.

Donnie halted his motion, but didn’t turn.

“You… um… could… come with us?”

You watched Donnie’s lips wobble with disdain.

“N-Not a-as a d-driver! Y-you said…”

In a loud pop, all of Mikey’s limbs emerged. “That’s a great idea!!!”

In a smooth rotation, Donnie both turned and lifted his wrench with a threat.

Mikey crab walked several paces away.

“I’m disappointed.” Donnie sent a glare in your direction. “If your thought is even-” He caught a glimpse of his wrench. “-5/16ths as moronic as his then you are banned from the garage itself. Know that, would you still like to continue speaking?”

Gaze plummeting, your heart tried to escape and you screwed the whole of you shut to keep it inside.

Your entire body shook with the force of your nerves and you had to wait until your BPMs dropped to a manageable limit before you could manage speech. “You… said… m-much needed… so maybe… the trip would… well… be calming… for you too?”

There was a clink of metal hitting the ground.

Banned.

You were banned from the garage.

That was fine.

In theory, it wasn’t.

In theory, you were mortified.

Despite your best efforts, you had never been banned from anything.

Now you were.

A glaring dark spot on your permanent record.

Was Mikey a bad influence?

“You do say driving gets your mind off things…” Mikey said with a sudden supportive starkness.

You kept your gaze firmly rooted to the floor in shame.

“Also hold up!” In a slap of feet against concrete, Mikey righted himself. “You take a few of those things back, Don! I may have pushed the idea through, but it was not poorly planned or ill equipment or whatever you said! Y/N worked crazy hard on putting together everything in the short time frame I laid out!!”

You twitched.

“There’s maps, multiple trails marked, a calculated amount of water, with extra rations, flares… Like do you think this other bag is mine? Heck no! I’m not bringing anything! Both these bags are Y/N’s! They’re both stuffed with… stuff! Like-like!” You felt Mikey come over to you. “How you contacted the ranger’s station to tell them we’d be in the area? I’ve never even thought of that! We’ve never done that have we, Dee?”

Donnie continued his bout of silence that you didn’t dare look upon.

“What else…?” Mikey slapped his forehead. “I mean, come on! I can’t even remember it all!”

“I… got that satellite phone… you were pretty excited… about it.” You mumbled to the ground.

“With the backup batteries, Donald!” Mikey hummed a self-important sound. “The backup batteries!!”

The garage made it very clear that Donnie was walking over to you.

You bounced ever so slightly to garner the courage to meet his eye.

“Who did itinerary?” Donnie asked. 

“Me.” Mikey remarked casually.

“I assume food too?” Donnie’s voice was heavy with judgment. 

“Nope.” You could see a swoop as Mikey folded smug arms.

“That’s not quite…” You cleared your throat. “Mikey… shared his… favorite dishes that you… all make…when you… go.”

Donnie dipped into your eye line and you startled.

He’d bent at his waist and come down at a perfect angle.

You stared with warped lips.

“How long?” He narrowed his gaze.

“T-the trip?” Your gaze wobbled.

Mikey opened his mouth and Donnie threw out an arm that, by the sound, must have slapped the younger in the face.

“Yes.” Donnie kept his hand in place.

“Tonight… tomorrow… back Sunday?”

“Is that a question?” Donnie’s head tilted.

Mikey grunted, annoyed.

“No…” You got out, quiet.

“You agreed knowing full well you’d be alone with him?”

Slapped with a similar heat from the first time you’d realized that fact, you gave a tight nod.

‘We have separate rooms!’ Mikey mumbled through closed lips with surprising clarity.

“And that’s okay?” Donnie disappeared.

You chased him up to find he’d released Mikey and was waiting on him for an answer.

“It’s a no brainer.” Mikey nearly rolled his eyes. 

Donnie’s brow lowered, unsatisfied.

“Yes, it’s okay because it isn’t a thing.” Mikey huffed around his clarification.

“I suppose… I’ve been persuaded.” Donnie looked down thoughtfully and you watched him trace back to where he’d dropped his wrench.

Mikey jumped into the air with a sudden bout of energy and caught your hands to spin you.

“Y-y-yay!” You stutter, stalling on the rotation.

“Cabin, here we come, baby!” Mikey cheered. 

“I need my things!” Donnie barked. “And you.”

You jolted. “Y-yes?”

“You will send me triplicate copies of your plans.”

“S-sure…” You spastically patted yourself down for your phone.

“I refuse to engage with either of your antics.” Donnie’s own appeared in his hand. “I am no third wheel. I am coming because I will apparently have to deal with your whining otherwise and because I am not in the mood for the lecture from Nardo and Raphael when they return.”

“Have they texted yet?” Mikey peered over Donnie’s shoulder.

“No. Security detail means one must pay-” Donnie suddenly dropped and ducked through Mikey’s legs in one fluid movement. “-attention. This is why you weren’t requested.”

“And why didn’t they request you, hm?” Mikey pushed his lips into one corner of his mouth.

“Because…!” Donnie trailed off with widened eyes. “My talents lie elsewhere! Enough interruptions. I will drive and then you will leave me be! I am to have my zen! Is that understood?”

“Yeah, yeah, crystal.” Mikey finally did roll his eyes.

Donnie took a few steps away as you found your phone and held it unsure of how to send him the details.

“He’s totally going because he heard ‘yakiniku’ when you mentioned we were making my favorite foods.” Mikey walked over to you with a smirk.

You watched Donnie take an irritated pause before continuing on to get his things.  

-

The ride in the tank had passed with booming music and a tour from Mikey that you only visually participated in because you were terrified to move about the cabin. The younger seemed not to notice as he explained parts with stories more than function. Donnie alternatively, had shades on that further marred his calculated expression and he said nothing as the studious driver.

Leaving the city and entering scenic woodlands, you were soon left to admire the views until you eventually deviated off the road toward the cabin. Tracking it with the little local map you had found, you busied yourself in the comfortable way that most people disliked on road trips: silence in a cozy bubble all your making.

There didn’t have to be talk, that’s what road trip mixes were for.

You only made exceptions for car games. 

You liked that they had simple rules and there were little stakes to be had. 

You only wished cars were safer modes of transport.

There was also something to be said about environmental impact and the culture of automobiles in America, but other than that, you found them nice.

Pulling up to what you imagined was a quiescent place, Mikey could not be restrained a second longer.

Out of the tank in a flurry, you watched through the windshield as his form screamed straight up the cabin’s steps. “He doesn’t do great on car rides, huh?”

“Sitting still for too long? Michael?” Donnie rose from the captain’s chair.

You gave a small smile and gathered up the few things you’d taken inside with you. Your actual bags were stored in an outer compartment and Donnie waited for you as a safety net as you made the harrowing steps down the tank ladder and to the ground. Landing with little fault, you joined him in getting the luggage until Mikey tore back over to grab some of the load. He talked loudly of dust that had accumulated and Donnie griped at him that it was obvious they’d need to clean.

You fondly watched the two bicker and set-up became the next directive. Throwing back plastic sheets that coated furniture, Donnie had a multitude of inventions to clear the space quickly. You had to run to the windows to release the dust tornadoes formed. Making it out mostly unscathed, you then helped Mikey hang bug nets. With the late Spring weather warming the air, soon everything was prepped and Mikey did a little closing dance number, capping off the preparatory part of the trip.

“Swimming hole time!” Mikey cheered and then turned knowingly on Donnie. “Then BBQ and prompt lights out so I can make a lumberjack breakfast first thing!”

“We’re grinding beans… we roasted…” You offered softly. “Uh… Coffee… beans… that is…”

“Oh yeah, I forgot we took that class.” Mikey chuckled. “You almost fell into that sack!”

You squashed a noise of distress at the memory.

Understanding the schedule, Donnie dismissed himself with a turned foot and headed to one of the cabin’s many rooms. You were left to look about the quintessential log cabin where the huge living space and connected kitchen then butted up against a row of doors. They spoke of many rooms that traced the back of the cabin and then up a staircase to a second floor. From what you could see, there were about eight rooms in all. The entire cabin then had a wraparound porch that extended into the wilderness. It was land that both belonged to nature and not, but Mikey had been cagey about revealing property lines. 

“Welp!” Mikey folded his hands on his hips. “Your boy needs to get wet before he explodes.”

You gawked at him.

“Seriously!” He was looking out over the cabin with a vacant stare that held a sort of unhinged quality. “First the car, then stuck inside? This is not an inside trip. if I am not unleashed in the next, oh I don’t know… 2 minutes, I’m going to lose it!”

“Uh…!”

“You got those trail maps?” He turned, both looking through you and not at.

“Y-yes!”

“I color coded the one to the watering hole. Orange, obviously.” Mikey approached with a waggling brow ridge. “I saw you in the car, keeping perfect pace. It was awesome.”

“Just to s-stay b-busy!”

“Uh huh! Your smile said otherwise! You’ll meet me there then! Same way!” He patted your shoulder once with a whack before bolting out the door.

You stared after him now knowing why he’d chosen to travel in his swimsuit.

Looking down at your road trip ensemble, you still felt sure of your decision to take the few hour drive comfortably.

There was a noise of a door opening and Donatello emerged, changed into a casual outfit punctuated by purple swim trunks.

You stared at him and felt a little like a caught fawn.

Donnie took you in before his gaze dulled with understanding. “He ditched you.”

“I’m… going to meet him.”

“He always does this.” Donnie responded dismissively. “You should have seen him in time out as a tot.”

“Oh?”

“One minute in time out for him was comparative to thirty for the rest of us.” Walking around a large kitchen bar, Donnie studied the rations.

You took a few steps toward him for the sake of it.

“He’s so impatient.” Donnie murmured, poking several waters aside to find a carton of juice boxes that Mikey had insisted on. He quickly tossed the set into the fridge. “He’s not even an aquatic turtle.”

You sort of wished you had done more research past looking up pictures of their species.

“You’re losing daylight.” He emerged from the fridge. “Or are you not swimming?”

“I-I am…!” You squeezed a fist to your chest. “Are… you coming too?”

Donnie blinked slowly at you. “No, why?”

“Oh…” You shouldn’t have assumed. He’d already told you otherwise. “Sorry… your bottoms… I thought…”

“Board shorts.” He punctuated the words with an odd accent.

You gave an unsure nod.

“I’m glad their sign was translated.” He glanced down at himself.

“Sorry…” You murmured when he made no further movement and quickly left to avoid any awkwardness.

You weren’t sure what you expected.

It’s not like you wanted to exclude Donnie.

You knew that pain too well.

You also didn’t want to make him feel unwelcomed.

You were painfully aware of that too.

He hadn’t wanted to be a third wheel and you had made it a silent mission to keep that from happening.

Something else you’d experienced in the past, you’d been the unwilling chaperone on more than one occasion just to satisfy parent’s minds. The good one, in their minds, you had always been ditched and the feeling wasn’t one you cared for. Shoving past the bygone era, you were seen now and you tried to relish that.

