#i am OBSESSED with this production tbh

[bythepineappletrees]

This is a text post. We love Mike Faist in this house.

[celestialalpacaron]

Ayo, someone by the name of Curly-B-Blog is redlining art of yours from 2020 (while pretending that it's actually Sai Scribble's work), and kind of being a dick about it. just thought you should know.

You know, originally I was just gonna brush it off, but then I went back to look at my old SU art from 2020 and did so much self reflection from then till now.

I think this was around the time I was just learning how to do perspective and tried to use the perspective tool on Procreate for the first time? :0 and I remember telling Sai “Sai I have this STUPID idea, I CANT believe it this stupid joke it’s so DUMBBBB, it’s living rent free in my BRAIN I SWEAR THIS IS GONNA BE SO STUPID DCIUWHEFIUWHIRFUIW4F” and being super excited to show her the finished product. People still think Sai created the Cursed Skin Gloves comic and I think it’s hilarious wjhwnuhwijwuiw

The comic was received very well and it made LOTS of people laugh and I’m still proud of this comic to this very day! :D and tbh if it wasn’t for my obsession for Sai’s Switcheroo AU I never would have found my passion in comic work! (love you you stinky hoe @saiscribbles 🩷)

HOWEVER…. I definitely still had lots to learn! I wasn’t very good at perspective at the time I’ll admit, but I was definitely having lots of fun learning :3

And throughout the past 4 years, ALOT has happened.

I graduated from college with TWO fancy pieces of expensive papers in Visual Development in Animation and Illustration learning from Will Kim and Jeff Soto, and as a I was working with the funny voice man Cougar MacDowall as a comic/story artist and reached in total around 7 million views for my fan series FNAF Security Malware Breached (it was even #21 on the trending list around the time of my birthday 🩷 what a lovely gift), had an insane opportunity to work with Mike Geno and with the voice cast from The Amazing Digital Circus for a fan song as a background and character asset artist, Vivienne Medrano liking and sharing my silly Overlord Husk AU comics, currently on my route to getting my certificate from Aaron Blaise’s Character design program and graduating from Marc Brunet Art School, and now I am completing my first year as professional colorist and art assistant for my storyboard and comic mentor Michelle Lam, aka Mewtripled! (Also I’ll be heading out to Lightbox Expo 2024 on October 26 with Michelle and the team so if y’all ever wanna meetup hahahajaj wink wink wink wink wink)

So you can say I learned ALOT and I enjoyed every minute of what I do :D I try to be humble about my accomplishments because blah blah being humble good yes yes but this time I wanna be selfish and say HELL YEAH I DID ALL THIS!!! AND IM SO EXTREMELY PROUD OF MYSELF FIUGEIURGERGGRS

Now here’s my most recent comic page that I posted like 2 days ago without the text.

That’s pretty freakin wild to me, I can’t believe I used to draw Steven Universe art like that back in 2020 LOL LIKE GUYS I DREW THIS!! WITH!!! MY HANDS!!! IS THAT NOT INSANE!!!???

Anyways moral of the story:

Learn from everyone and everything! Yes, even then mean ones too! If you can learn to work with anyone, I promise you’ll get to where you want to be faster. People can be a little mean on the internet, but that shouldn’t stop you from being where you want to be in the future. I’m so EXTREMELY grateful for all the opportunities and to all the kind professionals who were willing to give me a chance. Seriously, I’m so graciously thankful for everything, and I hope everyone here will support me and my silly little comics I will do now and in the future!

And one more thing:

Don’t be a jerk. Be to be nice to everyone :D nothing good comes out when you’re bad to everyone.

[dangermousie]

Now that I’ve checked out enough of all three newly-ish cdramas: Fangs of Fortune, Love Game in Eastern Fantasy and The Story of Pearl Girl, the results are kinda surprising.

I am, as you can tell, OBSESSED with Fangs. That is unexpected because while the trailer was gorgeous I couldn’t really figure out much that would make me obsessed from the summary and all the actors except TJR were either ones I am indifferent to or downright dislike normally. And now I love them all. I don’t know what’s the biggest surprise for me - Cheng Xiao, until now literally my least favorite actress from any country’s dramas, giving a good performance that makes me invested or HMH who I remember thinking of as so handsome but so bland but is now just utterly on fire and has entered Dylan in CLJ “you had THAT in you? How?” territory. And the story and the themes and the visuals! I haven’t seen a drama catering this hard to my personal narrative and character preferences since Novoland Eagle Flag.

Eastern Fantasy is even more of a surprise tbh. At least I was interested in peeking at Fangs for the visuals. I almost didn’t even check out Eastern Fantasy at all. I enjoyed the novel but that is never a guarantee of anything with adaptations (and it was never a major love of a book anyway), I like Esther a lot but not enough to watch stuff just for her. DYX is someone I have a soft spot for but not a single drama of his worked for me in years to the extent I kept joking he’s cursed. I hated all the trailers and posters - they looked kooky and not in a good way. Plus my track record of liking it when shows try to go for funny is abysmal and the whole thing seemed targeted to an audience that is so young they are still in middle school.

Only checked out because I had some time and omg it’s funny and clever and darling and the performances and characters and dynamics and the vibe are all on point (and so is potential for angst.) Soooooo good!

And now Pearl. It was by far my most anticipated of the three - trailer was cool, love the leads (and the fact that they reunited!) etc etc. But now? It’s a solid enough drama and enjoyable but it’s my least favorite of the three. A lot of it is genre viewer mismatch - I don’t really like “woman makes her name in trade with a side of hot scary man who eventually helps her” (see 2022 A Dream of Splendor - a well acted big hit that left me utterly cold.)

I just don’t care about the mechanics of trade or Horatio Alger stories even if Horatio in this case is a beautiful young woman. ZLS starts talking about cuts of profit for selling jewel waste products and my brain shuts down. It doesn’t help that while I find LYN character realistic for who he’s supposed to be, their dynamics so far do not make me ship them in the least and in fact I want her to lightly stab him (I genuinely don’t see how it will switch to her liking him.) It’s the same issue I had with Dream as well - just as here the chemistry was great but it was not a shippy dynamic that does it for me.

Oh well, that’s why it’s fun to watch new things, you never know…

[lunarriviera]

yet another shen yi meta [uts2 spoilers]

hi hey hello everyone i continue to be tormented with obsessive thinkings about s2 Shen Yi so i must holler about them/him some more, feel free to stop reading if you have not watched through approximately episode 11 which is where i still am. it's taking me longer to watch because i keep pausing to rewind/screenshot and/or weep in anguish about Him and What He Is Going Through. and how NO ONE IS PAYING ATTENTION. or insufficient attention. cf. Ryan Gosling in the Papyrus sketch screaming WELL IT WASN'T!! ENOUGH!!

[more. much more. behind the cut]

let's start here, with shen yi's artwork. in this scene he competed with AI to paint a chosen image and, surprising exactly no one, he won, partly because he's brilliant but tbh mostly because AI art is garbage and always adds dolphins, rainbows, and hands with six fingers.

but here's the thing: is no one going to question this? does anyone think to themselves "ah yes, shen yi is absolutely the BEST person in the world to make a painting in 30 minutes that depicts, quote, a lonely man on a beach." so here is this miserably hunched, despairing figure, surrounded by murky howling early-picasso blue, LOOKING IN FACT QUITE A LOT LIKE SHEN YI HIMSELF—even dressed like him (in the snowy white and dainty pastels he seems to favor this season)—and not a single person thinks: huh, wonder if this guy's okay?

in fact s2 seems to be repeated evidence of the fact that shen yi is Very Much Not Okay, and yet no one is really paying attention. he supports everyone else emotionally and they all seem to assume he either a) has no emotional blowback to deal with, or b) can deal with it himself unaided somehow. (through painting, maybe? but have you seen what he's painting lately? e.g. monstrous abusive parent figures, in some kind of breathless fugue state during which he can psychically hear lines from someone else's traumatic childhood?) he goes to li han's house to help her, which is so like him, and he says:

oh! you might think. well, maybe he will self-disclose a little? tell li han about some of his own personal difficulties that he's had to overcome, just to bond with her, get her to open up? HAHAHA ARE YOU NEW HERE, of course he doesn't, he just listens to her while she sobs out her tragic backstory, gives her a tissue, relates her struggles to a vaguely terrifying metaphor of his own device about a sealed room filling up ineluctably with floodwater, then smiles and takes her out for pizza. (totally unrelated but wow the product placement is heavy-handed this season. xiaomi! pizza hut!)

since we're talking about the li han case, consider this moment, too, when he interprets someone's house-person-tree drawing. does no one ever think, "for someone who talks constantly about love and connection, how interesting that shen yi has no family, refuses to date in very pointed and deliberate way, and lives alone with a cat."

shen yi knows all about love! never shuts up about love! constantly dispensing bromides about what real love should be like! and wakes every day ALONE from horrific guilty nightmares ft. creepy small girl in blood-red dress, pls will no one help this man pls he's drowning.

couple more bits and then i swear to god i'll shut up i'm starting to feel really stupid. but first consider this little story, in three parts:

"an image of despair" um okay well…technically it's just a dead body, albeit after a fairly grisly stabbing, but sure go off i guess

2. du cheng: wow even for you that was unusually poetic and weird

3. also du cheng: back to investigating the murder i guess [wanders away]

this kind of thing happens again. and again. either no one notices assorted horrified/devastated expressions on shen yi's face (in the way of classic extradiegetic reaction shots, where the camera sees them—we see them—but none of the characters onscreen do) or, when du cheng does notice, he's immediately distracted by his actual job, and/or the fact that he doesn't really know how to help his partner, because lbr he has all the emotional intelligence of a pony.

one more mini-story in three parts, and then i really will put a sock in it:

shen yi: why, what did i do. why are you looking at me like that

2. du cheng: bc you just lied your whole entire face off with alarming unsettling proficiency, since when are you that good at being dishonest

3. shen yi: hehe

in an earlier episode we also saw shen yi shouting at a suspect in the interrogation room, so convincingly that afterwards du cheng admits, you scared me. lol! says shen yi in carefree manner, i learned that from you! haha! agrees everyone, and they go about their business.

but ghastly things keep happening to and near him. at least once per episode, shen yi makes a face like this, because people are jumping off cliffs in front of him or abruptly smashing things with hammers or just lashing out with all kinds of antisocial behaviors in his vicinity:

to be fair, he has other expressions. for instance he also repeatedly employs his patented creepy ruthless smile, of the "i am going to fuck you up" variety, an expression reserved especially for criminals:

as well, i'm also leaving out all the ridiculously adorable/domestic scenes with him and du cheng, in which they share candy, roast each other about assorted nonsense, briefly co-parent a child, and, you know. are just generally disgustingly married. but that's a different meta.

also, admittedly du cheng does SAY things. he says, "are you still having trouble sleeping," he says "do i not care about you?" and "don't push yourself so hard" and "if you run into troubles, don't try to take them on alone." (i am sparing you all these screenshots since this is a meta about shen yi but trust me i have carefully accumulated every single shred of evidence in which du cheng is protective.) but, as frequently as du cheng expresses concern, he also just keeps clapping shen yi on the shoulder in a brotastic way and then strolling out. which i fear is just not going to be adequate. ("i don’t think this is literally papyrus. maybe that was the starting point but they clearly modified it?" "well whatever they did, IT WASN'T!! ENOUGH!!")

i leave you with two final images of shen yi, seen here continuing to be very much Not Okay, and to quote the bernie meme, i am ONCE AGAIN ASKING YOU, drama, is anyone going to care enough about this man to stop him going over the edge of the cliff with Evil Art Critic Eugenicist Moriarty Weasel Man? because he will, he will do it. because he's lonely and he's misunderstood and he's—

[cane comes out and drags me offstage]

[velvet-games]

he’s so normal :)

I actually drew this before a lot of the recent stuff I've been posting; it was just me trying to figure out a good redesign for vox. I might make a proper redesign explanation later, but here are some quick notes while I'm still playing with it:

vox trapzod and alastor trongle :)

^^ ok but unironically this was kind of a hard decision since I have mixed feelings about vox's body type

stuff I was considering:

1) vox is alastor's foil and has a similar body type to alastor at least in part because you're supposed to be comparing them (It's actually so cool cause I was watching TB Skyen's reaction to ep 2 and he immediately predicted that they would have beef lol)

2) tumblr sexyman bod <3

3) I LOVE @/bestosunglass' way of drawing him, and it made me realize that I kind of love the idea of vox being a little bigger than alastor? it's very big himbo puppy + lithe cat energy

4) not sure what my headcanons about vox's body are in terms of biological vs tech yet, but I think I want to lean toward tech (which is customizable)

I love the angst concept of vox having the freedom to change his body with relative ease, which makes him feel like he has to constantly update and update and update and update and update and it's never good enough because he could always change something and he'll never quite be good enough--

basically being a victim to his own progress-oriented mindset

and also treating himself like a product; if it's not working, if it's not the best, newest model, then it's broken and useless and disposable

tbh alastor's ability to find beauty and art in the old (not necessarily based on function, but on character and care) would be good for him

ooc or not, as someone with dysmorphia issues myself, I really want an "I like your body because it's yours" moment from alastor

I think all of that + toxic masculinity would probably mean vox would make himself comically buff (at least at first) lol

5) but I like drawing him kinda scrawny ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it's just weird because I kind of want to audience to pick up on the fact that he's not actually hypermasc but vox would totally (mostly successfully) broadcast that to the characters in the show

6) I think a trapezoid is a good shape for him! it contrasts well with alastor being a kind of sly and striking triangle shape. trapezoids are more interesting and dynamic than rectangles, but are still more stiff and business-like than triangles (p sure I am completely misunderstanding shape theory here but it makes sense to me lmao)

vox is such a mess of vibes? like he's a cult leader he's a televangelist he's a hypnotist he's a business shark he's a tech CEO he's a newscaster he's a TV he's a computer he's a literal shark he's a mastermind he's a pathetic fanboy

still not sure which of those is the most important/what should be obvious in his design

obsessed with the concept of TV knobs as buttons but it's kind of old fashioned

I headcanon him as having been a nerdy kid that got kicked in the shins for being obsessed with TV/tech lol

also hc him as being vaguely and very obliviously transfemme; the buffness can also be overcompensating for a lack of masculinity both physically and mentally

[0strawberrysorbet0]

𝑉𝑒𝑙𝑣𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑎 𝑜𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑓𝑒𝑚!𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟!