The sun’s attention was a fickle thing, but you were getting more use to losing Mikey’s. Something you thought should scare you, instead you felt your friendship with Mikey was stronger than ever. You no longer feared losing him in the same intangible way and you weren’t sure if you should crop that up to Mikey’s feelings about you. Instead it felt as though you’d reached a better status quo where Mikey’s running off felt more like the sun moving on its predetermined rotation. It would eventually round back to you and in that way you expected Mikey’s claustrophobia even if you hadn’t known about it.

You picked a room at random and rummaged through the duffel that you placed on your bed. There was a woodsy smell that teetered on musty in a way that spoke of it being well lived in even if its occupants only came every so often. You had your own little stand up mirror, nightstand, dresser, and a closet though you doubted you’d use anything past the first. Pulling out a single slick piece of black fabric, you double checked the door was closed before changing.

The perfect swimsuit was one you hadn’t imagined you’d find. Not one for flashy things, you only wanted a muted cover that also happened to cover you. Water did unimaginable things to fabrics and you hated the way it clinged. You wanted something you could disappear in, that brought no unnecessary attention, and could be forgotten on your end. Finding it in a matter of minutes into shopping as opposed to the years it took when you were younger, the item had even been on sale.

Stepping into it and pulling it up, you shimmied into the fabric and turned for that same show stopping image you’d seen in the changing room.

What stared back was an image of allure.

No.

That was wrong.

That’s not what it had looked like.

It had covered you.

It hadn’t accentuated anything.

It was simple.

You squirmed, changing angles in hopes that it would get better, but each only revealed more.

What had changed?

You’d purchased it this week.

Were you hallucinating?

Was there something in the wooden walls?

Had the tank crashed and this was you playing out some morbid purgatory?

You pinched yourself.

A sting bit your forearm and you threw your gaze back at the mirror for the unwilling shapes it concocted.

This wasn’t right.

You wanted to swim.

There was no way you could.

Miserably turning away from your image, you rooted through your bag for a cover up. Finding one in some oversized t-shirt you’d brought for comfort, you held it and hated that this wasn’t the way you imagined it would be employed. You figured it’d be a back-up pajama top and not something to hide your shame away in. Clinging to the fabric, you hastily pulled it over your head with an imaginary clock ticking away because Mikey was waiting.

You were ruining everything.

Stumbling out into the living room, you found yourself alone.

Momentarily thrown, but shaking off how Donnie wasn’t a priority right now and the guilt that came with that, you went for your pile of maps. Finding the trail one with the orange lines, you gathered some shoes and careened down the porch.

Buzzing insects mocked your sloppy descent as you rotated the map to be on your course. Following it more than your way, you took the necessary inlet and folded its winds to a drawn T. Bushes and trees concealed you, but the splashing of what was beyond reached your ears faster than you’d hoped. A journey not long to its destination, you slowed as you came to the final bend. You could hear Mikey blabbing presumably to himself as he hooted before resounding sloushes followed. In your mind he jumped off some kind of ledge, you took a deep breath before making the final steps leading to the watering hole.

Somewhere quaint if you had the perspective for such a thing, a tree towered comfortably overtop a sizable pool. One mucked up from algae as the little stream feeding into it didn’t stir the water near enough, you watched roiling green as Mikey emerged with a flip of his wet hair.

“Y/N!” Mikey shouted happiness. “You made it! Come on in! The water’s fine!!” He swam backwards as if giving you room.

The guilt was staggering.

No, Mikey.

I won’t be swimming today.

My body looks like shit and I can’t stand it.

I’ll watch you though.

Have all the fun.

You deserve it.

Signing off your name, you slunk forward only to clip a sight of mixed purples.

Donnie craned his neck back to view you from beneath a large sun hat he’d put on. Sitting on a few rocks that made up the closest edge to you, his lids lowered in a way that said he was reading you like a book.

Hating how he did that, you squeezed the bulky hem of your shirt and walked up. “Uh… M-Mikey…?”

“A-yup!” He stopped splashing to hear you better.

“The… um… car ride… sort of took… more out of me than… I thought? Would it be alright if-!”

“You don’t have to swim.”

You blinked wide and over to him.

“If you don’t want to, don’t!” Mikey continued on. “Let’s compare: are you upset I’m swimming when you don’t want to?”

“O-of c-course not!”

“Then why should I care in the reverse?” He fell back and floated, eyes closed, on his shell.

That was right in a way.

Sweet in another.

You wished you’d put together the same reaction.

Inching closer, it felt like pouring water into an overtaxed bucket.

Another guilty drop in your damnation.

You’d seen your friend in a bad light.

Shirking all the more, you toed off your shoes and let your feet lay flat on one of the worn rocks. It put you near Donnie who’d become the moon on a sunny day’s backdrop. He shined upon the same stone and illuminated its age. The rocks were older and wiser than you’d ever be. They never worried about getting wet. They only knew how to exist, something you wished came as easily to you. Sitting down because you needed more of you to drink from the stone’s wisdom, you kept a lowered head to the water’s edge. It sloshed in a beckoning way and you imagined it too would feel good in a different way. 

You really had wanted to swim.

Imaging your tears would do little to fill up the pool while also overflowing it, you heard a tepid sigh beside you.

Eyes wide and shooting up across the pond, you then turned to where you’d sat down next to Donnie.

Someone who you mistakenly forgot about during your pity party.

How was that for a third wheel?

“It’s always something with you.” He spoke softly.

“Sure is.” You gave an awkward laugh.

“That’s…” He made a little concerned noise. “… I didn’t mean it in a cruel way.”

“You didn’t have to. It is.” You threw your legs off the rock and threatened to drown your toes in the water. “It’s a cruel fate. I’m…” You remembered yourself. “Sorry. Nothing. What are you doing here?”

“My species is aquatic.”

You snuck a glance. “You’re pretty dry then.”

“You are too.”

You frowned deeply and watched Mikey pick up a sun drunk grin as he spread his limbs out to float on. “I don’t know why I feel like this. Everything was fine before…”

“With what?”

“This…” You threw a hand over yourself. “Stupid ugly swimsuit.”

You could feel Donnie’s gaze linger.

“Just trust me.” You folded your legs against yourself.

 “I’m not sure I do.”

You squinted at the glistening water before looking at him.

“I barely know you.” He responded simply, waiting there.

“Oh.”

“Disappointed?”

“In what?” Your ugly side was leaking far beyond the reach of what your shirt could cover. “I didn’t think you trusted me. You may have been wrong about me being bad, but that wouldn’t make you less suspicious. So it’s not that. What’s left? The swimsuit sucks. It’s not like you wanna drool over it. I don’t want anyone too. I wanted to swim.”

Hearing your wish aloud, you pressed hard on your chest with your legs.

You could flatten out your entire form if only you were malleable.

“The water is opaque. I can alert Mikey and we’ll turn away so you can get in.”

You felt too far gone for solutions.

You weren’t worth the trouble.

Burying your chin into your knees, you stewed.

“You know how many times the others have made fun of my board shorts?”

You told yourself you didn’t care.

If that was the case then Donnie didn’t either. “Hundreds, though it might be my attitude when wearing them. I like the excuse. To have my day off and not worry about pleasantries. To not have to tailor myself to others. I can tell them to shove it. It’s my day off and how I look isn’t anyone’s damn business.”

Sounded like an odd hill to die on.

“Everyone should have those days.” Donnie craned his arms behind him and leaned back to soak up the rays he was in.

The tree overhead was clipping your light.

Donnie was free. 

Mikey was free. 

Head lifting a little, you pondered your friend.

He’d needed to get out and he did.

Now he was a vision, glowing amongst the pool.

In contrast there was you, wadded up and tossed away without even giving yourself the chance.

Another terrible reminder that this was the point.

This was what you were trying to avoid.

This was what you were trying to learn from.

Mikey didn’t even have to do anything to be himself.

He just was.

Instead of his usual bustle of light, he shined by matter of existence.

That was why you chased him. 

You wanted that. 

Staring at him until sun spots mucked up your vision, you turned the mass to Donnie.

Beside you in the same pose, he was more calculated.

He had to put on his wares.

His was an unseen struggle you hadn’t considered.

No one gleamed quite like Mikey.

That didn’t mean they didn’t shine in their own right.

Donnie’s darkened scales only threw prisms in a different way.

The cool moon’s glow.

Letting your legs fall, this time your feet drew to the allure of the water.

Just out of reach, you stared hard, making sure the pair would keep their eyes closed.

The both of them were still as if asleep, but you waited past whatever insect was chirping before you slowly tugged your hem out from under you. Emerging without more than the sound of rustling fabric, you rolled your shirt up around your waist. The next move was one harder to conceal, you threw a desperate glance at your friend.

Water rocked the resting Mikey like a babe and you wanted to feel that too.

You wanted to be nestled by the sun’s glow.

You wanted to feel weightless and have those burdens removed.

You yanked the shirt over your head and dropped it to your side.

Donnie stirred at the sound, but didn’t open his eyes.

“It’s… It’s okay… I’m not… okay… but I think I… I don’t want to care…”

He cracked a lid and stared skyward.

“It looked so different in the store.”

“How so?” He asked a whispy cloud.

“It looked… I don’t know… covering? Like it didn’t… show any bits. Like it… hid them away.”

He blinked slow and comfortable. “I’m a designer, you know.”

“What?”

“Genius Built Apparel. Where fashion meets function.”

You stared on.

Of course he was. 

He also built a tank and a legion of dusting robots. 

If this were any other family you’d think he was pulling your leg. 

You’d seen more than enough to believe. 

Most of your stare came from the cocky name. 

Though even that made sense. 

Donnie was a carefully constructed sphere. 

Who were you to take away his gloating? 

He tilted his head just enough to glimpse your face. “I’m serious. I’ve dissuaded Mikey from many a faux pas.”

You shook your head.

“May I?”

“What?” You switched to eyeing him.

“I can take a clinical eye. Examine stitching. Find your err.”

You bounced one of your legs.

You did want to know where it had all gone wrong.

You could theoretically fix it then.

Wash this all away in the water you so desperately wanted to get in.

“You won’t make it weird?”

“I don’t drool on the metaphorical clock; you were right about that, but I understand your concern. I have accosted you before.”

“Different kind of weird. That was mean weird. You were a jerk weird.”

Donnie chuffed and it rolled down his plastron.

You watched it fall into his lap before forcing your gaze back to his face in a rush. “Promise… Promise I can pull your hat down if you… do anything.”

“I won’t so a simple enough agreement. Sure.”

“Go… ahead…” You folded your arms to your sides, obviously nervous as you listened to his clothes move.

In a twist, he was examining you and he gave a faint hum.

Not wanting to see exactly how he saw you and growing miserable, you stared into the water.

You could throw yourself in and be done with it.

“Here.” He spoke.

You moved to the sound on instinct and found him pointing to your hip.

His eye was indeed one you imagined a tired scientist gave the samples he was cursed to study.

You immediately relaxed. “What?”

“This ruching here is meant to cover cellulite when the fabric gets wet. When dry it acts a similar concealment, but the way the strips are sewn are for the first purpose.”

“Oh…” You tilted your head to look.