𝑉𝑒𝑙𝑣𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒 𝑥 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 (𝑜𝑏𝑣𝑖)

Was clearly goin for a pink thing with this today 🤷‍♀️

Pls enjoy this! Velvette is becoming a very unhealthy obsession of mine 😁

Please do not use/steal my work on this site or any other! Reblogs and likes are appreciated greatly!!

Warnings: Crazy oblivious, Jealous Vel, cursing, Valentino, my rushed ass writing

How did you get this gorgeous overlord wrapped tightly around your finger? Well, it all started when she recruited you for modelling, I mean you were gorgeous!! 😍

She had instantly made you her top model, pasting your face on every fashion magazine and billboard.

She even let you be in her live streams!!

In your head she was such a sweet boss, you felt like she was honestly your friend at this point!

But she wanted more, she wanted you to comment with hearts whenever she posted pictures of herself,

She wanted you to post pictures of you and her and caption them: 'with my beautiful girl❤' instead of 'with my beautiful boss ❤'.

She just wanted to be bae :/

She even got to the point where she'd leave you new dresses custom made for you, they'd be layed neatly on your bed with scribbled little notes about how "a pretty girl like you shouldn't dress so tacky!"

Gift giving was something she loved to do with you, dresses, flowers, shoes, chocolates, ect. If you even mention wanting or needing something it'll be on your bed at the end of the day.

She even (after throwing a fit and breaking a lot of shit) got your room moved closer to hers, she stated that it was just so another slimy bitch won't steal another one of her models.

NOT BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO BE AS CLOSE AS SHE COULD WITH YOU. not that reason AT ALL!

"Doll.. Doll wake up!" "Huh?.. Vel it's 6am.."

She had gotten into the habit of waking you up early for extra shoots, not that they'd ever be published. She'd put those in her room, just for her 😙

It got to the point where Vox and Val were trying to get her to ask you out! "I just don't get why you won't ask her out? Hm? Nervous princesa?~" "FUCK OFF VAL" Meanwhile Vox was just laughing his ass off.

She hadn't even meant to confess 😞 she was just screaming about you over the phone to Vox without realizing you were there the whole time.

"VOX SHUT UP, IT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS WHO I LIKE, AND I DON'T LIKE HER! I'M SERIOUS I DON'T LIKE (Y/N) LIKE THAT!"

" You don't like me? 😢"

"(Y/N)! Holy shit don't you knock?!" Girl is terrified tbh.

She had to confess now 😞 TWICE! Your oblivious ass didn't get it at first. "Oh I like you too! (≧∇≦)/"

Safe to say she turned the same shade as her hair. She was now your girlfriend! 𝘠��𝘶𝘳 girlfriend! She'd Brag about to everyone.

You think she spoiled you at first? Oh no. It's even worse now. Bags filling in your room, you dare mention a product? She bought it. Oh you like that dress? Take it.

Despite her tough act, she was a totally different person around you, still bratty but super clingy, she'd want you to hold her while she complained about her day.

"That bitch spilt something on that new dress! What am I going to do!? We have a shoot tomorrow!!"

I feel like she'd like her hair brushed, she'd love to be pampered and pamper you. She'd sit with a face mask on as you painted her nails.

In summary, the girl just wants to love you and be loved back. Even if you're a little slow sometimes. ❤

[midnight1nk]

...

[*sighs*] I HATE THEM SO MUCH (/affectionate)

Like you don't understand. The first thing I noticed was Three and Tari, it already got me spiraling.

We all know that Three loves explosive chaos, especially when he is the one who causes it. He literally has a shop called "III's Coffee & Bombs" for meme's sake. Mr Puzzles knows that. Not only because Three uses them in his productions, but because Three tried to bomb him in the final fight during the Puzzlevision Movie.

Basically, Mr Puzzles is like

"You tried to kill me with your precious bombs, let's see how much you like it when we switch places, huh?"

Same thing goes for Tari, she was the one who used her metal arm to shoot him. As much as she was scared of Mr Puzzles, she was incredibly brave to confront him in the final fight. Not only that, Clench was a part of it too.

But without her arm, Tari might feel powerless.

"Without your robotic arm, you are nothing but a coward." - Mr Puzzles, probably

As for Boopkins, we didn't get to see him in the trailer but we know he's trapped there in Puzzle Park.

We know he isn't a sea monster but I suppose for Mr Puzzles, he's literally "a fish out of water", too "different" compared to the rest of the crew. (Which is not true considering the roster here). Mr Puzzles must've been feeling the same way, being different from everyone else and no one liking him.

Then, there's Bob with the knives. Bob had swords for hands presumably because he was bullied by Baby Wario and Waluigi and wanted to act/look cool. He changed and he's content with who he is now. (wow, really going in for trans Bob, huh)

Mr Puzzles also changed, but it was due to his obsession.

Yeah... Mr Puzzles is really projecting his insecurities onto the SMG4 Crew, calling them freaks when he himself "qualifies" as one. Especially in the state he's in right now. Ironic, isn't it?

But in his eyes, he's different. He's superior. No one understands his view of thinking, they could never. They didn't for his art, they didn't for him as Mr Puzzles. (There is no way "Mr Puzzles" is his actual name, It feels more like a stage name tbh.)

I knew the Marty speech would come back in some way,

"…And it's time for… everyone to suffer like I have! At the hands… of the one thing YOU love the MOST.”

But guys, if they bring up the whole freak show thing in WOTFI, Goop!Four could happen (please make it happen, for me specifically). I could just imagine:

Mr Puzzles: "And now, the greatest freak of them all: SMG4 and his keyboard goo!" SMG4, shocked: "...what?" Mr Puzzles: "Did you really think it was over in 'It's Gotta be Perfect'? Oh, SMG4. The goo never left your body. This is who you always wanted to be, you should've been more careful what you wished for." [*evil laughter*]

Then, it all comes together from the "SMG4: Inside Out" episode, and the goo takes over Four with the man in blue screaming in pain...

Is this ever going to happen? No. Am I thinking too much into this for a silly poster? Yeah. BUT I can't help it, I've gone insane over this.

[lunas-side-anime-blog]

AOT Icks (Eren, Armin and Mikasa)

one thing about me: i am a hater

Eren

def has mommy issues and no woman could ever compare to her like good luck to any of his girlfriends lmao

^^ that being said, as a roommate he’s a nightmare like you can tell his mom cleaned up after him all the time because it doesn’t even occur to him to do so now

toxic gym bro who says shit like “we all have the same 24 hours”

def has the the 3 in 1 bottle in his shower, I just know it

prob calls women “females” 

the cringiest instagram captions like I know he will post sum: “I think my closet bi-polar, it keeps throwing fits💯”  like dude, get a grip

attempts thirst traps, he has a ripped body so it kinda works but the content is so transparent you can’t help but roll your eyes

go out to a bar with him or something and he’s the type to try to make everything a fight

like if someone bumps into you, he's quickly in their face like "what's good bro😡” and you know its not actually about you so much as eren tryna beat someone up

i think he’ll use spit as lube thinking he’s so bad boy and lewd when it’s actually just so bad for your PH like ewwww (if u have a vag ofc)

i feel like his hair would get so greasy, mikasa and armin have had to force him down with shampoo in hand before 

so gross but you came here for icks and I don’t believe Eren believes in holding back his farts for anyone

it can be the most intense and serious event like a funeral and he’ll rip a loud one and be like “what? it’s not good to hold it in??”

Armin

nail biter who will chew on them till the bone and you hear that loud ass “crONCh"

says he hates drama but that’s just something he says to not seem petty bc at the first sight of a fight best believe he’s sitting there, watching it all go down, wine glass in hand like "🍷🤨👂" 

lil shit will even add lil comments to keep the beef alive, like i can see him loudly asking “okay but jean didn't you say her outfit made her look fat though?”

if you're in a debate with him, he’s the type to say something like “you're so uneducated about the subject, I’m actually pretty well versed in it” and your like "okay so what's all ur research then?" and he'll just quickly change the subject bc he didn’t actually have sources to cite lmao

is one of those bfs who would make fun of you for liking trashy tv but guess who eats that shit up everytime? armin.

he does that dad thing where he walks around in the living room and acts uninterested with what’s happening on the screen but he’s actually so invested and would be fuming if you dared watched an episode without him 

i think he’d also be the type to try to be friends with his ex even if they obviously still have feelings for him, but if you dared even talk to yours he’d get all huffy and puffy like “go be with him then🙄” 

got obsessed with skincare after watching your routine but u kinda created a monster bc now he’s critiquing your products and techniques? “Babe you should really consider a gel moisturizer, it’s better for your pores'' and you're like, “boy you used neutrogena when I met you???” 

is that bf who will shower at your place and use up all your expensive washes and scrubs 

not the best gift giver tbh, I think he’s a firm believer that all gifts should be practical so even if it’s a romantic anniversary date and he slides over a lil present, it’s probably just gonna be socks or something, srry

Mikasa

applies her chapstick like a man (iykyk)

“he know where home is” bitch, I hate to say it

i think she’s a girl’s girl until her man cheats on her, then she’d be the type to fight the girl and not really address her man…which is just… 😣

as a friend I think she’s sadly the type to unintentionally embarrass you bc she doesn’t get some social cues.

like you can miss a hang and ppl ask where you are and she’d just say matter of factly “oh they’re fine, they just have diarrhea rn!” and she won’t understand why you’d be mad?

outfit repeater to the max, she has like three tops that she likes and all pics of her are with her wearing one of those three tops

a lil delulu and prob genuinely believes all the tiktok pick a card vids on her feed

likes her coffee black and somehow thinks she’s better than everyone for that???

as a gf she checks your snap score and location regularly and has no shame in it 🙂

fights in her sleep like you will just be sleeping next to her all soundly and next thing you know you get punched in the face? she refuses to apologize in the morning bc she “has a right to defend myself in a nightmare” or whatever

when shes mad at someone she’ll post like ultra specific lyrics or captions and it’s so obviously targeted at one person everyone else is like "girl go to bed, don’t even post the quote…"

[alicerosejensen]

I love your page so much omg. I‘m literally obsessed with your work😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Also I have this imagination in my mind going on about how Leon would try to help his girlfriend from recovering from her mental health issues since she’s always helping him. I was recently thinking about how he would react finding her not moving on the bathroom floor and trying to bring her back! I rewatched American horror stories and the scene with tate and violet in the first season episode 6 (ig?) is always in my head. I‘m still recovering from my past and my unhealthy habits and tbh recovery never felt better.

If this is too much for you or triggering please ignore this.🫶🏼❤️

I had a terrible period in my life when I was a few steps away from doing something like this in my life and unfortunately this shit often comes out. I'm not sure that such texts help me work through my psychological traumas, which were, in fact, inflicted on me and continue to be inflicted by close people who do not consider me a person, but at least such works help me to vent my pain, which I cannot permanently bury in myself.

I have been postponing this request for a long time because I was probably waiting for the right moment to write this text.

There are mentions of suicide, psychological trauma, severe self-doubt and anxiety, so if this is not acceptable to you, then please just block it.

Perhaps there is a similarity with my previous texts, but I am writing this with strong emotions now that I am trying to cope with it again.

the text is chaotic, I repeat, written while I was under the influence of strong heavy emotions. Maybe I'll delete it later, when my brain gets back to normal a little bit.

If a songbird doesn't sing well, they wring its neck.

Maybe it was the costs of Leon's profession and the result of his constant missions, after which something human is gradually dying in him despite the constant struggle to save everyone. Raccoon City was supposed to teach, if not to survive, then make him begin to understand that some are doomed to die.

Leon Kennedy was taught not to offend, but to protect the weak, especially weak women. But it is difficult to calm the flow of disordered thoughts and put aside the fear that has seized him in order to clamp bloody wrists and apply something to them to stop the blood. Leon knew many strong women: Ada was perhaps the first among them, he did not know either her past or her real name, only the present that pushed their foreheads against each other; Claire, a fighting friend of misfortune that he met in that ill-fated city; Ashley, who turned from a baby eagle into a proud eagle; Angela Miller and others…

Your strength dissolves in the water, coloring it scarlet while your heart stubbornly still beats, let the rhythm noticeably shorten.

In truth, over the past few months it became clear that this was the only way out. When even your loved ones considered you an expired product and did not hesitate to remember this and remind you every time. In the end, their words turned into an obsessive worm that settled in your head, slowly day after day, month after month, devouring you and the circumstances seemed to be not in your favor. Instead of support, you somehow faced reproach, as if the universe was screaming that you were an wrong person, nature's mistake who had no right to live.

Escape attempts were doomed to failure. At first you tried to suppress it in yourself, helping Leon, because, in your opinion, he was the only one who had the right to complain about life, although he did not do this in front of you, because everyone said that you had no problems: you have everything limbs, there are no fatal diseases, all loved ones are healthy and there is a roof over your head, as if this is enough to not fall for nonsense and not walk around forever with a sad face.

This was the last time you shared your experiences. You didn’t even bother telling Leon, but everything inside was torn from constant pain. The feeling was as if you were being beaten by two extremes that led you to the edge of an abyss where you ultimately voluntarily jumped.

no, you really loved him, it was just other people’s words and your own speculation that convinced you, despite your strong relationship with him, that Leon would find someone better, someone more confident in himself, someone who would not be you because you had already missed the chance for a good life because it moved too slowly. Ultimately, a couple of sips of alcohol with sleeping pills and a sharp blade in his hands simply promised to correct the mistake in the form of you with your own hands.

You didn't have the courage to do it any other way.

But you really didn’t think that if you could try to open up to your loved one, you would meet support and not condemnation. Perhaps in a mad world he would be the only one who would heal your wounds as you healed him in your time. Leon clenched his teeth, feeling tears flowing down cheeks, seeing these crimson stains, when he pulled your body out of the bath, holding you close to him, repeating “I’m holding you. It's allright"

He so carefully laid you on his lap, managing to pull out a first aid kit and then bandages to tightly, albeit carelessly, wrap them around your wrist in order to somehow stop the bleeding. At least you were still breathing, thereby giving him hope that everything could still be fixed. the darkness and emptiness came to life, calling in a whisper to dissolve into eternal silence where there is no pain or condemnation. Your body will be in a grave under a gray stone, while the remains of your soul will float like a small grain of sand in infinity.