“Thing is, it’s also leading lines.” He didn’t get any closer, but he mimed tracing the seams of the fabric that curled around your hip and beneath where you were sitting. “It’s meant to direct the gaze to certain assets.”

 You blew out an annoyed breath.

“Dressing room mirrors, where I imagine you first saw this, aren’t slapped on walls without thought. They're engineered with angles and lightning to make clothes look as flattering as possible.” He brought his eye to yours. “Where did you see yourself today?”

“There’s a… mirror in my room.”

Donnie’s lip twitched with distaste. “That floor length one?”

You nodded.

“Dad uses that one to feel tall.” He sneered openly. “It tilts up from below, the worst possible perspective.”

You blinked a few rapid times.

“It took the ruching and blew it up.”

“So it’s not… that bad?”

“It’s anything, it's tasteful!” He spoke with an irritation that said that should have been obvious. “It fits your body well. Does it have a certain allure? Yes, I’ve already spoken of assets, but it is not a piece that invites unnecessary solicitation.” 

“Assets, assets. What are you, an ass man?” You retorted automatically. 

“There is nothing quite like sinking your teeth into that soft, inviting flesh.” He took your response and held it between his teeth.

In a blink, you saw an imaginary Donatello around your hips pointing to the fabric and on contact with the thought your face exploded.

“I say generally speaking, of course.” He clicked his tongue as if scolding you and turned away toward the water.

Hot.

You were too hot.

Run.

Throwing yourself forward, you submerged as indelicately as possible into the water.

Sinking like a stone into the silence, your burning flesh was quickly soothed by a cold lap.

A sweet embrace, you kicked to the surface and emerged with a pathetic gasp.

Never graceful, you shook yourself free of clingy drops and spun back around to view the rocks.

Donnie was staring up at the sky again and you sort of hated him for it.

Swim.

You’d swim with Mikey.

Spinning around, the other turtle was not only longer floating, but you couldn’t locate him at all. Quickly worrying that you had toppled him in your dive, you swam forward. “Mikey?”

Quieting to listen, you didn’t hear anything past the faint roiling of the water against its container.

Thinking he must have dove, you looked down to find Donnie’s earlier comment to be a correct one. With the water murky to a fault and a new fear cropped up. You had no idea what was in the water and you immediately darted for the closest shore. Something several long feet from Donnie, it was a sort of marshy landing that rocks from below steeping up to meet. They were covered in a slime that clung to your feet and had you pausing until you heard an off-toned lap behind you.

You whirled around with wide eyes and found a sea monster waiting for you.

Something matted with algae, it groaned pathetically and you sucked in enough air until the balloon was full enough to scream.

“What!? Who?! Where?!” The creature splashed with Mikey’s voice.

He’d been captured by another mutant.

You turned to get out of the water with some intention of getting to the tank.

It had to have missiles or something.

Anything to help.

You’d take a bowling ball launcher at this point.

Catching grip with one foot, you hoisted up the other. The many rocks acted like a disjointed ladder and your entire torso emerged from the water before one of your feet slid. The moment it happened felt like you were falling out of time. In slow motion, you knew your face was one of surprise. You painted an open expression where the imminent terror that you were falling couldn’t catch up as neurons to save yourself from the action. 

Your mind knew, but your face didn’t know that you were going to crack your head open on the rocks you just slipped on.

“Y/N!”

“Y/N!”

Two voices.

Too far.

Something skewered your side as the first injury of many.

Hoping only to black out on that first step, you willed your possessions to your friends.

You didn’t bother hoping they would remember you. 

You only hoped that they could make some use out of your worldly imprint.

No matter how small it was. 

Water rushed to greet you and shoved you away. 

That wasn’t right. 

That was the wrong direction.

Water swayed like waves. 

The equal and opposite reaction wouldn’t come until you fell in. 

Why had it preemptively come for you?

Your arms dangled heavily from gravity and you forced your eyes from wherever they had gone.

The monster was right in front of you. 

Its face was one of Michelangelo.

Green sludge caught in his blackened locks and his worried expression peered out from between a small part. 

He had you by the waist and was holding you up in the air. “Are you okay!?”

You were a loose toy strung up.

Flopping down, lifeless, you were a doll that couldn’t close its eyes until it was laid down.

A second deafening splash came as you hung there.

Mikey’s lips were moving awfully fast.

“Did they hit their head?!” Donnie’s voice broke through.

“No! Above water the whole time! Donnie! They aren’t saying anything, I don’t-”

“Shock?” Donnie wondered, but he never came into frame.

Where was he?

Mikey jostled you as one might bounce a colicky baby.

It was pulling a string on your back and you hacked on contact. 

You wheezed, forcing air in where terror had torn it from you. 

You fought. 

Not Mikey exactly, but the situation. 

It strung your arms back. 

It shoved your torso forward. 

It threw your head skyward. 

You gasped, alive. 

You saw blue.

It was the sky.

You hadn’t died.

Mikey had saved you.

Finally.

You came down from your arching to translate your joy. 

Mikey’s face slid into your vision and he was the picture of a boiled red tomato dotted with summertime spots.

He was looking at you. 

He had ogled you. 

He was embarrassed. 

Your blood pressure plummeted twice as fast as it had when you thought you were about to die.

This was worse.

This time you heard yourself scream as you lashed out.

Water flew up as if to welcome you, to bring you where you were meant to be. 

Drowned. 

Returned you to that place where you weren’t an object to be viewed.

You were a person floating free.

Liquid carried life.

It supported it.

It didn’t have it.

Vertigo struck you as you moved within a blink. 

In a disorientated spiral, your lids fell heavy as your inner ear tried to correct the imbalance. 

There were no longer hands around your waist. 

Something clicked like an engine uselessly turning over. 

Weary, you realized you were standing in a safe spot in the water. 

You drew up the dreary blinds of your curtain and found a muscled arm thrown out protectively in front of you. 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!!!” Mikey cried, loud and desperate.

“What the hell was that then!?” Donnie’s voice rang close.

That firm limb tucked you further behind someone. 

You were being shielded.

A squabble happened in front of you, but you only looked down at the jade appendage acting as your guard rail.

You touched the arm and it felt familiar.

“Don-nie?” Your voice came out synthetic.

His was the body you were behind and his face appeared in a whip of his head. “Are you alright? Can you swim? I’ll move.”

“I’m not…?” You weren’t swimming.

You weren’t doing anything.

You were standing in the water. 

“What…?”

You looked past Donnie and glimpsed Mikey with a faint blush still stuck to his cheeks.

“Y-you…!” It felt accusatory on your lips.

“I’m sorry!!!” Mikey screeched.

“Turn around, dummy!” Donnie growled hot and was in motion.

You were soon ushered into a spin with an indelicate hand to your back and all but rushed over to the rock you had jumped off of.

You heard a splash of what you assumed was Mikey growing distant behind you. 

You hoped that would cool him off. 

“You ready?” Donnie’s voice appeared like it was newly there. 

“For what?” You were already used.

What was left?

Was it time to take out the recycling?

“I’m going to lift you up. Your shirt is right there.” Donnie instructed. 

“My shirt…” You were forlorn.

It was your back-up comfort item.

“Ready?” Donnie asked again.

The water rocked you and you barely bumped his firm plastron. 

You nodded dumbly.

Your hips were taken in what you read as a clinical way. 

You were barely bounced once, then twice, in a way that ballet dancers got momentum to lift their partners. 

Sure enough, you were lifted cleanly out of the water.

Only this time you felt well handled.

You weren’t swung around like a toddler holding up their favorite doll.

A child who cared for his toys put you on a shelf.

When your knees touched down, you drank in the life of the rock and scrambled for your shirt.

All the things that had just occurred crashed into you.

Shoving your head through the hole, you yanked the shirt down your body as you were already in motion. Forest floor digging into your bare feet, you didn’t need the map to retrace your steps. You followed the single, winding, prickly path and emerged out by the cabin only to fly inside it. A sanctuary amongst the unrelenting woods, you left a rotting drip trail as you entered your room. Your door clattered from where you had thrown it open and you ripped your duffel bag to shreds to get to its confines.

Pulling on layer after layer, you could see Mikey’s blush with each piece of clothing.

He’d looked at you.

You shoved your feet into a third pair of socks.

His gaze was amorous.

Into a thermal that was very much against the season, you ran out of clothes and stormed the dresser.

Sexual.

There were oversized men’s clothes that struck you as maybe being Raph’s and you thanked their huge size.

You put shirt after shirt on.

Mikey had said, point blank, that he wanted to see how far his feelings went.

Why were you so stupid?

You screamed.

Raw and uncut.

Tearing at your larynx, you ripped a few too many layers off as they impeded your melt down.

You needed space to breathe.

You needed to be swallowed whole.

Stumbling out to that accursed mirror, the shape you found there was a frumpy one.

Smiling a teary look at it, you watched it warp your face into one of dismay and you cried.

Where had you last felt okay?

It wasn’t here.

Moving around the room you searched for it.

That intangible something that would help.

Knocking everything over, you finally got a hold of a much too large pillow and hugged it to your body.

It was large and not at all as firm as you wanted.

You needed a hard wall.

You needed that unrelenting nature.

You weren’t something to be judged with heat.

You needed a cold light the sun couldn’t supply.

The wall knocked.

You spun around with your pillow defense to find the back of a head waiting there.

“I come as an emissary.” Donnie spoke slow and methodical.

“You can-!” It wasn’t Mikey.

Your pillow fell slack into one hand.

It wasn’t Mikey.

You let it drop with a thump to the floor.

It wasn’t Mikey.

“…come in.”

You took a wobbly step to spread out your clothed legs in hopes of keeping yourself upright.

Donnie didn���t move.

“You can… come in…” You repeated, not sure if you had gotten the first phrase out.

“No.”

“No…?” You took another step and saw how Donnie was clearly beyond the boundary of your open door.

With his back to you. 

Not impeding on you in any way. 

“This is your space.” He spoke it like a finality. 

You stared at the knot of his mask tails and tried to place what you felt.

“Being out here with us…” Donnie let the sentence hang before he lowered his gaze to the floor. “I want to… respect that much.”

“Why’d you say it like that?”

“I prefer the term ‘sanctum,’ but I couldn’t fit it in.”

“A sacred place…?”

The back of his head nodded. “My lab is supposed to be one.”

Sanctums weren’t places to be invaded.

If they were then they were violated.  

He understood.

Is that what you felt?

Camaraderie?

Even his mania in the beginning had been one you made sense of.

Was that why you hadn’t complained?

No, you were rewriting history from your current perspective.

It was also the only one you knew.

It was one where you envied one man. 

It was where you once feared another. 

Now their roles were reversed. 

You never had to explain your misery to Donnie.

You didn’t have to make him understand.

He was the moon.

You rushed towards him.

Donnie heard the footsteps and made it about half a turn before you reached him. “As… I was saying, I talked to Michael and come in his stead to-”

You collided with that unrelenting wall of plastron. Finding an odd hinge between the front of his shell and the back, you did your best to tuck into that space and weaseled under his arm. You felt it rise above you, out of your way and a rotation brought you more towards his front. There you felt him stop to take your over-clothed form in.