For Leon, everything happens in a fog; he tried more than once to save people, but he had no right to lose in this battle, even if you yourself surrendered to death. Shaking his head, brushing away the tears, he wrapped your body in a large terry towel, kissed your temple and picked you up, trying to somehow warm you, pressing you closer to him. the ability to provide first aid in the field and pull suicides out of the other world is not the same thing. Leon would have thanked God if he had believed in him, convinced that blood loss was the least of the evils that you had caused yourself, until he saw the remains of some substance at the bottom of the glass that stood on the table along with an almost full bottle of alcohol.

You really didn't give him a chance.

The ambulance took several minutes, which seemed like an eternity. In fact, Leon wasn't sure if it was worth trying to make you vomit when you'd already lost so much blood that it was already seeping through the bandages. Surely you would need a transfusion and Leon is ready to give you all his blood if only you would wake up. Holding his breath, he carefully looked at your chest, watching whether you were breathing and fortunately, your heart was still beating, slowly, but it was still fighting for life.

He stroked you on the head, kissed you, promised that he would take you somewhere else, quiet, where no one would dare to offend you, even if it was your family. You could have just asked him for help, just cuddled up to him and he would have protected you from other people’s attacks, but you preferred to remain silent. Kennedy was tired of waiting for the medical staff to let him in, although relatives should be allowed to see the patient first, but the position of a government agent sometimes had its advantages, and they concerned not only the high salary. When he was let in to you, it seemed to him that you had become half your size while you were lying on the bed, curled up under the blanket. It didn’t work out to pull off a beautiful suicide, which meant that soon angry relatives would come here with new sweat of bile especially for you. They won’t care about your feelings, but Leon sat down next to you, trying not to intrude too much into the space in which you imprisoned yourself, as if this blanket cocoon could be a separate world where you could hide. He spoke to you carefully, hating himself for not being able to understand in time what was wrong with your behavior; perhaps if he had been more attentive to you, the incident could have been avoided. You would see a psychotherapist, take a course of medication, and your environment would definitely be taken care of.

You cry, not letting him come to you, hating how you weren't just left to die and how much you hate this world. Hysteria after hysteria, nervous breakdown after nervous breakdown, in the hospital you repeatedly tried to commit suicide, but the attentive staff managed to prevent this before you inflicted fatal injuries on yourself, and if after some time Leon still managed to carefully break through your armor, then your loved ones This did not concern relatives in principle. You only allowed one person to visit you while you were undergoing psychological treatment and you behaved calmer and calmer, listening to the velvety words that soon all this would be behind you.

“We’ll go home soon,” Leon smiled, gently holding your hand and kissing your forehead, just glad that you’re alive, that you’re breathing and that your psycho-emotional state is slowly but improving. “You know, I have a surprise for you, I think you’ll like it when we get home.”

Soon what happened will become another nightmare in his life, a blessing with a good ending, but for the sake of this happy ending, Kennedy is ready to descend into hell at least every day.

You nod at him and smile a little, fearing that the gift is some kind of party on the occasion of your discharge. In fact, the last thing you want is to see someone’s faces, especially those who diligently hammered into your head how insignificant you are. Why do you even hope that the doctor will postpone your discharge, but the plans for your further treatment were completely different.

On the other hand, after taking antidepressants and psychological help in a special medical institution, how many men are ready to stay with their girlfriends who have been there for several months? For Leon, it seems this was not a significant problem, or he simply carefully did not show it. However, there were no parties, no calls, you simply returned now to his home where there were new interior items. it became somehow more comfortable... but something else surprised you.

Puppy. A small puppy of a couple of months old ran towards you and Leon to meet both of them, but stopped and began sniffing your shoes, while something thawed in your heart.

“Animals seem to help us well, They feel when we feel bad, it seems to me a good idea to get us a little companion,” Leon said quietly, stroking your back while you were busy with the puppy, rejoicing at the little living soul who will love you with the same pure and devoted love.

Ultimately it should have a happy ending too. Leon is ready to go to great lengths so that his beloved songbird starts smiling and singing happy songs again, even if it is necessary to remove other birds from her family who sleep and see how to pluck all her wings again.

You and he also have a chance for a happy ending.

[sugarybisous]

how i got rid of my body acne and achieved the smoothest skin ever and also plan on keeping it hydrated during the colder months 🫧🧼���🚿

i absolutely love and adore the naturium brand it really has transformed my skin and helped it so much ive used each product separately but get the best results using them together.

THESE TWO BODY WASHES RIGHT HERE! ive had body acne for as long as i can remember and these two washes have magically made them go away. i notice when i use other body washes my skin tends to revert back into breaking out but these body washes help my skin so much and clear up my skin so well. i still am left with the scarring but they also have a vitamin c body wash for skin brightening that also exfoliates that i want to try out for my scars.

ROUTINE FOR SMOOTH HYDRATED SKIN:

1. the first thing i do is dry brush, you might not be able to tell the difference in the beginning but you will after and especially after consistent use.

2. the next thing i do is shower like normal and use shower tools to really help clean my skin whether it’s an exfoliating glove, wash cloth, loofah, exfoliating wash net,etc…(i recommend an exfoliating glove and wash net for a deeper wash and for extra smooth skin as well you will definitely notice a difference in the texture of your skin after!) i also of course use the two body washes i listed above, the salicylic acid one first then the multi-oil body wash after.

3. the thing that seals the deal…a body oil! yes you are going to use it right after you shower with water still dripping on your skin! (i pat very little water off my body so im not sopping wet reaching over for my body oil) but the water is the key into locking in the moisture when you rub the body oil in the water will be absorbed into your skin and you will not be soaking wet anymore, and the way your skin will feel after? SOOOO SMOOTH!!

after this i like to still layer on my smells through body lotions, body mists and perfumes because these have zero to little fragrance to them

the body oil i use is the palmers coconut body oil which is very affordable going under $10 i believe and this brand has been very good to my skin as well i love their coconut line. and another affordable drug-store body oil is the neutrogena one both unscented and scented i don’t have it personally (which will probably change soon tbh) but ive smelled and felt it in person before and loved it.

this routine gets my skin nice and smooth every time im soo obsessed, i hope this helps! ♡

xo

[nondualiber]

guys, guys, gUYS. SUCCESS STORY THERE!!

first of all, this happened like a week ago or something. okay, so, i'm going to keep this short. i was in some sort of "manifesting block", i was OVER complicating things, my mindset sucked, blah blah blah blah. that's essentially the reason i wasn't posting (and will continue to not be, probably); because i was focusing on my life and actually manifesting new stuff.

warning; kind of long post ahead, talking about how i did it my journey blah blah blah. if you want to see the success story directly js go right to the bottom

first, a bit of background; i have manifested things in the past, but mym indset was always shitty. when i archieved my manifestations i would say it was a coincidence, i was obsessed with the 3d, and what i'm saying has been going on for *years*. for the past 6 months i was in this vicious circle where i'd try a method full of hope, then eventually lose confidence because of some negative beliefs and give up in three days. i'd have a one week meltdown, then search for a brand new method, and repeat. clearly, i didn't manifest anything lately. and i didn't know what i was "doing wrong" because i had manifested lots of things in the past, but i didn't know how nor how could i do it now.

okay, so. like a week ago, when i was in a terrible mood, i decided to stop using tumblr to see information and talked to this bot on character.ai, that assesored me a lot on my mindset. it suggested me lots of things: since i had 0 trust in the law, start to manifest little things i didn't care that much about so i had "proof", actually stop caring, etc. (i really recommend that bot if ur struggling with the law) but the most important thing, it challenged me to try a new "method" i had heard of before, but because of my shitty mindset, i didn't try because i thought it wouldn't work or that it was "too good to be true" or whatever. the method was literally just keep going with my day knowing that i already had it. and oh my f*cking god.

i won't say it just "clicked" for me because i hear that a lot & i things that's just not how it works. at least i can't "click" with something i don't know. what i can say is that at first it wasn't easy, i still had some doubts, not gonna lie, but i just ignored them and keep going knowing that i already had it. i got used to it really fast, and THAT'S how i knew this was the way, because i felt liberated. if you read my blog you'll probably know i talk about that all the time, but my idea of manifesting is that it has to feel liberating, not like a chore, a price to your desires or anything else. i was liberated, because i knew it was done, that i had nothing to give in exchange, that i was free of the 3d & its circumstances. i was Me, and I was free.

this was the best thing i've ever done in my journey. in only one week, i've successfuly manifested:

money: (me and my family are kind of wealthy tbh, but i am bratty asf & always want more money to buy me things 😜😜) my mother recieved 200000 pesos (my country's currency) out of literally thin air on her bank account a random tuesday. she doesn't know who send it or why. i don't know about the u.s.a since there 200000 pesos are 200 dollars, but in our country, that's a LOT of money.

self confidence: i've been feeling super insecure lately. like, i am insecure since i have memory, but since this year started it has become WAY worse. i'd literally cry almost every night. now, i def wouldn't say it's all gone, but it's gotten much better. i've been feeling pretty lately, and if i didn't felt pretty, i would hardly think about my appearence at all this days. i am constantly feeling like i have one less weight on my back, which i am gratefull for :)

discipline: ngl i am forever a lazy girl and a foodie. I have always wanted to be more productive - study more, exercise more, talk to my loved ones more often and eat healthier, but discipline is something i struggle with a lot. however, since i have shown better discipline i have had some of the most useful days of my life: i went out with my friends three times in one week, ate much better than i usually do, exercised EVERY DAY without fail (even while on my period) slept well and passed all four exams this week with an 85/100 on my worst one and two 100s.

reciving a compliment in public: since i tried to start manifesting things that seem "easier" for me to acomplish, i tried manifesting this because it was rare but not impossible. so, like 3 days after i started to embody the state of someone who's always complimented by strangers, i went to the sjopping centre with my friend. then, two guys walked by us and one of them said "i want the instagram of that lady"! notice that during the whole time i was in the state, i visualized that people were asking me for my instagram + i've noted that when i'm in public, i catched people's eye more. yesterday, a guy won't stop looking at me in the café and i think he tried to approach me :)

i'll keep escalating on the "level of difficulty" of the things i manifest as my mentality becomes accustomed to the fact that everything is equally easy to manifest -which is a fact already, i just have a hard time accepting it-, and, of course, i'll be updating ;)

conclusion; look for what works for you. for what makes you feel good & secure that you have already what you want. search a "key" that makes you (actually) not give a f*ck about the 3d, if you have negative beliefs, don't ignore them. work from them, and of course, persist! let your mindset keep you on track.

that was all for today, love ya ♡

[unreleasedwrites]

Um hi I am kinda shy and can you please do a lookism men x black fem reader?

drabbling about lookism characters w a black woman

pov: lookism characters dating a black woman

character(s) included: multiple; Daniel Park, Zack Lee, Warren Chae, Euntae Lee, Jace Park, Jake Kim, Sinu Han, Jay Hong, Eli Jang, Kwak Brothers, Johan Seong, Gun Park, Samuel Seo, Goo Kim, Vin Jin, Yoojin, Yooseong, Baek Hangyeol, Baek Gyeol, Diego Kang/James Lee, Seongji Yook, Jaegyeon Na, Gitae Kim

cw: my opinion, tbh I wasn’t sure how to do this and I’d like to just state that I am not a black woman, but I did try my best to get this request done from what I know in social media and experiences of other black women that I know with their mans, although this can lowkey be seen as any person since i dont really know how to put ideas about them w a specific race, but i tried my best 😭, also wasn’t sure which character would do which so just imagine someone else if you’d like, in this scenarios— they all love you veryyyyyyyy much so if yiu imagine someone like yoojin doing all that for you, remember he is obsessed w you and they all are in these fics and drabbles ( im delusional ), also there are a lot of characters in each because i feel like they all could do that 😭😭

unwrapped on: Sunday Night, April 28 2024

wrapped up on: Saturday Night, May 11 2024

published on: Saturday Night, May 11 2024 (at around 9 PM)

Absolutely head over heels

Absolutely loves seeing you in FLASHY colors. He solely thinks that it highlights your skin tone incredibly well and he just loves matching with you whenever he can. He gets himself involved with all your hair appointments, even though they can take up to literal HOURS. He will literally and deliberately sit there and happily watch you without any complaints. Loves seeing your finished hairstyles, whether it’s any sort of braids, extensions, laid out edges, or new wigs that you had custom made— he is absolutely amazed with how it all turned out. This man tries to help you with your hair but really can’t figure it out so he ends up just watching you as per usual, patient and puppy dog eyed. Even if he isn’t used to it, he will try to do your makeup happily if you let him. If you do, he will be overjoyed and start off with your skincare products and the makeup is only after that. He clings onto you like a lost puppy whenever you just got back from shopping or an appointment because you just look, oh sooo pretty and he doesn’t know how to tell you that in words.

Daniel Park, Zack Lee, Warren Chae, Euntae Lee, Jace Park, Jake Kim, Sinu Han, Jay Hong, Eli Jang, Kwak Brothers, Johan Seong, Yooseong, Baek Hangyeol, Seongji Yook

If he wanted to he would (rich version)

Will rearrange his ENTIRE day to day schedule just for you. He will take you to get your hair done whenever and wherever you want. He comes around at the end of all your appointments to pay and smother you in compliments about how good you look, and if you don’t like what the stylist did, he’ll take care of it. He pays for everything, from your hair and lashes to your nails and makeup products. He doesn’t care about how much it all costs, as long as you’re happy with how it turned out and the service or products, he will never complain or even bring up having to pay for stuff because you can provide for yourself and actually don’t need him financially— but he insists. Of course, you find ways to make it up to him to which he is very happy with. Even if the stylist seemingly did a pretty bad job, he will never admit that even if it were true. He will make sure you feel secure and that it isn’t bad at all, and he immediately books and pays for your new appointment with your favorite stylist.