“I’m sorry!” You choked on tears, rooting the sound as deep against Donnie’s wet clothes as possible.

He let your misery hang for exactly one second. 

Then he surrounded you in a soft moon glow.

He pulled you toward his chest and you burrowed closer to him.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I completely overreacted. It was just too much… Too much attention… the way he looked. He said… I thought he wouldn’t… I didn’t want…!”

A hand pet through the layers of your back.

Even and careful.

No further connotation other than to soothe.

Squirming to get your arms out from where you were crushing them, you wiggled them free to embrace him.

You squeezed a sigh right out of him.

“I know.” He spoke into your damp head. “I know…”

You nodded and basked in the tide. Pulled by the moon’s orbit, the waves rolled in and out with a sway. A gentle rocking, you were cast a comfortable drift by it. This was the one you had longed for from the swimming hole. Here, you floated amongst sturdy shores. Held safe, the guiding white light poured around you. One that pushed back against the darkness, it shone on you. Lucky to be in its reach, it wasn’t the type you soaked up. It instead washed over you in a cleanse. Feeling lighter and a little stifled, you extracted yourself from moisture to moisture.

Everything around you from your leaking face to the clingy pond water was soaked and you frowned down Donnie’s body. Standing in a little pool mostly created by him, you wanted to stick your tongue out at it, but you feared the bacteria clearly clinging to your skin.

“The cabin is yours tonight.”

Before you could register the words, you felt him strengthen his resolve with a puff of his chest.

“I don’t want to hear complaints otherwise.”

You wanted to pout.

“I checked the systems when we were doing our preliminary cleaning. The water will be hot. Shower, bathe, do whatever you’d like. We’ll be staying outside.”

You gave a faint nod to the wet floor.

“We’ll grill and I’ll make you a plate. Preference?”

You shook your head. “I don’t… feel like eating…”

“Bland it is.”

Now you were pouting.

“Y/N.”

“Yeah?” Your head felt heavy.

“I still have a message from Mikey to deliver.”

“I really don’t want to hear it.” Irritation brought you to look at him.

Donnie took you in with a sort of smile. “You’ll want to.”

You dropped your features in a way that said you didn’t believe him.

“He said he’s not ready to talk as he’s having his own crisis, but he’ll let you know when he’s ready to apologize.” Donnie tilted his head, almost amused.

You blinked straight out of your bitterness to stare openly.

Donnie gave a single knowing nod.

“Enjoy your shower.” With one last sweep over you as if to check you were all still there, Donnie turned and headed for the door.

Watching him go, you saw the faint amber hue of sunset.

“It’ll all work out.” Donnie tossed just as he grabbed the knob to exit.

You turned and stormed straight to the bathroom. Drowning in clothes and scum, you locked the door tight and turned the shower knobs to their highest setting. Leaving the water to warm, you started removing your outermost shirt. As soon as it hit the ground you felt possessed. You tore off your clothes with each subsequent layer removed at a faster and faster pace. You needed to be freed. You needed that ridiculous protection off of you as soon as possible. All of it soiled, you stripped down bare and left your feet for last.

The moment they were naked and pressed to tile, you leapt into the old style tub. Instantly boiled by the too hot water, you let it scorch you with clenched teeth at first until the burn seared and you adjusted the dial for something reasonable. Still a lobster in a pot, you scrubbed your skin until you thought it might flake and then doused it in suds until you couldn’t see its color. A sea of white foam, the second scrounge came through, washing the detritus away.

Pickled in the process, you emerged and greedily took up every towel in the room. It meant toeing around the disgusting mound of clothes you’d left, but Donnie had said the cabin was yours. Until tomorrow when you’d clean the place up, you instead mourned how you hadn’t even brought your toothbrush in with you. Scowling at a fog coated mirror, you cracked the door and watched the steam leak out.

Chasing it with your ear, you didn’t hear anything, but there was a distinct lemon scent.

You followed the smell into the hall where you quickly placed it was cleaner. The floor had a sheen to it that spoke of a recent mopping. The clean line ending abruptly at your door said exactly who the culprit was. Donatello had snuck back in to clean and you were thankful for it. He’d left your sanctuary untouched and instead set a stool just outside the door. 

On it was a stack of comfortable looking clothes and a note.

‘Keep your room or upgrade. I recommend the one upstairs, second bedroom on the right.’

You folded the note along its lines and placed it back on the offered clothes. You then gathered the lot and took it with you along with a brave face as you entered your room. You barely looked up as you salvaged what you could from your duffel. Carrying the mostly limp sack, you then moved to follow your recommendation. It led you through the darkened cabin and up the winding wooden stairs where the door in question was closed. Knocking on it out of politeness, you found it empty and slipped inside. It was decorated similarly, but clearly different. Comfortable in its own sense, you went about your nightly routine as best you could and thanked the space for not having a mirror. Growing more weary by the second, you thought vaguely of meat as you instead pulled back the covers.

Sinking in and imagining charcoal lighting the men’s faces, you settled down into the welcoming embrace of bed.

You eventually got up and padded across a tiled floor.

Pulling out a single slick piece of black fabric, you double checked the door was closed before changing.

The perfect swimsuit was one you hadn’t imagined you’d find.

What luck, you thought, as you slipped it on.

Stepping into it, you shimmied into the fabric and turned for that show stopping image in the changing room.

It was perfect.

It covered you in all the right ways.

Finally, the piece you’d been looking for.

Smiling and striking pose after pose, you saw a hand wave above the curtain.

“Come in!” You called to it. 

Sanctum’s were only to be entered with permission. 

“Silly.” You looked over your pleasing image once more. “Is it still a violation if I request it?”

“I guess not.” Instead of drawing the curtain back, Donnie slipped through it.

Tucking himself a strong wall behind you, he looked into the mirror at you.

What looked back held no heat, only appreciation.

“Do you like it?” He checked with you without passing judgment himself.

“I do…” You smiled.

He gave one of his own, though subdued, and flicked his gaze down. “Look here.”

You lowered your gaze to find him kneeling behind you. With his head popped out around your hips, he was looking up at you in a way you liked quite a bit.

You felt powerful.

You were a light bright enough for him to want to project.

“This ruching here has leading lines.” He didn’t touch you, but his hands ghosted over you along the fabric’s pattern.

Your lips parted and your chest filled with heat.

A celestial body was meant to look on.

You were safe. 

“May I?” He asked you once again. 

You were glad and responded with a breathless, “Please.”

His mouth opened a dark orbital maw, a new moon, which then glinted into a teeth-filled waxing crescent headed in its trek to sink into your soft flesh.

You jolted the moment the teeth supposedly hit their mark. 

You stared into the dark abyss and saw drifting images of sharpened grins. 

You were dizzy.

A sheen of sweat to you, you tossed back a cover. 

The black hovel above you took shape as logs in the cabin ceiling. 

They lined up like thick thighs appearing from where board shorts had hiked up. 

Begging for a taste.

Awareness struck with a sharp inhale.

Fully awake and doused with dread from your dream, you voiced your despair with a whisper.

“Oh no…”

💛 NEXT 💛

I swear I handed this to my betas over a year ago... @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83

[lerukawwws]

Please give me recommendations of Missa's music this is becoming a hyperfixation and I am a poor poor english speaker

Also translations of what the songs are about would be amazing

(also I'm not terrible at spanish but what the heck is the song about the history of a cat and a sandwich about, is that a bit, is it a cultural meme I do not understand. It's goofy and it's really good tho)

Almost all his songs are about overcoming your insecurities and becoming a better person!

The ones that are in his Spotify are usually about these themes except well fantasma enamorado and la historia del gato y el sándwich, he has other songs in his YouTube that are raps! We have a Kirby one, Undertale, FNAF, Mario bros

Fun fact. Missa wanted to upload mainly music in the main channel hence the "sinfonia - symphony" but his other videos became more popular.

La historia del gato y el sándwich is indeed a joke song haha, the song goes telling the story of how a sandwich that was stolen by a cat

Fantasma enamorado is about a comic missa wrote a long ago and never uploaded, he says that the story is quite similar to hazbin hotel, the song tells you a story of this person entering the hotel

Aquí estoy is about overcoming challenges and being able to overcome your insecurities, and how even if the things go wrong you can still keep going and not to surrender

Privilegios is a song about his insecurities and anxiety that stops him, about if his deserves love and asks if he has the privilege to deserve this love, the song goes about how forgets about these and keeps going even if these thoughts keep coming

La moderna sociedad del odio, the song is exactly about the title is how now the modern society tends to hate on everything and talks how now people tends to criticize and hate everything without a thought, and how we need to ignore these and keep going ignoring the hate!!

Nuestros límites is about our limits, the song is about overcoming these limits that stops us from becoming better, and how we are our biggest limit and need to surpass.

El tiempo is one of the sad songs of missa - he believes this is the only sad song he has uploaded - the song is about suicide, talks about how hurts to lose someone and we have to keep going, this song was written inspired in a close friend of missa that committed suicide.

Now the songs in his videos are only in his videos or you can find some clips around YouTube, the one about camping is in one in his more recent videos about well camping, I recommend watching it even has a little amazing animation !

The song starts right in this moment https://youtu.be/Ymaw69ie33o?t=11m10s

[prisoner-000]

Let's talk Apples, Bauhaus, Ads & Kazui Mukuhara's MVs!

I've seen a lot of people talk about art history when it comes to both of Kazui's MVs, but usually, the analysis tends to focus on more surface-level aspects. I'm a bit of an art history nerd, so I thought - hey, why not, let's look into it some more when it comes to these two videos! Particularly I am focusing on 20th century art.

Everyone and their mom has already deciphered the appearance of Magritte's The Son of Man in half (Cat confirms the similarity by making a direct reference to the painting), but I'm gonna be quickly repeating it anyways without simply going off the Wikipedia summary.

The Son of Man is, like many of Magritte's works, about not giving the viewer all the details to understand the work. His photorealistic style contrasts with his phantastical subjects to create a dream-like atmosphere and to invite the viewer to step into this dream world of surrealism he's crafted. "half" borrows the surface theme of not being able to see everything about the man who is depicted, his face being obscured, almost as though he is wearing a mask.

But that's not all! The apple from this painting has been borrowed to be a symbol in Kazui's story as a whole.

The apple as a symbol of sin, desire and the downfall of man has been used in essentially all mediums of art since... the invention of abrahamic religions and the writing of the story of the garden of Eden? The Tanach/Old Testament (and, of course, the New Testament) and tales within it have inspired a lot of art symbolism (e.g. crosses, apples...) so it's not a surprise this pops up in modern anime music videos. Hell, the apple was even used as shorthand in Snow White. If you'd like to look more into apple symbolism and its origins, I'd suggest looking into this article. Especially interesting for us and theory-crafters, of course, is the 'desire' aspect of the apple symbolism.

So, "half" and "Cat" reference The Son of Man. But one connection to a painting isn't enough to warrant a theme of art history, is it? You're right! Let's talk about "Cat"'s visual style!