Gun Park, Samuel Seo, Goo Kim, Yoojin, Baek Hangyeol, Baek Gyeol, Diego Kang/James Lee

You’re just too perfect

Would love to try out the things you do normally but he’s never done before. Wearing bonnets? Count him in. Wanna do braids on / with him? He doesn’t mind. Cook him food he hasn’t tried before? He’ll love it as long as you made it. Also loves seeing GOLD on you. It just highlights your skin tone so well and he makes sure you’re always wearing what you’d like but he loves seeing you in shiny jewelry because it just compliments you so well. Loves all the hairstyles you do but one of the ones that baffles him the most is when you just unwrapped your silk press. He thinks its so satisfying and this man is also head over heels with every single aspect of your body. It doesn’t matter where or why, how small or how big, he is just absolutely obsessed with you. He will also specifically give you his clothes with the colors that he thinks suit you so insanely well.

i feel like all of them 😭😭: Daniel Park, Zack Lee, Warren Chae, Euntae Lee, Jace Park, Jake Kim, Sinu Han, Jay Hong, Eli Jang, Kwak Brothers, Johan Seong, Gun Park, Samuel Seo, Goo Kim, Vin Jin, Yoojin, Yooseong, Baek Hangyeol, Baek Gyeol, Diego Kang/James Lee, Seongji Yook, Jaegyeon Na, Gitae Kim

notes: some are in the cw (content warnings), but also im gonna be insanely busy for like the next 2 weeks but I will upload a masterlist (even though i dont have much works lol), plus an about me post so you can see info on requesting and what i write, i only wanted to post the about me since the masterlist is kinda empty, but in my about me post there is a supposed link that leads to the masterlist so yeah… Also if you look at my masterlist, you’ll be able to see what im currently writing in my drafts and some fics i may do soon!! andDDDDdddDd TYSM FOR 100 FOLLOWERS (107 to be exact) IM SO GRATEFUL FOR ALL OF YALL AND I NEVER WOULDVE IMAGINE THAT I COULD GET HERE AND THATS ALSO WHY IM UPLOADING THE MASTERLIST AND ABOUT ME 😭😭 also because ill be busy my only post within the next week and about a half will just be the masterlist and about me post so im sorry abt that but after ill be back to writing !! 💝💝 thank you so much ❤️🤍

- With or without proper credits, please don't try to steal or claim any of my works as your own

I genuinely appreciate any feedback like comments, likes, reblogs, and requests

Once again, I hope this isn't too bad and I will be doing more of these drabbles so just feel free to request but try to specify if a drabble is actually what you’re looking for and not a one shot, thank you!! 💝

[kagoutiss]

So I am having SO MANY thoughts about the twinrova and how they’re a couple centuries old and so would’ve lived through multiple rulers before “serving” ganondorf.

Like they raised him, what was their agenda? Did they have plans spanning multiple sovereigns to secure their power over the gerudo? Did they have the Omni man “what’s another century we’ll just raise the next one” kind of feelings towards him if he didn’t become their puppet or weapon?

So much thot not enough brain space this rot is taking over me

ooooooogh twinrova brainrot is strong in me too…..yeah because if they’re ~400 years old and OoT ganondorf was still just in his twenties at the time, and a male gerudo child is born every century, then presumably they could’ve been in the position of raising said children multiple times? i think i remember seeing a take somewhere that considered the idea of twinrova’s role in the gerudo being similar to that of impa serving as an attendant/mentor to zelda, and i think that’s a really cool idea. there’s probably also a lot of potential angst to be found in these little old witches who may have cared for previous gerudo princes, and would have had the incredible responsibility of keeping them safe in childhood, while also training them in witchcraft and war strategy, and advising them in their kingship as adults. because if that’s the case, they would’ve seen those princes live and die multiple times too

it kinda makes you wonder if their love for ganondorf is so obsessive in part because they know firsthand how painful it is to lose a child, to live long enough to outlive to your children multiple times. tbh, i feel like them using ganondorf as their proxy for everything, and trying to make him an all-powerful being at any cost, is more a product of their love for him, than it is a litmus test of whether they‘ll love him or not? and by this i don’t mean they’re like,,, a healthy family by any means, like you can still easily apply terms like abuse and trauma-bonding to parts of their dynamic, imo. i think kotake & koume love ganondorf genuinely, and always have, and that the sentiment is mutual. it’s just that they’re willing to go to very extreme lengths to protect/empower ganon in the ways they believe are necessary, because they are very aware of how important he is, to them and the gerudo as a whole. and ironically, a lot of the time, this desperation ends up being not at all conducive to his safety, or sanity, or happiness

like…raising him with expectations and standards that are completely unreasonable for any human being, that turn him into an ambition-driven nutjob who invents lightning magic & masters all types of weaponry & plays a pipe organ, while also having virtually no ability to form genuine relationships with people other than his mothers. or them trying to make him into an impervious, all-powerful being by trying to take divine power, which sometimes inadvertently turns the rational parts of his brain into soup and sets them on fire. or them trying to revive him after death in the downfall timeline by sacrificing themselves, inadvertently bringing him back wrong, and sentencing him to an existence he never would’ve originally wanted

idk. they’re really fun and also heartbreaking to think about. he engraves their names into his weapons, they willfully die just for the possibility of allowing him to live again. their familial relationship seems to be the most important bond in the lives of everyone involved in it, at the expense of any other kind of connections in their lives. he’s their figurative puppet in a few ways, and will break himself over and over if it means meeting their expectations, but i doubt any of them see it that way. everyone involved gets extremely hurt in one way or another, no matter what, often in an attempt to do the opposite, out of love and fear. little fucked up witch fambly……it’s so much

[dangermousie]

2024 kdrama post

We are already in December and nothing new I am likely to be interested in is gonna drop before the end of the year - and if it does it will run into 2025 so I can address it in my 2025 kdrama post, unless we are all ruled by lizard aliens by then.

Normally I list all the dramas made this year that I watch, thoughts on them, blah blah but this year I disliked most of the kdramas I tried (it was the worst kdrama year for me since 2006 when I first started!) and I don't want to make a giant negative post, so I am going to only mostly talk about the kdramas I enjoyed in some capacity.

From least to most:

Love Your Enemy - I don't really like it tbh, but it's here for nostalgia over JJH.

Tell Me You Love Me - good and quiet but suffers in comparison to the original and that FL actress is just not my cup of tea.

Connection - Ji Sung gives a powerhouse performance in a very solid crime drama; it's not higher because it's just not my genre.

The Midnight Shop - it was nice seeing Joo Won in not a disaster of a drama. It wasn't as engrossing as it could have been but I did like both the mains and rooted for them.

Knight Flower - was I emotionally involved? Nah. Was I entertained? Yeah.

The Judge From Hell - "was I emotionally involved? Nah. Was I entertained? Yeah." Redux.

Queen of Tears - honestly, it should probably be in the below category but I enjoyed myself for the first half so much, I am willing to pretend the nonsense disaster plots and character interactions of second half were not as bad as they were.

My Demon - sucker for supernatural romance fantasy done right (to me it was, I know some people didn't like it.)

Goryeo Khitan War - I put it on my 2023 list too so it's double dipping but whatever. This is just a grand old school sageuk and I adored every moment.

Lovely Runner - normally youth dramas bore me but this one was so sweet, so lovely, so pitch perfect.

Black Out - did not really feel like a kdrama at all, more like a prestige BBC production, but I loved it anyway, as bleak and harrowing as it was.

When the Phone Rings - my current obsession, old school melo the way they haven't made in years.

The sad thing is, a number of these dramas started airing in 2023 and/or beginning of the year. Most of this year has been the Sahara.