Many people have already pointed out Cat's print, advertisement-like style with its CMYK color scheme and torn paper at the edges. But it seems a lot of people in the fandom don't really know what this style in particular is called. The combination of these geometric shapes with print colors, slick design and the Helvetica font has its roots in Bauhaus design — it's based on the modern idea of the "Bauhaus" style.

Students of the Bauhaus school were mainly involved in designing furniture, architecture, and print design. Bauhaus' design philosophy was 'form follows function' — Walter Gropius' (the founder of Bauhaus) goal with his school was to streamline design as a whole and make mass production of designs possible. This led to a rather strict design process - students were encouraged to follow the school's motto and not add 'unnecessary' elements to their designs. This is why, more than 100 years later, designs developed in the Bauhaus school are still being used for print media and furniture.

Why is this important? What I want you to focus on in that aspect of "Cat"'s design is the inherent strictness that came with this philosophy of design. Bauhaus designs followed purpose rather than simply existing for art's sake (even originally being created with more political ideas, that being socialism, in mind).

In contrast to this, let's focus on what Bauhaus' groundwork design was used for in the late 20th century.

You might recognize the advertisement style presentation from more recent Pop Art works such as Roy Lichtenstein's big canvas works or, more famously, some of Andy Warhol's print works, which were also made by utilizing similar techniques in color and print. Particularly, you might have also drawn connections to Andy Warhol's Marylin Monroe prints.

Pop Art is (in)famously one of the most modern-culture-heavy art periods. Pop Art is all about consumerism and ads. And, in turn, consumerism and ads are about society, which is about upholding norms, which is Sometimes Also about gender and masculinity. So, we close this weird circle and we're all the way back to that suffocating masculinity theme.

The only thing in Cat that breaks away from the print ad influence is the ending section, where the background is a harsh red. That's on purpose. It's not really supposed to be part of the Pop Art world everyone that isn't Kazui seems to be living in.

I personally believe the progression from half's theater, Magritte-based symbolism to Cat's loud and modern Bauhaus/Pop Art style to be purposeful. Half gives you the story of a sad man trapped in a tragedy, Cat gives you the story of a liar who tries to embrace the societal standards that are suffocating him. While Magritte's work leads you into a world of dreams, Pop Art makes you face reality in the most obnoxious and colorful way possible.

And, really, isn't that just what Kazui is all about? Dreaming? Closing his eyes to escape the print ad reality he lives in? Waking up to see something he has never faced before, dark red, color splotches that don't fit into this ideal CMYK world, splattered on the sidewalk below?

[good-beanswrites]

LCSYS prompt?

Yuno: *looks up 'cat maid Fuuta'* That's a lot more results than I expected!

Omg yes!! 😂 Based on this convo and wonderful art -- it's so fun to picture the characters having access to the current fandom... I wish them all the best of luck............ (Obviously this would be part of the famous-variation of the au 👍)

“What are you looking at?” Amane leaned over to see Yuno’s phone, just as she hurriedly closed all the tabs.

“Nothing.”

“Yuno-san, it’s not good to lie.”

Fuuta looked up from his mobile game to scrunch up his face. “She’s probably looking into something scandalous for the upcoming photo shoot.”

Yuno rolled her eyes. “It’s not that bad. I’m just trying to get some ideas. Haven’t you guys started brainstorming?” 

She looked between the pair who’d joined her on the break room couch. They had some time away from filming, offering the perfect opportunity to come up with ideas for the merchandise photoshoot that was quickly approaching. Most of the content that the team sold came from within the prisoners’ music videos, so they were abuzz with the prospect of choosing their own unique outfits for this one.

Amane straightened her posture. “I have. Mahiru-san helped me pick something out.”

“And you, Fuuta?”

He slumped further into the couch, focused on his game. “Who cares? It’s supposed to be our natural style, right? So, whatever I wear that day will be what I wear.”

Amane frowned. “You should have a little more pride in your appearance, Fuuta-san.”

“Eh, I care as much as I need to. What am I supposed to do, pander to the audience like some sort of a sellout?”

Yuno opened a new search. “That’s exactly what you’re supposed to do. I was just looking through what some of my fans have been saying about me! I want to see if there’s any specific ideas I can get on my outfit, something they’ll find attractive.”

Fuuta scoffed. “Who in their right mind would find us attractive?”

“Could… could you look for me too? Look at what people are saying about me?” Amane dropped her gaze when she said it, ashamed of her curiosity. “I-I like the outfit Mahiru-san chose. I just want to make sure it won’t be disappointing to everybody…”

Yuno and Fuuta jumped to reassure her at once. 

“I can still find some things that they’re saying,” Yuno added, “if you wanted to hear their compliments firsthand!”

“No, no. That’s alright.” She squirmed in her seat, trying to hide the blush creeping to her cheeks at the thought. To change the subject, she quickly asked, “what if we looked into ideas for Fuuta-san?”

“Tch, I don’t need any help.”

“That’s a great idea! Hmm~ I wonder what his fans like…” Yuno shot him a look. “... in general.”

“Hey!”

Amane pointed to the screen. “What were you searching up for yourself? Could it be the same?”

Yuno’s hand flew to her mouth, trying to stifle the loud laugh that escaped. “I’m not so sure about that. I doubt Fuuta’s videos inspire talk of cat maids as much as mine.”

“Cat maids?” Amane’s face lit up at whatever mental image she’d conjured for herself. Her eyes were intense. “We should still check. You know. Just in case.”

Yuno made a mental note to find some cute art of cats in dresses to show the girl later. Still, she didn’t see the harm in indulging her now.

“I guess we can see if anyone’s mentioned it…”

Fuuta tossed aside his phone, Game Over scrawled across it. “You must be stupid if you think I’m going to wear a fucking dress at my photo shoot.” He peered over Yuno’s shoulder. “Oi, are you listening?”

“You don’t have to wear it. Right now we’re just seeing what the people want~” Yuno’s fingers flew across the screen. “Cat Maid Fuuta.” She hit search.

Her eyes widened. Then Fuuta’s. He slapped a hand over Amane’s.

Yuno pursed her lips. “That’s… a lot more results than I expected.”

Behind Fuuta’s palm, Amane was beaming. “It sounds like it’s a good idea, then!”

---

I like them chillin on the couch better but this was a doodle I had from a while ago 😂

[whentherewerebicycles]

ugh I am really struggling with a thing with a former student/mentee of mine. in the week or two of the post-hamas attack aftermath I posted something on instagram that was basically like, i feel an obligation to be an informed global citizen and believe me I read/think about/despair over the news every day but I also think it’s ok to really viscerally hate “doing politics” on social media, where complex, centuries-old geopolitical and cultural conflicts get reduced to a sensationalized infographic some teenager designed on canva last night. at the time I was watching people spread rampant misinformation about the hospital explosion when we had zero conclusive information, and had also just heard jon favreau talking about research indicating that something like 80% of the images and videos people were sharing on social media weren’t actually FROM the current conflict or couldn’t be verified as real. and idk I also have some private thoughts about how american leftists in particular really glom onto this issue because we perceive israelis as ‘white people’ and palestinians as people of color and we get to feel like we are exorcising our own country’s racial demons by advocating for the expulsion of the israeli people from land that many of them actually have deep historical ties to and at least a semi-legitimate cultural and religious claim to inhabiting.

to be clear I think the current israeli government is pretty much your trump-inspired shitty/evil right-wing militaristic populist movement and I feel like their response has squandered every single ounce of empathy garnered by the hamas attacks!! but idk I guess what I want to carve out space for is like, the right to say I AM NOT AN EXPERT HERE. I DO NOT HAVE DEEP ENOUGH KNOWLEDGE TO FULLY UNDERSTAND THE ROOTS OF THIS CONFLICT. I WORRY ABOUT SPREADING DANGEROUS MISINFORMATION IN BOTH DIRECTIONS IF I SHARE UNVERIFIED SOURCES OR REDUCTIVE TAKES. ALSO I AM A PRIVATE CITIZEN AND I DO NOT HAVE A “PLATFORM” JUST BECAUSE I HAVE A SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNT. I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO BE CONFUSED, TO NOT PASS SNAP JUDGMENTS ON RAPIDLY EVOLVING INTERNATIONAL INCIDENTS, AND TO ENGAGE IN POLITICS BY MEANS OTHER THAN SOCIAL MEDIA POSTING. but idk this former student, who I had a really good relationship with for many years, has just come after me in my DMs and keeps sending me posts implying that anyone who is not furiously posting right now is pro-Palestinian genocide, etc etc, and meanwhile she is posting hundreds of unverified stories a day from Arabic-language sources that aren’t just like, anti-Zionist but are actively pro-Hamas, actively denying that the attacks on Israel happened, and actively calling for the immediate and violent expulsion of all Jews from the area. dude idk she’s not my student anymore so I think I’m just going to disengage/not respond and continue staying off insta because it sucks out there!! but it sucks!

I also just refuse to experience a war via unfiltered social media posts again. I did that for a month or two at the start of the ukraine invasion and I can’t unsee some of the stuff I saw on telegram. I don’t actually think any of us have a moral obligation to watch or share a 24/7 feed of graphic images of maimed corpses and crying children. I can’t make the violence STOP by watching that content and I also don’t believe that ravenously consuming the most terrible moments of people’s lives is a form of meaningful political solidarity. WHATEVER as you can see I still feel super conflicted about how to feel about all of this but I also have to remind myself that IT’S NOT NORMAL to click through my stories or scroll down my feed alternating between liking people’s cat photos and watching people dying half a world away. we were NOT BUILT to process world-historical events this way and it is OKAY to opt out of watching a livestream of human suffering you are personally powerless to do anything about.

[nickeverdeen]

Hi, can I please get a platonic and romantic Arcane matchup?

I'm a girl and I use she/her pronouns, and I'd like female results.

My MBTI is ENFJ, and I personally feel like I'm an ambivert (I adapt to situations, find my place in groups, but I also feel good when I'm alone). I'm helpful, brave, and can be bold sometimes (and I'm really mouthy, to be honest). When I was bullied, I talked back instead of sitting quietly (which shut the bullies up), but my friends say that I'm literally the sweetest person in the world when you get to know me better.

I can be a very good leader, but I usually don't volunteer to be one (I also usually prefer to work alone though). I am VERY emotional, even when it seems like I don't care, and I can get very moody when one thing upsets me or when I get jealous. I'm intelligent, very ambitious, and I know who I want to be, so I stick to it. (Sometimes I feel complex about spending my youth on education, but I believe it will give me the results to prove it's worth it).

I study chemistry, and outside school I enjoy listening to music. I like playing video games (mainly story ones– for example, Red Dead Redemption 2 or the Resident Evil series since I'm also a fan of horror games). I'm quite nerdy about story games and can talk about them non-stop.

When it comes to my style, it's something between feminine and tomboyish (more feminine, I think). I have an old German Shepherd dog (they're like German Shepherds but more massive), but I also love cats and would like to have one in the future.

Thanks and I hope you have a nice day :)

Your platonic match is…

Caitlyn Kiramman

Caitlyn would be your study partner, always encouraging your academic goals, and admiring your drive to stick to who you want to be

She’d listen intently as you dive into stories about your favorite games, even when she doesn’t fully understand them, loving how passionate you are

Caitlyn would be supportive during your emotional moments, offering a calm presence and letting you express yourself without judgment

She’d find your boldness inspiring and appreciate that you have no problem standing up for yourself and others

You’d share a love of animals, and Caitlyn would be all about spoiling your German Shepherd (and any future cats)

Caitlyn would encourage you to pursue leadership roles, knowing you have the qualities to excel, even if you’re hesitant to step up

She’d be thrilled to join you on outdoor adventures with your dog, finding peace in quieter, shared moments

Caitlyn would join in on your music sessions, bonding over shared favorites and trying to introduce you to a few songs she likes

She’d love your “sweetest person in the world” side, occasionally teasing you about it when you’re mouthy or moody

Caitlyn would never pressure you socially but would include you in her activities, always mindful of your comfort and sense of balance

Your romantic match is…

Vi

Vi would love to hear you talk passionately about story games, hanging on every detail and getting as excited as you

She’d always be there for you when your emotions feel overwhelming, offering comfort or a listening ear and finding ways to make you smile

Vi would admire how mouthy and outspoken you are, seeing it as strength, and would encourage you to never lose that edge

She’d be thrilled to get competitive with you in video games, often challenging you to little bets and absolutely reveling in each match

When you start talking about chemistry, Vi would joke that she “doesn’t have a clue” but would still be super supportive of your studies

She’d admire your ambition and the fact that you stick to your goals, cheering you on every step of the way

Vi would respect your boundaries when you’re moody, but wouldn’t shy away from giving you a little nudge or hug when you need it

She’d go all out on little date ideas, like nighttime walks with your dog or even sparring matches, enjoying every moment together

Vi would be protective of you, fiercely loyal and always ready to defend you if someone ever overstepped or caused you pain

She’d love your old German Shepherd and would secretly enjoy dreaming up names for the cat she knows you’ll eventually get

[pomefioredove]

Alright my first time asking for a matchup. My personality type is INTJ-T. I have two cats that are the focal point of my existence. My hobbies are mostly reading, obsessing over anime and shows, and some slight gaming. I am a third-degree black belt in Taekwondo and did swimming but due to an injury I have switched to doing archery recreationally. I have been traveling a lot recently and am going to Stanford this summer (both very excited and nervous).

I have really been enjoying your content so far. Congrats on 500 subscribers. ❤️

I match you with 𝐈𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐒𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝

this one was a bit of a draw between Lilia and Idia, but Idia won me over in the end for a few reasons

The First Impression:

Idia is always nervous around new people (and a little pretentious). He considers you a normie for a while before overhearing you talking about one of his favorite animes, which both humbles and excites him. It takes him months just to work up the nerve just to ask for your Magicord handle, if you have one (with lots of enthusiastic encouragement from Ortho).

Why He Fell:

"You're different from everyone else" is the initial rationale. You're like him! Well... kind of. There's always this lingering feeling that you're too cool for him, but you still hang out together, so maybe you aren't aware of it yet...?

Either way, he's totally taking advantage of this until you do drop him for a cooler friend.

But... you don't.

What starts off as messaging turns to voice calls which turns to video calls, and soon you're hanging out in his room. By that point, he's already too far gone.

It's not just that you make him comfortable, it's that you challenge him. He's already mega impressed by your smarts, and your athletic background is a little intimidating for someone who would get blown away by a strong breeze (but seriously!? Martial arts? he thinks that's the coolest thing in the world, like you're straight from a shounen anime). You're not only someone he can talk to, but someone he can discuss and debate things with.

(...I think there's also something to be said about Taekwondo in itself. It requires a lot of discipline, patience, strength, and routine, which Idia both understands and admires. It's a lot like working with technology, in a way).

The Relationship:

Whether or not you guys end up getting "together" is totally up to you, because he would not ask first. Though, Idia can be surprisingly open to lots of different types of relationships (given that he feels important enough), so it's not really a big deal to him. He's just happy to have your company. Ecstatic, really.

Either way, you can be sure he'll always be online if you need him. Your discussions, whether through messages or IRL, are always enriching for the both of you, and Idia could never get enough of them. He loves dissecting your favorite media together, either one of you infodumping, and hearing about you and your life. He finds himself caring a lot about your feelings and wellbeing. And your opinions, your thoughts, so on and so forth...

...Hey, maybe your travel stories will even inspire him to get out more! You never know.

And you can be sure he'll spoil and baby your cats to the fullest extent.

[letstalkwhump]

Let's Talk Whump

Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump, a series of interviews that spotlight the amazing people in our whump community! This is Izzy and Malice and we’ll be your hosts today. 

Here with us today is the one and only @whumpsday!

Let’s start with a fact or two about yourself!

My name is Mill and I’m 26! Aside from the whump hobbies of writing and roleplaying, I also play TTRPGs. (My favorites are everything in the Awaken Realms catalogue: Etherfields and Tainted Grail, and I’ll start ISS Vanguard after I finish the Etherfields expansions. Gonna start Vampire the Masquerade soon too.) I haven’t played any roleplay-based TTRPGs like D&D yet, but I’d love to someday. My favorite color is red and my favorite animal is the cat.

That’s sweet as! What does whump mean to you? 

Creative content involving characters’ pain would probably be the broadest definition that still includes everything. I consider it a subgenre of horror, with the added bonus of often showing the gritty recovery from the trauma.

And how did you find the whump community? What made you want to join? 

I originally found whump fiction on AO3 while browsing G/t content (Giant/tiny, content for characters with size differences, such as one being 4 inches tall. It’s the other niche art/writing community I’m in.) That led me to tumblr, and here I am! I’d always enjoyed whump-type content as far as I can remember. I lurked for a couple of years before finally making an account and joining because I was eager to share the stories of my daydream characters.

Do you think the way you view whump has changed since joining the community here? 

It hasn’t changed much! Always been an OC writer and still am. But I’ve only been here for a year and a half.

Now the important questions: what is your favourite whump trope?

My favorite whump trope is probably an immortal whumpee. With a human, you’re bound by the constraints of a human body. People die if you torture them too much. But if your whumpee is immortal, that goes away and the possibilities are limitless. Bonus if they’re a generally-despised species like a vampire or demon.

Immortal whumpee are so good! Endless possibilities equals endless whump! Would you like to share some of your writing with us?

My main series, Kane & Jim, is undoubtedly my favorite. I never thought I could be a writer, and I’m proud of myself for writing 50 chapters of that and counting. Within that, my favorite piece is either Hunger (#15) or Papercut (#17). Link: https://whumpsday.tumblr.com/post/709301997070909440/kane-jim-masterlist-writing-order-click 

Love the authors notes on Papercut #17! What's your writing style like?

I generally write in the late night (anytime from 11pm to 4am) in big blocks. I do not eat or listen to music, and have a water bottle nearby. I used to write very regularly but have since fallen off, and have just recently gotten back on track.

Is there an easy thing for you to write, something the words usually flow for? Is there something you struggle with writing? 

I always find it easier to write single-scene chapters with no cuts. I find it more difficult to write things spanning long lengths of time with time skips abound.

And are you working on anything at the moment? 

I am currently working on my pieces for the Whumpmas in July event (@whumpmasinjuly), which will be half Kane & Jim works and half one-shot short stories.

I’m so excited for Whumpmas in July, it’s such a cool event! Do you have a joke or pun you would like to share to spread some smiles today?

I’m not too good at jokes, so instead have my favorite cat video of all time for a smile: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rELs4jl64k 

Aww kittens! That’s definitely a smile from me! Is there any writing advice you’d like to share?

You don’t have to write everything in order. If something in a piece is giving you trouble, slap a “COME BACK HERE” label on it and move on to something the inspiration is flowing for.

Finally is there anyone you’d like to mention?

Sorry this is a lot… I have too much love in my heart <3

@anomalys-taxonomy, @blackberry-bloody, @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night, @emmettnet, @lost-in-labradorite-halls, @lumpofwhump, @not-a-space-alien, @obsessedwithegos, @oddsconvert, @pardonmekreature, @quietly-by-myself, @t0rture-me, @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump, @whump-queen, @whumperstorm, @whumpshaped, @whumpwillow, @wolfeyedwitch, @whumpy-writings, @whumpzone

Any last words?

i forced myself to use proper capitalization for this interview but i’m a lowercase guy at heart

Thank you so much for joining us today! It was great to have you on the show!

And to all you folks at home, have a whump-derful day!

[hamsamwich23]

Well hello there!

Howdy! My name is Sam and/or Mort.

I'm a 20 year old queer-asexual demiboy who uses he/they/it/xe pronouns. I am polyamorous and have one partner whom I love dearly💛

My main hobbies right now are creative writing and photography, but I also enjoy video games, roleplaying, cooking/baking, and reading in my spare time.

My bigger interests right now are Hello Puppets, 1nv&d³r Z¹m, Doki Doki Literature Club, Undertale/Deltarune, Cats Are Liquid, Pressure (Roblox), Regretavator (Roblox) and Cult Of The Lamb.

Video game interests (or games I Enjoy): Milk Inside/Outside A Bag Of Milk, Sucker for love! Games series, smile for me, Amanda The Adventurer, Undertale Yellow, Happy game, Night In The Woods, Limbo, Inside, *Omori*, The Dog Island, Minecraft, Needy Streamer Overload, *Bendy and the ink machine*, Yo-Kai Watch (1st and 2nd games), Hollow Knight, Okami, Backrooms games, Sonic Frontiers, I'm On Observation Duty, Among Us.

Show/series interests: Don't Hug Me I'm Scared, Adventure Time, Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood (just started), Tuca and Bertie, Nexo Knights, Ninjago, The Mandela Catalogue, Angel Hare

Music interests: GHOST/GHOST and pals, Lily Vane, RIProducer, Jack Stauber, Vocaloid, Peculiar audios, Penelope Scott

Misc interests/just stuff I like: Welcome Home project, Liminal Space, Moths, Space, The Backrooms lore, SCP Foundation lore, stickers, plushies,

*- I do not support the creator(s) behind these. And if anyone behind above listed interests has done something that I am unaware of then feel free to inform me.

I dabble in Self-shipping sometimes...I'm perfectly fine with sharing f/o's just don't be. Like. Weird or nasty about it? Like be chill be respectful and we're all good

My DMS are always open to mutuals who want to talk, or anyone who's interested in my AUS or wants to talk about mutual interests, however please note that I have physical and mental health issues as well as work a full time job and am not always active or able to respond. I just appreciate any patience when it comes to talking to me.