Dramas which I enjoyed off the start and then fell off the cliff into what the hell land: Captivating the King (wonderful first 4-5 episodes, OK few following, stupid as hell the rest - solid acting brought down by a ridiculous script), The Story of Park's Marriage Contract (great first two eps and then downhill rapidly with each following episode), Love Song For Illusion (first ep not bad, second ep tolerable, after that with each ep, my ff fingers got twitchier and twitchier.)

OTP of the year: Duh, Baek Sa Eon x Hong Hui Joo, When the Phone Rings, have you seen this tumblr lately?

Trend I wish would die: 8 ep kdramas, 12 ep kdramas. Bring back freaking 16 ep as a minimum standard. Also pls get Disney and Netlfix out of kdrama world while we are on impossible wishes.

Genre I need less of: romcoms; Genre I need more of: proper sageuk.

Worst waste of my eyeballs: The Impossible Heir.

Most boobs per minute: Queen Woo.

Best non-2024 kdrama I watched this year: Beyond Evil. A total masterpiece.

And that's a wrap!

(My cdrama post is gonna be insane in comparison to this.)

[lunarriviera]

hi hey hello i have started watching a new crime drama and I AM OBSESSED. it's called 雪迷宫 or, for some reason, The First Shot, although it should be more properly Snow Maze. it's a period piece set in 1997 and it's produced by ZHANG YIMOU which must be why the production values are actually good??? anyway i am here to tell you all about it and why you should be watching it okay here we go

first of all there's a big hot dumb cop, zheng bei. yes that's huang jingyu and you might not like him because of his apparently quite sketchy personal life but all i care about in this case is that he's tall, and thoughtful, and a police captain who's protective of his people and a little bit of an idiot. my catnip tbh. (i guess he was in addicted too? somehow breaking the you-can-only-be-in-one-BL rule?)

(ETA that by "dumb" of course he's not dumb at all, only by comparison; cf. my own stupid meta on this fascinating topic)

then there's an effete genius consultant, gu yiran (wang ziqi), who knows everything there is to know about drugs. he comes from the south to help these ignorant northerners form an anti-narcotics unit. he's such a massive nerd, the team doesn't like him until they realize that he runs 10k every morning and can outrun motorcycles and is actually quite useful. then suddenly it's no longer "gu-laoshi" but is all "ran-ge" this and "ran-ge" that. he can't dance for shit. i adore him.

there's a superb seven-samurai style Assembling The Team sequence in which this cop is brought in as the muscle. Her nickname is mad dog yao and she kicks the ass of an entire club at one point. we love her. her only problem is that, not unlike zhang haixing in tibetan sea flower, she will in fact fight a wall. here's gu yiran's face after a drug dealer mistakenly underestimates her and she stomps on him.

one of my favorite things about this drama so far is how poor the police are. it's 1997 in a dinky northern precinct and these cops ain't got shit. no computers. rudimentary cellphones. barely any forenic analysis, and most of that is on pieces of paper. no bullpen. no interrogation rooms. they have to interview suspects at their desks.

captain zheng is so underpaid he can't even afford a real pointer for his situation board, he has to go outside and get a literal stick.

drives his dad's chicken delivery van. has to slam himself against the front door to open it. everything about this is absolutely perfect.

i'm only on episode 7 but this shit is already brotastic. please behold:

yes that is an actual line from the show. yes gu yiran has to live with captain zheng, they can't afford fancy accommodations for him. turns out there's a trundle bed made out of paper clips but that's okay, they still get plenty of cosy domestic time together.

and that's also what i already love about this drama—in spite of being about anti-narcotics, it's also very slice of life, very daily city life, with meals and neighbors and friends and family and did i mention food, there is so much eating in this drama. it's gorgeous. also i'm improving my colloquial chinese by leaps and bounds.

of course you are you stupid service top, now take care of the baby.

and those are just some of the reasons why you should be watching the first shot, which is funny and suspenseful and unexpectedly brainy and well-cast and has beautiful opening credits. there are 19 episodes on youku's youtube channel right now and the subs are shockingly high quality. i'm hooked, and also so mad at my day job because i can't just binge it, pls join me in this handbasket

[asitrita]

I am obsessed with the way you describe how manipulated France is when he is in a relationship with Spain. I would love to hear you talk more about this <3 (we need more of this).

Like, what toxic traits of France do you think make Spain be attracted to him? Some of the ways France makes Spain unable to ignore him in a personal relationship?

Please feel free to add more questions on this topic. Thank you for answering them for me 🫶🏻

To be honest I just like toxic relationships imao (not for me lol, I just like to see my faves suffering, and Francis is the perfect demon to bring Toni a piece of hell).

However, if I had to choose a toxic trait Francis has (one of the many 👀) that is actually alluring to Antonio that would be controlling. I imagine Francis to be this type of person who wants, needs, to be in control, always. It may be a product of his huge ego and need for constant validation, he loves being the centre of attention and most definitely considers himself above most... Countries? All these traits result in a desire for control as well, and that is what I think Antonio would find kind of attractive. Or maybe not attractive, but beneficial. This is because I imagine that Antonio, as he became the first global empire ever in the early 16th cent. and one of the superpowers at the time for a handful of centuries, was always expected to be in control of everything. He had too many responsibilities, the weight of expectations was too heavy on his shoulders, and the fear of other powers overcoming him and subduing him was too strong, so he always felt the need to control absolutely everything, even the smallest detail (tbh, I think I already said it in a previous post, I imagine young adult Antonio to be a bit... Paranoid, during his time as an empire). So while I imagine Antonio would clash against France, for they are both very controlling people, the motivations for the control they exerted on others were very different. For Antonio it was most usually a matter of survival and accomplishment of his own goals as a nation. Everything needs to be perfect, all the pieces must be in the right places for everything to work out just fine (not to say he never used his controlling nature for more personal matters, but this scenario didn't happen too often). For Francis, however, it was a way to feed his ego, a matter of pride, a way to show his power and influence on others. And thus, I think this worked perfectly for Antonio, because Antonio, as controlling as he was, resented that part of him that needed to be in control of absolutely everything, he wanted to let loose, he was just not allowed to (not as a country, and not even as a person, as paranoid as he was about what could happen if something didn't go according to plan and other country got the upper hand on him). With Francis, he could freely get loose. Or he could pass tense, he became incredibly dangerous over the centuries, but he wasn't so much a danger in the past when the two got along just fine. But he is used to Francis, he is used to get himself go with him, because he knows Francis will be there to pick him up. And of course he will, the control freak he is, he is just waiting for Antonio to give up just a tiny piece of string so he can hold it instead, and is happy to do so whenever Antonio decides to play puppet with him. Both are control freaks, but while Francis takes pride on that side of him, Antonio resents it, so he willingly gives it up to Francis, and Francis is ecstatic with the idea of gaining all control, or better yet, being given all control.

This is probably one of Francis worst traits, and it is however one that is very alluring to Antonio, because it is a way of purifying himself, giving a part of himself that he abhors to a demon that desires it. That, and probably, when Francis control becomes too suffocating, he sees it as a way to expiate his sins and guilt, a torment to redemption. Losing all control about his very being, a fitting punishment for someone as controlling as he is. And from the other end, Francis definitely revels in it.

This was too long, and I'm not sure I made any sense at all. Lol