My Two current main AUS at this moment are:

Unreality Au: A multi-fandom AU inspired by weirdcore and horror themes where the world has been overtaken by a unknown curse caused by dark magic. OCs and Characters from Hello Puppets, Doki Doki Literature Club, Undertale (somewhat), Fetch from mf Fazbear frights, MAYBE pressure (as a little treat) and Hatsune Miku. This story so far is planned to be told through one shots and short fanfiction. Not every fandom listed here is part of official lore but is implied to exist in the same universe for my own little fun

If interested, you can follow my blog: @unreality-au-content-hoard

Dimension 2020 AU: Revamped I/Z au featuring my Z¹msona/OC Twenty rewritten (as when I was younger the au was poorly written/executed). The new summary of this story is as follows:

"After being lost and found as a mere smeet, Twenty is finally able to move past the incident from years ago and live a normal life among other young irkens within the academy. Everything is going very well...until one day..... everything begins to go wrong."

While I will post links to the official fanfiction when it is started as well as updates on Instagram, I will not be posting anything about it on Tumblr for my own comfort.

Aside from these projects, Writing commissions and trades are CLOSED for an indefinite amount of time, as I am too busy to fulfill any more work. However, requests for Unreality one shots or suggestions are usually open.

DNI

While I am fully aware that people will most likely ignore my DNI boundaries, I am still going to put them out here that I will just block you if I see anyone in my DNI interacting with me. I may even end up blocking people out of paranoia or due to compulsions. I very much utilize the block button.

You will be blocked if you are- bigoted in any way/shape/form, pr0sh¹p/c∅msh¹p/similar, ship discourse focused blog, LGBTQ+ discourse focused blog, Rad-exclusive, a pro-harassment antishipper, people against self-shipping and/or OC x Canon, support use of AI art and AI content, support creators like Viziepop and JKrowling (or anyone I'm uncomfortable with), people who believe "black washing" is a thing and/or defend whitewashing, L∅l¹/sh∅t& con supporters/enjoyers, people who call themselves "M.A.Ps" (pedos. You're pedophiles), and anything similar to what is mentioned above

Though technically, even if you are none of the above, I still end up blocking people out of paranoia or if they give me bad vibes. I understand that it is irrational, however it is for my comfort and mental health.

Kink/NSFW blogs are okay to interact, but if you're pr/ship or make fetish art of minors/siblings/ect then uhhhh get lost

Please do NOT talk to me about Ship Discourse, LGBTQ+ Discourse, The Walten Files (ill allow it if we're mutuals) I.Z Fandom Discourse, The Amazing Digital Circus (I'll allow it if we're mutuals), HazbinHotel/HelluvaBoss

Tags

Tags I would recommend blocking if they make you uncomfortable are:

woah sam that's REALLY gay - suggestive tag for future just in case(?)

morts sad time - vent tag

If you're interested in my works or talking outside my Tumblr, my socials are below!

Discord: hamsamwich23

Instagram: hamsamwich23

Wattpad: hamsamwich23

SquidgeWorld: hamsamwich23

And most importantly...

This blog stands with the people of Palestine, Congo, Sudan, and the many other countries that are suffering and struggling right now. Below me is a post linking to resources to help these countries and more.

This master document was originally created by Seaweedlagoon on Twitter/"X" and reposted on Tumblr by user eggyolkperona3000

Thank you for reading!!

[obsoleteozymandias]

Hello, hello! May I request a matchup for Stardew Valley please? I use she/her pronouns and am more interested in the bachelors. I'm 5'7", Virgo, ISFP, and a night owl. I have dark brown eyes and the same color for my hair which is shoulder-length which I like to keep tied into a tucked-in bun. My hobbies include drawing, playing video games, watching anime/films, and listening to horror fiction podcasts. I also used to keep a dream diary which would serve as creative inspirations.

I initially tend to be quiet and reserved but once I get acquainted with someone, I am actually quite open and can ramble on and on about certain subjects. Even so, if I am in a group, I'll mostly stay quiet. Because I'm more of a listener and can be quite understanding and honest with others, I think that's why friends often confide in me and I try my best to offer advice and consolation even though I personally am not great with words and am terrified of accidentally offending others. Despite this, I can curse like a sailor if I am annoyed (and I'm usually patient so if I'm ticked off, I'm go off like a bomb).

I am not an active person at all nor do I have enough stamina. Like if I go out somewhere and come back home, even for a simple errand, that is it, I need to stay in and recharge for the rest of the day. I dislike crowded areas so I actually prefer to stay in during weekends and chill. Other major flaws I have is that I keep seeking valdiation from others and am lack self-confidence. Sometimes I can be self-conscious and sometimes I'm just tired and don't give a crap. My work & sleep schedule and balance is all over the place especially because once I start working on something that I'm really immersed in, it's hard for me to give myself a break until it's done.

Some favorites and more preferences.. Even though I should be more compatible with cats, I adore dogs, especially the bigger breeds (but I still like cats too!). My favorite season is autumn (jacket & hoodie season! apple cider & pie! and Halloween!!) while least favorite is summer (I hate HATE humidity & mosquitos are my archnemesis). I like all sorts of foods but I gravitate towards cheesy, spicy foods and noodles (must have pickled side dishes). I am very selective with seafood and am not much of a drinker (though I will occasionally enjoy beer especially when paired with fried chicken). My favorite flower in the game is the fairy rose because it looks similar to my actual fave flower ranunculus. My ideal date would either be staying in with a dinner & movie or a peaceful afternoon walk at a park or alongside a riverbank.

Thank you for taking your time to read through this!

I’m a matchup-pilled request-maxxer

== Stardew Valley ==>

I match you up with…

Harvey

Harvey and you get along like a house on fire, kinda in a ‘love at first sight’ way. He’s immediately enamoured with you. 

I imagine you may visit him often due to your lack of energy, and he’s quick to give you an energy tonic, or encourage you to rest a bit on the cots. 

Then he tells you to go rest upstairs…in this apartment. 

And one time he comes back to find you asleep on his couch, your face glowing in the sunset…and he’s absolutely head over heels. 

Harvey’s passion for radio and planes matches well with your ability to listen. He’s embarrassed to talk about it at first, but he is so quick to feel comfortable around you that it’s forgotten soon after. 

The way you nod along and listen to him when he rambles has him a blushing mess. 

Park dates and watching movies together with this guy are soooo cute. He loves to tell you all about nature and the body as you two walk along hand in hand, and he’ll lean onto you as you watch a movie, entwining your hands and kissing your cheek. 

I imagine Harvey is the kind of guy who wants to help you just as you’ve helped him. If you help him overcome his fear of heights, then he’ll help you with your self esteem, especially if it means telling you he loves you and coating your face with kisses in the morning. 

[dotster001]

Hi grats on 1k!!!<3 id like to participate in the event too if you don’t mind i choose twisted wonderland

My OG: Riddle has always been the favorite child lol i first learned of what twisted wonderland was through my first matchup result here on tumblr before i knew what twisted wonderland was. The headcanon was so cute and i fell in love with him and his design when i started researching and it led me to falling in love with the game itself too. Obviously I chose his hand first when the game finally came to global and he was on my first home-screen and is still there to this day although there have been times i considered switching with malleus or azul i couldn’t bring myself too lol. He reminds me of a little red angry cat who just needs love 🥺.

About me: huh what do i say lol. well I’m a cis female, pronouns she/her, my mbti is infj, my enneagram type is 2w1, my zodiac is a Capricorn, im african American 5’2 with black wavy/curly hair blackish brown eyes chubby cheeks and hour glass figure.

I would describe me as kind smart funny motherly responsible empathetic anxious emotional moody perfectionist helpful people pleaser caring compassionate nerdy curious protective polite respectful indecisive fearful nervous introvert shy awkward and clumsy. My weaknesses would be low self esteem and lack of confidence.

I like animals books reading writing fantasy magic sci fi anime cartoons music video games friends alone time learning personality quizzes sweets bread and helping people.

I dislike spiders loud sounds people who harm others people i care about not caring for themselves people who don’t consider others not being listened to weird holes and patterns math and tests.

Random facts about me would be that i pace a lot i talk to myself i sing when im alone and im a picky eater i have a pet cat and two sisters.

What kind of tale do i want: i dont know get creative i suppose maybe something fluffy and romantic i dont mind a little angst tho if you want as long as there is a happy ending. Just go nuts and surprise me if you can.

Thank you

(Hi I hope you like this! I was inspired by the fact that you got a match up before even knowing the game 😂 the story practically wrote itself.)

A Tale Where Riddle is Set up on a Blind Date, and it works out Better than Expected

"Trust me, Riddle, she's lit! You're gonna love her!"

"Sure Cater, but I don't have time for your nonsense."

Three weeks now. Three weeks of Cater trying to set him up on a blind date with some girl. He tried to be polite. But Cater wasn't taking the hint. And now Riddle was pretty sure he was about to lose it.

"Look, one date with her. One date and I promise, you'll be head over heels for her!"

Riddle was about to snap, when Trey heaved a heavy sigh. 

"Look, Riddle, you know normally I would never enable Cater. But in this case, I think he's right. I think you will genuinely enjoy a date with this girl."

If Trey was saying it, then there must be some truth to the matter.

"Okay, then you tell me, Trey. Who is she?"

Trey winced, "I can't say, you just have to trust me."

"Why can't you say?" Riddle asked with a pout.

"Because blind dates are more fun!"

"Because she didn't even agree until yesterday."

Two very different answers overlapped. Riddle folded his arms across his chest and frowned.

"Riddle, just trust me. If it goes badly you can collar  Cater forever, and I won't say a word," Trey said with a smirk.

"Hey!" Cater cried, but Riddle was slowly nodding in agreement.

"Alright then. You said you got her to agree. When is this date?" 

Cater winced, and muttered below his breath, "Tonight."

"Tonight!" Riddle shouted. "What if I had said no? How am I supposed to be ready in such a short time?"

"It's okay! I have an outfit picked out for you that I've been waiting to have you try!" Cater said, pushing Riddle in the direction of his room.

Needless to say, Riddle was less than excited to try out the new outfit.

                                            ….

Riddle was dressed casually for the first time in his entire life. Black jeans,  white Tshirt, red unbuttoned flannel on top of the Tshirt. He had to admit, it was comfortable, but he still felt a little out of place…

He'd been informed that his date would know what he was wearing, and would have a red rose in her hair. So he waited patiently at his table, until he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Riddle?" 

The rose in your hair was lovely. You looked good in red. 

Those were his first two thoughts before he realized you were his blind date.

"Prefect? You're…."

"Yeah," you laughed, "I guess so."

You took a seat across from him, and Riddle took a sip of water to hopefully hide his flushed cheeks.

"Can I tell you the truth?" You said sheepishly. "I only agreed to this because Cater accidentally hinted that the blind date was you."

Riddle's face went even redder and he tried to sputter out a good response, but it came out as….

"Beautiful! So pretty!"

You furrowed your brow. "I mean, yeah, you do look pretty in the casual clothes I guess."

"Sevens," he muttered, taking another sip of water and trying not to choke. "You look beautiful."

You stared for a moment. Then you giggled. "Heh, thanks."

There was a heavy silence for a moment, and Riddle decided that if you were honest, he should be too.

"I kept turning Cater down because I didn't think he'd be setting me up with you."

The back of your neck prickled and your gaze dropped to the floor.

"We seem to be in agreement then."

"Yes," he took your hand, and softly rubbed his thumb along your knuckles. 

He grinned maliciously. 

" Even if we weren't, rule 137 states that if you get set up on a blind date with the queen, you are required to date until the next blind date occurs."

"You made that up!"

"I would never!" He pressed a hand to his chest in mock indignation. "I take my position very seriously."

"Well, rule 76 in my rulebook says that if the queen makes up a rule,  then she has to date me until I say otherwise."

You loved his genuine smiles. So when his face radiated like the sun, your heart skipped a beat.

"I guess we're stuck together."

"I guess so."

"Well, I'll make the most of it then," he confidently kissed the back of your hand, like a prince greeting his princess.

                                   ….

From the back of the restaurant Cater looks on in mild disappointment.

"I guess they don't need us to serenade them then."

Trey set the microphone down with a relieved laugh.

"Told you so."

[ahopelessprincessreincarnation]

Just now, I made a quick little digital art sketch-doodle drawing or something on my phone's IbisPaintX App while watching a random YouTube video where some dude on his Channel talks about fictional media or whatever(I hate how much I enjoy video essays and calmer-toned rants)and I had gotten inspired by a random GachaTuber who is attempting to create more 2000s moe style anime stuff which I am sorta growing fond of specifically. I was looking up random tutorials too to freshen up some rusty basic skills I could learn again and I decided I wanted to draw a cute/kawaii feminine boy neko/cat person I guess lmfao. While I was drawing however, I guess the subject matter made me think about how when I look up stuff relating to men who are feminine, so much of it(and please forgive me if I'm mistaken)seems so...Idk sexual in undertones if not upfront??I don't wanna sound like a prude or anything, as long as you're not doing anything immoral I really don't care, it's just that it kinda sucks because it seems like so many people treat it like some sort of fetish instead of a way boys can express themselves. I've also heard that the original terms such as the t-word(tr*p) or the FB word(F*mboy) had come from really gross degrading porn categories that had seemingly took a part in the violence against and suffering of trans women/trans girls or atleast trans fems. I sorta want to make a character that's still super cutesy and kind and gentle, but at the same time isn't super sexual inherently you know? Hope there's no hard feelings or anything, sorry if I'm not explaining stuff correctly QwQ.

[nrc-extras]

Hello, hello! You might have seen us. You might not have! We are a blog of simple extras in the life of NRC.

For safety and privacy measures, we will not be revealing our identities! Lest our,,, Dormheads get us,,, you understand, yes?

Good! Let's introduce ourselves then, at least.

The Crew is made of 6 people, I am the main Video Taker, known as Cameraman! <3

[ flashes of blue and red, colours of Pomefiore decorate the cameraman. ]

The others often adress themselves whenever they comment.

— Cameraman!

#Rules !

(Wow that's so Heartslabyul core

— Heartslabyuls Cat)

#1 We are a group of 6! If you want to chat with one of us, make sure to be explicit to which one of you want to chat with/ask! One of us might also answer it instead of the intended one.

#2 We are, again, 6. Most of us use He/Him, but some also use They/Them. The rest of us don't mind it being used when you're not sure which one of you're talking to. Both are safe!

#3 We won't take anything Not Safe For Work! We are a safe space (with shenanigans and fun time!) and occasional swearing from some of our crew, but otherwise remain age friendly.

We won't state which year we are in, but some of us are still minors!

#4 We aren't very,,, strict on the anonymous rule we have. If you see our dorm colours in the videos, that's enough. Our camera quality is intentional bad, so we don't capture people that don't want to he captured OR our faces, even if sometimes it seems pretty obvious of who we are,,,

For individual introductions and more of us, scale up the levelling chart!

#5 While we do prefer our semi anonymous state, no one is excluded on this blog! Be it other extras, actual Ocs or Dormheads! Yes, Riddle is included as well.

With this rule, I officially invite Dormleader Draconia to this blog.

— Diasomnias Owl

#6 (lucky number!) IF you see people suspiciously looking like us or,,, our colours,,?? Fighting, just continue what you're doing.

Some of our crew (cough, Scarabians Tiger, cough) get their enrichment through that, if it's a Mouse beastman you see running, however, he got what he was building up for!

Our rat boy (affectionate) likes dishing out stuff he isn't prepared to receive complaints of :]

Toodles!

With kind regards, the crew.

And now to the owner of this blog ;]

Hi! I'm single handedly causing chaos in the form of 6 characters. They're all very much inspired by background characters of the Main Disney Movies circling around Twst.

The crew itself works with 2 Heartslabyul extras, 1 Pomefiore, 1 Scarabia, 1 Octavinelle, and 1 Diasomnia.

For individual character moments, they will be featured with the tags of #Heartslabyuls Mouse #Heartslabyuls Cat #Pomefiores Raven #Scarabias Tiger #Octavinelles Great Shark and #Diasomnias Owl

Most of these characters have been created inspired by multiple muses and are therefore much more complex than your usual extra.

Don't let me ramble now~ the inbox of the boys are always open! Feel free to come by, as simple oc, another extra or main character! For ships or duos, I would love to go to Dms for that!

[mewpirate]

A few general starson headcanons !

I am SOOOO NOT NORMAL ABOUT him

- he really likes mac and cheese , it's one of the foods he only wants to eat .

- other foods that he really likes to eat is pudding, strawberry cheesecake , and bell peppers

- he's a picky eater , probably because of poor dieting from Milo because Milo was also a picky eater.

-blasian , specifically Jamaican and Chinese

- 6 years old

- he really picks things up from Milo, that includes swearing and picky eating , along with being a little abrasive .

- he does have a few nicknames given by the crew , like Chick pea , little cancan (a reference to the yellow canary bird) , Goldie , Sunny boy , swine (NAME GIVEN BY HORACE IM SORRY LMAOOOO) , Stella ( y'know how some parents misname you like that when they're busy? That's what Milo does) and Starsy

- unfortunately he finds Milo has a older - brother / father figure since he never had a father .

- he does view Sariah as a "substitute mommy" but nothing can top his real one

- speaking of parents , His mummy is a star goddess (I've posted about her before) . Starson talks about her A LOT but most of the crew thinks hes lying or showing off , right until in an unaired episode where the Jolly hounds went to space and explored the galaxy ( this was inspired by that one deleted concept of Snow White and the prince dancing on a cloud with stars)

- he crash landed onto earth as a baby . The crew took him in .

- I'll explain this as best as I can, his appearance is like a half-moon half sun . Idk just think of Sundrop .

- I took a little bit of inspo after hearing @candle-cove-character-requests 's headcanon that starson is similar to a starfish. I like the idea that starson literally HATES sea stars/starfish , he finds it uncanny valley . (Kinda like that one video where a cat gets scared of a badly made plush of said cat) He does calm down about their appearance in later seasons , but he still feels like really uncomfortable when they are mentioned . He views them as a distorted , ruined version of the night stars. He hates how they feel hates how they crawl (tbh he's right though they are genuinely scary when walking in full 2x speed and a buuuuunch of sensory issues . Milo calls him Starfish / little seastar to annoy him .

- since he is the only black crew member and the other crew members either don't know how to handle his hair type or they don't care in general his hair gets a little matted and tangled unfortunately 💔💔💔 he keeps it under his bandana

- he's a little sleepyhead from time to time during the day , he usually stares out into the windows at night , thinking of his home world.

- he and Kimothy are a silly goofy duoooo I cannot quit thinking about them this duo needs to be normalized they are toy-box coded especially the songs best friend and ET and that one " i am both beef bastard everyone knows I am the ultimate master !" Song by Neil cigara or whatever I can't spell

- after he was killed by Milo he woke up back into his homeworld with his mama 💔💔💔 but in a lil ghost form since star people come back into the sky after they died on earth (IF they are on earth) .

- poor boy barely knows about his culture because he's been stranded on earth for God knows who and has been taken in by a bunch of white/nonblack pirates 💔

- he has a pilled brown stuffed rabbit that Roger sewed him , he named it cosmic ⭐

[realtasagartach]

I Have Thoughts, and I Must Write

Warning: Some spoilers

A couple of weeks ago, GLITCH and @gooseworx released The Amazing Digital Circus, a brand-new indie show. And it really is amazing. A short summary: Several humans are transported to a computer game with seemingly no way to escape. The ringmaster, an AI named Caine, comes up with different adventures to keep the captives “from going insane” as Ragatha put it. And when they do give up… Let’s just say it’s not pretty.

There are theories galore already with the pilot episode, and I’ve seen many videos that touch on the “C & A” thing that we see in that backrooms-esque thing Pomni runs through. But I’m not going to talk about that. I’m going to talk about a couple of things I’ve noticed that nobody else seems to be touching on.

Firstly, the fact that everyone forgets their names is genuinely terrifying. It’s the scariest part of the whole situation for me. In an early doodle gooseworx drew, it shows Pomni and Jax in which Jax says that they also forget what they looked like as humans. I don’t know about you, but if someone stripped me of my identity and tossed me onto a tiny island, I’d go absolutely nuts. More than Pomni by the end of it all. I think I could cope better if I could just remember my name and appearance.

Next is the fact that these characters can no longer eat, drink, or sleep now that they’re in the digital world. But they can feel pain? In the episode, Ragatha gets glitchy after encountering another character who “Abstracted” and crawled to where everyone is to be fixed up. She cries out, “I am in so much pain!” Now, I’d probably brush this off as an exaggeration if it were anyone else (Jax has said he’s hungry and asked if anyone wants to grab something to eat). Still, I’m inclined to believe that Ragatha is actually in pain and feels every bit of it. There was also one part where Jax was running, and he was out of breath. So, they need to breathe as well? Can they be suffocated? Can they feel anything else?

Keep in mind that this show has some inspiration from the post-apocalyptic story, I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream, in which an AI known as “AM” tortures the last few humans on Earth after decimating the planet and pushing them to their very limits. It’s more horrific than I’m letting on, and I don’t recommend anyone with sensitive stomachs to read it.

Lastly is Caine himself. I don’t know GLITCH or gooseworx, so I don’t know how much to trust them, but gooseworx has gone on record on Twitter that they’re a “fun-loving wacky little guy” even though he’s based on AM. I did notice something odd, though. GLITCH's channel has a series of “meet the character” shorts for every character in the episode. Every character besides Caine. That in itself is bizarre, but what's even stranger is that there is one for Bubble, the plucky sidekick to Caine that looks like they have the mentality of a fuecoco. Teeth like one, too. You’d think that the ringmaster of this circus would have his own introduction like everyone else. But he’s treated as more as The Cat from The Cat in the Hat. Someone who helps cause chaos but will help clean up when everything is done. I don’t know if I can take this at face value, but I’ll hold off on official judgment for the time being.

Bubble has his own short. Sure, Caine is there, but he’s not mentioned. Bubble is a character. But it doesn’t seem like Caine is. Something about Bubble is off somehow, and I don’t exactly trust him. If what gooseworx says is true, then Bubble is the most suspicious thing in this scenario. (Moon and Sun get the side-eye.)

So, these are my thoughts. I just had to get them out.